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Howard started the show talking about how he's been doing this so long he wonders if there's ever a day when he won't do it anymore. He said it's like it's part of his DNA.
Howard said there's a lot to talk about today. He said High Pitch Eric is stopping by today to give them an update on his life. Howard said he hears he's very depressed. Robin asked what finally depressed him. Howard said he's not sure but he's very interested in hearing about it. Howard said they learned the other day that Joey Boots lives in the same building as Eric. He said he's not sure who is doing better there. Howard said there are times when you walk down a hallway and hear people playing instruments. He said he imagines hearing Joey Boots practicing his ''Baba Booey! Howard Stern's Penis!'' yells and Eric clearing his throat of phlegm. He said it would make a great reality show. He said he has to ask where this building is. He said he bets there is no credit check to live there. He said the security deposit must be like 50 cents.
Howard said Eric sees Joey in the building and Joey recorded this conversation. He said that Eric talks about what he'd like to do. Howard played the clip and Eric was talking about how he wanted to be a fireman and wanted to drive the fire truck. Eric doesn't know how to drive but he'd like to learn. Eric wanted to climb the ladder but Joey pointed out that it might not be able to take his weight. Howard said if Eric shows up to help you know you're going to die.
Howard said there's some big news. He played a Howard 100 News clip where Elisa Jordana was talking about how Benjy moved out about a month ago. She was talking about how they were yelling at each other a lot. Elisa was talking about how she's tired of it all. Howard said she was talking about their breakup.
Howard asked if they really broke up. Benjy said they didn't break up. He said they got into an argument on Thursday night and she asked him to break up but he refused. He said she's not broken up. Howard asked if they're still living together. Benjy said they are. He said he has had a different place as an office and he's been spending more time there. Robin said she just said they were apart for a month. Benjy said no and that they see each other every day. Howard asked if they're still sexual. Benjy said it's not as much lately. Benjy said that she may disagree but they're still a couple. Howard said it sounds very stalker like. Benjy said that they don't break up unless the man says so. Robin was trying to get more but Howard said she's going down a road that's not good.
Howard said this is the worst time she could choose to break up with him. Howard said Sharknado 2 is coming out. Howard said that there's a big premiere for the movie. Benjy said that he's not sure if it's open to the public or not but it's on the 30th. Howard said that there's a lot of news. He said Benjy is in that movie and Ronnie is in a movie and he's going to the premiere tonight so he can't drive him today. Howard said that Ronnie is in a movie with John Stamos and Michael Rappaport. Howard said that the movie is called ''My Man is a Loser.'' Howard said he's trying to get Ronnie's autograph but it's hard.
Howard said he's not sure why the guy was so angry. He said Garver ran into James Garner again and James didn't like him that time either. Garver asked James a few questions and then asked if he has solid bowel movements. Then James told him to tell that Howard Stern he can kiss his butt.
Howard said then James Garner went on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno and all of that came up. Howard said Leno's writers all listened to the show and they got Jay to talk to Garner about that. Jay asked James what he thinks of Howard Stern and Garner said he's the epitome of trailer trash. Garner said he wants to slap him in the mouth and tell him to sit down and shut up.
Robin said he never even saw Howard. Robin said maybe he confused Howard for Gary Garver. Howard said he was an older man so that could be. Howard said Jay would bring that up another time too. Howard said he asked him if anyone in radio or TV annoyed him in another interview. Howard played that clip and Jay was trying to get him to talk about that. Garner forgot he was supposed to talk about that so Jay had to push him toward Howard Stern.
Howard said that's so silly. He said Garner would have had nothing to say if Jay didn't push him that way. Howard did an impression of Jay talking to Garner and how that was going nowhere until he brought up his name.
Howard said jay might as well have just said ''Talk about Howard Stern, talk about Howard Stern!''
Howard said he's sorry to see James Garner go. He said if someone asks you a dumb question just take it light heatedly. He said it's not that big of a deal. He said if you're on a red carpet you must be doing pretty well. He said there's no reason to get upset about it.
Howard said he has a bunch of other things to play too. He said the guy who rolls up the red carpet at the end of the night is the guy who should be upset.
Howard said Zach Braff is coming in today too. He said he's promoting the movie that he made thanks to Kickstarter. Howard said he told him to come on in to promote it. Robin said he announced the Kickstarter thing on there so he should come in to promote it there too.
Howard said the big news was that the anchor was getting a hard time over the whole thing. Howard said that Bill O'Reilly was debating Bernie Goldberg over that. Howard played a clip of Bill talking about how she obviously didn't hear what the man said. Bernie said that he's out of his mind. He said even the anchor woman doesn't pay attention to her own interview. Bill was saying that the person who booked the guest should be fired. He said the anchor should be fired too. Bernie said that the anchor makes Ron Burgundy look like Walter Kronkite and she should be fired.
Howard said the anchor's name is Krystal Ball. Howard said Janks wrote them a note and he said he can't call in this morning but he sent a note letting them know how he got through. Howard said Janks was grilled about this story by some colonel and Janks was in the military so he was able to muddle his way through it. Howard said they even asked him what type of missile it was that shot down the plane. He said he gave the colonel a model number of a pistol and the guy bought it hook, line and sinker. Howard said Janks says the colonel he was on the phone with told him he really knew his shit. Howard said the screening process obviously doesn't work.
Robin said she feels bad for the anchor. Howard said the only people he feels sorry for are the people who were in that plane. Howard said High Pitch Eric is there so he's going to take a break and get to him.
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Howard said that High Pitch Eric is fatter than ever. He said he called them and wanted to come in and give an update on his life. He now walks with a cane. Howard played a song parody as he was walking in. Howard said that some people think he's using the cane for sympathy. He's 43 years old and walking with a cane. Eric said he lost some weight. He said he went from 271 to 261. Howard said he bets it's more than that. Howard said he should weigh him.
Howard asked why he's on a cane. Eric said he has a herniated, displaced disk. Howard said he does not. Howard said it has to be from the weight.
Howard said he heard Eric went to a ''pre-dinner'' the other night. Eric said he and Joey went to IHOP for dinner. He said he had pancakes, three stacks, and some sunny side up eggs, 4 sausages and iced tea. Robin said it should be like a bartender where they have to tell you when to stop eating. Eric said he had to go to the emergency room too. He said his thumb was infected. Eric said they had to drain a lot of puss out. Eric said the food was more important. Howard asked if he ever thought of not eating 3 stacks of pancakes. Eric said one stack is 3 pancakes. He said he only had one stack. Howard said he thought it was 3 stacks. Eric said it was just one. Howard said maybe he could have just had one pancake. Eric said no. Howard said they just tweeted out a picture of him eating those pancakes.
Howard asked Eric about why he keeps talking about suicide. Eric said he cut his arm a few weeks ago. He said he cut it because of his depression. Eric said his mom's anniversary just passed. He said he's been depressed. Howard asked how he's going to be a fireman if he can't walk. Eric said he doesn't know. Howard asked if he's really thinking of killing himself. Eric said he's on medication so he doesn't think he will. He rattled off like 4 meds that he's on. Eric said he fell asleep in the middle of the street one day. He said his mind just blacked out. Howard said that's because he's on so many medications. Eric said he knows. Robin asked if he feels better on the medications. Eric said he doesn't know. He said he just feels like he's out of it.
Howard asked Eric if he has family to help. Eric said he doesn't know. Robin asked if he's working. Eric said he can't because of his back. Howard said he knows he could fix himself if he lost some weight. Eric said he knows he has to lose weight and he's trying. Howard said he has to just cut back on how much he eats. He said he could eat just one pancake instead of 3. He said he has to put some energy into his health.
Eric said he went for an epidural and it's like anesthesia. He said he had to take Propofol and he went home and he was so out of it. He said he went to sleep and he thought he saw a tiger in his fucking window. He said the second time it happened he was sleeping and his neighbor heard him screaming. He said the police came to his door and he told them that he saw a tiger in his sleep.
Howard asked if he has any friends he hangs out with. Eric said he lives in the same building as Joey Boots. He said they make buddy videos together. Howard asked if he fits in pretty well there. Eric said they fit in pretty well there. Howard said just imagine that building. Howard asked what the security deposit is there. Eric said he's not sure but it's not $50 like Howard is saying. Howard asked if it's some kind of welfare building. Eric said it's a regular building in the Bronx.
Howard said Eric was at the Birthday Bash and he claims that Tan Mom was all over him. Eric said she was all over his legs straddling him. Howard asked why he didn't go with her. Eric said if she wasn't drunk it would have been a different story. Eric said he would have went with her if she wasn't drunk.
Howard asked when Eric last had sex. Eric said it's been years. Howard asked if he could get it up for Tan Mom. Eric said he could. Howard asked if he gets a boner in the morning. Eric said he does. Howard asked if he still jerks off. Eric said no. He said he just doesn't do it. He said he's not in that kind of mood anymore. Howard said that must be from the medication.
Howard said that's some update they got. Howard said they're all in shock now. Howard said Eric was willing to finger Benjy for them. Eric said he would have done that for the show. Howard said that was an interesting idea for him. He asked if he would have worn a glove. Eric said he would have and he would have used one or two fingers. Howard said he would have had to have kissed him too. Eric said he did that on terrestrial radio once. Benjy said he did kiss him on the lips. He said it was horrible. Benjy said they had a Jewish rapper who wanted to come on the show and he agreed to kiss Eric to get him on.
Benjy suggested that they do a weight loss thing with Eric and threaten to finger him if he doesn't lose weight. Eric said he didn't want to be fingered. Howard said they could give him a couple of weeks. Eric said that he doesn't want that. He eventually gave in and said he could lose 10 pounds by September. Howard said they should just weigh him and not do that.
Howard said he wants to find out if he's really 261 pounds. Howard said they'll take an hour to weigh him in over there. Eric got up and Howard said he has to weigh more than 261. Howard asked Fred. Fred said he thinks 270 at the least. He got on the scale and Will said he's at 360. Eric said that's what he meant to say earlier. Eric said he's down a pound. Howard laughed. Eric said he's down another pound. Howard said ''good for you.''
Eric said he made the mistake earlier about the 260. He said he meant 360. Eric said 2 weeks ago he was 361 pounds. Howard said Fred was way off. Howard said he's 360 pounds. He was shocked. Eric said that's better than 370. Howard said he's right about that.
Howard asked if he has anything else to give them an update about. Eric said he has a nurse there with him. Will said she's not a nurse, she's just a fan. Howard said he's not bringing her in. Eric said he needs someone to help him walk around. Robin said she can't help him walk around.
Howard thanked Eric for coming in. He asked if he's trying to bang this girl. Eric said he's not. Howard said he's really draining him. He said it's hard to talk to him with all of this going on. He said he hasn't heard anything positive today. Eric said he hasn't had gout in a while. He said he's on medication for that.
Howard said he heard Eric wanted to start a dog walking business but he has trouble walking. He asked how he could have that business. Eric said that was a year ago. Howard said he could walk back then. Eric said he could. Howard said not one person was willing to sign on with him. Eric said not one. He said he doesn't even have his dog anymore because they took his pets away from him.
Eric asked if he had a song parody for him. Howard actually did have one. He said just about everyone on the show has a theme song. Howard said the guys who do the song parodies are doing them for everyone. Howard was about to let Eric go after that. He told him not to harm himself. Howard asked if he posted on Facebook that he was going to kill himself. Eric said he did. He said he was feeling sad about his mom and stuff and he did that. He said that's when he cut his arm. Eric showed the cut on his arm. Howard asked if that was when he was thinking suicidal. Eric said he did that on Mother's day. He said he sees a therapist and a psychiatrist. Howard asked Robin if she can imagine that job. Howard asked what they talk about. Eric said they talk about how he's feeling and he fills his prescription. Howard asked if he ever cries there. Eric said no. Howard asked if the doctors cry. Eric said he doesn't think so.
Eric said he's been feeling like this for about a year now. Howard said he hopes he can get over it. Robin asked if he ever talks about being on the show. Eric said he never does. He talks about his mother and father. He said he's not on good terms with his father. He said his father tells him to pull himself together and he just can't.
Robin asked where Eric sat at the IHOP. Eric said they sat in a booth. Howard asked if chairs ever break under him. Eric said no. They asked if he can fly on a plane. Eric said he can but he asks for a double belt. Howard let Eric go after that.
Tommy said he wanted to talk about James Garner and how he wanted to slap Howard in the face. He said he was a big guy. Tommy also said that the Captain Janks call was played on a show with Howie Kurtz called Media Buzz. Howard said that show is very odd. He said that he does the show with a woman who he thinks Howie is doing. Howard said at the end of the show they evaluate the call. Howard said the whole thing is very odd. JD came in and said that the girl is rumored to be his girlfriend. He said he's not sure it is.
Howard let Tommy go and played him out with his theme song. Howard said the Media Buzz show gets very confusing. He said they were actually evaluating the interview with Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie. Howard said the guy gave the interview an 8 and the woman gave it a 5. Howard said he's not sure how they judge it. Howard went to break after that.
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Howard said Zach went to acting camp. Zach said he went to that and he knew that was for him. He said a lot of the boys already knew they were gay and he ended up being the guy who all the girls liked. He said then he went home and he was the douche who couldn't hit a ball. He said his dad wanted him to be in sports but he's always been supportive of him. He said he is a giant Mets fan. He said he can't last more than half a minute watching a game though. Zach said he's sure they were prepared for him to tell them he was into cock.
Howard said the play was nominated for like 6 Tony Awards. Zach said he wasn't nominated personally. Howard said the guys there thought he was. Zach said Neil Patrick Harris was and he won. He said people really love him so much. Howard said that whole world is screwy. Howard said Zach got good reviews. Zach said they have 1700 seats and that's hard to keep up.
Howard asked how many songs he sings. Zach said he sings about 8 songs. He said it's all very funny. He said the songs are funny and they're filed with sexual innuendo. Zach said that he got to work with Woody and he directed him on some things. He said he screwed up and left out a joke one time. He said Woody told him he'd probably get better laughs if he said it on stage.
Howard said he saw Woody in ''Play it Again Sam'' when he was younger and he went with his parents. Howard asked Zach about how they work out jokes and things. Zach said they'd go through them and see how they work. He said that Woody would change them from night to night. Zach said they had a dog that came out and gave a bow. He said one night Woody was talking about how he has a short tolerance for cute and he wanted to get rid of that dog.
Zach told Howard about how Woody doesn't like to address a big crowd but that's what you have to do with a play like that. Zach said Woody looks like he's hating it in the room when he's working with him. He said that he thought Woody hated his stuff but then he told him he'd be seeing him soon when he was done. Howard said maybe he was just deep in thought. Zach said he looks at though someone is sticking pins in him as he's doing his thing.
Howard said he can't imagine what it's like to be in that room with him doing his material. Zach said he had to look anywhere but at Woody. He said he never looks at the house either. He said he can only see the two front rows but if he sees anyone dozing off or yawning then he's out of it. He said he's in his head thinking it's boring the whole show. He said he had a woman fall asleep in the front row one night. He said that's so distracting. He said he was trying to wake her up the whole show. He said at intermission he sent her a Red Bull and said it's very hard to do the show with her sleeping there. Zach said the family propped her up hoping that she'd look like she was awake but she fell right back asleep.
Howard asked if he hangs with Woody socially. Zach said no. He said he got a really kind letter from him though. He said he's going to frame it. Zach said he and his girlfriend Taylor broke up but they were dating at the time. He said he got an email thinking that he got one from Woody. He said Woody said he enjoyed meeting his girlfriend and he was asking for her information so he could get to know her better. Zach said he had a mini panic attack over it. It turned out it was an assistant and not Woody himself.
Howard said Zach loves Woody Allen. He asked if he ever thought of giving his girlfriend to him. Zach said he couldn't do that. He said he had to draw the line at that.
Howard asked if he has a show today. Zach said he has Monday off. He said he didn't know that they were going to release ''Wish I Was Here'' when he was doing the play. He said that he didn't know he was going to be doing all of this stuff at the same time. He said he has to do 8 shows a week and then on Monday he has to fly around to do special screenings for the movie. He said he has to do those because he agreed to do the Kickstarter screenings. Howard asked if it's worth it. He said he promised people he'd come to their city. Zach said he made promises to 47,000 people. He said he has to go around the world for them too.
Howard asked if it's worth doing the Kickstarter thing. Zach said it's very hard to do. He said he had 26 days to shoot the movie and then you have to follow through with everyone who donated. He said you have to buy t-shirts, print them out and then ship them. He said people will contact you and ask about the size of the shirt and things like that. He said he's micro managing the whole thing and it's insane.
Howard said he saw the movie and Kate Hudson and Mandy Patinkin are in it and they're great. Howard said that they're some really good gets. Zach said they loved the script.
Howard said he's out doing the show and promoting the movie. Zach said did anything he could to get the money for this movie. He said he has to do so many things and he's doing voicemails and things like that for people. Zach said he worries about getting sick. He said he has seen Howard out at dinner and he has hand sanitizer with him right there at the table. Zach said he had to start doing that himself. He said he actually holds his breath as he walks by people on the street.
Howard said he read that you get sick from shaking hands but you also get germs from elevator buttons and things like that. He said he won't touch those things. Howard said there is science behind these neurosis. Zach said if he hears someone cough when he's out on his bike he'll hold his breath for a block.
Howard asked why he's riding a bike around the city. Zach said he wears a helmet but he likes riding around. He said it's a great way to get around the city.
Howard said Captain Janks came out of the closet and said he's attracted to Zach. Zach said he heard that and he loves it. He said that he'd put his fingers in him if he has to. Howard asked if he would ever do a Kickstarter movie again. Zach said he would not. He said he really appreciates the 47,000 fans who donated though. He said that he will never forget them. Zach said that Howard's fans were great too and he has to thank then for donating. Zach said that it was a giant boost for them when he was on the show. He said Seth Rogen was talking about the Kickstarter thing and he thought he could get a movie made. Zach said he wanted to do this small movie and he wanted to do it in a personal way and he couldn't get anyone to buy it. He said he had to fight for it and he had to do it with Kickstarter. He said he put in a lot of his own money to make it. He said he did the Kickstarter thing but the budget was much bigger than what they got there. He said the budget was $5.5 million. He said it was so much work though. He said that it ended up working.
Howard said he thinks a lot of people are trying to do the Kickstarter thing. Zach said Lavar Burton wanted to bring reading Rainbow back and it worked. He said he did one of the biggest fund raisers ever on there.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she was one of the first backers on Kickstarter. She said that she feels like the $200 she gave was like 18 months of emails. She said that she got the right size t-shirts too. Zach said that the 47,000 people who gave were having a great time. He created a whole web portal to see what was going on with the casting and things like that. He said the people loved it. He said he was dealing with that and then he was dealing with the people who didn't get it on the web.
Howard said if someone wants to give to it then it's fine. He said he doesn't get why people would be upset about it. Howard said he doesn't see anything wrong with it. Zach said Howard came to an early screening and seemed to like it. Howard said he really did.
Zach said he got to back a bike light on Kickstarter and he loved watching the process there. He said he wanted to do the same thing for the movie making thing.
Howard took a call from a guy, Zack, who said he thought Scrubs was horrible and no one cares about this guy. He asked when he's going on his date with Nicole Bass. Howard said they just had him in there a few days ago. Howard said that kind of brings your head right down.
Zach said Howard stopped reading his Twitter stuff because people write the harshest shit. Zach said he gets that too. He said that Jimmy Kimmel does those mean tweets things on his show. Zach said someone told him that he is the JarJar Binks of everything he's ever been in. He said that the irony is that he has 1.43 million people telling him that they love him but he looks for that one person who says they hate you. Howard said he would do the same thing. He said it was horrible. Zach said he has a friend who had to stop saying all negative things on Twitter because people would go off on her for anything negative she said.
Howard asked if he dated Taylor Swift. Zach said he did not. He said he knows her but he didn't date her. He said he went out with Mandy Moore and that wasn't a good experience. He said if you date someone like that then the Paparazzi will follow you around. He said if you're not dating them then no one follows you. He said he was told not to date famous people and the tabloids won't bother you. Zach said he's friends with Harry Stiles from One Direction and that guy can't walk 2 feet without someone following him. He said that he wouldn't want to live that way.
Howard said he wants to come see the Broadway show. Zach said he never even thought Howard would come to see his movie but he really wanted to thank him for coming out to see it. Zach said all of his friends were really psyched that he was there. Howard said you can find out more about Zach's movie ''Wish I Was Here'' at WishIWasHereMovie.com
Zach asked Fred to play him out with the Beetlejuice song ''Bad as Can''. Fred looked for that and Howard asked what Zach is going to do next. Zach said he has to cast Howard in something. He said he has to work on that. Howard said he wants to play a villain. Zach said people tell him whenever he's on the show that he should tell Howard to make another movie. Robin asked how long he worked on ''Wish I Was Here''. Zach said it was about 2 years that they worked on it total. He said he only had Mandy Patinkin for 4 days. Howard wrapped up and had Fred play him out with Beet's song. They went to break after that.
Howard said the doctor tells him he has a slightly enlarged prostate so that's what's doing it. He said he's not fucking with that thing. Fred said he occasionally has that but not all the time. He said it's once in a blue moon. Howard asked how old he is. Fred said he's 59. He said he urinates more frequently than he'd like and he thinks that's due to the enlarged prostate.
Howard said this Casey Kasem case is something else. He said he's so interesting. Howard said maybe he's just interested because he gets updates. Howard said the guy had an amazing career. He said he was barely a radio guy. He said he'd go in and voice over the top 40 countdown. Howard said the guy had a reality show in him. He said he still does if the family would just do it.
Howard said Casey's body is missing. Howard said the kids and the wife had a custody battle over him and now the body is missing. Howard said they said that the body is missing now. Robin said he was missing before death and now after death. Howard said one theory is that the wife took the body out of the country to make sure that they couldn't do an autopsy to implicate her in his death. Howard said before he died the wife took him out on a cross country drive. Howard said that they're saying that she may have taken the body to Canada.
Howard said Johnny Winter died at 70. He said that he and Fred saw Johnny Winter play once. He said they were at WCCC at the time and they were at The Shabu and went to see him play there. Howard said the guy was so white. He said he had long white hair and no eye lashes and stuff. He said he was dressed like a hipster at the time. Howard said he doesn't remember much about his career but he does remember that. Howard said he thinks the guy was wearing a Mexican hat like one of those Flamenco dancer hats. He said he had tight pants that looked velvet on too. Howard said the guy looked too white even for an albino. Howard said both he and his brother were albino. He said that his brother Edgar was the other one.
