For the week of 12/08/2014 to 12/12/2014

• Howard's 42 Hour Illness And Some Phone Calls. 12/08/14. 6:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: A belching version of ''Jingle Bells'' performed in the Howard Stern Show studio, Lady Gaga performing ''Lush Life'' in the Howard Stern Show studio.

  Howard started the show talking about the weekend he had. He said he was so ill. He picked up a bug and got knocked on his ass on Thursday. He said by the afternoon he got the shakes and chills. He said he got nauseous and put himself to bed. He said he wasn't able to eat anything. He said he was sweaty and had a fever. Howard said he just started to feel better yesterday. He said he feels pretty good today. He said he could have used more sleep though. Howard said he's not sure what he had but he'd rather have that than a cold. He said he thinks his body was crying. Howard said he's not sure what happened but it's doing better.

  Howard said his doctor told him he probably just stood next to the wrong person. Howard said he doesn't know but it was a drag. Howard said when he works there he's always standing next to the wrong person. Howard said maybe it was a 24 hour thing that lasted 42 hours.

  Howard said Chris Rock is stopping by today. He said he has a big movie opening up. He said it's getting good reviews and Chris has said to him that it's great to get good reviews. He said he must feel some relief that it doesn't suck.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they heard about Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton making out in a club. Howard said he did follow that story. He said Patrick Schwarzenegger is dating Miley and they were in some club. He said they're always in a club. Howard said before long he was sitting there with a big smile while those two idiots were making out. Howard said it's not hot to him. He said he finds Miley kind of gross. He said she's like a fidget and not a hot chick. Howard said she seems like a little girl trying to be womanly. Howard said Paris is a nice looking girl but every time he's seen her interviewed he thinks she comes off like a moron. Howard said she functions better than a moron. He said he shouldn't say this but it's like two people who only have making out with each other.

  Howard said he was thinking about Patrick Schwarzenegger too. He said the Kennedy's want their kids to be public servants and this kid is out doing this. Howard said his mother must be thinking he's going to waste away with her. Howard said that whole thing just grossed him out. He said it used to turn him on but not this. Howard said he wondered if they were going down on each other in front of this kid. He said maybe it had to do with his actually being sick. Howard said it all just seems sad to him.

  Howard said that these kids are exposed to a lot of paths in their life and they can be whatever they want to be. Howard said he could be an actor or something like that. Robin asked why he has to be something special. Howard said he doesn't. He said he could be a waiter. He said the whole thing just made him sad. He said he felt bad for Maria Shriver and even for Miley Cyrus. Howard said she has talent with her dancing and singing. He said at the end of the day she's making out in a club to impress Patrick Schwarzenegger. Howard said Paris Hilton is another mess.

  The caller asked if Paris is washed up. Howard said he's still interested in her. He said he'll tune in to see her on a talk show. Howard said he thinks she's a train wreck. He said he's made a career out of watching train wrecks. Howard said he found that whole thing boring and not so hot.

  The caller said Howard used to talk about getting turned on by that stuff. Howard said right now it's not hot to him. That's all he's saying.

  The caller said a long time ago Fred would randomly disappear on the show. Howard said he found out that he was going off and recording things. The caller said he thought maybe he was going out to smoke pot. Howard said Fred doesn't do that. Robin said she smoked pot over in Amsterdam over Thanksgiving weekend. Howard had forgotten about her going over there. Howard asked if she's afraid of throwing her body off by doing that. Robin was laughing and saying that life really doesn't mean anything. She asked Howard what it means. Howard said he doesn't know. Howard said to him it means his children and his friends. He said it means his wife and he enjoys getting up every morning and being part of the world. He said that he has different hobbies and things. Robin asked what it all comes to. Howard said it's pretty remarkable. He said he'd like to be healthy and enjoy it. Howard said after a scare he doesn't think that she should be risking it. Robin said she thinks you should do whatever you think you should do. Howard said that's irresponsible. Howard said he'll spank her later.

  Robin said she hates pot and only took two hits. Robin said she forgot that she disliked the high. Robin said that's why she doesn't smoke that crap. Robin said she hadn't done it in 40 years. Robin said she did that with her nephew. Robin said he doesn't do anything and he wanted to try it. Howard said she's some role model. Howard said he sees the path he's going to go down thanks to her. Robin laughed. Howard said he's a little shocked by that.

  Howard said he thinks that Miley and Paris should go off and do that making out thing in private. Howard said that Miley has some talent while Paris and Patrick were born rich. Howard said Miley should tell them to fuck off. He said they're just rich kids. Howard said he didn't sit around trying to impress rich kids.

• Howard Remembers WCCC. 12/08/14. 6:20am
  Howard said he read a report in the paper about WCCC in Hartford, Connecticut. Howard said they were a rock station up there and he went on the air and said goodbye. Howard said he was seeing that the station 106.9 is now an online radio station. Howard said that's so dreary. Howard said it's so sad. Howard said they were so cook when it was a rock station. Howard said he feels bad for people who want to get into radio. He said an online station isn't the same as a real radio station. Robin said it might be a good place to get experience. Howard said internet radio is bull shit right now. Howard said it used to be great to have actual listeners. Howard said that it was a shared experience when everyone would tune in. Howard said in Hartford there weren't enough kids to support the station. He said it became a religious station. Howard said popular music just sucks.

  Howard said he's not sure how they blew it up there. Howard said they were a monster when they were doing mornings up there. Howard said that he loves broadcasting and it's been great for his life. Howard said one of the highlights of his life was when he was working at WRNW. He said he wanted a real job with real ratings and he put in a lot of time there. Howard said then he got the job at WCCC and it was a real feather in his cap. He said that they had a rating book and all of that. He said he could compete there. Howard said they had a lot going on there. Howard said now he's not sure where you get a start in radio. He said you can pretend that someone is listening on an internet radio station.

  Robin said that is a shame. She said times do change though. Howard asked Fred if he ever goes back to Hartford. Fred said he really doesn't go near it. He said he used to go through there. He said he just listens to Sirius when he's driving though so he never listens to radio stations.

  Howard played a Bill Cosby Christmas Album commercial parody and then went to break.

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• Howard Announces His America's Got Talent Decision. 12/08/14. 6:30am
  After the break Howard came right back and asked Fred what he was going to play. Fred gave Howard a choice of songs. Howard said he liked ''Figure it Out'' by Royal Blood. Howard said they're opening for the Foo Fighters. Howard said he didn't go to the Foo Fighters show on Friday night. He said he was ill. Howard said Ross Zapin and Natalie Maines were sending him updates. He said he missed that but tonight at 10pm they will be airing the concert. He said Gary was there and he said they had a great connection with the audience.

  Fred played ''Figure it Out'' by Royal Blood and said it's crazy that its's just two guys laying in this song. Robin asked if they were just two guys who weren't able to get anyone else to join the band or is that what they wanted it to sound like. Howard said he thinks they're scary talented and that's what they wanted. Howard said that's his fantasy.

  Howard said Dave Grohl mentioned him on stage. Howard said that he mentioned the Prince story about him turning out the lights. He said that Natalie Maines told him about that. He said that will be part of the show tonight.

  Howard took a call from Gonzo Shitcock who hadn't called in for a while. Gonzo said that he's wondering what's going on with AGT. Howard said he knows what he's doing. He said he'll make that announcement now. Howard said he has been talking with them and he was a little unsure if he should go back or not. Howard said it's not anything they did. Howard said they have plans for their 10 year anniversary. He said they're changing things up and it all sounded pretty good to him so he signed up for another year. He said he will be back on America's Got Talent. He said he was feeling jealous that if he didn't go back the rest of them would and he'd miss something. Howard said he wasn't going to do but then Benjy told him not to and he did the opposite.

  Gonzo asked if the other judges are coming back too. Howard said he doesn't know yet. Howard said he thinks that they will decide after he made his decision. Howard said he thinks they'll be back at Radio City but he's not sure. Howard said he isn't going anywhere but Radio City so they had better have that buttoned up. Howard said he thinks Nick Cannon will be back. Robin said she thinks that he is.

  Howard said he likes doing that show because he doesn't have to make any decisions. Howard said he can judge and he will react to what the other ones say. Howard said that's it.

  Gonzo asked about Robin being a judge. Howard said he has nothing to do with that decision. Howard said that the show is owned by a few companies and they decide. Howard said he likes working with Howie, Mel B and Heidi. He said that's how he leaves it. Howard said he just says they're great. Howard said if they want to change them he's fine with that. He said it's up to them.

  Gonzo said he thinks that it should be Howard, Fred and Robin. Howard said he really has to go. He said he's annoying the fuck out of him. Robin said she sounds aggravated today. Howard said he's aggravated.

  Howard played an America's Got Talent commercial parody. He said get ready for another season. He said he enjoys working with those three. He said that's what he told them. Robin said those pictures of Heidi in the string bikini kept popping up. Howard said that was a bad move. He said she doesn't look good in those pictures. Howard said she's in the Daily Mail every day. He said he told her to calm down. Howard said she says she doesn't call them and they just show up. Howard said he told her that he knows she calls them. Howard said that she's in full makeup walking around. He said it's obvious that she has a relationship with the Daily Mail. Howard said Mel B has the same thing going on. He said he gets caught once in a while on vacation but it's rare. Howard said they're in there all the time.

  Howard said that bikini just wasn't good on Heidi. He said that she's a stunning 42 year old. Howard said that her job is to look exceptional. Howard said she does that job fine. Howard said that you don't go out in a string bikini when things could go horribly wrong. Howard said she didn't want that out there. He said he's sure she was mortified by those pictures. Robin said that's a shame. Howard said he saw her photographed somewhere and she looked really good but then you think about that bikini shot. Howard said he tries to advise people but they don't listen to him.

  Howard said that they don't need to be photographed every day. He said maybe once a week. He said it's good to keep a little mystery. Howard said that you should make sure you're at your best too.

  Howard took a call from Tommy from Malden. He asked about the show Media Buzz and if he saw it this past weekend. Howard said he didn't see it. He said that he does watch it usually. Howard said he likes a lot of shows on FOX News. Howard said that they do TV really well. Howard said he likes political discussion. He said he isn't affected by their opinions. Howard said he likes Howie Kurtz and The Five. Tommy said he saw Andrea Tantauro and he thought she was hot but then he saw her and he thinks that she has a bitchy face. Howard said that there's another blonde on there who takes the place of Elisabeth Hasselbeck who is hot. Howard said they know how to hire women. Howard said they don't even bother with journalists.

  Tommy said he noticed that the girl wasn't on Howie's show. Howard said that he's in minutia now. He said he's in Benjy-ville.

  Tommy said Cat Stevens was on a show over the weekend and he seems to be pretty cool now and not so much of a radical. Howard thanked him for the call and played him off with a theme song. Howard also played a ''Howard Stern Show the Board Game'' commercial parody and then a Fingering Tip from Big Foot. They went to break after that.

• TV Show Discussions. 12/08/14. 6:55am
  After the break they played a ''Barbara Walters 10 Least Fascinating People'' with Hanzi bit. They also played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a taxi company as Santa looking for a ride. Fred also played Neil Young and Crazy Horse ''Cinnamon Girl'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and sang along with the song Fred was playing. Howard said he tried watching Peter Pan over the weekend. Robin said she did too. Howard asked why Peter Pan has to be played by a girl. Robin said she's not sure because it doesn't come off very well. Robin said it must be confusing to little kids. Howard said he was like the hottest boy ever. Howard said that he wasn't able to sit through it. He said NBC had a success with Carrie Underwood doing the Sound of Music. Howard said they didn't have any big stars in this Peter Pan. He said they had Christopher Walken and Allison Williams. Robin said she's not sure why they didn't pick someone to play Peter Pan who people would want to see sing. Howard said maybe Justin Bieber could play Peter Pan. Howard said it doesn't make sense to have a girl play a boy. Robin said it's a tradition now. Howard said it doesn't make sense. It's stupid. Robin said that it's always been grown women. Howard said Mary Martin was like an 80 year old woman playing a boy.

  Howard said plays done live on TV don't look polished and that's what kids want to see. They want a polished TV show. Howard said that you want to think that Peter Pan is a boy too.

  Howard said that Joni Mitchell can't sing anymore and she's ill. Howard said they say that she's got something called Morgellons Disease. Howard said the article says that she can't heat her swimming pool because she can't make money singing. Howard said she's 71. Howard said that not everyone gets to maintain that voice. Howard said he tried listening to her the other day. He said her music is too depressing though. Robin said he usually loves a good depressing song. Howard said not that stuff. Robin said it can get pretty bad. She said she can get you down.

  Howard said he was watching The Affair while he was sick. He said the show is really good. Robin said it really is. Howard said that he watched the tribute to Bruce Springsteen too. Howard said he thought that the country stars were the best at singing Bruce's songs. Howard said that some of the performances were just okay. Robin said she hasn't watched all of the performances. Howard said that Mumford and Sons were really good. Natalie Maines was really good. Howard mentioned a few other performances he liked. Howard said he doesn't get country music guys wearing cowboy hats. He doesn't get that. Robin said they have to wear a certain kind of dress. Robin said that it's the same look. He said he's not sure why they have to do that. Howard said maybe their fans demand it.

  Howard said they have tape of Big Foot orgasming. Howard said they asked him to tell them what that sounds like. Howard played the clip and Big Foot said ''I'm coming'' and moaned a bit. Howard said that Benjy is going to be interviewing him next week. He played a bumper for that upcoming interview.

• Phone Calls, A Benjy Update And More. 12/08/14. 7:05am
  Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who was screaming about Howard signing on to do AGT again. Mariann asked if she's the queen again. Howard said that her whole summer is taken up with that. Howard said she can come and wear her crown. Mariann screamed. Mariann said that she's so excited. Mariann said that Robin can't smoke weed after everything that went on.

  Mariann said that she heard that Benjy and Elisa broke up big time. She said he's looking for an apartment. Mariann was going on and on with Robin too so Howard let her go.

  Howard asked Benjy what's going on with him and Elisa. Benjy said it's the same thing. He said that he's not looking to date. He said he won't date for 6 months to a year. He said he wants to deal with what's going on in his life. Howard said he means ''nothing''. Howard told Benjy to go get a girlfriend. He said he doesn't have to fuck 87 women he meets randomly. He said he can go date someone normal and not into a weird scene. Benjy said that was Elisa. He said he has to work on himself. Howard said that's good enough.

  Howard played a voice mail from a guy who said that he was so incensed by Benjy and how annoying he is. He went off on him for a minute. Howard also played an Evil Dave voice mail that they got.

  Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if he has ever gone to a Hollywood party with Beth and he was across the room and saw people coming on to her. Howard said many times. Bobo asked how he handled it. Howard said he just watched. Howard said he has seen famous guys come on to her and it's mostly married guys who aren't that happy in their marriage. Howard said they must think they can get her away from him. He said they get her into a heavy conversation. He said he's seen it go down. Howard said sometimes it's just a conversation. He said it's now always them trying to steal her away. Howard said he hasn't seen them try to get her number.

  Howard said he does have some great stories about guys who tried to pick her up. Howard said that one famous guy said to her ''I can't believe you're with him.'' right in front of his face. Howard said he got in his face and said that's the way it goes. Howard said he won't say who that was. Howard said maybe one day he will. Howard said there was another very prominent guy who was commenting on her in a sexual way and a friend came over and told him what he was saying. Howard said this was a very famous guy. Howard said they have a lot of famous people who are just nice to her because they like her. Howard said if Beth wants to run off with another guy he can't stop her. Howard said that you don't own someone so there's nothing you can do if they want to leave you

  Howard said he loves when Blue Iris would just go ''Yeah'' in that special way she did that. Howard said he loved that. Fred played a clip of that. Howard said that he was sick with fever over the weekend thinking about that.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he saw Nicki Minaj in her outfit in the second set on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he did. He said she had a black negligee on and it was very tight. Howard said she scares him in a way. He said she seems very angry and he doesn't get her. Howard said she has a gorgeous face but that Tuchas is just like Kim Kardashian. Howard said she has a gigantic ass. Howard said it's ridiculous. Howard said only 3 people on the planet have that. He said it's her, Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Lopez. He said it's like a planet. Howard said it takes your breath away. Howard said that it's too big for him. He said it's not even sexual. Howard said she has a beautiful face though. Howard said that the negligee scared him. He said he was scared of her.

  Howard asked if anyone there found it attractive. JD chimed in and said he did. Howard said that it looks like it could be an implant but he can't imagine anyone doing that to her body. JD said there are people who say that Kim Kardashian's is fake. Howard said it scared him and he didn't find it attractive at all. The caller said he liked it when she turned around. Howard said it's a freak show. Howard said as a man it's too much for him. He said he's not sure what to make of that. He said it's freakish.

  The caller asked if Robin would look good in that. Howard said she thinks she'd fill that out nicely. Robin said she was watching Wendy Williams one day and she was saying that you can't have big breasts and a big ass. You can only have one or the other. Howard said that there has to be cellulite on that ass. He said you can't have something that big an not have it. Robin said she thinks that it's true that you can't have both. Robin said it doesn't look right. Howard said he never thought about it.

  Howard played a Christmas song from Stephen Hawking. He also had a tip from Big Foot about how to get rid of Scabies.

• Creepy Family Stories And The Top 5 Songs. 12/08/14. 7:20am
  Howard took a call from a guy who brought up Beth again and said that he is a truck driver and his wife was cheating on him with two different guys. He said he found out about that and she was apologetic. He said that his step son, which is her son, got arrested for child molesting. He asked if you can forgive someone for those things. Howard said there is no greater betrayal than when your woman cheats on you. Howard said that it is a betrayal and it feels lousy. Howard said when you're off driving a truck and making money for those people and then they're cheating on you it's tough. Howard said that you come home and find that out and there is no greater pain. The caller said she also took the kids to meet the guys. Howard said she might as well put a knife in his head. The caller said he's with him on that. Howard said you want to think that she won't do it again. He said that she probably said she was sorry and she won't do it again. The caller said that she did.

  Howard said that this woman has really betrayed him. Howard said the kid with the child molesting is something he can't even comment on. The caller said it's a big thing in Kentucky. He said that this kid is 31 and he raised the kid since he was born. He said that it shows how sick fucking people are. He said the guy was bringing men in from Criagslist. He said he was lying about the whole thing and saying that they could come in and screw his wife but then they'd come in and it turns out it was his granddaughter. He said he would let people come back and keep doing it.

  Howard said he had to get this right. He asked if this 31 year old had a kid that he was letting people fuck. The caller said that's it. He said it's in the papers in Kentucky. Howard said he doesn't know. He said his wife must be something else. Howard said he shouldn't ask him for advice. He said he's not even going to say what he should do. Howard said that he might be better off on his own. He said that's all he'll say. The caller, Noah, said that he hasn't talked to the 31 year old yet. He said that the father's love is always there but the hatred for what he did may overtake that.

  Howard asked Noah if he can pass his number on to Jerry Springer. He said between him and Steve he thinks that his number should be on their speed dial. Noah said he's good with that.

  Howard let Noah go and played the top 5 songs. He said number 5 was ''Animals'' by Maroon 5 and he had Big Foot singing it. Howard said number 4 was Shake it Off by Taylor Swift and he had a Bill Cosby impersonator singing that. Howard said that number 3 was Take me to the Church by Hozier. He played that song and then said number 2 was ''All about that Bass'' by Meghan Trainor. He had Big Foot singing that too. Howard said at number one is Taylor Swift's ''Blank Space.'' Howard said she has a number 1 song every day. He said that's fascinating. He played some of her song and said that's been at number 1 for 3 weeks. Howard said she's the first woman to succeed herself on the charts like that. Howard said that she must be worth a lot. Robin said she's sure she has a lot of endorsement deals too. Robin said she's seen her doing commercials.

• Another Marriage Break Up Story. 12/08/14. 7:30am
  Howard took a call from a guy who asked him to disguise his voice. Howard said it's too late now. The caller said he can tell him the story anyway. He said his wife found out that he was cheating on her when he gave her Gonorrhea. He said that she kicked him out of the house and then let him back in. He said that she wasn't going to forgive him for what he did. He said then she was talking to her dad and something had happened in 2011 at a massage parlor with him. He said that nothing sexual happened there but the cops busted in and took him in for prostitution. He said his father in law helped him out with that and the case was dismissed. He said she told her dad about what he did and then he told her about what he did in 2011 and then she wanted a divorce. He said that he fucked up and now he's going to be a man about it. He said he'll take what comes from it.

  Howard asked why he didn't just wear a rubber with the other chick. The caller said that it was very stupid of him. Howard said he will tell him something. He said guys can change. Howard said you can get crazy with the sex stuff. Howard said the wife feels betrayed and all of that. Howard said that he has two sons with her and if feels that he has changed then maybe he should try to work things out. Robin asked when the last cheating episode was. The caller said it was in 2013 in February. He said that's when he got the Gonorrhea. He said that's when she found out about it. Howard said that it's almost refreshing to hear about it since no one gets that anymore.

  Howard said if he is for real and he has changed then he should try to get her back. Howard said if he hasn't changed then he should just let her go. Howard said maybe he can work on himself and earn her trust. Howard said she's going to put him through a lot of shit though. Howard said that everyone is going to be in hear ear telling her what a piece of shit he is. Howard said that she may not take him back but it might be worth a shot. Howard said if he's been caught doing something twice then he must have been up to a lot. The caller said he wasn't though. He said that massage parlor thing was his first visit. Howard said he should talk to the family and see if he can ask for them to give him some forgiveness and have patience. He said he might have a shot at it. He said he has to put his ego aside and then whip out his dick and show how clean it is.

  Robin said that Hillary forgave Bill a bunch of times. Howard said that's a very political couple. Howard said he read that Hillary had told her dad that Bill was going to be president some day. He said this was right after she met him. Howard said that's how politically astute she was. Howard said she understood this from day one. Howard said that she masterminded his defense in all of that stuff. Howard said that her interest in him is like what Sirius had with XM. Howard said that the caller, Don, should figure out what he wants and try to work things out with the wife if he's into that. Howard said he may not be that good of a father either. Don said he is a good father. Robin said a good father doesn't do silly things that can break apart their kid's lives. Howard let Don go a short time later.

  Howard said that most guys can't stop. He said he used to smoke and he'd tell himself that he was going to quit but then he'd smoke again. He said guys say they will never do this again but they do it. Howard said if you're going to change then try to get the wife back. If you're going to cheat again then let her go. Robin said it's a way of not being that into her if you cheat.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to ask about the social uprising in the streets there in New York. He asked if he has a plan for that if things go bad. Howard said he doesn't know what he's saying. Robin said she thinks she did. Robin asked Howard if he has an exit plan if things go wrong there. Howard said he has no exit plan. Howard said if things go bad in the city he has no plan. The caller asked if he would call for a helicopter. Howard said he thinks the police can handle whatever happens. The caller said he saw a show called Doomsday Preppers. He said that they say you should have a plan. Howard said he has a plan if the show ever went down. He said he was going to become a doctor like Dr. Phil. Howard said he really doesn't have a plan. He went to break a short time later. As they went to break they played a Sexy Holiday Tip From Ronnie and Howard yodeling a song.

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• Effeminate Homophobic Pastor Audio Clips. 12/08/14. 7:50am
  After the break they played a prank call Gary the Retard made to a guy who was selling a truck. They also played a Christmas Song with an Andrew Dice Clay impersonator singing. Fred played Bruce Springsteen's ''Jungleland'' as they were coming back. He also played some of Gary's trumpet over the song toward ten end of it.

  Howard came back and said they're waiting for Chris Rock to show up. He said it's still early. He said he's not there yet. Howard said he has a lot to talk to him about. Howard said he's thirsty. Robin told him to drink something then. Howard did that.

  Robin said she saw a couple of movies called ''Nymphomaniac Volumes 1 and 2'' on Netflix. Robin said there's a lot of penis in it and there is a lot of nudity on the female side too. Howard said that chick in The Affair is really hot. Howard said he's watching it after his wife told him not to. Howard said that she may have thought that he would want to go out and have an affair. He said that he doesn't want to. Howard said that it seems like a nightmare. Howard said the two stars of the show are British but they do American accents. He said he's always amazed by that.

  Howard said he has audio of a pastor who screams about gays but he sounds gay to him. Howard said he has a lot to play but he's afraid Chris will show up. Howard played some of the audio of the Pastor talking and he sounded like a stereotypical gay man. Howard said he isn't saying he is gay because he doesn't know the guy but he had better masculine it up if he wants to speak out against gays. Howard said you have to listen to his rap too. He said he's really vicious.

  Howard played more of the pastor speaking and he was talking about it being World AIDS day. Howard let that play for a short time and said that this guy sounds like a chatty chick to him. Howard said no offense of course. Howard said he was listening to this guy and he wants the gays dead. He said that it's old school hate. He said he sounds like a young Rip Taylor. Fred played a clip of Rip saying ''Hello Frisco!'' as they were talking about that.

  Howard played more of the guy talking about how people who enjoy Elton John and people who like Keanu Reeves and Leonardo DiCaprio movies are gay. He said that they like to listen to Ricky Martin too. The guy said that he found the cure to AIDS. He said it's in the bible. He said they could be 90 percent AIDS free if they follow this. He read from the bible and said that was the cure. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he sounds awfully femme. Robin said he does sound effeminate. Robin said he's not the most manly man she's ever heard.

  Howard played more of the guy screaming about his ''no homo'' policy. Howard said he's not saying this guy is gay but he sounds it. Howard played more of the guy talking about having kids there and saying that all homos are pedophiles. Howard said that there isn't much this guy hasn't said. Robin asked if there are any heterosexual pedophiles. Howard said he's not sure this guy has thought things through.

  Howard did an impression of the guy screaming about all of that stuff. Howard said that he heard Leo DiCaprio left a club with 15 women. He said they all just left with the guy. Robin said this guy would say that's 15 beards.

  Howard played more of the pastor talking about how he has an uncle who is a homo and he's had nothing to do with him. He said that they also found out he was a pedophile. He said that he knew that he was a homo after they found out he was a pedophile. Howard asked if anyone is questioning this guy. Howard said that he calls you a homo before you can call him a homo. Howard let that clip play a little longer and the guy just goes on and on about how that wasn't a violent sermon about harming anyone. Howard said it sounds pretty harmful to him.

  Howard said heterosexuals like him don't spend that much time thinking about homosexuals. Howard said that this guy is thinking about it too much. Howard said he sounds like a guy who would like to suck a dick and have a big cock up his ass but he doesn't know for sure. Howard said he just says live and let live. Howard said anyone who wants to be gay, great. Howard said it just means more pussy for him. Howard said it makes him more desirable to women. Howard said he wishes every guy was gay except for him. He said that he'd be the only one left who loves women.

  Robin asked how Jesus gets forgotten in these things. Howard said that maybe he talks about him the next week. Howard did more of his impression of the guy with the effeminate voice. Howard said he likes the guy in the clip agreeing with him. He said he must not hear his voice.

  Howard said that he just got a note saying that Chris Rock is in the elevator and it'll be another 10 minutes. Howard said he was wondering what kind of elevator ride that is. Howard said that's a long ride. Howard said he should take a break then. Howard said that was a pastor from Arizona. Howard said he doesn't know that he's gay but he sounds gay. Howard said if you just don't watch any Keanu Reeves movies you'll be fine. He did a live commercial read after that and then went to break. As they went to break they played a Siri commercial with JD trying to get answers from it.

• Chris Rock Visits. 12/08/14. 8:15am
  After the break Howard came right back and said that people have seen Chris Rock's new movie and they like it. He said it's safe to come in. Howard said that he can actually talk about the movie. Howard said that Chris once told him that they wanted to goof on his movie and the movie was so good that they weren't able to do that. Howard asked if Chris fears that with his comedian friends. Chris said that is his fear. He said there are no excuses.

  Howard asked why he has to do a movie like that when he has so much money. Chris said he has to get out of the house. Howard said the movie thing is so much pressure though. Chris said he tries to take every job he can in New York City. He said his 12 year old daughter still likes to be around him so he wants to take advantage of that.

