|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show talking about a listener who wrote him and asked what Bruce Springsteen song is the best he wrote. Howard said he knows most of his music even if he's not deep into him. Robin said he's not deep by any stretch of the imagination. Howard said the best song is ''The Rising.'' Howard said he thinks that's been proven. Robin asked who proved it. Howard said he did. Howard said he started listening to his entire catalog on Wednesday night and it took him 4 days to go through it all. He said he came up with The Rising as the best Springsteen song. Howard started singing some of the song. Howard said he knows other people would say there are other songs that are his best. Howard said the best was The Rising though. He said now that person has their answer. Howard asked Fred if he was going to play the song. Fred said he was letting The Great American Nightmare finish. Fred asked if he wants it now. Howard said he did. He said this is supposed to be seamless.
Fred played ''The Rising'' but Howard wondered if it was a live version. Fred said he's pretty sure it's a studio version. Howard said Baba Booey is masturbating in his office right now.
Howard said he is quite taken by this song by Royal Blood that he saw on the European Music Awards. Howard said this song ''Figure it Out'' is really good. He said he listened to it like 100 times over the weekend. Robin asked if this song is really Bruce's best. Howard said it is. He said people ask him and he had to come up with an answer.
Howard asked Fred to play that Royal Blood song. Fred played that and Howard said he turned a bunch of people on to the song. He said he was very musically involved this weekend. Howard said he paints to this song. Robin said it doesn't seem like a very musical thing to do. Howard said he has to relax and that's what he does to relax.
Howard said he heard Shuli's comment about how he doesn't have time to sketch. Howard said he doesn't take paternity leave himself. He said that Shuli seems to be missing the point. Howard said he hopes the guys in Royal Blood aren't a one hit wonder. He said he has the live version and the album. He said nothing on the album grabbed him like this song did. Howard said he really likes this one. He talked it up like he was back at WNBC. Howard said Fred took his clothes off. Fred said someone had to.
Wolfie said you know some of these guys are just bitter being there. He said there are newer guys who are there hugging their fans. Howard said some of the guys know what they have to get done and they're very grateful. Howard said if Jimmy is at dinner and people are bugging him then he gets it. He said if you're going to a book signing then you sign the book. He said you're insulting them if you do it like this. Howard said he begged the guy to come on the show to sell some books but he didn't want to come on. Robin said he must still be treated like a god.
Howard said he bets the kids like Royal Bloods would tongue kiss their fans. Howard said they're hungry. Howard thanked Wolfie for the call.
Howard said he went to a Knick game last week and in Celebrity Row next to them was an actress that he can't remember. Howard said he's so fucking out of it. Gary reminded him it was Amanda Seyfried. Howard said she was there with her boyfriend. Howard said he's famous too. He said he looks like Ross from Friends. Howard said he's not sure who he was. Howard said sitting next to those two was Taylor Swift. Howard said he didn't get to see her that much. Howard said Kate Upton was there too. Howard said at one point Kate and Taylor were taking pictures in front of him. He said that he got to look them over. Howard said Taylor is hot, really hot. Howard said she's living some charmed life. Howard said that the Knick city dancers were dancing in front of Taylor and she turned red. He said that was kind of nice that she has some humility.
Gary told Howard that Amanda is dating Justin Long. Gary told him he used to do those Apple commercials. Howard said he left the game early and the Knicks were winning. Howard said he waved to Taylor and she waved back. Howard said he considers that meeting and that she's one of his friends now. Howard said that's about as much interaction that he wants. Howard said she didn't flip the bird back to him so that was successful to him.
Howard said Taylor moves to New York and she's at a Knicks game and palling around with Kate Upton. Howard said that Amanda Seyfried and Taylor are like BFFs now. Howard said he saw the game and he was enjoying that. He said he knows they lst and that was a bummer. He said he knows they were working hard for it.
Howard said he loves talking about the game and getting upset. Howard said he's watching the game with one eye and watching Taylor Swift with the other. He said Taylor and Amanda were bonding and talking to one another. Howard said they're two fast friends. Robin said Taylor does have a lot of show business friends. She said she's always telling Selena Gomez to move to New York. Howard said if he was a young dude and single he'd try for that. Howard said he was at WRNW back when he was in his 20s. He said he used to try to get into Studio 54 back then. He said he'd go there and no one would talk to him there. Howard said no one let him behind a rope. He said he was going where all of the club kids went. He said he went to Loser Studio 54.
Howard said guys who play football are revered. He said this guy who is talking about killing bin Laden is a hero. Howard said it's nice to have that. He said he feels good about him getting noticed. Robin said then you get fakes though. Howard said that aside he has no problem with this guy getting some fame out of it. Howard said he hopes he gets some pussy out of it too. Howard said this guy dropped in on Osama and put a bullet in his head.
Howard said he saw the movie ''Whiplash'' and he loved it. Robin said she did too. Howard said this kid in it is great. Howard said this guy JK Simmons is so good. Howard said he saw Steve Carell in Foxcatcher and he wants him to win the Academy Award. He said he's going to have a tough run against this JK Simmons. Howard said this movie ''Whiplash'' is so good. Howard said they were a sponsor for a while. Howard said this movie is about a teacher and a student who wants to play drums. Howard said JK plays the teacher and he's a hard ass. Howard said it's like Full Metal Jacket with music.
Gary said they are saying that he will be nominated as a supporting actor. Robin said maybe that's good for him though. She said then he's out of the running with some of the bigger names.
Howard said he's been all over this Bill Cosby rape accusation thing. Howard said he has always found Bill to be boring and odd. Howard said he was shocked about people loving his stand up. Howard said he never found him funny.
Howard said that Cosby was on NPR over the weekend and he was asked about the accusations and he just clammed up. Howard had some audio of that. Howard played the clip and Cosby just shook his head no when the host asked him about the accusations. He wasn't saying a word.
Howard said that this actress came out and said that Cosby drugged and raped her back in 1969. Howard said that it's the same move that other women have claimed he's done to them. Howard said he'd claim that he was going to mentor her but then he'd allegedly get them drunk and then they'd lose consciousness. Howard said that this woman claims that she passed out and came to on his couch undressed. Howard asked what drug he could have been using to do that. Robin said that no one heard about people using roofies back then. Robin said he is Dr. William H. Cosby though. Howard said maybe he invented the Roofie.
Howard said Mr. Cosby is sitting in the studio refusing to speak this morning. He asked him some questions and said he was just shaking his head ''no.'' Howard said this is really weird and awkward. Howard and Robin asked some questions and Howard said that he took his penis out at one point. Then Howard said Cosby was making him a drink. He drank it and stayed silent for a few seconds and claimed he was unconscious. Howard said now Cosby is running his fingers through Fred's hair. Howard asked if Cosby raped him when he passed out. Robin said he wasn't out long enough. Howard said his asshole hurts now. He said that he must get anal pain from drinking beer.
Howard read more about what this woman claimed happened to her. Howard said she claims that she didn't tell anyone about this first time. Then it allegedly happened again. Howard said the same thing happened to her and she said that she was never going to see him again after that. Robin said that other people are saying the same thing and that's kind of odd.
Howard said Cosby is staring at Benjy's eyes today. Robin said she was in an elevator with Cosby once and he didn't do anything to her. Howard said Benjy would do that stuff without any drugs.
Howard said Cosby also turned down an appearance on Letterman after this went down. Howard asked Robin if she's insulted that nothing happened to her. Robin said she is now that she's hearing this. Howard said Mr. Cosby is still sitting there saying nothing.
Howard took a call from King of all Blacks who said this interview is going to be horrible. He said he's going to be all nervous and scared. Benjy said he may be. He said part of him is thinking it won't matter in a year. Howard said Benjy went to a hypnotist and he sent him a tape to listen to be a better interviewer. Howard played some of that actual tape of Scott Schmaren telling Benjy how the interview was going to go and how he had to see it as he was listening to this. Scott was telling Benjy there was going to be a flow of conversation and he's going to look at Howard and see a big smile on his face.
Howard was laughing at the tape. King of All Blacks laughed too. Howard said Benjy listened to the tape so he's all set. Howard played another commercial for the interview and they called Benjy an obesity expert.
King told Benjy to ask Beth if Howard ever persuaded her to do anything against her will. Robin said she did marry him. Howard added that it was against her will.
Howard asked what King wanted to talk about. King asked if Beth ever pushes back when he wants to leave something early. Howard said most times she's right in sync with him. Howard said she was ready to leave the Knick game. He said they were both beat. Howard said she's pretty chill. He said it's not a big deal for her.
Howard said he has a woman on the phone who claims that she was raped by Bill Cosby. Howard picked up on her and it was Wendy the Slow Adult. Howard's voice was echoing. Howard said her radio must be on. Wendy just went along with it. She said she was on a speaker phone. Howard asked her to get on a regular phone. Wendy said she could do that. She changed phones.
Howard asked Wendy when she met Bill Cosby. She said it was about a year ago. Howard helped her out asking her if she was being mentored by Cosby. She just said yes to everything Howard asked her. He went with it like she was the one who was drugged back in 1969.
Howard asked Wendy about how much she weighs and she said last time she weighed herself she was 281 pounds. Howard asked her more questions about the Cosby thing and Wendy was making up stuff about beating him in bowling and things like that. She said she went to his apartment and he had a lot of cats. Howard said she also said that she had to make a doody there at his apartment. Howard said she also wasn't able to find toilet paper. Wendy said she used her baby wipes that she had in her bag. Howard said he thought she used a cat to wipe with. She said she did but then she used the baby wipes. Howard asked if he had sex with any of the cats. Wendy said he did. Howard asked if she clogged the toilet with her massive doody. Wendy said yes. Howard asked if she ever says no. Wendy said no. She was saying yes to everything else.
Howard asked if Wendy went to Pizza Hut with Cosby. Wendy said yes. She said yes to everything. Howard said he took her behind the Pizza Hut to go dumpster diving. Wendy said they did. Howard asked what she ate and things like that. Howard said that he actually fed her cat food. Wendy said yes. Robin said this story sounds a little different than the others. Howard said he's getting exclusive details. Howard asked why she waited so long to come forward. Wendy said she's in Lala Land and she's not sure what she's doing these days. Howard asked if the drugs made her permanently retarded. She said yes. Howard asked how much money she wants from Cosby. She said a thousand dollars. Howard said he should settle if he's listening.
Howard asked Wendy more questions about the alleged rape and Wendy made some stuff up and answered yes to the other questions Howard was asking. He asked if she had skid marks in her panties. She said yes to that. Howard asked if she was crying over this. Wendy said she was and she faked a cry that sounded more like a cough. Howard asked if she got out of the house eventually. Wendy said yes. Howard said there you have it. He said she eventually escaped. Howard asked if she had any dingle berries. She wasn't sure what that was but said she did. Howard told her what dingle berries were. Wendy said she did have those. She said that Cosby vomited when he went down on her. Howard asked if she shaves her bush. She said he doesn't. Howard asked if Cosby got hair stuck in his teeth. She said he did. Howard said he jumped out the window when that happened. Howard said that's some story.
Howard asked if she had a family of birds living in her bush. Wendy said yes. She said she has names for the birds and they're Sal and Richard. Howard said that's cute. Wendy said she didn't have anything else to add to the story. Howard said he thinks that this is the first retarded person to come forward. Howard said she had a 197 IQ before this happened and now it's what? Wendy said 198. Howard said he thinks it's just 1. Howard asked if he has to say that story isn't true. He said he thinks she's going to be talking to the NY Times this afternoon. Howard said no wonder Cosby likes her. She only says yes.
Howard said that this woman will be sitting down with Oprah later this week. Howard said that he's going to call her Ms. X. Howard said she might be able to play her cards right and get $1,500 out of him. Howard said that was a made up story for anyone who thought that was real.
Howard said he was alone with Yoda yesterday. He said Beth asked him to keep an eye on him. Howard said Yoda went and took a dump and the doody got stuck in his fur. He said the cat is a Persian so he's really furry. Howard said he was trying to get the doody out and the cat was angry and yelling at him. He said that he didn't get it all out. He said Beth told him to brush it out. Howard said this scene is not in Beth's book. Howard said that Beth said she knew she shouldn't have gone out that day. He said that was his day. He said then Jimmy Kimmel called and asked what he was doing. Howard said he told him about how he was trying to clean cat shit out of the cat's asshole. Howard said that he used about 20 baby wipes and he still didn't get all the doody. Robin asked what he did with the wipes. Howard said he flushed them of course. Robin said he has to stop flushing those things. Howard said he needs Robin to give him some advice on that. They went to break after that. As they went to break they played a call that some guy made to a show where he was extremely nervous.
Howard said Graham Nash is going to call in too. Howard said they're doing a cool thing with him Thanksgiving week. He said they have a special coming up and he's going to play some tunes and songs off the new album and things like that. Howard played a clip from the special. He had Graham performing ''Teach Your Children'' in that clip. Howard was harmonizing with that. Howard said that he can do it. Howard said he can sing his ass off. Robin said it sounded like someone was ripping his ass off.
Howard said people are writing in about Robin being able to lick her own breast. Howard said that they say she's not the only one. Howard said someone suggested they have a lick off on the show. Howard played a song parody that came in about Robin.
Howard said they found a clip of a guy who can fuck himself in the ass. Howard played that clip and the guy was describing how it feels. Then Howard played a clip of a Morgan Freeman impersonator giving directions on how to fuck yourself in your own ass.
JD came in and asked if Howard wanted to see the visual of the guy fucking himself in the ass. Howard said he'd like to see that. JD brought in the video for him to watch. Howard said he wondered how he's doing that. Robin said maybe it's trick photography. Howard said that's no trick.
Howard played a clip of a President Obama impersonator talking about doing the mangina trick with his dick and balls.
Howard played a prank call a woman made to a radio show where she was selling the clothes that her father wore before he died. She said that he was in Africa and got Ebola. The host of the show said that was the most insane thing he'd ever heard and hung up. Howard went to break after that. As they went to break they played a Baba Booey song parody and a commercial for Benjy's upcoming interview with Beth.
Howard said he went to see Bradley Cooper in Elephant Man. Howard said it's in preview now. Howard said he was sitting in the theater waiting for the show to start and this woman gets up to go to the bathroom or something. Howard said she gets up and she's wearing a negligee. Howard said she's stunning and her whole titty is hanging out. Howard said she's showing off her breasts and you can almost see her nips. Howard said you can almost see through it. Howard said he was thinking about how hot she was. He said then he realized that Bradley is a good looking dude. Howard said he thinks they wanted to be seen by him. Howard said his life must be insane. Howard said he's trying to be serious about this role and these women are half naked and dolled up in the audience.
Howard said if you want to see the best looking women in New York then go see that play. Howard said Bradley doesn't use any make up or anything. Robin said that's the way it's always been done. Howard said he went to see him after the show and it was great to see him. He said he wanted to tell him what a good job he did. He said the lead actress was there and in the play she gets naked for the Elephant Man. Howard said he saw her and went up to her doing his Elephant Man. He said he told her he was hoping she'd get naked for him. Howard said she thought that was funny. Howard said that's him being funny. Robin said that's so inappropriate. Robin said that was Jessica Chastain. Howard said she was in Zero Dark Thirty. Howard said that's not who it was. Howard said it was a different Jessica. Howard said he's not sure who it was. Robin said maybe it's Patricia Clarkson. Howard said that's her.
Howard said he saw the director there and he said he could fill in for Bradley if he's ever sick. He said Bradley told him to do his impression so he did. Howard said he gladly did it. Howard said he did his whole facial contortion and did the voice. Howard said the director told him that wasn't half bad. Howard said they dragged the guy out of there in a straight jacket. Howard did some of his impression for Robin. Robin said with that impression he doesn't even have to learn any dialog. Howard said that's right.
Howard said he was thinking how great a Beetlejuice the Play would be. Howard said it could be a musical. Howard asked who could play him. Robin said they need someone like Denzel Washington. Howard said he could play it on his knees. Howard said maybe Bill Cosby could do it.
Howard asked Robin if she licked her boobs at all this weekend. Robin said no. Howard said Ralph can lick his own berry. Howard said he was bragging about that.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk or Jeff the Bore as Robin reminded him. Howard played a bit they put together with Jeff saying that he should adopt him like a cat so he can sit on his lap. Howard played a song parody about Jeff and his name change.
Howard asked Jeff what was up. Jeff said that Steve Miller was awesome last night. Howard asked if he's still around. Jeff said he is. Howard asked what he opened with. He didn't know. Howard hummed a tune and Jeff said that was it. Jeff said he forgot that he sang Abracadabra. He asked if he's boring him. Howard said he is. Howard asked how he pays for that. Jeff said they were comped. He said that the guys who brought him up there gave them to him. Howard said this is another fascinating conversation.
Jeff thanked Howard for some things but Howard cut him off saying that was Jeff the Bore everyone. Jeff said he wants to thank him for giving him a life. Howard said alright. Howard said they had a Jeff the Bore bit but now he can't remember what it was. Fred was playing the Steve Miller Band song ''Fly Like an Eagle'' as they were ending the call with Jeff.
Howard played a bit they did with Jeff the Bore where he explained how to live life. They went to break after that. As they were going to break they played a prank call Sal and Richard made to Gary the Retard where they had clips of Robin saying that she was telling everyone he was her sister and things like that.
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who said he wanted to urge him not to do AGT again. He said the first reason is that he has come a long way in his life. He said that he has so many things to do now. He said the second reason is that the show isn't that good. He said AGT is okay but Howard is better than that. He said it's good for Howie. Howard said he understands what he's saying. Howard said he knows what he's saying about AGT and how he's too good for the show. Howard said he wanted to be a judge and have some fun doing it. Howard said that's what he's doing. Howard said he's not saying that he's better than the other judges. Howard said that's his thing. He said he likes doing it.
Howard said he has been offered a lot of TV shows and he could be doing that. He said that he wanted to be a judge on one of these shows. Howard said he thought he had something meaningful to say. Howard said he had a conversation with the America's Got Talent people. He said they described some format changes in the show and things like that. Howard said now he has to make a decision on if he's going to do it. Howard said after he spoke to them he said it might be time for him to leave. He said that they were describing the schedule again and in some ways it would be easier but he'd still have to go to L.A. Howard said he doesn't get to see people out there. He said he won't get to see Jimmy but they're going to be together at Christmas. Howard said he was on the phone with Jimmy, Molly and Jane last night. Howard said Jane is more articulate than the two of them.
Howard said when he goes to L.A. for AGT it's not fun. Howard said they do the tapings in New York and that's not fun either. Howard said he's not sure he wants to do it at this point. Howard said he has to really think it through.
Howard said he wishes they could make it easier on him but he doesn't think they could. He said it's already pretty easy. He just doesn't want to be cranky.
The caller said Howard has brought the show to a new level. He said he'd like it if he wasn't on it when it jumped the shark. Howard said it's a frivolous show that has launched some careers. Howard said if people don't watch it then what does he care? He said that he wishes he could do the show from his living room over an ISDN line. Howard said he has so many things going on and he still has to tape that show.
Robin said Howard enjoyed doing it when he was in his living room. Howard said he did. He said now it's turned into a job. Howard said he has no idea what he's going to do. He said he's not trying to bust anyone's balls. Howard said he was going to tell them no but then he waits a day and he thinks it would be fun to do it again.
Howard played another commercial for Benjy's upcoming interview with Beth. Howard read more mail about that and some people think it's going to suck and some think it might be great.
Howard read more mail about Benjy and Beth's interview and people are split on what they think will happen. Benjy told Howard he never said he wasn't going to prepare for this interview. Howard said he is getting hypnosis. He played more of the Scott Schmaren tape that he made for Benjy.
Howard asked if that's working on Benjy at all. Benjy said he talked to Scott on Saturday. He said he's done this about 4 times. He said it's tough because he loves what he did with Sal. He said he knows that Scott didn't really like him. He said he's not sure if he wants him to do well. He said he thinks that he's doing everything in the right way but it's tough.
Howard said his prediction is that the interview will go horribly. Howard said this is crazy talk coming from Benjy. He said he's not sure what he's talking about. Benjy said he isn't sure if Scott wants him to do well. Benjy asked if Howard has any advice. Howard laughed. Howard told him to just do his thing and have a conversation with Beth. Robin said he's over thinking it now. Howard said that he wanted to have a few minutes with her and that's what he's getting. Howard said he will have time with her.
Benjy said he wanted to find out what Beth's favorite childhood song is. Howard said he knows. He said that she doesn't have one. Benjy said it's any one that she likes. Howard said she did tell him what she likes. Benjy said that he has to have the audio ready. Howard said that he won't have this one. Howard said it's something that her dad sang to her. Benjy said that he wanted to have it played. Howard told him to just have a conversation.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he would rather hear Howard talk to Beth. He said he pays to hear that. Howard said he knows. He said he thought it was interesting that Benjy wanted to do this. He said ''C'mon leave me alone.'' Howard said he has unleashed something in the audience with this. Howard said it won't be so mind blowing. Benjy said it might be.
Howard said if you want to have a conversation with Beth then go to her book signing. He said she looks good and you can stare at her. Howard said that she is selling a children's book though. Howard said she might wear a serious author outfit.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that with AGT it's the only show that moved the entire production for him. Howard said that he thinks that he's not the be all and end all for the show. He said they have plans if he doesn't re-sign. The caller said that he's been in the news a lot lately and he thinks that he will be the King of All Media for all time.
Howard said that Ronnie put together some Thanksgiving sex tips. Howard said it's so creepy but he wants to spend time with it. Howard said he'll talk to Joy Behar and then get to these some other time. Howard said he can't do it in 3 seconds. Howard said maybe he can play it and not comment. Robin said maybe they can do that. Howard said he'll give Robin one then. Howard played the clip and Ronnie was talking about Cranberry sauce and how you can stick then in your girl's pussy or asshole. He said then you put a yam on top of that and put it on her taint and lick it out. Howard said he's not kidding. Howard said Mr. Cosby is still there and shaking his head. Howard said now they have to take a break. Robin said they have to take that in. They went to break after that.
Howard asked Joy if she takes pleasure in the fact that The View was very high rated when she was on and now it's struggling. Joy said she has friends over there and she wants them to have jobs. Joy said they got rid of her at Current TV too. She said that they sold that to Al Jezera and they have half the numbers they had before.
Howard said that Joy had a show on HLN and she was dumped there too. Howard asked if she was asking for too much money. Joy said she thinks that someone hates her. She said just one person in power hates you and they don't care if your ratings are good. Howard said he thinks that they'd put up with any nonsense if she's got ratings. Joy said she was second in the ratings on HLN but sometimes peopled don't like her politics. She said that there has to be a reason for them to get rid of her.
Howard asked Joy how long she was on The View. She said she was on it for 16 years. Joy said she watches it once in awhile now. She said that she likes being free when she gets fired. She said that's why she came up with this new show. She said she likes doing new things.
Howard asked of Joy just wanted to get the fuck off that show. Howard said it must have been tough when she argued with Elisabeth. Joy said that they were never good friends but they weren't enemies off the air. She said after the fights were over they'd compliment each other's clothes and stuff. Howard asked why they didn't talk off the air. Joy said they just didn't have anything to say to each other. She said Elisabeth lives in Connecticut and it's a whole other world up there.
Howard said he was shocked when Joy and Whoopi walked off the show when Bill O'Reilly was on. Howard said he thinks that's not right. Howard said if he's a guest on the show then you don't walk off. Joy said she doesn't book the show. She said that she doesn't find him amusing in any way. Joy said she's not sure what it was that propelled her from that seat. She said something pushed her off that seat and she just did it. Howard asked if she regrets doing that. Joy said not at all. She said that she didn't see him afterward. She said that Bill is shameless and he doesn't care.
