| Monday | Tuesday |
|
|
| Wednesday | Thursday |
|
|
| Friday | |
|
|
Howard started the show talking about how they're back live. Howard said he's fucking miserable. He's sick. Howard said the reason he's sick is because of America's Got Talent. He said that he wasn't off for the week. He said they're out of their minds over there. Howard said he needs a vacation so bad. Howard said he isn't sure what will happen in January but he's only going to do one job. Either this one or that one. He said he's not doing two again. Howard said his agent tells him it's going to be fun but he's miserable.
Howard said what happened was they taped in Bethpage, New York. Howard said it's an hour and a half from the city or his home on Long Island. Howard said he had to be up at 6 in the morning and one night they went until 1 in the morning. Howard said it was crazy. He said staying awake that long he was mentally on but not doing physical labor. Howard said he had to stare at Howie Mandel for 15 hours and that's not a vacation to him. He said he got sick because of that. He said there were a ton of people there who were sick too.
Robin said she was talking to Toni about this. She said she pointed out that while Howard's days are long the producers work around the clock. Robin said if they are doing that then they are getting sick and they're around Howard.
Howard said they do a red carpet thing there and you don't get on until 11 or 12. He said there's a lot of shit he doesn't want to be a part of. He said he doesn't want to be a shenanigan guy. Robin said the first episode looked like fun. Howard said they cut out all of his misery. Howard said he was complaining then too. Howard said he looks like Mr. Happy there. He said he does have a good time judging but they're beating the shit out of him now. He said he's wiped out now.
Howard said yesterday he wanted to stay home and relax but his cousin Stacy died a couple of months ago and they had a memorial service for him. Howard said he did that and that was very sad. He said he was blubbering over that. He said his daughter got him emotional saying a few nice things. Howard said Stacy was a fun guy. Howard said he was in there once with his husband. Robin said that was a sad thing. He said he went to their wedding and it was very nice. He said Stacy got sick maybe a few months ago and a month later he was gone. Howard said it was cancer. He said that was emotional.
Howard said he didn't want to miss the memorial service. He said no one would believe that he was sick if he didn't show up. Howard said this America's Got Talent thing is killing him. He said they really work him hard. He said they had guest judges and he's not sure if he can say who they are. He said they tell him not to talk about it. He said one of the guys was 40 and he was passed out at the desk. He said that he had no idea how much time they put into it.
Robin said she heard the other judges don't mind it. Howard said that's because they have nothing else to do. Howard said he has a busy schedule.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she doesn't know how Howard does it. She said she went over there at 8 in the morning and came home at 11 at night. Mariann said she had to use a port-a-potty. Howard said he has a bathroom to use but he can't pee when there are other people around. He said he had to go out to his trailer to go alone. Robin said it sounds like the audience is abused too. Howard said some of them have to leave.
Howard said that what they've essentially done to him is make this his last season. Howard said he loves the show and loves sitting with the talent but it was a lot of hours. Howard said that Mariann is getting him all charged up. He said that she was exhausted from watching. Mariann said now Howard can just do satellite radio. Howard said that one woman passed out there. He said that Ronnie has stories.
Howard let Mariann go and said that she'd interrupt if he keeps her on. Ronnie came in but Howard was talking about how they were doing the judging over there. Howard said they had 20 acts each day and they had to pick 7 to go through. Howard said he had to do the picking.
Ronnie said it was nuts over there. He said they were there all day long. Howard said that he told Ronnie he was just going to walk out and leave. Ronnie said they had trailers and they were walking out like they were going to leave. Howard said he has an obligation there. Howard said he's announcing his final season there. He said if he doesn't have this job there at Sirius then he's not doing that one. Howard said he just wants to retire though. He said he's just so burnt out now. He said it's like a death march. Howard said they had a day off in between.
Ronnie said the guest judges and everyone would gang up on Howard and he'd get really pissed off. Gary said he has articles about who was guest judging. Howard said they told him not to say. Howard said Neil Patrick Harris was his guest. Howard said Michael Buble was there and he was very funny. He said he really liked him a lot. Gary said that's the guy Sal thinks he's better than. Howard said he's a big fan of the show. Howard said Neil was great. Piers came back and judged and he was good. Howard said he liked working. He said that Marlon Wayans was there and was very good too. Howard said they had more judges but it turned out to be fun.
Howard said he would have had more fun if they didn't have 17 hour days. Ronnie said the last day they were out before 10 o'clock. Howard said everyone was congratulating them. Ronnie said they had to get out of the building so that's why they got out so early. Howard said that's what he did on his summer vacation. Howard said even Ronnie looks worn out. Ronnie said he is a little bit.
Howard said Melissa McCarthy is coming in today. He said she's in a new movie. Howard said she was on once before and she's pretty cool.
Robin asked if the America's Got Talent schedule is more grueling than the Private Parts movie shoot. Howard said it is. He said he's older now too so maybe that makes it worse. Robin said he complained a lot back then too. Robin said they were working 5 days a week on radio and then they'd go shoot the movie until 7. Howard said he put limits on that though. He said it wasn't easy but he was younger back then. Howard said America's Got Talent will be good though. He said the first episode aired last week. He said they did a whole thing with the lie detector. He said people were getting pissed off.
Howard said he's only complaining about the hours he had to work. He said the show is good. He said it will show on TV.
Howard played another clip of Riley clearing his throat. He had a lot of phlegm in there. Riley said hello to Eron in that clip. Robin said she has no idea what he's even talking about. Howard said he has one where he gets his age wrong. Robin said she's fascinated. Howard said no one should miss this show. Howard said if you do this is what you're missing out on.
Howard played the clip of Riley saying he's 67 and Eron corrects him saying he's 69. Howard said he has another one where Riley gets confused about taking a break. Riley was asking if he had any time left or not. There's a lot of slurring before they do go to break.
Howard said there is some confusion there. Howard said it's pretty fun. Robin said that's amazing. Howard said Eron is running a tight ship over there.
Howard said this is Gary calling the dentist. In the call Sal played clips of Gary from his audio book talking about his teeth and how he grew up with yellow stained teeth. The receptionist would ask questions and Sal would play clips of Gary talking about his awful teeth. He played a couple of offensive things that made the woman hang up on him.
Howard played a Baba Booey song parody after that. Howard said at America's Got Talent he has a lot of fun with the whole Baba Booey name thing. Robin said she heard about the replay of the time Howard went to Gary's house for dinner. Howard said that was a nightmare. Howard said he remembers leaving early. Robin said that Artie showed up late and Howard was cold from the house being open. Gary said he had a string quartet on the back deck and Howard closed the door on them. Howard said he was cold. Robin said Howard had to scream for Beth at the end. Howard said he's such a dick. Howard said he knows he's a dick. Howard said he was right because Gary tortured him. Robin said they have to get together again. Howard said he's a miserable fuck. He said he always will be. He said therapy isn't helping. Howard said he's not giving up though. Howard said he's no fun. He said he's not sure what's wrong with him. He said he's in constant pain. He said he's not sure what's wrong with him.
Robin said he should try this Cryotherapy she's doing. She said you freeze yourself. Benjy laughed. Howard asked if she's really doing that. Robin said she is. Howard said she's going to make herself sick again. Howard said making yourself cold is not good. Howard said he has to talk to her off the air. He said that she's doing this hippy nonsense that's going to kill her. Howard asked what she's trying to do. Robin said it helps with inflammation and pain relief. Howard said she has to stop it and watch that TV he got her. Howard asked how much she's paying to be frozen. Robin said it's $70 a shot. Fred said he read that it's like -274 degrees. Robin said it's the coldest she's ever been. Howard said she has to be satisfied with how she is. Howard said he's sick over her.
Howard said Robin is making him sick. He said he cried over her. He said her immune system is going to get fucked up. Howard told her to do whatever she wants. Howard said put coffee up her ass or whatever. Howard said she had beads behind her ears at one point. Howard said he can tolerate that but not this freezing stuff. Robin said she has only lasted 2.5 minutes. She said you're supposed to last 3 minutes. Howard said that she should just jump in the ocean with the Polar Bear club. Robin said maybe she will next year. Howard asked how cold can heal you. He said be warm. Robin said they use this kind of thing to help people through operations. Howard asked who. Robin said they do.
Howard said Robin saw Braco the Gazer. Gary said they have it in their log that she was doing walking meditation at one point. Howard said Robin won't leave herself alone. Gary said someone died over the weekend doing the Ayahuasca thing. Robin said people die doing all kinds of things. Howard asked why she would freeze herself. Robin said it's good for you. Howard asked where her Indian therapy is. Robin asked what Indian therapy. Howard said he has to talk to her after the show. He said she has no guidance.
Howard asked if she's naked when she's frozen. Robin said you are. She said that you wear a robe into the room and then get into the chamber. Howard said you must shake. Robin said you have to so your blood keeps flowing. Howard asked what the fuck she's up to. Howard said he's getting upset over this. Robin said he should read something once in a while.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she's having some bad days. She said that her mother is dying and she wanted to get through to the show. Howard asked if she has thought about freezing her like Robin. The caller said that's why she's calling. Howard said he had to get out of this conversation. He thanked her for the call and let her go. She had said she was drunk and Howard didn't want to deal with that.
Howard asked if they have a doctor on call at the Cryo place. Robin said they don't. Howard said that's great, they just stuck a person in a refrigerator. Howard asked her who told her to go do this. Robin said someone she respects. Howard asked who. Robin said she's not going to say. Howard said that she has weird friends. Howard said she has friends who want to have super powers. Howard said he thought she was done with them when she was done with cancer. Robin said she hasn't done the Ayahuasca thing again. Howard said she has to go pay to be locked in a freezer now. Howard said Beth went out in a bikini in the winter once. Robin said she was the one who inspired her.
Howard asked if she's into cooking her foot in a microwave. Howard said he remembers when she was in a witches coven once. Robin said she wasn't in it. Howard said she was hanging out with them. Robin mentioned she keeps her bra on in the Cryo thing. Howard asked why they would keep that on. Robin said she's not sure. Howard asked if you keep your cock and balls covered if you're a dude. Robin said she's not sure. Howard said he has to take a break. Howard said Robin really has lost it with this. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said he watched the series Bloodline on Netflix and it was great. Howard said the guy who was the Coach on Friday Night Lights is in it. He said the brother was really good too. Howard said that was a really good one. Robin said she also liked Frankie and Grace with Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin. Howard said it's too shticky for him. Robin said he has to stick with it. She said it gets better. Howard said he'll stick with it. Robin said Lily is great.
Howard said Jane Fonda looks great. He said she's in her 70s and her body looks kick ass. Robin said she's just skinny. Howard said she looks amazing in her clothes then.
Howard said Jillian Barberie was on the Wrap Up Show with Jon Hein and said some nice things. Howard said he should have fucked her when he was single. Howard said she was on the other coast. He said that he thinks he had already met Beth at the time. Howard said Jillian would have been a lot of fun.
Howard played a clip of Jillian talking about how Howard feels like the one who got away even though she never had him. She was talking about her therapist telling her to find someone like Howard.
Howard said he was talking to his niece over the weekend and she was telling him that he's so evolved. Howard said he's really not. Howard said Jillian was tweeting pictures of herself in a Howard Stern bikini. He said there was a time when he could have banged her. Howard said her fantasy is that he'd fall in love with her. Howard said they never banged or even hung out. Howard said he has banged women who were impressed with his fame and that was the craziest and best sex. Howard said it's too wild though. Howard said he'd be inside Jillian for 3 seconds and disappoint her. Howard said he'd just blow his load all over her backside and then go to sleep. Robin said maybe 3 minutes is all he needs. Howard said it's more like 3 seconds.
Howard said it would have been great because they could be talking about how funny it was now. Howard said that he missed his chance to disappoint her sexually. Robin asked why they haven't talked to some of the other ex's to find out how they were disappointed. Howard said he was really good sexually with some women. Howard said one girl turned him on so much that he came in 3 seconds. Howard said he was able to hold out longer with some women. Howard said he hates apologizing for 20 minutes after that. Howard said he hopes they considered that a compliment. Howard said he never saw her again after that. Robin said that's his answer then.
Howard said they don't make condoms thick enough for him. He said he feels too much. Howard said he wants to be slowed down.
Howard played another Wrap Up Show clip where Jillian talked about masturbating to Howard. She said she remembers doing it once and also talked about how she doesn't use toys. Howard thanked her for those nice words.
In another clip Tracy was talking about the injuries he suffered in the accident. He said he has problems remembering things and he gets nose bleeds and things like that. He has some scars on his head from the accident too.
In another clip Tracy was talking about how he was cursing out people when he first came out of his coma. He said that he had to say he was sorry to Jackie for doing that to her. Howard said poor Tracy.
Howard played another clip of Tracy talking about how he just wants to heal and get better. He said he wants to go back to comedy but he's not at 100 percent yet. Howard said that's the great Tracy Morgan. Howard said no one ever said life's easy. He said then you die. Robin said life is absurd. It doesn't make any sense at all.
Howard said he's glad that Tracy is back at least. Howard said he sent him a couple of notes and never heard back from him. Howard said he just wished him well. Robin said he was a great guest on the show. Howard said he thinks he'll be back. Howard asked Robin if she said life's absurd when she was in that freezer. Robin said she said it on the beach with Alison Norris. Howard said he had to take another break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard took a call from Bobo and said that he was thinking about testing people to see if they're really superfans. Howard asked Bobo who Dr. Perrino is. Bobo said that he has smoke coming out of his head right now. Howard said that Robin knows. Fred knows. Benjy didn't know. Bobo said it's very obscure. Howard said he's not a superfan then. Howard said that he's taking away the Superfan status. Howard asked how he doesn't know Dr. Perrino. Bobo said some things stick. Howard said he hates to tell him this but he's been downgraded to ''some asshole who calls a lot.'' Bobo said he's going to kill him.
Bobo said that the America's Got Talent premiere was great. He said Howie was great when he got hypnotized. Howard said it proves that it's real. Howard said that guy will not touch anyone's hand. Howard said they just finished taping Judges cut week and he saw that guy again. He said it's very interesting.
Bobo said he was hypnotized on a cruise ship and he was Elvis and doing air guitar and things. He said he came in second. Howard said he still thinks that if you're dopey you can be hypnotized easily.
Bobo said he heard at the end of Dave Letterman's show they threw his set into the garbage. Howard said he doesn't know anything about that. Howard said he doesn't even know Dave. He's just been on his show. Robin said that they interviewed an actress about it and she said the same thing. Robin said it was Julia Roberts.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a bracket game for Howard. Howard asked if he has to do it. The caller said he was watching the show Broad City and they had a ''gross sex list'' and he was thinking about that. He said it's an anti-bracket of celebrities. The caller said he has men for Robin too. Howard said he's sick of the game and they haven't even started yet. Howard said he'll play a game with the caller instead. He said leave the games to them.
Howard asked if he wanted to go to L.A. to see John Mellencamp. The caller, Chad, said why not. Howard told the guy what he could win. Howard said Chad's game was taking too long. He said he should have jumped right into it instead. He said he fucked it up with the long explanation. Howard said he just won the ''shittiest caller'' bracket.
Howard said this game is a homeless game. He said they met this guy on the street. Howard played a clip of the guy saying he's 49 and he went to 3 years of college. Howard said now he's homeless. Howard played the test question which was ''What state is home of the Golden Gate Bridge?'' the guy said 'Brooklyn Howard played the first question which was ''Where was Neil Armstrong when he said ''This is one small step for man... one giant leap for mankind.'' Chad said he has to know. The guy said Mars.
The next question was ''What continent is Nigeria on?'' Chad said no way he'll know. The guy knew it was Africa. Howard played the next one which was ''Spell Guide.'' Chad said the guy will not know. The guy spelled it correctly. Howard said Chad is not going to win. Howard said that he got that one wrong. Howard said he didn't sound that excited about the thing anyway. Chad said he was but he's worn out from his weekend. Howard let Chad go after that.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that he's starting not to believe in god but if there is a god why doesn't he just wipe out cancer. Howard said the religious freaks would have you believe that it's god testing us. Howard said it's a whole thing that doesn't make sense to him. Howard said that his cousin died of cancer and he wondered what the point was. Robin said others would say that this is punishment for something. King asked why when someone dies of cancer do they say that they're great guys but they're being punished. Howard said why not give cancer to Hitler. Howard said he doesn't have any of those answers. King said no one does.
Howard said this is all kind of random. Howard said then he thinks about how something so beautiful doesn't have a creator. Howard said that this is so fucking random. Howard and Robin spent a little time arguing about if this could happen on another planet or not. Howard said no, Robin said it could.
Howard said Sour Shoes does an impression of King of all Blacks that's great. Howard said he has a short clip that's great. Howard played the clip of Sour doing that impression and Howard said he has to hear more of that. King said it's not good. Howard said it's very good. King said it isn't good. He said he has to ask him something else. He said that his friend got a divorce from his wife who partied too much. He said now she's with someone and not partying. Howard said he has to go. He said this is boring. King said no, he's getting to the point. King said that we think that the woman we're with loves us... Howard thanked him and hung up on him. Howard said no one cares. He said he had all of this build up and no one cares.
Howard asked if Gary is a voter in the hall of fame. Gary said he is but he doesn't get to nominate. He said Howard is complaining about the nominations and he has nothing to do with that. Gary said that he just gets the ballot for the inductees. He said that they've already been chosen. Howard said he doesn't know what's going on over there but it's very weird.
Gary said he saw some of the induction show. Howard said that Lori Anderson is so good at speaking. Howard said he likes her. Howard said it says a lot about Lou Reed that he married her. Howard said if she can love him then... He stopped and said he has no idea what it means.
Howard said Ringo Starr was inducted but not really. Gary said the whole thing was kind of odd. Howard said he is in as a solo artist. Gary said he thinks it's some other type of award. Howard said he likes Joan Jett. Gary said she did write some of those songs that were hits. Howard said that there are so many other bands that belong in there. Howard said it's a very odd organization but he liked the program. Howard said they honored Stevie Ray Vaughn.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw that Squatty Potty thing in a store the other day. He said that Howard's knees must really be up in the air. Howard said he's not picturing it the right way. Howard hung up on that guy saying he was annoying him. He said he's a fucking asshole.
Howard said he watched the AVN awards too. Howard said they have to cut that shit out. He said that a lot of these people aren't good looking. Howard said they're trying to be like the academy awards. Howard said when someone is up there crying about winning for best Anal Sex that's not an accomplishment. Howard said he knows they want legitimacy but they have to stop it. Howard said that he loves porn and he beats off constantly. Howard said he goes on YouPorn and watches clips all the time. Robin said that they caught some Brazilian legislator watching during work. Howard said that he doesn't do that. Howard said he's sick and he watches it more when he's sick. He said that way he can get to sleep right away. Howard said he doesn't have time for nonsense.
Howard said he was watching one where this young girl was banging her boyfriend in the house with her mom downstairs. Howard said there's another one where this guy fucks a guy's daughter to get rid of his debt. Howard said the black guy is fucking her reverse cowgirl and the dad is keeping his eyes covered. Howard said he beat off to that. Howard said the black guy had the biggest cock ever.
Howard played a clip of a porn start talking about winning for ''Best DP'' at the AVN awards. Howard said DP is Double Penetration. The girl was talking about how happy she is about that. Howard said that's a weird show.
Howard said they did a musical number at the AVN Awards. Howard played that clip and it was two porn stars talking about why the guy was picked to be the host. Robin said she finds those shows to be boring. Howard said that no one is even nude there. He said the only reason they like porn is because they are nude. Howard said they should get naked.
Howard played a clip for the ''Best Anal'' scene. In that one two porn stars were talking about how great anal can be and then introduce the nominees. Howard said this is actually boring. Howard played the clip of the winner of that category, Adriana Chechik, who ended up screaming with joy that she won. Howard played some other winners making their acceptance speeches.
Howard said there's a lot more but no more musical numbers. Howard said one chick brought her mom with her. Howard played a clip of that woman talking about winning and saying thanks to her husband for encouraging her. She also thanked her mom who was there with her. Howard said that's weird. Robin said when your mom supports you in that then you have to question everything.
Howard said Kim Kardashian was famous for a sex tape so she might be a porn star. Robin said she only made that one tape. Robin said now she's a mom and Mrs. Kanye West.