  Howard asked when his daughter knows he's Chris Rock the star. Chris said that the boys in school have seen everything he has done. He said they are totally on it. He said his daughter told him that Kevin Hart is much funnier than him though. He said that she told him to study Kevin Hart. Howard asked if she was doing that to get to him. Chris said he thinks that she just likes Kevin Hart. Howard said his kids wondered if he was going to be able to hold on to this when he gets older. Chris said his kids seemed to be the same way. He said they wondered if they would have money for college. He said he wasn't making them laugh so they wondered how he was going to make that happen.

  Howard asked Chris if he's the type of guy who goes to a party and he's invited because they think he's going to be funny. Howard said Billy Joel is expected to play piano. Chris said he gets that. Howard asked Chris if he goes to perform. Chris said when you're a comedian if there's a microphone there then they expect you to speak. He said if you walk by a funeral they'll ask you to speak. Chris said he goes to a graduation and they want him to speak. He said he hasn't been around a microphone and had no one ask him to speak.

  Howard asked if he would speak. Chris said he can't speak from the heart because people want to hear him be funny. He said a couple of weeks ago he was at 30 Rock and he walked by Seth Meyers show. He said he figured he could run out and have some fun there. He said he can't go up to a funeral and talk in front of strangers. Robin asked how he avoids it. Chris said he only goes to his kid's things.

  Howard said this movie ''Top Five'' and it opens on Friday. Chris asked if this is going to be a nice interview. He said that he has really liked some of the interviews he's done lately. He said he's on a whole other level. Howard thanked him for that.

  Howard said Chris has said in the past that he suffers from Dyslexia. Chris said he has never been tested but he thinks he does suffer from it. He said that if his daughter picks up a new book he panics. He said that he has a problem reading out loud. He said he always has had that problem. Chris said even at SNL he was like ''Oh no...'' Howard said he did fine there though. He said he does fine doing stand up. Howard asked if it was tough because of the cue cards. Chris said yes. Howard said he must have panicked over that. Chris said he was always panicking when he had to read those cards. Robin asked why he went and hosted. Chris said that's even harder than doing the Oscars.

  Chris told Howard that the Oscars are like a religious ceremony. He said that people worship that statute. Chris said he did the Oscars because it was a big thing to do. He said the Super Bowl is another thing he was offered to do. He said that is no place to do comedy. Chris said that the year the Janet Jackson thing happened was the year that he was asked to host. He said Joel Gallen was producing it. He said that he knew that it wouldn't work though. He said that he would have loved to have the still pictures from that day if he had done it. Chris said you have to know when to fold 'em. Howard said he has been asked to do things that he regrets doing. Howard said he can't imagine him turning down the Super Bowl.

  Chris brought up Leonardo DiCaprio and joked about him having so many chicks. Howard told Chris about an article in the paper about him having 15 chicks leaving a club with him. Chris said that mother fucker enjoys himself. He said he's out with models when he's not doing a movie. Howard said they said the girls all left the room with him when he left that club. Chris said he's Leo Fuckin' DiCaprio. Howard said the women must think they have no shot with him because he's just going to fuck them and leave. Chris said all women think their pussy is special. He said he knows he has mediocre dick at best. He said that no woman thinks her pussy is just okay. Howard said that's so true. He said he should write that down and talk more about it. Chris said that even Robin thinks that if Leo just got a little Robin Pussy it would all change. Robin said she doesn't think like that.

  Howard said it must be difficult to write, direct and even follow a script if you're dyslexia. Howard said he has to go back and watch him trying to read the cue cards on SNL. Chris said he can read but it's a problem when he reads aloud. Howard said he's not retarded. Chris said he's not but he means that in a nice way of course.

  Howard asked if the wife asks about sex scenes in a movie and if he worries about the kids seeing him in them. Chris said he has to do that scene or the kids are going to go to public school. He said that's how he explains that to them. Howard asked if he gets nervous before his wife sees the film. Chris said a little bit but his wife gets it at this point.

  Howard asked Chris about putting a lot of comedians in the movie. He asked if Louis C.K. is in it. Chris said he pulled out at the last minute. He ran down a list of other comedians who are in it. He said he has a lot of funny people in it. He said there are a lot of comedians. Howard said he must leave out some. Chris said he has a lot of guys. He said Chappelle said no. Howard asked what's up with Chappelle. Howard said he used to have him on the show all the time before his TV show. Chris said he wants to spend time with his kids. Howard said that's what he did with his kids when they were young.

  Chris said he saw Chappelle do a big show and he's amazing. Howard asked if he worries about watching a show and worries that he might steal something accidentally. Chris said that he's so good that you don't worry about that. Chris said that Dave is on a level of having a conversation where he's just telling jokes himself. Chris said that Dave gets big laughs. Howard said he hasn't seen him in a while. Chris said Dave is his favorite comedian.

  Robin said his other favorite is having some problems. She was talking about Bill Cosby. Chris said he knew that was coming. He said he can't defend and he can't go the other way either. He said that he thinks he's one of the greatest comedians ever. Robin said that Howard doesn't like Richard Pryor either. Howard said he would rather see Robert Klein. Howard said he wasn't a fan. Howard said he has seen Richard Pryor and he thinks that Robert Klein is better. Chris said even at Robert Klein they don't think that he's funnier than Richard Pryor.

  Howard asked Chris how concerned he is about box office. Chris said he is there this morning promoting it. He said that's how concerned he is.

  Howard asked Chris how he puts a movie together. Howard said he wants to know about the finances. He said he made a small film on purpose. Chris told Howard he was doing Grown Ups 2 and he didn't feel that involved in it. He said that he wanted to do another movie and he had an idea for one swirling around in his head. He said he didn't get paid to write it and he wasn't sure if it would ever see the light of day. Chris said this movie is the best he's done because he didn't give a fuck. He said he wrote it by himself and he didn't give a fuck. He said all of the other movies he did he wrote with like 5 other guys in the room. He said Louis C.K. told him he should do it this way. Howard said that's the way Louis does his show. Howard asked if he went to Seinfeld on that. Chris said he didn't. He said that Louis did an episode where Melissa Leo and Louis go on a date and she wants him to eat her pussy in the car and he refuses. He said that is the funniest shit in the world. He said that made him wonder what the fuck he's doing. He said that he realized that you can be that funny and that raw. He said it inspired him. He figured he could let it all hang out.

  Howard asked Chris how long it takes to write this script. Chris said it was a little under 3 months. He said he had a read through and they all read it aloud. He said you hear what sucks and what's good. He said then you rewrite more. Chris said he went back and rewrote it. Howard asked if the producer, Scott Rudin, thought it was great. Chris said he was into it. Chris said the studios are afraid a lot of the time. He said they're not sure if white people will get it. Chris said he tells them that they'll get it all.

  Howard asked if Barry Diller gets it. Chris said he must. He said that he never saw him on set but he got a couple of congratulatory emails from him. He said that it was Barry who put up the money for the movie and it's not even with a studio. He said he must have had money in a couch that he took out for the movie. Howard said Scott Rudin sees Barry and says maybe he wants to finance it. Howard asked how much money he had to produce this. Chris said it was about $8 million. He said he knew that would cover it. Chris said he thought about paying for it himself. He said he would have done it for under a million though. Howard said he has some big stars in it. He asked if he had to pay Kevin Hart a lot. Chris said they all did it for a reasonable price. He said the movie is good and they're all good parts. He said Tracy Morgan is in it. He said it's day to day with Tracy these days. Howard said he heard that he was fully on the mend but now it's like he's not. Chris said it's day to day. He said he went to his house. He said that you can be great for 2 weeks and then you regress. Howard asked if he will be back. Chris said he doesn't know. Howard said it's really sad. Chris said it is because he's one of the funniest people he knows.

  Howard asked what he talks to Tracy about. Chris said ''Pussy.'' Howard asked if he brings a basket of pussy to him. Chris laughed. Howard asked if pussy is overrated. Chris said it is. He said it only leads to aggravation. He said he's in the People magazine sexiest men alive and that's such a waste. He said he finds himself being mean to hot women. Robin asked what he does. Chris said he's just short with them. Howard said after that you can say it felt really good. Chris said it just leads to nothing.

  Chris said David Spade is still out there doing his thing with chicks. Howard said he has figured it all out. Chris said that Spade has a bad back so he's got to get up and down in the theater if he goes to see a movie. He said he ends up talking to the chick Spade is on a date with.

  Howard said he talked to Spade about his bad back and he wondered if he would be able to get up and move around if he goes out with him. Howard said he's a good guy. Chris said he loves the guy too. He said they go out to a movie every Sunday.

  Chris said he told his daughter that he was going to see Howard Stern and she said ''Oh, the guy from America's Got Talent.'' Howard said Chris came by AGT and asked him to sit down and be a judge for one act. He said Chris did that and he had so much fun doing it. Then he heard that he didn't want it shown. Chris said he has been asked to do so many judging shows and he has turned them down. He said everyone wanted him to do it. Howard said he thought it was so funny. Chris said they should have just aired it. Howard said he knew he was on TV. Howard said that they didn't want to screw him over so they didn't air it. Chris said he had like 5 people asking him to do shows like that and he turned them down. Howard said it was a real shame that they didn't get to air it.

  Howard said that Chris had a good time with Heidi and Mel B. Chris said Heidi is really hot. Howard said she was married to Seal. Chris said that you always make a mental note of that. Howard said she is into black guys. Howard said he spoke to Seal on the phone and it didn't sound like any party he'd want to be at. He said he sounded pretty fucking aggravated.

  Howard got back to the movie. He asked Chris about getting the money together with Barry Diller. Chris said he pulled that out of his shoe. Howard said Barry gives him the money and now he's made the film. Howard asked where he brings it to get it distributed. Chris said they went to the Toronto Film Festival. He said they were on no list of movies to watch out for. He said people were asking him what he was doing there. Chris said he was at a film festival and people were asking him why he was there. Howard asked if they show it to distributors. Chris said people were digging it. He said then the studios bid on it. Chris said that a big film sells for about $3 million at a film festival. He said that this one sold for like $13 million. Howard said now Barry has even more money. Chris said that if he spent $8 million then he'd never get it back. He said Barry spends it and it comes right back. Howard said some people know how to back the right horse.

  Howard asked if Barry thanks him for that. Chris said he got an email or two. He said that guy has a lot of things he's working on. He said that he doesn't have time to bother with him. Howard said that he has made his money back already. Chris said he has. Robin asked if Chris is going to be paid well on this. Chris said he had points on it and he's sure he'll get paid something.

  Howard said Sandler has the whole thing down. He said he's making good money. He said he must have gotten paid well for Grown Ups 2. Chris said it was nice. Howard said the people in his movie must like him to do it without big pay. Chris said Jerry Seinfeld is really funny in the movie. He said some of the people are the funniest they've ever been.

  Howard said Chris got shit for his jokes on Saturday Night Live. Howard said he didn't think he deserved that. Howard said he was saying that he wouldn't go in the Freedom Tower and people got upset with him. Howard said he agrees with him on that.

  Howard said that he remembers when Sam hosted SNL. Chris said he was there. He said he watched him do coke right before he went on. He said he offered him some coke and he said no. Howard asked if he could ever do that and go do a set. Chris said no. Howard said he saw Sam pass out on stage. He said Sam used to get shit when he hosted SNL. He said it's like a badge of courage. Chris said that it's not good weed if you don't choke a little bit. He said he didn't have to clear anything with SNL when he did his monologue. He said he asks what he can't do but he won't try to clear anything. He said they do make new rules for him though. Chris said Lorne had some notes for him in dress rehearsal. He said he was right about that so he changed a couple of things. Chris said that he can't say what that was.

  Howard asked if they can sort of go along with him with a wink and just say they didn't know what he was going to say. Chris said that never would have gotten on TV in a million years if they had to go over his material. He said that he wouldn't do the show if they did that to him. Chris said that when you do SNL it's such a show business thing. He said the audience is VIP'd out. He said that there is a chance that they can get a little stiff.

  Howard asked if it's true that he wanted to be a rapper. Chris said he was. He said he was a DJ too. Robin asked if he had a special name. Chris said he was just Chris Rock. He said he never would have told a joke if he had known what DJs can make today. He said he DJ'd, rapped and did comedy. He said the comedy stuck.

  Robin said she would love to hear his record. Chris said that it is out there. He said he doesn't have a copy himself. Chris said he has a storage closet full of stuff like the Louis C.K. cut of Pootie Tang.

  Howard asked Chris how hard it is to become a stand up comic. Chris said that it takes 10,000 hours just like Malcolm Gladwell says. He said he started out at the Comic Strip and places like that. He said it was him, Sandler and Colin Quinn. He said that they were loved by the owner Lucian and he let them work every night at the club. He said they were allowed to work way too much. Howard asked if they were paid. Chris said they were paid like 5 dollars a set. He said they got way more stage time than anybody else. Howard said he saw something in him. Chris said he did.

  Howard asked Chris about how he got his break. Chris said he got a deal at HBO very early on. He said that this guy Chris Albrecht signed him to a holding deal. He said it was basically like putting money in his pocket. Chris said that guy knew he was going to be good before he even knew he was going to be good.

  Howard asked Chris about living at home at 22 and if his family was banking on him to make it. Chris said it was so far fetched that he would make it that they didn't think like that. He said everyone was just happy he wasn't a crackhead. He said that they hoped he'd take the test for transit or be a sheet metal worker or something.

  Howard asked Chris where he worked when he was young. Chris said he worked at Red Lobster and at a halfway house for mentally ill people. Howard said Red Lobster isn't an easy gig. He said it's tiring work. Chris said his buddy from Red Lobster is a big wig over there now. He said that guy stuck it out and made it worth it. Howard asked how he goes out and does comedy and then goes to work for Red Lobster. Chris said you write stuff in your head. He said you're constantly working on stuff.

  Howard asked Chris if he can stay awake and do all of that. Chris said you're young and you have that drive. Howard asked when he'd get on stage at the club. Chris said you get there early and then you don't get on stage until after everyone else who is there. He rattled off a bunch of big names in the comedy world. Howard asked if he ever thinks about how they never made it to the next level. Chris said it's the luck of the draw. He said he's known Joy Behar and Susie Essman for like 30 years. Howard said Joy was a great comic. Chris agreed. Howard said that Chris is working at Red Lobster and then he makes it and becomes a big star. Howard said that he watched all of these big people go up on stage and he goes up and does his thing. Chris said he learned from all of those people. He said they were his professors.

  Howard asked if he would tell people to go to college or go to the clubs. Chris said he would tell them to got to college. He said you're probably not that funny.

  Howard asked if Chris when he knew that he was good at stand up. Chris said probably 2008. He said with his third HBO special he realized it. Howard said he knew he was on to something with that first HBO special ''Bring the Pain.'' Chris said he was getting there. Howard said after Saturday Night Live he said he thought he should work harder there. Chris said he was the black guy after Eddie Murphy. He said that was a great place to learn. He said that Ben Stiller didn't get a lot of stuff on but it was a great place to learn. He said Rob Schneider did better than Ben Stiller. He asked what sense that makes. He said no offense to Rob. Howard said Chris wanted to make it and he started working at comedy. Chris said that Howard and Robin were lucky because no one was paying attention to them. Then one day it just clicked. Howard said he had a lot of friends who wanted to be in the business. He said they wanted to work in big markets only. He said he had the ability to start out small and work his way up.

  Howard give Chris another plug for his movie ''Top Five.'' Chris told Howard he accepted his plight the way Howard did. He said a lot of guys can't do that. He said they're unrealistic with where their talent is. Howard said he was on college radio and a guy turned to him and told him that he was going to be on in some small market and this guy thought he was going right to WNBC. Howard said he knew he sucked at the time and he was fine not going right to WNBC.

  Howard said that Chris won't do Bill Maher's show now because it's so smart now. Chris said that it's genius level politics. He said that he used to do it all the time. He said he watches it all the time but it's too smart for him now. Howard said Chris never got into that political stuff. Chris said that he is a social commentary guy but he's like a political guy in a barber shop would be. He said he knows what someone in a barber shop would know.

  Howard said Chris says he wants to go to more places that are universal. Chris said you want to make the White album like the Beatles. He said he has made stuff but it's like singles. He said he thinks he has places to go. Howard said he thinks he's done some things that are like that. Chris said it would suck if he thought that he had already done it all. He said he still has that drive.

  Howard said that Chris has to have that lifestyle to be able to go out and work at night. Howard asked if the wife and kids understand. Chris said he likes being up in the morning with the kids. He said that you have to go out and put in time to do comedy. He said he went to the Cellar last night and hung out with Michael Che. He said he has to kick it with those guys or he'll lose it. Howard said there is pressure to stay in the game. He said it's a young man's game though. Chris said that he still throws fastballs though. He said he's still in the game.

  Howard gave Chris another plug for his movie and said it opens on Friday. Howard said he's getting great reviews. He said he's on his game and this could be very exciting. Howard said he can tell his daughter that he met the guy from America's Got Talent. Chris said that he has to apologize about a comment he made in an article recently. He said that he said that Dennis Miller isn't as funny as he used to be. He said he didn't mean that. He said that Dennis is great. He said he tried to call him last week and he wasn't able to get in touch with him. Howard said he's done things like that. He said there are times you say stuff that you don't mean. Howard said that he thinks Dennis is very funny. He said he's glad he said that. Chris said he's the nicest guy too. He said he took him to dinner and he backed him when he was starting out. He said he introduced him to Robin Williams. Howard said that had to be a big deal. Robin asked if he was at the Robin Williams memorial. Chris said he wasn't. He said he spoke to him just a couple of months before and that came as a shock.

  Robin brought up Joan Rivers too. Chris said that he went to get Lasik surgery and he was walking out of the office and another doctor saw him. He said he was told that his eyes weren't bad enough for Lasik so he told this other doctor about that. He said that doctor told him that he could hook him up anyway. He said that's scary.

  Howard took a call from Ralph who said that he thinks Chris is the funniest comedian. He said that he's great at everything he does. He said the AGT thing was brilliant too. Howard asked Ralph about Top Five. Ralph said he saw it and he thinks it's great. He said it's fucking funny from beginning to end. He said there were things that he was thinking about 5 minutes later that made him laugh.

  Howard wrapped up with Chris and Chris asked if they did good radio today. Howard said he thinks they did. They went to break a short time later. As they went to break they played a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard spoke to a woman about her book and had Gary the Retard and John the Stutterer asking her questions. They also played a Baba Booey Christmas song parody and Barbara Walters Least Fascinating People bit with Big Foot. There was also a song parody about JD and loving web cam girls.

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• Robin's News. 12/08/14. 9:35am
  After the break Howard came right back and said it was time for Robin's news. They played her in with a song parody. Howard said a lot of people liked the Foo Fighters in the email. Howard read a couple of those. Howard said that there was mixed reaction to Sal and Richard peeing in each other's mouths. Howard said that people are saying that they will stop listening if they do that. Howard said some people can't wait for that to happen. Howard said that people were also wondering about Richard and the weird things he wants to happen to him on the show. Howard read some email about Benjy's upcoming interview and how they're not looking forward to that.

  Robin started off with a story about it being the anniversary of John Lennon's death. Howard said he thought he died in October. Robin said that's his birthday. Robin asked if Howard knows how old he would be. Howard said he thinks it's about 72. Robin said he'd be 74. Howard said he was fantastic and he was still writing great music when he died. Howard said he was an angel. Howard said the way the guy wrote and spoke about things was so great. Howard said he was a free thinker and he contributed so much. Howard said it still kills him. He said that monster who killed him is still living and breathing. Howard said he would have been happy to sit on a jury and find him guilty of murder. He said he should have been executed. Howard said he's not sure why he's allowed to breathe. Howard said Yoko still has to go down and make a statement about how she doesn't want him let out of jail.

  Howard had Nicki Minaj's ass on the phone. He said she's upset with him for not liking her. Howard picked up and the guys in the back were playing fart sounds. Really disgusting fart sounds. Howard spoke to the ass for a short time and then let it go.

  Robin read about the Kennedy Center Honors being presented. Robin said that Tom Hanks and Sting were at the event and it should be broadcast at a later date.

  Howard said that Julie Chen and Sharon Osbourne are going to be in tomorrow. He said Smashing Pumpkins will also be in.

  Robin read about how Casey Kasem still isn't buried. Robin said that someone has spent $40,000 on his credit card over the past year. Howard asked what's going on with that. He said there should be a law about him being kept above ground. Howard said this is crazy. Robin said the body is still in Norway waiting for a proper burial. Robin said this is 6 months after his death. Howard said he's bigger than ever on this show at least. Robin said that he should be interviewed by Barbara Walters on her special. Howard said that he never said anything that interesting. Howard said he did curse on the microphone a few times so that was kind of interesting. He said the whole thing is fantastic. He said they should have had a reality crew on this. Howard did a live commercial read a short time later.

  Robin read about how the Grammy nominations were announced. Robin had some details of those nominations. Robin said that Hozier was nominated so he was blown away by that. Robin said he has a hit song and a Grammy nomination now.

  Howard asked Gary to get him a poppy seed bagel with peanut butter on it for lunch. Gary said he could have it for him by the next break. Gary said he'll get the peanut butter on the side. Howard said he's an angel with big teeth. He said that's exactly what he wants.

  Robin said that she's watching a documentary on Richard Pryor and he had a very difficult life. She said that's why she was so defensive of him earlier. Robin said that she used to sneak downstairs to watch him on TV when her parents were sleeping. Howard said she's so sweet. He said this is for her and played a Big Foot tip about beating off in the woods. He suggested wiping your cock off with a dead squirrel or a dead bird if there's nothing else around to wipe it off with.

  Robin read a story about yesterday being Veteran's Day. Robin read some details about a ceremony that they had in Hawaii at Pearl Harbor. Howard said his dad remembers when it was bombed and most of the reaction was ''What the hell is Pearl Harbor?'' He said people didn't know there was a Pearl Harbor. Howard said that they eventually figured out that the country had been bombed.

  Robin asked if you have the right to read your children's texts. Gary asked how old. Robin asked it in general. Gary said yes. Howard said he's going to agree with him. He said he thinks you should try not to but if you think something is going down then you should. Gary said he's right on the money. Howard said if your kid is lethargic or looking like Fred maybe you should. Fred said all roads lead to him. Howard said he meant no offense. Robin said that a doctor has said that parents have every right to read your kid's texts. Robin had some audio of this doctor talking about that. Howard said his mother checked everything. He said that she constantly took his temperature anally. Robin said they say that parents are split on reading their kid's texts. Howard said a parent has to look into things. Robin said that's part of being a spy. Robin said they say that kids won't even tell you want they want for Christmas. Howard said maybe they don't know.

  Robin said she read that someone suggested not using your hand to masturbate. Howard said that was in the email. He said someone said that all the young people are using Fleshlights. Howard said she read it alright.

  Robin read a story about a study that was done about holiday decorations and who is more likely to put them up. Robin said she really enjoys decorating for Christmas.

  Robin read a story about Prince William and Duchess Kate being in the city. Robin said they'll be watching a basketball game tonight. Howard said Kate used to be hot before the kid. Robin said she's having a second one. Howard said that explains it. Howard said they say that they say women lose their looks after pregnancy and they say it's biological so other cavemen wouldn't try to steal the woman away. Howard did a live commercial read a short time later.

  Robin read a story about the protests going on over the two different police shootings where the police were not prosecuted. Robin said that happened in Ferguson and now in Staten Island. Robin said there are protests going on around the country. Robin said there's a woman who wants justice for her son in Cleveland. Robin said that the mother of a shooting victim had a very bright future. Robin had some audio of the mother talking about her son. Robin read about the cop who shot Eric Garner and how he won't be prosecuted. Robin said they are doing an investigation so there is still a chance that something could come out of that.

  Robin read about how the president could come forward and make something happen. Robin had some audio of Rush Limbaugh talking to Chris Wallace on FOX News over the weekend. Howard said whenever they interview him he's in his EIB studio. He said he thinks he's surgically implanted in that chair of his. Robin read about how people were blocking bridges in San Francisco.

  Robin read about how gas prices are lower than they've been in 4 years. Robin said that we must have a large supply of oil on hand. She said that prices are down 12 cents in the past 2 weeks. Robin said there are places that are only $2.38. Robin said in San Francisco it's $3.04 a gallon.

  Robin said that one of her favorite things in her childhood was Peter Pan. Robin said the show they had on NBC wasn't the magical thing that she remembers from her childhood. Robin said she wonders if kids were thrilled like she was as a child. Howard said that the ratings dropped off as the show was on. He said it started with a 5 share and dropped off to a 4. Robin had some audio from the Peter Pan special with Allison Williams singing. Howard said he still doesn't understand why they have a chick playing a guy. Howard said it's bizarre. Howard said the kids should be saying ''you're a girl... you have tits!'' Howard said this is the firs Peter Pan he ever wanted to fuck. Howard said at least she's hot. He said the other women who played Peter Pan weren't hot at all. Howard had some other clips from the special. He had some of Christopher Walken's lines. Robin said he sounded tired. Howard said they tried. He said the Sound of Music worked because Carrie Underwood is hot. Howard said that it was dudes jerking off watching that. Howard said he wants to meet the people who forced their kids to watch that shit. Howard said they should have gotten a boy to play the role. Howard said Joe Jonas or someone like that could have played Peter Pan. Gary said the guys in the office thought the kid who played King Joffrey from Game of Thrones would be good. Howard said they have to get a name. Howard said Miley Cyrus looks like a little boy at least. Howard said that they have to tape their tits down if they're a girl. Howard said maybe Shia LaBeouf could do it. Howard said that Justin Bieber would be good in that role. Howard said maybe one of Will Smith's kids could do it. Howard said they can have a black Peter Pan. He said maybe Sherri Shepherd could do it. Howard said they could go with Barbara Walters and just go all the way with that shit. Howard and Robin spent a couple of minutes talking about how creepy the whole thing was.

  Robin read a story about a guy who is working on ways to diagnose cancer. Robin had some audio of the guy talking about that.

  Robin had some audio of former President Bush talking about what's going on in this country with the police and people not trusting them. Howard said maybe Bush could play Peter Pan. Or Maybe Kim Jong Un.

  Robin read a story about a drone strike that took out an Al Queda leader. Robin said that he was the second high profile terrorist taken out over the weekend.

  Robin read about how we tried to rescue some hostages and the rescue went all wrong. Robin said the hostages were all killed. Robin said the troops were noticed by some dogs and that's what alerted the terrorists. Robin said last night's Homeland was very defeating. Howard told her to stop talking about it because he hasn't seen it yet.

  Robin read about how Edward Snowden still has more documents that he's releasing. Robin said they reveal a covert operation to intercept information from the mobile internet operators. Robin said the NSA has said they only collect communications that they are authorized to collect. Howard said he likes that someone is checking something. Robin said there are so many people and you can never check on everything. Howard said they know patterns and they are checking on things. Howard said he thinks that Hugh Hefner is looking into some of the allegations against Bill Cosby. Robin said that one of the women is claiming she was assaulted at the Playboy mansion when she was only 15 years old so they're investigating that.

  Robin read a story about bear hunting season opening. Robin said that there were some collisions in Virginia that led to some deaths. They all started because of a collision with a bear. Howard said he could never kill a bear. Robin said she can't either. She said that she could never kill a deer either. Howard said that bear are almost human. He said they can walk on two legs. Howard said that they may be more human than Benjy. Robin read about how the collisions happened where these people died.

  Robin read about Nicki Minaj being on Saturday Night Live and playing Kim Kardashian on the Weekend Update segment. Robin had some audio from that segment. Howard said she sounds just like Kim. He said ''What a talent.''

  Robin read about how Kanye West's new album has been named one of the 40 most ground breaking albums of all time by Rolling Stone Magazine. Robin mentioned some other groups who were on that list too.