Howard asked if Barbara was upset. Joy said Barbara was pissed. She said that she saw the numbers go up and then she was okay with it. Howard said everything is forgiven when you get ratings.
Howard said Joy was a school teacher and she worked at a mental hospital. Joy said it was a long time ago. She said she thinks it was Kings Park. Howard said she came from a working class family. Howard asked what her dad did. She said her dad drove a truck for Coca Cola. She said she brought a Pepsi home once and her dad almost killed her. Howard said Joy decided to become a teacher. Joy said she did what she did. Howard said it sounds like a horrible life. Joy said she was living out on Long Island too. She said it's all in her one woman show ''Me, My Mouth and I.'' Howard gave her a plug for that and said you can find out more at CherryLaneTheater.org
Howard said Joy was doing all of that and then she went up and did stand up. Howard talked to her about that and Joy brought up the Joan Rivers funeral and asked if people told him he was inappropriate. Howard said not really. He said he asked Melissa if it was okay to do some of that stuff and she was fine with it. Joy said that Howard was really good that day. She asked who he found to be boring. Howard said he felt everyone was on point. Robin asked who Joy didn't like. Howard said he even thought the bagpipes were good. Howard said he bets that she thought Deborah Norville was boring. Joy said she thought she was okay. Howard said he has been to shows that are boring but the funeral was very entertaining. Joy said it was better than the Emmys. Howard said it should have been a TV special. Howard said he thought that Cindy Adams was good too. Joy said she used to do stand up so that's why.
Joy said she figured Howard was going to ask her about her dry vagina. She said they're all getting old now. Howard said that Joy doesn't talk about her age but she looks good for her age. She said she's got good Italian jeans. Howard said people think she's Jewish but she's not. Joy said that is true. Howard said people think he's Jewish too. He said he's not sure why.
Howard said he didn't know that Joy suffered from dry vagina. Howard said that Joy used to ask him every time if he was going to get married again. He said she was very happy not being married. Howard said she got married again though. Joy said you need someone to step on the air hose at some point. She said a Jew will do it but a catholic won't. She said that you're taught that you can't do that stuff when you're catholic.
Joy told Howard that she doesn't believe in heaven or hell or anything like that. She said Howard once told a story about how this is all one big accident and she loved that. She said that's what she believes. That led to them talking about Joan going to get surgery and losing her life. Joy said that they just go overboard with that stuff. Howard said that it sounds like some things were mishandled when that was going on. Robin said they were taking selifies in the operating room. Joy said that can't be true.
Howard asked Joy if she tunes into The View and thinks that they need her on the panel. Joy said no but she thinks they need to lighten up that panel a little bit. Howard asked if it's true that they want to bring her back. Joy said she doesn't know and she hasn't been contacted. Howard asked if she would go back. Joy said if it's full time then no. She said that when she started the show she was on 3 days a week.
Howard said that Joy was at Milton Berle's 89th birthday party and Barbara Walters saw her there. Joy said that Barbara can laugh. She said that she got off the stage and someone told her that everyone was laughing but Barbara. She said that she didn't care and she was never going to work for her. Then she got the call from her to work on The View.
Howard asked Joy about working with Star Jones. Joy made a face according to Howard. Howard asked if she was upset that she used the show to promote stuff all the time. Joy said it was allowed and she was annoyed with the people who ran the show. She said if you let people do it then they're going to abuse the power. Joy said they let it happen. Howard asked if they were afraid to lose her. Joy said she had a great style about her and she had the power on the show to do that stuff.
Howard said Joy was there when Sherri Shepherd said that the earth is flat. Joy said they got her a globe so she's fine now. She said she likes Sherri.
Howard said Joy got up and did stand up for the first time and she killed. Joy said she did and then she was terrified to do it again. Joy said that there are no classes to teach you when the right time to do comedy is. She said that she did a show at 10 o'clock at night to a crowd and killed. Then she does it at 1 in the morning for 3 drunk people and she bombed. Joy said she went back to teaching after bombing. She said that she was scared to do it again. Joy said she did it in 1975 and didn't do it again until 1981. She said she didn't think she could do it.
Howard asked what made her do it again in 1981. Joy said she was on the balls of her ass and she had to go for it. She said that teaching is hard. She said she was teaching kindergarten and the kids would constantly tell on one another. She said she had one kid telling that another kid said the F-word so she asked ''Who the fuck said the f-word?'' and got fired over that.
Joy told Howard about working at Good Morning America as a receptionist. She said that she got fired from that show. She said that she had people calling and asking stupid questions about the show. Joy said she got fired from that show. She said she got promoted to produce and she made such a big mistake. She said she had to have animals coming through the Midtown Tunnel and she wrote down 12pm instead of 12am which is when they came through.
Howard said Joy pulled it together with her stand up and she was eventually a guest on Good Morning America. Joy said she was focused and the obstacles disappear when you're focused.
Joy told Howard that Beth is gorgeous. She asked if Howard would have married an ugly girl. Howard said he didn't work this hard to marry an ugly girl. Howard asked who would be an ugly girl that he'd date. Joy said she had to think of someone who isn't that beautiful. She mentioned this Nicole Wallace who is on The View now. Howard said she's attractive. Joy said she is but she's not ''hot.''
Joy asked if Howard uses Viagra. Howard said he doesn't need it. He said he had sex this weekend and masturbated too. Howard said he watched some porn where this woman and her step daughter are having sex with this guy. Joy said that he should watch The Affair. Howard said Beth is watching it and she told him not to. Joy said they're constantly screwing on that show.
Howard asked Joy about working with Woody Allen on a movie. Joy said she was working on that movie in 1991 when the whole Soon Yi thing was going on. She said that he would come to work and only talk to Diane Keaton. She said he didn't talk to her. Joy said she did the scene she was supposed to do where she stares at Angelica Houston and when she was done Woody told her that he was very happy with what she was doing.
Howard asked Joy about the time she revealed that Rosie O'Donnell was going to be on The View and Barbara threatened to fire her. Joy said that she told her that she wasn't going to renew. She said that she was told not to talk about it. Joy said she just completely forgot that she was told not to say anything. Howard said he does that too.
Howard asked if she was upset about all of the stuff that happened with The View. Joy told Howard that she has had therapy so she's over a lot of that stuff. Howard said he's still in therapy. He said he's been in it for 16 years. He said he was doing 4 days a week but now he's down to 2. He said that the shrink thinks he should be back up to 3 or 4 though.
Howard asked Joy about this one woman show she's doing. Howard asked about what that's about. Joy told Howard about what she does in it and she told Robin to come see it. Howard said that it's called ''Me, My Mouth and I.'' Howard gave her plugs for the web site and said it runs through December.
Howard said Joy had a run in with Governor Christie in New Jersey. Joy said they were doing a roast of Brendan Byrne and Christie was there. She said that she did some jokes about Christie at the roast and he jumped up and took her papers away. She said she joked about the bridge closure thing and asked if he was blocking it by standing in the road or something.
Howard and Joy were talking about Mayor De Blasio and how his wife claims to have been a lesbian. Howard said he knew a woman who was a hard core lesbian but then she got married and became full on heterosexual. Howard said that he's not sure what's up with that.
Howard asked Joy what her stance is on getting high. Joy said she doesn't need weed making her appetite better. She said she eats enough. Howard said that he gets paranoid on that stuff. Howard asked if she drinks. Joy said she drinks some wine.
Joy said she had a problem with Uber this morning. She said she was told they were going to be there in 9 minutes. She said she was 12 minutes and the car left and charged her. Howard said that he's hearing that it's been a problem lately. Howard said that he thinks the whole Uber thing is a great idea.
Howard said Joy is delightful. He gave her more plugs for her show and Joy said it really is funny. She said she knows Howard has a lot of women listening. Howard said the audience is like 45 percent women. He said people are shocked by that.
Howard said Joy didn't really start in comedy until she was 40. He said that Rodney Dangerfield was like that and he was angry about not getting that start until late in life. Joy said it doesn't matter when it happens. She said all we have is what's going on right now. Howard said at 40 you just think it's too late. He said you think you should have done it when you were younger. Joy said Malcolm Gladwell says you need 10,000 hours to be an expert at anything. She said that she had that many hours doing a lot of things. She said that she didn't have it doing comedy but she was able to do that.
Howard asked if she's friendly with Jerry Seinfeld. She said she's not that close but she knows him. Howard said he thinks that Chris Rock is the best out there right now. Joy said that he used to be afraid of her. She said that she told him he didn't have to do a joke about date rape and he didn't want her back stage at his show once.
Howard asked if she was a Richard Pryor fan. Joy said she wasn't but she loved Robert Klein. Howard asked if she got Bill Cosby. Joy said she didn't. She said she felt that he drones on too long. Howard asked if she was ever drugged by him. Joy said she wasn't but she sees that a lot of people are coming out and saying they were and no one is defending him. Howard said he was the first stand up show he saw and he was bored by him and wanted to walk out. Joy said that he's a big, fat star though. Joy said that Alan King once told her that funny is not money. She said that he thought you could be funny and not make a lot of money.
Howard said that he likes Joy just riffing here. Joy said she had a radio show on WABC. She was fired from that too. Howard said she just needs to be on with him. Joy said Howard has all of the money there. Howard said that's right. Joy said she was on WABC with Rush Limbaugh. She said that Rush told her to just be bold and that was the best advice. Robin said that is good advice. Howard wrapped up with Joy after that. He gave her some more plugs and said he's sorry that she suffers from dry vagina. Howard asked if she gives her husband oral. Joy said sometimes. She said that she hopes her daughter isn't listening to this.
Howard asked if she can take anything to help her out. Joy said she just rolls over and pretends to sleep. She said that she has a safe word which is ''Get off of me!'' She said that it hurts to have sex. Howard asked about anal. Joy said that's disgusting. Joy asked if Howard does that. Howard said it hurts.
Joy asked who else is coming on after her. Howard said they have Graham Nash calling in quickly but they're going to do the news after that. Howard thanked Joy for coming in and told her to come back sometime. They wrapped up and went to break after that. As they went to break they played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a Swap Shop show.
Howard said Graham came in and did a special for them there in the studio. Howard said that they had someone there running the board for him. He said Graham is going to tell some stories and play some tunes. Howard said that this is called Howard Stern presents Graham Nash. Howard said the special is on next Wednesday on Howard 101.
Howard asked Graham about Jimmy Page going around and rubber stamping his signature in his books. He asked if Graham is signing his books. Graham said of course he's signing. He said he might as well not be there if he's stamping them. Howard said Graham's book is called ''Wild Tales: A Rock & Roll Life''. Howard asked what the book is about. Graham said he has lived a wild life and that's what this book is about.
Howard asked if the other guys in the band asked him why he's writing this. Graham said he sent the other guys what he was writing and he asked if they wanted any changes made and he never heard back so he assumed that meant they didn't care. He said that Crosby is kind of mad at him now though. He said that he's been a big part of his life for the past 45 years. He said Crosby affected his life and he wrote about that. Graham said he thinks that he talked about him a bit too much but he was a big part of his life.
Howard asked if he said to himself that he could fuck up the relationship. Graham said that it was his life and that's what he was writing about.
Howard asked if Graham heard about Neil Young saying there will never be a reunion with them. Howard said that he blamed David for that. He asked why he thinks David did what he did. Graham said he thinks that David had some experience with Daryl Hannah and he shot his mouth off about that. He said that it was too late by the time it got out there.
Robin asked if there is a guy code though. Howard said that he could have kept it quiet and done it in person. Graham said that if a few words stopped the band from going forward then he feels bad. He said that he feels bad for everyone involved. He said he wishes them all the very best.
Howard asked if he tried to get them to speak to one another. Graham said he thinks they did. He said that he was never a part of it himself. He said it was between David and Neil. He said they are like brothers and they go through this kind of stuff.
Howard said he loves his honesty about that stuff. He said he can't wait for the special to air. Howard said that the book is called ''Wild Tales: A Rock & Roll Life'' and it's out in Paperback now. Howard said the CD box set is also out. That's called CSNY 1974.
Howard said that it's great that Graham did this special for them. He thanked him for calling in and let him go after that.
Howard said he played a clip of a gay guy who claimed that he was cured of his gayness by a preacher. Howard played the clip again and then played a Phil Collins song where they stuck clips of that guy into it.
Howard took a call from Matt the new Wack Pack guy. Howard said he's known as Monotone Matt. Howard played a Little Mikey song parody about Matt.
Howard said they're going to have a big initiation for Matt. Howard said they usually keep that a big secret but this will be on Howard 101. Howard said that Ham Hands Bill had some suggestions for the initiation. Howard played the clip of Bill's voice mail where he said it would be funny to bring Matt in and have him spanked on the ass by Mariann, Bobo and Jeff the Drunk. Matt said he's up for whatever they want. Howard said they should have him be mentored by Bill Cosby. Howard asked Bill, who he said was sitting in. Howard said Bill is shaking his head no. Howard said he is willing to mentor him though. He said he's shaking his head yes for that.
Howard played another Little Mikey song parody about Monotone Matt. He asked how he's doing with his wife. Matt said they're doing okay. He said he hasn't had any more action though.
Matt said he wanted to suggest that Benjy dress like Howard and wear glasses like him. He said he thinks that he might do a better interview. Howard said he's out of his mind. He said he had to go.
Howard played a clip from the Wrap UP Show and Bobo was saying that this guy babbles incoherently and he has nothing to say. Bobo said that he's screwing up his thought process. Howard said Bobo has a problem with Matt. Bobo said that everyone took a long time to get in.
Gary said Mariann called in and said that Matt is stealing valuable time from the rest of them. Howard had Mariann on the phone and asked her about that. Mariann said she's going to the Beth book signing tonight. She said she is looking forward to that. She also gave Benjy some advice for the interview tonight. Mariann also told Howard about what was bid to get to meet Howard in the studio on Ebay. Howard hung up on her after that.
Robin started her news with a story about a judge awarding the strippers at Rick's Cabaret $10 million in back wages. Howard said that judge is going to get a hell of a lap dance. Howard said that's a lot of money. Robin said she's not sure how many women were involved. Robin said they were denied wages and required to pay fees to the club. Robin read that they were called free lancers and they weren't paid to come into the clubs. Howard said he heard the judge looked at Ronnie's picture and awarded them an extra $3 million.
Howard said that he has another Thanksgiving tip from Ronnie. In that one Ronnie said if you kill your own turkey you save a feather to tickle your girl's clit. He said something about squirting in the clip and Howard and Robin were both disgusted by that. Howard said he blames Rick's for that. He said that they made Ronnie think that he's sexy.
Robin read a story about stores opening early for Thanksgiving and some people are opposed. Robin said that Walmart is going to have protesters as well as shoppers on Black Friday. Robin said that the employees are upset about their wages.
Howard said Bill Cosby is still in the studio and refusing to answer questions. He said he just handed him a note saying he thinks Ronnie is a creep though.
Robin read about how John Tesh has come out against K-Mart opening at 6 on Thanksgiving day. Howard said that Cosby wants to know what Robin's favorite cocktail is. Robin said she drinks wine, not cocktails. Howard said Cosby just said that's fine. Robin had some audio of John Tesh talking about the K-Mart thing. Howard said Cosby just said he could have green drink with Robin.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard him talking about the Navy Seal guy earlier. Howard said that he is a hero and he likes to make heroes out of them. The caller said that the story goes a little different than the way the guy is telling it. The caller said that when they went into the room he said that all that guy did was yell ''Hold him down and I'll suck his dick.'' Howard said he's not sure where he's going with this. The caller said the guy is also a big fan of Bill Cosby. Fred played the Twilight Zone music as Howard was letting the guy go.
Robin read a story about a new single that Bob Geldof has released. Robin had Howard play some of that song which included a bunch of stars of today. Fred threw in some Yoko audio too. Howard was wondering who was singing on it. Robin ran down a list of the names. Howard said he thinks that no one gives a shit. Robin said if they do the proceeds go to the Ebola crisis in Africa.
Howard took a call from Tommy in Malden who asked if he saw last night's 60 Minutes. Howard said he did not. Tommy told Howard that Norah O'Donnell is really hot. Howard said he was busy with Homeland last night. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read about the new Christmas albums that are coming out this year. Robin read about some of the country stars that are coming out with new stuff. She had some examples of those new albums. Howard played one song and said he wouldn't buy that if he was told it would cure cancer. Howard said that someone needs to give that girl career advice. Howard said that she's signing that shitty song. Howard said just imagine that. Howard said Bill Cosby is nodding his head that he hates it too. Howard listened to it a second time and said it was worse the second time. Robin had some other examples of albums that are coming out. Howard liked one of the songs. Howard played some of his own Christmas songs that are coming out. He had one from a Dice Clay impersonator. Howard also played the Yoko Ono sings the classics commercial parody. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how AC/DC's song sales went up after it was revealed that Phil Rudd was arrested for allegedly trying to hire someone to have someone killed.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who asked him to please not let Benjy interview Beth. Howard asked what the big deal is. Speech said he's still angry at Benjy for not being able to make it in on time to the show. He said he stops the show and he's the worst interviewer. Howard said they were mad at Benjy but he has been coming in on time. Speech asked who cares about him and who cares about his horse shit whore girlfriend. That got Benjy mad. Benjy said he thought he was a sweet guy. He said he didn't know this was him. Benjy said he's sorry that he talks like that but you'd think that he'd be a little angel. Howard said Bill Cosby just handed him a note asking him to hang up on Speech Impediment Man. They played his theme song and Howard hung up on him.
Howard took a call from Bobo who asked if he is going to set up a signal for Benjy or something to set him up for a good interview. Howard said there are no signals or anything that they're going to do. Howard said Beth is going to come in and just talk to Benjy. Benjy asked if they are talking about it. Howard said not really.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he hates Bobo on the show and he was doing fine until he put him on. Bobo argued with the guy for a minute and Bobo said they've never even heard of him before. Howard said he can't hear the caller. Bobo said his phone sucks. Howard let Bobo and the caller go after that.
Robin read a story about how groundwater levels dropping dramatically in California. Robin had audio of a guy talking about what this could do to our food supply. Howard said he's not sure why anyone wants to have kids these days. He said the future is going to suck. Robin said Howard had three children. Howard said he world is different for him. He said he can have whatever he wants. He said that regular people have to think about this. Howard said he is worried about the world. He said that he's one of these people who doesn't think that there is an afterlife. He said this is it. Robin said they're having a pretty good life. Howard said they are. Robin read more about how the ground water levels are falling all over the world and in California where they produce 25 percent of the food we eat. Howard said he thinks the world is dying and some people will be able to get off this planet and go somewhere else. Howard said you know he'll be going. He said everyone will want him. Howard said he feels bad for the people who are stuck here. Howard said hopefully it doesn't end before Benjy does his interview with Beth.
Robin read a story about police in New York City looking for someone who pushed a father of 2 in front of a train. Robin said that they have a photo of this man and they are trying to find him. Robin said that the MTA is saying that the guy was standing there with his wife and it was an unprovoked attack. Robin said the wife was with him and the man was killed when he was hit.
Robin read that another American has been killed by ISIS. Robin said we're wondering what to do now. Howard said he heard that we are crushing them and they are starting to crumble. Howard said he heard that Al Queada and ISIS are figuring out how to merge. Robin read about what we're saying about the beheading. Robin said the video showed the beheading of 14 other men as well. Robin said that they don't care what these people are doing when they capture and behead them.
Howard read some email about the chemical smell they had in there last week. Howard said the studio is back to smelling like whatever Gary ate for breakfast and the smell of shit. Howard said that's what he's smelling today.
Robin read a story about Mitt Romney saying that he's not running for President but he is speaking out a lot about how he'd handle ISIS. Robin had some audio of him talking about that.
Robin read about how the new pope is coming to America. Robin had some details about that visit which will happen next year. Howard said he likes this new Pope. He said he wants to move things forward and he likes that.
Robin read a story about a father daughter dance that was held at a prison. Howard said that sounds like a great TV show. Robin read about how that came about and how happy some of the prisoners were to see their daughters.
Robin read a story about how the postal service will be delivering on Sundays during this holiday season. Howard said he loves that. He said he's glad that they can do something great like that in hits country. Howard said he guarantees there is no other postal service like that in any other country.
Robin read a story about an award show that was on this weekend. Robin said that Jennifer Lopez had some trouble saying the name of a movie. Robin said she doesn't think she had the clip pulled.
Robin asked if Howard is looking forward to the news Hunger Games Mockingjay movie. Howard said no. He said he doesn't care about that. Robin had some audio of Lorde singing a song for that movie. Robin had some audio of her talking about the project too.
Robin read a story about Neil Young being upset with Starbucks over them refusing to list certain ingredients in their coffee. Howard said that guy is all charged up about stuff even at his age.
Robin said that Bono took a spill on a bicycle and he had to have surgery to fix it. Howard said he's been having some bad luck lately. Howard said he was in a plane and the door flew off. Howard said he thinks it's payback for forcing that shitty album of theirs on people.
Robin read a story about Metallica setting up for a week with Craig Ferguson starting tonight. Howard said they're terrific.
Robin read that Dumb and Dumber To was number one at the box office. Robin said they made $38 million this weekend. Howard said they've already made over $100 million overseas. Robin said that they're doing very well. She read a few other movie box office details and ended her news. Howard ended the show around 10:10am.
Jon said Howard also talked about The Rising being his favorite Springsteen song. Gary said that he doesn't agree. He said he talked to Lisa G about that for the news and he said he'd go with Thunder Road.
Jon brought up Benjy's upcoming interview with Beth and how Benjy is getting hypnosis help from Scott Schmaren. Gary said that Scott has offered to him to help him get a strike if he threw out another first pitch. He said that he's not sure that would work for him. He said he wants to go to sleep and wake up being able to pitch like Nolan Ryan.
Jon asked Gary what he thinks will happen with that. Gary said he hopes that Benjy already has a clear vision of what he wants to do.
Jon said Sal is in there now and he had some experience with Scott Schmaren. Sal said that he helped him learn that he was a turtle. Sal said he has helped him out with other things too. He said you have to want the hypnosis to help you for it to work. He said it can only help Benjy.
Gary said he knows Sal goes to Scott and he wonders what he's helped him with. Sal said he has helped him de-stress. He said that he's helped him change his mind with some things. He said that he wanted to get over some hurdles over doing stand up comedy and things like that.
Jon asked Sal what a tune up is when it comes to hypnosis. Sal said that it just helps implant things into your brain more. Gary asked how many times he's seen him. Sal said it's been about 5. He said the last time was about two and a half months ago. He said Scott is very busy traveling so he can't see him too often. He said when he's in town he will see him again though. He said that he records the session and gives it to you so you can listen to it over again.
Jon asked Sal if he thinks that Benjy will be helped by that. Sal said it will help his confidence. Gary said he's not sure Benjy lacks in confidence. He said he seems to have balls of steel. Jon agreed.
Sal said he always wants to better himself. He said Michael Jordan still practices 3 point shots. He said that he was the best at what he did. He said if you have issues in your life that you want to overcome then you should do it. He said that's where Scott comes into play.
Jon asked if Benjy is loving this. Sal said he thinks he is. He said that he's keeping people on their feet and people won't know what to expect. He said it would be a train wreck or it could be brilliant. Gary said he thinks that this is the high for Benjy right now. He said the interview is insignificant in his world. Jon said that tomorrow is the day.
Gary said he's been helping Benjy out with getting a copy of the book and things like that. He said that he's going to bend over backward for him with this. He said usually he'd just tell him to just do it. Sal said it was great that he asked to interview Beth's dad for the interview.