Howard said that Johnny Winter's biggest hit was ''- Rock & Roll Hoochie Koo''. Gary thought that was someone else. Howard said that Johnny did it first. Howard said that he put out like 4 blues albums and no one gave a shit. Then that song came out and that was the big thing. Howard said some people thought he was a sell out. Fred played Johnny Winter's version of the song.
Robin read about some of his other hits. Howard asked to hear his version of ''Jumpin' Jack Flash''. Fred played that. Howard said he was a great guitarist. Fred said he really was.
Howard said Johnny is dead at 70. Fred said Edgar is still around. Howard said he wonders if they were friends.
Robin said he was at Woodstock. Howard said he wasn't in the movie though. Howard said Leslie West talks about how his manager didn't think they should be in the movie Woodstock because they weren't going to get paid for it. Howard said that was a huge mistake. He said he bets there's a lot of material that they left out of that movie like Johnny Winter.
Howard said Jon had a big scare about 2 weekends ago. Howard said he never emails him but he emailed him that weekend. Jon said he got the email on a Friday night and he was feeling so horrible that night that he didn't get it until the next morning. Howard said 2 weeks ago Jon went out to dinner and had some seafood. Jon said it was a lobster cobb salad. Howard said Jon got sick to his stomach and he was throwing up. Jon said he was throwing up and had diarrhea. He said he didn't feel like his normal energetic self. Jon said he at that night and then he wasn't able to sleep at all Friday. He said he got up Saturday and still didn't feel so good. He said he was at the Jersey shore on Saturday. He said he had dinner on Saturday and he wasn't able to sleep again Saturday night.
Jon said he woke up Sunday and he called the doctor because he still wasn't feeling so well. He said that they thought it might be constipation. He said they treated him for stomach issues for about an hour. Then a nurse came in about an hour later and said he had some kind of MI event. That's a heart attack. Jon said he didn't know what that meant. They put an EKG on him and they did that and the next thing he knew they were announcing they had a cardiac code in the emergency room. They started ripping his clothes off and he was crying and asking if he was going to die. Jon started to cry as he was talking about it.
Jon said they were calling him Superman in the hospital. He said that they said he should have been dead. He said the nurses started calling him Superman because he's the strongest man they know. Jon said that the top cardiac guy at the hospital was there for another emergency. He said he put his hand on his head and said they were going to take care of him. He said he saved his life.
Jon said they took him to the operating room... He started to cry again. He said that they put a stent in through his groin and opened up his artery. He said it was 100 percent blocked. Jon said the thing was that his weight and cholesterol was fine. He said that because he's only 39 and in great shape that he survived for 2 days.
Jon said he feels so blessed now. He said he feels so strong and so blessed. He didn't think he'd be there today. He said he's back to work in a week because they were able to save him. He said there is no damage to his heart according to the doctors. Robin said that's amazing. She said that's almost impossible. Jon said that's why the nurses were calling him Superman. Robin said that a heart attack is a complete shutdown of the heart. Robin said that artery usually dies when it doesn't get circulation. Howard asked if this was brought on by Lisa G in the office. Jon said it can be brought on by stress.
Howard asked Jon if he's trying to back off on what he's doing now that this has happened. Jon said he had been working out and he was feeling great. He said that for two weeks he has to take it easy and not push himself. He said he was at his son's baseball game over the weekend and he had to stay calm and not get worked up. Howard said Jon is the one who gets up and dances at parties. Jon said he has to stay calm for 2 weeks. He said he can't have sex for 2 weeks.
Jon said you have to value every moment on this earth. He said he didn't think he was going to make it. He said he feels unstoppable now. He said he feels like he's been given a new lease on life.
Howard asked who the doctor was. Jon said this guy came in every 6 hours to see him when he was there. He said his name was Dr. Shri Iyer. He said this guy travels around the world and he saved his life. He said between him and his girlfriend they saved him. He said that they don't put you under when they do the Stent. He said that he watched it on a HD screen in the operating room. He said that you don't know exactly what's going on but it's surreal. Jon said you start wondering if you're going to make it out of there.
Howard asked what it's like to talk to Fred on the phone. Jon said he called Fred and left him a message and he called back and eventually got to talk to him for like 25 minutes.
Jon said everyone in his life has been great. Jon said that he didn't want to talk about it at first but now they give him a clean bill of health. He said they say he could live 50-60 more years. Howard said they should do a push up contest right now.
Howard asked if he told his son about this. Jon said he didn't want his 7 year old to see him like that. He said that they sat him down and told him and he's very smart so he got it.
Howard asked who didn't reach out. Robin said she's just hearing about it right now. She had no idea. She asked why no one told her. Jon said he didn't tell anyone because he saw it as looking weak. He said he didn't want people thinking that. Jon said he has had a couple of close calls in his life and he's very lucky. He said he feels like he's used up about 4 of his 9 lives. He said he should have 5 left. Howard said he could go out and get hit by a car today. He told him to be careful.
Howard said that it's very interesting and he actually replaced Jon with someone else. He said they're going to fire him right now. Howard said it's not his fault. Robin asked why he didn't tell her. Howard said he was told and he was told that the only people who knew was him and two other people. He said Jon didn't want anyone to know. Gary said he, Jeremy and Howard were the only ones who were told. No one was sure how Fred found out. Howard said he was told not to speak about it. Robin said she's the only one who wasn't contacted. Howard told her to leave it to Fred.
Howard said he's going to move on to some other things now. He said he has the Elisa tape that he already played. Fred said some people may not know about that. Howard said Benjy claims they're not broken up.
Howard said Riley Martin had food poisoning again last week. Howard said he was listening to the show and he figured he had food poisoning again. Robin said that it sounded like Jon Leiberman had food poisoning too. Robin said maybe Riley should get checked out. Howard said Riley was so ill that he introduced someone named Briton or something like that three different times. Howard played a clip of Riley slurring his words and barely able to speak. Howard said he can't believe they gave this guy a radio show. Howard said this all makes sense to JD who sent him the clip.
Howard said he's fascinated with JD's girlfriend. Howard said the tabloids are scrambling for a picture. He said they all want to see her. Howard said he knows the Penny Saver had a guy staked out in front of JD's place over the weekend.
Howard asked JD what happened this weekend when the girlfriend visited. JD said it went fine. Howard said JD was on Wrap Up and said he loves this girl. Howard said he has to play more Riley clips first though. Howard got back to that and played more of Riley talking about this Briton person and slurring through his stories.
Howard played a clip of JD talking about his girlfriend on the Wrap Up Show last week. JD was asked if he was in a committed relationship. JD said that they had said they love each other.
Howard said he heard JD went out on Friday night and got drunk before the girl came out. JD said that some people were drunker than others.
Howard said he wants to see this girl. JD said he'll show him a picture. Howard said he'll take what he can get. Howard said he must be proud if he's willing to show a picture. Howard saw the picture and said he can't believe it. He said it looks like a kidnapping. Howard said he would have been impressed if she was just human. He said she's cute. Howard said the only thing they know about her is that she'll take JD out to experience different foods. Howard said he thinks that the girl is bringing JD out to figure out what ethnicity he is since she can't understand what he says.
Howard said JD has put on some weight. Howard said he shaved too and he looks better. He asked if she asked him to shave. JD said she likes his beard actually. He said he's usually lazy and won't shave.
Howard asked about the two of them saying they love each other. JD said they've said it a few times. Robin said that he has to remember when it happened. JD said he doesn't really. He asked if he can leave now. Howard asked if they stayed home the whole weekend. JD said they went out to a rooftop bar. He said he had some Coke or Jack and Coke. Howard asked if anyone recognized her out. JD said no one did this time but they have before.
Howard asked JD is drinking Jack Daniels because of Artie. JD said his dad used to drink it so he tried it. He said it's alright.
Howard asked if he was named after Jack Daniels. JD said he sort of was. He said he was going to be named Jack Daniels Harmeyer but his mom changed it to Jamie Daniel. Fred did his impression of JD sand said he was almost named Jim Beam Harmeyer or Jose Quervo. Robin said he could have been Jaegermeister Harmeyer.
Howard said it's crazy that JD is in love. Robin said he has to know when they said they love each other. Howard said he knows. He said he's just not saying. JD said he has been in love before. He said that they're people that they just don't know about.
Howard asked what awful movies he watched this weekend. JD said they watched 3 O'clock High and the Scarlett Johansson movie ''Under the Skin.'' He said he they watched a couple of movies. Howard said at JD's age he could fuck 3 or 4 times a day. Howard said he likes the way JD just makes noise when he asks him something. Howard said that JD is going to get honeymoon disease if he bangs her too much. He said he could wear her out. JD said he'll be careful. Howard said he has to make sure she hydrates herself. JD said she's plenty hydrated.
Howard asked if they discussed that this is coming up on the show. JD said she's willing to meet everyone there. He said he's not going to do it on the air. He said he's worried because of her occupation and things like that. Howard asked where he shits when she's around. JD said he closes the door of the bathroom and goes in there. He said he has air fresheners in there. Howard said she probably abstained from going. JD said he doesn't ask. Howard asked if he walks around in front of her naked. JD said they have. Howard said he shouldn't since he's let himself go. JD said he knows. Howard said he's obviously let himself go and doesn't care. Howard said his shits must be awful. JD said ''alright, enough.'' Howard said he has to be aware of that shit when he's dating a girl like that. Howard said he has to get himself in shape. He said she'll only put up with that belly for so long.
Robin said she has to know everything. Robin said she wonders what JD wrote to get her to pay attention. Howard said that he probably said if she doesn't visit he'd tell her family. Howard said she's hot enough that he shouldn't be confident that she'll stick with him. JD said he thinks that they have feelings for each other. Howard asked if she has nice tits. JD said they're fine. Howard asked who has bigger ones, her or him. JD said he's done. He left the studio.
Howard said he bets that even she knew about Jon Leiberman's heart attack. JD got on his microphone and told him that she actually did.
Howard got back to the Riley Martin audio clips and played another one where Riley was talking to Eron about NASA saying that we'd find alien life in the next 20 years. Riley said we have already reached out to them and NASA knows all about it. He said they will reveal themselves shortly.
Howard asked Robin if she's got it. Robin said if Riley could get over his food poisoning he'd be the greatest broadcaster of all time.
Howard played another clip where Riley started coughing as he was answering a caller's question. Then JD came back and told Howard that Riley talks about how Aliens took the Malaysian airlines flight that disappeared. He also had a clip of Riley trying to get something out but he was having trouble speaking. Howard wondered what Eron was doing during that. Howard said maybe he was asleep. Then Riley's phone rang. Howard said he thought they gave JD a show with all of that mumbling going on.
Howard took a call from Joey Boots who said he did another Booey bomb. He said this time he yelled out that JD has a girlfriend. Howard asked if he had that one. JD told him where it is.
Joey said he's getting kind of bored with the Baba Booey and Howard Stern's Penis so he's trying to mix it up a bit. Howard said he won't tell him what to do but he thinks getting his name out there is good for business. Joey said he's bored with it though so he's going to mix it up. Howard said Baba Booey will stand the test of time. Joey said he will use that but he will only use Howard Stern's Penis once in a while.
Howard played the clip of Joey getting out the ''Baba Booey, Howard Stern's penis and JD's got a girlfriend!'' Howard asked how he knows where to go. Joey said there was a big stroke that was going to happen with MTA and he knew they were going to do the reports from Sharknado. Joey said that Benjy also interrupted a press conference there and plugged Sharknado. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go.
Howard got back to the Riley clips and played one where a caller asked Riley if he's being compensated fairly for what he's doing on the air. Riley said he's not being compensated fairly. Howard wrapped up with those clips and went to break a short time later.
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Howard asked Robin if she thinks that the boyfriend's mom is upset that Heidi took her son to a racy circus show. Robin said maybe she is.
Howard said he talks to Mel B about that stuff all the time. He said she's pretty open about it. Howard said he'll try doing that during the live judging shows. He said that way they can't edit it out.
Howard said he hears that Jay Z and Beyonce travel around with a therapist. Howard said that sounds like a cool gig.
Howard said there are a couple of guys sitting in. Howard said hello to them. They were twins and they're both doctors. Howard said he thought they were wealthy but they're from Canada where they have socialized medicine. They said they can probably do better up there than they can down in the States. One of the guys was a gynecologist. Howard said that he thought that would be a great job but he has a friend who does that and he says that all he sees is old pussy.
Howard asked if he's ever thrown up from the smell. The guy said that if a tampon has been stuck in there for a few weeks that can be pretty bad. He said that one woman had anal sex and the guy tore her vagina. He said that everyone was talking about how big he must have been. Howard said his puny penis could never do that.
Howard asked what kind of things he's found in a vagina. The guy said he's found condoms. He said it's surprising how many women forget they have tampons in. The guy said the smell just gets really bad down there and you have to wrap it up really good because the smell is so bad.
Howard asked what the deal is with squirting. Howard said he thinks it's disgusting. Howard asked if it's pee. The guy said there is a lot of debate about that. He said it's not clear.
Howard asked if there are women who start moaning when he's examining them. The guy said that doesn't really happen. Howard said he has super long fingers to fish out the condoms. The doctor said that you can't use your mouth. He said that's frowned upon.
Howard asked if women think a gynecologist knows what he's doing down there more than another guy. He said that is what they seem to think. Howard said he would study that just to make women think he knows about what's going on down there.
The guys were talking about how Nicole Bass would be willing to show Howard some of that. They spent a minute on that and then Howard thanked the guys for sitting in today. Howard said he saw that the John Varvatos thing was a rape thing. Howard said that he didn't know what was up with that.
Howard asked about the guy who broke the woman's asshole. He wondered if he used something other than his cock. The doctor said that was their story so they just went with it. Howard said maybe they can contact her and ask her to come on the show.
Howard said they have some doctors sitting in all the way from Canada. They helped the Stewart House charity.
Howard said the new Nordstrom catalog has models with disabilities in it. Howard said he feels really weird jerking off to it now. Howard said he feels more guilty.
Robin read about Roger Waters coming out against Israel. Howard said he's not sure what he doesn't get about that whole thing. Howard said Roger ruined Pink Floyd for him with that.
Robin read about Mayor De Blasio's son and how he's thinking of cutting off his afro. That led to Howard playing some bits they created about what Nicole Bass' wedding might sound like and a Wendy the Slow Adult going out on a date.
Howard had Nicole on the phone and asked how her date was going to go. Fred was answering for her. Howard asked Nicole if she's going to wax before the date. She said she shaves. Nicole said she's not going to let the gynecologist give her a PAP smear. Howard told her to call when the date happens. Nicole said that it's coming soon. Howard said Nicole was so in love with the guy that she was singing in the hallways. Howard played her singing ''You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman.''
Robin read about how Hillary Clinton is making serious money over the past 16 months since she left the state department. Robin said the money comes from speeches, her book and other events she attends. Howard said we have seen poor men go into the White House and come out wealthy. Howard said Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan came out rich and it's so outrageous. Howard said Nixon did too. Howard said the guy had a beautiful compound in San Clemente. Howard said he's not sure what they can do but these guys shouldn't be coming out rich.
Howard said his staff will be at the San Diego Comic-Con. He said they told him it's very important to be there. Howard went into a live commercial read and then went to break after that.
After the break, around 9:35am, Howard came right back and took a call from a guy who said on the first episode of AGT Mel was showing massive cleavage. He said her nipples looked all fucked up too. Howard said he thought she had nice boobs. Howard said he likes that she put them out for people to see. The caller said there was something off about her nipple though. Howard said he'll have to look into that. He said he'll have to ask her about that.
Robin read a story about kite boarding and asked if Howard has seen that. Howard said he has seen that. Robin read about a guy who was found dead after an apparent kite boarding accident. Robin said he was found floating in a harbor. Howard said he's sure it was worth it.
Robin read a story about a woman who was awarded $23 billion in a case against RJ Reynolds. Howard said he never understands how someone wins a lawsuit like that.
Howard read some email he got about JD. One person wrote in about JD and how they don't like the way he dresses. Howard said that this person agreed to take a finger in the ass if he agreed to never have JD on the air again. Howard said done person was really into JD being on the air. Howard said people either love or hate him.
Howard said he got some mail about Hanzi and some people were talking about how he makes them laugh. Howard read some email about Nicole Bass' interview last week.
Howard had Hanzi on the phone so he picked up on him. Howard asked what he had to say today. Hanzi said he didn't spend the money he got from them on weed. He said he still has a bunch of it left. Hanzi said he usually spends it all right away. Hanzi said he has like $1000. Howard said he should spend it on a suit for his job interview. Hanzi said he won't be doing that.
Howard said he has to get going. Hanzi freaked out. Howard said he should give that money to his parents who support him. Hanzi laughed and said that won't happen. Hanzi asked if he thinks that MSNBC let Janks through on purpose. Howard said he hired some CIA-holes to help Janks get through. Hanzi was talking about this woman from the show Banshee and how he wants to bang her. Howard asked Hanzi if he's ever asked his parents if they ever thought of an abortion. Hanzi said he has told them he shouldn't have been born. He said that there's so much evil on this planet and he wishes he was never born. He said he's the biggest piece of shit ever. Howard asked if he's the black elephant of the family. Hanzi said he is.
Hanzi said he got Ronnie a movie part but he can't get him one. Howard said he didn't get him that part. He said they heard Ronnie on the show and gave him the part. Howard asked Hanzi what part of himself he likes the most. Hanzi said he likes that he's honest. Howard asked what feature he likes most about himself. Hanzi said nothing. Howard asked if he has nice eyes or fingers. Hanzi said he has nice tits. Howard said he really has to go. He let Hanzi go and Fred played him out with an Imran Khan song parody.
Robin read a story about a bus that will be going around San Francisco giving them free showers. Robin said the bus cost about $75,000 to retrofit and it was paid for with donations.
Robin read a story about a man who was let off on a spanking case in court. Robin said they found it was a reasonable use of force after the father spanked the boy for using foul language. Robin said they say that using an open hand is okay but not using a belt or other item. Howard said he doesn't think any hitting of a kid is good. Robin said she was slapped around as a kid and that didn't teach her math. She said it didn't make her a better student. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about the Malaysian jet that was shot down last week. Robin said that they're saying we have to be more wary of Russia now than ever.
Robin had some audio of people talking about the Israel and Palestine conflict and what's going on with that.
Robin read more about the Malaysian airline crash and what's going on with the recovery of the bodies and wreckage. Robin said there are reports of the bodies being looted. Robin said that Vladimir Putin is vowing to make sure the Ukraine conflict is taken care of quickly. Robin said that here in the United States there are some senators talking about how we have to do something more against Russia. Howard said he's just wondering where Paris Hilton has been. He said she was so popular at one point and now we don't hear from her.
Robin read a story about pet medications and what people are being charged. Howard said he was talking to Gary about that this morning. He said the prices are ridiculous. Robin said that they want to make changes so Vet offices can't force people into buying the meds from them.
Robin read about James Garner's death and how he had already passed away by the time the ambulances got to his home. Robin and Howard spent a little time talking about what he was known best for like Maverick and his role as Jim Rockford in The Rockford Files. Robin had some audio of the theme songs for those two shows. Howard said that music says that TV used to suck.
Robin read about how President Obama is going to be giving an award to a soldier today.
Robin read a story about a guy whose wife is on the Real Housewives will be going to rehab and going to prison for up to 8 years. Robin said that he has to pay back people who he is accused of committing fraud on.
Robin said Sons of Anarchy is returning for its final season this year. Robin said that Malcolm Jamal Warner is going to be on this season. Howard said Marilyn Manson is going to be in it too. Robin said Courtney Love is going to be in it too.
Robin said Weird Al is saying that this new album of his could be his last. Howard asked why he would say such a thing. Howard said the song parody only lives with him. Howard said he hopes that's not the case and he has a change of heart. Howard ended the show a short time later. They were done around 10:10am.
Howard said he has so many theme songs for people. He said Gonzo Shitcock has one and so does Jim from Raleigh. He played some of Jim's theme and then said Tommy from Malden has one. He had Tommy on the phone so he picked up on him and played his theme song. Howard said Tommy actually has a second song. He played that one as well. Howard said those were from Matt Evans and Little Mikey.
After the break Howard came right back and said that Zach Braff was there with a Kickstarter campaign to make a movie and now the movie is made so he's there to talk about that. He's also in ''Bullets Over Broadway''. Zach said it's the hardest thing he's ever done. He said it's so tiring. He said he has bruises from falling. He said he's dancing and singing so he's all over the place. He said he has to jump and leap. Howard said he'd like to go to the show. Zach said he knows he won't go. Howard said he loves Woody Allen's work. He said he thinks he's a genius with that stuff. Zach said he'll laugh his ass off. Howard asked how long he's in it. Zach said he's there until September an then takes a break and then comes back to do it until December. Zach said he does 8 shows a week. He said they have a big ensemble cast but he's on stage most of the time. He said he was cast in it 2 years ago and he's been training and training for like 2 years. He said he had to train to do 8 shows a week.
After the break Howard came back and said he has to pee but he's too lazy to get up. Robin said he should wear a diaper. Howard said he just about does with the toilet paper he stuffs in there. He said he dribbles down there. He said that sometimes the tissues slip down to his asshole. He said he wraps up his penis like a mummy now. Howard said they have some Depends that you can put in there but they're a little too bulky for him. He said he's a mess.
Howard asked Robin if she heard what happened to Jon Leiberman. Robin said she hadn't heard that. Howard asked if she knows how old he is. Robin said he's like 40. Howard said Jon is 39. Howard said Jon has his own show at 4:45pm every day.
Howard said he has some good news. He said the Birthday Bash video will be available through Labor Day. Howard said after that they're going to lock it in the vault.
After the break Howard came right back and said that America's Got Talent is back on with new episodes this week. He said this week is ''Judgment Week.'' He said they have it on Tuesday and Wednesday and it'll be like that the rest of the summer. Howard said he's not sure how he'll stay up from 9 to 11. He said he'll be reunited with Howie, Mel B and Heidi. Howard said he heard Mel B was making out with a girl in a bathroom while her husband was guarding the door. Howard said he heard that Heidi was out with her boyfriend and took him to the circus. Howard said he heard they were making out at the circus. Howard said he heard she made out with him on the swing set in Central Park after that.
Howard had Fred play Robin into her news with a song parody. Howard said that the gynecologist was dancing along to the song since it was about Robin's tight vagina.