  Robin read a story about a Mediterranean Diet that has been linked to a healthier heart. Robin said they say that it can help slow the aging process and lead to a longer life. Howard wondered if he's on that. Robin said she doesn't think a bagel and peanut butter are on that diet. Howard said he's just coming back after being sick.

  Robin read as story about Phil Collins doing his first solo gig in a few years. Robin said that he came out at the end of the event and said he has a neurological affliction that is preventing him from performing.

  Robin read a story about Green Day's guitarist, Jason White, has tonsil cancer. Howard said maybe they can remove them and he can go on. Robin said the tonsils are removed and he should make a speedy recovery.

  Robin read a story about Walgreens and how they are no longer selling a certain wrapping paper after someone noticed swastikas in the pattern.

  Robin read about Bernie Madoff and how sentencing for his crew starts today.

  Robin read about the President going to the hospital for Acid Reflux. Robin said he had a sore throat and he found out what was causing it this weekend.

  Robin read about President Obama being a guest on The Colbert Report tonight. Robin said that this is his first appearance on the show. Robin said Colbert is taking over for David Letterman when he retires next year. Howard asked what that mans. Robin said she thinks that it will be early next year but she's not sure.

  Robin read about how Justin Bieber has a new hair style. Robin said that he is also renting a house in California for $60,000 a month. Howard said that kid really has nothing on his mind.

  Robin read about a movie called Selma that's coming out. Robin had some audio of a song from the movie.

  Robin read about the 50th anniversary of the classic ''Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.'' Howard said he doesn't like any of that. Robin said she doesn't either. Robin said that it is the 50th anniversary of the animated special though. Robin wrapped up her news and Howard ended the show around 10:35am.

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• Wrap Up Show - Chris Rock. 12/08/14. 10:35am
  Jon Hein started the show talking about what they were going to cover today. Jon said he wanted to talk about Chris Rock. He said he comes in and things can start off kind of confrontational. He said today that didn't happen. He said he thinks Chris and Howard have this level of respect now and they reflect on what could have gone better or not. He said Chris is always happy to be there. He said they learned about what's going on with Tracy Morgan and also learned about the movie and how he got that deal to happen. Jon said when you have a pet project like that it means something to you. He said Chris talked about working on Grown Ups 2 and he missed not being part of writing and directing. Jon said he's heard nothing but good things about this movie ''Top Five.''

  Jon asked JD if he is inspired by that. He said he knows JD has aspirations to do something like that. JD said sure. He said he would like to write something. Jon asked what's stopping him. JD said he has a plan in his head but not the whole plan. He said he thinks that there's a whole thing he has to do. Jon said he can have a thousand excuses for not doing it. JD said he is well aware that he has problems. Jon said he finds a way to get his work done around there. JD said that he isn't confident enough to do it. He said he isn't comfortable failing.

  Jon said Chris was a rapper when he was young. He said that Gary has a budding DJ in his family. JD said Lucas is doing very well too. Jon asked if he thinks that he had air horn in those songs. JD said he thinks that he meant sirens and not air horns. He said he likes the sound of a siren going off in a song. He said he thought of a song actually. He said at the beginning of ''Pulse of the Maggots'' by Slipknot is one. Jon wanted to hear some of that. Al the board op played a few seconds of the song and Jon said that was enough. Jon asked if that's what he's looking for in a song. JD said no. He said that's what Jon does to him. He said that he's not looking for that in a song. He said he likes it in that song. Jon told him to explain himself. JD said he likes it but it's not all that he's looking for which is what Jon just said.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said he loves Chris Rock and thinks he's the most talented guy out there right now. He said he still comes on and talks about his uncertainties. He said that he thinks that's awesome. Jon agreed. He said that he'll talk about his success but he's modest about that. Jon said that you feel like you're a fly on the wall with those two when they're talking.

  Gary showed up and said that this is Chris' 17th interview on the show. He said that he has grown up on the show. He said he finds him interesting. He said they had some common ground about people who want to do something and people who really want it. Jon said that JD has something he wants to do but he can't sit down and write the script.

  Jon told Gary they played the siren song for JD earlier. JD said that's not what he's looking for in a song. Jon asked what songs have a random air raid siren in them. JD said there are some.

  The caller asked JD if he thinks he's as passionate about directing as Chris Rock and Howard are about their careers. JD said he doesn't know. He said he knows he hasn't done anything and he'd rather not talk about this. Jon said JD has a career going and he's doing just fine. Jon said that Chris told Howard that he flew under the radar for a while until something clicked. He said that Chris did the same thing. Jon said you have to put in the time and if you're not passionate enough to do that then maybe you shouldn't be doing it. JD said that's fine but he'd rather not talk about it.

  Gary said he thinks that what he was saying is that if JD was directing every weekend he'd get better and better at it. He said that he should just do it until he gets great at it. JD said he knows that. Jon asked what the next step is. JD said he doesn't know. He said he's going to try to write this thing and see what happens. Jon asked what's stopping him. JD said he just has to do it. Jon said they had to take a break after that.

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• Wrap Up Show - Howard's AGT Announcement, Peter Pan And More. 12/08/14. 10:55am
  After the break Jon said they had a big announcement today when Howard said he was doing another season of AGT. Gary said that he's not going to do it if he doesn't want to. He said that would be bad for everyone. Jon said that they have to see what happens next. Gary said that it's going to be a fun February and March and then by August it will be miserable. Gary said he thinks that the other judges are set. He said Howard says he can work with anyone though. He said it would be interesting if they hired Jay Leno. Jon said he doesn't think Howard would do it. Gary said that he must have a Jay Leno clause in his contract. Jon said he'd love to see that. JD said he must have some approval with that.

  Jon said that he knows Mariann is more than thrilled about this. JD said she's probably polishing her crown now. Gary said when the show goes on in July or august they'll have to have her in. He said that it's so much work for her. He said she has to coordinate the whole thing and she'll tell you everyone who didn't show up or made things hard on her.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that Peter Pan discussion was funny. He said that he was cracking up about that. He said just imagine Howard as Captain Hook Nose and Artie Lange swinging on a wire. Jon said he can see JD as the lead of that. He said he has the stage experience. JD said he did play Maxwell Smart in a play. Gary said he thinks he'd go with Jason as Peter Pan. He said he'd love to see him on wires.

  Gary asked Jon how much he saw of it. Jon said he watched most of it. Gary said he TiVo'd it. He said he doesn't remember the whole story but he wanted to see some of it. He said that he got the idea after 20 seconds of it. Jon said that there are songs in there that you just have to hear. He said the Chris Walken stuff is what you had to see. Gary said he thinks that Dustin Hoffman in the movie Hook was great. He said Jason had a theory about how that production is going to make little boys gay because they are going to think they're attracted to a boy even though it was played by a girl.

  Jon said that Robin was goofing on the show but she loved Peter Pan as a kid. Gary said he didn't care about it as a kid. He said that he didn't know any of the songs. Gary said they were trying to think about what they might do next year. Jon asked JD what he would like to see. JD said he'd like to see Cats. He said he never saw the Broadway show. Gary said he's lucky he never saw that. JD said he would also like to see Phantom of the Opera. Jon said he wants to talk about Cats more. JD said of course he does. He said that's because Jon is putting him in that box. Jon said he doesn't know what box he's talking about.

  Gary said he didn't get Cats even a little. He said that wasn't cool. JD said he only knows that it's about cats. He knows nothing else about it.

  Gary said he thought about how they could go with South Pacific or something. JD said maybe Wizard of Oz. Jon said that's not a bad idea. Gary said maybe West Side Story. Jon said that Howard had a half an hour of material about it today.

  Jon said it is interesting that they have a woman playing the role. Gary said he's not sure why they do that. He said years ago it was because they weren't allowed to have a little kid playing the part.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said he's heard that the music was written too high so that's why they had a female in the lead. Jon said he can't imagine that's true today. JD said they get traditions going and they just keep them going and going. Jon said he could be right there.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said he's made a few movies and they have been released. He said JD should get it going because the people in New York are very supportive. JD said he knows. He said he just needs help himself. Jon asked what he is doing to help himself. JD said he hasn't taken many steps at this time. Gary said he has to either make a movie or stop saying he's an aspiring director. JD said that he's not the one saying it. He said it's everyone else. JD said he's not as passionate as others and he knows it. He asked what else he's supposed to do. Jon let him off the hook and went to break.

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• Wrap Up Show - America's Got Talent. 12/08/14. 11:10am
  After the break Jon said they learned that Howard wasn't feeling very well over the weekend. He said that he's surprised that he didn't point fingers at anyone. He said that Howard always wants to know who got him sick. Gary said they must be hiding from him who is sick. Gary said he doesn't know anyone who is sick. Jon said he didn't notice anyone. JD said he didn't either. Gary said he's not sure there is anyone to blame.

  Jon said that Robin threw in today that she smoked pot in Amsterdam. He said that Howard laid into her about that. He said she went through a lot and he thinks she's more than earned the right to do that. Gary agreed. He said Howard has a lot of rules but Robin has always been more adventurous. He said that Howard is against many things that Robin has done over the years.

  Jon played a clip of Robin and Howard talking about the pot smoking. Jon said he thinks that Robin had that attitude even before the cancer. He said after going through that then why not just go crazy? Jon asked Jon Leiberman what he thinks about it. Leiberman said he thinks it's great. Leiberman said he went to Amsterdam for a week to do a report for a news program and he didn't smoke anything there. He said his cameraman did. He said that guy was high every day of the week that they were there. Jon asked what the excitement level is like in the newsroom now that Howard announced he is doing another season of AGT. Leiberman asked if he knows Lisa G at all. He said she's very excited. Leiberman said he loves hearing her talking to the radio every morning.

  Jon took a call from a woman who said they have to lay off of JD. She said they have to let him do his job and leave him alone about the director job. She said that they're always on him. Gary said they're not on him. Gary said it's not his idea to be a director. He said JD is the one who wants to be a director. Gary said he likes the work JD does there. He said if he had the passion he'd be doing it.

  JD said that everyone is right. He said he's not happy with himself and how he hasn't done anything. He said that he has to deal with it every day. Jon asked if he thinks they pick on him. JD said that he doesn't bring it up so he's the one who gets upset about it. Gary said they all have shitty hours there. The caller said not as bad as JD's. Jon thanked her for calling in and let her go.

  Jon said he is rooting for JD and he's not looking to pick on him. He said he wants to see him succeed. JD said he knows.

  Jon took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that there is no way that AGT is going to have Jay Leno on the show. She said they're going to give Howard anything he wants. She said that it could be his last year there and he's going to go out with a bang. Mariann said she knew he was going to go back. She said that it's the 10th anniversary and there was no way he wouldn't do it. She said everyone loves Howard. Gary said that he sees season 12, 3 episodes and done from Howard's living room. He said they have accommodated him a lot since he started. Gary said some people love numbers but he doesn't think that the 10th anniversary had anything to do with him being there. Mariann said she does. Jon said they're very happy for Howard and for Mariann.

  Jon asked Jon Leiberman to give them the Howard 100 News headlines. Leiberman ran down a few things they had coming up today. He also got in a plug for Leiberman Live. Jon Hein got in a plug for today's Sternthology and Gary mentioned the Foo Fighters concert that will be on Howard 101 at 10pm tonight. Jon gave the guys some plugs and then ended the show. they were done around 11:20am.

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• Remembering Pugsley From The Addams Family. 12/09/14. 6:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: A prank call Sal and Richard made to a guy as Santa, a clip of Beetlejuice being asked about writing a letter to Santa, an Andrew Dice Clay impersonator reading a Christmas story, Foo Fighters performing ''Learn to Fly'' in the Howard Stern Show studio.

  Howard started the show talking about how he was having a weird dream last night. He said he was thinking about how when he was 20 years old he had rocket fuel in his veins. He said he never got tired no matter what he did. He said he had endless energy. He said Gary reminded him that's what the movie Cocoon was about. Howard said he thinks about morbid things after that. He said that 80 is only 20 years away. He said there's not much time left for him.

  Howard said he read that Pugsley from the Addams Family died. Howard said that he was 59 years old and he was a behind the scenes guy. He said he occasionally made appearances at conventions. Howard said his real name was Ken Weatherwax. Howard said Wednesday the little girl grew up hot from what he remembers. Howard said he told Gary that childhood obesity can bite you in the ass. He said Gary told him that the guy was slim. He said he wasn't super fat but he wasn't in good shape. Howard said you can see he was a little chunky. Robin said he wasn't 500 pounds. Howard said it just sucks. He said he knows guys in their 50s that have heart attacks. Robin said Farrah Fawcett was in good shape and she's gone from cancer. She said there is no figuring that out.

  Howard said he has to get a colonoscopy. He said that he gets those every 5 years. Howard said he went through this with his doctor. He said he has to prep for that and start it the day before. Howard said he's going to try preparing the day before. Howard said that's not until January.

  Gary said that the girl who played Wednesday on the Addams Family wasn't a porn star but she met someone on the set who was a porn actor.

  Howard said he loved John Astin on that show. He said he was really good. He was married to Patty Duke. Robin said Sean Astin is their son and he's an actor. Howard said that

  Howard said this week's Homeland was great. He said that it makes you feel like we're idiots after watching it. Howard said he just got a note saying that Cousin It is still around and alive at the age of 77.

• Race Discussions With King Of All Blacks. 12/09/14. 6:10am
  Howard said he has a clip from a college football game where there's a hail Mary pass. Howard said he loves when the announcers go nuts. Howard played the clip and the guy was doing his announcer voice and then he freaks out when the pass is caught. After that Howard played a clip of what it would sound like if Robin took her bra off in front of those guys.

  Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who said he was thinking about blacks and why they're lives are worth less. Howard asked who said they were. King said that they just aren't revered and they should be. Howard said he's not sure they should be more because every life is precious. Howard said life is worth what you think it's worth. King said he's just looking at it through the lens of life. Howard said he's reacting to this racial tension that's happening right now. Howard said that he grew up in a shithole community and he saw cops dealing with both black and white. Howard said that if you stay out of trouble then you'll avoid the police. Howard said if you think the police are racist then act even more nice. Robin asked if you think cops are dangerous then why fight with them? King told her to come on. Howard said Chris Rock does a funny routine about this.

  Howard said there's a guy he knows who was a career criminal who was caught on a bunch of petty crimes. Howard said he had like 10-15 arrests. Howard said the cops got to know him and he was beaten regularly. Howard said that there was nothing they could do with the guy. Howard said he'd be in and out of jail. Howard said they'd whack him around a bit. Howard said they never straightened him out.

  Howard said that he's so glad for the police. He said if you're involved with them all the time because of nonsense or even if it's not for nonsense. He said they just want to get home at the end of the day. Howard said if you're charging a cop and you're told to slow down then don't do it. Howard said if you charge at him the cop is going to wonder if you have a gun. He doesn't know if you have a gun. The cop does and he will do what he has to do to stop you.

  King said if it's raining and he hits someone in his car in the rain and they turn the guy over and he's black, he's going to be relieved. He said that if he was Jewish or white or something then he'd be worried. Howard said what he's saying isn't necessarily untrue. Robin said it's not true either. Howard asked how many people he's run over. King said none. Howard said that he isn't good at this kind of commentary so he doesn't want to spend more time on it. He let King go after that saying that it's too early to be arguing with a garbage man. Howard said he likes King but he knows some people don't.

• Howard Not Thrilled With Royalty. 12/09/14. 6:20am
  Howard said he doesn't like this royalty coming to this country. He said that he knows why they come to this country but he doesn't like the way people react to them. Howard said Jay Z and Beyonce met them and they make a big deal out of it. Howard said on some level he was jealous of people who were handed things. Howard said he looks at that prince dude and he just sees a guy who never had to do anything. Howard said he has a good shake in life and doesn't have to work. He said he's like their Vice President. Howard said he gets that but at the end of the day as an American it sickens him when people curtsy and bow to them. Howard said we don't bow to anyone. Howard said we threw them out of this country. Howard said Americans died so we wouldn't have to do that bullshit. He said we should have some dignity and not have to bow to these kids. Howard said he's sure they're nice kids but we don't have to bow.

  Howard said he'd bow to Jay Z and Beyonce before he'd bow to the British. Howard said that at least they work for their money. Howard said the whole thing rubs him the wrong way. Robin said it was funny to her when the President went to England and Michelle Obama made a mistake by touching the Queen. Howard said ''give me a break.'' He said they have to perpetuate that or it wouldn't be special. Howard said they have to keep the tradition going. He said when he sees the carrying on it really gets to him.

  Howard said he thinks about Lady Di and what went on with that. He said the whole thing seems sad to him. He said that guy should shave his head too. Robin said he won't do that. He's going to keep those sprigs. Howard said he's jealous of that whole royalty thing. Howard said he's a very successful radio guy but it that happened to him he thinks he could have dealt with it.

• Howard Takes Some Calls. 12/09/14. 6:25am
  Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Benjy and his girlfriend broke up. Howard said he's done with that whole story. He said in the email the people hate him. He read some of the email he got about Benjy and people were asking him to stop talking to him about that stuff. Howard said that they ask Benjy if he's broken up and he's not sure. Benjy said its not that simple. Howard asked if he has a girlfriend. Benjy didn't say yes or no so Howard cut him off. Howard asked Fred if he has a wife. Fred said he is married and has a relationship. Howard asked Robin if she has a boyfriend. Robin said no. Howard went to Benjy once again and asked if he has a girlfriend. Benjy started to talk and not just say yes or no. Howard went to JD and Gary and asked if they have girlfriends or wives. They gave one word answers.

  Howard tried Benjy again and he started to talk. The caller asked Benjy how he's a sex addict if he isn't having sex with his girlfriend. He said he should cut off his dick and throw it in the garbage disposal.

  Howard let the caller go and took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked if he's excited about Sons of Anarchy. Howard said he loves that show and it's the series finale. Howard said Homeland was great this week and Sons of Anarchy has been insanely great. Howard said the show is great. He said that Charlie Hunnam is terrific. Howard said Katey Sagal is great and he's thrilled with the show. Howard said he loves the whole thing.

  Howard said we're in a great time in TV history. He said they make so many great series. Howard said that Netflix has it right with their TV series where you can just watch all of the stuff at once.

  Speech asked Howard about Son of the Beach and if that's going to be available. Howard said they put that show together for FX and it was one of the first they did. Howard said that it was a great learning experience for him. He said they didn't make a lot of money from that show. Howard said he wanted to learn to produce programs so he took it on. Howard said he was talking to one of the writers on the show and he sent him a link to a couple of the episodes. Howard said he loved the one with David Arquette and Neil Patrick Harris. Howard said it was really funny. He said they had a strong rating with a million viewers a week. Howard said they did 3 seasons and it was really funny. Howard said some weeks weren't funny but at the time they did what they could. Howard said he's not sure what's going on with the DVD or anything. He said he doesn't have anything to do with that.

• Joan Rivers From The Grave. 12/09/14. 6:30am
  Howard said he's got a phone line to Joan Rivers' grave and he's going to talk to her right now. Howard picked up and had a Joan Rivers impersonator on the line. Joan was upset that Kathy Griffin is taking over for her on Fashion Police. Howard said he misses Joan. Joan said she misses Howard too. She said they gave her job to Carrot Top with a uterus. Robin said she loved Kathy. Joan said she heard her asking for her job at the funeral. Joan said Kathy is hilarious. Joan asked if he knows of any of her jokes that are great. Howard didn't have one and Joan said she didn't either.

  Howard asked Joan about the Bill Cosby accusations. Joan said she was shocked. She said the most shocking is that Janice Dickinson called herself a super model. Howard said he knows that these calls can be interrupted because they're talking from heaven. Howard asked how it is being dead. Joan said that she had one thing to tell Mel Gibson and that is that Jews do go to heaven.

  Joan said she hears that Robin is cancer free. She said she was looking forward to seeing her up there. Robin said she won't be there anytime soon. Joan told Howard to tell Ronnie that she'll see him soon. Howard let Joan go and went to break after that. As they went to break they played a Big Foot tip for jerking off in the words. They also had a Steven Hawking singing Jingle Bells bit they played.

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• Various Audio Clips And More. 12/09/14. 6:45am
  After the break they played a ''Tard Wars'' commercial parody. They also played a Kay Jewelers commercial parody and a fake clip of Joey Boots talking to High Pitch Eric about what he had for Thanksgiving dinner. They had a Big Foot tip about wiping your ass with phone book paper. They also played Gary Dell'Abate screwing up a line in a holiday announcement and also a Bobo Bowie song parody.

  Howard came back and said that he has a clip of a guy leaving a message for Benjy. Howard played that and the guy was doing an impression of Perez Hilton. Howard said that was nice. Howard said that wasn't the real Perez or the real High Pitch Eric.

  Howard said that Sharon Osbourne and Julie Chen are coming in. He said he has a fantastic performance from Smashing Pumpkins today too. He said they have stacks of amps in there. Howard said that it's going to be great. He said they're doing three songs and one is new, one is a classic and one is a cover. Howard said he's a fan of Smashing Pumpkins and he loves Billy Corgan. Howard said that will be happening later. Howard said Sharon and Julie are on a roll with their show. He said they have high ratings these days.

  Howard said he has so much to get to today. Howard said he was listening to some of the JD stuff from the Wrap Up Show. Howard said JD is fun to listen to. Howard said this is JD talking about how he likes songs with air horns in them. Howard said there are none. Howard said he thinks he was talking about something else.

  Howard played a clip of JD talking about liking air horns in songs. The guys were talking about getting him an air horn for Christmas. Howard asked if he's talking about an actual air horn. JD told Howard he meant a siren. He told Howard there's a song called Pulse of the Maggots that has a siren at the start of it. Howard said that song by Night Ranger has one too. Howard said that's about the only one he can think of. Howard said JD likes that.

  Howard played a clip of a JD impersonator singing a Christmas song. Howard said he thinks JD like Taylor Swift too. Howard played another Wrap Up Show clip where JD talked about liking that ''Shake it Off'' song. He thought it was like shaking his dick off. Howard said only JD makes that association. Howard said he can't wait to meet his girlfriend at the Christmas party. Robin said that's the only reason she's coming. Robin said she will be the guest of honor. She said there should be a spotlight on her. Howard said everyone is curious about that. JD said they're not a side show. Howard said they sort of are. Howard said that he's going to be the highlight of the party. Howard asked if they can put him in a cage and put him above the dance floor. JD said he's already in a cage.

  Howard played a Christmas song about how they can't wait to meet the girlfriend. Howard asked if she is nervous. JD said she is and this isn't helping. He said she doesn't want to be a side show or whatever. Howard said everyone is curious though. Howard said his policy is to have their significant others there at the party and this is why. Howard said JD has a new girlfriend. Robin said when Benjy had a girl there it was new to them. Howard said now it's JD's turn. Howard said that Benjy can give the night to JD. JD said Benjy can have it. Howard said he had to take another break after that.

• Sharon Osbourne And Julie Chen Visit. 12/09/14. 7:00am
  After the break they played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a call in show where Richard was asking to speak to Santa on the air and Sal played his dad screaming at the hosts. They also played Gary the Retard singing ''All I Want for Christmas is My 11 Front Teeth.'' They also played Lenny Kravitz's ''Let Love Rule'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and sang along to the song Fred was playing. He said that Julie Chen and Sharon Osbourne are there. He said they're on a show called The Talk and it wasn't supposed to last. Julie and Sharon came in and Howard said they're lovely. Howard said Julie lost a ton of weight. Julie said she tried. She said she was up to 142 and she's down to 128 right now but she was down to 122. Howard said that Sharon looks good too. Howard said that they said that she kept the weight off after that stomach operation she had. Julie said she didn't know she had that done. Sharon said that was 14 years ago.

  Howard said that Julie's husband must be thrilled with her losing weight. Julie said he told her to stop. Howard said he must be upset about her breast size going down. Julie said Howard said that and not her. Howard asked what cup size she is. Sharon said she's an egg cup. Howard asked what size she really is. Julie said she's always been an A-cup. Howard said that it looks like they're bigger than that. Julie said it's padding. Howard said he didn't know that she was an A-cup. Howard said that's a major revelation.

  Sharon asked who had long blonde hair there. She picked it off the couch. Robin said they must not be cleaning well there.

  Howard said that Julie and Sharon are on The talk. Howard said people didn't think the show was going to do well but it stayed on season after season. Howard said he's reading statistics. Howard said they show that they are beating The View. Howard said that they have more of an audience. Sharon told Howard to say it again. Howard said in July of 2014 they surpassed The View in the ratings. Howard said that's when Jenny McCarthy and Sherri Shepherd announced they were leaving. Howard said Julie had said that Jenny wasn't right for The View. Julie said she did say she didn't think she was right for that show but she had good reasons for that. She explained to Howard what they were.

  Howard asked if they crow about this now. Julie said they don't crow about it but they are proud. Julie said they were quick to judge them before they even had 2 weeks under their belt. Julie said they thought they were going to try to imitate them but she didn't want to do that. She said she stopped watching that show just to make sure it didn't happen. Howard asked if they shuddered when they said that Rosie O'Donnell was joining the cast. Sharon said she didn't worry. Howard asked if they get any feedback about what's happening on that show. Sharon said they're on different networks. Howard asked if Les (Moonves) gets any information. Julie said he's more worried about the prime time lineup.

  Howard said that his wife gets information about things that he's involved with. Howard said that Les must bring things home that Julie finds out about. Julie said there are certain areas that she will be asked about. She said that she's not in the entertainment part. She said she'd rather not watch pilots with him because she doesn't want to influence him. She said that she has an opinion on shows and things. Howard said he thinks that she has more influence over the network than people understand. Howard said he thinks that it would be a mistake to mess with her. Howard asked if he's correct. Julie said she likes this picture. Sharon said no one will fuck with Julie. She said they have tried.

  Howard asked Julie what's going on with her name. He said it's Chen-Moonves. Julie said that she and Les have been married 10 years now. She said they have a 5 year old son. Howard said it's nice to take his name. Howard asked if she was denying him that pleasure. Julie said she was already in the news and on Big Brother. She said she didn't want to make everyone think about being a Moonves. She said that it's intimidating. Julie said she finally did make the change legal. She said they were married for 5 years and she made the change. She said they had their child and she wanted to do that. Julie said that the incubator said ''Boy Chen'' on it and Les wasn't happy about that. Howard said he can sue you if he's not happy. He said you have to be careful. Julie said she changed her name to Julie Moonves. She said she got into trouble when she'd fly because her passport said ''Julie Chen.'' She said as of 3 months ago it's now Julie Chen-Moonves on everything.

  Howard asked Julie if Les is just waiting for Sumner Redstone to die. Howard said that he must be in line to take his spot. Julie said that's outrageous. Howard said Sumner is 91 years old. Howard said that Les knows to wait it out and take it over. Howard said that Sumner's family all hate each other so Les must be in line for that job. Howard asked if they talk about that at home. Julie said Howard is ridiculous. Howard said that they must want to track it and figure it out. Julie said they are living a good life. Howard asked if Les will take over Viacom. Julie said no. She said she's not sure who will take over but she doesn't think it will be Les.

  Howard asked if Julie has met Bill Cosby. Julie said she has. Sharon said she fucked Bill Cosby. Then she said fuck no when she was asked if that was true. Sharon said he has a wandering eye and it's wandering all over his face.

  Howard asked Julie how she met Bill. Julie said they were out to dinner and he came over to say hi to Les. She said that he was very nice but it was just a 3-5 minute conversation.

  Howard said he wouldn't be surprised if Sharon fucked Bill Cosby. Sharon said she wouldn't fuck him with those things hanging off his face and that wandering eye. Howard said if you're in show business you should have those things removed.

  Howard said today the appearance is to gloat about their ratings. Julie said that's a dangerous thing to do. Julie said that they said they weren't scared on The View. She said you have to be careful. Sharon said you're only as good as your last show.

