|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
|Please help support MarksFriggin.com by using these sites:|
(Sirius, XM merch and more)
Playboy Cyber Club
(Just about everything)
Howard started the show giving a big ''Hey ohhh'' that went on for a good 20 seconds or so. Fred got in on it and made his last even longer than Howard's. Howard said he went about 20 and Fred is still going. Howard said Fred went about 28. Howard said in 1948 Ed McMahon had one that went 48 minutes.
Howard said he went to get a physical last week. He said there was an article about how people will get one and then die of a heart attack the next day. They say that the chest x-rays and EKG really don't tell you much. Howard said you can die out of the blue like that. Howard said he asked his doctor what he thought. He said the doctor told him it's fine if you want to save some money and not go every year. He said that they can detect some stuff in the blood work and things like that. Howard said why not get it. Robin said screenings are fine once a year.
Howard said he hates the finger in his ass. He said they check your prostate and it's not fun. Howard said he has one that's a bit enlarged. He said it's difficult to pee sometimes. Howard said he gets a colonoscopy every 5 years so they have to do the finger every year. Howard said he doesn't even know what he's feeling for. Howard said he has known his doctor for a long time. He said his name is Bob and he lays on his side while he's doing it and he's saying ''Oh Bob!'' over and over. Howard said he goes in slowly at first and then goes in knuckle deep and gives it a twist. Howard said that's when he goes ''Oh, oh, oh!'' Fred played some romantic music and some sound effects while Howard told that story. Howard said the doctor has him read from Fifty Shades of Gray while he's doing it.
Howard said he checked out pretty good for this check up. He said that he had gel dripping out of his ass though. Howard said the guy has to come over and wipe his ass after doing the finger thing. Howard said he doesn't want to be the guy who becomes incontinent and have someone wipe his ass for him like Jim Breuer's dad. Howard said he felt the gel coming out of his ass while he was getting the post game wrap up. Howard said he goes into the bathroom and wipes himself down with baby wipes. He doesn't want to be driving around with gel in his ass. He said he felt so emasculated afterward. Howard said Beth was waiting in the car for him and that was kind of a surprise. Howard said he felt like he had been raped.
Robin said she remembers Tim going to get a colonic and she saw him the next day. She said he said to her that he went home and his wife said hello to him and he said ''I can't talk to you now.'' She said he sat in a corner like a woman who was raped.
Robin said that she'd imagine that it would do a lot for some of those people. Howard said Horse does some crazy stuff. He said it was funnier on AGT. He said he has seen him do some really insane stuff. He said that he has perfectly normal nuts but the doctors have told him to stop or he's going to have one explode. Robin said he was always bleeding on AGT when he'd do a stunt. Howard said it was pretty crazy.
Howard said he watched the debates last week and it's not clear when they're winning or losing. Howard said it's after when the give the spin. Howard said that Jim Lehrer was refreshing to watch sit back and let the guys just go back and forth. Howard said that's the way he thinks they should have a debate. Howard said he liked the way it was going. Howard said he doesn't share the opinion that everyone else does.
Howard said he had a Ronnie the Limo Driver debate audio clip. They had President Obama and Governor Ronnie going at it. They had clips of Ronnie asking Obama what he does all day and goofing on him.
Howard said he's pretty much sticking with Obama. He said that he's already decided. He said the debates are for those people who aren't decided. Howard played a parody of a Romney commercial where they had a guy doing an impression of Romney and saying some goofy things.
Howard said people asked why he didn't fight with the other judges. Howard said there is a secret tape of his fight with Sharon Osbourne. Howard played another bit they created using clips of Howard and Sharon to create a phony argument.
Howard said he can't stand when someone else gets the headlines. Howard said they really didn't have any arguments over there. Howard said that argument was going on in Bubba's bedroom. Howard said they really have to talk to him about that stuff. Howard said that camera should be retired. He said his iPhone takes better pictures.
Howard said they adopted another cat over the weekend. They now have 4 cats. Howard said Beth said she never thought she'd be a crazy cat lady. Howard said she works at the North Shore Animal League and she sees these animals there. She said this one cat was locked up in a cage for 7 months. Howard said they don't kill any of them and the cat has to sit in a cage all day long. Howard said the cat is the sweetest cat in the world. Howard said Beth told him the story about this cat and if that was the cat she wanted then she can get it. He said he's not sure when they're going to stop. Robin said Alison Steele had 21 cats. Howard said that is not going to happen to him. He said he has to put his foot down at some point.
Howard said Beth has a show coming out soon and she had to go to Chicago for 2 days. Howard said they adopted this cat on Monday so he wouldn't get annoyed. Howard said that the dog that his mother found in her neighborhood is being adopted. Howard said that the guy, Bobby Heller, has some huskies and the dog will fit right in.
Howard said Beth was talking to him about this cat and she didn't want to bring it home until she was back from this Chicago thing. Howard said he told her to just bring it home. Howard said they had to come up with a name for this male cat and he looked it over and named it. Howard said they named it Charlie. Howard said it was up to him to take care of this cat. Howard said they have to go through this whole process to get it settled in the house. Robin saw a picture of the cat and said it was cute.
Howard said this cat is a little overweight because he's been in a confined space. Howard said he was shying away from him at first. Howard said he turned on his charm and the cat came out and played with him. He said the cat rolled on his back and wanted his belly rubbed. Howard said the cat is really cute. Howard said the cat has been locked up for the past 7 months and he's coming to live now. Howard said the cat is following him around now. He said it's great to adopt an adult cat. He said they come into your home and you feel like you've freed the slaves. Howard said it's a really good feeling. He said that they're really no bother. He said you have to clean their litter box but that's about it. Robin said you can't tell she has cats because she keeps the litter box clean. Howard said he takes the stuff right out of the box. He said it's very easy.
Howard said other than that and food and water it's very simple. Howard said he felt like he did something even though Beth was the one who did all of the work. Howard said the cat was afraid to leave the one room but now the cat is all over the house. He said the other cats don't even give a shit. Howard said the cat is already slimming down from running around. Howard said the cat was dropped off in a box at the North Shore. Howard said he was talking to the cat asking why someone would do that to him. He said he feels good that the cat is integrated. He said Beth wanted to do all of that but he took care of it.
Howard sang to Robin's theme music about how he liberated a cat and connected to the world. Howard said he's wonderful. Robin said he really is.
Howard asked if he was doing calculus. Robin said that doesn't include hands. Howard said he must have been doing algebra. Howard said he's lost now.
Howard said Jason has been putting up a lot of content up on HowardStern.com. He said that they have a lot of block party content and things like that. Howard said they have some Wolfie at NASCAR stuff and Gary's term paper on how he books guests for the show. Howard said they have pictures of Benjy and Elisa up there including the nip-slip picture. Howard said they have Ronnie's poem from Richie Wilson's wedding up there too. He said you should check that out to see Ronnie's hand writing. Howard said it looks like a kidnapper's handwriting.
Howard said he remembers the first time Ronnie drove him to Hartford and he was doing a TV show up there. Howard said the show was a stand-up comedy gig. Howard said NBC gave him a driver and a car and he liked Ronnie. He said Ronnie sent him a note about how much he enjoyed driving him around and he wrote it down in that crazy handwriting. Ronnie said he thinks Fred was there too. He said he spent a lot of time talking to Fred as well. He said he gave Fred his business card so he could contact him. Ronnie said the note was about how he was willing to drive him. Howard said the letter was written in that same handwriting he wrote his poem in. Howard said he thought someone was kidnapping his kids or something. Ronnie told him to stop it.
Howard said he isn't saying that he is a kidnapper but his handwriting is bad. Howard said he told his agent that he seemed like a nice guy but he should look at his handwriting. Howard said even his agent said he's not sure if he should hire the guy. Howard said they had a handwriting guy look at it and this guy had some things to say about Ronnie based on his handwriting.
Ronnie said he wrote it big for a reason. He said he has very bad script handwriting. He said he and his mother are both bad at it. Howard said it must be inherited. Howard said he looked at it and he said there was no way he could hire this guy. Howard said he thought he was deranged or something.
Howard read a note from a handwriting analyst. Howard said that this guy says that he has a felon's claw in the letter Y. Howard said the guy says that he'll eventually stab him in the back by doing something detestable. The guy wrote that he knew a guy who had that same thing in his handwriting and he emptied a gun into some woman. Howard said this guy told him to be careful. Ronnie said he's been there 26 years. He said he should have shot him a long time ago.
Howard said his agent had a talk with Ronnie on the phone and they picked him because he had a good price. Ronnie said Don called him into his office to do that. Howard said he went with the reasonably priced guy.
Howard thanked Ronnie for coming in and let him go. Gary came in and said that Will and Jason are doing a new show called the Back Office Show. Gary said that the overlooked story of the week is that Ronnie's girlfriend wants to get married and she wants to be married by next year. Gary said that Ronnie still doesn't want to get married.
Ronnie said his girlfriend, Stephanie, was drunk when she said that. He said she's great and they're having a great time together. He said it's awesome. He said she caught the bouquet at Richie and Rachel's wedding. He said Jon Leiberman went over to her and asked her about this big party she's having in May of next year. Ronnie said he's helping her and she's not looking to get married. He said that they have talked about this many times. Ronnie said she really doesn't want to get married. Ronnie said he doesn't want to get married again. He said he will never be ready for that again.
Howard said he should protect her financially by making her his wife. Ronnie said he could do that by putting her into the will. Howard and Robin told him that she won't be able to visit him in the hospital if something happens to him. He'd have to marry her to make that possible. She's not family.
Howard said he heard that Ronnie is writing a new poem. Ronnie said he is. He said he was working on it over the weekend. He said he's writing it about what goes on out in the hallway there. Howard asked if he would write a book of his poetry. Ronnie said he was asked to write one for Fred too. Ronnie said it's kind of about the show. Howard said that's good and he likes when he writes about the show.
Howard thanked Ronnie for the update and let him go again. They played him out with an opera song. The singer mentioned the Pace Car Ronnie has. Robin said she heard he's going to bring it to one of the block party shows. Robin said he never drives the thing. Howard said he really has to take a break. He was about to go but he played a Wanda Sykes (Rachel Butera) commercial parody for Obama. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he was listening to Deep Tracks on Sirius and heard a song by Julian Coryell doing ''Lithium.'' Howard asked Fred to find that but Fred's computer locked up. Howard said he has been having problems with his computers at home and they're Mac computers. Robin said they had a video on their computers that had Steve Jobs in it. Howard said that video freaked him out. Howard said he booted up and that video would start up. Howard said he thought he had someone breaking into his computer. Robin said she wanted to get out of that video as quickly as possible. Howard said he was doing that too. He said they should have given the option to watch it instead of making it play automatically. Howard said he hated it too.
Howard asked Fred if he was able to find that song. Fred said he wasn't. He said they have it in another system but they don't have access to it. Howard said they should give Fred access to the system. Fred said they're saying they should give him 5 minutes and he'll have it. Howard said he was in the mood to talk about it now. Fred said he knows what he means. Howard said he doesn't know how he feels.
Howard said nuts are a very important thing to a guy. He said that they're there to make babies and they're very important. Howard said his are very sensitive. He said there are guys who get them squeezed and he doesn't understand that. Howard said he was a big fan of this guy Horse on America's Got Talent. Howard said according to the voting and the ratings people were tuning out when he'd be on. Howard said his mother hated Horse. He said she would ask why anyone would do that. Howard said he thought it was hysterical.
Howard had Horse in the studio so he asked if his wife was into it. Horse said she saw him doing it when they started dating and she still went out with him. He said she must be into it. Howard asked how old he is. Horse said he's 25 and almost 26. Howard said he thought he was older than that. Howard asked if he has anything to fall back on if this doesn't work out. Horse asked him to imagine his resume now. Horse said he can't imagine doing anything other than this. Howard said his stunts are unbelievable.
Howard asked Horse if he's making good money doing this. Horse said his wife has a good job but he can make some money too. Robin asked how much he's actually worked. Horse said he does it like once or twice a month.
Howard asked Horse about the entourage he has with him and if he is like their leader. Horse said he films with a bunch of other guys kind of like the Jackass guys. Howard said he watched every video he sent over and Horse did one the other day. He said he's in tremendous pain right now. Howard said he did one the other day where he jumped off the roof of a house. He said he was about 30 feet in the air and he did a split on the boards from the room and he fell down. Howard said he fell in such a way that he cracked all of his ribs. Horse said they built a structure out in the front and they built it too short. He said he landed on this cement bucket from 30 feet in the air. He said he broke his ribs doing that. He said he can breathe and his doctor said they can't really do anything for him. He said it's his own fault for doing it so he's not going to waste anyone's time. He said as long as he can breathe he's not going to bother doing anything.
Horse said his doctor saw the video and he would have sent him right to the hospital if he had seen it. Howard asked Horse why he yells out ''they call me Nasty.'' Horse said that's his nickname. He said he was kicked in the face by a horse once and he faces his fears by getting kicked in the nuts.
Howard asked if this rib pain is the worst pain he's ever been in. Horse said this is a 10 on a scale of 10. He said the pain in his nuts is a 10 but it goes away pretty quickly.
Howard asked Horse about the doctors who have told him that he's going to have a ball burst some day if he keeps this up. Horse said they said they can't explain why there's nothing wrong. He said they even cut the segment short because they weren't able to make an example out of him.
Howard said he can't stand the pain when someone even touches his balls. Horse said he has no idea why he can do it. He said he used to get kicked in the nuts when he was very young so he knew it was different from an early age. He said he used to take kicks in Junior High to get everyone revved up.
Howard said the first time he saw Horse out there he was in his underwear. He said the second time he came on in his clothes. Howard said he thought it was much better in his underwear. Horse said they were going to blur it out if they had to in his underwear. He said the main reason he did it in Vegas he had something tied around his balls and he thought that it would be too exposing. Howard said he thought it was the producer's idea to do that. Horse said they did talk about it.
Howard asked Horse about hanging out back stage and if it was fun. Horse said there was a lot of misdirection and a lot of upset stomachs back there. He said that they weren't sure when they'd be going on and things like that. He said they had no idea what was really going on. Howard said they would mess with people during those shows.
Howard asked Horse if he thought he was going to be one of those joke acts. Horse said he really did think he was one of those acts. Howard said he thought he was very funny. He said it was a show and it was really good. Howard said he must be his favorite judge. Horse said he obviously is. Howard asked if they talk about him being America's Judge with the contestants. Horse said they really did. Howard said he tried to be helpful to the contestants. He said he would empower Horse to make him think that he could make it. Horse said he did think he could make it.
Howard said that the producers told him that the ratings dipped when Horse was on. Howard said he still wanted him back. Horse said he heard that some people would get up and walk out while he was performing. Howard said he thinks that's great. He said you're looking for something different. Howard asked if he is worried that little kids will try what he odes. Horse said he wouldn't want anyone else doing what he does. He said he has a pain tolerance that some others don't. He said he can take a hit to the nuts like no one else.
Howard said Horse is in pain whenever he takes a breath. Howard asked what his game plan is. Horse said he hopes he can get another TV show. He said he'd like to do something unique and not have to sit in an office. Howard asked if he has the stunt where he broke his ribs up. Horse said you can find it on NastyTheHorse on YouTube.
Howard asked if the Jackass guys inspired him to do what he odes. Horse said they really didn't. He said that he did think that it was cool that they were doing what he does and making it big.
Howard said the guys put up a link to the video where he broke his ribs. He said he also shit his pants. Horse said he hit with such force that it just came out.
