|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard and the guys were back from vacation this morning. Howard started the show talking about a Showtime special about David Bowie. He said it's pretty good. Robin said she did too. Fred said he forgot about it. Howard said they didn't have a lot of concert footage in it. Robin said Tony Visconte doesn't have an English accent anymore. Howard asked if that was bullshit. Robin said he was from Brooklyn. Howard said that's a mystery they'll have to solve.
Howard wished Robin a belated birthday. Howard said everyone celebrated. Robin said there were fireworks and everything. Howard said they're usually on the air for her birthday. Robin said they're actually on break usually. She said thank you to Howard for the most amazing birthday gift. She said it was way above and beyond.
Howard said he tried calling Robin but it's not possible to get in touch with her. Robin said she was on her boat and running in and out of the house all day. She had guests at her home. Howard said she was born in Baltimore and the daughter of a steel worker. Howard said now she's on a boat for her birthday. Robin said it's only in America. Howard said that's America. He said this is why we have to defeat ISIS.
Howard said he was reading about ISIS and what's going on over there. He said that people say fuck Israel but they're the only ones who will fight with us. He said they're killing Christians over there in the middle east. Robin asked who he thinks funds ISIS. Howard was going to answer but Robin said that it was a rhetorical questions. She said it's those governments over there.
Howard said these people in Israel made that area nice enough to live in. He said they're being bombed every day and they're defending themselves. He said he's not sure why that's so difficult to see. He said all of these fuckers like Roger Waters and those two idiot actors Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz don't talk about what's going on in the Ukraine. Howard said there are conflicts all over the world that they don't comment on. They don't say a word about the President of Russia. Howard said he thinks they're anti-Semites. Howard said he's had Roger on the show but they don't say a thing about the girls in Africa or when Russia invades Ukraine. Howard said they don't talk about those things at all. He said the only time they pipe up is when it's about Israel. Howard said they call Israel a disgrace. Howard said you have to question why. He said they only speak up about Israel. Howard said he it's old fashioned Anti-Semitism. He said the whole world is nuts.
Robin said she saw Morty from Letterman at the live AGT show the other day. Robin said she saw him and he told her that he had just gotten back from Israel. Howard said that Javier Bardem thinks that they should just accept the bombs over there. Robin said Morty told her that they have earthquakes in L.a. and they deal with them so maybe they should just deal with the bombings over there.
Howard said Jon Voight shamed Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz. Howard said he's great in Ray Donovan too. Howard said that he's proud of these people who speak out against these people. Howard said it's crazy. Robin asked what Jon Voight said. Howard said he saw him on FOX News and he wrote some article about this. He said it was beautiful. He said that guy gets it. Robin said it's odd when he gets something. Howard said you don't have to be a rocket scientist. He said it's very simple. Howard said if he lit your house on fire he'd beat you up. He said he's not sure what the problem is understanding that.
Howard said the planet will cure itself and it will take thousands of years for that to happen. He said the humans are going to die off and the planet will survive.
Howard said he was reading another article in the NY Times about some 12 year old band named Unlocking The Truth. Howard said they're just 12 years old and they got signed by a record label. Howard said he looked them up and wasn't able to find anything that good. Fred found a song. He Howard said he thinks they just do music and don't have a singer. Howard said they're self described nerds according to the article. Howard said they should hire that dog from Caninus. Robin said that dog died. Fred said his name was Basil.
Richard Christy came in and said that they're great. He said he saw them on the news about a year ago. Richard said hardly anyone gets a good record deal but these guys did. Howard said they're black kids too.
Howard said he saw a movie called ''The Last Days Here'' and asked if Richard saw it. Richard said he did and it was great. Howard said this band called Pentagram was around in the 70s. He said the lead singer was such a nightmare that the band fell apart. Howard said that they couldn't perform because of the lead singer's problems. Richard said they went to Gene Simmons house to be signed and they weren't even able to do that right. Howard said the movie was so great. He said the ending is great. He said it's called ''Last Days Here'' and it's great. Howard said it's so compelling. Richard said their music was so way ahead of their time. Fred played one of their songs.
Howard said Jeff Bridges is coming in today. Richard is wearing a bowling shirt in honor of that. Howard said he loves that guy. He said he was in so many great films. He said he's fucking awesome. Robin said he's done so many good movies. Howard said he's coming in today and he's anxious to meet him. Howard said he's got a movie coming out called The Giver. Richard said he's been attached to that movie for like 20 years.
Howard said he watched Benjy's scene in Sharknado 2. He said they don't show him being eaten by a shark. Howard said a big rubber shark landed on him and then they cut away. Howard said Benjy could be in Sharknado 3. Benjy said he will be. He said he's going to be in it. He said he's in talks. He said he thinks he'll be in it. Howard said it's never clear with him. Benjy said there is no definite thing but he wants to be in it. He said he has emailed and Twittered with people from the movie. Howard said he's not in it. Benjy said he is in it. He said the contract hasn't been signed yet but he will be in Sharknado 3. Howard asked if he's trying to be funny. Benjy said he's not. Howard said he just needs to answer the question. Then he said he doesn't care.
Howard said he wanted to talk to Benjy in a serious way but he can't. Howard said he'd rather be eaten by a shark than talk to Benjy.
Robin said she saw Sharknado 2 and the acting is so bad you can't stop watching. She said the best actors in the whole thing are Matt Lauer and Al Roker. Howard said they're surprisingly good huh? Robin said they are.
Gary came in and said he watched Sharknado 2 with about a dozen people and no one wanted to turn it off. He said everyone talked during it though. He said they all wanted to see who was going to show up. Howard said he felt ripped off by Benjy's part. Gary said the whole special effects in the movie were bad. Howard said they're among the worst. Howard asked why they don't put some money into it. Gary said he thinks that's what people love about it.
Howard said he wanted to hear what Benjy was saying before but it turned into a ridiculous conversation. Gary said that the whole notion that he's not dead is ridiculous. He said that he got eaten by a shark in the movie. Howard said it went to black and you hear Benjy screaming. Richard said they should have him in the next one making out with a dude or something. Howard played a clip of Benjy's scene from the movie. Benjy was screaming about people repenting and then he gets eaten.
Richard said he got his line wrong. It was ''He has seen what you has done'' and they kept that in. Howard said they didn't care that he screwed up.
Gary said watching with his friends he found out they were impressed he knew someone who was in the movie. Howard said he heard his belly fell out of his shirt. Benjy said it does but that was his character's belly.
Richard said some lady came and passed out in a friend's tent and he had to kick her out. He said she was so drunk that she didn't know it wasn't her tent. Richard said this was in Cooperstown, New York. Robin said now that town smells like urine.
Howard asked how many beers Richard had. Richard said he's not sure he can count that high. Richard said he had to sleep on the ground because he didn't have a sleeping bag. He said he thinks it's worth it for a good time. Robin asked why he wouldn't take a sleeping bag. Richard said he has no place to put it in his apartment when he gets back.
Howard said that's the life of an alcoholic. Howard said there's a documentary about Roger Ebert's life and he was an alcoholic. He said that he wanted to stop waking up feeling like crap so he stopped drinking. He said he joined AA and got out of that. Howard asked Richard when he's going to stop. Richard said it's not every weekend. He said he and his wife ran 7 miles before going to the fest.
Gary said they had Richard out at Comic-Con and he went to a brewery where he got to drink right out of the vat. He had beer on his face and he came up with a new name for that. He said he calls it being Brew-Kakke'd.
Howard said he would be nauseated doing that. He said he would never drink out of anyone else's bottle. He said no one has any hygiene. He said Richard is disgusting. He said that he'd vomit from that beer fest.
Howard asked what it cost to get into this thing. Richard said it was about $80 a ticket to get in. He said all of the beer was free. It's just sample sizes though. He said you just go and get a bunch of samples. Richard said he brought a big cooler full of beer there. He said he had about 30 in that. He said you have to bring your A-game to this thing. He said that he had to bring stuff that no one had seen. He said he had some stuff from Michigan.
Richard said his friend brought 50 pounds of ground beef and he was making burgers for everyone. He said it was great. He said he loves Belgian beer. He said he and his wife are going to Belgium to check it out over there. Howard said that he's acting like this beer is so different. He said it can't be that different.
Howard said good for you man. Richard asked if he ever went camping. Howard said he did until he was about 19 and then he was done with it forever. He said he had more than enough. Howard said he was disgusted with the outdoors. Howard said now camping is like going to a hotel. Richard said that they have something called glamorous camping or ''glamping.'' Howard said he might do that. Then he changed his mind and said he wouldn't do that.
Richard said there was some bug up there that he kept getting bit by. He said he's never seen that before. He said he was wearing socks but he had shorts on. Howard said he's not sure who would wear shorts when you're laying on the ground. Howard asked if he made doody up there. Richard said he didn't. He said that he got it all out before he went up there. Howard thanked Richard for coming in. Richard said he can't wait for Jeff Bridges. He asked Howard if he saw The Big Lebowski. Howard said he didn't but he likes Starman. Howard told Richard to lock himself in his room back there and not bother Mr. Bridges.
JD came in and said that Richard has seen the Big Lebowski and he laughs at one scene very time. He had some audio of that. Richard said it's where his landlord odes a dance recital thing. Howard played the clip and Richard was laughing really hard at the scene. Richard said he was cracking up last night watching it again.
Howard said Richard and Sal made a prank call with Tan Mom and it's so funny. Howard said that Tan Mom is in their studio and Sal and Richard had her take a call. Richard was playing clips of her while she's standing just feet away from him. He said she's arguing with herself and she doesn't know it. Howard played the new call and Sal puts her on the line with her own voice and she doesn't know it's her. Richard is playing clips of Tan Mom and she's arguing with herself. Richard had clips of her telling herself to shut the fuck up and things like that. Robin said that is incredible. She didn't recognize her voice at all. Howard said she is so fascinating to him. Richard said he had to put his hand over his face because he was laughing so hard. Howard asked how she can't know that's her own voice. Richard said Big Food did that too. He said he had no idea it was his own voice. Howard said they may have to test her IQ.
Richard said she's so nice when she's up there. Howard said Sal wants to fuck her too. Richard said Sal says he doesn't watch porn anymore. Howard said he has said that too but he was watching it last night. Howard said he found a good one on YouPorn. He said the first one was a girl who was tied up and she's begging a guy to give her an orgasm. Howard said the one he watched that he really liked was a cuckold video where this woman is blowing a guy in front of her husband. Howard said you see the husband in the background. Howard said the guy she's messing around with is a big guy who can kick ass. Howard said the wife was really hot too. Howard said he didn't get that far into it before he exploded. He said that's pretty good for him at his age. He said sometimes he just gives up. He said nothing happens and it just goes away. He said it's like tugging on taffy. He figured he's finally maturing.
Richard asked if he's ever passed out while masturbating. Howard said he hasn't. Howard said he's not an alcoholic. Richard said Jason was found passed out after jerking off. He said his wife found him with the porn still playing. Howard asked how that happens. Then he said Jason does like to smoke.
Gary said that Sal is back into porn and he's watching something called Trailer Park Swingers. Howard said he heard Sal talking about how he was crying at the KISS concert with his kids there. Richard said Sal was hanging out with Larry Caputo there. He said that he's the Long Island Medium's husband. He said Sal likes that because all of the Long Island wives come up to him and want autographs and pictures.
Howard said Sal was crying at KISS because his kids were there and he was so proud of them. He said Sal told the kids he wasn't crying and it was the fog machine causing it. Richard said that's not the first time Sal cried at a KISS concert. He said he'd done it before. Howard asked if Sal could be a bigger douche. He said he had to go to break after that. Howard said they have a lot to get to today. He said he doesn't even want to break because he has so much he wants to talk about.
Howard took a call from Wolfie but he wasn't there. Howard said he doesn't have a theme song anyway. Howard played him a theme song about how he shouldn't get a song. Wolfie eventually picked up. Howard asked where he was. Wolfie said he was right there. Howard said he was not. Wolfie said he was in the kitchen.
Wolfie asked if Howard's mom was a good cook when he was growing up. Howard said she was really good but he didn't appreciate it for some reason. Howard said she'd be cooking all day long and wanted credit for that. Howard said she'd recite a mantra about how much suffering went into it. He said everything she made was super fattening too. Howard said Wolfie must live in a haunted house. He said that he's walking around and not even listening to what they're talking about. Wolfie said he is listening. Howard had Fred playing sound effects of doors opening and things like that.
Howard said his mom made good meals. He said he was a heavy kid because everything was so fattening. Howard said she'd put chicken fat in mashed potatoes. He said it must have been like 10,000 calorie dinners. Howard said it was so fattening. Howard said she'd start out with melba toast and jam. Then she'd make these fattening meals and complain that she was heavy. Howard said he'd eat Chef Boyardee and things out of cans a lot too. He said he'd mix that stuff up with other canned stuff. Howard said his mother would get upset over that too.
Wolfie said that all kids seem to get upset if you push something on them. Howard said his mother would get upset. He said she'd get so angry that she'd make him sit there and eat steak. Howard said sometimes he'd stick pieces of that up his nose to hide it. He said he's not kidding about that either. He said he'd cut it into small pieces and hide it in there. He said he could fit quite a bit in there.
Howard said his dad has his thing with his cereals. He said that he changes it up every day. He said he has to mark off what he ate one day so he doesn't eat it the next day. He said he has to rotate it evenly instead of just having what he wants. Howard said he likes this stuff called Rice and Shine. Howard said he changes his mind at times so he just eats what he wants. He said his dad doesn't get that concept. He said you don't have to have a law saying what you eat. Robin said his dad can change it up. Howard said he can't. Robin said Howard eats the same thing for lunch and breakfast every day. Howard said he gets the same thing but he can change it whenever he wants.
Howard said his daughter wants to get all of his mother's recipes but he's not sure how she'd going to do it because his mother doesn't write any of that stuff down. Howard said they're going with her. Howard said everything was fried. He said you could fry a shoe in that shit and it would taste good.
Wolfie said that Chef Boyardee stuff is gross. Howard said that it's quick and easy to cook. He said that it's kind of the same thing as going to McDonald's instead of going to a decent restaurant. He said sometimes he just wanted something fast.
Howard said his mother loves AGT. Howard said she's impressed with the talent on the show this season. He said that his mom talks about how great Nick Cannon is. Howard said she saw him out promoting on other shows. Howard said his mom thinks that he's a delightful person. Howard said he is a great guy. He said his mom thinks he's terrific. Howard said his mom was also wondering what's up with the other judges and that skater guy. Howard said Howie Mandel told him that he has characters on his show like Riley Martin. Howard said it's not the same thing. Howard said Howie has been on the show the longest and he still doesn't understand. Howard said they're trying to find a million dollar act on AGT. Howard said that Riley Martin is not a million dollar act. Howard said they barely pay him. He said Riley is interesting. He said that skater guy isn't. Robin said he's not funny and he's not a great skater. Robin wondered what he was doing there. Howard said it's not a great act. He said he isn't even funny.
Howard said Howie and Mel B were guffawing and standing up clapping during his act. Howard said they were laughing in a way that sounded phony to him. Howard said Heidi was so out of it she was saying he was the funniest comedian they had. Howard said that the guy who went the first week was fabulous and that's such an insult. He said that she's being influence by Howie and Mel. Howard said he thinks they're nuts. Howard said if there's a really funny guy like a Tiny Tim guy he'd laugh. Howard said those karate guys were funny. Robin said they had the funny tumblers last year. Howard said they were good too.
Bobo mentioned a couple of names like Abigail and someone else who were top contenders in his opinion. He also asked if he's annoyed by Howie constantly plugging his Twitter account. Howard said it is kind of annoying. He said he's not sure why he has to do that. Howard said it's kind of like Jackie and his constant plugging. Howard said it used to bug the shit out of him when Jackie did it.
Howard said he likes Howie. He said he doesn't really annoy him. Howard was going to let Bobo go. Bobo said he's moving to Florida so he'll call him from there next time. Bobo said his business up there isn't what it should be and he wants to have a different life down there. He said that he's moving to an area that's supposed to be one of the top 97 places to live. He said he's worked since he was 16 and now he's done. Bobo said he is retired but he was doing side work.
Howard asked if he sold his house or not. Bobo said they're still in negotiations. He said that he's not going to talk about that though. Howard asked what he had it for sale for. Bobo said his house was worth over $475,000 and now he's lucky to get 300,000 for it. He said that he's taking a huge hit because of what Hurricane Sandy did to the area. Bobo said he's renting in Florida for now. He said he'll figure out what he wants to do after that. Bobo said he's renting a 3 bedroom estate and it has two bathrooms.
Howard asked what he's going to do about his hair down there. Bobo said he's going to have to send it back up to New York. He said he won't be able to get it done personally. Howard said he should just change his name and get rid of that thing.
Howard asked if when he says that it's in the top 97 places to live it's got to be at number 97. Bobo said it is. He said that it's a great place though. He said there's a country club down the street. Howard said country clubs would never let Bobo in back in the old days. Howard said Bobo's not so stupid. Bobo said that he's right. He said he's doing just fine with what little he had. Howard said that's his mantra to say that.
Howard asked if he's going to Winter Spring, Florida. Bobo said that's it. Howard said that's what he found when he searched it. It came up as number 97 in the nicest places to live. Howard played him out with another Bobo theme song.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that Bobo is like the guy in The Strain who puts his face and wig on. He also told Howard that there are old and new vampires on the show so that's why some can talk and some can't. They spent a minute on that but Howard said it's too inside to talk about. He let Ralph go and went to break a short time later.
Howard played one of Eric's tips and he was talking about going to a Chinese buffet early to get fresh and hot food. He said if you go late it's cold. Howard said he thought that was reasonable. He said he likes that one. Howard said this is where it turns into a day care center for the restaurant.
In the second clip Eric said don't let them tell you when to leave at the restaurant. He said you tell them to fuck off if they tell you to leave. Eric said he's going to get his money's worth. Howard said he just won't leave. Robin said he can't be eating constantly. Howard said you've seen him in action. Robin said she wonders what he's doing there the whole time. She said he's not sitting down with a laptop.
Howard played another tip and Eric was talking about getting a bigger spoon to eat with. He said you don't use a tablespoon. You get a bigger one.
Eric also suggested that you go to the buffet and if they ask you to leave you say you don't understand what they're saying. Howard said Eric sits there pretending he doesn't understand. Howard said he's emptying whole trays of Chow Mein onto his plate.
Howard played another tip where Eric suggested taking a shit before you go to the buffet to make room. Howard laughed and said he's so vile. Howard asked what's with the saliva in his throat. Howard said you can throw up from that.
Howard said they gave Jeff the Drunk a Real Doll and they interviewed her about that. Howard played a couple of clips they made up of the girl talking about how she threw up when Jeff entered her and things like that.
Howard said they have some birthday wishes for Robin from some celebrities. He had some phony clips they made up with Justin Bieber, Oscar Pistorius impersonators. Howard said that he had a clip of Rachel Butera doing her Rosie O'Donnell since they haven't heard from her lately. Robin asked what happened to Rachel on AGT. Howard said she didn't make it through. He said she didn't have the material in the second audition. Howard said she was so terrific the first time. Howard said she is so talented. Howard said she's not on the show anymore.
Howard said there were a lot of Baba Booey mentions at golf games this weekend. Howard played some examples. There were a few really good Baba Booey shout outs. Howard and Robin were rating them on how good they sounded. Howard said they're all good. He said it's become a part of golf.
Hanzi said that one day he's going to get his head punched. Howard told him to fuck off. Robin said he had no argument. Hanzi cursed Robin out too. He said that she's such a ''coon.'' Robin said that he's a mental patient. Howard said if someone called him out about his Muslim background he'd get upset. Hanzi said Howard called himself a hero for staying on the air on 9/11. Howard said he never said he was. He said maybe someone else did but he never said that. Howard told Hanzi to move out of his parents house and get a life.
Howard told Hanzi to get back to Melrose and debate him. Melrose asked if he knows the history of Gaza. Hanzi said they don't even know it. Melrose kept calling Hanzi a cunt. Howard thanked them for the call and let them both go. Howard said ''Fuck Hanzi.''
Howard said Sarah Palin was saying nice things about him on her new web site. Howard said this is confusing to him. Howard said he thought she was going to be nude so he subscribed. Howard played a clip of Palin talking about Israel and talking about Howard and how she agrees with him on Israel. Palin quoted Howard's ''If you're anti-Israel then you're anti-America.'' comment. She said Howard is right about that. She said that Israel is just defending themselves against Hamas. Howard said he was doubting his view after hearing that. He said she must be reading. Robin said she talks to you like your mom. He said that's some delivery but he can't argue with that. He said he had to take a break and then get to Jeff Bridges. Howard said he loves the dude. He said he can't wait to talk to him. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said that Jeff Bridges is a great actor. He said he's a 6 time Academy Award nominee. Fred played some of Jeff's music as he was coming in. Howard said it's funny how actors and musicians want to be musicians and actors.
Jeff said that he wasn't able to get a 90 minute CD to record his stuff on. He said he had to get two 80 minutes for Howard. Jeff said that he's 74 and then corrected himself and said he's 64.
