Howard started the show saying hello to Robin and singing along with his opening theme song. Fred played some Dr. Ruth ''Robin'' clips too. Howard said he thinks this guy Ricky Gervais is really funny. He said he hosted the Golden Globes and his opening monologue was so good. Howard said the guy is great. He said he treated Mel Gibson in the right way too. Howard said the guy is so funny. Howard said he doesn't know much about him but he should host everything. Howard said the guy is terrific. Howard said he has some edge to his monologues.
Howard said he really likes Ricky Gervais. He said he has a lot of clips to play from the Golden Globes. Howard played a clip where he was doing his monologue and telling people that no one cares about their awards more than the person winning it. He said it's a worthless award. Ricky talked about the three he has and how one is a door stop and one is for hitting burglars with and the other is next to his bed and it's none of your business what he does with it. Then he says he shoves it up his ass.
Howard played another clip of Ricky Gervais introducing Matt Damon and joking about how The Martian is a hilarious comedy because it was nominated as a comedy. He also said that Matt is the only person Ben Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to.
Howard said Mel Gibson made a surprise appearance on the show. Howard said that he's pretty much burned every bridge in Hollywood and he's not a pleasant human being. Howard said Ricky has made fun of him over the years. Howard played a clip of him introducing Mel last night. Ricky explained what he had said about Mel in the past and how he finds himself in the awkward position of introducing him again. Ricky blamed NBC for this situation and he said ''Mel blames... well, we know who Mel Blames.'' Ricky said he wanted to say something nice about Mel. He said he'd rather have a drink with him in his hotel room tonight than with Bill Cosby.
Howard said that Mel and Ricky had a dialog and they bleeped out Ricky's comment. Howard said they have it in the paper though. Howard played a clip of Mel joking about how Ricky reminds him to get a colonoscopy. Then Ricky comes out and says something that was bleeped. Howard said the question was ''By the way, what the fuck does Sugar Tits mean anyway?'' That was bleeped out. Robin said that she just looked up how to pronounce Ricky's last name and it says the S is silent. Howard said that's not true.
Howard said he saw some screeners and he really liked The Danish girl. Howard said Eddie Redmayne is a really good actor. Howard said that the girl in the movie was the lead from Ex Machina. Howard said she is so hot. He said she's a really good actress too. He couldn't remember her name so Gary told him it was Alicia Vikander. Howard said she's naked in the movie and she's so hot.
Howard said Jennifer Lopez has a new show and it's so bad. Howard said she can't act. He said that she's so bad in it. Howard said they have Ray Liota in the show and J-Lo. Howard said she can't act.
Robin looked up Gervais again and said Howard is right and he does pronounce the S. Howard played a clip of them introducing Ricky Gervais and they did use the S. Howard talked about the announcer in that clip and talked about how he had to go up the ladder from doing announcing. Howard said that's the goal to get jobs like that where you don't do a lot of work and get paid to do it. Howard said he never would have gotten that job because his voice wasn't that good. Howard said that he'd have JD as a roommate if he tried to do that for a living.
Howard said he knows a bunch of guys who do straight announcing and they're all out of work. Howard said that they want jobs up there at Sirius. Howard said they don't pay anything up there. Howard said they have a lot of old time DJ's up there. Howard said that he was listening to Downtown Julie Brown doing a countdown show over the weekend. Gary said Mark McGrath works with her. Howard said that he has a regular gig other than that though. Howard said Julie counts down. Howard said he asked Scott Greenstein what they pay her and he told him that they pay her in food. Howard said being an announcer isn't all it's cracked up to be. Howard said his dad told him to practice being a straight announcer before getting in the clown car. That led to Howard doing his impression of his dad telling him about that.
Robin said Howard is lucky that he's not doing that job now. Robin said they get mesmerized by their own voice. Howard played the Golden Globes announcer voice again. Howard did his impression of that guy a little bit. Howard said that guy sounds so energetic. Howard said he can't even do that. Howard tried doing it. Howard said he would have been up a shit storm if he tried to do that for a living. Howard said that guy probably got paid $300 to do that job last night. Howard said then the guy probably went to an after party and he told everyone how he was the announcer.
Howard said Kate Hudson was at the Golden Globes. He said there were a lot of people there who haven't worked in years. Robin said she saw Heidi Klum here. Howard said she has a team that gets her into that kind of stuff. Howard said he sat next to her at America's Got Talent and she was always taking selfies. Howard said she wanted him to do them with her and he said no. He said he had to put a stop to it on the set. Howard said she might be the most brilliant woman on the planet though. Howard said a lot of people struggle to get in the paper but she's out there. Howard said she has so much going on. He said she goes out to a park with the kids and she gets in the paper. Howard said she claims they just show up when she goes out. Howard said he was like ''yeah, right.''
Howard said Heidi wanted to put him on video getting his makeup done. He said he had to put a stop to that too. Howard said this really hot chick comes in who is a friend of Heidi's and her name is Alessandra Ambrosio. Howard said Heidi laid out a whole plan for how she was going to get in the paper. Howard said now he sees Alessandra Ambrosio in the paper every fucking day. He said she took her advice on how to get into the paper. Howard said this is what he sat and watched back stage at America's Got Talent. Howard said he saw her getting groomed. Howard said she's in the paper every single day. Robin said there must be a secret to it. Howard said there is. He said that you have to have a public relations team like Heidi.
Howard said Heidi has a social media director and all of that. Howard said she was always on the phone and she has a team take over when she's not doing it. Howard said he had a whole thing going on with her back stage. Howard said everything bothered him. He said he was on a TV show and he didn't want to be on Twitter. Howard said that she showed him the secret but he wasn't wiling to learn. Howard said he still doesn't know who Alessandra Ambrosio is. Fred said she's a Victoria's Secret model.
Howard said another movie he really liked was ''Spotlight.'' Howard said that Mark Ruffalo was good and so was Michael Keaton. Howard said he's terrific in that but not in Birdman. Howard said that The Danish Girl was really good. Howard said throughout history when a journalist goes to interview someone like Barbara Walters did with Castro or something like that they make a huge deal out of it. Howard said it's been like that throughout history. Howard said we go after these people like Roman Polansky and people like that too. Howard said he's not sure if he can be mad at Sean Penn for doing it. Howard said if it was World War II then he might get upset if he went to interview Hitler. Howard said if you don't tell anyone where Hitler is then it's like ''fuck you'' for not telling anyone where he is.
Robin said that this guy was a fugitive from the law. Robin said that the police were looking for him. Robin said it's not Rolling Stone and Sean Penn who have to turn him in. Robin said they did intercept some phone calls between Sean Penn and some actress who knew El Chapo. Robin said that they were able to find out that something was up.
Howard asked if Sean Penn is a good guy or a bad guy for this. Robin said he's just an actor. Howard said he still doesn't know. Robin said it's like someone visiting a guy in prison to play him later on. Howard said okay to that.
Howard said that El Chapo is a big fan of Fast Times at Ridgemont High so he's building a tunnel into Sean Penn's apartment now. Howard said he's not sure how long it'll be before he gets out again. Howard said the guy is a billionaire where there is a lot of corruption so he thinks that he will be able to get out of jail. Robin said it's really cheap there to get out of jail. Robin mentioned an escape there in New York where the prisoners didn't have to give the guard much of anything.
Howard said that Leonardo DiCaprio got an award last night. Howard said you expect some people to be played off when they go on too long. Howard said Leonardo was played off. Howard said the whole night they were talking him up and he finally gets on and he's talking and they play him off. Robin said it was funny because she was thinking about how he's rarely seen as himself. Howard played some of the audio where he got played off as he was thanking people. Howard said that guy gets like 50 people on his boat and fucks them but he cares about the indigenous people around the world. Howard asked if he still has that knot in his hair. Robin said he had a regular hair do last night.
Howard said that women don't get mad at you for fucking 90 women a year if you talk about the indigenous people of the world. Howard said the only thing that helps him get over the plight of the indigenous people is pussy. Howard said that's why he fucks so many women. Howard said that guy gets tons of pussy and makes no apologies. He said that speech alone got him tons of indigenous pussy. Howard said that pussy is untainted. Howard said he wishes he'd make a speech and reveal what's really going on in his life.
Howard said Beth yelled at him for ruining the Golden Globes last night. Howard said she felt that he was being too mean about the people. Howard said he goes into a rant and Beth said he was being very mean. Howard said he got all pissed off because he thought he was being hysterical. Howard said he got into some homophobic humor and he was disgusted by that. He said he may have called a few guys a few names. Howard said Leo has it down though. He said he gets tons of pussy and talks about the indigenous people of the world. Howard said you always see that guy on a boat with like one other guy and 20 women in bikinis. Howard said if you can't get to Leo you blow David Blaine or Tobey Maguire. Howard said that Tobey and David are actually married now. He said there was a time that they were second place finishers though. Howard said that the women wanted Leo but they got either one of them instead.
Howard asked the guys to put that clip back up so he can play it again. Howard said he deleted it. Howard played the clip where Leonardo was talking about sharing his award with all of the first nations. Then he mentioned all of the indigenous communities of the world. Howard added that it was now time to fuck some supermodels.
Howard said he tried to watch American Idol but he saw 10 seconds of it and then deleted it. Howard said shows like that have lost their magic for him. He said he did 4 years on one as a judge.
Robin said she was reading about a guy who was a Vietnam vet who really loved guns and he went to the gun range a lot. Robin said that he died and his ashes were put in gun shells. Howard said that's something.
Howard said he was reading an article about guns and he was thinking about how you should have the right to blow someone's head off if they break into your house. Howard said he was reading this article about how you have to get a license to drive a car and they should have that for people who own guns. Howard said you have to be tested to make sure you know how to handle a gun. Howard said a lot of people get guns and don't know how to handle them. Howard said they end up getting hurt or killed. Howard said there should be a written test and a shooting test. Robin said she would like it where you have to be able to take the gun apart and put it back together. Howard said that's right. He said for those who served, like him, that would be easy. Howard said that he lives with his military experience. Howard said you know the drill. There's no need to repeat that bit. Howard said he had to take a break after that. Fred played him into the break like he was on The Golden Globes being played off. Howard said that Ridley Scott went off on the guy playing the music last night. Howard played a quick clip of Ridley being played off last night. Ridley said he doesn't care and kept going. Howard said that guy is defiant. Howard said no one really cares about those people he was thanking. Ridley kept going and they kept playing that music to get him off. Gary said that he thanks his dead brother at the end and they still play him off. Howard did his impression of Ridley naming all of his friends. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked what Fred was playing. Fred told him and Howard said that's on his playlist. Howard said the guys have all of the songs that are on his playlist.
Howard said he got an email from Adam Carolla. Howard said he has him on the phone. Howard said hello to him. Howard said that Adam is doing a show from a theater in Westbury. Howard said he wanted to come on and promote the show.
Howard said that he heard Adam's wife is a huge Springsteen fan. Howard said it's to the point that she picks up and goes to shows and leaves Adam with the kids. Adam said that in a nutshell that's it. He said she gives him like 18 hours notice. Howard said it's unusual for a woman to do that. He said that's what dudes do. Howard said it doesn't sound like a typical thing that Adam would put up with. Howard said she can go see him two times a year, how's that? Adam said she goes to probably more than Max Weinberg does. Howard asked if that's true. Adam said they both grew up poor and she can afford to do that now. Adam said he loves her so she goes off and does it. He said she'll go to the shows with whoever she can. He said she's like a whore in that way.
Howard asked if it's true that she gives the band members rides. Adam said she does that for Nils Loftgren. He said she's like Uber for the E Street Band. Howard said Adam's wife is hot so he'd put up with a lot of shit but not that.
Adam said he gets to go to Westbury and wow people with his comedy and she gets to do that. Howard asked how long she goes away for. Adam said it's a day and a half or two. He said it's not that long. He said she loves it so why not?
Howard asked if she has a podcast about Springsteen. Adam said she does. He said it works out nicely because he gets to see Lyle Lovett once a year or so. Howard asked Gary what that's like because he's been on the show. Gary said they just talk about Bruce for an hour. Gary said they talked about where they like to sit and about the shows they've been to. Howard said that sounds boring to him. Robin asked if they break it up with music at least. Gary said he doesn't think so.
Adam said it's nice to have a happy wife. He said that Howard's wife likes writing children's books and his wife likes to see Bruce.
Howard asked about a problem he had with a story he told about Kevin Costner. Adam said he told a story on the air and he talked about going to his ranch. Howard said he packs his whole family up and goes to hang out with the guy. Adam said that his wife Lynette was confused when they went up there without Bruce being there. Howard said Adam grew up poor and now he's hanging out at Kevin Costner's house. Adam said he has a whole compound in Santa Barbara. He said he trucked in like 200 tons of snow and had a white Christmas by the beach there. Howard said that he must have a lot of money. Adam said he has enough to ship in a ton of fake snow. Robin said this is how you get that Affluenza thing. She said it's kids getting snow where there shouldn't be snow.
Adam said that he was up there and it was just a bunch of dudes. He said that they had the Mexicans who shipped in the snow there too. He said the reason he sent the picture to them is because Robin acted like she couldn't believe it. He said that he had to send the picture to prove that it was true.
Howard asked how close they are. He asked if he and Kevin can talk about marital issues and stuff like that. Adam said he can do that. He said he'll call him up and talk if the wife is off seeing Bruce. He said Kevin is the nicest guy on the planet. He said they'll sit around and bitch about the city and how he can't build what he really wants to build on his property.
Robin asked if Kevin is still fighting the city. Adam said he thinks he is. He explained how he thinks that you should be able to build something like that if you have paid more than 100 million in taxes in your lifetime. Howard asked if Costner is retired or what. Adam said that he's writing books and stuff.
Howard said that Adam will be doing a show at the NYCB Theater in Westbury on Friday. Howard gave him that plug and Adam said that he goes out and hangs out and takes pictures with the fans. Howard said you can find out more about his stuff at AdamCarolla.com
Howard asked how long the snow lasted out there. Adam said that it was there the whole time he was there. He said that it was still going strong when he left at like 4. Howard asked if it's real snow or soap suds or something. Adam said it's real snow. Robin said when you go to a mountain you get the snow and bring it in a truck. Howard asked if he lives near a mountain. Robin said there are mountains there in California. Howard asked what that must cost. He said that's a lot of Dancing with Wolves money. Adam said he thinks he's more into kids than he is into money.
Howard said Adam is saying that he went to Kevin's ranch for the weekend and he had real snow at his ranch. Howard said they took a truck and brought in real snow. Howard said they had to shovel it into a truck and keep it cold in the truck. Adam said that Kevin has a place in Aspen too and they get invited out there in the winter and he trucks in sand for his guests. Howard laughed. Howard asked if he ever ships in lava from Mount St. Helens.
Howard wrapped up with Adam and let him go. Howard said that's so outrageous that Costner brings in snow like that. Howard said the guy earned it though so why not? Howard said he needs a break to think about all of that. He went to break after that.
Howard said before he gets to David Bowie he has to get to Riley Martin. Howard said they announced last week that Riley died before Christmas. Howard said there is zero information about what happened. Howard said he's not sure if he even had a funeral. Howard said the Daily News and USA Today had stories about him. Howard said the Daily News had a great obituary about Riley. Howard said USA Today had a great one too. Howard said that Don Kaplan wrote the Daily News obituary. Robin said that Riley knew he'd be appreciated after his death.
Howard read the obituary and it says he died on December 22nd in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Howard read through that and talked about Riley's line ''O-Qua Tangin Wann'' and how that must be Tan's name. Howard said he thought it was a greeting. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard read more of the obituary where his symbols were discussed. Howard said he didn't know they were downloaded into Riley's brain.
Howard said that Riley and David Bowie were both 69 years old. Howard said that Bowie died after a battle with cancer. Robin said that they don't say what kind of cancer it was but it was only an 18 month battle.
Howard played a Riley Martin clip where he meets Blue Iris in heaven. They took clips of the two of them to create that. Howard said that's very life like. Robin said it's nice that the Wack Pack are together in Heaven.
Howard said when Riley got to Wack Pack Heaven he met with Eric the Actor too. Howard played that bit where they had to two of them talking to each other. Howard said that Eric is still feisty up in heaven.
Howard played a song parody about Riley too. He said they have a lot of Riley stuff. Howard said this is Little Mikey singing the song. Howard said that song parody is amazingly elaborate. Howard said there were others too. He played some other tributes to Riley.
Howard said before he talks about David Bowie he has to talk to Joey Boots. Howard said they made a call using his voice. Howard said when Joey was talking about his gay stuff they took old audio and called a sports show. Howard said these guys get really pissed off at Joey too. Howard had Joey on the phone so he can hear it. Joey said he has something to talk about. He said that he was supposed to get a Flat Ronnie. Howard said he though that he'd be a good candidate for it. Joey said he was asking Jason for it and he said he'd get him one by the end of the week. Howard said they only have 31 of them. Howard said he can borrow High Pitch Eric's. Howard said that he never promised one to Joey. Joey said he's not going to beg for one but Howard said he should have one. Howard said Eric's might be covered in food and cum stains.
Howard said if they give Joey one then he might get into trouble and then it would be on them. Joey told him not to worry about it then. Howard said he worries about Joey. He said he really didn't think about it. Joey said that he'll just yell behind the reporters ''I didn't get a fucking Flat Ronnie.'' Howard said if he can get on a gay pride parade float with Ronnie he'll give him one. Joey said he thinks he can do that. Howard said never mind that. Listen to this call.
Howard played the prank call they made to a sports show with the Joey clips. In the clip they had Joey asking out one of the guys on the show and asking if he was open to getting a blow job. They got pissed and said get him off the phone. They took other calls and it was more Joey clips. The hosts had them take that number down and make sure they don't call with that stuff again. They kept taking calls and it was Joey clips over and over again. They stopped taking calls because of that.
Howard said that was a nice job by Joey there. Howard said a lot of internet shows don't get calls so they're able to call in and get through every time. Joey said that guy sounded really defensive about that. He said he didn't want anyone to believe that. Howard let Joey go after that. Howard said that was Joey Boots who is best friends with High Pitch Eric. Howard said he's fat but he's trying to help Eric lose weight. He said it's great.
Howard said that Bowie was in seclusion for years and Jimmy Fallon told him that he had an email relationship with Bowie. Howard said he was so jealous of that. Howard said that he isn't good with email anyway. He said he wouldn't be good with that. Howard said he'd feel pressure from that. Howard said he would be ''Under Pressure'' and played Bowie's cover of the song.
Howard played audio of Bowie performing ''Fame'' at the 1998 birthday show. Howard said that this was a very macho version of the song and he loved it. Howard said he just loved that performance. Howard let it play through a little bit. Howard said he had that band there with the black chick on bass. Howard said David was into black chicks. He was married to one. Howard said the white chick thing didn't work out. He said that she caught David in bed with Mick and told everyone about it.
Howard said that David also did ''I'm Afraid of Americans'' at the birthday show too. Howard played some of that. He said that he did get to talk to David a little bit and he told him he was obsessed with one of his albums. He said Bowie gave him an autographed copy of the album and gave him an autographed photo. He said that he has that sitting in his apartment in a prominent place. Howard said that's just something he loved. Howard said he doesn't usually do stuff like that but he was really proud of that. He said he has a shot of that up on HowardStern.com
Howard played a few intros from a bunch of Bowie songs and talked about how great the songs were. Howard said he had so many great ones. Howard said he thinks Bowie suffered toward the end. He said he heard that he wasn't appearing in public because he got fat. Robin said she saw a picture of him not too long ago and he wasn't fat.
Howard said Bowie looked sort of like a woman in some photos. He played through a bunch of intros for Bowie's songs. Howard said some of them are just too long to play. Howard said that when he was a DJ you loved having a 6 minute song.
Howard said that Bowie was a very theatrical guy. Robin said he had lived in a monastery and studied mime by the time he was 20. Howard said don't hold that against him. He said he always thought he looked like Penny Crone when he wore the white makeup on his face.
Howard played more clips of Bowie's songs. He had a ton that he just played a few seconds of. Howard said he thinks that Starman might be his favorite. Howard had some raw audio of him singing that song without any music.
Robin said it's a very sad day today. Howard said it is. Robin said she walked in this morning wondering how anyone can have a normal discussion after this. Howard told her not to get too nuts over this. He said he knows some people locked themselves in a room for days when Kurt Cobain died. Howard played a couple of song parodies about Robin that were done to the tune of Bowie songs.