Howard asked Horse about the other contestants on AGT and who annoyed him. Horse said that Joe Castillo kind of annoyed him. He said that when he got eliminated Joe kept going. Horse said he was waiting for him to say something to him but the guy never came over to him. He said he thinks that he's kind of full of himself and he didn't say anything to him or his family or anyone. Howard said they really don't know what goes on back stage but he does wonder what's going on. Howard said there must be a whole other reality show going on there. Horse said most people are really nice and supportive. He said they've all kind of made it but they want some kind of push to get to the next level. Howard said that Tom Cotter has done pretty well but he's looking to get to the next level so he knows what he means.
Howard said he really wanted Horse to win. He said it would have been great if he had gone on to win. Howard said he knows they do a Vegas show and he asked if he was invited. Horse said he wasn't even invited. Howard said maybe it's a family show and they're not looking for that. Horse said he thinks that he should have his own show. Howard said he was very entertained. Horse said he needs someone to set up a tour for him. He said he needs a manager or an agent. Horse said he was a gymnast for 10 years so he does all kinds of stunt stuff.
Howard asked if he ever thinks about jumping off a roof and dying. Horse said he has actually gotten crazier since he had kids. He said he can step away from some stunts though. He said if it's not going to be worth it then he'll walk away.
Howard said he heard Horse pulled a helicopter with his balls. Horse said he ties a handkerchief to his balls and then a rope to that. He said he pulled a helicopter with that. Howard said if he hung from a helicopter by his balls he could lose his balls. Horse said this is his job and if something bursts or rips off his job is over. Howard asked if the kids know what he's doing. Horse said his 4 year old thinks it's funny but she's too young to explain.
Howard said that's a hard core life he's living. He asked what his parents do. Horse said his dad is a teacher and his mom is a nurse. Howard asked if they tell him this stuff is just stupid. Horse said they have talked to him about it. He said that he thinks he has a shot to be famous. Horse said he'd like to be able to support his family and make a living doing it. Howard asked if someone in his family had special nuts. Horse said he's not sure if they did.
Howard said Horse is on the show Numb Nuts on MTV2 on Friday nights at 10. He said you can find him on NastyTheHorse.com too. Howard said that kids love him. Robin said her nephews turned to her and told her how great it was.
Howard asked where Horse lives. Horse said he lives in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Howard said he tried to get hired out there and they didn't even want him there. Howard said Horse is one of his favorites. Howard said he thinks they should send his tapes to the terrorists and show them what we're up to over here. Howard said he thinks that he would have been good in the military.
Howard asked Horse where he met his wife. Horse said he's not actually married yet. He said he is engaged. Horse said he likes being in a relationship so he's not going to be leaving her or anything. He said that they do want to get married but they don't have money. Horse said he is losing his health insurance in November. He said he might have to get married to get insurance from his wife.
Howard asked Horse when he'll know if he can take some kicks. Horse said he was going to do some today. Howard said no way to that. Horse said he'll be doing the Ronnie Mund Block Party soon too so that's where he'll be taking some shots. Howard said he didn't know he was doing the block party.
Horse told Howard about how he has had jobs that he worked but he would skip going to work when it snowed out because he didn't want to risk his life going to work for 8 bucks an hour. He said he'll risk his life doing his stunts because he loves what he does.
Howard asked who his hero is. Horse said that Tom Green was his hero. He said his face would hurt from laughing and he got a camera because he wanted to do funny stuff too. He said he didn't want to be Tom Green but he wanted to do funny stuff on camera.
Howard asked Horse how old he thinks he'll be when he stops taking shots to the nuts. Horse said he doesn't really know. He said if the money doesn't start coming he has his responsibilities with his kids. He said he doesn't think he'll ever stop doing it though. Howard asked what kind of money he thinks he could make doing it. Howard asked if a million a year would be good. Horse said that would be awesome. Robin said that Bam Margera has crazy money like that. Horse said he thinks he could do it. Howard said he thinks people would go to see him in Vegas and stuff. Horse said that's what he'd like to be able to do.
Robin asked what Horse and his friends goals are. Horse said they want to make money doing stunts. They just don't want to be normal. Robin said he's succeeded at that already. Howard said Horse would take a shot to the nuts now but he's in pain already. Howard said we already know that he can do it. He said we've seen it. Howard asked if he could appear in the nude. Horse said he has done some stunts naked. Howard said he should have been nude on AGT. He said that would have taken it to another level. Howard said he's not sure what to tell him. He said he's a fan and he's not sure what to do with this. Horse said he knows there's an audience. He said he just needs to figure out how to get it to Vegas. Howard said any of those guys in Vegas who can put a show together should cal the show.
Howard asked Horse if he could do a full hour. Horse said they could do an hour no problem. Howard said he should pull some other acts from AGT and work with them. He said they could get some singers to perform during the show. Horse said he would do it in a second. Howard said they could combine it so the Olate Dogs bite his balls or something. Horse said there are a lot of acts he could have done nut shots with. He said he wanted to do everyone else's acts. Howard said he sent him a whole page of notes about how he could win it. Horse said he did incorporate some stuff. He said that he wanted to bring Chuck Norris on the show and do something. He said he pitched the idea but they weren't able to make it happen. Howard said he should get big stars like Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts kick him in the nuts.
Horse said he did have Bam Margera and Sarah Underwood kick him. He said that he has had some famous people. Howard said Horse is known as the king of the nut shot. Howard said he really is that guy.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if this ever restricts him from his sex life. Horse said it never does. Howard asked if his girlfriend is hot. Horse said she is. Howard asked if he thinks he's going to still want to fuck her in 20 years. Horse said he will. Howard asked if he's romantic at home. Horse said he is a little bit. Howard asked if he does stunts in bed. Horse said he doesn't do anything too crazy. He said he does do one thing that's kind of crazy. He said he holds his cum in when he finishes. He said he orgasms and holds it in. Howard said they should discuss this on AGT. Howard asked where the stuff goes. Horse said he holds it in and then empties it into the toilet. He said he doesn't like to make a mess. Howard asked what the girlfriend said. Horse said he didn't cum all over her. He said she likes that. Howard said it seems like he doesn't want to have that full pleasure of finishing. Horse said it does feel good though. Howard asked if he likes his balls being touched during sex. Horse said he really doesn't. Howard said he doesn't either.
Howard asked if horse has a big penis. Horse said he's got about 8 inches. Howard said that's like 5 more than he has. Howard asked how many chicks he's had. Horse said he had about 10. Howard said that was from 16 to 21. Horse said that's right. He said he isn't an attractive man but he's not an ugly man either. Howard said he thinks he's a good looking guy.
Horse told Howard that all during AGT he was leaking spinal fluid so he was really sick. He said he thinks it's from getting his wisdom teeth pulled. He said he was working out really hard doing his P90X stuff too. He said he never got better after having his teeth pulled. He said that he was throwing up and stuff doing other shows. He said he got this blood patch done and they shot blood into his spine. He said he was supposed to be in bed for a week but he had to do the audition for the show. He said he had no idea how bad it was going to be. Horse said he had fractures in his face from the one time on AGT when he smashed his face. Howard said Johnny Knoxville has had some awful things happen to him. He has to use a catheter every day to pee.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Horse has had anyone come on to him at the show. Horse said no. Howard said he thought that chick with the husband, the muscle guy, was hot. Horse said that they kind of kept to themselves. Howard asked who was fun to hang with. Horse said Dittleman was fun. He said he was amazing doing the street magic stuff. Robin said maybe he should be touring with that guy. Howard said he should do a show somewhere.
Horse said that the Mariachi band was throwing parties every night at the hotel. Howard asked if there were any romances there. Horse said he thinks that there were guys trying to hook up with Ben Black's girl. He said that she was kind of teasing some people too. Howard said she was smoking hot. He said that guy wasn't banging her either.
The caller asked Howard if there were any women that Howard would have banged. Howard said Ben Black's assistant was hot. He said he liked that chick who sang with the guitar player too. He said that she should have worn better clothes though. Howard said she should play that sexual aspect up.
Howard asked Horse if he wanted to jump off the roof of the hotel. Horse said that was like 13 stories up. Howard asked if Horse got kicked by anyone there. Horse said they had Sebastian kicking one of the guys. He said Andrew DeLeon also kicked him.
The caller asked Horse how much he's been paid for his stunts. Horse said he can get a couple hundred so a couple thousand. He said he can sell those clips over and over again over the years so he could make more than 20 grand. Horse said that there are a lot of places he can sell the clips to.
Howard asked Horse if he could take shots for some weird dude who wants to fiddle with his balls. Horse said if the money is right he might do it. Horse said he has had offers to go to some porn event to do stuff. He said that there are people who have fetishes for that stuff.
Howard wrapped up with Horse and thanked him for coming in. Howard said he did get his show picked up after being on AGT. Horse said it is exposure so it's hope for another season. Howard said he should do a show with Dittleman. Howard they should also have some runner up prizes on AGT. He said that he mentioned that when he was there. Howard gave Horse some plugs for his web site and all of that. Howard asked if he was alright. Horse said he's alright. Howard asked how hard it is to stand up. Horse said it's not too bad. He said it hurts to lay down but it's not hard getting up. Howard said he feels bad for him. Horse said it could be way worse. He said he really could have gotten hurt in that stunt. He said he'll make more money off that stunt because he failed. He said that's how you make money.
Howard said it was hard to say goodbye to him. He said he felt bad for him. Horse pulled out a picture that his 4 year old drew for him. It was a picture of her with Howard and Howard said it looks like he's supposed to be a hot dog. Howard said that her name is Raiden. Horse said she's named after a character in Mortal Kombat. He named his other daughter Evie after a character in Pokemon. Howard said of course he did. He wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and played a clip of Rachel Butera doing her Wanda Sykes voice for a Mitt Romney endorsement. Robin said that she's on both sides. She can't make up her mind. Howard said he had one from Dice Clay (Jay Tesoro) too. Howard played that one. Howard said Underdog has come out for one of the candidates too. Howard played that one which was also Rachel Butera. He had one from Tracey Millman in the back office too. That was Rachel Butera once again. Howard played one with someone doing a Mitt Romney impression too.
Howard said people are saying that Obama lost the debate. Howard said it doesn't make a difference to him. Robin said that it appeared that he was agreeing with what Romney was saying. Howard said Romney did look more presidential and Obama looked like an angry elevator operator according got someone's report. Howard said he's still voting for Obama. Howard said Obama's head was down because he was checking out Ronnie Mund's Hot Chick of the Week on Twitter.
Howard said the only reason he'd want to see Romney is to see his hair in 4 years. Howard said Obama's hair is all grey and he looks burned out now. Howard said that job just fucks you up. Robin said she's thinking that Romney dyes his hair. Howard said it would be a lot of work to do that. He said he still has grey on the sides. Howard said he's going to come out of the white house looking like Kenny Rogers or someone like that.
Howard said there's nothing like watching a couple of guys talking about Medicare for an hour on TV. Howard said maybe it's that magic underwear that Romney wears that helps him out.
Howard said he was worried about the Whooping Cough the whole weekend. Howard said he was blaming Gary and he knows he was rough on him last week. He said he's sorry about that but if he does get Whooping Cough he's going to whoop someone's ass.
Howard said a few people died of meningitis recently and it's because of this drug that was injected into these people. Howard said it was contaminated and now people have meningitis. Robin said it was steroid shots for back paint. Howard said they say you can see the contamination with the naked eye too. Howard said he was thinking about that and how people want less government. Howard said you'd think that people would want people checking up on that kind of thing. Howard said he likes certain aspects of government.
Howard said that Gary heard about the meningitis outbreak in Tennessee and booked someone on the show from Tennessee.
Howard said national coming out day is coming up. He asked Fred if he has something to reveal. Fred said not today. Robin said that Sam Champion just came out of the closet. Howard asked ''Who knew?'' like it wasn't a secret.
Howard talked to some of his buddies and they were saying that Horse calls it ''pinching it'' and they have talked about it. Horse actually jerked off in front of the guys and they filmed it. One of the guys said that he filmed it but his hard drive crashed so he lost it. He said Horse makes some weird animal noises when he's doing it. Howard said Horse might be gay. He said that if he's jerking off in front of the guys then he might be gay. Horse said it took him like an hour to get hard. Howard said it would take him a lifetime to get hard.
Horse's buddy was saying that they were getting bored watching it so they left the room at some point. Howard said he has seen a guy getting a blow job in front of guys and it does get boring.
Horse's buddy said that Horse did drip when he held it in. Horse said that he just holds it in and he just holds it in there. He said he walks into the bathroom and drains it out. Howard almost threw up when he heard the description of what goes on.
Howard asked what the guys do after that. The guys said they did joke about releasing the tape. They didn't have it anymore but Horse didn't now that.
Howard said Horse is afraid that he is the only one who does this. Horse said he thinks it's normal because he does it every day. Howard said Horse was saying that he wasn't sure if he should be doing it because he's the only one he knows who does it. Howard asked if his girlfriend thinks it's weird. Horse said that it's the norm now. He said that it's not weird to her.
Gary said Sal does this too but he saves the stuff in his pouch. Howard said he doesn't hold it in though. He said he's just saving it in the pouch. Horse said sometimes he holds it until he can piss it out. Gary asked how he came up with it and why he thought it was a good idea. Horse didn't know. He said he just did it in high school.
Howard asked what this guy's name was in the studio. He had Mike and Billy in there. Billy said he has done this thing accidentally once. He said the first time he played with himself he did it accidentally. He said this is the first time he's heard of it going on. Howard asked the guys if they got laid back stage there at AGT. They didn't either. Howard wrapped up and let the guys go a short time later.
Robin said that they're saying that Heather is very embarrassed by the tape and she's sorry it got out there. Robin said that Heather is saying that she's sorry it got out. She's embarrassed that he took a phone call while she was giving him oral too. She also thinks that it makes her look like a piece of meat because of some of the things Hulk Hogan was saying in the video. She said she also thinks that Hulk is cheesy and it makes her look bad now that it's out.
Gary asked if she has said that it's her. Robin said these are things that friends of her's are saying about what she's said.
Howard said Oprah Winfrey just signed Tyler Perry up with the network and gave him a piece of it. Howard said that's crazy. He said you never see them give anyone a piece of the network. Howard said Tyler is going to be producing shows for the network. Howard said you just hire people to do that stuff. You don't give them a piece of the network. Howard said that just sounds strange to him. Robin wondered where his other sitcoms are because they say he is a prolific sitcom star. Howard said Oprah is already in a fat suit.
Howard said he just got the song he mentioned earlier in the show. He said he was editing some pictures over the weekend and he was listening to Deep Tracks. He said he heard this version of ''Lithium'' by Julian Coryell. Howard played the song for Robin and said he likes this guy. Howard said he had to lock the cats out of the room when he was working. He said they'll jump on his computer when he's working. Robin said she thought the song was a nice rendition.
Howard said that he was reading about how the Jets have 12,000 unsold seats in the stadium. Howard read some of that article and said that they have lost some of their best players. Howard said that he started to watch the Giant game yesterday but he was like ''fuck this'' because he had so many other things to watch. Howard said he had Homeland on his DVR and Sons of Anarchy. Howard said he has a new Batman cartoon he watched too. Howard said Robin was over but he ushered her out so he could do some ''work.'' Howard said he just had to watch some TV. Howard said that Sons of Anarchy is such a ridiculous show. He said that he loves it but they do the craziest stuff. Howard said he loves the show and he's consumed with it. Howard said they are like if the Three Stooges had a motorcycle gang. He said they can't do anything right. Howard said he also watched Conan O'Brien with Jenny McCarthy. He said he had to see what she looked like.
Robin asked Howard if he had heard who his boss Simon Cowell is dating. Howard said he heard he's seeing Carmen Electra. Howard said that's a pretty good score. Robin said she still looks pretty good. Howard said he thinks that he could have had her. He did shower with her but he didn't get her. Howard said she was in the shower with him and he thought all she wanted to do was be in the shower. Howard said if a chick is in the shower with you then just kiss her.