Gary said that he is trying to help Benjy out as much as he can. Sal said if it does go bad then he'll look forward to talking more about it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's heard Benjy talking about this over the past few days. He said that he's like an interrogator. He said that Howard is more of a conversation. He said Benjy will just keep at it with something that a person doesn't want to answer. He said he has to sit back and relax a bit. He said he thinks that he'll find someone to blame it on if it doesn't go well.
Gary said it seems like Howard asks a series of questions to get an answer and Benjy will go at it a different way. He said that he'll just keep on it and try to get them to admit that they're not being truthful. Jon said if you're comparing the two interviewing skills it's going to be a short conversation. He said you just don't know what to expect tomorrow. Jon said it seems like Benjy is taking it seriously. Gary wondered if he'll come in dressed in a suit. Jon said he can see that happening. He said he is method. Sal said he thinks he'll come in with a cat in his arms. Gary said that would freak Beth out. He said that she'll be wondering where that cat came from the whole time.
Jon said that Benjy has to figure out how not to have tension in there. Sal said that Beth is a good sport. He said he did an interview with Beth for his audition thing for the Win John's Job thing. He said that if Benjy is smart he will have fun and balance it out with her.
Sal said that the fans are going to want to hear Beth's side of the story with what happens between her and Howard. Gary said he thinks he's right. They had to take a break a short time later.
Jon asked Sal if he likes Joy. Sal said he does. He said she helps out a lot of comedians. He said she has no ego and she's a very good person. He said she's just a nice person. Gary said that she says what she wants and doesn't worry about it. He said that works well on this show.
Jon said when she was a teacher she dealt with a lot of things. He had a clip of her talking about how she got fired for saying ''Who the fuck said f?''
Gary said she was also talking about being the receptionist at Good Morning America and he wonders if he ever spoke to her back in the day. He said he used to call over there all the time trying to get in touch with people who were there.
Jon said that Howard was also talking about his therapy. He said Howard has been doing it for 16 years. Sal said he thinks of them as being like a car mechanic. He said they will always find something wrong with you. He said he's never heard anyone say they're cured. Gary said that was him. He said his doctor told him he was cured.
Sal said he went to therapy and he has asked him to come back but he hasn't gone back. Gary said he will go back for tune ups once in a while. Gary asked Sal why he won't go back. Sal said he got a great deal from his therapist. He said he is a great guy. Sal said he thinks that he does a lot of the talking. He said he likes to get feedback when he's done there. He said he wants to know what to do and he didn't feel he was getting what he needed. Sal said that he was told that his father doesn't love him and that was very heavy. He said that he didn't throw that back in his face. He said he thought about it and he doesn't agree with him on that. Gary said he thinks that his father just loves himself way more than Sal. Sal said he agrees with Gary on that. Sal said the way the therapist put it made it seem like his dad doesn't love him because of the things that he did to him as a child. He said that he doesn't know his dad though. He said the therapist told him his dad doesn't love him but he didn't think that was the case and it was kind of off putting to him.
Jon said he thinks that sort of thing you have to break through with a lot of people. He said some people just don't want to see it. Sal said he did see it and thought about it. He said he thinks that he has a closer relationship with his dad now.
Gary said there is some behavior that just isn't right to do in front of a kid. He said that it just explains why people do things. He said it doesn't make it right but there is an explanation for it.
Sal said every person is different. He said he's used his therapy sessions to mend his relationship with his father. He said it's been about 2 years since he has been at the therapist.
Sal said he's still doing his own thing now and reading books and things. He said that he read Teresa's books and things like that. Gary laughed. Sal said he thinks the book ''The War of Art'' is also great.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she loves the show. She said that she worked on The View a few years ago for a few months. She said she wanted to talk about Joy but also wanted to talk about Sal. She said that Sal always talks about the same few books that he's read. She said that they're clearly books he's read and looked at and it seems like he has a lot of quick fixes for things in his life. She said that it seems like he doesn't want to take time to figure things out.
Gary said it is way easier to discount it than confront it. Jon asked the caller if she thinks that Sal doesn't want to confront it so he's rationalizing it in his own way. The caller said it does seem like he wants some magic potion to cure him. He said that it's a lot of cosmetic stuff and surface stuff but not deep rooted stuff. She said it takes a lot of time and work to do that. She said Howard seems to be able to do that and you can see that he's maturing. Gary wondered if Howard is an outlier and he's done his 10,000 hours there. Jon said maybe he has.
Sal said he doesn't look like a quick fix for everything. He said he did read those books he was talking about. He said he's reading another one right now. Sal said he is making a great effort to change himself. He said that things are great with his wife and with his dad. He said he is working hard at becoming a better person.
Sal said he doesn't agree with the caller but she only hears things that she hears on the show. She said she doesn't know what's going on behind the scenes. Jon and Gary gave the caller, Pamela, a $500 prize and a Nutri-Ninja.
Sal said that his first girlfriend was named Pamela. He said that she would have been much meaner to him though. Sal said that they were drinking and he kept turning her down to dance. He said this other girl came up and asked him to dance and he hopped right up and danced with her. Then Pamela came up to him and punched him in the face. He said he deserved it. They went to break after that.
Sal said he thinks that Howard will do it. He said he thinks Howard loves doing it and it makes him happy. He said at the end of the day Howard gets the job done. He said he has proven to America that he's great at it. Jon said that Howard has done it for 3 years and the ratings are better. He asked why he has to do it again. Sal said he thinks he loves entertaining people and he's doing it on TV. Sal said he would bet money that he's going to do it again.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she's a therapist and she thinks that therapy can be tweaked to what the client needs. She said that if Sal wasn't happy with the way it was going then he could find another therapist that could be better. Jon asked the caller, Rita, if she would help Sal face his fear of his dad not loving him or how would she handle that. Rita said that she thinks that they may help him come up with the realization on his own. She said they could rephrase things with him and help guide him.
Gary said that statement was pretty bold to says to Sal. He asked if she would say that to a client. Rita said she wouldn't do that because that's not her style. She said she might work in another way. She said that maybe she'd say that he didn't know how to love him the way he would have liked. Sal said that's pretty much the way he was putting it toward his therapist. He said the therapist told him point blank that he didn't love him.
Jon asked Sal if he thinks there is anyone on the staff who can't benefit from therapy. Sal said it can only help. He said he thinks that it's great. Sal said that he thinks that he's in a really good place right now and therapy had a lot to do with it.
Jon asked if Rita thinks they could all benefit from therapy. Rita said she thinks everyone can be helped in different ways. Jon said that you can always grow and better yourself. Gary said you can keep going and going. He said when he got toward the end he was wondering what he was going to talk about that day. He said in the beginning he had a lot to talk about.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he has been going to therapy for OCD for over 35 years. Gary asked if he's close to being cured. The guy said no. He said he goes to get the meds. He said he's on all kinds of meds. Jon asked if Sal did it for that. Sal said he didn't really. He said he did take Xanax though. He said that stuff makes him sleepy so he takes it from time to time to get him to sleep. Sal said he took it once before going on stage and he was whacked out. He said he took too much of the stuff. He said you have to be really careful with that stuff.
Jon said that Jon Leiberman is there with his news preview. Leiberman ran down a few stories they had coming up today on Howard 100 News. He got in a plug for Leiberman Live which is on at 4:45. Jon Hein got in some plugs for Sternthology and for the Graham Nash special that's on next Wednesday at 3pm on Howard 101. The guys got in some other plugs and they ended the show around 11:00am.
Howard started the show talking about how busy the show was going to be. He said his wife is stopping by and Benjy will be interviewing her. Howard played a bumper for his upcoming interview. Howard asked if he's all set. Benjy said ''Yeah'' but he didn't sound so sure. Benjy said he has a new respect for Howard. He said he felt what he must go through in some small way.
Howard said Benjy is a therapeutic interviewer and they can't wait to hear that. Robin said that you know how entertaining therapy sessions are. Howard played a song parody about Benjy's interview. Howard said he has been hypnotized for the interview. He said he went to a hypnotist for help. Robin said he does seem to be asleep. Benjy said he almost took a sleeping pill last night. He said he wasn't able to open the door to leave today. He said he put his shoes on before his jeans too.
Howard played a fake hypnosis clip about Benjy and a song parody about him screwing up the interview with Beth.
Howard said Jon Stewart is also coming in today. He said they haven't seen him in a long time. Robin asked if they were going to let Benjy talk to him. Benjy said he actually did interview him once. He said Jon said it was the strangest interview he'd ever done. Howard said he hasn't been back since.
Howard said Beth went to a book signing last night and they ran out of books. Howard said it's nice that a lot of adults are buying the book as a charitable donation. Howard said that she showed up and the response was great. He said that the fans who showed up were fantastic. Howard said the fans are loving the book too. He said she has another signing today but he's not sure about that.
Howard played the clip and Cosby talked about this Spanish Fly stuff. He said he was 13 years old asking people about it. He talked about this stuff and then said that when he was on I Spy they went to Spain and it was like a childhood dream coming true.
Howard said that there weren't any jokes in there. He said he's not sure what is so funny about that. He said he saw him as a kid and he didn't get him at all. He said that bit is creepy but now you hear about what's going on now and you see how he could have been consumed with drugging a girl.
Howard played a bit they did where they had him as The Bachelor. Robin asked if anyone he has mentored become a star. Howard said these girls are claiming they wake up after being given a cocktail and he allegedly did something to them.
JD came in and said that the guys actually call in to request porn clips. He said they're not acting it out. He said that show is called Night Calls. Howard said Sal and Richard should call into these shows. Howard asked JD which show he calls into. JD said he's not calling any. He said he'll just go online and watch. Howard said he thinks the guys think they will get to fuck the girls.
Howard played a clip of one of the girls talking to a caller. The old sounding guy was asking to see her reenact a scene that he had seen of a woman masturbating.
Howard played more of the clip and the old guy was talking about how he had his hand on his penis and he was masturbating. Howard said the whole show is weird because he doesn't want to hear this old fuck talking to anyone. Howard played another clip of a caller requesting a clip he had seen. That guy sounded old too. He said that this woman gets his juices flowing. The guy said he has been calling in for the past few weeks and he finally got in. The host said she's only on for an hour and she can't get to everyone.
Howard said JD is laughing at this guy and web camming isn't that different. JD said that he's not doing it in public. Howard played a song parody about JD jerking off to the web cam girls. JD said he realizes the hypocrisy.
Howard said Hanzi does sound more relaxed today. Hanzi said ''yeah man.'' He said that if they wait for Shuli to come in he can talk about it more. He said that he has some good tape from the event they were at. He said Shuli was up there in BC on Saturday.
Gary said he thinks he has some insight into this. He said that the promoter was going to get someone for Hanzi. Gary said that she may have been paid or something like that. Howard said he sees. Hanzi said he asked Shuli and he denied it but if he didn't pay for it then he lost his virginity.
Howard asked Hanzi what happened. Hanzi said she was there from the day before. He said it was fucking crazy. Howard said that poor girl. Howard said he was reading an interview with a hooker. He said that hookers hate that kissing stuff. Howard said it's great that he got laid. He said he's thinking of the girl's side though. He said she's probably still showering. Howard said that must have been unbelievable for her. Howard said there's no way she wasn't disgusted. Hanzi said he knew they'd be putting this down. Howard said he can't believe he got this girl. Hanzi said Howard is with Beth and no one would have believed that. Howard said Hanzi is as ugly as he is. He said he's in the club. Howard said he has been over the fact that he's not good looking. He said Hanzi is not good looking and he's weird and creepy. Hanzi said ''fuck you man.'' Howard asked why he's mad at him. He said no big deal if the girl was a hooker.
Hanzi said maybe it doesn't count then. Howard said now Hanzi is being a sad sack. Howard asked what happened after sex. Hanzi said that she put her number in his phone. Robin asked if he gets a receptionist when he calls. Hanzi said fuck you to her too. Robin asked if he called her. Hanzi said he's not looking for a relationship.
Howard said Shuli has some tape of the girl after sex. He played a clip of a girl crying but it was the girl who had sex with Jeff the Drunk. Howard said that sounds like a party.
Howard asked Hanzi how he liked the feeling. Hanzi said he had to put a condom on so he didn't feel it. Howard said that's bull. He said he wears one all the time and feels it fine. Hanzi said he left the fan on in his hotel room and it was cold in there. He said he didn't have a great erection.
Howard said Hanzi has a problem if he wasn't fully hard for the first time. Howard said a man can be on ice cubes and get hard. Hanzi said that she did blow him and it got hard doing that. He said she was on top of him when they had sex. Howard asked if he got on top at all. Hanzi said he didn't. He said it does make sense if she was a hooker. He said she dropped him off at the venue and then said she had to go. He said she felt bad dropping him off.
Howard asked if she made a lot of noise. Hanzi said not really. He told Howard about how now that he thinks about it all it seems like it was a hooker. He said that Shuli was being kind of weird about it too. Howard said it doesn't take anything away from his experience. Hanzi said he should have just slit his wrists afterward. Robin said it would have been a perfect life that way. Howard congratulated him on getting laid.
Hanzi asked if he can plug the place they were at. Howard said sure. Hanzi said it's BCPainSociety.com or something like that. Howard asked what he said. Hanzi repeated it. Howard said he should have just left it alone. Hanzi said this was one of the craziest things he's ever seen. Howard said he had to take a break. Hanzi asked if that's really it. Howard said it is. He played his theme song as they went to break.
Howard said he wanted to talk about what went on over in Iraq. Bush asked Howard if he knows where to find Iraq on a map. Howard said he doesn't. Bush said he's trying to find it himself. Howard asked if he made the right decision to invade Iraq. Bush said he thinks he did. He added some hash tags like #IFuckedUp and #ILikeIcecream.
Bush said he turned Iraq into a shithole but he didn't get blown by anyone like a certain President did. Howard asked if he's scared of ISIS. Bush said that he is and he stays in his pillow fort to stay safe.
Howard said he got the feeling he didn't like being president. Bush said that it had its ups and downs. He said that he wishes he had a hallmark card that could apologize for fucking up the country. He said his secret code name was Gary the Retard.
Howard asked Bush about Ebola and Bush said he would nuke the shit out of it if he could. He said that Clinton is friends with Ebola on Facebook.
Howard asked Bush if he's still friends with Dick Cheney. Bush asked if he knows that his daughter eats pussy. He said that he still brings that up when Cheney goofs on his art.
Howard said that people think Bush is a dope. Bush said just wait for his brother Jeb to become president. He said he might invade Alaska. Howard asked bush if it's ever embarrassing to be with the family. Bush said that he doesn't care what people say about him. He said the grand kids call him Grandpa Dipshit and he just lets that roll off his back.
Howard said this has been a fascinating interview. He said he'd suggest that everyone buy his book. Robin said that he has a sense of humor and she never would have sensed that. Howard asked how he thinks Obama is doing. Bush said that Obama isn't even black. He said he was a pretty little blonde girl when he was 5 years old. He said Alex Jones has pictures on his web site.
Howard asked Bush if he wrote the book on a computer. Bush said that he loves using a Squatty Potty. He said he tried to talk to the American Indians with smoke signals. He said some of the words may have gotten jumbled up in there. Bush said that he wants to warn the hackers out there that if they hack into his stuff they'll find pictures of his unshaven ass and balls. He said he used to send them to Collin Powell.
Howard thanked Bush for the call and let him go. You can check out his book that's out now called ''41: A Portrait of My Father.''
Howard said it sounds like they think they're the greatest things ever. Howard said every parent things they're the greatest thing ever but you try to have some decorum so they don't turn out like this. Robin said that people brag that their kids walked at 3 months and things like that. Howard said he has to take a break but he'll read more of that story later. Robin said she knew they should have taken those kids away from them when she saw them on Oprah.
Howard said they asked Willow about her song ''Whip My Hair Back and Forth'' and Willow says that she's glad that she was able to help kids around the world. Howard said he's not sure she did.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said she was at Beth's book signing last night and she was great to all of the fans. She told Benjy to be good to Beth. Howard said he has to get to that next. He said Beth is there. Mariann was going on about how fun it was at the book signing last night. Howard played a bumper for the interview and then went to break.
Howard came back and said that his wife is there. He said that she still hasn't changed her name to Stern but that's what she goes by. Howard said that she looks gorgeous. Beth said she's doing Rachael Ray after this so she got dressed for that. Howard said she looks great. Robin said she thinks she looks great too. Beth said there's a lot of boobie in that dress.
Howard said that Beth is out promoting this book and it's all for charity. Howard said that she had a triumphant book signing last night. Mariann was there. Beth said that Double A was there last night too.
Howard said that Beth needed a photo for the book and he took one of her in a bra. He said that's the one they used. Howard said that he seems to know what he's doing when he takes her picture.
Howard said the book is available now and it's called ''Yoda: The Story of a Cat and His Kittens'' and she'll be signing copies at Books of Wonder on 18th street in New York City tonight. Howard said she's also going to be interviewed by Whitney Cummings today at 2 for an AOL special. Beth said Whitney is her best friend and that's going to be a lot of fun.
Howard said Benjy is going to interview Beth. Benjy was standing and Beth said that people were asking her if she was nervous last night.
Beth said that Benjy looks great. She said he has great eyes and he looks good in the baseball cap. Beth asked what's going on with his relationship. Benjy said that Elisa brought him over last night and got him a balloon and stuff for today. He said that made him feel incredible. Beth was asking Benjy if he's in love with her. Benjy said he loves her and he's in love with her. He said that she wouldn't say the same thing about him. Howard said it's a man's world. Beth said that he's saying that she isn't in love with him. Benjy said in the beginning he was horrible to her. He said he can't imagine anyone being into his appearance. Beth asked why he doesn't do something about it. Benjy said he's a food addict and a sex addict.
Beth asked if he cheated on her. Benjy said he can't imagine cheating. He said he would talk about wanting to fuck other women but he never would. Howard said just imagine if he did that to Beth. Beth asked if she put up with that. Benjy said he eventually stopped. He said that he waned to ask Beth about that with her. He said that Howard talks about masturbation on the air and he wonders if she's cool with tat. Beth said she is. She said if he needs to sleep and needs to release himself then that's fine.
Howard said he's staying out of this for now. He was staying quiet. Benjy said he wanted to ask her about her favorite childhood song. Beth said she doesn't have one. She said that her dad used to sing ''Little Green Fuck-Fuck Birdy'' but that was really for her brother. She said she thinks that her dad was trying to get him to say ''fuck.''
Benjy asked Beth if her father got her Howard's books as a child. She said that she got them for her father and brother because they were big fans. She said she wasn't a listener. He said that they were. Benjy asked when she first became aware of Howard. Beth didn't remember. She said that she did get the book Private Parts for him when it came out. Benjy said it came out in 1993. Benjy said that she must have been like 21 at the time.
Howard asked Robin how this is going. Robin said it was good for a moment. Beth said it was good when she was interviewing Benjy. She asked how the sex was with Elisa. Benjy said it was great for him. He said that he thought that he should tell the woman everything you're feeling at the moment. He said he wanted to share everything with her.
Benjy asked Beth if she fantasizes about anyone else. Beth said she doesn't. She said she only thinks about being with her husband. She said that he may think about other women when he masturbates when she's not home. Benjy asked if they look at sex differently. Beth said that they do.
Beth told Benjy that she cheated on every boyfriend other than Howard. She said that she thinks most of the guys know that. Benjy asked why she was a cheater. She said she was never 100 percent satisfied. She said that they all gave her reason to think that it wasn't the right relationship for her.
Benjy asked if Beth was cheating on someone when she started dating Howard. She said she was dating a few people but she wasn't cheating. Benjy asked when she cheated last. Beth said it was more than 15 years ago. She said she was in her 20s. She said she was sneaky about cheating too.
Benjy asked her about when the last time was that she did it. Beth said she doesn't want to talk about that. She said she's not going to go to that level. Howard said she had good reason to cheat. Howard said good news is that Oprah is on the phone and wants to sign Benjy up to do interviews.
Benjy asked Beth about sex in her 20s and if it was a physical thing or was it about lust. Beth said it was about getting back at a boyfriend who wronged her. She said she was very sneaky about it. Beth said each situation was different. She said she was always in a relationship back then.
Robin said that they've now bored the hole into the center of the earth. Howard took a call from a guy who said this is so boring. Benjy said it's really not. He said he wants to keep going. Robin wanted to say something too but Benjy was yelling at her to shut up.
Howard said he doesn't want to be accused of interrupting. He told Benjy to keep going. He asked Beth how she's doing. Beth said she's fine. She said that Howard looks good. Howard thanked her for that.
Benjy said he really likes the cover of this book. Beth said they really rushed this book. She said it took 3 months from start to finishes. Benjy said that it's a pretty book. Beth said the eyes really look like Yoda's. She said it reminds her of Benjy's eyes.
Benjy asked Beth about when she was with other men and if it was exciting. Beth said it was so long ago. She said sure it was exciting. Benjy asked if she loves or lusts for Howard. Beth said she is so in love with him. She said it's love and there is a sexual aspect to it that enhances the whole thing. She said they do really well in the sex department. She said they connect beautifully. Howard told Benjy not to look at him. Benjy said he keeps expecting Howard to cut him off.
Howard took a call from Bobo who said that Benjy is doing good. He said he's covering some interesting things. Howard said Bobo is a fan. Robin asked if they have to keep asking the same thing over and over.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he's not doing that good of a job. He said he thinks Howard went too far with this. Howard asked if he should end it soon. The caller said he should. Another caller said that he thinks Benjy is trying to justify something that's going on between himself and his girl. Benjy said that maybe subconsciously he is. He said he's not going for that. The caller said that he thinks he does everything very calculated.
Howard asked if he should do more of this. Beth said maybe if they move on to something else. Howard told him to have a conversation. Benjy asked Beth where she and Howard kissed first. Beth said it was outside of Howard's apartment and she smiled so big that he kissed her teeth. She said that she ran down the hallway to get the elevator because she was so embarrassed. She said that Howard came to her apartment the next night and they slow danced. She said they made out to Bell and Sebastian. She said they didn't have sex for two weeks to the day from when they met.
Beth said she thinks that she wanted it more than he did. She said that she thinks that Howard liked that they weren't doing it. Benjy asked how it was the first time. Beth said they were at Dominic's house and they did it in every room on everything. She said they didn't stop.
Benjy said that Howard has said he's not good at oral. Beth said he's fine in that department. She said that he's great.
Benjy asked if she felt it was leading to marriage in the beginning. Beth said she never wanted to get married. Then she met Howard and after a few days she knew he was the guy that she wanted to be with forever.
Benjy asked about going to strip clubs and the thing with John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn. He asked what went on with that. Beth said that they felt safe just being the two of them together. She said they didn't need the strip clubs and all of that. She said it was fun at the time but now it's not about that. She said it's about home and love and nurture and respect.
Howard said that was the Benjy interview. Robin said she's glad it's over. Benjy asked if it's really over. Howard said he's not sure. Beth said Howard cut her off. Howard said Beth wants to plug the book. Benjy said he has a plug for her. He said the picture is so pretty. Beth said you can see some pages online at the book sellers like Amazon and Barnes and Nobel. Howard said that Robin does the audio book too. Beth said that people are going to enjoy Robin reading the book. She said she did the cat sounds and they were going to put in real cat sounds but Robin did it so good that they wanted to use them.
Benjy asked Beth if it's important to her that people know she's the one doing it. Beth said she gets a sense of love from the animals and that's what she wants. She said that she prefers the animals looking at her more than anyone other than her husband. Benjy asked if she enjoys being known as the person who does this. Beth said she feels fortunate that she can do this and encourage other people to do a little something. She said that she feels fortunate.
Benjy asked Beth if she ever wanted children. He said he thinks that she did about 5 years ago. Benjy said he thinks that she'd be very happy if Howard asked to have kids. She said she'd be thrilled. She said that she's fine not having kids too. Benjy asked if she's ever thought she was pregnant. Beth said Howard is very careful so no she hasn't. Benjy said he tried to trick Elisa into getting pregnant. He said he got her off of birth control.