Jon said he wanted to start off talking about Jon Leiberman. He said whenever something like that happens to you then you see the person making changes because he's feeling lucky to be alive. Gary said it's very scary. He said he faced death and maybe not the way others do but at 39 years old you'd never imagine that being a possibility. He said he could have died if he waited a little longer. He said that makes you crazy. Jon said Leiberman had no idea it was coming.
Gary said he had his stress test 3 weeks ago and it was perfect so that means he could die at any second. He said you never know. Gary asked Jon how old he'd think Jon was if he didn't know. Jon said he would have figured he was in his 40s. Gary said it's the way he acts. He said he carries himself like an old news guy.
Jon asked why Robin was so upset about being out of the loop on that. Gary said she was very bothered that no one told her. He said that all last week people were finding out and they were talking about it. He said he wasn't supposed to talk about it so he didn't bring it up. Jon said it seemed that everyone reached out to him other than Robin.
Jon said that Leiberman was in there. He asked if he knew he was going to get emotional in there. Leiberman said he did. He wasn't sure he wanted to go into the studio because of that.
Gary asked who contacted him. Leiberman said that everyone in the back office did. He said that Scott the Engineer didn't but he came back to him earlier and told him that he was thinking about him and didn't want to bother him. Leiberman said that he felt so much love as a group so he didn't mind it if individuals didn't come to him. Leiberman said it wasn't like a staff wide email went out about it. He said the only people who truly knew were Gary, Jeremy, Jim, Marcie, Howard and Ronnie. He said Ronnie was one of the first to call. He said he's very thoughtful like that. Leiberman said that there was no reason for them to contact him in mass. He said he wasn't proud of the fact so he was trying to keep it quiet.
Jon asked why he was embarrassed by it. Leiberman said he was and he thinks it was because he was feeling like he was weak. He said he thought he was going to die. Leiberman said he turned to his girlfriend if he was going to die. She told him he was too strong to die. Leiberman said that's the message he took in with him into the operating room. He said the initial shock wore off and he started talking to people and they were telling him there was nothing to be ashamed of and he was looked at like a super hero so he shouldn't be ashamed at all. Jon said he's glad it happened now and not later on. He said he's 39 and strong and they think that's one reason he lived. He said he was on the beach in Avalon talking to heather's friends on Saturday afternoon and he was in the midst of a heart attack. He said it's amazing looking back on that now.
Gary asked Leiberman what he wants to do differently from now on. Leiberman said it's not about his diet. He said he doesn't have to lose weight or stop smoking because he doesn't smoke. He said the biggest challenge for him is handling stress. He said that's the number one thing he has to work on. Gary said he's wondering if there are things he wants to do more of in his life like spend time with his kids or call someone. Leiberman said he's not at that point yet. He said that he's wondering what he has to do to make sure he's there for years to come. Leiberman said he's not thinking about what he wants to do before he dies. Leiberman said he has to reduce stress in his life and one thing is that he's going to try TM and Yoga. He said there are certain things in his life he can deal with better. He said he has to have a better relationship with his ex. He said he sometimes does too much work wise. Leiberman said he loves his job and his show. He said that's one of the reasons the doctor said he could go back but he didn't have to. Leiberman said everyone there was telling him to take as much time as he needs. He said it makes him feel better or be there though. He said he feels more alive doing his thing.
Jon asked if he's sleeping better now. Leiberman said he is. He said the only side effect is that he's a little bit more tired than he was. He said the doctor seems to think he'll feel even stronger than he ever has before once he recovers fully.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he went through something similar a few years ago. He said he laughed when Robin was more concerned about not knowing about it than she was concerned with how he was. Leiberman said all he can say is that he got an amazingly kind note from Robin during the show. Gary said he has to defend Robin there. He said he thinks the thing is that she went through what she newt through with a life threatening illness and he thinks that she would have reached out to him if she did know. Gary said the other way of looking at it is the easy road to take.
Jon said the other crazy thing is that Leiberman was awaked during the stent surgery. Gary said he thinks he'd want to be awake. He said he'd rather not die in his sleep. Gary asked Leiberman about crying and screaming in the ER. Leiberman said he was screaming that he was too young to die. He said his girlfriend is a medical malpractice attorney and she knows that they can't say anything about how he'll be fine in the ER because they could get sued if he's not. Leiberman said he wanted to know if he was going to die and the doctor put his hand on his head and said they'd take good care of him. He said people were saying he was young and he'd be okay. Leiberman said that the 90 seconds being wheeled into the operating room was scary. He said you don't know if you're going to be okay. He said watching those monitors is surreal because you don't know what's really going on. He said it was soothing hearing the doctor's voice. He said all he kept doing was watching the clock. He said he was also talking to God or praying a little bit. He said he remembers praying and wrote it down after. He said he doesn't have it with him but he was grasping at whatever he could.
Leiberman said he was watching the clock because the doctor told him it might take a half hour to figure out if they can do anything inside there. He said he was glad he was still in there after the half hour. He said that meant that they must be doing something. He said he was still alive with his eyes open and about an hour and 10 minutes after he came up and put his hand on his shoulder saying he was going to be okay, we did it... or something like that. Leiberman said he thanked him for saving his life. Leiberman broke down crying as he was talking about that.
Leiberman said he was sorry. He said all he wanted to do was be able to see his son again. He said the doctor gave him a hug and he wasn't even supposed to be there that day. He said he was so lucky he was.
Gary said he's thinking that maybe he should take more days off for a mental thing. He said he may need a day or two more to just process things. Leiberman said it helps him to be there working. He said he gets emotional because he thought he had food poisoning. He said he's very grateful and happy about how it all happened.
Jon asked Leiberman if he was a religious guy before this and if that was a one way conversation. Leiberman said in the beginning he was trying to make deals with God. He said he would be a better listener and a better this and that. He said at some point he felt like it changed. He said he's not a religious fanatic. He said he got the feeling that this god didn't want to hear how he was going to change. He said he didn't want him making deals. He said it was like he hears that all the time.
Gary asked if he's going to go to church more now or what. Leiberman said he's going to do more reading about being spiritual. He said he really doesn't know. Leiberman said what happened that weekend was an extreme stroke of luck or some greater power did something.
Jon asked Leiberman about the other close calls he's had in his life. Leiberman said he's had a few near misses but nothing this close to death.
Ronnie came in and said that he thinks that Gary is wrong about taking days off for the emotional thing. He said his dad went through that. He said that Jon is going to have to go through the emotional stuff a lot. He said the more his dad sat around doing nothing the worse it got. He said Leiberman working is best for him. He said the emotional thing with heart patients is tough. He said his mother had open heart surgery and the emotional thing changed her completely. Gary said it's when you're faced with death. Ronnie said it's worse afterward than it was before. Gary said that's because you beat the system and you're still there. Jon said he had to take a break after that.
Jon said that it's like he's experiencing things that Howard does in his life. Ronnie said that's ridiculous. Gary said that Ronnie seems to be on a roll. Ronnie said he's thrilled. He said it's overwhelming at times. Jon asked what's overwhelming. Ronnie said it's just the fact that it's happening. Jon said that he's getting all kinds of appearances and things. Jon said that people there are very happy for him. Ronnie said he hopes no one is getting jealous of him there.
Jon asked if he's walking the red carpet. Ronnie said he is. He said John Stamos, Michael Rappaport and others will be walking the red carpet. He said Michael will be on the Wrap Up Show tomorrow. Ronnie said there will be other people from the movie on the red carpet. He said they have a party going on and things like that.
Gary said he thinks that Joe Callen is the other voice in that Joe Rogan weight lifter bit they played a lot on the show. Ronnie said Lisa G got a screening copy of the movie and she thought it was cool.
Jon said that Ronnie will be back at work tomorrow. Ronnie said it's just one night. He said he'll just have to leave the party a little early. Jon said he hopes he enjoys it. Ronnie said the movie is kind of like a Hangover romantic comedy kind of thing.
Jon asked JD how he thinks Ronnie did in it. JD said he heard the scene but he hasn't seen it. He said if you like Ronnie then you'll like this part of the movie.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves the show and he wanted to send some love to Jon Leiberman. He said they love him. Leiberman thanked him. The caller asked if he's going to reevaluate work relationships and things like that now. Leiberman said it has nothing to do with the people he works with. He said it's not about anything like that.
Jon brought up High Pitch Eric who was in today. Gary said he saw him about a month ago and he was using the cane. He told him to lose some weight. He said he told him that he lost like 6 pounds. He said he's at 360 pounds and he's really killing himself with that.
Jon and Gary talked about the medications he's on and how he can't seem to lose that weight. Gary said Eric knows he has to lose it but it doesn't seem to work. He said that he must think it's all going to work out without putting any effort into it. Jon said they had to take another break after that.
Jon asked JD what movies he watched this weekend. He mentioned a couple earlier like ''3 O'clock High'' and ''Under the Skin.'' Gary said he can't imagine the girlfriend wanted to watch 3 O'clock High. JD said he may have suggested it. He said he'll watch movies she wants to watch too. Ronnie asked how much porn they watched. JD laughed and said they didn't watch any. Ronnie said he knows he did. He said just look at him and you can see. JD said he was laughing at Ronnie.
Gary asked Ronnie if you hold back on the porn thing or tell the girl that this is what you're about. Ronnie said you start off with the playboy stuff and see how they react to that. Ronnie said you do the soft core stuff first. Jon asked what the indicators are. Ronnie said it depends on how they snuggle up to you and things like that.
Jon asked what you do after that. Ronnie said you sit down and talk to her and tell her that you have some graphic stuff to watch and see how she reacts to that. Ronnie said you're better off not letting her read the box. Jon said he was thinking about the DVD sleeve when he mentioned reading about it.
Jon asked JD if they've gotten into the more provocative stuff. JD said it hasn't gotten there. He said a film hasn't been needed there. Ronnie said it just spices up the relationship. Ronnie said there's nothing wrong with it. Gary said no one said there was.
Leiberman asked if Ronnie would ignore his doctor if he told him not to have sex for 2 weeks. Ronnie said he had to do that when they took a biopsy for his prostate. He said he was told to stop until he stopped shooting blood from his penis. Ronnie said they took 12 snips off his prostate. He said they send them out to see if it was cancerous. Jon asked how long he wasn't able to have sex. Ronnie said it was probably 4 days and he was still shooting blood. He said that lasted about a month. He said he still did it but he wore a condom until that stopped.
Jon asked JD if he has a group of films he wants his girlfriend to see. JD said he has some. Jon asked if it would be a problem if she didn't like 3 O'clock High. JD said it would have been fine. He said he showed her some other films that she liked. Jon said he thinks that Ronnie liked The Notebook. Ronnie said he liked it a little bit. He said he didn't cry like Leiberman cried this morning. He said he may have cried but he's not sure what part it was at. Jon asked if he cries a lot in movies. Ronnie said he does once in a while. He said Stephanie took him to see a movie about a soldier and he lost it in that one. Ronnie said that he made her go see Robocop so he had to go see that movie with her.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he is glad Jon is alive. He said that there are many people who have heart attacks and they stay depressed. He said he should talk to the doctor about anti-depressants. Gary said he brings up a good point and asked if they bring up the mental thing. Leiberman said they do some. He said he has a follow up this week. Leiberman said he's going to do a bio feedback thing for his stress. Jon said whatever works to help him out is what he should do.
Jon said that many people don't know how to adapt. Leiberman said that he doesn't feel depressed at all. He said he gets upset when he thinks about certain times of the weekend.
Jon asked Leiberman to give them a Howard 100 News preview. Leiberman said that they have an update on Benjy and Elisa's relationship and how Elisa is saying that they're not having sex anymore but Benjy isn't being clear about that. Leiberman said that Lisa G and Shuli are both on that story. Jon ran down a few other stories and got in a plug for Leiberman Live which is on today at 4:45 on Howard 101.
Jon said he wanted to end the show. The guys got in some plugs and JD apologized to Scott the Engineer for breaking a picture frame in his office. He said he'd get it fixed for him. They wrapped up and finished the show around 11:10am.
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Howard started the show talking about how he was talking to Gary and Jon about so many things. They were talking football. Robin asked if he was talking football. Howard said he was trying to understand the business of it. He said no one had any answers though. Robin asked what brought that up. Howard said in the paper they say Bon Jovi is going to try to buy the Buffalo Bills with a group of people. Howard said they were trying to figure out how they pay players and things like that. He said it was the whole business of football. Robin said she's not sure there are people who know all of that. Howard said he's sure there are but he's not that interested. Robin said she's sure there must be a cap on what they could spend on players.
Howard said he read the salary cap was $133 million in the NFL. He said that you must be able to spend that to buy a Tom Brady. He said if you want to lure him there for more then what do you do? Howard said that's confusing him. Jon Hein said that they can spend that on their roster. He said they can sign Tom Brady to a team and have the salary escalate. He said they can do that with all of the players but then you can't afford to keep them eventually.
Howard asked what they get from advertising. Jon said it's tons. He said he thinks the teams get a split on the advertising and merchandising. Howard said it sounds like a good deal. Jon said it is if you can get one of the 32 teams.
Howard said he guesses that's all the questions he has. He said he was also trying to figure out if Benjy has a girlfriend or not. He said he didn't want to get into that but he was asking Jon and Gary about that. Howard said he was starting in with his bullshit and he never knows what he's talking about. He said Benjy has to be trying to be funny.
Howard said he would like to have a conversation with Benjy but he doesn't do it seriously. Benjy said there is no simple yes or no with that. Fred said he thinks he has a question that will be yes or no. Fred asked if she's done with Benjy. Benjy said he doesn't think so.
Howard said he knew it wasn't going to be a yes or no. Howard said he knows Benjy is in love with Elisa. Benjy said she's in love with him too. He said that he has been with her for 2 and a half years. Fred said she says it's 3. Benjy said it will be in November. Howard said that it might be time to get married.
Howard said it sounds like Elisa gave him an ultimatum. Benjy said she didn't. He said they have bad habits of arguing and things like that. Howard said it could escalate if they get married. Benjy said one of the biggest things is sleep schedule. Benjy said she doesn't get that it makes that big of a difference in their lives. Howard said he gets that. Benjy said he's a night person though. He said when they have an extended vacation they have a better relationship. Howard asked if he's grouchy from the hours. Benjy said he is. He said he can be really bad.
Howard said he was on track to get them to move an hour later but they fucked him. Howard said he doesn't want to get into it though. He said he doesn't want to be too critical about it but he heard it clearly. Howard said it's over. It's not changing. Howard said that the people at Sirius had a meeting with him. He said he really doesn't see himself as an employee there. He said he wants to work with people who can push his career forward. Howard said they can be straight with him at any time. Howard said they just have to be level with him.
Howard said he was sitting there talking about moving the show to 7 in the morning. Howard said it was brought up a few times. Howard said it was said to him it's okay to move it. Howard said he had to think it through. He said if he didn't see any negative impact he'd want to move it. He said management said that was okay. Howard said they run the show all day and they can listen through the app. Howard said they can listen to it on demand on the app. Howard said it's almost irrelevant when they do the show. He said they could even do it at night. Howard said if there was anything negative about moving the show he wouldn't do it.
Howard said they put it out there but they didn't mean it. Howard said he was going to move the show to 7 and he met with some people and said they were going to do it. Howard said they told him to wait. He said they had to talk to the sponsors and things like that. Howard said he was going to wait 3 weeks to move the show. Howard said then in the bizarro moves of bizarro moves they got back to him and said he had it all wrong. He said they meant if he signed a new contract he could start at 7. Howard said his answer was that he'll never move the show to 6 and he'll just play out the rest of his contract. Howard said he was feeling really good about everyone there but now he feels like he was kicked in the teeth. He said it's the dumbest management move on the planet.
Howard said he's pretty sure that leaving the company would be bad for them. He said they should never treat him like that. He said he's sick and tired of disrespect. He said there is no Sirius without talent. Howard said it doesn't matter how many satellites they stick in the air. Howard said he's holding the cards. He said so are they. He said he's high on this company and they back him up on a lot of stuff. He said the 6 o'clock thing really ticked him off. He said it made him look foolish. Robin said it's just a bad deal.
Howard said he's going to stick to 6 now and even if they come to him and say he can move it, he's not going to. Benjy asked if that's true. Howard said absolutely. He said if someone fucks with him he's going to fuck them right back. He said if he's treated right then he will treat them right. Howard said he's never going to move the show to 7 if he thinks it's going to hurt the show. He didn't think it was hurting the show. He said he's not sure what to feel about this whole thing now.
Robin said this is like the bullshit that creates wars in countries. Howard said he's weighing out his options and his future. He said that it's really irrelevant to him. He said he wishes they had never said to him to move the show. Howard said he never brought it up. He said that this is what goes on in companies. Robin said this is what creates countries lobbing bombs at each other.
Howard said he will never move the show. Ever. Howard said if that's the carrot dangling thing then he's going to be getting up at 4 in the morning forever. Howard said he feels bad that it's ruining Benjy's relationship. He said first Benjy lost his girl and now the show isn't moving. He said Benjy is having a bad week.
Benjy said he thinks it could be good for the show. Howard said it could be. Howard said they pulled it right out from under him. He said it rubbed him the wrong way. He said he's not storming out of there but it threw him for a loop. Howard said they have to trust that he's doing what's good for the show. Howard said he was feeling very positive but now he's not.
Howard said they put it out there for him to do and then they just took it away. He said there were no strings attached and that was great. He said they seemed concerned about him. He said then they said he had to sign another contract. He said he had to base his career on that. Howard said he can just keep getting up at 4. He said he's going to muscle through anything. He said that's the way he's been trained. He said that was an odd way to do business though. He said they told him yes and then said no. Howard said he's been through it all before.
Howard said Benjy had to work very hard to get her. Howard said now King is asking what they're arguing about. King said Benjy said something the other day about how he has an office where he goes to sleep because he has to get up early. Benjy said that's not what he said. He said he has an office but it's an apartment that's twice as nice as their apartment. Benjy said they have a great deal for a couple of months on the apartment. King said Benjy is way too nice.
Howard asked what King is saying. King said if he had to be at work at 3 in the morning his wife would have to go to bed at 9. He said if she doesn't like it then get the fuck out of his house. Benjy said she was good at that stuff. Howard said that girl can definitely trade up from Benjy. Benjy said that Elisa is getting hit on now that all of this came out. He said he sees it on her Facebook account. Howard said this is the biggest score Benjy has ever had. Howard said the thing he can't let go of is that she's the hottest piece of ass and Benjy is afraid that he'll never get one that hot again.
Howard said he has seen who Benjy has dated and they're not like Elisa. Benjy said Howard doesn't know who he's dated. He said that he finds Elisa beautiful. Fred said so do a lot of people. Benjy said he has had fun with her. Howard said they get that. Benjy said it's not about the looks.
Howard said Benjy is torn because she's super hot but they argue a lot. Benjy said he loves talking to her. Howard said Elisa says she has broken up with him. Benjy said it's not. Howard cut him off and said that she has said she's not with him anymore. Benjy said she is not available. King said they should plant a guy. Howard said he doesn't care that much. He said he's worried about Benjy's well being. He said he isn't being honest with himself.
Benjy said it's not a black and white thing right now. Howard said Elisa issued a statement saying they're not together. Benjy said that they got into a fight that night and that's why she said that. He said it's not black and white. King laughed.
Howard said that relationships are black and white. Benjy said they are not broken up. Howard asked what she would say if they called her right now. Benjy said she would probably say they are broken up. Howard said this is sad. He said he thinks he's in a relationship with a person he's broken up with. King said he's delusional. Howard agreed.
Benjy said that they spend a lot of time together. Howard said it's over if she says it's over. Benjy said it's not.
King said he can see that Elisa is there for something else and not like what Beth is for Howard. Howard said there's nothing to get from Benjy. He said she's with Benjy, not Donald Sterling. Benjy said he has an incredible face and she says that all the time. Howard said some people think she's there for all the wrong reasons. Howard said he didn't know he had two apartments. He said he's a fat guy with a blotchy face. King said he's not doing anything for her now. He said she's thinking she's going nowhere with him.
Fred said he thinks that Benjy is holding her at arms length and that's part of it. king asked if she made him wear those stupid shoes he wore. Benjy said those were his idea. Howard said he was wearing them for her but she should have said he didn't have to. Benjy said he likes to. Robin said she doesn't think Benjy is hearing them. Benjy said this isn't a black and white situation.
Benjy asked if Robin has ever been in a relationship that broke up. Robin said she has and she knew when it was over. Howard said this is like Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan. He said this isn't a movie.
King said he used to stalk a girl he was going out with. He said he eventually realized that she didn't like him and he just gave up. He said he has to stop with this. He said Benjy has to deal with it because that's what came with the package. Howard said King sounds like a black Dr. Phil.
King asked Howard if he saw Ronnie at his movie premiere. He said he has to see the picture of him there. He said he was so proud and acting like he was a star. Howard said he was busy driving Ronnie around so he didn't see that. Howard said he heard they sent a car for Ronnie.
King asked if people get resentful when stuff like this happens. Howard said he doesn't sense any resentment from Ronnie. He thanked King for calling and let him go.
Howard asked if he should call Elisa and ask her what she thinks is going on. Robin said she would like to know what she thinks. Benjy said she will probably say they are broken up. Benjy said neither of them are dating anyone else. He said they're not going to. Howard said that they don't do it immediately. Benjy said they want to see if it can work out. Howard asked what they have to work out. Benjy said it's long term live things. Benjy said he has to be ready to get married. Howard said he should just do it. Benjy said he's scared. Howard said he should just do it.
Howard said Benjy is scared because she's the hottest chick he's ever dated and he doesn't get along with her. Benjy said he gets along with her great. Fred said it should be a no brainer. Robin said if he was really in love with her he'd be anxious to marry her. That's what Elisa said in the news report. Benjy said he was never looking for marriage before Elisa.
Howard had Elisa on the phone. Howard picked up and asked if he's her boyfriend or not. Elisa said they are not together. She said she loves Benjy but they fight every day. She said he comes home yelling at her in a bad mood. He said that it's little things that he gets mad at. She said she doesn't want to be with someone like that who is picking her apart every day. Howard said Benjy doesn't want to let go of her because she's not. Elisa said she doesn't think he's in love with her at all. Howard said she wouldn't want to marry someone like that. Elisa said that she admires Benjy but they are totally wrong.