Howard took a call from Jim in Raleigh who said that Bowie was the definition of what a rock star should be. Howard and Jim talked about how much he did and how he was an actor too. Howard said he was responsible for a lot of the video imagery that they saw. Howard said he's not even sure what he's trying to say. Jim said that he was such an exceptional artist. He said that his performances were exceptional at the birthday show. Howard said he remembers him playing for him and at the front of the stage was Nicole Bass dancing with Hank the Dwarf holding a blow up doll. Gary said for some reason they had a pit and they had a stripper pole there. He said it was really gross when Nicole was rubbing on it. Howard asked if he thinks Bowie enjoyed that. Gary said he's not sure he was warned about what he was going to see out there. Howard said he just let it go with the flow.
Howard said they must have that on video. Gary said he's sure they do. Howard said maybe they'll put that up on HowardStern.com if they can find it.
Howard played some audio from that birthday show and said rest in peace David Bowie. Howard said he loves Bowie. He said he was a great song writer and singer. Howard said it really makes him sad to lose such a great artist. Robin said she's sad that things he did in his early life seemed to haunt him later on. Robin said that Bowie came out as gay at one point and then he came out as Bi and he regretted that too. Robin said he later said he was a young kid and he was just experimenting. Howard said rest in peace again. He said he is the best. He said he's right up there with the greats.
Robin said they say he died surrounded by family. Robin said she loves when they say that. Howard said that if you hate your family that's not a good thing. Howard said that's the worst thing he could do to Robin if she was dying. Howard had ''Fame'' from the birthday show playing. They went to break after that.
Howard said Robin is busy with treats in her hand. Howard asked what she's got in there. Robin said she thinks she has decaffeinated coffee. She said she needed another cup. Howard asked if someone did that to her. Robin said she did it to herself. Howard said he thought she was dragging a bit.
Howard said that he thinks that it mattered to Cheap Trick that they weren't in the Hall of Fame. Howard said that if you ask why they should be in it you just play their Live at Budokan album. Howard had Fred playing some of their stuff from that album. Fred played one song but then switched it to another without asking Howard. Howard said that he can handle it from there out. Howard said that the thing will be if Bun E. Carlos joins them on stage when they are inducted.
Howard said a lot of bands have covered their song ''Surrender''. Fred had that song playing. Howard said he can't think of who has covered it.
Howard had Fred look up ''If You Want My Love'' and play that. Howard said there's an alternate bridge version that he likes. Howard said he loves this song and Beth melts when he sings it to her. Fred played the song. Howard said that's music right there. Robin said it's very Beatle-esque. Howard said Cheap Trick covered the Beatles and they do a great job with that. Howard had Fred play Cheap Trick doing ''Magical Mystery Tour.'' Howard said this is great. He said they put a lot of balls into it. Howard said he likes their version better than the Beatles.
Howard had Fred play ''I Want You to Want Me'' next. Howard said this has been covered a lot too. Howard said he wishes he could play this song but he can't play or sing. Howard said this song has a great bass line. Howard said they finally put them in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Howard said you can't forget these guys. Howard said Benjy is over there shaking his tits. Fred did his impression of Benjy singing along to the song.
Howard said they had a big hit with ''The Flame'' too. Howard said that was like their biggest song ever. Howard had Fred play that too. Howard asked if he played ''Ain't That A Shame.'' Fred said he did but he bailed on it. Howard said congratulations to those guys for getting into the Hall of Fame.
Howard said he's just glad for them. He said they deserve it. Howard said he's not saying no to inducting him but he's not going to do more work.
Robin said she saw a Seth Meyers show where he was running the debates and asked ridiculous questions to clips of the candidates. Howard said he'll have to get a copy. Howard said he ran into Seth recently. He said he's a nice guy and his wife is hot. Howard said he talked to her and she thanked him for saying what he said about her. Howard said she's an attorney. Robin said that Ryan Phillippe has a hot attorney too. Howard said that's right. Howard said she's an attorney too. He said Ryan knows what he's doing. He said he got himself an earner who is hot. Howard said he'd like to file a motion to get a boner. He said that's his pick up line with an attorney.
Howard said that's smart. He said especially if you're on hard times. Howard said Seth Meyers probably said that he'd like to have that as a back up plan. Robin said that it wasn't always looking good. Howard said he'd like to file a motion to undo his pants. He said he'd like to have his hard on sustained. Howard did a few more of those lines.
Howard said that there should be a calendar of hot attorneys. Howard said that he has Seth Meyers wife and Ryan Philippe's girlfriend in there. He kept coming up with lines that he could use with an attorney. He had Ryan talking to his girlfriend and saying ''Do you promise to suck the cock, the whole cock and nothing but the cock?'' Then he had the girlfriend leaving him over that. Howard was on his megaphone doing these lines. He said ''The defense rests its balls on your chin'' and upsetting her more. Howard said he'd like to cross examine her bra and panties.
Howard said that's a hot move to marry a hot attorney. Howard said hot chicks don't want to sit around studying. Robin said they need some comic relief.
Robin asked Howard if he bought a lottery ticket for the 900 million lottery. Howard said his dad told him that it's a sucker's game. Howard said he stopped doing that a long time ago. He said she used to buy tickets all the time. Howard talked about how he turned down a job at WRNW for an overnight thing. Howard said he heard the guy who took the job and he was 100 times better. Howard said he took other shitty jobs and did those instead. Howard said that he was selling advertising and it was awful. He said he figured it was a scam and he sold ads for a Chinese restaurant and he felt bad about it so he quit and called the guy telling him to pull his ads. Howard said it was weird. Howard said the Chinese guy wanted to give him money for the ads but his boss wanted him to trade out for food. Howard said the Chinese guy was pissed when he told him to pull out. He said the guy didn't care. He wanted those commercials. Howard said he couldn't believe that he even made a sale. He said that he wanted to get on the air and get out of that sales job.
Howard said his boss put him on the air on New Years day and he fucked up. He said they were going to fire him. He said something happened on the air. He said he locked up the board and he wasn't able to fix it. Howard said he had to call the Program Director and he got pissed because he woke him up. He said he was told to call the engineer and he didn't know who that was. Howard said the guy was going to fire him but he had no one else to do the job. Howard said he was so bad on the air. He said he sucked dick. Howard said everyone laughed at him.
Howard said he figured out what he did to the board that day. He said he hit the cue and play button at the same time. He said they jammed. Howard said that he'd get on the air between songs and try to say something. Howard said he was the shittiest DJ on the planet. He said he must have been the joke of that station. Robin said he couldn't have been bad that long. Howard said he was bad. He said they had a lot of people like Meg Griffin who were good. Howard said the NY Times decided to do a story about the station when he was there for like 2 weeks. Howard said they were going to come and take a picture and they wanted him for some reason. Howard said the other DJs wanted to kill him when they found out. Howard said that he thought there was going to be an overthrow of the entire station because of that. Howard said they made $4 an hour there. Howard asked why bother paying him. Robin asked what minimum wage was at the time. Howard said he has no idea. He said it wasn't $4. Howard said they had to run to the bank as soon as they got their check too because they never had money in the bank.
Howard said there were people at the station who wanted to unionize. He said if they had done that then they would have fired them. Howard said that they sucked and they only had jobs because they were willing to work for $4 an hour. Howard said that it was like $6 a minute to buy an ad there. He said you could talk them down from that price though.
Howard said all of the podcast assholes have no idea how good they have it. Howard said you have to get paid. He said if you want to be a professional you have to get paid. Howard said if you want to learn how to attract an audience you have to be good. Howard said he knows Adam Carolla is making money. He said he knows that he's the old white douche who complains about this stuff.
Howard said he used to play chess on the ICC. Howard said guys would cheat. He said he'd be in tournaments and later on you'd find out they used a computer to cheat. Howard said that's not cool. Howard said he was trying to get better so he'd play himself. Howard said then he went to the Marshal Chess club. He said that way you see who you're playing. Howard said he went there and won a bunch of games. Howard said he lost to a 9 year old the second time he went. He said that a 9 year old just schooled him. He said a 9 year old can strategize better than him. Robin said it was just chess though. Howard said he felt like a cunt.
Howard said he got up to an 1800 level at one point. He said that's not so bad for a chess player. Howard said he realized how little he really knew and that's why he got out. He also doesn't like being a loser.
Howard asked JD what he has on his page to play. He said he should get into this stuff. Robin said she never said what the lottery jackpot is now. Robin said it's $1.3 billion. Howard sounded shocked. Howard asked how that's possible. Robin said no one has won in weeks. Howard said that proves that it's a waste. He said that you're not going to win. Howard said someone will win but not you. He said don't play. Robin said it's $1.3 billion. Howard asked what you have to do. Robin said this last time no one won because one of the numbers was 13 and no one plays that number. Robin said they did have some million dollar winners. Robin said that the people who heard about that are running to the stores where people won like those are lucky stores.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she wanted to talk about David Bowie. She said that Robin mentioned coming in and not believing that anyone was able to speak. She said that Howard should have been doing that on the air. She said that this is very tragic just like John Lennon.
Gary said that he has an article and Angie Bowie is on Big Brother so she doesn't know yet. He said they're going to take her to the side and tell her. She hasn't seen him in 40 years though. He said she has said that the break up was terrible.
Howard took another call from a woman who asked if Howard has cut out eating fish after his mercury poisoning thing. Howard said he has cut down. He said he eats it 3 times a week at the most. the caller asked if he has tried Yoga. Howard said he has and the instructor told him that he was the worst he'd ever seen. Howard said that devastated him.
Howard said his ass his so disgusting. He said his wife has to see that. Howard said he tries to keep the lights low. He said she has such a beautiful body. He said that he doesn't want to disgrace her.
Howard said the Bengals had a terrible loss and he's walking around there all bummed out. Howard said that he should become a NY fan. JD said he's from Ohio so he's not going to change. JD said he used to live in Florida too. Howard said there's two places he doesn't have to root for. Howard asked how long he's lived there. JD said he's been there about 14 years. Robin asked how old he was in Ohio. JD said he was there until he was about 12. Howard said it's like Richard being a Kansas City fan. Howard said he's living here in New York working for a great radio show now. Howard said he's still a Kansas City fan. Howard said he was a Detroit fan when he lived in Detroit. JD said he's a bandwagon fan. Howard said of course he is. He said he's proud of that.
Howard said be a Cincinnati fan, who cares. He said he bets JD didn't have a girlfriend in Cincinnati. Howard said JD has an apartment in Manhattan now. JD said he loves the city of New York. Howard said no he doesn't. JD said he does. Howard said he's a dick for not rooting for the Giants or Jets. Howard said just have fun there and go see a Knick game... sit in the last row.
Howard asked JD what he should play. JD said he likes Donald Trump kicking a heckler out. Howard said that was pretty good. Howard said he's going to play a phony phone call instead. He said that they have one where they call a black radio show and mess up playing the wrong clip. This was another Chris Wilding call where he said he wanted to play a clip for them and he ''accidentally'' plays a porn clip. Then he calls back and does the same thing in a different voice. He calls back a third time with another porn clip.
Howard said he has another prank call where they call using Dr. Phil clips. Howard played that and they call a psychic hotline and they called in with Dr. Phil clips talking about using heroin and meth. The psychic spends a little time talking to the clips. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break after that.
Howard played Robin into her news with a song parody to the tune of a David Bowie song. Robin started her news with a story about David Bowie's death. Robin said he died on Sunday after an 18 month battle with cancer. Robin had some details about what fans are doing to pay tribute to him.
Robin had Howard play some more Bowie songs and talked about a tribute for him that's being held in March. Howard asked if The Losers covered any Bowie songs. Fred said he doesn't think so. Howard said they could cover Bang a Gong since it's sort of like Bowie. Howard found a clip of himself singing ''All the Young Dudes'' but that wasn't with The Losers. Fred told him this was like a Karaoke thing.
Robin read a story about a new show that's going to be on about people with Autism who they follow as they date. Robin said it's sort of like The Bachelor with people with Autism. Robin said it's called Autism in Love.
Robin read a story about how the Playboy mansion is up for sale. Howard said he got the last issue with Pam Anderson nude in it. Howard said that the magazine is super thin and there are hardly any advertisers. Robin said that if you do buy the mansion you have to let Hugh Hefner live there the rest of his life. Robin said the asking price is reportedly $200 million. Robin said other homes in the area are only going for $60 million. Howard said that sounds like a great deal. Howard said they've been to the Playboy mansion. Howard said that it's kind of weird. He said the pool is like egg drop soup. Howard said he'd want to buy it and make a reality show called My Roommate Hef. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he can work out a deal to block in like a 5 year pricing plan to go to the end of the contract. Howard said no, he has nothing to do with that. Howard said Robin's working on that instead.
Howard took a call from a woman who brought up that JD shouldn't be an Ohio fan. Howard said that's right. She asked if Richard shouldn't be a Kansas fan. Howard said of course. JD asked if Beth is still a Steelers fan. Howard said she's not that into it. He said she's a New York fan first. Howard said that you root for your home team. Howard said that JD hasn't lived in Ohio for 100 years. He said that JD lives there in New York and eats there and has a whole life there. Howard said he's a douche for rooting for Cincinnati. The caller said she disagrees with him on that. JD said Howard barely follows sports anyway. Howard said his teams are the Mets, the Knicks and the Giants. Howard said those are his teams. JD was going to say something but he just laughed into his microphone. Howard said that he can say it. JD said there might be other locations where he stays so is he going to start rooting for them too? Howard said his primary residence is in New York so that's where his teams are. He said if he ever changes that then he won't be a New York fan.
Howard said when he lived in Detroit for 9 months he was a Detroit Lions fan. Howard said home is where you live. Howard said JD spent a few years in Cincinnati and that's his team. JD said it was more than a few years. Howard said that he should move back there then. Howard said that idiot Will is still a Philadelphia fan and he sounds ridiculous. Howard said this is your home. Howard said Richard lived like a shit head in Kansas and he's talking about the Royals. Howard said Richard doesn't run back there. He said JD lives there for a year and doesn't wash his sheets for a year and then shits all over them.
Howard said Jon Hein grew up in New York but he's a Steelers fan. Howard said that's so douchey. He said people are weird. He said that he should just get over it already. Howard said Richard lived on a shit hole farm. He said its more like a house of horrors. He said that he used to jerk off to a Brad Pitt poster. Howard said he was a drummer that he failed at and he lived in a storage locker. Howard said then his life got good in New York. Howard said Richard used to eat his pets. Howard said his life in Kansas was so dark. He used to jerk off into a toy box as a kid. Howard said now he has a good life in New York and he's still rooting for Kansas. Howard said he had the worst life there. Howard said Richard got his first girlfriend there too. Howard said Richard had nothing to do in Kansas so they'd throw rocks at hogs for fun. Howard said they'd catch fish with their hand. Howard said that sounds good. Howard said he has a lot of good memories there.
Robin read about last night's Golden Globes. Robin said Ricky Gervais hosted the show. Robin had some clips for Howard to play. She had some audio of Jamie Foxx and Denzel Washington. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about how authorities are looking into the Sean Penn and Joaquin ''El Chapo'' Guzman meeting that went on while El Chapo was on the lamb. Robin had some audio of an official talking about that.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she bought lottery tickets for both of them and included their birthdays. She said she mailed a card to Howard with the ticket in it. Howard said that works for him. He said that way he's not spending his own money on that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he's been in Tennessee since 1995 but he was born in Brooklyn. He said he is a die hard Yankee fan and he isn't going to let that go. Howard said when he sees Jon Hein walking around with the Pittsburgh thing it reminds him of Jews for Jesus. He said it's like they want to walk around just to annoy people. Howard said Jon Hein lives in New York his whole life and he's a Pittsburgh fan. Howard said he lived in Pittsburgh for like 2 years. Howard said these people can't stand being a member of the congregation so they go out on their own. Howard said he's so desperate for attention. Howard said Jon is like a Jew For Jesus. He said he should grow up. Howard said he just got a note saying that Jon lived in Pittsburgh for only one year. Jon came in and said he lived there for 5 years. He said it was in the late 70s when the teams were great. He said Howard doesn't know this because he isn't a sports fan. Jon said Howard is a fair weather sports fan. Howard said Jon likes walking around in a Pittsburgh jersey. Howard asked if he's on the team. Jon said he doesn't wear jerseys. He said he supports his team. Howard told him to be a New York fan. Jon said no way. Jon said ''Go Steelers!'' as he walked out. JD threw in a ''Go Bengals'' too. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how Mike Bloomberg could be considering a run for President. Howard said he loves him. Robin said that Bloomberg commissioned some polling last month. Robin said that he could run as an independent candidate. Howard said wow to that. Howard said they'll have to see what happens. He said he can't say no if he runs.
Robin said that President Obama is going to give his last State of the Union address tomorrow night. Robin said there will be an empty chair there to stand for the people we've lost to gun violence. Howard said that someone should slip a Flat Ronnie on that chair.
Robin read about Ted Cruz and if he's eligible to run for President. Robin said he was born in Canada but his mother was an American citizen.
Robin said Donald Trump has thoughts on football. Robin had some audio of Trump talking about how football has become soft like the country has become soft.
Robin read about the lottery fever that's going on now that the powerball is so high. Howard said take that money and invest it instead of using it to buy lottery tickets. Robin said they say that fantasy is good for you to think about so it's not a bad thing to play the lottery.
Howard said Ted Cruz looks too goofy to be President. He took a call from a guy who agreed with him on that. Robin said she thinks he looks like a clown.
Robin read a story about Ben Carson and some stuff he's been up to on the campaign trail.
Robin said that Star Wars is still number 1 at the box office. Robin said The Revenant is doing well but couldn't topple Star Wars. Robin read that it has topped $800 million in the United States. Howard said he'd love to know what JJ is getting paid for that deal. Howard said he must be able to import snow into his back yard in California. Howard said he has Star Wars money now.
Robin read about a piece of Alexander Hamilton memorabilia that's coming up for auction in New Jersey.
Robin read about how Natalie Cole is being laid to rest this week. Robin wrapped up after that and Howard ended the show around 11:00am.
Rahsaan said he agrees with Jon. He said it's all about where you're from. He said that you become a fan of the team you grew up with. He said he likes people who stick with their teams even when they're garbage. Jon said that JD is entitled to root for the Bengals too. He said you can do that.
Jon played a clip of some of the things that happened on today's show. Jon said there were some passionate things in there. He said that Robin was struggling with the name ''Gervais'' today. Rahsaan said that her theory early on was that the S was silent. Jon said he's sure they'll be hearing more of that throughout the week.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he disagrees with Howard about the sports thing. He said that his wife is still a fan of the Colts even though she moved to Kansas 20 years ago. He said he totally disagrees with Howard. Jon and the caller spent a couple of minutes going over that whole thing again.
Gary came in and said if he moved to Los Angeles he wouldn't become a Dodgers fan. He said he'd go to their games but he's going to stay a Mets fan. Jon said that you have to fall in love with your team. Gary said you have to have an allegiance.
Jon took a call from a caller who said he disagrees with Howard on that too. The guys spent more time on that with that caller and another caller who disagreed with Howard. He said he felt Howard was just doing it to dig into JD.
Gary said they didn't discuss the weird kid in the class who isn't a fan of a local team but they lived there their whole life. Jon said sometimes they just like the color of the uniforms. Jon said that drives him crazy. They spent a little more time talking about that and then went to break.
Gary said that he doesn't overdo the Springsteen thing. He said his friend is the one who might over do it. Gary said he might go one night to see him locally but his friend will go like 4 times. Jon asked how Howard would categorize his friend for doing that. Gary said he'd call him a loser.
Jon said that David Bowie was huge and made some great music in the 70s. Gary said he did it into the 80s and 90s. Gary said he was relevant for a pretty good amount of time. Gary said one of his earliest memories is a teacher he had who wrote out the lyrics to ''Changes'' and it was to show that you can be anyone you want.
Jon took a call from a guy who said one thing that ties this all together is that Bowie was on Broadway and he played The Elephant Man. He said he knows Howard still does those bits. He said the only thing Bowie wore in the play was a diaper. He said by the end of the show you looked at him like a despicable, ugly man and he had no makeup on at all. He said he was just a great actor. He said that he was supposed to play Frank Sinatra too but Frank may have squashed that himself because he didn't want a bi-sexual guy playing him.