Howard said Jeff is a 6 time Oscar nominee. Howard said great painters grow up where their parents were painters. Howard asked if he thinks he's great because that's how he grew up with acting parents. Jeff said that his dad, Lloyd, was so passionate about it. He said he wanted his kids to get into it. He said he resisted though. He said that he didn't want to do it because his parents were pushing him into it. Jeff said that he tried to not get into it. Jeff said he wanted to be a musician. He said he told his dad he didn't want to act. He said his dad told him not to be ridiculous. He said if he acted he could do all of the things he wanted to do but act them.
Howard asked if he told his kids not to get into it. Jeff said he has three daughters and he told them that having a famous dad can be an issue. Howard said he remembers that Jeff came on the scene and he thought of him as Lloyd Bridge's kid. Jeff said he wanted to spare his kids from that. He said he kind of regrets it now. He said that his kids wondered what they wanted to do for a living and he told them in their 20s that they could get into acting. He said he's sorry he didn't encourage them earlier. He said they don't really want to do it now.
Howard said he loved Jeff in Starman. He said he thought he was imitating a kid but he says he was being a bird. Jeff said he had young kids at the time so he was kind of using that. Jeff said there's a wonderful comradery with entertainers. He said he feels like he has something with Howard. Howard said he feels comfortable when he meets someone in show business. He said it's like being in a cool club.
Howard asked Jeff if he played football in school. Jeff said he did a little bit but his brother Beau played more. He said he did really well with it.
Howard asked Jeff about his father and if he was bummed about the Airplane movies coming out and being a goof. Howard said they were some of the greatest movies ever though. He asked if his father was bummed. Jeff said it was the opposite actually. He said his dad was so good in Sea Hunt. He said people thought he was a skin diver for real. He said that the flip side of that was getting offered a lot of skin diving roles. He said his dad replaced Richard Kiley in Man of Lamancha on Broadway. He said he loved Airplane too. He said that he loved seeing his dad in Airplane because of the drug references. He said their dad was so straight laced.
Howard asked Jeff about the movies today and how he decides what to do. Jeff said he has a weird method. He said he resists working as much as he can. He said he likes doing music and hanging out with his wife and family. He said the best way to describe it is that he had a dream once and he made a painting out of it. He said he was floating down a river with cliffs on either side. There are huge whirlpools in it and there is a jewel in the whirlpools. He said his task is to get past those jewels without being caught in the whirlpools. He said that he waits for the right jewel to come around. He said the title of the painting is ''Jeff Makes a Decision.'' Howard said he doesn't really need to work anymore so he can spend his time doing what he wants. Jeff said it was like that even before he was successful.
Jeff said he resists doing just about everything. He said even getting married he resisted. He said he lived with his wife for about 3 years before that happened. He said he had a theory. He said if Death is the end of the story then Marriage is a big step in that direction. He said a fear of marriage is like a fear of death. He said that it's no more women and you're dying man. He said that you have a kid and then you've served your purpose. Jeff said his wife, Sue, said to him that she understood his indecision. She said she was going t move back to Montana if he wasn't going to marry her. Jeff said he dropped to his knees and asked her to marry him that Thursday. He said it was on a Monday so he wanted to get it done quickly. He said for the next 3 years he was a pouting son of a bitch. He said they went on their honeymoon and all he could smell was the rotting mangos. He said his wife put up with him for years. He said it's just getting better and better now. He said he's been married for 37 years now.
Howard asked if he went to therapy for that. Jeff said he thinks that they took some skills from therapy. He said that they have struggles in marriage and they're really gifts. Howard asked how he got through them. Jeff said it's love. He said that's the corny thing to say. Jeff said that you have to figure things out and what they do that helps is to sit close together and the task of one person is to express themselves and the other listens. He said you really don't know what the other person is like and that's what you have in common.
Howard asked Jeff if he can't talk during those moments then what does he do when she complains about something he does. Howard asked how he can sit there and take it. Jeff said it's tough but one of the things is that the success of doing that is like a gift. He said the only way to get over that is to have your love grow.
Howard asked what Jeff does that upsets his wife. Jeff said he gets excited and he writes checks he can't cash. He said that he isn't talking about money though. Jeff said he gets on the internet and he looks up the results he gets automatically. He said he sees this thing that says ''Jeff Bridges for Senator.'' He said there are people who want him to run for senator of Montana. He said that his wife looks at him and tells him not to even think about it. Jeff said when he's up he can do anything. He said when he's down he wonders what he committed to. Robin asked if he's manic depressive. Jeff asked if everyone is.
Howard asked if he was like that when he started acting. Jeff said that he loves and hates it. He said that it's the gamut. Howard said when he started acting he was in the coast guard. Jeff said he was kept out of Vietnam because of that. Jeff said he was. Howard said he got out by going into the Coast Guard. Howard said he was in the service but he didn't have to go to Vietnam. Jeff said he was actually in the Coast Guard reserve for 7 years. He said he had to shave his head for that and he had movie roles he was taking. Jeff said that he had to go to things for the Coast Guard every couple of weeks. He said that he'd have to do 2 or 3 weeks solid to make up for that.
Jeff said that he had to go to boot camp and they try to strip you of your personality there. He said he remembers the platoon leader saying that they were either going to go to church or go to the grinder all day. He said he remembers going to church and the chaplain telling him that when they were there they weren't in the military, they were in the church of god. He said that he got to play guitar there. He said that he was there to entertain the troops. Jeff said the chaplain told him he wanted to turn him on to something so he gave him some civilian clothing. He said that he took him out to see a band play. He said that guy later married him to his wife Sue. Howard said he must have hit it off with the guy. Jeff said that must be it.
Howard asked if Jeff has a lot of friends. Jeff said not really. He said he hangs out with his band. He said that he has handful of friends. Howard asked if he has famous friends. Jeff said he has some. He said Bud Cort. He said he's friends with Gary Busey. He said that he's a dear friend but they haven't seen each other in the past few years. He said they've done like 4 movies together and they get deep during those movies. He said that it's like having a brother.
Howard asked about working with Cybill Shepherd. He said he had a title romance with her. Howard asked Jeff about his first big movie and if he had to audition for that. Jeff said he still has to audition today. Howard asked if he will campaign for a part if he loves a movie. Jeff said he will. Howard said he just assumed the world was his oyster. Jeff said he gets anxious about pulling it off or not. He said he likes doing auditions. He said he doesn't mind doing them. He said it's a good way to find out if he's their boy or not.
Jeff said he feels like he's never prepared enough but he does prepare. Howard said he could imagine. He said that they just read back his lines in an audition. Jeff said he has to read against some casting guy or something. Howard asked if it feels like the weirdest profession. Jeff said it really is weird. He said in the past he's asked to just imagine their lines and let him say his own lines. He said he does it in his mind because it's so distracting having someone reading off a sheet of paper.
Howard asked if he gets upset when he's rejected. Jeff said casting is everything. He said if they don't think he's right for the thing then he's not right for it. He said he's fine with that.
Howard said the rejection must be tough and that must be why he turned his kids away. Jeff said that he must have had some moments he got upset about being rejected but he can't think of any.
Jeff said that the movie ''Chef'' is great. He said he just saw that on the plane. He said Jon Favreau is great in it. Howard said Jeff did Iron Man and he said something about how it was like an amateur thing because they wrote it as they went along. Jeff said you'd think they'd have a script but no. He said that was the one Favreau directed. Jeff said he likes to be prepared but he'd go to work and there was no script for the scene that day. He said they'd get in their trailer and talk about what they were going to do. Jeff said they'd change parts and they'd call writers and make it up that day. He said the crew was ready to go to work and it was so stressful. He said he made an adjustment and told himself it was just a $200 million student film. He said that Downey just surfed that wave so beautifully. He said that he and Favreau were great at what they did and it was great. He said Favreau had a lot of pressure on him. He said he was able to keep it cooking with the suits from Marvel in the room with them. He said he surfed it so beautifully.
Howard said you'd think they'd have something on the page. Jeff said they did but it was the wrong something. Jeff said they worked for 2 weeks on the changes and then they came in and threw it all out.
Howard asked if he thinks they should have given him a writing credit. Jeff said no. Howard said you'd think a special effects movie like that would be locked down. Jeff said maybe that's why it wasn't that important. He said the special effects were great in it too. He said it was such a good one. Howard said it must be exciting to do a movie like that and have so many people see it. Jeff said that's the best one out of those kind of movies.
Howard said he loves to read about the movies he didn't do or could have done. He said he has a laundry list of them. Howard said he turned down Indiana Jones. Jeff said none of them are true. He said not one of them. Howard said he turned down Jaws. Jeff said he didn't to his knowledge. Howard said he read that he turned down a role in Ghost and Pretty Woman. Jeff said no to those too. He said he never turned those down.
Howard asked Jeff if he ever sees a movie and wishes he had the part. Jeff said not really. Howard asked what he does when he's working with someone who isn't that good at their job. Jeff said he's not sure what he would do. Howard asked what he does when the director is shit. Jeff said he's had so many great experiences with first time directors. Jeff told Howard he did one movie where they were ding a scene in a movie and it wasn't working out. He said he kept asking the director what they were going to do. He said the guy showed him the hand when he went over to him. He said he was telling him to back off. Jeff said that meant that he'd get to it later. He said you just have to surf that wave. Jeff said you can't worry about what would be better. He said there is no time for pouting. He said you just get the job done. Jeff said this scene was coming up in a few days. Then he had a talking to with himself and he figured he was asking for apple juice out of an orange. He said that he told himself to create a virtual director. He said he needed answers so he could talk to the producer and visual director and camera man. He said he went around the director. He said that gave him a lot of relief. He said it didn't make the scene perfect but it helped him a lot.
Howard said Jeff seems very mature. He asked what he does when he's around complete divas. Howard said Downey is a regular guy and he's not a pain in the ass. He asked what you do when you're involve with a pain in the ass actor. Jeff said if you have a scene and it's supposed to be a sunny day and it's raining you just have to deal with it. He said he doesn't think he's worked with a diva. He said he worked with Barbara Streissand and she wasn't a pain in the ass. He said she was great to work with.
Jeff told Howard about working with Steve Kloves on The Fabulous Baker Boys and how great he was as a director. He said he'd give him a scene to do and they'd work out an improv scene. He said that Steve got it and he understood what acting was. Howard asked what the point of all of that was. Jeff said it's just practice. Howard said if someone told him to practice radio he'd tell them to fuck off. Jeff said they're practicing that right now, man. Howard said that Marlon Brando just came in and wrote his lines on his arm or something. Jeff said it's different strokes for different folks.
Howard said that Jeff doesn't get into this method acting, right? Jeff said he doesn't. He said that he does what works for him. Howard said that Daniel Day Lewis does that to the extreme. Jeff said whatever he's doing is working for him.
Howard asked Jeff about being in a movie with a beautiful actress and if he is in love for that time. Jeff said that's why marriages fall apart in Hollywood. Jeff said that a lot of people fall in love while they're making movies. He said that feeling is so available during those times. Jeff said that you have two people conjuring up these feelings and he's feeling that with Howard right now. Howard told him to come tongue him right now. Howard said he has experienced that when a guest leaves. He said he feels they hit it off and then they don't contact him again.
Jeff said that he and Howard might have that. Robin asked if he lives in Montana. Jeff said he does on and off. Howard said he's not visiting him there. Jeff laughed. He said that he can come back on the show and pick up from where they left off.
Jeff told Howard about working on Against All Odds and how he shot a love scene with Rachel Ward while she was on her honeymoon. He said that it's not a sexy thing when you shoot a scene like that. Howard said he doesn't believe that at all. Howard said he was hard in every scene he did in his movie Private Parts. Howard said he had a hard on in the tub with that woman and he told the director that and she told him to just go with it. Jeff laughed and asked what he did about that. Howard said he had to walk with a towel over it.
Jeff said he remembers seeing that movie and enjoying it very much. Howard said he had a blast doing that movie. Jeff asked if he would do it again. Howard said he wanted to but he's not an actor by trade. He said he wanted to do a movie that wouldn't be lesser than that. He said he was offered some roles and he didn't want to take them. Jeff asked if he would shave his head for Martin Scorsese. Howard said he would do that. He said he'd have an erection too. He said he had so much fun doing that movie. He said working with Betty Thomas was great. Jeff said he almost worked with her. He said he pulled out of a project with her. He said he regrets that. Jeff said that the movie wasn't a hit.
Howard asked if he was considered for the movie ''Big.'' Jeff said that is true. He said that he thinks they wanted him for that because of Starman. He said he liked the script and met with Penny Marshall. He said that he thought the whole thing was great. Jeff said it's like when you go into a store and see a jacket you like. He said it just doesn't fit right. He said he tried to make it fit but it didn't feel right to him. He said he's not sure he would have been cast or not. He said he's not even sure how the order of things was. He said that Hanks did so great with it though. Jeff said he enjoyed that movie so much. Howard asked if he regrets that. Jeff said he didn't feel that. He said he thought it was cool it worked out the way it did because Hanks kicked ass.
Howard asked what Jeff's greatest sadness is. Jeff said that he's thinking about his parents dying but that's part of life. He said he's had struggles with marriage. Jeff said you get over challenges though. He said that it's strikes and gutters. He said that's life. Howard asked if he gets along with his brothers. Jeff said he does. He said it's not enough but they do.
Howard said he'd wonder what his brother is thinking when he gets a role and if he's jealous or not. Jeff said Beau is 8 years older than him. He said that he was his teacher. He said he was never jealous of him. He said he was always pulling for him. He said his brother pulled for him. He said he felt the same way about him. He said he's got Masters of Sex and all of these other great projects.
Howard asked Jeff would do a TV show now. Jeff said there are some great shows on TV now. He said the one that knocked him out was True Detective. He said they set the bar so high. He said his buddy did the music for the show and it was all just right. Howard said he always thought Matthew McConaughey was just a guy who ran around on the beach all today. He said he had no idea he was that good.
Howard asked if Jeff would do a TV show. Jeff said if the right thing came around he would. He said things have changed now and he thinks that his agents would want him to do something if it was right for him.
Robin asked Jeff about doing Heaven's Gate and what he thinks when it doesn't do so well. Jeff said just because it doesn't do well doesn't mean it was a bad movie. Howard said The Bib Lebowski wasn't a big movie in the theaters and now it's got a cult following.
Jeff said he did Thunderbolt and Lightfoot. He said Clint Eastwood was a producer on that one. Jeff said they only liked to do one or two takes. Jeff told Howard about people were giving Heaven's Gate bad reviews and then you see it and the crowd is just giving sporadic applause. He said that the next day they go to Toronto to see the movie up there. He said he was with the director of the movie and they stopped to read the reviews. He said they were horrible. He said the power of a review is tough. He said Mike Cimino tried so hard and the reviews just got to him.
Howard said that there are so many great films he'd like to talk about but he has to get to this new one. Howard asked how they got him for this new film. Jeff said he's been trying to get this movie made for the past 18 years. He said he wanted to direct his father in a movie and he wanted his kids to see it. He said he saw this book and it looked good. He said he was knocked out by the book when he read it. Howard said the movie is ''The Giver'' and it's about how there is no pain or fear or anything. Howard said no one knows how or why that is. Jeff said that the giver is the person who holds all of those memories. Jeff said that he plays that role. Jeff said he finds out that his daughters have read the book and it's taught all over the world. Jeff figured it would be a cinch to get made. He said then he found out it's also a banned book. He said someone felt threatened by it. Jeff said that kind of works into the theme of the movie though.
Jeff said he took the movie around and they ended up losing the rights, getting them back, going through writers and producers and all of that. He said that tonight is the premiers. He said they have a lot of big stars in it. He said they have Taylor Swift, Katie Holmes, Meryl Streep and others.
Howard asked Jeff about doing the movie with Bob Dylan and asked if he played with him. Jeff said he actually did. He said he got to sit down and jam with the guy. Jeff said that he was in another zone entirely. Jeff said they shot that whole movie in 2 weeks. He said Larry Charles wrote it with Dylan. He said that he jammed with Bob that day and he loved it. He said they would improv around the scene they did. He said he has always admired Dylan. Howard said they were hitting it off as actors and then Dylan asked him to play. Jeff said he loved his interpretation in Natural Born Killers. He said that he did ''You Belong to Me'' and it was so great. Jeff said Dylan came to his trailer and they both played. Howard said he would have shit his pants. Jeff said he may have. He said he thinks he had to check his pants.
Howard said he was never a big Dylan fan. He said he thinks that's because of their age difference. Jeff said he likes some other guys too. He named a few musicians and Howard didn't know who they were. Jeff told Howard about one guy who has the best name for his album. His name is Blake Mills and his album is ''Break Mirrors'' because that's what it sounds like when the Japanese say his name.
Howard asked about making King Kong and what that was like. Jeff said that was great. He said that Jessica Lange was really hot. He said that they have a scene where they have the King Kong hand and they made two right hands accidentally. He said the special effects guys were all Italian and they had a guy on each finger working the giant hand. Jeff said that the director got really upset with the guys because they weren't doing things the right way. He said they had to watch the director's hand and they almost crushed Jessica with the hand. Howard said he heard she was almost killed doing that.
Jeff said they were shooting a scene for King Kong at the World Trade Center. He said he had a little guy come up to him telling him this was his temple. He said it was Philippe Petit who walked across the towers. He said he learned to juggle from Philippe. He said that he can show Howard what he showed him.
Howard asked when this new movie opens. Jeff said it's on the 15th which is this Friday. Howard asked what it cost to make this movie. Jeff said that it's either really low or really hight. He said that he thinks it was 30 or 40 million. Howard said that's like mid-budget. Howard asked if they're tracking this movie. Jeff said they do. He said he saw it and he digs it and that's what matters. Howard asked if he gets the calls about the movie doing well or not on the weekend. Jeff said he'll get those calls. Howard asked what he does if it doesn't do well. Jeff said that just means people didn't get it like Robin didn't get Heaven's Gate.
Jeff told Howard that he really has to have Brenton Thwaites and Odeya Rush from the movie on. He said Odeya is only 16 but she's gorgeous.
Howard asked if Jeff would meet Richard Christy. Jeff told him to bring him in. Richard came in a short time later and said this is like a Christian meeting Jesus. He said that he's a Dudist Priest. Richard said he's seen The Big Lebowski hundreds of times and it's like a religion for him.
Richard told Jeff about the scene that makes him crack up every time. He said he loves when Jeff is hitting the top of the car when Credence Clearwater Revival is playing and he thinks that Jeff is so happy in that scene and it makes him happy.
Howard told Richard to get out of there after that. Howard asked Jeff if he's into weed and all of that. Jeff said he smokes once in a while. Howard asked what the hardest drug he ever tried was. Jeff said he did acid maybe half a dozen times. He said he's glad he did it but he won't do it again. He said he overdosed. Howard said he did too and it was scary.
Howard gave Jeff some plugs for the movie and also said he's in the No Kid Hungry campaign. Jeff told Howard about what that's about. He said they're doing everything they can to get kids to eat breakfast after the bell rings at school.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said that Jeff took some great pictures on the set of Iron Man. You can see them on his web site (JeffBridges.com). He asked Jeff if he had a good time shooting The Big Lebowski. Jeff said it was wonderful. He said he was working with so many great people on that film. He said he has a good time on all of the films he works on but that one was great.
Ralph asked if they improved on the film at all. Jeff said that they really didn't because it was so well written. He said that they'd improve to find the truth of the scene but then they'd stick to the script because it was so well written.
Howard was about to wrap up but Jeff said he wants people to check out The Abiders which is his band. He said it's a Lebowski reference. He said that you can check out that music and come see them play. Howard said they had a good time today. Howard said they may never see each other again. He said he wanted Jeff to know that Bob Dylan was in a trailer next to him once and he came over and knocked on his door to ask him to never play again.
Howard said you can find out more about No Kid Hungry at NoKidHungry.org. Jeff said you can also text ''food'' to 877877 donate. Howard wrapped up with Jeff and went to break a short time later.
Howard said they'll be back tomorrow to get to what he didn't get to today. Howard said most shows are on summer hiatus but they pop in once in a while. Howard said he's taking off Wednesdays because he's working late on Tuesdays on AGT. Howard said that they take the same amount of time off but most of it is in the summer.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who said that was a great interview with Jeff Bridges. Speech also asked if he can pick up on him in the first hour of the show because he has to go to work. Howard said he can't always do that but he'll try. Robin asked what he does for a living. Speech said he's a security guard. He said he has to get ready for work and by the time he gets there they're doing the news.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk and told him that he should take a lesson from Speech because he has a job. Jeff said he was calling to say that Jeff was good on the show. Robin asked if he was just ''good''. Jeff said he was great. He also wanted Howard to know he'll be at AGT tomorrow night. Howard said he doesn't want Jeff sitting next to him. He said he likes that he's coming but he doesn't want him next to him. Jeff said it was 3 years ago when he did that. Howard said he doesn't need him right there with him. Jeff said he apologizes for that. Howard said he can sit with Mariann. Jeff said that's where he'll be.
Howard let Jeff go and took another call from Hanzi. Hanzi said he apologizes for calling Robin a coon earlier. He said that Robin has played the role of the black woman on the show while Howard does racist shit. Robin said she's not playing a role. Howard asked if Hanzi is playing the role of a mental patient or is he a real one. Hanzi said he's playing a role.
