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Former Football Player Jerry Rice Visits. 09/26/07. 8:35am
Howard had Jerry Rice come in and gave some of his football stats as he was coming in. Robin said he was much smaller than she expected. Howard asked Jerry if he loves hearing guys falling as they're trying to chase him. He said he did like hearing that stuff when he was playing. Howard asked him if he misses the game. Jerry does miss that.
Howard asked Jerry about his childhood and the kind of stuff he had to go through as a black kid growing up in Mississippi. He said he didn't even want to play football, he was a nerd, but he tried out for the team after the principal noticed how fast he could run. He said he felt out of his element playing the game because he was all by himself being a nerd and all. He said that he played wide receiver and defensive back at that point. He said he found the girls looking at him differently when he became a starter. He didn't get laid until he was 18 though.
Jerry told some stories about being disciplined as a kid and how his father would whip his ass with a switch. Howard asked him if he ever got aroused having that done to him. Jerry said that didn't happen, it was never sexual with him. Jerry said that the principal of his school would whip him too. He was a black guy though, it wasn't a white guy whipping him.
Howard asked Jerry about buying a house for his mother and wondered if his parents were divorced. He said that his father is deceased. He said that his father was a tough guy but he knew that he loved him even if he never said it to him.
Howard asked Jerry about his relationship with Deion Sanders. Jerry said that he was much different than he was. He said he was a great player but it wasn't all about him. He said that when Sanders went to the Cowboys, he knew that it was going to be a big rivalry. He said he was able to win some of those battles too.
Howard asked Jerry when he knew that his football career was over. He said that it was when Mike Shanahan told him he was going to be the 4th receiver. He said that he learned that he had to slow down at that point. He said that he put his body through a lot of stuff in his career and now he's promoting this new health drink Elations. He said that has helped him out with his joints and stuff.
Howard asked Jerry about the Elations drink and let him get in some plugs for the web site Elations.com and stuff. Jerry said that he thinks that he could make a return to the game after using this drink.
Gary came in and gave some of the impressive stats that Jerry has and how he should be held in the same spotlight that some of the other big players have been because he was so good. Jerry said he thinks that he's done things in his own way and he's proud of what he's done.
Howard asked Jerry about how the first time he got laid and found out she was an older woman. She was 28 years old, 10 years older than him. He said that he wasn't banging white women back then because that was frowned upon in the deep south. He said that he still hasn't been with a white woman to this day. He said he's not racist or anything but he's not curious about what that would be like.
Jerry said that he got married when he was 23 and he met her when he was 20. He said that she was much younger than him. Jerry only had two years of getting laid before he met his wife. Howard wondered if he got any other women since then. Jerry said he wasn't going to go there with him. He said that he thinks he got enough experience with other women before he met his wife.
Jerry asked Howard how long he's been married. Howard told him he was married for 20-some years and he didn't cheat at all. Now he's been divorced for 7 years and he's getting married again. Howard then asked him what kind of porn he likes to watch. Jerry does watch it and said that he's a human being so of course he watches it. He said that they watch that stuff late at night when the kids aren't around. Howard asked Jerry where he hides his porn. Jerry would only say that it's well hidden. He didn't want to give away his hiding spot.
Howard dropped the sex talk and asked Jerry about the Elations thing and also about the TV show he wanted to start a few years ago where he acts as a motivational speaker. Howard asked him about that show and what he would do with a 300 pound man who has an addiction to Hawaiian Punch and trouble with women. Artie said that they were talking about him but these people have never seen him play a down before.
Howard asked Jerry if it was awkward in the shower when he was playing. Jerry said that you just never look below the chest. Howard said he had to have looked to see how big Deion was down there. Jerry said that he would never look. Howard said that's his fear of playing sports, he doesn't want anyone else looking at his small penis. He'd be afraid of guys goofing on him for having a needle dick. Jerry said that he never accidentally looked at anyone's penis before. He said that they have had women reporters come into the locker room and he's noticed that they have some trouble concentrating.
Howard was going to take some phone calls for Jerry but he ended up talking about how so many players have health problems after playing for years. They need to get the owners to pony up and help with the health coverage. Howard took a call after that and the guy told Jerry that he's a super star in his own right. Howard said no one was arguing that. Another caller told Jerry how great he is and got the guys talking about the players who are using steroids.
The guys spent a couple more minutes talking to Jerry before wrapping up. Artie asked Jerry a question about a game he saw at Giants Stadium back in 1987. Jerry said that he thinks that his fumble during that game probably cost them the game. He said that taught him to work harder though. He said that helped him become the player he became after that.
Jerry said that he's always been clean and never even smoked weed. Artie asked him a bunch of questions about the guys he played with and if he feared anyone in particular. Jerry said he had a lot of guys coming after him and he knew when to brace himself. He said that there were some guys who were really good and wanted to take his head off. He said he remembers one game where he was dancing around, which is something he didn't usually do, and ended up getting knocked out when someone took him down. Jerry also said that Joe Montana was the best quarterback he ever worked with.
Howard told Jerry he was impressed with how hot his wife still is after all these years. He said that some women don't keep themselves in shape but his wife has. Howard gave him some more plugs for this Elations stuff and wrapped up with him a short time later. Howard threw out one last question as they were going to break and asked Jerry if he ever had a threesome. Jerry said he wasn't going to answer that one.
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THoHS:A2 - The ''U.S. Open Sores'' Event. 12/31/08. 7:55am
After the break we heard a K-Rock clip where Howard was talking about playing tennis for two hours the night before. He said that his father never played sports with him when he was growing up. Robin said she remembered a story where he played ball with him. Howard said that he wanted to play catch and ended up hitting his father in the nuts. Howard said that some kids are good at sports because their parents probably took them for tennis lessons and stuff. Howard said he doesn't know how to play.
Howard asked Gary if he knew how to play. Gary did so Howard figured he could beat him. Howard said he can tell he can beat Gary because he's such an imbecile. Howard said he did that with Raquetball. Howard said he beat Gary because he doesn't know what he's doing. Howard challenged Gary to the game.
Robin said she took some lessons and she didn't have much luck playing. Howard told Gary he's going to kick his ass and he could probably beat Jackie too. Howard said Jackie looks like a bit of a klutz so he might be able to beat him. Howard told Gary he's going to play him on Saturday morning. He said he should hold it in a big venue and charge people to watch. Gary wondered if anyone would pay to see that. Howard said he thinks they would. Howard said he'd look into that.
After that clip we heard Gary talking about how they turned something out of nothing with the U.S. Open Sores thing. He said that he had played Howard a couple of times off the air and then they turned it into this huge event.
They went into another K-Rock clip where Howard took some calls and asked people if they would pay to come see an event like that. The fans were up for it. Howard was coming up with some ideas for the event and Gary threw out the idea to have Kinison there to be the linesman. Howard said he knows he can beat Gary. Jackie said the crowd would go nuts for it.
Howard wondered who else was going to play. Robin said she and Fred could play since neither of them play. She said they could be the opening match. Jackie wondered who he would play. Howard told him to play with himself. Howard said they can get the good looking girls from the show to do stuff in bikinis. Howard said they could have Celeste with the club foot as the ball girl. Gary said they could have Siobhan as a ball girl too. Howard said he wants real ball kids and doesn't want Siobhan there. Howard said that would throw his game off.
Howard asked Gary where they could hold the event. They mentioned Madison Square Garden as one place they could try. Howard said they could charge like 10 bucks per seat.
We heard a current clip of Gary talking about how the whole event came together. Howard also talked about how they ended up booking the event at Nassau Coliseum. Howard said promoter Ron Delsner was suggested by Ross Zapin. Ross talked about hearing that conversation that day and how he suggested that Ron promote the event. Ross said that he had a relationship with this guy who worked at Nassau Coliseum and he spoke to that guy. The guy, Lance Elder, also talked about how the event came together really fast once they got it rolling.
Gary said that Ross had told him back then that he was going to work on the whole thing for them. They told Ross to talk to Don Buchwald and make the thing happen. Ross said he was only like 20 at the time and he figured he could make it happen. Gary said they presented Don with the deal and the next day they were ready to announce that it was a done deal and they were going to be doing this event.
They played another K-Rock clip where Howard was talking about the names they could call the event. They were thinking ''The Bush Open'' or the ''U.S. Open Legs.'' Howard told Gary not to practice before the event because he doesn't want him getting good. Gary said that he will never hear the end of it if he does lose.
Howard had taken a call during the conversation. The caller said that he would try to come out for the event. Howard told him to get his tickets fast because it's going to sell out. The caller said he liked the name ''U.S. Open Sores'' the best out of the list he had read. Howard said he wasn't sure about that and had some others that he liked. Howard said he liked the ''U.S. Open Beaver'' or ''U.S. Beaver Open.''
After that clip they had Howard talking about that event and how he doesn't really do live events like that. Howard said he knew that he could beat Gary though so he had to go through with this game. Robin said that they did sell the place out when they did the special. Lance Elder said that they sold out in an hour and a half. He and Ross were tickled when that happened. Ross said that was the easy part, then they had to figure out what they were going to do.
Fred said that it was amazing that they sold out Nassau Coliseum and it may have been a little bit large for what they were doing. He said that it was great to hear all of those people cheering for them though. Fred said that it definitely gave you a chill being there.
Gary said that Howard anted it to be worth what they were charging people so they had a ton of guests show up. We heard from Howard talking about how it was probably one of the worst nights for him. He said it was a one shot deal for him and he had to make it good. They weren't used to doing that stuff though.
Robin said that they came up with the idea to have someone perform the National Anthem and they had this woman Celestine do it. She had no arms or legs and she played a Casio keyboard with her tongue. Robin said that's what they did.
They played a clip from the U.S. Open Sores tape where Celestine played the National Anthem with her tongue. Howard said that Francis Scott Key had just passed out when she started to play the song.
The event took place on October 7, 1989. We heard from Artie talking about how his cousin's wedding was that day and he remembers it well. Artie said that he missed the event and he was trying to find out from friends who had won, Gary or Howard. Artie said that he may not have been able to get tickets to the event anyway but he had to go to that wedding.
Howard talked about how great it was doing the event at a sold out Nassau Coliseum. Howard said it really was fun. Jessica Hahn said that it was huge and that's when she knew that Howard was going to be really huge. She said that the audience loved him and they did a lot of crazy things that night.
Jim Forbes introduced a behind the scenes moment where Sam Kinison talked about paying his own way out there to do the event. He said he didn't even have a car to pick him up and bring him there. Sam said he was out like $7,000 to do this event. Sam said that Howard would probably show up if he asked him to do something to help him out. Sam said this was his way of blackmailing Howard into doing something like that in the future.
We heard a current clip of Howard talking about how he thought people were going to be disappointed when they saw him playing tennis with Gary.
They played some more of the U.S. Open Sores audio where Billy West was doing a voice over for the tennis match.
Jim Forbes said that the plan for topless ball girls had to be squashed. Lance Elder talked about how they got a call from the police saying that they wouldn't be able to do the topless thing because it was against the law. Lance said he called Howard and told him about it and they eventually found out they could put pasties on the girls. Howard wasn't happy about that because he wanted to see them au natural.
We heard more of the U.S. Open Sores audio where Gary won the match. Howard had been beaten but he didn't think they were done and thought they were playing the best out of 7 games. Howard and Gary went at each other a little bit goofing on each other.
We heard a current clip of Howard talking about how he had a fever that night and how irritated he was by the whole thing. Howard said that he ended up playing Gary at home a few weeks later and ended up beating him there.
Gary said that he remembers Fred as Kurt Waldheim Jr. that night and how funny that was. Fred said he remembered doing that and he brought out a very special guest with him. Fred said he didn't think of it until that day and it was one of the rudest things he had ever done in his life. Fred said that he was looking at an ashtray and thought about the Nazi thing he was doing and that led to his bit. Gary said that it was Yom Kippur weekend and Fred had asked him to get him an envelope of ashes for this bit he was doing.
They played a clip from the U.S. Open Sores thing where Fred introduced Anne Frank to everyone by spilling the ashes all over the place.
They had Fred talking about how the audience reacted and how fun that was. Gary said that Fred also said ''Fuck you Ron Delsner... Happy Yom Kippur.'' Gary said that was a great moment.
We heard a K-Rock clip where Howard was talking about the bits that people wanted to do there at the event. They had this guy Vinnie D'Amico who was going to eat a mouse. They had the pet police show up to make sure that didn't happen.
Lance Elder talked about how Vinnie got very indignant when they put the flames out. He said Vinnie wanted them to let his head keep burning.
We heard another behind the scenes clip of Ted the Janitor talking about what he would do to Robin if he could be with her.
Ross Zapin said that back stage was a wild place to be that night. He said it was really fun and wild back there. Lance Elder said that the girls were back stage not wearing anything back there. Lance said that they were getting it on with nothing on. He said that Howard's parents were there too and he's not sure how they would show up at those events.
Ben Stern said that Stuttering John's mother came over and introduced herself to them as ''Stuttering John's mother'' which they found kind of odd.
We heard another behind the scenes clip where Howard's sister Ellen met Sam Kinison back stage. Sam sounded very happy to have met her.
Then they played a clip from the U.S. Open Sores tape where Howard spoke to Jessica Hahn in front of the crowd there. Howard asked her if she had run into Sam back stage. Jessica said that he had security people around him so she didn't get close to him. Howard said he wanted to bring them back together and the crowd cheered him on when he suggested bringing him out. Jessica said that they could see what happens when they bring him out. Howard had Sam come out and the crowd went wild. Jessica started to insult Sam but Sam said that he was trying to be nice and didn't want to try and match wits again.
Howard asked Jessica why she was upset that Sam had girls with him. Jessica said that he should do some things on his own once in a while like she does. Sam said that maybe he fell asleep inside of her because he didn't have anyone else to talk to that night he was with Jessica. Sam, Jessica and Sam's girls were all arguing up on stage and goofing on each other.
After that clip we heard Ross Zapin and Lance Elder talking about the end of the event where Leslie West and Sam Kinison performed a song together. Ross said that people started jumping over the hockey boards and wanted to get close to Leslie. The fans emptied the stands and went out on the floor. Howard said that he remembers everyone rushing the stage and thinking that he was going to die that night. That led into a clip from the event where Leslie started to play with Sam singing ''Wild Thing.'' Howard talked about how great the event was and how he had a sense of not knowing what he was doing there with a live event. He said that they did put on another live event one time and that was fine but playing tennis on TV was kind of ambitious.
We heard another behind the scenes clip from back stage at the event where Howard was going around interviewing people like Ron Delsner. They went to break a short time later.
George Foreman Calls In. 4/23/97. 7:30am
Boxer George Foreman called in to talk with Howard for a little bit this morning. He was plugging a fight that he'll be in on Saturday night. The fight will be on HBO at 10:00 pm Saturday. George spoke a little bit about being a preacher and about the old days when he used to fight Mohammed Ali.
Baseball Player Mickey Rivers Calls In. 10/29/03. 7:30am
After the break Howard said that Pamela Anderson is on his E! show tonight. He then moved on to say that they're going to have this guy Mickey Rivers on the phone. He said he's helping him out because he's bankrupt. Howard said they were having some trouble locating the guy so he had to kill some time talking about some other stuff.
Howard said he watched the American Radio Awards and Casey Kasem looked awful. He said he can barely speak around those teeth he has in his mouth. They spent a short time on that before Mickey called in.
Mickey was on the line to talk about his book ''Ain't No Sense Worryin: The Wisdom of Mick ''the Quick'' Rivers.'' Howard said he heard that he has like 40 kids. Howard went on to ask Mickey about his career in football and then baseball. He said he injured his back playing football so he moved on to baseball. Howard asked him why people called him a ''Gozzle head.'' Mickey said it was just a nickname that came from the guys in the locker room. Howard said he thought it sounded a bit racial to him but Mickey said it wasn't like that. Mickey told them about some of the other nick names they had for some people. He said there was one guy they called Mail Box head and another one was Fence Post Lips. Artie seemed to find that one pretty funny. He was laughing hysterically after hearing that.
Howard moved on to ask Mickey about all of the money he made playing baseball. He was a millionaire at one point but he got married like 10 times and lost it all. Howard said you'd think that after 5 marriages you'd give up on that. Mickey said he got married at 19 or so for the first time. He got this girl pregnant right after high school. He said they didn't talk about rubbers back then so that's how he got this girl pregnant. He didn't seem to care about how many kids he had. Mickey said he thought he was going to pull out but it didn't always happen that way. Now he has 40 kids out there. Robin wondered how he sees all of those kids. Mickey said he just stays in one spot and lets them come see him. Howard asked if he knew all 40 of their names. Mickey said that he doesn't remember them after they turn 17 or 18. He said he gets birthday cards from his kids from all over the state. He said he stays pretty close with his kids. Howard and Robin wondered if anyone ever tries to fool him with other people's kids. Mickey told Howard that they did try to fool him one time with some other kids.
Howard read that one of Mickey's wives sold his World Series rings. He said she'd taken them and put them in a safe deposit box. When they got divorced, she sold them. Howard spent a little while talking about that and then gave him another plug for his book. Robin asked Mickey what age range his kids are. He said he has kids from the age of 10 to 37.
Howard gave Mickey a few plugs for his book and how to get into his baseball clinic. You can find out more by e-mailing ASaverino@aol.com. Howard took some phone calls for Mickey after that. A few people were goofing on Mickey. Some people said they couldn't understand a word he was saying. One guy asked him how long he had those baseballs in his mouth and if the book comes with an interpreter. A few other guys said that he sounded like a punch drunk boxer, not a former baseball player. Howard wrapped up the interview shortly after that.
Howard said he could barely understand half of what Mickey said. He asked Artie if his book is written in that voice. Artie said it is kind of like that. They all agreed that they have to get him to come in the studio to see what the guy looks like.
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In the first clip we heard Nils in studio with Howard. Howard said he thinks he could beat Nils in basketball. He challenged Nils to a game and wanted to tape it. Nils was up for it and said he's pretty good at it. Nils said he's going to beat Howard. Howard said all he has to do is dribble to the basket and he'll beat him. He said he'll just stand there and watch him take a shot. He said he's going to humiliate him. Howard said he has the ability to dribble so he thinks he'll be able to beat Nils. Howard said Nils is an elf compared to him. He said he's in over his head.
Robin said she was going to bet Howard 200 bucks that he'd lose. Gary took $500 on Nils. Howard sounded shocked. Howard said he's going to kick his ass. Howard said he's 6'5'' tall so he has to beat him. Nils said he's only 5'3'' tall so he's a full 14 inches taller. Howard said everyone is nuts. He said he has to beat him. Howard said he'd take all of the bets from anyone who wanted to bet against him.
After an edited out break Howard got back to the betting and said he would bet Nils. Nils was only willing to bet $100. He said he's not making the kind of money Howard is making. Howard said he'd take that bet. Howard called Nils a bit of a pussy for only betting $100 so Nils upped it to $500.
Gary said he talked to Dominic Barbara and wanted to put up $5000 for a charity game. Howard told Gary that it's just going to be him and Nils.
Fred was trying to find out how conditioned Nils was. Nils told him that he's not conditioned and he's 14 inches shorter than Howard. Howard was trash talking Nils for quite a while. He said he's got to beat the guy being so tall. He said he will smash the guy.
In another clip Howard started his show talking about how he was going to be taping the basketball game and how Nils thought he was out sick this morning after Fred didn't play some bits at the start of the show. Howard said he hates taping the TV show on a Tuesday. He said he has to do the show and then take a nap after the show. He said it's going to be a long day.
Howard talked about the rules they were going to have with the game and how he was planning on tripping the guy if he tries running past him.
Howard took a call from Nils who said he has to fly in from DC for this game. Nils said that's good because he'll be cranky like him. Howard told Nils he's allowed 5 fouls. Nils said they should play to 25 then. Howard said for TV purposes they're only going to play to 11. Howard said they'll be there all day if they play a full 21. Howard said Nils wants to play a full game but they're taping it for a TV show. Howard said it's going to take too long to do a full game. Nils said the game will be over in no time. Howard said they'll have to see what happens. Howard said they'll see what happens with the game today.
Howard and Nils went back and forth trash talking one another for a couple of minutes. Howard said Nils thinks he's going to take long shots. Nils asked Howard how he's going to stop him. Howard said he can't be off court when he shoots. He said he has to be within that half court line.
Nils told Howard he was on the court playing his son. He said that his son is very tall like Howard. He said he's his step-son actually. He said he destroyed him and the kid is good too. Howard said ''Uh oh.'' Nils said he has two secret shots that he's going to use. He said once Howard sees them then he'll know. Howard asked what they are. Nils said he has one from the right that banks off the glass. He said it's kind of a jump shot that's at a high angle. They spent a little more time talking about the game and Howard let Nils go a short time later.
In another clip Howard talked about how he got killed by Nils Lofgren in the basketball game. Howard said that little bugger can really throw the ball. Robin said she wishes she could pull the tapes. Howard said the score was 34-4 and he only scored 2 baskets. Howard said he was barely able to lift his arms after that. Howard said they called a time out for him. He thought he was going to have a heart attack.
Howard talked about what a weird guy Nils is. He said that the guy didn't get what they were doing and he was upset that they were writing rules on a cue card and things. Gary said at one point the game wasn't going the way Nils wanted it to and he was complaining about the foul rules. He said he caught Walt Frasier's ear and complained to him. Jackie said he would have been so upset if he had lost. Gary said he was upset with himself for not scoring more than he did in the first half.
Howard had Nils on the phone and Nils said the score was 36-6. Howard said it was 34-4. Nils was complaining about the ball they used and things like that. Howard said this guy was back stage bumming people out. He was saying he was only there to play basketball and not be on a TV show. Howard said Nils is a little, tiny guy who really needs to prove himself every step of the way. Howard said Nils beat him 34-6. Nils said it was 36-6. Howard said he'll give him that. He said he's really a guy who worries about everything. Robin said that is so true. Robin said she was talking to the producer and she had to talk him down because Nils was freaking him out.
Howard also said that Nils took that money from him. Howard said he never would have taken money from Nils. He said the guy is so uptight. Howard said Nils has no sense of humor. Nils said Howard has gotten more angry and mean over the years and he's not as funny as he used to be. He said he's not as consistent as he used to be. Howard said Nils new album sucks. Nils said he can handle it. Howard said he doesn't care about the game that much. He said he doesn't take it that seriously. Howard said he's sorry he said that about his music. He said it's actually good. He said he feels bad about that.
Nils said Howard is more nasty as he used to be and he has told him that he doesn't try as much as he used to. Howard said he's going back to saying his album sucks. Howard said he doesn't like Nils anymore and their friendship is over. Howard said he bets that he and Bruce used to sleep together. Nils said he's pretty easy going and he won't find many people like that. Howard said Nils isn't fit to judge his sense of humor. Robin said he's a cruel man.
Howard said if Nils had lost the game he would have been crushed. Robin said they wouldn't have heard from him if he had lost. Howard said Nils needs a good therapist. He said he has issues. Nils said he's going to take a vacation with the money he won. Howard said he might go off the edge if he doesn't get some help. He said he sees what drives him.
Nils was goofing on Howard about his hair and the guy who was following him around with the make up. Howard and Nils went back and forth goofing on one another about their height and looks. Nils said his producer came up to him and said that he didn't want his artist humiliated any more. Howard said he can see him saying that. He hung up on Nils a short time later and said that he's banned from the show from now on.
In the clip we heard Howard bring Dennis Rodman in for an interview. Howard and Dennis talked about him not getting along with his teammates and things like that. Howard asked if he's well hung. Dennis said he's doing alright down there.
Dennis told Howard he's just doing what he has to do out there. He said things aren't the same as they used to be. Howard said people are into what Dennis is doing out there in the game. He said they like his look and his crazy hair and stuff like that.
Howard asked Dennis if he likes Robin. Dennis asked if she likes polishing the chrome. Robin said she doesn't do any polishing. Howard said Dennis is coming on to her. Robin didn't care. She told him to bring it on.
Howard asked Dennis about being with Madonna and how he met her. Dennis said he went down to her house. He said she has a nice spread down in Miami. Dennis said they hit things off down there.
Dennis told Howard he pierced his penis. Howard asked who did it. Dennis said it was a guy. Howard asked how long that took. Dennis said it was lie 2 seconds and it didn't hurt at all. Howard asked how soon after he was able to have sex. Dennis said it was like 2 days. He said he likes to feel the pain. Howard said he couldn't do it. Howard said he wonders how you make a move on someone like that. Dennis said he never even thought to meet Madonna. He said she's a cool chick though. Howard asked if he nailed her. Dennis said he did.
Howard asked Dennis about the book he's writing and what he'll reveal in there. Dennis said he won't reveal the women he slept with. He said he can't do that. Howard asked how old he was when he got his first white woman. Dennis said when he started playing basketball. He was getting them. He didn't start playing until he was 21.
Howard asked Dennis about getting arrested and what happened there. Dennis said he had $50,000 in stolen watches in his pocket. He said he only had to do about a week in jail for that. Howard asked how he became a basketball player. Dennis said something just hit him and he realized he had to do something with his life. That's when he started playing.
Howard asked Dennis about playing ball and how the white women worked into that. Dennis said he was with all kinds of women. He said he got his first white woman at 22. Howard asked how long it took him to get good at the game. Dennis said he would go out and play for 5 hours a day in the courts behind the projects. Howard said that must have been good when he finally got that white woman. Dennis asked when Howard had his first black woman. Howard said he hasn't had one.
The guys spent some time talking about Dennis going to a psychiatrist and getting some help for not being able to deal with the fact that he's getting screwed by his team. Howard said he would probably do the same thing if he was in his position.
Howard spent a little more time with Dennis and then wrapped up. Howard told Dennis about how lovely Robin is and had her come in the studio. Robin didn't want to but she eventually did. Howard said he can tell she likes him. Robin and Dennis met and Robin had to tell him to stop doing something. Howard figured he copped a feel.
Howard asked if Dennis was wearing any underwear. Dennis said he wasn't. Howard said he could see he was aroused. Dennis said of course he was.
Gary said Dennis had a cool move. He said he asked Robin out and his manager had a card for her with Dennis' information on it. Howard had the manager come in so he could ask him about that. The guy, Dwight, came in and told Howard what he does for Dennis. He said he sets up his social engagements. He said he's like a juggler. Howard thanked Dennis for coming in and thanked Dwight too.
Howard asked Robin if she was willing to go out with Dennis. Robin said she likes him and he is a very good looking man. Gary said he thought she wasn't going to date any guests of the show. Robin said he's not a guest.
Howard asked Dennis about a lawsuit he had where a woman claimed that he had herpes. Dennis said that he got out of that case but she didn't pay his lawyer fees. Howard didn't think that was fair.
Howard asked Dennis more about being with Madonna and if she made him wear a condom. Dennis said she did. Howard asked Dennis if he's putting money away for himself. Dennis said he is. Howard went over what they learned today and then wrapped up and went to break.
Warren Sapp Visits. 08/20/12. 8:15am
After the break we heard a prank call Richard made to a guy as if he had gotten his number at a gay bar the night before. Fred also played The Beatles ''Come Together'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that Warren Sapp is there and he has a book out called ''Sapp Attack: My Story.'' Howard said he looks like a woman next to this guy. Warren told him to stop that. Howard said he thinks Warren could make him pregnant because he's so manly compared to him.
Howard said Warren wrote this new book that's out tomorrow. Howard said that he was born in Florida. He asked if he started playing football right away. Warren said that his mom didn't want him to play because he was his mama's baby. He said that he got lucky when he was like 14-15 years old and this guy told him he was going to play football. He said he had to call and ask his mom if he could do it. He said that she finally gave him permission.
Howard said you have to be fast when you play. Warren said that he thinks he's a small, fast guy but he's big. Howard said he is fast though. Howard asked where he went to school. Warren said he went to school in Miami. He said that they thought that he could play and also get an education.
Howard asked if tons of colleges were after him. Warren said they were. He said he knew he could get a scholarship and get an education too. He said he never thought he was going to be so good. Howard asked when he got girls. Warren said he lost his virginity after playing a game one night when he was in high school. He said he didn't get that much in college. He said he was in Coral Gables and he was away from all of the action.
Howard asked Warren if he knows where his father is and if he thinks he's a scumbag. Warren said he doesn't know where he is and he doesn't care. Warren said he knew he was a lying asshole when he was 11 years old. He said he was 30 the last time he spoke to him. That was 10 years ago. Warren said his uncle is a good guy and he never did ask him where his daddy was. He said every boy wants his mother. Warren said that he hadn't seen his father in 20 years when he finally showed up when he was 30. Warren said that his mother worked 3 jobs at times to support the family. He said his step-father is a good dude and he has been there for many years.
Warren said he told his dad that he has grandchildren that he will never know. He said he told him to leave and his dad drove away. He said his father wasn't able to form a sentence. Howard said maybe he was afraid of his size. Warren said he doesn't even know why he came to see him. He said he gave him a chance to spill his guts and nothing came out. He said it was gratifying to see the man show up and not be able to say anything.
Warren told Howard that he was chasing down a ghost he knew as a kid. He said that he knew all kinds of sports from the major networks. He said that's all he had on TV when he was growing up. Warren told Howard that in the 70s you had 3 choices. He said you were either a Giants, Cowboys or Steelers fan or a Raiders fan. He said that's all there was back then.
Howard said Warren about the draft thing and what happened with the drug test. Warren said they said he had cocaine in his blood but he has never done cocaine in his life. Warren said that they said he had 7 failed tests and he never even took 7 different tests. Howard asked if he has regrets about things that happened back then. Warren said he doesn't at all.