Jon said that Howard loved having Bowie at his birthday show. Gary said he really did because he was such a fan. Gary said that he's trying to think of the rock and roller who was playing great dramatic roles like Bowie ended up doing. Jon said maybe Sinatra.
Jon said that Howard buzzed through Bowie's hits and he really changed his sound over the years. He said he has to thank Bobo for calling in to break the news. Gary said he knew it when he got in this morning. He said this is what Bobo gets shit about. He said Bobo could have had an opinion about Bowie instead of asking if Howard heard about it. He said he should have an angle or an opinion but he just told Howard that Bowie died.
Jon asked if he thought it was a fake story at first. Gary said he didn't. He said it was being reported by CNN or something. He said he had been trying to get Bowie on the show for years and they kept saying that his heart condition prevented him from performing. Gary said that may have been their way of covering up this illness. They went to break after that.
Jon said that Ricky was talking about Mel Gibson and things can get awkward when you say something about someone and then run into them. Gary said that happened to him once when he was at a party and Kathy Lee and Frank Gifford showed up to a party. He said it was at the time that Howard was giving them a hard time so he had to hide from her at that party.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he doesn't get the allegiance to Springsteen. He said he can't understand how he can go to see the same show over and over and over again. Gary said the music isn't formulaic like he thinks it is. The caller disagreed with him on that. They argued about that for a short time. Gary said the bigger thing is that Springsteen is one of those artists where the catalog is so vast that the show can be completely different from one night to another. Gary said he thinks that's what draws people to the shows.
Jon said Howard was talking about Cheap Trick today too. Gary said Howard has backed them forever. He said that he and Jon both voted. He said they had mostly the same ballot but then they veered off.
Jon took a call from a guy who said they lost David Bowie but he wants to know if Gary won $1.3 billion in the lottery would he hire Springsteen to do a private show and invite his friends from the pit. He asked if he'd still want to work. Jon said that someone is going to win it eventually. He asked if Gary would stop working the next day. Gary said he thinks that if Howard won it he'd stop working. He said maybe he'd make his own hours and pop on once in a while. Gary said he would do the show for a while and then probably stop. He said he might go do charity work. Jon said if you win 1.3 billion you can stop working. Gary said he didn't say you can't. He said for some people it's hard to do nothing at home.
Jon said Howard's attitude toward that is that it's a waste of money. Gary said he's 100 percent right. He said that someone said you have a better chance of being hit by lightning. Gary said people do get hit by lightning though. Gary said that he forgot to get in on it on Wednesday. Gary said that the chances are getting even worse now that more people are in it. Rahsaan said he was in on it but he knows there's no chance that he'll win.
Jon talked about how he and JD both had tough weekends with their football teams. Jon explained what happened with the Cincinnati game and how he sent JD a text congratulating him. Jon said the Steelers ended up winning and he didn't get a response from JD for hours. He said JD was really upset. He said he gets that. Gary said that this is a ridiculous conversation because Jon thinks he jinxed the game by congratulating JD. They spent a little more time talking about that. Gary said he could tell that JD was just crushed over that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Gary made a bonehead call about the powerball thing. He said Gary thinks Howard would quit. He said Howard wouldn't quit. Gary said that one thing you have to work for and the other one you don't. The caller said he doesn't think that Howard would change his life at all. Jon said he doesn't agree. He said Howard doesn't have to work but he continues to work so he gets what he's saying. He said if someone puts a billion in your lap that changes things. Gary said that someone who lives in his area won $2.3 million and he wondered why they were even playing it.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:40am.
Howard started the show belching. He said it's appropriate to mention that Rob Zombie is performing their theme. Howard said they should mention it's Rob's birthday today. He said he and Rob share a birthday. Howard said it's also Ally Wentworth's birthday. Robin said it's Rush Limbaugh too. Howard said he thinks tiny Tim was today too but he's gone. Gary said Kirstie Alley is today too. Howard said he thought Gary said Kristy. Gary said he said Kirstie.
Howard had a clip of Mariann from Brooklyn announcing their guest for the day. Kevin Hart is coming in. Howard said he heard an astronomical number for the amount of money he made with his movies. Howard said Kevin will be coming in today for the first time.
Robin said Kevin was on The Bachelor this week. Howard said he hasn't seen it yet. Robin said The Bachelor used to be a joke and a low rent show. Howard said it still is.
Howard said Kevin's movies have made $833 million. Howard said that's a lot of Pesos.
Howard said today is his birthday but he's not making a big deal out of it. Robin said she isn't prepared for his birthday today. She hasn't been feeling well. Robin said she's been working too hard. Howard said she has not. Howard said she's been playing too hard. Howard asked what she did. Robin said she was in class. Howard kept asking what she did. Howard said Robin had a horrible illness and he told her to pace herself. Howard said he told her that she didn't have an upbringing where they sequestered her in a box like he did. Howard said he told her not to travel or do anything to hurt herself. Howard said he was trained by a ninja in neurosis. Howard said that he was trained to survive. Howard said Robin had the opposite childhood. Howard said Robin doesn't understand how to put herself to bed. He said she went to England. He said that it's the most dangerous place in the world. Howard said she's out doing who knows what. Howard said she ran herself down again. Howard said she doesn't know how to calm down. Howard said she's going to fuck up her health again.
Robin said she will say one thing for Howard. She said that the whole 3 years she sat around she didn't get a cold. Howard said she doesn't have to give up everything. Just cut it all in half. Howard said each week she has a new guru. Howard said he is her guru and just listen to what he's saying. Howard asked what she's doing today and cut that in half. Robin said she's doing nothing today. She said she's working and then going to bed. Howard said that's what she should be doing on vacation too.
Howard said Robin should just watch that TV he got for her. Robin said that's what she did yesterday. She said she watched that Scientology special again.
Robin said today is Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's birthday too. Howard said that's what they believe. Howard said that it was never confirmed.
Howard said that getting back to Robin he has to say that he thinks she should stay home instead of flying off to England. Howard said he would never leave this country. Howard said he loves this country so much. Robin said that he leaves it all the time but doesn't tell them. Howard said he doesn't leave it. Howard said he has been to Mexico but it's the most American part of the country. Howard said it's locked and gated and so safe. Howard said the only sightseeing he does is within the complex. He said it's like walking in Long Island. Howard said he doesn't even know he's in Mexico. He said it's barely leaving America. Howard said El Chapo couldn't even get in where he is. Howard said you hide in your room all day and then go out and watch filthy Americans degrade Mexicans. Howard said that's where he goes. He said here are like 5 Mexicans where he goes. He said Michigan has more Mexicans than where he goes.
Howard said that Robin got run down because of her itinerary. Howard said he knows what went on over there in England. Howard said she had a major scare and she's getting sick. Howard said he has another 5 years there and he needs her there.
Howard said he got reports that Robin walked all over London. Howard said she doesn't walk there but she walks all over London. Robin told him to stop it. Howard said she's not building up to that kind of walking. Howard said she's over doing it. He said she ran herself right into the ground. Howard said that's enough of a lecture. He said that he has to move on now. Robin said that's his birthday present. Howard said she should have got him something over in England.
Fred played a quick cough. Robin said don't ever come in there sick. She said she never says anything to Howard when he's sick. Howard said when he gets sick there is no reason for it. Howard said there's a reason Robin got sick. Howard said she's probably sick from London. Robin said she has London Flu. Howard said that's right. Robin asked what good the flu shot is. Howard said it's no good if you're going to run yourself down. Howard said lock yourself in your house and don't do anything like Benjy. Robin said she didn't cry that much even when she thought she was dying.
Benjy asked if Howard gets a kick out of the fact that his birthday might be the same as the Maharishi. Howard said he does actually.
Howard said David Letterman left him a voicemail. He played that where Evil Dave talked about how he should have retired like him.
Howard said that Michael Caine made a phony phone call in his honor too. Howard played the prank call the guys made with clips of Fake Michael Caine. They had him wishing Howard a happy birthday when he called into a radio show. The hosts of the show kept taking calls and having to hang up when it was Fake Michael Caine. Howard said that was pretty good.
Howard said he knew Robin was going to be sick after going to London. Howard said he told his wife she was going to be sick.
Howard said they went to people on the street and asked people who they'd rather wish Happy Birthday to, Howard Stern or Bill Cosby. Howard said you'd think they'd do it for him. Howard played the clips and people were picking Bill Cosby. They all had their reasons for picking Cosby and they were saying that he's like family. Howard said in a similar poll he tied with Charles Manson.
Howard said other celebrities that wished him a happy birthday were the hot chicks on FOX News. Howard said he has a couple of them to play. Howard said he has Andrea Tantaros. Howard said JD is really into her. Howard said he heard that she's dating Dave Navarro. Howard asked if that's well known. Gary said someone just said it this morning. Howard said someone probably made it up and now it's fact. Howard played her clip and said JD wants her so bad. Howard said Anna Kooiman also wished him a happy birthday. Howard said he never heard her voice because he's usually just looking at her. Howard said she's insanely hot. Howard laughed when he heard her voice.
Robin and Gary said that Andrea Tantaros is dating Dave Navarro. It's on the internet so it has to be true.
Howard said that Kimberly Guilfoyle also wished him a happy birthday. Howard played that clip too. Howard said she's one of those hot lawyers. Howard said she's the whole package. Howard thanked the ladies for all of those.
Howard said FOX News started in 2002 so he didn't have a chance to become a scumbag and fuck all of the hot chicks there because he was dating Beth already.
Howard said he has to take a break. Howard said they'll have Sour Shoes sing to him after that. Howard said back in 1998 they had David Bowie singing to him and today they have Sour Shoes. Howard said today he's saving The Daily News and the NY Post because they're all about David Bowie. Howard said it's like a fan's dream. Howard said it's unreal that he's dead. Robin said it was liver cancer that got him. She said that gets people pretty quick. Howard said they said he knew he was dying and he was in pain toward the end. Howard asked why they can't take out your liver and give you a new one. He said it seems like something you could do. Robin said if it had metastasized then it may have been too late. Howard asked her to speak English. Robin said if it spread to other organs it might not work.
Howard said 69 doesn't seem that old. He said people live into their 80s and 90s. Howard said even 100. Howard said he should have been around longer.
Howard said David Bowie avoided doing an interview with them because he didn't want to talk about his sexuality. Howard said it's not a big deal. Howard said there's no doubt in his mind that he was bisexual. Robin said it doesn't matter, who cares? She said she was going to listen to his music no matter what. Howard said the same. Howard said he doesn't care if he fucked some chicks and some dudes. Howard said Bowie called himself the Thin White Dude and he calls himself the Thin White Douche.
Howard said at the end of the day who cares if you fucked a dude. Howard said that Bowie could have just said he sucks a dick and fucks a pussy. He said he could have come on and just said that and it would be over. Howard did his Bowie impression that sounded like Michael Caine.
Howard said Bowie was on stage dressed like a woman. Robin said that was an act and he didn't have to live with that day in and day out. Robin said that he may not have been able to go where he wanted to go. Howard said he's sure that his parents knew that he sucked a cock or two. Howard said he wouldn't have spent the whole time talking about that. Robin said the most fascinating thing to her was that he had to change his name so he wouldn't be confused with Davey Jones from the Monkees. Howard said that Davey was a huge star at the time. Robin said Bowie was David Jones for real and he had to change it.
Howard told a story he's told about a DJ who pronounced the name Bowie as ''Bawee'' and that got him into doing that thinking it was right but it turns out the guy was just doing a Cockney accent. Howard said that's not the correct pronunciation.
Eric said he had yogurt and a granola bar this morning for breakfast. Howard said that's a good start. Howard asked what Eric wants to be remembered for when he dies. Howard said that the guys were asking him if he would go to his funeral. Howard said he doesn't think so. Gary said he would. He said he wouldn't go to Riley's but not Beetlejuice if it was in Georgia. Gary said he has an affection for Eric that he can't explain. He said he's like the mascot of the show so he would go to his funeral. He said he knows his sister would be giving him the hairy eyeball. He said the family doesn't love him. Howard said they've done a lot for Eric though.
Howard asked Eric if his family would let them go. Eric said they would not be locked out. Eric said he talks to his dad once in a while. He said his sister won't answer his calls. Howard said he can't blame her. Eric said he would have his lawyer handle it and give Joey Boots power of attorney. Gary said it doesn't work like that.
Eric said he brought Flat Ronnie to the set of Blue Bloods last week. Howard asked if he would want Donnie Wahlberg to blow his dead corpse. Eric said he would love him to be there. Robin asked what Howard would do if she saw a Wack Packer on the street. Robin said she saw Medicated Pete on the street. Robin said he was just walking down the street. Robin said she said ''Hey'' to him. Howard said he would have ignored him. Robin said that he kept asking her ''So what's up'' and ''Hey, how you doing?'' Howard asked what she said. Robin said she asked what he was doing there. Robin said he had a gig and then asked ''What's up'' again. Howard said it must have been so shocking to run into him. Robin said it was.
Howard said he has something to play. He was about to play that but he had Eric's funeral director on the phone. It was Sal saying that he has a casket for Eric and it's actually the dumpster behind his building. Howard said Sal interrupted the show for that. Howard said they'd have to get like 15 Pallbearers for Eric's funeral.
Howard said last time Eric was there they told him that there's a little girl dying and she was with the Make a Wish Foundation and she wanted to talk to Mickey Mouse. Howard asked what happened when he talked to her. Eric said he made her dream come true. Howard said then he upset her. Eric asked if he did. Howard said he was pretending to be Mickey Mouse and then she dropped dead. Eric said he doesn't know. Howard said he'll play the tape.
Howard played the audio of the Make a Wish bit. The little girl (Jessica Kirson) said that she only has days to live. Eric was supposed to be like Mickey Mouse and prayed for little Becky. Then Becky said she didn't feel good and died on the phone with Eric. They had the doctor get on the phone to yell at Eric. Eric said that she died. They kept the audio going and the guys goofed on Eric saying that he killed her. Eric said he didn't do anything to her. Sal said he might have to give them his information if they come down and do an investigation. Will told him he should leave.
Howard asked Eric if the authorities got in touch with him yet. Eric said no. Robin said Eric forgot that the girl died in the bit. Howard said the little kid was Jessica Kirson. He said that it was an adult actually. Eric said he didn't know that. Eric said he has a 64 IQ. He said he's not that smart in the head. Howard said he's as close to retarded as he can be without being retarded. Howard said he's dull. Howard said they determined that with the experts. Howard said dull is better than feeble. Howard said feeble is like retarded.
Howard asked Robin if Eric has more IQ points than Cosby victims. Robin said there are more IQ points. Howard said Robin wins. Howard asked Eric how many IQ points he has. Eric said 64. Gary said Eric is 66 actually. He said they have a chart. Eric said he had his IQ report at home. Howard said it's 66. Eric said he took a real one with an expert and it was 64. Howard said that's a stone's throw away from retarded.
Gary said they're shocked that Eric is proud of the fact that he scored lower on another IQ test. Gary said that Wendy had a 61 and it's shocking that they're so close.
Howard said that Wendy's phone got hacked. Howard said someone changed her voicemail. Howard said that this is a real thing. The message says ''I hate Shuli, he's a bald headed Jew.'' Howard said that Wendy called them to tell them that she was hacked. Howard played a message Wendy left about that. She said that they have to stop messing around with her phone.
Howard said they say that Coco the Gorilla might have a higher IQ. He said that her IQ is estimated at 70. Howard said a gorilla is smarter than Eric. Eric asked if that's true. Howard said it is. Eric said he'd like to see what happens if he's in the same room with a gorilla. Howard said he would love to see that. Howard said he'd like to see who can assemble a jigsaw puzzle faster. Howard said that would make a great TV show. Howard said he'd watch that. Howard said he has a good relationship with the people at NBC and ABC. Howard said he's not sure CBS would put it on but ABC and NBC might entertain it. Howard said please don't steal his idea. Eric said he'd be into it. Howard said it would be Coco vs. Eric. Howard said it could be a half hour show. Robin said they could turn it into a game show. Howard said they could have them play Tic-Tac-Toe. Eric said he has problems with puzzles so it might be a good show. He's not that good at Tic-Tac-Toe either. Howard said they could put them in a house for a year to see what happens. Howard said maybe ''Are You Smarter Than a Gorilla.'' Howard said that he had ''Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader'' stolen from him. Howard said those people actually called his agent and asked if they wanted to be in business together and they said no. Howard said that they took the idea anyway. Howard said that lawyers tell him that it would be hard to sue and win though.
Howard said he can imagine a game show with Eric and Coco. Howard said they could have them playing chess. Eric said they have to make this happen. Howard said Eric wants to be humiliated on network TV. Eric said he doesn't think he'd be humiliated. Robin wondered who weighs more, Eric or Coco. Howard said he's not sure about that.
Howard said he has to go. Eric said when he was up there last week he met the Biggest Loser weight trainer and he wants to get him on the show next season.
Gary came in with a game of what weighs more, Eric or... He had a Giant Panda. Eric weighs more. Gary asked if Eric or an empty refrigerator. Howard said that he has to think the refrigerator. Gary said that the refrigerator is only 300 pounds. Gary asked about a 3 seat sofa. Howard said Eric. Robin said the sofa. Gary said the sofa is only 350. Gary asked about a Harley Davidson or Eric. Howard said Eric. Gary said the Harley is over 500 pounds.
Howard was still thinking about the Eric and Coco game. Gary had one more. He asked if a Silverback gorilla or Eric weighs more. Howard said Eric. Gary said that the Silverback is only 350 so Eric is more.
Robin read up on the IQ thing and said that Eric is not just dull. He's feeble according to what she read. Howard said he functions pretty well for a guy with a low IQ. Howard said that Coco is dull and Eric is feeble. Howard said he had to go after that. Howard let Eric go. Howard said that Sour Shoes and Tan Mom will be in later. Gary told Howard Tan Mom missed her ride so she won't be coming in. Howard said that's okay. They went to break a short time later.
Howard asked Sour if he talks like a baby at home. Sour said he does a little bit. Howard said the parents go along with it. Howard asked if they ever ask him not to do the baby talk. Sour said he stops it once in a while so they don't ask him to stop.
Howard said Sour got Hot Wheels toys and Hungry, Hungry Hippos for Christmas. Howard asked how old he is. Sour said he's 39 but he feels 4 or 5. Howard asked if he thinks there are other people like him out there. Sour said no. Howard asked if he has any adult sexual desires. Sour said no. Howard said Sour was in the green room coloring in a coloring book. Howard said he's a baby.
Howard talked to Baby Sour but he had nothing to say to him. Sour did a baby crying thing and did that as if he were Howard being born on this day in 1954.
Howard asked if he wears diapers. Sour said he has in the pool but he doesn't do it for long because he may not be able to control himself. He said he may have put them on at other times too. Howard said he's this close to sounding like he should be in prison.
Howard said Sour got a Boba Fett action figure for Christmas too. Sour said he got a couple so he can play with one. He said one melted in his attic because it's so hot up there. Howard asked if his fantasy is to play with little kids. Sour said no because he sees them as his age. Howard said he would be a good nanny because he plays with kids at their level. Howard said that might freak them out.
Howard read more of the stuff Sour got for Christmas and there were a lot of kid things on the list. Howard said he must bum out his parents. Sour said he doesn't think so. Howard said he's sure he does. Robin said this isn't what his parents expected.
Howard said Chris Robinson was up there one time and Sour followed him into the bathroom and talked to him like Gary. Howard asked what Chris said. Sour did his Gary voice and told Howard some nonsense.
Howard said Sour loves doing that Gary ''Noine'' thing. Howard said he's going to sing to him now. He said he can do his own thing. Sour was wondering if he should do it in his Gary voice. Howard said do it however he wants. Sour did his radio DJ voice and then broke into his Gary voice and then his Artie Lange and Mad Dog Russo.
Howard talked to Sour as Mad Dog Russo. Sour did that and had a conversation with him for a short time. Sour was talking football as Mad Dog Russo. Then Sour did his Mike Francesa impression and told a story about seeing Mad Dog up there at Sirius and Mad Dog was getting his hair cut so he did his Mike Francesa.
Howard asked Sour, as Mad Dog, who he thinks will be in the Super Bowl. Sour did more of his Mad Dog impression where he was talking about what's happening with a bunch of teams. Sour picked Arizona and New England. He said that it has been Kansas City's year though. He did all of that as Mad Dog.