Howard said Jenny McCarthy made it clear to him that she would have slept with him. Howard said he has to look at her when she's out there. Howard said he is happily married but he does wonder what he was thinking at times. Howard said he thought he was in full mode back then but maybe he wasn't.
Howard said he loves TV. He said he watches tons of it and he thought his kids would love it too. He said he had TVs all over the house. Howard said he loves being able to hang out with a motorcycle gang. Howard said he's digging the show ''Revolution.'' Howard said he's watching ''Fringe'' too. Howard said he's not sure there will be an ending for that show but JJ Abrams assures him there will be.
Howard said that Chris Brown is now just dumping girls instead of beating them. Howard said we should all give him a big lollipop. Robin said her fear is that when someone is publicly beaten then they go back to them she may start hiding it so she doesn't look like a fool.
Howard asked who stammers more when they talk, JD or Obama. Robin said that JD starts stumbling and never recovers. Obama is able to recover.
Howard said he mentioned the fight between Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj and played that clip of him fighting with Sharon Osbourne. Howard replayed that clip.
Howard said that he wanted to get into some other stuff but it's almost 9. Howard said he has Eric the Actor on the phone but he's not sure he wants to get into that. Howard said he's always there and if he doesn't pick up he gets mad at him and writes letters to the show.
Howard picked up on Eric and Eric said that he shut him down last week when he was trying to request something. Howard said sometimes he doesn't have the time to talk to him and he doesn't seem to get it. Eric said it would take a fucking retard to not realize he's doing a show. Howard said Eric doesn't get it because he thinks that he should be allowed to say what he wants no matter what. Eric said he gets it. He knows that he's doing a show. He said he has people asking if he's on the show. He said people want to hear him on the show. Howard said he doesn't go by what people say on Facebook. Eric said they're his fans though. Howard said he doesn't go by that. He can't explain this to Eric.
Eric said that Howard has a guest on tomorrow who will be part of the TNA pay-per-view that he would like to be at. He said he wanted Howard TV to come to it so he could interview some people. Howard said he has explained to him before that they do cover some of what he does. Howard said one of his worst appearances was when Eric interviewed people. He won't ask controversial questions. Robin said he won't ask any interesting questions. Howard said that it's too much for the budget if it's going to be that bad. Howard said he's explained that before. Howard said Eric isn't wiling to ask questions that are interesting. Howard said it's just a chance for Eric to get to hang out with wrestlers he likes.
Gary came in and said that Eric wants to be their correspondent but he refuses to go to anything that they ask him to go to. Eric is using the show as a travel agency kind of thing. He only wants to go to things that he wants to go to. Eric said he already has a plane ticket to get out there. Howard said they still have to take a part of the Howard TV budget for that trip for their crew. Howard said that it would only be great for Eric. Howard said people will pay attention to Eric but they could do 20 other things with that money. Howard said Eric won't ask the questions they give him anyway.
Gary said they'll write him questions and he won't ask them. Howard said that's true. Eric said that what they don't realize is that they have a lot of fans within TNA and WWE. Howard said they don't want to be bored by him though. Gary said that they would send Wolfie to these events if they wanted to send someone to ask questions. Howard said that Eric is just a fan who wants to ask those people questions that he wants to ask.
Howard said he got so pissed off yesterday. He said he did a Google search for his name and saw an article about how interesting it was that they did this bit where Sal and Richard went out and asked people about Obama and who they're voting for. Howard said the guy opened the article in a way that pissed him off. Howard said it's in an Amarillo, Texas newspaper. Howard said the guy started off writing about Jay Leno doing his Jay Walking bit and how Howard Stern did a take off of that bit. Howard said the guy thinks that Jay came up with that bit and he's insulting him about it. Howard said anyone who is a fan of this show knows that this fucknut has no idea that Jay Walking was a lift from this show. Howard said he can prove it too. Howard said this is what happens in his career. Howard said he gets knocked as being a no talent while Jay gets the credit. Howard said he created that bit, not Jay Leno. Howard said Jay will claim he got it from Steve Allen.
Howard said that this guy Dave Henry from the Amarillo Globe News owes him an apology. Howard said he invented that bit and it's not Jay. Howard said that Jay is a fucking thief. Howard said that they did the Homeless Game long before Jay ever did that Jay Walking bit. Howard said that Dave Henry should also look into Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader. Howard said that those guys ripped that off from his show too. Howard said he gets ripped off all the time. Howard said that article sent him over the edge. Howard said that Jay didn't even know he ripped that off because his writers stole it. Howard said this guy is a cunt. Howard said he should call in so he can explain life to him. Howard said that this guy can also write about how he's not going to take pay cuts like Jay Leno did. Howard said Jay is so scary talented that he's taking pay cuts.
Howard asked Eric if he watched the Hulk Hogan sex tape. Eric said he did not. Howard said he doesn't live that. He said he heard Eric mumble that he could cross off seeing Hulk Hogan's penis from his bucket list. Eric said that is not true.
Eric said he is involved with TNA right now and they're trying to get money for the North Shore Animal League. Howard said that they just can't do this correspondent thing. He said it's not a comedy gold mine. Howard said Eric gets a lot out of it but they don't. Howard said that they're not going to get a lot of bang for their buck. Eric said that he's going to be on TNA's web site making predictions on who will win. Robin asked if they can't just tell Eric who the winner will be. Howard asked Robin what Eric just said. Robin said he's going to make predictions on who is going to win. Howard said they make the pick before the shows even air. Howard said it's all pre-determined. Eric said only the writers know, no one else. Howard said he has to go. He said he doesn't think he's professional enough to handle the interviews. Eric said he wants a clear shot to prove that he is as effective as anyone on Access Hollywood.
Howard played a clip of Eric from his American Idol show where the audio was skipping and choppy. Eric said he is better at asking questions off the cuff instead of reading them. Howard said that's not what they want. Howard said they want him to read the questions. Eric said he's slower that way though. Howard said they want him to ask their questions though. Howard played another clip from Eric's Country Show where he was talking about country music. In the clip Eric was talking up a song but the song was louder than him so it was drowning him out.
Robin mentioned the Tia Carrere interview he did where he choked. Eric was trying to explain that but Howard cut him off and played more of the country show where he was talking up a song and the song was drowning him out again. Howard said he doesn't think they can send him to the TNA event.
Howard said he read that Diana DeGarmo married some guy. Howard asked Eric if he's disappointed. Eric said that's good for her.
Gary asked Eric if he called Diana's mother. Eric said he did but that was to get her as a guest for his show. Gary asked why she blocked him then. Eric said that she was being hounded by fake people who were hounding her.
Howard said they aren't going to cover Eric's wrestling event. Eric said that he had some good examples of his interviews. Howard said he's sorry but he can't do it. Eric said that Shuli knows about one. Howard said he really has to go. He said he's already dedicated 25 minutes to this. Howard said he applauds Eric for being able to handle this rejection. He said he knows it's a disappointment though. Howard said he had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and asked what song Fred was playing. Fred said it's Pink's ''Blow me... one last kiss.'' Howard said she has to swing on a trapeze when she's on any TV show these days. Howard said they had her on the show many years ago and she never came back. Howard said Katy Perry was on the show years ago too. She only came on once.
Howard said there's a poll up on some web site that he couldn't pronounce. Howard said they did a survey on who the best judge on TV is. Howard said that it's him. Howard said that he beat out Demi Lovato. Howard said that the poll must be a little strange if he beat out Demi Lovato. Howard said he'll take that win anyway. Howard said he won and he doesn't care. He said he agrees with the poll.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who his replacement judge suggestion would be. Howard said he's holding out for Sharon to come back. He said he sent Sharon a gift. He said that she sent him one and now he's sending her one. Howard said he sent it out last week and it was a really nice gift but he didn't hear back for her.
Howard said he would like a judge who would bring in a lot of viewers. Howard said he'd like to go with an older woman like Cher or maybe someone like Oprah. He said he'd like it if Howie Mandel came back but he's only assuming he will be back. Howard said he was thinking Oprah or Rosie and maybe Rihanna or a Katy Perry type. The caller asked if they're consulting with Howard on that. Howard said they're still waiting to hear if he's coming back. Howard said they're going to do what they want.
Howard said he doesn't know who will be on the show. He said he heard Sharon won't be back. Howard said he thought that was bullshit but Sharon claims that NBC was bad mouthing her and she was bad mouthing them so she may not come back. Howard said he just kept his mouth shut. Howard said that he would like to work with Howie and Sharon again if he goes back.
The caller asked what Howard thinks about the 20 percent drop in ratings. Howard said the producers told him that he revitalized the show. He said that all of the reality shows are dropping in the ratings. He said that they were moved around the schedule a lot too so he thinks that had something to do with it. Howard said he thinks that he helped the show. Howard said that the demos were good with the show too. Howard said he was asked to come back for a reason. He said if the ratings went down because of him they wouldn't invite him back. Howard said he hasn't been told anything about a pay cut. The caller said Howard lies all the time so he asked if he's lying about this. The caller said he got a pay cut there at Sirius. Howard said he got a raise and he's working less time now than he was last contract.
The caller said that Howard stole his act from Steve Dahl. Howard said this guy is on Twitter all the time giving his wife a hard time. He said he knows who this guy is. Howard said that this guy is trying to claim that he stole his act. The guy said Howard was great on radio until he changed his whole program. Howard said this guy is trying to make him out to be a failure but he makes more money than anyone in the business. He said there's a reason for that. Howard asked the guy what he does for a living. The guy, Dan, said that he's a lawyer. Howard said that's bullshit. He said he'd like to see his tax returns so he can prove it. Dan said Howard should do that with his. Howard said this guy is F. Lee Shithead. Howard said that this guy is so busy at his law firm that he calls in at 9 in the morning. Dan said he works at home. Howard said he sits at home because he probably has 3 clients.
Howard said that this guy knows everything. He asked him what his real name is. Dan wouldn't say. Howard said he'd like to give him a free plug for his home based law firm. Howard said he'd have a lot of trust in some lawyer who works out of his house. Howard said there is no way this guy is a lawyer. Dan said he'll send him a copy of his law degree. Howard asked what his last name is. Howard asked if his home has wheels. He asked if clients drive to his home for meetings. Dan said that he can meet at his home office or out in public. Howard said it's no wonder he's at home tweeting about the show. Howard said if he goes back to AGT then he gets a raise.
Howard asked Dan if he has a million bucks to put up to bet him that he will get a pay raise. Howard said he'll show him his contract and he'll have to decide if he is getting a raise or not. Howard said that he thinks he knows what he's making. Howard said if he's right then he gets to keep Dan's million bucks. Howard said that in the second year if he gets more money than he made last year then he'll get that money. Howard said Dan will look at the contract. Dan agreed to that and Howard said he will sign a legal document. Howard said they're putting up a million each. Dan asked if this is legal. Robin said he's the lawyer so he should know. Howard said he knows he's not a lawyer.
Howard said Dan has to put up everything he owns to make this deal. Howard said he could use the million. He said he'd love to wipe him out financially. Howard said he's going to show him the document. Howard said he's saying that he will make more money this coming season than he did last season on AGT.
Howard said this guy is a fuckin' dry mouthed pussy. He hung up on him. Fred told Howard he had to do a spot break. Robin said they'll never hear from him again. Howard said the guy doesn't have a law practice. He said he sees him on Twitter every day complaining about his wife putting pictures up. He said he fucking hates that guy. Gary said they were looking at his Twitter account and he has like 24,000 tweets. He said he must be tweeting like 30 times a day. Howard said the guy isn't a real lawyer if he's working out of his house. Howard said the guy is such a liar. He said he's exhausted by that call. He said he wanted to be well into the news by now. Robin laughed and said she knows. Howard went into a live commercial and then a break.
Howard came back and said that they have a Win Fred's Money coming up soon so if you want to play then email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Howard took a call from Mariann from Brooklyn who was asking why he'd keep that guy Dan on the show so long. Howard said that he doesn't back down from fights. Howard said he has to battle. Mariann told Dan to go fuck himself. Howard thanked her for the call and hung up on her.
Howard said that Dan was more interesting than Mariann. He said that's why he had to keep him on. Robin said that's the kind of fans that put LeAnn Rimes in rehab. Howard said Dan is busy making his bed at his tax office right now so that's why he isn't calling back.
Howard said it was time for Robin's news. Fred played her into the news with a song parody by Kim. Robin read a story about Joren Van Der Sloot impregnating a woman while he was in jail. Robin said that he has a girlfriend even though he's in jail in Peru. Howard said there's always hope so Benjy should be able to have a girlfriend. Howard said that chicks dig famous guys even if they're famous for killing two women allegedly. Robin asked how you explain to someone that your father is a homicidal maniac.
Robin read a story about a multimillionaire who can't find a woman. He's tried dating services and agencies. Robin said that he's seen 250 women and he's still single. Howard said that tells you that something is off. Robin said they claim he's looking for a woman who is out of his league. Howard said the guy is probably a big bore and he's looking for chicks who are too hot.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that guy Dan should have to blow Ronnie on TV if he loses that bet. Howard said he's probably gay anyway. The caller said he saw a commercial for that Smarter than a 5th Grader show and Jeff Foxworthy was saying that he can't believe that no one had that idea before. Howard said that Jeff probably doesn't know that the creators stole the idea from his show. Howard said they have the dates and video of the shows that they ripped it off from. Howard said he talks about the game in one of his books. Howard said they did it on air more than once. He said they may have done it 20 times. Howard said if they admitted the lifted it then they'd have to pay him millions. Howard said that's Hollywood. Howard said he sued one company over something like that. Howard said he can't say if he won or not but he is smiling.
Howard said this show is the most ripped off show in the country. He said the 5th grader show pisses him off because they've made billions off of it. Howard did a live commercial read after that.
Robin read a story about a U.S. representative, Paul Broun, who has come out and said that he thinks that evolution is a lie from the pit of hell. They spent a minute on that.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up the way he went off on Gary last week about the Whooping Cough. Howard said he felt bad about that and actually called Gary to apologize. The caller also said that he heard Oprah wants to buy a house for the family of that Honey Boo Boo kid. Howard said he heard that they're already getting paid $15,000 per show and they're making plenty of money but they don't want to give her a raise because then it would ruin the show.
The caller asked Howard about the F, Marry Kill thing that everyone is doing on their shows now. Howard said that he's not going to go after everyone for everything that was taken from his show. Howard said it pisses him off when some guy writes about how he ripped off Jay Leno when Jay's show lifted the game from his show. Howard said they did that bit Jay Walking for years. They called it something different but it was the same thing. Howard said he wasn't inspired by Jay Leno. Howard said that's why he hates when people rip off his show.
Robin read about Albert Einstein writing a letter about how the bible was full of legends that were all pretty childish. Howard said the bible was written by a man and it's all morality lessons. Howard said that it's no better than that movie where a coke bottle fell out of the sky and the group of people worshiped the bottle.
Robin read about a couple of doctors who were doing research on stem cells and how you can turn adult stem cells into young stem cells and you can make any kind of tissue out of them that you want. Howard said that's the kind of thing we need because some day women won't need face lifts. They'll just put stuff on your face and you'll look young again. Howard said he's sure that it'll mean you'll be able to have a bigger penis some day too. Robin had some audio of these guys winning a Nobel Peace Prize for their research. Robin said when she read this she thought about how ingenious it is. Howard said that's great and all but he's more worried about the Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader thing. He did another live commercial read after that.
Robin asked Howard how he generates his passwords when he's coming up with a new one. Howard said he comes up with stuff that means nothing to him. He said he keeps them in a program that keeps track of them all. Robin said they say that if it's 6 letters or less then someone can crack it in 10 minutes or less. Robin said she has a password that was marked as ''brilliant'' when she came up with it. Howard said that he has letters and numbers in his. He said he doesn't use symbols in his.