Hanzi asked if he can come on the show as a birthday present. Howard thought about it and played some Psycho music with Hanzi's ''No, no, no'' clips in it. Howard asked what he would do in there. Howard said it's better when he calls in. Howard told Gary to think of something for Hanzi to do. Hanzi said he wrote Gary an email about something he wants to reveal. Howard said he can't talk to him about Israel anymore. Hanzi said if he doesn't want to hear it then don't bring up the topic.
Howard said he wants to know if it's alright for Hanzi to leave the house and come to the show. Howard said that the problem is that Hanzi thinks that he's telling his parents not to let him go. Hanzi said they're listening to Howard. Howard said he hasn't told them anything. Howard said he just wants him to clear it with his parents. Hanzi said that's not going to happen then. He said he's going to hold it off. Howard said it's alright with him but it's up to his parents. He said there is an issue there. Howard said he's not his parent. Robin said she wants someone to say it's okay to come. Hanzi said he wants to have sex with Robin. Robin said he certainly knows how to sweet talk her. Hanzi said he knows she was turned on by him.
Howard said he thinks that their birthdays are on the same day. Robin said that they are when Hanzi said his is August 8th. Howard said that shows that astrology means absolutely nothing. Howard said that he has to move along and let Hanzi go.
Howard said he really enjoyed watching a shark land on Benjy. He said that he has to thank the producers of that Sharknado movie for that. Howard said Benjy thinks he's a big star now. He said he came in wearing sunglasses and speaking in an English accent. He said he's a great actor and he's not talking about Benjy. He's talking about the shark. Howard said they say over 3 million people watched that movie. Benjy said it's going to be in movie theaters in a few weeks. Howard said that's so people can get together and goof on it.
Robin got to her news and read a story about Courtney Love talking about how she let about $27 million of Nirvana money go. Howard said that she could have built a homeless shelter or something with that money. Howard said it drives him nuts when someone says that kind of money means nothing.
Howard took a call from Balls who said that interview with Jeff was great. He said that he seems like he plays the same character in every movie though. Howard said he doesn't think that's the case. He said the guy is good in everything he does. Balls said he loves the guy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that not every American Jew feels the same way about Israel that Howard does. Howard said he knows that. He said he's going to tell him what that's about. The caller said he wanted to say something about it too. Howard said Israel is a small country that no one wanted. Howard said it was desert land that no one wanted. Howard said that we have a world where people remain silent about what Putin is doing in Ukraine. Howard said no one has an opinion about that. He said you go to Africa where children are being slaughtered. He said Israel is defending themselves from being bombed every day. Howard said if you had rockets coming into your land every day you would defend yourself. Howard said many American Jews are liberals and they're ashamed of being Jewish. The caller told him not to put him in there. Howard said he's not but he probably is in that group. Howard said the only place he's going to have in this world is Israel at some point.
The caller said that he wants to go through some history. He started to get into the history of Israel so Howard told him to get to the point. The caller said that Israel shouldn't have been created where it was. Howard said that's not good logic. The caller, Ken, said that Howard is wrong about his history. Howard said he's not wrong and he has to get back to the news. Ken said something about war crimes in an Apartheid country and Howard hung up on him. Howard said it's a losing battle. Howard said Ken was calling in from Seminole county in Florida. Howard said he should give his house back to an American Indian and then he'll believe what he's talking about. Howard went into a live commercial and then went to break.
After the break, around 10:00am, Howard said he can't keep debating all of this stuff that's going on. He said that we're back in Iraq. He said that a friend of his asked what's going on with Iraq. Howard said we could ignore it like we're ignoring Africa. Howard said that we ignore a lot of places. Howard said that Dick Cheney predicted we'd see a 50 year occupation of Iraq. Howard said he's right. He said we removed Saddam Hussein and there's no one there to keep them under control. Robin said that our intervention wasn't necessary and now we're seeing what the results are. Robin said she said there was no leaving Iraq when they were talking about that the first time President Obama was elected. Howard said we've created a mess over there.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about fitness bracelets and asked if Howard would wear one. Howard said he doesn't like it. He said it's no good. Robin said that Senator Schumer is saying that those companies could sell your information to other companies without your knowledge or consent. Howard said High Pitch took 31 steps last week. Robin said she's wearing one right now. Howard told her to take it off right now. He asked what she's doing with that thing. He said who knows what kind of radiation is coming off of that thing. Howard said he tries to limit that kind of stuff in his life. Howard asked if it makes her walk around. Robin said it does prompt her to move around during the day.
Robin read a story about Tony Stewart hitting and killing another driver during a race on Saturday night. Robin said they had one of these races and Tony Stewart made someone crash into a wall and the guy got out of his car and walked into traffic on the track. Robin said there were still cars speeding around. She said he was going to confront Tony over what he did to him. Robin said the tail end of Stewart's car kind of fishtailed and hit the guy and killed him. Howard said he asked Ronnie about that and he had no thoughts on it. Howard said Ronnie said he can't figure it out. Robin said they can't figure it out either. Howard said Ronnie is friends with Tony and he was getting tweeted by people going off on him for what his friend did. Ronnie said the guy tried to get in Tony's face. He said you can't comment on it unless you were there to see it. Howard said investigators are saying that there was no foul play in it. Robin said that's what they're saying now. That doesn't mean it will never be. Howard said it was night time and the guy was wearing black. Robin said this happens a lot apparently. Robin said people confront each other all the time. Ronnie said that Tony threw a helmet at another car last year. Howard wondered if the guy was dazed. Robin said he was pissed and yelling. The first driver almost hit him. Fred said it appeared that the car fishtailed and it looked like Tony was trying to avoid him. He said it was probably the other driver's fault for getting out of his car. Robin had some audio of an official talking about the incident.
Robin read a story about the Ebola outbreak and what's going on with that. Robin said some people think that if someone here catches it they shouldn't be allowed back in the country. Robin said that's what Donald Trump was going around saying last week. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about what's going on in Israel and how they have a cease fire going on right now.
Robin read about some people trapped on a mountain top in Iraq by ISIS insurgents. Robin said they've been doing food and water drops for the people who are trapped. Robin had some other stories and details about things that are going on over in Iraq with air strikes and things like that. Howard said he read that ISIS is using all of the weapons we left behind in Iraq. He said he thinks they should have called themselves the Legion of Doom instead of ISIS. He said ISIS seems like a name they'd use on Get Smart.
Robin read about James Brady dying last week. Robin had some audio of Joe Lockhart talking about Brady. Robin said Brady was shot in the assassination attempt on President Reagan's life. Howard said that's what pisses him off when he hears about them letting John Hinkley being let out on leave from prison. Howard said it's just not right.
Robin read a story about a cop shooting and how the officer shot the guy with his hands in the air. Robin said the cop has been on administrative leave since the shooting. Robin said people in the neighborhood are very upset over the shooting.
Robin read a story about how the new movie The Expendables 3 is being pirated and spread all over the internet. Robin said that the digital copy was stolen and put on the web before the movie came out. Robin said there is nothing about an investigation in the story. Howard said it's very hard to catch these people. Robin said she has a feeling it's promotion for the movie. Howard said he doesn't think so but she could be right.
Robin said it's Smokey the Bear's 70th birthday. Robin read about that and wrapped up her news. Howard ended the show around 10:25am.
Jon mentioned what went on with Benjy and how he says he'll be in Sharknado 3 but he has no deal to be in it. Benjy said he wasn't lying about it. He said they sort of have talked to him about it. Jon said they'll get into that later in the show but he did say ''yes'' when Howard asked if he'll be in the movie. Benjy said he's not saying he has a deal at all but he did say yes.
Jon went over a few more things and brought up the High Pitch Eric eating suggestion bits they played. Richard said they had a screen over the mic in their studio and they had to throw it away because Eric spits all over everything when he talks.
Jon said today was all about Jeff Bridges. He said Richard is a huge fan. He asked if it was his mission to meet him today. Richard said he wore a Lebowski bowling shirt today. He said the movie has become a religion to him. He said he saw something just last night in the movie that he hadn't seen before. Richard said he never noticed this thing that he saw. He said the movie has become a religion and he sees The Dude as someone he wants to be like. He said he just wants to have a good time and he doesn't get worked up about a lot of stuff.
Jon said that Richard had that look like someone has when they meet God. He asked if he felt that way. Richard said the best way he can describe it is when someone religious has a change in their life and that's kind of what it was like for him. He said he met this guy that kind of personifies everything he believes in. He said it sounds silly but if it has a positive effect on you then it's a cool thing. He said Jeff is The Dude and it's great because he's embraced it. He said meeting him is like meeting The Dude.
Jon asked if he met his expectations today. Richard said he really did. He said he got to meet him out in the hall after the interview and he had a nice talk with him. Jon asked if Jeff is really into that whole The Big Lebowski thing. Richard said he named his band using a term from the movie. He also plays a lot of the conventions for The Big Lebowski fans.
Benjy asked Richard if he can really use the Dudist thing in real life. He asked what he could do about Israel. Richard said that he's not sure how to solve those things but the Dudists just want peace.
Jon asked if Richard would say he was a Dudist. Richard said he used to call himself a Jedi but now he does call himself a Dudist. Jon said Richard has this bowling shirt and it's one of his favorites. He said that Richard has wardrobe ready to go when someone comes on the show that he likes. Richard said he has it all. Richard said he doesn't buy it just for the show. He said he's had that bowling shirt for 7 or 8 years. Jon said other people are fans and they don't get to go in and meet the people like Richard does. Jon said he's sure that other people wanted to meet Jeff. Richard said that's what's so great about this show. He said he has to thank Howard for that. He said he's gotten to meet these people and he's so lucky to get to thank them. Richard said all he can say is thank you to Howard.
Benjy asked who Richard would choose over Jeff Bridges and Mike Judge. Richard said that's a tough one. He said he can't pick just one. He said Metallica too.
Jon asked Ronnie if he was excited to see Jeff Bridges up there. Ronnie said sure. He said he likes a lot of his movies. He was very sedate today so Richard said they must have Ronald in there today.
Jon asked Ronnie what it's like when Richard knows someone he likes is coming up there. Ronnie said you just have to look at his clothes. He said that's just Richard. Richard said he has to show his appreciation. Richard said he behaves. Ronnie said he went in there crying this morning. He said he had tears in his eyes over it. Jon asked if Ronnie would cry if he met Cher. Ronnie said he wouldn't cry. He said he'd be happy. Ronnie said it's fine that Richard cries but that's not what he would do. Ronnie said he should just ask him normal questions instead of crying.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he works for a teacher's association in Toronto. He said that they had Jeff Bridges up there to help with the No Kid Hungry thing up there and he was great about it back then and he still donates to it. He said he's just a great guy. Richard said he really is. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked Richard to talk about The Big Lebowski and how they go out to see the film together. Ronnie said it doesn't matter what movie it is, he's always prepared. Richard said he's seen The Big Lebowski a lot on the big screen. He said one of his favorite times was when he went to a midnight screening and he wanted to make White Russians there. He said when they left the place it looked like a tornado hit their row. He said it was so much fun. He said that a lot of them go out to see the movie. He said if you ever get the chance to see it on the big screen you should.
Jon said Jeff's stories about the Iron Man shoot were interesting. He said it sounded like they were making up a lot of it as they were going along. Jon said that it turned out to be a classic film. Richard said he saw that movie Chef too and that's a fun movie too.
Jon said Robin mentioned a few times that she's a big fan of Jeff's. Richard said she was giving him a hard time about Heaven's Gate though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about how great the Jeff Bridges interview was. He said that he seemed very down to earth. He said you can tell that he's just like the character he plays in The Big Lebowski.
Jon said that Jeff and Howard were talking about how they seem to get along with other people in show business. Richard said he gets that. He said he relates to other beer drinkers.
Ronnie told Jon about this beer that Richard drinks and some of it is really strong stuff. He said some of it is 18 percent alcohol. Richard said he and Ronnie bond over alcohol too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about Jeff Bridges. He said he's shocked they didn't talk about the Tron movies. Jon said he thinks that Jeff has done so many films that they can't cover everything. He said maybe next time they'll cover it. Richard said he had a lot of questions about Starman so he'd love to have talked more about that.
Jon said that Ronnie was talking about how many people were contacting him over the Tony Stewart thing. Ronnie said he did have a lot of people commenting about what went on but you can't comment unless you were there to see it. He said he didn't deliberately crash into the guy from what he could tell. He said that it's hard to say what happened. He said Tony crew up dirt racing and saying that he intentionally did this isn't right. Ronnie said he saw what he saw on tape and he can't even say what happened from that. He said he's not saying yes or not but he feels bad for Tony and for the family of the kid. He said Tony has to live with that the rest of his life.
Benjy asked if anyone ever gets in trouble for trying to hurt another driver. Ronnie said they don't do it to hurt other drivers. He said they may run them into a wall or tap their car during a race but they're not trying to hurt anyone. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked Richard about the beer fest he went to. He said hygiene wise it must be off when he goes there. Richard said it was just one day. He said they drove up in the morning and then stayed one night. He said the next morning he was able to brush his teeth. He said now that he's used to brushing his teeth he has a weird taste in his mouth. He said he never noticed it before he started brushing regularly. He said if he was staying longer he would have prepared for that.
Jon said he doesn't think Howard is going camping anytime soon. Richard said he wasn't even into the glamping thing. He said he loves nature and being out there. He said it was magical being out in the bright moonlight. He said it was great.
Jon asked Ronnie if he would go. Ronnie said he's not crazy about camping. He said it can be fun if you go with people and have the right equipment. He said he went hunting once in the Adirondacks and it was cool because they rented an empty van. He said you can sleep in there instead of on the ground. Richard said the fun is going on to the grounds and spending time with other people. Ronnie said they had one of those dome heaters for a tent but they used it in the van. He said the heater had a leak in it and it was leaking carbon monoxide so they all ended up in the hospital. He said they all got sick as dogs and one of the guys woke up vomiting. He said luckily he did that or they all would have been dead. Ronnie said it was crazy. He said they probably would have been dead if that guy didn't wake up.
Benjy said he thought it would be fun to go off on a hike somewhere. Richard said he went for a run in Arkansas once and he got really scared. He said he was in the mountains and he kept going in circles. He said his dad and wife were waiting on him and they were terrified. He said the run was supposed to be 45 minutes and it turned into 3 hours.
Benjy said he would love to go on a trail from Pittsburgh to Washington DC. He said that's what he'd love to do with everyone.
Jon asked who of the staff would be the worst camper. Richard said Howard probably. Ronnie said it would be Sal. He said he'd be without his hair products and all of that. Jon said he thinks Fred would be fine. Robin too. Jon asked how Scott would do. Ronnie said that's hard to say. He said that's as far as he'll go. Jon said Jason might have a hard time getting around. He said they'll have to set that up.
Jon mentioned that Jon Leiberman was in there. He asked how he's doing. Leiberman said he's doing fine. Jon had him give his Howard 100 News headlines. Leiberman ran down a couple of stories that they have coming up today. They wrapped up the show after that. They were done around 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about how his glasses were dirty but he was too lazy to clean them. He said he has a long day today. He has to do America's Got Talent today. He said they have a good lineup today. He said they don't start until 9 tonight though. He said he has meetings there after the show. He said he gets depressed thinking about all of that. He said he has to groom to get ready for AGT. He said he has to shave and things like that. Howard said he has a lot to do.
Robin said Howard was getting ready for AGT last time they were there. She asked what happened with the executives from Sirius. Howard said he went over to a management meeting with the 50 top execs. He said that he was speaking about the future of radio. He said that he had a lot of thoughts about that. He said they were angry but he tempered it. He said that he can see a vision of the future but he can't see how to get them there. Howard said they have to turn everything over to him but then his agent told him he's not being paid to do that. Howard said he gave him the vision. He said he had a good time with that. Howard said he was freaked out by how long the day was going to be that day.
Robin said Howard could never be President. Howard said that's the problem. He said our presidents are too old. He said by the time you get ready for that position they're exhausted. He said they just want to play golf. Howard said the only guy not like that was Bill Clinton. Howard said he'd wake up in the morning and maybe jog but then he'd live for the office of President of the United States. Robin said he was able to multitask. She said he was getting a blow job and still running the country. Howard said every CEO has flaws. He said Clinton was too but so what.
Howard said it's not cool that he was getting a blow job from an intern. He said that you question their judgment over that. Howard said Anthony Weiner was like that too. He said that Governor Spitzer too. Howard said he likes Governor Cuomo. He said he's into the job. Howard said they should make him President now. He said by the time he's 70 he'll be acceptable to some party. He'll be worn out by then though. Howard said he's going to want to go play golf at Camp David. Howard said Obama has been around and he's burnt out. Howard said once they get there they're just not that into it.
Robin said it is a hell of a job. Howard said you have to have a certain kind of zen to do that job. Howard said if this country had any balls they'd get Bill Clinton back in there to do this stuff. Robin said he has some health issues. Howard said cleaning up Bush's mess would kill anyone.
Howard said he has regrets in his life. He said when he was a young man he would do whatever it took to be successful. He said he had moments when he thought he was brilliant and some where he was an absolute asshole. He said when it comes to Robin Williams he had Robin on the show. Howard said he was at a point in his life when all he could see was himself. Howard said he was a huge fan of Robin Williams. He said the guy is a genius. Howard said the guy was really talented and made so many great movies. He said he was one of those weird forces of nature that came into the industry. Howard said he remembers watching Mork & Mindy. He said that was great and then he transitioned into the world of movies. Howard said there were a million movies you can name. Howard said they're all listed in the paper today. Howard ran through some of them with Robin.
Howard said Robin would talk about his coke addiction and he never believed a guy like that could have a problem. Howard said he was able to work and he didn't seem like a guy with problems.
Howard said one of his regrets he had was when Robin came to K-Rock he felt a lot of pressure when a guest came in. He said he could never give the microphone over to a guest completely. He said even if he had a sense of awe about a guest it never came through. He said he felt like a guest was a prop in the studio. He said he didn't look at it the right way. He said he was an asshole to guests. He said he wasn't trying to be rude to Robin Williams but he got fed up with what he was asking. Howard said he read about a month later that he had a horrible interview with Howard Stern. Howard said he called his wife ''the babysitter'' and it ticked the guy off. Howard said his whole demeanor was shitty toward Robin. He said he always loved the guy and he was sorry he upset him. He said he kind of let it go and forgot about it. Howard said if you heard the interview it wasn't terrible. He said you didn't learn anything about the guy in the interview though. He said he should have been celebrated.
Howard said he thinks about a year ago or maybe 2 or 3, he had a feeling that he wanted to contact Robin. He said he was thinking of having Robin play Sam Kinison in a movie about Sam he was going to produce. Howard said he could twist himself into any character. Howard said he was going to contact him but then he didn't do it. Then he decided to write him a note. Howard said he wrote a letter about the mistakes he made in his career. He said one of them was interviewing him in a way that didn't come off very well. Howard said he was going to ask him to come in and try to make up for it. Howard said he wanted to make a statement of some sort. He said he wanted a do over for that interview.
Howard said yesterday around 1 in the afternoon he was sitting at his desk writing some emails. He said he had an overwhelming thought about Robin. He said he was going to pick up the phone and call Robin Williams. He said he was going to apologize to him and ask him to come on the show. Howard said the feeling became so strong that he started to fantasize about what the interview would be like.
Howard said as he was going through that his wife came in and told him that Robin Williams was dead. Howard said he told her that had to be wrong. Then they read that it might be suicide. He said that was the weirdest thing. Howard said he was in the middle of trying to contact the guy. Howard said it was such a sad moment for him. He said if you have regrets about something, don't wait. Howard said you never know.
Howard said he's really sad about the news. He said he's sure his kids are freaked out. He said he can't imagine what they're going through. Robin said someone wrote her a note saying they can't believe he's dead. She said it was more shocking that it was suicide. Robin said he had heart problems before so she thought it might be that. She said it was shocking and saddening that it was suicide. Howard said he's so talented and successful and you don't want to believe it.
Howard said Robin took a TV show about a year ago called The Crazy Ones. He said Robin was talking about how he had to do that to make money. He said that he was talking about how divorce is expensive. Howard said you think the guy is rolling in dough but maybe not. Howard said he said he needed the paycheck. Howard said maybe it was the drug use that squandered the money. Howard said he was divorced and he had kids so it was expensive. Howard said there you go.
Howard said he was just 63. Howard said he's not that old to them. Robin said to a young person it's ancient. Howard said it's funny to hear the number 60. He said when he was young he was interviewing a porn star or something and this woman was talking about how she had to do old man porn with a guy who was 50 or 60. Howard said he thought about how gross that was and now he thinks 60 isn't that old.
Robin said she remembers thinking about how far off the year 2000 was when she was a young person. Robin said you don't even think that can happen to you.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said that all people talk about when someone dies is the movies they were in. King said that they don't really care about the person. Howard said that's how they knew the guy. They don't know him personally. King said it was a very selfish thing and he didn't give a shit about his kids. Howard said King doesn't know what his situation was. He suffered from depression. Robin said he doesn't know. She said he was Robin Williams and he still felt he had to kill himself. Robin said the guy had everything and that's how strong that illness is.
Howard said King is doing street sweeper logic. Howard said he has to go. He said that's a lack of sophistication with him. Howard let him go after that. Howard said King is addicted to his father's money. It's the same thing.