Warren tried to explain to Howard what went on and Howard didn't understand. Warren said he has never even sold crack. He said he didn't use cocaine. Howard said he must have been framed. Warren said that he wasn't framed. He was just lied to. Warren said that the NFL made a comment about the drug test and said there was no cocaine. Howard said it must have cost him a lot of money. Warren said he didn't have any money so it didn't cost him anything. Howard said they claim it cost him about $1.6 million. Warren said that Howard shit that much money. Warren said that they just wanted to justify why the best player in college football wasn't being drafted and they came up with cocaine. Howard and Robin didn't understand.
Howard said that Warren had to sell off a lot of stuff. Warren said he's not selling anything. Howard asked if the NFL gave him advice on money when he was drafted. Warren said that they do now. He said they give them financial advice now. Howard said he wants to tell guys like that to save their money because it's like hitting the lottery. Howard said they could live off the interest the rest of their lives.
Warren said he knows guys who lost a lot of money who had money in the bank. He said that he had some problems himself. Howard tried to find out what he invested in. Warren was giving him a hard time asking what he knew that he wanted to say. Howard said what he invested in. Warren said it was a little bit of everything. Howard said he heard he has to pay $75,000 a month in child support. Warren said that he wanted to hear how that breaks down. He was arguing with everything Howard was saying.
Warren told Howard that he had a woman accuse him of assault and he never touched her. Howard said he was cleared. Warren said she was a psycho. Howard said he must have been scared. Warren said that they claimed that they took the report at 6 in the morning but the cops didn't show up at his house until noon. He said if he had really assaulted someone they would have been at his door a lot quicker.
Howard said Warren is a big man. He said he can't imagine anyone attacking him. Warren said he had a guy trying to pick a fight with him at a pool he was at the other day. He said he asked this guy who he thought he was when he came up to him trying to talk to some women he was hanging out with. He said he didn't want to fight the guy so he called security over.
Howard asked Warren about this guy he punched in college. Warren said he hit the guy with his left hand and he's not even left handed. He said he knocked the guy out. He said he punched the guy during a basketball game. He said that he just found him in a nasty, negative mood.
Howard asked Warren why college athletes aren't paid. Howard said they generate millions for the college. Warren said he doesn't understand it either. He said they have to take care of all of the teams at the school and it requires that. He said if they're selling his jersey 10-15 years after he leaves then maybe they should be paying them. Warren said he got a letter from the NFL with a $7 check in it. He said he wrote back asking what they're trying to sell because he could do a better job with it.
Howard asked Warren if he went pussy crazy. He said he had 4 kids with 4 different women. Howard said maybe that's when he should have been wearing the rubber. Warren said he doesn't have any kids he can't pay for. Howard said he has to be tied to those women the rest of his life. Warren said he really doesn't. Howard said it must be a lot of pressure. Warren said it's fine. He said he'd tell him if he wasn't.
Howard said it must be difficult to be a dad to 6 kids. Warren said he just lives it. He said he just saw his oldest at his mom's house. He said one of the kids he doesn't see at all. He said that the other people have lives too. Howard asked if any of the kids want to play football. Warren said one of them does. He said he has never watched football with that kid. He said he wants him to play baseball instead. He said they have enough football trophies in their house.
Howard asked Warren about what's going on with the Jets and Tebow and all of that. Warren said what's going on there is horrible. He said one of the QBs is going to have to go. He said there is no way to bring in two guys and not have one leave. He said that one guy has to go. He said they can't both be healthy and keep the team healthy. He said that Tim Tebow is playing the most scrutinized position and he's got the least skills to handle it. Warren said that they think he has magic. Warren said a friend told him that Mark Sanchez is doing really good and they're all waiting on the magic thing with Tebow. He said you have to choose one because you can't have both. Warren said he thinks that they'll see a lot of Tebow out there.
Howard asked if Warren thinks it's fascinating even if it turns into a train wreck. Warren said we all love train wrecks. He said magic doesn't exist and we're all going to see it fall apart. Howard asked if taking someone down is better than cumming. Warren said there is nothing like that. He said it does feel great to take someone down.
Howard asked if he broke someone's leg if that would feel good. Warren said that it doesn't feel good. He said you don't take someone out for a whole season because that's like taking food off their family's table. He said you don't wanted that on your resume. Howard asked if he ever ended anyone's career. Warren said he didn't but he saw a lot of careers ended in high school. He said that one kid ended up with a halo on his head. He said he saw another guy's knee turned the wrong way. Howard said it's a crazy sport. He said someone his size and speed is crazy. He said that's the train wreck.
Howard asked Warren if he pulls out when he's having sex. Warren said that he must have been in there when he got those women knocked up.
Howard asked Warren if he notices other penises in the shower when he's in the showers. Warren said they do. He said they used to call one guy ''Big dick Dave'' because he was so big. Howard said one reason he didn't play sports is because he was too small and he didn't want to show it. Warren said that when he was in high school he would never shower. He said that he didn't do that until he was in college. Warren said that was just the thing they did. He said he is good sized so it's not a big deal. Howard said he has a button penis. He asked if they get made fun of. Warren said they don't discuss that kind of thing in the locker room.
Warren said when you're in the locker room you walk around in a towel. He said that you don't look at the guys when they're in the shower. He said they do know that the numbers for gay guys are 1 in 4 so they cover up in the locker room. He said if they're naked then they want to do that.
Howard asked Warren if he ever had two women at once. He said he has. Howard said that must be great.
Howard asked Warren about the TV show he does for the NFL. They spent a little time talking about that. Howard said he must have had a good time dancing on Dancing with the Stars. Howard asked if he likes that giant ass on Kim Kardashian. Warren said he likes that. He said that you put your face in there and shake it back and forth. Howard asked if he's afraid of doody. Warren said he has to free himself. Howard said he wants to do it. Howard asked if he can hold out a long time in bed. Warren said that's the object. Howard asked if he can finish in a few seconds. Warren said that can happen too.
Howard said Warren was about to tell him something about sex but he forgot what it was. Howard said it must have been about Dancing with the Stars. Warren talked about dancing with Kym Johnson and how Karina looked at him and said they would have made magic if they had been able to dance together. Warren said that if they were teamed up they might have made a baby together.
Howard said he watched him on Dancing with the Stars and he liked him on there. Warren asked if he voted for him. Howard said he never voted for anyone. Howard asked who won that season. Warren said it was Brooke Burke. Howard asked if there was anyone he couldn't stand on the show. Warren told Howard he was on with Jeff Ross and Cloris Leachman and a bunch of others. He said Cloris once dug into his food as he was eating. Howard said people get old and they think they can do whatever they want. Warren said Cloris hated Susan Lucci. He said that he probably shouldn't say that but she hated her. Howard said he wishes they would put that on TV. Warren said that wouldn't be good. He said she would walk by her and she'd have a reaction. He said it was uncalled for though. Warren said she would say whatever she wanted.
Howard said he has to wrap up even though he would like to talk to him all day. Howard asked Warren if he's single right now. Warren said no. He said it's complicated. Warren said that she lives in a different state. Howard said the long distance relationships don't last. Warren said they can work when you get older and you know what you want. He said he can be at home on Skype with her and he's fine. He said he sees her twice a month and that's enough for him.
Howard asked Warren if he thinks that they should allow women in the locker room. Warren said it's fine. He said that it's a move for the guys.
Gary came in and asked about who blew the whistle on the bounty they had on some teams. Warren said he has a source who told him that it was Jeremy Shockey who blew the whistle. Warren said that they say this is about the safety of the players but in 2009 or 2010 they asked people to come forward and say something if this was true. Howard asked why it's a bad thing to take out a player. Warren said he got to play Brett Favre a couple of times. He said that he was something to get on the ground. He said he doesn't think they need an incentive to do that kind of thing. He said it was his pleasure to take someone down. They spent a little time talking about that but Howard said he wasn't sure what Warren was saying.
Howard said he read that Bill Belichick once said that he got hard thinking about drafting Warren. Howard said he can imagine why he would feel that way.
Warren told Howard that he remembers the play that he decided to retire. He told Howard about the play and how he was playing against Brett Favre and he had a guy grab him and the guy wouldn't let him go. He said he wasn't able to defeat the blocker and he didn't want to have to face the guy on Monday. He said he wasn't able to get around this bum and that was the day he had to retire. Warren said he could have stayed in the NFL for a few more years but he wanted to get out after that.
Gary came in and told Howard that Warren has to go. Howard wrapped up and gave him some plugs for his new book ''Sapp Attack: My Story'' and some signings he's doing around the country. Howard said that you can check out Judge Sapp at YouTube.com/TheKnock. Warren said that it's his own judge show and he gets to make real decisions in real cases. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Lawrence Taylor Comes In. 12/3/03. 7:50am
Howard came back from break and brought in Lawrence Taylor (LT). He said he won't be shaking his hand though because Will was in the bathroom and saw LT not wash his hands after going to the bathroom. Robin and Artie claim that LT changed the game of football because he was so good.
LT came in and Howard asked him about the bathroom thing. He said he thought that someone was watching him. He didn't have any excuses though. Howard said Will may have been looking to see his large member. Howard then asked LT about a line in his new book ''LT: Over the Edge : Tackling Quarterbacks, Drugs, and a World Beyond Football'' about how he can give a woman ''two 8's'' but not 15 inches in his pants. Howard wondered what that means but LT didn't seem to have an answer. Robin told Howard that LT likes to be called Lawrence Taylor these days because he was LT back in the football days. Howard said he wants to interview LT though, not Lawrence Taylor.
Howard asked LT why he cried during his interview on 60 Minutes the other day. He said he really didn't cry though. Fred started playing some sad piano music in the background. Howard then read the letter that was read to him on 60 Minutes to try and get him to cry again. LT was just laughing though. Howard told him ''Go ahead, cry!'' It wasn't working though. Howard said LT cried when Mike Wallace read the same letter to him on 60 Minutes. LT said he was thinking about all of the stuff he put his family through and that's why he broke down on that show.
Howard said one of the startling revelations LT made in his book was that he got bonuses for good hits in the football games he played in. LT said that's not what he wrote and it was being mis read. Gary came in and said LT admitted to that on 60 Minutes and that he got $500,000 for breaking Joe Theisman's leg. He said there were incentives for playing well. He said they would also get fined for not doing certain things. Stuttering John came in and said that it did come across like that on 60 Minutes. Howard didn't have tape to play though so they couldn't prove it. Howard tried to calm LT down by reading that letter from his son again.
Howard asked LT about some comments he made about Boomer Esiason and if he has a problem with him. LT told him that he doesn't have a problem with him though. Howard also asked LT about the stories about how he would hire hookers to go over and tire out the other teams when they were going to play against them. LT admitted that was true. Howard said he talks about his drug use in the book and how he used crack during the football season but wouldn't do it on game day. He stopped using after getting caught on two drug tests. LT said he figured he could go back to recreational use after quitting but it doesn't work like that. He said within a month he was back to being worse than he ever was.
Gary brought tape in from LT's 60 Minutes interview where he admits to getting paid to take people out in the games. He said they weren't paid for cheap shots but they would get bonuses for taking guys out during a game.
Howard moved on to the girls that LT has had. In the book he talks about how he had 5 girls at one time. Howard asked him who they were and how he managed to do that. He said some of them were hookers. He said that was a long time ago though. Howard asked him if he used a rubber when he did that. It turns out that all 5 weren't at one time, they were probably all in a row.
Robin said she was behind LT once down in Atlantic City and he was very angry at the time. She said she was just listening and he was requesting some whores and the guy he was talking to told him that he wasn't a pimp. Howard asked him if he thinks he was a sex addict. He said anything he did was usually to excess so, yes, he was a sex addict. Howard read that one time he was handcuffed by a whore and she didn't have the key so he showed up to practice with the cuffs on. He said they had to call security to get the cuffs off.
LT told Howard and Robin about how he went to his last rehab back in 1998 and he wasn't sure where he was going. He said he met his current wife when he moved to Florida and has been with her ever since. Howard asked him if he misses getting some strange poon tang. He said he kind of does miss it but it's better this way. He said he hasn't cheated on his wife either.
Howard said LT talks about his relationship with OJ Simpson in his book. He read a line from the book that basically says he doesn't care what OJ has done, as long as he doesn't do anything to him. LT said he's can't judge someone like that. Howard told him that in the back of his mind he's got to be thinking about how OJ killed his wife. Howard asked him if he'd ever complain about his wife to OJ. LT was just laughing as he heard that. He said he and his wife have gotten together with OJ and his woman. LT said his wife doesn't get nervous around him either. He said he and OJ never talk about any of that stuff anyway because it would be too uncomfortable.
Howard gave LT a plug for his new book ''LT: Over the Edge : Tackling Quarterbacks, Drugs, and a World Beyond Football'' and asked him how many women he thinks he's banged. He said ''a couple.'' He said he's pretty dull now.
LT brought up Angie Everhart so Howard told him how she claimed in an article that he was one of the best lovers she ever had. Howard played some tape of her talking about him for a second but LT didn't hear her saying he was one of the best.
Howard wrapped up the interview a short time later. He gave him a plug for the Lingerie Bowl that will air on pay-per-view. He also let Artie ask LT a question. He asked if the Giants should get rid of their coach. LT said he doesn't think they should fire him. Howard then asked LT if OJ was right to kill Nicole. There was silence after that question. Howard took a break a short time later.
Mickey Mantle Interview From 1987. 08/27/07. 6:45am
Jon Hein introduced the next segment which was when Mickey Mantle came into the studio for an interview. Gary talked about the interview and how Howard didn't know all that much about the guy. He said he was still able to do a great interview with the guy. Jon played the clip which took place on June 24, 1987.
Howard introduced their mystery guest and had everyone in blindfolds so they wouldn't see who it was. Gary gave his first clue that he was a sports legend and Robin knew it was Mickey immediately. She said she recognized his voice and the clue that Gary gave her confirmed it.
Mickey went off on Howard for making him wait in the green room for an hour and a half. Howard started to read some of Mickey's stats since he didn't know all that much about the guy. He told Mickey that he doesn't know jack about sports because he was so uncoordinated as a kid. He said he was playing softball though so he was starting to get into it.
Howard told Mickey about playing baseball with his dad one time. He said he ended up hitting his dad in the nuts and that was the first and last time he played with him. Mickey told him he should have been a pitcher if that was the way he pitched.
Howard asked Mickey about his family and talked to him about his kids. One of his sons was 34 years old and still living at home. They talked about that stuff for a short time. Howard told Mickey that he'd be so proud of him if he were his father. He said they'd have the best time together.
Howard gave Mickey a plug for this new video he was promoting. He talked to him about some of the other things he's been doing lately as well. He went to the phones a little while later and let the fans talk to Mickey. Howard was afraid the fans were going to ask stupid questions but the fans were pretty good about not saying anything too dopey to Mickey.
Howard wrapped up with Mickey and said he had a good time with the interview. Mickey thanked Howard for having him on the show and said he had a good time there. They wrapped up a short time later.
In the clip Howard was asking David Cone about being accused of masturbating in front of some fans in the dugout. David told Howard he got out of that. David told Howard some stories about what those girls did and how he had met up with them at another time too. Howard asked David if he wears a rubber every time he's with a woman. David said he did. They spent a few more minutes talking to David before wrapping up.
In the clip Howard had Jerry Crafts on the phone and talked to him about playing football. Jerry told Howard about some of the things that were going on while he played. Jerry also told Howard that he has a small penis like Howard does. He said he has like an inch but he's 350 pounds so he must be killing something with it.
Howard asked Jerry about going out partying one night and ending up in an unknown location. Gary told Howard he heard it was a crack house. jerry said he won't confirm that. Howard said that he's all clean now and he's back to playing in the NFL. Gary told Howard that he just got his job back and this Sunday was his second time starting with the Eagles since that whole thing went down.
Howard told David to shout out his name in the middle of a game. Jerry said he tells people he loves Howard and some people love Howard with him. He said that there are some who don't like Howard but some love the show.
Wilt Chamberlain Comes Ducks Into The Studio. 2/12/97. 8:45am
Ex-Basketball star Wilt Chamberlain was in to plug his new book ''Who's Running The Asylum?''. He and Howard discussed Wilt's past sex life and how large his penis is. Wilt said that he has to have special condoms made because his pecker is so large! That amazed Howard. Wilt also said that his first sexual experience was at age 5! He says that he's slept with about 20,000 women in his life and in his book he apologizes for the way women are treated. What a nut! He gave out an 800 number just in case you want to purchase his book. The number is 800-280-1776.
The Scrapple In The Apple Begins. 05/13/1992. 4:55pm
After an edited out break Howard and the crew were at the Kings Way gym where the fight was going to be held. Howard said that the boxers weren't there yet. Frank and Geraldo weren't there but the trainers were. Howard said that some of the audience were coming in too.
Gary told Howard they had CNBC, Steppin' Out Magazine, The Bayside News and some press like that there. Howard said he might wait a while to talk to them so maybe some bigger people will show up. He asked where the other big ones were. Dan Forman said that some of them are still supposed to show up. He said he should wait a few minutes to see who shows up.
Howard was going to head down to the room to make his statement to the press soon. He said they have some judges there for the fight. He said that Len Berman is going to be calling the fight and they have some real judges there. Robin ran off the names of the judges. Howard said Geraldo and Frank will have corner men too. They talked about all of that for a short time.
Howard talked to Frank Stallone's trainer, Tom Paddy, and then Frank showed up. Frank said he wasn't looking to hang out too long out there. He wanted to say hello to everyone and go back to warm up for the fight. Howard said Ralph wanted to bet on the fight so he talked to him for a few seconds. Frank was on his way back to his dressing room and didn't want to spend time up there with Howard. Howard let him and his trainer go after that.
Howard introduced the ring announcer, Michael Buffer. Howard said that he wanted him to do one of his announcements but Buffer said that he was only good for one a day. Howard asked if he does radio stuff because he has a great voice. He said his real voice isn't like that. Howard asked if he was single. Buffer said he's been single for 20 years. Howard asked who he's dating. Buffer wasn't talking. Howard said they're looking forward to hearing him doing his announcements.
Howard said that Michael Spinks was there so he had him come up to talk to them. Howard had Spinks sit down to talk to then. Howard said it was very noisy in the gym. Howard said it's like a real boxing place. Spinks said it was actually very nice compared to the places he's boxed in.
Howard asked Spinks who he thinks is going to win. Spinks said it all depends on who wants it the most. Howard said that doesn't mean anything. He said that's a cliché. He asked Michael to come up with something better than that. Spinks said he thinks that maybe Frank will win because he's taller. Howard gave him some details about Frank and Geraldo's history and said that they both want to win equally. Spinks ended up picking Frank as the winner. He said that he thinks that Geraldo might have a chance if he can tire Frank out.
Howard had Tyrone Frazier come up next. Howard said Tyrone knows about losing. He asked Michael what he thinks he has to do to win a fight. Michael gave him some advice about keeping his head up.
Howard asked Tyrone for his prediction. He picked Frank too. Howard and Tyrone spent a short time talking about what Geraldo could do to win.
Howard heard that Geraldo was on his way in so he wanted to get him up there. Howard said he had to take a break though. He spent a little more time talking to Michael and Tyrone before doing that.
Scrapple In The Apple Press Conference. 05/13/1992. 5:15pm
After the break Howard said he was going to head out to talk to the press. They had to work their way outside to where the press were waiting. Howard said hello to everyone and some woman was giving him a hard time as he was going out there. He told her he was on the air so he couldn't talk to her. Howard made his statement to the press after that. He talked about what he's been doing in his career doing interesting stuff like this on the air and how he's revolutionized radio.
Howard was asked who he thinks is going to win. Howard said he thinks that Stallone will take it in 2 rounds. Howard talked about some of the things that the guys were going to have to straighten out before the fight too. Howard spent a minute taking a few more questions and then ran back inside.
Howard Talks To Some People In The Crowd At The Fight. 05/13/1992. 5:20pm
After an edited out break Howard was back inside for the fight. Howard said it was the Scrapple in the Apple with Frank Stallone and Geraldo Rivera. Howard said that they have a ref there and he had to straighten out the head gear and glove size discrepancies. Gary said he was back there but Frank and Geraldo weren't in a talking mood.
Howard said he saw that his agent Don Buchwald was there. They also had Geraldo's cook there. She was the woman who was bothering Howard when he went outside. Howard spent a short time talking to the woman about what he does for Geraldo.
Howard wanted to move on but the cook had more to say. She said that anyone who doesn't like Geraldo can kiss his half Puerto Rican ass.
Howard saw that Dominic Barbara was there so he asked him for his pick. Dominic picked Stallone in one round. Howard introduced some more people who were there. He quickly spoke to the doctor who was there for the fight. He also spoke to a guy who said he was in favor of wearing head gear but the two men had to agree on whether or not they were going to wear it. Howard said he thinks that they should wear head gear.
Howard wanted the guys to just agree to wear the head gear. The ref and one of the trainers were arguing over the head gear and the glove size. The ref said that he's fine if they both agree not to wear head gear. He just wants them to both either wear it or not wear it. He doesn't want one man wearing it and one not.
The arguing went on for a short time and Frank's trainer was arguing that Frank has said he didn't want head gear from the start. Geraldo is going to refuse to fight without a helmet.
Howard said the fight was getting near and Gary came over to tell him that they finally agreed to head gear and 16 ounce gloves.
Howard had Len Berman come up to talk to them for a few minutes before the fight. Howard said that Len was from the local NBC news. They spent a couple of minutes talking to him about the upcoming fight. Len said this was a career highlight for him to call this fight.
Howard and Len talked about who they think can win. Then Howard took a poll with the audience and asked, by cheers, who was with which fighter. Geraldo's chef was out there yelling again so Howard spoke to her for a few more seconds.
Scrapple In The Apple - Stallone Vs. Rivera. 05/13/1992. 9:10am
After an edited out break Howard said they were just moments away from the Scrapple in the Apple. He reintroduced Len Berman and some of the other people who were going to be judging and reffing the fight. He asked the guys for their picks once again. Howard saw that Dominic Barbara was out there sweating like crazy.
Howard asked why there was a 10 minute delay on the fight. Dan Forman said that Geraldo was still preparing to fight and he might be doing a prayer session. He also said that Don Buchwald and Dominic Barbara were upset about their seating.
Howard killed some more time talking to Len, Michael Spinks, Tyrone Frazier and the other guys he had already spoken to. They had to kill 10 minutes waiting for the guys to come out to fight.
Howard spoke to the judges quickly before getting to the fight. Then they went to Michael Buffer who was ready to do his ring announcing. Buffer introduced some people who were there in the audience like Michael Spinks. He went through some more of the judges and the referee.
Buffer then introduced Frank Stallone who was there. Geraldo still wasn't out there so Buffer couldn't introduce him right away. Michael then introduced Geraldo who was on his way into the ring. Howard said he had his head gear on already but Frank didn't.
Howard and Len talked about the weight differences and height differences between the guys. The ref told the guys to fight cleanly and listen to him and everything would be good. The fight began a short time later.
Len Berman called the fight as it began. It sounded like Geraldo was taking a beating from Stallone. Len was saying that this round was going to seem like forever for Geraldo. When the round was over everyone said that they think that Stallone had the advantage.
The second round began and Geraldo was having trouble with his head gear according to Len. Then Geraldo knocked Stallone down. Stallone came back and Len thinks he thought it was just a slip. Len said that Stallone was making a comeback. After that round Howard and the guys spent a short time talking about how that one went. They were also talking about the round card girls who were there. They still thought that Stallone took that round even with the knock down.
The third, and final, round began and Len said that Geraldo was still holding on but Frank was still doing his best to take him out. Len said that Stallone was still getting in some jabs during that round. The round ended a short time later without a knock out.
After the fight Howard made his way into the ring. He asked Frank how he thought it went and what happened with the knock down. Frank said it was a slip and not a knock down. Geraldo said that was a tough fight and he's not sure what happened there.
Howard said they and to wait for the decision. Buffer came in and announced what they had in the scores. Frank was the winner by unanimous decision. Howard brought the belt to Frank and Frank said that Geraldo has more heart than anyone he knows. He said it took balls to get in the ring to fight him. He called Geraldo over and hugged him. Geraldo said he was glad he went the distance and it was an honor to have fought him.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to the guys and they were both saying that the other fighter was great. Frank thanked all of the guys that worked with him to prepare him for the fight.
Geraldo said that they had raised over $10,000 for the charity that will be going to the retarded. Howard wrapped up and said they'd be back later to go over the betting. He had to get out of the ring to go back to talk about all of that.
Howard said he won $600 and lost $300. He said he thinks his agent is going to take 10 percent of his winnings.
Howard and Len went over the scoring of the fight and then talked to Michael Spinks about what he thought about it. They spent a little time going over all of that. They talked about what a big event it was and how much press was covering it. Howard said that Geraldo's cook was there so he asked her what she wanted to say. She said that people thought that he was going down in the first round but this proves what rice and beans can do for a person.
Howard said he's glad that Len was there to call the fight because he wouldn't have known what to say. He told Len to say hi to Chuck Scarborough since he knows him and his lovely date. Len said that they all love Howard over there at NBC. Howard said he loves them too except for when they fired him.
Robin said Fred was jumping up and down during the fight. Fred said he thought Geraldo was much better than he thought he was going to be. Fred and Jackie went over the bets they had and tried to figure out who owed who what.
Howard wrapped up and had Michael Buffer give them a special ''Lets get ready... to go home'' announcement. Howard had to read some plugs before he left so he and Robin ended up talking for a few more minutes.
Howard and Robin talked about how great the fight was. They spent a few minutes on that and also spoke to this woman Raquel who had given Howard a massage at the station one time. Howard asked when she was coming back. She said she'd be there anytime. Howard ended the show a short time later.
Today's Wide World of Stern Sports was over around 10:45am.
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Leon Spinks Comes In. 9/15/00. 7:25am
Boxer Leon Spinks came in this morning to talk to Howard a bit. Leon kind of mumbles when he talks so he's very hard to understand. Not too long ago Gary Garver interviewed Leon and most of his answers were unintelligible. Today was pretty much the same. Howard said that Leon is in the area because he's going to be appearing at the Crown Plaza hotel in Secaucus, NJ signing autographs on Saturday and Sunday between 11am and 2pm. You can find out more about that at LandOfLegends.com.
One of the reasons Leon is hard to understand is the fact that his false teeth were stolen... in 1981. Leon said that he's eventually going to have new ones made up but for now he doesn't have any. Howard asked him if they were gold teeth or something. He said they were just regular false teeth and there was no gold in there. Leon said that he lost his real teeth when he was in 7th grade. His teeth just went bad so they had to be pulled.
Howard spoke to Leon about his fight career and how he got started also. Leon mumbled through the whole interview. Howard took a few phone calls for Leon but most of them were just people goofing on Leon's speech impediment.
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In the clip we heard Howard talking to actress Gretchen Becker and comparing their heights. Howard said he can dunk. Robin said no as he was telling Gretchen that. Howard said he played college ball. Gretchen asked if that was true. Howard said he played for 2 years and hurt his leg. He was pulling her leg. Howard said he played on his college team.
Howard talked to Gretchen about dating Martin Landau and some other things. They agreed to play a game of basketball against each other. He wanted to play that day. Howard said he knows they can find somewhere to play. Howard said they could play at his gym or something. Howard said maybe tomorrow. Howard asked what she was going to wear. She said she'd have something to wear. She said women look hot playing basketball.
After a fast forward we heard Howard talking about how he was talked into playing basketball against a woman. He said he's not in good shape right now. He said he gets winded too. Howard said he'll get on the stairmaster and be exhausted. Howard said he figured they'd be playing alone but now a film crew is supposed to show up. Howard said Robin and the guys want to show up too. Howard said it's going to end up on TV. Howard said Robin is going to play against Al Roker. Howard said he'll give him a call and see if he wants to play. Howard said they're going to get some Scores girls to be cheerleader's. Howard worked on some of the other details of the game and figured out who was going to be doing what.
Howard said he's not sure he can score one basket against Gretchen. Howard said she might kick his ass. He said he and Robin could play against her and she'd probably still beat them.
After another fast forward we heard Howard talking about his game against Gretchen. Howard said she played in college so she knew what she was doing. Howard said she was real good. Howard said he was spotted 15 points and it was a 21 point game. He lost. Howard said he did a trick thing and checked the ball to her and he put it in. Howard said that's the game. Robin thought it was a trick and he shouldn't have gotten points for that. Howard said she beat him 21-17.
Howard said they played more basketball after that. He said it was all of the guys and some Scores girls playing. Howard said he was guarding Gretchen and she put her head into his throat. He said his throat hurt the whole day after that. Howard said she was playing way too serious. He said it mattered to her too much. Howard said maybe she should get competitive in business instead of on the court. Howard said he wondered what he was doing out there. He said he must be a stupid ass.
Next on The Wide World of Stern Sports we heard Dan Patrick introducing a Wilt Chamberlain interview segment from 1997. In that clip Wilt talked about the game Howard played against Gretchen. It was a short clip from February 12, 1997.
Various Stuff. 9/20/01. 6:05am
Howard changed the subject and said that Stuttering John, who doesn't golf much, made a bet with Tom Chiusano, who golfs a lot, that he could beat him at a game of golf. Howard thought John was nuts but he ended up beating Tom and won $1000! It turns out it was a one hole game but John beat him fair and square. John explained the whole thing to Howard about how cocky Tom was. Tom overshot the hole at one point and John was able to beat him by a stroke. It turns out John was drunk when all of this was going on so it makes it even funnier. John continued to goof on Tom because Tom is the stereotypical golfer and he's been playing since he was 15 years old. John told Howard how Tom dresses just the right way for the course and he had all the right clothing. Tom said losing anything to John is the worst because John will rub it in like you wouldn't believe. John said after he won he was running around in circles around Tom.