Robin read about Arnold Schwarzenegger being on Meet the Press. She had some clips of him talking about how he hurt his wife and kids because of what he did. Howard said he's surprised he wrote the book because now the paparazzi are hounding Maria Shriver. Robin said this is more of Arnold hurting his family even more. Arnold was talking about how he's working on his relationships and family.
Robin read about the meningitis break out in Tennessee. Robin said that the numbers are up even higher now. Robin said that there are cases in 9 states now.
Robin said everyone knows there is going to be a vice presidential debate this week. Howard said he didn't know that. He said not everyone knew. Robin said that we're still critiquing president Obama this week. Robin said Obama was speaking at some event and chided himself. Robin had the audio of Obama talking about how the performers there perform flawlessly night after night and he can't say the same about himself. Robin said that a debate coach says that Obama's staff didn't prepare him for that debate. Howard read another live commercial after that.
Robin read about Jerry Sandusky being sentenced tomorrow. Robin said that he will most likely spend the rest of his life in jail. Robin had some audio of a guy talking about the sentencing saying that he could get as much as 442 years. Howard said he's worried about what will happen in 442 years if he gets out. He said our kids won't be safe.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked why he's so pissed about that guy who called in earlier. Howard said he's not upset. He said he's just debating and not laying down in the debate. The caller said that's the Howard he likes to hear. Howard thanked the guy for the nice call.
Robin read about Pete Townshend writing an autobiography. Howard said he doesn't know if he cares that much about The Who. He said he still hasn't read the Steve Jobs book. Howard said just reading the NY Times takes so long. Howard said he's not sure how people read so much. Howard said he has a few things he'd like to read. Howard said he has about 20 that he wants to read and then he gets busy with something else. Howard said they have so much going on with the show. He said he has a lot of email and things he has to read. Howard said between the show stuff and eating he doesn't have a lot of time. Howard said he had to get to know the new cat too. He said he had to go for a run and then he got home and decided to read with the new cat. Howard said he got the magazines and went to the room and sat down with the cat but the cat just wanted out of the room. He said he has no time. Howard said he's only halfway through the book ''Getting Things Done.'' He said he has a book that Jimmy Kimmel sent to him and he's like 5 pages in on that. Howard said he's reading about Getting Things Done and he can't even get that done. Howard said he thinks he has something going on with his eyes too. He said that throws him off. He said he just had an eye exam done like 2 months ago. He said he might need to get different sets of glasses. He said he's just tired of all of this. Howard said he'd like to read the book but he just can't do it.
Robin said David Blaine is doing his stunt and asked if Howard is going over. Howard said that he got an invite but it was so wordy that he has to teach people how to write. Howard said it should have been a short note. JD came in and said that they have live video of the act and he's not really getting electrocuted. He said he's just standing there with electricity around him. Howard said he doesn't get it. He said it's almost like performance art now. JD said there's a guy who has to hold a bucket while David pees. He said he just watched that part and saw David taking a pee break. Howard said it's hard to get excited about guys standing around electricity.
Howard took a call from a woman who said the show has been great lately and she loves what's been going on. She said that Horse claims to be a fan of the show but she wondered if he heard about that guy who sat on his balls and they blew up into huge things. Howard said these guys are hard core. He said that normal people can't comprehend what they're doing. The caller said she went to almost all of the live shows and her dad had to get up and leave the room when Horse was doing his thing. She said her dad wasn't able to stomach it at all but she loved it. Howard thanked her for the call.
Robin read about that guy who started the whole Kony 2012 thing. Robin said that guy broke down and he's going to be on Oprah talking about what happened. Robin had some audio of the guy talking to Oprah about that breakdown he had and how he doesn't remember it at all. Howard said he's never tried saying that it's not him, that's someone else. Howard said that's what he'll do if he's ever on Oprah. Robin said that guy says that he felt like it was an out of body experience. Howard said now Benjy has an excuse to use.
Robin read about the movie Taken 2 taking the box office by storm. Robin said the movie made $50 million this weekend. Howard said he's happy for Liam Neeson. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:30am.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he wanted to talk about Dave Henry from Amarillo. He said he had to call in after hearing Howard go off on the guy. He said he had to call the newspaper and he's apparently being inundated with calls. The caller said that the guy should have known that he has to check his facts. He said it's insane because the guy is going to get crucified. Jon said he agrees that you have to check your sources. He said Howard has been saying this for years that the bit was ripped off from him. Jon said that Howard hates the fact that he got the facts wrong and he advertised the fact that Jay came up with the bit.
The caller said he's interested to get on the guy's twitter to see where it goes. The caller asked Gary if he thinks he'll do a retraction. Gary said he thinks he should do one. He said the guy might be 35 years old and may not have listened to the Howard Stern Show. He said someone may have sent him something last week and he thought that Howard was taking that from Jay. The caller said he didn't know who Howard was years ago.
Gary said that they didn't add Los Angeles until 1991 or so. He said he can understand why people didn't know who Howard Stern was.
Sal said he sent a note out to the guys about the show and he even wrote that it was under ''The Gary Show'' and not ''Gary Show.'' He said he told Will to put the note up and he assumed that Will knew that it was ''The Gary Show'' because he had emailed them about it over the weekend. Gary said that he would have made it very clear that it was under the letter T so Howard would know. Sal said he thought that Will already knew about it because they had discussed it in the email.
Sal said that he was kind of bummed out that Howard had scrolled through it and it took away from the bit since it took so long. Sal said he does feel he was unfairly blamed for it but he's not upset about it.
Will came in and said that he didn't know the importance of the word ''the'' in the name. Sal said he did mention it in the email. Sal said that he wrote ''As a reminder it's under 'The Gary Page'...'' Will said he didn't realize that there was an importance to that. Sal said he should have known because he put it in the email.
Will said Sal should have given him more detail. He said that he didn't know that it was that important. Will said that Gary wouldn't have given a shit about it and he didn't have to hide it from him. Sal said that Gary did get upset about a jingle they created once. He said he thought that Howard would have liked it better if it was a surprised to Gary. Gary said he saw notes going around about the bit so he had an idea that they were creating it.
Sal said Will is just not taking the blame. Will said he's trying to help Sal out. Sal said Will ruined the bit. Sal said he didn't even reply to his emails over the weekend. Sal said he dropped the ball on that and he also dropped the ball this morning. He said Will is the associate producer and he should act like one. Will said Sal should be doing it himself. He said that he isn't in the studio at the beginning of the show.
Gary said that Will got yelled at and he didn't hear the ''the'' explanation. Sal said this made him look like an asshole. He said that he got yelled at over the bit and he didn't deserve that. Will said he can only do so much. He said that he put a note up for the first 10 minutes of the show and Howard ignored it. Sal said he's accepting ''the'' apology. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon said that Ronnie's girlfriend wants to get married. Ronnie said she doesn't want to get married. He said she was drunk in that interview. Ronnie said that she says she will get married to him if he wanted to marry her. Gary said she wants to marry him. Ronnie said she's okay with it if he doesn't marry her. Ronnie said she caught a bouquet at a wedding and girls get like that. Gary said she'd love to be married to him. Ronnie said she doesn't want to be married but she would marry him if he asked. Ronnie said he doesn't want to get married again. He said he's old and he's been through that.
Ronnie said he lives with Stephanie already. He said they've lived together for a year now. He said all she wanted to do was move in together. Jon said maybe she feels more strongly about getting married now. Ronnie told him to stop it.
Ronnie said he told Stephanie if she feels she's wasting her time then she should move on. He said she's not going anywhere but if she does then he'll be upset but that's the way it goes.
Gary said that Ronnie would probably have a pre-nup. Ronnie said he wouldn't have one. Ronnie said he has had fights with her where he has told her to get out. Gary said that it's not easy when you break up and have to have someone move out. He said it's hard to get someone to just get up and leave.
Jon asked how often they discuss it. Ronnie said it's not that often. Gary asked if he would change his mind once they've lived together so long that it's a common law marriage. Ronnie said he doesn't care.
Ronnie asked Benjy if he's going through the same thing. Benjy said they have discussed it but Jon pointed out that they haven't been together as long as Ronnie and Stephanie have. Ronnie said he has done it (marriage) and he doesn't need to do it again. Ronnie said Stephanie has seen it and she knows what happens to married people.
Shuli said that Stephanie was all over his daughter when he was at the house. He said he thinks she wants kids. Ronnie said she likes kids but doesn't want any of her own. Shuli said that Stephanie is so full of life and she is like the opposite of Ronnie. Ronnie said that she loves being part of the whole thing. Shuli said that Ronnie loves to try and piss her off.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he went through what Ronnie is going through. He said that he dated for a while and he moved in with the girl. He said he's been with her for 10 years. He said they just recently got married. He said that she had no security and he did the marriage thing for her. The guy said that he wouldn't marry again if it wasn't for the security thing. He told Ronnie not to jump that ship so fast. Ronnie said he's not. He said they talk about it and he talks to his shrink all the time.
Benjy asked if he's worried that she'd leave if he married her. Ronnie said that doesn't make sense. Ronnie said that's why they're just living together. Ronnie said that she can just pick up her stuff and go if she wants. It's not as easy if they're married. They had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said Tim has called him before and said that he's not sure how he handles it. He said he feels like he's been kicked in the stomach.
Jon asked Ronnie if he ever gets apologies. Ronnie said no. He said that the stuff gets forgotten about and then it'll come up 6 months later. He said he's used to it and he knows the show and the way things happen. He said he just goes along with it. He said if he didn't do that then maybe he wouldn't be there anymore. Gary said it's different there than at Letterman. He said that Rob Burnett doesn't get blasted in front of the audience. He said it's really tough to deal with. Gary said the guys in the back understand it though. He said the hardest part is the interns who aren't used to it. He said it's really weird when they look at him and then avert their eyes.
Gary said Horse never did really explain what made him start doing that. Benjy said that they talk about this in a sex class and he thinks that Horse is somehow holding his load in his stem. Gary said he's holding it in but he's wondering where the fun is. Shuli said it sounds like he has another audition for next season.
Jon wondered if his wife or girlfriend enjoys that. Jon asked Sal if he's talked to his wife about it. Sal said that he just throws in the towel at some point. He said that it's been better lately. He said that she will jerk him off once in a while since she doesn't blow him anymore. He said that's just the way she wants it. They had to end the show a short time later. They were done at 11:15am.
Howard started the show talking about how bundled up he was for work today. He said he thought it was going to be really cold out but it's not that cold.
Howard said he was watching Rachel Maddow and she seems to have a lot of information. He was wondering if she has a lot of writers. He said that he would like to see her debate like Jon Stewart and Bill O'Reilly. Howard said he thinks she knows too much. He said she'd win in a debate against someone like Bill O'Reilly. Howard said that woman may be an alien. Howard said she knows things that no one seems to know. Howard said he's envious. Robin said she probably reads. Howard said he has to do that.
Howard said Bryan Cranston and Hulk Hogan will be coming in today. Howard said Hulk is getting a lot of attention with that sex tape that's out.
Howard said they have Hulk on all the time. He said he heard about the tape and last time Hulk was in Hulk said this about it... Howard tried to play the clip but the audio wasn't coming up. Howard said it's started already. He said he's sure they checked the board. Howard asked Scott if he checked it today. Scott came in and hit a button and said that he and Evan went over it twice today. Howard asked him to check the board better. Howard said maybe it's time to retire. Scott is 59 years old. Howard figured he was like 65. Howard asked if he has any shot at retiring. Scott said he'd like to but there is no shot. Howard asked if he can retire financially. Scot said no way to that. Howard said he must want to do something else other than checking a button.
Howard said Scott is only a year older than him but he looks 20 years older. Howard wondered if Rachel Maddow has anyone like that working for her. Howard said he doesn't know what to do with him. Howard said that he likes how he brought Evan into that. Howard said you know Evan will tell Gary that he didn't check it at all. Howard said that's what Scott does. Howard said the two of them have to check because no one trusts him to do that.
Howard played a clip of Hulk Hogan coming in last time he was on and saying that there was no way there was a tape of him with Heather. Howard said he's not sure what's going on there.
Howard said Robin once had sex with Jason Kaplan and they taped it. Howard played a clip of a bit they put together with clips of Jason and Robin in the shower together. Robin said it didn't even sound like they were in the same room.
Howard also played a clip of him and JD having sex. Howard said that was a sex tape of theirs. He said he had one of Baba Booey and Richard Christy too. Howard played that one with Gary calling Richard a piece of shit and other names with Richard making all kinds of weird sounds.
Howard said his mother had sex with Big Foot too. Howard played that clip and it was Howard doing his impression of his mom with audio of Big Foot mixed in. Howard said that was exclusive tape. Howard said Hogan is going to be there today so they'll see what he has to say.
Howard said a radio show aired there on their channels that was very controversial. Howard said it was Will and Jason and it was called The Back Office Show. Howard said that they riled up a bunch of people with the show. Howard played a clip where Jason talked about how JD isn't talking to him after their little blow up on the air. Howard said that JD is cold hearted. He said he's not even sure what Jason did. Robin said JD can't turn off stuff between work and outside. Howard said he thinks that he's doing the same thing to him. He said JD doesn't really talk to him. Howard said he seems to have frozen out everyone.
Howard asked what Jason did. JD came in and said that he'll tell him what Jason did. Howard asked if this is temporary. Robin was wondering if she was frozen out. JD said she's not even there. Howard said he thinks JD has him frozen out too. JD said he's not.
JD told Howard that he didn't like the way Jason was making him look job wise. He said he thinks Jason is an opportunist and he will make someone look worse than him whenever he gets the chance. JD said he will make himself look better any way he can.
Jason came in and said that he was talking about the block party in the news and he was just angry at the news. He said he wanted some of the block party pictures. He said JD's reaction was to stop talking to him.
Howard said he thinks that the guys in the back mistake guys who are go getters for something else. Howard said that he's going to have a meeting about this today. He said they're going to figure out who is their superior and who they have to report to. Howard said that he loves Jason and how he tries to make things better for the web site. Howard said Jason is a go getter.
JD said Jason didn't come up to him off the air and ask him for the pictures. He said Jason went right to the news. Jason said he didn't go right to the news. The news came to him. He said Jon Leiberman came to him. JD thought that he had gone to Jon first.
Howard said they want pictures for the web site and that's all Jason was asking for. Howard said he thinks that's the right thing to do. JD said he thinks that's right too but he didn't like the way Jason went about it. Howard said he thinks JD is wrong. He told JD to apologize to Jason. JD said no way. He said he already apologized to HowardStern.com
JD said that Jason is going to be gloating about Howard backing him up in the office. Howard asked Jason not to do that. Jason asked JD if he should have sent a private note to Howard instead. JD said he doesn't want to be involved with Jason in any way. Howard said Jason isn't a kiss ass like he thinks he is. Howard said he thinks JD is wrong and he has to talk to Jason. He thinks that JD is mad at himself. JD said he is in a way.
Jason said JD doesn't like him and that's fine. Howard said he has to unfreeze Jason. He said he thinks it's weird that he turns his back on the guy at the wedding. Jason said he did it in front of his wife too. He said that it was really weird. Howard said he has to make a line about who the boss is out there. Howard said Jason is going to be JD's boss. Howard said what Jason did was keep him from getting mad at JD. Howard said he'd be pissed if he put out a picture and it wasn't on HowardStern.com Howard said JD did something wrong and Jason didn't. Howard said JD should be thanking Jason.