Howard said the guys made another phony phone call. Howard said they called one of those places where you go to jerk off or ''The booths.'' Howard said they said they wanted to have a birthday party here. Howard played the call and the guy making the call wasn't Sal or Richard. The guy was asking about setting up a party there at the booths. The guy on the line said they don't have a party section there. The guy was asking if they have jizz moppers there. The guy started singing ''Happy jizz day'' to his father and the booth guy hung up. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said he should do the top 5 songs while they're waiting for Melissa McCarthy. He had Brian Johnson (Jim Breuer) singing all of the top 5 songs. He played The Weekend at number 5, Walk the Moon at number 4, Fetty Wap at number 3, Wiz Khalifa Featuring Charlie Puth at number 2 and Taylor Swift at number 1. He had all of them but the number 1 covered by Breuer. Howard said that Taylor Swift always has a number one song. Howard said he's never heard this one though. Howard said they didn't have Brian Johnson singing that one.
Howard said that he has a few things to get to. Howard said this guy Chris Wilding took Ronnie's tape of his dirty sex tips and called some show. Howard said this is some internet show. Howard played the clip of Chris making his phony phone call and telling them that they had someone leaving some very disturbing things on their answering machine. He played some of the Ronnie clips for them and the host of the show said that he is a pervert and the woman must have wanted it to happen. Chris played more of the clips and they hung up on him. The host said that this troll will continue to do that.
Howard said that America's Got Talent premiered on Tuesday and it's so nice to get positive feedback about his looks. Howard said this guy Memet who works there had a Voicemail from his grandmother about how he looked. Howard played the clip and the woman said that he looks very sick. Howard thanked her for that. He said she's from Turkey. He said she said that his eyes are lifeless too. Howard said he's so pleased by that.
Howard said he knows he's not a good looking guy. Robin said that she was commenting on his health. Howard said he lost a lot of weight and he asked his doctor if he was too thin. Howard said his belly wasn't hanging over his pants. Howard said his doctor said that he's not too thin. He said it's good that he got rid of the belly fat. Howard said he thought it was a good thing too. Howard said he did the ice bucket challenge last year and a lot of people admired his physique.
Howard said he would rather be thin. He said that he's never going to look good though. He said that it's over for him. He said he has no energy or desire to go to the gym. He said that he's going to keep it real and keep it thin. Howard said that he's not on America's Got Talent to look good. Howard said that's what Mel B and Heidi are there for.
Howard said he was sad to read about Joe Biden's son dying. Howard said that he served this country too. Howard said fleet week was on last week so they went out and asked guys what it's like to jerk off on the boat. Howard played some interviews they did out on the street with some sailors who were in town. One guy said he does it in the bathroom but he's seen guys doing it into a rag. They also asked guys if women smell different in other parts of the world. One guy said that the women in the United States smell the best.
Howard said Robin did a story about a restaurant that does a drunk brunch. Howard said that the people in the neighborhood are upset about that. Howard said they interviewed some people there. Howard played a clip of a drunk person talking about how great that drunken brunch was and how if you don't like the noise then you should move where there is no noise. Howard played another clip where another woman said the people who are upset should move. She said it's a free country and they are tax payers so they can do what they want.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what he's going to do if he leaves Sirius and America's Got Talent. Howard said that he doesn't want to talk about what offers he has. Howard said he has decided that he will only do one thing. He said that it will be one thing only.
Howard asked if Melissa McCarthy is there yet. Howard said she's on her way up. He said he'll take a break and talk to her. He said she's in the movie ''Spy'' that she did with Paul Feig. Howard said it sounds like a great idea. Howard said that she can open a movie. Robin said she's funny. Howard said she's also working on the new Ghostbusters. Gary said she's ready now. Fred said they do need a short break though. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said she did that Chris Farley thing on the Saturday Night Live 40th anniversary. Melissa said she didn't think she could do it. She said they asked her to and she didn't think she could. She said she thought Chris was amazing and special. She said that she served him coffee once but that was all. She said she didn't know him. She said she stood there for 45 seconds just locked in on him. She said he was sweet. She said she was probably working at the Groundlings and he came in one morning. Howard said Chris worked so hard at pleasing everyone that he got fried. Melissa said that he seemed very shy and sweet. Howard asked where the picture is that she has. She said it's usually in her dressing room. She said she brings it everywhere now. She said it's an unusual picture of him because it's not him smiling or anything. She said it's a drawing of him that's done in pencil.
Howard asked if she's saddened by the pictures. Melissa said that she thinks a lot of things when she looks at it. She said she thinks about how funny he was and what he would have gotten into if he was still around.
Howard said when she jumped on the desk she smashed it on Saturday Night Live. She said that she got hurt doing that in rehearsal. She said they told her there was no way it could go wrong. She said she landed on the front of the desk and her neck hit the part that didn't move. She said she thought she had broken her neck. Then they changed it so that would break too. Melissa said that was the most nervous she ever was. She said she wore his actual clothes. She said they took it in for her but it had sweat stains. She said she burst out crying when she put it on. Howard said she was so good at it. Howard said he didn't think he'd laugh at it but then she crashed the desk.
Howard asked if she committed to it the second time she did it. Melissa said she figured she's make an ass of herself or nothing would happen. She said that she was shaking before the door opened. She said that someone asked if she was okay because she was shaking so much. She said her husband told her that Chris would go as hard as possible and he told her to go like a freight train. She said she wasn't afraid of hurting herself again.
Howard asked if there's something wrong with performers who are like that. Melissa said yeah. Howard said she was there in front of everyone who had ever been on Saturday Night Live just about. Melissa said everyone saw her in the outfit and they all went ''Aww'' when they saw her. Howard said it could have gone bad. Melissa said Tina Fey wrote that in for her to come out like tat. Howard said that was the highlight for him.
Howard said that he was freaked out that Eddie Murphy didn't do anything. Melissa said that it would have been great if he had done one of this characters. She said that any of his characters would have been great and everyone would have gone crazy. Howard said that's Eddie now. He said you have to beg him to come out there like that.
Howard played some audio from Saturday Night Live where Melissa was doing her Chris Farley impression. He asked if she went to the after party. Melissa said she did and she was on the back of a couch standing. She said that Deborah Harry was there and she was singing along. She said that she begged Elvis Costello to go up and sing for her. She said that he did that. Howard said Prince got up too. Melissa said he did. She said she shoved her way up front. She said that he made his way up to the stage and she just had to make her way up there. She said she was shoving her body to the front. She said that everyone was up front. She said Prince was right there just feet away from her. She said that everyone was taking video on their camera phones and not watching. She said she wanted to just watch. She asked a woman to put her arm down so she could watch and that woman ended up leaving. She said she'd rather leave and not watch than just put down the phone. Howard said that you're missing the experience if you're the cameraman. Melissa said that it freaks her kids out when they see that going on. Howard said it isn't good video either. Melissa said it's like a way to prove you were there and saw this.
Howard said she's working on the Ghostbusters remake now. Melissa said she just wrapped with another movie about 8 days ago. Howard said she did Tammy with her husband and that made like 100 million. Melissa said it did. Howard said that's a pretty cool payday. Melissa said you want it to do well. She said that they wanted it to do well enough to do a second one. She said it's really fun. Robin asked how she gets all of this done. Melissa said she doesn't sleep. She said she has given into sleeping at some point. She said she doesn't need a ton of sleep right now.
Howard said this is her time and she's taking advantage of that. Melissa said she knows she'll turn to poison and she'll sleep then. She said she knows that will happen eventually. Howard asked if she's starting to crack yet. Melissa said not yet. Howard said she's out there promoting the movie ''Spy'' like crazy. Melissa said that the premiere is tonight but she has to do the Tonight Show too. She said she loves this movie and the cast is fun so it's a good time. She said she likes hanging out with the cast. Howard said that it's great that she's playing a super spy like James Bond. She said that she has to figure out the whole spy thing so it's fun to watch that. Howard said that he's laughing because she's in disguise in wigs and stuff. Melissa said that she picked the wigs for the disguises. She said that Paul Feig loved it. She said he's an amazing fellow.
Howard said Melissa has been nominated for 2 or 3 Emmys for Saturday Night Live. Melissa said she can't remember if it's 2 or 3. She said she's making herself sick now. Howard asked if she gets disappointed when she doesn't win. Melissa said no. She said she used to sneak down and watch that show when she was a kid and she just loves that she's able to do the show. She said she doesn't care about the Emmy thing. Howard said she has won for her show Mike and Molly though. She said it feels good to win but she's not upset when she doesn't win.
Howard asked how she feels about the movie and how it will do. She said that she likes it and she thinks it'll do okay. Melissa said she doesn't really worry too much about it but she did when Tammy came out. She said it wasn't doing so well at the start but eventually it did well. She said she likes the outcome in the end. She said that she knows not to read anything about her stuff anymore. She said that people told her not to read the reviews. She only did that because that movie felt like one of their kids.
Howard asked if she'll read the reviews for Spy. Melissa said she doesn't think so. She said there's nothing she can gain from that so she won't do it.
Howard said Melissa worked with Paul Feig on a few things. He said he's doing Ghostbusters. She said he's writing it. She said he is one of the smartest, greatest guys she knows. Howard asked if she would be in anything he did. Melissa said she would. She said he's really fun and he's a happy person. Howard said he would want Melissa to ad lib a lot. Howard asked if Paul lets her do that. She said always. Howard asked how that works. Melissa said they'll do it by the script once and then play with it. She said that if she says something they don't expect there's something spontaneous there and if you get it right then you get the magic. Howard said that it can get stale if you keep doing it by the script word for word.
Howard asked what Ghostbusters is going to be. Melissa said that it's going to be a reboot. She said that Paul is going to make it scarier and he has such a great gut for that stuff. She said that he'll make it right. Howard said it's her, Kristin Wiig, Kate McKinnon and Cecily Strong. Melissa said she's not sure of the whole cast yet. Howard said she worked with so many great people and she's doing so well. Howard said he really liked St. Vincent. Melissa said that was great. She said that it has such a different feel when it's all put together. She said movies should be watched in a group. She said that they were all thrown by how it turned out. She said it was so sweet. Howard said that working with Bill Murray must have been great. Melissa said that she was nervous working with him. She said he's someone you should never actually meet but then you do. She said that she was really nervous about meeting him. She said she told herself not to try to be funny or clever. She said she didn't want to be a jerk either. Melissa said he stormed in and came right at her and moved her arms and was touching her. He said that he had her mouth open and said she had good teeth and things like that. She said after the first minute of that she wondered if he did that because he knew she was freaking out. She said that he must have known. She said she loved working with him. She said he's so skilled. She said he's very subtle and it just works. She said that she feels like she learned a lot from him by just watching him.
Howard said he did scenes with Paul Giamatti in his movie and he thought he was really good in a scene but he was good because Paul was good. Howard said Paul knew how to be subtle. Howard said he grabbed the whole movie. Melissa said Howard was good too though.
Howard said when they talk about Academy Awards she was nominated for Bridesmaids. He said she didn't win. Howard said he wonders why they don't nominated people like Jim Carrey for Ace Ventura and things like that. Melissa said she's not sure why that is. She said there are so many comedies where they don't nominate them. She said comedy isn't as easy as people think. She said that it never really happens. She said they need more murder in comedy.
Howard said the movie opens on June 5th. Melissa didn't even know it was this week. She said Paul Feig is sitting at home screaming ''Come on!''
Howard said that the promotion for the movie must be more fatiguing than the movie. Melissa said that she has done things where she's just starting at a ceiling. She said she did that on a show recently. She said she had no idea what someone had just asked her.
Howard said that the promotion is never ending. Melissa said on this tour she's been asked for lists of things and she just can't do that. She said that she just asks what the next question is. Howard said everything is about lists today.
Howard asked how many months it takes to shoot a movie like Spy. Melissa said that was about 3 months. She said they shot it in Budapest. Howard said that she's even pronouncing it ''Budapesht'' like she's supposed to. She said she has to now that she's been there. Howard said that Jason Statham was in it with her. Melissa said that people are going to be freaked out by how funny he is in this. She said that he's funny in other movies like the Crank movies and things like that. She said that he's really funny in this. Howard said it's funny seeing her in the car chases and things like that. Howard asked how much of it is her in the fight scenes. Melissa said she had a great stunt woman but she tried to do everything she could. She said she was able to do a lot of the stunts. She said she wanted to do what she could as long as the insurance would allow it. She said that she had to have Jason climbing her on a helicopter that was about 60 feet in the air. She said that she had a safety harness on but it was doing weird things to her body. Howard said it has to be hard.
Howard asked what the rehearsal is like for something like that. Melissa said she trained with a marital arts person. She said that the big fight she did was on the first day of shooting. Howard asked why they did that. Melissa said she's not sure but it was the best thing. She said that it was very fast and intense. Howard said she beat her up with a pot. Howard asked if anyone got hurt. Melissa said she was covered in bruises and she threw out her back twice. She said that she had to walk around the pool at the hotel and she slipped and fell on the marble. She said she wrecked her back. She said Paul Feig was there in the hot tub and he was just sitting there not getting up. She said she was about to get a massage and she fucked up her back slipping on the marble by the pool. She said luckily the only person who saw it happen was Paul.
Howard asked if she falls in love with her director even though she's married. Melissa said there is a short hand and an ease there and you do kind of fall for them. She said that someone said watching her talk to Paul is like watching Jodi Foster in Nell. She said that they just make noise. She said she found a real kindred spirit in him.
Howard asked if they bring in a CIA person to vet all of the equipment in the movie. Melissa said there is a guy there for the guns and there was a person who would come in and let her know if things seemed right. Melissa said that they do have you shoot properly and things like that. She said that someone wanted her to put her finger on the trigger but she knows that's not the right way to hold a gun.
Howard asked if she has her own guns. Melissa said that they went to this shooting range once and they didn't think they'd give them guns. She said that they went up and asked for guns and they let them skip the 1 hour lesson. She said that they thought it was hilarious. She said 5 other guys turned around holding live weapons with bullets in them. Melissa said that was the worst idea they ever had so they've never been back.
Howard asked where the kids are when they are in Budapest. She said they all travel together like a carnival family. She said they all stay in a nice hotel or a house. She said that she's pretty much working all the time. Howard asked what she does when the kids are acting up. Melissa said the kids don't care and they come to set and get all upset. She said they just want Craft Service.
Howard asked Melissa about the time she was robbed at gun point in a dry cleaner. Melissa said that was on Wilshire and Santa Monica or something. She said that it was a really busy place in the afternoon. She said the guy had a guy to the owner's ribs and it was the middle of the day. She said that she was really scared. She said that Mr. Kim was very sweet and she was really scared for him. She said the guy had her back pack with everything she owned in it. Melissa said that once he got away from Mr. Kim he held the gun in her face. She said she was crying over her makeup being in the bag he stole. She said she kept crying and followed the guy out of the store asking for her makeup. She said he kept telling her to turn around and get away. She said she thought about getting his license plate. Melissa said you don't follow the gun. She said it was like the pied piper. She said he had no license plate so she stood there crying about that. Melissa said he did end up going to jail though. He left fingerprints in the store. She said it took like a year and a half to get him put away. She said that she went a year or so later and he went to jail for it.
Howard asked about Melissa moving to California and how tough it was at first. Howard said she slept in a friend's kitchen. She said that she had about $60 with her when she got there. She said that half of that went to a cab. She said she lived in a studio apartment in Santa Monica and it was like a shack. She said the landlady hated her guts. She said that she thought she was a whore for living with her friend.
Howard said the friend put her up in the apartment and she stayed in the kitchen. Melissa said both of them stayed in there. She said that they never had anyone over but they both slept in the bed plutonicly. Howard asked if that friend is still in her life. She said he is. She said he's like the brother that she never had. Melissa said she's had the same friends forever. She said she has nice, normal friends.
Howard asked who her friends are that are celebrities. Melissa said that Sandra Bullock is a great person. She said she is so normal. Howard asked if they get together a lot. Melissa said not all that often. She said that they're both busy. She said they do text though.
Howard asked if they have done tracking on this movie ''Spy'' yet. Melissa said she's sure they have. She said Paul is on top of that. Melissa said she thinks this is doing bizarrely well. Howard said she seems to have no problem getting people into the theaters. Howard asked if they have predictions for what they're going to make. Melissa said she's sure there are but she can't do anything about that. Howard asked if she'll call Paul and ask what the numbers are. Melissa said she gets weird charts that she has no idea what the meaning is. She said that she thinks she'll get something down but then it's just nonsense.
Howard said she must be raising her rate for movies. Melissa said she's getting paid in very expensive mascara. Howard said that they have to pay her big bucks and she must get a percentage of the gross. Melissa said sometimes she does. She said it's not all the time. Howard said they want to be excited for her. Melissa said they can be excited for her.
Howard asked Melissa if he lost a lot of weight. Melissa said she's been chipping away at it. She said she doesn't weigh herself. She said she feels better and it's weird. She said that she feels she cracked the code by not cracking the code. She said she just eats what she wants without worrying about it. She said she did want to feel good. Howard said he's still waiting to feel good.
Howard gave her a plug for ''Spy'' and said she should try freezing herself. She said she actually has. Robin told Howard to listen because she just said she's done it. Melissa said she has back problems and she did it for that. Howard said Robin announced to her this morning that she had to take all of her clothes off but her bra. Melissa said that she took her's off. Howard said that doesn't make sense. Melissa said that it works. She said athletes do it.
Howard said he knows she has a large schedule today. He said the movie is in theaters this Friday. He said she's on a wicked tear with her career. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said he has a bunch of things to play but they should get to news. Howard said he can take a couple more calls though. Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he would rate Letterman's last show. Robin said she wanted to ask about that too. Howard said he would rate it a 10. Howard said he was really moved by it. Howard said he was a guest on the show many times but he didn't watch the show that often. Howard said he wasn't caught up in the whole thing. He said the last show had such a great tone to it. Howard said the final Top 10 list was strong too. Howard said it was classy, emotional and funny too. Howard said he left you with the thought of ''Oh no, don't leave.'' Howard said it was very touching and cool. Howard said it was sad to see Dave go.
Robin said Dave took back the curtain and let people behind the scenes too. Howard said it was very cool. The caller said that the top 10 was a 10 too? Howard said he thought it was great. The caller said he was disappointed. He said Julia Louis Dreyfus was the best part. Howard said the overall show was a good connection with the audience. Howard said it was all on point. Howard said the whole thing was kind of neat. Robin said that it was cool how excited Dave was to meet Peyton Manning.
Howard said he's glad he didn't have Leno on the last show. Howard said Dave told him that he didn't know about the Leno thing and how they had asked him to be on.
Robin got to her news and said she discovered something very disturbing. Robin said that she has to thank Melissa McCarthy for mentioning she did the freezing thing. Howard said both of them are nuts.
Robin said that on Star magazine they have a story about Brad Pitt being a secret bi-sexual. Howard said you know that's just B.S. Robin said she bought it. Robin said that two guys told this author two stories about how they were contacted by Brad through some web site for escorts. Robin said both of them claim that Brad had them show up and looked them over, gave them money and sent them on their way. Howard said Richard is probably excited about that headline. Howard said he would blow Brad and Sal. Howard said that sounds like a pretty thin thing there. Robin said she has heard rumors before. Robin said that
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she thinks he looks very thin. Howard said people say he looks too thin. She said he looks like a woman from a distance. Howard said people have been saying that. She told Howard to grow his hair long. She said like back in the 80s. Howard said he looks the way he looks. Howard said he got thin because his belly was hanging over his pants. Howard said please don't talk about the way he looks. He said he knows he's not good looking. He said he's not handsome, sorry. He said he's not Brad Pitt.
Robin read a story about Enrique Iglesias cutting his hand down in Mexico when he reached up to grab a drone during a show. Robin said his hand was cut up by the blades. Robin said he continued the concert though. Robin said you have to think about the drones and what people want to do with them. Howard said we can have them, just don't stick your hands in them.
Howard said for the people who think he's too thin, he can't gain weight. He said he bought all of these clothes that he has to fit in. Howard said this is what the weight is going to be. Howard said Benjy lost a bunch too. Howard asked what he weighs now. Benjy said he's like 193 and he'd like to get down in the 150s. He said he has lost like 46 pounds so far.
Howard said Bruce Jenner may have cut his cock off. Robin said that he's going to be on the cover of Vanity Fair as a woman. Robin said that will be happening sometime this summer. Howard said they went on the street and asked people what they think about putting his penis in the Smithsonian. Howard played some clips of some people commenting on that. Some people were offended but others thought it would be a great idea.
Howard said a lot of people like the Sal thing where his cock is gone. Howard said people are yelling out ''My cock is gone!'' during golf games now. Howard played a bit that they put together with someone yelling that out. Howard said Sal is still shook up from that day. Howard played a song parody where Jim Breuer was singing as Brian Johnson and they had clips of Sal screaming ''My cock is gone!''