The Gossip Game With Guest William ''Refrigerator'' Perry. 1/25/02. 8:25am
Ex-football star William ''Refrigerator'' Perry came in to play the Gossip Game with Howard. Howard spoke to Perry about what he's up to now. Howard heard that Perry was broke and selling cars in Chicago. Perry told Howard he's not broke, he's got his own construction company in North Carolina and he's doing just fine. He's now separated from his wife of 20 years. He said that happened about 6 months ago.
Artie and Howard spoke to Perry about the bets they've placed on the NFL playoff games and he seems to agree with some of the bets they've got going. Perry used to play for the Eagles so he said hopes they'll win but he knows they won't.
Howard said Perry is bigger now than he was when he was in the NFL. Perry said he's weighed about 365-370 pounds when he played and he's now around 380 pounds. He claims that he really doesn't eat all that much either. He said he might have a couple of eggs and some toast for breakfast and then he skips lunch. He didn't say exactly what he eats for dinner but it must be a lot.
Howard asked Perry about women for a short time but he says he's not with anyone right now. At one point he said he may have cheated on his wife in the past but then denied that he ever cheated. He seemed uncomfortable talking about it at all. He told Howard he's hoping to get back together with his wife in the future so that might have something to do with it.
Perry was in to promote a few things too. He's appearing in the Tough Brawl 2 on the FX cable channel on February 1st. He's also got a web site where you can purchase some memorabilia and a new cooler line he's selling. That's at PakChest.com.
Howard got Mike Walker from the National Enquirer on the phone so they could play his silly game. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here's a quick synopsis of Mike's stories:
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Martina Navratilova Visits. 12/04/07. 8:40am
Howard gave Martina Navratilova an intro and talked about all of the stuff that she's accomplished in her tennis career. Howard said she was so dominant in her career that they wanted her to play against men. Artie said that she wouldn't even fit in the top 500 men players though. Howard and Robin asked him why he had to go there. Artie said he likes saying stuff like that.
Howard asked the guys to bring Martina in there, he didn't want to wait. She came in a short time later. She said that they held her up downstairs because of her ID. They didn't recognize her at the security desk. Howard introduced her to George Takei. She said she knows who he is, she used to watch Star Trek and she watches Heroes too. She said she missed the first few episodes this season so she has to get them on her iPod.
Howard talked to Martina about her tennis career and also about her being a lesbian. Howard said that he likes that she has the ability to turn a straight woman gay. He said she's had so many accomplishments in her life including dating this Judy Nelson woman. He said that she was a married woman and a former beauty queen that Martina turned gay. He said that she watched Martina play and she dumped her husband and ran off with her. Martina said that Judy pursued her and it wasn't the other way around.
Howard said he didn't want to pry into her life but he was so in awe of this whole story that he had to know more. He asked her details about how this married woman becomes gay and dumps her husband. Martina said they just went out to lunch and that was that. She said that Judy asked her to lunch from what she remembers. She said that was like 23 years ago though so she wasn't sure if that was the whole story. Martina said she rarely went on dates back then but she had a connection to this woman as soon as they went to lunch.
Martina said that Judy did have problems in her marriage before all of that happened. Howard told her that it was an amazing accomplishment. He wondered if he could turn Martina straight. She said that she may not go straight but she can be with men. It's all emotional stuff, not physical. She said that she has been able to get aroused with a man. She said that she hasn't been able to get it on with a man emotionally, that's the problem. She said that she has had a man since she was 17 and Robin said that was a revelation right there. She said she was just kidding about that.
George Takei said that this happens with all gay people. He was able to have a relationship with a woman and he loved her. Howard said he knew a guy who had sex with a woman he thinks was gay and the guy came out with a black and blue penis because she wasn't into him.
Howard said that he doesn't want Martina to seduce his woman. He asked her to promise to never do that to him. She laughed when she heard that. Howard gave her a plug for the AARP since she's now their health ambassador. Howard said that they sent him a card from the AARP when he turned 50 and it was very upsetting.
Martina said that if she could get to Artie and help him out with her health plan, she'd have him playing basketball every day. Artie said that he'd have to lose about 25 or 30 pounds before he could do that. Howard and Robin told Artie he has to start doing that now, he can't wait any longer.
Howard had Artie tell Martina what he had for breakfast this morning. He had a bagel, Hawaiian punch, a coffee from Starbucks and chocolate chip cookies. Martina said that was quite a combo. Artie went on to read Martina the list of problems he has, that were listed in Playboy. He read the paragraph where they talk about problems like:
Howard got back to Martina and asked her more about this married woman that she hooked up with. Martina said that she wasn't very proud that the woman left her husband but she did date her for 7 years after that so things worked out pretty well for them. She said that she was number 1 in tennis when they met and still number 1 when she broke up with her. She had to settle with her when they broke up even though they were just dating. Martina said that they were living together though.
Howard said that Martina dated a woman before this Judy woman and that one actually shot at her. They talked about that a little bit and Howard found out that Martina may have been cheating on that woman, Rita May Brown, when she got angry with her and shot at her. Martina said that she claimed that she wasn't aiming at her but the bullet just missed her by 10 inches or so. She said that she wouldn't have gone public with that if someone else hadn't come out with the story.
Artie said that maybe Martina should have given that other woman the backhand like Sean Connery says you should do. He said that two broads can fight, they're not men. Howard and Robin told him that you can't have any violence in a relationship like that.
Howard said that if someone shot at him, he could never sleep until it was resolved. Martina said that the other woman was in shock after she did it so she wasn't even able to move after she took that shot. Martina said she wasn't afraid to go home after that, they took the gun away from her. Years later that woman and Judy Nelson hooked up and dated for a short time. Martina said that was very weird.
Howard said that this is some life she's had and wondered if she ever had a threesome or orgies or anything like that. Martina said she thought she would have one some day but it just never happened. She said that she missed out on a lot more than he knows.
Howard thought that Robin was falling for Martina and she was going to steal her away. Martina said that she's married and Robin is straight so that was never going to happen and things worked out for their friendship. Howard said he always pegged Martina as going for the younger women but she's actually dated older women most of the time. Howard went through a list of women that she had dated and most of them were older than her at the time they dated.
Howard asked about the lesbian thing and if it's true that women like women more because they spend more time caressing and stuff. He said that Beth doesn't care about foreplay. Robin said that she must be ''very hetero'' then.
Howard said that Martina has been with her woman for 7 years now but they're not legally married. George said that he's been with Brad for a very long time but they're not legally allowed to marry. He said he would marry him if it was legal to do so. He said that he'd invite Howard to the wedding too. Howard and the guys talked about how they think that even George Bush isn't against the gay marriage thing but he panders to those people who think it's wrong.
Howard asked Martina about Rosie O'Donnell and if she could be attracted to her. She said that it all depends on the person. She said that it doesn't matter if they are over weight. She met Robin when she was still heavy and still liked her, as a friend. Howard asked what's more important, kissing, caressing the breasts or the vagina. Martina said that all women are different so it all depends on that person.
Howard said that he spends very little time on the breasts because he's a vagina man. He said he loves vagina. Artie said that when you get in a vagina, you realize that it's a perfect match and God did that for a reason. Howard asked if toys are important. Martina said that they used to be, but they're not essential now.
Howard said that Martina must want to be with a woman who is in shape. She's in such good shape herself that she must want a woman around who is like her. She said it's really not like that, they have to be healthy but not into sports as much as she is.
Howard asked Martina who she thinks was the best male tennis player. She ran through a bunch of names of the guys she thinks were great. Howard took a phone call who asked Martina if she took steroids when she was playing. She said she never did that and she advised a 15 year old boy against using stuff like that one time. Howard said that she used to work out a lot from what he remembers.
Another caller asked Martina if she ever fantasized about Chris Everett. She said that she really was cute but she never went there with her. She never did that with any tennis players because they were too close.
Howard said he thinks that Martina's life is good now and it had to be tough for her when she was growing up. She said that her father was tough on her teaching her tennis but he helped her get to where she did in her career. Howard said he heard that her father didn't like that she was a lesbian. She said that they didn't talk a lot after that but they did talk some. He eventually read a book about homosexuality and came around. She said that they didn't stop talking completely, they always talked. She said she did take it very personally though.
Howard said he and Martina have to sit down and have lunch sometime. He said he was picturing some stuff that he'd be doing to her if he was a lesbian woman. He said he saw tennis racquets flying around and stuff like that. Martina said that she used a tennis racquet for breaking crab claws one time so that came in handy.
Howard ended up talking about his upcoming wedding and said that they have decided what it's going to be like and when they might be doing it. They're talking to someone who plans these things so they're working on it now. Howard asked if Martina thinks that it'll end in disaster. Martina said she hopes not. She thinks that he knows what he wants now and where he wants to go with it.
Howard wrapped up with Martina and gave her some plugs for the AARP thing. He said you can find out more at AARPFitness.com. Martina said that people have to stay active to stay healthy and that's what she's trying to promote.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Martina is proud that Martina Hingis was named after her. Howard didn't know that was the case but it turns out that it was true and Martina was very happy with that. She played against her mother years ago and she liked that she named her daughter after her. The caller also asked if Anna Kournikova is her type. She said that she's really not.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked what kind of panties she was wearing. They soon found out that she doesn't wear panties at all. Howard was wrapping up with Martina but she mentioned that she does some art where she paints with tennis balls. Robin didn't have one yet so Martina said that she'd bring one along with her next time.
Howard asked Martina about drug use and found out she did try some of the not-so-heavy stuff. She said that she's a real lightweight though and got high from painting her nails this morning.
Artie asked Martina if she thinks that there were any guys from her era that she could have beat. Martina said that there was a bet back then saying that she couldn't beat a guy who was ranked 100 and she thought that she could have beaten one. She said that if she had done something like that, she would have had to have had a guy who was similar in stature to her. Howard wrapped up a short time later and went to break.
Former NFL Player Roy Simmons Visits. 01/19/06. 8:55am
Howard had the guys bring in their next guest who was former NFL football player Roy Simmons. He played for the NY Giants from 1979-1983. Howard said they were talking about him yesterday. Roy said that there are some gay guys in the league and there may be 1 or 2 gay guys on each team. He told the guys about how he had sex with a team mate back at his house one time. It was oral sex.
Howard asked Roy if he ever bashed gays just to fit in with the rest of the guys. Roy said that didn't happen a lot but he did play along when that would come up. Roy said that things were different back then in the 70s and 80s. Howard asked him if he would be more into Joe Namath or Phil Simms. Roy said that it would be Joe. Howard asked him who he like in the NFL now. He said that he likes Tiki Barber. Howard wondered if he's into Ronde Barber as well. Roy said he might take him if Tiki wasn't around.
Howard asked him to talk about some of the guys on his team who were hot to him. He was talking about some of his teammates and Artie threw in a name as well. Artie said that he knew that Roy would have liked Beasley Reese. Roy said that he would check out some of the guys in the shower but he wouldn't think about them when he was pleasuring himself.
Howard asked Roy how big Lawrence Taylor was. Roy said that he was big and he's a big guy all around. Howard asked him just how bit it was but Roy would only say that he was ''well endowed.'' Howard gave him a plug for his book ''Out of Bounds'' and asked him about some of the stuff he talks about in there. Roy said that he was raped when he was a young boy and it was by a postal worker that lived a few doors down from his family. Roy said that the guy grabbed him one day and raped him and it only happened the one time. He said his grandmother found out about it when she found his bloodied underwear in his drawer.
Roy said that he used to be really scared to turn the corner of the neighborhood because of the rape that took place. He said even today he doesn't trust his mail. He said he prefers email to regular mail now. Roy also told Howard about how he was outted by a family member who thought he wasn't being fair to the woman he was dating at the time.
Roy talked about his cocaine use back in the 1980s. Howard told him that he knows a couple of guys who had problems with that stuff. Artie is one of them. Bob added that the coke will take you to a bad place... To a cock. Roy told Howard that he's both a receiver and a giver when it comes to gay sex. Artie asked him if he dreamed of playing center for the Giants because that would seem like a dream job for him. Roy said no to that question. Howard asked him how he pictures them having sex. Roy said he would probably do 69 with him. Bob Levy said that it would be a 61 since Howard is so skinny.
Roy told Howard that he did get AIDS but he is undetectable when he has a blood test done. He said that he was into male prostitution for a while after he got out of the NFL. Roy talked about the things he used to do back when he was a prostitute. He said he did all kinds of stuff and even did some S and M stuff and would even give golden showers. He said he never shit on anyone but he's seen it done.
Roy said that he was rarely recognized but there were a couple of guys who would. He said that there was one guy he used to give NFL stuff to so he wouldn't go out and tell the press what he was up to. He also told a story about how he had his NFL ring stolen from him by a guy who he was having sex with. He said the guy stole that ring and a bunch of that stuff he kept in his jewelry box.
Howard took a call from Gay Ramone who asked him how big his big black cock was and if it's cut or uncut. Roy said ''Wow!'' when he heard that. He went on to say that he is pretty well endowed and he's uncircumcised because the doctors told his mother that he didn't need it. Howard figured he must be extra large if that's the case.
Roy talked about how he used to dress up as a woman and visit gay bath houses. Gay Ramone knew of one of the places he used to visit. Howard gave Roy an F, Marry, Kill game to play. Here's how he answered...
Howard wished Roy luck with his book and gave him another plug for it. He also asked him one last question. He asked him if he's ever picked up a jock strap and smelled it after the rest of the team left. Roy said he has done that but it was just a random one, not anyone in particular. He even kept the jock strap after doing that. Howard told him that if he was gay, he would be honored to date him. He went to break a short time later.
NY Giants Rookie Tight End Jeremy Shockey Calls In. 9/10/02. 7:50am
NY Giants Tight End Jeremy Shockey called in this morning to talk to Howard for a short time. Howard spent some time talking to 22 year old Jeremy about his big $6 million signing bonus. For the first few minutes Howard was under the impression that Jeremy was black for some reason. Jeremy told him that he was white and Howard couldn't believe it. His southern accent and way of speaking made him sound black to Howard.
The two of them spent a short time talking about what Jeremy has spent some of his money on so far. He bought a house for himself and one for his mother. He said that his parents are divorced and his mother won't let his father come after him for money.
Chaunce Hayden (ChaunceHayden.com) from Steppin' Out Magazine called in and brought up the fact that Jeremy got into a fight with one of the other players after they demanded that he reveal his signing bonus and sing some songs as a hazing. Howard found out that it was Brandon Short he got into the fight with. They spent a short time talking about that before moving on to some phone calls. Howard let a few people talk to Jeremy before he wrapped up the call.
Howard VS Jackie In Basketball? 3/20/97. 9:50am
Somehow this morning Howard and Jackie decided that they wanted to play a game of basketball against each other. It had something to do with all the bets going on this morning. Robin said that every time she makes a bet with someone about Howard she loses. When Jackie and Howard decided that they wanted to play this basketball game Robin refused to make any bets in favor of Howard. Since both Jackie and Howard suck at basketball they're only playing to 7 points! It might take all afternoon for them to finish even playing to only 7. The game was to happen right after the show today. We should have the results tomorrow.
Jackie VS Howard - The Results. 3/21/97. 8:00am
Yesterday's big basketball game didn't go the way everyone thought it would. Everyone was betting that Jackie would win the 7 point game. Well the game started off in Jackie's favor. He got his first 2 points within 5 seconds. After that it was all down hill. Howard ended up beating The JokeMan 7 to 2. Howard was ready to collect his money but nobody had their money with them. Jackie bet $200 that he would win. Stuttering John bet $100 on Jackie, Gary had the same bet. Jackie wants a rematch but this time the game would be to 21 points. Howard played the videotape of the game during this segment but it's hard to picture. It sounds like Jackie was winded within a minute of starting the game. That was his excuse for the loss. Next week there will be 2 more games. Jackie VS Gary and Howard VS Fred. That should be another interesting show.
Pete Rose And Girlfriend Kiana Kim Visit. 03/30/10. 8:35am
After the break we heard a prank call Sal and Richard made to Gary the Retard using Billy Mays audio clips. Fred also played Moby's ''South Side'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that Pete Rose was there with his hot girlfriend. He said that they apparently have sex multiple times a day. Howard said Pete is looking great. Howard asked how old he is. Pete said he's 68 going on 15. Howard said hello to Pete's girlfriend Kiana Kim too.
Howard said that this girl is something else. He said Pete really is a legend. He said that Kiana is a real woman. He said he had a lot of questions.
Howard asked Pete about the ball he signed for him. Pete signed 303 of them. Howard said he got one of them and put it in storage. Pete said he's not sure what it's worth but Howard was saying they're selling for $10,000. Pete said they weren't supposed to get out on the internet but they did. Howard said he's going to use that for his retirement fund.
Howard said Pete was very honest in his book and he talked about the kind of money he lost gambling. Pete told Howard that they said that he was losing like half a million here and half a million there and they were exaggerating. Pete said that he doesn't do any illegal gambling anymore. He said he had enough money that he could afford to do that though. He said he used to go to the races an bet.
Pete said he was making like a million a year and spending a couple grand on a bet wasn't that big of a deal. He said it did lead to him getting kicked out of baseball though.
Howard said that they polled people and found out that 60 percent of people think he should be in the hall of fame. Pete said that 60 sounds kind of low to him. He said he figured it would be like 85 or 90 percent.
Pete said that what he did was wrong. He said betting on the games was just wrong. Pete said that he was betting on his own team to win though. He said that he was suspended 21 years ago so it's been a long time now. Howard said it doesn't see that big of a deal if he was betting on his own team to win.
Pete said some people do think he is the victim because they give people second and third chances these days. Howard asked Pete what he would be doing today if he was never kicked out. Pete said that he might be coaching. Pete said he brings a positive attitude to the situation and he understands the game of baseball so he could do that.
Howard said the last time he saw Pete he was married to his second wife. Pete said that one lasted too long. Howard said he had like two kids with that one. Howard said one of his kids was an actress. Pete said she was in a lot of stuff. Howard asked Pete if he's done with kids. He said it must be enough now. Pete didn't get a chance to answer.
Pete told Howard that one of Kiana's favorite shows was Deal or No Deal and many of the girls on the show were in Playboy. Howard cut them off and asked Kiana how she met Pete. She said that she was at a car dealer shopping for a car and Pete came in. Howard said she must be a young girl. She said she's 29 years old.
Howard was all over the place with the interview. He was asking to see her shoes, asking how tall she was and how much she weighed. She's 5'6'' tall and 115 pounds. Howard said that's the right height and weight.
Howard asked Kiana what she does that she was shopping for a Mercedes. She owns a hair salon. Howard said he likes what he's hearing so far. Howard asked Kiana about meeting Pete at the dealer and if she knew who he was. She said she had no idea who he was. Pete said she thought he played for the Redskins.
Pete said he asked Kiana if she and her girlfriend ever go to Vegas because he goes out there. He said they came out to visit and they went out to dinner and then went home.
Kiana told Howard that she had a store that wasn't doing very well and Pete offered to make an appearance there to help out. Howard said of course he did. Howard said he would make appearances for her too. Kiana said that Pete took them out to dinner and he was very respectful. They went their own ways after dinner. She said that Pete is hilarious and he's the most fun person to be around. Howard said he doesn't think ''hilarious'' when he thinks about Pete Rose. Kiana said he's very funny.
Howard found out it took about a month for Pete to work his magic with Kiana. Kiana said he travels a lot so it took a while. Howard asked if he was hitting with a big bat. She said that he is.
Howard said that he was reading about Kiana doing Playboy. Pete introduced her to the right people to get her in there. She said that she had to do the casting appearances. Howard asked if she had ever been nude before. She said she hadn't so that was new to her.
Howard read that Kiana and Pete have sex every day and it's great sex. Howard asked if that is true that they have it every day. Kiana said they don't see each other every day but they do it when they see each other. Howard said he read that Pete is ready to go just minutes after he finishes too. Howard said he can't even do that. He said he must be using something to help. Pete claims he's not. He said that he never drank or smoked so he doesn't need anything to help. He said he just needs her to stand up and he's ready to go.
Howard asked if Pete uses rubbers. Kiana said he doesn't. Pete said they don't need that. He said they have brains and they don't need that. Howard asked where he finishes. Kiana said that Howard should see their back wall.
Howard asks where he finishes. He said he should save it and sell it. Pete said he's trying to figure out a way to autograph it.
Howard asked Kiana if she would keep the baby if she got pregnant. She said she's not sure about that but Pete said he thinks that she would keep it. Pete said that if it does happen Howard will be the first one they call and tell. Howard asked Pete if he wants to chase kids around. Pete said he chases the grand kids around.
Pete told Howard that they're trying to get Kiana a career in a game show or something like that. He said she would like to do a Deal or No Deal kind of thing. They said that the show has been canceled as far as they know. Howard sounded shocked by that.
Howard read that Kiana had sex with Pete 3 times in one hour one night. Robin sounded impressed. She asked if people pass on talking to Pete to talk to Kiana. Pete said they're not to that point yet.
Howard asked if Pete is Kiana's first famous guy. She said that he is her first. Howard asked if her parents have met him. She said they have met him and they like him. Pete said he doesn't think he looks his age and he certainly doesn't act it. He said he's still having fun.
Howard said he saw two great YouTube moments with Pete. He said in one clip he was in a WWE event and the crowd was cheering him on. He said Pete gets on the mic and tells the people of Boston that they're idiots because they beat them. Then the crowd turns on him. Howard said he thought they were going to beat the shit out of him after that. They were booing him after he did that. Pete said he just hosted a Monday Night Raw show recently too. He said he has fun doing that.
Howard said he saw another moment he did when he was set up by Sacha Baron Cohen for ''Bruno'' and he had Pete sitting on the Mexicans during the interview. Pete said that he was paid to do that interview. He said that he didn't know who this guy was. He said they brought in the Mexicans to be seats. Pete said he was sitting on this Mexican and the guy was yelling out for water. Howard said that the Mexican guy was sitting there and Pete was rubbing his neck. Bruno told him to just step on his hand to keep him from raising it. Howard said that Pete went along with it and it was the funniest thing he ever saw. Howard said he thought Pete's interview was even more funny than Paula Abdul's was. Pete said he couldn't believe the way they were treating the Mexicans. Howard said the last person that treated Mexicans like that was Marge Schott.
Howard said he heard that Pete has a Mexican couch in his house now. Pete said he got a picture of Babe Ruth sitting on a Mexican at Yankee Stadium one time.
Howard said that Kiana is in a Playboy Sexy 100 special edition and you can also check her out at KianaKim.com. She's not naked on there but you can find upcoming appearances and stuff like that on the site.
Howard asked Pete about what he does for Kiana in bed. Pete said he never thinks about himself in bed. He does what he can for her. Howard asked if he can lick her to orgasm. Kiana said he can.
Howard asked Pete if he was pushed into baseball by his father. Pete said his father was into sports and he was lucky he got to be around that. He said he wasn't a natural for baseball either. He said he was better at football. Pete said he didn't like school though so he went with Baseball. He didn't want to go to college and play football so he got into baseball so he could get out of high school and do that.
Howard asked Pete what was better, being in the World Series or having sex with Kiana. Pete said that if he was playing today it would be being in the World Series and then having sex after that game.
Howard asked Pete if he's upset that his father never got to see him with this Kiana. Pete said that people say that he's probably looking down on him now. Pete said that his mother never got to see him go into the Hall of Fame. He said that was one regret he had. He said his mother outlived his father by 30 years or so. He said he thinks that he should get into the hall of fame and he's the one person who is always positive about baseball.
Howard asked if Pete Rose Jr. has met Kiana. Pete said he has. He said he's great. Howard asked if he thinks that his son would want her. Pete said he doesn't think that at all. Howard said he'd want to be with her if his father was dating someone like her.
Howard asked Pete if he thinks Derek Jeter will beat his batting record. Pete said he can't think of a better guy to do it but he doesn't think it will happen.
Howard asked Pete if he ever juiced. Pete said he never did. He said he took some diet pills when they were trying to get down to weight but that doesn't enhance your game playing.
Howard asked Pete what he thinks about the guys getting all of these famous chicks. Pete said he never got them because they were playing in Cincinnati.
Howard asked Pete about Tiger Woods. Pete said he had Tiger on his own radio show once and he was a good guest. He was just a kid at the time. Pete said he doesn't think that he has to explain to them what he did. He has to talk to his family and friends. Howard said he would never cheat on that hot chick. He said he can't imagine why he had to do that.
Howard said he's not sure if Tiger will get his sponsors back. Robin said all he has to do is start hitting that ball again and he'll get them back.
Howard said Tiger must be making tremendous money with the endorsements. Howard said the guy is on his way to being a billionaire. He said if he's sick of the wife then divorce her and move on. Howard told Pete that he had the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant on there. Pete said he knew about that. Howard said he should have had Pete in there as a judge.
Howard gave Kiana some more plugs for her Playboy specialty issue. Howard said that Pete should propose to her now. Howard said they could marry them right there if he wanted. Pete said they have other agendas going on there.
Pete told Howard a story about going to Vietnam with Joe DiMaggio and some other guys one time. He said that Joe wanted to take a shower while they were out in the jungle and he had to help him out and pour the water on him. He said the best way to describe him was as a penis with a man hanging off of him. He said that the guy was really big. He said Joe would say ''That's not where it ends, that's where it bends.'' Pete said he was quite a man. Howard asked how he stuffed that thing inside of Marilyn Monroe. Pete said maybe that's why he was only with her for 260 days. Pete was joking about how he used it as a bat to hit the Kennedy's over the head too.
Howard said it was very nice of Pete to go over to Vietnam. Pete said he can make the troops laugh. He said he's waiting for people to ask him to go over to Afghanistan or Iraq.
Howard said he bets that Pete gave Joe a good shower too. He said that's the most impressive thing he's said he's done.
Howard said that he's happy for Pete and Kiana. Howard said every man wants a woman like Kiana in their life. He said that they never get it though. Howard gave Kiana some more plugs and said he had just checked out the magazine and she looks fabulous. He said she's got beautiful breasts and perfect nipples.
Pete thanked his buddy Marty for getting him on the show. Pete asked if Howard would take a picture with Kiana. Howard said he'll do a whole spread with her. He said he'd even shower her. Howard asked if she's wearing underwear with that outfit. She said that she is. Howard said it was just a thong. They had a shot of it on the Howard TV monitors. Howard asked if she has any sisters that are as hot as her. Pete said she has a sister but he can't imagine that she's as hot as her.
Howard asked Pete if he would stay with Kiana if she gained 15 pounds. Pete said ''Hell no!'' Howard said he appreciates them coming by today. He told Kiana that he's going to beat off to her Playboy spread.
Pete asked Howard how he walks around without being besieged. Howard said people are pretty respectful. He said most people are turned off from him because he looks like trouble.
Howard said he wants them to do him a favor and tell George more about Joe DiMaggio's cock since he's gay. George just laughed. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
In the clip Howard asked Gary to get Dr. J on the phone. He had him on the line a short time later. The phone connection was horrible so Howard said there has to be something wrong with it. They found out he was on a hotel phone so that was the problem.
Howard said he grew up in the same town as Dr. J did. He said they both grew up in Roosevelt. Dr. J told Howard Dr. J grew up there in a good time. The operator interrupted the call and broke into the call and said she had a call from someone named Dice. Howard told the operator who was on the phone with him and told her that the person on the phone is an imposter and he wants her to trace that number. She said she can't do that. Howard said this is an intruder and someone breaking the law. Howard told her to trace it and get back to him. She said she can't do that. Howard told her to get her supervisor on the line. She said all he has to do is say that he doesn't want to accept the call. Howard said he's empowered to tell her in this one case that she can trace the call. She said she can not do that. Howard asked to talk to her supervisor again.
Howard got the supervisor on the phone. He told her that he had Dr. J on the phone with him. Howard said they are empowering her with a special mission to trace that phone caller. The supervisor said she can't do that. She said all he has to do is say yes or no. Howard said he has the power of the FCC vested in him to let her trace the call. She did give Howard the number but said she won't trace it. Howard said he will trace it himself. The operator hung up after that.
Howard said that he bleeped the number off the air and he has it for himself. Robin said she was impressed by that. Howard said he has powers.
Howard got back to Dr. J and spent a few minutes talking to him about playing basketball. That led to them talking about Howard's game against Nils Lofgren.
Howard was interrupted once again with an operator. Howard told her that this man calling through is his homosexual lover and he'd like her to tell the man that he's breaking up with him. She said she can't do that. Howard said he's now dating Dr. J and asked her not to tell the National Enquirer.
Gary came in and told Howard that their General Manager said Dr. J is very hard to hear. He said he had him on another line and he was fine earlier. Dr. J said he was on a different phone earlier. He went to the other phone and he sounded much better. Dr. J said they have a good manager down there.
Howard said Dr. J is going to play one on one against Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. They were starting to talk about that but another operator interrupted saying they had a call trying to get through. Howard told her what was going on and explained he had Dr. J on the line. Howard said she can ask him a question if she wants to. She said she's just doing her job. She said goodbye. Howard said she was taken aback by that whole call.
Howard got back to Dr. J and talked to him about Magic Johnson and AIDS. He asked if he thinks that he should be in the game. Dr. J said that there could be people who don't tell anyone that they have it and they're still out there playing.