Howard talked to Sour as Gary. He told him to take care of Kevin Hart when he comes in. Sour did his Gary impression for a short time but then he broke into his Mad Dog Russo voice again. Howard asked Mad Dog who his favorite band is. Mad Dog said that Springsteen is great but he loves Supertramp too. He broke into some songs on his keyboard. He sang as Mad Dog and then broke into his Gary voice again. He cleared his throat like Gary and then sang. Howard said he loves the clearing of the voice.
Sour told Howard about something Gary said on last Thursday's Wrap Up Show. He said that Gary said Fred is like the Harpo Marx of the show because he always knows when to hit the horn.
Howard thanked Sour for coming in. Howard said it would be great if he did a movie where he becomes a baby after drinking something.
Howard asked Sour what his favorite cartoon is. Sour said that he loves Daffy Duck. Robin asked if he likes My Little Pony or anything like that. Sour said he does like that and some other things.
Howard asked sour where he is politically. Sour, as Mad Dog, talked politics for a short time. He broke out of that voice and did others while he was talking to Howard about politics.
Robin said she could listen to him talk politics all day long. Sour broke into his Gary voice again and talked about some music stuff.
Howard asked if Scott Ferrall was there. Sour broke into that voice too. He talked some politics too. Sour was telling Howard where he works and what time he's on. Scott was making some football picks too. Howard said it's good to talk to Scott again. Howard said that you could listen to that all day but it's probably best to leave people wanting more. Howard said that they heard from a lot of people like Gary, Artie, Mad Dog and Scott Ferrall. Howard said Gary got him a Beatles DVD. that led to Sour breaking into his Gary voice and then playing some music and singing as Gary. Howard went to break as Sour was playing and doing his Jackie voice.
Howard said Mark Harris recorded a birthday song for him. He said mark used to be on the show a lot. Howard said he was married to Martha Raye. Howard played that clip of Mark singing Happy Birthday to him. Howard said that's very nice. Howard said he's not sure Mark is listening to the music as he sings. Howard cut it off after Mark started singing a second song. Howard said he has like an album of birthday songs. Howard said when he hears him sing he feels like sucking a cock. He told Fred to get over there.
Gary said Mark has a group called Gays for Trump and he wants gays to vote for Donald Trump. Howard said you can find out more about that at Facebook.com/TalkingTrump
Howard played another song from Mark where he sings about Howard Stern. Howard said he can't stop listening. Howard said he's so fucking good. Robin said he's some lyricist.
Howard said they have to get back to his birthday. Howard played another song from Mariann from Brooklyn. Mariann was screeching out a Happy Birthday song for him. Howard said she recorded a love song to him too. Howard played that as well.
Howard said Sal has a friend at a porn site, Brazzers.com, and they did something for his birthday too. Sal came in and said this was thanks to Vick Lagina. Howard said this is porn stars having sex while wishing him Happy Birthday. Howard played the clip and they had a guy cumming and wishing Howard a happy birthday. They had a girl doing the same. Howard said that Nikki Benz is getting anal and wishing him happy birthday at the same time. Howard said they had video of that too. Howard said he thinks that the guy was going too vigorous at the time so she kept slowing him down. Howard played audio of that too.
Howard said next is a girl giving a guy a blow job and wishing him a happy birthday. Howard played that and the girl was gagging on the guy while wishing him a happy birthday. Sal said she's a trooper. Robin said that's from a guy who doesn't have any daughters.
Howard said there's one more. He didn't see video of that one. Sal said that this guy has a girl's leg up in a V while slamming her. Howard played the audio of that too. Howard thanked Sal for doing that. He said he's such a perv. He said he needs to get laid.
Howard played a clip of Memet calling Tan Mom to find out what she'd be willing to do. Memet said that they wanted to put her in a birthday cake and have her jump out but they wanted her to be baked in the cake at 400 degrees. Memet also asked her to be inseminated by a cat and give birth to a human/cat fetus. Tan Mom said she wanted it if she did that. She didn't want Howard adopting it out. Tan Mom was willing to play Russian Roulette. She was all for that.
Howard asked if she really knows what Russian Roulette is. Howard said it's too long to play but they asked her a few other things. Howard said that she said yes to being sawed in half and taking over a federal building with force. Howard said they asked her if she would sing love songs with Sal and she said no. Howard asked why she said no to that. No one answered. Howard read through some of the other things they asked her. She said no to a bunch. She said she might be willing to be a human pinata.
Howard said that's it for the birthday stuff. He said he's had enough. He said he had enough in the first hour. Howard said Kevin Hart will be there soon. Howard said that he has a new movie coming out. Robin said it's sequel. Howard said that his movies have made over $800 million so he's on a tear. Robin asked if he's seen any of his movies. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said they'll talk to him about some of the movies. Robin said he did one with Will Ferrell. Howard said he liked the Will Ferrell movie where he's the step dad. Howard said he watched the new Adam Sandler movie on Netflix and it was piss his pants funny.
Robin said she tried to watch the movie Spotlight but it was tedious. Howard said it's great. Gary agreed with Howard. Howard said it was so good. Robin said she didn't find it fascinating like Howard did. Howard said he thought Robin would like it.
Howard said he has some Underdog Lady tape to play too. He said she gave an in depth interview to Shuli. He said he has to take a break though. He said Kevin will be coming in.
Howard read a couple of quick news stories. He had one about some fans who got into fights at some football games. Howard said at the Golden Globe awards Ryan Gosling and Brad Pitt presented together and they may have mentioned Robin. Ryan mentioned being like a secondary character and mentioned that he has been cast in some kind of Joe Biden, Andy Richter or Robin role. Howard said they're not sure if it's Batman's Robin or Robin Quivers. Howard said that Robin might be more famous than Robin from Batman. They went to break after that. They played Fred Armisen singing ''Blackbird'' at the Howard Stern Birthday Bash as they went to break.
Howard came back and said that Kevin Hart is a big success. He said that he has played to big stadiums doing stand up. Howard had Kevin come in. He said he was looking at pictures of him with his shirt off. Howard said he was out swimming somewhere with his Fiancee. Kevin said that he's doing good for himself. Howard agreed with that. Howard said she's really hot. Kevin said that it makes him look like he respects who she is if he says that instead of just some hot girl.
Howard said that Kevin is in some shape. Howard said he is working out like a machine. Howard asked what he's doing in the gym. Kevin said he's benching like maybe 245. Howard said he's doing like 95. Kevin said his frame is different. Kevin said he works out so much because he's doing action comedies. He said they'll turn into action movies. He said he needs people to feel good about the investment they make with him. He said the better he looks the more people will want to see him. Howard said they have to see him in good shape. Kevin said that's right. Howard said sometimes people get too muscular. Kevin said he doesn't want to be in that place where he can't move his neck. Howard said coming off like The Rock would make it cease to be funny. Kevin said he's staying in his lane and staying funny.
Howard said Kevin played to 53,000 people at a stadium. Howard said he must have to change his act for that. Kevin said not at all. He said that's what some people do but he doesn't. He said when you hear the roar come then you know they're there to see you. He said you can make that arena intimate. Howard said it must be a wave of laughter. Kevin said he plays it the same way in small clubs or an arena. He said they have the big boards for people to see him on a big screen. Howard said that must be weird to do that. Kevin said they're big productions.
Howard said Kevin started out in stand up and he was a shoe salesman. Howard said the people he worked with told him to go try stand up. Kevin said that's true. Howard said he didn't have fantasies about being a comedian before that. Kevin said he did want to be an entertainer. He said he didn't know how to be a comedian. He said he didn't know how to do what Chappelle and Eddie Murphy were doing. He said once he started he knew that's what he wanted to do though.
Howard said Kevin's mom seems really bright. Howard said she worked at the University of Pennsylvania as a computer analyst. Howard said she married a drug addict. Kevin said that the drugs messed it up. He said that it was the real deal. Howard said Kevin said his dad may have blown guys to get drugs. Kevin said he grew up in Philadelphia and he heard stories. He said he can only assume. He said his dad didn't have the money so he's not sure how he was getting it. Howard said Kevin's dad stole a $20 from him for drugs once. Kevin said that's right. Howard said there has to be great pain behind that. Kevin said it's all about how you deal with pain. Howard said that the laughter must be a defense mechanism. Kevin said that they've dealt with a lot of comedians with dark souls. He said he's a happy guy. Howard asked if he really is. Kevin said he knows he's a happy guy.
Howard asked if Kevin ever thought that he'd be doing better if his dad was there for him. Kevin said from 2 to 8 his dad did what he could. He said his dad was into heroin and coke and everything else. He said things happen for a reason. He said if his dad was around maybe his life would be different. He said he doesn't do the drugs like his dad did. He said that he might smoke some weed but that's hardly a drug. Howard asked if he ever thought about what his dad did. Kevin said it's all about self control. He said he's seen the consequences of addiction. He said he doesn't want to make those mistakes with his kids so he won't do that.
Howard asked Kevin about seeing his mother struggle. Kevin said she was so strong. He said that she handled it very well and raised the two kids very well. He said that he applauds his mother. He said that she kept them inside if the street lights were on. He said she'd whoop his ass.
Howard said he lost his mom in 2006. Kevin said it was around 2006 or 2007. He said that she had cancer. He said that he thinks of her as his guardian angel. Howard asked if he's religious. Kevin said he is but not crazy religious.
Howard said that Kevin's uncle was in prison and now he's out but he still acts like he's in prison. Kevin said he covers his food like someone is going to steal it from him. He said he's tried to tell him to just take it easy but he still acts like he's in prison.
Howard asked if his dad is still around. Kevin said he's around and he's still in touch. He said he never lost touch. He said he bought his dad a house and he's drug free now. Howard asked if he's drug free because of him. Kevin said it's because of him and his brother. He said now he's all about clean living. Howard said he still thinks he'd be bitter. Kevin said you only have one life. He said you can't hold grudges. Howard said if a guy wrongs you then you have to think about what they did to you. Kevin said he's had that but he has so many people from his past. He said he has ex-managers who told him he wasn't going to make it. He said he doesn't give a shit. He said that he shakes their hand. He said it hurts you more to hold that against people.
Howard asked Kevin about his brother becoming a professional pool player. Kevin said that's true. Howard said that has to be a tough life. Kevin said it's a tough game for his brother because he's an over thinker. He said he thinks about what he could have done that he didn't do. Howard asked if he is jealous of his career. Kevin said nope. He said he takes care of his brother too. He said he bought him a house too. Howard asked if he gets them big houses or keeps it modest. Kevin said he gives them what they want. He said they stick to a number and they get what they want. Kevin said he is who he is because of them. He said you take his dad and brother away he's not the guy he is now.
Howard said here has to be someone in his life who doesn't get a house. Kevin said his ex-wife has a house. Howard said she's entitled. Kevin said she's the mother of his kids so he has no resentment at all.
Howard asked Kevin about going to college. Kevin said he went for like 2 weeks. He said that his mother supported him while he was working. Kevin said he was late on his rent for like 2 months and his mother asked if he reads the bible. He said one day he was in the room and he went to the bible because his mom kept telling him about it. Kevin said he opened the bible and like 7 months of rent checks fell out of the bible. He said she is so smart because she knew where to put it. Kevin said he started reading the scripture every day after that. He doesn't do that now but he did back then.
Howard said Kevin was a shoe salesman and he was working in New York. Kevin said he wanted to be the best at what he as doing and he wanted to go work for Nike or something. He said he knew everything there was to know about sneakers. Howard said that someone says to him that he's really funny and he should be a stand up comic. Kevin said he was the funny guy making everyone laugh. He said the days went by fast because of that. Howard said that doesn't always translate to a funny guy at a comedy club. Kevin said that's true. He said that someone at work told him to try out at this comedy club. He said everyone told him to do it. Kevin said he went home and had a week to prepare for the comedy thing. He said his mother knew nothing about it at the time. Howard said his comedy must have been shoe humor. Kevin said it was mostly about being on the bus and getting to work. He said it was interactions with people and getting robbed and things like that. He said there were only 15 people at the amateur night and 6 of them were co-workers. Kevin said he fell in love with that whole scene though. He said he walked off thinking that if he studied it that he could do it.
Howard said he studied other comics like J.B. Smoove and mimicked him. Kevin said that you're not supposed to do that but that's what he did. Kevin said it was a cadence that he was taking from J.B. He said that he wasn't taking material. Kevin said it got to the point where he felt he was too comfortable. He said he had no pressure on him so he quit his shoe job. He said he had no choice after that. Howard said sometimes people would throw food at him at clubs. Kevin said he did get hit by a chicken wing in Atlantic city. He said that the guy threw it at him and hit him in the face.
Howard said Kevin called himself Lil Kev the Bastard for a while. Kevin said they were in the car talking about what name they could use and his friend thew that out there Kevin said he thought it sounded good at the time. He said that didn't last long. He said it did nothing for him at all. He said not one person said it.
Howard said that Kevin got really personal eventually. He said he became a real comic. Kevin said he stopped becoming a character. Kevin said there's a point when you are yourself and you're genuine. He said you don't tap into that. He said he did that later in his career. He said he stopped with the fake stories and the phony voices. Howard said it took him years to find his voice on the air. He said it took a lot of practice and thought. Howard asked if he taped everything he did. Kevin said he did and he studied himself. Kevin said that any comedian out there should watch the movie ''The Comedian.'' He said Orny Adams is the one who made him realize what he was doing. He said he was a fan of his work ethic. He said he really admired his work ethic. He said that the ones who succeed show you where the success came from.
Howard said Kevin got bigger and bigger and then Judd Apatow found him. Kevin said Dave Attell saw him perform and he asked him if he had a manager. Kevin said he had nothing at all at the time. He said that Dave introduced him to Dave Becky. He said that he loves Dave because of that. He said Dave saw that talent in him and wanted to introduce him. Howard said most people won't do that. Kevin said it's a cut throat sport and it shouldn't be. Kevin said that Dave Becky came to see him and did a hand shake with him. He doesn't sign contracts and he's been with him for 14 years. He said Dave is very happy with him and he's happy with Dave.
Howard said Judd Apatow eventually finds him and puts together the show North Hollywood. Kevin said he figured he had made it. He said he got a $25,000 check for the pilot and he thought he was set. Howard said he went out and bought himself a Mercedes. Kevin said he did. He said that he thought it was the same as 25 million. Howard said then the pilot doesn't get picked up.
Kevin said that they had Amy Poehler and Judge Reinhold and others in the pilot. He said Seth Rogen was a writer on the show. He said that it was crazy. He said that it didn't get picked up. Kevin said this was years ago and he and Jason Segel were roommates for a while. He said that was Judd's idea to put them together since they were roommates on the show.
Kevin said the show didn't get picked up and he got the call from Dave Becky who told him he is a star regardless of what happens. He said they're not picking up the show but there will be more shows. He said the good thing is that Judd likes him. Kevin said he was still living with Jason and he had to go back to his life. Kevin said he was devastated.
Howard said he got fired from NBC and his agent told him that it was the best thing that could have happened to him. He said you can't process that at the time.
Howard said Kevin auditioned for Saturday Night Live and it seems to him he would have been great. Howard said he got beat out because guys did impressions. That wasn't Kevin's thing at all. Kevin said that he was staring at Lorne Michaels in the face. He said he was eating popcorn while he was auditioning. He said he didn't know if that was rude or not rude. He said it just is what it is. Howard said he's trying his best and it's a dry room. Howard asked what he did. Kevin said he did an impression but he doesn't do impressions. He said Dave told him he had to do impressions. Kevin said he did an Avery Johnson impression and no one in the room knew who it was. He said he did a Chris Tucker impression too. He said the decision not to cast him was the best decision. He said that he was hoping they'd see something else in him but it worked out for him.
Howard said the film career takes president. He said he did some movies like Scary Movie 3. That makes a lot of money. He did Soul Plane and then thing start taking off in his touring. Howard said he was making big money from his stand up. Kevin said after Soul Plane bombed he was at a low point again. He said that he was there waiting for the phone to ring and that's not who he is. He said he told Dave that he's going to focus on stand up. He said he was in control and he went on the road for about 4 years. He said he did a full circle and go through any city and state that would book him. He said he'd get emails and started a big database. Howard said he did a comedy tour in 2009 and then 2010 and then in 2011 he started a tour that grossed $15 million. Howard said comics don't make that kind of money. Kevin said that's when his reality tapped in. He said that he approached it like a business. He said he went to AMC theaters and spent $700,000 of his own money and had his movie out in their theaters only. He said he did 8 million on ''Laugh at My Pain.'' He said it all came back to him.
Howard said things started to click for Kevin. Kevin said that he did like $150 million on ''Let Me Explain'' and he funded it all so he owned and controlled his product.
Howard asked Kevin about when he was divorced. Kevin said it was before the shit hit the fan. Kevin said that everything happens the way it's supposed to. Howard asked if he has to cut material about his first marriage. Kevin said no. He said he lets it all hang out. Kevin said he has no room for anger or anything. He said that he doesn't have that. He said he's friends with the first wife. He said she's the mother of his kids. He said that the kids love their dad too.
Howard said now Kevin has this hot fiancee. Kevin said the kids lover her too. Howard asked if he can stay in a relationship. Kevin said of course. He said that he knows what matters now. He said that comedy is where he gets it all out. He said that he understands the true meaning of marriage now. He said that you are with someone you are willing to die with. He said he thinks that love carries a whole other meaning. He said that love is your heart at it's biggest capacity. He said that with love nothing else matters. He said that she is the one thing that matters to him. Howard asked if the kids love her too. Kevin said they do but they know that no one can replace their mother.
Howard asked if he was a ladies man. Kevin said that if you're funny and you can drip a little bit of cool then you'll be fine.
Howard read about some of the movies Kevin has done like Think Like A Man that did 96 million. Ride Along, The Wedding Ringer, Get Hard and others did $100 million or so. Howard asked if Kevin gets busted up inside if a movie doesn't do well. Kevin said with all of his movies he hasn't had one open under $25 million. He said he has a fan base and he has a unique way of reaching them. He said that the studios don't understand. He said he has about 25 million twitter followers. He said that he has a total between all of the social media things around 100 million. Howard said the audience trusts him. Kevin said he won't back something he didn't put 100 percent into.
Howard said the Sony Hack revealed that Kevin was criticized by some of the movie studio people saying that he was a whore. Kevin said they called him a whore. Howard said that Kevin asked for some money to reach out to his audience and they called him a whore for asking for more money. Kevin said that he has to be able to tap into his database and he can't just access it. He said that it's a business and that's how he handles his social media database. He said he had to build that up himself. He said that's him operating a brand that he built up. He's not going to give it away for free.
Howard said the new movie is Ride Along 2. Howard asked if he wrote this. Kevin said he came in around the time they were punching it up. He said that they added some characters and some personality to the movie. Howard said it opens on Friday.
Howard asked Kevin if he thinks he could get any movie made. Kevin said at this point he thinks so. He said that it's his reputation around Hollywood and they know that he's serious. Howard said he's focused. Kevin said he is. Robin asked if he wants to do other kinds of movies. Kevin said he wants to do it all. He said he's already producing. He wants to direct too. He said he wants to be a mogul.
Howard asked if Kevin ever met a woman in the shoe store that he met and eventually banged. Kevin said of course. He said that was the best part of the job.
Howard asked if Kevin is friends with Nick Cannon. Kevin said he is. He said that Nick thinks of things that are so simple and you wonder why you didn't think about it. He said he turns it into major success. Howard said Kevin is working too hard but he's on a major pussy tour. Howard said when he got divorced he saw the women coming out of his trailer after his divorce. Howard said he had to pull nick aside and tell him to calm down. Kevin said Nick loves the lord. Howard said that pussy falls out of Nick's bible. That's how much he's getting.
Howard asked if Kevin can play off of Ice Cube in this movie. Kevin said they can play off of one another. He said they work together really well. Howard asked if they will be around to see the premiere together. Kevin said he will be doing international publicity for the movie later in the week. He said he has to prepare for his next tour too.
Howard said that he's going to co-star with The Rock in his next movie. Kevin said he's a down to earth guy. He said that DJ appreciates his fans at a high level. He said he's a humble guy. Howard said that the height difference must be funny. Kevin said that's another reason he's in the gym working out.