Howard asked Eric if he was bothered by the TNA franchise being canceled because Eric was part of it. Howard said he's kind of the kiss of death. Eric asked how many times he has to repeat himself. He said he doesn't have one fucking thing to do with any of those shows being canceled. Howard said he was on TNA. Eric said that shows get canceled because of lack of good writing and lack of good acting. Howard said it's kind of unlucky to have him on. He said every show he's on gets canceled. Howard said it's kind of a coincidence. Eric said he wasn't on the show that Robin Williams was on that got canceled.
Eric said he has nothing to do with it. Howard said he knows that but does it bother him that people say that about him. Eric said ''fuck yes!'' Howard said that he has a song called Eric the TV Show Killer. He played that and said that's a funny song. Sal did the song and Eric said all he has to say is ''Sal, grow up.''
Howard had Gonzo Shitcock on the phone. Howard asked what's up with him. Gonzo said he's not getting along with him. Eric said he hates him. Gonzo said Eric has been a real asshole to him lately. He said that he finds it interesting that TNA was canceled. Eric said he sees that Gonzo is making shit up about him. He said that Gonzo claims that he causes Ebola. He said he's never even been to Africa. Gonzo said he brought it back to the states when he went to Africa. Eric said he has never been there. He said he has only been to Canada.
Gonzo said Eric also started some wildfires. He said he was pretty sure it was him. Eric told Howard not to even listen to that bullshit. Gonzo asked why the AP would pick that up and repeat it. Gonzo said he thought he saw that in his tweets. Howard asked if Eric hates trees because they're tall and he's short. Eric said Gonzo is the biggest piece of shit on the planet.
Gonzo asked how he killed off TNA wrestling. Howard said he didn't cancel it but every show he's been on runs into trouble. Gonzo said he just doesn't want him to go on The Walking Dead. Eric said he won't do that show anyway.
Howard asked how Brickleberry is doing. Gonzo said it should be done in a month. Eric said it doesn't start airing until September. Howard said he hopes the show stays on the air because it's Yucko's show. Howard said they'll all be watching it.
Gary came in and said that director Paul Feig was on at Comic-Con and he said he would never hire Eric. He said there's a superstitious part of him that worries that he'd kill his show by hiring him. Gary said it's been like 11 shows. Eric said he hasn't gotten 11 shows canceled. He said it's only been 5. Howard said Eric got Gary there.
Gonzo said his name should be Eric the Show Killer. Eric said that In Plain Sight was canceled before he was on the show. He said they were doing their last season before they hired him. Gonzo told Yucko to be careful with him. He said that he's like a serial killer of shows.
Howard asked Eric when he got any women. Eric said it was 2009. Howard said he thought he said ''just the other night.'' Howard said that it's depressing to hear that. Howard said he had to do some math to figure that out. Eric blurted out ''5 years!'' Gonzo said math just died because he did it.
Eric said that he has health issues so he can't go to high elevations. Howard said he'd say fuck that and just do it.
Gonzo said he knows girls that he could get for Eric. He said they live in the same town and he could hook him up. Howard said that would be nice. Gonzo said that if he apologized to him he could set him up. Gonzo said he has some girls who would give him a hand job. Howard asked if they live in high elevations. Gonzo said they're at the same elevation. Howard said he'd like to interview a girl who would have sex with Eric for free. Howard asked if they're hot. Gonzo said for Eric they would be. He said he knows one of them who is pretty hot. He said he used to bang her himself. Howard asked if they would jerk Eric off with their boobs. Gonzo said they would jerk him off and maybe titty fuck him. Howard asked if they put lotion on their hands. Gonzo said he thinks they would.
Howard asked Eric what he thinks about that. Eric said he's not sure that he'd want to work with Gonzo because of the way he's treated him. Howard said if they work things out then let him know. Gonzo told him to email him and they'll work something out. Eric said that's not going to happen. Gonzo asked if he'd take a hand job from him if he put on a wig. Eric said nope.
Howard asked if he has anything to say about Brickleberry. Eric said his episode should be on in January. He said that he was only in the studio for about an hour. He said he had about 10 to 12 lines. Howard asked if he can give them one. Eric said not really. Howard asked if he has a statement about Robin Williams. Eric said he enjoyed his movies. He said one of his favorites was Patch Adams. Gonzo said he thinks Brickleberry will be joining Robin Williams shortly. Howard said poor Brickleberry. He said he hopes it remains on the air. Eric also said he liked Night at the Museum. He said the third one is coming out later this year. Robin said he has very childish taste in movies.
Howard said he has to let the guys go. Gonzo said he hopes Eric lives until 100. Howard said Eric sounds kind of like Popeye in the Robin Williams version. Robin said that one was left off almost every list of his movies. Howard asked Eric if he wanted to give a final Nanu-nanu for Robin Williams. Eric did that and said it's Johnny's birthday today. Howard said he didn't hear that. Eric said it again.
Eric said that he was on Fringe and it didn't get killed right away. Gonzo said it was just a slow death. Gonzo gave Eric some final comments and called him a show killer. Eric said he's a dipshit. Gonzo said he's not very quick today. Gonzo said he takes a long time to get to his thoughts. Eric said he is above 90 with his IQ. Gonzo said he was tested by a real facility and they found he's a 90. Howard said the woman did say that his handicaps could affect his testing. Howard said he really has to go. He played Gonzo out with his own theme song. Howard said that he didn't know altitude was holding Eric back from having sex.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who thanked him for picking up on him in the first hour of the show. He asked Howard a question that Howard didn't want to answer so he just let Speech go. He said he should have just gone to break.
Howard said they have Adriana Chechik coming in shortly. He said she's a porn start who had like 3 cocks in her at once. Howard said poor Benjy had just one finger up his ass and he had to go to the doctor. Benjy said he's still going. He said he's been using the Squatty Potty lately and it really works. Howard said he loves it too. He said he almost forgot to use Squatty Potty. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard read some of the facts that this guy has put out. Howard had a few things that were pretty interesting. There were many facts about things that he has asked them to do and things that Eric has admitted to. Howard said that is history that he's interested in. They kept playing Eric's ''Nanu-nanu'' audio drop.
Howard said a lot of people were tweeting about Robin Williams today. Howard said President Obama even made a statement. Howard said he didn't have it. Robin said she does. Howard said that's alright, he's sure it's nice.
Howard said the state department issued a comment about Robin Williams. Howard said it was the Secretary of Defense who released it. Howard said that Robin must have spent a lot of time entertaining the troops. Howard read that statement and said he was also in Good Morning Vietnam so maybe that had something to do with it. Howard said he'd entertain the troops but he's afraid to go anywhere.
Howard took a call from a guy who thanked him for hanging up on King of All Blacks because the guy doesn't make sense at all. He said that they say there are 27 genes that point to addiction and Robin Williams may not have had a choice. Howard said sometimes King is on and sometimes he's off.
Howard said he thought that Skylar was a girl's name. That guy's name was Skylar. Howard said if he was a stripper he'd call himself Skylar.
Howard said he read that David Arquette might be buying a strip club. Howard said he was going to recommend that he not do it. He said that it seems like a better idea to just open a room somewhere and have naked girls in it. Howard said he wouldn't want to own a strip club. He said there's a lot of emotional baggage that comes with that. Howard said he's not sure that would be a good line of work. Howard said that the strippers may not be that reliable. He said you have to encourage them to be friendly to gross guys. Howard said it's a whole science to pimping those girls. Robin said she's sure it's hard. Robin said maybe Ronnie can help him out. She said that his new TV show would work for that.
Howard said Adriana Chechik is there. He said he was going to play a bunch of Wendy the Retard messages that she left last night. Howard said she may have been drunk. He said he won't play them all but he will play some. He said he thinks she was imitating a cat in this first one. Howard played that and Wendy was making weird noises and laughing. Howard said that one went on forever. He said she called back as a parrot next. Howard played some of that. Then she did her Obama impression and called him a retard. Robin said she sounds like Gary the Retard at this point. Howard wondered if they can get her work on Brickleberry. Howard said they should produce a cartoon with Wendy, Gary and Eric in it. Howard said he'd watch that.
Howard said Wendy started making weird noises and cursing. Howard played that clip next. Howard said he hates to see her destroy her instrument like that. Howard said she also professed her love for him. Wendy was just making strange noises and kind of talking like Howard would by saying that he loves Robin and things like that. Howard said by the way, she babysits. Howard said he'd rather talk to her than talk to Benjy. He said he can't get a straight answer out of Benjy about Sharknado.
Howard said he's going to guess she was drinking but he's not sure. Robin said it might be all natural. Robin asked what they're calling Gary now. Howard said it's Gary the Conqueror. Robin asked what Wendy is. Howard said she's Wendy the Slow Adult. Robin said they have to get those cemented in their brains. Howard said he has to get that cartoon together. Robin said they have unlimited talent there.
Howard said this Adriana Chechik is coming in next. He said she had 3 penises in her ass at once. Howard said he could never do that. Howard played some clips of her asking for an assgasm in one of her movies. They went to break after that.
Howard asked how hard it was the first time on stage. Adriana said it was hard. She said she was really nervous. Howard said guys don't even care. Howard asked what she was nervous about. She said it was taking her clothes off in an audition. She said the guys were looking at her with those dirty, pervy looks. She said that she's grown to love those looks now. Howard said that they're there to evaluate her. Howard asked what song was playing. She said she can't remember that.
Howard said they have to do all of these stunts and stuff on stage at strip clubs. Howard said he never cared about that stuff. He said management must care. Adriana said that Miami is in a league of its own. She said girls have flames coming out of their shoes. She said that she doesn't get that. Howard said they really don't need that. Howard said guys just want to look at a naked woman. Howard said that's all they care about.
Adriana said she was stripping at a club near South Beach. She said it opened up a whole world of possibilities for her.
Adriana said that she had really red hair and everyone wanted her to stay in her clothes. She said that she never had to give any hand jobs back then. She said after porn she did dirty stuff. She said she once squirted on a guy at a club though. She said she was really drunk that time. She said it was her sixth night working and she told the guy she was going to cum on him. She said that he hit the right spit with his thumb and she orgasmed. She said it was a huge mess and the guy loved it. She said that he thought it was great.
Howard said most guys assume that girls can't have an orgasm in a club. Adriana said that you might as well have fun if you're there. Howard said she can make decent money doing it too.
Howard said he heard that some girls can make close to a million bucks in a year. She said that's about right. She said she has made $7,200 in one night. Adriana said that one guy was on Molly and he was giving her money and they were in the room for like 7 hours. Howard said it must be hard to go back to a regular life after making that kind of money.
Howard asked if she could ever go back to a regular life. Adriana said she thinks she can make just as good money in Biochemistry. She said that she can't strip forever. She said that she can't show her saggy pussy forever. Howard said she'd be surprised.
Howard said that Sal was telling him that he's into trailer trash porn now. Howard asked if Adriana knows about that. She said she's never heard of that. Gary said it's trailer park couples who get drunk and does wife swapping. Howard said he wouldn't be interested in that. Howard said he likes baby sitter porn and doctor and patient porn.
Sal came in and said they are banging in campers. He said it's so sleazy and disgusting. He told Howard about how the girls are missing teeth and stuff like that.
Howard said being in porn now seems much harder than it used to be. Howard said he used to have Jenna Jameson on the show and she'd just be having sex. Howard said now you have to do crazy stuff like triple anal. Howard said he saw it last night and he was freaked out by it. Howard asked if she had any problems after that scene. Adriana said she didn't.
Howard asked how old she was when she had anal for the first time. She said that she was 18. She said she told the guy that she was an anal whore and she wanted to have it. Adriana said she had told him that she had plenty of guys fuck her up the ass. She said she had never done it before. Adriana said the guy tied her up with hemp rope and she saw him reach over for the Vaseline tub. Adriana said she had the best orgasm she ever had with that. Howard asked if it disturbed her that she was tied up. She said it didn't. She said now she's gone crazy. Howard said she has done triple anal. Howard said she cried after because it was so pleasurable. She claims she had 11 orgasms. She said she has to have 5 in a session or she has to masturbate.
Howard asked where she got her name from. Adriana said that she likes a director by the name of Chechik and she thinks she looks like his wife. She said that she's also from the world of adoption.
Howard said her mother gave her away from birth. She was in the foster system from then on. She said she was never adopted. She lived with 13 foster families. Howard asked if that's why she got her GED. She said that's why. Howard said she grew up in Pennsylvania and she would be punished by sending her to spend time with the Amish. Adriana said the first time she saw a sexual act was with an Amish family.
Howard asked why they would send her off to the Amish. Adriana said that they take in kids for single mothers. She said you can send them off for the whole weekend from Friday morning until Sunday afternoon. Howard said it had to be devastating for her. She said she actually liked living with the Amish. She said she helped out with the chores. She said she enjoyed shucking corn.
Howard asked Adriana about the foster families and if it was like 1 every 2 years. She said it was like that. She said she loves herself now and she's cool with everything. She said she feels she's better off alone.
Adriana said she used to have to baby sit 11 kids at once when she was just 13 years old. She said that's what the foster home life was like.
Adriana told Howard that her aunt once came to visit her when she was working at Applebees. She said that she told her that her father loves her. She said she spit in her fries and gave it to her. Adriana said she really didn't have a reaction to it. She said that she knows her father owns a pest control company in Downington, Pennsylvania.
Gary said that the aunt also hit her up for some money. Howard said she's working at Applebees. How much money could she have had?
Howard asked if she's close with any of her foster families. She said she's close with one. She said she actually had sex with him recently. Howard asked how old she was when she was with that family. She said she was 6 and he was the father. Howard asked how long she was with them. She said she was back and forth with them from 6 to 9. Adriana said that she met him again about 9 and a half months ago. He's divorced now. Howard said she's very attractive now but how does it lead to sex. She said he hit her up on Facebook. Howard said that's always the perverted connection. Adriana said that he was coming to L.A. to do some work and they went to dinner. She said this is a man who she would cuddle with and tell everything to. She said they were at dinner and he touched her hair like he did when she was little. She said he would put her hair up before school. She said he was the only one who could do it. Adriana said he dropped her off at her apartment and she invited him up to see it. She said he's actually really hot and 43 years old. She said she was sitting on the couch talking to him and at this point in her life she has the fucking mentality so she figured she had to do it. She said he had his hand on her lap already. Howard asked what she was wearing. She said she was wearing something like what she has on now.
Adriana said that he fucked her in her ass. Howard asked if he knew she was into that. She said she doesn't think he knew. Adriana said she had to beg her agent to do anal. She said she's with this agency because he does it all. She said he helps with everything.
Adriana said that she was discovered in the strip club by a guy who finds girls like her. She said that she was living in a house with like 6 other people. Howard asked how long it takes her to think it through to get into porn. She said she acts on impulse. She said she remembers thinking about it and how she would have to have her kids know about it some day. She doesn't have kids though. She said she doesn't think she'd want her kids taking as many cocks as she's taking. She said that if you want a kid you should adopt them. She said she actually hates kids so she's not going to have any.
Howard asked if she had to go audition in an agent's office. She said she didn't. She said that she had to go to an apartment for a test. She said the guy was very proper though. She said the girls were all very young. She said they took pictures that they weren't going to post. She said they were very professional about it.
Howard asked how soon after that did they send her to a porn set. She said that she got tested the next day and then the day after that she shot for 14 days straight. Howard asked if she did anal then. She said it wasn't then. Adriana said that she was trying to pace it out at first. She said you really don't have to do that. She said she did boy girl-girl the first time. That was her first time having sex with someone other than the first guy she had. She said it was the first time with someone else. Adriana said the camera man was asking if she was okay because she was shaking. She said that it was so bad that she was sweating and shaking.
Howard said he remembers shaking uncontrollably the first time he had sex. He said he'd imagine she's very nervous. Howard said he'd imagine they dug the shaking. Adriana said that the lure to teen porn is the nervousness so that might be the attraction. She said she really didn't know what she was doing.
Howard asked what she wore. She said she had a very short slutty dress and some hoop earrings. She said it's called Cum Fiesta. She said she shows up and goes right to sex at this party. Howard said that's not much of a story. Adriana said she's not comfortable with her acting so she's okay with that.
Howard asked if she had to lube up the first time she did porn. She said she licks her hand and wets it. She said that it's something that they do in the porn world. She said she does that even if her pussy is wet. Adriana said it was her first woman that first time. She said that she had an orgasm from that. She said as soon as they did penetration she was fine.
Howard asked if her boobs are real. She said they are. Howard asked if they've asked her to do any plastic surgery. She said she hasn't. She said that she thinks that they like all natural now. She said that they have told her not to get her boobs done.
Howard said it seems like everyone is getting porn for free. He said they still produce a lot. Adriana said that the money in porn is coming from the big companies. She said she has been blessed and she enjoys her job. She said she's making a living but she can understand why other girls can't.
Howard asked if she really got Gonorrhea 8 times. She said that's true. She said she's not a dirty girl but she doesn't think she was cleaning her toys properly. She said that she probably reinfected herself. She said that she does multiple scenes and she likes to be fucked by multiple people. She said that she did one where she did 17 guys in one day. She said she has a lot of body fluids around her. She said that she's better in 3 days after getting her shot. Howard asked if she could do more than 3 penises in her ass. She said she thinks that's about it.
Howard asked if she would go back to stripping. She said she thinks she's done with that. She said she likes featuring once in a while. She said that she doesn't like being around the drugs and alcohol either. She said she doesn't drink and she only smokes a little pot. She said she used to snort lines of coke and do Molly. She said that she doesn't do that anymore. Adriana said you can't be on drugs to be the best. She said you want to be sober taking 3 cocks in your ass. He said if you're on drugs you don't know what's going on down there.
Howard asked if she wants to win an AVN award or what to be the best. She said she just wants to give everyone pleasure. She said she wants everyone to love her. Howard said he knows a lot of guys who do.
Howard asked who she thinks is the best porn star. She said it's not a woman. She said it's Rocco Siffredi and he work for himself. Adriana said that if she had known what she knows now she would have done things a little differently. Howard asked how much she can make a year. She said you can make over $140,000.
Howard asked if she has a web site. She said she has a web site but it's not launched yet. Sal came in and told Howard about what this guy Rocco does. He told him about Rocco banging a chick with her head in a toilet. He said she's gasping for air the whole time. Howard said this is what she likes. Adriana said she does. She said he dunked her in a pool when she did him.
Howard asked if she had a safe word when she was doing that. She said that there was none. She said they can't do more than 30 seconds of that kind of stuff though so that shouldn't be an issue.
Howard asked if she really posts ads on Craigslist to have guys come fuck her. She said that is true. She said she likes the alluring and mysterious things. She said that you don't know what's going to show up. She said she has a man friend with her at those times. She said she has a fuck buddy and he fucks her very good. She said he sets up the fuck sessions.
Howard said he'd be freaked out with a guy watching him. Adriana said that one guy came and he was shaking the whole time. Howard asked if they eat the cum out of her ass after that. She said that's called snow balling. She said that's fun. She said it's fun because you can push people to do anything in the heat of the moment. She said that it's actually her fuck buddy's cum that the guys are eating out of her ass. Howard almost threw up. Adriana said that the guy gets to fuck her or maybe not even fuck her. Gary said that the guy has to pay to do that too. Howard asked if the guys ever come up and say no. Adriana said that you put the ad up saying what it is so they know.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who asked if it was 3 penises at once. She said that she's not sure how that would work. Howard said it is at once. Howard said you have to see it. Howard said you can check her out at AdrianaChechik.com. He gave her some plugs for her movies and Adriana told Howard that she has eaten cum out of her own ass too.
Howard said that Benjy got a finger up his ass and had to go to the hospital for that. Mariann said that they should do a porn AGT. Howard hung up on her asking why he was listening to that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Adriana lives right down the street from him. He said she's amazing. He said they'll be at a club and she'll be off in a corner doing stuff with guys. He said she comes over and uses him for his internet connection and stuff. Howard asked if he has had sex with her. He said he hasn't but he does lick her asshole. She said she squirts all over his bed too. Howard asked why she won't let him fuck her. She said she doesn't want to let him fuck her. Howard asked if she is into this dominatrix stuff. She said she is. Howard asked the guy if he's upset with her over that. The guy, Conner, said he's not. He said that he loves hanging out with her. He said he's never bored with her.
Howard asked if he has eaten cum out of her ass. He said he hasn't. He said he just licks her ass. He said once she had him do that after she had just done an anal scene. Howard said ass has doody down there. Conner said she doesn't. He said he's hung out with her for 3 days and she never shit. She said she rarely does.
Adriana told Howard that she went to a club and got naked. She said she was taking pictures and stuff and had a guy right near her pussy. Howard asked if she's shaved down there. She said she has some fuzz down there. She said that she doesn't like to look like a little girl.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if she likes to be spanked. Adriana said she was spanked by her foster families. She said that she likes to be spanked. Howard asked if she was bad as a child. She said she stood up for herself so she got spanked. Howard asked why she won't have sex with black guys. Adriana said she grew up in Philly so it should be the other way around. She said that they would criticize her for that if she did it. She said that her price wouldn't go lower but people just look at you differently. Adriana said the way they portray you when you do that isn't something she wants to do. She said that they make it all about her being the dirty, white slut. She said she will allow herself to be degraded to a point but not that point.
Adriana said the father figure that she fucked was racist and so where many of the other foster family people. She said those values have kind of rubbed off on her. She said she's not sure if they'll go away though. She said that only time will tell.