  Howard said he saw Julie and Les at a Bruce Springsteen concert. Sharon said she had to turn that off because it was awful. Julie remembered after Gary reminded her of it. Sharon said that Julie was the best looking woman in the room. Howard said the show aired on PBS. Howard said they kept cutting to Julie and she was dancing along to the music with her head. Howard said that he knows she didn't want that on TV. Sharon said the whole audience was their age and they don't look good rockin' out. She said they should just go home. Howard said he was wondering if Julie was thinking about being on camera and all of that.

  Howard said that Sharon is married to Ozzy and she sees what goes on at rock concerts. Sharon said there are a lot of guys who think they should get up and move and they really shouldn't. She said the industry dudes shouldn't be doing that.

  Howard said it's exciting that The Talk is in town for the week. Howard asked who they have on this week. Julie said they have Carrie Underwood on. Howard said he'd like her to come on over there. Howard said he would like to talk to her. Julie said they have Tom Selleck and Donnie Wahlberg coming in. She said that she loves Jenny and would love to have her on The Talk. Sharon said she's doing her radio show this week. Julie said she didn't get an invitation. She said she doesn't want to crash that party.

  Howard asked Sharon if she's having sex with Ozzy. Sharon said that Ozzy is a bunny rabbit. She said that he's the Everready bunny. Howard said Ozzy has announced he wants to do another season of The Osbournes. Sharon said that she doesn't want that. Howard said it seems insane to do it again. Sharon said it's interesting to see a family over a long period of time growing together and growing apart. She said she thinks it'll be more of a documentary than a series. She said it's 13 years since they did the other show. She said they may do 6-8 episodes and then come back in 5 years to do it again. Howard asked who they are doing it for. Sharon said whoever gives them the most money. Howard asked if it'll be for cable. Sharon said she's not sure.

  Howard asked Sharon why she would put her through this. Sharon said it's not putting her through anything. She said it's just living your life and having cameras around. Howard said Ozzy says that this will be the first time he's doing something like this sober. Sharon said he was out of his mind those three years they did the show.

  Howard said that Julie looks at Sharon like she's crazy. Julie said that's because she is. Julie said if she had the success of the show that Sharon had she would do it again. Julie said she doesn't look down on it. Howard said that Julie thinks this is crazy. Sharon said she does not. Julie said that heir show changed the face of reality TV. Howard said they really did.

  Howard asked Julie if it was a mistake to do Big Brother instead of being a 60 Minutes correspondent. Julie said she asked the guy who was running the news at the time and he didn't want her to host the news. Julie said that she asked if she agreed to do Big Brother if she would shut the door to being a 60 Minutes correspondent. She said the news director told her she might. Julie said that they assigned her that job and she could be in trouble for it for being insubordinate.

  Julie said she did Big Brother and she got bad reviews. She said that's when she regretted it. Howard said her dream went right out the window and the bad reviews came in. Howard asked if she had Les fire them all. Julie said no one has heard from them since.

  Howard said he wants to get back to Sharon. Howard said she did X-Factor in London. Howard said Simon took her off he show. Sharon said that's not true. She said that she just went back for the 10th anniversary. Howard said the ratings went down after she left. Sharon said they did and she's happy about that. She said they dropped off by like a million. Sharon said she wanted to work with two people on the panel who are good friends of her's. She said they had the best time ever. Howard asked if it was better than working with him. Sharon said nothing is like that.

  Julie said she heard that Howard signed on for America's Got Talent again. She asked if he knows who is going to be on with him. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he has nothing to do with it. He said he just shows up. Howard said he can work with anyone but Jay Leno. Howard said he loves David Letterman. Howard said he likes the people he works with but he doesn't want to be the one with the blood on his hands. Julie said that's money speaking. She said that he has enough money to live beyond his wildest dreams. Sharon said she thinks at his age it's good because you know your mind and nothing is worth it if you have to sit next to someone with bad breath. Howard said everyone is nice to him on the show. Sharon said they should bring back Mel B. Howard said he likes them all.

  Julie asked if they all get along. Robin said they all get along but Howard is the one who doesn't do anything. Howard said they all have issues. Howard said he sits in the dressing room and doesn't come out. He said he's a pro and he's just there to work. Howard said he's not interested in shenanigans. Sharon said Howard wants to be with people he enjoys being with. Howard said he is yet to meet those people.

  Howard asked what goes on at The Talk. Julie said they have so much fun. She said they all hang out. Howard asked if Julie has had Ozzy and Sharon over for dinner. Sharon said many times. Howard asked if it's a real house. Julie said they live around the corner from each other. She said they have them over often to watch a movie and things like that. Howard said that they have other couples there. Sharon said sometimes. Howard said he imagines that it's always. Sharon said it's not. Howard said he thinks that Les isn't comfortable with Ozzy. Julie said Sharon makes up for it. She said that Sharon can talk to anyone. Howard said Ozzy and Les would make a great TV show. Howard said he would watch that.

  Howard asked if they know what they're going to eat when they make dinner. Julie said they have to know about food allergies. Howard said he saw Les in a bathing suit once. They were in Cabo at the same time. Howard said that he saw Julie there too.

  Howard asked about what they wear to dinner and things like that. Sharon was making stuff up just to make Howard happy. She said that Julie wears a black dress with diamonds. Julie said that is so not true. She said Sharon is always the most interesting guest. Sharon said she doesn't know most of the people at the party. Howard said it must be fun there. Howard asked how big the screening room is. Sharon said it's huge. She said that they play it on film too. She said they don't do video.

  Howard said he has a chair and a big screen. Howard said it's just a TV screen. Sharon said they have a real movie theater in their home. She said that they have two guys with the film reels in there too. Howard said he would love to be at that party. Howard asked who picks the movie. Julie said she and Les pick the movie. She said they'll go through the hot movies and pick one. Sharon said they saw Exodus before they left. She said it was great.

  Howard asked what happens after the movie. Sharon said they all leave because that's the right thing to do. She said you don't linger. Sharon said she might linger though. Howard said if he was invited he would walk in and say he has three projects he's working on and he'd want them on CBS. Howard said he would pitch everything. Julie said her husband would listen to Howard.

  Howard asked if Sharon behaves. Julie said she does not. She said they do a lot of girl things at the house. She said they will have some wine and things like that at their house. Howard asked if Les gets upset about that. Julie said that he doesn't.

  Howard asked who else comes over. Julie said all of the girls from The Talk come over. Howard asked if Sarah Gilbert brings her girlfriend over. Sharon said that it's her wife. Howard said he doesn't know everything about Sarah Gilbert.

  Julie asked how Beth is doing. Howard said she told him to let them know that she loves them. Howard said Beth is going to be on the Meredith Viera show. Howard said that she's promoting her book. Julie asked if Howard will do their show. Howard said he doesn't want to fly. Howard said he hates planes.

  Howard said CBS announced that Craig Ferguson is being replaced. He said while they are waiting for him to be replaced they're going to have the girls from The Talk taking his place. Howard said this is very interesting. Howard asked what they will do if The Talk does well at night. Howard asked if they are doing a special episode. Julie said they are. She said it will be more racy. Howard said this is an interesting experiment. Howard said that they've never had women on a late night talk show. Robin said other than Chelsea Handler and Joan Rivers. Julie said they're going to mix it up with different CBS stars hosting the show while Craig is gone. Howard said that it could lead to them getting a late night show if the new guy doesn't work out. Howard asked when this is happening. Sharon and Julie said it's the week of January 12th. Howard said this is a test. Julie said they've already signed James Corden so this isn't a test. Howard said he thinks that if it doesn't work out for James Corden then it could lead to The Talk taking over.

  Howard asked Sharon about having sex with Jay Leno. Sharon said it only took a minute. Howard asked if she had an orgasm. Sharon said no because it didn't last long enough. Howard asked if Jay wore protection. Sharon said he did not. She didn't remember if he came inside of her. Howard said she could have had Jay's baby. Sharon said it would have been like a chin on a chair. Howard said that Jack doesn't look like Jay. Howard said that maybe her older daughter does but he doesn't know.

  Howard asked Julie if she's had any famous boyfriends. Julie said no. Howard asked who she dated before Les. Julie said that was in college. She said she had a boyfriend there. She said she had another boyfriend through work. Howard said guys must have hit on her like crazy. Julie said before she had her eye surgery she looked like she was always angry. She said that she thinks that people thought she was cold and bitchy. Howard said that Sharon was the opposite. Sharon said she would fuck anyone.

  Howard said that Julie would never fuck Jay Leno. Julie said no. Sharon said that's because he's not on CBS. Julie said that Sharon is the one to do and say outrageous things all the time. She told Howard about how she went to London and grabbed Camilla's boobs and shook them around asking if they were real. Howard said that he really doesn't like this royalty thing. Sharon said that the Queen is something special.

  Howard said Billy Corgan is coming in next. Howard said Sharon and Billy had a big feud. Sharon said they had some issues. She said that was a long time ago and everyone is mellow now. Howard said he loves Billy. Howard said he's sorry but he does. Sharon said she loves their music. Howard said she must be glad she's not in the business now. Sharon said she's still in the business or what's left of it. Howard asked Sharon why she's mad at U2. Sharon said that it's so hard to sell music and they were giving it away for free. Sharon said they said it was a gift for everyone and she thought ''Fuck you'' they're getting millions from Apple. She said that the album is just mediocre too. She said that Bono is a lovely man though. Howard asked if she was happy about his bike accident. She said she wasn't happy about that. Sharon said he is a great man. Julie said they were very good to Ozzy a few weeks back when they saw him at the European MTV Music Awards. They wrote Ozzy a letter.

  Howard said he heard that Robin Williams came to visit Sharon when she was in the hospital. Sharon said he came and entertained her for two hours. Sharon said Ozzy called him and asked him to visit her and he did it. She said she didn't even know him. Howard said he had him on the show once and he has regrets about the whole thing. Howard said that for two days before he died he had strong feelings about calling Robin and apologizing to him for that interview he had done. Howard said that he feels bad about not calling him. Howard said that the interview was like 100 years ago. He said he made it too much about himself and not about Robin. Robin said that it was all about Howard at the time.

  Howard asked Sharon if she said something to Robin to depress him. Sharon said she loves him but that's not right. Howard asked if anything sexual happened with her and Robin. Sharon said that she was hooked up to two different machines and she had no hair. She said she had no fingernails or hair. Sharon said nothing happened. Howard said he loves when Sharon and Julie come in.

  Howard said that's a very moving story about Robin coming to visit her. Sharon said he was a great man. Howard said she's depressed everyone now. Howard said goodbye to Julie and told her to say hi to Les. Julie said he was so nervous about this. Howard said he has no reason to be. Howard said if Julie is ever ill in the hospital he'll come lay in the bed with her and make her laugh. Howard said she'll laugh alright. Sharon said she'll laugh when she sees it.

  Howard said the two of them are very fun. He said he will watch The Talk at 2pm on CBS. He said that he'll also see them on the fill in week for The Late, Late Show on January 12th. Howard said he'd like to be invited to a movie night at Julie and Les' house. Julie said the door is always open to him but he's busy with his other friends out there. Howard wrapped up and went to break after that. As they were going to break they played a prank call the guys made to a woman using Tracy Morgan audio clips. They also played Sal's ''Gary is a Horse Tooth Jackass'' Christmas song parody.

• Smashing Pumpkins Perform Live. 12/09/14. 8:10am
  After the break they played a ''Howard Stern Show the Board Game'' commercial parody. They also played a Big Foot tip about fingering a man's asshole. They also played a Christmas gay porn clip and a gagging porn clip to some music and then ''Food Came Through on the Other Side'' song. There was also a Caninus song and then a clip of Underdog Lady, Suzanne Muldowney, talking about Howard on a show called Beyond Vaudeville. Fred played Crazy Alice clips in the song ''Had a Bad Day'' and then Metallica's ''One'' as they were coming back.

  Howard came back and said he has the Smashing Pumpkins in studio. He said they're a great band. Billy Corgan said ''whatever's left of them.'' Howard said there have been a lot of members in the band. Billy said that it's total madness in the business. Howard said that Sharon was their manager for a short time. Billy said it was about 5 months. He said they're cool now. He said they made up years ago. Billy said that she wasn't able to relate to the alternative world. She said she was more about heavy metal. She said she didn't understand why he was wearing a dress and things like that. He said she just thought that he was insane.

  Howard said they have a new album out and it's their 10th. Howard said that Billy isn't even sure why he's putting an album out because no one buys music anymore. Howard said he loved their last album. He asked why even put an album out. Billy told him to ask the record industry. He said they build the whole thing around that. Howard said this album that's coming out is called ''Monuments To An Elegy'' and it's a 44 album concept. Billy said they're past that now. Howard asked if he drove himself crazy writing it. Billy said he did. He asked Howard what he would do if people stopped listening to his format. Billy said Howard made it his own and he's been able to make his own business model. Billy said he can't do that. He asked what he's supposed to do. Howard said actors have to do shitty movies sometimes because they have to act.

  Howard asked if they could just put out songs. Billy said they tried that and it didn't work. He said sometimes it would sell and sometimes a song would be totally ignored. Howard said having a band is the toughest thing in the world. Especially for Billy. Billy laughed. Howard said he lost his drummer to drugs and he had a guitar player who disappeared. Billy said no one knows where he went.

  Howard said that Brad the drummer was in Rage against the Machine. Billy said he's not in the band because he wouldn't do that to Brad. Howard asked what went wrong with Rage. Brad said that it was like 3 men trying to be married. Howard said they had such a good thing going. He said you'd think you'd fight to keep it together. Brad said he did.

  Howard asked Brad how he hooked up with Billy. Brad said he's been a fan since the beginning and they had a mutual friend who hooked them up. Howard asked if he can give Billy some advice about any behavior he's seen so far. Brad said he hasn't seen anything. Billy said he has matured. He said you have to learn things.

  Howard said he's going to play a couple of songs. He said that he got all charged up hearing them warming up. Howard played one of their old songs called ''Today'' and asked if that was their first hit. Billy said it was. He said they were suddenly the greatest thing ever. Billy said they were in a club suddenly and then they wanted to try to make them conform to another club. Howard said the world changes when this song comes out. Billy said it starts another thing about them possibly being a one hit wonder or something. Howard said that the song comes out and then the pressure is on to create more hits. Billy said he loved that. He said he loves competition. He said he grew up playing sports and he loves the competition. Billy said there is something about that moment when you're great.

  Howard said he thinks that Nirvana and Smashing Pumpkins were the most influential bands of their time. Robin asked about Pearl Jam. Billy said he thinks they were derivative. Howard asked if their music will stand the test of time. Billy said that's hard to say. Billy said he doesn't think they have the songs. Billy said they have made it work for them. He said he doesn't get how they've kept it going but they have. Billy said that they are his competitors so that's why he has to say this stuff. Howard said this is why he likes Billy. He said he's honest about this stuff. Howard said that the Stones and the Beatles were like that. He said they were always like that. Billy said it's healthy. Howard asked if he would do an album with Eddie Vedder if he asked him to. Billy said they were friends at one point. He said he hasn't been in the social frame with the guy for a long time. He said that it wasn't a falling out. He said he thinks that people are just transformed by fame. Billy said he knew one person and he became another person. Billy said maybe he's changed too and maybe Eddie feels the same way. Billy said Eddie had to deal with a level of fame that he never had to so maybe that's the difference.

  Billy said that he has jealousy if he thinks that someone is great. Howard asked if he can think of a song that he wishes he wrote. Billy said there are a bunch of Cobain songs that will stand the test of time. He said that he has an unbelievable catalog. Howard asked if he would go out and buy the album and bring it home. Billy said that Courtney was his ex-girlfriend and Kurt was living with her. He said that she can pick guys from across the room. He said she knew talent. Billy said he's the one who found Courtney. He said that a record label sent a box of music to him and he flipped over the single that she had and he had to meet her. Billy said he saw her picture and had to meet her. Billy said that this was before he even heard her music. Billy said he only had that one other time and that was his friend Sasha Grey who was a porn star for a while. He said that he had to meet her too. Billy said that he thinks that she's undervalued as a musician. He said she's a ground breaker. Billy said Courtney says that he stopped writing hits when he stopped writing about her but he said that she stopped writing hits when he stopped writing her songs.

  Howard said Dave Grohl made up with Courtney Love. He said that was a shock. Howard asked if he is a fan of Foo Fighters. Billy said he thinks Dave is a great musician. He said he has done the work. Howard asked what he would tell him to do. Billy said he thinks that they haven't evolved. Billy said they're making the same music. Billy said he has put his life on the line to make different music. He said that they don't do that. He said they make the same stuff.

  Howard said that Billy was into wrestling for a while. Howard said that maybe this is a wrestling type of move. Billy said he might feel like he's been held to a different standard. Billy said he doesn't see the evolution of their music. He said he'd like to see them evolve. That's just his opinion.

  Howard said Billy met Courtney and they hit it off. Howard asked if she came to see his band play. Billy said she was dating her guitar player and she didn't tell him about that. He said that got that guy mad at him but now things are okay. He said this is like high school stuff. Howard asked if Kurt stole her from him. Billy said he threw her out of his apartment. He said she did this thing where she called and asked if he wanted to see her. Billy said he's a guy so of course he did. He said he had a girlfriend at the time. He said she showed up at the door and it was crazy after that. He said that she was like a typhoon at the time. Billy said Courtney picked the bigger fish when she went to Kurt. Howard said it's amazing that the rock and roll guys were picking her. Billy said she was smoking hot back in the day. He said she's still hot but back then she was really hot. Howard asked if the sex was fantastic. Billy said it was kind of mythical. Howard asked if it was weird. Billy said he's not sure what that is.

  Howard played some of Smashing Pumpkins ''Bullet With Butterfly Wings'' and said that he likes the lyrics and he feels the world is a vampire to him. He said he has recited those lyrics in his therapy sessions. Howard asked if this is the best song he's ever written. Billy said no but he wasn't able to name his best. Howard asked if this was their best album. Billy said it was. Howard said it was Grammy Nominated. Billy said they didn't win. He said Celine Dion won. Billy said they were nominated for 7 and they only won 1. He said Celine brought up 12 producers and introduced them as the little people in her career. Billy said that he was thinking ''This is Wacky World.'' He said that he cut his veins open to do what he did and that's how she did her thing.

  Howard said there were years that Billy was suicidal. Howard said his mother was horrible to him. Billy said she was abusive to him. Howard said that the world beats the shit out of you. Billy said his music is about healing and having a better life now. He said that this new album is emblematic about that.

  Howard played some of Smashing Pumpkins ''1979'' and asked if he wrote that quickly. Billy said he did it in about 20 minutes. Howard asked if it's the most important song on the record. Billy said it was for him personally. He said that it happened on the last day. He said they couldn't figure out how to record it. He said it's not a band song. He said they eventually figured it out but they only had one day to do it. Billy said that it translates across cultures really well. He said it gets the same reaction all over the world.

  Howard said the song ''Tonight, Tonight'' is a tribute to Cheap Trick. Billy said they do sing that lyric in a song and it was kind of a tribute. Howard said this is some song too. He said that's an accomplishment. Howard asked if they recorded it with an orchestra. Billy said it was a 30 piece orchestra. He said he had to write out the charts. Howard asked if he knows how to do it. Billy said no and he had to have someone help translate. He said that he had a woman who he worked with and she kept telling him that he ''can't do that.'' He said he knew he could do that.

  Howard said they're going to play ''Zero'' live today. Howard asked if he still likes playing that. Billy said he does. Howard said he used to play a t-shirt with ''Zero'' on it. He asked why he did that. Billy said that he was told that he was nothing and a loser. He said he wanted to show people what would happen if he shaved his head and negated himself. He said that's when he shaved his head and started wearing that shirt. Billy said he has a huge birthmark on his arm and kids would say if they touched him they would die. He said that's hard on a kid. Howard said that's tough on a kid. Billy said you can't hide from it. He said that he had to think about what he was willing to present and what he was. He said that he almost had a split personality. Howard asked if he wrote this song quickly. Billy said it was another 20-30 minute song. Billy said they worked on his birthday and they did the music over the course of an hour or so. He said that he writes the lyrics after coming up with the music. Billy said the music sort of tells him what the lyrics should be. They went right into the song ''Zero'' after that.

  After the song Howard said this band sounds terrific together. Howard said that they're going to play something new too. Howard said that he heard that he might end the band if this album doesn't sell. Billy said that's not quite true. He said that he was doing an interview and he said some things he didn't mean.

  Howard said that the guys are going to cover David Bowie's ''Fame'' and he asked if he loves him. Billy said he is a lovely person. Howard said he had him on the show once and he did a couple of songs but he didn't get to interview him. Billy said he hasn't gotten to know him very well but just a little bit. He said he has played shows together and he knows him through some people. He said he was on his 50th birthday show. Howard asked if he got to sit down and tell him how much he means to him. Billy said he didn't because he feels weird when people do that to him. He said he did write something for an article about him. He said that's probably the best way to do that.

  Howard asked why Billy chose this song. Billy said it's a perfect distillation of the situation. Howard asked Billy if he emails David. Billy said he doesn't. Howard asked if they have been practicing this song. Billy said they have been playing this on tour so they have it down. Howard had them play after that. They went right into their cover of ''Fame.''

  After that song Howard said that's fucking great. Howard asked if they have released it. Billy said no but people are asking. Howard said that's a sexy riff. Billy said it's great. Howard said that's very exciting. Howard said these guys all sit there playing and it's like one brain. Howard said they all know how to read each other. Howard asked one of the guys, Mark, if he was with him. Mark said he is. Howard said Bowie is amazing.

  Howard asked if they do covers a lot. Billy said not really. He said he just covers himself. Howard asked if they do any Stones covers. Billy said they used to cover that song ''Stray Cat Blues'' and it has a lyric about someone being 14 years old and not checking an ID. He said that doesn't go over so well these days.

  Howard asked Billy if he's having a good time. Billy said he has a great partner so he's doing great. Howard introduced Jeff the guitar player and asked if he's married. Jeff said he's not. Howard asked if women still look at him like a rock star. Jeff said Mark can respond to that better than he can. Howard asked Mark about that and Mark said he has a girlfriend. He didn't have much else to say. Brad the drummer said he just broke up recently and they have two kids so it's tough. Howard said he should go back to her. Howard said he must be living in a place with a hot plate and two other guys. Brad laughed.

  Howard asked if the guys are excited about the new album and if they're going to tour. Billy said they're really just doing a promotional tour to let people know about the new album. Howard said he figured they have to go out and push the album with the tour. Billy said no one knows anymore. He said if it worked they'd all be doing it and selling records. Howard asked if people are asking for a tour. Billy said not really. He said he knows he's going to have a lot of angry Foo Fighters writing to him when he goes home.

  Howard asked what the album name means. Billy said it's like a funeral album. He said he knows that's not a great way to get people to buy it. Howard said the album is a tribute to the audience saying that this is what they think they are. Howard said this album isn't the way they are but the way people think they are and they're going to kill that thing they think they are. Robin said she has to hear this to hear what it sounds like. Howard was getting confused trying to figure that out. Billy said now he can see why Sharon got so freaked out by him.

  Billy said that most radio stations won't play his non-rock songs. He said they think that he's a rock band. He said the songs Howard played aren't that heavy but people think he was in a heavy band. He said that his bigger hits were pop songs. He said that these people think that he was in a heavy rock band but that's not what the hits were. Howard said that has to drive him nuts. Billy said it makes him insane. Billy said he doesn't know what's going on. Howard said he guesses he won't be covering any Pearl Jam songs on tour. Billy said he won't but he does have a ukulele he can play.

  Howard had the guys perform their next song which was ''One and All'' from their album ''Monuments To An Elegy''.

  After the song Howard said that was beautiful. Howard said Billy's voice still sounds good. Howard asked if he does anything to take care of it. Billy said he doesn't drink or smoke. Howard asked if he worked with Tommy Lee on that song. Billy said he did. He said that he said to Jeff that they should get someone like Tommy to play drums and Jeff suggested getting the real Tommy. He said Tommy heard the demos and he thought this was one of the best albums he had written. He said he wanted to play on every song. Howard said that he is pretty particular about who plays on his stuff. Billy said he knows Tommy so he knew he could do it. He said that he was fantastic too. Howard asked if he was nervous asking him to do it. Billy said he never doubted him for a second. He said that he has seen Tommy play live and it's like you can see the arenas in your mind. He said he plays that way in a tiny room like Robin's booth.

  Howard said Tommy must have been shocked when he called. Billy said he was. He said that Tommy doesn't get the credit he deserves as a musician. He said he is a great musician and other musicians know that. Billy said that people have started to reevaluate his place in music again. Billy said he thinks they helped each other out. Billy said he really is an incredible person.

  Howard asked if Billy is writing a memoir now. Billy said he is. Howard said it could be massive. Howard said he would read that. Howard said he knows he's honest and he will talk about music and his life. Howard said he's so honest about it and he thinks it would be a good book. Billy thanked him for that. He said that everyone in the book is under pseudonyms. He said that he didn't want to write a celebrity book. He said he wanted to be honest about his music life but he didn't want to mention names. He said you'll be able to figure out who some of them are. He said that his instinct is to protect some people because they are private citizens.

  Howard said the guys played great today. Howard said that they covered something old, something new and something borrowed... but nothing blue. Howard said fuck blue. Howard said this was fun. He said he knows it's early. He said the bass player is going to kick his ass for getting them up so early. Howard said their new album is available now. Howard said you can find out more about their tour at SmashingPumpkins.com. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later. As they went to break they played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a restaurant with Sal giving the order as a monster truck show announcer.

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• Robin's News. 12/09/14. 9:30am
  After the break Howard came back and said it was time for Robin's news. They played Robin in with a song parody about her to the tune of the Addams Family theme song. Howard said that's great. Robin thought it was awful. Howard said that they did that to remember Pugsley.

  Robin started her news with a story about drones. Robin said Howard is a fan. Robin said that they can be a problem though. Robin said they're a problem for aircraft. Robin said they are also putting drones in weird places. Robin said TGI Fridays was putting Mistletoe on drones and they were flying around the restaurant. Robin said one of the reporters who covered it and she was crashed into and her nose was almost cut off. Howard said that's not what they're meant to be used for. Robin said that they were designed to be used for kids and this shows how dangerous they can be. Howard said you can't give drones to kids. Howard said this isn't child's play.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked if you have homosexual feelings all your life and then you try it and it's horrible, are you gay? Howard asked what happened to him. The caller, Mark, said that he always thought what it would be like to be with a guy. He said he met a guy on Craigslist and he gave the guy a blow job and it was horrible. Howard asked if it was horrible because his cock was too small or what. Mark said he just didn't like it. He said it was disgusting. Robin asked why he finished. Howard said if you're in a room you feel like you have to finish.

  Howard asked Mark about this and asked if he found him attractive. Mark said no. Howard asked if he just pulled his pants down. Mark said he did. There was no romance there. Howard asked if he wanted to get out of the room right away. Mark said he went into another dimension and just did it. Howard said it was the biggest mistake of his life. Mark said it was. He said he's wondering if he should shoot himself in the head for doing it. Howard said no. He said there's no reason to get depressed. Howard said he knew a guy who knew a guy who blew a guy. He said this is true. He said the guy didn't want to blow the guy. Howard said it's possible that mark is a heterosexual who is just curious. Howard said now he's beating himself up. He said it's not such a horrible thing. He said there's no reason to beat himself up. He said he might be bi-sexual and he might like blowing guys. Robin said he might like being blown. Mark said no, no, no. He said the other guy just took off after he finished. He said that he isn't looking to it ever again. Howard asked how long it took him to finish. Mark said it was quick. He said that the guy pulled out and finished in a tissue or something. Howard said he's not sure what the question is. Robin said he should let himself off the hook. He has no reason to feel bad. Howard said after this he might want to go talk to a professional. He said he doesn't have to talk about killing himself. He told him to get on with his life.