Howard asked Dr. J if he has good investments. Dr. J said he's a partner in a Philadelphia Coca Cola Bottling company. He said that they had to wait in line for about 7 years before that happened.
The operator interrupted Howard again. He yelled at her to get off the line. She told Howard he's nasty. Howard told her to go away.
Howard asked Dr. J what other investments he has. Dr. J said he has a cable company. He said he has that with some partners. He said his partners are very good and they've helped him out a lot. He said he has an office he goes into several times a month to organize the group. He said most of what he does is out in the field.
Howard said Dr. J got himself out of Roosevelt and he's proud of that. Dr. J said he's proud of them too. They wrapped up the interview a short time later.
Lawrence Taylor Comes In. 6/20/00. 7:00am
Ex-Football player Lawrence Taylor came in this morning to promote the FX Toughman 2000 show he's hosting now. He's also got a cameo on the new ''Shaft'' movie. Howard asked LT why he's unable to play football anymore. LT says that he's too old now and his bones crack when he moves these days. He's only 41 but that's pretty old to be getting bashed around in football. Howard brought up the fact that LT is friends with OJ Simpson. He asked LT if he's ever asked OJ straight out if he killed Nicole. LT said he has done that and OJ, of course, denies it. Howard spent a while goofing on what it might be like to hang out with OJ on the golf course. He asked LT if OJ has ever killed any caddies while Fred did his best OJ impression. Fred's OJ would say that he needs to bury a caddie who just died in a sand trap and stuff like that. LT took it all pretty well and just laughed it all off.
Howard also asked LT about his past drug use and asked if he smoked weed. LT said that weed was never his thing. He said he never wanted to mellow out. He used coke instead. Howard said that weed must be for hippies. LT said that weed is for hippies and guys with long hair who just want to mellow out. LT has been to rehab a couple of times and now he's apparently clean.
Howard asked LT about his current girlfriend and whether or not he's exclusive with her. LT claims he is but Howard doesn't believe it for some reason.
Howard took a couple of phone calls before LT left. There weren't many interesting calls though. The Toughman 2000 show that LT is on airs Friday nights at 10pm on the FX cable network.
Baseball Player Jose Canseco Visits. 03/15/05. 8:45am
Howard had baseball player Jose Canseco in after the break. Jose was in to promote his book ''Juiced : Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits, and How Baseball Got Big.'' Howard said the guy is huge and he probably could have played football instead of baseball. Howard talked to Jose about his nuts and whether or not they shrunk when he took steroids. Howard said he's be afraid of that if he was on steroids. Jose said it doesn't have any effect on your penis, just the testicles. Howard said that Artie is kind of pissed at Jose for outing all of his friends. Jose said that he's not getting all that much crap about the stuff because people realize that what he's saying is the truth. Artie asked him what his objective is with this book. Jose said he just wants the players to come out and talk about this stuff because he believes that the teams were allowing them to use the steroids. He even claims that he played for George W. Bush and even he may have turned a blind eye to the steroid use. Jose doesn't think it's all that big of a revelation because everyone pretty much knows about it already.
Jose said that the whole thing comes from the pressure that these guys are under to perform. There's a lot of wear and tear on the human body and that's why these guys are taking the steroids. Jose said that the steroids don't help your hand eye coordination but if you already have that, it can enhance that. Artie was also asking about Barry Bonds and why he's doing so well in his later years. Jose said he thinks that steroids can be the fountain of youth for some guys. Jose said the book has actually been number one for the past few weeks and it's doing very well. Howard asked Jose if he he'd be able to beat Mark McGwire's ass if he ran into him. Jose said he's pretty sure he could hold up pretty well even though Magurie is a pretty big guy.
Jose was talking about how he hates the politics of the Major League Baseball stuff. He talked about how they kicked him out of the game when the steroid use became a big story, even after they knew about the stuff before. Jose said he thinks the owners and the players association booted him out and used him as a scapegoat. Artie asked him why he wrote it, was it revenge or something else. Jose said he talks about his life growing up and not just about the whole baseball thing. Howard read some other notes he had about Jose and went over some of that stuff with him. Benjy asked Jose why he didn't name the guys who sold him the steroids since he was so willing to name the players who took them. Robin said he doesn't want to get killed, that's why he's not naming those names. Howard also pointed out that Jose is mad at Major League Baseball, not the people who sold them the steroids. Jose said that he thinks that other people will eventually come out of the woodwork and talk about this stuff. Meanwhile, he's the only one talking about it.
Jose told the guys a story about these people who would pay to just hang out with him. He said he was offered $10,000 from a guy who wanted him to sit at the dinner table with tight shorts and a tight shirt one time. He used to have people over to his house that would pay $2,500 to just hang out with him. Attorney Dominic Barbara called in and said that Jose is claiming that he's not writing the book for the money but that's exactly what he's doing. He was also saying that steroids are killing more kids these days than even cocaine is. Jose thought that was a ridiculous statement and it just wasn't true. Another caller said that Jose is like the Henry Hill of baseball and someone should put a hit out on the guy. The caller said that Jose should just shut his mouth and get out of there already. Jose said that he has been subpoenaed to testify in front of congress on Thursday and he's going to be doing that. He thinks that the other players that have been asked to show up will be there but they may plead the fifth if they don't want to talk about it.
Howard asked Jose about the time he spent with Madonna. He said he met her years ago when she was looking for a Cuban man to have a kid with. He said someone saw him and called him asking if he wanted to meet Madonna. Jose said he didn't even think about having sex with her, he was just honored to have been able to meet her. He said he arranged a meeting with her. He went to visit and she brought him into her bedroom. She showed him the masturbation scene from a movie she did while they were in the bedroom. He didn't know what was going on but she was looking at him as he was watching it. She asked him what he thought about it and then showed him around her house a little more. She was also asking him a lot of questions and stuff. He left without having sex with her. He kept in touch after that and met with her again when they were both in New York. Jose said that he was separated from his first wife at the time but he really didn't have intentions of having sex with Madonna. He went over to visit her and there was a lot of Paparazzi there. He said that Madonna was very relaxed that day and he liked seeing that side of her. He said they were just sitting there when Madonna asked him if he wanted to kiss her. Jose said he told her ''no'' like an idiot. They ended up making out anyway. He left after that and there were even more Paparazzi outside. He got a call from his ex-wife because it became big news. He also had a bunch of people throwing stuff at him at a game a couple of days later. Artie said he was at the game and saw Jose almost hit a guy with a baseball bat after he was yelling some stuff at him. Jose said he never threatened anyone but Artie saw it happen.
Ralph called in and said that Jose is making the game more interesting by talking about this stuff in his book. Artie didn't think it was right for him to out all of the other guys that are using steroids. Howard got back to the Madonna stuff and said he's amazed that she didn't just grab his package when he was with her. Jose claims that he never had sex with Madonna. Jose brought some people with him and there was a hot chick in the group. Jose said that the woman wasn't with him though, that was a friend of his. There were a few arguments going on about the steroid use and whether or not they should change the record books. They went back and forth about that stuff for a few minutes before Howard had to wrap up the segment. He gave Jose a plug for his book and his web site JoseCanseco.com. Jose said that he's going to be making a movie out of the book. They're going to have to find a guy who can play him in the movie and that's not going to be all that easy. Jose said that he may have to play himself in the movie. Howard offered to play the part of Madonna. He ended the interview after that and went to commercial.
Bill Romanowski And His Wife Visit. 10/19/05. 8:55am
Howard came back from break and mentioned that he'll be appearing on David Letterman's show on November 17th. He then moved on to former pro-football player Bill Romanowski who was there with his wife. They weren't going to bring in his wife but Howard figured it couldn't hurt so they let Julie come in with him. Julie told Howard about the kids they have together. Artie ended up getting into the bets that he's placed and lost because of Bill. The two of them spent a short time talking about that and what went on back in those days. Howard then brought up the 60 Minutes interview that Bill did where he broke down and cried while talking about his career. Bill said he is a pretty emotional guy but he doesn't regret crying during that interview. Bill said he's been playing football since he was 10 so it was pretty tough to give up the game. He said that he's been told that football players have two deaths, the day they retire from football and the day they die. That's the way he feels about his retirement. He was only 37 when he retired and Robin said he looks like a young guy.
Bill isn't well liked by other players so he talked about that. He said that he used to be friends with Shannon Sharp but he ended up getting mad at him when he broke his arm. Howard played a tape of a guy bad mouthing Bill about the way he refers to himself in the third person and how Bill would do things to hurt other guys on purpose and then claim that he didn't do them on purpose. The guys were saying that Bill is just trying to sell a book these days.
Howard said that Bill isn't as big as he thought he would be. Bill said he's really not that big and he played at about 240 pounds. Now he's down to about 225. He also told Howard that he was taking a drug called THG back when he was playing and thought that it was safe to use. He also told the guys about this stuff he took which was live cells from Scottish Black Sheep that was supposed to strengthen him. He heard that the brain cells of sheep go right to your brain and it's supposed to regenerate that tissue. Howard cut him off and talked about some notes he had about Bill. There was a story about Bill grabbing the face mask of a team mate of his and ended up punching the guy in the face accidentally. They were in a fight and the guy's helmet came off as he was taking a swing at him. He claimed that was an accident and he had to pay the guy's salary for a year. Howard asked him if he was all about kicking ass when he was playing the game. Bill said that when you do knock out another team's player, it fires up your own team. They would tell him that the hit was the best hit they had ever seen and it would get them all going to win.
Robin mentioned that Bill had broken the eye socket of a black player one time so Howard talked to him about that and if he would be willing to fight Mike Tyson. Bill said he wouldn't fight him. The guys also asked him if he really grabbed a guy's balls one time just because he could. Bill said that was true and it was true that he broke the finger of a player who was in the bottom of a pile up one time. Bill said he was trying to get the ball and all he found was the finger so he broke it. Bill was also telling Howard about his marriage that has lasted 12 years so far.
Howard asked Bill if he knows of any homosexuals in the NFL but Bill said he never bothered to find out, he was too busy doing other things. He was asked about the locker room and if he ever checked out the other guys. Bill said he didn't really do that. Julie said their son noticed that when he was brought into the locker room one time though and said that he saw some very different looking guys in there.
Howard read some notes about Bill and how he once stepped on the testicles of a player as he was running over him. Bill claims that he didn't do that on purpose and wasn't really aiming for them. He said that it was in the heat of battle and he's had the same thing done to him. Howard gave Bill a plug for his book ''Romo: My Life on the Edge--Living Dreams and Slaying Dragons'' and said that he'll be signing copies of it at a Barnes and Nobel in New York City today.
Howard took some phone calls for Bill and one guy asked him to talk about the supplements that Bill was taking when he was playing. Bill said he was taking up to 100 supplements a day back then. He used to have his doody tested for parasites back then as well. His urine would also turn purple because of the supplements he was taking. The caller also thinks that Bill was just playing the game the way it should be. Another caller said that Bill was a cheat and a dirty player and wanted to dump rocks on his head when he left the studio today. Ralph also called in and told Bill not to go back on what he's done in his career if he didn't feel badly about them when he did them. Bill said he looks back on that stuff now and feels bad and he just did that crazy stuff because he was playing the game with fear. Another caller asked Bill why he spit in JJ Stokes' face years ago. Bill said that he doesn't know why he did that. Howard told him that's the problem, he says he doesn't know why he did that stuff, but he did it. Bill said he would do that stuff to get the other guys pissed off at him to throw them off.
Howard asked Bill if he's worried about the effects of his 20 concussions. Bill said that he already has problems from those concussions and they've been haunting him. Julie said that he's had some testing done and couldn't even remember her name when they were asking him to give some girl names from A to Z. Gary came in and tried to get Bill to cry by asking him about his son. It wasn't working so Howard asked him why he cried for 60 Minutes but not for him. Bill said those guys spent 3 days with him and worked on him for that long. Gary asked him to talk about not clearing out his locker after he retired and that got Bill a little emotional. He said that he left his helmet and pads behind in that locker because it would be so hard to walk away from that stuff. Howard wasn't able to break him down to tears. Robin was asking him some questions about his final days in the NFL and going down the tunnel for the last time. Bill said that he was sad that day but he still wasn't crying for them. Howard let Bill talk about the concussions and what could have happened to him if he had kept playing.
Bill said that he would let his son play football even after everything he's been through. Howard said it's really not worth it and he should have his son play baseball, golf or something like that so he doesn't get hurt so bad. Howard gave Bill some more plugs for his book and the appearance he's making today. Artie also gave Bill a hypothetical question about which quarterback he would want to play with, Joe Montana or John Elway. Bill said that he'd prefer to play with both because they're both great guys and great players. Howard was trying to get into some sex talk with Bill and his wife but Julie thought there were better things to talk about. Howard had some fun with that and then went to break a short time later.
Robin VS Dominic Barbara. 3/24/97. 8:20am
Last week I forgot to mention that there will be another basketball game. This game will have Bloated Attorney Dominic Barbara and Robin competing for bragging rights. They mentioned that the game will happen on Thursday of this week. It should be another good game... Two big breasted humans trying to bounce a friggin ball, what a sight that'll be!
Will Dominic Barbara Back Out Of Basketball Game? 3/25/97. 10:45am
Dominic Barbara was on the phone late this morning telling Gary that he was practicing his basketball game yesterday and he forgot how high the net was. It sounded like he was getting ready to back out of the game scheduled for Thursday. Howard said that if Dominic doesn't play he won't be allowed back on the show...ever! Dominic also hurt himself while practicing. That's probably easy when you weigh 300 pounds. So he hasn't officially backed out of the game but we'll have to wait to see what happens on Thursday.
Betting On The Big Basketball Game. 3/27/97. 9:40am
The only reason I call it ''Big'' is because Bloated Attorney Dominic Barbara is playing in it. After the show today everyone is supposed to head out to watch Dominic play a game of basketball against Robin. Sportscaster Len Berman will be doing the play by play for the game. Len came in near the end of the show to hang out for a bit while all the bets were taken. The game is only to 7 points and surprisingly there were a few bets that Dominic will beat Robin! Gary and John both took Dominic to win. Howard took Robin of course. Howard's father called in and said that Dominic may win this game. I'm taking Robin in this game. I think Dominic will have a minor heart attack during the game.
Dominic Beats Robin 8 to 4! 3/28/97.
Dominic Barbara beat Robin at basketball yesterday. Robin was really pissed at Dominic for his attitude yesterday. He was playing like a moron according to Howard. Howard was pretty pissed also. They didn't get into all of the details because Howard planned on playing the tape later in the show. Howard said that Dominic was screaming about Robin fouling him and that Dominic threw the ball at the referee! He wasn't joking around either.
Today's Wide World of Howard Stern Sports was over around 10:50am.
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In the clip Howard had Charles Barkley on the phone. Howard said that he's not sure why the people of Philadelphia treat Charles so poorly. Howard said they always treat him great on the show. Charles thanked him for that.
Howard said Charles can't let that stuff get him down. Charles said he never does. Charles told Howard to come out and hang out with him at a Knicks game next week. Howard said he might do that. He said he has some meetings next week though. He said he's working on his movie. Charles said he might have to work with him. Howard said he might put his wife in the movie. Charles said that she'd paralyze him. Howard said he must be a great lover to have a wife like that. Charles just laughed.
Howard asked if he could sit with Charles at the game. Charles told him he'd have to sit in the stands with the other animals from New York. He said that he got knocked out at a game he played up there. He said there were 15,000 people chanting ''Barkley Sucks'' that night.
Howard and Charles talked about hockey and a strike that was supposed to happen. Howard said he doesn't like hockey but he thinks that they deserve the money they're demanding. Howard said all of those guys are entertainers and there's nothing wrong with them trying to get a piece of the action. He said he's said this on many occasions. He said these guys get to the top and they're supposed to act like some kind of dog. Howard said they're entertainers and they should get a piece of the house. Charles said Howard is smarter than people think he is.
Charles said that Howard is right and said that no one ever complains when Bruce Willis gets paid $10 million to do a movie. Charles asked Howard if he wants to come hang out at his house. Howard said he must be turning him on with all of this talk.
Howard said he's not sure he'd fit in with the guys on the team if he came out to hang. He said he did grow up in a black neighborhood and he knows how to talk. He told Charles what he'd say to the guys if he was talking to them. He said he'd call them stupid since they like calling each other ''stupid fresh.''
Howard asked Charles about what it was like in high school for him and things like that. Howard said he must not have expected to be where he is now. Charles said Howard must have been the same way.
Howard asked to talk to Charles' wife. Charles called her over and put her on the phone. Howard said she's hot. He said she was a model. Maureen got on the phone and said he's right. Howard said she has a good situation with him there. Maureen told Howard that things are good there. She won't be at the game next week so Howard asked her what's up with that. She said she's going to visit friends. Howard asked if she messes around behind his back. She said she wouldn't do that because Charles would kill someone.
Howard asked Maureen what she wears when she goes on vacation. He wanted to know if she wears a thong. She said she doesn't like those because she feels like she has a wedge in there. Howard let Maureen go and had Charles get back on the line.
Howard asked Charles if he's still in touch with Trump. Charles said he hasn't seen him in a while. Howard said he was in a hot tub with Trump last time he talked to him. Howard let Charles go a short time later. Howard said he really likes that guy. He said he doesn't know why the people of Philly don't like him. He said he thinks he rolls with it.
Basketball Player Reggie Miller Comes In. 2/5/98. 8:50am
Reggie Miller of the Indiana Pacers came in for a quick visit during all of the fun with the retarded Hanson brother and the trivia stuff. Howard thought that Reggie was coming to bad mouth the two losers in Indianapolis who Howard is now up against. Reggie was too nice of a guy to do that but did say that Howard is like a brother to him. Reggie is in town for the all-star game or something so he stopped in. He played a little bit of the trivia game but didn't have much else to say.
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Martina Navratilova Visits. 04/08/10. 7:45am
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal and Richard made to a roofing guy using Scott the Engineer audio clips. Fred also played the Allman Brothers ''Crossroad'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and had Martina Navratilova come in. Howard said Robin lit up when she saw her. Robin said she really likes Martina. Howard said that Martin is the greatest tennis player that ever lived. Martina said she wasn't going to argue with him. Howard asked who has been able to play like her. She said that there are some who have come close.
Howard said he was upset when he found out Martina has breast cancer. Howard asked if she's there for him to cheer her up. She said she's there to talk about her breasts. She said they're small but they're cute. She said she went for a mammogram and she hadn't been doing it yearly like she should have. Martina said she had forgotten about it. She said she just let it slip for a while. She didn't have any history of breast cancer in her family but that doesn't mean you shouldn't get checked. She said it's very treatable and they don't have to do invasive surgery. She said they caught it very early and they are going to be able to treat it. She said that she had a lumpectomy and she still has her breasts. She said that she could need more later if it comes back.
Martina said she had the work done 3 weeks ago and she has to get radiation in May. Robin said she hasn't had a mammogram done in 3 or 4 years so she has to get it done. Howard said Beth told him that it's not fun when they do it. Martina said it's not too bad. She'd rather do that than go to the dentist.
Howard said he heard that Martina doesn't brush her teeth more than once a day. Martina said she does brush them in the morning. She said that she was going to keep the whole thing quiet but she decided to come out and talk about it because she's going to be fine. She wants to encourage women to get that yearly check up.
Howard told Martina to breathe on David Arquette so he can check it out. David said that he actually didn't brush his teeth this morning.
Martina asked where Artie was. Howard told her that Artie tried to kill himself. He said he hasn't been there since December. Howard said he had a bad scene. Martina said he must not have gotten on her diet. Howard said he probably didn't.
Howard got back to the breast cancer and asked some more questions about that. Martina said that she lucked out with it being caught early.
Howard said that he saw a picture of Martina's new girlfriend and she's a former Miss something. Martina said she was a beauty queen a long time ago. Martina said this is a work in progress and she's keeping that all to herself. She said she's talking about the breast cancer and nothing else in her private life.
Howard asked Martina if she's a great chess player because that's what George Takei told them when he was in. She said that she beat him when they played on ''I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here.'' She said that she made the chess set herself. She said they weren't able to go on a walk or anything while they were there and it was tough. She said she really appreciates food now that she's done that. Martina said that they put them through some tough challenges on that show too. Howard asked if she ate any penis. She said she wasn't going to eat anything like that.
Howard asked Martina if she thinks that the breast cancer came from stress. She said that's possible. She said her mother died a few years ago and that has been tough.
Howard said he had to thank Martina for the chess set that she got him. He said that he sent her a note and he never heard back from her. Martina said she did get that note and she's just bad at returning notes so she didn't respond. Howard said that's fine as long as she got his note.
Robin and Howard asked Martina about Andre Agassi's stories about how he took drugs. Martina said she was kind of upset with him not taking the blame for it. She said that they weren't performance enhancing but David Arquette interrupted and said he has taken speed and it can help you fuck like crazy so it is performance enhancing.
Howard said he loves Martina's honesty. Martina told Howard that she has always been honest since she moved to the U.S. She said that she was too honest at times so she has had to censor herself a little bit.
Howard said that Martina has converted women into the lesbian lifestyle. She said it was just one. Howard said that's still impressive.
Howard asked Martina about Tiger Woods and what she thinks will happen with his sponsors. She said she thinks that he'll recover just fine and he'll get back to being great. She said that if he wasn't married no one would have blinked an eye at him doing what he did.
Howard said it must burn her up that women didn't get paid very well playing tennis. Martina said that they are getting more money these days but she didn't get her share because back then men were getting paid a lot more. She said they were making at least 4 times as much as the women were.
Howard asked Martina if Tiger ever came on to her. She said she doesn't think that Tiger is into older women. Howard said he's into any woman.
Howard asked if Martina gets cool email from famous people. She said that she got one from Jane Fonda. She said that she's a wonderful woman. Howard said back in the day she was something else. Howard asked if she desired her back then. Martina said ''who wouldn't?'' Martina said that she has worked with Jane and she is very hot even today.
Howard asked Martina who the hottest celebrity is to her. She said she likes Monica Belucci. Howard asked if that's her fantasy woman. She said she has more than one but that might be one of them. She also mentioned Kate Winslett. She said Kate Beckinsale is hot too. Howard asked about Courtney Cox. Martina said she had better not go there.
Howard asked Martina what she has to go through with this radiation treatment. She said that she has to do it in May and she's going to be working so she has to do it in France. Howard said he would stay here in the States to do it. Robin said she'll be fine over there. Howard told her to be careful. He said he would look into it to make sure they know what they're doing.
Martina said she's going to be playing Lindsay Davenport on Saturday so she'll be playing the Sympathy card during that game. Howard said she's going to be hosting a live chat at AARP.org/chat this afternoon. He gave her some plugs for that and for some other stuff that's coming up. Howard told Martina that some of his guys there need to go on her diet.
Howard said he wants to play Martina in a game of tennis. Robin said that should be something else. Howard said he would like to know what's up with her girlfriend. He said that he liked what he saw in pictures.
David Arquette asked if there was any chance of a Sybian ride. Martina wasn't going to be going for that. Howard said his wife only gives him sex once a week so that's why he's got that on his mind. Howard wrapped up with Martina and asked her a couple more questions about the French doctors before letting Martina go. He said he loves her and said she's a national treasure.
Boxer Laila Ali Calls In. 8/15/02. 9:35am
Boxer Laila Ali called in to promote her Pay-Per-View match against Suzy Taylor which is on this Saturday, August 17th at 10pm. Howard spent a little while talking to her about why she boxes and about her childhood. Gary came in and brought up a bunch of things that he read about her growing up and she was a mess. She said all of that stuff was in her book and didn't seem too thrilled that he was bringing it up on the air. She let them talk about it though and she handled it pretty well. Gary brought up her being molested at the ages of 5 and 10 and the fact that she lost her virginity at 14 and had an abortion at 16. Howard also tried to talk to Laila about her sex life and stuff like that but she just seemed to want to plug her fight. Howard stayed on with her for quite a while even though he'd said he wasn't going to. He talked to her about her breast size and stuff like that and she just let him go. After 25 minutes or so he wrapped it up.
Gabrielle Reece Comes In. 9/16/97. 8:55am
Volleyball player/Model Gabrielle Reece came in to plug her book. Howard brought up some stuff from the book like the fact that she doesn't believe in breast implants.. Too bad because she only has an A-Cup on a 6'3'' frame. Howard told her that she's a 9 without implants but she'd be a 10 with them. Howard also heard that she was rumored to have made $35,000 a day while she was modeling. She didn't agree with that figure though. Check out the book if you want to find out more about her.
JD Won't Allow Filming In His Apartment. 06/28/07. 8:35am
Richard said he wants to bring JD out to Coney Island and hang out. He said he's also going to try to get up to his apartment to see what's going on there. Richard said that JD got pissed last week when they were goofing on him by getting him some Jack and Cokes and fooled him into thinking that he was getting drunk. JD said he was waiting for his head to start spinning and it never happened. That led to JD saying that he met a chick who knows actress Katherine Heigl and that he had told her to give her his number. That got the guys laughing and Howard doing his impression of JD.
Richard brought up the crappy food that JD used to eat. Howard said that JD eats a lot of that McDonalds crap. He had him lift his shirt to show off his fat belly. He said he didn't look so bad but he was a little soft. Will came in and said that two girls beat JD at arm wrestling when they were out at a bar last week. Tracy the office manager actually beat him so Howard asked him if that makes him want to go to the gym. JD mumbled something and didn't really answer.
Howard asked JD if he can do 10 push-ups. JD claimed he could so they had him get on the floor to do it. He managed to do it so Howard wondered how a girl beat him at arm wrestling. JD said he's a wimp, that's why he lost. Howard wondered if Robin could beat him. Robin said she'd do it with right arms. They wondered where they could set that up. Howard said he wants this regulated so no one was cheating. He told Robin to just take him right down.
JD and Robin got up and went over to a table to do the arm wrestling thing. Robin wasn't comfortable but neither was JD. Howard had Will count it off and then watched as Robin took JD down. It didn't happen right away but Robin fought and won. She took JD down after about 15 seconds or so. Artie said it was never even a challenge. JD said his arm got tired. Artie said that Robin just went 24 days without eating and she still beat him. He also said that he just dropped below a 1 on a scale of 10.
Gary said that Lindsay the Intern thinks she could beat him too. JD said he's tired of all of this stuff and doesn't want to do it. JD said he doesn't think he could beat her. Gary asked him if he would do it for money. JD said he'd do it ''whatever, fine.'' Robin was goofing on him because he'd just lost to her. Lindsay came in a short time later and Howard said that she couldn't possibly beat him, she's tiny.
Howard said he'd put up $100 for the winner. That was a bit of an incentive for JD to win. Artie threw in another $50. JD ended up taking Lindsay down within a few seconds. Artie asked him what he was doing beating a girl like that. Gary said that he should have beaten her a lot quicker though. Artie said all he could think is that Robin could beat the shit out of Lindsay.
Howard let everyone go and asked JD to think about the filming at his apartment. Artie told him that if he had just done it, this segment never would have happened. Howard said Doug came right to him when he heard that JD didn't want to do it. Howard let him go a short time later.
Howard To Play Against Wheelchair Tennis Guy. 9/28/99. 8:35am
Recently Howard was informed that this guy in a wheelchair had challenged him to a game of tennis. Howard figured that it wouldn't be a problem and he agreed to a game. Today Howard had the guy, Steve Welch, in to talk to him before their game. It turns out that this guy is ranked number 2 in the world of wheelchair tennis. Now Howard knows that he's going to lose the game and he doesn't think they should even bother going through the motions. Steve claims that his fastest serve is only 90 miles per hour! Howard said there's no way he can return a serve that fast. Steve also plays where the ball is allowed to bounce two times. The whole time Howard just kept wondering why he's going to humiliate himself. Steve said he thought Howard was athletic and would be pretty confident today but it wasn't happening. Steve wanted to bet some money on the game but Howard wasn't up for that. Howard suggested that if he wins, Steve has to crawl home and if Howard wins then he'd crawl home.. in his limo. Everyone came in with ideas to give Howard a handicap. It sounds like Howard's just going to play by himself without any handicap. The game will happen after the show today so we'll find out about the outcome tomorrow morning.
Howard's Tennis Game Update. 9/29/99. 8:50am
Yesterday Howard played a game of tennis against a guy in a wheelchair... and lost. He met the tennis player yesterday during the show and played him later in the day. Steven Welch was the wheelchair guy and he came in this morning to talk about the game. Howard said he lost 6 straight games to Steve. Steve gave Howard all kinds of handicaps but he still lost. Howard had two bounces, the whole court and Stuttering John on his team and he still lost. He and John were able to score a couple of times but it wasn't enough. Howard said Steve was amazing in the way he could move his wheelchair around the court. Howard was watching the video while he was talking to Steve and it sounds like it'll be pretty funny to see on TV. Steve will be playing in the Wheelchair U.S. Open in San Diego, California sometime in the near future. He's ranked number 2 in the world right now. Robin later said that Stuttering John played against Steve for an hour before Howard showed up. John was all sweaty and took his shirt off to expose his giant flabby belly. Howard said you could see his ass crack when he'd go running for the ball also.
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Boxer Bernard Hopkins Comes In. 10/2/01. 7:10am
Boxer Bernard Hopkins came in this morning to talk about his win against Felix Tito Trinidad the other night. Howard also spoke to Hopkins about the $100,000 bet he placed for himself before the fight because he was so confident he would win. Bernard came in with his three belts wrapped around his neck and waist this morning. Howard spent some time talking to Bernard about this past weekend's fight and how Bernard has avoided getting managed by Don King and how he has moved up in the world of boxing. Bernard talked about the fight and shared some of the stories he had from being in jail. He committed some crimes as a young man and ended up going to jail for them. He said once he was out of jail he straightened up and went on to box. While he was in jail he said he got into about 15 fights and kept himself from becoming someone's bitch. Bernard told Howard that if he went to jail he'd have to cut off all of that hair because he'd become someone's bitch right away with hair like that.