Howard said that Jerry O'Connell is on the phone. Jerry was on and said that Benjy is doing great. Jerry told Benjy to relax. He said that he has to ask the questions that pertain to Howard. Benjy shushed Jerry. Jerry said that he has to ask the questions that Howard is uncomfortable asking. He said that he has to do that and everything will work out.
Benjy asked how far things went with Rebecca and John Stamos. Howard asked how he would know that, he wasn't there. Benjy said that's his wife now. Howard and Beth both said that it didn't go anywhere.
Gary came in and said he hates to interrupt this. Benjy cut him off and said he has one more. Benjy said Howard used to bash this one actress on the air and he thought that maybe she dated her ex-boyfriend.
Howard cut Benjy off and Gary said that he has special guest there. He said that it's one of Beth's friends. It was Rachael Ray. Howard asked what brings her in. Howard said thank god for her. Beth said she saved her day. Rachael said that Benjy is doing a great job. Rachael said she wanted to help and celebrate Beth's big day. Howard said she looks cute in her little cap. Howard said she has such a cute thing going on.
Rachael said that Beth is on her show today. She said that they may have Yoda on with her. Beth said that she might bring him. Howard said he had to clean Yoda's shit up the other day when it got stuck in his fur. Howard said that the cat hated him after that. Beth said his butt hasn't been cleaner.
Howard asked Rachael what's going on. Rachael said she is there for Beth's book but she stated a pet food line years ago and all of the dog food is made there in America. She said that they raised about $6.5 million with the dog food for rescue. She said they've been working on cat food for a long time. She said they have a dry food and it's great quality. Beth said that she sampled it herself. Rachael said they actually did that. Rachael said that they decided to dedicate the first 6 months of sales to North Shore and Bianca's Furry Friends. She said she was hoping that they would break 6 figures. She said they not only did that but came in way over 6 figures. She said they rounded it up and she's going to present Yoda and Beth with a giant check for $500,000. Howard said ''Oh my god!'' Beth did the same. She said she had no idea. Howard asked if that's half a million dollars. He said he wasn't sure. Robin said it is. Howard said that's amazing.
Rachael said that North Shore does such a great job with dog rescue that they wanted to help. Howard asked if that's American dollars. She said it is. Howard said he was afraid it was ISIS dollars. Howard said this is so great that she's helping and this addition is going to be built thanks to people like her and Billy Joel. Beth said she's the best.
Howard asked if she still likes doing her show. Rachael said she does. She said they've done 1500 shows. Howard asked how long she's been doing it. She said it's their 9th season. Howard asked Rachael about going from cooking classes to this. Rachael said that she was doing a 30 Minute Meals thing. Howard asked what he can make in 30 minutes. Rachael said they can do anything with fish in 30 minutes.
Howard asked what she did next. She said she was on a TV show and then she wrote a book and that sold very well. She said that she got on the Today Show and she went on there and did some cooking. She said that all of the guests canceled one day and they asked her to come over to do the show. She said she hung up when she got on the phone because she was so scared. Howard said she was passionate about it and she got on the air though.
Rachael said that she got mugged living in the city and she moved to the country. She said that she had pepper spray and she chased him away. Rachael said the guy came back and beat her up a couple days later. She said that's when she moved out of New York and out into the country. Rachael said the cops never found the guy. Rachael said that the kid probably came back because he was angry about her spraying her with the pepper spray.
Howard said Rachael moved to upstate New York and she got a job in a store and Al Roker was from the same town and that's how he found out about her. Robin said she had to leave to make her dream come true. Howard asked how she got with Oprah. Rachael said she was on Food Network for years and then she got in touch with Oprah. She said that she's not a proper chef so she didn't think she belonged there. Rachael said that they asked her to do a pilot for 30 Minute Meals and she set fire to Emeril's set accidentally. She said that she let the oil heat up too long. She never thought she'd be doing what she's doing.
Howard said it's a miracle that she's doing what she's doing. Howard asked Rachael about doing the show on Food Network and then Oprah finds out about her. Rachael said Oprah told her 'You've got 'it'' and she didn't even know what that meant. She said that she went to the Oprah show and they made her up. She said that she walked out onto the set with these ringlets in her hair. She said she was wearing a poofy skirt and Oprah was wearing jeans.
Howard asked if Martha Stewart is jealous of her. Rachael said she doesn't think she is. She said she's not a fan because she can't really learn anything from her. She said that she has been polite to her though.
Howard said that he's very thankful to her for doing this for their charity. Howard said she took the profits from her Nutrish food and put them into this charity. Howard said he's not sure if there is a heaven but if there is she will go there. Howard said he'll be in hell though.
Howard asked Rachael if she will pepper spray Benjy for him. Rachael said Beth did a great job interviewing Benjy. Howard gave Rachael some plugs for her TV show and a special she's doing. Howard said you can find out more at RachaelRay.com
Howard said Beth wrote this book and it's such a great story. He said that he thinks children will love the story. Howard said he gets choked up just thinking about this. Howard said he congratulates her on the book. Beth said she's so proud. Beth said that love and purpose healed his heart. Robin said that they didn't even talk about the picture on the back that's beautiful. Howard said it's a family photo. Howard said kids can gaze into his eyes on the back of the book. Howard gave Beth a few plugs too.
Howard said that Benjy did a good job. Benjy said he thinks that he did amazing. He thanked Howard for letting him do that. Howard asked if he had one more question for her. Benjy said that his first experience in radio was in Pittsburgh. He started to sing the jingle for the station he was on but Howard cut him off and ended the segment. They went to break father that. As they went to break they played a Jerky Boys prank call.
Howard came back and said that Jon Stewart is there and he's very excited about that. Howard said Jon directed a movie called Rosewater that's coming out this week. Howard said it was great to see Jon. Jon said it's great to see him too. Robin said that the last time they saw him in a white Naval outfit slow dancing with Fred. Jon said people always ask him if he remembers that dance. He said he's like ''No, I don't remember that.''
Howard asked if it's true they shot some of this movie in Iran. Jon said they shot it in Jordan, not in Iran. He said they were about 40 miles from the Syria border where they were having problems though. Howard asked if he brought security. Jon said he's not famous to them. Howard said that he could have been kidnapped or killed. Jon said he thinks about that now. He said he felt comfortable there at the time. He said they had a Jordanian crew there and it wasn't crazy and unstable. Jon said he's no hero. He said he tries to stay away from that stuff.
Jon said that there was a bombing about 15 years ago at the hotel they were staying at. He said you can't drive right up to the hotel. He said they would search you when you came in and he felt comfortable about that. Howard asked how long he was there. Jon said he was there for 10 weeks. Howard said he didn't want to direct the movie at first. Jon said this guy worked for the BBC and he went to cover the elections in Iran and he was held for 118 days in prison over there. Howard said he reads about these guys who are arrested and held for no good reason. Howard said that it's just a journalist. Howard said that makes you realize how fucked up it is around the world.
Jon said this stuff is going on in a lot of places. He said all of these big journalism places have cut back. He said they're all freelance. He said there's crazy footage in the movie of an attack on a police force. He said this guy is climbing up a fence and he just gets shot and killed. He said that's the footage that Maziar shot that got him arrested.
Howard asked Jon if he went and directed this movie because he wasn't able to get things done fast enough. Jon said that they were trying to get the project going and he just wrote it and directed it. Jon said it was about 12-14 months of that. He said they just weren't able to get it done if he hadn't done it.
Howard said Jon left The Daily Show to go make the movie. Howard asked if they looked at him like he was nuts because they were on such a roll. Jon said they did. He said he knew John Oliver was the best. He said he has a whole team there at The Daily Show. He said he knew John wouldn't miss a beat. He said that they were nervous because that's their job though.
Howard said that his show is like a farm team for comedy. He said it's almost like Lorne Michaels. He said they have Colbert, Carell who was just on the show. Howard said he didn't know it was Carell. Jon said he told him that when he was on his show. He said he told him there was some crazy, scary guy but it wasn't Carell. Jon ran down a list of some other people who have been on the show and are big stars now too.
Howard said he heard that it bothers Jon that he puts together these great people and Comedy Central doesn't make deals to hold on to these people. Howard said that they could be part of Jon's show and what he's putting together there. Jon said it's different. He said he's not sure what else they can do for them. He said John Oliver was so good that he knew he couldn't go back. He said once he had the ring he couldn't go back to being a hobbit.
Howard asked why he doesn't produce shows for them. Jon said he can't do that. He said then they feel like they're beholden to you for no good reason. Jon said that it's like the vig and he'd be getting 20 percent from them for the rest of their life. Jon said he wants to get to have their ability for a while and then someone else will come and get them at some point. Howard said Oprah seems to take a piece of all of these shows that she's a part of. Jon said that may not be contractual though. He said he still works with Stephen Colbert. He said that he doesn't want them to feel beholden to him. He said they have a process on the show.
Howard asked Jon how they find these people. Jon said that they have auditions. He said the thing about Carell was that he finds moments in scripts that you didn't realize where there. He said that he's bringing a moment to it that you don't see. He said if a guy can elevate what you've written then you hire them.
Howard asked Jon how he directed if he's never directed before. Jon said he told them early on that he didn't know what he didn't know. He said that he had to tell them that they had to tell him when he was doing something wrong. Howard asked if he had a learning curve. Jon said he did but there's still a script and there's a narrative there. Jon said he brought a few people from his crew with him and the rest were from Jordan.
Howard asked Jon if they asked him to take over Letterman's spot. Howard said he thought that he wanted to get into late night. Jon said they didn't ask him. He said he thinks they know better. Howard asked if he's burning out on The Daily Show. Jon said he is a little bit. Howard asked if he's there 50 percent. Jon said it's cyclical. Howard asked what he wants to do if he retires. Jon said it's hard to say. Jon said he has to look at it like he has young kids and they won't like him much longer. He said he wonders how much longer he can come home at 9 at night. He said that the days are 12 hour days.
Howard asked if he's jealous of Oliver for doing a one show a week thing. Jon did an impression of John and wondered why he sounded like a street urchin. He said he's going to kill him for doing that impression.
Howard said that Jon doesn't think that President Bush sitting home and painting is right. Howard said that he doesn't really want to do anything else. He said it makes you wonder why he was President. Jon said he thinks they'd be better off if he had just become a painter.
Howard said that he likes this feud that Jon and Bill O'Reilly have. He said that they are on each other's shows and they have fun with each other. Jon said that he doesn't hate Bill. Howard said he respects that he has a different opinion than him. Jon said people ask why he has him on. He said that he goes home at Thanksgiving and he has family that make Bill look like a gay Ralph Nader because they're so right wing. He said he can get along with Bill on his show. They just see things differently.
Howard asked if he hates Sean Hannity. Jon said he doesn't hate him but he thinks that he is disingenuous. Howard said he thinks about Rush Limbaugh and he wonders why he has to be down the line party specific. Jon said that he thinks that O'Reilly is like a Kennedy Democrat in a way. He said he can see him voting in that direction. Howard asked Jon if he has ever voted for a republican. Jon said he has. He said in general though it's a narrow field of what you can get.
Howard asked Jon about taking The Daily Show he wasn't looking to be a political guy. Jon said that Howard told him he was going to be off the air in 6 weeks. Howard said he was just playing a part too. Jon said that people always think that you have a conscious career path. He said he's just trying to stay afloat. Howard said Jon wasn't a political animal in his stand up act. Jon said it was all social commentary. He said it was politics and other things.
Howard asked Jon if he thought it would last. Jon said he felt very comfortable doing it but he had to convince other people there that was the case. Howard said the show is really big. Jon said that they came in around the 2000 election and there was so much going on. He said it was a particular time in history that worked in a way that no one thought it could.
Howard asked Jon about the hours working. Jon said he's probably there from 9am to 7:30pm. He said that they have to get in and have the writer's meeting and all of that. He said that if you don't do that they can't have clarity. He said if you can't give it all the attention it deserves then someone else can do it better.
Howard asked how many Emmys he's won. Jon said he built a fort out of them. Jon said that coming there i such a different experience. He said it used to be two porn stars and now it's Beth and Rachael Ray talking about cats. Jon said it's great. Howard said they did talk to Wendy the Retard about being raped by Bill Cosby yesterday. Jon said he's glad that he can still go old school.
Jon said that he always thought that Howard was getting bored and he wanted to change how things were going. He said it seems like that has changed. Howard said the FCC used to be up his ass and now that's not happening. Howard said that it was a lot of pressure on him back when he was on terrestrial radio. He said that the FCC would stop Infinity from buying stations to force them to pay fines. Howard said it was fucking with his head and it became too big a responsibility.
Jon asked if raising kids was a factor in that. He said his kids are grown now and that may take some pressure off of him. Howard said the greatest pressure he felt was when his first kid was born and NBC fired him. He said that he got the other job and he had to go out and make a living and fuck that town up. He said he had to be number one to support those kids. Howard said that pressure to raise a family made him think his head was going to burst.
Jon said that Howard was set financially and in the career. He asked if he had the tension of not seeing the kids when he would get home and stuff. Howard said he would run home after the show to be with the kids. He said he hoped that it was appreciated that he was making money. Howard said he never had a man in his life to tell him how to do that stuff. He said everything he learned was all fucked up. He said his dad told him to just go out and make money and that's all he had to do. Howard said he didn't know how to juggle all of that stuff.
Robin asked Jon how old his kids are. Jon said they're 10 and 8. He said that he got to see his son in July and he went to see them in Europe. Jon said that it's always a pressure on him. He said that his wife will send a text and he sees how great it is to have kids.
Howard asked where he keeps his Emmys. Jon said he keeps them in a box. Howard asked if it's gloating too much to put them on display. Jon said they probably deserve to be put up somewhere. He said at a certain point it's not like you believe that they're the greatest show this year. He said that it's great to go out and get something flying out to California. He said that they've been very fortunate to be rewarded that. He said that he can't sit in a room looking at that stuff. Howard said Larry King does that. Jon said that's old school. He said that's what show business was all about back then.
Jon said that he used to go to Alan King's office and he used to tell him stories about the old days. He said that it was all show biz and that was their life. Howard said he would think that people would expect Jon to display his awards. Jon said he's not anti-awards. He said he takes pride in them. Howard said he can display them in his studio. He said he'd proudly tell people they were Jon's. Jon said maybe he'll do that. Jon said that there is something about that that's too savoring. He said he is a Jew and he isn't there to enjoy something. Howard said he's so right about that. Howard said maybe 100 years form now he can go back.
Howard said that people will tell him he did such a good job on a show and he hates that. He said he's not sure if he can pull it off again.
Howard asked if he thought twice about hosting the Oscars. Jon said not at all. Howard asked if he would do it again. Jon said he did it twice and he might do it again but he's not sure they would. He said the problem with having him do it is that people like Dave and Chris Rock they like to be observers. He said that they are there to shit on people and not just treat them nicely. Howard said he gets that. He said he likes to see Chris Rock goof on people but then he gets uncomfortable. Howard said if you're going in and shitting on them then it's the wrong move.
Howard said it must be tough to get a negative review for the Oscars. Jon said it can throw you but not for that long. He said it's not one of those things that he does all the time. Jon said one of the biggest lessons of being a comic is panicking. He said that you learn how to steer into the bomb. He said it validates you in a way. He said that it's about becoming a better comic. He said there's something about getting the shit kicked out of you the next day that's strangely validating. He said it's weird but that's what it does. Howard said that is weird. Jon said the worst thing is mixed reviews. He said everyone has access now too. He said people can all comment. He said on Twitter even if everyone is rolling your way there is another universe that has to say ''fuck this guy.'' He said he doesn't even have a Twitter. He said if he did he'd think he had to start the show and do something for them.
Jon said that he thinks that some interviews can bring you to such heights and you can't get there again. He said that things are like that in your life and you keep feeling like you have to hit higher and higher things to sustain those levels.
Howard asked if he feels pressure when President Obama comes on the show. Jon said of course he does. He said that he thinks that things can get in your head and they affect he way you do an interview.
Howard asked why Politicians are so terrible at interviews. Jon said they're always on guard. He said they are disingenuous. He said they will make very strident statements in their books and then they'll come on the show and they will say they didn't mean it the way they wrote it. He said they'll turn it around.
Jon said they had Harry Reid on the show and it was obvious that he hadn't read his own book. He said he was surprised by the things he brought up that were in the book.
Howard asked if they ever get complaints about interviews they do. Jon said that happens. He said that they got a call from Steve Jobs once. He said someone got a prototype of an iPhone and they did a report on that called ''Appholes'' and the next day they got a call from Steve Jobs. Howard asked if they felt threatened by that. Jon said it always happens after the segment airs so they never feel threatened. Howard asked how long they were on the phone with Jobs. Jon said it was the worst because he had met Steve and they were friendly. He said that Steve thought that he would have called him first. He said that he didn't even know that he could call him. He said it wasn't threatening but they do get those too.
Howard asked Jon about being friends with Anthony Weiner. Jon said he met him at a beach house with some friends. He said they were friendly after college for a while. Howard said he has to have fun with a story like that and he can't just back away from that. Jon said he knew that he wasn't a nice guy. He said they would argue like crazy when they would hang out. He said they would argue over just about anything. Jon said that he'd argue over cole slaw.
Howard asked how nervous Jon is about this movie. Jon said that he put a lot of work into this movie. He said he thinks at this point it's released a little bit and he's not worrying so much. He said the reviews are coming out and he read a couple that were horrible and then there were some that had some good points in them. He said then some are really nice. He said he's been doing this a long time so he doesn't know.
Howard said that he's made enough money and maybe it's time to end it. Jon said now it's turning into an intervention. Howard said that he wonders why he keeps doing it. Jon said this all started with him at the Bitter End and people telling him that he sucked.
Howard asked Jon how long he sucked. Jon said he stared at the Comedy Cellar and he was bar tending at a Mexican restaurant. He said his big get was getting some nachos at the end of the night. He said he started hanging out at the Cellar and he'd go up and do his thing. He said he'd be the last guy at the end of the night. He said that's how he got to be good. Jon said that's how you learn to be yourself. Howard asked if he ever thought about getting a regular job. Jon said he knew that was going to be his life but he wasn't sure if it was going to be pleasant or not.
Howard asked how bad the bombing was. Jon said that it wasn't crickets. He said he was doing comedy for 10 years and then Radio City reopened. He said they asked him to be a part of it. Jon said it was a huge night. He said Billy Crystal and a bunch of other people were going to be there. Jon said he went up there and he was impressed that 6,000 people could, in unison, could not laugh. He said you'd think that 2 people in the audience would think about something else and laugh. He said as a group they stayed silent and that was impressive to him. He said he kept it going until he got the light. He said you just ride that bull and never get off.
Jon said he finished his set and he was walking off thinking about how bad that was. He said he turned and Shirley Jones was there. He said that she was shaking her head at him. Then she opened her arms and hugged him. He said that's how bad it was.
Howard asked if anyone ever told him not to keep going. Jon said it wasn't like that. He said he came up with guys like Louis C.K., Colin Quinn, Nick Di Paolo and guys like that. He said they were all so great. Jon said that making a living in the business is a miracle. He said that's the way he looked at it. He said that he thought if he worked hard and stayed sane he'd be okay. He said if he could stay away from the drugs and things like that he'd be okay.
Howard asked Jon about the Rosewater script and if he sent it to someone to find out if it was a viable script. Jon said he did. He said that he sent it to a producer and to some other people like Ron Howard. He said he'd go back to the room like a dick and ask him to read the script. Howard asked if he hoped he would direct it. Jon said he knew it was going to be a small movie and there was no chance of that. Howard asked if Ron Howard was happy to read that. Jon said he wanted a sense of the viability of it. Howard asked if anyone didn't call him back. He said Ron Howard is such a nice guy. He said that he's truly a nice guy. He said he's down to earth and such a decent guy. He said that you get that sense when he comes in.
Howard asked if Jon is happy with his wife and kids and all of that. Jon said he is. Howard asked if he will direct another movie. Jon said he does like bossing people around. Howard said that Carell was telling him that it was odd seeing him out at Telluride and both of them are doing movie promotion. Jon said that there are some comedic things in that movie Carell is in. He said there are some in his movie too.
Howard asked Jon if he would want to write a comedy. Jon said he would like to do something like that. Jon told Howard about this movie Rosewater and how fucked up it was when Maziar Bahari was arrested. He told Howard some of the stuff that happened to him in jail and how fucked up it was.
Jon said there is a whole other part of Iran that they don't know about. He said they are open to the world and this is really a small regime.
Howard asked Jon what he thinks about this ISIS thing. Jon said that we started this thing and we destabilized that region so we can't just walk away. Jon said that he thinks that Putin is the guy they have to watch. He said he thinks he's lost it. Jon said he has a whole thing going on. Howard said he wants to take over the world. Jon said you rarely see a dictator who shows his nipples. Howard said this kid over in Korea scares him. He said he reminds him of the kid in The Twilight Zone who had control over his toys. Jon said he gets the feeling that if they just told him that he could have sex with a super model that he'd stop a war for that.
Howard said that he knows Jon spends a lot of time goofing on FOX News but he thinks the women on there are so hot. Jon said they really do know how to produce TV over there. He said he admires it in the way that you have to give it to Lex Luthor at times. He said that he can be a genius at times. Howard said he likes this kid Greg Gutfield. Jon said he thinks that O'Reilly is great. He said that it's very good TV when he and Geraldo are going at one another. Jon said that the beauty of FOX News is that everything is asked as a question. Jon said that they ask if Liberals are destroying the country and then they comment on it.
Howard gave Jon some plugs for Rosewater. He said that the movie is scary. Jon said it's hopeful too. Jon said he believes that technology makes it much more difficult for dictators to keep up. He said that it ends on that in the movie. He said it's sort of a hopeful note. Jon said once people start connecting it will be a liberating thing and not a confining thing.
Howard asked Jon if he's going to re-sign next time his contract is up. Jon said that he's not sure. He said that he's at a level where he can't say that they have to make it worth his while. He said they've been good to him. He said that he wonders if he wants to not be on TV for a while. He said that he has to think about that and figure it out. Robin asked if he fears that he wouldn't be able to come back. Jon said he doesn't have that fear. He said he could go back to doing stand up. He said he loves that. Jon said years ago he got canceled and getting on Letterman was the big thing. He said he did Letterman and he felt it went well. He said he got home and there were cockroaches all over and it was just him and his cat. Jon said that he got his own show and it got canceled. He said he thought that was it for him. Jon said he woke up the next day and then realized his life wasn't over. He said that for some reason he was chilled out knowing that the theory of one guy can make you and one show can break you isn't true.
Howard said that Seinfeld did things right. He said he's still making money and the shows live on and they get better with age. Jon said that people tell you that you can't leave but then they forget about you the next day when they find something different.
Howard gave Jon some more plugs for Rosewater which is in theaters now. Howard said this is Jon's directorial debut. Robin asked if he had distribution before he made it. Jon said you have to make it and then get that. He said he wants Robin to go see it.
Howard said he went on Jon's show a while back and that was a nice experience. Howard said the writers didn't seem to like him. Jon said he has to get out of his own head. He said they love Howard over there. Howard told everyone go to see this movie. He said Jon spent all this time on the movie. Howard said he loves Homeland and he wants to see this movie. Jon said that this was more about isolation than torture. Jon said the guy did nothing and he was locked up for that. Howard said he's proud of him. He gave him more plugs and went to break a short time later. As they went to break they played a Ronnie Mund Thanksgiving sex tip and a Nicki Minaj Dance Party commercial parody.