Robin said she was watching the Kurt Cobain documentary and she thinks Howard would like it. Howard said he doesn't really care. Robin said it's interesting to see just how creative he was. Robin said there's going to be a Chris Farley documentary too. Robin said that's due in august.
Howard said JD is there. Howard asked how he's doing. JD said he's alright. Howard said he misses hearing him talk. Howard asked if he's still with the girlfriend. JD said he is. Howard said he looks like a married man with the weight gain. JD said he's still the same as he was. He said he's like 210. Howard asked how tall he is. JD said that his girlfriend thinks Benjy looks nice. JD got on the scale and he was at 213. Howard asked how tall he is. JD wasn't sure. He said he thinks he's 5'9'' or 5'10'' but he wasn't sure. He said he might be between 9 and 10. JD said he's just going to say 5'9''. Howard said you can't go between 9 and 10. Howard said he's so weird. Howard said he just says 6'5'' when people ask how tall he is. Howard asked why he says 5'10''. JD said he really wasn't sure. Howard said he has to be sure. JD said he's not. Howard asked when he was last to the doctor. JD said he was there a couple of years ago. He didn't remember exactly. Howard asked how tall he was. JD said he doesn't remember. Howard asked Fred how tall he is. Fred said he's 6'2''. Howard said it must be on JD's license. JD said he doesn't look at it.
Howard asked if he should play that phony phone call he hates. Howard said this kid Chris Wilding called a web cam model show. He said JD ''used to'' call web cam girls and he has done some weird stuff in the past. JD said he wishes he had never said that on the show.
Howard played the call that he was talking about and Chris was talking to a couple of cam models. He said that JD got a web cam girl to put peanut butter on her vagina and had a dog lick it off. The girls said that's sick and disgusting. One of the girls said if she was willing to do it then that's on her. Howard said that JD hates that call. JD said he hates that whole thing being brought up. He wishes he had never brought it up. Robin said that he only cares that he brought it up on the show. He doesn't hate that he did it. JD said he hates that too. Howard said no guys are into that. Howard said he'd like to know what else he has done and doesn't admit to. Gary said that if they go down that road with JD his whole body language changes. He said he gets so upset by it. JD said he knows people who might be listening that he doesn't want hearing this. Howard said it is weird. Robin said that Howard picked JD out of a list to marry his daughter. Howard said that JD was the least worst of the bunch. Howard said that it was Benjy, Ralph and JD. Howard said he wouldn't subject anyone to Ralph.
Howard asked JD if he did jury duty last week. JD said it was a couple of weeks ago. Howard said you'd think they'd let him out as soon as he talks. Howard asked if he had to talk about his past. JD said the case involved drugs. He said they asked if he had been the victim of a crime. He said he had. He said they asked a bunch of questions and they still put him in the jury box. He said he saw a guy nodding off there and the judge asked if he was swayed by seeing some of this stuff. He said he was and they let him go.
Howard asked if things are going okay with his girlfriend. JD said yeah. He didn't sound so positive but JD said things are fine. Howard said he wishes he had tape of his Jury Duty questions. JD said he stood up for all of the questions. He said he was the only one standing up the whole time.
Howard said he only met the girlfriend once but she's always telling everyone how sexy JD is. Howard said that there's a web cam model on the phone. He picked up and there was a dog barking. JD said he's out of there when that happened. Howard told him to stay. Howard asked if that's the freakiest thing he's ever done. JD said it is.
Howard said they have a tape measure to find out how tall JD is. Gary came in a short time later and measured how tall JD is. Gary said that he's 5'9''. Gary said the guys were saying that JD's girlfriend really loves him and talks about how great his eyes and eyebrows are among other things. Robin asked what he did to her. Howard said he put peanut butter on her vagina. JD said ''No. No. No.'' Howard asked if he's going to ask her to marry him. JD said not now. He said they don't even live in the same state. Howard let JD go but had Fred doing his JD impression for a minute. Fred was just mumbling answers for him. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin got back to the news and read about the Chris Farley documentary. She had a few more details about that.
Robin read a story about Kanye West and Kim Kardashian expecting child number 2. Robin said that's just what the world needs.
Robin read a story about Joe Biden's son Beau dying. Howard said he sounded like a great guy. Robin had some details about Beau and had some audio of people talking about him.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said what Robin is doing is crazy. She said she was doing crazy stuff before the last time she got sick. She said that she's thinking about Lucille Ball in a freezer with icicles hanging off her nose.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's glad America's Got Talent is back. Howard said it's back on tomorrow night. The caller said that he liked Piff the Magic Dragon. Howard said he is one of his favorites too. He said he could take it all. The caller said he wonders if Heidi thinks that she can really see better when she does the binocular thing with her fingers. Howard said she thinks it blocks the light so she can see better. He said he told her it doesn't work but she keeps doing it.
Robin read a story about Rick Santorum talking about how he will keep fighting against gay marriage rights. Robin had some audio of him talking about that. Howard said he hears that and he doesn't need to hear more. Howard said that he's just mean. Howard said gay couple so love each other and he doesn't know why anyone would be against it. Howard said that this is a litmus test for him. He said he can't vote for someone like that. Howard said if someone is happy he's happy for them. He said you have to be a miserable prick not wanting two people to be married. Howard said he can't take that person seriously. Howard said he's pissed that politicians even have to answer these questions. Howard said he would never get an abortion but he won't stop someone from doing it. Howard said that they have so many issues to deal with and these things are ridiculous.
Robin said they're saying that NBC wants to try to keep Brian Williams there. Robin said they may not keep him in the Anchor chair but he may have something to do at NBC. Robin said they say that they are about to make a move and let them know what he'll be doing. Robin said right now they say that the chair will be kept by Lester Holt. Howard said Brian can sit in for him at America's Got Talent. Howard said he can sit in all summer.
Robin read about some shootings in Baltimore and how they've had 43 murders in the month of May alone. Robin said that this is all happening since the riots. Robin had some audio of the mayor talking about that.
Robin read a story about how some of the Patriot Act rights have expired. Howard said he's all for the Patriot Act. Howard said he's all for surveillance. Howard said they can watch him all day long. Howard said he does nothing. Robin had audio of a few more people talking about that. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about news man Bob Schieffer retiring. Robin had some audio of Bob talking about how he got started.
Robin read a story about how 50 Cent is on trial for something and they're saying that he's penniless. Robin said he just filed for bankruptcy. Howard said he thought he sold that water thing for like 50 million. Robin said he was at the Mayweather fight talking about laying down a million dollars on a bet. Robin wondered how he's bankrupt. Robin said he did file for it in Connecticut where he has a 50 room mansion.
Robin read about how newscaster Rosanna Scotto's son was caught allegedly stealing a bag and having cocaine on him. Robin said he'll be back in court in August.
Robin read a story about a travel ban that's been put on some Taliban members in Qatar. Robin said they are supposed to stay there but the ban on travel has come to an end. Robin said they are afraid that they will get out of Qatar and get back in the Taliban.
Robin read about an egg shortage at Whataburger that's led to them changing their breakfast hours. Robin said that it's due to a supply issue. Howard asked Robin if she eats eggs. Robin said she does sometimes. Howard said he's been eating some yogurt that's really good. He said he has to tell Robin what the brand is.
Robin read a story about how some college students may be allowed to carry guns on campus in Texas colleges. Robin said that the campus carry law will protect people. Howard asked what could go wrong when drunken frat guys are carrying guns. Howard said they got rid of the guns in Australia and the murder rate dropped drastically. Howard said they did the unthinkable down there. Howard said that there is no more gun violence down there.
Robin read about how gas prices continue to rise. Robin said it's up to an average of $2.84 a gallon. Robin said that's the highest it's been in 6 months.
Howard took a call from a guy who had nothing to say so he hung up on him.
Robin read about how Facebook has a ''real name'' policy and there are people who are protesting like Drag Queens and people like that. Howard said if you don't like it then don't use it.
Robin said that Duane The Rock Johnson had a hit movie at the box office this weekend. They made $53 million at the box office this weekend with San Andreas. Robin said it's his biggest opening ever. Howard said he used to come in there but he hasn't lately. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:10am.
Jon said they have Jamie Denbo and Jessica Chaffin from the movie Spy sitting in this morning. Jon talked to them for a short time.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he knows Howard was in a bad mood today but he wonders what the mood is like in the office with him in that mood. Jon said Howard told them that he wasn't feeling great after America's Got Talent. He said that you don't want to be the one to make any mistake that he can focus on. He said the good thing was when Robin talked about the Cryotherapy and all of the focus was on that. They spent a short time on that and then went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jon said that Melissa is a big fan of Paul's and she said today that she'll do anything that he asks her to. Paul said that they all have the same sense of humor and they all like working together. One of the girls said that the sense of humor isn't high brow. Paul said that in Freaks and Geeks they had a lot of fart jokes. He said there was at least one a week in the show.
Jon asked if it's important to keep the team together. Paul said that you do find the people you want to work with and you have to create the chemistry sometimes and sometimes it comes organically. He said that with Bridesmaids they had an organic chemistry with Maya and Kristin. He said with Spy Miranda Hart had never met Melissa but they were fans of one another. He said they became friends because of it. One of the girls said that what's cool is that the cast has chemistry and Paul does such a great job with casting. She said that Melissa has a chemistry with Paul and you can see that coming through on camera. Paul said that he ruins takes himself. He said that they just have fun doing it.
Jon asked if being a Howard fan is a big part of that whole thing. Paul said that's a litmus test for him. He said that Melissa loves Howard as much as they all do.
Jon brought up JD and how he didn't know how tall he was. Paul said he will defend JD all day long but he can't defend him on that. Jon asked why JD couldn't just say what height he was. One of the girls said maybe he was trying to see what people would accept. Paul said he loves JD so much. He said they've had lunch together.
Jon took a call from a guy who said they were talking about Howard being in a bad mood and he got pissed about a clip not being there. He asked how that went when he went right to break. Jon said Howard just moved on.
Gary came in and said that he bumped into Beth at the Entourage movie last week. He said that she told him that Howard was already in a bad mood and that was last Wednesday. Gary said that you know it's going to be bad after that. Gary said that they were psyched that Melissa was going to be on today because that's an hour that they won't get yelled at. Gary said Robin's freezing thing took up another half hour so they were lucky today.
One of the girls asked if they rely on that stuff or do they set things up to keep Howard off of them. Gary said that they used to throw each other under the bus and they would do that to keep Howard off their ass.
One of the girls asked if Mariann makes things worse or better for everyone. Gary said that she called late in the show so it's hard to say. Jon said it's all in the timing of it.
Gary said they could tell when Howard was in a bad mood when that guy called in with the game to play and Howard just moved on to play his own game. He said that King of All Blacks called in after that and even he bored Howard. He said you have to make your point quickly when Howard is like that. They spent a little more time on that and then went to break.
One of the girls said that Paul has nothing to be ashamed of being in shorts. Gary said if he saw Howard fall he'd probably just think about how he might be out of a job.
One of the girls said that 50 Cent was on the movie and he was in the schvitz a lot. She said she'd try to time it to go to the gym around the same time he was there. She said he would come out at the same time she was going into the pool. She said she didn't want him to see her in a bathing suit but he always did. Gary said 50 is coming on the show soon. Gary said he and 50 were talking about their first pitches and how bad they went for both of them.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he listened to Sternthology the whole time he was driving this weekend. He said that he gets this vibe from the show where everyone seems to wonder if they're really friends or not. He asked if they really are friends or not. Gary said that it's closer than Howard and Letterman. Gary said Howard is his boss.
Jon took a call from a guy who said most people are able to come out and answer a question like a filing cabinet. He said JD is like someone whose filing cabinet was blown all over the room by a fan. Gary said today was JD's pure vanity. He said he wants to be taller than he is. He said most people give you a pass but Howard didn't. Jon said JD over thinks so much that you end up hearing the nonsense coming out of his mouth.
Gary said he and Benjy got into an argument about his weight when he asked him how much he lost and he said either 32 or 39. Gary said they ended up arguing because Benjy didn't remember when he weighed himself last.
Jon said one thing he wants to cover is Robin announcing the Cryotherapy thing. Jon asked if this is one to add to the list and laugh at. Gary said yes. He said there was a great moment today when Mariann called in and said that Robin was heating herself up a couple of years ago and she didn't remember that. Gary said it was a great moment on the show. Jon said Robin will try anything. Paul said the coffee enemas were a highlight to him.
Gary said Robin beat cancer so just lay low. He said he doesn't get this. The girls said that she's just trying to stay in the right place. Gary said that Robin used to hang out with some women who called themselves the Goddesses. He said that was fun too.
Jon asked Paul if he thinks Howard should take on another film role. Paul said he should and he should do it with him. He said that he would love to bring Howard back to the big screen. Gary said he had a lot of fun watching Howard make that movie. He said he was one of the few people who portrayed himself in the movie. One of the girls said that Matt Leblanc is doing that on his show.
Jon asked Rahsaan for the results of the poll. Here's how that turned out:
Jon got in some plugs for the movie ''Spy'' and for today's Sternthology. They ended the show around 11:50am.
Howard started the show singing along with his opening theme song. He asked if everyone is talking about Caitlyn Jenner today. Howard said a couple of weeks ago he said that's what the name was going to be. Howard said this was two weeks ago. He said it wasn't going to be Belinda and it was going to be Caitlyn. Robin said that's also the most feminine spelling of the name too.
Howard said he asked Richard Christy if he would bang Caitlyn. Richard told him that she looked good but he used to be a guy. then he asked if he'd do that to Sal if he got the operation and he didn't answer.
Robin said she mentioned that Brad Pitt might be bi-sexual yesterday. Howard said that was in a stupid rag paper. Howard asked Richard who he'd do between Brad and Caitlyn. Richard said he might have to do Caitlyn. He said sorry to Brad Pitt.
Howard said if you see that Bruce Jenner show then you see Bruce as a woman. Howard said the pictures on Vanity Fair are completely retouched. Howard said he's a 65 year old man who has skin hanging on his neck. Howard said this is the face of a young person on the Vanity Fair cover. Richard said he loves that his legs are closed very tight. Robin said his hands are behind his back too. Howard said here is a lot of hair extensions and makeup going on there too. Howard said that there are hair extensions there. Howard said he supports Bruce and his transgendering. He said you can do that all day long if you want. Richard said they've done it there. Howard said not for the same reason Bruce is though.
Howard asked Richard if he's still drinking heavily. Richard said he's cut down. Howard said he's probably down to 2 cases a day.
Howard said he asked Ronnie if he would bang Caitlyn. He said ''I don't think so.'' Howard said that he guarantees he wouldn't bang her. Robin said she thinks that he would if he was on a deserted island. Howard said no way. Howard said he would just jerk off. Howard said he'd think about girls he fucked in the past.
Howard said he heard Richard lost interest in Bruce when he cut his penis off. Richard said no. He said he's a hero. He said he supports what he's doing. He said he thinks that it's cool.
Howard said he read that some guy claims he had sex with Bruce but Bruce was claiming he was into women. Howard said he's a gay man. Robin said that his hormone replacement may change that. Howard wondered if he still has his cock. Fred said he's not sure if he's had the operation. Richard said he was staring at his crotch in the pictures and he thinks it's still there. Howard said he heard he had the operation. Richard said maybe he's sitting on them.
Howard said RadarOnline reported last week that he had the operation. Howard wondered if he's fully healed. Richard said he's not sure how that stuff works. Robin said it takes time. Howard said he read that story and they said he was dealing with a lot of pain from the operation. Howard said there's a lot of pain involved in that. Robin said you have to heal and do the stretching thing. Richard said they should get Ronnie's thoughts on this. Howard said he thinks Ronnie would bang Caitlyn.
Ronnie came in so Howard asked him if he would bang him. Ronnie said he was a guy and everyone knows he was a guy. He said if you were in a bar and you were hanging out drinking maybe you wouldn't know until you got down there. Howard said he'd know. Howard said he doesn't look anything like that Vanity Fair cover. Howard said he looks like a dude in a wig. Ronnie said Howard said he would fuck some guy who turned into a broad. He said it was that playboy chick or something. Howard said he never said that. Ronnie told him not to play stupid now.
Howard said Gary said he would let Caitlyn blow him. Howard asked Gary if he cares to explain that. Gary came in and said that he was joking around about the desert island. Howard said Caitlyn would have a beard by then. Howard said Gary is working off that Vanity Fair photo. Howard said in 5 years that Caitlyn is going to be 70.
Fred did his impression of what Caitlyn would sound like doing his Nicole Bass/Herman Munster voice. Howard had a little discussion with her. Fred's voice was going high and low as he spoke to Howard. He said his pussy looks like a deflated football. Howard asked if she'd have sex with Richard. She said she'd do that in a second. She said she'd be on top.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard he still has his cock. He also said that people are saying he looks like Jessica Lange. Howard said Bruce does not look like that person on the cover of that magazine. Howard said he has about 900 pounds of makeup on there. Howard said it's got to be photoshopped. Howard said there's no way it's not retouched. Robin said she's not sure if he had boobs when he was interviewed by Diane Sawyer. Howard said he had little nubs and now he has a full chest.
Howard asked Ronnie if he would tittie fuck her. Ronnie said no. He said they don't even look real in the pictures. He said it looks life they stuffed stuff in there. Howard said Jessica Lange says she's flattered by that comment about her. Howard said he doesn't believe that's a compliment.
Howard asked Richard if he would fuck Sal if he got the change. Richard said he might be able to. He said that he might make a pretty girl. He said he has nice hair and all of that. Ronnie said his hair is fake. Richard said it is not.
Robin said Bruce hasn't gone through that year of trying to learn how to be a woman yet. She said that she's not sure that her voice would change much though.
Howard talked to Fred as Caitlyn some more. Fred had some fun going up and down with his voice. Howard said that shit cracks him up.
The caller said there are rules about how you're supposed to talk about transgender people. He said you never use the word transgender as a noun. He read that you're not supposed to say her previous name. Howard said you can refer to Bruce as a different person though. Howard said he thinks he can figure that all out. Ronnie asked what took so long for him to do it. Howard said it's embarrassing. Ronnie said he's 65 though. He said he just doesn't get it. Howard said these are the conversations they have in the car together. Howard said this is what you'd hear in the car if you could sit in.
Ronnie wondered what he does with the cum if he has sex with a guy. Howard said you have to clean out your pussy with some device. The caller asked what you do with a real doll. Ronnie said you wash it out in the sink. Ronnie said that he actually didn't clean it out. He left it in there. Howard said he talks to Ronnie and feels like he's talking to the world's creepiest 5 year old.
Howard asked Caitlyn (Fred) more questions about what she does. Howard said there is no doubt in his mind that Bruce Jenner will be sucking cock and fucking dudes. Ronnie asked if there are guys who will fuck him knowing who he is. Howard said sure. He said anything goes today. Howard said if Caitlyn was at Ricks's Cabaret dancing around he'd do something. Ronnie said he might let someone like that give him a hand job if he didn't know who he was. He said it would have to be dark.
Richard asked if they can take the Vanity Fair into the bathroom and pleasure themselves. Howard said they can do whatever they want. He said he'd just have to do it at home. Howard said he can't beat off to magazines. He said he needs video. Howard said the man made vagina is never in the right place. It's always 5 inches too high. Ronnie said you could fuck her against the wall though. He said that would be the right spot for that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she was going to talk about the retouching of the photos. She said she read an article that she went through a 10 hour operation on her face after the January interview. Howard said that he's been doing it for years. She asked if they're going to get a lot of shit for doing retouching of that.
Howard said he always thought Annie Leibovitz was against retouching but maybe not. Robin said not the fashion photography. Howard said you have to do it in fashion photography. Howard said it's a nice image but Caitlyn doesn't look like that on TV. Robin said that she's shocked that they don't show her hands and feet.
The caller said that she wanted to thank him for turning them on to Royal Blood. Howard said they are unbelievable. Howard said they are so good with just a singer and a bass player. Howard said they will be debuting their new video on HowardStern.com. Howard asked if it's on there now. Gary said yes. Howard said that they could have written something easier. Howard said that he can't interpret these notes they give him. He said they're going to be live on the show on Tuesday, June 9th.
Howard said they should come up with an award to give to Caitlyn so they can get her on the show. Howard said they're stupid. Richard said they should come up with an award. Howard said that's what he just said. Howard said they could name her the new Miss Howard Stern. Ronnie said he could make her Hot Chick of the Week. Robin said she broke the internet too. She got 1 million followers in an hour.