Bernard told Howard how he took the money that GoldenPalace.com paid him for his sponsorship and bet it all on himself. He had 2.5-1 odds on himself so he ended up doubling the money he bet on himself. The advertising that GoldenPalace.com took out on Bernard was a big fake tattoo on his back. That advertising space is still available and you can find out how to become a sponsor by visiting his web site BernardTheExecutioner.com. Rates start at $500,000!
Hockey Player Mark Messier Comes In. 9/18/00. 8:50am
Mark Messier, captain of the New York Rangers hockey team, came in to talk to Howard for a short time this morning. Mark left the Rangers for a short time and went up to Vancouver to play. Howard thought that it was probably Mark's father who screwed up his contract negotiations. Mark says that's not the case. His father does negotiate his contracts but that's not the reason he left the Rangers. He claims that he left because he saw that the team was going in a different direction and he wasn't part of their plan. He says it had nothing to do with money. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about all of that but soon changed the subject to the hot chicks Mark has dated. Howard heard that Mark was dating model Tyra Banks recently. Mark said that he did go out with her but he didn't have sex with her. Howard asked him if those breasts are real or not. Mark just laughed. Mark says that they were both too busy with their careers and the relationship didn't last.
Howard's buddy Larry ''Ratso'' Sloman called in to kiss Mark's ass for a minute. Ratso is a big hockey fan and even wrote a book about the Rangers a few years ago. He's very happy that Mark is back on the team.
Mark, who's 39 years old, says that he's been in the sport for 23 years now. He loves being back in New York also. Howard asked him about a couple of other players such as Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux and Mark is very humble about his career. Some claim that Mark is the best player ever but he says that Gretzky is better than he is.
Howard wouldn't stray from the subject of hot models for long. A listener told Howard that Mark dated model Frederique for a while. Howard quickly asked Mark about that. Once again Mark didn't have many details. He said he went out with her for a while but when he went to Vancouver they had to break up. He didn't give many details of that relationship. Howard tried to get them but they just weren't coming out.
Howard got back on the subject of Mark's father. Mark says that he pays his father 5% of his income for the contract negotiations. Howard thinks that must be pretty uncomfortable for Mark to have to pay his father like that. Mark doesn't think much of it though.
Howard took a few phone calls for mark and they were split between people who hate him and love him. Some guys said he just sucks and some people were telling him he's like God to them. Howard also plugged Mark's charity ''Tomorrow's Children's Fund'' which you can contact at 212-465-6486. He also said that the Rangers have an open practice today at Madison Square Garden. Anyone can go watch for free today. Howard was starting to wrap things up when he remembered that Mark dated Madonna years ago. He said that he dated her when she was still ''Madonna'' not what she's become today. Howard tried to get some info on that but it was kind of tough. Mark says that they just went on one date and he didn't get anything more than a kiss out of her. He had dinner and walked her home and that was pretty much it. Howard said ''You must have decorated her stomach like a cake!'' before Mark told him that nothing happened. Howard asked him if she stunk or something. Mark didn't say why he didn't try for anything more.
Wayne Gretzky Comes In. 10/22/96.
Hockey great, Wayne Gretzky, came in today just to hang out for a little while. Howard and Wayne talked mostly about Wayne's beautiful wife Janet Jones. Howard asked Wayne why Janet dropped out of show business. Janet wanted kids so she popped out 3 of them for Wayne. That's why she's been out of show business for a while. Wayne said that she's going to get back into it soon. The kids are getting older so she's going to start working again. Wayne had to get going to practice so he didn't stay too long.
Strip Sports Trivia. 3/17/00. 8:45am
25 year old Heather Tindell from SportsPage.com came in to play a trivia game against Gary. Howard heard that she is an expert in sports trivia so they figured they'd play a game of strip trivia. Gary is also very knowledgeable in sports so it looked like a good match up. Howard was very impressed with Heather's looks. She was gorgeous with huge, natural breasts. She used to be a fat chick but she slimmed down by working out and becoming a vegetarian. She also said she's only had two boyfriends in her life. She's been hit on quite a bit by athletes. She claimed that Shaquille O'Neil's manager came up to her recently and asked her for her number.
Howard eventually got to the game and said that the first thing to come off would be shoes and socks followed by shirt then by pants. The first question was ''What football player rushed for 2003 yards in 1973?'' Heather didn't know the answer. Gary said it was OJ Simpson. Heather's shoes came off. Next question ''What does TKO stand for?'' Gary got it with technical knock out. Next question ''Where is Mile High Stadium?'' Heather didn't know but answered ''Canada''. Off came her shirt. Gary gave the correct answer of Denver. She was wearing a bikini top but it didn't show off much of her nice breasts. Everyone liked them though. Next question was ''What is the height of a basketball hoop?'' Gary gave the wrong answer of 12 feet. Heather got it right with 10 feet. Next question ''What yard line does an NFL football team kick off from?'' Heather said 10 and got it wrong. Gary knew it was the 35. Off came Heather's pants. She said that she wouldn't take off any more clothes but they talked her into getting into a sexier bathing suit if they continued to play. Howard asked her a question about the coach of the 1969 New York Jets and she had no clue. Gary changed it to the current coach of the Jets and she still didn't know. She then got into a sexier bathing suit. Finally they asked her to get into a thong if she got the final question wrong. She agreed and was asked ''What basketball player averaged a triple-double for the whole season?'' She didn't know what a triple-double was so she didn't get it right. She went and changed into a thong. Gary wasn't sure of the correct answer either. Howard told him it was Oscar Robinson. Heather came out showing off her nice ass to everyone so Howard let her plug SportsPage.com a little more. He kept her around to play the Gossip Game.
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Golfer John Daly Visits. 05/17/06. 8:45am
After the break Howard said he was reading up on their next guest, John Daly, who is a pretty interesting guy. He said that a lot of people like the guy and watch the golf games when he's playing. John came in a short time later and Howard was so into the stories that he forgot to say hi to him.
Howard said that Tiger Woods once said that if John took the time to play the game instead of drinking and gambling, he'd be incredible at the game. John said that the more he practices, the worse he is so he doesn't bother. John said that he started playing when he was about 4 years old and pretty much taught himself. Now his son is playing and he's only 2 and a half.
Howard asked John how he got into golf at such a young age. John said they had cartoons back when he was a kid and they taught him what he needed to know. Howard told John that he was playing audio clips earlier where some people were claiming it was impossible that he could have lost $60 million. John said those people are idiots because that sixty million included wins and stuff. He said he once won $1.8 million playing slot machines.
John said that his kids are taken care of for the rest of their lives so it's not like he's gambling away their future. He just likes to go out and have fun. John has lots of endorsement deals and people call him the NASCAR guy because he has so many logos on his shirt.
John said that he was once playing a game where he had Trim Spa and Dunkin Donuts on the same shirt and Tiger pointed it out to him. He said that it's better than having Miller Light and AA on the same shirt.
Robin asked John if he would ever bet on his own games. John said he just likes to play the slots and he would never bet on his own game. He said that maybe people can learn from the mistakes he's made. He's been married four times and his current wife is in jail right now. He started to explain that story but Howard went back to his other wives and asked about them.
John is 40 years old and he's had a lot of crazy stuff happen in his life. Howard asked him how he got his gambling problem under control. He told John about Artie's drinking and gambling and things like that. John said that he actually stopped drinking the hard liquor and decided to just stick to beer. John said things are going just fine since he started doing that.
Howard actually gave John permission to smoke in the studio after John asked. They were talking about how John smokes on the course when he's playing. You could hear John lighting up his cigarette on mic. That led to Artie asking if he could have one too since John was smoking. Howard told him to go ahead.
Howard asked John about naming one of his kids after the rehab center he went to. John said that was true and his daughter's name is Sierra. Howard said that rehab apparently didn't work for these guys because they're still drinkers. Gary gave John a Heineken Light to try out while he was smoking. John took a big gulp of the beer and said that he and Artie could sit there all day doing that.
Howard asked John about his first marriage which didn't work out. John said he still talks to her, they just got married to young. The second wife was still married when he got married to her but he wasn't aware of that. Now he's got a wife who's in jail and claims that he's trying to stay faithful to her and it's very tough. John said that he doesn't beat off to relieve himself. He said he just can't do that.
Howard read through some of his other notes about John and saw that his third wife claimed that there was some kind of inappropriate marital conduct that went on. John said that never really came out so he's not sure what she was talking about.
Howard asked John about the drinking and what he considers moderation. John said that about 20 beers a day is moderation. That got a laugh out of Artie. Artie went on to say that everyone is different and some people can handle the alcohol. He knew that the guys were going to laugh at that but he believes it's true.
John said that he thinks he has his gambling under control too. He went to the Wynn casino and ended up gambling on a $5000 slot machine where each coin was worth five grand. Artie was blown away by that one. John said he lost about $600,000 on that machine.
Howard said that this was a big deal to have John on the show. He gave him a plug for his book ''My Life in and out of the Rough : The Truth Behind All That Bull**** You Think You Know About Me'' and said that he'll be signing copies at a couple of stores in New York City and New Jersey today.
Howard read through some other notes about John's diet and how he drinks a ton of Diet Coke and peanut M&Ms. He's eaten as many as 20 packs of the M&Ms during a golf tournament. They were going over some of that stuff and Gary came in and asked about John's father put a gun to his head. John told the story about how he had a girlfriend at a party he was at and his father was trying to grab her ass. He and a few other guys walked him home to calm him down but then his father came walking out of the room with a gun in his hand. His brother pulled the gun out of his hand, shot a shot off and threw the gun out the window. John said he didn't think the gun was loaded so it was good that his brother pulled it away from the guy.
Howard asked John about the gambling and if he's still playing the slots. John said he will still bring about $50,000 to a casino and play that. He won't play the big slots unless he's winning. He told Howard some other stories about his sex life as well. He once had a threesome where his girlfriend was eating out another chick while he was doing his girlfriend.
John told Howard that he's got a penis that's about 10 inches long and about half the girth of a beer can. Howard thought that was pretty amazing. He didn't have any idea that he had something like that in his pants. Howard said that he's a 10 incher if he measures from the Arctic Circle.
Howard read an e-mail from someone who claimed that John killed a tiger one time when he threw his shirt into a tiger cage and the tiger ate the shirt. John said that's not true, he did throw his shirt into a cage and the tiger ripped it up but it didn't die.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for John. One guy said that John got him into golf after he watched him on TV. He said he saw him hit a 400 yard drive one time and it was pretty amazing. Artie asked him how far his longest drive ever was. John said it was an 800 yard drive at an airport. Artie said that's pretty amazing because just hitting a 200 yard drive is tough.
One caller told Howard that he heard that John drank a 12 pack after he got out of the Betty Ford clinic. John said that wasn't true, he got out and didn't have any drinks for a couple of years. Howard said he likes John's attitude because he's so relaxed. He figures he'd be all tense and crazy if he were playing the game.
A phone caller told Howard that when John came on the scene he was hitting balls farther than anyone else when he started playing. He also asked him about a Niagara Falls thing he did where he was trying to drive a ball over the falls. John said the weather conditions were really bad there and only one of the drives hit the rocks on the other side. The caller was also saying that John is the only guy they would show smoking on the course because things have changed so much over the years.
John spent a little more time talking about his current wife and the prison time she's spending. She's in there for 5 months but will be out soon. Then she has 5 months of house arrest and parole after that. He said he probably won't leave the house during that time. She got in trouble while helping her father out with his business. John said that he doesn't think it was her fault though.
A phone caller told Howard about John telling a fan to fuck off when he was asked for an autograph. John didn't think that was true but the caller swore that he saw him do it. Howard told John that Artie is a big fan of his. Artie told Howard he'd enjoy watching him play so Howard asked him to let him know when it's on and he'll watch. He wrapped up with John a short time later after giving him some plugs for his book and book signings.
The Gossip Game With Guest Lawrence Taylor. 9/7/01. 7:30am
Ex-football player Lawrence Taylor came in this morning to play the Mike Walker Gossip Game with Howard. Howard had to rush through the interview pretty quickly because L.T. Had to get to a golf game and Mike Walker was calling in from England.
Mike was on the phone shortly after L.T. came in and Howard ended up talking to L.T. about his relationship with OJ Simpson. L.T. defends OJ when the whole murder thing comes up. Howard and the rest of the crew were goofing on him for defending OJ but he didn't have anything bad to say about the guy. They play golf together down in Miami and they're pretty close. Howard asked L.T. a bunch of questions about OJ and he tried to answer them but Howard and the other guys were making so many jokes about him that he didn't get the chance to answer.
L.T. admitted that he's probably seen OJ naked at some point in his life but when Howard asked him who's penis was bigger, he didn't have an answer. He said when he showers with other guys he looks at the wall, not at their penises. Howard plugged the ''Toughman 911: New York Cops vs. New York Firemen'' that airs at 9pm on the FX network. L.T. is hosting that show.
Howard then moved on to play the Gossip game with Mike Walker. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker, author of ''Malicious Intent'', calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to L.T. after the game. They talked about L.T.'s past drug and alcohol problems and how he went through rehab. Artie Lange said he went to the same rehab center so they swapped a couple of stories with each other. L.T. Said he was put in charge of the sports events while he was in rehab while Artie claims he was in charge of cleaning the toilets. L.T. Said he never had to clean the toilets while he was there.
The Fart Olympics. 06/20/06. 8:10am
After the break Howard got in a plug for Riley Martin's show that airs tonight on Howard 101 at 7pm. He did a little bit of his impression and then played a couple of Riley Martin song parodies. He and Robin were singing along with those songs.
Howard then moved on to the Fart Olympics where they had a $5,000 grand prize for the winner. Howard had the three contestants come in and then had each one introduce themselves. First up was Flex who was in his underpants. Howard said the guy is in good shape and went on to ask him how he prepared for this. Flex said he didn't have to prepare at all. He did practice a bit in the green room though. Flex said he can do this stuff constantly if he has to. Howard had him demonstrate a little bit for them and he let out some very wet sounding farts.
Gary said that his underwear is see through and you can see his rectum puckering in there. Howard asked Flex if he believes he's the best farter there. He was pretty confident but he knows he's got some competition there today. Howard read that Flex can say ''thank-you'' and ''hello'' with his ass so he had him demonstrate that. He blasted out a couple of farts but they didn't sound like thank-you or hello.
Will was wearing a mask and told Howard that he could see his whole asshole moving while standing behind him. Flex demonstrated another stunt he does where he sticks a straw in his ass and then blows bubbles in a glass of water. Flex thought he was ripping his ass as he shoved the straw in there. He thought it was too thin and said it might not work. He attempted to fart through the straw but it was hurting too bad. Howard told him to remove it and try to recover for a few minutes. Flex drank the water he was just trying to fart into.
Howard introduced Mike the Farter who had a really long beard, like an Abraham Lincoln beard. Howard asked him about his farting practice out in the green room. He asked Mike what his strongest category is. Mike said he thinks he may be able to win the ''most farts in a minute'' section. If he wins he's going to put his money toward going to college.
Howard said this will be a great competition and he's been waiting for months for this to happen. He said that when they were on Terrestrial radio, they had to stop farting on the air because they were afraid that the FCC was going to fine people for farts that sounded ''too wet.'' Howard had a fart ready to go so he interrupted the guys and let one rip into the microphone. That was a ''real'' fart, not the type that these guys were doing by sucking air into their asses and blowing it out.
Howard spoke to Will the Farter for a short time and then moved on to the contest. Howard said that there's a $5,000 grand prize for the winner today. The money was coming from GoldenPalace.com. Artie sang a little Ann Murray for the guys and Flex threw in a fart for him.
Gary started off the Olympics with the loudest fart attempt. They had a decibel meter in the studio to measure the loudest fart. First up was Flex. He tried to blast one out but it wasn't very loud. He sucked in some air and let one rip. It was a 10.5 on the meter. Mike got up next and tried to beat Flex. He sucked air in and blasted out a few before blasting out his final. He got a 10.0 on the meter. Howard was surprised at that. Will the Farter got up next and blasted out his fart. He also got a 10.0 on the meter and surprised everyone again. Howard thought it was much louder but not according to the meter.
Will the Farter took his pants off and blasted out a fart and hit a 10.8 on the meter. Will was upset that he didn't take his pants off earlier, before blasting out his ''official fart.'' Howard said the smell was getting pretty bad in there and wanted Robin to come in and take a whiff. Artie wasn't getting any of the smell yet but Howard said he was getting hit. Robin said Howard looked like he was going to throw up.
Howard moved on to the next category, with a mask on. Artie had a mask on as well but his mask was making it hard to hear him. Gary said the next event was the Longest fart event. Each guy had to prepare, then say ''go'' when they were ready to blast away. Flex warmed up and then let out a fart that lasted 10 seconds. Mike was up next and warmed up. Howard told him to make sure he lets Gange know when he wants to go. He quickly went right into it and blasted out a fart that lasted 13 seconds! Howard sounded shocked by that. Mike said he was hoping that it wouldn't stop but his ass has a mind of it's own when it comes to stuff like that. Will the Farter was next. He was looking down according to Howard and Robin. He warmed up a short time later and told Gange to go. He let his fart out slowly and lasted 18 seconds!
Howard moved on to the next event which was the ''Most Farts in a Minute'' event. Flex went up first and had to make sure he told everyone when he was ready to go. He sucked in some air and then started blasting away. He let out the short farts and hit 70 farts. He wasn't too happy with that, he was going for 100. Mike was ready to go next and said he's hoping to beat him but he's not sure he can beat it. He warmed up a little bit and then told them to go. He blasted out his short farts, sucked in more air, let out more farts and kept going for almost the full minute. He was worn out and stalled toward the end. He hit 74 farts. Jason said he counted 77 so Howard gave him 75.5. Will got up next and started blasting away. He had a couple of long farts in there and hit 76 farts. He asked Jason for his count and he had 80.
Howard crowned Will the Farter with the farting Olympics crown since he had won 2 events. Flex had some strong competition in there. He thought Mike was very strong and thought there was going to be a 3 way tie. He locked up in the most farts event with 3 seconds left. If he hadn't locked up, he may have been able to pull off a win. Howard said all three guys were great athletes and stunk up the room like a pile of shit. He congratulated Will the Farter on his win. Artie did the same and said that Will has been with them the longest but they all did great.
Howard presented Will with his $5,000 grand price from GoldenPalace.com and asked Artie to sing them out. Artie sang a Bruce Springsteen song while the guys farted along with him. All three of them got in on the farting and backed Artie up as Robin laughed her ass off. Gary said that his mask was no longer working. The guys got in a few plugs for their web sites before Howard went to break...
Today's The Wide World of Howard Stern Sports was over around 10:50am.
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Shaquille O'Neal Comes In. 10/2/98. 8:40am
Basketball player Shaquille O'Neal came in to promote his new CD ''Respect.'' I don't know if was just me but I could barely understand a word this guy said. He talks in such a low monotone that you had to have your head right next to the radio to hear his answers. Howard was talking to him about his sex life and about his eating habits but I'm not sure how he answered half the questions. Shaq had some of his posse in the studio with him too. They were able to speak clearly. I think the guys that were with Shaq want to go to Robin's gym to see her work out. They were talking about doing that but I doubt that Robin would want them there. After the interview Howard said that Shaq bench pressed Robin. He lifted her up over his head out in the hallway for some reason. I'll try listening to the Shaq interview one more time to see if there's anything worth mentioning but I doubt that I'll find anything.
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Boxer Ray 'Boom Boom' Mancini comes in. 6/19/96
'Boom Boom' Mancini came in this morning to plug some low budget movie that he's in. 'Boom Boom' may be best known for being a white guy that can beat up black guys or maybe for actually killing a guy in a fight, although not intentionally. Howard talked to him about his career and the movie 'The search for one eye Jimmy'. 'Boom Boom' is in it along with a ton of other big names in Hollywood. Mancini also spars with Bob Dylan! Howard was pretty surprised by that fact since Dylan looks like an old dried up prune.
Evander Holyfield and Hasim Rahman Come In. 4/17/02. 8:45am
Boxers Evander Holyfield and Hasim Rahman came in to talk to Howard about their upcoming fight. Howard told Evander and Hasim it was nice to meet both of them. He said that they both looked pissed at him instead of each other when they walked in.
He then asked Evander why he continues to fight after the whole Mike Tyson ear biting thing. Evander said there's one belt that has eluded him and he wants to get that belt. Howard asked Evander what he did with his ear after Tyson bit part of it off. Evander said he just left it the way it was.
Howard spoke to Hasim a bit too. He asked him if he thinks he can actually beat Holyfield. Hasim said he wouldn't be fighting if he didn't think he could win.
Howard also asked Hasim about the rumor that he had a big $100 million deal with HBO and Don King came in and offered him a couple hundred thousand in cash to fight for him. He took the money from Don and blew the HBO deal off. Hasim said that wasn't quite true. He said King made him a $75 million deal but he hasn't gotten the money yet.
Howard asked the two if they have hatred toward each other. Evander said he doesn't hate anyone and he doesn't have to work up any hatred for the fight.
Howard talked to Evander about his bad marriage and how he didn't have a pre-nuptial agreement when he got married. He told Howard he knew the marriage wasn't going to work the day after he got married. He said he doesn't believe in pre-nuptial agreements so if he ever does get married again he still won't sign one.
Hasim told Howard that he doesn't get any hot chicks because he doesn't look for that. Howard told him that's the best part of being a celebrity though. He can get hot chicks being a fighter.
Robin says she thinks that Evander will beat Hasim in their upcoming fight. She said that Evander is an amazing boxer and has skills that Hasim just doesn't have. Hasim actually agreed with Robin about Evander having better skills. He said that he's been boxing guys who are better than him since he started though. He said he's fought them and won so he's used to it. He thinks that he can beat Evander even though his skills aren't up to the level of Evander's.
Howard talked to Evander about the house he lives in down in Atlanta. Howard read that he has a 135 seat theater and 17 bathrooms in his house. All of the guys were wondering who uses all of those bathrooms. Evander said he's got a bunch of kids and they can all use the bathroom when they need to. Hasim said he only has 5 bathrooms in his home.
The Holyfield-Rahman fight will take place down in Atlantic City and will air June 1st on HBO.
Howard took some phone calls for the guys and spoke to Evander about his 9 kids for a short time before wrapping up the interview. Howard said he'd make a prediction about the fight but he knows nothing about it. He asked Artie who he's going to bet on. Artie said it's tough to bet against Evander again but Rahman looks tough.
Bill Romanowski And His Wife Visit. 10/19/05. 8:55am
Howard came back from break and mentioned that he'll be appearing on David Letterman's show on November 17th. He then moved on to former pro-football player Bill Romanowski who was there with his wife. They weren't going to bring in his wife but Howard figured it couldn't hurt so they let Julie come in with him. Julie told Howard about the kids they have together. Artie ended up getting into the bets that he's placed and lost because of Bill. The two of them spent a short time talking about that and what went on back in those days. Howard then brought up the 60 Minutes interview that Bill did where he broke down and cried while talking about his career. Bill said he is a pretty emotional guy but he doesn't regret crying during that interview. Bill said he's been playing football since he was 10 so it was pretty tough to give up the game. He said that he's been told that football players have two deaths, the day they retire from football and the day they die. That's the way he feels about his retirement. He was only 37 when he retired and Robin said he looks like a young guy.
Bill isn't well liked by other players so he talked about that. He said that he used to be friends with Shannon Sharp but he ended up getting mad at him when he broke his arm. Howard played a tape of a guy bad mouthing Bill about the way he refers to himself in the third person and how Bill would do things to hurt other guys on purpose and then claim that he didn't do them on purpose. The guys were saying that Bill is just trying to sell a book these days.
Howard said that Bill isn't as big as he thought he would be. Bill said he's really not that big and he played at about 240 pounds. Now he's down to about 225. He also told Howard that he was taking a drug called THG back when he was playing and thought that it was safe to use. He also told the guys about this stuff he took which was live cells from Scottish Black Sheep that was supposed to strengthen him. He heard that the brain cells of sheep go right to your brain and it's supposed to regenerate that tissue. Howard cut him off and talked about some notes he had about Bill. There was a story about Bill grabbing the face mask of a team mate of his and ended up punching the guy in the face accidentally. They were in a fight and the guy's helmet came off as he was taking a swing at him. He claimed that was an accident and he had to pay the guy's salary for a year. Howard asked him if he was all about kicking ass when he was playing the game. Bill said that when you do knock out another team's player, it fires up your own team. They would tell him that the hit was the best hit they had ever seen and it would get them all going to win.
Robin mentioned that Bill had broken the eye socket of a black player one time so Howard talked to him about that and if he would be willing to fight Mike Tyson. Bill said he wouldn't fight him. The guys also asked him if he really grabbed a guy's balls one time just because he could. Bill said that was true and it was true that he broke the finger of a player who was in the bottom of a pile up one time. Bill said he was trying to get the ball and all he found was the finger so he broke it. Bill was also telling Howard about his marriage that has lasted 12 years so far.
Howard asked Bill if he knows of any homosexuals in the NFL but Bill said he never bothered to find out, he was too busy doing other things. He was asked about the locker room and if he ever checked out the other guys. Bill said he didn't really do that. Julie said their son noticed that when he was brought into the locker room one time though and said that he saw some very different looking guys in there.
Howard read some notes about Bill and how he once stepped on the testicles of a player as he was running over him. Bill claims that he didn't do that on purpose and wasn't really aiming for them. He said that it was in the heat of battle and he's had the same thing done to him. Howard gave Bill a plug for his book ''Romo: My Life on the Edge--Living Dreams and Slaying Dragons'' and said that he'll be signing copies of it at a Barnes and Nobel in New York City today.
Howard took some phone calls for Bill and one guy asked him to talk about the supplements that Bill was taking when he was playing. Bill said he was taking up to 100 supplements a day back then. He used to have his doody tested for parasites back then as well. His urine would also turn purple because of the supplements he was taking. The caller also thinks that Bill was just playing the game the way it should be. Another caller said that Bill was a cheat and a dirty player and wanted to dump rocks on his head when he left the studio today. Ralph also called in and told Bill not to go back on what he's done in his career if he didn't feel badly about them when he did them. Bill said he looks back on that stuff now and feels bad and he just did that crazy stuff because he was playing the game with fear. Another caller asked Bill why he spit in JJ Stokes' face years ago. Bill said that he doesn't know why he did that. Howard told him that's the problem, he says he doesn't know why he did that stuff, but he did it. Bill said he would do that stuff to get the other guys pissed off at him to throw them off.
Howard asked Bill if he's worried about the effects of his 20 concussions. Bill said that he already has problems from those concussions and they've been haunting him. Julie said that he's had some testing done and couldn't even remember her name when they were asking him to give some girl names from A to Z. Gary came in and tried to get Bill to cry by asking him about his son. It wasn't working so Howard asked him why he cried for 60 Minutes but not for him. Bill said those guys spent 3 days with him and worked on him for that long. Gary asked him to talk about not clearing out his locker after he retired and that got Bill a little emotional. He said that he left his helmet and pads behind in that locker because it would be so hard to walk away from that stuff. Howard wasn't able to break him down to tears. Robin was asking him some questions about his final days in the NFL and going down the tunnel for the last time. Bill said that he was sad that day but he still wasn't crying for them. Howard let Bill talk about the concussions and what could have happened to him if he had kept playing.
Bill said that he would let his son play football even after everything he's been through. Howard said it's really not worth it and he should have his son play baseball, golf or something like that so he doesn't get hurt so bad. Howard gave Bill some more plugs for his book and the appearance he's making today. Artie also gave Bill a hypothetical question about which quarterback he would want to play with, Joe Montana or John Elway. Bill said that he'd prefer to play with both because they're both great guys and great players. Howard was trying to get into some sex talk with Bill and his wife but Julie thought there were better things to talk about. Howard had some fun with that and then went to break a short time later.
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Artie's New Challenger For The Basketball Game In Vegas. 4/3/03. 9:45am
After taking a break Howard had the names of the guys he wanted to expose. He said these guys are hiding behind the corporate company name Telepictures. He said the President is Jim Peritorre and the executive VP is Bruce Rosenblum. Not sure of the spelling for their names though. Howard invited the two of them to come on his show and explain how they developed the show.
Howard took a call from Al Rosenberg who used to work on the show. Al told Howard that he sold Telepictures a new idea based on a home video he had. He said Howard was at his son's Bar Mitzvah so they're going to do a show called ''Howard Comes to my Kid's Bar Mitzvah'' with him. Howard and Al goofed on Don Imus for a couple of minutes. Al said there's no ideas coming out of Imus' show that can be ripped off.
Gary came in a minute later and said they have a WNBA player out in the green room and he had a great conversation with her. He said she thinks there's no way Artie can keep up with her. She's 6'1'' tall. Her name is Marissa Graby(News story) or something like that. Howard said she's actually very pretty for someone that tall. Howard asked her a couple of questions about her dating life and then asked Artie if he thinks he can beat her. Artie quickly said he could. Marissa then told Howard that she played for Penn State for a while and played in the WABA which competes with the WNBA. Gary said there are other women who want to take Artie on in a game of basketball. Marissa thinks she should play Artie because they're closer in height. Artie seems to agree. Howard had her take her shoes off and stand next to Artie. They're almost the same height. Artie said it's a woman and they're going to play a sport so he's definitely going to beat her. Gary said they'd discuss it in their show meeting today and figure out who is going to play Artie for the $10,000. Artie said this chick is a perfect challenge because she's not a pro. If she beats him then his theory is blown. Stuttering John said they have a ton of women who want to take him on. Gary said he thinks he could pull a woman off the street who would be able to beat Artie. Artie agrees that she's a better human specimen than him but they're playing basketball so there's no competition. This game is going to be a 15 point game. Howard said it's great because Marissa is quiet. She'll probably beat him too.