Howard said the new movie opens on Friday. He said the first Ride Along made a ton of money. Kevin said he hopes this one does too. Howard asked what he does in his spare time. Kevin said he spends time with his babies. He said they go on vacation and spend a lot of time together.
Howard asked when the wedding is. Kevin said it's on August 8th. Howard asked if The Rock will be there. Kevin said it's very private so he can't reveal that stuff. Howard asked if any friends from the shoe store will be there. Kevin said no they will not. Howard said there are going to be a ton of celebrities there. Kevin said those who are his friends will be. He said that his wife's friends will be there too. Howard said she's going to make one beautiful bride. Kevin said he wouldn't be marrying her if she wasn't.
Howard asked Kevin if he has anything else to say about this movie. Kevin said go see it because it does not disappoint. He said it beats out the first one.
Robin said they didn't talk about the Justin Bieber roast. Kevin said that was a lot of fun. Howard asked if he believed Bieber even agreed to do it. Kevin said he and Bieber are good friends. He said that he will be at his wedding. He said he's invited so he hopes he shows up anyway. Kevin said that you can't throw that kind of success and money at a young kid and expect them to be free and clear. Howard asked what's going to go on at this wedding. He said he wants to know who is performing and things like that. Kevin wasn't talking. Howard wrapped up with Kevin and went to break a short time later. They played a clip of Howard talking about the things he hates as they went to break. They also played a Happy Birthday song to Howard and Natalie Maines and Sarah Silverman singing a song to Howard at his 2014 Birthday Bash.
Howard said it was planned... by them. Howard took a call from Tommy from Malden who said that Orlando Bloom was hitting on Katy Perry at the golden Globes. Howard said Katy has really worked on herself and he saw what she looked like. Howard said she's so hot that Orlando Bloom is checking her out. Howard said they say that they were making out at the after party. Howard said Orlando is a nice guy and he's hitting on Katy Perry. Robin said it's not a good thing if he's hitting on everyone. Tommy said that Taylor Swift does the same thing.
Howard said Jillian Barberie tweeted out a lot of pictures of herself with a bikini on in honor of his birthday.
Howard asked if that was his real mom on the phone. It was. Ray Stern was on the phone to wish him a Happy Birthday. Ray said that she wants to wish him a happy, happy, happy birthday. She said she and dad are thinking about him. She said they love him and wish him the very best. Howard said this is the day he stretched her out. Howard said he was born vaginally. Ray said that's right and laughed. Howard said it was kind of early morning when he came out of her vagina. Ray said he came out very good. She said they're very happy to have him. Howard said she was sedated when he came out. Howard said he came out nose first too. Ray said he comes up with stories. She said that she never said that. Howard said that he had to struggle through the hairs. Ray said he was a beautiful little baby.
Ray asked how his birthday is going. Howard said it's fabulous. Howard said he had Sour Shoes, Kevin Hart and Robin is talking to him too. Howard said Tan Mom was almost there. Ray said she's so proud of him. She said she wanted to be among those to wish him the very best.
Howard asked if it was hard for his dad to satisfy her after giving birth. Ray said he always satisfied her. Howard asked if she's upset that she didn't breast feed him. Ray said she gets up every day and she's sad over that. Howard said maybe he'll start now. Howard said they do say that if a child is breast fed they have a higher IQ than when they're not. Howard said he thinks suckling her would have been a good thing. Ray said she's not sure about that.
Howard asked his mom what he's going to do today. Ray said she has nothing planned. Howard said it sounds like she just wants to get off the phone. Howard said he is happy to be alive despite his neurosis. Howard said he hopes that mom and dad have sex today to celebrate. Howard asked if she remembers the actual time they had sex and got pregnant. Ray said yes and said it was wonderful. Robin said they say that more boys are conceived when an orgasm is done to completion. Howard asked what position she was in. Ray said she doesn't remember. She said this isn't the kind of thing she wants to engage in. She said she called to wish a happy birthday. Howard said most parents will talk about it. Howard said dad told him that it was reverse cowgirl.
Howard thanked his mom for calling in. Ray said that Maureen Powell called and did the same. Howard said he was raised in an all black community and Maureen is a lovely black woman. Howard said she remembers his birthday every year. Ray said she thinks very highly of Howard. Howard said he thinks highly of her too.
Howard asked Ray if she and dad engaged in sexual relations while she was pregnant. Ray said she'll write a book and he can read about it in there. Howard let his mom go a short time later. Howard said that she has to let Maureen know that he said hello.
Howard said he's going to have a meeting there after the show for like 20 hours. He said they have things to take care of. Howard said that he has to go home and prepare for tomorrow's show and then maybe he'll do dinner with his wife. Howard said that he told her he doesn't want to celebrate in any kind of crazy way. Howard said he's past that age. He realized that around the age of 9.
Howard read some email. Howard said some people are upset with their sports conversation yesterday. Robin said she thinks she's taking the side of the guys who continue to support their teams from whatever city. Howard just said ''no.'' He read through some of the email from the fans who were telling him he's wrong. Most of it was all against him and for the guys who stick with their teams from other cities. Howard read a few other emails about other things. One guy asked about the Don Felder ''Hotel California'' they played yesterday. Someone pointed out how hot Jamie Foxx's daughter was at the Golden Globes. Howard had some email about Joey Boots phony phone call and how great that was. Howard said many people liked their David Bowie tribute yesterday too. Howard said one guy was upset with him for not spending more time talking about Lemmy from Motorhead. Howard said he's not as familiar with Motorhead so that's the reason. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said it was nice hearing from his mom. He said he remembers struggling through the hairs down there when he was born. He said he remembers being wet and trying to push through the hairs. He said his mom won't tell him if she was fully shaved or not. Howard said it's very tough to get his mom to talk about this. He said she won't answer him about that. Howard said he has a right to know. Robin said no he doesn't.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who wished him a Happy Birthday. Mariann said that her daughter saw Kevin Hart at Madison Square Garden and he was great. Howard let Mariann go a short time later.
Howard said the story about his mom's hair is that he braided it and swung out like Tarzan. Howard said oddly enough he found one of her hairs in one of his teeth all of these years later.
Howard took a call from Bobo who wanted to wish him a happy birthday. Howard picked up and Bobo did his thing. Bobo said that he goes into depression when he can't hear Howard. Howard said that Bobo was on breaking the news about David Bowie yesterday. Howard said he heard more fucked up shit about Bobo. Howard asked if he went to a flea market and sold autographs. Bobo said that's total BS. He said he was never at a flea market. Howard said he has to play this clip. Howard said Bobo is claiming that this guy is lying about it. Howard said if he finds out it's true he's off the show.
Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to a guy about some photos he saw that Bobo was selling. Howard said he's claiming that Bobo went to a flea market and sold pictures of them and of himself. In the Shuli clip the guy said that Bobo was signing his own stuff to have for inventory. The guy said Bobo was selling photos of himself at this flea market too. The guy said there was no other merchandise for sale.
Bobo said this is bullshit and he didn't do anything like that. Howard said they say that there was a big banner on the side of the road saying that he was making an appearance. Howard asked Shuli if his guy was credible. Shuli said that he had the guy ready to go get pictures but Bobo was kicked out of the flea market. Howard asked how they know it was Bobo. Shuli said this guy saw a sign saying ''Come see cast member of the Howard Stern Show, Bobo.'' Bobo said that they have to produce a picture proving it. Shuli said he has the contact information for the guy who runs the flea market and the guy he talked to said that he was kicked out because of the quality of the stuff he was selling. Shuli said this guy who he talked to had nothing to gain from telling this story. Howard said he thinks that he's guilty.
Howard played a couple of Bobo song parodies. Bobo said there is zero evidence. Bobo said he swears on the life of his children that he wasn't there. He said he would never do something like that. He said everything he has in his shrine right now. Howard said he has to check with his Toupee to find out. He took a call from Bobo's Toupee who said that Bobo did it and he was trying to sell him too but no one wanted him. Howard asked if he had things thrown at his toupee. Bobo's Toupee said that he did have things thrown at him. He said people were making fun of him too.
Shuli said that Bobo did a Periscope the other day and he was giving people tornado dips and he was wearing a crash helmet. Bobo said they had a tornado drill recently. He said that he's afraid of this ''El Knee-No''(El Nino) thing. Shuli said everything he does is from his car. He said he imagines his wife telling him to get the fuck out of the house with that shit.
Howard let Bobo's Toupee go and said it sounds like Bobo is innocent. Bobo said that's not cool to do something like that. He said that will put him over the edge. Shuli said this stuff came out of the blue. He said they're not looking for it. Bobo said they have to check out the story first. Howard said they're just trying to bust someone. He said half the fun is just accusing him of stuff. Bobo said that might put him in the hospital. Bobo said he swears he's telling the truth. Howard said if they find out that he's lying then they'll do a human bukakke thing with his head. Howard said he has to get back to the news. He did a live commercial read first though.
Robin read a story about David Bowie and how he knew he didn't have long to live when he did his Broadway play last month. Robin said that he had known for about a year that he had incurable cancer. Howard said it doesn't sound like a good end. Howard said that video he put out was really tough. Howard said he went to watch it last night. Howard said he watched 5 seconds of it and it was too morbid. He said he couldn't handle more than 5 seconds of it. Robin read what some people are saying about Bowie's death. She had a bunch of quotes from celebrities.
Robin read about how Sean Penn is under scrutiny for meeting with El Chapp. Robin said that the Mexican authorities say that meeting was actually very helpful in finding him. Howard said that they're good if they can figure it out like that. Robin said she's not sure why it took time to capture him after the meeting. Robin said El Chapo wants a movie made about him. That's what got him.
Robin read a story about Al Roker being passed by a taxi cab in New York city and filing a complaint. Robin said the driver has plead guilty to passing on the fare.
Howard read a story about Stephen Baldwin's daughter being out with Justin Bieber. Howard said that young girls have to be careful with that. Howard said they can just end up being a number.
Robin read that the Powerball lottery is now up to $1.4 billion. Robin said that the jackpot boards can't handle a number that big so they just have to list it as 999,999,999. That led to Fred playing a bunch of Sour Shoes ''Noine'' clips. Robin had some audio of a woman talking about how it may be best for people not to win because of all of the publicity you might get. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the State of the Union address that will be on tonight. Robin said that this is Obama's last one while in office. Howard said they're going to have the State of the JD address too. Howard played a clip of an intro for the State of the JD. Howard asked JD to come in with his speech. JD came in and said ''Uhh...'' and said he's not sure he wants all of the things on his list. JD said he wrote some stuff down. Howard told him to read it. JD read about it being his first year with his girlfriend and it's gone great. JD said he went to New Orleans and had some good food. He got a new couch. He said that was big. Howard said this is good. He said he's learning what the state of the JD is. JD said his directorial debut on It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia aired. He said that his sheet problem has been rectified. Howard cut him off saying it was boring. Howard asked him where the web cam girls thing is. JD said it's not in there so don't mention it. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about an explosion in the capital of the country Turkey. Robin read about the terrorist bombing and how 10 people were killed and more were injured. Howard said things are out of control. He said you feel helpless. Robin said that people are telling us that they can make us safe. Howard said he doesn't buy it. Howard said if they get someone who is into law enforcement and tightening up the borders then maybe. Fred kept playing a new clip of Bobo saying ''El knee-no'' while they were talking about that.
Robin read about how Hillary Clinton was on Ellen and learned a new dance move. Robin had some audio from the show where that happened.
Robin read a story about Donald Trump going on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Robin had some clips from that show too.
Howard asked Robin how she's doing over there. Robin said she can make it through the show. She said she is getting a painful cough though. Howard said they have to get her out of there.
Robin read a story about a study that was done about pilots that aren't very hands on these days so they're concerned about the automated systems that are in the planes. Robin said that the pilots may not be experienced enough to handle the plane if the instruments fail.
Robin read about former NBA player Lamar Odom who is avoiding the drug charges from his time at the Bunny Ranch. Howard said they'll have to ask Khloe about that tomorrow when she's in. Robin said she heard that Khloe said he has made a miraculous recovery.
Robin said that Ricky Gervais may return to the Golden Globes next year. Robin said he has been asked back. Robin said that they like what Ricky does. Howard said that's a tough gig. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon asked Matt about what he thinks about Sour Shoes. Matt said that he wondered how they could give Sour Shoes a show. He said that they challenged him to do celebrities that aren't on the show and he can't do as many. Jon said he is sort of limited to radio voices. Jon said that his Gary is magical. He said that he almost verbatim quoted a conversation they had on the show the other day. He said it's amazing. Matt said that it's something special to be able to do a Gary impression. He said it's the details too. He said you wonder how he remembers details like that. He said he has so much in his head and you wonder how he has so much in there. Jon said he has dropped some really obscure stuff and he does it all the time.
Jon said he thinks that Sour is just spouting things he's heard before and they're recreating conversations he's heard. Matt said he probably has a photographic memory to some degree. He said he has to understand politics and stuff to talk about it the way he does. He said he's an idiot savant but not so much an idiot because he understands what he's talking about.
Jon said Sour has issues and you wonder where all of that comes from. Matt said it makes you wonder what happened. Jon said the birthday shows aren't what they were in the past. Jon said they had Sour Shoes in the studio today but the thing that changed the mood was Robin not being 100 percent and Howard showing concern for her. Jon said that he told Robin she's not pacing herself. He said he thinks she's listening to that. Matt said he thinks that we're all more concerned for her.
Jon said that they have a poll up today and Rahsaan has more about that. Rahsaan said they're asking if people agree with Howard about Robin having to rest or not.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks Robin is over doing it. Gary said that he's on Robin's side in this. He said Howard's goal for living long is not doing much and being safe. He said that Robin thinks you're missing a lot of life if you don't do these things. Gary said it's somewhere in the middle that he's at. Gary said he thinks that Robin has calmed down pretty well.
Jon said Howard thinks that Robin shouldn't be traveling at all after what she went through. Jon said that Robin doesn't want to be tied down. Gary said Robin might be looking at it like she just wants to go out and see what she could be missing if she wasn't around.
Jon said that when Robin was sick this show kept her going. Jon said if any of them had to go through what she went through they wouldn't miss just one show. Gary said he thinks he's a big pussy when it comes to that stuff. Gary said he doesn't know if he could do it. He said that he thinks Robin did fucking great and she was very brave. He said that she was just saying she was going to get through it. Jon asked Gary what he would have done. Gary said he imagines crying and trying to get through it all. He said he thinks Robin handled it better than most would.
Gary said that they had a lot of the audience wondering about what was up with Robin. He said he thinks that Robin wanted to make sure she was going to live before she let people in on it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sour Shoes is insane. He said he mentioned things that are so out there. He said it's just insane. Gary said he's more impressed when he recites a call they got and gets the name right and the conversation right. They spent a little more time on that and then went to break.
Jon said they heard the State of the JD today too. Jon said JD gave an update of his life. Jon asked Matt if he thinks JD would have the ability to take the stage at a UCB show or something like that. Matt said he thinks JD has so much fear and self doubt that it wouldn't work. He said he'd have a lot to get over. He should try it if he wants to though. Matt said they are improvising there even if they think they're not. He said that they're all good at it there. Jon said that JD has judged things on the show and he has some ability to give it but he can't take it.
Jon asked how Gary thinks Howard takes his birthday. Gary said it's hard to tell. He said the older you get the less you want to celebrate your birthday. Gary said Howard may not like getting older. He also thinks that Howard likes it to a point but then it gets embarrassing.
Jon asked Matt how he handles it. Matt said when it comes to things like that he doesn't want to be the center of attention. He said every time his birthday rolls around he tell his wife to keep it a secret. Gary said one year he just wants to have a blow out party and that will be it. He said he doesn't think it should be celebrated every year. Gary said he just likes a good party. He said his birthday is a day apart from his wife's so they go out and celebrate just once.
Jon took a call from a guy who wanted to talk about Howard and Robin. He said as Howard has gotten older he's become a caricature of his parents. He said that it's like everybody bothers him. He said that Robin's way of living is great and Howard just likes to curl up at home. He said that he has listened to Howard from day one and he has become nasty and bitter. Gary asked why he's still listening to the show. The caller said he loves to hear it. He said he's not saying he doesn't like it. He's just worried about Howard. Gary said he thinks Howard hasn't changed that much. He said he might just vocalize it more. Matt said he feels that Howard has always been that way and it's a fun thing. Matt said as a half Jew he thinks that's just part of their nature to bitch and moan.
Jon said that Kevin Hart was in today and Howard was looking for something negative that he feels and he wasn't able to find it. He said it's hard to be that way. Gary said you could hear Kevin telling Howard there is nothing there. Gary said Howard thinks there's always something there. Gary said Howard seems to think there is always someone to blame.
Matt asked if Kevin's comedy is that way. He said that comedians look for negative stuff to comment on. Gary said Kevin said that most comedians are dark but you won't find that in him. They went to break after that.
Jon said High Pitch Eric called in to wish Howard a happy birthday. He said they're hoping he can pull it together. Jon said they were talking about funerals and which ones they'd attend. Jon asked if Howard should attend any. Gary said it would be hard because it would cause a spectacle. Gary said he's not sure. He said he's known Fred the Elephant Boy longer than his wife. He said he's been through so much with Fred. He said he likes the guy and he has a relationship of sorts with him. He said he will be at his funeral. Gary said that Elephant Boy was in the Wack Pack when there were only 5 members. Matt asked if he would go to Crackhead Bob's funeral. Gary said he wouldn't go to Texas but he does have a tattoo of him on his arm so he might have to go.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they have to cancel that last caller's subscription. He said Howard is a curmudgeon but that's what makes Howard, Howard. Gary said that Howard complains louder now but he's been the same way as long as he knows him.
Jon asked how great it was when Howard's mom called in. Gary said it was so great. He said he picked up on her in the office to make sure it was her. He said that it was so nice to hear her voice.
Gary said what Howard would do is make statements about things that used to go on and his mom would pretend that she didn't hear him. He said they did some of that today. Matt said she didn't acknowledge the hairy bush stuff at all.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that High Pitch Eric seems to be more aware of how stupid he is now. He said that he almost fell off his chair when he heard some of the stuff he said today. He said he thinks they should have a survivor kind of thing and just see who makes it the longest. Gary said for the most part the Wack Pack finds them. He said either that or the listeners find them and bring them to the show. Matt said he would like to hear a Jeopardy with the dull Wack Packers or something. Gary said he was pointing out that Wendy is a 60 and Eric is a 64 and he was wondering if Eric could crush her in a competition. He said Wendy is good at manipulating people too.
Jon asked Gary about the Are You Smarter than a Gorilla thing came up did he offer to do it. Gary said someone said that they should dress someone up as a gorilla and go in and have that competition. Gary said he would get in that outfit an do it but only for that competition.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They wrapped up around 11:55am.
Howard started the show singing along to his opening theme song ''Great American Nightmare'' for a short time. Howard said Robin isn't the only one who sings around there. He said he heard the duets she did with JD and she did a good job with them. Howard asked how she's doing today. Robin said she's feeling better than yesterday. Howard told her to take it easy and don't do so much.
Howard asked how many takes it took to do the JD songs. Robin asked where JD is. JD was on his microphone. Howard found the songs and played some of them. He said he thought they were great. Howard said Robin was the only one with any energy in that session. JD said he wasn't there. Howard said he didn't have to be. He can hear it. Howard played one where Robin and JD sang ''Don't Go Breaking My Heart'' together. Howard asked if that's the only one he approved. Gary said it was the only one. Howard said that was his fave.
Howard said he's kind of freaked out. He said that Jon Hein gave him an article about how Howie Mandel, Mel B and Heidi Klum are returning to America's Got Talent this season. Howard said that surprised him. He said he knows they wanted to return but he can say that he's thrown by it because he's usually pretty good at knowing what's happening. Howard said he doesn't want to look like he's being a dick wad saying what he knows. Howard said he will just say he's happy they're returning. Howard said he thinks NBC said Simon would look like an asshole if he got rid of all of them. Howard said he kind of knows a lot about the NBC executives and how they feel. Howard said it just threw him but he's happy for them. Howard said he has talked to Robin about what was going to go down there so she knows. Howard said that they all love the show so good for them. Robin said Mel does this all over the world. Howard said that's right. Howard said Heidi is just happy. He said she's a happy person in general. Robin said she's glad they're coming back.