Howard asked why she put cheese in his salad. Elisa said she did and he was yelling at her. He said they got into a huge fight last night. She said she asked to stay for 20 more minutes at this place and it turned into a huge argument. She said they get into fights about everything. Howard said maybe he could go home and she could stay out. Benjy said he has a problem just saying no. He said she said please and he doesn't want her to lose out on anything. Elisa said that he didn't let her stay. She said he didn't want her to stay out. It was the after party at Ronnie's movie premiere. Benjy said he loves her going out with her friends. He said he encourages that. Benjy said he had to go home.
Benjy said that he loves her very much and he's sorry he's been mean. Elisa said she loves him too. She said they've been in therapy from the beginning and that's not good. She said she got into a fight with her mom one night because of her not backing her up in a public place when Benjy bad mouthed her. She said she can't take that. She said that it's not good when someone who loves her insults her in a public place. She said that he's not nice.
Howard said he doesn't get that she got yelled at about a salad. He said Benjy could have picked it out of the salad. Benjy said he knows. Howard said he should have said that he can't believe that she just bought him a salad and he was going to eat it right off her pussy. Benjy said he's right. He said he's sorry about the salad. Elisa said that Benjy will be better off once they're broken up. She said that he's been miserable since they started going out. Howard said their personalities clash and there's nothing going on that's appropriate.
Howard said he has never fought in front of Beth's mother. He said that would kill him. He said he would never say anything in front of anyone else. Howard said you just don't do that. Howard said it's unheard of. Elisa said he was trying to make her look bad in front of her mother. Benjy didn't want her to say what it was about. Howard asked what it was about. Benjy said he was just being a jerk. He said he told her she put cheese in the salad. Howard said he's not happy being with her. Benjy said he's very unhappy with a lot of aspects of his life. He said he feels he's wasted 15-20 years of his life. He said he should have been doing comedy and podcasts and things. Howard said that's amateur hour. Benjy said he doesn't care.
Gary said they were talking in the office. He said everyone there loves Benjy. He said the interns love him and they have never seen him get mad at anyone and insult someone. He said he's never seen him be rude to anyone. He said he's so nice to the interns so he wonders who he is to her. Benjy said it's anger about his own life. Benjy said he knows it's wrong and he's trying to correct it. He said they're together and the person you love the most is the one who takes it. Howard said she shouldn't be a battering ram or a ram that's battered.
Howard said Benjy was so nice to her when he was trying to get into her pants. Benjy said he's still very sweet to her often. Robin asked if that's true. She said it is sometimes.
Howard asked Elisa if she is single. She said she is but she's not going to start dating in respect to Benjy. Howard asked how long she needs. Elisa said she needs time. Howard asked when they last had sex. She said it's been since like September. Howard said that's a long time. Benjy said they have had sexual activity. Howard asked why they're not having intercourse. Elisa said that she got off birth control and the next guy she has sex with is a guy who she wants to have a baby with. Howard said this sounds crazy. He said it's no wonder he's irritable. Benjy said that he encouraged her to get off birth control. He told her that they didn't have to have intercourse. Howard asked why he would be okay with that. Benjy said until he's ready to commit to marriage she doesn't want to do it. He said she wants to be in a committed relationship. Howard said it's time to move on. He told Elisa she has to move on.
Benjy said they had ''sex'' a week ago. Howard asked if he told his psychiatrist he hasn't had sex since September. Benjy said he wants to have sex. Howard said she should be dying for it. Benjy said they do everything except that. Howard asked why he would want that. Howard said maybe that's his thing. Benjy said he likes blow jobs. Howard asked if he asks to have sex and she says no. Benjy said they're not doing it at all now. Howard asked if anal is on the table. Elisa said she just wants him to be nicer.
Benjy said he thinks that she won't have sex with him because she wants to be in a committed relationship. Howard said she was saying that she just wants him to be nice to her. He said this is the most bizarre thing he's heard.
Benjy said they have had sex. He said it's just not intercourse. Howard asked what he's going to do about this. Benjy said he sees things getting better. Elisa said she doesn't. She said she would like Benjy to be happy and it's not happening in their relationship. Benjy said he was so happy last night just laying down and looking at each other. She said that was after they fought for 20 minutes. She said she can't enjoy it.
Howard asked what her mother did after that. Elisa said it was very public and shocking. She said her mother didn't even say anything so that's what was upsetting. She said she hasn't spoken to her mother since then. Howard asked if he apologized to her mother. Benjy said he did. He said he thinks that her family likes him. Elisa said she doesn't think so. She said they have had huge fights in front of her mom. She said that this isn't good and they're both going to be much happier if they're broken up. Benjy said he's fine with that. He said that if she wants to say they're broken up then it's fine. She said they can be friends and see how that works. Benjy said he doesn't feel he has to define anything. Howard said he only hears about what Benjy needs. He said he's wondering what she needs. Benjy said she needs to be treated nicely and be loved on a consistent basis.
Howard said if his daughter was in a relationship where the guy yells at her in front of him he'd kill him. He said that's what he would do. Howard said you can't do that. It's not cool. Howard said they have to have a sit down and figure this out. Elisa said that even if he changes today Benjy won't commit to her. Howard told him to propose to her right now. Benjy said he's not going to do that for Howard.
Howard said Benjy has been more intimate with Perez Hilton than he has with Elisa. Benjy said Perez was nice to him.
Howard said Mariann from Brooklyn wants to talk about this. Mariann said that Elisa was getting all decked out to go to the red carpet thing with Benjy last night. She said it doesn't make sense. Benjy said it's not her responsibility to make sense to her. He said that if she wants to go out then it's their decision.
Howard asked why she would go out with someone who is so mean to her. She said she still hangs out with him. Mariann told her not to complain then. Howard said she's right. Benjy said it's not her business. Mariann said if it wasn't on the air then it wouldn't be her business. Benjy said he doesn't give a fuck if it makes sense to her or not. Mariann said they're torturing each other. She said they're not having sex and Benjy is getting a finger up his ass. Benjy asked why it's upsetting her. Howard said if Elisa is really upset with him then she should be done with him. Howard said she shouldn't be going out with him. Howard said she has to have some self respect. Robin said they just don't know how to get out of this relationship. Elisa said she's right.
King of All Blacks called in again and said Benjy thinks that she's hot and he resents her for being with him. He said he's wondering why she's with him and he's pushing her to see how long she's going to stick with him.
Benjy said that when they're together and apart from the rest of the world things are great. Howard said he yells at her and then hugs her. Benjy said when they're on a train together for 30 hours they have the best time in the world. Howard said it doesn't sound like that from her. Benjy said when he's not stressed out then things are great. Robin said he has to be like that all the time. Benjy said he has to learn to handle that better. Howard said life only gets more stressful.
Howard said the only reason to be in a long term relationship is because you feel they're your teammate. Benjy said that's the way it feels to him. Elisa said that's just the way he feels now that she's broken up with him. Howard said if Benjy could line up another hot chick like this he'd be set. Benjy said he has no interest in that. Howard asked if there were hot chicks around during the Sharknado thing. Benjy said it's not about that. Elisa said that he has to find someone he loves. She said she doesn't think he's in love and she doesn't think he ever has been.
Howard said he's not any clearer on Elisa. He said he doesn't get her. He said she's so unhappy but she's still there. She said she loves Benjy. Benjy said Howard is doing a show. He said if they had a real discussion it's not 100 percent this or that. Howard said there is nothing good that he's hearing there. Howard said he's not just doing a show.
Benjy asked Howard if his daughter was in a relationship with a guy and she loves him but she doesn't want to have intercourse until their married then he'd get it. Howard said there is no way Benjy doesn't not want to have intercourse with her. Benjy said that Howard wouldn't do this if it was his daughter. Howard said they stopped having intercourse. Howard said he would ask his daughter what's going on that stopped the intimacy. Elisa said Benjy did say that there was something wrong with it early on.
Robin said she's miserable for both of them. Howard asked Fred what he thinks. Fred said he thinks they should separate and figure out what they want in their lives. Fred said that Benjy found this goddess and he can't let go of the illusion. He said that he's not looking at reality.
Benjy said he wants to be with Elisa. Howard said he is still with her and Elisa is saying they're broken up. She said she thinks that's best. Howard thanked her for explaining some of this to him. Howard thanked Benjy too. Benjy said he loves her. Elisa said she loves him too. Robin asked what Elisa's therapist says. She said she's insecure and she's scared. She said no one has loved her the way Benjy has. Fred asked if it's enough. Elisa said he loves her but to a point. She said he still insults her. Howard asked if she feels she's settling. Elisa said she does kind of feel that way. She said she'd like to find someone who loves her like Benjy but doesn't insult her.
Howard thanked Elisa for calling in and said that he has to let her go because Dan Bilzerian is there. Howard asked what Elisa is wearing. She said she's wearing a tank top. Howard asked if she's going to walk around like that today. She said she will see Benjy later. Howard said he had better go home and be nice to her. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
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Howard came back and said this is a good song for Dan Bilzerian. Howard said people told him to have him in because he's all about guns, gambling and pussy. Howard said he is living the life Benjy wants to be living.
Howard said Dan is an internet sensation. He said that Gary's kids and the head of this company were very excited to have him there. Howard asked what it is about him that make them like him. Dan said he thinks that people want to live his lifestyle. Howard said he's a professional poker player. Dan said he's a poker player but he's just been lucky to be in the games he's been in. He said he's won about $50 million in the last 12 months.
Howard asked if he was always a good poker player. Dan said he wasn't. He said he was bad in college and lost all of his money. Howard asked if he has to keep track of what he wins and loses. Dan said he does because of taxes.
Howard asked if he has ever lost a couple million in a game. Dan said he's lost $3.6 on three different occasions. He said they were the same all three times. Howard asked what happened there. Dan said sometimes you just don't play your A-game. He said one time he didn't do that and once he had bad luck and another time he did a big bluff and he blew it. Dan said they were betting cars and planes and stuff and he had a 3 or 4 million dollar bluff that didn't work out. He was trying to impress a girl. Howard said that can be dangerous.
Howard asked if he puts up his own money in these games or does he have backers. Dan said that most poker players want to end up there. He said it takes the stress out of the game. He said no one ever wanted to take a piece of it from him. He said he never really did it like that much. He said he has done it on a small scale though.
Howard asked if he doesn't respect people who go into it with must 10 percent. Dan said most of the guys who don't end up going broke.
Howard asked if he just goes in and plays or does he have a poker face with glasses and stuff. Dan said he never started doing that. He said he thought of it as a nerdy thing to do. He said he sees guys with headphones and glasses and a hoodie on. He said he never did that.
Howard asked if he thinks he has a tell or is that all bullshit. Dan said there is truth in that. He said there are a lot of amateur guys who can't win because you can pick up on it. He said they will pretend to have a strong hand or whatever and it's obvious they have a tell. He said they don't even notice they're doing it. He said if you can pick up on that then you can be good.
Howard asked if he goes into a depression when he loses $3.6 million in a game. Dan said you can't celebrate too much when you're in a game. He said he has lost a lot of money and then came back. He said he has been up 3-400,000 and he can be depressed. He said you have to try to keep everything level.
Howard asked if he can handle the highs and lows. Dan said he thinks it's like that for stock traders and guys like that. He said that guys who have done that have put it on the line. He said Howard has done that with his career.
Robin asked if Dan's brother is as rich as he is because he's a gambler too. Dan said he was the better poker player originally. He said now they've gone full circle. He said his brother doesn't play as much. He said that he's willing to take risks more than his brother.
Howard asked if you have to know when to walk away from a game. Dan said if you're playing for a living it's one long session. He said you can't just walk away when you're winning. He said you have to hang in there because the other guys are losing and you're winning.
Howard asked if he plays in the casinos. Dan said he stays away from that. He said those are professional players. He said the amateurs can't win against them. Robin asked why they would play against him. Dan said he games more than he should. He said he's really not a professional.
Howard said he's heard that there are celebrities who play. He asked if he's ever done that. Dan said he has played against Tobey Maguire and guys like that. He said they don't play that big though. He said he used to play for $100 buy ins but now he plays for $10 million. Howard said that's kind of shocking that they can do that. Dan said you can't go down in stakes once you've played those big games. He said he doesn't play as much as he used to. Dan said you don't want to go backwards and try to recoup the money you lost in a bigger one.
Howard said he must not play Blackjack because of the odds. Dan said he plays the casino games once in a while. He said that if you don't play for a long time you can do okay but if you play for a long time it can end up in big losses.
Howard said Poker is a skill you can learn. He said you have to be able to read people. He said you have to have balls of steel too. He said everyone hates losing money. Howard said that the other skill is to know when to bluff. He said that's a difficult skill. Dan said people are getting better because there are training videos now. He said he used to play online and he taught himself. He said that there's a lot of luck involved too. He said he was in the right place at the right time too.
Howard asked if he had a kid would he tell the kid to get into that. Dan said definitely not. Howard said he's made a good living at it. Howard asked why he wouldn't tell them to do it. Dan said the highest high isn't enough to overcome the lowest low. He said it's just not something he'd want someone to get into.
Dan said he's been doing a lot of bucket list stuff the past year. He said he does whatever he wants to do. He said he can go race cars if he wants to. Howard said he has a ridiculous amount of people following him on Twitter. Dan said he has like 3.5 million. He said most guys have wives and family. He said he has just taken the attitude to say what the fuck and just do it all.
Howard asked if he has anything he wants to do that he hasn't done yet. Dan said there isn't much. He said he's still working hard from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed. He said he has to manage 20 employees. Howard asked if his mom and dad are upset with him for going into gambling. He said his dad tells him to stop every time he talks to him. He said he's pretty supportive now but he wasn't in the beginning.
Howard said he read his dad was worth $400 million. Howard asked what he did for a living. Dan said he was a corporate takeover guy. He said he did very well in the 80s. Howard asked what it was like growing up. Dan said the money came when he was about 8. He said that things were interesting. He said his dad was in the military and then he went to Harvard business school. He said in 1989 he was indicted for some white collar violation. He said he was in second grade and he remembers the kids telling him his dad was going to jail. He said he was going to school one day and his dad told him he was going to jail so he was pretty bummed out.
Howard said when his dad went to jail he set up a trust fund for him. He said that he took that money and he used it to get his dad out of jail. Dan said he was in SEAL training and he had to sign over 1/3 of that trust fund to get him out of jail. He said his dad didn't talk to him for 8 months after that. He said his dad is a hard head. Howard asked if he was pissed that he left high school and got into he military. Dan said it would be hypocritical of him to do that.
Dan said he got thrown in jail when he was a senior in high school. He had a machine gun in his car. He said his dad gave him an M-16 as a gift and he showed one too many people. He said he's not sure who he got turned in. He said he was telling kids about the gun and someone asked if he had it in his car and he just admitted it. Dan said he got 3 weeks in jail over that. He said they actually kicked him out of the state of Utah over that. He said he didn't even know that was a thing. He said it was legal for him to have the gun but not on school property. He said it was right after the Columbine shootings so that wasn't a good time to do it.
Dan said he ended up splitting the family up because he had to leave the state. He said his mother took him to Florida.
Howard asked if he is a smart guy and if he got high scores on the SATs. Dan said he had like a 1340. He said he scored well in the military tests too. Howard asked if he can go back to Utah now. Dan said he can. He said he had that charge expunged.
Howard asked Dan about going into the Military and why he did that. Dan said he wanted to prove he could do it. He said he could say he was patriotic but that's not why he did it. He said he went through most of the training and then got kicked out 2 days before graduation. He said he was really cocky and he pissed some people off. He said he didn't give a shit about graduating anyway. He said he didn't get along very well with the guy in charge. He said he got a safety violation and he was helping people out but he pissed off one instructor and that ruined it for him. He said that he was cocky and he wasn't the biggest team player. Howard said once he was out he was out for good, right. Dan said he got an honorable discharge. He said he never went to any wars. Howard asked if he got to shoot all of the weapons he wanted to. Dan said he did. He said he was the best shot in his class.
Howard asked if he got laid a lot after that. Dan said he didn't really get laid in school or while he was a Seal. He said that's why he does that now. Howard said he knows he shows off the guns on his Twitter account. Dan said that he likes to shoot up trucks and stuff like that. Howard said it's fun to blow up shit. Dan said he has done a lot of different stuff where he destroys stuff.
Howard said that Dan was up all night last night. Howard asked what he did with women last night. Dan said he just banged one chick. He said there were 10 there but he only did one. He said it was his hotel room and they had a promoter who rounded up the girls. Howard said he's young and rich and the girls must like that. Dan said he's only 33. Howard said he's good looking, young and rich. Dan said it's a set up. He said he tries to set up the situation and goes with it. He said he has had parties in his house and guys come in riding in wheelchairs and they get laid. He said he'll have 30 guys and 300 women there so there's a good chance they're going to get laid.
Howard said Dan has had sex with 4 women in one night. Dan said that's true. Howard said he had multiple heart attacks before the age of 30 because of mixing drugs and booze. Dan said the funny thing is that he had to explain that to his parents. Dan said that he said weed and his mom perked up. Then he said cocaine and his dad perked up. Then he said Viagra and how he took 200mg or that. He said he had never taken them before. He said he thinks they come in 25, 50 and 100mg. He said he took one and nothing was happening so he took another one.
Howard said Dan was in bad shape and he had a heart attack. He asked if it was severe. Dan said the first one was. Then he had a minor one. He said his grandfather died the year before. He said he was only 25 at the time. Howard asked if he limited his partying after that. Dan said it was no more Viagra for him. He said he wasn't really out of control partying. He said it was like a perfect storm of things that added up. He said he was dehydrated and he was gambling so he had a lot of adrenalin pumping though him.
Howard asked Dan about how much he gambles now. Dan said he's cut back. He said that he has so much already that he doesn't need to lose. He said that he just bought a G4 jet. He said he had the whole interior replaced. He said that he may lease it out. He said the cost of maintenance is like a million a year. He said he found out that fixing the interior up was ridiculous. He said they have to do all kinds of testing on everything they put in the plane. He said he's still chartering planes because his won't be ready for another month.
Howard asked why he has 20 people working for him. Dan said he has 3 assistants and 3 chefs. He said he has houses in L.A. and Vegas. He said he has people who work shifts for him. He said he eats a lot. Howard asked if he has a lot of parties. Dan said he does. He said his house is such a cool place to go. He said he has chicks there and a great view. He said he has friends who hang out there. He said he's a good friend.
Howard asked if he has regular dudes or celebrities hanging out with him. Dan said that it's mostly regular dudes. Dan said he has some friends who are billionaires. Howard asked about Tobey Maguire and what it's like playing with him. Dan said that he has good money but he argues over ridiculous things.
Howard asked if the girl he banged last night is someone he'd see again. Dan said he doesn't even know her name. Howard asked if he'll ever get married. Dan said that's not what he's looking for right now. Robin asked if he has a girlfriend. Dan said he just broke up with his girlfriend a few days ago. He said she was super cool but she's not into the lifestyle he's living right now. Howard said she was into the threesomes and things like that. Dan said she was awesome. He said she was a solid girl. He said she had a career and all. He said he's just in a spot in his life where he's like a rock star minus the rock. He said he went on tour with a friend who is a rock star and it was the most depressing thing.
Howard said Dan can do whatever he wants to. Dan said it's a little crazy right now. Dan said he was in Minnesota and a sheriff followed them on their boat to take a picture with him. He said it can be kind of crazy. Howard said Gary's kids are out of their minds over the whole thing. Howard said the internet made Dan famous. Dan said it was like it happened over night.
Robin asked why he wanted to do that online. Dan said he was doing a lot of cool shit and he wasn't setting out to be famous from Instagram. Dan said his ex was all into that and she gave him shit about it. He said when he broke it off with her he went out to L.A. and starting partying and then the social media stuff took off.
Howard said Dan hired a P.R. firm and they wanted him to stop doing some of the stuff he was doing. Dan said he was doing this The Daily Pussy thing online and they wanted him to stop with that. He said he doesn't think he has to change. He said he's doing just fine without them telling him what to do. He said he doesn't need the money anyway. Howard said this is the stuff that makes him interesting and there's no reason to stop doing it.
Howard asked Dan why he picked the chick he banged last night. Dan said she was sexy and one of the hottest chicks there. Dan said that they had good sex too. He said he would have felt bad if they didn't. Dan said he doesn't promise girls the world. He said he tells them the way it is and if they want to hook up then that's fine. Howard asked if the girl will be there tonight. Dan said she's gone. He said he doesn't kick them out but the party is over and they're gone.
Howard said Dan is in The Equalizer which opens September 26th. Howard said he read that Dan banged 16 girls in 12 days. Dan said his standards are high too. He said that he has thought about doing a reality show but it would take it to a level where his life would change to a point he wouldn't want.
Howard asked if his girlfriend was fine with all of this stuff. Dan said he told her that he didn't want a relationship from the start. He said that he treated her very well and she had a good life. He said at the end of the day she knew that she was the only girl he gave a shit about. Dan said he doesn't think he'd want that if he was a girl. Dan said he was with her for a year.
Robin asked how he gets into these relationships. Dan said he didn't just want one and he told her that from the start. Dan said he told her that and she was fine with him going with other girls. He said there were no downsides. Howard said maybe she thought she'd have him hooked and he'd just want to be with her.
Howard asked if he ever pays these girls off. Dan said he does say he'll support them until they get on their feet. He said she wasn't there for the money. He said she had a good job and she was a solid chick. Howard said he should say he's going to give them a Dan Bilzerian t-shirt and record the look on their face. Dan said he would never do that.
Howard asked if he's ever banged a fat chick. Dan said he did that once and it cured him. Howard asked if he has any idea how many girls he's fucked. Dan said he has a basic idea. Howard said he's surprised he didn't do better with the girls in high school. Dan said he went to a bunch of schools and he didn't have a senior year because of the gun thing. He said he had 3 good days there. Dan said he was popular those days but he blew it.
Howard asked if he won't have sex with celebrity women. Dan said he thinks they're a pain in the ass and they're not as hot as the girls he hangs out with. Howard said that's what Donald Trump says too. Dan said they're head cases too. He said they have the entitlement thing going on.
Howard said he read that Dan threw some girl off a roof. Dan said that he jumped off his own roof and they suggested that he toss a girl off his roof by her vagina for a photo shoot. Dan said she was all for it. He said he did the ''snatch toss'' and she ended up breaking her foot. Dan said she ripped the shirt off his back as he threw her. He said she hung on and almost pulled him with her. He said she told him she wasn't going to sue him. He said that she wanted him to apologize to her. He said she almost pulled him down with her. Dan said that she found some retard lawyer to get a settlement deal. He said his guy Tom Goldstein took care of that for him.