Howard said his thoughts are amazing. He thanked KC for calling. Howard said he can't believe these comments. Howard said Caitlyn would fuck KC. Howard said he thinks that KC is going after Caitlyn's money. He said he's like a gigolo. KC said maybe he is.
KC said you have to admit that his doctors did a great job. Howard asked KC what he's calling in to promote today. KC said he got his shit together and he doesn't need to promote anything. Robin asked how he got his shit together. KC said he's interviewing successful women on a radio station at WRNW1. Howard asked if he's paid for that. KC said he made more money this year than he ever did there. Howard said he's not goofing on him. KC said he'd be proud of him. He said he has Howard to thank for that. Howard said he's proud of him.
Howard asked what famous women he's interviewing. KC said they're not famous, they're successful. He said that he interviewed a woman the other day who only had 500 to her name and she ended up starting a business and now she's worth millions. Howard let KC go after that. They played him out with another song parody.
Howard played another song parody about KC and talked about some of the stories KC used to tell on the air and how crazy some of them were. Richard said he loved the story about him losing that money on the gambling web site. Gary said that was over $300,000. Howard said that he owed a lot of money to people at the time too. He said he was on the balls of his ass. Howard said he was gambling and he started playing cards and won a royal flush pay out of like over $300,000. Howard said he was thrilled but then thought maybe he'd take some of that and turn it into more. He went on a binge losing streak and lost every dime of it. Gary said that KC was going to buy an apartment and all of that. Gary said KC told him that he was playing 6 hands at a time at $500 a hand. He said he lost it all. He won the dream and lost it.
Gary said he heard a story about Con-Ed coming to shut his electric off. He said that he faked a check writing to keep the guy from shutting it off. Howard said KC seems to be doing well now. He said he's proud of him.
Richard said he liked the shirtless poster he had. He said he bought one of those. Howard said the story about how that came about was great. He said that the photographer was a German guy who got him to strip down.
Richard said that Gary smells amazing today. Howard said he goes sour real quick so smell him in 4 hours or so. Gary said it's either his soap or shampoo. Gary said he doesn't wear cologne. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Bill told Howard to keep it a secret that he's still having sex with Hillary. He said he doesn't want his girlfriends finding out. Howard said that he was hoping he'd comment on Hillary's email scandal. Bill had jokes about all of the stuff Howard was asking about.
Howard said that some critics say that Hillary has no vision. Bill said he has no vision either. He asked if he's seen some of the chick's he's boned.
Bill said he was thinking about Caitlyn. He said she is one hot he/she. He said that she has to lose her cock like Sal. Howard said she did lose her cock. He said then they need to photoshop better than that. Howard let Bill go after that.
Howard took a call from Gay Ramone who said that he was inspired by Caitlyn and he wants to do the same thing but his boyfriend would leave him. Howard said Ramone doesn't want to be a woman. Ramone said he's been practicing his female voice. He did it for Howard but it was still his voice. Howard said he's so confused. Howard said Ramone doesn't want to be a woman. Howard said he just wants attention.
Robin asked if every guy who dresses like a woman wants to lose their stuff down there. Howard said no. Howard said some guys don't want to lose their cock.
Howard said he has a list of dos and don'ts for when you meet Caitlyn or someone like her. Howard read a couple but asked Gary to capsulize them. He said it's too long. Howard said they know what to do. He quickly gave up on reading the list.
Howard said that people were commenting on Robin's Cryotherapy. He said Bobo was looking into it. Howard had him on the phone. Bobo said this is a dangerous thing to do. Howard said Robin gets caught up in the latest fads and she used to heat herself up too. Robin said she still heats herself up. Howard said that this isn't going to do anything for her. Howard said that they got the tape of her in her Cryotherapy chamber. He played a bit they created with clips of Robin.
Howard said that Charlie Sheen called in with a message for Robin. He played the fake Charlie talking about how crazy it is to freeze yourself like that.
Howard played a song parody about Robin's Cryotherapy. Howard also read some email they got about that subject yesterday. Howard had a bunch of people who thought she was out of her mind for doing it.
Howard said that he had a F, Marry, Kill for Robin. It included Simon Cowell and Robin said she isn't happy with Simon for trying to take Howard's job. Howard said Simon called and told him he had nothing to do with that. He said Simon claims he had no desire to come back. He said that was all NBC writing that stuff and he didn't want to come back. Robin said that now she has Dr. Drew and Benjy in the F, Marry Kill. Robin said she's going to marry Drew and have sex with Benjy.
Howard said that a lot of people liked Memet's grandmother who said he looked sick. Howard said that there are people who think Riley Martin's show is too short. Howard said that he has some audio from last Friday's Riley Martin show. Howard said that people were writing in saying that he's not sounding good and Eron agreed. Howard played a clip of Riley slurring through his show and barely being able to speak. Riley sounded like he had something in his mouth. Howard said he sounds like Dick Clark after his stroke.
Howard said Riley was saying that he's been doing so much with the aliens that it's taken a toll on his health. Howard played a clip of Riley talking about that. Riley said that the information he's been getting about the aliens has been taking a toll on his brain. Robin said it's really taking a toll on him. Robin said Howard thought it was food poisoning.
Howard said Riley has bullshit pouring out of his ears. Howard said Jay Thomas hates the crossovers with Riley but Riley hates them even more. Howard played a clip of the two of them talking and Jay told Riley he's not even going to talk and he can just start his show. Riley went right into his show. Riley was trying to say something but Jay interrupted and asked a question and then told him to go ahead with his show. Howard said later in the show Riley brought it up again. Howard played another clip of Riley talking about Jay cutting into his show time.
Howard said Riley does not sound good. Howard played a clip of his heavy breathing. Robin said maybe they should see him one more time because it doesn't sound like he's got long.
Howard played a clip of Caitlyn Jenner talking in some interview. Howard said he couldn't get enough of that. Howard said he saw the Vanity Fair picture and then some behind the scenes stuff. He said there was video too. Howard played some of the audio from that behind the scenes stuff. Robin said he still sounds very masculine. Howard told her to give him a chance. Howard played the Riley Martin breathing clip again.
Ron said his mom had her when she was 30. He said that his memories of her were of her in her late 30s. Howard said she had a kick ass body and he could see up her dress sometimes. He said that's what he thinks he remembers. Howard said she had big tits too. Howard said that's what he remembered. Ron said that she didn't have big ones actually. Howard asked what kind of photos he has of her. Ron said he has some from college. Howard said he'd like to see if she's as hot as he remembers her being. Ron said he thinks that she might be.
Howard asked what got her. Ron said that she had cancer. He said he mentioned Howard in the eulogy. He said he thought it was amazing. Howard asked if she was a teacher her whole life. Ron said that she actually stopped when she married his dad. Howard said she wasn't good because she was too distracting. He said he only had her for a short time though. Howard said she turned him into a drooling retarded person. Howard thanked Ron for the call. He asked him to send the photos over. He put him on hold so he could set that up.
Howard said that teacher was hot. He said he was hot for teacher like that Van Halen song. Howard said in his mind she was hot. Howard said he thought she was a real woman. Fred played Van Halen's ''Hot for Teacher'' as Howard was talking about Mrs. Weinstock. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he thinks Caitlyn Jenner would be doing this if Chaz Bono hadn't paved the way. Howard said that it's not getting easier for the transgender out there. Howard said most people who are transgender are having a tough time. Howard said people pick on them and beat them up. He said he's not sure why it bothers people. He said he doesn't care. Howard said everyone is a bit of an oddball and a tool when it comes down to it. Howard said maybe Chaz made it easier. Howard said maybe these two will help someone growing up now. Robin said it's a struggle for these people and it can be very confusing to them.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she always defends Howard but he's calling her a man. Howard said that he believes Bruce Jenner is attracted to men and when he makes that transition he will move on to men. He said he's just going by the seat of his pants. Howard said he thinks he will be with a man. The caller also asked Fred to stop doing the voice. Howard said she has to get a sense of humor. She said she has one and she has always supported Howard. Howard said there is humor in it. Howard told her not to get ultra sensitive. Howard said that Bruce will be with men. He said that's his belief. Howard said this brings up why we have to make this okay in our society. Howard said he's not sure why he's arguing with her. Howard told her to go argue with some hillbilly in the sticks.
Howard took a call from Monotone Matt who brought up banging donkeys and ponies and asked if he knows anyone who was forced to do that. Howard said Matt jerked off on a dog. He said that the sex with animals thing is way out of hand. Howard said that it's wrong and you should go kill yourself if you do that. Howard said that he's fine with people doing stuff that doesn't hurt anyone else. Howard said he read a story about having sex with animals and how it can give you cancer. Howard said that it was in some science thing. Howard read some of the article.
Howard said that he didn't know that Matt was a musician. Howard said he's into techno music and it's not horrible. Howard said he does find techno to be horrible but Matt's isn't so bad. Howard played some of his song and said you can see him on YouTube. Howard said that you can see his wife too. Howard said it sounds as good as any other shit they call music. Howard asked why they call the song ''No Museum.'' Matt said he doesn't really know. Howard said even Matt doesn't know why he called it that.
Howard said he has another song called Then Another. Howard played some of that and asked why he calls it that. Matt said sometimes things are one way and then another. Howard said that's so weird. He said he names a song and doesn't know why he called it that.
Howard said this is the exact opposite of his James Taylor interview. Howard said that he's not sure why he named songs the way he did. Howard thanked Matt for the call.
Howard took a call from Captain Janks who said he made a new call to the EWTN network. Howard said it's a religious network. Howard had the call to play. Howard said they were talking about the shroud of Turin. Howard played the call and Janks asked if they think that the image on the shroud could be Howard Stern's penis. The host and his guest were talking about it being the actual shroud and not a picture. The host told Janks that for what he's looking for he can find in purgatory.
Howard found out that Janks had a guy with him. Howard said that he wanted to talk to him. Josh got on the phone and Howard found out he's 23. He asked if he's a power bottom. Josh laughed. Howard asked if he is. Josh said he is not. He said he could call him a twink. He said he is usually hairless. Howard asked how big Janks' penis is. Josh said that it's like 8 inches. Howard asked to put his penis in his mouth and talk to him. Josh said that isn't appropriate.
Howard asked if they do anal. Josh said no. Howard asked if they wrestle. Josh said no but he'd be into that. Howard asked if he ate his asshole out. Josh said he didn't. He said Janks didn't eat his out either. Howard said this doesn't sound like fun. He asked if he swallowed his load. Josh said he didn't. He said he usually spits it in his face. Howard said ''Oh man...'' Robin asked where Janks finishes. Josh said that he usually finishes in a sock because he usually finishes himself off.
Howard asked Janks what his freaky scene is. Janks said he has to clean up the mess so he tries not to make one. He said that it's not a prank after all this time. Howard said he knows that. Janks said that he's a power top but this guy isn't into that so much. He said he doesn't have a problem with that. Janks said that sometimes the other guy is open to other things. He said they've only been together for 3 weeks so they're just starting to get into things. Howard wondered what they're waiting for.
Howard asked to speak to Josh again. Josh got on and Howard asked him to tap on the phone once if he needs to be rescued. There was no tap. Josh just laughed. Howard let them go after that. Howard said he has to take a break. He said Robert Duvall is coming in with his wife soon. Howard said he's the greatest. Howard said he was one of the last guests on Letterman and he said something about the new guy who is taking over for him not being funny. Howard said it's really funny. Howard had a clip. He played the clip
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said Bobby Duvall will be in soon. Howard said he's not sure what he's promoting but he's sure he has something going on.
Robin asked Howard about Caitlyn Jenner and Kourtney Kardashian who supposedly isn't letting Caitlyn be around her kids. Robin asked what he would do. Howard said he wouldn't keep the kids away. Howard said he's very accepting of people's lifestyles. He said you don't keep them away. Howard said that his niece was young and she once asked about his cousin who was gay and she wondered if he was a boy or a girl. Howard said he told her that he's a boy and she was fine. Howard said that's all she needed to know. Howard said that he was wearing clogs and she wondered about that. Howard said he just said that he's a boy who wears clogs. He said it's that easy. Howard said that he won't let Fred around his kids but he has no problem with others being around his kids.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Cryotherapy is not good for you. He said he's an emergency room nurse and they don't do this kind of thing unless they want to induce hypothermia. He said that they use ice packs for small injuries too. Howard said that he's worried about what's next for Robin.
Howard said he has a couple of things to play. He had a cup of warm water and Robin said maybe that's not good for him. Howard said it is good for him. Howard said that she should talk to him about what's good for her. Robin said she was worried about Howard the other day when he said something about getting together with her ''or maybe not.'' She said she's worried that he's going back into isolation. Howard said he is. Howard said they can get together when he retires. Howard said he thinks she's asking him to go freeze up with her. Robin said she is bringing him a pamphlet about the Cryotherapy thing. Howard told her not to because it will only upset him.
Howard said he had an update on Jeff the Vomit guy but Robin didn't want to hear that. Howard said he has an update on Angry Alice. Howard played a clip of her yelling on their voicemail about how both Howard and Ralph are gay. Howard said then in another voicemail she's angry with Gary the Conqueror, formerly Gary the Retard. Howard played that clip too. Alice said she lost it with Gary when he called her a bitch. She went off on him for a few seconds.
Howard said that Wendy the Slow Adult has a crush on him. He played a bit the guys put together with clips of Howard and Wendy to make it sound like they were having a conversation.
Howard moved on to Jeff the Vomit Guy since Robin changed her mind about that. Howard said Jeff talks about how he meets women to vomit on him. It was a clip of Shuli talking to Jeff about all of that. Howard said Jeff has a roommate now too. Howard said he knew Robin would be interested in this. Robin did sound interested. Jeff said that she is a black lady and she doesn't give two shits about what he does. Jeff said that it goes in one ear and out the other.
Howard said just imagine the shock of that woman. He said she'll never speak to another white person. Howard said that poor woman. Howard said if you ever want an insight into anyone just listen to what their parents were like. Howard played a clip of Jeff the Vomit Guy talking about what his mother would say to him as a child. They would say that he wasn't human. Howard said his dad did that. He said he's still not sure if he's human.
Howard said that Hanzi calls the office a lot and leaves a lot of angry voicemail. Howard said that he calls angry and then calls back with an apology. Howard played one of Hanzi's angry messages where he went off on Gary for not having any balls. He wished the worst on Howard and said he hopes the worst happens to him and his three daughters. Hanzi yelled a ''fuck you!'' at the end of that. Howard said it turns out Hanzi's nuts.
After that message Howard played a clip of Hanzi calling and apologizing for what he said on the show after reading a recap. He said that he's sorry for what he said. He said that he knows he blew it with Jimmy Kimmel. He said that he knows he would have blown it either way. Howard said he can't just apologize. He said he gets wound up all over again. Howard played a song parody about Hanzi and then went to break.
Howard came back and said that Godfather was a good movie. Howard said that was not Robert Duvall's favorite movie though. He said that's Lonesome Dove. Robin said that's a TV show though. Howard said Robert and his wife are there. Howard said Luciana is gorgeous. Howard said he wants to talk to her. Howard asked where Robert is. She said he didn't show up. Howard said he can't imagine what it's like being married to her. Luciana said it's fun. She said he said hello to a blow up doll last time they were there.
Luciana said sometimes Robert can't see. She said one time a black SUV showed up and she waved and Bobby started waving but he didn't see that it was Mark Wahlberg. He just can't see sometimes.
Howard asked people bring up that she married a man 41 years older than her. She said not really. She said that it's hard to keep up with him. She said that he's great in every area. Howard said she could have had any guy she wanted. Luciana said she was 23 when they married. She said they've been together for almost 20 years. She said he wasn't her first. She said that she lived with a boyfriend before.
Robert showed up and Howard said he couldn't handle it alone with her. Bobby said that Howard is looking older than he is. Howard said he's the greatest actor of all time. Bobby said he used to be. Howard said that Bobby sent her in thinking he couldn't handle it but he can. Howard said that she told him that he satisfies her and gives it to her in a big way. Luciana laughed.
Howard said Bobby is the only adult from To Kill a Mockingbird to be alive. Howard said that was a good film. Howard said he loved what he said to Letterman about the guy who is replacing him not being funny. Howard said Letterman didn't like that.
Howard asked what he makes of this Caitlyn Jenner thing. Robert asked who that is. Howard said she's Bruce Jenner. Robert said if she's tall enough she could date Howard. Howard said it's a strange thing, right? Robert said he doesn't know. He said it is strange. Howard asked if he would ever go with a woman who used to be a man.
Robert asked why they're not on TV anymore. Howard said they ended Howard TV. Robert said one of the last times he saw him was when he had Al Sharpton on to judge a beauty contest.
Howard asked if he's going to vote for Hillary Clinton. Robert said probably not. He said he'll probably vote Libertarian. He said that someone who isn't even up. Howard said they have a long road ahead but he'd probably vote Clinton. Robert said ''come on.'' Howard said that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. Robert said the second worst maybe.
Howard said he loves Robert Duvall. He said he hopes he can be in shape like he is when he's his age. Robert said he's too heavy. He said he can't be over 200 pounds. Howard asked why he has put on weight. Robert said he likes to eat. He said he took some off for the Oscars and that stuff doesn't fit him anymore.
Howard said J.K. Simmons beat him out. Robert said that he beat him out and he was very good in that movie. He said he thought he might not win. Robert said that Michael Strahan should be the host. Robert asked if Howard has ever done it. Howard didn't know what he was talking about. He said he can't keep up.
Howard said Robert has said that he's not good husband material. Howard said this is his fourth wife. Robert said that she's a great wife. He said that she calls him pumpkin. He said she's very independent. He said that she's 50 paces ahead of him every time. He said she's very individual. Howard said he doesn't want to be an 84 year old guy walking with a cane. Robert said he would get rid of that quick.
Howard said that they dated for 8 years. Howard said he dates his for 9. Howard said his first one was 5 years. Robert said Howard's first wife won't even talk to him now. Howard asked how he knows.
Howard said he can't think of a clunker that Robert has done. Robert said they just did a movie called Wild Horses and Luciana is in it. He said James Franco is in it too. He mentioned a couple of others who are in it with him too.
Howard asked if it gets harder as you get older. Robert said he thinks he did a good job in The Judge. Howard said he really was good in that. Howard said he liked that scene where he was in the shower with Robert Downey Jr. Robert said that he turned the movie down because of that scene but he figured he had to do it. Howard said Robert Downey Jr. is hard to keep up with. Howard said he can change a scene around as they're doing it. Robert said he can improvise just as good as anyone. He said that everyone in that movie was great. Howard asked if he improvised at all. Robert said he will do that if they want him to. He said they cut one scene where he did.
Howard said that he has to talk about Robert Duvall. He said his mother was an actress and his father was in the Navy. Robert said his father was in at 16. He said his mother ran the show though. Howard said Robert served in the army too. Robert said that was only 6 moths. He was drafted.
Howard said that Robert was roommates with Dustin Hoffman and he once came home and found him in the shower with a woman and tried to get in there with them. Luciana told Howard to ask him about some other woman and Howard asked if she gets jealous when he brings up his old conquests. She said no. She said that she doesn't mind it when he's doing love scenes in movies.
Howard asked if Robert ever caught Dustin Hoffman masturbating. Robert said he found him with a couple of women in the shower but that's about it. He said he did find Dustin as a mess one morning and he had to send him to Bellvue. Howard asked if he's still in touch with Dustin. He said not really. He said he has run into him and when they do run into each other it's like no time has passed. He said they have no bad blood or anything.
Howard said that Robert and Luciana fell in love in Argentina. Howard said Luciana walked up to him and had no idea who he was. Robert said she knew who Daniel Day Lewis was but not him. Howard said he must have scared her. Luciana said that he was in The Scarlet Letter. Robert said that was a horrible movie. Robin agreed.
Howard asked who the worst actor was that he worked with. Robert named some Austrian actor but Howard asked him to give him someone he knows. Howard asked about these method actors and what he thinks about them. Robert said he doesn't do that but he has used that to get emotional.
Howard asked what kind of stunts they pulled on the set of Godfather. Robert said that he and Brando mooned each other once. He said that someone asked if he caught the balls on Brando when he mooned. He said Brando got lazy as the years went on. He said he forgets his lines at times too though.
Howard asked Luciana what Robert's worst traits are. Luciana said that he has a short temperament. Robert said she's tough to direct. He said she's a natural though. He said that she didn't have to go to an acting school. He said she knew how to work the cops in Argentina. He said that she is very good at that. Howard asked if it's a mistake to work with his wife in a movie. Howard said you have to be able to say that something didn't work.
Howard asked what will happen if Robert dies before Luciana. He asked if he would want her to remarry. Robert said he would hope she'd find someone. He said it's up to her.