Howard said it seems like everything in this country is so weird right now. Howard said Trump being number 1 in the polls rocks the foundation. Howard said on the democrat side Bernie Sanders is beating Hillary in the polls. Howard said that Hillary says she's not freaking out but she's got to be. Howard said Obama beat the pants off of her. He said now a liberal Jew from Vermont is beating her. Howard said it throws the whole thing off. Howard said it's like the America's Got Talent judging panel. He said it's like ''What? Simon let them come back?'' Howard said he'd love to write a story about what goes on behind the scenes at these shows. Howard said Hillary can't believe what's going on here. He said that Bernie isn't just a Jew from Vermont, he looks like Bernie Sanders. Howard said he was slapped a yarmulke. Howard said he knows.
Howard asked the guys to try to get Bernie on the phone. Howard said he'll talk to them if he's not too busy. Howard said they have an inside hotline for Bernie. Gary said he's getting him on the line now. Howard said High Pitch Eric is wondering how they get him on the line so quick. Howard said yesterday was so great with Eric when they found out he's a moron and not even just dull. He said he's feeble. Howard said that he's not saying that to be mean. He's just saying what they found out.
Gary said he has Bernie on the phone. Howard picked up on Fake Bernie. Howard then went through the script he had to have the conversation with the pre-recorded audio clips. Howard talked to fake Bernie about North Korea and the hydrogen bomb. Bernie said he doesn't care about that because he'll be dead by the time they have it. Howard also talked to Bernie about wealthy and equality being a big deal in his campaign.
Howard asked Bernie how he'll solve the problem in the middle east. Bernie said he's just going to give the Palestinians the state of Arkansas. Howard asked if he has any skeletons in his closet they have to worry about. Bernie said there's no worry about him having a sex scandal. He said the last time he ejaculated was when there were still separate water fountains for the blacks. Howard let fake Bernie go after that. The guys kept playing Bernie saying goodbye.
Howard asked Robin if she's a Bernie Sanders fan. Robin said she is. Howard said that Donald Trump loves him and he thinks that he'd let him do anything he wants with him. Howard said he has had 45 minute conversations with Trump and he asks him why he wants to go through all of this. Howard said he really does want to make America great again. Howard said it might be too late already. He said that he saw in the paper that our Navy was pulled over by the Iranian Navy. Howard said that he can't believe they got their hands on their boys. Howard said the war would have broken out already if he was President. Howard said heads would roll.
Howard said he got some loving for his birthday yesterday. Howard said Beth was snuggling with him and he just went for it last night. Howard asked Robin if she would join in on that. Robin said no. Howard said that would be great.
Howard did an Obama impression and talked to him about the sailors getting stopped by the Iranian Navy. Howard and Obama were talking about how we look like assholes when that happens. He said we should blow those fuckers up. Howard said that it's the Iranian Navy. Howard asked how the Iranian Navy even spots our guys. Howard said they have to be the worst navy on the planet. Robin said obviously not. Howard said this is getting him nervous. Robin said you have to ask who is running our navy. Robin asked how this even happened. Howard said they have to get Ray Kelly to run the Navy. Howard said he doesn't fuck around. Howard said this sounds like the plot of a Seth Rogen movie. Howard had a conversation with Seth Rogen clips about that.
Howard said Benjy got him a gift too. Howard said he got on his good side with that. Benjy said it wasn't that incredible. It was a bottle of wine and some fruit. Howard said everyone thought of him but Robin. Howard said Robin is the only one who didn't. Howard asked Benjy if he touched the fruit at all. Benjy said no. Howard said that's good. He said he did find hairs from his beard in there.
Howard said Earl Bailey did a tribute to him on his radio show. Howard said he told Gary to never show him what that guy looks like. He said he has an image in his mind and he doesn't want that being spoiled. Howard said he used to listen to Jim Kerr as a kid and you think he's like The Rock or something. Then the station put him in a commercial and he was shocked when he saw the guy. Robin said she had that when she was growing up and saw a radio guy.
Howard said if he had a voice like Earl Bailey he'd be able to just be an announcer and not have to do funny stuff. Howard did an impression of Bailey for a short time. Robin asked what he did on his show. Howard said it was a very nice thing. Howard said he kept saying his age over and over again though. He said his agent has told him no more of that.
Howard played the Earl Bailey clip where he mentioned him. Howard was doing his impression of the guy. He said he has to watch that guy work. Howard said he thinks he has something in his mouth. Howard said Earl knows his music. He said Meg Griffin would be into that. Howard said he could never fuck Meg because he didn't know music like she did. Howard did more of his Earl Bailey voice and had him messing around with Meg. Howard played more of the clip and Earl mentioned Howard's age of 62.
Howard said that he went out to Nobu for dinner last night with his wife. Howard said they ran into Robert De Niro's wife Grace and she's delightful. Howard said she was so gracious. Howard said she was talking to him about his birthday and how he looks wonderful. Howard said he told her he can't believe he's entering his 40s. Howard said that she said he looks younger. Howard said he told her that his wife is older than he is.
Howard played more of the Earl Bailey clip and Earl was doing a whole tribute to him talking about what he's done in his career. Howard said it's a whole long thing. Howard played a few more seconds of that clip. Howard said Earl played a bunch of obscure songs. He said Meg would have loved that.
Howard said he had a list of the songs he was playing. Howard said he didn't know one of the songs that he played. He said he's a fan of Buzzy Linhart but he doesn't know the song he played. Howard said if you're listening to that station you're the only one. Howard said that Earl is able to go free form over there on his channel. Howard said he spent his time doing a tribute to him. Fred found the Buzzy Linhart song that he mentioned. Howard asked if it was a tuning session or something. Howard said he loves anything Buzzy does but it sounds like a demo. Howard said they play anything they want over there. Howard said Earl was doing his thing. He played more of Earl talking about his birthday. Howard said he's not even sure what he said. He said he's just lost in that voice of his.
Howard said he used to listen to Earl when he was at stations out on Long Island. Robin said his photos all look like mug shots. Howard did more of his impression of Earl and played little bits of his tribute to him. Earl talked about what Howard was doing at WNBC when he was at another station. Howard said it was like he was an occupier at NBC. He said that's how they viewed him over there.
Howard did more of his Earl impression and talked about the songs that he played. Howard said he had every Buzzy Linhart record and he never heard of this song he played. Howard created a conversation between Earl and Meg where they talked about the obscure songs they play. Robin said Meg never thought to do a tribute to him. Howard said Meg probably can't believe that he's still on radio.
Howard played the Buzzy Linhart song and listened to that for a few seconds. He said there's a whole crew of DJs where the whole thing is knowing obscure music and going to clubs to talk about it. Howard said Meg was on the Wrap Up Show and she talked about how he wasn't into it like she was. Howard said he was going home to go to bed instead of going to the clubs. Howard said he was trying to get something going. He said he was always a recluse. Howard said no one ever invited him anyway.
Howard read more of the songs that Earl was playing on his show. Howard wondered who is listening to him. Howard said when he worked at WRNW and he played a song people knew then you were a douche. Fred played another song that Earl played. He was playing any song with the word ''talk'' in it. Howard said no one could have been listening to this. Howard went through some more songs that Earl played. Howard said if you played a song around Meg that anyone knew then you were a douche. Howard said that's why they put him on in the morning. He said he was playing hits. Howard said it was like being in the bizzaro world. He said he was playing songs that people wanted to hear. He said no one listened to that station. Howard said that no one ever complained about the public affairs shows that he'd play. He said he'd play the same thing week after week and no one complained.
Howard said he'd hear the DJs there talking about the songs they were playing. He said that Earl could handle Meg. He said that he'd know the same kind of songs she knew. Howard said it was very nice of Earl to do that for him. He said he doesn't believe that he really likes that music he plays.
Howard played another clip of Earl talking about their careers. Earl said Howard was always kind to him even when they were competing in Philadelphia. Howard said he likes Earl. Howard had Earl talking to Robin about his big cock and his obscure music. He was doing his deep Earl voice and talking about how he should eventually just make sounds with his voice instead of talking. Howard said that he'll hear him in the shower and that's what it sounds like. He said it's just deep sounds.
Howard played another clip where Earl was talking about his own career. Howard said that was a big tribute to him that he's sure no one heard. Robin said the whole organization should have been doing a tribute to Howard. Howard said it was just Earl Bailey. Howard thanked Earl for doing that. Howard read more of the songs that Earl was playing during the tribute. Howard said he played King Crimson ''I Talk to the Wind'' and said that's the last song you want to hear from them. He said it's the song you skip over to hear ''In the Court of the Crimson King''. Robin wanted to hear the song so Fred played it. Howard laughed when he heard it. Howard said you'll never hear that song there ever again. He said he's the only one playing it.
Howard said when he worked with these guys he would go on and play a Beatles song that people knew and he was a douche. Howard said he moved to other stations and he wasn't a douche because that's what everyone else was playing. Howard said that you have to play a song someone has heard of at some point. Howard said this is his tribute. Howard played more of that awful song. Robin said this is every bad soundtrack from the 70s. Howard said this might be multiple songs over one another. Howard said he wants a redo on his tribute. He said here is no way that anyone on the planet wanted to hear that song yesterday. He said that if he were in prison and there was no such thing as music he wouldn't want to hear this. Howard said he guarantees that Meg consulted on his tribute. Howard said it's impossible to want to live through this song. He said if all music ended and this was the only song he still wouldn't listen to this song.
Howard played more of Earl's tribute and laughed at it. He was talking about his own jobs that he took and where Howard was working at the same time.
Howard read more of the songs that were played in the tribute. Howard didn't recognize a Stephen Stills song that was played. Howard said he knows everything he does and he doesn't know this one. Howard played it and it was actually a good song. Howard said this is one that people would want to hear. Howard said Earl slipped that one in. He said he's never heard this track so it is obscure. Howard said it fits into the whole thing. Howard said it's not his greatest moment though. Howard said at least Earl put out an effort. Howard said he did what the channel is about and kept it obscure. Howard said he was listening to the tribute and threw the radio into the tub and killed himself. Howard said he's honored that Earl would honor him with those beautiful tones.
Howard said he's not sure if he could make it through that King Crimson song on his own if he wasn't playing it there. He didn't think so. Howard asked Fred to find more of the tracks that were on the list. He found another one and played it. It was a song called ''Talk, Talk.'' Howard said this is the shit they play over there. Howard said that's something. Howard said he can't believe that wasn't a hit. They went to break a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he thinks about Jewel dating an NFL quarterback. Howard said Jewel is hot. He said her body is exquisite. Howard said that she sings and she gives off such a friendly vibe that it makes him think that he could have fucked her. Howard said she's too good for him though. Howard said she's not going to do that. Howard said he may have to ask her if she would have fucked him if he was single.
Howard asked what quarterback she's dating. The caller said he's on the Cardinals or something. Gary said he's a back up for the Colts. Fred said he's mostly a back up. Howard said that's even more appealing to Jewel. She can have a guy spend more time with her. Howard said she's an artist so she needs attention. The caller said he doesn't have to worry about the game as much since he's not a starter.
Howard imagined what it's like when you start dating her and you get to that night when she's finally going to have sex. Howard said you've already fingered her but now it's time to fuck. Howard said you're out at some function and she wasn't quite sure but now she's ready. Howard said the green light goes and she's fully nude writhing around. Howard said she's moaning and he's moaning with the radio on and Earl Bailey doing a tribute playing a King Crimson ''Talk to the Wind'' song. Howard said just imagine her breasts and ''vagine''.
The caller asked how many times he thinks that guy had to beat off. Howard said probably 2 times. Howard said he had to beat off the day before his birthday just to make sure he could last with Beth yesterday. He said that he had a feeling he might get something so he beat off the day before.
Howard talked about how Jewel is into those kind of men who are really rugged. Howard said she should be into more feminine men like him. Howard said that guy probably gets a lot of pussy. He said these real men burn out quick.
Howard said they love Jewel there on the show. Howard said she has to bring him in so he can vet him. Howard said if he was dating Jewel he'd just wonder when she'd give him a personal concert. Howard said he has to go and let the caller go. Fred played that King Crimson song again. Howard asked Robin if he can borrow a knife so he can slit his wrists. Howard said he can't take it.
Howard played a prank call the guys made to an internet radio show where they had a fake Ben Carson talk to the host. They had fake Ben speaking in tongues about Donald Trump. The host freaked out when he mentioned his big, black cock. Then the host took another call and it was Fake Ben again. He hung up and saw another call where the number was all 1s. The host was all flustered over that. He took the call and it was Fake Ben again. The guy sounded like he was having a breakdown over it. They went to break after that.
Howard said David Crosby just tweeted that he might do an interview with Crosby, stills and Nash if Howard did the interview. Howard said he said he would do it if he had a ref jersey and whistle.
Howard said there's a whole stand off at some park with a group of militia guys. Howard said they're waiting for the government to come in and take them away. Howard said it all started off with ranchers wanting to ranch on government owned land and then they burned it or something. Howard said the guys are all asking for Amazon Wishlist stuff. Howard said one of the guys went on Periscope and showed that people are sending them dildos. Howard said the guy was yelling about it and you know what that does. Howard read about it and said they're getting dildos and a bag of dicks from people.
Howard said there's some building that the government owns or something that they took over. Benjy said he thinks they're just using it as their base. Howard said Benjy should have gone with them out there. Howard said Benjy isn't manly enough though. Benjy said he can handle himself in the woods.
Howard said President Obama had a State of the Union address last night. Howard played some clips of a Fake Obama wishing Howard a happy birthday at he State of the Union. Fake Obama also said that he's going to do whatever the fuck he wants for the rest of the time he's in office.
Howard played a clip of fake Obama lighting his fart on fire. He had a clip of him talking about how Nancy Pilosi's face makes his penis want to kill itself. Obama said if we lower the thermostat we save energy and get to see Robin Quivers' nipples.
Howard said a couple days ago he introduced Bailey the Bedbug on the show. He said Scott was quite taken with himself over that. He said Scott pitched the idea to the guys and they had him produce a bit. Howard said they knew it would be a disaster. Howard said he played it and it was awful. Howard said they say that Scott is very excited that it got on the air though. Howard said Scott even created a Twitter account for Bailey. Howard said Bailey went back and recorded a voicemail for Bailey. Howard played that and said it's so bad and boring. Howard said it's an amazing .
Howard said they cut up Scott's bit and called a show they've called before called ''Live with Kathy.'' Howard played the clip and they had one of the guys call in as Ralph Cirella and he said his uncle had something he wanted to say as his character Bailey the Bedbug. They had Bailey telling her some stuff she didn't want to hear. She hung up on them but they called back with more clips. She had to hang up again. Kathy said that she won't put them on the air again. They called back and got through again. Kathy told him to get a life. They called back a couple more times.
Howard said she's like American Royalty with that affect on her voice. Howard said she's like Catherine Hepburn. Howard said when they used to make calls they'd call people at their homes but now they're on the internet. Howard said they turned Scott's shit into gold with that. Robin said without Scott's bit they wouldn't have been able to make that call. Howard played a song parody about Scott's bit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a fan of Bailey. Howard said Scott has one friend in the world and it's Bailey the Bedbug. Robin said now he has to keep making bad bits so he'll keep playing them. Howard did his Scott impression and had Scott talking about that. Fred did his Scott voice too.
Howard said that Pacman Jones was on with Dan Patrick talking about the Browns and how he thought the guy who was injured was faking it. Howard played a clip of Jones talking about how he needs an Grammy for that performance. Dan corrected him and said that maybe they should give him an Academy Award.
Howard asked if they should take a break. Fred said they could wait 10 minutes or so. Howard said that Khloe is coming in though. He said he doesn't want to clash with that. Howard played that awful King Crimson song and then went to break.
Howard came back and asked if Robin was singing through that. Fred said she was. Howard said he wished he had heard that. Howard said Khloe Kardashian is there. Howard said she had a scare on the way there. Howard said her flight had to make an emergency landing. Howard said Khloe looks amazing. He asked if she has 40 million Instagram followers. She said it's 39.7 million. She said it's amazing. Khloe said that she has about 18 million on Twitter.
Howard said he follows Us Magazine on Twitter and he saw her showing her tits and ass for them. Khloe said she did a photo shoot just for fun. Howard said she has an amazing body. Khloe said she worked hard for it. She said she was the fat one but now she's not. Howard said everyone was goofing on her and now she's the hot one. Khloe said that she has been compared to her sisters and even in their awkward phases they weren't that awkward. Khloe said she had one for a very long time. Howard asked if she had low self esteem. Khloe said surprisingly not. She said she never felt fat. She said she never thought that. She said looking back she sees how unhealthy she was but she was never fat.
Howard said that when Khloe married Lamar she moved to Dallas. Khloe said they were in L.A. for 3 years and only in Dallas for 6 months. Howard said she's really attached to her sisters and mom. Khloe said the move was very hard for her. She said she was away for the holidays and it was really tough for her. She said it was a huge deal for her. Khloe said she tried to get along with the wives but not all of them were accepting of her. She said she didn't have her security blanket of her sisters to go to the games with her.
Howard asked Khloe about hitting the gym and asked what she was doing. Khloe said she was doing a lot of cardio. She said she had nothing else to do so she just worked out. She said Lamar was on the road so she'd watch TV and do the work out. She said that it all paid off.
Howard asked how long it took to start looking really good. Khloe said she was working out for a long time and it didn't seem to be working. She said it took at least 6 months until she really noticed. Khloe said she didn't want to take on everything too soon. She said she worked up to doing 4-5 days a week and it took a while to get to that. Howard said she got really fucking hot. Howard said he thinks she's more relateable because she wasn't always hot and she worked her way up to it. Howard said she has some humility. Khloe said she appreciates the hard work it takes to have a good body. She said sometimes you don't appreciate it. Howard asked if she has had a boob job. Khloe said no but she wants one. Howard told her not to get one. Howard said she looks great in the pictures he saw. Khloe said that she wants cleavage. She said she could get a boob job and have them removed some day. She said she wants them now.
Howard asked Khloe about Lamar Odom. He said she was married to him and she got hotter and hotter so you'd think he'd be more into her. Khloe said love is blind. She said he was so great at making her feel like she was the only one that she never speculated cheating. Howard asked when she figured it out and how she did. Khloe said he was so good. She said he had nothing on his phone. He had it on his assistant's phone. She said she was pissed at the assistant for that. Khloe said that there were rumors in the weeklys and something had to be going on based on that. She said where there's smoke there's fire. She said one girl did an interview and she was so adamant that she was suspicious. She said this was when he was plying for the Clippers in his last season.
Howard asked if she was wondering about it being sex. She said she'd do anything for her husband. She said she's blown away by how he fit it into his schedule. Howard said that's the thing. He said it's like an obsession. Howard said it's got to be humiliating for her. Khloe said he was cheating on her through their whole marriage. She said they do love each other and she has asked why he did it. She said he struggled with substance abuse and maybe he has a sex addiction. She said she's not sure she believes in that sex addition that much though.
Howard said getting married a month after meeting someone is crazy. She said she wouldn't change it. She said she needed that experience for herself. She said the love she received is what she needed at the time. Khloe said her family all told her she was nuts. She said that it was just 9 days after they met that they were talking about getting married. She said she doesn't regret doing it but she's not sure she would do it again. Khloe said that he's not a bad person. She said that he did some things but that doesn't mean he's a bad person.
Howard asked Khloe if she hates Lamar. Khloe said she loves him. She said that he has had a fucked up deck of cards thrown at him in his life. She said it's still coming at him. She said that you can't fix everything and love isn't always enough.
Howard said Khloe must be in the best shape of her life. Khloe said she thinks so. Howard said he has seen the pictures. He said he's sure she is. Howard said that Khloe and Lamar were going through a divorce and she was in change of his health care when he was in a coma. Howard asked if he asked her to take him back. Khloe said no. She said when he first woke up out of the coma he was way more aware. She said that he regressed greatly when they moved to L.A. She said that he woke up and he was talking like he woke up out of a nap. She said Kim asked him how hot Khloe is. She said that she's so funny. Howard said he thinks that helped him wake up.
Howard said this is some story. He said she could have pulled the plug on Lamar. She said she could have because he was on life support. She said that her intentions are in his best interests. She said that she's going to do what she can for him.