Howard said JD is wrong in this case. Jason said that Howard just put him in charge of him. Robin asked if Jason is unfrozen. JD said no. Jason said he's going to have to go through his daily work and make sure he's on time. JD just sighed. Howard told JD he was out of line this time. He said he will stick up for him when he's right but this time he was wrong.
Howard played the clip of Stephanie at Richie and Rachel's wedding talking about the big wedding they have in the works. She said that they're going to get married a year from next may. She wants to do it in upstate New York. Howard said Ronnie doesn't get it. Ronnie said he heard it. He knows what she's saying but he knows she doesn't really want to get married.
Howard played a couple of song parodies that were created using Ronnie audio clips. They were to the tune of some wedding songs. Howard said he gets that Ronnie doesn't want to be married again but he has to wake up. Ronnie said that Stephanie has lived with him for a year and they had this conversation. Howard said it's clear she wants to be married. Ronnie said they had the conversation about where they were going with this whole relationship. Howard asked where it's going. Ronnie said she has moved in and he's happy with that. He said they're having a great time. He said she's doing blogs for HowardStern.com and coming to the block parties. He said she said if she was to get married she would want to be married to him. Howard told Ronnie he's like the Taliban. Ronnie said he was just being honest and he doesn't want to hurt her. Howard said he's going to feel foolish if he doesn't marry her.
Ronnie said that Howard waited 7 years to marry her. Ronnie said he doesn't know what he's going to do. He said she may get fed up and leave. He said that's the chance he has to take. Ronnie pointed out that Robin has never been married so she can't say anything in this. Robin said she doesn't have someone pining for her. Ronnie said she had people but she threw them out.
Howard said if Ronnie really loves her he should tell her to leave. Ronnie said he has told her that she should go if she's unhappy.
Gary told Howard that Ronnie has told Stephanie that she can go with Gange if she wants to leave him. Gary said Gange thinks that Ronnie has been trying to push her off on him. Ronnie said Gange is out of his mind.
Howard asked Ronnie if he thinks that Hulk Hogan broke the man code. Ronnie said he doesn't know what's going on there. Howard asked if a guy asks you to bang your wife then are you breaking the man code. Ronnie said he doesn't know.
Howard said he thinks it's weird and Ronnie has to figure this out. Ronnie said they are trying to figure it out. Howard asked if he thinks he's like Hef or something. Ronnie said he's not but he's been married and he doesn't want to do it again. Robin asked why he's with a woman if he doesn't want to be married. Howard said he could protect her financially too. Howard said it would make her feel better to be Mrs. Ronnie Mund. Ronnie said that's nothing great. Howard said it might be for her. Howard said she might feel a little security if he marries her. Howard said it makes an honest woman out of her. Howard said that's the point he's trying to make.
Gary told Ronnie that if he dies tomorrow then his family could kick Stephanie out of the house. Ronnie said he doesn't think his son would do that. Gary said you don't know that though. He said it could happen. Howard said she's not his family and that's the bottom line. Howard said they want that wedding. Howard said he won't be going but he wants it to happen. Howard said he'll send him a gift though.
Howard said if Ronnie gets married in the city he'll come. Ronnie said that won't happen. Howard thanked Ronnie for coming in. He wrapped up and said he is the playboy Ronnie Mund.
Howard played the clips of Sal and Richard asking people on the street what they would do. one guy said he would fire the guy who brought that person in. Howard said that he didn't want to fire the guy but he wanted to make it know he wasn't pleased.
Howard played another clip where a woman said that the person should be fired for bringing that person in. Howard said he felt that Gary hated him. He said it's like a big joke that he's getting Whooping Cough. Howard played more of the interview with the woman who said that the person who did it is hateful and stupid among other things. Howard said that's the message Gary sends when he does something like that.
Another person on the street said that the person shouldn't have exposed that other person to the sick person. That guy said that the person is ''inresponsible'' for doing that. Howard said that people think he was being mean to Gary but he thinks he had every right to be upset with him. Howard said the letters he got were going off on him and he doesn't think he was that out of line.
Howard said he would never do that to Gary. He said Gary would never do that to his kids. Howard said he would never do it to Gary either. Then he said he might do it to him now.
Ronnie came in and said that he and Howard used to watch Melrose Place and talk about it. He said they can talk about these other shows they share too. Howard said the Homeland show is kind of the same thing every week and it's like they almost catch the person but then they don't. Ronnie said it is pretty crazy how they do that stuff. Robin said that the guy in the show is better connected than the CIA. Howard said the terrorists should have won already based on the way they do stuff in that show. Howard said he still loves the show. Howard said Sons of Anarchy is great but the gang is the worst gang. He said there is no gang like that out there. Howard said everything is ridiculous on that show.
Howard said that the only show that makes sense is Breaking Bad. He said Bryan Cranston will be in soon to talk about that. Robin said some of the stuff they do on that show is a little crazy though. Howard said he will give her that.
Howard said he had to go to break but he took another call. The caller asked how much money he spends on voice lessons. Howard said he never takes voice lessons. Howard said he took three lessons from a woman many years ago but he stopped. Howard said he was busy with his career and he consciously started listening to the way he speaks. Howard said he thinks he has improved over the years. Howard said he still isn't that great of an announcer but he has tried to drop that New York accent. He said it's horrible. The caller said he lives in Las Vegas and he has that accent too.
The caller asked Howard if he thinks he'd get paid if he wasn't in the studio working like Robin isn't there. He asked how Howard feels not getting paid by Sirius. Howard said he feels betrayed. Howard told the guy he's not going to let him get worked up like the guy did yesterday. Howard said he doesn't feel good about being betrayed. Howard asked what that has to do with Robin though. Howard said they're both getting paid their salary. Howard said he's not sure what the guy was going for. He said he should be original and not be like the guy yesterday. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and said if you watch the show ''Breaking Bad'' Bryan Cranston is the star of the show. Howard said Bryan is there with hair. Howard said it's weird to see him with hair. Bryan said he waxes everywhere.
Howard said he watched all of Breaking Bad at once. He said he was late to the party. Bryan said it's better late than never.
Howard said he would shave his head for a role like Bryan did. Howard asked if he cares about being attractive. Bryan said he doesn't really. Bryan said that he can grow the hair back and lose the Van Dyke and look different. He said he likes that.
Howard asked how he doesn't fall in love on the set of the show. Howard said he'd want to bang the woman who plays his wife, Skyler, on the show. Howard asked Bryan about doing a scene with Julia Roberts where all he wore was a cock sock. Bryan said he did do that. He said that Julia had full sweats on in the scene. He said he was naked as a jay bird and Julia was fully dressed. Howard asked if he was dry humping her in the scene. He said he was and then he rolls off of her. Howard asked if he got aroused in the scene. Bryan said he didn't get aroused. Howard said he had an erection when he shot ''Private Parts'' and had to do the scene with the naked bathtub girl. Howard said he had to bend over to keep it hidden. Howard said he had to go in his dressing room to masturbate and that still didn't slow him down. Howard said it's embarrassing to him. He said he's like an ape.
Howard asked Bryan about when he was a young kid and his father was an actor. Howard said his dad would do well enough to get a pool one year and then the next they didn't have enough for the chemicals for the pool. Bryan said he saw the struggle and you have to be steady as she goes with the career. He said he's still like that.
Howard asked Bryan if he knows what he's worth. Bryan said he has a general idea. He said his business manager is a long time friend. He said he was set for life after doing Malcolm In the Middle. He said that Breaking Bad isn't going to be one of those shows that you can run and run. He said it's serialized so it won't be like Malcolm.
Howard said he heard that they wanted to go with a big name in Breaking Bad. He said he heard it was Matthew Broderick. Bryan said they wanted to go with him or someone else. Bryan said he worked with Vince Gilligan on The X-Files and that helped. Howard said he must have blown Vince away. Bryan said he actually blew him. Howard got a laugh out of that.
Howard said that it sounds sad that Bryan's dad left his mom because he was an alcoholic. Bryan said his mom had issues too. Bryan said they have reconnected now.
Howard asked if he likes the fame. Bryan said he will turn and look away when he sees people coming up to him. He said he doesn't like the attention. Howard said he wanted that when he was coming up. Howard said he knows what it's like when no one cared. Howard said he likes that people care now. Bryan said the fame has done wonders for more opportunities and that's what you want.
Howard said he loves that they're going to end Breaking Bad. He said that he hates the shows that leave you hanging. Howard asked if Bryan knows the ending yet. Bryan said they will start shooting in December and they will air the final episodes in July. He said there are so many twists and turns in Walter White's life that you don't know what will happen.
Howard asked Bryan if he ever challenges Vince Gilligan with the character choices. Bryan said he never does. He said it's all up to Vince Gilligan. Howard asked Bryan if he puts up with people who show up late and pull that kind of bullshit. Bryan said he hasn't seen that on Breaking Bad but he has seen it in other shows. Bryan said that you have to set the tone for a show and show up on time if it's your show.
Howard asked Bryan why some people don't appreciate what they have when they have a good part like that. Bryan said that sometimes they walk down the street thinking that they're the character in the show and they don't know how to separate it.
Howard asked Bryan about his Emmy wins and how bad he wanted them this year. Bryan said he really doesn't care. He said it's kind of like having a surprise party. He said it's like someone asking you if you want one. He said if you walk into a room and someone mentions your name it's a nice thing. Howard asked if he's forced to go to the Emmy's. Bryan said he's not and it is an honor to win one. He said that he didn't have a speech written for this year but he was prepared.
Howard said that the guy who didn't win was the guy who played Gus Fring. Howard said that he was robbed. Howard said he was such a great actor. Bryan said that he's saying that Aaron Paul shouldn't have won. Howard said he thinks he does a fine job playing the role but he's not Giancarlo Esposito. Howard asked Bryan who he thinks did better. Bryan said that Giancarlo Esposito was amazing last year. Howard said that Aaron is great too and he's really just busting his balls.
Howard asked if the woman who plays his wife is someone he'd bang. Bryan said he's an older guy now and he's not sure he'd even have that chance. Howard asked if he got married young. Bryan said he was actually 35. Robin asked if he had any famous women. Bryan said he didn't have any famous women because he wasn't famous himself. Howard said he thinks there are plenty of women who are hotter than the actresses who work in the industry.
Howard asked Bryan if he has been to the Playboy mansion. Bryan said he would like to go. Howard asked if he has an open marriage. Bryan quickly said no.
Howard asked Bryan about going to the Emmy's and going up against Damien Lewis. Howard said that guy is good with his accent and all. Howard said it was obvious that Bryan deserved it. Howard said he thinks that they eventually just give it to someone else instead of giving it to Bryan for a fourth time in a row. Bryan said he thinks that might be part of it.
Howard asked Bryan if he has any plans after Breaking Bad is over. He said he knows he has this movie ''Argo'' out right now. He said he saw that and it's great. Howard asked Bryan if he's afraid that he will turn down a great role like Breaking Bad now that he will have offers. Bryan said that Vince Gilligan was the one who wanted him to do the role and he thought that he'd be the right guy for this one. Howard said Bryan played a guy who was bad on The X-Files but you also know he's a good guy. Howard said that's very much like his Breaking Bad role.
Howard asked Bryan if he still takes acting lessons. Bryan said he did a lot of that but he doesn't do it now. Bryan said that he wanted to be a police officer when he was young. He said he took police classes and graduated number 1 in his class. He was only 16 at the time. Bryan said he was very good at that. He said he also boxed when he was young. Howard said he thought he could beat him up but now he doesn't think he could. Howard said he sizes him up and then sees that he boxes and thinks that he'd lose.
Howard asked Bryan if he acted as a kid. Bryan said he did some fun stuff as a kid but nothing really serious. Howard asked Bryan if he can memorize scripts. Bryan said that he can do that. He said that you just have to repeat it and the repetitiveness works. Bryan said he has a way of remembering his lines. He said that they all come to him when he does it like that.
Howard said that some of the shows are like monologues and it must be hard to remember all of those lines. Howard asked if he has to do it verbatim. Bryan said some guys do want it verbatim. Howard said Private Parts was hard but he doesn't know how he did it. Bryan said Howard should act again. Howard said he was offered a role but he's not sure he has time to do it. Howard said he would love to do it though. Howard said the character fascinates him. Bryan said Howard has the cache to arrange it. Howard said he can't do it if he does America's Got Talent again. Howard said he loves doing that show too but it takes up a lot of time.
Robin asked Bryan about doing Malcolm in the Middle and said it really wasn't the acting role that Breaking Bad was. Bryan said that getting that chance to walk into a room is what actors want. Howard said it's amazing that some people never get that chance. Howard said there are actors on Broadway who are great but they never break through to TV or movies. Bryan said that you need to have patience but you also need to have luck. He said there hasn't been anyone who hasn't had luck in this business.
Bryan said he wrote a movie for his wife, Robin. He said that they met doing the show Airwolf. Howard wondered how Jan Michael Vincent is doing. Bryan said he thinks he is. He said that they used to have to drag him to the set to do the show. Bryan said that Ernest Borgnine would blow his top over that. Howard said Jan Michael had his own show and he didn't appreciate it. Bryan said that's what it was. He said it was awful.
Howard asked about the movie he wrote for his wife. Bryan said he wrote it as a birthday present. She read it and loved it and then asked when they were going to make it. Bryan said he had to put it away for years. He said he eventually raised some money to do it. He said that they shot it for $300,000. He said they kept delaying it and delaying it. Then they went out and shot it for 3 weeks. He said he edited it for 3 days when he got this audition for X-Files. He said that he thought he could do the episode. He said if he had kept going with the movie then he would have missed out on that role. He said that was part of that luck he was talking about earlier.
Howard asked Bran if he has missed out on any great roles that he turned down. Bryan said he really doesn't feel he has. Bryan told Howard that he had to do Argo because the script was so good. He said he did a small part in Little Miss Sunshine too just because the script was so great.
Howard asked Bryan about his father flaking out and his parents divorcing. Bryan said that he did leave and he didn't see him from the age of 12 until about 22. He said he didn't know what he felt at the time. He said it just happened and you just go along with it. He said that he didn't get much from his dad in those years. Howard asked how he reconciled with him. Bryan said it took patience. He said he and his brother eventually contacted him. Howard asked why they bothered to do that. Bryan said his brother was an actor too and they were under the guise of getting into acting and they wanted to contact him since he was an actor. Howard asked what his dad said to them. Bryan said that he said he wasn't a good father but he was a loving father. Bryan said he bought that. He said that parents will teach the children all the time. He said that they will teach you how to behave and also how not to behave. He said that's what his father did. Howard said he would have been pissed.
Robin asked where his mom was. Bryan said she was always depending on the kindness of others. He said she was like Blanch Dubois. Bryan said his mother always resented the fact that she had to give up her show business life to raise the kids.
Bryan said his father was tearfully grateful that they contacted him. Bryan said he remarried and found the love of his life. He said he was happy for his dad. Howard asked what it was like to see him again. Bryan said they went to their grandmother's house so they had an intermediary. Howard asked if his dad was in touch with his mother during those 10 years. Bryan said he was. Howard wondered why he would be in touch with his mother but not his own kids.
Howard asked Bryan if his brother is an actor now. Bryan said he's into religion and he didn't get into acting. Howard asked what religion he's into. Bryan said he wasn't able to remember. He said it's the one with the dot on the forehead. Howard asked if he's working now. Bryan said he worked on the Ashram for years. He said he got married and had a child and now they've divorced and his brother has a text book business that he runs. Howard asked if he's jealous of him. Bryan said he doesn't think he's jealous but he thinks that he wishes he had taking a shot at acting.
Howard asked Bryan about growing up and if he got into drugs and stuff when he was single. Bryan said he didn't really get into it. Howard asked if he had any threesome when he was single. Bryan said he came close. He said he was encouraging it to happen but he wasn't able to close the deal. Howard asked if that's the biggest failure in his life. Bryan said that might be. He said it's all out of the question at this point.