Howard asked if he's a jealous man. Robert said he was in the beginning. He said that he did get upset that she was talking to a guy once early on. Luciana said he's so cute. Howard said that's real cute.
Robert said that he won't say that everyone will love this movie. He said he doesn't expect everyone to love it. He said there are good actors in it. He said James Franco is excellent. He said the movie is kind of a western. He said he rides a horse in it.
Howard asked who the biggest pain in the ass was in The Godfather. Robert said Jimmy Caan is the funniest. He said he is very talented too. Howard asked if he's close to anyone but Luciana. Howard said he gets the feeling they're hermits. Robert said they are kind of hermetic. Howard asked if they speak Spanish to each other. Luciana said not that much.
Howard asked about Luciana's family and found out that her father is only 60. Robert is 84. Howard said he hasn't seen many guys his age so spry. Howard asked if Robert gets jealous if some other man dances with her. Robin said he doesn't mind that at all. He said the younger guys can dance longer than he can.
Howard asked if Robert is napping a lot. Robert said he does nap a lot. He said he likes to read a lot. He told Howard about a book he's reading now and some others that he's read recently. He told Howard about the Comanche's since he had read a book about them.
Howard asked if he feels that he's running out of time and he has to rush to do stuff. Robert said that he was supposed to play Don Quixote but that project didn't work out.
Howard asked if Robert takes selfies at all. Robert didn't know what that was. Howard asked Luciana why she doesn't do Dancing with the Stars. She said it's too hard. She said she can't remember steps like that.
Robert and Luciana said they are watching a lot of Tom Hardy movies lately. Robert said that he's like the new Brando.
Howard said that the new movie is coming out on Friday. He said it's available on demand too. Howard asked if they make someone like James Franco audition for the movie. Robert said no. Robert said that his instincts are good.
Howard said he's going to mention some names and do word association with them. Howard mentioned Al Pacino. Robert said ''good actor'' for him. Howard mentioned a few others and Robert didn't know a bunch. He said George Clooney is a good actor. He said Angelica Houston was good. He said that he worked with her in a movie. He said that she gave him a gift of someone singing for him.
Howard asked Robert about an actress who offered him favors to be in a movie. Robert said he can't remember that very well.
Howard asked Robert about ISIS. Robert said that's very complex. He said we can't fight everyone's war. Howard asked about Judi Dench. Robert said she's very talented. Steve McQueen was mentioned and Robert said he's okay. He said John Wayne was a better actor than people give him credit for.
Howard said that Robert and Luciana are a great couple. Howard said their movie opens on Friday. Robert said he'd be happy if 2 million of his listeners went to see it. He said not everyone will like it though. He said it's off hand.
Luciana and Robert talked about making their movie and some of the people who are in it. Howard said it sounds like something he'd like. Luciana told them more details about the movie and Howard wondered what they're worried about.
Robert told Howard about why he doesn't read reviews. He said that there are some who write well but they're very subjective. He said everyone has an opinion. Howard said go see the movie and decide for yourself. Robert started singing. Howard said he sang in Lonesome Dove. Robert said he likes doing that. He said he tries to do his own thing.
Howard asked if he thinks they should have made Godfather Part 3. Robert said he can't say that. He said Coppola came to his house to get his mother's crab cake recipe and he wrote it down for him but he left and forgot it. He said the guy was more worried about that than Godfather 3.
Howard showed Robert the cover of Vanity Fair. Luciana said that's amazing. Howard said look at that. Howard said he thinks he has fake boobs. Howard said he thinks let everyone be what they want to be. Robert said it's strange though. Howard said that if he's happy then it's fine. Robert said Rooster McConaughey says ''All they want to do these days is cut their dicks off.'' He said he loves that guy.
Howard asked if Robert has ever had a man come on to him. Robert said there was one guy who made comments. They talked more about movies and actors that they like. Howard said he hated the movie Birdman. Robert said he thought it was okay. He said the same thing about Boyhood. Robert said they have to see a film called Wild Tales. He said that Howard will go nuts laughing at that. Howard said he'll watch it.
Howard gave them some more plugs and wrapped up with Robert and Luciana. Howard said he thinks he's had enough of them. Howard told Robert what Robin is doing with the Cryotherapy thing now. Howard said she gets in a freezer. Robin said it's good for you. Robert said he read about a guy who gets in a horse trough full of cold water every morning. Howard said that's a shock to the system and it's not good for you. They wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard came back and did a live commercial read. After that he said it was time for Robin's news and had her get right to it. They played her in with a song parody by Jesse from San Diego. Robin said that was awful. She said that she might be sorry she admitted she licked her own breasts on the air. Robin said JD regrets admitting he did the peanut butter thing and this is what she regrets.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said that Robert Duvall is always entertaining. Jeff said he wanted to mention a few things about Twitter. He said that a lady on Twitter is going to name her boat after him. Howard said alright Jeff... thanks Jeff. Jeff said a guy on Twitter bought him a cowboy hat. Howard said he was short on time and hung up on Jeff. Robin said he had a lot of boring stuff today.
Robin said a woman on safari was killed by a lion. Howard said when you go on safari they say that these are wild animals. He said you're not in a zoo. You have to keep your windows rolled up. Howard said this woman rolled her window down to take pictures. Howard said the lion took a swat at her and it killed her. Robin said the guy in the car had to fight it off too.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he thinks that Tracy Morgan will ever return to comedy. Howard said he thinks he will. He said he's still struggling after his accident but he thinks he'll be back.
Robin read a story about the TSA and how they screeners are failing to detect banned weapons. Robin said the leader of the TSA has been reassigned to another job at the TSA.
Robin read a story about KFC suing some Chinese companies for spreading rumors about their chickens having 6 wings and 8 legs. Howard said that would keep him away from KFC. Howard said JD would keep going though. Howard and Fred did their JD voices for a few seconds.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said that they have to stop the Jeff the Drunk stuff. Howard said he agrees. Jeff said he means the Jeff the Bore stuff. Fred played the ''Boring'' clip again for him. Jeff told them to stop. Howard hung up on him again.
Robin read a story about how ISIS is putting a stop to breeding pigeons because they find it offensive to see their genitals in the air. Howard said that sounds ridiculous. He said it can't be true.
Howard took a call from Mark in Boston who asked if they heard Dr. Drew busting on Robin about the Cryotherapy thing. Howard said he didn't hear that. Howard said he hopes that Dr. Drew gets through to Robin. Robin asked if they're going to start their war again. Robin said she may have to rethink the F, Marry, Kill from earlier in the show.
Robin read about how the U.S. Supreme court upholding a ruling in a case for a woman who was denied a job because she wore a head scarf. Howard said there are uniforms in business and sometimes you have to conform. He said you can go home and put on your headdress. Robin said this woman wore a scarf to her interview in Tulsa and she never stated she wanted to wear it at her job. Howard said the store has to be respected. Robin said that the Supreme Court is saying that her case can be brought to court. Robin said 8 out of 9 ruled in favor of her suing.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he can get Robin's ''nig*er titty'' if it falls off after freezing it. Howard said the guy hung up after saying that. Robin said he's one of those guys who wouldn't say that to her face.
Robin said that NASA is going to be testing a flying saucer. Robin said it's being tested for a possible landing on Mars. Fred played Riley Martin's theme music while they were talking about that. He played some of Riley's unintelligible rambling too.
Robin read about Robin Williams family and their arguing over his will. Howard tried to take a call but the guy didn't pick up fast enough so Howard hung up.
Howard said Greg Gutfeld has to get back on The Five on FOX News. Howard said he is the glue on that show. Howard said he doesn't enjoy the show as much. He said he loves the hot chicks but they need Greg. Howard said he knows he wants to be the Letterman of FOX news but he has to get back on.
Robin read a story about how Millenials are getting their political news from Facebook and other social media these days.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he did makeup on Bruce Jenner years ago for a broadcast. He said compared to a lot of other celebrities he wasn't into being made up as he is now. Howard said he was Bruce Jenner back then.
Robin read some news about Caitlyn Jenner. She had a few stories about that.
Robin read a story about OSHA coming out with new guides for transgender workers and bathrooms. Robin said that they say that they should be able to use the ladies room if you identify with being a lady. Howard said he'll take a dump with a guy who used to be a girl. Howard said Sal tapes the men's room there at Sirius and you should stay out of there no matter who you are. Howard said Sal took the recorder in there and within 2 seconds there was noise. Howard played the clip and there was loud farting/shitting sounds coming from one of the stalls. Howard said that wasn't Sal. He said that's the real deal. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard played a clip of some street interviews they did about people's worst bathroom experiences. There was one woman who said she shit on the toilet seat of a public bathroom. Howard played another clip of them asking people ''What's the grosses thing you've ever done with another person.'' People were talking about taking shits in front of other people and things like that. One guy said he has picked a booger out of his girlfriend's nose. Howard said he's never been subjected to a woman taking a shit in front of him. He said he wouldn't want that.
Robin read a story about Leukemia and a study that was done that found breast feeding may reduce the chances of getting Leukemia. Howard said he wishes he had been breast fed. That led to Howard doing his mother's voice and talking about why she didn't breast feed.
Robin read a story about Lindsay Graham joining the run for president. Howard said they have like 18 people in the republican party who want to run. Robin had some tape of Lindsay Graham announcing his run.
Robin read a story about a horse that has won 2 of the races in the triple crown. Gary was talking about that and said something but Robin didn't get it. Howard said his horse teeth are getting in the way.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard was talking about Yogurt yesterday. Howard said he forgot to get the name of it. He asked Gary to call Beth and ask what that is. The caller, Rich, asked if he still has the John Mellencamp tickets. Howard said he does. Howard said he'll do an abbreviated version of the game. Howard said the prize sounds nice. Howard said that two weeks ago he announced that Bruce's name was going to be Caitlyn. Howard said he's not getting any credit for that.
Howard got the homeless game and played a question where they asked how many sides are on an Octagon. Rich said he won't know. The homeless guy got it right with 8. Howard played another question where they asked which country we fought to win our independence. Rich said the homeless guy will know. The homeless guy said ''Philadelphia.'' Howard said this guy shouldn't get anything. Howard played another one where they asked who said ''Ask not what you can do for your country...'' Rich didn't even remember it was Kennedy. He said the guy won't know. The homeless guy said Winston Churchill. Howard gave Rich the tickets.
Gary told Howard the name of the yogurt is Siggis. Howard said he puts some granola on it with some blueberries. Robin said he's upping the carbs then. Howard said he doesn't care. That led to Howard doing his parents voices talking about blueberries on frozen yogurt. Howard went on for a couple of minutes doing both voices. Howard played a prank call the guys made with audio of him doing his parent's voices talking about bringing his own blueberries to the frozen yogurt place. Howard said they don't eat regular yogurt. He said they only eat the frozen stuff that's like ice cream. Howard did more of his parents talking with Robin. Howard said he figures he's only a few years away from sounding like that himself.
Robin read a story about a guy who announced he's running for president. Robin said he's from Chicago and he ran for mayor but he came in third there. Howard said it's hard to take a guy named Willie Wilson seriously.
Robin had some audio of Rand Paul talking about the Patriot Act. Howard said he loved the Patriot Act. Howard said he doesn't trust anyone. Robin said we used to have privacy and it was a right. Howard said people abused it and they can't be trusted. Howard said we have a bunch of shit head terrorists running around. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a Chinese cruise ship that sank. She had a story about a 17 year old boy that was struck by lightning and killed on Monday.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why they have to refer to the guy formerly known as Bruce Jenner as a ''she'' and not a ''he'' since he was born a man. Howard said he wants to be a girl so why not be a ''she.'' The caller said he was listening to the Gary's dinner story and he thinks Gary is a pussy over that whole thing. Howard said that he's making a lot of sense now. Howard said Gary is no pussy though.
Robin said that Google and Levis are teaming up to make smart jeans that will be able to pick up smart commands on their smart phones. Howard said no one wants that. He said that's like Google Glass. Howard said they have a cool thing coming up on America's Got Talent. He said this blind kid is able to dance because of Google Glass. He said he's not sure if it's on tonight but it might be.
Robin said John Kerry broke his leg when he fell off his bike in France. Howard said he saw him in the gear. He said he's hard core. Robin said he arrived back last night and he's going to be in Boston recovering. Robin said that he broke his femur.
Robin said that Enrique Iglesias is going to be getting reconstructive surgery on his hands after a drone cut them up.
Robin read about Dennis Hastert and what's going on with him. Howard tapped his foot and told Robin to listen to how loud it is. Howard said he's not sure why but he's tapping his foot. He said he's finding places on the floor that make noise now.
Robin asked if Howard thinks his school skills diminished while he was away during the summer. Howard said he hated school. Howard said he just didn't get it. Howard said that stuff went right out the window. Robin said they say it's well known that reading skills go away after taking time off. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how having reading time for kids during the summer can help them keep their skills up. Howard said you have to be a real dummy to forget how to read after 2 months. Howard said ''Uh oh, it's nice out, I forgot how to tie my shoes.''
Robin read a story about Governor Cuomo and Bill DeBlasio having some bad blood between them. Robin said Cuomo says that it's not personal though. Robin had some audio of Cuomo talking about that on a radio show.
Robin read a story about Microsoft giving a release date for Windows 10. Robin had some audio where they announced it will be coming out on July 29th. Robin said the audio was Cortana speaking. Robin said this is a new feature in Windows 10.
Robin read about a sequel to 50 Shades of Grey coming out. Robin had some details about that. Howard said he liked the movie. Howard said it was very erotic and he liked Dakota Johnson. Robin said he wouldn't have liked it if here wasn't a naked woman in it. Howard said Beth liked it too. Robin said it was not a good movie. She said she has heard from some people who went out and rented it after Howard said he liked it and they thought it was awful.
Robin said there's a rapper who raps about raping women and he says he would never condone rape but he has another song out that is about the same subject. Robin had some audio from his two songs where he raps about raping. Howard asked if his DJ is Bill Cosby. Howard said he misses the stories about Bill Cosby. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show after that. They were done around 11:10am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon said they have a poll up today too. He said that Richard is part of that. He said Richard was in rare form today. He said he was going for Caitlyn and Sal. Jesse said Richard is always such a treat to listen to. He said he'll always come through. Jon asked Rahsaan what the poll is about. Rahsaan said they're asking ''Who Would Be the 1st Staffer to Hook Up with Caitlyn Jenner? (Assuming they were single).'' The choices were:
Jon asked Rahsaan if he has some thoughts on that. Rahsaan said he would never have sex with a woman who used to be a man but he has had sex with women uglier than Caitlyn. He said he thinks if she was born a woman he'd go home with her. Jon said you don't know until it's too late though.
Jon asked Jesse where he comes down on this. Jesse said that he thinks she looks pretty good. Jon said he thinks she looks really good. He said the reason Gary was thrown in there is because Gary said he would let her blow him. Jesse said that the messed up thing is that if you're on a desert island then you probably would. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jon asked Jesse about JD's relationship with Howard. Jesse said he thinks that Howard loves JD. He said that if you can tell Howard is excited when JD is going to be on the air because you know it'll be gold.
Jon took a call from a guy who said the Wrap Up Show is great. Jesse agreed and said Jon is a great host. The caller said that Robin has done so many things with her health and maybe she should be an alternate with the Wack Pack. He said that she has a pattern that is just crazy when you think about it. Jon said he thinks they all have their eccentricities. He said Robin isn't a Wack Packer because she's employed and things like that. Jon said that Cryo thing came out of nowhere yesterday. He said that Howard wonders why she's doing something to jeopardize her health. Jesse said Howard is against anything that he doesn't do. He said Robin isn't a Wack Packer but she does try some crazy shit. He said he thinks the Cryo thing is legit. He said there is science to it. Jesse said that going between extreme heat and cold can make your body think that you're getting sick and it starts to try to heal itself. He said he thinks she's on to something. Jon said he doesn't think Robin is sick but she's doing it as a preventive maintenance thing. Jesse said he wants to try it.
Jesse said Robin is one of his long time favorite parts of the show. He said that he will back her no matter what she wants to do.
Jon took a call from Michael Rapaport who asked if he's fucking around because he's been on hold for 17 minutes. He said he was on yesterday too. He said he told him that he was going to try to squeeze him in. Jon said his name is Mark. Michael said that he gets at least one person saying that they love him on Wrap Up and they want him to fuck them in fantasy football next year. Michael said that while they're over there juggling Howard's balls he's focused on football.
Michael said he's not sure where Gary is. Gary just walked in so he said he's there. Michael said that people recognize him out on the streets and they want him to take them down in Fantasy Football. They spent a few minutes talking about Fantasy Football. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jon took a call from a guy who said they have to go back and listen to Robert Duvall if you're a guest coming up on the show. He said that he's very open and honest on the show. Gary said that he's 84 years old and he can do whatever he wants. Jon said he has a lot of energy and he'll answer anything. He said he sent his wife in just to mess with Howard. Gary said that he didn't leave her in there for long though.
Jon said that Duvall is still acting and at the top of his game. Jon said he doesn't appear to be 84 years old.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he won't bash Gary because Rapaport did that already. He said they have to get Eron on the show to find out what's going on over there with Riley Martin. Gary said that they have discussed it but Riley may not allow it. Jon said Riley doesn't sound well lately. He said that Riley really doesn't like that crossover with Jay Thomas either. Jesse said Riley is one of his favorites on the show. He said he met Riley about 15 years ago out on the street and he never forgot the guy. He said that he knew who he was when he heard him on the show. Gary asked how he started talking to him. Jesse said he's just a guy on the street talking to people and spreading his agenda. He said he likes talking to weirdos. He said he was probably 18 at the time but Riley's voice sticks with you.
Gary said that he saves a lot of stuff and never throws it out. He said he found the Symbol that Riley gave to him. He said he decided to keep it just because it's funny to have. Jesse said he and Phillippe talked about buying them. He said they never did though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he just read Gary's book and loved it. He said that he wanted to talk about what it will take to get Caitlyn on the show. Gary said he thinks that Howard is very supportive of her and he knows her publicist who listens every day. Gary said that they had Chaz Bono on too so maybe they can work it out. He said that they may want to do their big paydays first though. Jon said that this is the place for Caitlyn to come. He said he thinks they'll get that shot some day. Jesse said that there are payday venues but nothing compares to a Howard Stern interview.
Jesse said he was listening to Pitbull the other morning and he doesn't really care about his music but then you hear the interview and you care about the person. He said that's what they'll get from the Caitlyn interview.
Jon asked Gary what it was like hearing Hanzi apologize in that voicemail. Gary said he did but then he stared ramping up again. He said he doesn't think it was heartfelt. Jon said Jeff the Drunk called in too and he got pissed off that they were calling him boring. Gary said that Jeff beats around the bush and Howard gets bored. He said he has become the bore that Howard said he was. Gary said it's important to get to your point when you call in. He said the guy who played the contest yesterday was the worst with his boring game.
Jon said the poll today was about who would hook up with Caitlyn Jenner first on the staff. Rahsaan said that Gary came in first with 29 percent of the votes. Sal was second with 27 percent of the votes. The guys talked about that for a short time.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and wrapped up. They were done around 11:55am.
Howard started the show talking about how he and Fred were talking about how they could come up with Riley-isms. Howard did some of his Riley Martin impression. Fred did his too. They were doing the ''Uhh'' and talking about Eron. They were saying things that Riley says like ''None the less'' and ''good people.'' Howard said they should change the theme song to all Riley stuff. Howard played a clip of Riley making all kinds of noise over his theme song.
Howard said he was walking by Scott's studio and he had Riley audio up and all he heard was ''Uhh... good people.'' Howard said it was awesome. Fred and Howard came up with more things Riley says often.
Howard said he does that ''lookie here'' thing too. Howard said that's a throwback. Robin said Riley is a throwback. She said he was there when they coined that.
Howard took a call from a guy but asked how they got rid of the stop and frisk thing in New York. He said the murder rate went through the roof after they took it away. Howard said he and Robin never wanted it to go away. Robin said people want it back now.
The caller said that regurgitator guy was on his channel 9 show 25 years ago. Howard said they had him on the show and he pointed that out when they were shooting the show. Howard said they cut out a lot of what he says. He said he's barely on the show. He said they cut them all out. Howard said the show was really good last night. Howard said they have so many cool acts. He said it's stuff that they haven't seen before.