Howard asked Dan about being in this movie. Dan said he's been in a couple. He said he was in ''Olympus has Fallen'' and now this new one ''The Equalizer.'' Dan said he had a friend who told him he should quit the poker thing and do something else. He said he had a movie he was doing and he could get him on. He said he talked to a guy about the role and he did it. Dan said he was in a fight scene and he does MMA so he didn't think it was that difficult to do. He said that the MMA stuff is good for his workout.
Dan said he got to thinking about doing the movie and he figured he had to shave his beard for the part. He said he was playing a Secret Service guy. He said he had to think about that. Dan said that he was offered $100,000 to shave his beard a week before and he said no. He ended up shaving it for the movie though. He said he had a guy offer him $35,000 to do it and he said no to that before the 100,000. Howard asked if the beard drives him nuts. Dan said it only itches after 3 weeks or so. He said the cool thing is that he can just shave it off and he's a ghost. He said that girls think he looks better without it.
Howard said The Equalizer is coming out in September. Howard asked what he plays in it. Dan said he's only in it for about a minute. He said he's a Serbian mercenary in the movie.
Howard said Dan put money into Pete Berg's movie about soldiers. Dan said he put a million into that. He said he wanted a part in that movie too. He said Pete promised him 8 minutes of screen time. He said he was cut out of the movie and was only in it for about a minute. He said if he says he's going to do something he does it. He said if someone tells him they're doing something he expects them to do it. He said he had to sue them over it. Dan said the movie did so well that he'll get more just riding it out than over suing them. Dan said he gets 3 percent of the back end on that. He said that he's getting $1.5 million back. He said he's one of the few that gets money from investing.
Howard asked if he wants to be an actor. Dan said it's just a hobby right now but he is taking acting lessons. He said he's going to be in ''Cat Run 2'' for about 10 minutes too.
Howard said he could talk to Dan all day. He said he has to go though. Howard asked what the best way is for girls to get to him. Dan said direct message seems to be working lately. Dan said that these girls seem to have a hard time getting guys. Howard said Ronnie could be his pussy coordinator. Dan said that might work. Dan said he has to take a bathroom break. Howard said he's going to end this now anyway. Robin asked if he ever plans to put his lifestyle in another venue like a magazine. Dan said he thinks that magazines are on the way out. Robin said he could monetize it in some way. Howard said he has it going on with his Instagram.
Howard gave Dan some plugs for the movie and all of that. He asked how long he had a hard on after the Viagra. Dan said he had to tie it to his stomach for a while. Howard said he wishes he could teach him to be a man. He said he had to take a break. They went to break a short time later.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he wanted to apologize to that guy for being dealt such a shitty hand in life. He said he's a truck driver with a wife and kids at home. Howard said he just hugged Will out in the hall about the same thing. Howard said Will just threw himself off a building. Howard said that's who Benjy really wants to be like. Howard said all men are impressed with Dan.
Howard said there is a Game of Thrones class at the University of Virginia. Howard said he's sure parents are thrilled to hear that with the price of enrollment. Howard said that you get the bill and find out your kid is studying Game of Thrones.
Howard said everyone was very emotional about the Jon Leiberman story yesterday. Howard said Jon was talking about how he survived that artery blockage. Howard said Jon said that the nurses were saying he was like superman. Howard said one guy wrote in and said they meant he was as strong as Christopher Reeve.
Howard read some mail about Benjy and Elisa's break up. Howard said that one person said they were glad there's a hot person back on the market and they were referring to Benjy. Howard said that someone compared Benjy to Mark David Chapman.
Howard said some people wrote in about JD and his girlfriend too. Howard said someone was happy to hear he was almost named after Jack Daniels the drink. Howard said someone suggested that JD name his first child after his favorite thing and name it Ronald McDonald.
Howard read some mail about his comments about Israel. Howard said that Roger Waters is pro Palestinian. Howard said this person wrote in asking how Roger Waters would feel if someone threw a bottle on stage and wondered if he would give that person the stage.
Howard said Mick Jagger says he's doing okay after his girlfriend killed herself. Howard said this person wrote in saying he's doing fine which means that he is fucking everyone.
Howard said someone wrote in about how they saw the new Planet of the Apes movie and they're pissed that Gary doesn't tell him about his side projects.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was in the military for 4 years and he thinks that Dan is full of shit about his service. He said you don't just go in to become a SEAL. Howard said maybe he did. He doesn't think he was lying about it. The caller said it did some off that way.
The caller also said that Jon Leiberman's new rap name should be 50 Stent based on his heart condition. Howard said maybe they'll do that. Howard said he has to take another break and then give away some money and play some clips. Howard did a live commercial read and then went to break.
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Howard said he has a lot of people on the phones. He said he has a lot of songs coming in too. He said they're about everything. Howard said he has one about High Pitch Eric who weighs 360 pounds. Howard said he thought he weighed 361. Howard said he came in with a cane and that's what the song is about. Howard played that one and it was High Pitch singing the song about himself to the tune of ''Cocaine.'' Howard said that's a great song. Robin said he's managing his figure during the song by eating.
Howard played another song about Eric the Actor. They took Eric's voice to make that song. Howard said Joe from Vermont sent that one in. Howard said they had to cut up his words to make that one. Robin said that took effort.
Howard said songs are coming in about JD's girlfriend. Howard said Eli Braden sent this one in. Howard played his song about the girlfriend swallowing JD's jizz on the weekends. Howard played a second one from Eli about the girlfriend. Howard said you have to love that one.
Howard said everyone was taken with Riley Martin who had food poisoning last week. Howard said people are sending in songs based on that. Howard played one where they took clips of Riley moaning and put them to a song. Howard said that food poisoning is bad but it leads to some good songs. He had another one where they put Riley's moaning into a song. Howard said he loves it.
Howard said Wolfie went to a Phish concert but he needs more time to do that. Howard said Oprah interviewed Jerry Sandusky's son. Howard said that's really heavy. He said maybe he'll play that during the news.
Howard said he has tape of a guy talking about a football player and how he's a good lineman because he's got a big ass. Howard said he's sure the guy meant no harm but it sounds odd. Howard played that quick clip.
Howard said he called into the Jenny McCarthy show. Howard said it was weird. He said he doesn't normally call into other people's shows. He said he was in his car with Beth driving to the house and he had a lot of time to kill. He said Beth never expresses any interest in listening to radio other than music. He said she wanted to hear her radio show though. He said he didn't want to listen to it but Beth did. Howard said he had no interest in the show. Howard said she kept insisting though. Howard said Beth stopped listening and he was ignoring it too. Howard said Beth told him to call in. Howard said she thought it would be a nice thing to do. Howard said Beth reminds him how to be a human being. He said he's sure he'd revert to being a cave man if Beth wasn't around. Howard said she somehow talked him into it. Howard said he called in and he had no idea what the fuck they were talking about. Howard said Perez Hilton was there and there were two other ladies there.
Howard said Jenny and the girls were talking about squirting. Howard said he hates to break it to Jenny but guys don't care about squirting. Robin said Ronnie does. Howard said he finds it disgusting.
Howard played some audio from Jenny's show where he called in and said he's pretty sure he's the only one listening. Jenny laughed. Howard stopped the clip and said he wasn't kidding about that. Howard said he's not sure anyone is listening to that show. Howard said Jenny was asking him blow job questions and things and he wasn't able to follow it.
Howard played more of the audio and Jenny was asking him something about blow jobs but Howard had no idea what she was asking.
Howard said there's a rapper named Trick Daddy and he was on a radio show. Howard said he's not sure what show it was. He said he's part of something called Eat a Booty Gang and they think that black guys should be eating ass. Howard played a clip and the guys were talking about this Eat a Booty Gang thing. Trick Daddy explained that to the host of the show. Howard wondered what the fuck he was talking about.
Howard said that's kind of crazy. Howard said he'd be a perfect guest for Jenny McCarthy. Howard said he gets grossed out hearing that stuff. He said he doesn't want to hear about that stuff. Howard said he just likes regular sex.
Howard said this guy started a whole gang of guys who eat ass. Howard said the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket. Howard said they're talking about eating ass.
JD told Howard they're putting out an album and one of the songs is called Brown Nose Boy. He said they sing about it tasting like ice cream. Howard said he doesn't stick his tongue up a woman's asshole. He said he's not that into it. Howard said he knows Gary does that. Robin said Gary's lips, tongue and teeth go just about everywhere anyway. Robin said if he's down there he's eating everything.
Lee said he wanted to yell at Benjy for a few seconds. Howard let him do that. Lee said that Benjy yelling at Elisa is like assault and it's causing her a lot of stress. Benjy said he's got a good point. Howard said he wants to play the Tan Mom game now.
Howard said they asked Tan Mom ''Who sailed to the Indies in 1492?'' Lee said she won't know the answer. He said he thinks he's going to go with that as his real question and not a test. Howard said if he gets it right he wins $500. Howard said he thinks she'll know this one. Howard played her answer which was ''Columbus.'' Howard said that he told Lee that she'd know. Howard said he can't give him the $500. Lee said that's fine. He threw in some plugs and told Benjy to read some book.
Howard picked up on Mariann from Brooklyn who said tonight is AGT Judgment Week. She said it's tonight and tomorrow. She said next week they're live from Radio City. Howard said he's got to get geared up for that. Howard played her out with a theme song.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to talk about that movie Lone Survivor that Dan was in. He spent a minute on that and then Howard played a Tan Mom game with him. Howard said they asked her ''How many states are in America?'' Howard asked if Tan Mom will know. The caller had to think about it. Howard said he doesn't think she'll know. Robin said no too. The caller said he could sure use that money. He said she has to know it. Howard said he's locking him in on that. Howard played Tan Mom's answer which was ''36.'' Howard said the caller lost. He said he had to let him go. His name was Nate. Howard had to hang up on him.
Howard said he can't just let the guy play another round. Howard took another call and played Tan Mom's question which was ''who is the current mayor of New York City?'' The caller said he's not even sure who it is but he was from California. The caller said she won't know the answer. Howard said he thinks she might know. Howard said Vince says she won't know. Vince said he has to go for ''no.'' Howard played her answer which was ''I know his name but I can't think of it... Bill Lewani.'' Howard said Vince got it right so he won $500.
Vince said he was reading about how they want to pass a bill so retarded people can't vote. Howard said he thinks that they should be allowed to vote. Howard said he's not sure how they'd figure out who is retarded. Howard did a live commercial and then went to a quick break.
Robin started her news with a story about Adrian Grenier having dinner with Howard Stern in the same restaurant. Howard said he went out to diner with his wife on Saturday and saw Linda Lopez there. He said she dated Booker and he hadn't seen her in years. Howard said he didn't see J-Lo but she was supposed to be there. Howard said he didn't know Adrian Grenier was there either. Howard said he met him once. Robin said he has done the show. Howard said he didn't see him there.
Robin said Beth is in the paper today. She also thanked Howard for sending her a picture of their kitten Robin Ophelia. She said she's very cute. Howard said Beth does such a great job with those kittens. Robin said she has some neighbors who are feeding wild cats and they have litters. Robin said she spent money having them neutered and spayed but she must have missed two. Robin said she saw one of the cats the other day and it looked pregnant. Howard said you have to catch the adults and have them spayed and neutered. Howard said she has to talk to Beth about that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she has been listening to the show for a long time. She said she did a book report in school about his book ''Private Parts'' and she ended up getting kicked out of school. The caller, Marnie, said she has to agree with the squirting thing. She said she has been married for 9 years. She said she got separated and she went on Tinder to find a guy and they were all asking if she squirts. She said all she could think was ''Fuck you Ronnie'' because of that. Howard said it sounds disgusting. Marnie said she's not even sure how you know if you can do it. Howard thanked her for the call.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who asked if he has ever seen a girl squirt. Howard said he doesn't want to talk about that. Jeff said he was in a movie last week and it was quite good. Howard said alright and was about to hang up. Jeff said he has a documentary DVD that you can find at DVLHOnline.com. Howard said you know no one is going to go there. Jeff said maybe. Jeff thanked him for letting him plug. Howard said everyone is so desperate to stay on the air.
Robin read about The Bachelorette and asked Howard if he's watching. Howard said he is. He said that the ex-baseball player dude really gives him the creeps. He said there's Nick and he feels he's the best one for her but sometimes he questions his motives. Benjy asked if he assumes when they go to that private room that they're fucking. Howard said he would assume so. He said that maybe they're just laying there looking at each other like Benjy and Elisa.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard is gay based on what he watches. He said it's cool but he should embrace his gayness and worship the cock. Howard hung up on the guy as he was rambling on about that. Howard said he can't get into that boring game of baseball. He said Gary went off and went to some baseball game with some buddies. Howard said that's why Gary is healthier than he is. Robin said he bonds with guys. She said that they can go there and watch something together and not talk. Howard said he's trying to work on that with his psychiatrist.
Robin read a story about a book that's out that says Bill Clinton has a girlfriend and she's around so much that she has a secret service code name of ''energizer''. Robin said they say that Hillary and Bill's secret service teams call each other to let them know when Hillary is headed home. Howard said he keeps all of that pretty quiet. Howard wondered what's in it for the woman. Robin said she has one of the most famous and powerful men in the world. Howard said he thinks that would be the worst of it. That led to Howard doing his Clinton impression for a short time. Robin was reading more about Hillary and Bill and Howard was doing his impression the whole time. He was doing a whole monologue as Clinton talking about his constant need for blow jobs and stuff like that. Howard said he knows he'd want to talk pussy with the guy but he wouldn't want to because he was president. Howard continued his Clinton impression and talked for a long time about why he's over Hillary and into this ''Energizer'' chick.
Robin read a story about Jimmy Kimmel having President Obama on his show this Wednesday night. Howard finally got out of his Clinton impression after about 15 minutes. Howard said he had to go because he heard Hillary coming. He did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about a gynecologist who was fired from Johns Hopkins university after he was caught filming patients there. Robin said that he would regularly summon people to have unnecessary pelvic exams. Robin said the doctor committed suicide after the allegations were made public. Howard said Beth is not allowed to go to a male gynecologist.
Robin read about how we have a number of crazies there but she can't imagine wanting to join the group ISIS. Robin said a California man was planning on doing that. Robin read some details about that story and had some audio of someone talking about that. Howard read a live commercial after that.
Robin read about how President Obama is defending Israel over how they have to defend themselves over the Hamas bombings. Howard and Robin spent a few minutes discussing that. Howard did another live commercial read after that.
Robin had some audio of President Obama talking about discrimination of gays and lesbians and how he's trying to bring an end to that. Howard said it can be kind of shocking when some guy you work with shows up to work in a dress and his Adam's apple is shaved. Howard said he's had that happen to him. Howard said just imagine Scott the Engineer shows up like that. He and Fred did their impressions of Scott for a few seconds.
Robin read a story about a couple who locked up their autistic children in a basement for years. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that. Robin read about the parents and how they were arrested over that. Robin said the autistic men were allegedly locked in that room for the past 6 years.
Robin read about Donald Sterling going to court over the sale of the L.A. Clippers. Robin said his wife is going to testify in the case this week.
Robin read about Prince George's birthday coming up and how Twitter users are celebrating it by using s special hashtag.
Howard asked Benjy about how he can afford to have two apartments. Benjy said he has a friend who left the other apartment so he's taking care of it. He said they spend time in both. Benjy said the other apartment is only 20 feet away. He said he sleeps in the more luxurious apartment when he needs to.
Robin read about Lance Armstrong going to the Sturgis motorcycle rally this year. Robin said he's going to be the grand Marshall at the event. Howard said he wonders who he's banging these days. Robin said that apparently nothing has changed. He still has a girlfriend and still has cronies who hang out and treat him like god. Robin said it appears life is good for him. Howard wondered if his girlfriend puts cheese in his salad. Howard asked Benjy what type of cheese was in his salad. Benjy said he's not sure. Howard said he should find out. Benjy said he shouldn't have reacted the way he did. Howard said he should have just run over to the luxury apartment and not gotten upset. Howard asked Robin if she would have put cheese in his salad. Robin said she wouldn't have. She said she would have paid attention.
Robin read a story about the Malaysian plane wreckage and how it's showing evidence of being taken down by a missile. Howard did his JD impression and said that he wishes someone would get him a salad. Howard said just imagine JD yelling at his girl over that. Robin said JD said that he didn't say he loves her, he said they both love each other. Howard and Fred both went into their JD impressions and goofed on him for a minute. Howard said Benjy loves his food so you can't mess with him about that shit.
Robin read about how Tony Dungy has come out saying that he wouldn't have drafted Michael Sam if he knew about the gay thing because he wouldn't have wanted to deal with the controversy. He's taking some fire over that.
Robin read about Ringo Starr starting something called the Peace and Love Fund. That led to Howard playing the Peace and Love clip that they refer to often.
Howard said Fred plays a clip of Benjy screaming and there was a German announcer during the World Cup who sounds similar to that. Howard played the clip of the German announcer and one of the guys was screaming sort of like Benjy.
Robin read a story about a James Brown Biopic that's about to be released. Howard said no one is making that big of a deal about it. Robin said details about James Brown's assets and wife may soon be made public. Robin said there's a diary of a woman who claims to have been his wife when he died. Robin said the movie is set to hit the theaters on August 1st. Howard said he hopes the movie is good. Howard said he never would have thought he'd be on his radio show. Howard said he always listens to James Brown at home. He said you should see him dance to it. He said it's pathetic. Howard said he has a mix of songs on his iPod and he has some James Brown songs in there. Howard had Fred play some James Brown songs. Howard said that's what he listened to as a kid. He said he's been beaten up to those songs too. Robin read more about the film and wrapped up her news. They ended the show around 10:25am.
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Jon went over some of the things that they were going to go over today. Jon mentioned the show time start and how it's going to stay at 6. Michael said that Howard should start at 8. He said he's not sure why they torture themselves getting up that early. He said it must be a hygiene mess. He said that's probably why Ronnie never shaves that moustache off.
Jon said Howard has been doing the show for 30 years at that time. Michael said Gary used to beg him to come on the show but now he doesn't return his emails. Gary said it's 2014 now. Michael said he gets it. He said meanwhile Gary still has a moustache from the 70s.
Michael said that he was trying to get on the show to plug his documentary and Gary didn't return his calls. Michael said he was very passionate about the film and he wanted to come on the show to talk about it. He said he didn't hear a thing from Gary. Gary said that's not true. Michael said that the last time he was live on the show gets replayed so he wants some residuals. Gary said that he begged them to let him into the Playboy party and he didn't show up. Michael said he wasn't going to show up to that scum hole. Michael said that when he wants to come back on he gets radio silence. Gary said he tries to get back to everyone even if they can't have them in.
Michael said he got nothing at all from Gary. Gary said that Howard doesn't know A Tribe Called Quest so he didn't think it would work having him in. Michael said he feels ignored and belittled. Gary said he keeps a picture of Michael on his wall in his office. He said it's a picture of Michael picking his nose with two fingers that was in the National Enquirer. Michael said he's never seen that.
Jon said that Michael and Mike worked with Ronnie on this film. He asked Ronnie if it was this fun on the set. Ronnie said it was insane. He said they were in a strip club and it was so much fun. He said he loved doing it. He said he has to thank Stamos for getting him in on it. Mike said Stamos came to him and said he had to meet Ronnie. He said he came in and he knew he was a strip club guy. He said he came in dressed really sharp. He said he had different clothes on hangers. Ronnie said they told him to bring a few things.
Mike said that he had a tank top with him. Mike said he thought he saw shorts too. Ronnie said that's bullshit. He doesn't wear shorts.
Michael said that the movie opens up on Friday. He said he has to promote it because Gary isn't going to do a thing for him. He said he's obviously B-list now. Michael said no one is excited to do just the Wrap Up Show. He said he could be on Shade 45 and do it with the featured fucking guy.
Michael explained the scene that Ronnie is in and how they're in a strip club. He said Ronnie is the strip club patron in the scene. Michael said that he and Ronnie were improving and it was great. He said Ronnie didn't bat an eye. Jon said he's impressed that he held his own. Ronnie said he was in his element there. Michael said that he did it take after take too. He said Ronnie was a natural. He said he was right there toe to toe with him and it was great.
Jon said Ronnie delivered. He asked what his reaction was last night when he saw it. Ronnie said they used everything. Michael said that they cut some out. He said that Ronnie could do more work as an actor. He said Howard should be interviewing more drivers. He said it could turn into something big for Ronnie. Ronnie said he wants to stay there so he won't be getting into acting. He said he'll do little things here and there.
Ronnie said he'd never walk away from Howard. He said even if Martin Scorsese offered him a part he wouldn't leave. He said the movie could be a bomb and he'd be out of work. Gary said it's not his passion. He said the black guy in Captain Phillips may never be seen again.
Ronnie said it's not about the money. He said he's there and that's where he's staying. Jon asked what he'd do if he was offered a role as a NASCAR driver. Ronnie said they'd have to work around his schedule.
Mike said that Ronnie handled the script great. Ronnie said the only thing he didn't like was the hair spray shit they used on him. He said he looked like Larry King. Michael said that he has to calm down. He said it's part of the process. He said he was a bit player in the movie.
Gary asked Michael if he can talk to him about projects he was in that aren't about this. Gary said that he was great in Justified and Howard agreed. He said he's trying to get Howard to watch Big Fan too. Michael said that's a good film. He said Justified was a lot of fun too. Ronnie said that was some crazy shit on Justified. Jon said he really did a great job on the show. Michael said the writing is great and the guys who are the leads are great too. Michael said that his character was killed off but they didn't even have him in to promote that. Gary said there are a lot of shows Howard loves and they don't have the people on from those either.
Michael said there are people who are on the show all the fucking time. He said Jerry O'Connell is up there like 19 times a year. He said he hasn't been up there in how long and Jerry is on all the time. He said he likes Jerry but he's on every fucking month. Michael said he'd love to be on the Celebrity Superfan show. He said next time he calls he's going to ignore him. Michael said he'll ignore him all the time now. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Jon said before they talk about Benjy and the other guys there's something insane going on there. Gary said they have a lobby full of young girls. The band is called Five Seconds of Summer and they're there in the building. Gary said a couple of the kids walked by and they're going crazy for someone they don't even know. Jon said he gets that but there are parents up there too. He said sometimes the parents are more into it than the kids. Gary said you spend your whole life trying to get front row tickets to Springsteen and then you wake up one day and you're trying to get a ticket for Barney.