  Benjy said the guy said the other guy wasn't attractive. He said maybe he would be happier if he was a good looking guy. Mark said he wouldn't. Howard said he knows guys who were forced into that shit and they hold themselves responsible. Howard said they blame themselves. Howard said that this isn't a big deal. Howard said he did it and he wishes he didn't. He said he did it and that's that. Howard said he is all confused now. Howard said he's trying to figure it all out. Robin said he should just let it go. Howard told him to go fuck a couple of girls. Mark said he does. Howard let him go. Howard said he might not be gay. Robin said he might be a little bi-sexual. Howard said for Fred he might consider it. That's the Fred from 15 years ago. Howard said they've all gotten older.

  Howard said he jerked off thinking about some chick he had banged. He said he gets off on that stuff. Howard said that he was done in one, two, three. He said that he put on some porn one night. He said that has to have stopped some suicides. Howard said people need jerking off material. He said that's what they need in those countries where women are covered up in Birkas. Howard said he saw a lesbian video and this woman behind a desk has fallen asleep at the job. The owner asks her what kind of job she's doing. Then she makes her suck her toe. Howard said she does that with the woman's stockings on. Then the woman's shirt is off and she's arching her back with her boobs out. Then the employee is eating out her boss. Howard said the boss ends up doing the same to the employee. Howard said then the girls are going to town with fingers and then he was done. Howard said this is what guys need to see. Robin said those guys might not be allowed to jerk off. Howard said he knows what to do to Gary if he falls asleep at work.

  Robin asked if Howard has ever seen gay porn. Howard said in 1973 he saw an erotic film festival. He said they had straight sex but then they had a gay sex film in the middle of it. Howard said he did stick around and watch it. He said that he didn't get aroused in any way. Robin asked if he's sure. Howard said absolutely no boner at all. Howard said that's not his thing. He said if you're into it he doesn't care. He's fine with it. Howard said he was willing to watch it. He said it was pretty hard core.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the fruit who just called in. Howard said this is why he told him not to talk about it anymore. The caller was asking if Benjy is bi. Howard said that he did the finger in the ass with Perez Hilton. Benjy said that he has had guys try to do stuff to him but he has always stopped them. He said he's not bi-sexual. Howard said he's not sure what is up with Sal and Richard. He said they're looking at each other's cocks every minute.

  The caller also brought up the birth mark on Billy's arm. He said that he saw a picture of Howard and Lady Gaga on the couch and he has such a long chin. He asked if he would consider getting that shaved down. Howard said he feels bad enough about himself. Howard said he reads on the internet about people saying that he has a chin implant and a wig. Howard said it's so stupid. Howard said these guys attack him in the most lame way.

  Gary said that they were talking about Richard and Sal and Richard came in and told him about the nude Jacuzzi and how they got a couple's massage in the same room. Sal came in and told Howard about that. He said that they were at Richard's bachelor party in Atlantic City. He said they got a couple's massage. Howard said when they do this on the air it's funny but they're doing it off the air too. Howard said that's just weird. Howard asked if Richard is into painting his cock and things like that. Sal said he thinks that Richard laughs to mask that he enjoys it. Sal said he's fine with that if Richard enjoys it.

  Sal told Howard to try painting to Metallica's ''Unforgiven 3''. Howard said that was weird. He rushed Sal out of there after that.

  Robin read a story about Ohio State university and how officials there knew about a tradition of the school band playing in underwear or less when they play. Robin said that's one reason they let the band leader go.

  Robin said that there's a plan to have a free Wi-Fi network in New York City and it would be built at no cost to the citizens there. Robin said that it would be the fastest public network in the country.

  Robin read a story about Time Magazine's nominees for person of the year. Robin read the list of the nominees and spent a couple of minutes talking about some of those nominees. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read a story about people getting their pictures taken with Santa. Howard said that's so creepy. Howard said if you put your kid on some stranger's lap then you'd do that with anyone. Howard said that's just creepy. Robin said that she saw a child crying in a store with a Santa. Howard said that you'd think we'd learn a lesson with the whole Cosby thing. Howard said that he's America's Dad and he could have done all of these horrible things. Howard said it doesn't seem like they're screening Santa. Robin said people love that picture with Santa. Robin said she remembers wanting to go see Santa. She was convinced that he was real.

  Robin read about how there's an investigation going on for the Bill Cosby case. Robin said that's being brought about because of a woman who claims she was 15 when Cosby allegedly assaulted her.

  Howard said he tried sketching Gary yesterday but it didn't come out very well. He said one day he'll get it. He said he's very complicated. Fred played the Richard Simmons ''Gary!?'' clips as he was talking about that.

  Robin read a story about divorce and a study that was done about that. Howard said he thinks that it's a biological thing. Howard said that we're animals and we populate the earth. Howard said that people get sick of each other and it's instinctual to breed. Howard said that it's like a preservation of the species. Robin said she tends to agree with that. Howard said he thinks that's why it's a biological thing. Howard said in the past we had a lifespan of like 30s and some people would make it to their 70s. Howard said now you live really long and you just get tired of someone.

  Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who got in a plug for a book signing that Beth is doing today. Mariann said that she's going to make her way down there for that. Howard said he didn't know about the book signing. Robin asked Mariann to get her a few copies of the book for her. Howard said he thinks that Beth would get them for her. Howard said that he didn't know she was doing the signing today. It's at Barnes and Noble on 82nd and Broadway.

  Robin had some more details about the divorce story. She went through some reasons people said they split. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read a story about Nick Cannon being on a show talking about his split with Mariah Carey and how he's going to spend Christmas with her and the kids. Robin had an audio clip of that interview.

  Robin read about Kate Hudson and Howard said that she's gotten hotter. He said she must be hitting the gym. Robin said that she has called off her engagement and she's dating someone else. Howard said that guy doesn't know how to bang her. Howard said she needs someone like him. Howard said that he bets that she's a sexual player. Howard said she seems like a character. Howard said she seems like a hippie type. He said she's been made to feel good about herself and he would guess she's good in bed.

  Robin read a story about P. Diddy and Drake getting into it at a club in Miami. Robin said that Drake came out on the worst end of it. Robin read about what people are saying caused the run in. Robin said they say that it took place outside of the club. Robin said that Diddy allegedly punched Drake 3 times. Robin said they say that Drake and his people left immediately and Diddy went back in and partied. Howard said he's on Diddy's side in this since he's been on the show. Howard said he has no idea who Drake is. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin said they were talking to that guy yesterday about his wife cheating on him. Robin said that Floyd Mayweather was on Facetime when another man pulled out a gun and shot himself and his wife when he thought that she was being unfaithful. Robin said that Floyd pleaded with him to get a grip but he ended up doing it anyway. Robin said he was witness to the murder/suicide.

  Howard took a call from Ralph who said that Billy Corgan and the Smashing Pumpkins were great. He said the songs were great and he still listens to them all the time. He said Billy has a lot going on in his head. He said he was thinking that they might be more successful if he got out of his own head a bit. Howard said he feels bad but that's the process Billy has to go through. He said Billy had such an awful upbringing and he was abused and had a really rough childhood. Howard said he has this art form and he's probably as healthy as anyone can be coming out of that situation. Ralph said he does such great work and he isn't recognized enough. Howard said the guy is a genius. Howard let Ralph go after that.

  Howard said Ralph lent him a cartoon yesterday. He said it's a new Batman cartoon. He said this one is with the Arkham mental hospital. Howard said that's where he's most comfortable. Howard said he loves the show Gotham too. He said it deals with a young Bruce Wayne and Commissioner Gordon. He said that it was announced that the SyFy Network is going to do a show called Krypton. He said that he was afraid to say he won't like it because he did that with Gotham. Howard said this goes back to Clark Kent's grandfather and how he built Krypton. Howard said at least Gotham they get to see some current stuff but with Krypton they won't have super powers. He said Clark Kent was a baby on Krypton. Howard said that he'd rather meet Superman.

  Robin read a story about how there is no evidence showing that Governor Christie had anything to do with Bridgegate. Howard said he thinks that damaged him but he hopes he can recover from that. Howard said they insinuated him into it and that's not right if he had nothing to do with it. Robin said this is the second report that found not a shred of evidence. Howard said it's so hard to get good politicians. Howard said people hate you immediately. He said it's become a horrible occupation. Howard wondered if Cosby is tainted for life. Robin said she thinks he is. Howard said that this guy is hiding and no one has seen him. Howard said he figured out a way to avoid the cameras. He said you have to assume that these celebrities who are photographed all the time just can't figure it out. Howard said they should go to Cosby and ask how he's doing it.

  Robin read a story about six people dying in a plane crash when it hit a home. Robin said they were trying to land at an airport when something went wrong. Robin said they crashed into the second level of a home. Robin said the house burned up completely. Robin said a mother and her two children were killed. Robin said the mother was home on maternity leave. Robin said she tried to save her kids from the flames and they found her body on top of the kid's bodies in the bathroom. Howard said you should never die in a plane crash in a house. Howard said he's been afraid of dying in a plane crash but not in his house. Howard said they need more stringent controls over people who fly. Robin said the woman's husband was at work and her other child was at school. Robin said it's terrible.

  Robin read a story about the royals being in town. Robin said Prince William and Duchess Kate are going to the 9/11 memorial today. Howard said that whole royal thing is weird. Robin said she would like to meet their president but she never gets to. She said that they just get to go. Howard said it's like Disneyland is like a tourist trap and so is the whole royals thing. Howard said it all just rubs him the wrong way. He said they don't do anything. Robin said William and Kate were spending time with President Obama yesterday.

  Robin read about the protesters who were staging a die in at the Barclay center in Brooklyn yesterday. Robin said some protesters tried to get into the place but they were turned away. Robin said that John Legend sent a food truck out to the protesters. Robin said this is still going on. Robin said that they'll have more and more investigators going on through the holidays.

  Robin read a story about the group claiming responsibility for hacking into the Sony studios saying they want Sony to pull the movie ''The Interview'' and not release it. Robin said they say that it could cause a war if they release the movie. Howard said this is great promotion for the movie. Robin said it really is. Robin said the movie is about Seth Rogen and James Franco being assigned to kill Kim Jong Un. Howard said James Franco and Seth Rogen will be in next week to promote the movie.

  Robin read about another person claiming that he was molested by Jerry Sandusky in 1988. Robin said that this man wants Sandusky taken back to court. He thought he was going to be part of a second trial but that never happened. That led to Howard playing a ''A Very Jerry Sandusky Christmas'' commercial parody. He also played a clip of what it sounds like when Robin smokes weed. It was a clip of her coughing and laughing.

  Robin had some audio of Rudy Giuliani talking about how people should treat police with respect. Robin said the time to argue is in court and not on the street. Robin said she had an audio clip of a stabbing suspect being shot inside a synagogue. Robin said that this man was holding a knife and he had stabbed someone. Robin said the officers arrived at the scene and tried to get him to drop the knife. Robin said it's never a polite scene where people are just standing around when these things happen.

  Robin said that they're asking for Oscar Pistorius to serve more time for shooting his girlfriend. Howard said he's all for that. Robin had some audio of someone in court asking for more time. Robin said he was sentenced to basically a manslaughter charge. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:35am.

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• Wrap Up Show - Smashing Pumpkins And Richard's Bachelor Party. 12/09/14. 10:35am
  Jon Hein started the show going over what they were going to talk about today. He said he wanted to start off talking about Smashing Pumpkins and Billy Corgan. Jon said that he's always interesting on the show. Jon said that Billy had some interesting things to say about his compatriots from the Northwest. Gary said that he was pretty forthcoming about where he feels his place in music history is. He said that he had his opinion about those bands. He said that people don't take to that well sometimes. Jon said that you can be proud of what you do. He said he did praise Kurt Cobain. He said that he wasn't thrilled with Foo Fighters or Pearl Jam. Gary said that Howard had asked if that's part of the wrestler in him. He said you are supposed to think that you're better than other people but most people won't say it out loud. Gary said that he's just more open about it.

  Jon said he thinks Howard has it in him too. Gary said that people who die young are frozen in time. He said that Nirvana never had the chance to be tainted. He said that he thinks that even the best bands can have some records that aren't that great. He said if Buddy Holly had lived he might be playing some bad Rock and Roll review shows. Jon said that it can happen. Gary said if James Dean had lived he'd be fat and probably not very good. Jon said that when Smashing Pumpkins came on the scene they were called the next Nirvana. He said that he made the point to say that they were punk but they also had a lot of pop stuff. Jon said that when you try to label someone like that their back is up. Gary said he remembers hearing his version of Landslide and it's really amazing. He said that he really loves the band. He said that he wasn't a big fan early on because it felt like their music was being forced on them. He said it was just too much. Now when he hears them they have some amazing songs.

  Jon said that Billy is a big Rush fan too. He said Richard knows about that. Jon asked Richard about Sal calling him out about the couple's massage. He said he's getting a vibe from Sal that it's all Richard's idea to do this stuff. He said it seemed like it was both of their ideas back in the day. Gary said he's not sure what's going on there. Richard said maybe he's afraid his sons will hear about it. He said that there were always things that Sal was hesitant to do. He said he didn't want to lick his taint but he did it anyway.

  Jon asked Richard about his bachelor party which was just Sal and Richard. Richard said he wanted to do something mellow. He didn't care about doing something big. Jon said it sounds more like a date with Sal. Richard just laughed. Jon said this isn't a bachelor party. Richard said he wasn't going to do anything but he had a coupon for Atlantic City so he suggested going down there to have a nice weekend. Gary asked if they had separate rooms. Richard said he can't remember but it might not have been. He said that they would have had separate beds.

  Gary asked Richard if Sal comes out naked after a shower. Richard said Sal would have a towel but he's always naked himself. He said he would do that stuff to make people laugh. Jon asked Richard about going to the spa for the Jacuzzi. Richard said there were other guys there and the one guy kept moving closer and closer to them. He said that guy was trying to be friendly and a little bit too friendly. Jon said you can't blame the guy if he sees two guys there together. Richard said that he's surprised the guy didn't look at them like they were a couple and he wouldn't hit on them because of that. Gary said maybe he was looking for a threesome.

  Jon asked if this bachelor party makes Richard seem gay. Gary said it does make it seem like if he's not gay then he's on the waiting list. Richard said he gets a laugh out of that. He said that it's all fine with him whatever they think. Jon asked if he understands how they come to that conclusion. Richard said he gets it. He said that was back in the day when they had a train that went to Atlantic City. He said they brought booze on the train and a guy said he could kick them off for that. He said that he was getting married and the guy may have thought that he was marrying Sal.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal and Richard are like an old married couple and Sal is doing stuff for Richard just like a wife would do for her husband. He said that now that they're the old married couple the sex part is dried up and they're in the new phase where he's trying to make him happy. Jon asked Richard if he feels that way. Richard said he thinks that they're still the same friends they always were. He said they're not up for the same stunts they used to do. Jon said Sal has passed that. Gary said he's grown. He said he's like one of those gay guys who thinks he's gotten cured at church but he's really not. They had to take a break after that.

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• Wrap Up Show - Richard And Sal. 12/09/14. 10:55am
  After the break Jon said that Richard's wife Sal was joining them. Sal wished Jon a happy Hanukkah. Jon said he hadn't heard that yet. Sal said he just wanted to be the first. Jon said that Sal is very big on letting Richard do his thing and then following him. Sal said Richard is still up for some crazy things but he's filtering his list these days. He said it's tough but he'll probably do it if Howard asks him to. He said his kids are getting older and he has to think about that. He said he is older and his kids are getting older. Gary asked Sal why he does the stuff off the air. Sal said it's not a big deal. He said he just feels uneasy doing it on the air. He said that he and Richard have seen each other naked already so he's used to it.

  Richard asked Jon and Gary if they would be comfortable naked in front of each other. Jon said he has zero desire to see him naked and he's sure Gary feels the same way. Jon said he wouldn't ask Gary to get naked in a hot tub like Sal and Richard did. Sal said they didn't have bathing suits. He said they just got naked because they didn't want to get their underwear wet.

  Richard said they were on tour with Charred Walls if the Dammed and he was sharing a room with Don Jamieson and he got in the hot tub naked to take a bath. He said that Don woke up and was kind of shocked. Sal said that getting naked it like riding a roller coaster. He said that it was difficult the first time but after that it was a piece of cake. He said he can just whip it out now. He said it's taking the plunge that's hard. He said that if Jon did it he'd find that it gets easier. Jon asked if it would liberate him in some way. Sal said it would.

  Gary asked if he walks around naked in front of his kids. Sal said he doesn't. He said he has his wife close the blinds too. He said his wife points out that 20 million people have seen him naked. He said he still doesn't want to be naked for the neighbors. Sal said he thinks that Robin likes to see him naked too. Jon said now they're getting into that area where Sal thinks that Robin has a thing for him. Gary said he thinks Sal thinks he could get Robin. Sal said he thinks he could get her if he was a divorced man. He said they get along very well. He said Robin is single and they've worked together for 10 years. He said they have a lot in common too. Jon said he thinks that they could all go out and hang out with Robin. He said it's that next step that's hard. Sal said he doesn't think that would be a problem.

  Sal said that he has whipped out his penis in front of Robin. He said it's not going to be a problem. Gary said he imagines Sal saying ''C'mon baby...'' trying to get her to do something.

  Jon took a call from a woman who said that she is a big fan. She said she was wondering about questioning Richard's sexuality. She said he is the most honest person on the show and if he was gay he would come forward. Gary said up until about two weeks ago someone was the second most trusted person in the country and now he's not. That person is Bill Cosby. Gary said you never know what's going on. Richard said that maybe Gary is hiding something. Sal said something about ''Doth who protest too much...'' and no one corrected him. Jon just let him keep asking if that was right.

  Richard said that if he had gay feelings he would go with that. He said that he has found naked men to be funny but he's not sure why. Sal asked if that's offensive. He asked if gay people would be offended by that. Sal said he doesn't know. He said that's something to think about though.

  Gary said he doesn't think that Richard is gay but he does things that could be considered a gay act. Richard said he doesn't consider them gay though. He said they're funny.

  Jon asked Richard if he would make out with a guy on the show. Richard said he has done that with Joey Boots and another guy in his band just to freak people out. Gary asked Richard if he would have done that bit they did on Saturday Night Live this weekend where James Franco made out with a guy. Richard said he would do it for comedy. He said that stuff is funny. He said it all depends on the situation. Richard said he was willing to blow Ronnie for the show. That never did happen.

  Gary said that there are people who are willing to gay acts for money so is that a gay act or is that just a money thing. Jon said they'll talk more about that after a break. They went to break after that.

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• Wrap Up Show - Julie Chen And Sharon Osbourne. 12/09/14. 11:15am
  After the break Jon said today was one of those days where Howard was very comfortable with the guests. He said that Julie Chen and Sharon Osbourne were easy to talk to. Jon said that Howard asked them about anything and everything. Gary said Sharon lives to be on satellite radio. She can curse all she wants on there. Jon said he thinks that she's thrived on there and in her professional life. Jon said he thinks that a more raunchy version of The Talk would be interesting. He said he's looking forward to them taking over The Late, Late show next month for a week.

  Jon asked Richard if he would want to be managed by Sharon if he was a musician. Richard said she's not going to back down from anyone. He said he'd love that. Gary said she's going to the wall for the band and she'll protect you. Gary said he saw her trying to cut a power line with an axe. He said there was a band going on too long and eating up Ozzy's time and she was trying to pull wires out of the wall. Gary said he can't remember what band that was.

  Jon said that Sharon was the one saying that you don't mess with Julie. Jon said maybe she's even more powerful than they know. Jon said that Sharon is powerful and she'll do anything for her husband. He said you have to admire what she's done. Gary said that she really did a lot for Ozzy. Richard said she was the main person who got him out there and making music again. Richard said he heard that after he was done with Black Sabbath that he wasn't in a good way.

  Jon said that managers can make a difference in a career. Richard said that colonel Tom Parker was a big deal in Elvis' life. Gary said yeah, he took 90 percent. Richard said a good manager will make sure you don't have to worry about business stuff. He said that way they can just concentrate on music.

  Jon took a call from a guy who asked what Sal thinks he has in common with Robin. Sal was gone so Richard did an impression of him that sounded nothing like Sal. Jon asked Gary where that common ground is. Gary said that it might be in his mind. He said they have to get him back and find out. He said there must be some commonality in his mind that he thinks he has with her.

  Richard said he'd like to know what Robin thinks of his wiener. He said he's not sure she's ever said anything nice about it. Jon said they'll have to get that from him.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said Billy Corgan sounds like a diva. He said he seems to have this sense of entitlement or something. He said that it felt like the guys in the band didn't sound like they wanted to be there. Jon said the bass player was tired and said it was too early for him. Jon said he thinks that's what he's referring to.

  Gary asked what the difference is between being a diva and being outspoken. The caller said it came off like a jealousy. Gary said he thinks that Billy was saying that he believes he's better than other bands. He said that it might be over confidence but maybe there are people who agree with him. Jon said when you hear him speak to Howard about that then Howard goes right into shrink mode. He loves talking about that stuff.

  Richard said he agrees with Billy about Tommy Lee and what a great drummer he is. He said he thinks he's so awesome and so innovative and creative. He said there are only a few drummers whose names you know and he's one of them. Gary said he knows that he's the drummer in Motley Crue but only because he saw him honk the horn on the boat with his wiener. Richard said he can only wish he could do that. They spent a short time talking about that.

  Jon asked Lisa G what she had in the news. Lisa ran down a few headlines they had coming up today on Howard 100 News.

  Jon said one thing they didn't talk about was Benjy's inability to give a one word answer. Gary said Benjy can never do that. He said that has been the source of most of the arguments he's had with Benjy over the years. He said it's never yes or not and he thinks you're crazy to think that it should be.

  Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and gave the guys some plugs. They ended the show around 11:30am.

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• Howard's Exclusive Interview With Arnold. 12/10/14. 6:00am
  Show opening bits and songs included: George Takei singing ''I'm Dreaming of a White Penis'', Sal the Stockbroker singing a Christmas song about Baba Booey, Garbage performing ''#1 Crush'' in the Howard Stern Show studio.

  Howard started the show talking about how he knew Maria Shriver wouldn't like Miley Cyrus. Howard said he was reading in the paper today that she was on her way to an art exhibit when she saw that her son was here with Miley and she left. Howard said he did an exclusive interview with Arnold and he is proud of his son. Howard said he'll play some clips. Howard said they're going to schedule the whole interview to be played eventually. Howard said he can't say where he was when he did this interview.

  Howard played a clip of an Arnold impersonator talking about how proud he is of his son. He had a few clips of him. Howard said he did this interview yesterday. He said he asked him about Miley making out with Paris Hilton. He had Arnold saying that his Lederhosen were tight just thinking about that. Arnold also said he heard about how Robin can lick her own tits. He said he can tongue his own ass. Howard said he was so aware of what they've been up to and he's very happy about life. Howard said he was riffing about Miley and his son. Howard said he was the funniest he's ever heard him. He played a few more clips of Arnold talking about how proud he was of him. Arnold was also talking about what he had to do to get where he is and how is son just went right to Miley Cyrus.

  Howard said he asked Arnold about Lou Ferrigno who he used to compete against. Arnold said that he used to compete against him and he asked if his son got famous like his did. Howard said he asked Arnold what it takes to raise a son. Arnold said he taught his son to raise a towel with his penis to strengthen it. Howard said that Arnold is embracing all of this. He said he has a lot of highlights of Arnold talking. He said this would be a 3 hour special. Howard said he was talking about who he thinks his son should be fucking. Arnold was saying that he should be fucking the Kardashians and also whatever Bruce Jenner is turning into.

  Howard said he has a clip of Arnold talking about Maria. Arnold said that she's the erection terminator these days. Howard said that was just a little peek at their exclusive interview with Arnold. He said that he had to take a quick break after that. Howard said Kevin Nealon and Barbara Walters were going to be coming in today. They went to break after that.

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• Victoria's Secret Special Clips. 12/10/14. 6:20am
  After the break they played a Bill Cosby bit where they had him begging for forgiveness and having people drink to a new beginning and all of them passing out. Then they played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a Swap Shop show. They also played a Big Foot Christmas story bit. There was also a Mariann from Brooklyn Christmas song and a Baba Booey Christmas song by Daniel Mendelson.

  Howard came back and asked if Robin can believe they're playing Christmas music already. Robin said it's not that far away. Howard sang along with the Christmas song that Fred was playing. Howard said he's been up since 3 in the morning. He asked JD what he's waiting around for. JD said he wasn't sure if he was motioning for him to leave or wait. Howard said he was done with him. He asked JD if he had something to talk about. JD said he had some clips for him. Howard asked what he had. JD told him about where the clips were. He had some stuff from the Victoria's Secret special. Howard said that Ralph told him about some funny moments in the special.

  JD told Howard about one clip and said that the girls look hotter than they sound. Howard played a clip of one of the girls talking about how they met each other and she had a bit of an accent. Howard said this is like going to Scores because they all have accents there. Howard said this is a good reminder to let you know what you'd be getting into if you dated one of these women. Howard played some clips and made fun of their accents.

  Howard asked JD about the fantasy bra. JD had a clip of them talking about that. Howard said the bra is something new. The girls were wondering who was going to get to wear it on stage. JD said that some of the girls have been such a big part of it that they made two bras as a thank you to them. Howard said they're like Borat with a vagina. Howard said it's so interesting to him because this Victoria's Secret has been blown into this big thing.

  Howard said that one of the girls, maybe Alessandra Ambrosio, is friends with Heidi Klum and she showed up at AGT. Howard said that some guys are so caught up in that whole thing. Howard said he didn't give a fuck what she had to say but some guys did. Howard said 20 years ago he would have cared. Robin said she remembers Howard with the Snapple girls. Howard said he has come so far since then. Howard said he thinks that Heidi really cares for this girl. He said she's in the paper every day and then the friend shows up. Howard said that she must have given Heidi her publicist. Howard said some days he sees Heidi in the paper and there's no reason for it. He said she loves it though. Howard said Heidi may have given the secret to Mel B too because she's in the paper every day too. Howard said he's going to get to the bottom of all of that.

  Howard played more of the audio of the girls talking about the fantasy bra. Howard said this is the fucking life. He said it's like the Sports Illustrated cover girls. Howard said wearing the Fantasy Bra isn't the same thing though. JD said they make a big deal about wearing the wings too. Howard said maybe they should get some and let JD wear them. Howard said it's so demeaning. He said they make the girls go through so much for this. Howard made fun of the way the girls were talking about how this was ''not even dream come true.'' Howard said they have to be kidding. Howard played little bits of the audio clips and made fun of a lot of what the girls were saying. Howard said that they're making such a big deal out of this fantasy bra.

  JD said they also talk about walking the runway and they make it sound like they're going to war. JD said it's very stressful for them to walk. Howard said that's how JD is with talking. Howard played some of the audio of them talking about how tough walking on stage is. Howard said this is what separates the girls from the women. Howard heard a clip of a guy saying ''20 seconds 'till curtain.'' He said he likes that guy. Howard said at some point you just have to say you're not going to give these girls power. Howard continued to goof on their accents and how they were talking about how tough their jobs were.

  Robin said Ross used to get excited for these shows. Howard said he had to talk to him about that. He said he told him he's too old to be excited about that show. Howard said those chicks aren't going to be fucking him. Howard played more clips and did his impression of them talking about having a walking coach and things. Howard asked if there are no American chicks who can do this job. Howard said they must all be too fat to walk the runway. He said they're from Ukraine where there isn't any food.

  Howard said that he doesn't hear one American. Robin said one girl didn't have an accent. Howard said he saw Kate Upton and she's heavy. Howard said all of their girls look like Benjy. He told Benjy to put on some wings. Howard said that Benjy wants the golden bra. Robin said that would be funny if he got the fantasy bra.

  Howard said sometimes he looks at Heidi who used to do all of this. He said that he'll ask her this season about that. Howard said he wants to know if she can wear the fantasy bra on their show. JD said she wore the million dollar bra. Howard said now they have a 10 million dollar fantasy bra.