Howard told Marissa that she'll win $10,000 if she beats Artie. If she loses, she should have to kiss Artie full on the lips. Artie suggested that she be forced to make him a full course dinner while he verbally abuses her. Artie has asked to do this on the first day they're out in Vegas. He wants to be able to drink the rest of the time.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to Marissa about her breasts and some other stuff like that. Howard said he thinks that she'll blow Artie out of the water in this game. He said he doesn't even think Artie will get 4 points. He was willing to put up $500 with Artie on that bet. Gary asked Marissa how much she played ball when she was in college. She said she played every single day. Marissa said that she's going to try and make Howard's bet happen and not let Artie score more than 4 points.
Crazy Cabbie called in and said that he thinks Artie can win. Howard said he has to say that because he's a fat, white guy himself. He said he's ready to take all bets on that too.
Howard took a call from Marissa's boyfriend. He asked him about banging her but the guy wasn't talking. He said that Marissa practiced playing ball with other guys. Robin said if that's the case he's going to lose.
Robin and the other guys were putting money up against Artie. Artie didn't want to bet that much but took three $500 bets with them. Howard said he thinks they're going to do the game with Marissa because she actually showed up at the station. Howard had her show off her body a bit because she said she still works out every day. Howard said she's got a great body from what he could see.
Artie said it's three weeks before they go to Vegas and he's already down two grand. Artie asked Marissa a few questions about her workout and laughed at her when she said she can bench press 115 pounds. He said he hasn't worked out since high school and he could still bench that much. Artie joked that he can't wait to go to Vegas on a Monday night and have a nice warm glass of milk. Marissa said that's a good thing to mention because she grew up on a dairy farm. Gary said she told him earlier that she used to throw big, heavy bails of hay on the farm. Howard had to wrap up everything once again so he could take another break.
The Stern Show In Las Vegas 2003. 4/23/03. 7-8am
After taking another break Howard and the guys were outside for Artie's basketball game. He described the scene and said that the game was sponsored by Bally Total Fitness. Sitting next to Howard was Larry Michael who would be announcing the game for them. Larry said he was wrong when he picked Cabbie to win the fight against Stuttering John so he was going to pick Artie to win today. He said Artie has the advantage of ''girth'' against Marissa. Marissa has a height advantage though. Howard asked Marissa how much she weighs. She said she's at 175 or so. Artie claimed he was the same weight. Howard went on to introduce ''Marv Albert'' who was also sitting in for the game. The Marv impersonator had a few jokes to throw in about Artie. Artie had a wireless microphone hooked up to him so he'd be able to talk during the game. Howard started the game a short time later. He had to plug SportChalet.com since they hooked them up with the basketball equipment. Howard then turned it over to Michael Buffer who gave them a rundown of the players. Marissa Graby is 6'2'' tall and weighs in 175 pounds. Artie is 5'10'' tall and weighs in somewhere between 200 and 300 pounds depending on how much he's eaten or thrown up that day. Buffer then gave them a ''Let's get ready for Roundball!''
Howard turned it over to Larry Michael and introduced the ref, Bobby McRoy. The game started and Marissa took the ball. It was a 15 point game and the winner had to win by 2 points. Artie got the first point and the crowd went nuts when he got it. Artie took another shot and hit it again. Marissa finally got one a short time later. Marissa missed a free throw but got another basket within seconds. Artie got another one which brought it to 3-2. Artie was fouling Marissa according to Robin. Artie hit another shot and got his fourth shot in. Howard bet that he wouldn't even get 4 shots so he lost $1,200. Artie had to take a break a short time later because he was winded and needed a drink of water. The score was 4-3. Artie hit another one a minute later bringing it to 5. Larry Michaels was giving the play by play the whole time. Howard said that Marissa's nose was bleeding at one point. Robin said Artie was playing kind of rough. Marissa fouled Artie at one point. Within a short time it was 9-4 with Artie winning. He was hitting shots from way outside and was making just about every shot. He was dominating the game much to the surprise of Howard. The score was 10-5 and Artie hit another according to Larry. The crowd started cheering Artie's name. Robin wondered where this was coming from because Artie is no athlete. During most of the game they had the song ''Sweet Georgia Brown'' playing like it was a Harlem Globetrotters game. Artie was up to 12-5 and Marissa finally hit another shot. Howard said this was more exciting than a professional game. Robin said it's obvious that Artie doesn't have a problem hitting a woman in the face. He was fouling her a lot during the game. The score was soon 12-8 with Artie winning. Marissa was finally catching up and got it up to 12-9. Robin said Artie was getting tired. The score was soon 13-10. Artie shot another one and got it up to 14-10. One more point and he'd win. Howard said Artie was out of breath but he was still hanging in there. He was missing a few shots here and there. Marissa got it up to 14-12... Then it was 14-13, then 14-14! The winner had to win by 2 points. Marissa went up, took a shot and missed. Artie also missed a shot. The two of them were both missing shots like crazy. Larry said both of them looked tired by this time. Marissa ended up winning 16-14. Artie was upset and didn't give her a hug. Artie played really well so Howard let him know. Artie admitted defeat and wished Marissa luck with the ten grand. Marissa came back from a 12-6 score to beat Artie. Artie said that he still thinks he can beat a WNBA chick. Howard introduced a guy from Bally Total Fitness who presented Marissa with some fitness equipment. Howard spoke to her for a minute and gave Bally a few plugs since they put up the $10,000 for the game. Artie thanked Bally himself since he worked out a bit before this game. He said without them, he would have lost 16-13 instead of 16-14. Howard gave plugs to Larry Michael and Michael Buffer as well. He took a break a short time later.
The Stern Show In Las Vegas 2003. 4/23/03. 8-9am
Most of the basketball game took place during the 8 o'clock hour. It started earlier but ran until about 8:20 or so. When Howard came back from break, around half past the hour, he was back inside the Hard Rock. He was complaining about his microphone and headphones not working correctly. He asked Scott the Engineer to get things working. He then congratulated Artie on almost winning. Artie said he didn't get one call in his favor during the game. He said he was getting fouled quit a bit. Gary told Artie that he beat up a chick while he was out there because he was fouling her like crazy. Gary said that Artie has ''an amazing shot'' though. A listener called in and told Artie he sucks and should be forced to go home. Howard wondered when all of this is going to air. Doug Goodstein said something about 2 weeks but even Howard didn't know what he was talking about. Artie said if they had played to 11 points, he would have won. He was really worn out by the end of the game. A few people called in to complain about Artie losing because he was so confident he was going to win.
Michael Strahan Visits. 09/15/09. 7:00am
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal made to a modeling agency using Crazy Alice audio clips. Fred also played Lenny Kravitz ''Are You Gonna Go My Way'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and had Michael Strahan come in. He was there to promote his new TV show ''Brothers'' which premieres later this month.
Howard said that Michael is a big dude. He said he doesn't even care about the Giants. Michael played for them for 15 years. Howard asked if he was popular in high school. Michael said he grew up in Europe with his father who was in the army. He said his father whopped his ass with belts and stuff. He said they were good because he's straight.
Howard asked Michael if he has ever had to take a hand to his kids. Michael said he never has but that's because he never felt he had to. He said that his father did what he did based on the times. Howard said his parents never hit him. Michael said his brothers deserved what they got.
Howard asked Michael if he had to take his pants off to get the beatings. Michael said that he didn't have to do that. He said he did get hit with a belt though. Howard asked what the worst thing he ever did was. Michael said it was a long time since all of that happened. He wasn't sure what he did. He said that back then that's what parents did. He said he's 37 years old and that's the way kids were raised. Howard said that Michael's parents must be proud of him now. Michael said ''Oh yeah.''
Howard asked Michael about the pranks they used to pull on each other while playing football. Michael said a lot of the stuff they did involved nudity and stuff. He said that there have been times that a guy is talking to another guy in the shower and one of them is peeing on the other guy. He said he doesn't get that kind of stuff.
Michael said that one time one of the guys, Shawn O'Hara, took a picture of his balls and made it his screen saver. He said that's just not cool. He doesn't want some white guy's balls on his screen.
Howard said he read that one prank was the center cutting the crotch out of his pants and when the quarterback goes down there, his balls are hanging down there. Michael said that guy is the same guy who put his balls on his computer. He said that guy has problems.
Howard said he heard that the German chicks love black men. He asked if he was getting a lot of pussy over there. Michael wasn't answering but he said that they do love black men over there.
Howard asked Michael about his marriage and how bad that was. Michael said that it was bad toward the end. Howard read some stuff about that divorce and read that he had to give her $15.3 million in the settlement. Michael that's not true and they just settled everything about a month ago. That report Howard was reading was from 2008. Michael told Howard that she had an argument that had no merit and the judge had this thing for women and that judge sided with his wife. Michael said that they basically broke the pre-nup and the judge changed what the judge wanted to change. Michael said he's happy with the way things turned out though. He said that divorce is expensive because it's worth it.
Michael said that things are going good for him and he thinks that he's going to be okay later in life. He said he hates those autograph signings and he doesn't want to have to do those later in his life. He said he thinks that he'll be okay.
Michael told Howard about his new TV show ''Brothers'' and how that's based loosely on his life. Howard asked if he likes this acting thing. He said he does enjoy it and it's not so bad remembering the lines. He said it's the same as remembering plays in a play book. Howard said he could never do that. He asked how long it takes to memorize that stuff. Michael said they change it every day anyway so it takes some time.
Howard said he really can't remember stuff so he can't act like that. Michael said that they have to write him into a show had have him come on.
Howard asked Michael about his girlfriend, Nicole Mitchell, who sued to be married to Eddie Murphy. Howard asked if she would come in. Michael told Howard that if she comes in there they're not going to have any of this crazy talk. Howard said he'd get to that first then.
Howard asked Michael how he met this girl. Michael said he had a friend call him and tell him about this woman and set him up on a date. Howard asked if he had seen her when she was with Eddie. He said he had so he knew that she was hot. He said she has 5 kids and she doesn't look like she's had any. Howard said he's seen pictures and she really does look good.
Howard asked Michael how long it took before he got her in bed. Michael said if she had said it was okay the first night he would have been fine with it. He said it was actually a while before he got her. He said he didn't see her for a couple of weeks after the first time. He said she went back to L.A. for a couple of weeks. Michael said he wasn't trying to push up on her and he wasn't going to do anything too crazy.
Michael said that he called her a couple of weeks later and they went out to dinner. He said that she pulled up in a convertible and had a mini-skirt on. He said that she looked great that night. Michael said she's like 5'11'' tall.
Howard asked Michael if she has more money than him. Michael said that they're all good. Howard said she must have more than he does. Michael said he can't say but he has seen the contract that she signed. Michael said that they have 9 kids between them and the oldest is 19. He said he gets to see Eddie once in a while. He said that they don't seem to hate each other. They get along okay now.
Howard asked Michael if he gets to see the every day Eddie or the cultured Eddie. He said he sees the day to day Eddie. He said he doesn't see the ''Nutty Professor Eddie.''
Howard asked Michael how he holds out with a woman that hot. He said he would cum in 3 seconds. Michael laughed and didn't answer. Artie said he'd have to think of Shawn O'Hara's balls not to cum. Howard asked if he gave her an orgasm the first time he was with her. He thinks he did from the way she reacted to him.
Howard asked Michael about having sex with Nicole and if he moves fast or if he slows it down. They talked about that and said that sometimes you just have to say you're sorry for finishing too fast.
Howard asked Michael about getting stopped by the cops one time and saying that he was on his way to get a blow job. Michael said that was actually Charles Barkley. He said he was friends with Charles and they were out when they got pulled over. He said that Charles just let the cops know what was going on.
Howard asked Michael about his ex-wife accusing him of beating her and saying that he was gay. Michael said that he was everything according to her. He said that she was trying to break him and she even told him that. Michael said she wanted some stuff from him and she was going to embarrass him by putting this stuff out there if he didn't agree to it.
Michael said that there was some wild stuff going on and he asked her if she was kidding him with that stuff. Michael said that his parents said they knew she was bad for him and that she needed Jesus.
Howard asked if they could bring Nicole into the studio. Michael told him to behave when she came in. Nicole came in and said a quick hello but she wasn't going to stick around. Howard said that she's perfect. She thanked him for that but it didn't sound like she was comfortable in there.
Howard told Nicole how hot she is and asked her to come in there and sit down for a real interview. Howard asked her where she grew up. She said she grew up in Sacramento and she used to look like Olive Oyl. She said she had to get out of there. Nicole told Howard that she loves him. Howard told her he never thought she should be with Eddie. She got the hell out of there after that. Howard told Michael that he had ''finished'' in that short time she was in the studio.
Howard read that Michael had put a tracking device on his girlfriend's car. Michael said that isn't true and that was written by the same guy who wrote that he was gay. He said they make stuff up like that all the time.
Howard told Michael that this chick Nicole isn't the kind of girl who is going to go out with just anyone. Howard said he gets it if he wanted to track her. Michael said that he wasn't doing that and it's impossible to do that anyway.
Michael said that there was a time when he and Nicole weren't together. He said they broke up for a while but he didn't want to get into that. Howard asked if it was the other guy who was accusing him of putting a tracking device in the car. Michael said that Howard is saying something that he didn't say. Howard said he was smiling though. Michael said he wasn't smiling, he has that gap in his teeth and he has to open his mouth to breathe.
Michael told Howard he was a regular guy until his divorce happened. That's when everything got crazy for him. He said that once you go through divorce you know what happens in a divorce. He said he took the high road in all of that.
Michael said he wanted to do the right thing in the divorce and he thinks that his ex-wife is a great person and his kids are great too.
Michael asked Howard if he had a lot of famous chicks. Howard told him to look at him. Michael said he's rich though so he could have gotten some chicks. Howard said he had Anna Nicole Smith. He was joking about that of course.
Howard gave Michael some plugs for his new show ''Brothers'' and asked if he's going to ask Eddie Murphy to do the show. He said he'd love to have him on. They've had some people like Mike Tyson, Snoop Dogg and some other people on the show. Michael said that Lisa Lampanelli was supposed to have something on the show and he's not sure what happened with that.
Howard asked Michael about his Super Bowl ring and if that was a big deal for him. He said it was a big deal and that's why he got out when he did. He figured it was best to get out while he was on top. Michael talked about how he loves his old coach but he was very strict with the rules and stuff. He said that he eventually learned and the players like working for him now.
Michael asked Howard if he's a ball buster. Howard said he's really not. He said this is nonsense and football is much more important.
Howard said he will watch ''Brothers'' and check it out. Michael told Howard that if he likes it he may send Nicole back to do an interview.
Howard said he grew up in the same neighborhood that Eddie Murphy grew up in. He said he never got the British accent like Eddie did though. Michael laughed and said that a lot of people get that accent. He said that Madonna got that too.
Howard asked Michael if he ever thought of getting that gap in his teeth fixed. He said he did think about it but the he figured he wouldn't be himself without it. He said he'd be able to say the letter S correctly too and he didn't want that.
Howard gave Michael some more plugs for his TV show and started to wrap up with him. Artie had more questions for him. He asked if he fucked Dr. Ian Smith. Michael said that he didn't. Howard told Artie that Michael is with Nicole. They wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
New England Patriots Junior Seau Calls In. 01/28/08. 9:05am
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal and Richard made to a guy who was selling a bearing press thinking that it was a bench press. Fred also played a song as they were coming back and Howard thought he heard ''I need to see your boobs'' in the song but it was actually ''I gotta see you boo'' according to what he read.
Howard said that they have this guy Junior Seau from the New England Patriots on the phone. He said that he's a big deal but he's not even sure why that is because he's not that into football.
Junior said that they're out in Arizona now. Howard asked him about Tom Brady's foot and if that was all just a scam to make the Giants think that the was injured. Junior said that they blew that up into something that wasn't that big of a deal.
Howard asked Junior what being Samoan means because he has no idea. Junior said that Samoa is a small island that he'd love if he visited. Howard asked if they eat people there. Junior said he's pretty sure they stopped doing that about 4 decades ago.
Howard said the read that Junior was able to bench press 500 pounds but Junior said that was a long time ago. Howard said he's only able to lift about 95 pounds himself. Junior said he doesn't need to be able to bench more than that doing what he does for a living.
Howard said that Junior is 39 years old and still in the NFL so that's a pretty big feat right there. Junior said that it's a long journey to get there. He's never won a Super Bowl so Howard asked him if he's going to retire after this year. He wasn't sure about that. He didn't think it was going to be his last one.
Howard said that Junior retired one other time and his team got pissed at him when he came out of retirement. Junior didn't make that big of a deal out of it. Howard asked him if he's married. Junior said that he's not married. Howard asked him when he last got laid. He wasn't going to say but he said that he does have ''friends'' that he hangs out with. He said that he's just concentrating on the big game and he's not concentrating on that stuff. He said that he has gotten laid since the last game but he'll probably cut himself off by Thursday this week.
Howard asked Junior if he hangs out with Tom Brady and his model girlfriend, Giselle. Junior said that it's hard to hang out with him but he is friends with him. He said that they keep that relationship pretty secret so he doesn't hang with them that much. Howard said that Tom Brady has movie star looks and he's banging a number 1 supermodel. He'd like to know one thing that's wrong with Brady. Junior said that the only thing wrong with him is that he never stops working.
Howard said he wanted to hear that Brady's penis was tiny or something. Junior said he doesn't take a peek in the shower so he wouldn't know. Robin asked Howard why he's not calling Junior by his real name. Howard and Artie said that they thought it was his real name. Junior said that his real name is something that's hard to say so he went with Junior. His real name is Tiaina. As soon as he said that the guys were calling him Tina and goofing on him. Junior said that's why he went with the ''Junior'' name.
Howard asked Junior some questions about his coach and then Artie threw in a question and asked where they mount the cameras to steal all of the other team's plays. Howard told him to calm down with that, it sounds like he's really angry with him for no reason.
Howard said that Tom Brady may have jinxed the team by going out and saying that they're going to win this game. Junior said that he can't believe that he'd go out and do that. He refused to believe that Brady would do that to them.
Howard asked Junior if he had banged anyone famous. Junior said that he doesn't really go after famous people like that. Junior said that he was married at one time and he got divorced. That led to the guys asking him if that's why he had to go back to playing football. He said that his ex-wife was a great woman. Howard asked him if he ever banged any of the cheerleaders. He said he never did that and he leads a pretty boring life.
Howard read that President Bush had given Junior a good Samaritan award back in 2005. Junior said that they raise money for the youth of San Diego and he did get that award. He didn't make a big deal out of it though.
Howard asked Junior who he's going to vote for this next election. He said that's a secret, he doesn't want to be judged on that kind of stuff. Howard asked him if they should pull out of this war. Junior said that the best thing they can do is support the guys who are already over there. He didn't want the people thinking that they were against what they're doing this week before the Super Bowl is coming up.
Howard took some phone calls and let some fans ask some questions. One guy said that Junior is so tough. He said that he broke his arm recently and he thought for sure that he wasn't going to be able to come back but he did. Howard asked Junior if he looks at him like he's a big pussy because he would never be able to go on after a broken arm. Junior has some respect for Howard and said he doesn't look at him like that at all.
Another caller told Junior that he thinks that Eli Manning is going to choke in this game and they're going to lose. Junior said that Eli is good and they have their hands full with this upcoming game. Howard took a couple more calls and let some people make some comments about this upcoming game. One caller talked about Junior's club that he owns and how he's got a lot of hot chicks there. One guy said that he used to be a fan of Juniors until he moved to the Patriots. He said that him leaving the Chargers was like Babe Ruth leaving the Yankees. Junior said that he will never leave San Diego, they're always in his heart. He said that he's employed by the Patriots right now and they'll see what happens when this season is over. Howard let Junior go a short time later.
Artie Vs. Fred (the listener) In A Pizza Eating Contest. 6/4/03. 8:00am
Howard came back from break and said he saw that Spike Lee is suing the Spike Network over their name change. Howard said TNN is changing to Spike from TNN. He thought it was pretty funny that Spike Lee thinks they're referring to Spike Lee with that name. Howard said he's known about this Spike TV for a while now and not once did he think of Spike Lee. Robin said she certainly didn't think it had anything to do with Spike Lee either. Gary came in a short time later and said Spike's real name is Shelton so it's not even his real name.
Howard said the pizza eating contest is coming up soon. They had 5 pies there from Uptown Pizzeria in Hoboken. Artie requested it because his buddy makes a great pizza there. He said he uses fresh mozzarella and puts some olive oil in the crust. They got them the night before so they were cold. The guy who was going up against Artie, Fred, was referred to the show by his sister who thinks he's out of control just like Artie is as far as his eating goes. The guys were going to have a half hour to eat as much pizza as they possibly could. Fred was hoping to eat two pizzas in a half hour. Artie said he'd go for 2 full pizzas plus one slice if that's the case. Howard brought in EMT Francisco Cruz who would be there to give them the Heimlich maneuver if they started choking on the pizza. Then there was Richard Shay from the International Federation of Competitive Eating governing body that watches over food eating contests. They govern the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest as well as a few others. Rich said that he knows of a guy who can eat a full pizza in 5 minutes. This is an endurance test though so it's to see how much they can hold in their fat stomachs. Someone was wondering if they have to eat crusts or not. Howard said they do so Artie joked that he's on a diet so he's trying to cut back on carbs and wasn't sure he wanted to eat the crust. Howard had the two of them start eating around 8:08 and they had a half hour to eat as much as possible. Howard was going to give them a $500 prize for doing this. Artie asked if Howard could put on Sports Center while they were eating so he could get into it like he was home. Howard watched Artie for a short time and said he's a pizza eating machine. Artie said his two favorite inventions are pizza and air conditioning. Fred was also enjoying his pizza. Howard said Artie was up to his second piece while Fred was still working on his first slice. Richard told Howard that drinking some fluids could hurt the eating because it would be absorbed by the crust in their stomachs. He suggested a drink like Yoo Hoo or something like that to lube up their stomachs. Artie had some Hawaiian Punch to drink on the side. Artie told Howard that he has eaten a full pie before but never two. Gary was watching over them and said that they were pretty much tied as they were eating.
Howard asked Richard if Artie would be able to move his bowels during the contest. Richard said that would be against the rules and it would be frowned upon if he crapped his pants or something like that. Richard also had a lot of information on how this eating stuff works because they've seen a skinny 132 pound guy win a hot dog eating contest against fat guys. Howard said the guy knew way too much about that stuff.
Gary told Howard that Artie hadn't eaten since yesterday at 1:30 yesterday afternoon. Richard said that's actually a bad idea because your stomach can constrict. Artie said his stomach hadn't constricted at all and was still shoving the pizza in his mouth. After 7 and a half minutes they were up to three slices. A woman called in and said Artie sounded sexy with his mouth full mumbling to everyone as he ate. She told him to shut up and keep eating though.
Howard had some things to play during this segment. He had tape of Al Franken and Bill O'Reilly fighting on a show. The two of them had a verbal argument about Al's book and what he wrote about O'Reilly. Howard said it sounded like it would have been a good fight but they took away Franken's microphone for some reason.
Howard got back to the pizza eating and took a call. The guy who called in said that he could take these guys on in an eating contest. Howard said they're not going to keep doing that though. It was this guy Fred's one chance to take Artie on. The two of them were still chomping away at the pizza. Howard decided to double the winnings for the person who could eat the most. He was going to give away two $500 prizes courtesy of that ''Terminator 2 - T2 Extreme DVD.''
Dominic Barbara called in and wanted to take bets on the contest. He was taking Artie 2-1 so no one was really up for betting him.
Howard had more tapes to go through while the guys ate. He had tape of Sammy Sosa apologizing to everyone for his corked bat incident yesterday. Howard and the guys spent a couple of minutes discussing that before Howard had to take another break. Howard said they'd have the results of the pizza eating contest when they got back. They also had this woman Maria coming in who was the first woman to have ever gotten naked on his show many years ago. As they were going to break, Artie asked if they could finish eating before she came in because it was about 20 years ago when she got naked and Howard was thinking that she may have hit the wall by now.
And The Pizza Eating Champion Is... 6/4/03. 8:35am
Howard came back from break with about 2 minutes left in the pizza eating contest. Both Artie and Fred the listener were pretty much tied at that point. Richard Shay said that they might have to have a one slice eat-off to determine the winner. In the final minute the guys were shoveling the food in. Gary said Fred was in ''overdrive'' and was moving out ahead of Artie. Artie's cheeks were full and he looked like Dizzy Gilespie according to the guys. When time was up Richard Shay was the final judge. Fred the listener was the winner of the contest according to Richard. The contest was close but Artie had a little extra crust left on his plate. Artie was still chewing after the contest but Fred's mouth was empty. Artie was arguing that Fred had as much crust left as he did. Gary said they were just about exactly even with the slices of pizza but with the crust it was even closer. Robin wanted them to have a one slice eat off but Howard told them to just give it to Fred. He told Artie that it was a dead heat but they had to give someone the win. Fred won the $1000 courtesy of the ''Terminator 2 - T2 Extreme DVD.'' Howard gave Artie one of the $500 prizes as well. Gary also gave Richard Shay a watch courtesy of Steven Singer Jewelers just for coming down to judge the contest.
Artie could barely walk after the contest. Artie said he always walks like that because in the mornings his knees hurt sometimes. He also said he was happy Fred won the contest. He thanked the pizza joint that hooked them up with the pizza before Howard moved on to other stuff.
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In the clip Howard had Bill Walton walk in and they were shocked by his height. Howard asked him about his penis size and Bill said he thought this was a sports show. Howard said it's definitely not.
Bill asked Howard about being fined by the FCC and told him about how the team takes care of the players when they get fined. Howard said that's basically the way it works on the radio too.
Howard and Robin talked to Bill about Patrick Ewing and how he's been playing. Bill said he doesn't think Patrick has enough. They spent a minute talking about that.
Howard asked Bill about growing up wanting to be a basketball player. Howard told Bill about how bad he was at sports as a child. Howard said he threw a hard ball and hit his father in the nuts. He said his father yelled at him for an hour and never played again. Howard also told Bill about how bad he is at basketball. He said he played against Nils Lofgren and Nils beat him. Bill said he's played against Nils himself. He said he's a very big fan of basketball. Howard talked to Bill about his injuries and things like that as well.
After taking a break Howard came back and talked to Bill more about his injuries. Bill told Howard how many operations he's had on his feet. He said that you give your whole physical self to the game when you play. He said he was out for so long that he went back to school. He said he ended up going back to the game and then screwed up his other foot playing.
Howard asked Bill about his stuttering and what he did about that. Bill said he has a horrible speech impediment and he has to work on it every day. Howard had Stuttering John come in to get some advice from Bill about the stuttering thing. Bill said he has to work on that every day but he's been able to slow himself down and stop stuttering.
Howard asked Bill how he did this. Bill said he had to work on it just like you work on playing basketball. He said this guy Marty Glickman helped him out a lot with the stuttering. Howard had John trying to say his last name. John stuttered a little bit when he said ''Melendez.'' Bill said they're picking on John now. He said his coach gave him the best advice about learning. He said you have to learn how to learn and then you can apply that to anything.
Howard played an interview John did with Roger Daltry where he was stuttering a lot. Howard said that's how bad it can get for John. Bill said he's not laughing. Howard said he can't help John out. Bill said you have to practice not stuttering. John said when he talks to himself he doesn't stutter at all. Howard said that's how John puts himself to sleep at night. Howard said maybe he should hit him in the knee with a pipe. They spent a minute more on that and then went to break.
Football Player Chad Johnson Calls In. 01/31/06. 7:40am
Howard took a call from Chad Johnson, Wide Receiver from the Cincinnati Bengals. Howard said he doesn't watch a lot of football but he does know some stuff about the game. He told Chad that he screws his girlfriend at least 4-5 times a week so he's no fag. Howard asked Chad if there are any white wide receivers. Chad said there are but Artie said that they're not all that great.
Howard asked Chad if he's getting tons of pussy being in the NFL. Chad laughed and didn't answer. Howard read that Chad has 4 kids with 4 different women but Chad said that's not true. He said their information is wrong. Artie and Howard were asking him if he's ever had a white woman. Chad said he's never had a white woman and wouldn't know what that's like. Robin wondered why they didn't give him one when he was in college.
Chad said that he has 3 kids with one woman, not four with four different women. He said he's not ready for marriage yet and he's not even living with this woman. He said that when he's ready, he'll make that move. Howard asked him if he's dating a lot or not. Chad said ''not at all'' and told Howard that he's concentrating on the game. Howard bragged that his baby mama is white.
Chad was whispering to someone so Howard asked him who was there. Chad claimed there was no one there. Chad said that he wanted to come into the studio live sometime because he loves them. Howard asked Chad if he's in to the freaky sex stuff. Chad said he's not into that but then asked if Robin was married. Howard let him know that she's got a man but she's into some wild stuff.
Howard asked Chad what he thinks about the big game. Chad said he thinks that Pittsburgh is going to win because their defense is strong. He said he knows nothing about the point spread because he doesn't gamble. Chad said he doesn't think it will be a runaway game, it should be pretty close. Howard asked Chad what kind of chance there is of Aretha Franklin's tittie popping out at this year's game. He said he's pretty sure that won't happen.