Howard said he thinks that Benjy did a good job today. Benjy said he felt so fucking good doing it. Howard said the hypnosis must have paid off. Benjy said he thinks that he should be interviewing people. Robin said he has said that he loves to make people laugh though. Benjy said he does.
Howard said a woman has come out in a press conference and she claims that she was not raped by Bill Cosby. Robin said she wasn't when she was in an elevator with him.
Robin started her news with a story about the interview Howard was talking about with Willow and Jaden Smith earlier. Robin said that they had some odd answers to the questions they were asked in the article. Robin read some of the odd things that they were talking about in their interview.
Howard said the guys from AC/DC are going to be premiering their album tonight at a special event that their own Gary Dell'Abate is going to be hosting. Howard did his impression of Gary introducing the band.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he was at Beth's book signing last night. He said she's a class act. He asked Howard about the money going into the charity and if he feels guilty about paying for Bianca. Howard said he doesn't like that people pay for pets. Howard said they weren't involved in rescue back then. Howard said he had never gone to a shelter before for a dog. He said he had gotten cats but not dogs. Howard said he wanted the bulldog and then he got it and he realized that the breed suffers a lot. Howard said then he learned about shelter animals. He said he encourages people not to buy pets but go to a shelter. Robin asked about people who want pure bred animals. Howard said you can get them at a shelter. Howard said this Yoda was a pure bred. Howard said he was a mess because he can't take care of himself because he's man made. Robin said they have trouble cleaning and breathing. Howard said his experience with Bianca was fantastic but he would never buy another dog. He'd go to a shelter and get one. Howard said everything is an evolution. He said you start to learn about these things. He said Rachael Ray giving money to the charity is so beautiful. He said he sees how the pets live in shelters and this is going to make it great.
Robin read a story about a dog fighting ring that was busted and she thinks it was in Ohio. Robin said that people were coming from California to fight. Robin said it's very strange that people take their pets to do things like that.
Robin read a story about Charles Manson being in prison since 1969 and he's not eligible for parole until 2023. Robin said he's 80 now and he's engaged to a 26 year old. Robin said that he won't have conjugal visits. Robin said he does get visitor's day visits though. Robin said she's not sure if he can get any action from that. Robin read about how this woman moved to be closer to him when she was 16 or 17. Robin said she wants to marry him so she can have access to files that only family members can get to. Robin said they say that it's taken so long to do this because he still acts up in prison. Robin said he was charged with having a weapon and threatening the staff. Robin said he also refused to give a urine sample. Robin said this is an 80 year old man. Howard said the guy is feisty.
Howard said that Joy Behar got great feedback on the show yesterday. He read some of the email they got about her interview. Howard said some people disagreed with him on the Bruce Springsteen song he picked as his best. Howard said he liked The Rising and Jon Stewart agreed with him on that. Howard said this guy says that the song ''For You'' is the best. Howard said he had some people agreeing with him about the band Royal Blood and how great they are. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about another person coming forward to accuse Bill Cosby of molesting her as a young girl. Robin said she is speaking out now. Robin said that Cosby isn't talking about this issue. Robin said he would only shake his head on NPR when he was asked about it. Robin had some audio of this woman talking about what happened to her. The woman was talking about the things Cosby allegedly did to her when she was younger. Howard said that's the movie he wants to direct. He wondered who he could get to play Cosby. Robin suggested Denzel Washington. Howard said he has to get the rights to that movie. He said he's not sure who to even get them from.
Howard played a prank call Sal and Richard made to a turkey farm asking about how to cook a live turkey. The woman on the phone said it would rip the house apart they had to get it out of there. They pretended to shoot it so the woman suggested they call animal control.
Robin read about how Slash was over in Ireland and they left him a six pack of Guinness in his dressing room but he is sober and doesn't drink anymore. Robin said Slash said that it was left for his whole entourage and not just for him so it wasn't a big deal. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how Sinead O'Connor is upset with U2 for cramming their album into people's iTunes accounts. Robin said that other people are upset about it as well. She mentioned that Taylor Hawkins from the Foo Fighters was one of them. Howard said when the Foo Fighters are in there he has to ask Taylor Hawkins about that.
Howard took a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Robert Plant impression. Howard said his poor parents have to hear all of this. Howard was laughing at the impressions and the weird noises that Sour was making. Howard said it sounds like a house of horrors. Howard said this is one of his favorite songs right there. Sour stopped playing and Howard said this is some treat. He said it's like a rape. Howard tried to talk to him but Sour did a Crazy Alice impression when he asked him a question.
Howard played a clip of Sinead O'Connor talking about the U2 album thing. Howard said she sounds dead inside. Howard wondered what's wrong with her. He said she doesn't sound like fun at all. He said he can't even do an impression of her. He tried it though. Howard said even Willow Smith called in and said that Sinead is weird.
Howard said Johnny Depp was at the Hollywood Film Institute Awards and they're accusing him of being drunk. Howard said he thought it was kind of fun. Howard played a clip of Depp going up and making a comment about how the microphone was the weirdest one he's ever seen. Robin said he's taking on that Keith Richards character. Howard said he might be taking on that Captain Jack Sparrow character. He said he might have to be buried as that character. Howard let the clip play and said he feels like he's back on the Dean Martin hour. Depp was slurring his words and sounding like he was wasted. Howard said that he feels like he has to do an intervention to stop him from living the Captain Jack Sparrow life. Howard said after that intervention he has to go talk to Daniel Day Lewis.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she knows Benjy will take offense but she learned nothing from his interview. Howard said they learned Beth cheated on her boyfriends. Mariann said that she thinks Beth had some of Howard's technique and she should interview Benjy and Elisa next. Benjy said he didn't do it perfect but he wants to keep doing it. He said he'll take critique. Mariann said that he didn't get into anything that they wanted to know about. Robin said Benjy just had to ask more about the cheating thing over and over. Benjy said he thinks that Robin was upset that things were going so well. Howard said he almost asked Robin to leave after that interview. Benjy said he thinks that Robin gets emotional after something like that. He said that he's like an interloper. Howard said he thinks he's projecting a lot of shit on them. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about how Nicki Minaj's social security number was given out and people have ruined her credit score using it to get credit cards.
Robin read about how Dr. Phil is questioning Honey BooBoo's mom over her questionable dating of a convicted child molester. Robin had some audio of that interview.
Robin read a story about the wedding of Solange Knowles over the weekend. Robin said she noticed that she had a choreographed dance she did with her husband. She said that she was wondering if that's a new thing that people are doing in weddings. Howard said he had a buddy who had to take dance lessons because the whole family was going to dance.
Robin read a story about how a doctor died from Ebola recently. Robin had some audio of some people commenting on that. Howard said he could never be a doctor. He said they're very caring people and what would we do without them? Robin said that this doctor was in really bad shape by the time he got to the hospital. Howard said he would do exams from a distance. Howard got on his megaphone and let Robin know what that would sound like. He said he's a big coward and he's very selfish. Robin said that's a shame. Robin said he has so much to give. Howard said he would be a horrible doctor. Howard was doing a breast exam from a distance. He was moaning and making a jerking off sound as he was doing that. Howard messed around with that for a couple of minutes. He eventually finished on her breasts and told her that was lotion.
Robin read a story about John Kerry talking about an attack at a Synagogue in Jerusalem. Howard was going to play a clip but he played the wrong one. Robin read the story about how this karate instructor who touched his students in inappropriate ways. He claims he did it in a joking way. Robin said he faces a dozen felony charges over that. Robin had some audio from the courtroom from that case.
Robin got back to the John Kerry story and had Howard play audio from that. They had audio of Kerry talking about what happened there.
Robin read a story about the weather that's hitting the country. Robin said that there are going to be some very cold temperatures east of the Great Lakes. Robin had some audio of a meteorologist talking about that.
Robin read a story about Michelle Bachman saying that she thinks the Affordable Care Act will be repealed. Robin had some audio of her talking about that. Howard said he hates that he finds her attractive. He said he would bang her if he wasn't in a happy marriage. Robin said she had a friend who didn't have health care and she waited so long to get help that she almost died. Robin said her life will never be the same because of that waiting. Robin said she was afraid of the bills.
Robin read a story about how scientists want to bring back the Wooly Mammoth by cloning one. Howard said he's not sure why they want to bring them back if they prayed upon us. Howard said he'd like some say in this. Robin said they found a carcass in Siberia last year and they think they can clone it. Robin had some audio of a scientist talking about that. Howard said we should have a vote on this. Robin said she agrees.
Robin read a story about Dancing with the Stars and how Tommy Chong has lasted right up until last night. Robin said that he was eliminated on the show last night. Robin had some audio of Tommy saying goodbye on the show and saying that old stoners can perform when they need to. Robin said Tommy is 76 years old. Robin said Alfonso Ribero is on the show too. Howard said he loves that they can hardly get anyone to do that show. He said you ask ''Who the fuck is that?'' when you hear Alfonso Ribero. Robin had some audio of Alfonso crying on the show last night. Robin had to explain to Howard who he played on Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
Howard said that they put a Baba Booey in the new Annie remake. Howard had the clip and Jamie Foxx was being interviewed in a scene and someone yells out Baba Booey during the interview. Howard said that's part of the movie. Robin said that's cute. Robin had some audio of Sia and Beck doing a song for the movie.
Robin had some audio of Matthew McConaughey singing about getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Robin had audio of some people who covered Beatles songs. Howard said he loved Bowie covering Across the Universe. Howard said that Bowie called Lennon and asked to do a cover of the song. He said he thinks Bowie doesn't like the take either. Howard said he loves it though. Robin had some audio of that song for Howard to play. Robin had some other covers of Beatles songs that she had Howard play. Howard played Beetlejuice singing his song and also Gary's ''Hello, hello'' clips in a Beatles song. Howard said the best cover was Fred Armisen singing ''Blackbird.'' Howard played that too. Robin had a bunch of others that she went through. Howard liked a Fiona Apple cover that he told Gary to remind him to download later. Howard played some song parodies that people have sent in about Robin to the tune of Beatles songs.
Robin read about how YouTube is going to be streaming music starting this week. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin finished up after that. Howard ended the show around 10:25am.
Gary said that retirement doesn't seem like something Jon would do but he thinks Howard could. He said that Howard will be a week short of his 62nd birthday when his contract is up. Gary said that Howard has done everything he wanted to do and people will wonder why he'd want to keep going. Jon said it's hard to walk away from something you've built. Gary said Jon was talking about that a little bit.
Gary said that Jon could walk away and come back and do another TV show some day. He said he thinks about Lucille Ball doing more TV shows. He said that he doesn't know who has been able to come back. He said that Jay Leno is one of those guys who floats around looking for something else to do. Jon said he has a show on MSNBC. Jon said that Jon was saying that Seinfeld is a good example of a show that goes on. He said he thinks that's what will happen with Jon and Howard. He said someone can pick up that mantle. He said that Jon will be able to do stand up whenever he wants like Seinfeld can.
Gary said he thinks that David Letterman is going to do the Johnny Carson thing. He said he'll go away and only come out a couple of times for very special events. He said you can't just get Dave to do anything.
Jon said that Jon was talking about how he had to go balls out with the show when he had kids. He said when kids come into the mix then it motivates you in a way you weren't motivated before. Gary said that he thinks about all of the extra appearances he did when he had his kids. He said he was saving up for college. He said now he's saving up for when he's not working anymore. Gary said you have to think about saving up a lot because you don't know how long you're going to live.
Gary said Jon hadn't been there since 2008 but you wouldn't know it once he sat down. Jon said he likes it when people come in and talk to Howard the way he does. He said that they both have respect for one another. Gary said he remembers when Jon was on the first time. He said he and Howard hit it off right away. Gary said that Howard knew that Jon had something and he said it to him as he was leaving after that first time.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he doesn't like hearing Howard making fun of Bill Cosby. He said he's been a fan of his for a long time. Gary said that he used to like Cosby too but then he stopped being funny. He said he started passing judgment on people and telling them they weren't funny. He said he started to dislike him because of that. He said he thinks the allegations against him suck. Jon said he liked the Cosby Show. He said he never liked him lecturing other comedians though. He said he wondered who he is to tell people what to do.
Jon said he thinks that Cosby became this doctor and a lovable dad on TV. He said that it makes it more painful if it's actually true. Jon said that this could change people's views on him if it's true. Gary said that everyone is talking about him now. He said it's not just them. They went to break a short time later.
Jon said he thought Benjy was nervous but Beth wasn't at all. He said she did the smart thing and came out sort of interviewing Benjy. He said that Benjy eventually got to ask his questions. He said that the highlights were everything else going on in the studio. Gary said that Lisa G asked what he'd give it as a grade and he said a B+ or C-. He said that Benjy may have spent too much time on some of the questions but he didn't have a lot of time to get to them. Jon said that was sort of frustrating to him too. He said he did unearth some things but he was talking about himself too. He said he hoped he would follow up on some of those things.
Benjy said the toughest part for him was that he had no idea how much time he had. He said part of him wanted to rush and part of him wanted to slow down and deal with things.
Jon said Howard stayed pretty quiet. Benjy said he appreciates that. He said part of him was hoping that Howard would just say it was over at the start. He said it was going well though.
Jon asked about the way Robin was reacting. Benjy said he felt that she was getting very upset at one point. He said it seemed like something else was going on with her. He said he's not sure what it was. He said he felt that maybe she was thinking he was interfering with Howard's role on the show or something. He said there was something about that he's seen before. Benjy said if he had been more calm he would have loved to have talked to her about that.
Gary said he felt that Benjy was throwing darts at the wall to see what would stick. He said he thinks he got that vibe from Robin and that didn't happen. Benjy said that came later in the show. He didn't do that during the interview.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she agrees with Benjy about Robin. She said that maybe she was trying to protect Beth but she really didn't need to do that. She said that it felt like Robin was kind of cock blocking him. Jon said he's not sure about that. He said they didn't know what to expect today. He said they weren't sure how wacky he was going to be. Gary said that Benjy came to him yesterday and they wondered where he would sit and things like that. He said Benjy got in fairly late for a special day and he kind of expected him to be there earlier. Gary said they thought he might show up in a suit and tie or his African garb. Benjy said he wanted to look the best way he could look.
Gary said that he's never heard someone tell him he looks good and believed it. Benjy said he believed it when Beth told him. He said he thinks there are things about him that are gross and some that are pretty. He said Gary has beautiful brown eyes. Gary laughed.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she enjoyed the interview. She said that she thinks that Robin can be very negative with everyone but Howard. She said Robin was putting pressure on him from the beginning. Benjy said that could help him in a way. He said he appreciates Robin. He said he thinks that they all gave him an opportunity and he appreciates that.
Gary said that it's the knee jerk ball breaking that they do on the show. Jon asked if he would have done anything differently. Benjy said he would like to have been more calm. He said that he would like to be able to soak in moments and things.
Jon asked Gary how he felt Howard did. Gary said he stayed out of it pretty well. He said he jumped in at one point but Benjy stopped him and Howard backed off. He said he'd give Howard an A+ for that. Jon said Benjy turned to Howard at one point and Howard stayed quiet. Benjy said he was soaking in the sweetness coming in from his face as Beth was talking about women's sexuality. Benjy said he could have stared at Howard for a good 15 minutes. Jon played a clip from that moment in the interview.
Jon took a call from a woman who asked if anyone there is jealous of what Benjy did since he did it well. Gary said he was going to give Benjy a question to ask but he didn't want to throw him off. He said he wasn't looking to be the one to interview Beth. Jon said he thinks that there were some people who were jealous. He said he thinks anyone would want that opportunity to talk to Beth. He said there was some envy there too. He said he was able to pull it off.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Benjy did a great job considering he was interviewing Howard Stern's wife in his studio sitting next to him. Benjy said he appreciates that.
The caller said that Jeff the Bore has become depressed or something since Eric the Actor passed away. Jon said it might be coincidence but he does seem more down and out than he has in the past. Gary said he's not sure what the connection is. He said they weren't good friends. Benjy said maybe it's about the mortality. He said he's seen Jeff depressed and he thinks it started before the Eric thing. He said he doesn't seem as excited about his life anymore.
Benjy said that Eric passing away really affected a lot of them. He said he was a part of their lives and now he's gone. Jon said they didn't think about everything he had to deal with every day. Gary said he knew he wasn't healthy but he thought that he had a lot more time than he was leading on. Gary said he didn't think he was lying but it seemed like he was going to be around forever. Jon said you do look at yourself when that happens. They went to break after that.
Jon said Hanzi called in today and talked about losing his virginity. He said Howard made him realize that she may have been on someone's payroll. Gary said he heard rumblings of this beforehand. He said it didn't matter to him. He said he's very happy for Hanzi. Benjy said he's glad that he had a good time either way. They said they really don't know for sure if she was a whore or not.
Jon said that it's a pretty amazing ride that JD has taken since he lost his virginity. Gary said that he pegged JD to be the kind of guy who would get married to the first girl he was in a relationship with. Jon said he was surprised too. He said he thought it would be one and done.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Benjy if he was more nervous about today's interview or when he made love to Perez. Benjy said both things are similar in a sense that it was right before the thing that was most nerve wracking. He said he was more nervous before it happened. He said it was the same with Perez and walking over to his apartment. Gary said he was borderline frantic on the way over to Perez's apartment. Benjy said he wanted to make that whole thing into a party. He said he was walking behind them and he thought about just disappearing from them and going away for 20 years.
Benjy said he's not sure if he can listen to the interview again. He said he has to wait a couple of days. He said he wants to learn and he wants to start doing this every day. He said he wants to interview Beth every day for the rest of his life. Benjy said he thinks he has to do this and still work for the show. Jon told him to let him know some feedback on his own interview when he listens to it.
Jon said that Mike Hambrick is there so he asked him what he has in the Howard 100 News. Mike ran down a few Howard 100 News headlines for stories they had coming up today. He also got in a Leiberman Live plug. Jon got in some plugs and mentioned that they're going to replay the Benjy interview show that he did back in 2005. They spent a minute talking to him about that and then wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:10am.
Howard started the show talking about being back again live. He had an issue with the microphone but he quickly resolved that and said he was just fucking with Robin. Howard said Brian Johnson and Angus Young from AC/DC are coming in. He said Al Michaels is coming in too.
Howard said this Bill Cosby rape story is growing and growing. He said he was home thinking yesterday and that's what he is built for. He said he's not a fan of Bill Cosby but he is a man and a human being. He said we don't know the whole story. He said he wanted to be fair to the guy for a second. He said no one has ever sued and settled out. He said that doesn't mean he's guilty of anything. Howard said whenever you go to court you can be called guilty and that doesn't even mean you're guilty. He said it seems like a lynching in a way. He said if it is true then what a despicable man. Howard said it's not like he can't get women. If it's true then he likes drugging and raping women. He said it's a very perplexing thing. Howard said if it is true then how is he walking free?
Howard said then this morning he reads that Janice Dickinson says that she was raped by Cosby. He said she's a lovable kook and then he remembered that she was on the show in 2006 and she was promoting a book. He said she was delightful in a kooky way. He said as he was interviewing her he thinks he asked her if there's anyone she didn't write about. He said she referred to something back then, in 2006, and this supports her claim. Howard said it does support that claim way back then. Howard played a clip from that interview where she said she wasn't able to write about Bill Cosby because Harper Collins was afraid of lawsuits. Howard asked Janice about what happened and she said she didn't want to get near that story because she doesn't have the money that Howard does. She said that he prays on women that just come out of rehab. That's all she would say.
Howard said a lot of women are saying that he's a powerful man and they're afraid of him. Howard said that they don't want to try to fight him. Howard said he doesn't like the idea of someone being accused years later. He said it rubs him the wrong way. Then he heard the tape from 2006 and then he started thinking different.
Howard told the guys her name is Janice Dickinson and not Janice Ian. He said someone had a clip up that had the wrong name. Gary said it was Scott and he was corrected.
Howard asked the guys where this next clip is from. JD said it was from CNN. Howard played a clip where they were interviewing Janice about the alleged rape. Howard said it's serious because they have serious music behind her. Howard said that there probably shouldn't be any music during a rape story. In that clip they say that Janice claims this happened in 1982. She said that he gave her wine and a pill and she woke up the next morning not wearing her pajamas. She said that she was sexually assaulted by this man.
Howard said that Don Lemon has some people upset with him for some comments he made about one of these victims talking about giving Bill a blow job and asking why she didn't use her teeth on him. Robin said some people don't understand the vulnerability of women when this kind of thing is going on. Howard said she could chop her head off.
Howard played a clip from that interview where Don Lemon asked the woman about how she could have not done it by using her teeth. The woman said she didn't think of it at the time because she was drugged. Howard said his logic is so bizarre. Howard said you don't have to hand over your wallet to a mugger either. Howard said you do it so the guy leaves. Robin said he just insulted every woman who was ever raped that way. Howard said he wasn't very logical.
Howard said he has a tape of Bill Cosby speed dating. Howard played the bit they created with a Cosby impersonator having drinks and the women passing right out.
Howard said that Cosby has canceled a lot of appearances he had coming up. Robin said that they also delayed the release of a comedy special on Netflix.
Robin asked how many more women could come out about this. Howard said only 2 people in the country have come out saying they weren't raped by the guy. Robin said that she can't remember a time when this many people came forward and the story wasn't true. Howard said Michael Jackson had a lot of accusers. Robin said they were children.
Robin said the only trial this guy has gone through was with the girl who claimed he was her father. Howard played another clip of Cosby giving drinks to women in a bar and you hear the bodies hitting the floor. Howard said that tape of Cosby doing the bit about Spanish Fly was something else. He said they played that yesterday.
Howard said that he had to do the math to figure out how many years they've been on the air. Howard did the math the long way. He figured they've been on the air 9 years. Howard said he went to college for that.
Howard took a call from King of all Blacks who said that Benjy's interview with Beth was half good. Howard said he was reading the email about that and some people liked it and some people were harsh. Howard said he thinks people have been hard on him. He said with everything that was going on he did a good job. King said he agrees. He said that he asked some questions that opened his mind up to another question. He said he asked her if she ever cheated and she said she cheated with a guy who treated her bad. Howard said she cheated with every boyfriend until he came along. Howard said she made it clear.
Howard said he knows who she was referring to. Howard said there were some men who were really bad to her. Howard said the relationships went south and that's why she cheated. He said she was fed up.
King said that he was wondering why she didn't just leave them. Howard said it was about living arrangements and things like that. He said she was young. Howard said that was sort of her way to leave the guy. Howard said maybe Benjy will ask her about it next time he interviews her. Robin said she felt that Beth was doing a really good job interviewing Benjy. Howard said she did.
Howard read some email he got about that interview. King said he has some other questions too. Howard read the feedback about Benjy and someone wrote ''Benny'' instead of Benjy. Howard read through some of those things and some people were kind of hard on him. Howard said some people asked him to never go to Benjy again. Howard said someone pointed out that Bobo liked it so what does that tell you? Howard said some people suggested giving him his own show called Blotch and Friends.
Howard said someone wrote in about Robin interrupting. They said her microphone should have been turned off or a nipple should have been shoved in her mouth. Howard said that someone told him that he should have shut up during the interview. Howard said more people were complaining about Robin interrupting and saying she hated the whole thing from the start.
Howard asked Benjy how he's feeling about it. Benjy said he hasn't listened back to it yet. He said he's feeling good about it. King said it was horrible. He told him not to listen to it. He said it was pretty good. He said it was half good and half bad. Howard said he has to move on. Benjy said he's never gotten so much good feedback on Twitter.