Jon said that Benjy and Elisa were talking about their break up or not break up. Benjy was trying to talk but Michael Rappaport kept doing something that was distracting him. Benjy said this is not a clearly defined situation. He said they can say he's broken up but it's not clearly defined. Gary said it doesn't seem to be defined for him but it seems more defined for her. Benjy said it might be.
Michael said that he has been down that road himself. Gary said he knows. Michael said that he was stalking before stalking was a thing. He said that he should get some new ass. Benjy said he's really in love with someone. Michael asked how old he is. Benjy said he's 42. Gary laughed. Michael said he was in his 20s when he was going through this. Michael said he has a girlfriend now. Benjy asked if he's going to marry her. Michael said he's been married and he's not going to do that. He said he only believes in marriage if you're going to have kids. He said they're not having kids. Ronnie said that it's coming and he just doesn't know it.
Gary asked Ronnie how old he was when he met his girlfriend. Ronnie said she was 24. He didn't want to say how old he was.
Michael said he doesn't believe in marriage unless you're having kids. Mike said that Michael's girl is cool with where they're at. Benjy asked if they've ever had any rough patches. Michael said not really. Benjy said he and Elisa are going to see how it goes from here.
Jon said Benjy and Elisa haven't had intercourse since September. Michael asked what the fuck is up with that. He said this isn't Happy Days. He asked if he gets BJs. Benjy said that he encouraged her to get off birth control because it's not good for your body. Gary asked if he regretted encouraging her. Benjy said he didn't. He said it's not easy for her. Gary asked why that relates to having sex. Benjy said she doesn't want to have sex unless she's in a relationship where she's going to have kids.
Gary said he's not clear on this. Michael said the sensitivity in Benjy's eyes doesn't come out on radio. Michael said that he sees it in his eyes now. He said he'd like to straighten this broad out right now.
Benjy said that's not how this relationship is. Jon said he wants to set the scene here. He said Elisa said she doesn't want to have intercourse because she wants to have it with a guy she's going to marry and have kids with. Benjy hasn't committed to that. Jon said if Benjy loves her that way why the hell won't he just marry her or let her go. Michael said he should hang out with Ronnie and get new ass. Benjy said he thinks he was a sex addict. Michael asked how that manifested itself. Benjy said that it was all of the above. He said it sounds like Michael is all about sex. Michael said the woman you're with is the woman you need to have a functional relationship with. He said it has to be for both of you.
Jon asked why Benjy doesn't commit. Benjy said he's in therapy and he's immature about it. He said he's so freaked out about death and life. He said he's scared. Jon said he's going to lose her if he doesn't commit. Benjy said he knows. He said he was going to meet the oldest man in the world and he waited too long because the guy died. He said that he kept saying he was going to do it but he kept putting it off.
Michael asked if Benjy wants to have kids. He said yes. Michael asked if she wants kids. Benjy said he doesn't think she's sure. Gary asked Benjy what he needs to do to make this right. There was no clear answer.
Michael was upset with Gary because they dragged his wife on the air back when he was on the show live last time. He said she didn't want to be on TV. He said that was when they were out in L.A. many years ago. Jon said they had to take another break after that.
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Jon said that Michael wanted to be a basketball player when he was growing up. He asked about what he thinks about Lebron going back to Cleveland. Michael said that he thinks he'll stay in Cleveland for a while but he won't end his career in Cleveland. Michael said they can have him back in 10 years to talk about it then.
Jon asked Michael if he thinks it's good for Cleveland. Michael said he does but he should have given it another year in Miami. Mike had some thoughts on that too. He said he thinks that Lebron wants that big monster story going back. The guys spent a few minutes talking about Lebron.
Jon asked Gary if he feels bad that he didn't return Michael's calls. Michael said they can get Jerry O'Connell and David Arquette to call in. He said he loves those guys but come on. Gary said his recollection is that Michael asked to come on and he said he didn't think he could make it happen. Then Michael bombarded him with emails. Michael said of course he did. He said he had to try and get on.
Jon said Howard opened the show talking about how Bon Jovi was trying to buy the Bills. He asked if Howard would ever get in on something like that. Gary said no way. He said that you have to be into the sport to be into something like that. He said it's not Howard's bag. Gary said he doesn't think Howard cares about something like that.
Jon said the way Howard views sports fans is interesting. He thinks they're nuts. Gary said that he thinks they're nuts for rooting for a team but he's into chess. Mike said you have to be smart to be a good player. Gary said he does math all day during a football game. Michael said it's fun and competitive. He said some people do take it too far.
Michael said he remembers Howard talking about how photography wasn't an art but now he's a photographer. He asked if he ever reneged on that comment. Gary said of course he didn't. Gary said Howard does that with a lot of things. He said he used to make fun of him for drinking and now Howard has a drink now and then.
Jon asked Michael how he thinks Howard has evolved. Michael said that he's evolved as an interviewer. He said the show has evolved and gotten better and better. He said that Howard is gifted. He said he's the Mike Jordan of recording. Ronnie said that's alright, he's still not getting on the show.
Jon said he's not sure why Ronnie is breaking his balls. Michael asked what time they get up in the morning. Gary said he gets up at like 4:15. Benjy said he gets up around 5. He said he hates it so much. Benjy said he didn't get to bed until 11 and it's really hard for him to do that. Michael said that's just crazy.
Gary said he was working for NBC and he used to go to a bar and he'd stay until 4 in the morning and then go out and shoot the shit. He said a week later he was going to bed at 7 at night and driving past those people in the morning on his way to work. Gary said he's gotten used to it and he likes getting home at 4 in the afternoon and being able to do shit.
Jon brought up how Howard said the show won't be moving to 7am. Michael asked who fucked him on that. Jon said they don't know for sure. Michael said that they have to do something because Howard is going to leave radio at some point. Gary said he agrees that it's in his contract but the company should look at it and see how they can make Howard happy to keep him there.
Jon asked Ronnie if he would play his role again in a sequel to this movie. Ronnie said he would as long as they work around his schedule. Mike said Ronnie was so good that he'd have him play the same character.
Michael asked if Ronnie if his iron broke since last night. He said last night he looked nice and today he's more wrinkled than his toilet paper.
Jon asked Mike if his tank top had skulls on it. Mike said there was a skull. He said he remembers him rolling in with his wardrobe and they had to debate for about 15 minutes over it. Ronnie said that they wanted him to bring different clothes. He said they didn't want him in a suit.
Ronnie said one of the girls in the film is a massage girl at Rick's Cabaret. He said she rubs him down all the time. Mike said he's never seen anything like that in Detroit. Benjy joked that they have dental service in strip clubs in New York.
Jon had Shuli give them a Howard 100 News preview. Shuli said Michael Rappaport is the best Wrap Up Show guest ever. Michael asked who the fuck does the Wrap Up Show. Gary said that he's no Yucko. Michael said he loves Yucko. Gary said they're going to see him out at Comic Con this week. He said he's got a cartoon on Comedy Central called Brickleberry.
Shuli ran down his Howard 100 News headlines. Jon asked how Leiberman is doing today. Shuli said they have a new rule in the news room about Lisa G and how she's not allowed to talk to him back there.
Jon wrapped up the show and let Michael and Mike get in their plugs for ''My Man is a Loser''. Jon ended the show around 11:25am.
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Howard started the show talking about how it was Wednesday already and how busy they were going to be. He said they have Scott the hypnotist coming back today. He said last time he was on Sal was convinced he was a turtle and he was trying to keep his eggs from Pterodactyls.
Howard said he was watching America's Got Talent last night. He said he thinks they edit a lot out. He said he thinks they took a lot of him out. Robin said she has some quibbles with the judges over some of the people they sent right through. Howard said sometimes they're moved and they send them right through. He said it's not always a unanimous thing. Robin said if they're sending them through it has to be unanimous. Howard said it's not always. He said he gets over ridden sometimes.
Howard said he should start with some email. He said they had the whole Benjy and Elisa thing yesterday. Howard said Benjy says he's not breaking up but Elisa says they are. Howard said he's no clearer on what's going on after talking to them.
Howard read an email from someone who thinks Sharknado ruined the relationship. Howard said another person is shocked that she ever hooked up with Benjy. Howard said there's a lot about Elisa and Benjy being crazy. Howard said that someone says that Benjy's behavior is odd and maybe Perez Hilton poked a hole in Benjy's brain when he fingered him. Howard said someone else says that Benjy is like the white Ike Turner.
Howard said he thinks that whenever Benjy screws up at work he's going to put cheese in his salad. He said he looks like the kind of guy who likes cheese but apparently not.
Howard read more email about Benjy getting mean at home and how he must be like a Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Wide. Howard read another one about how Perez Hilton is the last person Benjy had sex with.
Howard said after the show yesterday he asked Benjy how he's really doing. Howard said he'd be really upset if his girlfriend said they weren't going to have sex anymore. Howard said it's like punishing yourself. Howard said Benjy is putting up with a lot of stuff he shouldn't be and so is Elisa. Howard said that's not a good relationship. Robin said that's what the bottom line was yesterday. She said they should get out.
Howard said someone pointed out that Benjy was right to put his foot down about the cheese in his salad. He said next thing he knows he's going to have croutons in it. Howard said there were a few other references to the cheese in the salad.
Howard said someone wrote about how picky someone the size of a hippopotamus is about his food. Howard said Benjy said he was okay after the show. He said the guys were talking about how they have seen Benjy eat stripper pussy but he draws the line at cheese on his salad.
Howard said someone wrote about how some cheese must have worked its way in based on how fat Benjy is. Howard said people were shocked that Benjy blew up in front of Elisa's mom too. They pointed out that there's nothing worse than Benjy saying that he's dating her daughter.
Howard said based on Benjy and Elisa's relationship Howard and Robin have been dating for 30 years. They talk every day and they don't fuck.
Howard said he would be so insulted if a girl said that she didn't want to have sex with him. Benjy said they have had regular relations in the past year. He said they have done all of that for the last year. Howard asked if it's a step backward. Benjy said it's not. Howard said there's something wrong there. Howard said he should not be okay with that. Benjy said she wants to feel there's a commitment to the rest of their lives. He said if he's not ready to say yes then there is. Howard asked if she has done that before. Benjy said he doesn't know. He said people can grow and change.
Howard said there is nothing that draws more intimacy than sex. Benjy said they still touch and kiss. He said he feels as close or closer with that. Howard said he would be insulted. Howard said he can't imagine she's okay with it.
Howard said there's something wrong if she's withdrawing an intimacy. Howard said she is not attracted to him. Howard said girls that are into you like to fuck you. Robin said that isn't the case. She said women use the denial of sex as communication. Howard said it's bad either way. Howard said that Robin had anal with a guy who she didn't know at all. Howard said Elisa knows Benjy and she doesn't want to fuck him. Benjy said they have been fooling around and he'd rather not stop and put on the thing.
Howard said he thinks that it would be great to be able to come in and say that she likes fucking him. Howard said that's why you have a girlfriend. Robin said she gave him everything and now she's taking something away.
Howard said his psychiatrist would say something is going on if they're not having sex. Benjy said they are doing some things. Howard said that it's like his wife. Howard said he's just saying that it's not good.
Howard said if he told Benjy that his parents were having a relationship where they don't have sex he'd think something was wrong. Benjy said it's not typical. Howard said it's bad. He said the next chick he hooks up with he'll be fucking and he'll want to fuck. Benjy said the kissing and touching is nicer. Howard said if she was into him she'd want to fuck him.
Benjy asked if George and Brad are in a real relationship. Howard said of course they are. Benjy said they don't have intercourse. Howard said they're gay men. He said if one of them had a vagina they would. Howard said that Benjy is saying he'd treat Elisa like a gay man. Benjy said intercourse isn't the end all be all. He said he is attracted to her. Howard asked if he thinks about fucking her at all. Benjy said sexually there is something about intercourse that's a huge thing. He said touching and kissing is much more intense. Howard said fucking is the thing. He said entering her is like joining her.
Howard said this is about how he's not fucking his girlfriend of 3 years and he hasn't fucked her for the past year. Benjy said he can be in love with someone and they don't have to do that. He said they do have some unhealthy things in their relationship. He said it's not a this or that thing. Robin said he's ignoring that it's a communication thing and he's blocked.
Howard said she's saying that she doesn't want to fuck him. Howard said she's saying she doesn't want to fuck him. Benjy said she's got reasons for that. Howard said if she was his girlfriend she'd be fucking him. Robin said that she has cut Benjy off. Benjy said right. Robin said that is not a good relationship.
Howard said there's a huge problem there. Benjy said there is. He said there does indicate there are problems. He said they know that though. Robin asked if he realizes it's on death row. Benjy said no. Howard said she broke up with him. Benjy said she could change her name and move away. Howard said she might have to. Howard said this might be a bigger problem than his weight.
Howard asked what's going on with his weight. Benjy said he's still losing. Benjy said he would like to lose about 60 more pounds. Robin said he didn't lose what he was supposed to for the contest. Benjy said that got him started though. He said he's doing better.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who asked where his cap is that he wears for Elisa. Benjy said he wore it 2 nights ago at the premiere. King said he used to do so much shit to his wife and she still fucked him. He said he was the worst boyfriend and he still got laid. Howard got a laugh out of that.
Benjy said Elisa wants to be married. He said he respects that. Robin said if he really respected it he'd get out of her life. Howard said Benjy doesn't want to be married. Benjy said part of him really does. Robin said he should get out of her life. Howard said Benjy doesn't look like Bradley Cooper to her anymore. Howard said now he looks like Benjy. Benjy laughed and said that would be a good horror movie. Howard said he hopes he figures it all out.
Howard said he read that Philip Seymour Hoffman didn't leave any money to his kids but he did leave it to his ex. Howard said that she is the mother of the kids though so she will decide what to do with it. Howard said that he didn't want to have trust fund kids so he didn't leave it to them.
Howard said another story he was reading was one about a girl who took a selfie at Auschwitz and she's smiling in it. Robin said that she knows people who took pictures in there behind the fence and they were smiling. Howard said he flew down to the Malaysian airline crash and took pictures but he didn't post them. He said he's smarter than that.
Howard said he was watching AGT and they edit that show really well. Robin said they really do a good job editing. Howard said he's looking forward to next week's live shows. He said the hours are brutal for him though. He said he can't stay up until 11. He said it's really tough. Howard said even on the weekends he's in bed by 9. He said staying up until 11 is nuts. He said he asked his assistant to check last year to see if they went from 8-10. He said it was actually 9-11. Howard said Benjy freaks out about cheese in his salad and he freaks out about his schedule.
Howard said they are coming out with a Jimi Hendrix movie and Andre 3000 is playing Jimi. Howard said he doesn't know if he can act but he's looking forward to it. Howard said he read in Rolling Stone that they didn't give any rights to any of Jimi's songs in the movie. Howard said they say he's going to play All Along the Watchtower and the National Anthem but that's about it. Gary said they were talking about how many songs they're going to be missing in the movie. Robin said the Hendrix family is so weird. Howard said they wanted to use a Hendrix song in his movie and they had all kinds of rules about how they could use the Hendrix song. Howard said they can't have any drug references in the scene. Howard said they guard that music very religiously. Howard said it's so cliche to do that anyway so he's glad they didn't let them do it. Howard said he can't remember what song they used in his drug scene.
Howard said that maybe they can play a Partridge Family song instead of a Hendrix song. Howard said Andre must need to get into character playing his songs. Howard said that's just so wrong to not have his music in the movie.
Howard read about the movie and they explain why the songs weren't used in the movie. Howard said the director says that the movie was set in the pre-fame era so they never went to the estate. Howard said this is how he was discovered and how he became Jimi Hendrix. Robin said he was still writing at that time. Howard said maybe they're on to something. Robin said they'll have to see. Howard said it's like making a biopic about Imus and you don't use the N-word. Robin said it would be like making a movie about Hitler and not having any Jews in it.
Howard said he has a clip of Benjy and Elisa yelling at each other in a restaurant. He played the clip and they had Benjy screaming and a clip of a woman crying after he's given a salad with cheese in it.
Howard said Robin started a travel agency so he has a commercial for that. Howard played the bit where they have Robin saying names of countries in her very own way. Howard congratulated her on her side business. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
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Howard said he was walking down the street and 3 girls walked by and they were probably 7-10 years old. He said they were saying ''Hey, that's the guy from America's Got Talent!'' Howard said he had a good laugh from that. He said they think he's a judge. Howard said he is but he doesn't think of that as what he is. He said that's a fun bit or a side job. Howard said those kids are forever going to think he was a judge from America's Got Talent.
Howard said yesterday outside the building it was crazy. He played some audio of young girls who were hanging out waiting to see Five Seconds of Summer. Howard said they're a boy band and they're bigger than One Direction. Robin said they're an actual band that plays instruments. Robin said she tries to keep up on that stuff. She said she was out there screaming. Howard said Robin is a cougar. Howard had audio of the girls singing one of the band's songs. Howard said he's not sure what they were doing up there.
Howard said they estimated there were about 3000 girls out there with their moms. He said all of the moms look the same. Gary said they're all from the mid-west and overweight wearing khaki shorts and a fanny pack. Howard said they all look like women who have had too much cheese in their salad.
Howard said if he asked his mom to go do something like that there's no way she would have. He said these women are willing to do anything for their kids and they do stupid stuff.
Howard played some audio of Sal and Richard talking to some of the girls down there. They were asking what they were so into with the band. The girls were crying talking about how great some of the guys in the band were.
Howard said this is how Benjy's girlfriend should be acting toward him. Howard played more audio of the girls saying that the band has had more influence on music than John Lennon. Sal asked them to give him a few seconds of Whole Lotta Love from Led Zeppelin. They had no idea what he was talking about.
Robin said they planted a tree in honor of George Harrison and it was attacked by actual beetles. Howard said that's pretty ironic.
Eric asked if Rachel (Butera) is going to be on tonight's AGT. Howard said he's not sure. He said he hasn't seen the show yet. He said he doesn't get it until a few hours before it airs. He said they edit the shows right up until the last second.
Eric said 5 years ago on this day he got released from the hospital in Arkansas. He said that's when he had congestive heart failure. Howard thanked him for the call. He said that was a great story. He thanked him for sharing. Howard asked if he has any other anniversaries coming up. Eric said no. Fred played a couple more theme songs for Eric. Howard and Robin were laughing.
Howard said maybe they should make a bigger deal out of his anniversary. He said maybe they missed something. Eric said it was 5 years ago today that he got out of the hospital after being there for 6 days. Howard asked if this is the exact day. Eric said it was the 22nd but it was a Wednesday. Howard said it's not even his anniversary. Howard said it's not the right date though. Eric said a year from today it will be the right day. Howard said he can't make Wednesday his anniversary. Eric said right. Fred played another theme song of Eric's.
Howard said this is great. He called in with his anniversary but he's a day off. Eric said he didn't want to wait on hold yesterday while they wasted the show talking about Benjy. Howard said he's off by a whole day. He said it's not his anniversary at all. Howard said it's unbelievable. Howard said it was just a Wednesday 5 years ago.
Fred played another theme song as Eric was trying to say something. Eric eventually said he's been criticized about the pauses in his speech but he's seen other people doing that on TV. Robin said they don't do it in the middle of a word. Howard said he just did it in the middle of a word. Gary told Howard that some of those ack-acks are actually Eric's. He said he was on a show and said ''ack-ack'' so it's actually Eric. Fred said it is actually Eric. Eric said he had to explain that he doesn't say that. Howard asked him to say that really slowly and explain it. Eric said no. Howard congratulated him on his anniversary. Eric said he would have called in yesterday. Howard said alright and let him go and played him out with one of his theme songs.
Howard said this hypnotist Scott Schmaren came in about a year ago and hypnotized Sal who thought he was a turtle in a past life. Howard said Scott has come back in to hypnotize Ronnie. Howard said that Sal is still going to the guy for tune ups. Gary said Sal comes in pitching the guy every writer's meeting. He said he thinks that he can hypnotize Shuli so he can beat Scott in bowling. Howard didn't sound so interested in that. He said they had to take a break after that.
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Howard asked why the name Schmaren. Scott said he's talking about it right now. Howard said at least it's not Schmendrick. Howard said Scott has written books and he knows Sal contacts him regularly. Howard asked what they're doing with Ronnie today. Scott said he's going to reveal his deepest sexual fantasy.
Howard said Ronnie looks very relaxed. Robin said he looks dead. Howard said that Scott's book and weight loss program are available on his web site UltimateVisionaryMind.com.
Howard had Scott put Ronnie under so they can get to this. Scott had Ronnie go deep into his hypnosis. Howard said he thinks Ronnie just came in his pants. Howard said it's amazing to him. He said he thought the more intelligent you were the less likely you were to go under. He said Ronnie goes right out. Scott said that it's not true. He said that he's had some very intelligent people go under. He said it's also not true that you can't hypnotize some people. He said he's been studying this for over 20 years. He said he used to weigh 360 pounds and he learned that he could change the way he saw himself and he was able to lose the weight and keep it off.
Howard asked if they're going to learn what Ronnie's ultimate sex fantasy is. Howard said they may have already heard those stories on the show. Scott said they'll find out. He talked to Ronnie a little more and asked him to go into his mind and find the sexual part of it where he has his fantasies. He said that fantasy hasn't happened yet. He asked Ronnie to pull that fantasy out now and look at it and explore it. He told him to explain what he's experiencing.
Ronnie wasn't saying anything. Howard said he thinks he's dead. Scott said he's exploring. Howard said he can't imagine there's a brain in there.
Ronnie said there were a couple of girls there. He said he's just talking to them. Ronnie said he's in some house or something. Ronnie said he couldn't tell what the girls looked like. Scott asked what he wants them to look like. Ronnie said they're smokin' hot. He said one is a dirty blonde. He said another one is a pale skinned red head. Ronnie was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He said he was in the living room. Scott asked what he wants to do with them. Ronnie said he feels weird. He said he has a lot of anxiety. Scott had him relax.
Scott got Ronnie back into it and found out he wanted the girls to undress each other. Scott had him go through that story and Howard asked if they can just make Ronnie a turtle. Scott laughed.