Howard said they had Stevie Starr on the show 25 years ago but he got a great shot on America's Got Talent. Howard said people loved that. The caller said they thought he was a freak and now he's on the biggest stage in America. The caller also thanked Fred for playing a Robin song yesterday. Howard said there are a lot of songs about her Cryotherapy. The caller, Jesse, said he's working on one. Howard said you have to be fast. Howard said Eli Braden and Psych turn them around in a day. Howard played some of their parodies. Howard told Jesse to hurry up with his.
Howard said Jesse had better hurry. Jesse said he did send one in. Howard said he'll look for it. Howard said Daniel Mendelson went for it too. Howard said that he did a rock opera about Sal's cock too. Howard said it's fucking wild. Howard played some of that song too. Mendelson was singing about Sal's cock being gone.
Howard played a prank call that Sal and Richard made to a car repair shop using clips of Ronnie flipping out on Ralph about trying to break his car.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked what was going on with his Dr. J afro last night. Howard said he tried something new on that show. He said it turned out to be a mistake. Howard said he's going to do it differently for the live shows. Howard said he has to spend an hour in hair to get it loose. Howard said he didn't like the way it looked last night either. The caller said he should buzz it down like Sinead O'Conner. Howard said he was going to slick it back but everyone thought it would be too much face. Howard said he left his hair natural and it was a big fucking mistake. Howard said he cringes watching it. Howard said this guy Bundy is right. Howard asked him not to call about it anymore. He said it was a bit of a misstep. Howard said he just wants to show up and work and not be fussed over. Howard said he's not Caitlyn. Howard said it's a nightmare to show up au naturale. Robin said it takes him hours to get natural. Howard said that's a funny line.
Howard took a call from Bobo who wanted to say some things to Robin but Howard said goodbye. Howard said every time you think he's bad he gets worse. Howard said that Robin doesn't care about his speech. Bobo also talked about the mentalist on the show last night and how good he was. Howard said he was funny and he was on. Howard said sometimes he's about to hit his buzzer and then boom they change. Howard said when they're there live it takes like 15 minutes for these people to get into it. Howard said that you can't do that in the live shows. Howard said you only have 90 seconds in the live shows.
Bobo said the magician was funny too. Howard said he was great. Howard said there were so many good acts. Howard said he liked the montage of Howie's dumb decisions that he corrected. Howard said some of the stuff looks even more spectacular in the theater. He said that's why he hit the golden buzzer on that one act. Howard said some people deserve a reward and that's the way he looks at the golden buzzer.
Howard said the weather there in New York has been shitty lately in New York. He said Bobo is in Florida and the weather down there must be nice. Howard said he doesn't get outside at all anymore. Howard said he has to take vitamin D. Howard said he has to take that because he never sees the sun.
Howard said he has to wear a big hat like Caitlyn when he's out in the sun. Howard said Caitlyn is the hottest thing right now. Howard said they say that Bruce Jenner is worth millions already. Howard said now they say that he's going to be a spokesperson for a makeup company. He said he's going to have books, speeches and TV shows. Howard said they say that he may be worth half a billion after all of this.
Howard said women who are named Caitlyn are freaking out. Howard said that's not a popular name though. Howard said he has information about that. Robin said he hasn't had the operation yet. Howard said he thought she did. Robin said Caitlyn still has a penis.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he would jerk off and play with his breasts at the same time. Howard said transgender hate their penis. He said that they just want it gone. Howard said they don't want to talk about it or see it. He said it's a whole thing.
The caller said he loves that ''My cock is gone'' clip. Fred played that for him. Howard said when Sal was under hypnosis he was so freaked out. Howard said he thought he was having a heart attack. Howard said even the hypnotist didn't expect that. Robin said it was way over what they expected. Howard said he was scared.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they had a Ronnie reference on the Sean Hannity show last night. Howard said he has the clip. He played the clip where this guy got in a ''Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop the clock'' on the show. Howard said that guy's name is Ami Horowitz. Gary said he's a big fan of the show who has submitted some stuff to the show at times. Howard said the guy is good.
Howard said Dennis Rodman was on some show saying that if Caitlyn Jenner wants to date him he'll go out with her. Howard said that would be the greatest move on Caitlyn's part. Howard said that's what the Kardashian's do. Howard said that Rodman would wreck that new vagina. Howard said he'd punch a hole right through.
Robin asked what's going on with her account. Howard said he checked with some cop buddies and they didn't even know what to do. Robin said that they don't know what to do in that instance. Robin said that if he's torturing animals he has to be breaking a law somewhere. Howard said Beth just placed 3 of their cats with a family last night. Then this guy is like satan killing them. Howard said she's not sure if they're new videos or if they're old. Robin said this guy should be looked into. Howard said if anyone in the FBI is out there listening please let him know so they can help make him a hero to his wife.
Robin asked if he watched The Bachelorette this week. Howard said of course he did. Howard said she looks great. He said there's some good stuff happening on the show. He said she's hot and she's worth fighting for. Howard said they get some nasty looking bachelorettes on that show sometimes. Robin said she hated that show but she has to watch.
Howard said that Jada Pinkett Smith is coming in today. He said she is so hot. Howard said she's so much hotter than the chicks that JD is having put peanut butter on their vaginas. Howard said he loves her on Gotham. Howard said if you look at her pictures online she's so hot. He said he hopes Will Smith knows what to do with her. Howard said he thinks that she'd be a lot of fun. Robin said she imagines she'd be wild. Howard said he does too. Howard said she's not freaky but wild. He said she's in the new Magic Mike movie.
Howard said on HowardStern.com they have Jada Pinkett Smith videos and pictures from movies she's been in. Jason came in and said she plays a bad ass in a lot of movies so they posted that stuff. Howard said Jason Alexander is also stopping by so they'll talk to him.
Howard said he might be able to get to Wolfie after the break. He said he went to the Mr. Leather convention. Howard asked Wolfie if that's the most depraved thing he went to. Wolfie said he felt uneasy 3 days after he went. Howard said he had to take a break before getting to that. Howard had Fred do the break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and told Gary to write that song down for him. He wants to put it on his playlist. Howard said that was a really good song. Howard asked if they can't write another hit.
Howard did a live commercial read after that. He was in the bathroom so he didn't do it during the break. Howard said he pissed and he was in there so long because he missed the toilet and peed on the floor. Howard said his cock doesn't perform the same way it used to. He said it was just coming out the side. Fred said he has the same thing. He said he has that extra bit of skin there so it can shoot out sideways like a leaky hose. Howard said his went right. Howard said he had to clean it up with his foot with toilet paper. He said he has OCD so he can't touch things. Howard said he's better with feet than he is with his hands.
Howard finished his live commercial read and saw a tasteful nude of Jada Pinkett Smith. Howard said you can see her tuchas. He said it's very nice. Robin said she does take a good picture. Howard said he has a lot of questions for her.
Howard got to Wolfie who went to the Mr. Leather convention. Howard asked Wolfie how he learned about that. Wolfie said someone sent it to him on Twitter. Howard said he has pictures and every dude is in leather with a ball in the mouth and assless chaps. Howard said it is super hard core. Howard said one guy told Wolfie not to go to the bathroom unless he wanted to be ass raped. Wolfie said they have a whole trade show for things you put in your ass. He said there were maybe one or two women there. Howard asked if they thought he was there for ass play. Wolfie said he thinks they did. He said imagine if Ronnie was gay and 100 more times sexual and that's what they were like.
Howard said one guy was a vendor there and he sells DVDs there and they're about fucking animals and dwarves and things. Howard played some of that interview and Wolfie asked him to read some of the titles he had there. There were a lot of bestiality videos and things like that. Robin said she's getting sad hearing this.
Howard said one guy was passing by the Leather Con and he was just a regular guy. Howard played the audio of that interview and the guy was saying that no black guys wear that shit.
Howard played a clip of a guy talking to Wolfie about liking a blumpkin which is getting a blow job while taking a shit. Howard said he loves the look on Robin's face. Robin asked ''Why? Why?'' when she heard that clip.
Wolfie said the place smelled worse and worse as the day went on. Howard said Wolfie's phone sounds awful today. Howard said he must be the only person who has a hard line these days. Robin said she has one. Howard said his mother is half deaf and she can't hear him when he calls from his cell phone. Howard said he'll end up banging the phone into his head and Beth will wonder what's going on. He said he doesn't even realize he's doing it.
Howard played another clip of Wolfie talking to a guy who is barking like a dog. Wolfie said they have a collar on them and they are acting like a puppy. In the clip a guy was talking about the things that he's seen at these events. He's seen fisting and fucking in the balconies. Wolfie said the hotel there had 1000 rooms and they were all sold out.
Wolfie said the smell of shit hit him in the face there and it almost knocked him out. He said that there's one interview with a janitor that he has to hear. Howard played that one and the Janitor said that the drains get clogged with shit there. He said he has seen sex going on there in the hallways. He said they don't stop when you walk past them. The janitor talked about how the tubs get clogged with shit and he has to clean them out. He said they're cleaning themselves out in the tub so that's why they get clogged.
Howard said these guys are weird but he'd bet that they don't freeze themselves. Wolfie said they're not that weird.
Howard played another interview Wolfie did with a guy who was talking about how he got eaten out a lot there. He said he got some fingers and dicks in his ass. He also said once they stuck an electro butt plug in his ass and got it up near 100 volts. Howard said we're all going to hell. Robin said she thinks she's in it already.
Howard asked how much more of this Robin can take. Howard said he has more. Robin said she has to hear it all. Howard played another clip of a guy in a pup mask and a butt plug tail. Howard said that guy is going to be on the cover of Vanity Fair next week.
Howard played more of that guy talking about sticking his face in a guy's ass. He also described the perfect asshole. Howard said there's a lot of painful stuff going on there.
Howard asked if Wolfie was scared. Wolfie said he wasn't but he saw things that he will never forget. He said at one point he heard a dog barking and then he sees a guy in a dog mask run up and start eating a guy's ass. He said he doesn't know if he knew him or not. Robin said this is why the internet is bad. She said these people couldn't find each other before.
Howard played a clip of a guy talking about a human centipede thing he saw there once. He said that the guy at the front of the line the guy was getting his cock sucked. Howard asked what hotel took this convention. Wolfie said that they say that this group has a lot of money. He said they were very wealthy from what he was told.
Howard played more audio of a guy talking about having a wooden spoon in his ass one time. He explained why it was in there.
Howard played an interview Wolfie did with another pup who explained what it means to be a pup. He also talked about liking a hairy ass.
Howard said he has a guy on the phone who has advice for his wife. Howard picked up on the guy who said she needs to call the ASPCA and they'll work with the NYPD to do something. Howard thanked the guy and said he had to get back to Leather-Con.
Howard asked how much more of this they can take. Howard played a clip of a guy describing what the smell is like there.
Howard played a clip of a guy talking about a guy who shit on his chest once. He also talked about how he likes getting his face drenched in cum. Howard said this seems pretty wild. He said they may have go to next year. Howard said Wolfie has PTSD after going there. Wolfie said it was like Gay Manifest Destiny. Howard thanked Wolfie for the interviews.
Howard asked if they had medical staff there just in case something got stuck. Wolfie told Howard they were filling people's asses with things like NASCAR has to fill up fuel tanks. He said you'd think they'd have a medical team there.
Howard let Wolfie go and took a call from a guy who said that Chet Haze has been using the N-word a lot lately and he's in the paper over it. He asked Howard what he would do if that was his son. Howard said if he had a kid doing that he'd ask him why he's so angry. Howard said he would ask if he knows what it means and how it ripped families apart. Howard said he would talk about it with him. Robin asked where Tom Hanks went wrong with that kid. Howard said he doesn't know if he went wrong. Robin said she has audio of him defending himself that she'll play during the news. Howard went to break after that because they had Jason Alexander waiting.
Howard came back and said that Jason Alexander is there. He said he's taking over the role from Larry David for the play ''Fish in the Dark.'' Howard said he saw it and now he has to go see it again. Jason said he hasn't asked him for a thing.
Howard said in Seinfeld Jason played Larry David essentially. He said now he's taking over for Larry David in this play. Jason said it's just to show his range. Howard asked if he was his first choice to take over the role. Jason said that Larry was talked into doing the role. He said Larry said the first guy he thought of when he was finished writing it was him. Howard said he didn't know Larry when he did Seinfeld but he did it as Woody Allen. Jason said that every situation seemed ludicrous on the show. He said he went to Larry and said this would never happen but Larry told him that it happened to him. Jason said that the bells went off when he heard him talking about it. He said he started to observe him and took as much of that in as he could.
Howard said he heard he got his audition by mailing them or something. Jason said he knew nothing about the show. He said that they had seen a lot of people in L.A. Howard said he heard they saw Larry Miller, Brad Hall, David Alan Grier, Nathan Lane and Steve Buscemi. Jason said he heard about some of them. Jason said Paul Shaffer, Danny DeVito and Chris Rock were also offered the role. Howard said that the show wasn't a big hit at first. Jason said he thinks that Danny was at his apex at the time. He said he's not sure why Chris didn't do it.
Jason said that he had done stage acting and they put him on a tape and sent it over. He said he did the role as Woody Allen with the stuttering and all of that. He said he never thought he'd hear anything. He said a couple of weeks later they called and asked him to screen test with Jerry. Howard said the Woody Allen thing seemed kind of silly to do. Jason said that you can't really get a job like that. He said he just threw it out there.
Howard said Jason went to Boston University and dropped out. He said that Jason said he got worse at acting when he went to acting classes. Jason said they try to infuse these techniques into you and that doesn't work. He said that his training got truncated. Howard said he got into Boston University because he did a good Shatner impression. Howard said that he had to audition to get in there. Jason said he did the opening monologue for Equis for that audition. He said at the time he didn't realize just how Bill Shatner he was. Howard said at one point Jason said he could recite every line from Star Trek. Jason said he knew everything. He said that he had a photographic memory at the time.
Howard asked if he has some dialog from the Tribble episode. Jason knew a few lines. He did them for Howard. He said that there are things from Star Trek in his brain that are blocking new stuff from going in.
Howard asked if he can recite Godfather stuff too. Jason said he knows a lot of the monologues from Network. He said there are a lot of odd things like that in his head. He said he knows the closing monolog from Justice For All. He recited some of that.
Howard said that he was talking to Robert Duvall yesterday about Marlon Brando and Brando didn't memorize anything. Howard said he just couldn't do it anymore. Robin said he was trying to be spontaneous. Jason said that's easy. He said doing something with the line is different.
Howard asked about the Seinfeld scripts. Jason said they would shoot the scene twice and it would go great and they'd work on the script with the audience there. He said they did one episode where he was pretending to be a marine biologist. He said that the story was that Kramer was hitting golf balls into the ocean. He said Larry asked him to memorize this long monolog on the beach and he did one take and that's the only take it took. That's what's in the show.
Jason said that he used to just learn things and figure it out. He said now he does it simultaneously. Jason said he went to see Larry doing Fish in the Dark. He said that Larry is not acting in the sense that they think of acting. He said if he did exactly what Larry does in the play he would be tar and feathered. He said it would hurt him to do it the way Larry odes it. He said he has to do it in his own way. Jason said that Larry and the director would talk about it and Larry can write a moment but he can't act it.
Howard said here is more dimension for Jason in the play. Howard said he will go see it again because of that. Howard asked if he has done it in front of Larry. Jason said he has done a few things but Larry is exhausted. He said tomorrow and Friday they will do run throughs with it. He said on Tuesday they do set changes and all of that and then they will do the full show. He said he's been doing this a long time so he can get into it that quickly.
Howard said Jason has 2 kids. He asked if they have only seen 2 episodes of Seinfeld. Jason said they have probably seen 6 collectively. He said his oldest son watched a few when he was a teenager and he said he thought he played kind of an asshole. Jason said he understands him not watching it. He said he kind of lives under the weight of him anyway. He said that the younger son is just an asshole so he should be enjoying it.
Howard said he's sure his kids are proud of him but they don't want to think of him as a big star. He said it somehow helps them get through the day. Howard said it can be too hard for a kid. Jason said his oldest son is Gabe Greenspan and not Alexander. Jason said that's his real last name. He said that he wanted to go with Jason Scott but he went with Jason Alexander. He said his full name is Jay Scott Greenspan.
Howard said he has to tell the story about how he met his wife. Jason said he was 20 at the time. Howard said he was on a date with her and he made one obscure Star Trek reference and she got it. Jason said he fell in love with her. He said that she knew the response from the show and he was smitten right then.
Howard said the whole Shatner obsession got him into Boston University and got him his wife. Jason said it did. He said Bill was a god to him as a kid. He said now he's a friend. He said he watches football with him at his house. He said that he hosted his roast for him. Howard said it is weird to become famous. Jason said that he gets invited to things and he feels weird about it.
Howard said he loves that Jason studied Judo when he was young. Jason said not judo but various martial arts. Howard said he had an incident where a guy tried to put a gun to his head. Jason said he was in Rome, Georgia. He said that this guy jumped out from a street and he still doesn't know where he came from. He said the mistake the guy made was slamming the gun against the back of his head. He said he defended like it was just his hand. He said it turned out to be a gun. Howard said the guy shot the gun but it missed his head. Jason said you turn your head and the gun is in the wrong position. He said you clamp the hand to you and they have a problem removing the gun. He said it's a common thing. Howard asked if he was famous at the time. Jason said he was not. He said that fame is the best deterrent though.
Howard asked when he started doing the marital arts stuff. Jason said he was doing it until his 30s. He said that he did that as a natural thing from the training. Robin asked if he stopped getting bullied. Jason said they all grew up so it stopped.
Howard said Jason started going bald at 17. Jason said he had braces for 9 years and they came off at 17. Then he goes and works out and he's looking in the mirror and at the time the Jew-fro was a big thing. He said he moved it and saw the bald spot starting. He said that he cursed god for that.
Howard said that he started wearing a toupee for some roles. Jason said he lost some roles because he looked too much like ''George'' so he started wearing the toupee. Howard asked if he discussed that with Shatner. Jason laughed and said he never talks about hair with him. He said he did wear that piece for the first time at the roast for Bill though.
Howard said he eventually stopped wearing it. Jason said it was a big pain in the ass. Howard said he looks better without it. He said he has a nice face and he pulls it off.
Howard asked Jason about getting a movie with Holly Hunter and how he moved in with her. Howard said that they lived together and she wouldn't fuck him. Jason said she barely talked to him. He said they struck up a nice friendship on the film. He said she was moving to New York after the movie. He said that's what kept him from going back to college. He said that they moved in together and they never fucked. Howard asked if she would bring guys home. Jason said she had a boyfriend. Howard said he had to hear her moaning in the other room.
Howard said the other funny story was that Jason was in a play with Liza Minelli and then he gets into it and then she checks into rehab and it's over. Jason said over the course of the 9 months they were doing it she missed a dozen performances or so. He said then she was supposed to do the show for a year and at the 9 month mark she went to rehab.
Howard said Jason was in the show E.R. with Elliot Gould. Howard said that guy was such a pain in the ass that people refused to work with him. Jason said he always seemed to be sweet to him. He said Elliot likes to hit the smokie and maybe it had more to do with that. He said the work ethic seems to diminish with that. He said it doesn't seem that way with Seth Rogen though.
Howard said on Seinfeld there's a great part where they wrote in a love interest for him. Her name was Susan. Howard said that they killed her off because Jason couldn't stand working with her. Jason said this poor girl. Jason said that the preamble is that the actress is a wonderful girl. He said he loves her. He said she's terrific. He said he couldn't figure out how to play off of her. He said her instincts for doing a scene were misfiring. He said she'd do something and then he'd adjust and then it would change. Jason said he had done 3 episodes with her and Larry told him that he was going to get engaged to her. He asked who was going to play George. He said what Larry told him is that they could do the most horrible things to her and the audience was still on his side. He said they knew it wasn't a good fit. Jason said after every episode they'd go out and have a bite to eat. He said it was just the four of them. He said that he told Larry and Jerry that he couldn't figure out how to work off of her. He said they didn't know how the season was going to end. He said then Elaine and Jerry have a lot of material with her. He said they go out to eat afterward and they say that it's impossible to work with her. Jason said Julia said that they just want to kill her. He said that planted the seed for killing her off. Jason said that it just didn't work. Howard said Larry called and said she's going to be his co-star in Fish in the Dark.
Howard asked if she's the one who gave Larry notes for the show. Jason said that was an extra on the pilot episode. He said that didn't work out well for her.
Jason said that he felt like he couldn't give a good show with that actress but it turned out that was the right thing for that character.