Howard asked if she would fuck a Mexican. She said she has. Howard asked if she would fuck the president. She said she wouldn't. Howard asked if she would fuck Prince. Adriana said she probably would do him.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was wondering if she's available for lunch today. Adriana asked how many fingers he'll let her put in his asshole. The guy said up to 4. Howard said he has to go home and rethink his life. Adriana said she likes to do the finger thing. She said she's not into sticking anything else in there.
Howard asked if Adriana tries not to know the news or does she like to know. She said she has to be smart and know her surroundings. Howard asked if she knew Robin Williams died. She said she did. She said she grew up with him and he was an icon.
Howard said he has learned a lot. Adriana said that he can go home and fuck his wife in the ass now. Howard said he doesn't think she's into that. Adriana said that she'll do it for him then.
Howard took a call from Jim in Raleigh who asked if he'd let his wife fuck another woman. Howard said no way.
Howard asked what sploshing is. She said that's using vegetables to have sex. Howard said Robin used to do that. Robin told Howard to stop telling her story. Howard said she also liked anal and did it very early on. Howard said she took it from a stranger in a bathroom in San Francisco. Howard said Robin is the one who invented Sploshing. Adriana said that she likes to have sex with Mac and Cheese and things like that in her pussy so the guy can fuck it out of her.
Howard asked if it's true she had a gummy bear stuck in her for a month. She said it wasn't a month. Adriana said she did a scene where she had sex with gummy bears in her pussy. She said she thought they got them all out but a few days later she went to take a shit and this blob of a gummy bear fell out.
Howard asked if it's true that she wanted to fuck JD. She said she did want to bring an anal toy in for him today. She said she didn't know that JD had a girlfriend. Howard had JD come in. Howard said that he'd love to fuck her, right? JD said she's very attractive. Howard said she loves Mac and Cheese so he'd be into her. JD told her that she can look at him all she wants. He said he's with his girlfriend and nothing is going to happen. Adriana said that she's going to be right outside his shower watching while she's fingering her asshole.
Howard took a call from a guy who said her feet are sexy as hell. Howard asked if she's into foot fetish stuff. She said she has done that kind of stuff.
Howard gave her some more plugs and wrapped up the interview. He mentioned she was going to be at a strip club doing a show. She said she does them totally nude. He said her movies are Internal Damnation and Four Hard Acts. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he just painted a picture of Tom Petty. He said that he got into painting and he was doing still life paintings. He said in Billboard magazine they had a picture of Tom Petty in it. Howard said he took a full day to draw the portrait. He said then he painted it and it came to life. He said for a beginner it's not that great but for him he thought it was good. He said he has a photograph of it on his iPhone. Howard told Robin to come take a look. Howard said he took pictures of it in stages.
Howard had Robin come look at the photos. Robin checked them out as he was describing them. Robin said it gets better and better and more refined. Robin said that was very nice. She said she needs an original Stern. Robin said he did the hands very well. Howard said he thinks they're okay for a beginner.
Howard said Tom will never see it. Howard said he won't come in there so he won't see it. Howard said the face came out good. Howard said he's still learning. He said it's very complicated. Howard said he thinks about how he wants to be the best at things and he's just not. Robin said he talks himself out of this stuff being so negative.
Howard said he was painting an outdoor scene the other day and he wasn't getting it. He said it looked like a 4 year old painted it. Robin said Picasso said that it took him his whole life to learn how to paint like a 4 year old. Howard said he was a bullshit artist.
Howard said that he found Adriana fascinating. Howard said she's treating her job like a truck driver or a taxi driver would treat it. She was speaking about it in a business like manner. Howard said that she was treating it like a day at the office. Howard said it was wild. He said she's like the accountant of anal. Howard said she was fascinating.
Howard asked Mike if he wanted to make 500 bucks. Mike said he would love to. Howard said the money is courtesy of Panasonic and Technics headphones. Howard asked if he was over 18. Mike said he is. He lives in the US too. Howard said it's time for the Nicole Bass Either-Or game. Howard said they're going to find out if Mike knows her enough to make 500 bucks.
Howard said he's going to give Mike a sample. He said they asked Nicole ''Oral sex or regular sex?'' Howard said he figures regular sex. Howard said he thinks she has to be kind of self conscious about what she has in her pants. Howard asked what they think. Robin said regular. Mike went with Robin and said regular as well. This was just a practice question. Nicole's answer was ''I love having oral sex rather than having a cock just shoved in me.'' Howard said Fred's impression of her is too high. Her voice is even deeper. Fred tried doing that voice lower.
Howard said they asked Nicole ''Douche or soap and water?'' Mike said he's going to say Douche. Howard said he's going to give him a chance to pass on one of the questions. Mike passed on this one. Howard played her answer which was soap and water and using the shower head to get it out of there. Howard said that poor shower head...
Howard said that they asked Nicole ''Lingerie or Nude?'' Mike went with Lingerie. Howard said he thinks it's going to be nude. Howard played her answer which was Lingerie. Fred did more of his Nicole impression which sounds like Herman Munster.
Howard said they asked Nicole ''Maxi pad or tampon?'' Mike said he's going with Maxi pad. Nicole picked tampons.
Howard said they asked Nicole ''Clooney or Brad Pitt?'' Mike said he's going to go with Clooney. Howard played Nicole's answer and it was Brad Pitt. Mike missed that one. He had one more chance.
Howard said they asked Nicole ''Dancing with the Stars or The Bachelor?'' Mike said he's going to go with The Bachelor. Howard played Nicole's answer which was The Bachelor.
Howard said they asked Nicole ''Heels or flats?'' Mike said he's going to go with heels. Howard said he would too. Howard played Nicole's answer which was heels. Mike won the 500 bucks and a set of headphones. Mike said he just moved into his house so that will pay the first cable bill. Howard put him on hold.
Howard said that was exciting. Robin said it was terrifying. Fred did more of his Nicole impression that was even deeper than he had ever done it. Howard replayed some of her answers and Fred did more of his impression. They went to break after that.
Howard asked where the This Day in Howard Stern Show History is. Gary told him where it was. Howard said this is from 1985 and it was when Frank Zappa was on. Howard said he tried to get Frank to play what him and he started playing ''Louie, Louie'' himself. Howard played the clip and it was him playing piano trying to get Frank to play along. Frank didn't and just said no when Howard asked him to play lead. Howard said he liked his vocal on that.
Howard said Lisa G interview Kim Kardashian's ass. Howard played the bit where they had Lisa asking questions and a bunch of farting sounds as Kim's ass.
Howard said he interviewed Jeff Bridges yesterday and he was tickling him. He played a clip of every one of Jeff's laughs from yesterday's interview. They had isolated them from the interview. Robin said he has a weird ass. Howard said it's great. Howard said he wasn't really tickling him.
Howard played a new song parody for Robin from a guy named Big Lou.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's a big fan of America's Got talent and Heidi Klum is showing more cleavage. Howard said he told Mel and Heidi that they were hired for their beauty and they should show more titty. Howard said they will wear short skirts but no one sees that during the show. Howard said they have to show titty. Howard said that Heidi was saying it's a family show but they can dress more sexy. Howard said they heard him and they started to change their outfits. Howard said Mel did it and then Heidi did it too. Howard said guys like to see that.
Howard said Heidi said to him that she had to tape it in so her breast won't slip out. Howard said if her tit fell out they'd never accuse her of doing it on purpose. Howard said she'd be a huge star if it happened. Howard said if she took it out they'd be upset. If it slipped out then she'd win the million dollars. Howard said if he was a girl he'd totally have a nip slip. Howard said he's sure Robin would do it. Robin said sure she would. Howard said the best thing to happen to that show would be a nip slip.
The caller asked if there's a new batch of contestants coming up today and tomorrow. Howard said yes. He said they have awesome talent tonight. He said he just reviewed the acts. He said they have a comic and a magician and the kid who plays the piano. He said they have another hand balancing guy who had his dog in the act last time. Howard said there are terrific acts tonight. Howard said there won't be any triple anal though.
Howard said he has a clip of Richard's dad calling. Howard paled the clip and Richard's dad was talking about Richard's mom catching a 30 pound channel in the lake. Howard asked what a channel is. Fred said that's new to him. He said he doesn't know what a channel is. Howard said he thought he was saying that he was channeling fish or something. Richard came in and said it's a type of catfish. He said it's a whiter meat than the others. He said that it's the best kind of catfish. Howard said he's heard catfish is horrible. Richard said it's not.
Howard asked Richard how old his parents are. Richard said his dad is 70 and his mom is 62. Howard said that he and Robin could be Richard's parents. They're old enough. Richard said his dad caught an 80 pound catfish once. He said it took a long time to reel that one in.
Robin asked how they catch those fish. Richard said they do casting but they also do limb lines. He said you leave those in until the next morning and then come see what you have. He said it could end up being a snake. He said his dad brings a gun with him just in case.
Howard said he'd last about 2 days in the apocalypse. He said he wouldn't be able to eat all of this stuff. Richard asked if they watch Naked and Afraid. Howard said he hasn't but he has watched the naked dating show. Richard said the guy on Naked and Afraid had diarrhea and the woman stepped in it so they got into a big fight over that.
Howard said if he was in an apocalypse his wife would starve. He said he can't fish. He said he'd catch a tire or something. Richard said people look really tough but once you put them in the wild they can't survive.
Howard played another song from Big Lou for Robin. He had one from Jeremiah Kean as well. Howard said that's nice. Howard said there was a lot more to it but he cut it off.
Howard said he has a radio host quitting in the middle of his show. He said he thinks it was fake so he won't bother with that.
Howard said they had a phony phone call during a water main break news story in Los Angeles. Howard played that clip and the guy got through as Lewis Slungpoo. The guy said the water main break was because of a cherry bomb being flushed down a toilet. The guy had the news anchors believing his bullshit. He said it was either that or a really large dump. The news anchors were told it was a phony call so they hung up on him. Then the anchors said they weren't sure if that was a real call or not.
Howard read through some of the email. He said some people want him to shut up about Israel. He said everyone loved Jeff Bridges. Howard said he's trying to edit a little bit. He read an email about Sal and his new porn of choice which is trailer park porn. Howard had a couple of emails about that. Howard said there was email about Richard not brushing his teeth at the beer fest. Howard said he had some about Hanzi and Melrose Larry Green. He had some about Bobo moving to Florida and how he'll be known as the hot young driving instructor.
Howard said he tries to sound intelligent by saying he read articles in the NY Times. Howard said he should do that right now. Howard said that he can see Benjy over the top of his NY Times. He crinkled some paper and asked if it was bothering Robin that he was reading the NY Times.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the Nicole Bass stuff was really disturbing. He asked if they're going to have Tan Mom in for an IQ test. He asked if they would have an IQ off with Tan Mom and evil Dave. Howard said that sounds reasonable.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked how he's going to decide which magician they're going to put through. He said they're really good. Robin said they'll judge by how good they do each week. Howard said he likes someone who can engage without going too long. Howard said 90 percent of magic is the presentation. Howard said he'll tell people who to vote for. Howard said you can tell when he's happy about an act.
Howard read some more email about Jeff Bridges and how great he was yesterday. Howard said he has Jeff's music there and he's going to take it home and listen to it. Howard said they had so many nice comments about that.
Robin read about how America's Got Talent is getting the biggest ratings this summer. Robin said that it's beating the new Halle Berry show ''Extant.'' Howard laughed. Robin said he's big. Howard said it's the biggest show of the summer. He said it's number 1 and number 2.
Robin said she saw a picture of Ben Affleck as Batman and she's worried. Robin said she doesn't see him as Batman. Howard said they'll find out soon. Robin said she's not sure about the whole thing. Howard said it's one of the biggest questions for comic book fans. Howard said that superman should be able to beat Batman. Howard said he could defeat him with his head vision from a long distance from any Kryptonite that Batman might have. Howard said Batman is very intelligent though. He can figure out shit and how to beat him. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about the super heroes.
Howard said Jeff Bridges is really strong. He said that he came over and gave him a hug. Howard said he felt like a chick. He said he had him in a boa constrictor hug. He said he was man handling him. Howard said Jeff asked him ''Boy or girl?'' Howard said he wanted to pose for a picture and it was a prom picture pose. He said Jeff had him wrapped around him and he felt like he was going to break his arm. He said they both looked up at the sky and it was so funny. Howard said that is one funny dude. Howard said he's a really strong guy too.
Robin read about how Pitbull is the first Latino to get his own radio channel there at SiriusXM. Howard said that's thanks to him. He said that he went in and told them that he's an excellent role model. Howard said that's how that came about. Robin said that Pitbull has his own channel there now. Robin said he's the first Latino with his own channel there. Howard said they have a great party channel called Venus there at Sirius now. He said he played it at a party he had last week. He told Robin to check that out. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about a woman who found a swastika on her McDonald's bun. It was done in butter. Robin said the woman was offered another sandwich for free. Howard said that's awful. Robin said they knew who the employee was and they terminated that person.
Howard said that Matt Evans sent in a song about Benjy and it seems like he hates Benjy. Howard said he might be jealous of Benjy and his girlfriend. Howard asked if Benjy is still with her. Benjy said they're working things out. He said Elisa would probably say they're broken up. Howard played the song and Matt sang about what an asshole Benjy is. Howard said he thought that was pretty good. Howard said that was to the tune of Benjy and Elisa's song ''Online Sweetheart.'' Howard asked if Benjy is seeing anyone else. Benjy said he's not. He said he loves Elisa.
Howard said JD got a song parody too. He said that was about JD and his girlfriend. The lyrics were just ''JD's in love'' and that was about it. Howard said he was waiting for something else to happen. Howard said he is in love. Howard said he could have had more lyrics to that one.
Howard said JD is in love with his Chinese food he orders every day. JD said he doesn't eat it every day. Howard said he sees it every day. He said they divide the food into different sections. He said it's like they're concerned the food will run together. Howard said it's so depressing. He said he has Cheetos for breakfast and Chinese for lunch. Howard said Benjy eats a lot of pretzels too. Robin said she saw that and it didn't even phase him. Howard said Benjy said he put on a few pounds. He said they're the giant stick pretzels. He said they have them for free there. He said that Benjy doesn't think it's that many calories. Howard said he must have had 15 of them. Benjy said there were 10. He said he looked it up and they're 25 calories. Gary said it's actually 30 but he was close. Howard said that's not bad then.
Howard said Gary got fat again. He said he looks like he's the size of Benjy. Howard said he asked Gary how much he's running. Gary said that he runs 35 years. Howard said Gary's belly was hanging over his belt like Chris Farley in that ''Van down by the river'' guy sketch. Howard said he should come in and pick up his shirt. Gary said no.
Fred said that the pretzels Benjy is eating are at least 120 calories for 3. Robin said they have to be 96 calories each.
Benjy said that she noticed that Howard's skin looks really good lately. Benjy told him that he was glowing this morning. Benjy said it looks really pretty today. Howard told him his eyes are beautiful.
Howard said he heard that Gary ate 5 of Jon Hein's brownies this morning. Gary said he had 3 but yes he did eat them. He said he eats whatever he wants. Howard said he must be eating a lot to maintain that weight if he's running that much. Gary said he weighs 195 ponds and he's 5'8'' tall. Howard said he's probably 5'6'' or 7. Gary said he's 5'8'' and not listening to him. Howard told him to get on the scale. Gary said he's not doing that because he's not his monkey.
Howard asked why Gary won't weigh himself. Howard said he thinks that he's breaking 210. Howard said there's no way he's 195. Howard said he's running 35 miles and he must be doing it 7 at a time. Gary said he runs every day, 5 miles. Howard said he should watch what he eats. Gary said he's celebrating the summer like Jackie used to.
Robin said there's an update on Tracy Morgan. Robin said he was in an accident a couple of months ago. Robin said he's struggling according to his agent. Robin said that they're hoping for a full recovery. Howard said he sent Tracy a gift. Robin said she'd like to write him something. Howard said he can tell her how to get in touch.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Ben Affleck didn't write ''Argo'' so she was wrong about that earlier. They were talking about how he was always good in movies that he writes. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about how Billy Joel was singing Uptown Girl to Christie Brinkley. Robin said that she was sending out pictures of the two of them and they seem to be getting along lately. Robin said she thinks that's nice.
Robin said she had an update on Casey Kasem. Robin said he still isn't in the ground. Robin said the wife may be having his body sent to Europe. Howard said this is some saga. Robin said he died 2 months ago and this is the second time she's moved the body without the children's consent. Howard said he'd love to make a movie where they take Casey's body around the world. Howard made up a call he'd make to Jean Kasem. He did her voice and had a conversation with her about the whole thing. He said he'd call it Weekend at Bernie's European Vacation. He was lining up talent for the movie too. He had Aaron Paul ready to play a young Casey. Howard said they didn't need a stunt man to throw him off the top of the Eiffel tower since he's dead already. Howard said that's at the end of the film. Howard said the widow seems to be pretty reasonable. Howard asked her if she'd be okay with really wild stuff and she agreed to it all. Howard said he has a million ideas.
Robin read about how George Clooney's fiancee is turning down a job investigating the deaths in Gaza. Howard said she's running the UN all of a sudden. Robin said that she released a statement saying that she was honored by the offer but she declined it due to prior commitments.
Robin read about Robin Williams' daughter posting something about her dad on her Twitter account. Robin said this was Zelda who appeared in House of D with her dad. She recently turned 25. Robin read more about Robin's death and had some details about his life growing up.
Howard had another idea for Casey Kasem. Howard said it's a Caseynado film where he's cloned and a tornado hits the facility which kills the scientist and spreads Casey all over the country.
Howard said Robin Williams was such a talent. Robin said that she has some comments from Pam Dawber and she's devastated. Robin had a clip from Mork & Mindy that they played. Howard said the show was good but that clip wasn't so funny. Howard said that clip made him feel stupid for watching that show for so many years. Robin had some other audio clips of some people commenting on Williams' death. They had some audio of Conan O'Brien and Andy Richter talking about that since they found out during the show while they were taping. Howard said he's glad they let Andy talk. He said he's really one of the funniest dudes he knows. Robin said they had Will Arenett on the show too. Howard said he was at dinner with Will a couple of weeks ago and he was talking to him about that deep voice he has. He said he still does voice over stuff and he's been doing it since he was young. Robin said that Robin has 4 movies coming out. Robin read about the four that will be out later this year and next year. Howard said the guy was remarkable. He said that he was so giving. Howard said he had no idea he was so depressed. Robin said he's had many bouts with substance abuse. Robin said that he was sober for a long time and then had a relapse a few years ago. She said she thinks he's been struggling ever since. Howard said it's sad to see him go. He went into a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about what's going on in Israel and how the cease fire is holding for now. Robin said that Israel and Hamas have sat down for talks in Cairo.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was watching Private Parts last night and when Robin is leaving in a cab you can see Robin Williams on a marquee on the street. Howard said he did that as a tribute. The caller said he loves Howard and loves his career.
Robin read a story about how there's a second video of Tony Stewart's accident. Robin said they have a different view of the accident and they say they're analyzing it. Howard said he feels that it's not a controversy. He said the guy walked out onto the track. Robin said everyone else avoided him. Howard said you can't convict a guy over that. Howard said if a guy walks out into a firing range and he happens to hit him and no one else does, that doesn't mean you can convict him. Robin read more about how Kevin Ward Jr. died of massive blunt force trauma.
Robin asked Howard what the world's top tourist destination is. Howard said it's Casey Kasem. Robin said it's actually France.
Howard took a call from Jeff the drunk who said he would never commit suicide. Howard said that you'd think Jeff would be the guy to do that. Howard did his Jean Kasem impression and asked if Jeff was single. Jeff said he is. Howard had Jean asking to be set up with Nicole Bass because he sounds like a nice gentleman. Howard said he's going to see Jeff tonight at AGT.
Robin read a story about a teenager who allegedly shot his parents to death. Robin said the boy was home schooled and the parents were very strict.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who asked how long before someone has a heart attack doing that ice bucket challenge. Howard said it's supposedly for charity. He said he hasn't seen anyone get money from that. Howard said it's dangerous to do. He said it's shocking to the system. Howard said he could challenge Robin to it and she doesn't have to write a check either way. Tommy said he's glad Howard stood up to Matt Lauer over that. Howard said he just says no. Howard said someone will die from it. He said it's nonsense. He said it's dangerous to dump ice water on someone like that.
Robin read a story about the rioting going on over a shooting of an unarmed man. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on how they want the National Guard there to protect them from the rioting.
Robin read a story about a midwife who told a woman she could smoke weed while she was pregnant. The woman said she was smoking it to help with her nausea.
Robin had Howard play a song. It was about fantasy football. Robin said it was for DirecTV and it was the Manning Brothers doing the awful song. They wrapped up and ended the show after that. They were done around 10:20am.
Jon said Howard was talking about how he never made peace with Robin. He said he looks back on that and regrets it. Jon said that Gary thinks that Howard has some things mixed up. Gary said he thinks that Howard upset Robin but it wasn't the interview. He said he thinks Robin came in and he looked like he had been up all night. He said the interview wasn't all that crazy. He said that they used to have people on and then they'd be a dick to them after they were gone. He said that he thinks that there were some things said on the air at another time that upset Robin.