Scott asked Ronnie what the girls were doing. Ronnie said the blond is eating out the red head. Ronnie started to laugh. He said it's like a movie and it's fucking great. Ronnie was laughing so hard he couldn't talk. He just kept saying ''This is great!'' Ronnie said he should tell them to come hang out so he can fuck them. Ronnie said this is awesome man. Ronnie said he should be there because it's fucking great.
Ronnie said he has his clothes off now. He kept saying this is fucking great. Ronnie was laughing and said they were on the floor now and they're going at it. He said he has one girl up on her knees and he's fucking her in her ass. Robin was cracking up. Ronnie said the girl is eating out the other girl's pussy. Ronnie said this is in his house. Ronnie was laughing which made Robin laugh. Howard was cracking up too. Howard said he wants to be put in that house.
Ronnie said he's fucking the red head now. Ronnie said he's doing the red head now. He said he's sucking on her boobs. Then he laughed and said the other girl is eating her ass now. Ronnie said they should be there with him right now. Ronnie said he can't control this shit. He said it's out of control. He said one is sucking on his balls and the other is blowing him. Howard said Ronnie is going to cum. Scott said he might.
Scott asked if Ronnie is having a good time. Ronnie said he is. Ronnie said the girls are going nuts. Ronnie said he doesn't even know where he is anymore. He said this is fucking awesome though. He said he has no idea what he's missing over there.
Ronnie said this is going to go on all night and days on end. Ronnie said what they're going to do is take a break. He cracked up. Scott said his glasses are all fogged up. Ronnie said they were going to play naked Monopoly. Scott told him to start that now. Ronnie said he's at a table and drinking. He said one is drinking vodka and cranberry and the other is drinking something dark. He said he's drinking his Tang and Tonic. He said don't forget the lime. Ronnie said they're playing Monopoly but one of the girls is hungry. He said they're going to order pizza. He said they're going to drink more and go back to the carpet on the floor. He said there's something about that carpet. He said it's blue. He said he doesn't know whose house it is but he wants to live there.
Howard said the big, black pizza guy just showed up there. Scott asked whose house it is. Ronnie said it's not his. Ronnie said he's back on the carpet and the girls are caressing his body. He said they're tickling his asshole but being real gentle. He said it's really cool. He said he's got the best fucking hard on from it. Ronnie said they're tickling around his asshole and stuff. Ronnie said the other girl is touching his balls very lightly. He said she's got great nails. He said they're long and bright red. Ronnie said she's doing it very lightly. Howard told him to demonstrate it on Scott the Hypnotist. Scott told him not to.
Scott asked what else is going on. Ronnie said this is great and it's like being in heaven. He asked what else he could ask for.
Ronnie said ''Whoa!'' and said the girls flipped him over. He said whatever they were doing was great. Ronnie said the red head is amazing. He said she's a real red head too. He said you need the real fucking red head if you're with one. Ronnie said she's tickling his nipples with those nails. Howard sounded grossed out.
Ronnie said the girls says she wants to suck on his nipples like he was a chick. He said his dick is standing up like a pole, dude. He said the other girl is getting turned on. He said she's tickling his dick from top to bottom. Howard said he's going to throw up.
Ronnie said that the girl is holding his cock real lightly and she put her mouth right on the head of his cock. He said she has it real tight in her mouth and she's stroking up and down. He said it's unreal. Ronnie said the other girl wants to take a break. He said they're going back to play Monopoly again. He said they're drinking too. He said this is fucking great. He said it's like 3 in the morning and he hasn't cum yet. He said it's like they're holding back. Ronnie said they're drinking and playing Monopoly. He said he owns Boardwalk and Park Place. He was making deals with the girls on what he owns on the board.
Scott asked who has bigger tits. Scott said the blond has really nice tits. He said the red head has nipples that stick out like pencil erasers. He said it's fucking insane. Ronnie said this is some fucking night. He said he's back on the carpet again and the red head is eating out the blond. He said he's now trying to stick his dick in the blond. He said she's mad because he's giving more attention to the red head. Now he's eating her ass out and she's calmed down. He said she's okay now. He said now he's fucking her and it's all good. He said the red head is moaning like a mother fucker. He said she's moaning at the fucking moon.
Ronnie said they were stopping again. He said they're going back to play Monopoly. He said they don't want to blow their loads. They're waiting for the sun to come up. He said now they're back at the table. He said one chick is upset because she went to jail. He said she's all bent. Ronnie said he explained to her that you can pay to get out of jail. Ronnie was explaining the game to Scott. He said they ran out of Vodka so they're in deep shit. He said it's too late and they can't go to the store. Ronnie said the girl is going to drink gin and tonic with him.
Ronnie said they're drinking and playing and now they're back on the floor again. Ronnie said it's 4:30 in the morning. He said they're back on the floor and running out of things to do. He said they're trying to figure that out. He said the red head said ''You eat her out and I'll lick your asshole and balls at the same time.'' Ronnie said it's all good. He said you gotta get the real red head. He said they have the little boobies.
Ronnie said the girl wanted to get back with the other girl. He said something is wrong there. He said they're making out now. Ronnie said she's telling him to slap her ass so he'll do that. He said he'll kick her in the fucking ass. Ronnie said now she wants him to fuck her so he's doing it. He said he's fucking her from behind, dude. Ronnie said they want more booze so they're back at the table. Howard told Scott to move him along so they can get done with this.
Scott had Ronnie move forward. Ronnie said the chick is making out with the other chick. Ronnie said the girl wants him to jerk off on her. He said the blond is going to eat out the red head and he's going to jerk off on her tits. Howard told him to finish. Ronnie was going ''Whoa!'' and said that was some load. He apologized because he got some on her face. He said she didn't care. He said she's licking it and now she's turned on and on fire. Ronnie said she's on fire. He said she's grabbing all the cum and putting it in her mouth.
Howard said Ronnie just soiled his suit. Howard told Scott to put Ronnie back under. Scott told him to relax and clear his mind. Ronnie was sweating. Scott told him to relax. Ronnie kept saying he's sweating. Howard said he just fucked two girls, that's why.
Howard gave Scott some plugs and mentioned the Clean, Burn and Shape weight loss program he has. You can find that on his web site. Howard said it's amazing what he just saw. Howard said Scott has a book called ''Stepping Stones to Success'' that's available on his web site too.
Howard asked if they can make Ronnie think that he's JD's girlfriend. Scott said it's up to Ronnie. Howard said they have a few scenarios and some of them were making him come on to Robin or Howard. Howard said they could make him think he's Jimmy Kimmel and the host of a TV show. Scott asked if they could make Ronnie turn into Howard. Howard said what they just did was so perfect. Robin said they may not be able to top it. Scott said maybe they should save it until next time.
Fred said he would like to see him as JD's girl. Howard said maybe they should give it a try. Scott put Ronnie under and told him he was going to be a beautiful woman and he's going to be madly in love with JD. Ronnie came out and said his name is Madeline. He said he was a brunette and he's pretty hot. Scott said that JD is there. ''Madeline'' said she would like to meet JD. Scott asked what she would say to him. Madeline said she didn't know.
JD came in and Scott had Ronnie open his eyes and tell JD whatever he wanted to. Madeline said hi to JD. JD asked how she was. She said she was fine. Madeline said JD is okay. JD said she's beautiful. Madeline said he's a good looking boy. Scott asked what Madeline would do with JD if she could be with him. She said she would go out with him. JD said he'd take her out to Nobu or something. He said they could have sushi or something. Madeline said that she doesn't like that. JD said maybe they can play Monopoly. Madeline said she's played that before. Howard said JD is striking out with Ronnie.
Scott asked what Madeline likes about JD. She said she likes his profile. She said that she doesn't know JD that well. Howard said he knew they should have stopped. Howard said every woman is turned off by JD.
Scott asked Madeline where she would like to go. She said she'd like to go to an Italian place. She said that she'd like a nice dinner. JD asked if she kisses on a first date. Madeline said it all depends. She said she'd like to go to a romantic place after dinner. She said that she'd like to go to a quiet music lounge and have some drinks. Scott asked what her favorite drink is. She said a cosmopolitan.
Madeline said that she wouldn't have any panties on. She said she'd be in a braless dress. JD said that's fine with him.
Scott asked Madeline to go over and give JD a big kiss. Madeline said she's not sure she's ready for that. JD said he's not sure either. Madeline said maybe JD should make the move on him. Howard told JD to hold her hand. Madeline said that she's very sweaty at the moment. JD was holding hands with Madeline. Howard asked how that felt. Madeline said he's looking at JD's profile and getting more sweaty. Howard said he wants JD to look at her eye to eye. JD said he can't. Madeline asked what's wrong. JD said this is very weird. Madeline asked why he won't hold his hand anymore. Madeline said it's very hot in there.
Scott put Madeline back under and told her to relax. He brought Ronnie back. Howard said Scott is the greatest. JD said he has to wash his hands. Howard told him to go ahead.
Howard had Scott wake Ronnie up a little bit. He said he'd like to leave him as Madeline all day. Howard gave Scott some more plugs for his stuff. Howard asked what he's doing with Sal. Scott said he wants to be a better father and a better writer for the show so he's working with him on that.
Howard told Scott to bring Ronnie out of his hypnosis. Scott brought him out of the deep state. Howard asked Ronnie if he remembers anything. Ronnie said he's fucking sweating. Howard said he was a busy boy. Howard said his glasses are all fogged up. Ronnie asked what's going on. He said he just feels like he's been through the war. Howard asked if he remembers anything. Ronnie said there was something with some girls or something. He said he must have been dreaming or something. Howard asked if he remembers being JD's girlfriend. He said he remembers something about it. Howard said he's going to take a break now.
Howard said that was the real James Brown ordering the flowers. Howard said he hopes that's how the guy plays James Brown in the movie. Howard said he hopes they don't white wash that movie and make him sound like some guy from the north. Howard said he has to mumble like that.
Howard said they told Scott that it would be cool to hypnotize Benjy into thinking he was having sex with his girlfriend. Howard said Scott says he can do that.
Howard said people ask if that's real and it's 100 percent real. He said Ronnie is still out of it. He said he went to the bathroom and Scott has to try to bring him back to being the old Ronnie. He said he's way out of it.
Robin said that it was like Ronnie was really in the room with those girls. She said that his fantasy was to be in a room with two girls and to keep stopping sex to play Monopoly.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was wiping tears from his eyes and almost ran off the road. He said it was the funniest thing. He said they have to play that a lot. Howard said they do have it on video so maybe they'll put it up on the internet next. Howard said that Ronnie was really sweating and had a stain on his shirt.
The caller was a truck driver and Howard said most guys say they ''drive truck'' and not ''a truck.'' He wondered what that's about. The caller said maybe it just sounds cooler.
The caller asked what the chances of him playing the Tan Mom game are. Howard said he doesn't have any money to play today. The caller said he'll try again another time.
Howard said that Ronnie was having a good time in that hypnosis. Howard said he wanted to be there with him. He said that he was jealous. Benjy said it was amazing and he wonders what the potential is there.
Howard wondered if Scott could hypnotize someone who is paralyzed and make them think that they were able to walk. Howard said Scott said he would like to see if he can get a guy like that to have an erection and give him that experience.
Robin said she liked how Ronnie seemed to be talking to the girls while he was under. Howard said everything involved ass eating in that fantasy too. He said everything was fine when he was eating that ass. Fred said it was also interesting how he has that red head fantasy. Howard said he's a creep. Robin said he was talking about her tickling his balls and dick.
Ronnie came in and said he's still in a bit of a fog. He said he remembers some of what he had going on. Howard said he was laughing and saying that it was the best night of his life. Ronnie said he remembers sweating. Fred said his glasses were steamed up. Ronnie said he just had to clean them. He said it looked like he cried on them or something.
Ronnie said he's all sweaty. Howard said just wait until he hears it back. Ronnie said he remembers something about talking to JD as a girl. Howard said he was JD's girlfriend. Ronnie said ''Oh boy.'' Robin said he almost cried when JD took his hand away. Ronnie didn't remember that. He said there are parts he doesn't remember. Howard said his name was Madeline when he was a girl. Ronnie said he doesn't even like that name.
Howard said the best part was when he was in his sexual fantasy and playing Monopoly. Howard asked if he plays that a lot. Ronnie said he did when he was a kid. Howard told Ronnie about some of the things that he was talking about while he was under. Ronnie said he remembers there was some wild sex stuff. He said everyone was doing everything.
Howard asked if he remembered some of the things he was doing. Ronnie did remember bits and pieces. He didn't remember cummng on the girl's tits. He said he didn't remember waking up either. Howard said he just had the night of his life. Ronnie said when he woke him up he wasn't able to get off the couch. He said it's a weird feeling.
Howard let Ronnie go after that. Ronnie threw in some plugs for the movie ''My Man is a Loser'' which opens on Friday and is available On Demand too.
Howard picked up on this guy John who said he's been trying to get a hold of Hanzi for about a month and a half. He said he tracked him down on the web and he keeps texting him there. He said Hanzi thinks that he's one of the staff messing with him. John said he has been producing for years and he has something for Hanzi. He said he wants to do a show that stars him and it would be like a Curb Your Enthusiasm type of thing. He said that he'd go out to conventions and try to capitalize on being a Wack Packer. Howard asked if he has spoken to any networks about it. John said he has up in Canada. He said he can't go forward unless he has someone signed to the show. John said he has been trying to get a hold of him but half the time he thinks it's someone from the show. Then he wants a police check on him or something. Howard said the guy is a mental case.
Hanzi said he never asked for a police check. John said he knows he didn't believe him. Hanzi said the guy is improvising now and he's saying that he's delusional. John said he just wants to talk to him and meet him. He said he just wants to talk. Howard said Hanzi is paranoid. Robin said this is what he would have to deal with every day. John said he'd rather work with him than Eric the Actor.
Howard asked what kind of money they could give to Hanzi. John said the budget might be a couple million depending on who he gets behind it. He said that they'd work something out with him. He said Hanzi would have to agree that they could negotiate based on the budget they procure. Howard said he wants to be frank with him. He said Hanzi is earning nothing right now so can he double that. John said he can. Howard said this is a very lucrative deal for Hanzi. John said all he has to do is take the tinfoil hat off his head and meet him for coffee.
Hanzi said he's sure this is the first Howard's heard of it. Howard said it is. Hanzi said he doesn't want to go through the whole thing and then find out there's nothing there. Howard said it sounds like he's going to go out and pitch the show if he agrees to it. John said he will do that but he can't guarantee it'll be picked up. He said he will do his best and see what he can do. John said he is a TV producer and he would like to try. He said he lives about 30 minutes from Hanzi so it could work out.
Howard asked Hanzi what he wants to do. Hanzi said he wants some other acting gigs. Howard said the guy wants him to star in his own show and now he's asking for more. Howard said Hanzi wants a show like Friends to offer him a role. Hanzi said he wants a small role in something. Robin said this is why he'll never get out of that basement. Howard said he has nothing to lose.
Howard said Hanzi sounds like Eric the Actor now. Robin said he's looking for excuses so he doesn't have to do anything. Howard said he'd give up if he were John. John said he told Hanzi that if he didn't sign on soon he would approach Eric the Actor next. He said he has to act soon.
Gary said Shuli was telling him that Hanzi's battle cry is ''Why can't I get work like Eric?'' Howard said he's out of the Hanzi business if he doesn't do this. Howard said he should agree to talk. John said he is available at any time. Robin asked if he'll call him back. Hanzi said he will but... He started laughing. Howard asked what they're going to call the show. John said they were thinking Wack Pack but Howard told him he can't use that. Howard said he could call it ''Parents Worst Nightmare.'' Hanzi said his whole thing is that there are TV shows that film there all the time. Robin said they're not calling. Howard said this is his only offer. Hanzi said he knows for a fact that there are people who want to offer him stuff but Howard won't allow him to do it. Howard wished John luck with this. John said he did everything he could. Hanzi said all he's saying is that it would make more sense... Howard cut him off and said he's getting this offer and not taking it.
Jon asked Hanzi if he has his number. Hanzi said he thinks so. Howard said of course he does. He said he doesn't have any other numbers. Howard said he can do what he wants. Howard said if he wants to call then do it. Howard said he's not sure if John is a legitimate guy but he claims to be a producer. John said Hanzi knows how to get in touch. He said if he wants to then he's there.
Howard said he has so much to do and it's already 8:30. He said he has to go. He played Hanzi a theme song. Hanzi told him to hang on. Howard played another song parody.
John said that's what he hears in his head. Hanzi told Howard to use his powers to stop people from harassing him on Twitter and Facebook. Howard played him another song parody.
Howard said Hanzi doesn't need to be on Twitter. Hanzi said his computer is being hacked. Howard said no one cares. Hanzi said he knows Howard can get away with that. Howard said these delusions only seem real to him. He kept trying to hang up but Hanzi kept talking. Howard played him yet another song parody... and then another. They went to break after that.
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Howard said that call is the greatest. He laughed as it was playing. Howard said he has to check the top 5 songs. He said at number 5 was Sam Smith. Howard said that the Sam Smith song reminded him of the Tom Petty song ''I Won't Back Down'' but slower. He said that put him in the mood to hear that so he had Fred play that too. Howard said he has a rich friend who had Tom Petty playing in his living room. He said that you tend to appreciate something like that. He said it was so weird. He said he was like 2 feet from Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Howard said if you have a couple billion it's not that big of a deal.
Howard said that was one of the most surreal nights of his life. He said the year after that the guy had Elton John sitting in his living room playing a whole concert. Howard said it was pretty awesome. Howard said he hast been invited back since. Howard said people tend to get sick of him.
Howard said he was the only jerk off paying attention that night. He said people were just milling around and talking. He said he sat there and enjoyed the entertainment. He said maybe he wasn't social enough.
Howard said the number 4 song was Nico and Vinz and at number 3 was Ariana Grande. Number 2 was Iggy Azalea and at number 1 was Magic. Howard said he's unfamiliar with every song in the top 5. He said he's proud of that too.
Howard played a clip of Matthew Sandusky talking to Oprah Winfrey. Howard said there are a lot of clips. Howard said Matt isn't his biological son. Howard said they already had a son and they adopted Matthew. Howard said he came clean to Oprah. Howard played one where he talked about the wrestling and showering ritual. Matt was talking about how Jerry progressed to grabbing his genitals when he'd throw him as a child. He said he moved on to taking a shower with him in the locker room. Matt said that's where a lot of the sexual abuse happened. He said wrestling was another thing that he'd do. He said he would blow on his stomach and lift up his shirt and just lay on him. Matt said Jerry would be aroused and just laying on you.
Howard said imagine that guy, who is no beauty, laying on you. Howard said it's kind of a bummer. Howard said the bedtime ritual will really make Robin nuts. Robin said maybe this is what people should watch for. Howard said you'll know it when you see it.
Howard played another clip where Matthew was talking about the bedtime ritual and Oprah was asking him to explain it in detail. Matt was saying that he had to sleep in shorts because Jerry would tell him his body had to breathe. Howard said Oprah was so riveted that she put her fries down to listen. Matthew said that he'd tickle him and then roll around and wrestle around with him on the floor. He said it became more sexual in nature as he went on. He said he'd move up to his genital area. He said it wasn't blowing anymore. He said then it was oral sex. Fred let out and ''Oh!'' when he heard that. Howard did too.
Howard played a bit they created about Jerry Sandusky. Howard said they can only hope that he's showering with guys who rape him in prison. Robin said guys like that are such a target they might be kept away from the rest of the prison population.
The caller said he was watching Celebrity Ghost Stories recently and the woman was so on about what she was saying. Howard said that it's show business. Howard said he has a friend who was asked to be on one of those shows and he didn't have a ghost story. He said the show said they'd write him one. Howard said that there are no ghosts. The caller, Vince, said we can't be alone. Howard said we are. Vince asked what happens when we die. Howard said that's it, you're just gone. Vince said he knows there is something else out there. He said he knows it. Howard asked what his IQ is. Vince said he has never been tested. Howard said only an idiot would believe in anything he doesn't believe in.
Vince said there is another side you go to when you die. Howard asked what happens when you go there. Vince said you go to a purgatory kind of place. Robin asked why you would do that. Howard said this guy sounds like Ronnie when he's hypnotized.
Vince went on to say that you have to wait on a decision on where you go next. He said that it's not just God but other entities that decide where you go. Howard said how about this. He said you die but then you're stuck on Earth until Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg talk to you and then you get to walk up to heaven. Vince asked if he has had anyone who died in his life and had them show up in a dream. Howard said it's never happened. He said his grandfather would have visited if it was a real thing. Vince said his grandfather has visited him. Howard said that's called delusion. Vince said in the movie Ghost... Robin said he's basing his whole life on a movie. Vince said in the movie there's one scene where dark spirits take the bad guy away. He said the guy who wrote it experienced something like that. Howard said he really has to go. He said he can only put up with that for so long. Robin said if he wants it to be true then it can be true for him.
Benjy asked if Howard believes there is no intelligent life elsewhere. Howard said he does. Benjy asked if they found out there was one day would he believe. Howard said they never will find that out. Benjy said there are people he respects who believe there is. Howard said there is no other life. He said this is it. He said there are no ghosts either. He said that's it. Benjy said they say the probability that there isn't is impossible. Howard said this was a freak accident of astronomical proportions. Howard said that we're near a sun that's not too far or too close. He said the odds of it happening are too great. Robin said the universe is infinite though. Howard said there is not life anywhere else. Robin said there could be.
Howard said you just enjoy this while you have it. He said you want to leave the planet in a clean condition. Robin said she read about a woman who wanted her ashes to be put in the Atlantic Ocean and they handed her off to different people to get her there. Howard said it's like Casey Kasem's body. Robin said they're just hoping she gets to New York.
Howard played a clip of Kerri talking about her father's wife and how she's playing games trying to upset them. She said that it's not going to happen. She said it's sad. Howard said this is the biggest story in radio right now. He said that's how little is going on in radio right now. Howard said he's not sure Casey did all that much. He said he was more like a voice over guy. Robin said he was in radio. She said he spun records at the least. Howard said he thinks this is crazy. He said it's funny that they can't even find the body.
Howard played more of the Kerri Kasem interview and she was talking about how no one knows where Jean is but she won't share with the family where Casey is buried. Howard said it would be great if she had his body in her house. Howard said he hopes his mom hides his dad's body. He said that would make it more fun.
Howard said they could have a listener contest where they have them try to find the body. Howard said he bets they could do it. Gary said if he's in Canada maybe Hanzi could win it. Howard said that's something else.
Howard said they should call a bunch of psychics to find out. Robin said maybe the Long Island Psychic. Robin said she's surprised Sal hasn't come running in.