  Howard said that they can't go home and feel good about walking the runway. Howard said they've done it a million times. He played some more clips of the girls talking about how doing things on stage are so important to them. Robin let out a Wow after hearing some of that. Howard said they only have a couple of year window to do that modeling thing. Howard said they have to get it right.

• Howard Takes Calls And Reviews Sons Of Anarchy. 12/10/14. 6:35am
  Howard took a call from a guy who kept saying hello so he quickly hung up on him. Howard tried another call and no one was there. Howard said he was up at 3 in the morning. He said he had to watch the Sons of Anarchy finale. He said he didn't want anyone ruining it for him. He said he got pissed off at himself for doing it because it was so long. He said he was watching the clock and rushing his experience. He said he would have liked to have relaxed. Howard said he could have eaten a cashew or something. Howard said it was a fantastic finale. He congratulated Kurt Sutter and the guys on the show. Howard said he loved it. Howard said he's glad they ended it. He said it was perfect.

  Robin said she has to watch the series. She said she wasn't going to try to catch up on it. She said now she can watch the whole thing. Howard said she may not be macho enough to watch. He said it's a biker thing.

  Howard took a call from Wolfie who asked what the top 5 bands of the 90s are. Howard said he isn't giving it much thought. Howard said David Bowie had a revival in the 90s. He said he put out ''I'm Afraid of Americans'' and put out a whole new sound. Robin said he should only put in bands that were discovered in the 90s. Howard said he's putting together a list that surprises you like Rolling Stone does. Howard said you think it's going to be something and he's switching it up. Robin asked if he's going to put McCartney in there too. Howard said maybe he will.

  Howard said he's going to mention Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots, Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins, Bush and Rob Zombie too. He said that all of them were great. Howard said Green Day too. He said that the band that defined the 90s the most with an original sound was... He cut himself off saying he sure bullshits a lot. Howard said that Nine Inch Nails is the band. He said that they were the definitive band of the 90s. Howard said this is an exclusive for Wolfie. Howard said that if you listen to the work of that band you'll see what he's talking about. Howard said they did great videos and a live stage show. Fred played some Nine Inch Nails ''Hurt'' for them. Howard said this is like a rocket ship taking off. He was singing along with the song and making noise that sounded like Homer Simpson saying ''D'oh'' so Fred played that clip over the song.

  Howard asked if Wolfie was happy with that. Wolfie said Howard was on a roll. Wolfie wanted to ask Robin what she would say is her sexual specialty. Howard said that's enough. Howard said that's an insult. He said everyone knows it's anal. Wolfie asked what guys compliment her about. Robin said that he has to be on the inner sanctum to find out. Howard said that was enough of that and went to break. As they went to break they played a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard spoke to an author about her book and had an Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator on with her.

• Kevin Nealon Visits. 12/10/14. 6:55am
  After the break Howard came right back and said he loves Kevin Nealon. He said he has a million things to talk to him about. Kevin came in and said that they put headphones on him like he's being crowned. He said he won't even shake Howard's hand because he's not sure where he is with that. Howard said you don't touch him. He said he's like royalty.

  Howard asked Kevin about doing the commercials with Dana Carvey as Hanz and Franz. Kevin said he and Dana created those characters together. Howard said it seems like it's ad-libbed a lot. Kevin said they were. He said they made them laugh so much when they'd do them. He said they're so pathetic but they think they're better than everyone. He said he and Dana would roll over laughing over them. He said because of that they were successful. Howard said if he was a rock star he'd say that's their hit song. Howard asked if they think they have to keep it pure. Kevin said no. He said they actually wrote a movie for them and that didn't happen. Kevin said the script was great and they wrote it with Conan O'Brien and Robert Smigel. He said they started out in black and white and they rode out to California to meet with their cousin Arnold Schwarzenegger. He said hew as going to be in the movie and he was co-producing it.

  Howard asked if Arnold was going to do it because he was parodying himself. Kevin said he thinks that he had just done Last Action Hero and he may have wanted to go another direction. He said Arnold backed out of the deal so that kind of killed the whole thing. Howard said there's no doubt that it would have been a success. Kevin said there is no dealing with that guy. He said it's all about physical force.

  Howard asked if it was a big disappointment for him. Kevin said that it was. Howard asked who owns the characters. Kevin said it's Lorne Michaels and Broadway Video. Howard asked how State Farm approached them. Kevin said they wanted to use a bunch of the characters from SNL. He said they wanted to use ''Da Bears'' guys and Rob Schneider doing his copier guy.

  Kevin said the studio looks great. He said they've toned it down a bit. Howard said they have. Kevin said it's been interesting watching Howard's career. He said especially listening to the ''Sternology'' shows. Howard said he cringes hearing those shows. He said if he could he wouldn't play repeats but the fans like it. He said it makes Sirius happy too. Howard said he wishes he could go back and do some of them over again.

  Kevin asked about some of the old interviews he did with people who are no longer with them. Howard said he feels bad about Gilda Radner and Robin Williams. Kevin said he heard him talking about Robin Williams. He asked if he talks about that in therapy a lot. Howard said he has brought it up but not a lot. Howard said he was going to call Robin and then he killed himself two days before he was going to call. He said he never got the chance to call.

  Kevin said he did the sketch with Chris Farley in the Chipendales thing. Howard said that he worked with Jan Hooks too. Kevin said that he was just friends with her. He said that she was dating the writers on the show. Kevin said that they did start dating before SNL. He said it was nice being friends before that. He said then they dated and broke up. He said that was weird. Howard asked if she just realized one day that she was in love with him. Kevin said they had gone out to the Palomino club together and she was into that kind of stuff. He said she found humor in it. He said they had a couple of drinks and they got to that next level. Kevin said that it wasn't an angry break up but it had run its course. He said they had to deal with it at work. Kevin said if they met someone they wouldn't bring them on the set. He said once you meet someone you really like you forget about those rules.

  Howard asked if he broke up with her or was it the other way around. Kevin said he thinks he did break it off. He said he would still be uncomfortable if she brought someone to set. Howard said he's kind of that way. He said he doesn't want to see the other person with someone else. Kevin said you want them to be happy but not in front of you.

  Howard asked if he got to say goodbye to her. Kevin said he didn't see her much after they split. He said they stayed in touch a little bit but he didn't see her before she died. Kevin said that she was only 57. He said she lived in Upstate New York. Howard asked if she went off the grid. Kevin said he spoke to her this year and she seemed kind of excited about this cell phone and laptop she got. He said she didn't have one for a long time. Kevin said she wanted to keep a simple life. He said he'd call her on her birthday and things like that.

  Howard said he knows that Sandler puts him in a lot of movies. Kevin said not all of them. He said he read the script for one of them and he had to draw the line. He said he had a kid ejaculating on his grandmother in a scene. Kevin said that he thought that was kind of crass. Howard said that Sandler is always fucking with him too. Kevin said he loves Sandler. He said he likes to see what parts he's going to put him in. He said he played one part where he had tits on his head. He said that it took like 25 minutes to put one on but then 3 hours to put both on. Kevin said everyone wanted to feel them too. He said it was mostly women who wanted to feel them. He said that he'd have to tell them that his eyes were ''down here.'' He said it was like he was invisible.

  Howard asked Kevin about leaving SNL and if it's like a big family. Kevin said it really is. He said that he did his first show with Sigourney Weaver. He said that she got to leave and have a career. He said he was stuck there.

  Howard wanted to get back to Hanz and Franz. Kevin cut him off and said he think that Howard and Robin are like family to him. He said that he knows so much about Howard's penis and his parents and all of that. He said people feel at home in there when they come in.

  Howard asked Kevin about Hanz and Franz and State Farm using them in a commercial. Kevin said 20 years ago Lorne wouldn't have allowed it. Howard said it's been 20 years since they were on. Kevin said it might be even more than that. Howard said he's pretty good at math so he'll figure that out. Howard did his long math and gave up after a short time.

  Howard said it must be great being back with Dana Carvey doing those characters. Howard said that Dana is such a funny guy and he would love to have him come in there. Gary said he passed on them when they asked him to come in. Kevin said they have to get physical to get him in there.

  Howard said he thinks the most interesting aspect of Kevin's career is that he was a Santa Claus in a store when he was younger. Kevin said he had just moved to San Diego. Howard said he thought only perverts took those jobs. Howard said that you have little kids siting on your lap so it's a weird job. Kevin said it is something else. He said there are guys who grow the beards out. Howard asked if it's a bad job. Kevin said he was 23 or 24 at the time and he looked like a kid. He said he had just moved out there from Connecticut. He said they worked for a temp agency and they were everything from cleaning warehouses to pulling weeds from a parking lot. Kevin said they got a job working as Santa for 2 months. He said he worked in Sears in San Diego for 2 months. Howard said you sit there in a suit filled with some stuffing. He said he was still skinny though. Kevin said it was to make money taking pictures. He said a lot of kids from Tijuana would come over. He said they were poor and dirty and they'd be sitting on your lap. He said they were scared and they'd pee on your lap. He said they would Scotch guard the suits because they knew that would happen. He said the pee would bead up and roll off. Howard said that's huge. He had no idea.

  Howard said that Kevin was also a guy who delivered cars to celebrities. Kevin said he and a friend got the temp job doing that. He said they were like $200,000 cars. He said they were out drinking the night before and they'd have to show up to bring a Mercedes to Barbra Streissand's house. He said that they delivered to Mel Brooks too. Howard asked if he prepared material just in case he ran into them. Kevin said he just wanted to see them. He said you'd see their kids or assistants but never the celebrity. Kevin said you'd work for these companies and then get offered a full time job. Kevin said he worked at a muffler shop where he had to clean up the watch dog crap. He said it was all old and moldy.

  Howard said that Kevin is at Caroline's from Thursday to Sunday this week. Howard said that's a great club to play. Howard said he is really good at stand up. He said you can go to KevinNealon.com for more information. He said he has a series online called Laugh Lessons with Kevin Nealon. He said that's on AOL. Howard said that he came up with the idea about 4 years ago when Garry Shandling came over and was hitting his kid in the head with a pillow. He said they thought it would make a good show so that's what they're doing. He said they teach kids how to be sarcastic with Chelsea Handler and they do other things like that with comedians. Howard asked if he ever tells a kid they don't have it and get the fuck out of here? Kevin said you can weed them out. Howard said that sounds like a crazy show. Kevin said you can go to AOL.com and type in Laugh Lessons and you'll find it.

  Howard asked if it's true that he will be on NBC with a show. Kevin said he wrote a show with his wife. He said they got the writing deal because of Howard. Kevin said he must hear that a lot. Howard said he never has. Robin said they hear that a lot actually. Howard said he was kidding. Kevin told Howard that he was on there last time and the head of 20th Century Fox, Johnny Davis, heard the show and he invited him and his wife in to come up with something. Howard said that makes him so fucking happy. Howard said he was thinking about Belzer and how he got a job because of the show. Howard said he's like a power broker. Howard said Belzer got his job as Detective Munch because Barry Levinson heard him on the show.

  Howard asked Kevin where he's from. Kevin told him to guess. Howard thought about it for a short time and guessed Indiana. Kevin said that's wrong and he's originally from Bridgeport, Connecticut.

  Howard asked if he's got the show on NBC already. Kevin said they just have the deal to write something. He said he and his wife are writing it now. He said they both came in and met with the guy and they were told to just go write it. He said they still have to sell it to a network. Kevin said this was the third year of doing this. Robin asked if they sold it. Kevin said NBC does want to do it. He said if they like the script they'll make the pilot. He said it's such a long shot to get a show made. Howard said he's amazed that anyone makes money in that business. He said chances are slim that it will get picked up. Kevin said that you don't even own the show you created. He said you're just a soldier.

  Howard said he remembers Seinfeld getting the Seinfeld Chronicles on the show. He said that was really tough for him to get done. He said it's such a struggle.

  Howard asked Kevin about the show Weeds. Kevin said that he wishes Howard had seen that. Howard said he's going to watch the show in bulk. He said that he is into Sons of Anarchy and also The Affair. He said he's got a lot of things to watch but he will catch up on Weeds. Howard said there's some great TV going on right now. Kevin agreed.

  Howard said Kevin likes stand up because he sits and writes his jokes and he gets on stage and delivers it. He doesn't have to wait to be approved. Robin asked if he does a lot of stand up. Kevin said he does. He said when he was in his 30s he didn't want to be doing it in his 40s. He said he was in his 40s saying the same thing.

  Kevin said he ran into Bob Newhart in the airport and he's like 80 something years old. He said he was wearing a baseball cap. He said maybe it wasn't even him. He said that he hosted SNL once when he was there. Kevin said he spoke to Bob who told him he's been doing stand up for 52 years. Kevin said there is something he loves about doing it. He said the acting came secondary. Howard said you always want that one role where you don't have to work again. Kevin said you do want that income stream at that age.

  Howard said he thought he had died and gone to heaven when he went to New York and thought he would never have to move again. He said that was his goal. He said he beat the odds. He said he only had to move like 10 times when others have to move 500. Howard said he has so many friends who have to constantly move. He said it's the saddest life.

  Howard said there are shows about radio guys and they didn't make them sad enough. He said it's a tragedy for most. Howard said that he wants everyone to go see Kevin at Caroline's this Thursday through Sunday. Howard said he doesn't want to go into another business like selling vending machines.

  Kevin said Robin looks great. He said Howard is so lucky to have her. Howard said she is a shining light. Howard said he's going to play her music and told Kevin to just stare at her when it plays. Howard did that and then gave Kevin some more plugs for his web site and his comedy gigs and AOL show. Kevin asked Howard to check out his web site and let him know what he thinks about it. Howard said he will do that.

  Howard asked Kevin if he has any pictures of him in a Santa suit. Kevin said he had one that he can't find of him with a snake around his neck as Santa. He said he'll try to get that up on his site. Howard said Barbara Walters is coming in next. Kevin asked if she would have done the show 10 years ago. Robin said she thinks it's about 10 years. Kevin asked if she would have done it 11 years ago. Howard said he knows what his next question is. He said it's been 12 years. They wrapped up and went to break after that. As they went to break they played a Crank Yankers call that Kevin made to a woman who was selling her car and he just kept saying ''Mmm hmm'' over and over.

• Barbara Walters Visits. 12/10/14. 7:45am
  After the break they played Ben Stern's ''Proper Modulation'' song and a clip from a radio show where they read a birthday wish to 100 year old Ronnie Mund. They also played Crackhead Bob singing ''You're Beautiful'' and then AC/DC's ''For Those About To Rock (We Salute You)'' as they were coming back. Fred threw in some of Gary's trumpet playing over that song.

  Howard came back and said that he has Barbara Walters there. He said he always gets excited when she's there. Howard said he doesn't think a lot of younger people understand how huge her career is. Robin said she looks so jazzy in her leather leggings. Howard said she looks good.

  Howard asked Barbara if she was at Joan Rivers' funeral. Robin said she was. Howard asked if she was close to Joan. Barbara said she was close. She said they used to have dinner together. She said it was every few months when they could. She said that she looked forward to it more than any man.

  Howard said Joan was fascinating. Howard said he finds Barbara fascinating too. Howard said people don't realize just how trail blazing she was. Howard said he does and his generation does. Howard said there were no women doing this stuff when she started. Barbara said she started on the Today show as a writer. She was supposed to be on the air for 13 weeks and stayed on for 13 years. Howard said that's wild. He said back then people congregated around the TV.

  Barbara said back then the women were called ''girls.'' She said she was behind the scenes and she didn't pronounce her Rs correctly. Barbara said that they don't call them girls anymore. Howard asked how she got that gig. Barbara said that it was the summer that nominated Lyndon Johnson and they had an actress as the host of Today. She said that she couldn't cope with the politics. He said it was an embarrassment to them so they let her go. Barbara said they had to pay off her contract but they didn't have to pay her. She said she was so lucky. Howard asked if her friends and family were shocked. He said that she was just a writer and then she was on TV. Barbara said she doesn't think they were shocked. She said that the legacy of what she had done is that other women started doing it too. She said that it happened all over the country. Howard said after the Today show it goes on and on and on. He said that no one had seen a female co-anchor. He said that could have been a disaster if it didn't work. Howard said she went on to do 20/20 and these interview specials. Then she did The View. Howard said she's had some career. Barbara said he's making it sound like she's just passed away. Howard said he could do that eulogy for her now.

  Howard said he's always blown away by longevity. He said there are those few who can keep it going and Barbara has done that. Barbara said they're talking about Howard too. Howard asked how long she's been doing this. Barbara said she's been doing The View since it started. Howard said that was her creation. Barbara said ABC came to her asking if she had an idea for a daytime show. She said she did have an idea to have women of different generations just talking. Barbara said that today it's done all the time. She said back then it wasn't done. She said they just stuck these women on the air and had them talk. Howard said it makes sense that women responded so well to it. He said he used to hear his mom sitting around talking to one another.

  Howard said The View has changed and they have women from a similar generation talking. Barbara said that it was supposed to be information and humor. She said there are some men watching but there are a lot of women and kids watching. She said she thinks that with Whoopi and Rosie on the show that it's going to work.

  Howard asked Barbara about why she retired. Barbara said it seemed to her that it was time to go. She said she didn't want them saying ''Oh, she's still here?'' Howard asked if she regrets leaving. Barbara said she does but not every day. She said that she's going to do another 10 Most Fascinating People and this will be her last one. She said that's going to be strange for her. Howard asked if it's a lot of work to do that. Barbara said it is. She said she doesn't do all of the interviews but it's about 8. She said they're very difficult to get because they're stars in their own right.

  Howard said Barbara says that the biggest interview she got was with Monica Lewinsky. She said that's still the one. She said just about everyone watched that. She said that her friends told her that they didn't care about her but everyone was watching. Barbara said that he wants to interview her again but she has nothing to talk about right now. She said they are still in touch. Howard said he thinks that she hasn't been able to move on and have a life. Barbara said she hasn't been allowed to. Barbara said there are other people like Linda Tripp who have been able to move on. Barbara said that Monica wasn't allowed to. She said she likes Monica a lot. She said she's very intelligent. Barbara said she remembers being young and liking celebrities. She said that Monica just hasn't been able to move on.

  Howard said we're such a prudish nation. He said that's why they won't let her move on. Howard asked why the man isn't held responsible. Howard said that they blame the woman. Barbara said it's still held against her today.

  Howard said that Barbara said that Nixon was the sexiest president. He asked if she was joking. Barbara said she wasn't joking at the time. She said he was relatively attractive. She said that she doesn't want to go down in history as being known for that. Howard asked if she would have had sex with him. Barbara said maybe back then because she was so ambitious to do interviews.

  Howard said he remembers her interviewing the Shah of Iran. Howard said she asked him if he thought that women were as smart as men and he said ''not yet.'' Howard said that he was so smug about that. Barbara said she asked his wife what she thought about that. Barbara said that she asked if women ever accomplished anything. She said that he said ''Now and then'' and she remembers that vividly. Howard said the views over there haven't changed at all over there. Barbara said that the Shah did some good things over there but Howard's right about things not changing that much over there.

  Howard said Barbara is doing a special for the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2014. Howard said Scarlett Johansson was on the special and she showed off her legs in it. Howard said he thinks that's key to getting guys to watch. Barbara said she thinks that her hair was more important. Howard said that the way you dress can affect things in a big way. Barbara said Rosie and Whoopi are very casual on The View and women tune in to see how other women are dressing. Howard said they want to be accepted.

  Barbara told Howard she got all dressed up for him. Howard said he was shocked that she'd be wearing leather pants. Howard said he thinks she's coming on to him today. Barbara said she's doing it because women look at how other women dress. Howard asked if she's being appropriate wearing a g-string. Barbara told him he's being a dirty old man.

  Howard said Neil Patrick Harris is on the 10 Most Fascinating show. Barbara said he is and he's very talented. Howard agreed. Barbara said that he is married and he and his partner have twin girls. Barbara said Neil is like Hugh Jackman and there's nothing he can't do. She said he's an enormous talent.

  Howard said that she has David Koch on the special too. Howard asked if she's sick of interviewing celebrities. Barbara said she never gets sick of interviewing Opah. She said that she and Oprah have said to each other that they have to learn to enjoy life more. She said they're so busy living their lives. Howard said he thinks Barbara loves her career but Oprah was miserable doing her show. Barbara said that what Oprah wants to do is inspire the world. She said it's not enough to have done it on her program. Howard asked what drives that woman. Howard said she has a billion dollars. Barbara said she wants to help change people's lives. She said she wants to change people's lives for the better. Howard said she's become a religion almost. Barbara said it might be a philosophy and not a religion. Howard said he can't get a handle on what she's doing there. Barbara said that he should have gone. Howard said they wouldn't let him in.

  Howard asked Barbara if she has gotten a Kennedy Center Honor. Barbara said she has not and she was told they don't do TV people but that's not true. She said she's fine with that though. Howard said he thinks that she deserves it.

  Howard asked Barbara why she didn't let her life story be made into a movie. Barbara said that she had a sister who was developmentally disabled and she was called retarded when she was growing up. She said that she was slightly retarded and it was just enough to ruin her life. She said she didn't want that part of her life portrayed. She said that was one of the saddest things in her life. She said she wishes that she was more patient with her. Howard asked if that's why she didn't have a whole posse of kids. Barbara said that's not it. She said that she wasn't able to conceive. She said that's why she adopted. Howard said he knows some people who were in that situation and they felt it was very difficult having to help raise their sibling. Barbara said that she named her baby after her sister and that wasn't always done. She said she told her Jackie that she was thinking about adopting another child and she said that by the time she was her age that she'd be dead.

  Howard said it must be hard to have a mother like Barbara. He said it has to be tough. Barbara said it is. She said she's been told it is because people hear who her mother is and they want to meet her.

  Howard asked Barbara about the speech impediment and if it hurt when people made fun of her. She said it did hurt when Gilda Radner did her impression. She said that her daughter asked her where her sense of humor was. Barbara said she doesn't like it today when people still do it to her. Howard said she had to go through so much to get where she was and it has to hurt. Barbara told Howard not to say it to her.

  Howard got back to Neil Patrick Harris and how he is a gay man who is married with kids and he can be on TV playing a straight man who is a womanizer and then he does a Broadway play in Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Howard said it's amazing that he can have a career like that and do it all. Howard said it's still dangerous to come out as a gay man in Hollywood though. Barbara said it is if you want to be a leading man. Robin said he did play a leading man in Gone Girl. She said he was a creepy man but a leading man too.

  Howard asked what David Koch did that made him so fascinating. Barbara said that he's the 6th most richest man in the world. She said that he is very generous. She said that he has places named after him. She said that most liberals feel that he has backed such conservative candidates that they dislike him. Barbara said that he isn't a backer of the Tea Party like people think he is. Howard asked how she got him to do an interview. Barbara said she's friends with him and she think that he trusted her to do the interview. She said that he's very conservative fiscally but he's also liberal in other ways. She said he is pro choice and things like that. Howard asked if he's feuding with is brothers. Barbara said that they get into that a little bit in the interview.

  Howard said he thinks that it must be tough to edit down an interview like that. Barbara said she loves editing and she thinks that she's the best at it. She said they made the show 2 hours and she liked it better with 90 minutes.

  Barbara said that she's not sure how much longer she'll be with ABC news. She said that she doesn't want to work until she dies. Howard said that she is doing that. She said she is now but she's not sure what she'll do later. Robin asked what she's going to do with her free time. Barbara said that she'll have lunch and then dinner.

  Howard asked if she's dating. Barbara said no. Howard asked why. She said the men would have to be 80 or 90 and that's too old. She said she draws the line. Howard asked if she would want a companion to go to a movie with or something. Howard said maybe they can make out and feel each other up. Howard said that she can look at it that way. Barbara said she doesn't want to look at it that way. Howard asked if she's lonely. She said she's not. She has friends and she doesn't think about being all alone. She said she's been alone so long.

  Howard asked about interviewing Taylor Swift for the special. Barbara said that she's a huge star. She said that she's not squeaky clean. She said that she invites her fans into her house. Robin said that amazed her. Howard said he wouldn't let himself in. Howard said he got kicked out of her house. Howard asked if she went to her home. Barbara said she didn't. Robin said she has too many people there already.

  Barbara said she likes that Taylor likes to be a role model. She said she's a nice young woman who is stunned at the enormity of the career she's having. She said that she's able to go from country to pop and that's amazing. Howard said he'd like to see her sit down with her.

  Howard asked who the number one most fascinating person is. Barbara said it's a secret. She said that he will never guess. Howard asked if she's going to pull the old switcheroo and have someone who did something wrong instead of something right. Barbara said that he will be surprised. She said that she's not happy about the show being 2 hours long but it's going to be good.

  Howard asked Barbara if she had sex with Fidel Castro. Barbara said she did not and she will answer no to any question he asks about him.

  Howard said that Barbara interviewed Christopher Reeve after his horse accident. Howard said she had no idea what she was getting into. Barbara said that what she learned from him was that he thought that he'd walk again. She said that he just said that you play the cards you're dealt and that's what he was doing. She said that he directed and acted in a movie after the accident. Howard said he wasn't bitter. Howard asked if Barbara could have lived her life like that. Barbara said no. She said that she talks about Chris and Catherine Hepburn because she saw things in black and white. She said that Catherine pitied her for not seeing things that way. Howard said that she asked Catherine if she was a tree, what tree would she be and people goofed on her about that. Barbara said she said she would have been a big, white Oak that grew into the walls of a house. Howard said that was a good question.

  Howard said this special is coming up and she has great people like those he's already talked about and Chelsea Handler too. Howard said he really likes her. Howard asked if she had come to her and asked what to do about her show she would have told her what? Barbara said she's an old school kind of person so she would have told her to stay with the network. She said that maybe they weren't going to give her the time slot that she wanted.

  Howard asked Barbara if she has people asking her for advice. Barbara said she gets that a bit. She said that her door is open all the time.

  Howard asked Barbara if she has any advice for Bill Cosby. Barbara said she wishes he'd do an interview but he won't. Howard said it would be great to get that interview. Barbara said if she was his lawyer she would tell him to keep quiet. She said that she loved Bill Cosby and she thinks that he did things to make people see that black people weren't one dimensional. She said now there isn't a show on that doesn't have at least one black person on it. Howard asked if she has ever been with Bill Cosby and had a drink. Barbara said that she has never passed out during a meeting or anything like that.

  Howard said that Michael Strahan is also on this special. Barbara said he's a happy man. Howard asked if she talks to him about his personal life and how disastrous it is. She said she doesn't word it that way but she does talk to him about some things in his personal life. She said that he talks about his marriages and divorces and his kids. Howard said that he was going to marry Eddie Murphy's ex-wife and they just broke up. She said that he can also hide that gap in his teeth but he chooses not to do that. She said that she can understand why he's as successful as he is.

  Robin said Elon Musk is also on the special. She said he's a fascinating man. Barbara said they were trying not to just do celebrities. Howard said this guy must be half lunatic. Howard said he's taking all of his money and putting it into rocket ships and stuff. Howard asked if he is going through all of his money. Barbara said he's not but she thinks that there are people who are going to go to Mars who know they will never return.

  Howard took a call from Ralph who said he saw an old interview she did with Lucille Ball like 20 years ago. Barbara said she talked about how tough it was to be married with Desi Arnez. Howard said that they remember these things she talked about 20 years ago. Ralph said that she was talking about how all they had was news on TV and it wasn't wholesome stuff like it used to be. Barbara said that she really likes Modern Family. Howard said he doesn't watch that show. He said he's busy with Sons of Anarchy.

  Howard asked if she watches The Affair. Barbara said she doesn't. Howard said it's about people cheating on each other. Barbara said she'll watch that if Howard watches Modern Family. Howard said she's making it sound like she has a piece of that. Barbara said she wishes she did.