Howard said Seinfeld has generated $3 billion. He asked Jason if he got any of that money. Jason said that they got paid very well in the final two seasons. Howard asked if he got any syndication. Jason said he did not. He said if there was a bone of contention that was it. He said that it's not standard practice to give the supporting cast syndication. He said they could have thrown them a bone there. Jason said he negotiated for that in other series. He said that you want people invested in the show. He said it didn't work out badly for the boys though. Howard said he has seen the lifestyle. He said things are just fine for Jerry.
Howard said Heidi Swedberg, the woman who played Susan, is now in a ukulele band. Jason said she actually is. He said that it's very uncomfortable when they see each other now.
Howard said that Jason has won a Tony. Jason said he did. He said he never expected to. Howard said he remembers him in Pretty Woman too. He said that was a good movie. Jason said he never touched Julia either.
Howard said he knows Jason turned down the lead in The Commish. Jason said that he didn't really turn it down. He said that Seinfeld had a drop dead date and he was being offered that show and they ended up picking up Seinfeld. He said that he thinks Michael Chiklis was great in that show.
Howard said that Jason is taking over Larry David's role in Fish in the Dark next week on June 9th. Howard asked if he feels like he's going back to Seinfeld. Jason said it feels more like he's going to Curb Your Enthusiasm. He said that's more like it.
Howard asked how long he's doing the show. Jason said he's just doing it for 6 weeks. He said it's great that it's that long. He said they lose the theater on July 18th. He said this is the best way to do a play. He said once you open a show it gets very repetitious. He said that Larry had no idea how much work it was going to be. He said when you do a show like that you have to rest during the day. He said Larry thought he was going to be playing golf every day. He said you can't do that.
Howard said that Jason has trouble sleeping and he's been taking Ambien. Jason said he does stuff all lover the country. Howard said he was taking Ambien too but his mother told him that if he can't sleep as long as you're just resting it's fine. He said you have to get past that mental block. Jason said that's fine until you wake up 4 hours later and realize you didn't get any sleep.
Howard said they have to go see this play Fish In The Dark. He gave Jason some plugs for that. Jason said that he met Beth once and he thinks she had no idea who he was. Howard said he's sure she knows. Howard said of course she does.
Howard said Jason directed a video with Taylor Swift before she was famous. Jason said she was playing in front of 18,000 people and she was comfortable doing it. He said he had a feeling she was going to be big some day. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard came back and said that he wishes he looked better today for Jada. Howard said she is a real woman. Robin said there are a lot of real women. Howard told her not to ruin it for him. Howard said she looks really good. Howard asked if she was always hot. He said she plays Fish Mooney on Gotham. Howard said she has both eyes though. Howard said he thought that show was going to be so bad. Howard said now it's like his favorite show. Howard asked if she's a fan of comic books. She said she's into something called Saga right now. It's not old school stuff. Howard said it's either Marvel or DC for him. He said he's not into that new stuff.
Howard said that her character isn't in the comic books. Howard said they created the role for her. Jada said that happens for her a lot. Howard said she has power over men so when did she realize that. Jada said when she turned 40 she realized it. She said her grandmother raised her not to think about looks.
Howard said Jada grew up in Baltimore and in a poor section. Jada said her mother was a nurse and they were different. She said her mother was a head nurse and a heroin addict. She said her mother was pretty gangsta like that. She said her mother was a functioning addict. She said she's 20 years clean now. Howard said that it must be crazy to have that going on as a child. Jada said it was more scary than confusing. She said she was pretty much on her own. She said there were no men in the house and they lived in a bad area. She said her dad bolted after she was born. She said he was an addict too.
Howard said he knows that her grandma got her into ballet and things like that. Jada said her grandma came in at very pivotal points in her life. She said that she didn't want to go to college and she barely got out of high school. She said her diploma was given to her as a gift. She said that she was a horrible student. Jada said she was a young, reckless kid. Howard asked if she committed any crimes. Jada said that she will just say there were a few things she had no business doing. She said she paid the price. She said she was robbed once with two 9MM to her face. She said that's when her mom got her out of there and down to South Carolina.
Howard said she must have been the hot chick in the hood. She said she really wasn't. She said she was kind of a misfit. She said there were people attracted to her because she was different. She said she wasn't the hot chick though. She said that she was the girl who everyone thought of as their little sister.
Howard asked when she got hot. Jada said it really didn't happen until she turned 40. Howard said she went out to Hollywood before that.
Howard said he's fascinated with her mom being an addict. Howard said he knows she took her to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Howard said he really is into her. Howard said he feels that Will isn't giving it to her the way she needs it. She said he really is. She said that she's been married for 20 years. She wouldn't have been if it wasn't good.
Howard said Jada's mother took her to the N.A. meeting and showed her what was going on there. Jada said that her mother wanted her to get as much information as she could. She said that addiction is hereditary. Howard asked if it was a confusing household with guys coming and going. She said that she didn't have to deal with that. She said her mother held a job. She said she was a functioning addict. She said that she was lucky she didn't have to deal with that.
Howard said her mother sent her to the school of arts. She met Tupac there. Jada said she actually went to high school with Tupac. Howard said he wasn't the gangster they all thought he was. Howard said he was raised by parents who were in the Black Panthers. Howard asked if he was in love with her at the time. Jada said she thinks that she has more of an understanding of what that was now. She said that they had no physical chemistry at all. She said it was both of them. She said they wanted to kiss and it turned out to be the most disgusting kiss for both of them. She said the higher power just did not want that. She said they were both very passionate and they love deeply. She said just as friends they had a very volatile relationship. She said he had never in her life met a person like Pac. She said that he had so much charisma. She said he was poor. She said he owned two pair of pants and two sweaters when she knew him. Howard said it's amazing that both of them became famous out of that neighborhood. Jada said that he told her that she was a superstar. She said he never said that about himself though.
Howard said Jada and Tupac loved heavy metal and she was in a band. She said it was called Wicked Wisdom. Howard said that she loved that kind of music and so did Tupac. Jada said Tupac loved country too. Howard said to be a musician you have to love it all.
Howard said there was a time when she turned to Will Smith and said she wanted to make a heavy metal album. She went to Ozzfest to see Ozzy. Jada said that Sharon asked her to go see the show. Howard said it was traumatic to her. Jada said that they were hostile to her. She said that she got thousands of death threats. She said Will didn't ask her not to go but he was really concerned. Robin said that it's funny when you want to play music someone loves they want to kill you. Jada said that she's female and black and from Hollywood. She said she totally got it. She said she's so glad she went though. She said that experience was nothing like what they wanted her to believe. She said she met some of the most magnificent people there. She said she took her kids with her too. She said she learned so much about this country that she couldn't have if she hadn't gotten out there.
Howard asked what she learned going out there. Jada said it's a way for people to express how they're feeling living out there.
Howard asked what drives her to go out and do something like that. Howard said that she must wonder why she's doing it. Jada said she did it because she likes to break those myths we have about one another. She said she likes to be able to step outside the box and disrupt what you believe is real. She said that she got to go to all of these places and play metal. She said she had guys with confederate flags on their shirts telling her to give them a hug and sign their shirt. Jada said that's what art is supposed to do. Howard said he agrees with her. Howard said Jimi Hendrix broke down more racial barriers than anyone. Jada agreed. She said that you do whatever you want to do no matter who you are.
Howard asked Jada about Tupac and how they were very close. Howard said she goes off and does her thing and Tupac does his thing. Howard said he went to jail. Howard said Jada says that he called her and jail changed him. Jada said there were a lot of things that transpired. She said he came out and he changed. She said jail was a very difficult thing for him. Jada said they were on two sides of the spectrum. She said they had always had very intense arguments and discussions. She said that they had a very hard core disagreement about the direction he was taking. She said that she told him that and it scared her. She said that he felt that she had changed and had gone soft. She said she understands where he was at the time. She said that was part of his survival. She said that's what he was starting to come out of when he was murdered.
Howard asked if she was feeling guilty not being in touch with him when he was murdered. Jada said she felt sadness for not having the opportunity to tell him that she loved him. She said she thinks he knew that though. She said she didn't look at it as a way of feeling guilty. She said life is too short and you can't let disagreement stand between you and people you love. Howard said she has tears in her eyes talking about this. Howard said it's such a terrible ending for him. Jada said he left a very strong and powerful mark. She said he did his work and that's what she's happy about.
Howard said the thing he has a problem with is that he missed out on so much life. Howard said all of the years that he could have done something. He said there's no telling what he missed out on. Jada agreed. She said there's no telling what would have happened.
Howard said Jada got out to Hollywood and made a mark. She didn't have a lot of boyfriends. She said Will was the big one. She said that he wasn't the first but he was the one that she attached herself to in this world. Howard said she met him on the set of Fresh Prince of Bel Air. She said she wasn't attracted to him at first. She said that he wasn't her type. Howard asked if he made a play for her. She said he did. She said she auditioned for his girlfriend and she was told she was too short. She's only 5' tall. She said Will is 6'2''. Howard said she was young when she married him. Jada said she was 25. She said that she was too young. She said that it worked out for her but she thanks God that she has a husband who is a gangsta husband. She said that they've been together from 25 to 44 and you have to be strong to do that. She said it takes work.
Howard said he never believed her rap about how she's fine with Will going out with another woman if he can look himself in the mirror after. Jada said that she trusts that the man he is, is a man of integrity. She said as long as he can look himself in the mirror and be okay she's good. Howard said he wouldn't want to lose her. Jada said she doesn't think Will does either.
Howard asked if she will put on an outfit for Will. She said she does change her hair a lot. She said just imagine what she'd do in private. Robin asked if Will is playing parts too. Jada said he just has to play the part of being the fine man he is. She said he's a man of great integrity. Howard asked if he would come to her and tell her about other women. Jada said he does. She said you have to in this business. Howard said that must suck when the news comes out about him being into his co-star. Jada said that she's not the kind of woman who thinks that a man isn't going to be into other women. She said just because he's into another woman doesn't mean he doesn't love you. She said it doesn't mean he's going to act on it either. She said if he can't see another woman's beauty then he can't see yours. She said you have to be human and be who you are.
Howard asked if Will did the work on himself or did his parents do that for him. Jada said that he was on the road as a young guy and you learn a lot on the road.
Robin asked how Jada got that great upbringing. Jada said her grandparents helped a lot. She said her grandmother died when she was 12 and her grandfather when she was 19. Howard asked if she's upset that her grandmother didn't get to see her success. She said that she thinks that she knows. She said she feels that she's with her. She said that Will's grandmother was a big deal in his life too.
Howard said he heard that Will said her ass is her best feature. She said she knows that's real because he does tell her that. She said she does a lot of squats to keep that ass. She said she eats buffalo meat, kale and oatmeal for breakfast. She said that it's a protein that does well for her body. Howard asked if she's into Cryotherapy. She said she hasn't heard about that one yet. Howard said Robin is way out there with that stuff.
Howard asked what she does after breakfast. She said she goes to the gym. Howard asked what she wears there. She said she wears a sports bra and dresses down. She said she wants to concentrate on working out. She said that she does the step machine for about 20 minutes. She said that she's tiny so her cardio is only 20 minutes. Howard asked about benching and things like that. She said she doesn't bench after injuring herself. She said she can do about 20 pull ups. Howard said he can do more than that.
Howard said that Jada and Will eventually hook up after Will got divorced. Jada said that he came to A Different World and met his wife in the audience. She said that he actually came there to see her.
Howard asked if Bill Cosby ever hit on her. Jada said he never did. Howard said Cosby could be the greatest serial raper of all time. Jada said she has no comment about that. Howard said he wants her to say something nasty. Howard asked if she says anything nasty about anyone. She said she tries not to. Howard asked who she doesn't like. Jada said there's no one she wouldn't work with again. She said she has worked with people she didn't like but she would work with them again because you don't have to like someone to make something great. She said there are people who have certain ideas about who actors are.
Jada told Howard that she has this armor built up from the way she grew up. She said that can make her seem unapproachable. She said that she thinks that has changed a little bit but that can make people think that she's not a nice person. Jada said she has to look at the world differently and think about how she's protected in different ways.
Howard asked about Will Smith winning an Oscar for playing Muhammad Ali and they ended up going home to take care of their sick kids during the show. Jada said she had just come home from Australia and Willow was an infant at the time. She said they went to the Awards show and Willow was fine when they left. She said they got the call that she had a fever of 103 during the show so she had to get home. She said they both just left. They had to. She said that Willow had to be maybe 6 months old at the time. Howard said that's good mothering. Howard said he knows a lot of women who wouldn't have left. Jada said her family is everything to her.
Howard asked why Will turned down the Matrix movie. Jada said he did but she ended up getting into it instead. She said that she and Keanu didn't have chemistry for her to play the co-starring role though. She said she knew that she wasn't going to get it. She said that she's glad that Kari Ann got the role.
Robin asked if Jada is leaving Gotham. She said she only signed on for one year. Jada said that she was there for Penguin to do his thing. She said that the guy who plays him, Robin Lord Taylor, is such a pleasure to work with. She said she'll miss everyone on the show. Howard said they left it open for her so maybe she can come back. She said maybe she could. Howard asked if she wants more money. Jada said no.
Howard asked about showing up to the audition with a guy on a leash. She said it wasn't an audition. She said they were working on who the character Fish Mooney was going to be and she decided to show up with a guy on a leash to show what the character was.
Howard asked Jada about doing a movie where she showed her ass and then the movie gets an NC-17 rating. She said that was so ridiculous. She said that it wasn't a big deal. Robin said that movie was a break through for black love. Howard said he loves black love.
Howard said he did a movie where he was aroused in every scene. He said he finds it hard to believe that other men don't get aroused. Jada said that she did Magic Mike and she did have a moment. She said as a woman she can get a guy to inspire you. She said to walk into a room full of men that inspire you is different. She said that she will only see a guy once in a while but guys see maybe 40 women a day. She said that she walked into that one room and the room was full of guys who turned her on.
Howard asked what Jada plays in the new Magic Mike. She said she plays a club owner. Howard asked what would happen if Will was in a bad accident and didn't make it. Howard said that she has lost Will and she's mourned for a day or two so she has a free pass. Howard said a giant bird swoops down and eats Will and now she's single. Howard asked what guy would turn her on. Jada said she wouldn't do Hollywood again. She said she would have companions and not be married again. Howard said that's interesting that she has it planed out. She said she tells Will that all the time. He knows.
Howard said the role that Jada is playing in Magic Mike was written for a guy. Jada said that Channing just thought of her and wrote her in. Howard said he thinks that with her role on Gotham people were reminded about how great she is. Jada said that the kids are grown up and now she's ready to go back to work. Howard asked how they discipline the kids when they have a ton of money already. Howard asked if they tell them to clean up their rooms. Jada said of course they can. She said the thing that's fantastic is that the three kids are great. She said that she has a step-son who is 22 now. She said she came into his life when he was just 2. Howard asked if she walks around in a bikini. She said of course she does. Howard said that's got to be great for the kid's friends. Howard said his friends told his mother to cover up. Howard said he can't imagine what that's like with her running around the house. Jada said it is a trip because she has two boys. Robin said that Willow's friends must be into Will. Jada said not really.
Jada said that her son Jaden would come to her and tell her how bad things are with the other kids talking about her. She said she feels for him.
Howard said he thinks that she'd be too much for him to handle. Howard said he has a premature ejaculation problem. Jada laughed. Howard said he pictures their house being fun. Jada said it really is. Howard said he saw them on Oprah talking about how good they have it. Jada said the kids have done well already.
Howard asked if they ever had to spank their kids. Jada said they did early on. She said that they changed their parenting along the way so they would never do that again. Jada said that Willow let her have it one day and it was one of those terrible 2 days and she had to give her the Dragon Lady. Howard asked if she ever felt bad after that. Jada said she never did. Howard said that sometimes you have to engage.
Howard asked if they had help with the kids. Jada said she did. She said she doesn't think that any mother should have to do it alone. She said that mom's need a break. She said that every mother needs some help. Jada said that's why you have your parents and friends. Howard said you have to be realistic too though. He said you have one kid and not 5. Robin said some people are too young to realize what they're getting into.
Robin asked if her mother lives with her. Jada said no. She said that she has it going on and has her own life.
Howard asked Jada about dating Will and going out on a date. He said she got pregnant almost right away. Jada said it was 2 years in. Howard asked if she had sex right away. Jada said you have to wait. She said you have to invest emotionally first. Howard asked how long you make Will Smith wait. Jada said he was a little different because he had been after her for a little while. Howard asked how long. Jada said it had to be about a month. She said they were inseparable after that. She said she was 23 and she's been with him ever since. Howard asked if there is a video of that. Jada said she never videos that stuff. She said she has a fear of that getting out. She said that Will has taken nudes of her while she sleeps. Howard said he'd do that too.
Howard said the movie Jada is promoting is Magic Mike XXL. Howard said it's not just for women. Robin said she has a bunch of male friends who were sitting around talking and they all saw the movie. Robin said she didn't think they'd know what it was but they did. Howard asked if he has to see the first one to see this one. Jada said no but it's nice to see how it's evolved. Jada said that what Channing captured is what works in the business and what doesn't. Howard said he may like this movie. Robin said if he liked 50 Shades of Grey he will like this. Jada agreed. Howard said that he has to write something for the two of them to do together. Howard said it may not be a real movie. He said it starts off with Will being carried off by a giant bird. He said the kids love him too.
Howard asked if the kids think they're cool. Jada said sometimes they do. Just sometimes. Howard asked if they got any Emmy nominations for Gotham. Jada said she doesn't think so. She said she just enjoys having fantastic roles she can sink her teeth into.
Howard asked who she would invite to a party if she had a party at home. She said she loves Salma Hayek. Howard asked if she comes over to swim at her pool. Jada said she does. Howard asked if they can have a party where he comes over and Will flies off with a bird. Jada laughed. Howard asked who else would be at the party. Tisha Campbell came up. Howard asked if she's A-list. Jada said she's a friend. She said she's A-list in her mind.
Howard asked Jada what her favorite thing to do is. Jada said she golfs with Will. She also said she loves to hike. Howard said he could get into that. She said she likes going into the woods. Howard asked if she goes to that place in the hills where he was at for America's Got Talent. Gary asked if it was Runyon. Howard said that's it. Howard said he's going to go see Magic Mike XXL. Howard said he'll let her know what he thinks. Howard said it opens July 1st. Howard said they have some time. Jada said they have to get Howard a screener. Howard said he wants to watch it. Howard said that would be so impressive. Howard said he'll invite his friends over.
Howard asked if Jada has to do more promotion. She said she does. Howard said nothing will be as fun as this. Howard asked what she puts on her legs to make them so shiny. She said Will's ex-wife put out this product called WhipAsh and that's what she puts on. She said that white people can use it too because they get ashy too. Howard said it is bad when they get ashy. Howard said she has to keep using it. Howard said he loved her work in Gotham and he'll go see this Magic Mike XXL too.
Howard asked Jada about Caitlyn Jenner and how he's getting all of these endorsement deals and books and all of that. Howard said they say he'll be worth about $500 million. Jada sounded like she was shocked. Howard said he's going to become a woman now too.
Howard said he's thrilled that Jada came in. She said that she's glad she came in. She said she had a great time. Howard told her to say hi to Will and the kids. He wrapped up and gave her some plugs. He said you can find out more about the movie at MagicMikeMovie.com
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Howard said he knows Howie has a crush on him. He said that Mel has a crush too. He said she told him that they'd be a perfect couple in another universe. Howard said with that mug of his no less. Howard said he thinks they want to know what it would be like to make love to an alien.
Howard said on the season finale they'll all make love. Robin said when they all piled on top of each other it reminded her of the human centipede. Howard said they all got on and he thought his back was going to break. Howard said he had to go and do the news. The caller asked if he's ever chubbed up next to Heidi. Howard said he has no feelings for her. He said she is a beautiful woman though. Howard said he encourages them to show their boobs.
Howard had Fred play Robin into her news with a song parody. Robin started her news with a story about how Billy Joel is having a street named after him in Oyster Bay, Long Island. Howard said he's a super talented guy and a very nice guy so he deserves it. Robin said that Billy opened a motorcycle shop out there recently too.
Robin read a story about someone who met a person in a hotel to get plastic surgery. Robin said you have to be leery of that. Howard said that this woman wanted a butt implant and she died from the injections he gave her. Howard said of course the guy ran off. Howard said she was with her mother and she called 911. Robin said it was too late.
Howard took a call from a guy who wasn't paying attention so Howard figured he should hang up. Howard said he was interested because his name was something like Iranagel. Howard hung up just as the guy said ''hello.'' Howard said he should call back.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that they have been looking into the guy who is posting the animal abuse images. She said they found out the guy is in Hawaii so they're finding out more and going after him. Mariann also told Robin to stop making comments about Howard's hair. Robin said she didn't do that. She said that she was just talking about what Howard was saying. Howard said that Robin wasn't out of line. He said she's one of the only people who defends his looks. Howard said he can't watch that America's Got Talent. He said he can't look at himself.