King said that Beth has a 90s way about her. He said she doesn't come across like she thinks she knows too much. He said he likes women who don't know too much. Howard said that she has a humility about her. Howard said he doesn't like men or women like that. Howard said he has to go. King kept asking questions but Howard said it's too much. He said he can only handle so much. Fred played him out with his theme song. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Shuli came in so Howard said he should get an award for that coverage. Howard said Shuli had an interview with the woman who banged Hanzi. He said he has tape of Hanzi taking a bong hit too. Shuli said they were in British Columbia. He said they were at an event indoors but you can't smoke indoors so you had to go into a medical tent to do it.
Howard played a clip of Hanzi taking a hit off a bong and then coughing. Then Hanzi was giggling and laughing. Robin said no wonder he smokes.
Shuli told Howard there was a vending machine that had weed in it. He said they have a gumball machine that has gumballs with weed in them too.
Howard said he was so shocked that Hanzi got laid and he thought it might be a prostitute. Howard said that he took a beating over that. Howard read some of the feedback he got about that comment. Howard read a bunch of people going off on him for saying that he was too harsh on him. Howard said he doesn't know anything about the girl. Howard said she didn't sound like one in the news story. Shuli said she is not. He said that the guy who runs this dispensary thing knew this girl and he set her up with Hanzi. He said that the girl felt it was her duty to take his virginity.
Shuli said Hanzi and the girl spent time in the corner talking and he didn't know what to do. Shuli said he told Hanzi what to do and told him to get her number. He said Hanzi backed out and didn't get it. He said that she came to the event the next night. Shuli said that he ended up going back to her hotel room. He said he was able to close the deal in like 5 minutes.
Howard said the news room must have been a buzz with the news. Howard played a clip of Shuli talking to the girl who took Hanzi's virginity. She said that she expected it to be awkward but it wasn't as awkward as she expected it to be. She said he was small in the beginning but he grew. She said he's a grower. She said it wasn't disappointing at all.
Howard said he hasn't seen Hanzi in a while but he thinks that he's an odd looking dude. He said this girl wasn't a hooker and she had sex with him anyway. Howard said they went out on the street and showed pictures of Hanzi and Charles Manson to see who they would sleep with. Howard played a clip of women answering and a bunch of women were picking Charles Manson. Howard said poor Hanzi. He said he might be better off tattooing a Swastika on his forehead.
Shuli said that Hanzi had a swagger about him after that whole thing went down. Howard said he's glad that Shuli is back from Paternity Leave. He said they found out that he was at war during that time. He was playing Call of Duty quite a bit. Howard said he has a clip of Shuli writing a letter to his wife from the battlefield. Howard played the clip and they had someone doing a Shuli voice and reading the letter to his wife. Howard said good for you Shuli.
Howard asked if he got any more achievement awards. Shuli said he doesn't think he has gotten anymore. He said he did get yelled at by his wife though. He said he thought the 4 year old was out and he was playing the game. He said they do this thing where you run around with a knife and stab you. He said that he let out a ''Are you fucking kidding me!?'' He said his wife came down and yelled at him because their daughter was upstairs.
Howard was going to wrap up with Shuli but Shuli had a picture of the girl that Hanzi had. Howard said she's an attractive girl. Robin sounded surprised when she saw her.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he has to see that picture. He said that he doesn't believe it. Ralph said he wanted to talk about that interview from yesterday. He told Benjy not to quit his job and do that for a living. He said that he didn't do that good of a job. He said Robin was trying to help by trying to move him along from the line of questioning that he wouldn't leave alone. Howard asked Benjy if he wanted to respond. Ralph said he likes Benjy so he's just responding to that. Benjy said he's just saying that's the way Ralph feels. He said he doesn't think he did incredible. Howard said it sounds like he wants to go out and become a full time interviewer. Benjy said no. He said that he's not considering quitting his job. He said he is going to do more interviews though. Ralph said hopefully he gets better.
Ralph told Howard that his interview with Jon Stewart was great. He said he is so in touch with his feelings about show business and all of that. Howard said that he has known Jon for a long time. He said he saw something in him early on. He said he did his MTV show because he liked him. He said he is a bright guy and a talented guy. He said he makes the world better.
Howard said he was on a high himself just like Benjy. Ralph said Howard had that for good reason. Benjy called Robin and Ralph out and said that he thinks they should do a 101 special where they have a competition. Shuli said they see who can put the audience to sleep first. Benjy said they could get 8 minutes to interview someone. Ralph said Benjy can do that on Howard 102. Benjy said he'll take Ralph on in anything.
Howard said that they've heard enough of that.
Ralph said he also thought Rachael Ray was good too. He said it was interesting that she wasn't looking to be famous. Howard said that she was living in New York and she got mugged. He said she pepper sprayed the guy and he came back and beat her up a couple of days later. He said she got out of the city and moved out to some place upstate and worked at a grocery store. Howard said she was teaching people how to make 30 minute meals. Howard said that led to her getting found by Al Roker.
Ralph said that Jon Stewart was saying that he just went with the flow too. Howard said he figured that if he was lucky he'd make 250 a week. He said that's how he was doing things. Howard said he thought about how he could maybe be great at this when he was at his lowest in Detroit. He said he had a game plan in his head. Howard said he liked Robin and he figured he knew what he had to do. Howard explained how he came up with a plan when he was moving from Detroit to Washington DC. He said they got there and they went from a 2 share to a 9 in a matter of months. Howard said it was very fast. He said that it was brutal once he moved to WNBC. He said he had to manage them. He said he was able to talk to management. Howard said he was able to explain to them that he was in it to win. He said if they could see their way clear he'd put them on the map.
Ralph asked if he had anyone encouraging him. Howard said no. He said he was shot down by management all the time no matter what. He said they hated him but they needed him. He said he only ever went to radio stations that were in the toilet. Howard said he didn't want to go to a successful station because he could only bring them down.
Howard said he remembers siting in his living room with Leon Black and he told him that they weren't going anywhere. Howard said he wasn't sure how many people he could bring with him. He said he'd give it a shot though. He said this was the ultimate toilet bowl. He said he could yell out his window and get more listeners. Howard said he was going into another shit station and he had to bring it up. Howard said he looked at it like he could only go up but it was a big task. Howard said he just went into it and did it. Howard said everyone couldn't wait for him to fail. He said they thought that he was going to disappear.
Robin said that there's a man named Matt Hog who is a professional video game player. Robin said he makes close to a million dollars a year smashing buttons. Robin said he makes that playing Call of Duty. Robin said he's 22 years old and he used to work at McDonald's. Howard said the guy is a nervous wreck because he could be bumped off by other kids. Shuli said having a job is the thing that hurts you the most. Howard said
Howard asked Shuli if he got better during his leave. Shuli explained that it's about the kill/death ratio. He said the best score he had was probably 22 kills and 11 deaths. He said that the guys who use the knife are just running around killing everyone. Howard said some people learn technique and learn to do it the best. Shuli said that it's a very fast moving pace in the game. He said you really have to pay attention to what moves the people are making. He said people come out to see these professionals play.
Howard said they're going to have a parade for Shuli for his bravery during his Paternity leave. Howard said the guys from AC/DC are there so he has to get to them. He had to take a break before that. As they went to break they played a Ronnie the Limo Driver bit where they had him on To Catch a Predator. They also played Lispy Lynn (Cliff Palate) singing AC/DC's ''For Those About To Rock (We Salute You).''
Howard came back and said that Brian Johnson and Angus Young from the band AC/DC were there. Howard said they're two great superstars. Howard said that it's great to see them. They came in and shook his hand. Howard said they shook it too hard.
Howard said their music is sexy. He said it's the kind of music you put on when you're with a lady. Robin got a laugh out of that. Howard said it is sexy. Angus said they're very sexy. Brian concurred with him on that one.
Howard said a lot of bands that have been around say it's not worth putting out an album now. He said the whole industry has changed. Howard asked if they ever thought about just touring and not putting out a new album. Angus said that they have fun making them and it was fun doing this one. Howard said they don't need to be doing it though. Brian said it was fun but Malcolm also had this awful condition. Howard said he's one of the best and he's suffering from Dementia. Howard said that makes him feel old. Brian said it can hit anyone. He said it's a stinking thing. Howard asked if he can play. Angus said he can but he's pretty ill. Howard asked when they noticed it happening. Angus said it happened last time they made an album. He said he was disoriented a lot. He said he used to be very organized.
Howard asked if Malcolm didn't want to get help. Angus said he wanted help because he knew something was wrong. Brian said he knew what was happening and Malcolm said that they should just keep making music. He said that it was nothing dramatic. He said he just wanted to keep on making music. Howard asked if he just wanted them to continue on. Angus said he did. He said when he was first diagnosed they asked if he wanted to keep doing it. He said Malcolm said he wanted to keep doing it until he wasn't able to do it anymore.
Howard said that a band like The Who goes on and they can go on as long as the two main guys are there. Howard asked if something happened to either one of them would they end it. Brian said he's forgetting about Cliff. He said he's a big part of it too.
Howard asked if Bon Scott was the guy who wanted to get Brian in the band. Angus told Howard the story about how he saw Brian performing in another band and how impressed he was. He said that he saw him hitting really high notes and then rolling around on the floor. Angus said at the end of the night Brian had to go to the hospital because he had a case of appendicitis. That's why he was rolling on the floor.
Howard said to find someone to sing in the band is a miracle. Angus said when he walked in the door he hadn't sung a note. He said they knew he was the guy straight away. Angus said that he was wearing that Andy Capp thing on his head at the time and they knew he was the guy.
Howard asked Brian how he got the call. Brian said he got a call from someone with a heavy eastern European accent telling him that they were looking for him. He said he didn't want to go to London to sing with someone he had never heard of. He said that he was told that they would tell him the initials. He said it was AC/DC and she told him that she had said too much. He said when he heard that he said he would come down. He said he had to borrow gas money to get to London.
Howard said the pressure of taking over a spot like that in a huge band must be a lot of pressure. Howard said the fans have to accept a new guy. He asked if people were booing him. Brian said they did a show in Belgium and he got on stage and he was kind of nervous. He said he remembers a sea of posters saying ''RIP Bon Scott'' and in the middle of that was one that said ''Long live Brian.'' He said it was a lovely gesture that settled him down. He said the boys just fired off after that.
Howard asked if the first song he wrote was ''Hells Bells.'' Brian said he thinks it was ''You Shook Me All Night Long.'' Howard played some of that. Howard said that was a great collaboration with the new band. Brian said he felt kind of cocky after they finished it. He said he remembers hearing it and saying that it was the best rock and roll record he'd ever heard. Howard said it is a great song.
Howard said that Steven Tyler performed the song at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction. He said that everyone accepted it and that must be when the band had gelled. Angus said that they had to go around and do a lot of touring around that.
Howard asked who they were singing about tin that song. Angus said it was about Brian's cars. He said that when he sings about curves he's singing about girls. Howard asked if the motor is the vagina. Brian said it's how you take it.
Howard said the band has been in the news a lot lately because their drummer was arrested for trying to hire someone to kill someone. Howard said that didn't shock him that much. Howard asked if they're close with their drummer. Howard said he wasn't at the listening party last night for the new album. Robin said maybe he can't travel.
Howard asked what goes through their mind at first when they hear that story. Angus said he fell out of his bed. Howard said he works there at a radio station and if someone was accused of that he's not sure he'd want to work with them. Brian said he just hit the nail on the head. He said you have to be careful of speculation.
Brian said that he was getting ready to fly home to the States when he heard the story. He said he saw this guy being dragged out of a car backwards. Howard said he knew that guy.
Howard said once you have enough money you'd think that problems like that would go away. He said this guy is busy hiring hit men.
Angus said when you're in a rock and roll band you move to the front and never look behind you. Howard asked if he's still in the band. Angus said they still have to resolve that. Robin asked if he was in the recording for this album. Angus said he was but it was tough to get him in there.
Howard said that they said the charges have been dropped. Robin said one charge was dropped. Howard said if they fire him, do it gently. Robin said maybe they don't even tell him. Brian said that they may not have to fire him. He said the situation may take care of itself. He said there's nothing they can do about it. He said it's about criminal codes and juries. He said there's really nothing they can do.
Howard asked if they're going to feel like they have to break up or just get a new drummer. Angus said they have had other drummers work with them and they have done fine. Howard said that it is a big shock when something like that happens though.
Howard said Brian won't perform one song. He said that it was Bon Scott's signature song. He played some of the song and Brian said the fact is that he can't play the bagpipes. He said that's a big problem. Brian said he loves the song though. Brian said he'd love to give it shot though.
Howard asked Angus about ''Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap'' and if he wrote that about his drummer. Angus laughed. He said it's a song for all rock drummers. Howard said that the sales have gone up since the drummer story came out. Brian said he heard that story. He said the sales for this song went up.
Howard asked if the song lyrics came from a cartoon. Angus said they came from Beanie and Cecil. He said there's a scene in the cartoon where a guy hands a card to another character and it said ''Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap'' on it. Howard said that Angus loves cartoons. Angus said he grew up on that stuff and he still loves them.
Howard played some of their song ''Whole Lotta Rosie'' and he heard that Bon Scott wrote it about some fat chick he was with. Angus said he did. He said that he described having sex with her and said that he was worried about burning his ass on the light bulb on the ceiling.
Howard asked if Bon was into banging fat chicks. Angus said that this one was irresistible according to Bon. He said that he was walking in a red light district and this woman yelled out ''Bon Scott!'' and that's all it took.
Howard said he has to clear some stuff up about ''For Those About to Rock (We Salute You).'' He asked about the cannons they shoot off during the song. Howard said that they were getting ready to fly home and they heard cannons going off during Prince Charles and Lady Di's wedding. Angus said they were doing a 21 gun salute. He said it was military like shooting. Angus said the lyrics were already there and they just added the cannons after hearing that.
Howard asked if they go on tour and they tell people they have to fire off cannons and people look at them like they're nuts. Angus said that's pretty much it. Howard asked if Brian was almost lit on fire by the cannons. Brian said they have. He said he's seen Angus jump forward from getting burning embers on his back. Howard asked if he lost his hearing from that. Brian said that doesn't help. Howard asked if they suffer from hearing loss. Angus asked ''What was that Howard?'' Howard said back in the day no one thought of putting ear plugs in. Brian said he has hearing loss in his left ear. He said he actually lost his from racing a car without ear plugs in. He said he forgot to put the ear plugs in. Brian said he took his helmet off and he had burst his ear drum. He said that he has Tinitis in that ear.
Howard said he has a question about Thunderstruck. Howard played some of the song and said that he heard he tapes some of the strings up. He asked what that means. Angus said that it muffs some of the strings that you don't want being heard. Howard asked if he's the one who invented that technique. Angus said his other brother George would just take the strings off. He said it's just to get a cleaner recording. He said you don't want the harmonics ringing through. He said it's just a recording thing.
Howard said that it must be strange to go into a studio after playing live when you're learning. Angus said you do have to learn how to do it. He said it's a bit of experimentation too. He said they might have to do some tricks to figure stuff out.
Howard said they must know a lot about producing an album and you'd think that bands would ask them for help. Angus said that he would pass along tips if they asked.
Robin asked why George isn't in the band. Angus said he's older and he had already done some of that stuff. Howard asked about what Gene Simmons said about rock being dead. Angus said he thinks that Gene is dead. He said it's not dead. Brian said that's going a little far saying it's dead.
Howard said it's great that they still love doing it. Howard said that brings them to the new album which is coming out December 2nd. The album is called ''Rock or Bust.'' Howard played one of the new tracks, ''Rock or Bust,'' from the album. Howard talked it up like he was at WNBC. Howard said it sounds good. Robin agreed. Howard let the song play for a short time.
Howard said that the guys have refused to put their music on Spotify. Howard said that's a streaming service. Angus said it's not a bad thing. He said he hopes they're writing the check now. Howard said they would like to see more money out of it. Brian said he doesn't know much about it. Howard asked who makes that decision. Angus said he likes anything that gets their music out there. He said it's like Howard who is a jock and he has to do his thing and get paid. He said everyone gets paid. Howard let the song play a little longer and said that if you play it backward you can hear a guy in the background trying to hire a hitman. Angus said it may have been two.
Robin asked Angus if he plays guitar every day. Angus said pretty much. He said his wife used to ask if it had to come to bed with them. Howard asked how old he was when he first picked one up. Angus said he was about 6. He said you hear something on the radio and you just want to pick it up and play. He said his brothers had guitars and you'd pick it up and play a few bars.
Howard asked who Angus' guitar heroes were. He said that Hendrix was one. He never got to meet him but his sister did. Angus told Howard that he had a brother who worked with the Beatles when they were with Apple records. He said his nephew got to meet him too. He said that he was in Australia at the time. Howard said Hendrix was so good that Eric Clapton said he was going to give up after seeing him. Howard said that it just came easy to Hendrix. Angus said the guy just had everything. He said when he first heard Purple Haze it was a life changer.
Howard said Hendrix was a good singer too but some people didn't think he could sing. Howard said he was getting into some weird Jazz stuff toward the end though.
Howard asked who Brian liked. Brian said he liked Freddie Mercury. He said he likes Robert Plant too. Howard asked about Plant and why they think that he won't go on tour. Howard said poor Jimmy Page doesn't have a singer. Howard asked if they think he can't sing anymore. Brian said that he's a driven man and he wants to get away from that. He said he thinks that he likes to write new material and have new bands. He said it takes a lot of balls to turn that down. Angus said he thinks that he likes doing different styles now. Brian said you have to admire that in a way. Howard said that Angus must be happy that Brian isn't like that.
Howard asked about Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler too. Howard said maybe if they don't interact a lot off stage that helps. Brian lives in Florida and gets away from it all for awhile. Howard said that their attitude is to just work out their own bullshit. Angus said they all sit down and chew the fat when they need to. He said it's a consensus.
Howard said they're pretty humble but he'd say that they're in the top 5 or 10 rock bands of all time. Angus asked who the other 4 guys are. Howard asked if they feel that way. Angus said they don't. Brian said it's nice that people say that. Angus said they've survived a long time and the acceptance grows. Howard said they were sort of on the fringe for a while but now they're more accepted. Howard asked if they can take criticism. Angus said he likes that kind of stuff. He said they've been called everything. Howard asked if they laugh when they hear the Stones calling themselves the world's greatest rock band. Angus said it is pretty funny.
Howard said he thinks they are delightful. He gave them a plug for their new album ''Rock or Bust'' and said they are going to be on tour and you can find out more about them on their web site ACDC.com.
Howard said he knows there are a lot of young musicians listening. He asked if they have any advice. Brian said he'd like to say keep it honest but he's talking about the record business. Angus suggested ''Don't turn your back on your drummer.'' That got a laugh.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had a story to share. He said he was in the military when he was 19 and they were going into Iraq. He said he was scared shiftless at the time. He said they were moving in on the real Highway to Hell. He said one of the guys started playing ''Highway to Hell'' and it was all in slow motion as they were going in. Howard asked if the guy gets charged up hearing that song. The caller said it helped him. He said he got pumped up and they were playing other songs as well. Howard asked if he's saying that their songs won the war for them. The caller said they sort of did.
Howard said that AC/DC's music was used to intimidate the enemy in Iraq. Howard said it intimidated them and that's what you want. Howard said that's impressive. Howard thanked the caller for the call and let him go.
Howard gave the guys some more plugs and wrapped up the interview. They went to break and played a John the Stutterer clip and a Jeff the Drunk clip. They also played some prank calls Sal and Richard made to the Jonah Falcon show.
Howard came back and said that Al Michaels is a long time friend of the show. He said he's a legendary broadcaster. Howard said people think he's super conservative but he bets he loves AC/DC. Al said he does and he's rapped with 50 Cent on Jimmy Kimmel a few times. He said that he has a quote on his book (''You Can't Make This Up: Miracles, Memories, and the Perfect Marriage of Sports and Television'' ) from Eminem too. Howard said Al must be in love with the English language. He said he throws in a lot of big words. Al said that Eminem said he was his favorite guy and he asked him if they could use that quote on his book and he was very excited about that. He said he loves AC/DC too. He said he might be like 100 years old but he's into that stuff.
Howard said people do want youth on TV. He asked Al why he went to broadcasting school. He said it doesn't really help you out. Al said he waned to go to a school where he could call games. He said he did that on a campus radio station. He said Reggie Jackson was going to school there at the time. He said that led to him getting more and more jobs. Howard asked if he sent out tapes to get jobs. Al said he did. Howard said he knew a guy who did that and he got work from it. Howard said he figured he sucked himself because these guys had voices for radio and he didn't.
Al told Howard he loved going to baseball games and he wanted to be there forever. He said he enjoyed that big time feel of major league sports. He said he played too and loved that. He said he knew his calling was going to be calling games. Al said his dad was into sports and he was an aspiring agent. He said he went on to be the head of a production company. He said his father represented Joanie James who was a singer. He said when Pat Boone was ascending he was managing him for a short time. He said Pat came to the house and the neighborhood went insane. Howard asked if his dad was a lawyer. Al said he was not.
Howard asked Al if the family was surprised that he wanted to be a broadcaster. Al said not really. He said his dad was NCA and he was assigned to make a deal. He said that his dad would take him to the racetrack and things like that too. Al said if you were less than 18 years old you could get in with an adult. He said he created his own tout sheet for the races and he'd sell them for a buck and half. Howard asked how old he was. Al said he was about 13. Al said that he picked a horse at 75-1 and he won. He said the neighbors all thought he knew something. He said they thought he was a kid genius. Robin asked if it was a total guess. Al said not really. He said that he thought it should be about 20-1 and not 75. He said he had some understanding of what was going on. Howard asked Al how long the neighbors fell for the tout sheet before they knew he knew nothing. Al said that lasted about a week.
Howard asked Al about being with the Cincinnati Reds back in 1971-73. Howard said Pete Rose was there at the time. Howard said Al says that he was out of control with his gambling back then. Al said that they took a day off and they took a car to the horse track. Then they went to the greyhound track. He said then they were going home and they stopped to bet on some Jai alai. Howard asked Al if he bets. Al said he has never spent a dime that he didn't really need. He said he doesn't bet big. Howard asked about going with Pete Rose and if he feels peer pressure to bet big. Al said Pete was making more money than he was. He said he could afford to do that. Al said Pete needed action 24 hours a day. He said he was his favorite athlete to cover because he was balls out the whole time. He said he gave the fans their money's worth.
Howard said Al if he still sees Pete. Al said he does once in a while. He said he feels sad for Pete. He said he should have been in the hall of fame first ballot. He said his whole career was tarnished by that gambling thing. He said it just mushroomed and it is what it is today. He said he thinks that he should be in the hall of fame. Howard said it is kind of sad that it was all wrecked over that. Al said it is because he was one of a kind.
Howard said Al had to audition to get a job for ABC calling a game. Al said he thought he sucked because he was calling a tape of a game. He said you can't do a game that way. Al said he was told it was great but he thought it sucked. He ended up getting hired. Howard said Al has a nice sound to his voice. Al said it's all about connecting to the audience. He said Howard knows that. Al asked Howard why he's been there all these years.
Howard said that Al says that calling hockey is the hardest thing to do. Howard asked if there's a lot of time to fill or what. Al said there's not much scoring and there's a lot of action going on. He said with hockey you don't know where the puck is at. He said you can't picture it in your mind's eye.
Howard said the famous line ''DO you believe in miracles?'' and it's been used in so many things. Howard said Al says that he just said it and he didn't think about it. Al said he didn't think about that or the time he said that he said ''Lest anyone think that was a real phone call...'' He said that this was back in 1980 when he said the miracle line. He said that he wasn't thinking that they'd even win the game. Al said then it happens and he was calling the game and doing the play by play.
Howard asked if he gets calls from other announcers congratulating him. Al said that when you watch that game it makes you want to hug your TV set. He said that he does get complements on it.