Gary asked Chad if he's ever met any gay players. Chad said he's never come across any. Howard told Chad that they had Roy Simmons on the show recently and he said that there are probably 2 gay guys on each team in the league. Chad said he really knows of none so he can't comment on that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked him about his buddy who got busted on gun charges over the weekend. Chad didn't know anything about it. The caller said that Chris Henry was arrested for some gun charges down in Florida. Chad said that he didn't hear about that. Howard wanted the guy to read the article to him but he didn't have it. Someone brought it in for Howard a short time later so he read it himself. Chad hadn't heard about it before now so it was news to him. Howard said the article also says that Chad Johnson gets lots of pussy. Chad got a laugh out of that.
Chad got back to his predictions about the Super Bowl but Howard tried to steer him back to the Chris Henry story. Chad said that Chris did have a problem with getting caught with weed. Howard wondered if he ever saw Chris in the shower. Chad said he never saw that and doesn't know if he has a small penis. Howard had a theory that only guys who have small penises carry guns.
Artie was asking Chad for an over under of 47 points. Chad said that the game should be a low scoring game because both teams are defensive teams. So Chad was going with the Steelers on the under. Artie was talking about his coke possessions charges but Chad wanted to get back to talking about the Super Bowl. Chad asked Howard if he ever used drugs. Of course he has.
Howard took some phone calls from some fans who wanted to talk to Chad. One guy said he saw Chad with a white woman one time but Chad still insists he's only been with black women. Another caller asked Chad what kind of money he's making. Chad didn't want to talk about that on the radio. The caller told Howard that Chad once said that he likes movies like ''Chicago'' and ''Moulon Rouge'' so Howard wondered if he's really heterosexual. Chad said he is and he also likes movies like ''The Color Purple.''
Howard read about the deal that Chad has and talked about the kind of money he's making. Chad then invited everyone from the show to come down on Friday to a party that one of his team mates is throwing. He said that they would be great there at the party. Howard blew that off and took another couple of phone calls.
Ralph called in and asked Chad if he thinks their uniforms are ugly. Ralph said he thinks their uniforms are ugly but Chad said he likes their stuff. Artie asked the girls if they were done arguing about their clothes. Howard then asked Chad if he could sing some of the show tunes from the musicals he likes. Howard could hear a guy whispering to Chad so he asked him who that was. Chad said he doesn't know who that is and brushed off the question. Howard jokingly said he knows who that voice is, it's Chris Henry.
Howard took some more calls for Chad and let some people talk to him about their season. The caller was rubbing it in Chad's face that the Steelers were going to the Bowl while the Bengals aren't. Howard wrapped up with Chad a short time later. Chad told Howard that there will be a new commercial for Stunt City in the fourth quarter of the game that he wants Howard to watch. He said if he can't watch it, he should check it out at DegreeDeodorant.com. Howard figured he had an endorsement deal but Chad said he uses the product himself.
Gary came in with a story about Chad that he found. It said that Chad and his coach got into an altercation and Chad ended up putting him into a headlock. Chad said that story wasn't true though. He said nothing like that ever happened. Chad asked to come into the studio sometime so Howard told him they'll have to go to Scores sometime. He let him go but then got a note from someone who said that in the notes it says that Chad sucks his thumb a lot. It was too late to ask him about it though.
Strap-On Baseball For Breast Implants. 01/14/05. 7:15am
Howard came back from break and gave Sal the Stockbroker a plug for a comedy show he's doing down at the New York Comedy Club in Boca Raton, Florida tonight. Howard then played a porn clip and the porn clip they inserted the Mini-Me clip into.
Howard had three women there who wanted to win breast implants. The only way they could win them is to be great at Strap-On Baseball which is their new game. Howard said hello to Christine, Sylvia and Morgan who were ready to play the game. Morgan was there just a few weeks ago trying out for the High Pitch Erik game. She says that she's only an A-cup but Howard thought they were bigger than that. She wants to move up to a C-cup.
The delay hits started early. Howard was describing what the girls were going to wear and the button was hit. Howard wanted to see Morgan's breasts before letting her play. She hesitated for a short time but eventually showed them. Howard didn't think they were that small and thought that she shouldn't even be in the game. She said if she loses 10 pounds she'd have just about nothing.
Howard spoke to Sylvia about why she wants to get implants. Howard said she had a great body and face and her boobs didn't look that bad. Gary thought that she could use them though. She's only 22 years old and she does some modeling. Sylvia said that she fits into B-cup bras but she's pretty sure that she's an A-cup. Howard asked to see her breasts but she also hesitated. She whipped them out and Howard told her that there was nothing wrong with them and she doesn't need implants. He told her he'd give her $500 to just go home. She turned it down. Howard quickly mentioned that Dr. Sal Calabro would be giving the winner free implants.
Howard talked to Christine about her enjoyment of S&M for a short time. He said that it looked like she didn't need implants either so she explained how she used to have nothing on her chest and had some implants done years ago. She has sharp pains in her chest and needs to get them done correctly. She has a scar and she'd like to try and get that fixed. Dr. Calabro was on the phone and he said that he may not be able to help her out. Once the damage is done, it's done. The delay button was being hit over and over and over again during that discussion. They're not even allowed to say ''nipple'' on the air anymore because of this FCC crap. Howard said that it's ridiculous that they can't say that on the air but those are the rules these days.
Howard moved on to the new game, Strap-On Baseball and had Morgan go first. She was wearing a blue bikini according to Howard. Artie was going to pitch a large whiffle ball to each girl, five times. They had to swing the strap-on using their hips. They would get points depending on how far they hit the balls. Artie threw his first pitch, Morgan missed. Artie pitched a few more times and Morgan missed all of them. She didn't know what went wrong. Gary said that she choked under pressure. Howard didn't think that her breasts should be touched anyway.
Howard had Sylvia go up next. She did a practice swing and Artie said he didn't know if that was turning him on or freaking him out. He threw his first pitch and Sylvia got a double, getting 2 points. Artie pitched again and she missed. He threw another and she got a single and another point. She ended up with 3 points total.
Christine was up next. She took a practice swing and then Artie started pitching. She got a half point for one hit and then a 2 point double on another. Artie pitched a couple more and she missed. She had one hit left so she had to come through with a hit to win. A foul ball would get her half a point and she could have tied it up. She ended up missing the final pitch so Sylvia won the implants.
Howard said that Sylvia got her wish and won the implants. Howard gave Morgan a $500 prize courtesy of the movie ''Elektra.'' Christine was desperate for implants so she said she'd be willing to make out with her friend if they'd just give her implants. Howard told her there will be chances in the future to win implants so she should take her $500 and save it for her implants. Sylvia said she will come back and visit after she gets the implants done. Gary asked Howard to give her the speech about not going too big. She said she's not looking for giant ones, she just wants something to fill up a cup.
Christine told Howard about being in a band called Death Before Dancing. Howard noticed she had a little bit of camel toe showing in her bikini. She didn't think she did but then admitted that the bikini bottom was really tight. Howard ended up playing one of her songs even though he knew he wasn't going to like it. As soon as it started Howard told her to get out of there. He was just kidding but let the song play through a little more. It wasn't Howard's thing but he did let it play for a short time. He said he liked to watch her dancing to it but didn't seem to like the music. Howard wasn't sure if he was digging her dancing or the music. Robin was pretty sure it was the dancing. Christine told Howard to play a different song but it sounded very similar to the first one so Howard cut it off and wrapped up the segment.
Today's Wide World of Howard Stern Sports was over around 10:55am.
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Reggie Jackson Visits. 10/06/09. 8:40am
Howard said that Reggie Jackson was there. He said that Reggie is upset with the steroids that the guys are using these days. Reggie had to do it the hard way when he was playing. Reggie is going to be doing his own show there on the Mad Dog channel there.
Howard had the guys bring in Reggie and said that he looks good. Reggie said he's 63. Howard said he looks good for whatever age he is. Robin didn't stop and say hello to him earlier. Robin said she hadn't been out of her studio so how could she have said hello?
Howard asked Reggie to talk about broads. Reggie said he has a girlfriend who he has known forever. He said she's got two great kids too.
Howard asked if he had the same kind of chicks that Derek Jeter is getting these days. Reggie said he was doing okay for himself back then. Reggie said he got married at 22 and he wasn't faithful. She didn't like baseball so that didn't work out. He said that she was the only girl that he dated that he didn't have a friendship with. He said he usually does have a good relationship with the women he dates.
Howard asked what the youngest woman was that he dated. Reggie joked that he dated a 9 year old. Reggie said that he dated a 26 year old a few years ago but he was insecure about the age difference. He said that he's attracted to women that age but he can't handle what other people are thinking. Howard and Robin told him to just stay home then. Reggie said he's comfortable with women in their 30s.
Howard asked Reggie about playing ball and the huge contract he had. Reggie said that he got paid $3 million back then and it was big money at that time. He said that today the average is close to $3 million. He said that if he was playing now he would have been making $20 million.
Howard said it seemed like after Reggie got his deal the money really started to go up. Reggie said it started before he made that deal but it did really take off after that. Reggie said that there were people who came in and made big money after he was gone. Reggie said that he made more money than guys who were bigger than him. He said he wishes that he was playing today and wises he was one of them.
Howard asked Reggie when he last swung a bag. Reggie said he just did that in spring training but things move slower now. He said that he couldn't get a hit off of a major league hitter now. He said that he's just not quick enough anymore.
Howard asked Reggie if he uses Viagra. Reggie said that he was in an accident a few years back and he lost sensation down below so he had to start using it back then. He said after about a year he had a pleasant surprise in the morning. He said it took him about 3 years to get the nerves back down there. He said he had to take the pills to get that working before that. He said that he was on Viagra.
Robin asked Reggie if he could walk okay. Reggie said he could but he had problems peeing and things like that. Reggie said he doesn't need Viagra now.
Reggie asked Howard if he's younger than he is. Robin wondered why he couldn't tell. Howard said that he's 55 so he's got 8 more years of being able to have sex at least.
Howard asked Reggie if he ever had a three way. Reggie confirmed that. Artie asked him ''You, Bucky Dent and who?'' Reggie asked Artie if he gets paid to do that.
Reggie asked Howard how many people listen to him. Howard said that they figure that they might have about 12 million people listening based on the 6 million subscriptions they brought in. Reggie said that the next time he has to make a deal for something he's going to talk to Howard. He said that he wants him to help him out. Howard said he has done that with people before and he thinks that he's been helpful to some guys.
Reggie asked Howard if he would come on his show ''Mr. October Nights'' with him. Howard said he might. He said he knows nothing about baseball but he might come on the show.
Howard said he never really cared about the game that much but he dos like the Yankees. He said that he didn't have an allegiance to a team or anything. Reggie invited him to come to a game and hang out with him. Howard said he would do that. Artie said that Howard looks like him when he shows up to a baseball game. Howard said Artie would cum if he got to sit next to Reggie at a game. Artie said he would wait until he got home to cum.
Howard asked Reggie about A-Rod's girlfriend Kate Hudson and if he finds her attractive. Reggie said he doesn't look at his friend's girls like that.
Howard asked Reggie about being upset about the use of steroids. Reggie said that he is upset about that and the way that they're penalizing them. Reggie said that they have to be sure that they're accusing the right people too. He said that they accuse people who were never even tested. Reggie said that they have accused people like Barry Bonds of being guilty and they haven't proven it yet.
Reggie said that they have a note about the records that guys are setting today that they may have been affected by steroid use. They are going to keep an eye on that over the years and adjust it accordingly though. He said he's glad that they're doing that though.
Howard asked Reggie if he played baseball growing up day and night. Reggie said he played sports all the time and it was any sport, not just baseball. Reggie's father was in baseball and played in the Negro leagues for $2 a week. Howard asked if he got his father's approval by being great in the game. Reggie said that he had to come home and work in the shops and stuff if he didn't do well.
Howard asked Reggie if it breaks his heart that his father had to play in the Negro leagues and didn't get to play pro. Reggie said that he saw a lot of stuff growing up and there were times that he wasn't able to stay in a hotel or eat in a restaurant with his own team. Reggie said this was happening when he was around 20 and it was rough. He said the manager would pull the whole team out and they'd eat in the bus or move to a new hotel.
Reggie told Howard about the awful things that happened back in the 60s and how there were white people helping things along when they were trying to get their freedom. Reggie said he has respect for all of those people and he gravitates to minorities himself.
Howard asked Reggie about baseball becoming his ticket to a whole new world and asked where that drive came from. Reggie said that people wonder what makes you go. He said that the common thread of great players there is something that happened in their childhood. He said that he had his dad as a strong person in his household. He said he had to go out and win for his dad and he had to do what he had to do to be successful.
Reggie told Howard that he had a great story about his dad. He said that George Steinbrenner used to call him to talk to him about Reggie. He said that he would tell his dad to come down to talk to him about the way he was talking to his manager. Reggie said that his dad would call him and tell him that he can't come out there to talk to him in person so he wanted to talk to him on the weekend. Reggie said his dad would straighten him out on the weekend and call Steinbrenner to tell him that they had worked things out. Reggie said he was 29 years old at the time.
Reggie had problems with Billy Martin when he was his manager. Reggie said that he could never touch the guy but they did have their blow outs. He said that if he had hit him he would have gotten kicked out of the game. He said that he didn't like Billy but he didn't hate him because hating a guy takes too much effort.
Howard asked if Billy Martin was a racist. Reggie said he did hear a lot of jokes in the locker room about all races.
Reggie said that he heard a story about a couple of the guys going to Billy and asking him to let him bat clean up. He said that Billy eventually gave in.
Robin said that Reggie is very humble now but he had the reputation of being very arrogant. Reggie said that he did have that reputation back then. He said that he had the ability to shut people out back then. He stayed in his own world even though he didn't like it.
Howard said that Reggie would be banging Kate Hudson and her mother if he was playing ball today. Reggie said he wouldn't go there. He said he knows Kurt and Goldie and he would never talk about their daughter that way. He said that he admires A-Rod too so he's not going to go there.
Howard asked Reggie if he got to bang celebrities when he was playing ball. Reggie wasn't talking about that either and said that he thinks that Kate is good for A-Rod.
Howard asked Reggie if he got famous chicks. Reggie said he never did. Reggie said that he would look at magazines and pick someone off the cover and set up a lunch or something like that. He said he used to go to Studio 54 to hang out too.
Howard asked who the most famous person was that he banged. He said that he dated Sheila Johnson and she was a model and very beautiful. Howard said he's going to look her up on the internet. Reggie said that he had it made back then. He could leave his car with the keys in it parked on the street and the cops would watch it for him. He said that he could cruise around Central Park in his convertible with the cops escorting him. He said that would be his date with the women he was out with.
Howard gave Reggie some plugs for his radio show that's on the Mad Dog channel 123 on Sirius and 144 on XM. Reggie is doing shows every Tuesday while the baseball season is going. He's on from 7-9pm.
Howard got a picture of Sheila Johnson and showed it to Reggie. Reggie said that she still looks good. Artie laughed for some reason like she wasn't that good looking.
Gary said that Reggie is also promoting the book ''Sixty Feet, Six Inches: A Hall of Fame Pitcher & a Hall of Fame Hitter Talk about How the Game is Played'' that's out now.
Reggie said he was honored when this guy Bob Gibson came to him and asked him to do this book. Reggie said that Bob asked him to write the book with him and he was honored to do that for his friend Bob. Reggie asked Howard if he admires anyone enough that he would go into business with someone like that. Howard said he would love to be in business with the Three Stooges if they were still around. He said he loves Soupy Sales, Steve Martin, anyone from MAD Magazine and people like that.
Howard said that he would work with Jim Carrey too. Reggie said that's what it was like for him to work with Bob Gibson.
Gary said that Reggie is a legendary ball buster and he asked him about the World Series rings that he had. Reggie claims that he sold all of his rings but that was a lie. He still has them all. Reggie threw his ring to Howard and it was his hall of fame ring. Reggie said he has 9 championship rings and the hall of fame ring is the one that's the most rare. He said that only 60 or so guys have that ring.
Howard asked Reggie if he would put Pete Rose in the hall of fame. Reggie said that he wouldn't do that himself but if he was the head of that whole thing he'd have to look into it.
Artie got to check out Reggie's ring, as Howard held it, and Reggie was wondering why he wasn't defending him this morning. Artie said he wasn't allowed to interrupt.
Reggie asked Artie if he knows what his highest number of home runs was in one year. Artie thought about it for a while and came up with 47. Reggie asked him if he ever led the league in home runs. Artie said he never did but he was wrong with his facts.
Reggie went through a bunch of stuff with Artie and Howard told Artie he was making him look bad today. He said that he told Reggie he was a huge fan and he was screwing up. Reggie continued to ask him about his career and Artie was guessing at a lot of that stuff.
Reggie told Howard about playing in Anaheim stadium and Mickey Mantle was going to present him with an award for beating his home run record. He said that Mickey got on mic and said he wanted to give him the award and thanked him for striking out more than he did. He never said what he was giving him the award for so it sounded like he was getting it for striking out more than him.
Reggie told Howard some more Billy Martin stories and how he had tried to create confrontations with the guy. He said that he was asked not to cause a scene at times and told to pretend to get along with the guy.
Howard told Reggie that one of the reasons he never wanted to play sports was because he never wanted to show his penis in front of other guys. Reggie asked Robin what's wrong with this guy. Howard said he's serious about this. Howard asked Reggie if he's very large or small like him. Reggie said he likes showering in front of other men. He said it's unbelievable. He was just joking around.
Howard asked Reggie if he's over 6 inches. Reggie said that he was working him very nicely but he just can't help himself. Howard said it really is an issue for him. He said he doesn't like to be seen down there unless he's semi-aroused.
Howard asked Reggie if he ever had a gay experience. Reggie just anted to move along. He didn't want to stay on that subject. Howard asked Reggie if A-Rod has small nuts form the steroids. Reggie said that he has a great body and his nuts aren't small.
Artie asked if he could see Reggie's ring. Reggie said that he couldn't see it because he wasn't as big of a fan as he thought. Artie said that he was a huge Thurman Munson fan. Reggie said that he was a great player.
The guys talked about Billy Martin and how Reggie really didn't get along with him. He didn't wish ill on him but when he died he wasn't surprised. He said that he was a drinker and that's what killed him.
Reggie said that he likes to hear Artie's view on what happened that time when he was replaced by Paul Blair that one time. Artie had told the story real quick and how shocked Reggie looked that day when he was replaced. That led to Artie being able to hold the ring even though Howard didn't want to give it up.
Reggie said he heard that the night before Billy wanted to embarrass him the next day so that may have been his plan.
Reggie also talked about Thurman Munson's death and how he had been invited out to go flying with him that day. Luckily he had a meeting that he had to attend instead.
Howard gave Reggie some more plugs and thanked him for spending the hour with him. Reggie asked him if he has family. Howard told him he has a wife and 3 daughters. He doesn't have any grandchildren though. Reggie didn't know that Howard lived there in Manhattan either. Howard said Reggie was looking at him like he was an alien or something.
Howard brought up the small penis thing again and Reggie said that if he was a good enough player, he could have had his own shower. Howard said he's serious about this and he has a small penis and he could never show it to guys. Reggie said that they never made fun of the guys with little dicks, they made fun of the guys with the big ones.
Howard asked Reggie if he remembers the guys with the smallest dicks. Reggie said he doesn't remember that. Howard told Reggie he was terrific.
Artie told Reggie a story about going to game 6 of the 1977 World Series. He said that Reggie had hit 2 home runs that day already and then he hits this third home run and it was monstrous. He said he walked out of there 10 years old and he was a fan of his from then on. He said he appreciates that. Reggie thanked him for that.
Howard said Artie was about to cry. Artie said he was ready to get in the fetal position. Reggie said that he has a picture of himself hugging his father after that game. His mom couldn't make it that day so he hit those home runs for her.
Robin asked Reggie what he thinks about A-Rod this season. Reggie said he thinks that he's doing good this season and he will come through for them in the playoffs.
Artie said he must love that they call him ''Mr. May'' because he never comes through in October. Reggie said he thinks that he will come through for them this season. Howard gave Reggie some more plugs and wrapped up after that.
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In the clip Howard said he had tape of Mike Schmidt crying. He said it's so funny they could play it 100 times. Howard said he hasn't laughed so hard in his life. Howard said they should put it on a loop. Robin said they've heard it a bunch of times in the news office and they laugh every time.
Howard played the clip of Schmidt talking about leaving Dayton, Ohio with two very bad knees and the dream to become a major league baseball player. Then he starts crying and thanks god this dream came true. Howard cracked up when he heard that.
Howard wondered what he did after that. Robin said it took him several minutes to get it together. Howard said he wants to hear more of the press conference but they cut it off. Howard said he wants to hear the silence after the crying. Scott the Engineer told Howard the owner of the team came up and said something since Mike wasn't able to recover.
Howard asked if Mike is that great a player. Gary said he really is. Howard pretended to start crying himself. He had Robin cracking up. Howard told Gary not to just stand there. Gary said Boss is one of the greatest.
Howard and Robin said that this tape is great and they should hold on to it. Howard replayed the clip he had and said he really wants more of it. Howard cracked up again when he heard Mike crying.
In the clip Howard was talking about how Carl Lewis got booed while trying to sing the National Anthem. Howard said that this guy must have a big ego. He said he got up to the middle of the song and he blew it. Howard played the clip and Carl was doing okay but then his voice started cracking. Howard let the clip play as Jackie laughed. Howard was laughing too. Howard said he had to hear that again. Robin said that has to be the worst rendition she's ever heard.
Howard replayed the clip and laughed through the whole thing. Howard said he did a David Letterman show with Carl once and he didn't speak to anyone. He said he's so taken with himself. Howard said he remembers how egotistical he was after he won in the Olympics. Howard said he didn't get a lot of endorsement deals.
Howard said that guy is out of his mind. This is a college team that he's talking about and it's not some little kid that he's talking about.
Howard played another clip off the internet where Goose Gossage was going nuts on the press one time. He was yelling at them and calling them dumb motherfuckers and cocksuckers and stuff like that. He also had one of Brett Myers going off on a reporter. He quickly played that one where Brett says that the reporter is a fucking retard and tells him to get lost. He chases him out of the locker room after that.
Jessica Hahn called in and said that those two newscasters that he played earlier are known to be very conservative there in L.A. She said that they'll talk about Howard and Robin saying that they're all conservative and Christian and then Howard plays this clip and it's shocking. Howard cut her off and let her go a short time later.
The Stupid Bowl With Natalie And Erica. 01/30/04. 6:55am
Two women, Erica and Natalie, came in to play The Stupid Bowl game to win some plugs for their stuff. Howard said that both of them were very attractive. He sang to them like John Travolta did at the Oprah Winfrey birthday party. Howard went on to tell the girls that the had a $2,000 grand prize for the winner of this ''Stupid Bowl'' game they were going to play.
Howard spoke to Natalie who was 24, and Erica who was only 19 years old for a short time. Howard told the girls that there were some events that they had to compete in and whoever won would get plugs. Howard explained the game to the girls. He said they had a football field set up on the ground. He said the first event was the girls trying to push a football across the field with their boobs. Natalie was a 34-D cup and Erica was only a B. The D-cups might help Natalie push the ball across the field. Howard said that Erica was taller and might be able to move faster than Natalie. Howard said he'd put $50 on Erica. Artie took that action.
The girls got prepared and took off their tops so they could push the balls across the field. Gary said that they have to cross both goal lines. They have to go both directions on the field. One of the girls wanted to leave her bra on. Howard let her do that but thought she might be at a disadvantage. Erica ended up winning within a few seconds. Artie lost another bet.
Howard asked Natalie what went wrong there. She's the one who kept the bra on. That may have been her disadvantage. Erica said that she got rug burn on her breasts doing that. She got the plug that she was playing for. She told Howard that she was there to promote the Pay-Per-View show ''Can You Be A Porn Star.'' She told Howard about the show and how it's about women trying to become porn stars. Erica said that she's been in the industry for about a year and has done about 20 films so far. She said she enjoys doing anal scenes. She also told Howard that she started having sex at 14 years old. She's also had a lot of lesbian sex with her best friend. There was a delay hit at one point after Howard asked one of the girls what the weirdest place she had sex was. Howard had to take a break in the middle of the game.
The Stupid Bowl Round 2. 01/30/04. 7:20am
After the break Howard spent a short time talking to Robin about some other stuff before starting the second round of the game. They talked about the democratic primaries and Howard Dean for a little while. They talked about how the democrats need to define what they're all about these days. Howard also played the phony phone call that Sal the Stockbroker (HorseToothJackass.com) made to an airline booking agent using Howard Dean's wacky speech where he yells out all of the states.
Howard said that someone tried to interview James Brown after he was released from jail. His answers were unintelligible. He mumbled and said something about God looking out for both of them (him and his wife). Robin and Howard thought the tape was pretty funny.
Howard finally got back to the Stupid Bowl and said that the next round was where the girls had to pick up some half dollars in their asses and drop them in a bucket. Howard played a new The Onion Radio News bit as well. This bit was about how Celine Dion is working on a new perfume in her secret lab.
Erica and Natalie came back in for the next round of the Stupid Bowl. Erica told the guys about her rug burned knees and boobs. They also talked about what they had to do in the next round and how tough it was going to be. They had a bunch of coins on the field and they had to try and pick them up with their ass cheeks and carry them across the football field in the studio. Howard said they can't use their hands to pick up the coins. They can use their hands to manipulate their asses though.
Howard said that Natalie has a bigger booty than Erica so she might have a better chance picking up stuff with it. Howard asked the two of them about having anal and if they've ever tried to pick anything up with their asses. Neither of them had tried to carry anything like that. Howard said that both of them looked great with their bottoms off.
Erica was the first one to drop a coin in her bucket. Natalie dropped her first one but made it there a short time later. Erica came in next with her second coin. It was a close game. Natalie managed to get ahead of Erica at one point. She ended up dropping one outside of the bucket which threw her off a bit. She was completely out of breath after the 2 minute time limit. She sounded like she was going to pass out.
After the coin count, Erica came in with the win. Natalie had 8 coins, Erica had 9. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to the girls about the game and their techniques. Natalie came close but it appears that Artie betting that she'd win may have jinxed her. He loses almost every bet he places.
Howard let Erica get in another plug for the Pay-Per-View show ''Can You Be A Porn Star'' thing. She also said you can find out more at CanYouBeAPornStar.com. Howard let the girls go out to take a rest after the game. Dennis Rodman was there so Howard was going to interview him after taking another commercial break.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who wondered when this is going to air on E! and if he'll be able to ''punch one out'' to the show. Howard said he'll be able to punch one out to this show but he didn't say when it would air. He did say that their 2000th episode of the E! show is airing next week. He said they're putting together something to shoot next Thursday that will air that night.
Robin Radzinski from E! came in and said that Howard has been on E! since July of 1994, almost 10 years. Howard said he's thinking that E! is going to throw a huge party for them when that 10th anniversary rolls around. He had to take another break after that.
Round 3 Of The Stupid Bowl. 01/30/04. 8:35am
Howard had another round of The Stupid Bowl to get to after the break. Natalie hadn't won anything yet and she hadn't gotten any plugs. Howard said that Erica had been running away with the game so far. He then told the girls that they had a toilet bowl in the middle of the studio. There were a bunch of small hot dogs in there and the girls had 30 seconds to take out as many as they could with their mouths.
Natalie was first up. Howard said there's nothing sexier than a big busted woman kneeling in front of a toilet. She showed the guys her boobs and said that they are implants. Howard asked her about getting oral from a woman one time and how much she liked it. She said she's not really into chicks though. She said that she's into guys.
Howard and Artie placed another bet on who would win. Artie stuck with Natalie to win. Howard gave her 30 seconds to get as many of the hot dogs out of the toilet as possible. As she was doing it all you could hear was water bubbling and dripping as she pulled out the mini-hot dogs. Artie was laughing hysterically in the background as it was going on. Natalie said it was gross. Doug Goodstein said that she managed to pull out 8 of the hot dogs in 30 seconds. She also got another 1/8th of a dog but they didn't count that one.
Erica was up next. She said that she's a vegetarian and hasn't eaten meat in years. Howard told her she didn't have to eat it, she just had to fish them out and drop them. Howard said she's got a rockin' body and looks great. He had her start a few seconds later. She stuck her face in the toilet and started bringing up the hot dogs. Howard said it looked like she was going to puke after she did it. She said she just got a lot of water up her nose. The guys counted her hot dogs and found that she had 9. She won again.
Howard said that Natalie worked really hard but wasn't able to win. Howard said that Artie was down another $50 from the bet he had on the last round. Howard had some people from Equihome Mortgage come in and present Erica with her $2,000 check. As they were presenting the award Artie asked if they were from Equihome or the Gambinos. Howard let Erica say a few words. She asked if they could play one more round and let Natalie get a plug if they make out. Natalie agreed and the two of them made out. Howard then let Natalie get her plug in.
Natalie said that she was there to promote Mystique Magazine and their new DVD and New Model Search. She said you can get the DVD at MystiqueMagazine.com. Howard wrapped up the segment shortly after that.
Howard took some phone calls after that. A couple of guys said they can't wait to see the show on E!. A James Brown impersonator called in and tried to do a bit but he was speaking too clearly. Another caller asked Artie who he's betting on for the Super Bowl because he wants to go with the other team. Artie said he doesn't know who he's going to bet on yet. He said he's going to be on the over. The caller said that he's going to bet the under in that case.