  Howard said Barbara was friends with Joan Rivers. Barbara said that she thinks about Joan and how she died and she thinks we should all thank goodness for every healthy day. Howard said Joan was very good to him. He said he was so honored to be able to speak at her funeral. Howard asked if she knew she had a dry vagina. Barbara said Howard gets up at this funeral and starts off his eulogy with that. She said that was his first line. Barbara said they all screamed because it was so Howard and so Joan. She said she's sure Joan was up there laughing her head off. Howard said she has no idea what he has planned for her funeral. Howard said he actually had that cleared with Melissa. Howard said he was afraid of disappointing people there at the funeral. Howard said he met with Melissa and her grandson. He said she told him to do it because it was perfect.

  Howard and Barbara talked about Joan and the tough life she was having in that documentary they did on her. Howard said she was a hard working woman. Robin said that she would be on QVC at 1 in the morning. Barbara said to get up at 1 in the morning to do something in some basement is wild. She said she did that until the day she died. Howard said that Joan told him that she was broke and she never got big money. He said she was worth $150 million. Howard said he had no idea. Barbara said that she had to perform and that's what the documentary showed. Howard said that Barbara is driven too. Barbara said she's not doing anymore of these specials. Robin asked if ABC asked her to do an interview would she do it? Barbara said that if they said the Pope would only do one with her she would do that. She said she has interviewed Obama like 4 times and that's enough of that. She said she doesn't need to do another one.

  Howard said this special airs on Sunday at 9 on ABC. Howard said that they don't know who the most fascinating person of 2014 is yet. Howard said that it could be him. Barbara said that it is not him. Howard said she has blown it. He said he loves her and she's an amazing woman. Howard said it's fascinating to talk to her. Howard said he still has 10 million more questions for her. He told her to come back. She said she would love to. They went to break after that. As they went to break they played a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard spoke to some authors about their book with Crackhead Bob playing Kirk Douglas.

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• Cosby Accuser Clips, Phone Calls And More. 12/10/14. 8:55am
  After the break they played a ''Tard Wars'' commercial parody. They also played a commercial parody for visiting North Korea and a clip of Wendy the Retard running down a list of things she wants for Christmas. They had a clip of Big Foot singing about his sex with his mail man.

  Howard came back and said that was nice. He said they can expect to hear a lot of those type of songs before the holidays start. Howard said that they asked Gary the Conqueror what he wanted for Christmas. Howard played a clip of Gary saying he doesn't believe in Santa an he doesn't care about gifts. He said they asked Crazy Alice what she wants and she rattled off a few things and also went off on Gary the Retard and High Pitch Eric. Howard said maybe she is Angry Alice.

  Howard said there's so much going on with Bill Cosby that he can't keep up with it. Robin said she thinks there are 29 women now. Howard said that if this stuff is true then he could go down as the biggest serial rapist in history. Howard said he has some clips of some women talking about what happened to them. Robin said Janice Dickinson is out there talking a lot about it.

  Howard played a clip of a woman being interviewed about the Cosby thing and saying she can't even look at pictures of Cosby now. She said she had to walk away from TVs and things when he'd come on the screen. They had a couple of women there and they were saying they want his Emmys taken away from him. They also said he should be stripped of his honorary PhD. Howard said maybe that's how he gets the shit for the drinks. Howard said that guy is so proud of that doctor thing. He said that the women have really thought this stuff through.

  Howard said these women are really pissed off. Howard said that Janice Dickinson really goes berserk. He played a clip of her talking about how she can't breathe because of Bill Cosby. She said she hasn't slept in weeks over this. Howard said she's really lit out of a cannon. Howard said she's over the top. Howard played more of her ranting about Cosby on the Nancy Grace show.

  Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he had the opportunity to interview Cosby on a network, would he do it. Howard said yes. The guy just hung up. Howard said he must have satisfied him with that.

  Howard took a call from Pittsburgh Pete who said that Avril Lavigne has a health issue and she's asking her fans for prayers. Howard said he just had her there in the studio with her husband. Howard said this is the first he's hearing of it. Pete said it just came off the wire and he's the first one to give it to him.

  Howard said if you're on Facebook then don't be one of those people who insists on posting animal abuse pictures. He said they want to show that they're animal lovers but he will block people who do that. Howard said that you want to see pictures of people from your past or something like that. He said you don't want to see these fucking nut jobs who post animal abuse pictures. Howard said they showed a picture of rotting fur from some animal. He said he wrote it down. Howard said it was so offensive. Howard said that it was a dead dog rescue. Howard said it was a picture of a rotting corpse and he isn't sure what they're trying to prove. Howard said they're trying to prove something.

  Gary said he thinks that Howard's house must be insane. Gary said that his job is to get everything to Beth when he gets that stuff. Howard said Beth is overwhelmed with that stuff. Gary said he's hit up on every social network about that stuff. Howard said people post it and it's like those ads on TV where they show the animals half dead. Howard said that's what they put on Facebook. He said he has no control over that. Robin said she went to an event last night that does everything it can to end the testing of drugs on animals. Robin said maybe that person is trying to inform him of that. Howard said they can do that but not on Facebook. Gary asked if they're trying to show the world they care. Howard said they expect someone else to do something. He said they're doing nothing, trust him.

  Robin said that she was at this event and they were asking about Beth. Robin said Beth is busy with North Shore and she is doing her part.

  Howard said he was reading about how McDonald's isn't doing so well. He said he would love to see them go bankrupt. Robin said they could finally come to him. Howard said for years they would cancel on any station he went on. Howard said that he had to go to endless sales meetings over that. Howard said they fucked him so bad and targeted him. Howard said that he has a secret smile on his face and he'd love to see them go bankrupt. Howard said he'd also love to see them come to him and ask him to help them out. Howard said he would tell them to take Ronald McDonald and fuck him in his ass. Howard said maybe that will help.

  Howard said they were so vicious to them. Robin said they were one of the worst. Howard said what killed him is that they were against what he was doing on radio. He said he was trying to make people laugh. He said he was R-rated or maybe X-rated. He said the hypocrisy is that they're feeding people shit food with fat and grease and they feel they're better than him. He said all he's doing is making people laugh. He said they sell sodas that are double the size. Robin said she thinks that they were afraid of being associated with him and having scrutiny turned on them. Howard said maybe she's right. Robin said they were a blue chip stock but now no one knows what to think.

  Pete asked Howard about being physically and mentally a mess and not wanting to talk about it. Howard said he is a mess. He said just look at him. Robin asked what's wrong with him. Howard said he looks like a scarecrow. Pete asked if he is impotent at this point. Howard said he still masturbates and he still bangs his wife. Howard said he wakes up with a powerful hard on in the morning. Pete said there are healthy guys who are using strap ons with their girlfriends just to be bigger. He asked if Howard would ever do that. Howard said he would never fuck a woman with a strap on. Howard said he's never had a problem with his penis and he's never taken a Viagra. Howard said maybe if he lost the ability to have an erection he might do something like taking a Viagra. Howard said he's not sure Beth would even miss it. He said he could fuck her with his nose since it's about as big as his penis. Howard said he wouldn't like to take pills but he might do it if he had to. He said he wouldn't use a strap on though.

  Pete asked if Elisa is going to come to the holiday party with Benjy. Howard said he doesn't know. Pete asked if he would let Benjy bring her to co-interview him on December 16th. Howard said he forgot that he was going to allow him to interview him. Howard said it's fine if he wants Elisa with him. Benjy said he will do that then. Howard said he likes looking at her so it's up to him. Benjy said he's up for it if Howard is. Howard told him to do it.

  Robin asked why Benjy jumped at it so quick. Benjy said that someone mentioned it on Twitter last night and they were talking about how fun it would be. Howard said bring it on. He said Benjy looks stunned by the whole thing. Benjy said he's stunned that he's even there. Howard played Benjy's theme song where he's making all kinds of weird noises. They had a hip hop intro for Benjy's interview that he played too.

  Howard said someone did a mash up of Jay Z and David Lee Roth. Howard played that and Robin said she's not feeling it.

  Howard said he doesn't like that people are saying that Jay Z and Beyonce are ''our royalty'' here in this country. Howard said it's embarrassing. Howard said he has nothing against Jay Z but they're not royalty. He said he has a real problem with that. Howard said all of that royalty stuff rubs him the wrong way.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said he loved that Barbara Walters interview. He's also happy that Howard signed on with AGT for another season. Howard said he really had to think that through. He said he's excited about it. He said they're changing the format a little bit and he's looking forward to it. The caller said now Middle America knows how honest he is. Howard said the first year he did it there was a lot of resistance to him. He said that he wondered what the fuck he did to these people who were after him.

  The caller said he knows Howard's primary gig is the radio thing but he's happy he didn't bail out on the TV show. Howard said he was thinking about how good a gig that is. He said that he was wondering why he'd bail out on it. He said he had to stop whining and bitching.

• Robin's News. 12/10/14. 9:20am
  Howard said it was time for Robin's news. They played Robin in with a song parody about her sucking her breasts. Robin started off with a story about Time Magazine naming their person of the year. Robin said they had a lot of people in the running but they went with the Ebola fighters. Robin had some audio of them announcing that on the Today show. Howard said they won't sell any magazines with this stuff. He said they try to come up with something controversial and they do gimmicky things. He said they need to sell magazines and that's what they do.

  Howard took a call from Ralph who said he thought Benjy's interview sucked with Beth and he challenged him to an interview thing. He asked if he can interview him too. Howard said that it's just a bit. He said he can interview him at AGT when he's sitting there bitching. Ralph asked if he's going to enjoy himself this year. Howard said he's going to try. Howard said Ralph gets to see him at his worst. He said he has to see him miserable there. Ralph said he really is miserable. Howard said he bad mouths everything about it. He said he yells about everything and complains about his co-judges and he's glad they never hear it. Ralph said that's the show. Robin said there was one show where they made a mistake and Howard told them it was a mistake. Robin said they had to end the entire broadcast. Howard said the thing he loves is that he's not in charge. Howard said that they were wasting time and money and he usually sits there quietly. He said that they thought they knew what they were doing. He said he sat there half a day and they finally realized they made a mistake. Howard said he could see it wasn't working right away. Robin said they ended up canceling the whole thing.

  Ralph said Howard gets nuts over a refrigerator door not opening properly. Howard said he will walk in a different guy this year. Robin said Howard would come to visit her in the hospital and complain about doing AGT. Howard said that he was complaining about AGT while Robin was dying in the hospital. Howard said he figured that would take her troubles away. Howard said he's going to be a different man this year.

  Robin told Howard that Drake and P. Diddy were in a fight and the reason they were in the fight was because of a song. Robin said that Diddy was upset about Drake taking the song because he ended up getting a Grammy nomination. Robin said that Diddy feels like the song was taken from under him. Robin had some of the song that they allegedly fought over. Howard said he'd be livid if someone stole that from him too. Robin said they say that Drake is wearing a sling after that fight.

  Howard took a call from a guy who said the Barbara Walters interview was another hit out of the park. He said he does that every time she comes in. The caller also said that Howard and Robin are the real royalty in this country. Howard said he's right.

  Robin read a story about the reports coming out about the CIA prisons that they are calling black prisons. Robin said they were torturing people in these prisons. Howard said he loves it. Howard said there are times when we use torture. He said he read an article in the paper about this. He said in World War II they used torture and they did that after seeing their fellow soldiers killed. Howard said they said that any German who refused to provide information would blow their brains out. Howard said war is ugly. Robin said it's one thing when you're in combat. Robin said a CIA agent in prison is different. Howard said it's the same thing. Howard said if you look at what's happening with our citizens being beheaded by ISIS you realize we live in a horrible world. Howard said if they're doing that then we're playing in a world where these guys aren't fucking around. Howard said they're a real enemy who really want to kill you. Howard said of course torture is acceptable. Howard asked if she's ever seen Sons of Anarchy. He said they get more intel from that. Howard said if you think there is a building about to be hit and they know they have 3 guys who were in on the planning... Robin said she might water board them. Robin said she wouldn't do rectal feeding. Howard said he would do whatever it takes to get that information. Robin said that she's not sure exactly what rectal feeding is but she thinks they shove food up their ass and don't let you evacuate. Howard said that he wants to know if someone is going to blow something up. Robin said this is how you end up with a holocaust. Howard went into a live commercial read after that. Then they took a quick break.

  After the break Robin had some audio of someone talking about the CIA torture stuff and talking about what a dark day it is for them. He was also claiming that Congress knew what they were doing the whole time.

  Robin asked Howard when women should stop flying on a plane when they're pregnant. Howard said he thinks that it's after the first trimester. Howard said maybe 5 months at the most. Howard said that the first 3 months is barely a person in there anyway. Howard said if you're concerned then don't fly. Howard said after 5 months there is a person in there and it's enough. Howard said if you have complications then the whole plane has to land. Howard said some women go up in their 7th or 8th month. Robin said a woman had a baby on a Southwest plane yesterday. Robin said the plane left for Phoenix and the woman went into labor. Robin said there was a doctor and a nurse on board so they were able to help. Robin said if you're close to your due date then don't fly. Howard said he thinks anyone born on a plane is strange. Howard said Fred was born on a plane.

  Robin read about the plane that crashed into a home recently. Robin said they say that it didn't experience engine trouble or a fire. She said that it killed a woman and two children in the home it crashed into.

  Howard read through some email and someone said that Benjy is gay. Howard said the guy says that he's a soft man. Howard said he got some feedback about Billy Corgan and Smashing Pumpkins. Howard said he loves this email which was a heartfelt plea to see Robin's tits. Howard said a lot of people loved hearing form Joan Rivers' spirit yesterday. Howard said they asked to keep having her on the show. Howard said he could read so many of them. Howard said he had someone say no more King of all Blacks too.

  Robin read about how Lebron James is getting a lashing in the British media after he put his arm around Duchess Kate in a photo op. Robin had some audio of Lebron talking about taking that photo. Howard said the guy is a simple guy and he'd do the same thing if he was asked to take a picture. Robin said that's what Michelle Obama did with the Queen. Howard said good, she should have sneezed on her. Howard said if you don't want to be touched then don't come to this country.

  Robin read about it being bear and deer hunting season. Robin said she read about a deer hunter who shot a jogger in Cape Cod. Howard said these guys are just assholes out drinking. They're not professionals. Robin said this jogger had pellet wounds on him and the hunter is expected to face charges.

  Robin read about a man who was sentenced to 30 days of community service for climbing the Brooklyn Bridge. Howard said that's not tough enough. He said that this costs the taxpayers a lot of money. He said that he doesn't like shenanigans. Howard said he's not up for that at all.

  Robin read about the Carolina Panthers Cam Newton being in the hospital after a car accident. Robin had audio of someone talking about his injuries. Robin said he won't be playing this week.

  Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who asked if he would fuck Barbara Walters. Howard asked if he can go back in a time machine. Howard said she's close to his mother's age now so his answer is no. Tommy said she's an icon so he'd have to do it. Howard said he'll do it then. Tommy asked if he knew she had sex with Ed Brook. Howard said he thought she fucked Richard Pryor too. Tommy said he thinks he asked her about that last time and she said she didn't.

  Robin said that Bill Cosby will be in South Park's Christmas Special. Robin had some audio of a promo for the special. Robin said that Bill Cosby is in that. Howard said he knows people love South Park but he has no idea what they're talking about in those clips. Howard did a live commercial read after that.

  Robin read a story about a couple who gave a package thief a surprise. Robin said they had some things stolen from them so they put dog poop in a box and caught him on video surveillance. Robin said his face is all over the news now. Howard said he had a friend who had his lunch stolen in school all the time. Howard said they took Ex-lax and wrapped it in tin foil. He said the kid stole the lunch, ate the Ex-Lax and ended up running to the bathroom. He said he loves shit like that.

  Howard said Mariann from Brooklyn wanted to let Robin know that she dropped off books for her. Robin said she will get a check to her. Mariann was on the phone and said that she didn't have to do that. Howard said that Beth told him that she was shocked at how good looking a woman Mariann is. Howard said Mariann refused to hug her because she thought she was too much of a mess. Mariann said she was from getting out there in the rain. Howard let Mariann go while she was in the middle of saying something about AGT. Howard said he only hears about half of what she says.

  Robin read about the Oscar Pistorius case going to the supreme court in South Africa.

  Robin read about some coats that turn into sleeping bags being handed out to some homeless people. Howard said they should make them so they turn into a house. Robin said that's what she was thinking. Robin had some audio of a homeless man talking about how thankful he is for that.

  Robin said that Bruce Springsteen is going to make a cameo in the Netflix series ''Lilyhammer'' with Steve Van Zandt. Robin had some audio of Steve talking about that on the Tonight Show. Robin had him talking about how he was hired to be on The Sopranos too.

  Robin read about Sir Christopher Lee, who used to play Dracula in the 1950s, and how he's 92 now and he's been doing hard rocking Christmas songs. Robin had some audio of the first track he released in 2010. Howard played that and said he's pretty good. Howard wondered who put him up to that. Robin had a couple of other clips of him singing but Howard didn't like them all.

  Robin said the woman who killed Selena may get an early release over health issues. Robin said that the woman is reportedly suffering from kidney failure. Howard asked why they give early release for that. Robin had some audio of Selena for Howard to play. Robin said that she was murdered in 1995 at the age of 23.

  Robin read about how Beyonce is the top entertainer of 2014 on Facebook. Robin said they say that she was the most mentioned celebrity on the site this year. Robin had some of the other top 10 entertainers who were on the list.

  Robin read a story about the guy who is going to replace Craig Ferguson and he thinks that it will be like working in theater. Robin had some audio of the guy, James Corden, talking about that. Robin said Craig Ferguson will be ending his run later this month.

  Robin said that Ann Wilson is up for fronting Led Zeppelin. Robin had some audio of her singing ''Stairway to Heaven.'' Howard said he thinks that would be good. Howard said she's really good and they like Zeppelin. Robin said she sang that at the 2012 Kennedy Center Honors. Robin said that Ann says that she would be more than willing to step in if she wasn't busy with Heart. Howard said the only person who can really do it is Robert Plant or it's worthless. Howard said they want to see Plant singing those songs. Howard said it has to be the original for him.

  Robin read a story about Bob Dylan wanting to do an album of standards. Robin said they are all Sinatra songs. Robin had an example of one of the songs. Howard laughed as he listened. He said that guy is off his fucking rocker. Howard said the song should be retired. He said it was bad when Sinatra did it and it's bad with bob doing it. Robin ended her news and Howard ended the show around 10:20am.

• Wrap Up Show - Barbara Walters. 12/10/14. 10:20am
  Jon Hein started the show going over what they were going to cover today. Jon mentioned Benjy changing up the interview with Howard by having Elisa with him. Jon said he wants to hear from the audience about that. Jon said that Benjy thinks it will be better.

  Jon said he wanted to start off talking about Barbara Walters. He went over some of her history and how her thing was the interviews she did for ABC. She said that she got a lot of people to talk about things they wouldn't normally admit to. Jon said that Barbara wasn't a fan of the Gilda Radner impression of her. Gary said he's surprised that she's still upset about it to this day. Gary said it's just a term of endearment today. He said early on it was making fun of her. Jon said that maybe it just sticks with her. Jon asked Gary if he gets upset about the way people make fun of him about the way he used to talk. Gary said he has made mistakes and people make fun of him about things. Gary said that Barbara was a star and she has lived through all of that and she's still a star.

  Jon said that you can be a one hit wonder or come back after a while. He said Barbara has kept it steady decade after decade. Gary said his son Lucas asked who she is and he had to explain to him that she was the first female anchor and things like that. He said he told him that if she ever interviewed him that he'd cry. That's what she has done with so many people over the years. Jon said she's a pro.

  Gary said that Barbara came in very prepared. He said she had a list of people that she made for the show today. He said she's super into her job still.

  Jon said Barbara wasn't sure if what Howard did at Joan Rivers' funeral was appropriate. Gary said it wasn't appropriate but he was only the first of the truly inappropriate people. Jon said that you could tell that Howard and Barbara really miss Joan. Jon said that it was sad to hear that.

  Gary said that the Barbara Walters and Joan Rivers of the world were part of the establishment of the world. He said you had to earn their respect and Howard did that.

  Jon said that Barbara talked about how her sister fueled her and that was a big part of her life. Gary said that he thinks a lot of people have that. He said that every successful person in the world seems to have that. He said even Howard has his dad. Jon said he thinks that both of his parents keep him going from day to day.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that he loves them. He said that he listens every morning. He asked what's up with Benjy and Elisa. He said that she kicked him to the curb and he's wondering why he continues to hold on. Gary said he talked to Benjy about it during a commercial break. He asked why he's having her do the interview. Gary said this is a way for him to get her back. He said Benjy said that's not true and if he is he's not doing it consciously. Gary said he thinks he is doing it for that reason and maybe it is subconsciously. Jon said he agrees. He said if Benjy wanted to be an interviewer he would do it on his own. He said that it's a nice thing to have her come in but he's not sure he would have done that himself.

  Gary said that if she is his true friend and she knows how he feels about her then she shouldn't see him anymore. Gary said maybe she doesn't want him to move on with his life.

  Jon said that Kevin Nealon was talking about Jan Hooks and what happened with her. He said that whole thing can be tricky to manage. Jon said that a gesture like this shows that he's trying to get her back in some way.

  Gary said he was fascinated with the Kevin Nealon and Jan Hooks thing. Gary said men will decide early on if they want to sleep with a woman. He said it rarely happens that a man can be friends with a woman and then decide that he likes her after 6 years. He said that she also had to decide that he could be more. Jon said they'll talk more about that after a break. They went to break after that.

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• Wrap Up Show - Kevin Nealon. 12/10/14. 10:40am
  After the break Jon said that Kevin Nealon is a really funny man and a great guy. Gary said he's a huge fan of the show too. He said that they were talking about playing in a charity basketball tournament years ago. He said that he was sharing some pictures with him and they were cracking up seeing them.

  Jon said that it's nice to know that they have a fraternity with the ex-SNL guys. Gary said he'd love to get Sandler in there. He said that he's one guy he'd really like to get in there.

  Steve Brandano said he liked Kevin Nealon as the hypnotist and he keeps farting. He said that stuff is the best.

  Jon said he thinks Kevin is great in film and on SNL. He said he does stand up and he's been successful with that. Jon said they were talking about the Jan Hooks thing earlier. He said Kevin was upset that he hadn't seen her in years. He said that she was incredible on SNL as well. He said she was incredibly talented.

  Gary said that he was with his wife for many more years. He said that Kevin and Jan were together for like 8 years as friends and a couple and then he didn't see her for 20 years. Gary said that he doesn't think that when you break up with someone you stay in touch that much.

  Jon took a call from a woman who said that she was friends with her current boyfriend for 5 or 6 years and she never thought of him like a boyfriend type. Then they went on a trip together and they've been together for 9 years now. She said that alcohol was involved. Gary said she must have thought about it before that trip. She said that they were always around each other and she never thought of him like he should be her boyfriend. Gar asked if he was hanging around her like a puppy. She said that she knows that he always wanted to sleep with her. Gary asked if she knew that he wanted to be with her. She said she didn't know. She said she must be oblivious.

  Jon said there are those moments where someone is friends with someone else and they eventually realize that they were there the whole time and that's the person for them. He said that doesn't happen often but it must happen. He said they're like John Hughes movie moments.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that what will happen with Benjy and Elisa is that Howard will let them interview him for a minute and then it'll turn into the Benjy and Elisa saga. Gary said he can't say he's entirely wrong. Jon said he thinks that it might happen like that but Howard may not get anywhere with them. Jon said they will both be in studio so it could happen. Gary said he thinks that Benjy might think he can get through it but Howard can chip away at that wall pretty quickly.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about guys and girls being friends. He said that he thinks girls will just tell you that they want to be friends. He said that they know what they're doing and they're just being smart. He said it may turn into something different later on and what they're doing is building their bench. Jon said if someone is putting you on a bench then you should get off of it and move on to someone else.

  Jon said he remembers a girl he was friends with in school. He said that she would make lists of guys and tell him that he was number 2 on her list. He said nothing ever happened with that. They spent a minute on that and then went to break.

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• Wrap Up Show - Howard, AGT And More. 12/10/14. 10:50am
  After the break the guys came back to a Barbara Walters intro. Jon said that he wanted to talk about Howard's conversation with Ralph about AGT. He said Ralph is there to see Howard in all moods. Jon said that Howard said he's going to try to enjoy AGT this year. Gary asked if he was trying not to in other years. Jon said he doesn't think so. Jon asked if Howard can actually enjoy it. Gary said he thinks that he gets distracted by little things. He said they're not little to Howard but they start to distract him and he can't enjoy the experience. Gary said he's not sure how to get him past that. He said neither is the guy who sees him 3 days a week. Jon said it's easier said than done when you have that type of personality.

  Gary said one part is that Howard will tell you he's the greatest at radio and they should all bow to him. Then he'll have a conversation with Chris Rock and he thinks that it could all go away at any time and he doesn't think he belongs there. Jon said that he is conflicted with that. He said that he keeps working and when something doesn't go well he gets frustrated.

  Gary said he remembers watching Joan Rivers in the documentary about her and she was talking about how she had to have her calendar filled or that meant that people didn't care about her. Gary said that he thinks about her all the time but he's glad that she left them with a full calendar.

  Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard has ever been on the Most Fascinating list before. Jon and Gary didn't think he had. The caller asked if Howard would like to be. Gary said he thinks that Howard would rather be the one person on a list and not on a list of 10.

  Jon took a call from a woman who said that she was thinking back on relationships she had and she was wondering if she had guys hanging out with her who wanted to date her. She said that she feels bad if they were doing that. Jon said that you find guys you like for whatever reason and you keep them around. He said that it's one way to look at by thinking you're building a bench. Gary asked how many of the guys who are on that bench would want to have sex with you. The caller said she was thinking about that and she wonders how many of them wanted to do that. She said that is a very interesting thought process.

  Jon took a call from a woman who said she disagrees with the last caller. She said none of her friends who are male are bench warmers. She said that she's not sure where that comes from. She said that she does get that all the time from guys who say they were always interested in her. She said that they're just friends though. Gary asked if there's any possibility that they could become more. She said no. She said that they're just friends. She said she cherishes those relationships but they're not going to be anything more than friends. Jon asked if it's a pure physical thing for her. She said sure... sometimes. Gary said that guys should avoid the friend zone if they want to date her. She said that she might have a friends bench and a potentials bench. Jon said she's building a whole stadium there.

  Jon took a call from another woman who said that she never had a bench. She said that it is fascinating and she would like to try that at the age of 20 again. She said that there are times when you have the feeling that someone is interested in you. She said that she had a friend who was friends with her forever. She said that they would go to each other with their problems and then he made a move on her and she didn't speak to her for 15 years. He came up to her at a reunion and apologized to her. She said that she told him that she couldn't be friends with him again.

  The caller asked Jon what he will tell his daughters. Jon said he will tell them that they shouldn't be on anyone's bench. He said that they have to be into each other. Jon said that love isn't logical at times. Jon said that he just wants them to be number one on the other person's list and vice versa.

  The caller said she and her husband met and she wasn't interested in him at all but now they've been together for 24 years. She said that sometimes feelings just develop. She said that guys and girls can just be a whole different thing. Gary said that if he was friends with her he might just tell her exactly what he's feeling. He said that would show how cool he can be. The caller asked if there can be friendship there. Gary said it's hard to take sex out of the equation. Jon said guys are just biding their time. He said that guy took his opportunity with her and she stopped talking to her for 15 years.

  Jon took a call from Ralph who said that he feels bad for Howard. He said he's the only one there who isn't having a good time. He said that everyone working there is having a good time but Howard. Ralph said he has a good time there himself and he just feels bad for him. Gary said that he thinks that Howie is always happy and he does a lot of things. Ralph said Howie can't be slowed down. He said Howard gets there and it just starts. He said it's such a cool thing and he still can't enjoy it.