Howard asked Al if he thinks of a game as a song and he's the one writing the lyrics for the melody of the game. Al said that's the way he thinks of it. Howard said a bad announcer can ruin a game. Howard asked Al if he ever hears other announcers and thinks they're fucking up a game. Al said he has. He said he hears good ones and thinks ''that's the way to do it.'' He talked about some of the great announcers but he didn't have any names for the bad ones.
Howard asked Al if he liked working with Howard Cosell. Al said it was tough in the last couple of years. He said that it was okay in the beginning. He said that they'd be all excited to do a game and Howard would come in and be all down. He said the fans wanted to hear him though. Al said he had an interesting look and he'd bring that awful yellow blazer with him. He said he'd wear that blazer and smoke a cigar. Al said that Howard always hated the fact that he wasn't the one to do the big news stories. He said he'd get upset with Jim McKay over that. He said Howard once to Jim and told him that he can't walk anywhere and people won't leave him alone. He said Jim told him to try his room. Howard asked if Cosell ever took his toupee off. Al said he did see that once. He said it was frightening. He said he was sot stunned that he almost called security.
Howard said that Al met his wife in 10th grade. Howard said he never got to live his life. Al said he lived his life with his wife. Howard said that he never got to experience other women though. Al said that his wife is the only one he's ever been with. Howard said there's a beauty to that.
Howard asked Al about the story he tells in the book about Howard Cosell. He said he's in Kansas City and they see some teenagers fighting in the street. Al said they were in a limo at the time and they came to a stop at a light. He said Howard had a few vodkas before dinner. He said they were at a red light and Howard sees the confrontation and gets out of the car. Al said he tried to grab Howard but he was already out on the sidewalk. Al said he wasn't sure what to do. He said he didn't want to go get killed so he stayed in the car. Al said Cosell went over in his yellow blazer with the cigar going. He said the fight stops and 7 kids look at him. Howard said he started to call the fight. Al said he did after the kids stopped. Al told Howard how Cosell called the fight. Al said one of the kids recognized him and they ended up getting autographs. Al said they were all wondering if this was real or not. He said they had a driver named Peggy in the car. He said she told them she thought she had seen everything but she had never seen anything like that. Cosell says ''Pegaroo, just remember one thing. I know who I am.'' Howard said people are nuts. Al said Cosell was a little different. Al said 11 vodkas will give you the confidence to get out of the car to stop a fight.
Howard said that Al talks about this OJ Simpson thing in his book. He said that he talks about going to visit him in prison. Howard said that has to be scary. Al said he went there once and the Menendez brothers were sitting next to OJ. He said that OJ didn't like the way the whole thing was being covered. He said that's when he started wondering what was really going on there. Howard asked Al if he thought OJ didn't really do it. Al said he did. He said that he had been a friend and a colleague for a long time. Howard asked if he was the kind of guy who would snap once in a while. Al said he never saw it personally. He asked Howard if he knows anyone who is capable of committing a double murder. Howard whispered ''Fred!'' Howard said he really doesn't know of anyone. Al said that he knew Nicole and all of those people but not Ron. Howard said he hast' been in touch with OJ for years now. Al said that's right.
Al said that Howard is in two sections of the book. Howard said that he loves that Peter Jennings had no idea he was being scammed in that OJ call. Al said he really didn't have a clue. Howard asked if he can think of a better prank call. Al said that this was one of the best. He said that he thought that it was Captain Janks but he knows now that it was Maury from Brooklyn.
Howard said that Al has kept his voice and some guys aren't able to do that. Howard said that's scary because you have no control over that. Al said you don't and when it's over it's over. Robin asked if his dad got to see his success. Al said he did see some of it. He said he passed away in 1983.
Howard asked Al about the movie Baseketball. He said he was paid $15,000 for one day's work. Al said they were paying everyone that money. He said he and Bob Costas were supposed to be paid that. Al said he heard that Costas was being paid $50,000. He said he got crazy when he heard that. He said that he and Costas were having fun for the first hour. Then they were behind schedule. He said things were getting worse and worse. Al said that Bob told him what he was getting paid and he was freaking out. He said that they duped him and he was pissed. Al said they told him everyone was being paid this. He said he called his agent and said he was going to leave. Al said he finished the job and he called an entertainment lawyer. He said the next day the set was closed and then they were late getting the movie out. He said that they needed his scenes to finish the movie. Al said they asked for $75,000. He said they offered 20,000. Al said that he was asked what the best thing to happen could be. Al said he asked to be out of the movie because it was the biggest piece of shit. Al said they got a call saying he was out of the movie if he didn't accept the deal. Al said they eventually settled on about $60,000.
Howard said that Al missed the birth of one of his daughters because he was working. Al said that was Jenny. He said he was in a hotel in Houston at the time. He said that's the one moment he'd like to have back. Howard said you don't have a lot of options.
Howard gave Al a plug for his book ''You Can't Make This Up: Miracles, Memories, and the Perfect Marriage of Sports and Television'' and said he'll be signing copies at The Book Review in Huntington, Long Island tomorrow.
Howard said that Bob Costas brought up the Redskins name and gave his opinion on that. Howard said Al was upset with that. Al said that no one wants to hear that during a game. He said it's fine if you're on a talk show. He said Bob took a lot of heat for that. He said it was inside the game. Al said Bob is a pal of his and he wasn't trying to slap him with that. He said people just don't want to hear that during a game. Al said he was just saying that he wouldn't get involved in that kind of controversy.
Howard asked Al why he thinks the owner of this team won't change the name of the Redskins. Al said he thinks that the guy sees that they have a lot of fans who like the team and they have a tradition there. Al said he never thought about it until this came up. He said that at a certain point something is going to offend everyone. He said he's not sure if you change everything that people are offended by. Al said that the name of the team was the name of the team for 50 years before anyone complained. Robin said maybe no one was listening. Al said he heard that there are tribes that are named redskins on the reservations. Al said he never thought of it in those terms. He said he is seeing a majority of people saying that they're okay with it.
Howard asked Al about the story about the NFL being the next tobacco company. He said the sport is a bunch of gladiators and the players are sent off into battle and there are some big injuries in the game. Howard asked if they could kill it off. Al said he doesn't see that happening. Al said that these are guys getting paid $10 million a year. Al said that people love playing the game and it's true that some of them have injuries later in life. He said they don't always. He said there are guys who pay the price but that happens in other jobs too. He said they are working for more money but it is a choice.
Howard asked Al if he supports college players getting paid. Howard said he does because the colleges are making a ton of money from the TV coverage. Howard said that they have to stop the ruse that they're getting a free education. Al said he thinks they should be paid. He said if you do pay them then what do you do with Lacrosse players. Howard said fuck them. Howard said no one is watching that.
Howard asked who the best team in the NFL is. Al said today he would say Green Bay. Howard asked why it's not Arizona. Al said they are good but they have a lot of injuries. He said this week it's Green Bay. Howard said look at him talking sports with Al.
Robin asked what's going on with the Jets and how a New York team can go so wrong. Howard said he's shocked by that too. He wondered what's going on. They spent a minute talking about that.
Howard asked Al why Boomer Esiason blames him for being fired. Al said he doesn't know. He said he had nothing to do with that. Howard asked if he sees him. Al said he does and he's fine when he sees him. Howard asked who the best partner is he ever worked with. Al said Chris Collinsworth is great, John Madden was great and some others were as well.
Howard asked Al what John Madden is doing these days. Al said he's not sure. He said he is living up in Northern California. He said he's still doing some consulting work for the NFL.
Howard asked Al what he thinks of the Baba Booeys in golf. Al said that's going too far. He said he loves the Baba Booey's he gets from the fans.
Howard said that Al used to work for Chuck Barris and he would pick the contestants for The Dating Game. Al said he got a job with Chuck before the broadcasting job. He said he was cold calling people to do the show and this was back in 1968. He said they had rotary phones and he'd have a sheet of numbers to call. Al said they were looking for good looking girls or a complete ditz. Al said he was part of the audition process. He said they'd run people through a practice game. Al said he started out at $95 a week and he'd get a $5 a week raise every week for a few weeks until he was up to the 150 he should have started out at. Al told Howard how he'd make the calls and get people on the show. Howard asked Al what he'd do if he saw him walk in. He said he thinks he'd slam the door. Al said not at all.
Howard said he has Leon Spinks on the phone and he wants to argue with Al. He picked up and Sal or Richard was playing audio clips of Leon mumbling some stuff. Al said he covered a couple of Leon's fights.
Howard took a call from Ralph who said he loves this guy. He said that Al and Chris are great at calling the games. He said it adds another level to the game. Howard said that Al says that it's like writing a song. Ralph said even a shitty game is interesting to watch with those guys.
Howard said that you have to have a wealth of information and you have to study the game. Howard asked Al if he studies. Al said he's studying all week long. He said that it's harder than it looks. Al said Dennis Miller was on the show once and he was getting ripped over it so he called a guy over and told him to just go for it. He said it's not that easy. Al said the fans know far more now than they ever knew. He said you have to be good.
Howard asked Al if he worries about audience complaints. Al said back in the day it used to be one letter that was a deluge. He said no one is universally loved. He said not one person. Howard said Cosell was loved and hated and you loved to hate him. Al asked if everyone loves Howard. Howard said of course they do.
Robin asked if Al worked with Rush Limbaugh. Al said he auditioned to do football and he knew his stuff. Al said that Don Ohlmeyer called him to do the audition and Rush was good. He said he knows a ton of football. Howard said he thinks he would have liked hearing that. Al told Howard about how the audition went. He said that Don thought Dennis would be the guy from the start and that's who they went with. Al told Howard about Dennis coming in and doing his thing. He said Dennis made a joke about a player's name and they knew they had their guy after that. He said they got 2 years out of Dennis too. Howard said he thinks that Dennis thought he had to be funny all the time and that's why it didn't work out.
Howard took a call from a guy who told Al how much he enjoys him. Howard gave Al some more plugs for the book and the book signing after that.
Al said he was out in Ridgewood, New Jersey last night and he knows that Beth was there. He brought in a picture of her that was there. Howard said he took that picture. Howard said he loves seeing Al at the Jimmy Kimmel parties. Al said he's friends with Don Rickles. He said Don loves Howard. Al said that Don thought Howard would hate him. Howard said Don is his hero. Howard said he loves the guy. Al said he's still phenomenal.
Al told Howard a story about Doc Rivers and going out to dinner with him and Don Rickles. He said they all went to dinner and Doc came in last. He said he introduced Don to Doc and Don says ''Who invited him?''
Howard said Al is there to say that he was never alone with Bill Cosby and Cosby never raped him. Al asked who Bill Cosby is. Howard and Al spent a minute on that.
Howard said that Al must have written this book on his own. Al said he had some help. He said that every line is the way he would say it though. He said it took 2 years to write it. Howard asked how many copies he'd like to sell. Al said he's not sure. He said he'd like to sell 20 percent of what Private Parts sold. Al said he thinks people will enjoy it. Howard asked him to leave him with one big word that he should learn. Al said he doesn't know. Howard said he thinks they've heard enough from Al. Al said he's doing the Super Bowl this year. He said he'll do that and maybe 3 people will tell him ''good job.'' He said he's on Howard's show and 9,000 people will say ''good job.'' He said it's amazing. They wrapped up and ended the interview after that. As they were going to break they played some prank calls Sal and Richard made to a radio show using clips of Hanzi. They also played an AC/DC song with Mike Walker farts in it.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who said that Beth was just on the Today Show. She said that Jay Leno was in the building with her. Howard said he heard that he was going to be there. Howard said he wasn't there at the same time. Howard said that Beth wondered what to say. Howard said he told her to just say hello. Howard said the only beef is between him and Jay, not between Beth and Jay. Howard said Jay is soulless so he may not say anything to her. Howard said Beth was fine with it. Howard said of all people to show up that day...
Mariann said that she wanted to say happy Thanksgiving. She also had some questions for Benjy. She said she wanted him to ask her some stuff about what she thinks about their future and things like that. Howard said that woman is a handful and let Mariann go.
Howard said that there's big news going around about Hanzi finally getting laid. He played a phony news report that they broke into to give the news about him getting laid.
Howard asked Robin for the real news. Robin started off with a story about how science has found that there is such a thing as revenge sex. Robin read about that study and Howard said he is the best revenge sex in the world. He said you have sex with him and everyone will throw up.
Robin read about how Tracy Morgan is still recovering from his brain injury. Robin said they say that he may never be the same as he was. Robin said they say that they're not sure of the severity of his brain injuries. Robin said he's still getting around in a wheelchair and a walker. Howard said he loves Tracy. He said he tried getting in touch with him after the accident. Howard said he was hopeful that he'd be okay. Howard said he heard that he was going home and he thought he was out of the woods. Howard said he thought he was going to be okay. Howard said now he's hearing this and it's shocking to him. Robin said this is what they were saying at the settling of his lawsuit. Robin said you don't know what is going to happen with him. Robin said he definitely deserves compensation for the accident he was in. Robin said she's hoping that's why these things are being said.
Howard took a call from Speech Impediment Man who said that he got a lot of bad Twitters about his comments on Monday. He said he wanted to apologize to Benjy and his girlfriend. He's sorry for calling her a whore. Howard asked if Benjy accepts that. Benjy said sure. Benjy said they don't have a relationship but it's nice to apologize. Speech said he felt he had to set the record straight. Fred did his impression of Speech and goofed on him for a few seconds. Benjy said that he was very mean and he should think about that. Speech said he likes the show and... Howard cut him off and told him to call Benjy off the air.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he gets hair on the shaft of his penis. Howard said he does. He said there are hairs that grow half way up his shaft. He said it's weird. The caller said he had ''RePENISil'' like Rapunzel. Howard said he can shave down and the hairs still stick out. He said he saw something on TV that might allow him to get rid of it. Howard said they have this thing on TV they sell for women's moustaches. The caller said it's called the Nono. Howard said that it's a very fine blade. Howard said the commercials look so bad that he doesn't trust them. The caller made another joke about what he had down there. Howard said he had to get rid of him after that. He said he's like Johnny Carson Jr. with those jokes.
Howard said that they have this thing that's an electric razor like thing. Robin and Howard went back and forth arguing if it was a razor or an electric thing.
Robin said she saw Tori Spelling over at Dr. Oz yesterday. Robin said that she said hello. Howard said she was supposed to do the show but she got sick and then had to cancel. Robin said that she told her that she regretted she had to do that.
Howard said that Oprah heard about Robin licking her own breasts and she came out with her own story. Howard played a clip of some edited Oprah clips where they had her saying she likes to suck her own tits after Steadman does stuff to her. Howard said that she won't be coming in there anytime soon.
Robin read about how the company Procter & Gamble has come out in favor of gay couples. Robin said that's kind of against what Howard has said about companies picking a side. Howard said that's because of that guy from Chick-Fil-A coming out against gay people.
Robin read about how there is going to be a Transgender prison and they are going to have them safe and separate from the other inmates. Howard and Fred did their Herman Munster voices while they were talking about that.
Robin read about Janice Dickinson coming out with a story about bill Cosby allegedly raping her back in 1982. Robin had some audio of Janice talking about that. Robin read more about what's going on with Cosby canceling some appearances. Howard said if these things are true then this guy is a fucking lunatic. He said he's not sure if they are or not. Howard wondered what he was putting in their drinks. Robin said no one is sure. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about Linda Ronstadt and how she wont be singing anymore. Robin said she has Parkinson's and she can no longer sing. Howard said he was a fan of her's. He said she had a great voice. Robin said it was incredibly clear. Howard said he thinks aback to the time Robin was on the Tonight Show and Linda came out on her high horse and came out against Howard Stern and went off on Robin. Robin said she was waiting for Jay to defend his guest but he never did so she had to do it herself. Howard said Robin said to Linda that she suspects that she never even heard the show. Howard said he was getting tagged with all kinds of horse shit from people who had never heard the show. Howard played a clip of Linda talking to Robin on the Tonight Show with Robin defending Howard and the show. Jay just says it's great that they came on and spoke their minds.
Howard said that he can't stand Jay Leno. Howard said he has nothing against Mexican Americans. He said he does a humorous show. Howard said Robin hit it on the head. He said that he was always criticized by people who never even listened to the show. Howard said some woman reviewed his TV show without ever even seeing it. Her name was Kay Gardella. Robin said she admitted it too. Howard said she never watched the show but gave it a scathing review. Howard said it was remarkable that someone would admit that. Howard said he thinks that they figured her out and got rid of her from that paper shortly after that.
Howard said that he's always been offended by Linda after those comments. Robin said she used to be a big fan. She said that she was very instrumental in the Eagles and other people's careers. Howard said she's entitled to her comments and he wouldn't wish that on anyone. Robin had audio of Linda talking about what's going on with her voice and how she can't sing anymore. Howard said that's a shame. Robin said she should have stuck to singing and not politics. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Howard said he had tape of Linda Ronstadt singing now. He played a clip of Yoko Ono screaming. Robin read a story about the photos that Paper magazine had of Kim Kardashian. Robin said they increased sales of her sex tape. Robin said that Vivid Entertainment claims that the sales have gone up since those photos came out. Howard said he likes these pictures even though he knows they're Photoshopped. He said he's never seen anything like it. He said he's not into that big ass thing but it is fascinating to look at with the oil all over her ass. He said she shows her tits too. He said he does like it even though he knows it's not reality.
Robin read about Jaden and Willow Smith and the interview they did with the NY Times teen magazine. Robin said it was in advance of both of them releasing albums. Robin said she had some of their music. She had Howard play some of Willow's music. Fred played a dog howling as the song was playing. Howard asked how old she is now. Robin said she might be 15. Howard said he was just told she's 14. Howard played another one of her songs. He said she's trying to be like Lauren Hill. Howard said it needs that AC/DC cannon. Fred found a sound clip so he played that and the Yoko screaming. Robin said she had another song. Howard played that and Fred threw in some Benjy screaming clips. He had a Ronnie ''Duu'' clip, Yoko and some Jeff Bridges noises he threw into that.
Robin had some audio from Jaden Smith's album too. Howard played some of those clips and Fred played some of Gary playing trumpet over that. Robin had Howard play a few of his songs. Howard said the good thing is that none of his songs sound the same.
Robin read a story about how Bob Marley is becoming the pitchman for a global brand of marijuana. Robin said that it's being named after Bob Marley. Howard said there's a lot of music news today. Robin read about the stuff that will be called Marley Natural that will be rolled out in 2015.
Robin read about how today is the day in New York City when they will only give a ticket for 25 grams or less of pot.
Howard played a commercial parody for the Yoko Ono Life Alert device. He read a live commercial after that.
Robin read a story about Wendy Williams producing a biopic about Aaliyah and some people were upset about it. She fired back and people on her show. Robin had a clip of Wendy talking about it on her show saying it was the highest rated movie on all of cable this year. Robin said the movie had 3.4 million viewers.
Robin read a story about Chris Hemsworth being named People magazine's sexiest man award. Howard wasn't sure which one that was. Robin said he's the one who plays Thor. Howard played a commercial parody for a Thor movie where he'd be having a garage sale. Robin said he was on Jimmy Kimmel last night and he thanked a few people who taught him how to be sexy. Howard said he is a good looking dude. He said it must be great being that handsome. Robin said he's married and doesn't play any games. Howard said he wouldn't get married if he was that good looking. Howard said he seems pictures of himself and he can't believe what's going on there. He said that he tries all kinds of things and it doesn't help. He said with those genetics you can't do much. He said it's a big disappointment. Robin said he's beautiful on the inside. Howard said he's not even that. He said he doesn't like parties and he's not a fan of people. He said he's not only ugly but awkward. He said it's a double whammy in life. Howard said he's like Elephant Man. He said he has America's Got Talent set up pretty good but then they insist on filming him while he's walking around. He said the camera men are shorter than he is so they shoot up his nostrils. Robin asked if the guys from AC/DC look like children to him. Howard said they are about a foot shorter than him. He said he's on a different plane than they are. He said he and Angus hugged and he was hanging off his balls.
Robin read a story about how the country has said that we won't pay ransoms to terrorists. Howard said that we used to be so respected that no one would have thought of beheading any citizen. Howard said no one else steps in on this stuff. Robin said the CIA is watching about 150 Americans over in Syria who are being watched for dealing with terror groups over there. Howard said we need a senile old guy like Ronald Reagan who is ready to put his finger on the bomb. Howard said that's the kind of guy we need in office next.
Robin read a story about a woman who is due in court today for trying to connect people with terrorist groups like ISIS.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she heard Howard talking about the shaft hair issues. She said she has been with a black man who had the same issue and he just shaved it off. Howard said black guys have coarse hair. Howard said he's surprised he shaves it. Howard said that skin is very gross. Howard said it's like a turkey neck. Howard said he doesn't believe that he does it. She said he does. She said it was really bad and he had to do something about it. Howard let her go after that.
Robin read a story about the attack at the synagogue in Jerusalem. Robin said people are upset that there's not more outrage over it. Robin said the pope has condemned the attack. Robin had some details about that. Robin said President Obama is condemning it as well. She had audio of Obama talking about that. Howard wondered if Obama has problems with shaft hairs. Robin said she's not sure if he's that hairy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Tan Mom has only gotten one answer right in all of the games he's played. Howard said they need more Tan Mom. The caller said she's so annoying to listen to. Howard played a prank call they made to Tan Mom saying they were from a toy company and they were looking to get her to record some voices for a doll they wanted to bring out.
Robin read a story about how a house panel is going to quiz the director of the Secret Service about the security of the White House after they had a couple of security breaches.
Robin read about the great American smoke out happening tomorrow. Robin said that happens every third Thursday in November. Robin said there are 42 million smokers in the United States.
Robin read a story about how it's also time to remind people about Alzheimer's disease. Robin had some audio of a doctor talking about lung cancer as well. Howard said there's too much sadness in November. He said he doesn't like this month. He said he's going to pretend it's December already.
Robin said at least 4 people are dead as Western New York is going through a snow storm. Robin said they've seen up to 6 feet of snow in Buffalo. Howard said he would do everything to get out of Buffalo if he lived up there. Robin said they may get another 90 inches in the next couple of days. Robin said they've declared a state of emergency up there and called in the National Guard to help.
Robin read a story about a doctor who says there is such a thing as sharing too much. Robin had some audio of him talking about what people need to do and you have to think before sharing personal information.
Robin said they say that every Tweet that goes out will be saved. Robin said that the Tweet index is available through Twitter. Robin said that all 500 billion tweets are searchable. Howard said that's so exciting.
Robin read a story about the people who sneak into this country usually flock to warmer states. Howard said why not. Robin read about the states that get the most immigrants and they were all down south like Texas and Florida. Robin wrapped up and Howard ended the show around 10:25am.
Jon said when sports people come in Howard has a tricky interview. He said he thought Howard held his own today. He said one thing they talked about was the Washington Redskins but he didn't think Al really answered that question. He said that issue is really divisive. He said there are people who think that it's something people should be sensitive to like Bob Costas did. He said that Al said that it's not the time to do that when you're calling a game. Jon said other people feel that is the time. Jon said the one thing he really respects about Al is that he's all about the game. He said he has a good sense of humor and he never feels talked down to by Al. He said he enjoys what he has to say. Jon said he's been doing it so long and so well and he thinks a lot of people would love to have that chair.
Gary said he would like Al no matter what but he's a super fan of the show. Gary said that he doesn't like when they talk about that stuff during a game. He said they should stick with the game and that's it. Jon said he was good on Monday Night Baseball too. He said he was just calling the game. He said he works at his craft and he thinks that's why people like him.
Jon said Al is on Sunday Night Football now and he's on the number one show on TV. Gary said that there were some great stories that Al told. He said Scott used to work at WABC radio and he used an ISDN line at his house and Scott would hear things going on at his house.