Howard asked Bryan if he's worth $30 million. Bryan said he's not quite that much. Howard said the Malcolm in the Middle money must be nice. Bryan said that the renegotiations can be good.
Howard said that the new movie ''Argo'' is coming out and Bryan isn't the star. Howard asked if that bothers him. Bryan said it doesn't at all. He said he's filling a role in some way or another and he's fine with that.
Howard asked if he lost his virginity to a hooker. Bryan said he did. Robin said this interview is all over the place. Bryan said he's following it.
Howard asked how he lost his virginity to a hooker. Bryan said in high school they had career day and his brother went and met a policeman. He said his brother joined the police explorers. He said they got to go to Japan for a month. The second year they went to Hawaii. Bryan figured he was going to do the same thing and travel to see some things. He said that's why he joined the Police Explorers. He said when he got into the group they went to Europe for 5 weeks. He said that the cops were their chaperones. Bryan said you can see where this is going. He said that they went all over the place over there. Bryan said when you're 16 years old you have free time and you want to do all kinds of things. He said they were drinking and they went to get a hooker. Bryan said that the other kids went right to the whore house. Bryan said he didn't have the money just so he could back out. He said there was a woman chewing gum and looking at him so he just waited. He said he sat there like an idiot while you hear banging going on. Bryan said this woman came out and asked how much he had. He said she wasn't hot. Bryan said that she was kind of Matronly. Bryan said she told him to just ''come'' and had him go with her. Bryan said he couldn't say no anymore.
Bryan said that he got washed down with a hot wash cloth. Howard said you must get hard while that's going on. Bryan said that she points to a bowl of condoms and you grab one. Bryan said she positions herself on the twin bed and hiking up her skirt. Howard said she must have been all hairy too. Bryan said it was 1972. He said he hasn't been to another stripper since. He said that they did go to more while they were there but not since then. Bryan said that he did mount that woman and did his thing. He said he got into it and he put his hand on her breast and she slapped his hand away. Bryan said he pulled it back and apologized.
Howard asked if he went to another whorehouse while he was there. Bryan said he was experienced at that point. He said that the guys were all telling stories. He said he was telling them that this woman was really hot. He said they were going out nightly after that. He said he got some good ones after that. Bryan said that they got to Holland and you get choosy. He said that there were better looking women there in Holland.
Howard asked if he does an impression of Brad Garrett. Bryan said he did one once at the Emmy's after he lost to him for the second or third time. He did a little bit of the impression for Howard.
Howard asked Bryan if he has any famous friends. Bryan said that Tom Hanks and his wife are friends. Howard said that must be great. Howard asked if he's been in any movies with him. Bryan said he was in ''Larry Crowne'' with Tom. Howard said that's right. Howard asked if Tom and his wife get annoyed with their kid who does the rapping. Bryan said they never talk about that. He said he knows all the kids and they're great.
Howard gave Bryan a plug for the movie ''Argo'' which is opening this Friday. Bryan told Howard he thinks he should take that acting role that he was offered. Howard said he's really not an actor though. He said he doesn't know. Howard said he loved making Private Parts. He said the first 3 days he had Ivan Reitman threaten him. He said he had to get into it and eventually he loved doing it. He said by the end of the movie he felt that it was the best experience in his career. Howard said he thinks that Bryan would love this role that he was offered. Bryan said maybe Howard shouldn't do it then. Howard said he might have to ask Bryan about doing it.
Bryan told Howard how he got this role in Argo. He said that he was asked to come in and talk to Ben Affleck about the role. Howard flipped out and said that's bullshit. He said that they should have just given him the role based on how he acts in Breaking Bad. Bryan said he didn't have to audition. He said he just had to talk about the character and find out if they were on the same wavelength. Howard said he may have overreacted to that. Howard said he's fine with that. He said that he's okay with Ben too. Howard said he called into the show a while back. Gary said he was the most famous guy who called in for a game they were playing. Ben gave the money to a charity. Bryan said that he tried calling in for that and they told him that they had already gotten Ben Affleck so fuck that.
Robin asked if he thinks he'll ever get another role like Walter White in Breaking Bad. Bryan said that he doesn't think he will. Howard asked if he thinks that he would ever make meth for real. Bryan said that they actually did learn how to make it. He said they were told exactly the process. Howard asked if he would try it just to see if he could do it. Bryan said he would be curious. Howard said he has a feeling they actually cooked meth. Bryan said maybe. Howard said he must have cooked it. Bryan said it is extremely difficult. He said there are a lot of volatile components and you have to be very careful doing it. He said there are better cooks than others. He said many of the cooks are meth heads too so you see lots of burn marks and stuff.
Howard asked Bryan if his meth came out good. Bryan said he was a pretty good cook. Howard asked if he's ever tried it. Bryan said no. Howard asked again. Bryan said that he is staring Howard back down just like Howard is staring him down.
Bryan told Howard that his 19 year old daughter is an actor and she played a part in one episode of Breaking Bad that he directed. Bryan said that when you go out for an acting role you can't think of it as a job. He said that it's a performance you're giving. Howard said he was thinking that it was a job.
Howard said Bryan doesn't get to bang a lot of chicks on Breaking Bad. He said Bryan is the one who gets naked. Bryan said that must be what America wants. Howard said he must be pretty big in the pants. Howard asked Bran if he's ever measured his penis. Howard said he measured his and he was 6 inches. Bryan said he's 6 and then he gets hard.
Howard asked Bryan when he got married the first time. Bryan said he was married at 23. Howard said he thought he said he was 35. Bryan said this is his real marriage that he's in now. He said he was married at 23 and she was an actress and they were just starting out. He said they wanted different things and she moved back to Florida. Howard asked if she tries contacting him now. Bryan said they do talk once in a while. Howard said he must brag. Bryan said that it might feel that way if she had dumped him but that's not how it ended. It just wasn't working out for the two of them.
Howard said he could bullshit all day but they should end on a high note. Howard gave him a plug for ''Argo'' and said that you should see this. He said that Bryan is a great actor and you must follow him. Howard said Breaking Bad is such an amazing show. He said he is terrific in it. Howard said he watches the show on his iPad and he loves it. Bryan said he doesn't even know how it's going to end. Robin said it will be sad no matter how it ends. Robin said that he was taking a gun out of the trunk of his car so it didn't look good. Bryan said he thought that Walter had to die but maybe not. He said maybe everyone else would die and he would be left alone to deal with his loneliness and the decay of his world. Howard said he hopes it's not a vague Tony Soprano kind of thing. Bryan said no to that. Robin asked what Hank is going to do. Bryan said he will finish taking a shit.
Howard said he didn't know the kid with CP actually has CP. Bryan said that he does and he's doing very well with the ladies. Bryan said that he's seeing his fair share of the action. Howard asked if the CP is so bad that he needs those braces. Bryan said it's not that bad but you can see the effects of it. Howard asked who he's getting. Bryan said he's taking it to the streets. Howard asked if he knows the kid's name. Bryan said it's RJ. Howard said he was just testing to see if he knew the name. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that talking politics with Sal is wild. Howard said that Sal was talking about how he thinks that Obama is doing a great job talking to our Allies Israel, New Mexico and others.
Howard said that Hulk Hogan is on his way up there. He should be there any minute now. Howard said that he has so many questions about this sex tape. He said that he has a lot to talk to him about. Robin said that they did ask if he was banging Heather. Howard said they'll get to him as soon as he gets there. Howard said he's not even on their floor yet. Howard said he will make him get fully nude to make sure it's him. Robin said his ass was very white in that video. Howard said that it was round and muscular. Howard said he's doing pretty good for a guy his age.
Howard said Bubba used to ask him if he wanted to bang his wife and if he was in that video he'd be upset about his ass being shown.
Howard said Lady Gaga puked on stage and so did Justin Bieber. Howard said that someone else puked too. Howard said they say that Pink is pissed off that she's not included so she's going to have violent diarrhea while she's on one of those trapeze things.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a question for Hogan but he has to wait for him to come in. He wanted to know if Bubba's wife or Brutus the Beefcake gave a better blow job. Howard said he'll let him ask that question if he gets to him later.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who said he wanted to tell Hogan that the whole tape is fake. He said that Hogan leaked it out himself. He said he thinks that he leaked it out himself. Howard said he will ask him about that but he might be able to take his call later. Howard said he'll keep him on hold. Howard said he has three theories about how that tape got out but he'll have to ask when Hogan gets there.
Howard had Eric the Actor on the line and Eric asked why he's doing this to them. He said that he has a question for Hogan too. Howard said he didn't know that. Howard said he's not a mind reader. Howard asked what he wanted to ask. Eric said he wanted to ask him a question about the pay-per-view this week. Howard asked Eric to get to the question quickly if he gets to him. He said he's not sure he'll even get to the call. Howard said he has to have him ask his question quickly. He got Eric back on the line and had him ask his question quickly. Eric did it so Howard put him back on hold.
Howard asked Hulk if he's on a work out thing now. Hulk said he's on something called Visalis. Howard said he's ripped. Howard said Hulk is in good shape. Robin said they were just talking about his ass. Hulk said the Visalis thing is a great way to lose weight. He said that he can make money with it too. Hulk said he's 290 ponds and that's what he was at in 9th grade. He said when he was on the juice he was about 340 pounds. Hulk said he's 59 years old now.
Howard asked Hulk if he prefers Hulk or Hogan. Hulk had a hard time sitting down because he had a hip replacement.
Howard asked Hulk about this sex tape thing. Hulk said had a metaphor for this thing and said it's like doing laundry and you're with someone you're used to doing laundry with leaves and someone else asks if you want to do laundry at their house. He said that's what he did.
Howard said that Hulk said that he would never bang another guy's wife the last time he was on the show. Howard played the clip where Hulk said that he would never bang Heather. He said that's man law.
Howard asked Hulk what happened. Hulk said he was in protection mode. Robin said he lied to them. Hulk said he had his fingers and toes crossed. Howard asked if he's still friends with Bubba. Hulk said he's still friends. Howard said he knows that Bubba can't talk about it. Hulk said that there's a law suit about to go down because he didn't know he was being filmed. Hulk said that both parties have to know and he didn't know.
Howard said the quality of the movie wasn't very good. Hulk said that he has to be open minded about this whole thing. He said he can't say who he thinks did it. He said it could have been anyone. Howard said that Bubba used to say that he'd let him bang his wife and Hulk was the only other one who he'd let do it. Howard said he thought Heather was hot but he was married. Howard said if that tape came out he'd be so embarrassed. Hulk said he is really embarrassed. He said that he got his life together and then this tape came out. He said the tape is over 6 years old and it's surfacing now. Hulk said you have to figure out who wants to hurt who. He said you have to wonder what the motivation is.
Gary came in and said that RadarOnline.com is saying that Hulk has braced his family for a second sex tape that might come out. Hulk said he has no idea but there could be another one. He said his kids are great about this and they know who he is. He said he wishes he could give all of the details. He said he would like to come back and talk about it. Hulk said that he knows what he's doing when he does it. Hulk said that there is a whole story around it.
Howard asked Hulk if the tape makes him look like a god in a way. He said he looks good in it and she's talking about how big his cock is. Howard said he comes off like a stud. Howard asked if he thinks he came off bad in the tape. Hulk said he's seen about 15 seconds of it. He said he got sick to his stomach. He said that it has turned his life upside down. He said in his personal life and in his business life.
Howard said Hulk takes a phone call during a blow job. Howard said that's awesome. Hulk said he thought it was a family member. Howard said he thinks it's great but Hulk said he's brutal. Hulk told Howard that he's been talking to his attorney and he's saying what Howard is saying. He said that they're giving him a thumbs up for what he did but it's sad. He said it's sad it came out and he's trying to get his life on track. He said he just got married.
Howard asked when he heard about the tape being out there. Hulk said it was about 6-8 months ago. He said he can't remember who told him. Howard said there are a few theories about how this got out there. Howard said that one theory is that Bubba likes to watch his wife getting banged by dudes and he taped it. Then there's the theory that Heather put it out there. Then some people think that Hulk was involved and knew it was being taped. Hulk swore that he had no idea. He said swears that he had nothing to do with it.
Hulk said that he was in a bad way and he had ongoing dialog about doing this for a couple of years. He said that it was almost funny that they were asking him to do this. He said that he was in a bad way at the time and he just gave in and did it. He said that he knew his marriage was really screwed up bad at the time. He said that he didn't believe that there was such thing as verbal or mental abuse before he went through it. Hulk said he was beaten down like a dog and his wife had just decided to go to California. He said that he was at home with the drifting team he had and his wife was going off on him. He said he went to Bubba's house to hang out and then he just decided to go with it. He said that he never dreamed there would be a camera in Bubba's house.
Howard said that it must take away from his friendship with Bubba after he does it. Hulk said it should have been but Bubba was cool. He said that he was on the same page with his wife. Hulk said this happened twice. Howard said he doesn't think Bubba would do this to him. Hulk said he doesn't think so either. He said he's going to keep an open mind about it. Howard said it looks like a hidden camera in the room. Hulk said that he's not saying who he thinks did it but he's saying that it could have been anyone.
Hulk said he spoke to Bubba about it and Bubba said that he had nothing to do with it. Hulk said he's about to turn it over to the authorities because it's a federal offense to tape someone without their knowledge. Hulk said he told Bubba if he did do it then he was never his friend. He said if he did do it and he admits it then he might do things differently. Hulk said that his family has been destroyed by some stuff that has happened. He said he has to go through this and find out who put the tape out. He said that he took a huge hit when the pictures came out. He said his wife Jennifer isn't part of this media circus. Hulk said he has nothing to hide now.
Hulk said that he sent out letters to people trying to find out who put the pictures out. He said that rattled his world bad. He said this time when it hit his world again then he got a call from his wife. He said that her cousin had called her and he didn't even know the tape was coming out. Howard said he doesn't think he came off bad in the video. Howard said he thinks that Heather looks worse. He said that he read her statement about being mortified by this.
Hulk said for two years Heather and Bubba were saying how cool this was. He said he feels like an idiot after this. He said she's either not happy or she is. There is no in between. Hulk said he would hope that she's embarrassed by it. He said he'd be happy if it wasn't Bubba or Heather that put it out. Howard asked if it was great sex. Hulk said nothing was wroth this. He said he doesn't even remember. He said it was such a bad time in his life and this was the worst thing that has ever happened to him.
Howard said he could have taken Bubba up on the offer when he was single because he was kind of numb too. Howard asked Hulk if things were good between him and Bubba after he did it. Hulk said it was no big deal. It was like nothing had gone on.
Howard asked if this is the weirdest scene he's ever been involved with. He said it is but he feels safe there with Howard. Howard asked if he wants to go into hiding. He said that he doesn't come off all that bad in the video that was put out but there's more to it. Hulk said this has destroyed his world. He said he prays that Jennifer can hang in there with him. He said it happened before he met her. Howard said he gets that. He said he can't imagine what that would be like. Hulk said that Jennifer had a family member call her about it and he's working on a TV show trying to get work done.
Howard asked Hulk if he tried calling heather. Hulk said that he has tried to reach out but he doesn't have her number. He said that he has asked Bubba to reach out and had other people reach out too. He said he's going to turn this over to the Attorney General and once they have it it's out of his hands. He said they will prosecute. Hulk said that from what he understands it's illegal to tape like that without consent. Hulk said he had Vivid calling him asking if he would sign off on this thing. Howard asked why he won't do it because it's going to be out there and it could make millions. Hulk said he doesn't see that happening. He said you have to sign papers to have it released. He said there are people who complain that the video is out there and they had to have signed off on it. Hulk said he won't sign off on it. He said his situation is that he wants to trail back to the person who set that camera up. He said that person should go to jail. Hulk said he is rattled now and he's not even sure how to say the words.