Jon said Howard was talking about how he felt like he should get in touch with Robin but Beth came in and let him know it was too late. Gary said he's wondering if it's a weird coincidence or what. Jon said maybe he subconsciously heard a news report earlier in the day. Gary said Howard said it was early in the day though. He said he didn't find out until about 6 last night. JD said he found out and he as shocked. He said he wasn't the one who posted it on their site.
Gary said he got the alert and then told his family. He said his son Jackson went on Google and they were saying it was from asphyxiation. He said they obviously knew what it was so he's not sure why they don't just say.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked how the death is affecting them. He said he's like the top 3 or 4 comics. He said he knows Howard is a big fan of him. Jon said that you'll hear how Howard felt about it in the replay. Jon said he is an all time great. He said he's an actor who made it from TV to comedy films to drama. He said that he was really bummed. Jon said he read that Ron Howard said he came in to do Mork for Happy Days and it was 2 hours of just watching him do it. He said he just went of and did that whole character. He said he and Henry Winkler couldn't believe it. Jon said there were a lot of people watching that show and then Mork & Mindy. Gary said he thought he was a great actor. He said he liked him in the creep movies like Insomnia and One Hour Photo. Jon said you can't find a lot of people who don't like him. Jon said he was a great actor.
JD said Howard started in on him and then the other guys took the brunt. He said he's walking more himself. He said he's going back and forth to work. He said he's alright and he'll live. JD said he knows he's out of shape though.
Benjy asked JD if he worries about how his girlfriend looks at him. JD said she's okay with it so he's okay with it. Benjy said Elisa tells him to be naked all the time but he'd rather not be. Gary said he has seen Benjy naked more than he should have. He said there was a period of time where they had a photo of Benjy naked in the lotus position. He said it's different for him.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he had a friend he was on the outs with and he thought about calling him and then two days later his friend told him that he passed away. Jon said he thinks sometimes everyone gets that feeling and you can't explain it. Gary asked if it's energy or is it just coincidence. Jon said he thinks it's coincidence. He said he's not sure if it's fate or coincidence.
Gary asked JD if he believes in any of that. JD said he's not sure, he just doesn't know. Benjy asked Gary and JD to name someone from high school they would contact. Jon just took a call while Benjy was doing his shtick.
Wheels called in and said that it bothers him about what they say about depression. He said he thinks that these people aren't selfish when they take their own lives. He said that he thinks they've had enough and that's their time to go. Wheels said that King of All Blacks is an ignorant mother fucker and if he was black he'd beat the shit out of him for calling himself King.
Jon said that some people think it's an easy thing to tell someone that they should just stop drinking if they're an alcoholic. He said sometimes you hit a point where it's just not worth going on anymore. He said that's really difficult for many people to navigate.
Gary wondered if it's any different for Robin than it is for a Crackhead. Benjy said he's wondering if this makes people feel like they could end it if Robin Williams can do it.
Wheels said that kids doing it isn't right. He said that he has seen it and it's close to him. He said that kids need to be talked to. Wheels said when a grown adult take it into their hands it takes a lot to go through with it. He said that he thinks those people who survive it are idiots. Gary said if you want to kill yourself it's an easy job. He said there are some who say they want to kill themselves but they really don't want to. Jon said they had to go to break after that.
Benjy asked if he's ever been with a porn star from the show. JD said he was with Kimberly Kane. Gary said he can't remember what happened at Hedonism. JD said he had already lost his virginity then. He said he had 4 girls giving him a hand job. Gary asked if he can handle that. JD said he handled it just fine. He said he knows he wasn't anything special. He said it was Doug just telling him to go in and do whatever.
Jon said now JD has a relationship and it must feel kind of good to turn that down. JD said it does. He said he should have told her that she can look but she can't touch. He told her to just stare at him all she wants.
Ronnie asked how JD's girlfriend handles this stuff. JD said that she doesn't want him fucking the porn chick. Gary said she might be thinking that someone else finds him attractive. JD said she's okay with whatever on the show. JD said that he told his girlfriend that something might happen with him going in the studio. He said he wanted her to know ahead of time.
JD said that if something happens after then he'll deal with it. He said she's cool with it so far. He said she knows the deal.
Ronnie said if you tell in advance you wind up in a fight that shouldn't be. Gary said JD didn't say anything bad though. Ronnie said it's not anything bad. Gary said that it's a good preemptive strike for JD to do. Ronnie said it's not wrong. He said he juts did it in a different way.
Benjy asked if there was anything after he made out with Lisa G. Ronnie said they talked about it during the show. He said his girlfriend knew about that. Ronnie said that they had talked about it the day before. He said his girlfriend told him he could fuck Lisa G if he wanted to.
Jon said Adriana had some interesting stories about her foster families. Gary said that it's really weird to hear her asking if any girl would want to fuck her father figurer.
Gary said that Sal is the king of saying things that no one else will do. Jon said he was bursting to come out and talk about that Rocco guy. Gary said Sal came up to him telling him about that classic scene of all time where he dunked that girl. Gary said that's a classic for Sal but no one else. JD said Sal was yelling about how he's his favorite guy and he couldn't want to get in the studio. Gary said he told Sal to go right in and tell Howard what he had to tell him.
Jon said that Sal is watching trailer park porn now. Gary said Sal came in and told him about what turns him on about that stuff. He said that he spent about 10 minutes talking about that with him. Gary said the thing that excited him about it was about how it seems to real and how dirty it is.
Jon said they should get Sal down there for the last segment. He said last week he was the guy who gave up porn and he was respecting his wife. JD said Sal did say that he doesn't watch porn unless he has to. He said he must have had to watch the trailer park porn. JD said you can't just go to the internet and find it. He said it's a pretty specific thing you have to search for.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he saw how large a 5 pound gummy bear is. He said they're like the size of a pineapple. Gary said he knows they're really malleable. Ronnie said she said they melt too so maybe they get smaller.
Jon said that Adriana did triple anal. Gary said that the records just keep going. He said he remembers seeing Ginger Lynn doing a scene where she did something so outrageous. He said that she was very petite and he was freaked out about that. He said she did double penetration and now this girl is doing triple anal. He wondered what's next.
Gary said he thinks guys are into it because it's a very degrading act. He said that they know someone who is into that and he's not in there right now. Jon said they'll get to him after a break. They went to break after that.
Jon asked about the trailer park porn. Sal said it just feels real. He said he knows it's not but it feels that way. He said it feels like this could have happened to him as a kid.
Jon asked what happened to the abstention to porn. Sal said that he still avoids it but he did watch this stuff. Ronnie said he's full of it. Gary said if he said he quit drinking and he drank on the weekend then he'd call him out on that. Sal said he did fall off the wagon. He said he's still holding on to the wagon though.
Jon said Ronnie has said he's into trying different things. Ronnie said he and Adriana connected. He said they talked about general stuff and her getting lost on the way there. He said she likes older guys. Gary said that he could have been her foster grandfather. Ronnie said he could have been. Sal asked if Stephanie ever calls him daddy. Ronnie told him to get outta there.
Jon asked Gary who is kinkier, Sal or Ronnie. Gary said it's Ronnie. He said he thinks that Ronnie has an outlet and Sal doesn't. Sal said he's happy in his prison. Ronnie said he doesn't think so.
Gary asked Ronnie if he thinks that he could be part of a triple anal thing. Ronnie said no. He said three guys touching dicks doesn't do anything for him. Jon asked if he could do it where he's doing double and not touching another guy. Ronnie said no to that too.
Jon asked if he'd have a limit of fingers going up his ass. Ronnie said as many as it takes before it hurts.
Shuli came in and said that Ronnie told him he's tasted his own cum. Ronnie said it's not that big of a deal. He said if the girl is playing with your cock and the girl rubs it on her nipple and you go to suck on the nipple then you'll taste it. He said it won't kill you. He said ''it's nature, dude!''
Jon asked if he ever licks his hand before he does something sexual. Ronnie said no. Ronnie said you can give a girl an infection if you do that shit. Gary said he knows a guy who got a blow job from a girl and the girl spit on his dick. He said he got all freaked out. He said she blew him though so he wasn't sure why the guy would freak out.
Sal asked Ronnie if he ever lubes up his own dick with spit. Ronnie said he likes the raw feeling. He doesn't do that.
Jon said that they were playing a clip of Adriana making noise while she had sex. He said Howard wishes he could do that to a girl. Ronnie said he doesn't want to say anything but some girls are quiet and some are very loud. Jon asked what he likes more. Ronnie said it's a turn on when a girl does that. He said it makes you feel like you have the biggest cock in the world.
Jon asked Sal if he likes the crazy screaming. Sal said he does. He said he thinks a guy enjoys that. He said he's never really had that experience. Jon asked Sal if he makes noise. Sal said he doesn't really. He said he'll actually pull it back a bit if he's talking too much. He said he will say something that goes too far and his wife will stop. Sal said this isn't real life, it's just an example.
Jon had Shuli run down his Howard 100 News headlines. Shuli did that and then the guys got in their plugs and ended the show. They were done around 11:15am.
Howard Plays Some Oprah Winfrey Audio Clips. 05/15/07. 6:00am
Show opening bits and songs included: Crazy Alice audio clip song parody to the tune of 'White Rabbit,'' movie audio clip about a molested kid, Staind performing a cover of ''The Beetlejuice Song'' live in Howard's K-Rock studio.
Howard started off the show talking about how things keep getting better for Oprah Winfrey. She just got an honorary doctorate from Howard University. He said he had audio from the show to play thanks to JD who had pulled some clips. Howard and Robin spent a short time talking about that and how special Oprah thinks she is for being honored by ''her own.''
Howard played the clip where Oprah is crying and talking about getting this honorary doctorate saying that there's nothing better than being honored by ''her own.'' Then he played a clip of her talking to the students there at Howard University. Howard cut it off and talked about how awful her speeches really are. He said she sounds important but she doesn't really say anything profound. He goofed on her doing an impression of her making her lame speeches.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Oprah only got that honorary doctorate because she gave some money to the school. He also said that they had to turn away some of the parents of the students who were graduating because Oprah was there giving her speech. Howard got back to the audio clips of Oprah talking to the students and telling them that they deserved to be there that day. She broke into her ''street speak'' at one point and said something about how she knew there was going to be some partying going on there.
Oprah talks to the students telling them not to worry about anything and to just relax and take a deep breath because God has got their backs. Howard said that they'd better get off their asses because God isn't going to get them a job. Oprah tells the students not to be afraid and that there is no failure, just God pointing people in different directions. Robin said she's seen failure and pointed out that people sleeping in the subway might be failures.
Howard interrupted again and goofed on Oprah for stealing Phil Donohue's show format and how maybe that's what the students should do to become successful. He asked Robin if she wanted to hear more or if she had heard enough. Robin said she wanted to hear more. Howard took a call from a guy who asked how long he thinks it'll be before Oprah calls herself ''Dr. Oprah.'' Howard said he doesn't think she's as nuts as Bill Cosby who calls himself a doctor. Howard said he would go around calling himself doctor if he got an honorary doctorate. He said he'd do a whole study about the Sybian and talk about his gay character ''Out of the closet Stern'' among other things.
Howard said he liked how Oprah got herself a doctorate by giving that school some money and now she's telling the students to wait for God to get them a job. He got back to the audio clips and continued to listen to Oprah going on about how she had come from good stock and how her grandmother helped point her in the right direction. Howard cut it off and said he thought that she was raped by her family and wondered how she came from good stock if that was the case. Robin said that her grandmother was one of the family members who didn't do anything to her.
Howard took a couple of phone calls and one guy said that it's ridiculous that they just hand Oprah a doctorate like that. Another caller said he's been trying to call for weeks to talk about this subject. He said he works at a Mail Boxes Etc. in New York City and claims that Oprah has a box there where she accepts doctor-like supplies. Howard had to bail out of the call because the guy was going on a little too long. He didn't seem to believe the story either.
Howard got back to the Oprah audio where she had just finished bragging that she had good white people working for her. She also repeated that God has got their backs thing. Oprah then talks about the 8 years she spent in Baltimore and how she was unhappy being a TV news reporter. She talked about her father and how his voice saved her from that. Howard wondered who in her family had raped her if her father was on her good side too. Robin said that it was apparently her mother who left the door open for people to rape her and her father was the one who saved her.
Oprah told the students not to worry about anything because success will take care of itself. She said that their integrity is not for sale. Howard said that Julia Child was the commencement speaker at his graduation and he remembers not understanding a word she said as she made her speech. He also said he can hear his father going off on the school for letting a chef give a speech at a communications school speech. He went into his impression of his father and talked about what he might have said that day.
Howard played some edited clips of Oprah saying things in her book on tape. He had her talking about sexual stuff and things like that. He'd also play some cheering clips to make it sound like she was at the commencement speech at the college. Howard also made his own commencement speech where he was talking about the Sybian and the women who have ridden it. He said he really has to go make a speech at a college now that he knows exactly what to day. He said he knew that if he put a small, black midget in a Superman outfit, he knew he would succeed. Robin told him he could say that God put those people in his path to help make him successful.
Robin said something about the school where JD went called Full Sail so that led to them talking about how Howard could give his speech there. JD came in and said that the school is down in Florida and the logo for the school has an airplane in it. Robin figured that it was a sailing school or something like that.
Howard played a clip where Oprah tells the students that she was told to change her name when she was working in Baltimore and they suggested ''Suzy.'' She decided to keep her name and take her chances with it. Howard said she lucked out in her career by going against the white man. He said she sounds all angry and defiant in her speech. Robin said she got the suggestion to change her name too but she's not going around bragging that she kept it. Howard said that was about enough of Oprah but then played a little more of her speech. Robin said she could bring the rest of it home to listen to there if she wanted more.
Artie Off Shooting ''Rescue Me'' Today. 05/15/07. 6:35am
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Howard who he thinks on the staff will have the worst career after the show ends. Howard started to go through the names and mentioned that Artie is out today shooting an episode of ''Rescue Me'' which he finds odd. He said that he's surprised that Artie is doing that show like it's more important to him than this show is. He said Artie could have told them that he has a job there and that he can't shoot in the mornings. Robin said that she wants to know if Artie is drowsy over there like he is on their show. She said they should send a camera over there to see what kind of shape he's in there.
Howard played a prank call that Sal made to a shop asking them to say ''Olive Blackock.'' After that he went through the list of names again and tried to figure out who is going to have the worst life. When he came across JD, he immediately said that he will be the one. He said that JD is training to watch TV for a living and he's pretty sure he won't be able to find a job doing that.
Gary came in and said that there's a rumor going around about JD and he may have been trying to find a job with Jimmy Kimmel since he has people who watch TV for him. JD said that might be partly true and he was coming in to show Howard some extra clips yesterday. Howard told JD that he's retarded. That led to Howard and Fred goofing on him about how he watches 7 TiVos at the same time back in his office.
JD said that he did get a lot of stuff pulled yesterday but he's pretty sure Howard didn't play any of it. Howard said he did that to make sure Jimmy didn't steal him away. JD said he thinks that he might have been able to gone into the editing field if he wasn't working there. Other than that he's not sure what he'd be doing now. Howard told him he does have a talent doing what he does.
JD said he would like to make a short film or something some day but he gets stuck at the idea for the movie. He said that things don't flesh out fully when it comes to that stuff. Howard told him that the Howard TV guys have said they'll post anything he makes on Howard TV. JD said he knows that, but things just haven't worked out for him yet.
Howard said that he can see Fred continuing to work as an announcer. Gary seems to be a producer of sorts and he could probably get a job somewhere. He wondered if Gary has ever been approached for other jobs. Gary said ''no'' and explained how people have told him that he's never been given offers because people know how committed he is to the show. He knows that's bullshit but he goes with it. Gary said he did consult with some shows on MTV and the Curtis and Lisa Sliwa show asked him to move over there years ago but he turned that offer down.
Howard said he worries about Benjy but he can write jokes. Sal and Richard are go-getters and are funny so they'll have something going on in 3 years just in case he retires. Howard said that Ralph he may have to continue to employ somehow. He said he'll have to continue dressing like he's on TV every day so Ralph will have something to do. Howard said maybe he'll hire JD to tape all of his TV shows for him so he doesn't have to worry about that.
Howard's Gay Night Of Movies And TV. 05/15/07. 6:50am
Howard said he had a really gay night last night. He said he finally got Amazon Unbox where he can download movies to his TiVo. He said he downloaded this movie The Holiday and it was horrible in the beginning. About halfway through he said it got good and it was a great chick flick. He said that Beth asked him to record ''How I Met Your Mother'' because it was the season finale. He said he realized that he couldn't tape it because he was taping Dancing with the Stars. He had stopped watching ''How I Met Your Mother'' because he thought it got really bad. He said he was able to get a copy though so he didn't need Gary's copy when he made that available.
Howard said that he had a bunch of stuff to get to but he might have to take a break. Robin asked him if he's still playing chess. He said he's kind of been doing poorly at the game and has been slacking off a little lately. He said that he went up a little bit and then started losing so he went down a couple of levels. He said he learns more when he goes down though so that helped his game.
Howard got back to goofing on Oprah a little more. He was making fun of the comments she was making about God having everyone's back and making up some stuff she could have said in that speech of hers. He was also goofing on Artie for not showing up to work today because he was busy with that ''Rescue Me'' thing. He went to break a short time later.
Martin Calls In From Israel. 4/9/02. 8:10am
This guy Martin called in from Israel saying that he was called back into the Israel army reserves when all of the fighting picked up over there. He told Howard that they had a bunch of body bags coming in to the area he is in. He said they lost 21 of their guys today. He and Howard spent a few short minutes talking about that before Debbie Schlussel of TownHall.com called in and shared her thoughts on Yasser Arafat. Howard didn't let the discussion go on too long though. He ended up cutting them short because they were getting a little too deep into it.
The Return Of Uzo. 4/9/02. 8:25am
This woman Uzo used to be on the show quite often years ago. She used to call Howard her ''God'' and couldn't even look him in the eye. A few years ago she was arrested for running a brothel and she disappeared from the show for a while. She came in this morning to explain what happened.
Howard talked about how he found out about Uzo when he read an article about her arrest in the paper. Uzo made sure to tell Howard that she was never a prostitute herself. Howard said she did offer to give this guy from IBM oral if he gave her two computers one time. She denied that story though and said that would be prostitution.
Uzo went on to talk about how she got into this escort service thing because she was on the web and had the idea to start it. Howard interrupted her and said she still looks hot after all of these years.
Uzo got back to her explanation and said she had set up this web site for guys to hook up with famous models for ridiculous amounts of money. She said that some of the women got as much as $300,000 for a date with these guys who wanted to hook up with them. Uzo said she took 60 percent of the money that came in for setting up the deals.
Howard asked Uzo if she'd be willing to fight Heidi Fleiss at the big Cabbie vs. Stuttering John fight. Uzo called Heidi some names and said that she wouldn't fight her.
Uzo told Howard how the cops busted her one morning while she was still in her night gown. She said they let her change into normal clothes and took her into book her. They apparently asked her to turn in the ''big gun'' of her business but she was the one running it. She said she spent some time in Riker's Island waiting to find out what she'd be prosecuted for but they ended up letting her off.
Uzo says she has been a millionaire since the age of 22 and she now lives in an exclusive section of Palm Beach in a beautiful apartment. You can see pictures of where she lives on her web site Uzo.com.
Uzo said she has her own album coming out this year and she won't be going back into the escort business. The album was supposed to come out a couple of years ago but she was in trouble at the time so she put it off. Howard wanted to hear the album but she hasn't released it yet. She said she'd like to come back and promote it when it's released.
Several times Uzo said that she never robbed or embezzled from anyone so she did nothing wrong. She said she was the best at what she did.
Howard just wanted to see her ass so he asked her to show it to him. She did that and Howard wrapped it up shortly after taking a bunch of phone calls for Uzo. A guy claiming to be a detective said that Uzo doesn't make all of this money she claims to make. He said when they arrested her she only had $188 in her checking account. Uzo said she didn't know who the guy was and it doesn't matter what he says. Howard said the clothes she wears and the way she lives sure make it seem that she's making some kind of money.
Is The Sexxxy Noises Chick Hot Or Not? 02/03/04. 8:20am
Howard said that their 2000th episode of the E! show is on Thursday. They're going to tape it that day and show it that night. Howard went on to play some new KC song parodies that some guy has sent in. There were a few songs that Howard thought were pretty funny. He played them and laughed as he heard the songs about KC being gay.
Howard has been playing these SexxxyNoises.com clips for a while now. They're clips of a woman trying to talk sexy and create a scenario so you can whack off to it. Howard said they're bringing in three women and they're going to try and pick out which one is the woman who actually does the speaking in the tapes. Howard said that all three of the women were good looking. Gary said he thought he knew who it was after seeing the three women.
Howard said he was going to start. He played a little more of the tape and said that the first chick looked like she just stepped out of a modeling gig. He said she was making him weak in the knees so there's no way she's doing it. The second chick was kind of ''swarthy looking'' to him and he didn't think it was her. The third chick looked like she had an accent to him so she couldn't have been the chick. He said that if it's the first chick, he's going to be buying more of these tapes. Howard went with number three as the woman who does the tapes. She had big, fake boobs so that's part of why he went with her.
Gary also picked number 3. Robin also went with number 3. Fred said that number 2 looked like she could be someone's neighbor. Howard and Gary could just tell it was number 3. Fred had to pick her as well.