Jon said Howard Cosell was always making things about himself. He said that those ABC blazers were so awful. He said it was all about being noticed.
Jon said that Al has a lot of stories about Pete Rose and gambling in the book. He said you can tell that Al is into that stuff too. He said Pete Rose is one of those guys you wonder if they should have let him in the hall of fame. Gary said that you can't take away what he did on the field.
Jon played a clip of Al Michaels talking about Pete Rose with Howard. After that Jon asked Gary if he knows people who are balls out like Pete Rose was with gambling. Gary said he does. He said Al would just go near Pete Rose to soak up some of his energy. He said he gets that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Al is a true professional. He said in sports you don't always see that. He said that what impressed him most was hearing him talking about seeing Cosell without his toupee and going to visit OJ in jail. He said he didn't make any business calls this morning because he was busy listening to Howard Stern.
Jon and Gary talked about some of the other stories he told that they enjoyed. Jon said he thinks that Howard was impressed with Al's vocabulary. Gary said that he was. Gary said Al said he had never used ''Farcical'' in his life until that day on ABC with the Baba Booey call. He said he has no idea why he did it either. Jon said they're all glad he did.
Jon brought up the 1980 hockey game and how great that line was about ''Do you believe in miracles?'' He said he found it hard to believe that he didn't have that ready to go. Gary said that it was a pretty remarkable game. Gary said that the game could have changed on a dime. He said he understands that he could have pulled it out at the last second.
Gary said he and Al talked in the green room and he told him that there was a game going on and the crowd went nuts after a call so they were chanting ''Bullshit.'' Al made a comment about how you might hear that on the Howard Stern show and it was during the Olympics so they heard about it and had him come in. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Will said he loves them because they're not pretentious and they're really down to earth. He said it doesn't match what other bands are like. He said that you look at Jimmy Page and his stamping his books and not being able to get out and tour. He said these guys don't care that their drummer is having major problems. They just want to go out and party.
Gary said he hosted a show last night and the guys came in and they a really are low maintenance. He said that they seem like they're really just having a good time. Jon said they could just lock up and say they're done. He said they put on a great show though. He said Brian just seems like a good guy.
Will said the thing you don't realize is just how small they are. He said they're tiny like leprechauns or something. Jon played a clip of the guys talking to Howard about Brian's first time on stage.
Jon said that Brian getting into the band seems like the most seamless transition in a band. He said that Angus is amazing the way he plays during a show. He said he never lets that guitar go either. Gary asked if he still wears that outfit. Jon said he's not sure. He said Gary saw him last night. Gary said they weren't performing though. He said they were just doing a listening party. Jon played a clip of Angus talking about how much he plays guitar.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he thought AC/DC was great on the show today. He said he's seen them a million times. He said he took his wife to see them on their honeymoon. He said his wife won't let him live that down. He said Howard did a great job with them and the interview was great because they didn't hold back. Jon said they won't disagree with him there.
Jon said that you can tell people still get charged up for a band like that. He said you wonder why more bands don't play that kind of music. Gary said the listening party they had last night was in a big club. He said what they got to see was some AC/DC pictures with the new record being played. He said 2,500 people showed up for that so their fans are very loyal.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he wishes they'd do more sports talk. He said if they did it once a week he'd tune in for that. He asked Jon about the Detroit Lions. Jon said he didn't want to turn it into a sports show but he went over what he thinks about the Lions this season. They spent a short time on that. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Jon said he doesn't think height limits the way he does his job. Ronnie said you need half a brain to be a security person.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Al Michaels is a professional. He said he looks forward to his interviews. He said he found it disappointing that they think Pete belongs in the hall of fame. Jon said he understands that he gambled on his team and all of that. He said the guy has been out for how long now? He said he's not a Pete Rose fan and he didn't root for the Reds. He said he is a legend in the game though. He said he served his time and he should be in. Gary said that there is no proof at all that he manipulated a game at all for a bet.
Jon asked Ronnie how he feels about that. Ronnie said he thinks he had a great career and he sees him sitting in a sports bar hoping that people will ask for an autograph and it's sad. Gary said that Pete does a signing around the block from the hall of fame inductions and that's when it's his time. Ronnie said he's seen him doing autograph signings and no one really cares. He said it's just sad.
Jon said that he never got Ronnie's opinion on Shuli taking paternity leave. Ronnie said he thinks that 30 days is a bit long. He said he gets that he wanted to spend some time with the kid but for a guy a week or 10 days at the most is what they should do. Jon asked if he took time off when his kids were born. Ronnie said he can't remember back that long. He said he was self employed at the time so he had to do the work. Ronnie said he took one day off and that was it.
Gary asked Jon if he was in the room when his kids were born. Jon said he was. Gary said he was too. He said he remembers that people were still wondering why they wanted to do that at the time. Now it's a regular thing. Jon said he saw his wife go through all of that and it's something he'll never forget.
Lisa G was in and asked Jon if he took any time off. Jon said he may have taken one day off. He was back to work the next day.
Lisa asked Gary if he took time off. Gary said he may have taken one day off for Jackson and maybe a day or two for Lucas. Gary said that his day off was to get his wife home from the hospital but it wasn't a month.
Lisa asked what Howard did. Gary said that he's not sure. Ronnie said he can't remember. Jon said they should ask Bobo since he was there.
Jon asked Lisa to give them her headlines. Lisa ran down a few things they had coming up today. Lisa also got in a plug for Leiberman Live which is on at 4:45pm. Jon got in some plugs for Sternthology and let the other guys get in some plugs before ending the show around 11:05am.
Gary asked JD if his was a pity fuck. JD said he doesn't think so. Jon asked JD how he found the girl. JD said he had talked over Myspace. Gary asked how old JD is. JD said he was 25 at the time. He said they talked for a bit and she knew Dennis from the Bunny Ranch and she came up with them even though she wasn't a Bunny Ranch girl. He said that's how it went down.
Jon asked JD if he was leery of her. JD said he was a little bit but not as much as he is now. Jon said this was before the fame thing. Jon said that's what JD is saying, not him. Gary asked if he was on the air and known as the guy who hadn't had sex yet. JD said he thinks so. Jon asked if it lived up to his expectations. JD said he didn't remember what they were. He said that he had only ever done it by himself before. JD said it must have lived up to his expectations. He said they met up the night before and walked around. He said they went to dinner and then went back to his place.
Gary asked how long it lasted. JD said it was a few minutes. Jon said that's pretty impressive. He said it's usually seconds. Gary said if he broke 10 seconds himself then he was a champ. Gary asked if he felt a rush like a rolling roller coaster. JD asked what song he's doing there. Gary said it's ''Oh What a Night.''
Jon asked JD if he did a second time with that girl. JD said he thinks so. Jon asked if he stayed in touch with her. JD said he did kinda. Jon asked if they ever met up again. JD said maybe. He didn't remember.
Jon said with Hanzi it's almost immortalized. He said you definitely get a renewed sense of confidence when you get it finally. Gary said he remembers his first time but also remembers the amount of time after that before it happened again. He said he was in first class and then moved back to coach.
Gary said the girl he lost his virginity to was someone he knew in grade school. He said she was kind of fat but had a cute face. He said he met her later on and she was smoking hot and out of his league. Jon said that's a great way to start.
Jon took a call from a guy who said this is his first time getting through so he's going to get out a lot. He told Gary how great he is and how great Jon is. He said JD is a funny mother fucker. The caller said they're a fucking riot but Benjy is the funniest fucker on the show since Artie left. He said he got a big revelation from her about her cheating on every guy she's ever been with.
Gary said he thought that was interesting but it wasn't a giant revelation. Gary said Benjy threw a bunch of darts at the wall and hit on a few things. He said it was interesting though. Jon said they will talk about things that they've talked about in the past and people put it in the present tense. Jon said that they don't know what happened with her and the boyfriends. Jon said that Benjy wouldn't let go of that for the next 15 minutes. He said that's the problem. He said you have to let the person move on to something else. He said you can circle back to it later on like Howard does. He said he thought that's what sunk Benjy in the interview.
Gary said he heard that Whitney Cummings had interviewed Beth on AOL and he found out that she hasn't driven a car in 25 years. Jon said a lot of people who live in the city don't drive. Gary said he can't imagine not driving for 25 years though.
Jon asked JD how much he drives. JD said he doesn't drive much. He said he did recently and he was kind of nervous. He said he got right back into it though. Gary asked how far he went. JD said it was probably 10 minutes. Jon asked if it was stick. JD said he doesn't know how to drive one. Gary said he learned by buying a stick. Jon said he can drive a stick and he enjoys it.
JD said he was driving because when you're with a girl the guy will usually drive. Jon said he doesn't have to. He said some people think that's a little sexist. JD said it's not sexist. JD said his girlfriend has driven because she's the one with the car. Jon said he likes to be the one driving.
Gary asked if his wife offers to drive and he takes her up on it. Jon said he won't let her drive. Gary said he will let his wife drive and he actually feels safer. Jon said he doesn't.
Gary said that he drove with Jon once and he's the worst tailgater in the world. Jon said his wife is going to hear that and go off on him about that. Jon said that the left lane is the passing lane and you should get out of the way if you're in the left lane and someone is behind you. He said that they were in a rush that day too. He said he will take his moods out by driving fast. He said that he'll do that to get his mood out and it's his passive aggressive way of doing it.
Gary said he will flash his lights in the morning when he's going to work. Gary said if he gets flashed he gets angry. He said most people will just move over. Jon said if someone doesn't get out of the way he will tailgate them. He said he will pass on the right and eventually cut them off and hopefully they'll learn their lesson. Jon said he has driven JD many places and many times. He asked if he thinks he's a poor driver. JD said he's an aggressive driver and he loves it sometimes.
Gary said for the longest time Jon would drive out of his way to pick JD up and drop him off like he was his kid. He said that it's like a father and son thing. Jon thanked him for pointing that out. Jon said JD lived in an area that he had to go out of his way for but he likes JD and likes talking to him. Jon said he was happy to do it. He said he gets to hold that over his head too. JD said he's offered him money and he refuses to take it. Jon said there are other people he drives that have never offered to pay. Gary asked if Sal ever has. Jon said he did once but he thinks that's about it. Jon said they have some great conversations in the car though. He said they had to take a break after that.
Jon asked Gary about how many times he's seen Springsteen. Gary said he's been maybe 65 or 70 times. He said Ross has been about 200. Jon said he has gone to see Rush a bunch of times but he won't go a bunch of nights in a row. Jon said that a lot of people shit on the band and everyone there bonds because they all love the band.
Jon asked JD if there's any band like that for him. JD said he likes a lot of bands like Metallica and Nine Inch Nails. He said he's been to some Christian band concerts with family. He said his first concert was a Metallica concert. He said that was pretty intense. He went with his dad so Jon asked how that was. JD said it was good that he was around because there were some crazy people around. He said he was 14 at the time.
Gary said he went to see Led Zeppelin for his first concert. He said that was in 1975 and he was in 8th grade. He said that the concert was great.
Jon said he saw America for his first concert. Then he saw Crosby Stills and Nash. Gary said he saw Jethro Tull for his second concert. He said that was about 3/4 full and it wasn't as crazy as Led Zeppelin. He said they don't all have that kind of energy that Zeppelin had. Jon said that the band has to bring it. He said some bands just stand on stage and perform. Gary said that don Henley had a good lighting guy who made the show look amazing even though he just stood there.
Jon took a call from a guy who told them when his first time was. He said it was at The Pines. He said that was a bad motel. Gary wasn't familiar with that one. He said he knows of places that sound similar to that. Jon said that there are a lot of those around. Jon asked JD if he knew of anyplace like that. JD said if there was he didn't know about it. Jon said a lot of people went to the Mt. Airy Lodge in the Poconos when he was growing up.
Scott Salem came in so Jon asked if he ever went to see Jethro Tull. Scott said he went to see them 3 or 4 times and the venues were full when he went. Jon asked if he plays air guitar. Scott said he played air flute. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Gary said Scott is a Tull fan and a Chicago fan. He also bought a box set of Barry Manilow. Scott said he might have. He said in the 80s and 90s he was part of the voting group that voted on the Grammys. He said he would order as much as he could to just have it. He said he could get stuff for a dollar and it was worth it. Jon said that would make him a fan if he bought a box set. Gary said that his brother got Gary Lewis and the playboys Greatest Hits as his first album. He said that was thanks to his brother getting stuff from Columbia House.
Jon asked Scott about dealing with Howard Cosell back in the days when he worked at WABC. Scott said he was on an ISDN line and they could hear him talking to his wife and grandson. He said he wasn't the friendliest person you'd meet but he was more human when he was with his family. Gary asked if he ever heard him yelling at his wife. Scott said he didn't but he did hear Cosell yelling. He said one of the funniest things he ever said was something about one of the girls they had working there. He said she had huge tits and Cosell said ''What a set of tits on that one.'' Scott said he was very not friendly when he would come in to record stuff live. He said he always had a cigar in his mouth too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he has to congratulate Gary for the shows this year. He said they've been great. He said that he knows it's a team effort though. He said that he bets next year will be even better. Gary said they have more great guests coming up this year. He said they're not done yet.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked how many times Jon Stewart said ''Yeah, yeah, yeah...'' Gary said he didn't notice it until someone told him about it on Twitter. Jon said he thinks that Jon was excited about the conversation he was having. He said Jon is a fan of the show and he hadn't been there for a long time. He said he got excited about sharing. Jon played a clip of Howard and Jon talking about his possible retirement.
Jon asked Gary if he can see Howard letting it go and saying he's just done with radio. Gary said he can't see the day coming but he can see Howard doing it eventually. He said he may pop by and do a show here and there. He said he thinks Howard is going to let the legend live and just go off into the background like Carson. He said he may lay low.
Jon said Howard talks about how angry he is all the time. He said he wonders if it will go away once he stops doing radio. He said he doesn't want it to stop though. Jon asked Scott if he thinks that when he retires he'll let go of some of that anger. Jon said he thinks that people do have tension at their jobs. Scott said he sees some tension being received but then there are other things you have to figure out for the rest of your life. He said he hopes he can do that in his life. Jon said he gets that. He said his dad was a workaholic and he could never see the day when he would stop working. He said his dad stopped and he was done. He said when he sees Howard contemplating it he doesn't know. He said he thinks Howard loves doing the show. He wonders if he can shut that off and stop doing it. JD said he can see it both ways. He said he thinks he can see him saying he did his thing and he's done.
Gary said he wonders about Howard being obsessed with is weight because he's in the public eye. He said if he goes off and retires he may get chubby. He said that's what Carson did. He said he didn't get fat but maybe Howard would do that too. He said if he's not in the public eye then maybe he won't care. Jon said he thinks that he'll keep doing it because he wants to live a long life. Gary said he thinks that he can treat himself to a couple of things.
Jon asked Gary if he would do that. Gary said everyone does take pictures and shares them on the internet. He said that's why he tries to stay in shape. Jon asked JD if he thinks about it. JD said he does but only when he sees pictures that people put out there.
Gary said when JD goes to an event then he knows people are going to photograph him. Jon asked Scott if he's that way at all. Scott said he's been wearing casual clothes all his life. He said he wants to look okay. He said he tries to maintain a decent appearance. Jon asked if he will let himself go at all. Scott said he doesn't think so. He said he won't let himself go totally. He said he will try to maintain a reasonable amount of health.
Jon asked Shuli to save them with his Howard 100 News preview. Shuli ran down a few headlines they'll have on today's news. He mentioned one thing about Ronnie celebrating 29 years at the show. Jon said that's an odd number to celebrate. Shuli also got in a plug for Leiberman Live. Jon got in a plugs for today's Sternthology and wrapped up the show. They were done around 11:10am.
Sal said they were going to play it by ear and see how it was going. Sal said he and Richard asked if it was the right time to do it. He said Gary said it might be the right time. He said they were going to smack their cocks against the guitar. Sal said they were ready to go and Richard had the amp and he had the guitar. He said they opened the door and Howard looked at them and waved them off. He said they were happy and ready to go in there and Howard just told them to get out.
Jon asked what they were going to play. Sal said they were going to play ''Back in Black'' and ''You Shook Me All Night Long'' He said they practiced. He said he could do it right now if he wanted to see it. Jon said unfortunately they didn't get to do that but they gave a great interview anyway. He said they give a great interview. He said they have the best attitude. Jon said they've made some classic tunes too. He said he thinks their energy is unrivaled.
Sal said he remembers listening to their song ''Back in Black'' back at the pizzeria. He said he was totally blown away by that song right away.
Jon asked who picked the songs in the jukebox there. Sal said the guy who came in loaded it up. He said his sister would pick some songs too. Sal said he picked a few. He said his dad didn't care. He said he didn't even pay attention.
Jon asked if he had to pay for the songs. Sal said he would steal the quarters out of the cash register sometimes. He said they'd put in like $30 in quarters so it would play all day long. Jon asked Sal if he knew that song was about a car. Sal said it could be a woman too. He said it's easily perceived that way.
Jon asked Sal what concert he went to for the first time. Sal said it was a Hot 97 concert and it was a whole mix of people. He said he was 17 at the time. Sal said Paul Shaffer's band was in it and Donna Summer came out and she was great. Jon asked who he was hoping to see there. Sal said he had called in and won the tickets. Sal said he thinks that helped him develop his prank call skills that he has today. He said he would dial and hold and see what happened. Sal said he'd do that over and over again. Sal said that was the only one he actually won though. He said he got through and won the tickets.
Sal said he saw Run DMC with LL Cool J and got front row to that. Jon asked if he had to wait on line for that. Sal said he got them at a record store. Sal said they got the tickets right away and it was front row at Madison Square Garden.
Jon asked if he was the president of the Beastie Revolution at the time. Sal said he may have been. He said that the Beastie Boys concert was actually the first one he went to, not the Hot 97 concert. He said he forgot about that.
Jon asked who Davey DMX was. Sal said he was an amazing DJ back then. He said that they have Skrillex now but that was the kind of DJ they had then. Sal said he was amazing.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks AC/DC is the best show he's ever seen. He said he's seen other bands and AC/DC is always the best. Sal asked if he's going to see Ace Frehley. The caller said he is not. Jon asked why he's asking about that. Sal said he just went to see him last night. The caller said he saw them with Def Leppard years ago and their lead singers both stopped singing about halfway through the concert. He said they lost it. Jon said Brian Johnson still has the pipes and he's able to go the whole night. He said Angus is a great guitar player too and he goes all night. Sal said he would say that Rush is the best he's seen. He said that because Jon is a fan. Jon said the best concert he saw was Pink Floyd. He said the stage show is amazing and he loves going to see them live. Sal said Billy Joel is great live too. Jon agreed.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about how Howard becomes a sports guy when he has someone like Al Michaels in there. Jon said that Howard has to roll with it when he has a sports guy in there. Jon said they do keep Howard up to date on some of the local sports teams. He said that Al has one of those voices that's legendary. He said as soon as you hear him say one word you're transfixed. Sal said he has a way of telling a story that's great. Jon said he loves talking about his farcical call thing too. They had to go to break after that.
Jon said Howard told him he delivered. Benjy said he did give him a B+. Jon said that once Benjy got a hold of something he didn't let go of it. He said that's the one thing that he thought was his downfall. Benjy said he does have a tendency to do that. He said in that situation he has no idea when it's going to be over or how much time he had. He said he could have more finesse if he knew he had more time. Jon said he'd think he'd want to hit more stuff if he thought he was limited on time. Benjy said he thought he had something there so that's why he kept going. He said he'll listen to it eventually and maybe learn from it.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he has been a listener of the show since WYSP. He said Benjy is one of those guys that he can love or hate. He said he gives him an A for effort but what irritated him was Ralph calling in and giving his two cents. He said Ralph has the experience and Benjy seems to be emulating Howard. He said if they were in the studio together he doesn't think that he'd do that great of a job. Jon said he thinks that Ralph would be more comfortable with Beth because he's at Howard's all the time. He said Ralph critiques everyone too.
Jon asked Benjy if he was trying to be like Howard. Benjy said not consciously. He said he may have tailored some things for his show. He said he must have some influence on him though.
Sal said Jon will never be Howard. Jon said he tries not to do that. He said that you need to put your own stamp on things. Sal said he thinks Benjy did. He said he was in a tough situation. He said he was interviewing Howard Stern's wife. that's his boss's wife. He said he thinks he handled it perfectly. He said he thinks he put Beth at ease. He said he thinks that Robin interjecting was unfair. He said it threw a monkey wrench into the mix. He said they should have stayed quiet and let him do his thing.
Jon played a clip of Robin interrupting and Benjy yelling at her to shut up. Jon said that Benjy was joking but he was also saying he wanted to keep going without hearing from anyone. Benjy said he did. He said he's talking to Jon now and it's like a truck coming in and honking its horn. He said it would make it harder to hear him. Jon said he wouldn't say that it's like a truck honking but he gets what he's saying.
Benjy said he wants to interview people. He said he thinks he's good at it and he can get better. He said he thinks there are people who would like it. Jon said he must agree that there are people who do interviews better than others. Benjy said he's going to like things that other people don't like. Benjy said that some people don't like Leno but he was tremendously successful.
Sal asked Benjy who he thinks is the most overrated interviewer. Benjy didn't have a straight answer for that. Jon said the answer is Sal Governale.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that Benjy should work on his voice. She said that she had to turn the channel because he tends to get really aggressive and in your face. She said she thinks that Howard has talked about how he worked on his voice and that's something he should consider. Benjy said that's something he can improve upon. Benjy said when he's calm people have said he has the best sounding voice on the show. Sal said he agrees. Sal said he likes it that when he's so calm he doesn't even speak.
Jon asked the caller if she thinks that's true about Benjy's voice. She said that she won't say that about his calm voice but it does sound better.
Benjy said he likes Jim from Raleigh's voice. He said that draws him in. He said it's the accent and his rhythm. He said he thinks he has a bit of that himself. Jon said they had to take a break after that.
Sal suggested taking a Frosty from Wendy's and throwing that on the guy's window. Jon asked Sal if he has ever done anything like that. Sal said he just closes his eyes when he's in the car with Jon or he might have a heart attack. Jon said Sal is a pussy. He said that he tailgates a lot and he's very aggressive. He said that he obeys the rules of the road and it makes him crazy when other people don't. Sal said that he's had to hold the steering wheel when Jon has had to text. Jon said he would never do that. He said that's illegal. Sal said he's right, he'd never do that.
Jon said he wanted to move on to something else. He talked to Benjy more about his interview with Beth. He asked Lisa G if she enjoyed it. Lisa said she didn't think she learned anything new. She said she thinks that he got off point. Sal asked Lisa if she could learn more. Lisa said she wanted to be in there and help. Lisa said she hopes that he has more respect for them now. Benjy said he had respect before. He said it's not more now. Benjy said there are things that Al Ragone can do that he can't do. He said Lisa can do things he can't do too. He said he already had that respect.
Sal asked Lisa if she thought it would be her. Lisa said she wanted to know so many things. She said she should have recorded herself talking to the radio. She said she wanted to know how she deals with Howard when he's in a bad mood and things like that.
Jon said he wanted to talk about Hanzi losing his virginity. He said that's a big deal for anyone. He asked Benjy if he remembers his first. Benjy said he does. He said it wasn't the best. He said it was fun but it was painful and he bled a little bit. He said it was fun though. He said it's a big deal when you're that age and it finally happens. Jon said you do remember it forever. Jon congratulated Hanzi for losing it finally.
Jon said they had to end the show so he had Lisa G run down her news headlines. She had a few that she ran down. Lisa also got in a plug for today's Leiberman Live. Jon got in a plug for Sternthology and the guys got in a couple of plugs as well. They ended the show around 11:00am.