Howard asked if they're gong to take lie detector tests. Hulk said he thinks everyone should do it. Howard said everyone should do it on his show. Howard said that would be wild.
Robin said that this could shake a woman's knowledge of him and she may think that she doesn't know him anymore. Howard asked if Jennifer is upset with him at all. Hulk said he did see that she was upset and shaking to the bone. Hulk said that she was shaking so bad when she talked to him. Howard asked if it's affecting his relationship with Bubba too. Hulk said it is. He said most women would walk away. Hulk said he's hoping that she won't do that to him. He said that the one good thing is that it happened before he met Jennifer.
Howard wondered who the hell would have put the camera in there. Howard said it's black and white and you'd think they'd do it in color at least. Howard said they should have done a 3 camera shoot. Hulk said this isn't good. He said he's been rocked pretty good before but this is bad. Hulk said he can see how this could do something horrible to someone's life that's beyond repair. He said he isn't thinking suicide or anything but he can see why some people would get that way.
Hulk said he has talked to Bubba and they're still great friends. He said he talked to Bubba yesterday or the day before and he told him this thing is going down and he's in full support. He said Bubba is praying that it's not Heather. Howard said he's not sure how they're going to find out. Robin said everyone will be questioned. She said they have their ways. Hulk said that they will go back and figure it out.
Howard asked if Hulk thinks that he broke the bro-code. Hulk said that he thinks that the bro code between him and Bubba might have been broken. He said that he knew what he was doing and he's not proud of it. Hulk said he can't even explain it. Hulk said he's glad his kids are understanding. He said that they know what was going on with his personal life at the time and they witnessed it. He said they're still dealing with that on a certain level. He said they're cool and understanding. Hulk said he's never had so much bad stuff happen to him in such a short amount of time.
Howard said that sex can drive you crazy. He asked why it was so important for Bubba to have a friend bang his wife. Hulk said that they talked about it for 2 years before it happened. He said that Heather was relentless about it. He said she really wanted him to do it. Robin said that she's saying that she's devastated and she never wanted her family to know. Hulk said that's why he's praying that she didn't release the tape. Howard said he doesn't think she did. Howard said he doesn't know her but he still doesn't want it to be that she released it.
Hulk told Howard that Heather has always been nice to him and his family. Howard said she's good in bed too. Hulk told him to stop. He said Howard is Brutal. Howard asked if he wore a condom. Hulk told him to stop. Howard asked what the answer is. Hulk said yes he did. He said he's going to plead the fifth. Howard asked him not to beat him up.
Howard said he didn't know he had such a big cock. Hulk said he's killing him. Howard said no woman has ever said to him ''put that big, thick cock in me.'' He said he might be in pain but he only prays that something like that would happen to him.
Robin asked Hulk about the tan he has. Hulk said he has a tanning bed in his house and he doesn't use it. He said he doesn't lay in the sun because he'll turn purple. Howard said he has a nice, round, muscular ass. Hulk asked what's wrong with him.
Howard said he sees that Hulk's ex-wife broke up with the young kid and she also got arrested for DUI. Howard said that takes some of the heat off of Hulk. Hulk said he's been there, done that.
Howard gave Hulk some plugs for the TNA Impact Wrestling Bound for Glory pay-per-view event. Howard asked if they'll put this into the story line. Hulk said maybe he'll start dropping something other than his leg on people. Howard said he'll be dropping loads. Hulk said he has been wrestling TNA for a while and it's not Tits N Ass. He said maybe they should call it that now. Howard said Hulk is the man.
Howard said he loves the movie The Wrestler and he heard that Hulk was offered the lead role. He said that he turned it down but he's glad he did. Hulk said he did watch it and think he should have done it. He said that he thinks that Mickey Rourke did a great job with it and if he had done it then it might have been looked at as a joke. He said he did some movies with another company and they did crazy numbers but he's not good at reading a script and seeing how great it can be. Hulk said he has made a lot of bad decisions. He said he has turned down a lot of roles that he should have taken. Howard said he's starring in a new role now.
Howard asked how his wife got 73 percent in the divorce. Hulk said it was his choice. He said he was married for 23 years and he didn't want to have alimony payments every year. He said he told her to take everything and just get it over with. Hulk said it was a good idea because now he can choose whether or not to talk to that person ever again.
Howard asked if she gave him the business about the sex tape. Hulk said she did send him some nasty emails. He said that he can't even get into the cursing stuff. Howard said that she could have just put it aside and left him alone. Hulk said that would have been nice. Howard said he wants to say that he's sorry that it happened. Hulk said that his daughter Brooke is cool and she doesn't judge him.
Howard picked up on Eric the Actor who Howard coached earlier on how to ask his question quickly. Eric asked if he could come down and watch the pay-per-view live this weekend. Hulk asked if he has the money to fly out there. Eric said he's not sure about that. Howard said he must feel bad asking Hulk for something like that. Howard hung up on Eric to get Hulk out of that. Hulk said he'd get Eric into the show if he was local but he can't fly him out there.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked who has the tape right now. Hulk said he'd like to know. Gary said that they say that Vivid has cut the deal and they have the tape. Hulk said he'd like to know who they got it from.
Howard picked up on Hanzi who said that Hulk is lying clearly. Hanzi said he has been a wrestling fan for years and Hulk will do anything to get over. He said he ruined Macho Man's career. Hanzi said that Hulk wrote in his book that he waved to a cancer kid at Wembly Stadium and he wasn't even at the event. Hulk said this guy is crazy. Howard agreed.
Howard picked up on Mariann from Brooklyn who said that she and her son grew up with him. She said that it was crazy that he took calls while he was having sex. She said that her life is so boring compared to his. Howard said that's true. He said Hulk has some life. Howard said his life is pretty sedate. Howard asked Mariann if she would be insulted if a guy took a call while she's blowing him. Mariann said she would be very upset. Howard said the blow job must not have been that good. Hulk asked if he was talking to him. Howard let him out of that one and didn't make him answer.
Howard asked Hulk why he didn't sue his ex-wife over the comments she made about him being a homosexual. Hulk said that some people can call people a homosexual and they get in legal trouble but then his ex goes out and does it and then says she as just joking and she gets out of it. Hulk said if he did that then he'd get in trouble.
Howard took a call from Leon Spinks (audio clips) and the guys in the back had him mumbling and not making sense. Hulk said he has no idea what he's even saying. Howard said that was an insult to Leon.
Howard asked Hulk if he thinks that he'll have a negative reaction to him at the TNA event. Hulk said he hopes not. Hulk said he said some stuff about OJ Simpson once for Rolling Stone and they quoted him out of context and it blew up. He said they sold a lot of magazines with that.
Howard took a call from the guys in the back again who were playing Crazy Alice audio clips as if they were Linda Hogan. They had her yelling about how she hates that mother fucker.
Howard said that Hulk is going on the Today Show today. Howard asked him not to have sex with Kathie Lee. He said it'll end up all over the internet. Howard said he knows Hulk is in pain. Hulk said he made him smile today though. Hulk said this is a tough deal but Howard made him smile.
Hulk said he wants to find out who did this to him. Howard said he can arrange the lie detector tests if he wants. Howard said he has a lie detector guy you wouldn't believe.
Howard said he hopes that Hulk is okay. Hulk said that he has heard rumors that he might be in The Expendables 3. Howard said that would be great. Hulk said that he would love to be the bad guy in the movie. That led to Hulk and Howard talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger for a short time.
Howard asked Hulk if he's had anyone famous reach out to him. Hulk said he has but he can't say who it was. Howard asked if it was David Letterman. Howard said Dave has had his own thing. Hulk said that's true but he didn't say if it was Dave.
Howard told Hulk how he'd love to have Bubba there but he's not even getting paid himself there. Howard said they hate him around there. Howard said no one even talks to him. He said he's suing them. Hulk had no idea.
Howard took a call from Richard in the back who was doing his Sly Stallone impression saying that he had a role for him if he's willing to suck a cock. Howard hung up on him. Hulk asked if he has to suffer anymore there today. Howard said he'll let him go.
Hulk said that Howard did make him smile today. Howard said he sees that. Howard said he came in there kind of a mess and now he's doing a little better. Hulk said he feels safe coming to see Howard. Howard said he will recover from this and he is a strong man. Robin said he just has to weather the storm. Howard said something horrible happened to him. He said that some woman said that he had a cock like a beer can. Howard said that he's like a woman next to Hulk. Howard said he has a clitoris compared to what Hulk has. Howard told him to stay away from his wife. He said there will be no taping around his wife.
Howard said Hulk isn't coming to his house and he's not going to be near his wife. Howard said Hulk has done it again and they're all looking forward to the pay-per-view.
Howard said he wanted to make it clear that Bubba wasn't in the room at the time he had sex. Hulk said ''right.'' Howard wrapped up and thanked Hulk for being there. He wished him luck and said he hopes he makes it through this. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he likes that Howard made Hulk laugh today. He said he thought it was a great interview.
Howard took another call from Eric the Actor who said that there will be a segment on TNA Wrestling's web site where he predicts the matches for Bound for Glory. Eric said that they were going to give the money to North Shore Animal League if he got them right but now he's not going to give them the money because of the way Howard is treating him. Howard said there is no one nicer in this world to Eric than he is. Howard said that Eric had some balls asking Hulk Hogan for tickets to the TNA show. Howard said he will continue to give to North Shore Animal League because Eric won't.
Eric said he was saying that the airline part wasn't going to be an issue because he has someone who will help him out with that. Robin said he did say he didn't have transportation. Howard said no one wanted to hear him on the air working that deal. Howard told Eric to apologize to the animals. Eric said he's not going to do that. Howard thanked him for the call. Eric said he's trying to show some gratitude toward him. Howard said that gratitude comes and goes very easily.
Howard said he felt that Hulk was being very sincere. Robin said he doesn't know about that. She said when someone lies to you once and then you uncover it then you're not sure. Howard said he gets why he was trying to cover it up the last time he was there. Robin said that means that you don't know if he will lie again. She said he was trying to regain his credibility. Robin said Howard has been duped before too.
Howard said it was time for Robin's news. Fred played her into the news with a song parody by Eli Braden. Howard guessed that's who it was and said he loved that song.
Robin said that there was supposed to be a big stunt today. Robin said an Austrian guy was going to skydive from 23 miles above the Earth. They had to delay it because of winds in New Mexico. Robin said he will be in a space suit and wearing a parachute. Robin said he's hoping to break the sound barrier without a plane. Howard said he thought the guy who banged the chick while skydiving was more of a stunt to him. Robin said they say this is a very dangerous jump. She said that his dive would take about 20 minutes.
Robin read about Mike Love being heartbroken over the comments about him firing Brian Wilson. Mike claims that he didn't do the firing. He said he's not Brian's employer.
Robin read about this fungal meningitis outbreak that they're saying could have infected a staggering amount of people. Robin said that it has claimed 8 lives already.
Howard said that the big news is that Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman broke up. Howard said he was wondering how many people are rushing to get into bed with either one of them. Robin said they were married for 41 years and now it's over. Howard said the only sex for Danny is his annual prostate exam. Howard said he had his prostate exam recently and he has a hard time relaxing. He said he's going to have High Pitch Mike come over to give him some pointers on how to relax.
Robin said that the oldest woman has passed away. She was 132 years old. Robin said that they say she died on September 30th.
Robin read about a prisoner who had no hands who demanded that they give him something to use for hands. They are going to have to give him hooks of some type. Howard read a live commercial and went to break after that.
After the break, around 9:50am, Howard came right back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin read about a guy who entered a pet store contest where he ate cockroaches and ended up dying. Robin said they're not sure what killed the guy. Robin said the autopsy was done but they are awaiting results of some tests. Robin said the prize he was trying to win was a snake.
Robin read about Jerry Sandusky being in the courtroom now for his sentencing. Robin said he made some statements last night and he was calling the allegations false. Robin had some audio of Sandusky's attorney talking about the case.
Robin read about some Nobel Peace Prize winners and had some tape of some people talking about that. That led to Howard talking about how great technology is. Howard said he loves Facetime on his iPhone. He said he felt like he was Sulu on Star Trek. Howard said Beth was showing him the cat on the camera and it really is amazing technology.
Robin read about Arnold Schwarzenegger being on the Tonight Show last night. She had some audio of him talking about his 60 Minutes interview. Robin said Jay Leno also asked Arnold ''What the hell were you thinking?'' and Arnold never did answer. Robin said Arnold will never visit them to actually answer questions. Howard did his Jay impression for a few seconds while they were talking about that. Howard said it's no wonder they take away Jay's salary. He keeps doing shitty interviews. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin read about how today would have been John Lennon's 72nd birthday if he had lived. Howard spent a short time talking about pictures he had seen of John recently. Howard said he was a brilliant man and we may never see a great musician like him again. Howard said the guy is a game changer. Fred played ''Imagine'' while Howard was talking about what a genius he was. Howard said he can't think what would have come out of that brain if he had lived. Howard said he was fantastic and he's not sure what else to say. Howard said this is someone he admired and looked up to. Howard said he would have loved to have met him and talked to him but he never got that chance. Howard said John Lennon, more than anyone, was the fully realized artist. Howard said he thinks that guy who killed him really robbed the world. Howard wondered if John would have wanted him to fuck Yoko while he watched. Howard said he knows he's not doing a great eulogy for him but he really wishes he was still with us.
Howard said there are some people he never got to meet and his grandmother is one he missed out on. He said she was hit by a hit and run driver. Howard said that John Lennon is the other one he'd like to meet.
Robin read some news about Mitt Romney and what he's been saying about President Obama. Howard said the guy thinks he's going to win the election so he's on fire. Robin had some audio of him talking at some event.
Robin read about the Wallflowers new album and had some of their music for Howard to play. Howard wondered if he was playing the right stuff. He wondered when they went Disco. Howard played a second song and said he's hungry so it's not a good day to listen to music.
Robin read about some pastors who are supposed to be speaking out this weekend about politics. Howard said they should stay out of politics. Howard said that they should make all of these religious organizations pay taxes. He said that would help. Robin said they want to stay tax exempt. Howard said that they can't be political and be tax free. Howard ended the show after that. They were done at 10:15am.
Jon asked what made the difference for Cranston. Gary said Howard watched all of Breaking Bad. That's what did it. He said that he started watching it and got into it and watched the whole series. Gary said that Jon, Jason and Steve would get upset when they would pitch Bryan and he'd get rejected. He said that they gathered a lot of information on him and he pitched Howard some other ideas for the interview and they had some cool angles for him.
Jon said that Bryan seems to be very grounded and he's been around for a long time so he knows how to do an interview. Jon said that Bryan was saying that he likes to fly under the radar though. Gary said that he seems to be very normal and grounded even after all of the stuff he went through. Benjy said he seems almost extra normal like Tom C or Neil Patrick Harris.
Jon said that Bryan had some crazy stories and he also spoke very candidly about Breaking Bad and how he doesn't know how it's going to end. Jon said he's humble yet proud about it too. Gary said he said something very cool when they went to break. Gary said Bryan said that he would rather be on a show that's good and know it's good instead of being on a show that's popular. Gary said the fans of the show are so loyal and crazed that it seems like a really big show. Gary said that the show is having another life on iTunes and on DVD. He said people hear about it and want to go and find out more about it.
Gary said that he and his wife started watching Breaking Bad together. He said that he went away for a while and she kept watching so he's behind in watching. Gary said he'll go up to the bedroom and she'll be watching and she'll kick him out of the room so she doesn't spoil anything for him. Gary said that someone else told him that his wife asked if the show was good and he told her it wasn't just because he didn't want to get started from the beginning again. They had to go to break after that.