  Jon asked if it's just in his DNA. He said that everyone else is having fun and he can't. Ralph said he doesn't think there's any cure for it. He said you'd think the shrink would help. He said that it could be so much fun for him. He said part of the fun is Howard being miserable though. He said he can be really miserable at times too though.

  Gary asked Ralph if he thinks that they gave Howard the option to tape the show at any time of the day and it was just a block away, would he be happy. Ralph said he would find something to complain about. He said he'll try to get Howard to relax this season. He said he'll yell at him to do that.

  Jon let Ralph go and asked Mike Hambrick to give them his Howard 100 News preview. Mike ran down a few things they had coming up today. He also got in a plug for Leiberman Live at 4:45pm. Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and gave the guys some plugs before ending the show around 11:10am.

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• Wrap Up Show - Chris Rock And JD At The Holiday Party. 12/11/14. 10:30am
  Jon Hein started today's live Wrap Up Show with Gary and JD sitting with him. Jon went over what they replayed this morning. Chris Rock, Smashing Pumpkins, Sharon Osbourne and Julie Chen and Howard talking about going back to AGT were some of the segments.

  Jon said he wanted to talk about Chris Rock. He said he's happy for him having this movie that's getting good reviews. Gary said he saw it on Sunday and the more he thinks about it the more he likes it. He said they shot a lot of the movie up there at Sirius. He said that he ran into a couple of guys who are in it who work up there. He said that they're in a Chris Rock movie that's likely to be a big hit. He said he saw the movie with his son Lucas and there were some crazy sex scenes in it. Gary said that JD should like it since he likes big asses.

  Jon asked Gary if it's strange to watch it with his son. Gary said that in one scene Cedric the Entertainer blew a load on a bed and when the punchline came he heard his son laugh really hard.

  Jon asked JD what his plans are for the Christmas party since Howard was talking about how interested he is in meeting her. JD said he doesn't really have any plans. Gary said he has been in that situation before. He said that he'll just say in the most non insulting way he can that they shouldn't get involved in gossip. He said that this is where he works and maybe don't say the wrong thing. Gary said he knows that there is a softer way of saying that though.

  Jon asked Gary how you have that conversation. Gary said he has had that conversation once or twice. He said for the most part he has trusted the people he has dated. Gary said if Sal wants you to do something stupid just don't get involved.

  JD said his girlfriend loves Karaoke. Gary said that's fine. Jon told him to just worry about Sal and maybe Ronnie. JD said they have hung around them before. He said that she's not going in not knowing them. JD said she knows Steph and they'll have to see how it goes. JD said he'll walk around and mingle at the party. Gary said JD doesn't mingle. JD said he does a little bit. JD said he will go sit somewhere once he goes around the room a bit. Jon said that he won't have a chance to just sit. He said that won't happen with the girlfriend there.

  Jon said that when Howard is here with Beth everyone wants to get their time with Howard. He said JD is going to be the major attraction there. JD said he's not an attraction. Gary said in past years he has blended into the party. He said this time they are very interested in meeting his girlfriend. He said that he's going to want to chat with her for a while. Gary said he thinks there will be a lot of people like that. JD said that he isn't good at ''conversating'' at all so she'll be the one doing the talking.

  Gary asked if she calls him Jamie. JD said it's either one. Then he said she has some nicknames for him. He said he's not going to get into that though. Jon told him to get into it but JD refused.

  Gary asked if he would try going to yoga with her if she asked. JD said no. He said that she wants him to get into hiking and things like that. Gary laughed. JD said there are places around Central Park that are hilly and he complains about that. He said she thinks she's going to get him to go out hiking.

  Jon said he is so happy for JD. Gary said he is too. JD said that Jon is going to have to be a buffer at the party. Jon said no way to that. Jon said he is very happy for JD though. Gary said JD is going to end up doing things that take him out of his comfort zone. JD said that he knows that. He said he has been to a hot pot restaurant where they put a fondue like thing in front of you. He said that it was alright. JD asked if he ate it. JD said he ate what he wanted to eat. Jon said he thinks it's good she's opening his eyes to those things.

  Jon took a call from a guy who had some suggestions for JD and Gary. He said for JD he wondered if they have talked about moving in together yet. JD said no. They don't live in the same town. JD said it's not that far but her career is in another state so he's not sure when that would be available. Gary said that they're talking like she will move but what if JD moves. Jon asked if they have talked about that. JD said not really. He said they do have ''what ifs'' here and there. JD said that she does stay with him when she comes to town. Gary asked how many days a month that is. JD said it's 4-6. He said she'll be there for a while during the holiday break.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said that ''comfortability'' isn't a word. JD said he's not Mr. Thesaurus. He said he's well aware of his skills. The guy told him to go read a book. JD said he's not very ''comfortability'' with this call. Jon said he has to stop him from ''conversating'' with JD.

  Jon took a call from another guy who asked if JD will be joining his girlfriend on stage to help her out if she does Karaoke. JD said he doesn't know. Gary asked if she has a ditty that they'd sing together. JD said no. Jon said he could do something like what Howard and Beth have done. JD said he doesn't know about that.

  Gary said Howard and Beth made people who came to the party do a song together. He said that Mary didn't want to get up in front of people to do that. Gary said he found a song for her and told her not to worry. He said that it was a lottery to sing and theirs was picked third. He said they knew they were just fucking with them. Gary said he thought Mary was going to die from shaking that night. Gary said there were some people who were good. He said Stuttering John was standing there and laughing as he pointed at him. They had to take a break after that.

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• Wrap Up Show - More With JD. 12/11/14. 10:50am
  After the break they came back to an intro with Heidi Klum. Gary asked if JD is fine with Heidi Klum's choice of bikinis for the beach. JD said sure. Jon said that they don't know if she'll be working with Howard again this season but they do know that Howard will be there at AGT. Jon said that Howard must be relieved that he doesn't have to think about that anymore. Gary said he thinks that if they keep it at Radio City and the hours are the same he should be okay. Gary said Howard gets through it. He said last year they didn't have nearly as much travel as they have in the past. Gary said he used to have to fly all over the country. Jon said they seem to go above and beyond when it comes to Howard. Gary said the show didn't suffer from the travel.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said JD seems to be pretty picky. Jon agreed. The caller asked if his girlfriend has done anything with him that he really liked. Jon said he has done things with her that he didn't really want to do. JD said he enjoys just about every moment with her. He said that he can't think of anything. He said it's rare that he says he loves something. He said nothing comes to mind that it was mind blowing. Gary asked Jon what he thinks JD has done that he does feel that way about. Jon said he thinks that when he won the league last year he was very excited. JD said he had been in last place for 3 years in a row. He said he also beat Will. JD said there is nothing that comes to mind that he gets fired up over. JD said he doesn't mind some of the places that they've been to.

  Gary asked JD if he took him to the all star game would he be excited about that. JD said sure, I guess. Jon said he's like that with everything.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said he hates to be negative. He asked if the interviews are going to slow down at all because it's been really interview heavy lately. Gary said they are taking the best guests that they can when they can get them. He said there may be some slowness at times. He said if they have a few big stars in a week he has to take them. The caller said he looks at it like they get other people on the show to read the books and find questions for Howard to ask. Gary said the people who work there read the books but the interns do help. He said that they don't look to produce more or less material. Jon said there is always material. He said the schedule depends on the guests availability. They went to break a short time later.

• Wrap Up Show - Billy Corgan, Sharon Osbourne And Julie Chen. 12/11/14. 11:00am
  After the break Jon said he wanted to talk about Billy Corgan and Smashing Pumpkins. He said he came right out of the gate giving his opinions. He said that some people might think he's delusional but he believes what he's saying. He said he gets what he was saying about competition. He said you're going to think that you're the best at what you do. He said he has to give him credit for being honest about it.

  Gary said he was reading a list the other day and they had the top 100 alternative songs of the 90s. He said it was all Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins and Pearl Jam. Gary said there is no doubt that they dominate the list. He said that Billy was saying that Pearl Jam has been around a long time but he thinks that his own songs were better.

  Jon asked JD if he liked their songs even though there were no air horns in them. JD said he wasn't a huge Smashing Pumpkins fan but he did listen to them. He said that he liked their song ''Zero'' and he digs them. Gary said that their cover of ''Fame'' was great too. He said that he thought it was going to be odd but then he got into it and he though that it was great. Gary said he put his own stamp on it like Howard said he did.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said he's wondering what they think about Billy's comments on Foo Fighters not evolving. Gary said he didn't agree with Billy on that. He said he thinks that the band has evolved just fine. He said he's really been enjoying their Sonic Highways album and show. Gary said maybe it's like wrestling and you just want to cause trouble just because.

  Jon said that Billy and Sharon Osbourne had made up so that was nice to hear. Gary said he had a panic moment when he realized they were going to be on the same day. He said that Jon reminded him the day before she was coming in that Billy had sued her. Gary said he panicked and then looked it up and saw they made up. He said that they had a big hug in the hallway. Gary said Billy told Sharon that he didn't know about that Jay Leno thing.

  Jon said that Julie Chen was there too. JD said he watches Big Brother and he would have had some words for her. He said that the producers are coaching the players in the diary room and he thinks it's just too much.

  Jon said he thinks having The Talk on at 12:30 at night is a great idea. He said he thinks people would love to hear them talking about things they talk about with Howard.

  Jon played a clip of Sharon talking to Howard about the ratings on X-Factor going down after she left the show in England. Gary said that's what he loves about Sharon. He said that she's willing to tell Howard her real feelings about it.

  Jon said that it has to be part of your ego to see a show drop off in the ratings when you leave. Gary said anyone who leaves somewhere wants to think that they were needed and they want you back.

  Jon said Sharon's life is incredible if you think about it. He said that Gary has been there for most of her career swing. Gary said he has known her since about 1986 or 87. He said he didn't even know who she was at the time. Then she came on the show for the first time and they knew they had a friend for life.

  Jon said if someone is going to manage your career Sharon is going to earn it. He said that she will make sure you get the opportunity you deserve.

  Gary said that Howard really was the first one to put Sharon, Ozzy and their kids on the show and explore their lives. He said someone clearly picked up on that and that led to them doing their show. Gary said that show had to have made them some crazy money. Jon said not in the first season but every season after that. He said the show is coming back too. He said he's not sure who is behind that. Gary said Ozzy once told Howard that he felt like he was enslaved to work by Sharon because she shops so much.

  Jon said one other thing they talked about was Robin going to Amsterdam and smoking pot. Jon said Howard wasn't thrilled with Robin over that. JD said that it is kind of weird to smoke with a relative. Gary said he knows a guy who was in Amsterdam with his dad and they smoked weed and the guy's father passed out at the table.

  Jon asked Shuli what he thinks about that. Shuli said he thinks Howard was rough on her. He said that the woman almost died and she should do whatever she wants to do. Gary said he's with him on that. He said she's not smoking every day. It was just once. He said that won't kill you. Jon said it came from a good place even if you don't agree with it. Shuli said that no one though that Robin was going to get cancer and then it just hit her. He said you never know if you're going to walk out in the street and get hit by a bus.

  Jon said Robin has lived her life to the fullest and she's just going over there to smoke once. Gary said Shuli is like Mr. Pot. He said he's the guy who tells you that you should be wearing Hemp pants. Shuli said he's not like that. He said there are things that they have found with marijuana and they have proof that cannabis oil cured a kid's cancer. Gary said he's not sure about that. Shuli said he saw the story.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said they had a lot of great bands on this year but he's wondering if Pink Floyd would ever come in. Gary said that their album they released is an old record. He said it's 95 percent instrumental. He said he's not sure that they're even performing. Gary said if they said they wanted to come on he's in. The caller asked if they would nix having Roger Waters come in because they have problems with each other. Gary said he's all about them coming on the show. He said that he ran into Nick Mason in the hallway there but they're just doing interviews and not performing.

  Jon said a Pink Floyd concert is the one to see. Gary said he hasn't seen any. He said he almost got to see them but he wasn't able to go and he had to cancel.

  JD said he got breaking news from Richard Christy who said he went to Amsterdam and didn't smoke pot. Gary said he probably shoved a tube up his ass and drank beer through it.

  Jon said they had to end the show. He asked Shuli what he had in the Howard 100 News. Shuli ran down a few headlines for stories they had coming up today. He got in a plug for Leiberman Live too. Jon got in a plug for Sternthology and gave the guys some plugs before ending the show. They were done around 11:15am.

• Wrap Up Show - Benjy's Upcoming Interview And Horatio Sanz Visits. 12/12/14. 10:05am
  Jon Hein started today's live Wrap Up Show talking about what they replayed including Barbara Walters, Kevin Nealon, Victoria's Secret clips and more. Jon said that Horatio Sanz is also going to be coming in today.

  Jon said he wanted to start off talking about Benjy. He said he was contacted by Benjy who asked if he and Elisa could come in and practice interviewing someone. Jon said he told him no. He said that he thought that he should save it for the show. Jon said now he sees that Benjy is asking people online to help and do practice interviews. He asked if that's a mistake. Gary said he thinks it is. Gary said that he can do a dry run without getting the audience to interact. Jon said he's with Gary on that.

  Gary said Benjy was asking if he could sit in Howard's spot and have Howard on the couch with Elisa in Robin's booth. He said that he had to deny his request. Jon asked if he's out of his mind. Jon said that there is some sanity in his insanity. He said he did get to interview Beth and now he's getting Howard. He said that he thinks he'll do what he has to for that attention.

  Gary said that he has the same drive that the Wack Pack has. He said he always wants more. Jon said that Sal gets accused of being like the Wack Pack and now Benjy is getting it. Jon said he thinks that Horatio Sanz could help them with that conversation. Horatio came in and Jon asked if he thinks that they could be in the Wack Pack. Horatio said he thinks that's asking too much. He said that Benjy has been doing a lot of extreme things so maybe he's getting it all out now to prepare for Howard's retirement. Gary said he thinks that he's had that gene in him since the day he got there. Gary said he got on the air early on but then Howard became annoyed with him. He said now it's on a case by case basis. He said he doesn't think his craving for the limelight hasn't diminished since he got there. Jon agreed. He said that JD can walk in there non stop and Howard never gets tired of that.

  Horatio said that he likes how Howard is like JD's step dad. Gary said that JD is one of the people who least wants to be in the studio. He said he is okay with it but he doesn't think he hopes to get a half hour when he goes in there. Jon said that it turns to his girlfriend and his family and he doesn't like that.

  Jon told Horatio that Kevin Nealon was in there this week. He said Horatio was on Saturday Night Live and he knows what it's like to work over there. He asked if he felt that brotherhood like Kevin talked about. Horatio said that they do look out for each other there. Horatio said it does feel like they were at war together or something like that. He said that he'll meet someone who worked there that he never met and there is an unwritten comradery.

  Jon said that their schedule was pretty insane there. Horatio said they have to compete with each other and also be friends too. Gary asked who he's in touch with from when he was there. Horatio said he still talks to Fallon and he talks to Kattan who did his Podcast recently. He said Rob Schneider asked him to do some stuff with him too. He said it's really a nice vibe with everyone.

  Gary asked if Horatio can believe that something he was part of is celebrating its 40th anniversary. Horatio said that he was always watching it and he was part of the 25th anniversary show. He said he'll be part of the 40th too. He said he forgets that he was part of it sometimes. It actually is pretty cool.

  Jon said he was proud to hear that they sing his song from SNL in an Acura commercial. Horatio said the great thing about that is that he hears the song 20 times during a football game and he gets sick of his own song. Gary said that's like the plot of the TV show ''About a Boy.'' Horatio said that Julian Casablancas and NBC see most of the money from that song too. He said he doesn't see much about it.

  Jon had JD say hi to Horatio. Horatio said that they're DM buddies on Twitter. Jon asked JD about how he sees his relationship with Howard. JD said that it's like a boss and employee thing. Gary said he does talk to him about a lot of non work related stuff. JD said he knows. Horatio said he thinks that Howard would buy JD a house. Jon said JD would never ask for it. Horatio said he never asks to be on the air either.

  Horatio asked to see a picture of JD's girlfriend. JD asked if he wanted to see it now. Horatio said he did. JD looked for a picture but Jon said they had to take a break so they held off until after the break.

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• Wrap Up Show - A Few Minutes With JD And Horatio Sanz. 12/12/14. 10:20am
  After the break Jon said that JD was going to get a picture of his girlfriend for Horatio. JD said he has it and he will walk over and show him. JD went over and showed him the girlfriend. Horatio said she's really attractive and very cute. Jon asked if that's what he expected to see. Horatio said yes. He said he didn't expect him to go with some skank. Jon said that this is good practice for the holiday party. JD said okay. He said that's fine. JD said she will be the talkative one at the party. He said she can talk to anyone. He said he'll be standing there with a jack and coke in his hand. Jon said JD will be getting ripped. JD said he's not going to do that. He said this is what Jon does to him all the time.

  Jon said that he was just asking him a question. He said he wasn't implying anything. JD said he was implying.

  Jon took a call from a guy who said mentioned football and got JD and Gary talking about that. The caller said he was wondering what JD and Horatio text about. JD said they can't say some of the things. Horatio said he'll say. He said that they talk about Abby Elliott. Jon said that JD had a crush on her that goes way back. Jon asked if he used Horatio to get close to her. Horatio said he tried to get him close. He said that she was seeing someone at the time. JD said he did sort of see her in person. He said he was walking home one day and she was out shooting a show one day. He said he did email her to make sure it was her. JD said he has her email address. JD said he told her she can come on Wrap Up any day. Jon said he sees whose shows it really is.

  Gary asked JD if she would know who he is. JD said they aren't friends but they have emailed a few times. Jon asked if JD is delusional. Jon said he is getting more fame year after year. Horatio said there is always a chance. He said if they're both single maybe something could happen. He said he likes to keep hope out there. He said he likes to think about JD and Abby getting together and having a baby. JD laughed at that. Horatio said she has a sister who is really pretty too.

  Jon got back to Horatio and asked if he has noticed anyone who has changed a lot over the years. Horatio said the show is like going into another family member's house. He said when something goes a little off you get scared. He said that he has noticed the pussification of Sal lately. He said that he's talking about not doing things and then he says he will. Jon said he's talking about the stuff he does with Richard. Horatio said that's it. He said that you hear ''maybe not'' from him these days. He said that they've come to rely on him for those things. Gary said it's like Springsteen saying that he won't play ''Born to Run.'' Horatio said they're things that they all cherish and now he's worried about his sons. He said it's like porn and it's eventually going to come out. He said you don't worry about your kids finding out that you're getting DP'd when you're in porn.

  Jon said that Sal still has stuff out there and he should just be who he is. Horatio said he wants to tell Sal that he doesn't want to go out like that.

  Gary said that Chris Farley hated being the fat dancer in the Chipendales sketch. He asked Horatio if he had any segments like that. Horatio said that he didn't care about being in tights and showing his junk but he didn't want to do any Latino stuff. He said he isn't too critical of the stuff he did on the show.

  Gary asked Horatio if he is surprised that the Debbie Downer sketch would become what it became. Horatio said that they knew that it was going to be great because they couldn't get through it without laughing. He said that is the most joyous moment he's had in his life.

  Steve Brandano asked if it's true that he used to try to make Jimmy Fallon laugh all the time. Horatio said he did. He said he would change lines from dress to on air. He said that he knew there were people there to do perfect scenes but he and Jimmy where there to be fun and loose.

  Jon said that Horatio was there for 8 years and he wondered if it was okay to do that stuff there. Horatio said he was never told to not laugh so they just did it.

  Jon said a lot of people from SNL and UCB have been on the show lately. He said it seems to be their time to shine. Horatio said it used to be Second City that they got people from but it seems like UCB is the place to go to as well.

  Jon said Howard is fascinated with SNL. He asked if everyone there listens or is it just a couple of fans. Horatio said at the time he was on they were still on terrestrial radio. He said Amy Poehler listened and he would listen when he moved to L.A. He said there was a small group that listened but he really started in L.A.

  Jon asked Horatio what he thinks about Robin going to Amsterdam and smoking weed. Horatio said he thinks that weed is the least worrisome drug out there. He said he is still thinking about Robin licking her own tit. He said he was in Vegas when he heard about that and he knew they were going to talk about that for 2 years after she said it.

  Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Horatio heard Tina Fey talking about Paris Hilton being a piece of shit on the show. Jon said he's not sure those were her exact words. Jon asked Horatio if he has experienced people like that. Horatio said the problem with Paris is that she is vapid and she was on her cell phone the whole time. He said she came in the day after the sex tape came out. He said she did Weekend Update the next day. He said that they had their mouths hanging open ask she walked by. He said she was very sweet with him. He said she was sweet and quiet and he thinks that people just think that she's a bitch because she's looking at her phone and thinking about puppies.

  Gary said if you're not engaging people around you then you do think that they're being bitchy. Gary said there are people who have done a lot in their careers and they get scared doing the show. He said Horatio is saying that she wasn't scared at all. Horatio said he thinks that she doesn't have enough going on up there to think about that stuff.

  Jon asked who his favorite host was to work with. Horatio said that Bill Murray was pretty amazing to work with. He said it was amazing to work with him. He said David Spade would ask him if he was happy to be there because he didn't look excited. JD said he gets the same thing. Horatio said that's called natural charisma. Jon said that JD doesn't get excited about too many things. Horatio said he does when he's describing Abby Elliott. They went to break a short time after that.

• Wrap Up Show - More With Horatio Sanz. 12/12/14. 10:45am
  After the break Jon asked what he's up to these days. Horatio said that he's doing the ''Hooray Show'' podcast. He said that it's on EarWolf.com

  Jon took a call from a woman who said she loves the show and loves Horatio. She said she loves when they do the ''more cowbell'' sketch. She asked how he kept from losing his shit when they'd do funny stuff like that. She said that they loved watching the show wondering how they don't lose it. Horatio said that some people hate that and some love it. Horatio said he loved it because it shows they're having fun. He said that Dana Carvey used to tell him that if you were going to do an impression you had to be funny first and then work on the perfection.

  Jon took a call from a guy who asked JD if he would drop everything in his relationship to date Abby Elliott. JD said no. He said that he's still allowed to have a crush on her. He said his girlfriend still has crushes on guys. Jon and Gary asked who. JD said he's not sure. Horatio asked if he knows who Abby is dating. JD said he does. Horatio said that's scary.

  Jon asked who JD's girlfriend has a crush on. JD wasn't able to come up with any names. Jon asked if they have the whole ''hall pass'' thing going on. JD said they haven't gotten there yet. Steve said ''Please don't.'' Horatio asked if she's really okay with the cam girl thing. JD said he'd rather not discuss that at all.

  Gary said he thinks that she's cool with that until they aren't long distance anymore. He said he thinks that she is giving him that until they're closer. Horatio said he thinks that JD will still have a set up in the bathroom that he can go to privately.

  Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they can describe what JD's girlfriend looks like. Jon asked Horatio to do that since he just saw her. The caller said he waned to know if she's a Double F. Horatio said she is very attractive. He said she has brown hair with a medium build and a pretty face. JD said people used to say she looks like Katy Perry.

  Jon asked Horatio about Howard going back to doing AGT. He said they know what that's going to be like around there. Jon said that Howard seems to be getting embraced by more and more people as his career goes on. Horatio said that he's been getting the shock jock thing for about 30 years too long. He said he's getting his due now and he wasn't just having strippers on the show. Horatio said that what he's getting is something he deserved maybe 20 years ago.

  Jon asked if the pussification thing with Sal goes with Richard too. Horatio said that he thinks that Richard's attitude is great about not being gay and going for everything. He said that he has a higher level of thinking. He said Richard is awesome. He said he worries about his drinking but he seems to be happy. Jon said he is a functioning alcoholic. Gary asked if that's okay. Horatio said it's okay for the moment. Gary said that he's a functioning alcoholic and they're alright with that. He asked if they'd be alright with a functioning heroin addict. Jon said he's not sure about that.

  Richard came in so Jon asked if he agrees with the functioning alcoholic thing. Richard said he'd go along with that. Jon asked what he thinks about what Horatio said about Sal. Richard said he does kind of agree with him on that. Jon said that Sal will come around and he raises the bar by tenfold. Jon said that he has to go above and beyond to prove that whole thing.

  Horatio asked if they're going to do the pee thing. Richard said he hopes so but they have to wait to hear back from legal. Jon asked Richard about the Chloroform stunt and if that's more what he wants to do. Richard said that's got to be everyone's dream. Richard said he'd love to get knocked out and have him change his clothes while he's out. He said he thinks it would be cool for him to do that to him.

  Horatio said he was a functioning alcoholic too. He said he lasted about 10 years before he had to stop with that. Jon said Richard is running out of time. Richard said that he's working his life around the whole Dude thing from The Big Lebowski. Gary asked if he knows that's not a real person. Richard said he is real to him. He said he follows the Dudism religion too. He said that he's a Dudist Priest too.

  Jon asked Richard if there is anything he's not up for. Richard said he's not into doing anything with a woman. He said he doesn't want to upset his wife. Gary said that Richard was going to blow Ronnie. Horatio laughed. Jon said that's a good segue there. He asked what Horatio's take on Ronnie is. Horatio said that he and Ronnie ended up in the same cartoon together. He said that he's pretty funny too. Horatio said that he's very entertaining on the show. He said he has missed him lately since he hasn't been on the show much.

  Jon said that Ronnie spends a lot of time with Scott Salem. He said that he's celebrating a birthday today too. Jon asked what he thinks about Scott. Horatio said that he seems like a dark cloud kind of dude. He said he loved that he was bowling on 9/11. Gary said the bowling alley wasn't open so he didn't actually bowl. Gary said that Scott is using a vape pen now. Richard said Scott and Sal are bonding over that lately.

  Jon said that one thing they didn't talk about is the Barbara Walters interview. He said Howard really seems to respect her. Gary said that he really does. He said that they're similar in a lot of ways. Jon said she's talking about retiring and he wonders if she could ever do that and if Howard could ever retire. Jon asked Horatio what he thinks. Horatio said he has a question for Jon. He asked how similar Howard is on and off radio. He asked if he's doing a character on air. Gary said he won't yell at you off air but the work ethic you hear on the air is exactly how he is. He said he has a high expectation. Gary said he never thought that he was doing something while Howard is off doing nothing. He said Howard is always working.

  Horatio said he thinks Howard will always be doing this in some way. He said he may be doing it from his house but he doesn't see him quitting soon. Jon asked JD what he thinks. JD said he thinks he'll want to stop doing mornings some day. He said he may go on to do something on TV or something like that. He said he thinks Howard will want a platform in some venue. Gary said he thinks if Howard goes out he's going out like Johnny Carson. He said he won't continue and diminish.

  Horatio asked if Howard would ever admit that he is diminishing. Gary said he doesn't think he would have to. He said he would just go out and say that he went out on top.

  Jon said that he was just thinking about how JD never gets excited about anything and Richard never gets bothered by anything. He said he has a great attitude. Richard said he and his wife were stuck in a subway last night and they were freaking out. Jon asked if they were freaking out all over the car. Richard said they had no idea what was going on and that's when he gets upset. He said it's little things he tries not to worry about. He said he was pissed about that though.

  Jon said that Richard got upset about a woman bringing her kid with her to a movie theater. Richard said the kid was running up and down the aisle screaming. He said that it was fine during the loud parts but then you'd hear the kid making noise in the quiet parts. Richard said everyone there was dealing with the kid while the parent wasn't worrying.

  JD said that Richard may have had a few drinks that day. Richard said he does like to drink before a movie. He said he went to see Christmas Vacation this weekend and they had a beer thing before that.

  Jon said that Mike Hambrick is there so he got to him and had him give them a rundown of what they had coming up today on Howard 100 News. Mike ran down a few things and mentioned that JD is going to be helping his girlfriend pick out a dress for the Holiday party. Jon said he's not sure that JD knows how to do that. JD said he knows what looks good. Mike laughed and said they'll find out. He also got in a plug for Leiberman Live. Jon got in a plug for today's Sternthology and gave the guys some plugs before ending the show. They were done around 11:10am.