Howard had the woman reveal herself and it turned out to be number 1. She said she calls herself Jessy Demoaner. Howard couldn't believe it and said that she was really hot. She said she lives in Reno, Nevada and she's single. Jessy said that she dances topless at a club out there. She's only 22 and she was approached to do these tapes for the web site.
KC said that she's going to reenact one of the tapes for them. She said that the orgasms on the tapes are for real and she's going to show Howard how she does it. Howard asked her if she wants him to respond to her when she's doing this stuff. She said he can do what he wants. She said that she won't be saying much, it'll mostly be moaning and groaning.
Howard said all of this was crazy. She started to diddle herself while she talked to Howard. She was moaning and breathing heavy as she spoke to Howard. Howard asked her questions about sports and stuff while she was doing herself. Howard said it was the real thing and his ''one incher'' was doing the job on her. She said her arm was tired after she was done. Howard applauded her after she did it. He wanted to see her boobs after seeing her do that. She didn't want to show them for some reason though.
Howard said hello to the other girls that came in. One of them was in the play Birdy's Bachelorette Party (BirdysBP.com ). The other chick, the blonde, said that she messed around with this chick from the web site. The sexy noise chick said that they're allowed to have quite a bit of contact out in Nevada. She said that they don't have the rules like they do in Los Angeles. Howard and John told her that she could be in Playboy because she looks so good. She dances at this place called The Spice House (SpiceHouse.com).
A listener called in and said that he was pissed that Robin was talking during the masturbation session. Another guy said that he just made a mess in his pants while listening to the segment. Jessy said that she's never had an orgasm during sex before. She can only do it herself. Howard said something horrible must have happened to her when she was young. Her father left the family when she was young. She also had some arrests when she was in her teens. She sold pot in high school and got arrested for stealing stuff as well.
Howard convinced Jessy to take her clothes off a short time later. She wasn't into it but he gave her some money. He gave her $1000 but she wouldn't show them her ass. She showed her boobs though. She said she has a bad ass. She said she didn't want to be criticized about her ass. She was also afraid that his fans would make fun of her as well.
Howard and Gary asked Jessy about her family life and what happened when she was young. She said that she's never had anal and doesn't know if she's going to try it. She said no one has tried to talk her into it. Howard gave all of the girls some money for coming in. He thanked ''The Family Business'' for the money he gave away. He also gave the other girls a couple of plugs before he went to commercial break.
Mike Ditka Visits. 10/26/10. 7:05am
After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to a woman using ''Ed Wood'' movie clips. Fred also played Aerosmith's ''Sweet Emotion'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and had Mike Ditka come in. Howard said he's a man's man. He said when he was a tight end he separated his shoulder so he just went into the game and knocked the ball down. Howard was calling Mike ''Coach'' today. He said that many of the players today are like women. He said that Mike went in and played when he had a separated shoulder and he would just swat the ball down and catch it with the other. Mike said that it was harder to catch a football but he went out and did it. Mike said today the game is all about money so it's a different thing now. Mike said he doesn't blame them for playing the way they do now.
Howard asked Mike if he got paid well back in his day. Mike said he signed a $12,000 contract back in 1961 with a $6,000 signing bonus. Times have changed but it wasn't that bad in 1961.
Howard asked Mike what his game plan was back then. Mike said he didn't have a plan until he went to play for the Cowboys. He said he became a coach and if he had never gone to play for Dallas he probably never would have become coach for the Bears.
Robin asked what the importance of the coach is. She said that they don't play the game. Mike said that the coaches formulate the game plan. He said that he's seen teams change and guys like Lombardi are able to inspire the guys to win. Howard said you have to know what you're doing though. Mike said he likes to say Keep It Simple Stupid because it's really not that hard.
Howard asked Mike about working in New Orleans and how he got a lot of crap down there. Mike said he thought he was getting a sign from God when his two Super Bowl winning teams played against New Orleans. He said that he didn't spend much time there in New Orleans though. It was a short stop.
Howard asked Mike about playing sports in school and if he played football. Mike said he was better at baseball but he wanted to play football. He said he was too small and he got his ass kicked. He said his coach encouraged him to stat at it so he did and then he had offers from a bunch of colleges by the end of high school. Howard said Mike must have been Mr. Popularity. Mike said that he really wasn't. He said there were other guys there who were very significant coming out of the same area.
Mike said he went to school to become a dentist. He said that's what he wanted to be. Howard said that his wife's father knows Mike. Beth's father became a dentist after playing football in school.
Howard said he was the hippie in school and guys like Mike were the guys beating him up. Mike said he wasn't like that. He said he didn't care about the hippies and what they were doing. Howard said he heard that Mike was such a hot man in school that he lost his virginity at 7. Mike said he didn't think that he was that popular in school. He said he was just a regular guy going through school.
Howard brought up Brett Favre's texting incident and asked Mike if he thinks that we have to hold them to such high standards. Mike said that they have to hold them to high standards just like politicians. He said that the fans are the people making them popular so they have to respect the fans. He said some of the guys think that the fans don't matter but they really do.
Howard asked Mike what his brothers do and if they're jealous of his success. Mike said they're not jealous but there are some people who hit him up for money. Mike said he's not wealthy but when he was a kid he didn't have all that much. He said that he doesn't need that much now. He said he lives in a condo in Chicago and he doesn't need that much. He has a couple of restaurants in Chicago and Pittsburgh though. Mike said they opened the one in Chicago in 1997.
Howard said Mike is a man's man and he likes to play cards with the guys and stuff like that. Howard said he heard that he had a bet with Michael Jordan for $10,000 in a golf game. Mike said he never did that. He said he didn't bet on sports at all other than a horse race. He said that he never bet on football at all.
Howard asked Mike about running for senate since he thought about that at one time. Mike talked about that a little bit and said that he's actually a resident of Florida and he just has the condo in Chicago. He said they split up the time between those two. He said his wife spends a lot of time in Florida and he goes down there after football season.
Howard asked Mike about being a spokesperson for Levitra. Mike didn't even know what it was for. He said he was told it was for liver disease. Howard said he thought it was a boner medicine. Howard asked Mike if he has ever tried anything like that. Gary said that Levitra is for erectile dysfunction. Mike told him to mind his own business. Howard asked what it's for. Mike said it's like Viagra or Cyallis and it's just made by a different company. He said that there are a lot of people who need help with that so he has no problem with it. Mike said he has dabbled in that but he doesn't take the stuff right now. Howard asked how it works. Mike said he used to take it and wait for a phone call that never came.
Howard asked Mike what his day is like. Mike said he's doing a few shows to talk about this DVD he's promoting called ''Get Coached By Mike Ditka.''
Howard asked Mike about what the DVD would do for him. Mike said that Howard doesn't need it but it's for helping to motivate people. Mike said that he can help people who aren't motivated.
Howard asked Mike if his father was rough on him. Mike said his father did things that you can't do today. He said that he would whip him with his marine belt if he did something wrong. Mike said he would do stupid stuff and his father would punish him like that. He said he would get a whipping for throwing a football through a window.
Mike said that he and his friends would steal his father's cigarettes and set the woods on fire. He said that's the kind of thing he'd get a whipping for. Mike said he'd get spanked on the ass if he did things like that.
Howard asked Mike if he did the same to his kids. Mike said he didn't. He said that his father was raised that way so he didn't know any better. Howard said the guy wasn't a good guy to him. He said he didn't teach him anything by whipping him. Mike said that he didn't do those things ever again after the whippings. Mike said it took him a long time to understand his father. He didn't understand him when he was a kid. He said his father did it for him to get him straight and get him into college. He said he thinks that's why his father did what he did. Howard said he thinks he was jealous of his son. He said his son was out in the woods having fun and smoking cigarettes. Mike said he's not going to argue with him on that. Robin said she thinks that the Coach is right about him doing it for him.
Howard asked Mike about playing football and being single. He asked if he was out there getting laid. Mike said he got married to his high school sweetheart at 20. He said he had a kid by 21. Howard said that's too young to have a kid. Mike said he was able to grow up with his kids so they're his buddies now. He said that's the good thing about having the kids so young. Mike said that he and his wife broke up and it was tough on the kids and the grand kids. Howard asked if it's uncomfortable when they get together. Mike said it's not at all. He said they're still friends.
Howard gave Mike some more plugs for his DVD and said you can find out more at Victor1DVD.com.
Mike told Howard about his 4 hip replacements he's had. Howard asked if he'd let his son play football. Mike said he would. He said that they did a survey about rugby and football and found out that there are less injuries in Rugby even though they don't use helmets. He said that they use helmets for weapons in the games these days. He said that they have rules now to cut down on the injuries. He said that those rules are working and he's seen the difference already.
Howard said Mike is one of the lucky guys who had a life after football. Mike said some of these guys think they have to own the most expensive cars and houses out there. He said he would tell the guys not to have any debt in their lives. He said that's the advice he'd give those guys. Robin said she thinks about Refrigerator Perry when it comes to that. Mike said that he has a disease and he's sick. He said he's getting a little bit better though. Mike said Perry's brother saved his life and he was the one who got him the care he needed. Mike said he could have had a better game plan for his life. He didn't need to spend all of that money he had.
Howard asked Mike if he ever went to a psychiatrist. Mike said he never did. He said he's not angry about his father and what he did or anything like that. Howard said Mike would have gotten to where he got even without the beatings. Mike said Howard might be smarter than him. Howard asked if he's afraid to cry. Mike said he'd cried after getting fired. He said that you cry when you see something emotional. He said that if you go to a veteran's hospital you'll cry.
Howard asked Mike what he was really crying about when he cried after getting fired. Mike said that he thought it was going to last forever so it hurt. He said he wasn't embarrassed but his ego may have been involved.
Gary came in and said he had tape of Ditka crying. Howard asked Gary what he was doing to the coach. Gary said he was just doing his job. Howard said he doesn't like Gary coming in there and making him look bad. He said he's going to do to Gary what Mike's father did to him.
Howard gave Mike some more plugs for his DVD. He said you get that and get a little motivation. Howard said the guy will get you off your ass and give you some direction. Mike said it's only like 35 minutes long.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Mike what his fondest memory was. Howard said it's the broads. Mike said the number one in football is when he went to Dallas and won the first super bowl for them. He said that was a big game for him. He said he was happy about Super Bowl 20 too. He said they were at the top of the world when Dallas won. Howard asked if Landry's hat smelled bad. Mike said hats don't smell. He said Landry never sweated. Howard asked who the greatest coach ever is. mike mentioned a bunch of names of guys who were great. Howard asked who is the most over rated coach. Mike said he didn't know of any. Mike told Howard he's normal just like anyone else.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the recent rash of concussions and if he thinks they should use the HANS device that NASCAR is using. Mike didn't know about it so the guy explained it. Mike said he doesn't think that they'd be able to use something like that in football. Howard said if he had a kid he'd tell them to play tennis and games like that. He said they don't need to be playing full contact sports like football. He said Gary's kids do that and they don't need to be risking it.
Howard took one more call for Mike. The caller asked when he last texted a picture of his junk to a girl. Mike laughed. Howard asked if he even texts. Mike said he does text but he didn't say anything about texting a picture of his penis to anyone. Mike said he's not fast at texting. He said he's not going to judge Favre and the girl but he finds it hard to believe that it would take 2 years to tell anyone about it. He said that he's not sure what it is but he doesn't condone any kind of sexual harassment. He said the time frame is kind of scary though.
Howard said he admires Mike's hair. He's lucky to have his hair like he does. Howard asked if he'd shave his head first. Mike said that he would shave his head before he got a wig.
Howard told Mike he could talk to him all day long. Mike thanked him for having him in. Howard said he wants to see this DVD if his to see what he has to say.
Robin asked if he signs a lot of stuff. Mike said he has a lot of things with his name on them so he goes to a lot of signings. Mike said that people will ask him to sign pieces of napkins when he's in the airport. He said that it can get on your nerves.
Howard said Mike thinks that second hand smoke isn't a bad thing. He smokes cigars. Mike said his father smoked Lucky Strikes for most of his life and he died in his 80s. Howard said Mike is looking good and still hanging in there. He had a heart attack though. Howard asked Mike if he thinks that there is a heaven or hell. Mike said he really doesn't know. Howard had to wrap up with him a short time later. They went to break after that.
Comedian Richard Belzer Sits In For The News. 9/26/02. 9:55am
Comedian Richard Belzer came in to hang out during Robin's news segment. Howard gave Belzer some plugs for his TV show ''Law and Order: Special Victims Unit'' which has it's season premiere tomorrow night. Howard spent a short time talking to Belzer about Yoko Ono having to sue someone for exploiting John Lennon which is just like what she has done over the years. Howard went over a few more things in the news, took some phone calls and then let Robin get to her news. Belzer sat in and commented on some of the stories she brought up.
Today's Unnamed Vacation Special was over around 10:10am.
Richard said they got 13 inches of rain in Islip, Long Island. He said it was like 9 inches in 2 hours or something like that.
Jon said one of the segments from 2007 was Howard talking about what he thinks JD may do some day. He said now you fast forward to today and JD is a successful director and he's moved into the city. Jon said he's changed. JD said he hasn't changed that much. Gary said no one had heard the term Hollywood Harmeyer back in 2007. Jon said he's thinking about Howard going to Full Sail for a commencement speech. JD said no way. Gary said Howard might do it if it was there in the fish bowl studio. He said he thinks Howard has been contacted over the years. He said he has chosen not to do it.
Richard said maybe JD could go down and do the commencement speech. JD said he's heard people saying he should be in the hall of fame. Gary said that he heard his name is being kicked around. JD said he's still paying his student loans so if they want to pay those off that would be great. He said he doesn't want to be in the hall of fame until they're paid off. JD said they've given them a lot of publicity. Jon asked if he really thinks the publicity is equivalent for what he owes them for attending. JD said possibly.
Gary said he was reading about Full Sail and how many successful people have come out of there. He said he doesn't think they really need JD.
Jon asked JD if he would want a bust of him looking the way he does now. JD said he doesn't want any part of that.
Benjy asked if he's comfortable saying what he owes. JD said it's over 20 grand and that's just one loan. He said he had to defer for a while and he has more than one loan. JD said he's made a bit of a dent in it. He said it's still a ways off. Benjy asked what the full cost will be for the school. JD said he got a 2 year degree in 13 months. Benjy asked what it cost him. JD said he has no idea. JD said it was something like 60 grand to go for the full program. Gary said that sounds about right. He said there are kids coming out of college with over $250,000 in debt.
Jon said that he thinks that he should be more grateful. JD said he doesn't need that hall of fame though. Gary said doctors get a stipend and that's what JD is looking for. JD said he's well aware that this is not a good thing or whatever but if he can get it, he'll take it. He said if he can clear this burden somehow he'll do what he can.
Benjy asked if he's peeved at Full Sail that they haven't reached out to him. JD said not really. Richard said he thinks that Rob Thomas went to Full Sail. He said they should ask him about that.
Gary asked Jon if he had an outstanding student loan. Jon said he did not. Gary said he did and so did Benjy. Gary said he started to pay his loan back and it was like $175 a month. He said he had no idea how he was going to come up with that money. He said you work and make more money and by the end it was just a pain in the ass toward the end of the 10 years. He said it's eventually paid off. JD said he's working on that.
Jon said that these days it's crazy how much it ends up costing to go to school. He said there's not even a sure thing anymore when you get out. Gary said when the bubble burst he thought that the college prices were going to come down but they actually got higher. He said the price just kept going up.
Jason came in and said he's got loans and he's not even close to being done. He said he left Rutgers with about 35,000 in debt. He said he started working there and he was deferred for 5 years because he was making under poverty levels. He said that he was only making $19,000 a year. He said he has money that disappears out of his check every paycheck now.
Gary said he had a guy call him once to help him get a credit card. He said at the time he was making so little that even that guy wasn't able to help him get a card. Gary said that's how little he was being paid. Gary said he was able to get a Sears credit card. He said that helped him get another card.
Jon said one of the things Howard discussed in that old bit was about how JD went to Jimmy Kimmel looking for a possible future job. Gary said he did seem to be going into the studio a lot more that day that Jimmy was there. JD said he may have.
Benjy asked if he would let Jimmy Kimmel put his finger in his ass to pay off his loan. Gary said that's like double duty. He'd have to pay off the loan and put his finger up his ass.
Jason said that JD is into this institution for tens of thousands of dollars. He said that they could honor him by paying off that debt.
Gary said his college asked him to come back and speak. He said he did it but didn't get any money from it. He asked if he should.
Jason said when he got his diploma there was a bill in the envelope. He said he didn't get the diploma until the $1,200 was paid off. He said it wasn't cool. He said it feels cheap when they do that.
Gary said JD doesn't owe the college anything. He said he took loans out. He said it was his decision to do that. JD said he doesn't like how this conversation is going anymore.
JD said he'd be in a much better place if he was in a better place and financially stable. Gary asked if he thinks he's not stable. JD said he thinks he's stable but not comfortable. He said he has rent and the loans. He said it's not cheap to live in Manhattan. Gary said that's what Hoboken is for.
Richard said JD spent 10 grand on something that he didn't really need (porn). JD told Richard to shut up. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said maybe JD will be on that list some day since they do follow him on Twitter. JD said their friendship is all he needs.
Jon asked Richard if he lived near Full Sail for a while. Richard said he did and he recorded at Full Sail. He said that he was living in a storage unit at the time. He said that the recordings sounded really good. He asked if JD recorded any bands. JD said he was in the film program so he didn't. JD said they did short films and things like that. He said they had local actors in it.
Benjy asked JD if he knows anyone who is as big as he is now who was there at the time. JD said he doesn't know of any.
Richard said he and JD used to go to the same Sunny's Barbecue in the parking lot. He said that some of the classes there were at odd hours too. He said they'd do that to prepare people for odd hours. JD said some of his classes started at 2am. He said they have a lot of students there and they schedule stuff 24 hours a day. Jon said little did he know that would be his actual schedule.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked what their opinion is about athletes who go to college and go on a full scholarship but don't get paid. Gary said that he thinks it's a business thing. Jon said he agrees with Gary and they're doing a lot for the college and they're going on a scholarship. He said it's like an academic scholarship. Gary said he thinks they're underpaid for what they do when they're playing football or other sports. Jon said that may change over the next 5 years with the new rules.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked why they're ripping on JD for going to Full Sail. He said it's actually a good school. He said he's from Winter Park and he knows people come out of there and get a job. JD said he wasn't guaranteed a job. He said he was helped to get internships and stuff.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she thinks they should pay off JD's loans. She said she heard about it from the show. She was doing her courses online and she ended up getting out of it. Gary said taking college online kind of defeats the purpose of going to college. He said having the interaction with people is what it's all about.
Jon said that you aren't sitting with other students. He said it is the social aspect that matters. Richard said Jon wouldn't have gotten all of those blow jobs without going to college.
The other caller said that they have some good courses there at the school. Gary said he researched it for a while and it does seem to be legitimate now.
Gary said on Wikipedia they're talking about some of the successful graduates from Full Sail. He went through a bunch and they were Grammy and Oscar winners. Gary said they mention JD in there as the Head Media Producer on the Howard Stern Show. Jon said maybe JD has a case there to get his loans paid off.
Jon said later in the show this morning there were some KC songs played and they were by Richard. He said that KC said he wanted to punch that guy in the face. Richard said he thinks he was saying that jokingly. He said he walked up to KC in Las Vegas once and told him who he was and he was thrilled to see him and said he loved that shit. Richard said he thinks that's the way it is on the show. He said it's an honor to have someone write a song about you.
Gary said that he remembers KC introducing him to Richard and they just lit up with a smile. He said he had that long hair at the time. Richard said he grew that hair from 1987 and never cut it. He said he once spilled beer on it and he had a huge knot in his hair. He said he went to a hair salon and they had to cut some of it off to get the knot out. He said he was devastated.
Jon asked what it was like when he cut it all off. Richard said he had a big bald spot in the back and it was just time for it to go. He said he had a bit of a skullet going back there too. They talked about that for a short time and then went to break.
Jon said that he was able to move to TV after playing football. JD said he thinks that Chris Collinsworth is good. Jon said that he thinks he's okay. Gary said he thinks he's good too. Jon said that it's tough for him to get past the fact that Collinsworth was a Bengal.
Jon said it's interesting to hear a guy like Ditka and how he has a sense of humor. He said Howard isn't a big football fan so he has a different perspective. Gary said that his interviews with athletes are amazing because he doesn't care about what other people are wondering about. He said that he asks about what life was like being a ball player.
Jon said it was interesting hearing Ditka's take on the way football is changing. Jon said people are saying that football may not be around much longer because of the concussions. Gary said they are starting to address that in the game.
Gary said that people will never want to stop watching it but they might have to change the game to the point that it's not the game people fell in love with. Gary said there are discussions about getting rid of the kick offs. He said they'll just put the ball at the 35 yard line and start the game. Gary said that's not the game they grew up with.
Jon asked Richard if he ever played. Richard said he hurt himself and he wasn't able to play. He said he hurt his back when a chair collapsed and then he hurt it even worse playing and he wasn't able to walk.
Jon asked JD if he ever played. JD said he played little league football but he sucked at it. He said he just got run over.
Jon asked Benjy if he did. Benjy said he just wrestled. He didn't play football.