Robin said Howard wasn't eating on that show last night. Howard said he doesn't want to eat on camera. He said they just let the others eat while he sat there.
Howard picked up on the guy he had earlier. His name was actually Ira Nagel, not Iranangel. Howard said the guys in the office got it wrong. Ira said he was one of the original Ramones. Howard said he was not. Howard asked if this is going to be a bad call. Ira said he just wanted to let people know he was the original Ramone. Howard said he has to get off the phone. He said he's been dealing with that for 40 years now.
Robin read about how Google is going to help you count calories by taking pictures of your food. Howard said he doesn't need that. Robin said the engineers are developing an algorithm to show a calorie count. Howard said he bets he can fool it by taking a picture of doody with sauce on it. Howard said he could trick that thing. Howard said they'll have some fun with that. Robin said Richard is so funny. He said he thought of this idea years ago. He said he didn't invent it though. Robin said they are working on it.
Howard said his favorite app is something called Wunderlist. Howard said it's not as robust as it could be but they announced that Microsoft just bought it. Howard said if they tied it all together it would be great. He said he knows they're going to fuck it up though. Howard said he's going to use that Google app to take a picture of JD's lunch and watch it explode. Howard said he sees the food JD eats every day and it's wild. Howard said he's always in the glass booth so it's like going to the zoo. He said JD hates when he watches him eat. Howard said his desk looks like the food court at the mall. He said he has a lot of paper on the desk.
Robin said that there are new Apple Homekit products coming out. Robin said they have some things that are Homekit compatible. Robin said you can turn lights on and off and more things will be coming soon. Howard said they're going to own the world. Howard said they'll start building a car soon too. Robin said that Tesla just announced that they have a home battery. Robin said just imagine being able to run your home from a battery. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said Jada was wearing ear pieces instead of headphones earlier. Howard said he has those so maybe he should try them. Robin said that she had no trouble hearing. Howard said they're called something. Gary said he can't remember now. Howard said that's his job. Gary said they're called Ultimate Ears. Howard said that's it.
Robin read a story about what they're going to be seeing at Comic-Con. Robin said that Disney showed anew line of wearable toys called Playmation. Robin read about the toys and how they're made to make kids feel like they're part of a movie. Robin said you know that adults are going to be the ones wearing them. Robin said this is what your son living in your basement will be doing.
Howard said he can see Hanzi doing that. Howard picked up on him but he was sleeping and snoring. Howard played a theme song for him about his snoring. That was from Eli Braden.
Robin read a story about a poll about who the greatest late night TV host was. Howard said it's probably Johnny Carson, David Letterman, maybe Jay Leno, maybe Jimmy Fallon or Jimmy Kimmel. Robin said it's Johnny Carson in first place. Robin said that he got 25 percent of the votes. Robin said David Letterman was in second. Third was Jay Leno followed by Fallon, Kimmel and Conan who were tied. Robin said Jon Stewart came in 6th. Howard said Jon is great.
Robin read about the woman who was killed by a lion while out on safari. Robin said she's from Westchester so she was from their area. Howard said photographers think they have to get a picture but there are a million of them out there. Howard said you can't judge how close they are to you. He said they don't know you're a photographer. Howard said the lion doesn't care. Howard said this woman was an editor on Game of Thrones too. Robin said she was over there helping with wildlife preservation. Robin said that you have to abide by the rules though. Howard said he kept his windows closed when they saw a woman in trouble once. He said there was no way he was opening his window.
Robin read a story about a man who was injured by a Bison when he approached it. Robin said the man was thrown in the air multiple times. Howard said there are plenty of pictures of animals so you don't have to get out there to see them. Robin said two weeks ago a man was gored by a bison when he turned his back to get his picture taken with the animal. Howard said he really hates that whole ''selfie'' thing. He said he hates the word and he hates the way the pictures are taken. Howard said he doesn't like the way he looks so he doesn't want to do it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he went to see Robert Plant in L.A. and he did 8 Led Zeppelin songs. Howard said that guy is such a nudnick. Howard said Jimmy Page wants to do a reunion show and he should be doing it with Robert Plant. Howard said Plant should let Jimmy play with him. The caller said he performed a bunch of Zeppelin songs. Howard said he wonders what the bug is up his ass. Howard said he's singing the songs.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who said that was a great interview with Jada. Howard said Speech Impediment Man loves Gotham. Howard said he loves it too. Speech Impediment Man said he wants her to come back for season two. Howard said he has a feeling she might. He said she did give him a wink when she left.
Robin read about the new Avengers movie and Howard said he finally saw it. Howard said he and Ralph went to see it. Howard said it's like the Marvel comics are coming to life now. Howard said it's done so seamlessly. Howard said he loved the movie. Robin said the film has reached $900 million in international box office sales. Robin said that it's up near the top of the list for biggest box office of all time. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about California trying to raise the minimum age for smokers. Howard said he doesn't know any person who smoked and had anything good come of it. Robin said Leonard Nimoy was barely able to breathe in his last days because of smoking. Robin said that they want to raise the legal age for smokers to 21 in California. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard said he doesn't see the vending machines anymore. Robin said you'd need a ton of coins. Robin said a pack is like 10 bucks. Gary said in the city they can be more. Someone told him they can be up to 15 bucks in the city.
Howard took a call from a guy who said Bruce Jenner's bulge is pretty big on the Vanity Fair cover. He said he didn't have the surgery yet. Howard said they talked about that earlier. Howard said he thinks he might have a boner in that cover.
Howard said he just got a note saying Scott pays $8 a pack in New Jersey for a pack of cigarettes. Howard said that he can't believe he's back to smoking. Robin said the look on Scott's face is ecstasy. Robin said he goes right down after the show and smokes. Howard and Fred did their Scott impressions and made his ''Chh'' sound a bunch.
Robin read about how Dennis Rodman is saying that he'd date Caitlyn Jenner. Robin said that he's asking her to call him. Howard said that he must have a big hose. He said that they'd be bigger than ever. Fred did his Caitlyn voice for a short time during that discussion. Robin had some audio of someone talking about transgender and what it can be like when they do the hormone therapy.
Robin read a story about Mike Huckabee making a joke about transgender back in February. Robin had some audio of Huckabee talking about that. Howard said that guy is becoming a laughing stock. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin had more Mike Huckabee clips to play. Robin also had more talk from the GOP hopefuls for the run for president. Robin had some audio of Rick Perry and some others like Chris Christie.
Howard said that Ralph got sick after the America's Got Talent taping schedule. Ralph said that wiped him out. He said he had to go back to Jersey after that. He said they were there until after midnight one night. Ralph said he'd go back for Howard but that's crazy for Howard. Ralph said Jada was great on the show. He said he thinks she's hotter now than she was. He said she seems to have her shit together too. Robin asked Ralph why it matters if a girl is crazy or not because Ralph is crazy. They talked about what she was wearing and Ralph wondered if they have pictures up. Howard asked Jason if he put any up. Jason said one is up on Twitter and he's going through the others now.
Robin read a story about a poll about who the front runners are for the presidential run. She had some details about that.
Robin read about how the Duggar family is ready to talk about their son's molestation allegations. Robin said the special will be on tonight. Robin said that they will be talking to Megyn Kelly about that.
Robin read a story about a drug being called a women's Viagra that will be heading to the FDA for testing. Robin said that some activists are saying that it's been biased toward men so far. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 11:15am.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. Jon said a lot was going on today. He said that Jason Alexander was on and he could listen to his Seinfeld stories all day. He said he was so enlightening about so many things. He said he talked about the people who auditioned for his part. Jon asked Rahsaan what the poll is about. Rahsaan said they're asking ''If Jason Alexander didn't get the part, who would you like to have seen play George Constanza?'' The choices were:
Jon said he thinks that Jason confirmed all of those as possibilities. Jon said that he can't imagine anyone else other than Jason in that part. Lenny said that Steve Buscemi would have been amazing. He said that he thinks the best person on that show was Jason as George on that show. Richie agreed. He said that he loved Michael Richards too but Jason's acting was so nuance while Kramer was busting through doors. Jon said they had Wayne Knight as Newman too. The guys spent a couple of minutes talking about that.
Jon said one thing Jason talked about was how he based George on Woody Allen. He said he also told that story about how it eventually clicked in with Jason and he started doing Larry. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jon said they have to give Jason credit for wearing the toupee and owning it immediately. He said others have done that but they hide from it. He said Jason just admitted why he was doing it.
Jon said the other thing Jason talked about was what happened to the character Susan on Seinfeld. Jon said that sometimes two actors don't click but this was on the biggest show in the world. Richie said that story line is one of the greatest in TV. Lenny said that was kind of dark for a sitcom on network TV. He said that they were wondering if we can enjoy someone dying on a sitcom. He said he had heard the golfball story on the set of his show. He said he was hoping that he'd tell it again. Richie said that it was great how they handled the death on Seinfeld. He said that it was just another thing that happened and they'd be on to the next thing. Jon said Jason was talking about how they could do the cruelest things to that character and the audience would still love George.
Gary said today was the first time he heard that they killed her off because they didn't like working with her. He said that he had heard the story told by Warren Littlefield before but this was a little different.
Gary said that they also found out that Jason and William Shatner are friends and they never talk about their hair.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's 40 years old and he's the chart demographic for what Seinfeld was. He said he was in the service back then so he missed out on Seinfeld. He said he has only seen maybe a dozen. He said he watches them now and they're awesome. He said it's all as relevant now as it was back then. Jon said that's why they're keeping the show alive and spending millions and billions on it.
Richie said he's jealous of this guy on the phone because he's getting to watch the show without knowing it. He said he should start from the beginning when it's on Hulu and watch it all.
Jon said it was nice to see Jason again today. Gary said he's such a great guy. He said he wants to go see Fish in the Dark again. He said he has to see Jason doing it. Jon said you know it'll be a different show and it'll be worth seeing Jason doing his thing. They went to break a short time later.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jon said they covered a lot with Jada today and she teared up over Tupac. Jon said that they also learned what it's like when Howard is really into a chick. He said Howard was really into her and he has been. Gary said he's sure that Howard could never look himself in the eye if he did something with her. He said he'd like to break that mirror though. Lenny said he loved the way Howard started talking about her as she walked in and didn't even introduce her.
Jon said he didn't realize how many times a character was created for her when she came in. Jon said she would get big roles written into a movie. Gary said that hot chicks are never sure they're as hot as they are. Gary said that they don't realize that ugly guys don't get shit written for them. Richie said that she talked about how she and Tupac didn't have chemistry but he's sure Tupac thought they did and she was the one who didn't.
Lenny said he remembers Jada being in Menace to Society and Jason's Lyric. He said just watch that because she's fine looking in that movie and she's naked a lot. Jon said that he should know they got Mr. Skin confirmation that you do see her ass but some of the scenes were a body double.
Gary said he didn't realize she was on A Different World. Gary said they used to have Jasmine Guy on the show a lot back in those days. Gary said she came in often.
Jon said Jada talked about how into her husband she is and how great their relationship is. Jon said that if you trust each other then nothing else matters. Jon said she said as long as they can look in the mirror and be okay with what they do then they're fine. Gary said that she also made a point about how she's no one's watcher. She doesn't tell him what to do and not to do.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he didn't care so much about Jada before today but Howard did another great interview. Lenny said it was a great interview. He said the stuff about her mom and growing up and all of that was amazing. He said he's not sure if she's talked about it before. He said that she was awesome. He said he wasn't really a fan of her stuff lately but she was great on the show.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he became a fan of Howard's when he was in Cleveland. He said he lost touch for years. He said he just got back into it and he heard his Madonna interview. He wonders if he's gotten soft lately. He said that it seems like Howard got softer from when he was on terrestrial. Gary asked how old the guy is. He said he's 50. Gary asked if he's the same guy he was at 25 that he is at 50. The guy said he is the same guy.
Jon said the thing is that when you're at Sirius you can say what you want but it becomes too easy. He said there they can say it but the mystery is gone. He said that's the way it is in life too. Gary said they were pretty crazy when they first got there. He said they did some wild bits. Lenny said Howard has matured. He said it would be like going up to a woman on the street and asking if she likes anal if Howard did that with every guest.
Gary said that you can do that and get the person to shut down or you can leave that out and talk for an hour and a half. That's what Howard has been doing.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard isn't going to be around for eternity. He said people have to appreciate what he's doing. He said he loves Howard like a brother. He said Howard has all of the worst neuroses that Jewish and Italians have. He said that Howard has the world by the balls. He said he's the best interviewer and he has more money than he'll ever need. Jon said that Howard is not happy with the way he looks or his weight. Jon said he may never be happy about that. Gary said Howard has matured but he's never been happy with his looks. He said he has been obsessed with the way he eats and the way he looks.
Lenny said that Howard has a hot wife but he still looks at himself like the underdog because of that. He said that's what makes the show good. He said Howard is getting all of this money and he's not taking days off. He said he's a hard worker. He said if he was happy with his looks he'd probably take more days off.
Richie said he can relate to Howard going through that stuff on the show. Gary said he loves when Howard is angry and cantankerous but just not when it's directed toward him. Lenny said they love it when it's directed toward Gary.
Jon asked Rahsaan for the results of today's poll. Rahsaan said that David Alan Grier who got the votes. He said DeVito came in second and Buscemi in third.
Jon got in some plugs for today's Sternthology and Lenny's show. Gary also said that Richie directed one of the greatest episodes of Shameless ever. He said it was the one where Emmy Rossum was having sex while she was on the phone with her boyfriend. Richie said she's one of the most talented actresses out there. They wrapped up and ended the show around Noon.
Jon played a ''What You Need to Know'' about today's show. He asked Rahsaan about today's poll and what that's about. Rahsaan said they're asking ''Which One of the Bands that Howard Discussed this Morning Should Be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?'' The choices are:
Jon said the answer for him is Yes. Jenny agreed. She said she doesn't even know who Mountain is. Gary told her that they do Mississippi Queen. She knew that song. Gary said that Leslie West from Mountain used to be on the show all the time. Gary said Mountain and Cream were very big in Howard's life.
Jon asked if Gary if he should be part of that since he votes on the nominees. Gary said he doesn't vote on who gets in the nominations. He said he votes on the nominees. He said he'd like to be in that position some day though.
Gary said someone was complaining about Green Day getting in. He said that there are different great bands from different eras.
Jon said he wants to talk about Robin's Cryotherapy with Jenny. Jenny said she loves it. She does it. Gary said he is fascinated by this but he's not sure why. Jon said Robin has had a lot of crazy hobbies and Howard is wondering why she's doing things like that after getting over cancer. Jon said it seems like a lot of famous people are doing it. Gary said it's people with a lot of money. Jenny said she was turned on to it by a friend. She said that she was told she has to try it. Jenny said she went in and they all speak German there. She said a friend asked her to come in with her and it looks like a spray tan booth. Jenny said you disrobe and you're basically naked. She said the friend she was with she thought was gay. She said they were talking and it turns out he wasn't gay. She said Jason is going to be so pissed. Jenny said she did the Cryo and it's an amazing anti-inflammatory. She said she felt amazing and she felt it boosted her metabolism. She said it's awesome.
Jon asked why she stopped doing it. She said that Jason hates it and the places in New York aren't the same type of places. She said that it really is a phenomenal thing. Jenny said that Jason actually loves Cryo but there isn't a good one there. She said she might invest in one.
Jon asked Gary if this is still appealing to him. Gary said that he runs a lot and he feels it more this year than he's ever felt it. Gary said he could feel it in his whole body. Jon said Gary should go with Robin and get in there naked with her. Gary said he's guessing that it's like $300-500 a hit. Jenny said that it's more like 200 a month unlimited. Jon said he knows a lot of athletes do it. He said he doesn't know a lot about it but it sounds wacky to him. Jenny said if he had a herniated disc in his back he'd be a believer. Jon asked how much of it is mental. Jenny said that this is the dry version of putting an ice pack on your knee.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard said it wasn't the Cryo that was bothering him but what's coming next with Robin. Gary asked if Jon thinks Howard believes some of the things Robin was doing contributed to her health issues. Jon said he does. Gary said that doesn't mean those things did contribute but maybe Howard thinks they do.
Jon said Robin has been that type of person to try anything once. He said it sounds more scientific now that he's heard what Jenny has to say about it. Jenny said this is more holistic than some things. She said that it might be better than popping a bunch of pills. Jon agreed. They went to break after that.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jon said that Jenny came in with her husband Jason Biggs. Jon asked if things would be different if she was in alone. She said she's herself in front of him. She said nothing would change. Gary said people can be different and he thinks it did with his wife in there. Jenny said she and Jason reveal too much when they're in together.
Gary said Howard came to his bachelor party and things went off the rails. He said they went to a party the next weekend and the guys who were at the bachelor party were completely different there at the other party.
Jon said he thinks that Robert Duvall is an underrated actor. Gary said he won an Oscar for Tender Mercy and he was great in that. Jon said he's a legendary actor.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to comment on Howard going after Robin with the Cryotherapy. He said she's had a huge trauma to her body. He said she must be searching for something to make her feel better. Gary said that he's banking on the idea that it's making her feel better. Gary said he thinks Robin wants to do it. Jenny said that it also helps with insomnia and depression. She said when you come out of it then you're on a high.
Jon asked Jenny how awkward things were with the friend in the Cryo thing. She said that it wasn't that awkward. She said Jason told her that she can't get naked with strangers though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said they spend all of their days up in Canada in cold temperatures and nothing good comes from it. Gary said that's a good point. Gary asked if there's any evidence that people in colder climates are healthier. The caller said that being cold doesn't help with things. He said people kill themselves from being cold.
Jon said it still sounds like a celeb thing to do. He said it sounds like that cool thing to do. Jenny said there's another place in L.A. where you wear an electric blanket and sweat. Jon asked if she tried that. Jenny said she didn't.
Gary said if you look in an African village you don't see anyone bullimic or anything. He said these issues just happen in first world places.
Jon took a call but the guy wasn't there. Jon said that Lebron James was doing the Cryo. Jon said that it shouldn't come as a surprise from Robin. He said she's done other things like that. Gary said he and Robin went to a place where they wrap you in cellophane to help you lose weight. He said it just got the water weight out of you. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.
Please visit Amazon.com for all of your shopping needs.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Jenny talked about what it was like working in the Groundlings and how some people really come alive when they're on stage. Gary said he saw Jack McBrayer and he was great at improv. He said he wasn't sure he'd be that good but he really is.
Gary said that Melissa talked about being Robin's waitress the first time she was on. She also talked about being a waitress for someone else this time. He said that's what's great about her. He said she still has that huge fandom for people. Jon said they still get it there too. Gary said he's always excited. He said you always see someone there. He said he gets just as excited to see Maureen McCormick as he does about anyone.
Jon said that Melissa works with her husband on movies and he wonders if it's more comfortable doing that. Jenny said she would never work for Jason. She said that they get into huge fights when he's coaching her on a part. She said they did a movie together and it was fun because they played a couple and they were working together. She said she thinks Jason was great in it too. She said that you do get more out of it when it's not just with some random guy.
Gary asked if Jason ever gets a part and Jenny wants him to get her a part. Jenny said she hates acting now but this movie they did was fun. She said that they asked her to play Jason's wife in the movie and she thought it was going to be a 2 line role. She said she was like the third lead in it and she had a great time doing it.
Gary said it's interesting when you see people in movies who are related and you wonder how that plays off the screen. Jon said that Judd Apatow does that with his family.
Jenny said the stuff you see on TV in the reality shows are all scripted. She said that it's not real. That led to the guys talking about Caitlyn Jenner. Jenny said she loves it because it's such a big fuck you to Kris Jenner. Gary said that it is interesting but if you don't like it then close your eyes for a week and it'll be gone. Jon said he doesn't think so. He said the family is still in the limelight.
Gary said there's a petition on Change.org to have his gold medal rescinded. He said people think that because he thought he was a woman back when he won the medal that he shouldn't have been competing as a man. Jon said that he won the decathlon. He said it's a done deal. Gary said they played an interview with Bruce Jenner on Sternthology. Gary said he's working on getting Caitlyn on too. Jon said Howard is talking to her in a way but it's through Fred.
Jon asked Rahsaan for the results of the poll. Rahsaan said that 32 percent went to Mountain. 30 percent for Cheap Trick. Yes was in third place. Jon got in some plugs and ended the show a short time later. They were done around 11:45am.