Robin Radzinski came in and said that they're going to put the Stupid Bowl on tonight! She said that it's going to be tough to get the nudity covered up that quickly but they're going to try.
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Boxer Roy Jones Jr. Comes In. 3/18/03. 7:45am
Boxer Roy Jones Jr. came in to promote his new rap album ''Round 2'' which is available March 25th. Howard brought up how bad Roy's childhood was. He read that Roy had to carry a knife around to defend himself from his father. Howard had some other facts about him that he went through. He said that Roy Jones Sr. would spar with Roy Jr. when he was a little kid. He read that he would hit him in the legs with a lead pipe but Roy said that wasn't quite true. He said that his father would push him around until he cried. He said he'd use a pipe, a bungy cord or anything else. Howard said he'd take the guy on but when he heard that Sr. is 55 years old he changed his mind. Howard asked Roy if his father ever boxed. He said his father took on Marvin Hagler but lost the fight. Howard went on to read some other stuff about Roy and how he considered running away but never did. Howard and Roy talked about his relationship with his father for a short time. Howard guessed that he doesn't trust many people in his life. Roy said that's true and he knows the reasons for that.
Howard and Roy also talked about boxing a bit. Roy said he thinks he could beat Lennox Lewis in a fight. He said he's pretty sure he could beat just about anybody. Howard wondered why there are no great white boxers. Roy said there are some moving up in the ranks who are very good. Howard said they need fathers who beat them with pipes to be as good as him. Howard talked to Roy about his three sons and asked him if he's going to start beating them with lead pipes. Roy said he'd never touch his kids in that way. Howard talked to Roy about his house down in Florida which has an elevator in it. Howard said he must have a lot of money if he's got an elevator in the house. Howard asked Roy if he's married. He said he's not so Robin asked him how he got the kids without a wife. He said things just happen. Roy told Howard that he's 34 years old so they spent a short time on that subject. Roy also mentioned that his father was in Vietnam so Howard went into his phony 'Nam stories for a couple of minutes. He told Roy that he blew up some schools in Vietnam while he was there.
Howard brought up Roy's CD and asked him what kinds of other stuff he's got in the works. Howard mentioned the George Foreman grills and how they're the third best selling grills in the country right now. Roy said he wants to put some stuff out but wants to wait for the right money. Howard asked Roy about Mike Tyson and his tattoo. Roy said ''that's just Mike'' when that was brought up. Howard said he'd love to see Roy fight Mike. Roy said he'd love it too.
Howard asked Roy about the personal photographer he brought with him. He said he doesn't pay for it, it was part of something he was given. Howard read that people believe Roy could have beaten Mohammed Ali when he was in his prime. Roy said that it probably wouldn't even be close and he's not sure he could have beaten him.
Gary came in and asked Roy if it's true he's into cock fighting. Roy said that is true and told Howard about his cocks. Howard kept asking him about his cocks and how big they were. He also asked him if he cleans his cocks and stuff like that. They had a lot of cock references in that short time. Howard and Roy went through the cock thing for a couple of minutes. Robin even got in on the cock discussion and asked him about the cock rings. Robin asked if he puts the claws on the cocks. Roy said he doesn't think that's fair so he doesn't do that. Artie said he bet on a bunch of cocks last week... and they're known as The Knicks. Artie also talked about doing a skit on ''Mad TV'' with Roy and how he threw a phony punch at him and it was only about an inch from his face.
Howard played some of Roy's music and said Roy is looking for a record company to put the album out. He's got a meeting with Sony today about it. Howard asked Roy a bunch of other questions while he played the CD. He read that Roy got 60 percent of the last pay-per-view fight he did. Howard also heard that Roy is friends with Mystikal so he asked him about that. Howard said he liked Roy's music too. He has his own studio at his house. Roy said he's got his own full basketball court there too.
Howard wrapped things up and Roy told him that he's a big fan of his TV show. Howard asked Roy to kick Mike Tyson's ass for him. Roy said he'd do that.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who told Roy to tell Howard how his father killed his dog. Roy said his dog ended up biting his sister so his father killed it. Roy said it wasn't even his dog though so he didn't think his father should have killed it. Roy said that was the last straw with his father and left the house after that happened. Roy said he didn't talk to his father for 7 years after that. He does talk to him now though. Howard wrapped up the interview shortly after that.
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The Stern Show From Las Vegas Day 3 - Artie's Baseball Challenge. 05/14/04. 7:50am
Howard and the crew moved outside to do the Artie Baseball Challenge. They had female pitcher Ila Borders there to pitch against him. Howard spent a minute talking to Ila before getting to the pitching. Howard read some stuff about her and Artie just laughed. Her fast ball has been clocked at 78 MPH... That got another laugh out of Artie. He asked if he should hit lefty instead of right handed. Gary came over and said that she has to either strike him out or Artie has to get a hit off of her.
Ila says that when she played college ball she got spit on by the guys on her team. If she manages to strike Artie out, she wins $10,000. If Artie gets a hit off of her, he wins the money. Robin was hoping that she'd rub it in if she beats Artie. Howard had Ila head out to the field to throw a couple of practice pitches. Michael Buffer was there to do the announcing for the challenge.
Buffer introduced Ila and gave her stats and introduced her with his trademark delivery. Howard introduced the umpires they had out in the field and gave their names. Buffer then introduced Artie after giving his resume.
Howard asked the two of them how they were doing so far. Ila threw her first pitch and threw a ball. Second pitch was another ball. The third pitch was yet another ball. Artie said that she had nothing for him. Ila threw her next pitch and it was ball 4. They started over again after that. Ila threw another ball... and another ball that brushed Artie. Artie said that if she throws another one like that, he's going to rush the bitch.
Ila started all over again and threw another ball. Artie hadn't swung yet. Artie got a hit off of her on the next pitch. He won the $10,000 that was up. The umpire said that Artie really does have talent. He has a good eye and he waited for the right pitch and cracked one out and got a base hit. Ila said she hasn't played for 3 years so she was a little rusty but Artie said he hasn't played for 20 years (plus he was hung over and had at least one Jack and water in him). He still got the hit off of her. Howard said that Artie promised to put that ten grand on roulette. Artie said that if he wins, he'll stay in Vegas. Gary gave Ila $1,000 for coming out to do the pitching. Howard did a few plugs for all of the people that helped them out with the baseball challenge and then went to another commercial break.
Dennis Rodman Visits. 09/23/1999. 6:30am
Actor/basketball star Dennis Rodman came in this morning to promote his new movie ''Simon Says'' which opens in theaters tomorrow. Dennis was originally scheduled for tomorrow but his schedule was screwed up so he came in for a short visit today.
Dennis and Howard spent the 20 minute interview talking about the same old stuff. Howard found out that Dennis spends quite a bit of money in Las Vegas. He used to say that he gave a lot of his money to charity. This morning he said the charity was Las Vegas. Howard asked him about the kind of money he bets out there. They talked about that stuff and about the new movie Dennis is in.
Howard also spoke to Dennis about his recent arrest. He was arrested for being drunk in public but now the charges have been dropped because there wasn't really any evidence. Howard also asked Dennis if he's banging a lot of women. Dennis said he's not but he has gotten laid in the last 4 days.
Howard talked to Dennis about the woman he had a baby with. Dennis said that it was a white chick but didn't say who it was. Dennis kept cursing so Howard had to ask him to stop with that. Howard and Dennis talked about the time Dennis got arrested for being drunk. Dennis claimed that he wasn't drunk though.
Howard took some phone calls for Dennis. One woman called in and asked him if he had sprained his penis lately. Dennis said he wasn't having any problems with that.
Dennis said that he's dating someone now but he wouldn't give out her name. Howard got him to give her initials out though. Dennis said they were T.P. Gary figured out that it may be Carmen Electra because her real name is Tara Patrick. Dennis wouldn't admit that it was her though. He denied that the two of them are back together.
Dennis also said that he will play basketball again but he doesn't know which team he'll play for. He said he would like to play for the Los Angeles Clippers but that's not set in stone. He said he has to play somewhere that it's warm. He said he'd play for the Knicks but it gets too cold in New York. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Wilt Chamberlain Comes Ducks Into The Studio. 2/12/97. 8:45am
Ex-Basketball star Wilt Chamberlain was in to plug his new book ''Who's Running The Asylum?''. He and Howard discussed Wilt's past sex life and how large his penis is. Wilt said that he has to have special condoms made because his pecker is so large! That amazed Howard. Wilt also said that his first sexual experience was at age 5! He says that he's slept with about 20,000 women in his life and in his book he apologizes for the way women are treated. What a nut! He gave out an 800 number just in case you want to purchase his book. The number is 800-280-1776.
Magic Johnson Shows Up Late. 10/04/2000. 8:40am
After the break Howard came back and had Magic Johnson come in. He came in and apologized for being late. He said he was ready to go on time but something happened with his limo or something like that. He said it wasn't his fault.
Howard recently read that Magic is the most successful African American man in America. Magic told Howard about all of his businesses. Howard said that he's a brave guy for opening up his Magic Johnson theaters in the inner city sections. Magic said he doesn't have any problems with people shooting screens like Howard said happened at the theaters in his neighborhood when he was a kid. Magic said people respect the theaters because they entertain and bring jobs to their neighborhoods. Magic said that he's in on the theaters 50-50 with Sony and they're already turning a profit.
Magic also owns about 20 Starbucks coffee shops as well as a couple of TGI Friday's restaurants. He said he's the only partner that Starbucks has. Howard asked him why the endorsements have gone away lately. Magic said he's still got a few but that's not his main focus. He enjoys the other businesses he runs.
Howard also spoke to Magic about basketball and how he owns 5 percent of the Lakers. Magic said that's another big money maker for him. They spent a few minutes discussing how great the Lakers are. They also spent a couple of minutes talking about Dennis Rodman. Magic said he likes Dennis but he was kind of out of control and that's why he didn't last with the Lakers.
Magic told Howard that he was disappointed this morning because there were no women there for him to check out. Howard said he had a stripper in earlier but, since he was late, he missed out on it. Magic is participating in the 1st Annual 3 on 3 Wall Street Classic in New York City on October 28. You can find out more info at PrinceMarketingGroup.com. Magic said people will get the chance to play against him and two other NBA stars in the charity event.
Magic talked a little bit about his failed TV show and how it helped him out. He said after the show failed his other businesses took off so he's not upset about losing it. He said it just wasn't his thing. He gave it a try and it didn't work out for him. He and Howard were getting along really well so Howard said he should have co-hosted with Magic. Magic said he'd probably still be on the air if he'd had Howard as a co-host.
Howard heard that Magic is doing so well with is HIV medication that the virus doesn't even show up in blood tests. Magic said that's true and he's feeling just fine. He works out 5 days a week and he's in better shape now than he was when he was playing ball. Gilbert, who was still in the studio, said that he thinks he's in better shape now too.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for Magic. One woman wanted to know what medications Magic is using because someone she knows can't take certain meds. He told her that everyone reacts to these drugs in a certain way and they need to find the ones that work for them. He also told her the names of his Doctors so she could look them up. He uses Dr. Melman out in L.A. and Dr. Ho, the ''ultimate'' doctor, in New York City. He said he's the best guy in the world.
Magic brought up how Howard is separated from his wife now and said that the women must be going nuts. Gilbert broke the news and said that he's actually getting laid more than Howard now. Magic said he still goes out to strip clubs once in a while but he doesn't sleep around. He has fun with his wife Cookie now.
Howard took a few more phone calls for Magic and wrapped things up and then went to break.
Artie, Robin And Howard Play Ping Pong. 08/23/07. 6:45am
Howard said they have a ping pong game coming up later. He said they have Crackhead Bob and Miss Amputee coming in to play against each other. That led to the guys talking about the game and how Artie is going to have a table at his new house in his game room. Howard said he doesn't think that Artie will actually play. He said no one will want to play ping pong but they may want to play pool. Artie said he likes all of that stuff. He doesn't like bowling though.
Howard said he even had an outdoor ping pong table and it just sits there and rusts. He said that it's a pain in the ass to chase the ball every few seconds. Artie said the problem is when a chick wants to play and they ruin it. Robin said that she used to play so Artie challenged her to a game. Howard then said that they could do a 5 point game or something like that. Artie wanted to win his money back from yesterday.
Robin and Artie went over to the table and Howard tried to get the microphones working. They weren't working right so Scott the Engineer was yelling out which microphones to use. They were having a lot of problems getting that all worked out. Howard told them not to worry about it because he didn't want to spend all day on it.
Artie and Robin warmed up a little bit but Howard told them to just play the game. Robin didn't remember how to serve so Artie had to show her that. Artie then served and won within just a couple of minutes. Robin said she hadn't played since the 1970s.
Howard got up to go play against Artie. The microphones weren't working so Fred was trying to make things work. Howard eventually got on the microphone and said he hasn't played since he was a kid. He said he's played like 3 times in his life. Artie and Howard played a quick game and kept it pretty even. They were at 4-4 at one point and they were playing to 5. Howard ended up winning and bragging as soon as he did. Fred played some triumphant music for him when he won.
Howard said he felt some pressure during the game but he'll never play again. He said he's never going to play again. Howard got the headphones stuck in his hair and had to untangle them. He told Scott that he'd never know that feeling. Howard told Artie that he should have done better because he had just warmed up with Robin. He was afraid that Artie was going to lose it because he's super competitive. Artie said he was fine. He asked if he was going to go back on heroin after that. Artie assured Howard he was fine.
Howard said that they're going to find out how two people with just one arm can do playing against each other. Artie said he's going to go with Jen, Miss Amputee, against Crackhead Bob. Howard said his original idea was to use the dead arm of the person who was going to be playing. Like Howard would use Miss Amputee's prosthetic to play against someone else using Crackhead Bob's dead arm but it would be almost impossible to do that. They wanted Jeff the Drunk to play but he can't come because of his ass. Then they found out he's going to be making an appearance somewhere soon and that's just bullshit.
Howard said they were going to have Crackhead Bob's dead arm vs. Jeff the Drunk's dead arm but Jeff can't come so they got Jen. Howard and the guys spent a few minutes talking about the ping pong thing and other games they've played on the show. Howard got a note from the Howard TV guys saying that his basketball game against Jackie was coming up in September. Howard didn't even remember playing against Jackie.
Artie brought up the time he played basketball against the chick out in Las Vegas. They spent a minute on that and then went to commercial break.
Jen Miss Amputee Vs. Crackhead Bob Ping Pong Game. 08/23/07. 7:40am
After the break we heard a bunch of Baba Booey mentions from some live shows. Howard came back and said that he had a new one from a London talk show. The host took a call from a guy who said nothing but Baba Booey over and over again. The caller kept saying it over and over again but the host was ready to leave him on the air for a half hour. Howard said that show sounds really annoying. He said he's been there and the radio really blows.
Howard said that he was listening to this broad on MSNBC where they were talking about this Obama Girl and mentioned that she was actually on The Howard Stern Show. They showed a clip from his show at the time and the woman made a smug remark about it. Howard said that if she doesn't like it, they shouldn't use a clip from his show illegally. He said he didn't give them permission to use it so they shouldn't do that.
Robin said that she had a woman ask her if she works for Howard Stern and when she said she did, the woman gave her an ''Ugh, how can you stand it?'' Robin said she asked the woman if she thinks she's tortured every day or something.
Howard moved on to the ping pong game between Crackhead Bob and Jen Miss Amputee. Howard said the guys were telling him that she looks really good too. She got hair extensions and breast implants. Howard noticed that Bob was breathing into the microphone really heavy so he wanted to fix that. They shut off the microphone but it kept going. Then Howard suggested that they just use wireless microphones instead of the headphones. Gary said it's going to be hard to hold microphones on them while they're playing. Bob's microphone stopped acting up but then Jen's sounded awful. Jen apologized for making the noise because it turns out it was her microphone making all of that breathing noise.
Howard asked Jen about her new boobs but then Gary came in with a wind screen for Jen's microphone. It was a little muffled after that. Howard said that Scott didn't check the microphones before the show. Scott said they did check them and they were fine. Howard told Gary to move it away from her a little bit and it would be better. Howard said that he's not even an engineer and he knows what to do. He told Scott that he's a Type C personality, not even a Type B. Howard said that Scott has only been doing that for 25 years.
Howard told Jen that she looks good and asked her about the new implants. Jen said that she has D-cups now but didn't want to believe they were that big. Jen said that she never tried to turn that Miss Amputee into anything big. She's a speech pathologist. Howard said he read that she dated Craig Gass for a while. He said that's kind of funny that she has to date Craig because of the missing arm. If she had the other arm, she wouldn't have to go so low (ouch!). Howard asked Artie if he would go out with her. Of course he would.
Howard said that Jen is too hot to go out with Craig. Howard read that Craig would shush her if the show was on and he was kind of annoying according to Jen. She said that he wouldn't let anyone know that they were dating because he was afraid it was going to effect his comedy and relationship with the show. Jen said that he's shush her when he'd be listening to Raw Dog Comedy and things like that.
Howard said that Craig did her and everything but it's because she's so hot. Howard said that he could introduce her to Paul McCartney since he likes amputees. Crackhead Bob wanted to meet him too. Howard said he'd forgotten about how she lost her arm. Jen said that she lost it in a car accident when she was 4 years old.
Howard moved on to Crackhead Bob and played a prank call he did with Sal and Richard when they did a Jack and Rod show. They had him playing the part of Kirk Douglas. They had a couple of authors on the phone and they jerked them around having Bob telling them about his penis and asking the woman to suck his ''denis'' and ''dock.''
Howard said that Bob was on fire that day. Bob's microphone was dead for a second so Howard had to get that working again. He then told Bob what they were going to do today. They taped a ping pong paddle to his dead arm and one to Miss Amputee's prosthetic. They were going to play ping pong and whoever won would get $2,500 courtesy of the movie ''Balls of Fury.'' Howard asked Robin how many points they should play to. Robin said it should be 5 because they'll never get any higher.
Howard said that the guys were telling him that Bob was making some weird noises when he was laughing. He played some audio of that and it sounded like a pig snorting. He spent a minute talking to Bob about what's going on in his life. Bob said that he's doing okay but things are tough. He's still taking things one day at a time and going to meetings. He talks at the meetings and he's a good support buddy. Howard wondered how that would work out if he was his support buddy. He created a conversation with Bob and Bob tried to talk him through his tough times. Howard said he felt better after that.
Artie said that he was lighting up his crack pipe as he spoke. He then told the guys that he would never think of calling Bob to get support. If he gets some heroin one night, he's going to think about doing that and not calling someone like that. He said he knows that he will eventually do heroin again in his life. He said it's a cycle in his life that he will go through again some day.
Artie said he went out drinking last night. He said he did an interview with the Best Damn Sports Show last night and when he was leaving the studio, he ran into a friend. He wanted him to go out to drink but he passed on it. Then he went home and thought about it and ended up going out. He said there were chicks there and one chick said she could out drink him so he had to show her that she couldn't. He ended up drinking a lot and didn't get home until like 2:30 in the morning.
Artie then told the guys that he really can't guarantee that he's not going to do heroin again. He said he knows that it's just not something he can promise. He said he knows that day will come again when he can take the heroin. He doesn't ''take it one day at a time'' like Crackhead Bob does. Robin said he wants to have a kid and a relationship with a woman but he can't be doing that stuff if he wants to do all of that.
Artie said that this girl dating Craig Gass makes him want to do heroin. He said he likes Craig but it makes him wonder what's going on in this world. Jen said that she was with Craig and Gary the Retard one night and they went to visit Artie at a comedy show. Artie said he didn't know that they were dating at the time. Jen said it was on the down low at the time so no one knew. She said that Artie also looked at her arm but pretended he wasn't when he saw her.
Howard spent a few minutes asking Jen about her prosthetic arm and stuff like that. Artie said that he doesn't think that he could be with Jen. That led to Crackhead Bob trying to help Artie out and saying that now he loves himself even though other people might now. Bob said he loves himself and Artie should love himself as well. He said that he loves his soul and himself. He told Artie he has to go to the meetings and learn to love himself before anyone else.
Artie said that both Bob and Beetlejuice have now called him a mess so that's really working on him. He asked Howard to move on to the game. Howard explained what was going on again and said that they have paddles taped to their dead arms and they were going to play for the $2,500 grand prize. Jen was going to serve first because she's a girl.
Bob and Jen started the game and Jen went down one point within a few seconds. She then served again and Bob missed so the score was tied 1-1. Howard had Bob serve but it wasn't going to be easy. Bob managed to do it but he missed so Jen was up 2-1. Bob tried again and tied up the score. Jen served next and got herself another point. It was 3-2. Jen served again and Bob missed again so she was up 4-2. Bob was up to serve again and blew it when he missed again. Jen won the $2,500. Howard said he was going to give Bob $2,500 as well since he'd look like a dick if he let him walk away without any money after that whole thing.
Irish John called in and said that he saw Jen's boobs at a comedy show one time and she couldn't stop showing them. He wondered why she didn't show them today. She said that she had a lot to drink that day and there were pictures taken. John said they're up on HowardShrine.com.
Crackhead Bob said that Artie has his number but never calls him. Artie said ''Yeah, get the hint?'' when he brought that up. Howard told Bob that he's proud of his sobriety and he thinks that Artie should go with him. Howard wrapped things up and played one of Crackhead Bob's best prank calls as they were going to break. He was about to play his call to a Chinese restaurant but Gary asked if Jen wanted to ride the Sybian. Jen said she draws the line at the RoboSpanker so she won't be riding the Sybian.
Crackhead Bob said that his birthday is today so the guys tried to guess how old he is. The guys said that he looked between 45 and 65. Bob said that he's ''one, two, three, four...'' and counted up to eight after showing four fingers, so he's 48. Howard played that prank call of Bob's. He asked Bob if that's how it goes when he's really trying to order food. Bob said it is tough. He said his favorite food is ''Ticky tow mein'' but then said it was actually just chicken. They went to break a short time later.
Jim Brown Visits. 09/07/1994. 3:55pm
After the break Howard came back and said that Gary told him about the guy who is on trial in Cleveland for the wire cutting incident. He said he's going to keep a low profile and not talk about that.
Howard said he was elected the nationally syndicated personality of the year for Billboard. Howard said those award shows are the worst because they have people from tiny markets around the country showing up. Howard said he's not surprised he won since there isn't anyone out there that can compete against him.
Howard said he can't go to accept this award since he's in the middle of this film writing thing. He said they should send Elephant Boy to accept on his behalf.
Howard said Jim Brown is a former football player and he's been on TV a lot lately. Howard had Jim come in and talk about the OJ case and things like that. Howard pointed out he's wearing this koofi hat and it's a scary thing to see out on the street. He said that's the hat that scares white guys. Howard said it scares him because it's so African. Howard asked if his head ever gets cold. Jim said that hat keeps his bald spot warm. Howard said the hat looks attractive.
Howard talked about some of the records Jim had in football and how angry he will get when someone beats his records. Howard said he's seem him getting angry on TV. Jim said there are some strange records and they keep track of them in a weird way. He said he played 12 games and they play 16 now so it's not fair to compare them.
Howard said he didn't want to talk to Jim without a hat like his on. He told Gary to go get him one. Jim gave him his and let him try that on. He tried it on but thought he looked like Jughead.
Howard asked Jim about the OJ thing and said he heard he said that OJ was a dick years ago. Jim said he liked OJ because he would tell the truth behind the scenes. He said that he would tell him what he was going to do with his money and things like that. He said he thinks that the black community reaches out for any black man that's in trouble so that's what's going on with him right now. He said he hopes that he would confess if he did do the murders. He said that would be the right thing to do.
Howard said they found his glove there and all of that. Jim said he thinks that it's something they have no idea about. Robin asked about the note he wrote. Jim said he thinks it was very open and it did the opposite of what it was supposed to do and it worked in a very negative way.
Howard said he didn't have too much time with Jim since he was running late. He said that Roseanne was there and he had to get to her. Howard asked Jim about his career and pointed out some of his accomplishments.
Howard asked Jim how many women he's nailed. Jim didn't have any numbers. Howard asked if he's had white women. Jim said he has had a few. Howard said Robin was trying to slip Jim her number. Robin told him to stop it.
Howard asked if he's had any famous women. Jim said he has. He didn't say who they were. Howard asked if he had Yoko or Hillary Clinton. Jim said he didn't have them. He said he had more unpopular women. Howard asked about a few other women and Jim didn't have them either. Howard asked if he had OJ's wife before she died. Jim said he didn't. Jim said he would tell them if he had a woman if he came up with a name. Howard didn't have any others. Howard had to wrap up with Jim a short time later since he had Roseanne there.
Porn Stars Compete In The Stupid Bowl. 02/04/05. 8:25am
Howard came back from break and said that if there's anyone out there who thinks they know porn trivia, they should call 800-44-STERN because they can win $5,000. He quickly went through some articles and mail he had laying around. He read an article about kids who think that the government should be censoring more stuff than they are now. There was an article about Jay Leno and how awkward he seemed doing the tribute he did for Johnny Carson.
Howard moved on to The Stupid Bowl after that. He had 4 hot porno stars in to compete for $5,000. Howard introduced each of them one by one. He said he was amazed that they were able to get the $5,000. Gary told him that they weren't able to find a sponsor for the contest so Tom said that the station would pay the money instead. Howard was blown away by that.
Jasmine was the first porn star that Howard introduced. He played a clip from her movie ''Throat Yogurt 2'' earlier in the morning so he replayed that for everyone. Jasmine laughed as she heard the audio of herself getting gagged. Howard read that she was only in porn for 7 months and she's made over 100 films already. She said she works just about every day. She says that she won't be with more than 6 guys during a movie. As Howard was asking her about that she cursed so Howard decided to move on. Howard said hello to Friday who has been in the business for 3 years, 4 months and 7 days. She talked to Howard about getting into the business and then Howard played an audio clip from one of her movies. Another delay hit came after that.
Howard talked to the two girls that were dressed in clown makeup. He'd spoken to them earlier in the morning as well. Hollie Stevens was up first. Howard played one of her audio clips and asked her about it. She talked about how she'd gotten one of her nipples pierced and it got infected after she danced on a stripper pole. She ended up going to the hospital 3 weeks later after the pain wouldn't go away. She was high on mushrooms at the time. She also claims that she's tried just about every drug other than crack and heroin. Howard talked to Jenna Brooks next but the delay hits were coming left and right so most of her interview wasn't heard. Howard played one of her porn clips and asked her about getting into porn. She quickly told Howard about pleasuring herself on a flight over to London one time. She said it was a long flight and she didn't have anyone sitting next to her so she did it. There were a couple more delay hits after that so the conversation was chopped up pretty good.
Howard moved on to the game after that. There were going to be three events. In the first one the girls had to sit naked on balloons and try to pop them. Howard had Jasmine strip down so she could pop some balloons. The girl with the lowest popped balloon count would be eliminated from the competition. Jasmine went ahead and started popping balloons. She had 11 popped by the end of her time. Friday was up next... another delay hit right before her popping began. Friday popped 11. She had a problem toward the end. Friday said she was in pain after that. Hollie was the next one up to pop some balloons. She popped 11 as well. Howard had Jenna go and hoped that there wouldn't be a tie because he didn't want to go through that again. Jenna popped 12 and was also in pain after she was done. Howard didn't know what to do after that because they had a 3 way tie between the other girls. He decided to just eliminate 2 girls in the next round and took a commercial break before getting to Dildo Golf.
The Stupid Bowl Continues. 02/04/05. 8:55am
After taking a commercial break, Howard got back to the Stupid Bowl games. Howard said he didn't expect a tie in the last round so they weren't expecting to have four girls left in the games. He quickly asked the girls how they were feeling since they were wearing strap-on dildos on their foreheads for the next game. The dildos were about 15 inches long. They only had 3 at the time so one of the girls had to sit out and wait for her turn to get one of the strap-ons. Jenna went first, Friday was next. They hit a golf ball trying to see who could get it closest to the hole. Friday hit it within 54 inches. Hollie was up next, she missed it a couple of times but when she did hit it, she only missed the hole by 13.5 inches. Jenna was up next and she was having some problems getting the dildo to fit correctly. When she hit the ball she hit it on the back swing. They let her try again and she came within 35 inches of the hole.
Howard had to eliminate Jasmine and Friday. He gave them a couple of plugs and then moved on to the next round. Hollie and Jenna had to compete in a singing competition while taking a 4 inch sausage down their throats. Hollie went first and had to sing ''Amazing Grace'' as she was gagging on this sausage that was shoved 4 inches down her throat. Howard said she really only took about 3 inches. Gary said she was drooling as she did it as well. Jenna was going to perform the same song. She took the sausage but her clown nose was blocking her from doing it correctly. She had to take the nose off before she could sing. She had about as much luck singing as Hollie did. Howard thought she took more sausage and didn't drool so she was the clear cut winner.
Doug asked Howard if the clowns could kiss. Howard had them do that and then had the two losers come up and say goodbye. Friday was going to sing ''America The Beautiful'' if she'd made it to that round. Howard asked her if she wanted to sing. She was up for it so Doug had to get another sausage. Howard took a couple of phone calls and saw that Friday was taking a whole sausage down her throat. She took 7 1/4 inches. The guys marked off the four inches for her and had her try to sing. She gagged a couple of times and wasn't able to do it. Jasmine tried to do it as well but she was gagging too much so she gave up on ''I've Been Working on the Rail Road.''
A phone caller told Howard that he was genius and this game was awesome. Howard gave the girls some plugs for the web sites they're associated with.
Today's The Wide World of Howard Stern Sports was over around 10:50am.
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