Howard said Riley Martin predicted where Casey Kasem is. Howard played a clip of Riley talking about how there are people who would pay money for his body parts. Howard said that's where his mind goes. It's always about the money.
Howard played more of the Riley clip and he was talking about how it could be in England or Germany. He said he doesn't claim any special powers but he has seen special things in the past and he hasn't been wrong yet. Robin asked what he's not been wrong about. Howard said he's not sure.
Howard said what if JD and Riley did a duet. He played a song parody that someone made doing his JD impression with someone doing a Riley impression along with that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about how gay Benjy is. He said Elisa looks like she must have some of the greatest tits ever. He said Benjy is doing nothing. He said he's gay. Benjy said Elisa is the most beautiful woman he's ever seen in his life. The caller asked why he's not fucking her then. Howard said they went over this already this morning. He told him to listen to the replay.
Howard took another call from a guy who said they need to have that hypnotist in every day to have Ronnie be a different person every day. Howard played some audio drops of Ronnie laughing and making sounds from that hypnosis earlier.
Howard said he should get to the news. Fred said they should take a quick break. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin started her news talking about how people think smoking pot at the White House is the greatest thing. Robin said Snoop Dogg was there and he was bragging about smoking there. Howard said he hasn't seen Snoop in a long time. Robin said he's gone on to higher things since he was last there. Robin said he was on Jimmy Kimmel's show when he revealed the smoking thing. Robin had a clip of Snoop talking about that.
Robin read about how Richard Gere is single now. Robin said he's been seen out with a new woman though.
Robin read about Billy Joel being honored by the Library of Congress. Robin said he got the Gershwin prize for popular song. Howard asked what he has to do to get the award. Robin said she's not sure what the ceremony is but he picked it up yesterday.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was listening to 101 yesterday and he asked if he was single during the playboy mansion visit. Howard said he can't remember. Howard said he doesn't remember anything. He said it's all a blur. He said if you can't get laid at the Playboy mansion you can't get laid. The caller said Benjy can't get laid with Elisa. Howard said he remembers Benjy jumping in the pool naked at the Playboy mansion. Howard said there was a lot of activity there. Howard said at one point he was married but he doesn't remember the time line or anything.
The caller said Elisa sounds like she could be a sex line operator or something. Howard thanked the guy for his call and let him go.
Howard said there is something wrong with Benjy and Elisa. Benjy said they have had regular sexual activity. He said she's just not happy. Howard said he wants to be with a chick who doesn't want to fuck him. Howard said he knows women who are beaten every day who want to have sex. Howard said Elisa doesn't want to fuck Benjy and she found an excuse not to. Benjy said it's not like that. Howard said she should want it for her own pleasure. Benjy asked if women like the touching or intercourse better. Howard said Beth doesn't want him touching her. He said she wants him to fuck her. Benjy asked if he's sure. Howard said of course he is.
Benjy said he loves Elisa and that's what matters. He said the sex thing doesn't matter. Howard asked why he would marry a woman who can go a year without fucking him. Benjy said he loves being with her and they are working on the relationship. Howard said there are lots of times Beth isn't in the mood but they won't go for a year. He said it might go for 3 days. Howard said they both want to have sex. Howard said she wants it and he wants it.
Benjy asked what he should do. Howard said he should really talk to someone and go into couples counseling if they want to stay together. Howard said Benjy is out in Lala land with this whole thing. Howard said if she's saying no to sex then there's something wrong. Benjy said they've had great moments. He said that they do things before he gets the chance to get the condom. Howard said he doesn't know what to tell him.
Robin read about how Sharknado 2 is coming out on July 30th. Howard said that's good news for Benjy. Robin read some details about who is in the movie other than Benjy. Robin read about some of the D-list celebrities they dug up to put in the movie. Howard said the best thing that could happen to Benjy is for a shark to really eat him.
Robin read an article about how 40 percent of married people don't have sex at all. Benjy said that he and Elisa both orgasm. Howard said that's some marriage Benjy has going on over there. Howard asked if that sounds like a good thing to Benjy. He said no if that's what they want.
Robin read a story about a man who got a breathing lung transplant. Robin said these lungs are still functioning when they get transported out of state. Robin said this man was the first volunteer in Indiana. Robin said he says he's feeling great after the transplant. Robin had a clip of the patient talking about how he's feeling.
Robin said they have new commercials out now for anti-cigarette smoking and they are very hard to watch. Robin said there was one where a guy showed the aftermath of his gum disease. Robin said there's another one where a guy has a blow hole and he explains how hard it is to have one. Robin said he takes this thing with a spike on the end of it and shows how you have to clean the hole two times a day. Howard said anyone who smokes now is a maniac. Howard said he's not sure how Keith Richards is still alive. Howard said he has no idea how he outlived all of the Ramones.
Robin asked Howard if he's stuck in a car for days and the person next to you is going to die, when do you want them to die. Howard said if they die right away they will stink. He said if they don't then they will complain. Howard said he thinks he's rather have them die right away. Robin read about how a woman was stuck in her car for 12 hours with a dead passenger. Robin said the car tumbled down an embankment. Robin said the passenger died in the accident. Howard said it all depends on who the person is. He said he'd want to say goodbye to Robin. He said if it was Benjy he'd want him to die right away.
Robin read a story about a study that was done that found that people who lost a mother or father during their childhood years are more likely to die younger. Howard said his mom lost her mom when she was 9 and she's still around. He said her sister died at a young age though. Howard said that has to have some sort of impact.
Robin read about the Malaysian airline that was shot down and how the rebels probably shot it down by mistake. Howard said he believes that. Howard said they don't know what they're shooting at. Robin said Russia is denying having anything to do with it. Robin said the bodies are arriving in the Netherlands today. Robin said over 190 of the victims were Dutch. Robin said one of the people they lost was an AIDS researcher. Robin said she found out that the reason they continue to fly over the Ukraine is to save fuel. Howard said absolutely they do. Howard said that area is highly traveled. He said it's a shortcut. Robin said that's the saddest thing of all. Howard said the black box was a big issue too. He said that ended up with the Malaysians. Howard said just look at what happened with the last flight that disappeared. Robin said they should check to see if they still have plans in the air. Robin said they aren't sure how many bodies have been found so far.
Robin read about how John Kerry is flying into Israel to try to help out with the cease fire over there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said there was an article the other day about a lady who got an email from her husband about how much sex they were having. He had all of the excuses she had. He wondered if Sal ever did that. Howard said he's not sure. He said that he's sure guys like Benjy know what that's like and they hear the same excuses all the time. Robin said she read that article the guy is talking about. He said she'd say she was sweaty from the gym but she didn't want to shower.
Howard asked Sal to come in and say what he thinks about this Benjy thing. Sal said that she's obviously sick of him and she's emotionally detached from him. Sal said he has had sex in the past year with his wife. He said his wife is locked in to him though. Sal said just imagine if Benjy had kids and had to come home and never have sex. Sal said his wife treats his cock like battery acid now. He said she's actually good about it lately.
The caller asked if Sal kept track of his wife's excuses. Sal said he didn't but they were things like she had a headache or she just wasn't in the mood. Benjy said when Elisa is in the mood to fool around she indicates it. Benjy said they do fool around. Howard asked when he last got laid. Benjy said it was about a month ago on an Amtrak train. Howard said before that it was like 8 months. Sal said he loves Benjy but he should just move on. He said he thinks he's awesome and he should be with someone else. Benjy said he loves Elisa and he loves spending time with her so what should he do. Howard told Sal he can leave.
Sal said he knows a woman who lets her pussy get stinky so her husband won't fuck her. Howard said he would rather be with a 5 who will fuck him silly than with a 10 who won't. Howard said Sal would fuck Tan Mon. Sal said he would do it all day from behind. Sal said Elisa is throwing in the towel and saying she doesn't want to fuck him. Benjy said she's not throwing in the towel.
Robin read about how Apple is being sued by employees who claim that they weren't given breaks that they were supposed to get. Howard said that's cool that they won't even let you pee. Howard said you piss before you come to work.
Robin read about how the American flags on the Brooklyn Bridge are being replaced with white flags. Robin said they're not sure who is doing it but it appears they are just bleached out American flags. Robin said they think that someone with construction or bridge climbing ability is able to do it. Howard said he likes that it's being done. Howard said they have police there and no one sees this happening. Howard said this is a good thing because it points out that if it was a terrorist no one would know. Howard said this is a warning. He said that there were multiple attempts on the World Trade Center before 9/11. He said that those fucks got away with it on 9/11. He said someone got on the bridge and did this flag thing with no one seeing it. He said he has to thank this person for doing it.
Robin said a doctor is warning people about a powdered caffeine that is dangerous to use. Robin had some audio of the doctor talking about how dangerous this stuff is. Howard said he has no caffeine whatsoever. Howard said he and his daughter were out to dinner and he had hot water with mint in it for dessert. Robin said she has never had that. Howard said it's delicious. Howard said no one needs caffeine. Howard said he sees the judges on AGT with their Starbucks every minute. Howard said he doesn't need a pick me up like they do. Howard said he does Transcendental Meditation and that picks him up. He said it can't be right to need coffee to pick you up. Howard said Howie can drink that shit because he works out so much.
Robin read a story about San Diego Comic-Con and how they're asking people to stay away from Sea World. Howard said he wants to ask the judges next week about their caffeine intake. He said they'll be on the show next week.
Robin read about how PETA is going to have an ad campaign to keep people from going to Sea World. Robin said they're targeting visitors of Comic-Con. Robin had some audio of someone commenting on that. Howard said he's afraid that Sea World is going to catch Jason while he's out there and put him in a tank with a beach ball on his nose.
Robin read about how they're saying that people should read poetry to their child while it's in the womb. Howard said his mom never read to him or his sister. He said they never thought to do that. Robin said they say that babies will respond to stories read aloud to their children while they're in the womb. Howard did his impression of his mom reading a poem to him. Howard said he was never read a story at all when he was a kid. He said his mother just shut the door and turned out the lights. He said he was afraid to leave his room because there was a bigger nightmare going on in the hall. Howard said it was like they were at war with him. Robin asked why they had him. Howard asked if she was in the psychiatrist's office with him yesterday. Robin said it didn't seem they wanted to have any fun with him. Howard said he does wonder why they had children. Howard went into his mother's voice again and told stories about how awful their childhoods were. Howard said he made up none of that. He said his dad had two left shoes. He said you hear those stories and you're afraid to leave the house.
Robin read a story about Tony Dungy's statements and how he's elaborating on what he said. Robin said he was clarifying his statement saying that he wouldn't want to deal with the distractions of having a gay player coming out on his team.
Howard took a call from a guy who said maybe Elisa is fucking someone else. He said maybe she's the one hooking up with JD. Howard said it's possible she's with someone but he's not sure. Howard said she could be picked up by someone else at any moment. Howard said that she's so repulsed by Benjy that she's given it up. The caller said he and his girl hate each other but they still bang like crazy. He also said the hypnosis thing today was great. Howard thanked him for that.
Robin read about how the Denver Broncos owner is releasing ownership of the team because he has Alzheimer's. Robin said that the sale of the team is up in the air right now.
Robin read a story about how Doc Rivers will quit if Donald Sterling still owns the L.A. Clippers next season.
Robin read a story about Mel B being on Jimmy Fallon's show last night. Robin had some audio of her talking about how she got her nickname of Scary Spice. Howard said he would have called her Big Titty Spice. Howard said Posh should have been called Cunty Spice.
Robin read about how Ricky Gervais was telling David Letterman not to retire. Robin had some audio of Ricky talking to Dave about how he gets paid to just sit down and listen to people talk.
Robin read a story about the new Hercules movie. Robin said Dwayne Johnson is playing Hercules. She had a clip of him talking about the part and also talking about some of the other actors who played the part. Howard and Robin spent a minute talking about how bad the other actors were who played Hercules in the past. Robin said the director said no one else could have played this part. Howard said no one else wanted to.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 10:15am.
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Jon said they'll talk about other things that happened today on the show but this is what they're going to talk about right now. Jon said that Scott was explaining getting into that hypnotic state and you don't pay attention to anything else. He said the power of suggestion is always there. He said Ronnie was in and he was in deep. Jon said he did a really good job. He said Ronnie was laughing so hard he didn't think he was going to get anywhere.
Gary said it was like he was giving director's commentary. Jon said it was an odd sort of thing but maybe that's where your mind goes when you're hypnotized. Jon said Ronnie is going to come down but there are indications that he enjoys things like women enjoy. He likes having his tits tickled. Jon said that he couldn't tell if he wanted to play both sides of he fence. He said the ass play was resolving a lot of the problems in his fantasy.
Jon said JD was in and he was holding hands with Ronnie and it was very awkward. Gary said he thought it was odd that he came up with the name Madeline. He said it's an old fashioned name because Ronnie is an older guy.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Ronnie blew a load during that thing. Jon said they'll ask him when he comes in.
Jon said he is fascinated about the tune ups Sal is getting with Scott. He said if it works for him it's great but he'd like to know more about it. He said that he thinks if you want to be led down that road you can be easily read. He said he's sure Scott is giving Sal the feedback he needs to hear. Gary said he thinks that hypnotism is real but some people can't be hypnotized. He said that he has tried it and it doesn't work. He said he went to another place where it did work. Gary said he has a fear of not hearing the show live and how he may need to hear something to respond to.
Gary said the time he did it where it worked was years ago when he went to lose weight. He said that was with Paul McKenna. Gary said he felt himself going under and he felt himself going out. He said in his mind 4 minutes went by and it turned out 40 minutes went by and he didn't realize it. Jon said he believes it can happen. Jon said he wonders who wouldn't want to be hypnotized there.
Jon asked JD if he has a hard time believing in it. JD said they tried it and nothing happened. He said maybe he fought it too much. He said he's worried about someone getting inside his head. JD said he doesn't want to ride the Sybian with a wig on.
Benjy asked if he is capable of doing it. JD said he doesn't want to find out. Gary said he could probably do it if it was outside the show. JD said he's not interested in it at all.
Jon asked JD what he liked most about the Ronnie thing. JD said it's just funny. He said he could see he was just laid back and groggy. Jon said he imagines that's what they would see if Ronnie ever got stoned.
Gary said you could tell that's what Ronnie really wants in his life. Jon asked why he was laughing so much. Gary said it was like the best night of his life. Benjy said he thought it was a really sexy story.
Jon said Ronnie made a point to make sure they knew it was a real red head. He said that he kept getting back to the Monopoly game. JD said that maybe it was like edging which is where you get close to cumming and you stop. Benjy asked JD if he's an edger. JD said he's not. He said he doesn't like to be teased.
Jon said the fantasy seemed like it could go on for days and days. He said they kept going back to the Monopoly thing. Gary said it's the world's most boring game. He said you wonder how you can end it after the first 20 minutes. Gary said that you just start giving money away.
JD said maybe something happened to Ronnie with a Monopoly board. Ronnie came in so Jon asked if something happened with that game at some point. Ronnie said he did play the game with a drunk chick once. He said nothing really happened though. Benjy asked if it tapped into something from his childhood.
Jon asked Ronnie what game piece he plays when he plays. Ronnie said Scott bought him a board a few years ago. It's a NASCAR set. He said he's never opened the box though. Jon said he figured that Ronnie would play the car. JD said he's always the top hat. He said it's the one he always picked as a kid. Gary said he just lets everyone pick and then he'll take whatever is left over.
Jon asked Ronnie what he remembers about what he talked about today. Ronnie said he remembers bits and pieces of it. He said it was like waking up from a dream when he came out of it today. He said he remembers parts about being with the girls on the floor and things like that. He said he doesn't remember much about the Monopoly game. Ronnie said he remembers sitting at the table starting to drink but that was about it. He said it's really crazy.
Jon said Ronnie went to ass play when he wanted to get out of a situation. Jon said he had a lot going on there. Ronnie said it was the time of his life. Jon said that they're wondering about the Monopoly game. Ronnie said that's where they were drinking. He said it was like going to the bar and going into the back room or something.
Jon said Ronnie kept pointing out that the red head was a real red head. Ronnie said there's a thing about them that says that they're wild in bed. Ronnie said he's only experienced one in his lifetime. Benjy asked if he was a red head. Ronnie said sort of. He said his hair was pretty red when he was younger. He said it's more red than it is now.
Jon asked if he had freckles too. Ronnie said he doesn't have any on his face but he does on the rest of his body.
Jon asked if it was tough to go under. Ronnie said he was up late the night before and when he started to work him over he almost went out. Jon said Ronnie appeared to be almost asleep on the couch when he first got in there.
Gary asked if this was a fantasy or was it about things he's already done. Ronnie said it might have been a combination. Ronnie said that the two girls thing isn't what he's done but he's done something similar.
Jon took a call from a guy who said what undermined today's segment is that Ronnie is a company man and he's reinforcing a persona. He said it's hard to tell the difference between real and shtick. Ronnie said if he saw it he thinks he'd believe it.
Jon said someone asked earlier if he came in his pants during that segment. Ronnie said he didn't but he had to piss. Jon said he was sweating a lot too. Ronnie said that he really was and maybe his body thought that he was really doing it with the girls.
Jon asked JD how sweaty he was. JD said it was like he had licked his palms. Ronnie said they were really clammy. They went to break a short time after that.
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Gary said that he thinks that Howard wants him to get help or get out of the relationship. Benjy said he has things to work out and he's trying to get to them.
Jon said Howard was saying that he thinks it's over for Benjy if Elisa isn't sleeping with him. Benjy said there has been sex in the past couple of months. He said some things have changed.
Ronnie asked if he's broken up and just friends then why is he having any kind of sex at all. He said the relationship can't end if he's still getting a blow job. Benjy said this has all happened in the last week. He said they haven't fooled around the last 6 days. Ronnie said he has said that they are having some kind of relations. Benjy said they hung out yesterday and they were both working and hanging out.
Jon asked JD how he'd handle this. JD said it depends on how much he loves the girl. He said he'd try what he could to keep it going. Jon asked if the intercourse stopped would it be a deal breaker. JD said if she wasn't into him then he'd have to figure out what to do.
Benjy said he and Elisa have had problems and he's open to figuring it out. Gary said they haven't taken time apart and that's what she said she wanted to do. Benjy said that they like being around each other. He said that this all gets more confusing because of the show. Gary said that there are mixed signals there though. He said usually people separate but they haven't really done that. Benjy said he doesn't think they're confused about it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves the show. He wanted to weigh in on this. He said it's agonizing hearing him talk about this. He said he's wondering if the fingering a couple weeks ago had anything to do with this. He said obviously he was having problems and he was trying to get Elisa on the show. Benjy said she's been on the show for 2 years now. He said that he always wants good things for Elisa. He said that's not going to change.
Ronnie asked Benjy if he really thinks that and he's not ready to give her the life she wants, wouldn't he walk away. Benjy said that's what Robin brought up today. He said it is a question in his mind if he should walk away or stay in her life. Ronnie said maybe he's being selfish. Gary said he's thinking of that song Torn and how the woman who wrote it was explaining what it was about. Gary said the guy couldn't commit and she got to a point where she had to walk away and then the guy was ready. Gary said she was torn over that. Jon said they might be at the point where they have to get away from each other and figure out where they're at. they had to go to break after that.
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Jason said that Jim Lee and Brian Michael Bendis are huge Stern fans too. JD said he bought some comic book t-shirts to fit in out there. He said he'll be wearing a Superman t-shirt. Jason said they're doing a signing from 2pm to 3:30 Pacific at some booth out there.
Steve Brandano said this is like first time Van Halen fans wearing a Van Halen t-shirt to a concert. Gary said his Marvel t-shirt has been in his closet for years just waiting for this. Steve said that shirt is almost acceptable. JD said he didn't care if his wasn't.
Jason said that all of the information is on Howard's web site and all of their social media. He said use the hashtag #HowardCon and they'll find you too.
Gary said they have a guest in the studio. He said the head of the PGA is a superfan of the show. His name is Pete Bevacqua. Pete said that he's a superfan. He knew who Will Murray was and he knew he had the highest IQ.
Pete said that they love having a good time out there but there's a fine line about when and where to yell out Baba Booey. He said if it's done at the proper time that's fine. He said that they love the passion and excitement. He said that they want golf to be as inclusive as it can be. Pete said that Gary has been taking golf lessons. Gary said he has and he's gotten better. Jon asked if Gary is going to be to the PGA what Scott the Engineer is to bowling. Gary said no. He said he just got into it.
Gary said his son plays a lot of golf and he wonders if they can get into a lot of these games. Jason said that they have great food at the country clubs so that's what he loves about it.
Pete said that he's not sure Howard hit the ball 300 yards like he thought he did. He said it may have gone 220 yards or so.
Pete talked about some of the tournaments and how they plan ahead and he mentioned 10 years. Gary said that's amazing they plan that far ahead.
Benjy asked if Pete has ever Baba Booey'd. Pete said he has but not at a tournament. Shuli asked if there are any other phrases he'd like to hear at the games. Gary said there is no substitute for Baba Booey. Shuli said there are plenty of other things they could yell out.
Jason asked if the announcers are that close to the players that they have to whisper. Pete said they are. He said there are some who are in the booths and if you raise your voice it can interfere with the play. He said they're whispering on purpose.
Benjy asked if the LPGA has the same thoughts on Baba Booey that the PGA has. Pete said he's not sure and he'd have to ask the head of the LPGA. Pete said it's just best to be careful when you yell out the Baba Booey thing.
Ronnie said if you want to yell out at a sporting event then go to a NASCAR race and yell out anything you want.
Jon thanked Pete for coming in. Gary said he's thinking of doing a Baba Booey invitational to raise money for Lifebeat. He said Keegan Bradley has already committed to showing up. Pete said they're happy Gary is taking to the game. He said that they'll be back to New York in the near future. He said that they can help him with his outing in memory of his brother too.
Gary said that he has been asked to play on some of the best courses in the country and now maybe he'll get to go.
Jon had Shuli get to some news headlines. Shuli mentioned that the Nicole Bass date came and went. He said she thought the date was the day after so she missed it. Shuli said they've rescheduled it. Shuli said that it will happen. Gary said Steve was the one who chaperoned the date and he and Zack went out together instead.
Shuli got in some plugs for the Comic-Con event and how the guys will be out there. He also plugged today's Leiberman Live show that's on at 4:45 today.
Jon wrapped up the show and had the guys get in their plugs. They were done around 11:20am.
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