Jon said he remembers playing and the coach throwing him out there as a quarterback. He said he loved playing but he wasn't all that great. He said he played all through high school.
Richard said he remembers playing where they could put any weapon they wanted to on their helmet. He said he had a metal bowl but his friend had a table leg that he attached to the hole in the top of the helmet. He said he'd hit people in the gut with it and it was so funny. He said that was just a one day thing for all of the kids.
Gary said his younger son got a bunch of concussions and he stopped playing. He said his older son didn't have that and played for a long time. He said that Howard wonders why he let his sons play and it's really just the greatest comradery in the world. That's why he let them play.
Jon had Lisa G give her Howard 100 News headlines. Lisa ran down a few things and mentioned that Benjy is looking to house sit for someone during the month of September. Jon asked if he's getting bounced out of his place. Benjy said that he's just looking for more places to house sit. Lisa finished up her rundown and the guys got in their plugs as they were ending the show. They were done around 11:05am.
Gary said one time he went to see what his mom was up to. He said she had a microphone around her neck and she was demonstrating a wok. He said he and his mom came down the escalator and she saw him and blurted out that her son was there. Gary said he and his friend got on the other escalator and went back up.
Gary said no one was thinking about what was good for you when they cooked. He said everything that's bad for you becomes good for you for a minute in some form. He said it's dark chocolate and wine now. He said everything in moderation is fine.
Jon said Gary got picked on for his eating and so did Benjy. Jon said Benjy had pretzels and it went from like 30 calories to like 300. Benjy said they're fine. He said based on calories it's fine. Jon asked how many he eats. Benjy said that day he took 10. He said he knew approximately how many calories they were. Jon asked how he eats them without making noise. Benjy said he's away from the microphone when he eats them. Gary said anything you do around Howard he's going to notice. He said once Fred was eating something that Howard could smell. Benjy said he's very careful though. He said he used to bring in coffee and it was flavored. He said he understands that Howard doesn't want to be disturbed.
Gary said they used to work where an Italian restaurant must have been hooked up to their ventilation. He said the smells used to make Howard nuts.
Jon asked if things that Howard says roll off Gary's back. Gary said they do. He said he's not in perfect shape and he knows it. He said he has a gut. He said that he had a gut when he was 21. He said he thinks he's doing the best he can with what he has. Gary said he's been thin but never toned.
Benjy said his best shape was when he was 2 or 3 years old. He said after that he just ate too much. Gary said he looks at Steve Brandano and he thinks he could get in that condition. He said it might not be worth it. Gary said he's okay with the way he is.
Jon said the struggle is everything for Howard. He said that he's always saying he wishes he could eat different things. Gary said Howard is in a different position than they are. He said he's on national television. He said guys like CeeLo don't seem to give a shit though. Jon said Howard sees something that bulimic women see. Gary said he's manorexic. He said Howard still doesn't see a thin man in the mirror when he looks in it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it's kind of crazy that Howard is busting Gary and Benjy's balls and Howard is getting to the point of being unhealthy. Gary and Benjy said that's not true. Jon said Howard wants to look good and be in shape. He said they do think he sees himself as someone who is 10-15 pounds heavier than he is. Benjy said he thinks Howard likes where he's at now. He said if you asked him if he could lose 5 more he'd say he could.
Gary said when he sees the women Howard likes they're too skinny to him. Jon said Howard thinks that a woman can't be ''too skinny.'' He said that's his perspective.
Jon said that Howard wants JD to eat better and get into shape. He said he's said it to Jason and to him too. Gary said he thinks he agrees with him on that. He said the older you get the harder it is to break bad habits. He said that he looks at JD and he thinks about what he was like at that age. He said at a certain age you think you're invincible. Gary said there are things coming down the pike that are inevitable. Jon said he has a hard time with some of those things himself.
Benjy said he loves eating healthy. He said he feels so great when he does it. Gary asked what his weakness is. Benjy said he uses food as a drug. He said to relax at night he will stuff. Jon said he doesn't enjoy eating healthy. He said he doesn't like it.
Benjy asked Jon if he will get healthy one day or is he like Gary staying where he is. Jon said he isn't comfortable where he is. He said there's something inside him that says he'll be alright. He said he's just putting off the inevitable. He said that's his weakness.
Gary said if he were working in an office he'd be 20 pounds heavier and no one would even blink. He said this is a different kind of office. Jon said they live in a weird place. They went to break after that.
Benjy asked if they moved the show to Florida or somewhere, would they go with it. Gary said it would depend where. He said he would have said no at one point. He said he probably would. Gary said he's already looking for a place to retire to that's warmer. He said he might go to Florida if Howard wanted to move there. Jon said he's not sure he'd want to go where Howard would be. Jon said it would be a tough call.
Jon asked Benjy what he would do. Benjy said L.A. or San Francisco he'd say yes. He said he's not sure about Florida. He said he loves New York so much that he wouldn't want to do it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he was calling about the diet thing. He asked Jon if he wants to see his kids get through college and all of that. Jon said he does. He said he prefers the crap food but his wife tells him to grow up. Benjy asked why he doesn't do something like what he did. Jon said he doesn't want Perez Hilton's finger up his ass. Benjy said that he could just get it in his head and it would drive him to do that. Jon said he's not going to do that. He said it's kind of bullshit. He said it's a pride thing almost. He said he needs someone to sit down with him and tell him what to eat. He said he doesn't know what to eat. Benjy said it's so simple. Jon asked why he's not in shape. Benjy said he knows what to eat. He said he could go to a nutritionist and get help. Jon said that he has been to one.
Gary said you have to find a nutritionist who is reasonable and is willing to work with you. Benjy said they can work that fast food into it. Jon said he has spoken to someone who was willing to do that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that was a great idea from Benjy for Jon to quit fast food and get fingered. The caller also said that in 1991 there was a movie called Fisher King and the character seemed to be based on Howard loosely. Gary said he thinks there are many movies where Howard was the basis of characters. Gary said that there have been articles where writers talked about that. He said Oliver Stone said he based Talk Radio on Howard and Alan Berg. Jon said that Good Morning Vietnam was based on guys like Howard too.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he was listening to the Mike Ditka interview yesterday. He was wondering if they were going to try to get Derek Jeter in there. Gary said he was reading about Matt Lauer and how even he can't crack Derek Jeter. Gary said it would be interesting to have him on the show but he's as good at not answering questions as Howard is at asking. He said it would be like a joust. He said Jeter is tough.
Gary said Jeter seems like OJ before he was OJ and Tiger before we found out about Tiger. He said that there are rumors about him that he's heard where he sends out gift baskets to women he's dated when he's done with them. He said not one woman has ever doubled back to talk about the guy and he's not sure how that's possible. He said he thinks they'll find out about him eventually but it may take a while.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary looks better than John Oates now. Gary said he's not sure about that. He said the guy is in phenomenal shape. He said he ran into him not too long ago and he looked fine.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she agrees that Howard is getting too thin. She said she lost a lot of weight herself and she's 2 years younger than Howard. She asked if Howard is doing anything cosmetically. Gary said if he is he doesn't know anything about it. He said he's usually pretty up front about that stuff. Gary said when women get their work done they get their cheeks higher and frozen and that is the giveaway. Benjy said Howard's skin looks so good lately. He said he pointed that out to him the other day. He said that he told him he's been eating more cucumber and that may have something to do with it.
Jon said Howard doesn't think he's too thin and he seems to think that Will and maybe Fred are the other guys who are in okay shape on the show. Jon said Richard is in shape but the drinking is the problem. Gary said Richard is in phenomenal shape but that drinking will catch up to him. Jon said that you can do all the running in the world and it won't save your liver. Gary said his cousin told him that a person who smokes and runs a short amount of time will be in better shape than a person who is sedentary and doesn't smoke. Gary said the health benefits of exercise outweigh the negatives of smoking.
Benjy said there was a headline yesterday that said more than 4 miles of running a day has detrimental effects. Gary said they do say that it fucks with your body for long distances.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that they have to talk about cravings as addiction. He said that they're actually addictions. He said if you can get over that then you can get healthy. Jon said his wife says he's addicted to fast food. Gary said that some people think that people use that word as a crutch. Gary said Howard for a long time thought sex addiction is bullshit but Howard has said he thinks it's real now. Gary said he believes there are foods you can become addicted to. Gary said King of All Blacks said it the other day when he said ''just stop doing it'' like it's that easy. Gary asked if you're lazy or addicted. Jon said it depends on the person. He said he may be both. They went to break after that.
Gary said that Susan Olsen used to follow them on their Los Angeles radio station when they were on terrestrial radio.
Gary asked how many episodes he did on the Brady Bunch. Robbie said he did 6. Robbie said that just imagine that you had a job for 6 weeks when you were a kid and everyone remembers that. Gary asked if he knows what Jon Hein is famous for. Robbie said he's not sure. Gary told him that it's the web site JumpTheShark.com. Robbie said he owes Jon a thank you then. He said that they had a bunch of chapters and one was called The New Kid In Town and a photo of him was the icon for that. He said he found it hilarious and it came around the time that the Brady Wave was starting to build. Robbie said he's not sure he made any money from it but he got attention from it. Robbie said people think he killed the show.
Gary asked what he says to that when they say that. Robbie said the show was dead when they went to Hawaii. Benjy said he heard that they had decided to cancel it before Robbie was even on the show. Robbie said that they thought they could run the show for another 5 years if they had a young kid in it. He said that's what the network wanted. The producers wanted to end it on top. He said they ended up walking away from it after that.
Gary said he remembers Robbie so much that he could swear he did more than 6 episodes. He asked if he was really that musically talented. Robbie said he didn't sing on the Brady Bunch. He said he sang on some other shows. One of them was the Jerry Lewis telethon.
Jon said that they did the same thing they did with him on other shows. He said they would bring in young kids to try to save a show. Robbie said he was one of the most notable ones. Jon said it has nothing to do with his acting talent. He said that he was just the victim of circumstance. He said he was on a ton of other shows after that too. Jon asked if he wanted to do that. Robbie said he did. He said he was already doing art of different kinds. He said he was a ham and he was playing music so that's what he did.
Gary asked what else he was on. Robbie said just look at IMDB because he can't even remember. He said he was on a lot of movies and TV shows. Jon said he was also the voice of Michelangelo in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Robbie said that he would like to complain about them not having him on the show until now. He said they had Cory Feldman on for years. He said he's bitter now.
Robbie said he wrote the song for Sharknado. He said that he knows Benjy was in it and he forgets the point he was going to make about that.
Gary ran through a bunch of the shows that Robbie was on. He was on What's Happening. Robbie said he just did one episode. He said he got to work with a lot of TV royalty. He said he was on Love American Style with Bill Bixby. Gary said he was on a show called Bronk. That's Benjy's last name. He was also on the Revenge of the Nerds TV show playing Booger.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Robbie sounds a lot like Sam Kinison. The guys agreed. Robbie said it's a weird, freak accident. He said he gets that a lot.
Jon asked Robbie about the Sharknado movie and how he helped get the director to direct it. Robbie said he did tell him that he must direct it. He said he told him he had to put him in it too. He played the bus driver in the first Sharknado movie.
Robbie said that he thinks they should have zombie shark bite victims come back to live in the third movie. Benjy said he's up for that.
Jon took a call from Captain Janks who said he wanted to point out that Robbie did What's Happening with Dick Van Patten and the guy from Bewitched. He said that he was on a show called Big John Little John too and that was one of his favorite shows growing up.
Jon asked Robbie how Brady Bunch fans stand up to other fans. Robbie said they're really into it. Gary asked who the William Shatner of the Brady Bunch world is. Robbie said he's not sure. He said Barry Williams will be there and he's kind of the PT Barnum of the convention. Gary said he knows that Eve Plum is out there painting now and she doesn't seem to want anything to do with it.
Benjy asked if Robbie feels like he's not included at all. Robbie said not at all. Benjy asked if he's treated as nicely as everyone else. Robbie said he is for the most part. He said the rest of the cast gets along well.
Gary asked who is going to be there from the movies since there is the TV show and the movies. Robbie said that he wasn't sure so he asked someone who brought him in. They mentioned a couple of names.
Jon said you can find out more about this convention at BradyBunchConvention.com.
Benjy said that he read that the professor from Gilligan's Island was the husband of Carol Brady's who died in the show to let her go off and marry Mr. Brady. He said someone put that together somehow.
Jon asked Shuli to run through his Howard 100 News headlines. Shuli ran through a few of those and then the guys wrapped up and ended the show. Robbie got in a bunch of plugs for the shows he's in. He has a lot of things going on in his career. They were done around 11:05am.
Jon said Richard can keep a straight face when he wants to but he must have been on the verge of bursting out laughing with that. Richard said it can throw them off too and you don't want them to think you're goofing on them. He said sometimes he'll bite his tongue or lip. He said if he has some pain it'll keep him from laughing. Richard said it's the same on the street interviews. He said it's so hard not to laugh. Richard said that's why he thinks Sacha Baron Cohen can stay in character and not laugh.
Jon said when Sal starts going on a tirade or Ronnie does he tries to keep a straight face. He said everyone knows to never correct them. He said that it's very hard to do though. Richard said his instinct is to help Sal out but he knows enough to not correct him when he's on the air.
Richard said Jon is masterful with his poker face. He said he loves how he can keep it going and feed into it too. He said Jon is very charming or disarming and it's awesome. Jon said he can listen to Sal go for days. He said he finds him endlessly entertaining. He said he's also one of those guys who loves to hear himself talk. He said he just likes to talk and that's what makes him so interesting on the air. Richard said he paints a really funny picture with his stories too. He said that story he told about pissing Gene Simmons off was so great.
Jon said another thing that played today was the Beer Fest discussion with Richard. He said Richard mentioned he wanted to go to Belgium because they have good beer there. Richard said that's a big part of vacation for him. He said you have to make sure you're in a place where you like being there and you can find good food and drinks. Richard said they went to the Champagne religion of France and that was great. He said that's a big part of their vacation.
Jon said Richard also likes the haunted house thing. Jon asked if he likes to be sober for that. Richard said he can still get the full experience when he's sloshed. He said he likes Universal studios theme park around Halloween because you can get chased by guys with chain saws and stuff. He said when he dies he'd like to go there and stay forever. He said he likes Salem, Massachusetts too for that. He said they have great drinks up there and the Martinis are heavenly there. Richard said if he had to pick just one he'd pick Universal.
Jon asked if it's adults or kids there. Richard said it's a very adult thing and a lot go. He said they have one in Orlando and one in Hollywood and he's been going since 1996. He said this is his 18th year going. He said he goes every year and loves it.
Jon asked who the guys are that chase you. Richard said they are muscle bound guys. He said he loves the whole thing. He likes the smells and all of that. He said he's transporting himself there as he thinks about it.
Jon asked if he likes the rides too. Richard said he likes going through the haunted houses. He said it's just awesome. Jon said his favorite haunted houses are the ones where people pop out and scare you. He said it's better for him when that happens over the look of the place.
Richard said he went to a place when he was a kid. He said he was 10 at the time. Richard said they watched Evil Dead the movie first. He said that his uncle had hooks with meat hanging off of them. He said that he thought it looked so cool and it had a huge impact on him. Richard said they even did an animated thing where he talked about his love of fog machines. He said they had one and he thought it was so cool.
Jon asked if they had a fog machine when he was in the band during the 80s. Richard said they did and he inhaled all of that smoke over the years. Richard said they did one show where they had flames going up about 20 feet right behind his back. He said they had to rehears a couple of times with the full show so he knew when the flash pots were going to go off. He also had to make sure his hair didn't catch fire. He said that show was 3 hours long with one 15 minute intermission. Jon said that's very impressive. They went to break a short time later.
Jon asked if Sal wishes he could be Rocco. JD said Sal does. Jon said that would be Sal's religion. He said Sal is also into trailer park swinger porn. Jon said he knows what he means when Sal says it's the reality of the thing. He said that the people have flaws and it looks more real. He said it didn't sound like Sal just found one porn that he stumbled across. He said it sounds like he's got a regular viewing schedule. JD said that you can tell that it's one of those things he'll go back to. Jon said he claims it's for work of course. Richard said none of the clips have shown up on the show yet. Jon said that's a good point.
JD said Sal was complaining about the amount of porn they had back there but he did have plenty of lesbian porn. He said that Sal says he can't find that many good clips from that stuff.
Jon said JD had no interest in Adriana Chechik. JD said she had interest in him. Jon asked if this is because he's happily spoken for. JD said he can still appreciate a beautiful woman. Richard asked if he's going to watch her movies. JD said she's a beautiful girl but he doesn't know. JD said she's bangable but if he's looking at porn she's not one he'd go for immediately. He said he likes big asses. Jon asked if he's racially motivated at all. JD said he likes all types of women. He said that he likes a beautiful face, big boobs...
Richard said there used to be someone who took a lot of black women porn out of the office. He said that doesn't happen so much now.
Jon said Richard had the hard drives that had a ton of porn on them. Richard said they're in storage now. Jon asked if he cared about the plot or was he just about the action. Richard said it was all about the facial. He said that's the only part that he cared about. He said Peter North is the man. He said they call him The Decorator.
Jon asked if he has to see the decorating going on. Richard said you don't want to dwell on it too long. He said you want to see the woman enjoying it. JD said you want to be sure it's coming from the guy too and not being sprayed from somewhere else. Richard said he's going to take these clips and make calls with them. Jon laughed.
Jon said that Adriana was talking about having sex with her foster dad. He asked if that's normal. JD said it's definitely strange. He said he's not judging though. He said he'd judge if she was under age. Jon asked if that would bother him and keep him from banging her. JD said no. Richard said it would for him. He said it's a little odd. He said everyone in the office was glued to their radio over that story.
Jon said she claimed to have made $7,200 in one night so why not do that. He said that's a lot of money to make in one night. Richard said he's not sure porn movies even make that much. He said that it's probably hard work doing that.
Jon asked Richard was his go to porn scene was. Richard said that's a tough one. He said some of the ones he watched in the 80s are his favorites. He said there was one called Total Reball that he liked. JD said he has one and there's a little bit of a story with it. JD said it's an Asian porno and the penis is pixeled out. Richard said that's no fun. JD said that the woman is a flight attendant and she keeps looking at the guy in the aisle. JD said she comes over to him and starts jacking him off a little bit. Then she blows him. He said the girl was just really hot and it's a go to for him. Jon asked what the other people on the plane were doing. JD said they were just sitting there.
Richard asked if that's a fantasy for JD. JD said if the flight attendant looks like her then he would. Richard said he's glad he didn't sit next to him on the flight to Comic-Con. They went to break a short time later.
Jon bought up the Baba Booey shout outs at the PGA games. JD said they can be a curse. He said that they're good for the show though. He said watching 8 hours of that stuff on a Saturday is tough. He said people on twitter will tell him about them. He said sometimes they won't tell him when they happen. JD said he has to sort of monitor golf when it's on. He said his girlfriend isn't really a fan of it. He said they have to spend a fun Saturday watching golf. Richard said they can go to a bar and watch. JD said that you can't hear at a bar. Richard said they can ask them to turn it up.
Jon said that if you can help JD out then you can contact him on Twitter with the time it happened and with which golfer. Richard asked if they can do that with the services that do the coverage of the TV shows. JD said they go by the closed captioning. He said they don't get all of the Baba Booeys.
Jon asked if JD's girl hangs out with him when he's watching golf. JD said she will read or whatever while he's watching. Jon asked if the Baba Booeys will continue. JD said he doesn't see them stopping any time soon. JD said as long as Keegan Bradley is on the tour then they'll keep happening.
Jon said they were talking about Sharknado 2. Richard said he loves Benjy's part in it. He said he loves that they left in his line ''He has seen what you has done.'' He said he'd love it if he came back in the third one. Jon asked if Richard would appear in the third one. Richard said if it paid he would. JD said he's not a huge fan of it. He said he probably wouldn't do it. Richard asked if he would direct a scene. JD said he doesn't know. He said he knows that he's getting down to Eric the Actor level but he won't do that.
Jon asked JD if he would cast Benjy in something like that. JD said he thinks Benjy was really good in it. He said he would hire him. Richard said he thinks they'll want him in part 3 because they know he'll talk about it.
Jon said Richard also talked about the movie ''Last Days Here.'' Richard said he's friends with the guy Pellet in the movie. He said that he saw it when it came out because he's known about Pentagram since the 80s. He said he thought it was cool they were making a documentary about them. He said it was so cool when Howard said he watched it. Jon said about 90 percent of documentaries he finds fascinating. Richard said there's one about the guy they have in Journey now. Jon said he saw it too and it was fascinating. Jon said the story was too good to be true. That one is called ''Don't Stop Believin': Everyman's Journey.'' Richard said you can watch that guy's old videos and it's awesome. He said he sings a Stryper song too and it's great. Jon said you should see the documentary if you haven't seen it.
Jon said there's a great Rush documentary and people think that he just says that because he's a Rush fan but he really thinks it's a great documentary.
JD said he loves ''Some Kind of Monster'' and there's one called Dig. He said that is a really good one to check out. Richard said the movie King of Kong is another great one to check out. That one is about video games. Jon said that one really is the best. Richard said American Movie is another great one. He said that one is from 1999.
Jon wrapped up the show after that. They got in their plugs and ended the show around 10:45am.