Howard said that she was able to keep Lamar's father away from him and he was upset about that. Khloe said that Joe is his father. She said she knows their relationship and Joe has his own problems. She said she flew Joe out to see his son. She said once they moved Lamar to L.A. they had to keep the room sterile. She said it was like 2 weeks that they had to keep visitors out. She said that they told Joe why they had to do that. She said he blamed her for not being able to see Lamar. Khloe said she's used to being blamed like that. She said once Lamar got better he had control over who he wanted to see and he didn't want to see Joe himself. Khloe said she doesn't have that control once Lamar came out of it.
Howard asked if Lamar is really doing better now. Khloe said that he is out of the hospital now. Howard asked if it was the herbal Viagra. She said she thinks that it was a mix of things. Howard said that he doesn't even know what herbal Viagra is. Khloe said if you're doing all of that other stuff you may need that. She said that they may have sold that at the brothel. Howard said he must be able to get pussy on his own. Khloe said that's what she was wondering. She said that he can do what he wants but she told him to just pay someone privately if he has to pay. Howard said some place like that is going to leak out that information.
Khloe said that Lamar doesn't even know what happened. She said that she found him Googling it one day on the iPad and she took it away from him. She said she's trying to protect him from knowing what all happened.
Howard asked if she was scared once she found out he was at a brothel. Khloe said that once she found out he was at a brothel she got checked for STDs and she's fine. She said she has nothing. She said that she asked if he was using condoms and he said he didn't remember. Khloe said when you're high you don't have strong swimmers and that's probably why she didn't get pregnant.
Howard asked if she's dating another NBA guy. Khloe said she is. She said she is athletic now and she likes athletes. She said she likes being active. Howard said maybe she should try dating someone other than an NBA player. She said that she's dating James Harden now. She said that she met him at a party Kim threw Kanye. She said that a bunch of people were playing basketball at the party and she met him there.
Howard asked if she heard racist stuff dating a black guy. Khloe said it wasn't a big deal until she moved to Dallas. She said that's where she realized how racist people still are. Howard said it's amazing how she's keeping everything going. Howard said that Paris Hilton has kind of faded away but the Kardashian empire has thrived. Howard asked what the secret is. Khloe said that they have a lot of people in the family and they are all motivated. She said that they have their cards out on the table and it is what it is.
Howard asked Khloe about the whole Caitlyn thing and if she thought about it being a gold mine. Howard said that it's a great story line. He said they must think about how that can be a story for the next 2 years. Howard said she's in a weird world. Khloe said it's a fucked up world. She said they felt betrayed. Khloe said they believed whatever Bruce said. She said that the tabloids had stories and Bruce would deny it. She said that they were hearing all of this stuff and he wasn't telling them.
Khloe said they learned about the transition thing when they heard he was going to have a show about it. She said they had no cameras rolling and they asked him about it. She said eventually he only wanted to talk to them on camera. Howard said it's more real off camera. Howard said he gets that too. Khloe said that they were wondering why business people knew and the family didn't know. Howard said there must be a private thing where they get together and talk. She said that she thinks that they should have talked about it off camera. She said he did have private talks with them later.
Howard asked if Khloe is okay with her mom dating. She said she is now. She said that her boyfriend is very nice. She said the whole thing was weird at one point but it's fine now. Howard said it must be weird when your mom is running around in a bathing suit all the time. Howard asked if it's strange for her. Khloe said it's not so much now. She said that she's happy for her mom.
Howard asked about guessing that Bruce was dressing in women's clothing. Khloe said that she had an inkling about it early on. Howard said this is the craziest story. He said Bruce Jenner is now a woman. Khloe said it really is crazy. She said that there were stories about him being a cross dresser but they never thought that would happen.
Howard said he was watching the Diane Sawyer interview and Khloe learned more from that than from Bruce. Khloe said they watched it with him. She said that's when they heard a lot of those things. She said they didn't even know about the interview until it was done. She said they found out about the transitioning thing on their show.
Howard said they said in the special that Bruce had been taking hormones to get boobs. Howard said maybe he had titties for a while. Khloe said she thinks that was before he married their mom. Khloe said she has never seen boobs before.
Howard said Khloe took the news the hardest. Howard said that the PC thing to do would be to just say you get it and go along with it. Howard said it can't be that easy. Khloe said that she just wanted him to stop lying about things. She said that she wanted to lay it out on the table and get everything out. She said they weren't sure when he was going to start dressing as Caitlyn. She said she thinks that he knew but didn't tell them.
Howard said Khloe has a new show and it's called Kocktails with Khloe. She said it's not on E! though. She said it's on FYI. Khloe said that she is pretty much naked in the show drinking. She said she's not wearing a bra today. Howard asked why she wants implants when they look that good. Khloe said that she just does. Howard said he's not seeing nip. She said that they're just not excited. Howard asked if she's shaved down there. Khloe said she has a landing strip. She said she does laser down there. Howard said the hair grows back though, right? She said she has only done it 3 times and it's torture so don't tell her that. Howard said his wife did that and it grew back. Khloe said she gets it taken off her legs too. She said she doesn't shave that much.
Howard said that she has a book out called ''Strong Looks Better Naked'' too.
Howard asked if she has a beautiful vagina. Khloe said she thinks so. She said it's a puffy puss. Howard said that you don't see a lot of meat then. Khloe said some girls can wear leggings and you don't see anything. She said she's not like that.
Howard asked if Caitlyn has a penis. Khloe said she doesn't ask. Howard said there's a rumor that she might go back to being a man. Khloe said she's not sure about that. She said this can't happen. Howard said he's read that it's too tough on her. Khloe said being a girl is brutal. Howard said if he could look like Bruce, as a man, it would be mind blowing. Khloe said his son Brody looks like he did as a young man.
Howard asked how committed Caitlyn is to cutting her cock off. Khloe said she thinks that it's 85 percent yes. She said that's totally speculation though. She said she wishes she had a cock sometimes. Howard asked what she would do if she gave her cock to Chaz Bono. Robin said you can't do that. Howard said that would be awesome though. Howard said they invert the penis into a vagina. Khloe said it's a puffy puss. She said her puffy puss is real though.
Howard asked how you get rid of camel toe. Khloe said she'll wear spanx and it smooths things out down there. Howard asked if she's ever shown her puss getting out of a car. Khloe said she hasn't. She said you'll never see that.
Howard asked if Khloe ever gets aggravated with the cameras. Khloe said that it's not so bad now. She said that the crews have been with them since the start so they have a relationship. Howard asked how often they're with them. Khloe said it can be up to 6 days a week and 12-16 hours a day. She said that it's tough when they're filming for a season.
Howard said he still can't figure out the Lamar thing at the brothel. Howard said that it's weird. Howard asked if he's the best sex she's ever had. Khloe said yeah. She said that it was everything together. She said it was the emotional connection too. Khloe said that she doesn't want anyone with a tiny dick but you don't need a big one. She said that if you know what you're doing then you can do the right thing. Howard said he's not good at any of that. Howard said his wife just puts up with him. Howard said he doesn't know how to go down on you or use his hands. Khloe said being funny is a good thing.
Howard said that it's an elite group that gets into Khloe's pants. Howard asked if she's ever had a guy who was too small. Khloe said that she hasn't gone that far. She said she has made out with a guy and she didn't feel much of anything so she just ended the night. Howard asked if it was Simon Cowell. She said she can't say. Howard asked what it was like doing the X-Factor with Simon. Khloe said the show was cool but she had never done live TV before and it was scary. She said that someone is counting down in her ear and it was too much for her to learn so quickly.
Howard asked Khloe about the new TV show and if she had to bring it to E! first. She said she is legally obligated to do that. She said that they passed on it. Howard said she must be good at sex. Khloe said she has DSLs so of course she is. Howard didn't know that DSL stood for Dick Sucking Lips. Howard said that she does have big lips. Howard said that they are big. Khloe said she does a laser thing that plumps them up. She said she loves lasers. Howard said they look good and he thinks he loves lasers too. Howard said she should teach Robin how to do that. Howard said he has GEL. Gefilte fish Eating Lips.
Khloe told Howard about some friends she has who are spinners. Howard didn't know what that meant either. She said that they spin on a dick. She said that they talk about how to give blow jobs and things like that. Khloe said that the secret to a great blow job is saliva and using your hand.
Howard asked Khloe if she can hook Robin up with an NBA player. Robin said she's not into NBA players. Howard said she could have banged Dennis Rodman. Khloe said a lot of people could have banged Dennis.
Howard said that E! turns down her TV show Kocktails with Khloe. Howard said that takes balls for them to turn it down. Khloe said that she said if they snooze they lose. She said that she's not sure if she can say this but when they did their contracts FYI was a non existing network at the time. She said that they thought that she couldn't go anywhere else but it's a new network so she can go there. She said they're treating her right over there. Howard asked if they're even on any cable or anything. Khloe said they're on DirecTV.
Howard asked if Khloe was upset with Amy Schumer for what she said about her on Saturday Night Live. Khloe said she is because she's supposed to be a relateable person. She said she doesn't know exactly what she said. Howard had the clip so she played the clip and Amy was talking about how they used to have Khloe to relate to but she lost a whole Kendall worth of weight. Khloe said that it wasn't as bad as she thought it was. She said she's really not mad at her. Khloe said she worked for 3 fucking years to get to where she is. Khloe asked who Amy is talking about when she says ''we lost Khloe.'' She said that she's not sure what that's about.
Howard asked who she's working with. Khloe said she is working with gunner Peterson. She said he's getting her into shape. Howard asked if she would ever date a white guy. Khloe said she hasn't been with one yet but she can't say never. She said that she has a type she likes. She lost her virginity to a black man. Howard asked when she realized she only wanted a black man. She said she lost her virginity at 14 or 15 so it was early on.
Howard asked Khloe about the TV show again and found out who is on it with her. Khloe said that the guest list is mute for the moment. She said that she was instructed to do that. Howard asked who told her to do that. She said that's what FYI wants. Howard asked if the FYI people are there with her. She said they're not. Howard asked if they're retarded. Khloe said they start shooting on Monday so maybe that's why they don't want her announcing yet.
Howard asked about her flight and what happened with that. Khloe said that she was flying commercial and they had an electrical fire issue. She said they were in the sky. She said she was in first class and they saw some smoke and it smelled really bad. She said that the stewardess told them they were going to land. She said they said on the loudspeaker that they were going to land and it wasn't a big deal. Howard asked if she was wearing panties on the plane. Khloe said that she was because she was wearing jeans and you don't want them going up there. She said FYI sent her a private plane to take from Vegas to New York to get there. Khloe said that she was on a flight with Liev Schreiber. Howard said that he's so good in Spotlight. Khloe said he was very nice. Howard asked if she can imagine getting off with him. Khloe said she really doesn't know. She said she is attracted to him. She said she doesn't think about married men like that. Howard wondered if she could bang Brad Pitt. Khloe said she really doesn't know but she could try.
Howard asked about Khloe's mom being their agent and how she takes 10 percent of their money. Howard said that must be weird. Khloe said that she's their manager so that's what she gets. She said it's like Howard buying his mother a house or something.
Howard said that he thinks Khloe is hotter than her sisters. Khloe said that he might not say that if they were there with her. Howard said he thinks she is hotter.
Howard asked Lamar taking Khloe to family functions and if she gets the evil eye from the women there. Khloe said she did. She said that they'll tell her to stick to her own race and they'll ask her why she's taking one of the good ones. Howard asked if Khloe likes anal. She said it depends. Howard asked if it hurts. She said it can.
Howard took a call from Ralph Cirella who asked if she would do The Bachelorette if they were all black guys on the show. Khloe said she doesn't think so. She said she just doesn't need that. Ralph said that JD thinks this family doesn't deserve the fame they have but they have opened their lives up to people and that's not easy.
Howard said Khloe has said it all. Howard said he thinks they covered it all. Howard said they talked about her TV show and the book. Howard said he might have to watch this show. Howard said he wants to see the spinners on the show. Howard asked what their names are. She said it's Malika and Kadeshia. Howard asked if they're black. Khloe said they are. Howard asked if there are any white people in her life. Khloe laughed.
Howard asked if Lamar is doing well. Khloe said that he's in bad shape but he's getting better. She said that he's walking and he's working on getting better. Howard said he thought he was a goner. Khloe said the fact that he was an athlete probably saved his life. Howard asked if she gets hit on a lot. Khloe said she's not sure. She said she's very chatty. She said that white guys might be intimidated by her. Howard said if he was single he'd have her in his bed. Khloe said he just said he has a teeny weenie. Howard said he does.
Khloe said she had Popeye's Chicken last night. Howard said she really does the black thing all out. Khloe said that it's the best. Howard said it really is good. Khloe said that she got yelled at for posting a picture of Popeye's on her Instagram account. She said that she's not sure why people would think that's racist to go to Popeye's. Howard asked if she goes to black church. She said no but she has been. Howard asked if she sings gospel songs. She said no but she probably can.
Howard asked what kind of music she listens to. Khloe said she likes R&B and things like that. Howard said that's what he figured. Howard asked if she can swim. Khloe said yes. Howard said he just wants to see how far she's taken it. Howard asked if she likes Tyler Perry. Khloe said she does. She asked who doesn't.
Howard said he would love to see her in a photo shoot with Rihanna. Howard asked if she has any cellulite on her ass. She said she does on the back of her thigh. Howard asked why. She said she still has weight to lose. She said they're not perfect. Howard said he has cellulite. Howard said if he was with her he would back out of the room.
Howard gave Khloe some plugs for her TV show on FYI and for the book. Howard said the FYI show starts on January 20th at 10pm. Howard said her book ''Strong Looks Better Naked'' tells people what to do. Khloe said she gives people suggestions and Gunner has a chapter in there too.
Howard asked what her day is like. Khloe said she's doing Fallon and Andy Cohen's show too. She said she's playing Charades with Jimmy. Howard said he would just talk to her. She has enough going on. Howard wished her a Happy Kwanzaa since she's into that. Howard asked who she's on Andy's show with. Khloe said she's not sure but it's one of the Housewives. She said that she's on Fallon with Danny DeVito. Howard asked if she's going to show titty on Fallon. Khloe said she will show some cleave. She said that she'll wear something like that on Andy's show too.
Howard asked Khloe what white guy could get her. Khloe wasn't able to come up with one. She said she would need a masculine one though. Howard said they had a good time today. Khloe said she had a great time. Howard said she won't have this kind of fun with Andy or Jimmy. Howard told her to say hello to Lamar for him. Khloe said she will. Howard said what he did was almost like suicide.
Howard gave Khloe some more plugs and said she just needs 3 viewers and she has a hit. Howard made up a fake call to her from FYI where he told her that she had 7 viewers and she has a hit. Howard said if she gets 10 viewers she's got a hit. Howard said don't feel any pressure. Howard said if she plays her cards right she'll win a Webby. Khloe said she wants one too. Howard said he's loaded up the green room with Popeye's. Khloe said that's great. Howard asked if she likes grape soda. She said no. She doesn't talk during movies either. Howard said the other show on FYI is Black Love. Howard said that she really does love black people. Howard said he does too. Robin read some of the other shows that are on FYI. Howard said she already has more viewers than those shows. Howard said she will have a hit show over there. Howard gave her more plugs and went to break. They played some song parodies and bits as they were going to break.
Howard said he had a friend who looked kind of black but he was white. Howard said he was dating this hot chick and they found out that she only dates black guys. Howard said that he kind of looked black so that's why she was dating him. Howard said he had an afro and even a pick.
Robin said Howard has a type. Howard said he has a type and that's anyone who is willing to be with him. Howard said that before Beth everyone was in play. Robin said Howard doesn't fuck every girl. Howard said he dated across he board. He said they just needed a vagina. Howard said he dated white, black but not Asian. Robin said they were all thin. Howard said he did date a woman who was over 100 pounds. Howard said he does like thin. Robin said that's a type. Howard said he'll give her that. Howard said he likes them all. Howard said he's very attracted to Asian women. Howard said he loved dating black women. He said he'd go to a club and he'd be the only white guy there. Howard said he was like ''Look at me. I accept all people.'' Howard said he got some looks from those guys at the clubs. Howard said he'd never go to a club alone. He said he would go to the black clubs and a lot of Asians were there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that was a great interview with Khloe. He said he loved the comment she made about having DSL. Howard said Ronnie told him that the Khloe interview was the best interview in the past 20 years. Howard said he's not making that up. Howard said Ronnie is a big fan of his. Howard asked Ronnie why that is. Ronnie came in and said that she's like him in a way. He said she was talking about sex and all of that. He asked if Howard saw her butt. Howard said he did. He said that's easy access. Ronnie said she was just so honest. Ronnie said it was the best.
Ronnie said he couldn't help but see her ass walking in there. Howard said Ronnie would give her a good time. Fred played some of Ronnie's creepy sex tips while they were talking about that. Howard said they should have had him come in during the interview.
Howard wondered if Ronnie has ever had a girl spin on him. Howard said that he was all charged up from that interview.
Howard said he has a clip from Mariann singing about his new contract. Howard said Mariann has a calendar of all of the shows that they have left. Howard played the song and Mariann sings about how many more days there are on this contract. She said there are 559 more shows left. Howard had to cut the song off. He said it depresses him when he hears he has 559 more shows left.
Howard said there is an anniversary today. He said it's the anniversary of when they learned that JD's internet name was Da Bad Ass. Howard said that was in 2006. Howard did the math and said that's the 10 year anniversary. Howard said he did that quick too. Howard played a clip of JD revealing that to them on the air in 2006. Howard played a JD song parody after that. Howard said now he's ''Da Big Ass.'' Howard said he has a girlfriend now though. He said that he has put on a few pounds over the years. Howard said that JD always says he's not saying but then he says it.
Howard said JD got him the nicest gift. Howard said the girlfriend must have been involved. JD said he did it on his own. He said the idea was his but he had help getting it made. Howard said he got him stationary and it says Howard Stern on it and at the bottom it says ''Peace and Love.'' Howard said that it was a great gift even if it's Ringo that says ''Peace and Love.'' Howard said JD did good. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin got to some news and read about some of the things people are writing about David Bowie. Robin said there is a petition on Change.org begging God to bring back Bowie. Howard said that's not a waste of time at all. Howard said Bowie was the best and he is missed. Howard said we have to move on. Howard said Fred signed that petition. Howard spent a little time talking about how he thought of guys like Bowie and McCartney as prophets. Howard said he gets why people want Bowie back. Howard said he doesn't think god is looking at anything with less than 20,000 names on it though.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he has ever given bone marrow to donate. Howard said he has not and he will not. Robin said they don't do bone marrow anymore. Robin said they do stem cells now. The caller said they can still drill into your hip. Howard said he's not good with that stuff. He said he's very uptight. The caller had a music recommendation for him. He told Howard about this guy who did a whole Wes Anderson movie and he did all Bowie covers in Portuguese. The caller, Chad, told Howard his name is Seu Jorge. He said that it was called The Life Aquatic Sessions. Gary said he's watching it and he's not sure Howard will love it. Howard said he wanted to hear it. Howard said he doesn't listen to anyone who isn't from England or America. Howard said he doesn't know of anyone from another country that's any good.
Fred played some of Seu Jorge's cover of ''Rebel, Rebel'' and Howard hated it within seconds. Howard said Earl Bailey wouldn't even play this on Deep Tracks. Howard asked Chad if he's really recommending that. Chad said he thought it was interesting. Howard said he's a crackpot. He said that even Meg Griffin thinks he's out there. Howard asked how you fuck up a Bowie song that bad. Fred played another song and Howard hated that too. Howard laughed at Chad's recommendation. Howard said he could do this. He told Fred to get his guitar and he'll make up words. Howard said they play this on the dog shit channel.
Fred started playing guitar and Howard made up words to the Bowie song. Howard may have thrown in some Yiddish and some nonsense words too. He sang that he's going to hang up the phone. Chad said the song was beautiful. He told Howard to put it up on iTunes.
Chad asked if he asked Khloe if she squirts. Howard said he didn't but he did ask her about anal. Howard said he agrees with Ronnie that she was a great interview. Fred had a clip of Khloe saying ''Dick sucking lips.'' Howard said he bets she won't say that on Fallon.
Robin got back to her news and read about how Hulk Hogan going to court to battle the web site Gawker.com. Howard told Fred he was great on guitar earlier. Howard said that other stuff was so bad. Fred said it was horrible. Fred said it was just shit. He said it just sucks. Robin said that the hearing is expected to last all day tody. Howard asked if Bubba is friends with Hulk again. Howard said he offered the guy his wife. Howard said that's more than a friend. Howard said that's a bro. Howard said it was proven that it wasn't Bubba who released those tapes. Howard said that he with Bubba on that.
Robin read a story about a group of people who have gotten together $70,000 to buy Powerball tickets for tonight. Howard said Mariann bought him a ticket and it just says $15 million on it. He picked up on Mariann who said that it's the right one. She said that the thing he's seeing is the Megamillions. Howard said imagine if they win. Mariann said that's Howard's ticket. Howard said if he wins he'll let Mariann blow him. Mariann said she knew Simon wasn't going to change America's Got Talent. She said that he's afraid to change it up. She said he's going to be in the hot seat and he'll be tested. She kept calling him Simon Coward. Mariann said Howard has 557 more days. Howard hung up on her.
Robin read more about the Powerball jackpot and how people in New Jersey are buying a lot. Robin said they're the highest selling in the group of states that sell tickets. Howard said the odds are very low that you'll win. Robin said that if you take the lump sum pay out it eventually goes down to like $550 million after taxes. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said Ronnie saw that Khloe wasn't wearing any underwear. Fred did his Ronnie impression and said that he could see her barking starfish. Howard said he can't stare at that stuff. He said he tries to be a gentleman.
Robin read about President Obama's State of the Union address and had some audio clips for Howard to play. Howard said he thought they played some earlier. Robin said she picked some new ones. Howard threw in some of the fake Obama clips with the real ones Robin had.
Robin read about Iran saying that the U.S. has apologized for two patrol boats entering their waters. Robin said they have released 10 sailors this morning. Howard said it's a sad day for our Navy today. Howard asked how we were captured by the Iranian Navy. Howard said we shouldn't even be scared of that. Robin had some audio of Chris Christie talking about how Obama didn't even mention them in his speech last night.
Robin read about how Bernie Sanders is surging ahead of Hillary in the polls. Howard said she has to feel unloved now. Howard said that no one is going to elect a Jewish guy. Howard said Hillary must not be good at campaigning. Howard said she has to be kicking herself in the head. Howard said it should be a lock.
Robin said Charlie Sheen was on Dr. Oz yesterday talking about a setback he had in his battle against HIV. Robin said he had announced he had no evidence of HIV in his blood but he stopped taking the cocktail of drugs he was taking and now it's come back. Howard said he has some audio clips. Howard played some clips of Charlie talking while he's running. Howard said that's always winning TV. Charlie talked about having a dream at 28 where he saw a sign that said AIDS on it. He knew it was coming eventually. Howard said he just kept at it and fucked all of those women without protection. Howard said you'd think that dream would have made him think about it a little more. Charlie and Dr. Oz talked about what the meds can do to you. Charlie said that they can give you migraines to poo-poo pants. He said he wears black underwear because of that. Howard said even he wears black underwear. Howard played some other clips of Charlie talking about his meds and how he was ''born dead.'' Robin said now he's vowing to take his meds. Howard said he wishes he had that interview. He said he'd love to talk about shitting his pants and black underwear. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
JD came in so Howard congratulated him on his anniversary of Da Bad Ass. JD told Howard about something Charlie did in Mexico and how a doctor down there injected Charlie's blood into himself. Howard said he doesn't believe that. Howard played the clip where Charlie talked about what the doctor did. Charlie claims that the guy put a needle in his arm, took some blood and injected it into himself. Charlie says this really happened. Howard asked what Robin makes of that. Robin said she doesn't think the guy really put it into his arm. Howard said that's Dr. El Chapo. Fred threw in Bobo's ''El Knee-No'' clip when Howard said El Chapo.
Robin read a story about a football player, Antonio Cromartie, who got a vasectomy but then got his wife pregnant with twins. Robin said they don't say when he got the vasectomy but they do say that they're about 98 percent effective. Howard had a clip of the guy trying to name all 10 of his other kids. He didn't have a problem but he had like four 3 year olds at the time.
Robin read a story about a folk singer who wants to bring peace to ISIS with his music. Robin said he's going to put on a concert for the terrorist group despite warnings from the government. Robin said that he has plans to make contact in ISIS controlled areas to put on the concerts. Howard said that's a bad idea. Howard said that will go over great. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Rahsaan asked if Scott will try to do that with even more characters. Jon said he thinks that he'll milk it with that one. He said he thinks they can look forward to hearing more from Bailey. Jon played a quick clip of some of that Bailey bit and the Khloe Kardashian interview.
Jon said that he wants to talk about the Khloe interview. He said she came in and gave a very blunt interview. He said it doesn't matter if you're a fan or not. He said that she could have shut down and not talked about anything but she said she was looking forward to this interview more than any other. Rahsaan said that he was surprised about how much she laid out on the table today. Jon said it ranged over a whole lot of issues. Jon said they talked about Lamar Odom. He said that when you hear someone is marrying someone after a month what do you do. Rahsaan said nothing good can come from that. He said you want to be honest but don't want to offend someone if you tell them it's a mistake. Jon said he thinks it's way too soon to marry someone. Rahsaan agreed. He said he thinks that you should live with someone before you get married.
Jon talked about how Khloe is sticking by Lamar because he doesn't have anyone else to help him out. The guys were talking about how James Harden feels in all of this. Gary said he was wondering how he feels after hearing that Lamar Odom was the best sex Khloe ever had.
Jon said he can't imagine anyone else who was so blunt with Howard other than Denise Richards. Gary said if you didn't hear the interview then he begs you to listen to the replay. Gary said she is one of the best guests that they've had in there. Gary said that she just answers questions without thinking about it. He said she talked about everything there is to talk about. Jon said Ronnie was a fan of the puffy puss, the DSL and all of that. Gary said there wasn't one thing where she said she didn't want to talk about it. Gary said she was very open talking about dick sucking lips. He said that Ronnie was out there laughing and talking about how she's the best. They went to break after that.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she thought the Khloe interview was great. She said a lot of people judge Khloe and say they're going to tune out before hearing her. Gary said if you did tune out you missed it. He said that he thinks it was great. The caller said it really was great.
Jon said a lot of people have reactions to the Kardashians and they react before hearing it. He said that people do that with Howard too. He said you may not like Khloe at the end of the interview but you have to respect how forthright she was and how she answered everything Howard asked. The caller said she thinks that people will like her if they just hear the interview. Gary said that Kim and Khloe visited one other time and Khloe was the more open one back then. He said that she's the fun one.
Jon brought up the story that she told about learning about Caitlyn from watching that Diane Sawyer interview. Gary said that Howard has done what Caitlyn did by telling him that he wants to talk about certain things on the air and not off. He said that it's more embarrassing off the air than on. Gary said he gets why Caitlyn wanted to do that stuff in front of the camera. They spent a little more time on that and then went to break.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Howard was being a real douche this morning toward Earl Bailey. He said that Howard just bashed the shit out of him. He said he thought that was a dick head move. Jon said he thinks that Howard has a lot of respect for Earl. Gary said that Howard got into the radio business when people were about the music and not the money. Gary said Howard was about the money. He said that Earl was playing the best songs about talking but maybe not the songs that Howard wanted to hear. Jon said that Howard has said he wanted to talk on the air and music was secondary. Gary said he just wanted a job when he got into radio. He said he never saw himself on air playing music. Jon and Gary talked about Earl Bailey and his very distinctive voice. Gary said he's never met the guy but he'd love to meet him. He said he loves his style.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they think Scott knew what he was doing with his Bailey the Bedbug character or is he giving him too much credit. Jon said he's giving him too much credit. Gary said that the second funniest part of that whole thing is when people egg him on and tell him it's funny when it's not. Jon said the character is part of the show now so maybe he is a genius after all.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks that Khloe's show has to be on a network where she can talk like she did on Howard's show. He said he has tried to watch that shit on E! and it's not made for us. He said it's better when they can talk like they do on Howard's show. Gary said he thinks that the E! show isn't geared toward the caller. He said he doesn't think that they're looking to talk to 37 year old men.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she doesn't live too far from the Kardashians. She said she loves all of them but loves Khloe the most. She said that she talks about her lips and never wanting a woman before but she did want Angeline. Gary asked if she sees them around her area at all. The caller said not at all.
Jon said not everything is on camera but they do spend a lot of time filming. Jon said that Khloe is relateable in a lot of ways but the DSLs are another story.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he is the furthest thing from a Kardashian fan but he has respect for Khloe after today's interview. He said he might be a fan of her's now. The caller said he was getting chubbed up during the interview. Jon said that you could tell that she was having fun in there. He said that she came in to have fun. Jon said it's probably a relief for her because she's held back on other shows.
Jon wrapped up and got in some plugs for today's Sternthology. They finished up the show around 11:50am.
Jon asked Rahsaan about what the poll is about today. Rahsaan said they're asking if you believe Bobo or Shuli in the case of the Bobo Flea Market scandal.
Jon said that this isn't a making a murderer kind of thing. He said they just have to go with what they have. Gary said Shuli has been talking to both sides and it's not cut and dry. He said it's very interesting. Jon said that just being accused of this has to be driving him nuts. Gary said if he didn't do it then it's a crazy thing to be accused of. Gary said that it's not like ''no fucking way'' he didn't do it. He said he can't say that it's definitely not true about Bobo. Jon said he did sell the Tickle Chair. He said that he needed money so he sold it. He said it was given to him personally by Howard. Gary said he's getting weirded out by the internet lately. He said there is weird shit getting crowd sourced. He said that you wonder how people did it before the internet. Jon said it works two ways. Jon said it's one thing to put it up there and another to buy into it.
Gary said he is a Powerball winner. He said he won $4. He spent $20. Jon said he didn't buy a ticket.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has his suspicions about Bobo and the flea market thing. He said he doesn't trust him. Jon asked if he thinks that he has parted with more of his shrine stuff. The caller said he's sure over the years there's no telling what he's come up with. Gary said Bobo begged them for the Tickle Chair. He said that they though it would have a good home. Jon said he has a problem with him selling it. He said ie purports himself as being an extreme fan and a fan like that would not part with something from the show like that. Jon asked if he'd be shocked if Mariann sold something like that. Gary said yes but she doesn't appear to need the money. Gary said it depends on how bad you need the money. Jon said they're going to take a break now. He said Earl Bailey is coming in after the break.
Jon said they're thrilled to have Earl there. Jon said Howard was intimidated when he started out because he didn't have the voice that Earl had. Earl said he used to sing but then his voice dropped and he got into announcing. He said he was driving around with a friend in the late 60s and heard WNEW and he told his friend that he was going to do that one day.
Jon asked if it's flattering to have Howard talking about him the way he did. Earl said he's amazed when he can draw any attention. He said he always intended to be in the background. He said the longer you're around the less you can blend in. He said he is grateful Howard says nice things. He said that people have said that if he said not nice things it might do his career good.
Gary talked about seeing Jim Kerr for the first time and how shocking it was to see him. He said WPLJ put out a calendar at some point and they had all of the DJs in there.
Jon said Howard talked about radio and how it became more and more about getting the music out there and not being the DJs getting their stuff out there. Earl said everyone wants to make money. He said he remembers when FM stared making more money than AM and all of that. He said that they started the whole thing all over again with satellites.
Gary asked where Earl was when Howard arrived at WNBC. Earl said he was at WNEW. Gary asked what people thought about Howard. Earl said he always liked it. He said the way Howard said things and surgically investigated things was fascinating to him. He said he didn't get to listen to him all that often since he was up against him. He said it's very possible now with On Demand.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how close Earl is to the microphone and if he's surprised by Howard's success. Earl said he's about 6 inches away from the microphone right now. He said he doesn't get that close. He said sometimes he does when he's broadcasting and he'll get his nose right up to it. Jon asked how he felt about Howard's fame. Earl said he's impressed. He said that he was very much like Howard because he used to just want to go home after work like Howard did. He said Howard said he didn't want to meet him and he feels kind of the same way. He said you don't want to blow your image by meeting someone. He said that he met Howard up in Westchester when he was coming into WRNW and Howard was leaving. He said they crossed paths in the kitchen. He said he wasn't intimidated but he wasn't sure if he wanted to leave or if he was being forced out.
Gary said Howard didn't want to see what Earl looks like. He said he had a picture of him but Howard didn't want to see it.
Jon asked what Howard's reputation was when he went in and Howard was leaving WRNW. Earl said people loved Howard and they missed him. He said he was just the life of the party. Gary asked if Howard is lying about people not liking him. Gary said that wasn't the impression he got. He said other than the owner of the station maybe.
Gary said there were a lot of people who disliked Howard in the industry. He said that Scott Muni really hated Howard and what he was doing. Gary said many of the people that hated them eventually followed them though.
Jon said before they let him go they should talk about Bowie. Jon said that everyone is doing a tribute now. Jon asked Earl about why he's getting this kind of reaction. Earl said he thinks it's because it was so unexpected. He said that they say he did leave some clues though. He said his album Blackstar is a reference to some kind of cancer lesion. Earl said he does another show there and they stopped playing music and just opened up the phones. Earl said he as amazed at the reaction they were getting. He said half were like 35 years old and barely born when he started performing. There were others his age. He said one guy called from Miami and he said he was a gay guy growing up in Cuba and finding peace with a David Bowie album. Earl said he always liked playing his music on the radio. Jon gave Earl a plug and wrapped up with him before going to break.
Jon said it's interesting to hear the WRNW stories as told by other people. Gary said he never heard Meg say that Howard was loved by everyone there so that was interesting.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's not a Bobo fan but he did say one thing about how he should never be on the show again if he did this flea market thing. Gary said that he's right but then again if you're going in you go all in.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's so glad that they're back for 5 years. He asked what the vibe is in the office about the next 5 years. Gary said they all feel great. He said they like feeling locked in. Gary said that they don't all have the luxury of having Howard as a boss. He said other jobs you can lose your job with an hour's notice. Jon said Howard always signs 5 years. He said that it wouldn't have surprised him if he had signed for less.
Jon took a call from a guy who said it would be nice if they could do more than an hour on Thursday and Friday. Jon said they do their thing like they do the rest of the week. He said you're paying to hear Howard and not him and Gary. Gary said if you're really interested in hearing from them you can meet them out in front of the building and walk to the parking garage with them. Gary said it's surprising how many people actually do that.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up Howard not getting following sports teams. He said that he doesn't have it in him to stick with one team. They spent a short time talking about that. The caller said his dad didn't bond with him over sports so that might be a reason. The guys talked about how they get a lot of support from the fans about their sports teams. Gary said there is a connection that you have when you're growing up and going to games with your dad. Jon explained how he became a fan of the Steelers and other Pittsburgh teams because he lived there for 5 years when their teams were great. They spent a few minutes talking about that.
Jon wrapped up and got in some plugs for today's Sternthology. He mentioned they'll be playing the Jesus Twins appearance today. They spent a short time talking about that and then ended the show. They wrapped up around 11:45am.
Jon said he sees Danny itching over there. He said he heard he plays harmonica. Danny said it's a hard thing to master. They spent a short time talking about harmonicas and how to play. Jon said he didn't want it to become the harmonica Wrap Up Show. He played a quick clip of what they played today before the Wrap Up Show.
Jon said they played the Khloe Kardashian interview today and that's not the usual interview. Jon said that the Kardashians are extremely polarizing. He said that she talked about a lot of stuff that people want to hear about. Taylor said it's exactly what you want to hear from her. Gary said he took the train home yesterday and a guy walked up to him and said that was an awesome interview. He said that's what the fans want. Gary said she came in and talked with no filter.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Sour Shoes is such a huge part of the show and he feels he should hook him up with someone like Frank Caliendo or someone like that. He said he reminds him of a young Robin Williams or something. He asked what they can do to get him to work with someone. Jon said he thinks they have to start with Howard. He said it's hard to harness those powers. Jon said he is one of the most talented people he's met. Gary said everyone who needs to hear him is hearing him. He said it's up to someone to hire him now. Jon said Sour does those lines as Gary and he's not making them up. He's reciting lines that Gary has actually said. Gary said Sour will email him lines from this show that he found interesting. He said he gets all of those details right when he calls in and does that impression. He said all of his facts are correct. He said he may have total recall or something going on.
Jon asked Taylor about how talented you have to be to do something like Sour does. Taylor said he might have perfect pitch. He said it's something you either have or don't. He said he thinks he does. Jon said Sour goes pretty deep with his music knowledge. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked Danny about some legal issues that Bobo could be in with the flea market accusations. Jon said that he hasn't been to a flea market in a long time but what is the deal with what's going on with Bobo. Danny said it sounds like a very defensible case. He said he's accused of selling Howard Stern Show memorabilia. He said what they don't realize is that we leave a digital wake of evidence. He said he's sure they could figure out where Jon Hein has been in the past 24 hours if they had to. Danny said they're going to want to look at the evidence they have. He said Shuli says that this source is reliable but they don't have photographs that they know of. He said there's also a saying that says snitches get stitches. He said that snitches are afraid of testifying but not on the Howard Stern Show. He said here they are rewarded. Danny said he's sure if someone else saw Bobo there that they'd be flooding the office with evidence. Jon asked if he uses that phrase often about snitches get stitches. Danny said he does not.
Jon said that he has been saying that Bobo is innocent until proven guilty. He said it's a tough hole for him to climb out of though. He said people are going to think what they're going to think. Danny said he thinks this case will go away quickly. He said if they don't have evidence already then they may never get any.
Gary said the only key piece of evidence he's seen is a sign in a photograph that was professionally made. He said it says ''Come meet Bobo from the Howard Stern Show'' but he has not seen Bobo in any photos. Jon said Shuli says he has more evidence and they will have to wait until Monday to find out more about that.
Jon said that Howard was talking about Sean Penn and El Chapo this week. Jon asked Danny what he has to say about that case. Danny went into an explanation of that case and gave his analysis of that. Jon and Gary spent some time talking about that case with Danny and Taylor. They went to break after that.
Jon said they've been hearing about rock being dead for decades. Gary said it's not on the charts like it used to be. He said if people wanted it then it would still be doing great. Jon said the Beatles were pop when they came out but now they're considered classic rock. He said they'll have to see how things play out.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that every in studio shot of Gary is him wearing his headphones with one ear on and one off. He asked why that is. Jon asked Gary why that is. Gary said there is no great explanation. He said he always wanted to hear on the radio and what was going on in the room when he started out so that's why he did it. He said it's something he got used to doing. Gary said that's the simplest explanation he has.
Danny said he saw Gary doing that and he tried it too. He said you do get a different sound an he's doing it as they sit there in the studio.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary what the process is like getting Sour Shoes to come in and what it's like compared to the other Wack Packers. Gary said he can't spend a lot of time with him but he is reliable when he says he'll get there. He said he has car troubles at times. He said they have it worked out pretty well with him though. He said Sour used to come up and say that he parked in the street and that meant that he could get towed away. Gary said they've worked things out with him since though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Khloe Kardashian sounded so sexy in that interview. He said the interview was so different with her. He said he feels like they need more of that on the show. Jon said that you'll never hear the same interview twice. He said that Howard mixes it up.
Jon said the guests have to come in and mix things up with Howard. He said Khloe had a good time talking about sex. Gary said that Howard wasn't prying into it either. He said he read the guest and the more he spoke to her the more of a handle he got on it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he doesn't think The Beatles were ever considered pop. He said that they were always long haired and pushing the envelope. Gary said when they first started they held the first 5 slots on the pop charts. He said they came to this country as a pop band. Jon said he's judging it more on the charts and the screaming girls. He said that it was the pop persona. He said that he doesn't consider them pop now.
Jon asked Taylor what he thinks. Taylor said that pop means popular and they were the most popular of that time and even of all time.
Jon asked Taylor about meeting High Pitch Eric. Taylor said he'd like to see an x-ray of his vocal chords. He said that's wild. Jon said that's a fair way to describe him. Danny said he met him up there too and it was fascinating. Danny said that the fans have wondered if it's a physical or mental thing with that voice. Jon said that his voice does get lower at times but he doesn't think it's an affectation. Gary said he can speak in a low voice at times. Gary asked Taylor if he ever met Eric the Actor. Taylor said he never did but he'd like to.
Jon wrapped up and got in plugs for today's Sternthology. They ended the show around 11:50am.