Gary said he thinks that if he had nothing to do with this he'd be so pissed off. He said he doesn't care how good friends he was with Heather and Bubba he'd have nothing to do with either of them again. Jon asked if he believes that Hulk didn't know there was a camera there. Gary said he does believe that.
Benjy asked Gary if he's saying that even if he was close friends with Bubba and you don't know he had anything to do with it, would he still be mad. Gary said he would be mad. Benjy said maybe he had a security camera set up and maybe someone stole the footage. Gary said he's heard that Bubba has said that he has cameras all over the house and you have to expect to be taped in the house. Gary said that Hulk seemed sad and somber like he had the weight of the world on him but he didn't seem angry.
Jon asked Scott the Engineer about his swinging days and what he would do if a tape popped up. Scott said he would be really pissed. Scott said that it was very strange and if it was Heather then she would know that there was a camera there. Gary said that he doesn't believe that someone else put the camera there. He said that either Heather or Bubba knew about it or maybe both knew. Benjy said maybe all 3 knew about it. He said they could have known that they taped it and someone else found it and released it.
Benjy said Hulk seemed to want to get out that Heather was so into him that she was the one instigating the sex. Jon said he didn't get that part.
Gary said there's something else going on with Scott and how he has to clean his studio. Gary said that he heard a sound clip of him saying he's an engineer and not a cleaner. Scott said he has old material on shelves and Tim told him he has to clean his studio up. He said that he has to go through that stuff at times and he had to do that today with stuff he took off his shelves and put in a bag.
Jon Leiberman came in and said that the back office radio show was delayed for 30 minutes the other day and Tim saw the studio and asked him to clean it up to get to all of the equipment that they had to get to. He said that they had 15 boxes delivered to the studio to get that stuff cleaned up. Scott asked where all of those boxes are supposed to go. He said they have to digitize all of that stuff and put it into the system. Scott said he had to find something that was removed from his shelves a few weeks ago and he has that stuff in there for a reason. He said he's not sure what the cleaning up means. He said Tim wants all of the stuff removed from the shelves. He said they have a lot of equipment under the tables in there and that's not where it should be.
Gary asked why he didn't ask what ''cleaning it up'' means. Jason came in and said he knows what it means. He said the studio is a mess. He said that he was in there the other day when they were unable to get on the air. He said they had to fight through some stuff to get to the equipment that was buried. He said Tim saw that and said that he had to get it cleaned up. Scott said he doesn't have the time to clean it up. Gary said that sometimes things need to be done even when you don't want to do it. Scott said it will get done but maybe not today or tomorrow.
Scott said he's trying to get the stuff out of the studio. Tim came in and asked if it has to do with his OCD issues. Tim said the studio is a fucking mess. He said that Scott takes no pride in ownership and the studio is disheveled. Scott said that he functions just fine in there. Scott told him to just fire him if he doesn't like his work. Tim told him not to go there. Scott told him not to tell him where not to go. Scott said he should talk to him like a human being. Tim said he does. Scott said he does not. Tim walked out.
Gary said that Scott started yelling at him and he's playing that ''if you don't like it fire me'' card way too early. Scott said that he was saying that they can't find their way through his stuff and that's just not true. Gary said that Tim didn't talk to him in a bad way like he wasn't a human. Jon said he was surprised that Scott went off on him so quickly.
Scott said he was trying to have a conversation with him. Gary said at the end of the day Tim could just say ''Scott, get it done.'' Scott said he was upset that he said something about the way he does his job back there. He said Tim said that was a matter of opinion. Gary said he brought up his mess and he was referring to that. Scott said that's not what it was.
Jason said that Tim asked him to clean up his office and then Scott comes in there and complains about it. He said that Scott blamed the clean up on Tim's OCD and maybe that's why Tim was upset.
Gary said that he's not sure Scott should have gotten that mad at him over that. Scott said that's why he told him to just fire him if he doesn't like it. Jon Leiberman said that Tim wasn't too happy about the comments he made about cleaning up the office. Gary said that he has to clean up his office too and he doesn't complain about it. Scott said he has cleaned up his office when he's been asked to do it. Scott said he has things that he needs in his work flow and he can't just get rid of them. Gary said what he gets out of it is that Scott doesn't want to clean up or he doesn't know what he wants cleaned up. Scott said he imagines that Tim wants everything out of there. Gary asked why Scott hasn't asked Tim exactly what he wants. He said he must have spoken to him and asked what he really wanted cleaned up. Scott said he thought he wanted everything out of there. Gary said he might want to clarify that before assuming that he wants it all out of there.
Jon asked Ronnie what he thinks is going on. Ronnie said that he thinks that Scott is upset that they're moving more people in that studio. Gary said Sirius is so big now that they don't have a studio to use for their shows. He said that Scott's studio is his office and they fuck with his stuff. Gary said that it's like having a desk at work and having someone else come in and use it over the weekend. He said that might be what he's upset about. They had to go to break after that.
Gary said that something else funny happened with Scott today. He said that Sal went to ask Scott to do something and he knew he was going to et yelled at. He was right. Scott said that he was trying to get something done. He said he was working on stuff for Robin's news and he had other stuff to get to. Gary said he could have told him to come back later but instead he just yelled at him.
Gary said that Scott shared space for 18 years at K-Rock and now he's upset that he has to share his space there. Jason said this isn't happening all of a sudden. He said that Scott tried to pull the move where he locked his office at the end of the day. He said that they had to talk to him about that. Scott said he had some stuff missing from his studio. Gary said that they talked about that and he worked that out.
Gary said just locking the door isn't a good discussion. He said having a discussion would be a better thing to do than just locking his door.
JD said that there are politics going on there with the different shows there. He said that they have different shows there and Jason is upset with Jon for doing his TV show. Jason said that show is good and he has no problem with it. He said he did think it was wrong to take that part of GEEKTIME and make it into a show.
JD said he doesn't want to be involved with Jason at all and now he can't avoid it. Jon said that Jason was also made employee of the week again. Jon asked JD if he thinks he's not that type of employee when Howard is talking about Jason like that. JD said he is confident enough not to let it bother him too much. He said it does bother him a little bit. Jason said he likes JD but he has such outright hatred for him that it makes it hard.
JD went off on Jason for talking about him the way he was. Jason said JD has said shit about him to make him look bad too. He said he has to let it roll off his back but JD won't do that. He said JD has to go in a corner and cry about it. The two of them kept going at it until the end of the show. They were done at 11:00am.
Howard started the show singing along to his opening song. Howard said he's obsessed with this Kennedy kid, Connor. Howard said Taylor Swift moved in next door to the kid to be closer to him. Howard wondered how you can relate to the world when that happens. Robin said it is crazy. Howard said it really is. Howard said no one moved close to him. He said everyone fled and left him. Howard said it was awful. Robin said that he'll make her miserable and she'll pay for going after a Kennedy.
Howard said yesterday's show featured the life of Hulk Hogan. Howard said he has a lot of audio clips from around the world. Howard said this first one is from Tampa which is Bubba's home town. In that clip the reporter was talking about Hulk appearing on the Howard Stern Show. Howard cut it off and said that these guys sound like they can't stand talking about the Howard Stern Show. Robin agreed with him on that.
Howard played more of the clip and the reporter was talking about what Hulk was saying about the sex tape and confirming that it was with Bubba the Love Sponge's wife.
Howard said Hulk went over to TMZ yesterday and they told him that at the end of the sex tape a voice comes on and says something like they could use the tape as a retirement fund. He said it was something along those lines and now they're trying to attribute that Bubba was involved and Hulk is saying that he's sick to his stomach. Robin said it sounds like the dialog of a wrestling show. Howard said it really does sound like a soap opera. Robin said she thinks it could all be fake.
Robin said it sounds like they're trying to cover the whole thing up and make a court case out of it. Robin said she thinks that Hulk and Bubba are involved. Howard said ''Wow!'' Robin said that Howard has been lied to by Hulk before. Robin said yesterday they played the clip of Hulk saying that he'd never have sex with Heather. Howard said he has lied about women he's had sex with. Howard said he has had sex with some women and he's lied about it. He said if he was in court he'd tell the truth but not on this show. Robin said Howard is telling her to trust him in that case. Howard said he has lied to protect a woman's honor. He said he's telling the truth now. Robin said that it can ruin things for you if you do that in court. Howard said he has to admit that he has had sex with Joan Rivers, Chyna Doll and James Brown.
Howard said he thinks that everyone lies. Robin said that is true. Robin said she has too. She said when she says it's the absolute truth then she's telling the truth. Robin said that Hulk has lied and lied. Howard said he lied once. Robin said it's more than that. She said that Hulk said that he didn't sleep with Heather and then he said he didn't know there was a camera. Howard said it wasn't Hulk who said that if the tape ever got out. He said that it was Bubba talking to his wife at the end of the tape. Robin said she thought he was saying that Hulk was still there. Howard said Hulk isn't there from what he understands. Robin said she's working on a faulty premise then. She said that's not unusual for her.
Howard said he could call Bubba but he can't talk about it because of his divorce agreement. Howard said he's not saying that this is Bubba who released it. He said that someone could have gotten in and stolen the tape. Howard said he doesn't know for sure what happened.
Robin said they have to wait to see if they turn this over to the authorities. Howard played another clip from The Insider where they were talking about Hulk's appearance. Howard said they always make news with this stuff. Howard said they were all over the news yesterday. Howard said he's going to be critical of the company he works for now. Howard said he finds it amazing that in their marketing plan they don't take advantage of that. Howard said people around the country think he's on radio in New York. He said he's not sure how the company doesn't put commercials on TV saying that Howard Stern is on Sirius XM all over the country. He said if he was watching the news in Tampa and he sees Howard Stern and doesn't know where he is. Howard said he can't believe the lack of marketing. Howard said he is well known and famous enough but he doesn't get why they don't take advantage of that.
Howard said he knows they hate him there because he's suing the company but he doesn't get why they don't market this mother fucker. Robin asked if he was ever marketed on regular radio. Howard said he really wasn't. He said in radio in general they don't believe in advertising even though they're an advertising run business. Robin said it's weird the way the business works. Howard said he thinks that they were afraid that he'd get too big and leave. He said it's really weird to him. Howard said it's really not his business how they run the company but he just finds it baffling and mind boggling.
Howard said he's glad they don't run commercials for him alone because he's famous enough. Howard said that he has the excitement of fame for himself already. He said from a marketing standpoint the average guy in Tampa has no clue that he could buy a radio and be listening to the show.
Robin said they wanted him to go out and market himself. Howard said he has gone on Letterman and stuff like that. Howard said he figured he'd do such a good radio show that he'd be getting noticed in the news and that's what he's been doing. Robin said that when the company has a concert for someone like Bruce Springsteen she's not sure they have a jump in subscriptions. Howard said it's not a bad thing to have concerts. Robin said they're doing thank-yous to the people who are already signed up.
Howard said he's just asking the question since no one there talks to him. Robin said she questions it too. She said it's a little crazy. Howard said he'd like to see the company do well and see the stock price go up. Howard said he had it when it was 6 bucks and it's below 3 bucks now. Howard said it was down to like 16 cents at some point. Howard said he' sitting there with wallpaper essentially. Howard said he's not crowing about it.
Howard got back to the Hulk Hogan audio clips. He played The Insider audio clip and they were talking about Hulk appearing on Howard TV On Demand.
Howard said he did a photo shoot with Gary yesterday and he asked him to wear a sports jacket but he refused. Howard said he was trying to cover up Gary's belly. He said he would have loved it if had worn one yesterday. Gary was wearing one today. Howard said he doesn't get why he can't accept when he suggests something. Gary said he wasn't told to wear one. He said it was a suggestion. Howard said he asked him to bring one for a reason. Gary said he thought the idea was to be comfortable and he didn't know what Howard was going for.
Howard said their agent has been trying to get Gary to wear a jacket for years. He said he looks like a professional today. Howard said Gary is wearing the outfit today that he should have been wearing yesterday. Howard said Gary looks like a college kid in the pictures he took yesterday. Howard said his shirt was wrinkled and he was a mess. He said he looked like a kid in college. Howard said he doesn't want to be a pro. Gary said he does want to be a pro. He said he really doesn't think he has a slovenly appearance.
Howard said Gary is difficult to work with. Howard said he isn't trying to make him look bad. Howard said he asked his assistant to tell him to bring a jacket. Gary ignored it. Howard said he asked Gary to put the jacket on and Gary said he didn't feel comfortable wearing it so he didn't put it on. Howard said he asked him to put it on and Gary didn't do it so he didn't push him into it. Robin said she can't believe this argument.
Howard said Laura wrote Gary an email and asked him to wear a jacket. Gary said she didn't tell him to wear it. He said she told him to bring one. Howard said Laura is equal to him and she asked him to wear it. Howard said Gary is a difficult human being and told him to get out. Then he called him back to argue with him some more.
Gary said he isn't comfortable in a jacket. He said it feels tight on his shoulders even if it's not. He said he would try it if he wanted him to do it but he thought he was trying to get him comfortable.
Robin said the point isn't to be comfortable. Howard said she's right and they were trying to make him look good. Howard said he was trying to make Gary look good yesterday. He said he asked Gary to wear the jacket and Gary said he wasn't comfortable. Gary said Howard asked him to try something and he wasn't comfortable doing it so he didn't do it.
Howard said he didn't want a couple of changes. He said he just wanted him in a jacket. Robin was arguing and Gary told her that she knows nothing about this. Gary said that Howard didn't ask him to bring a number of shirts. Gary said he didn't even know what they were doing exactly. Gary said he guesses that he didn't think about it. Howard said the photo shoot turned into a mess and he ruined a nice day. Gary said he's never heard a photographer yell at his subject like this before. Howard said Gary is busy thinking about Sonos all day. Gary said he's not thinking about Sonos.
Howard said Gary could have just worn the jacket. He said he's so mad at him. Howard said Gary doesn't take direction from his boss and all he's trying to do is make him look good. Howard said Gary must hate him. Gary said today he might a little bit. Gary said he knew that somehow the photo shoot would get him standing there getting yelled at. Howard said he just looked slovenly. He said his shirt was wrinkled. Howard said Gary's outfit yesterday was a 2 and today it's a ''noine.'' Gary said he's done after the 6th Baba Booey song parody started playing.
Howard said this is baffling. Robin said she's never gone to a photo shoot with less than a couple of outfit changes. Robin said she's not sure what they're looking for so she brings extra. Howard said Gary is so defiant about the whole thing.
Howard said he was listening to the Wrap Up Show yesterday and Scott was Arguing with Tim about cleaning up his office. Howard said Scott would be fired from any other place of business. Howard said he's shocked that Tim didn't fire him yesterday. Howard said Scott must think it's his studio or something. Howard said that they will do whatever they want with that studio. Howard said that studio is his studio.
Howard said this is crazy. He said if his boss asked him to bring a jacket he would have brought a jacket. Howard said he won't walk in and say he hates wearing a jacket and tie.
Gary came back in and asked if this was a boss/work thing or something else. Gary asked Howard if he has ever turned down a photo shoot where he isn't comfortable wearing something. Howard said he has. He said Gary didn't tell him that he was uncomfortable in the jacket. Howard said this fucks him up. He said if he's taking a picture of a model and she shows up in a Versache outfit for a JC Penny shoot then it's not going to work. Howard said he wanted Gary to wear a jacket. Howard said Gary could have written him a note saying he didn't want to be in a jacket. Howard said he was trying to make something special for Gary. Gary said now it's not special.
Howard said Gary is angry with him but he thinks he did the right thing. Gary said he doesn't give Howard the right to put out the fat, wrinkled picture. Howard said he owns the picture. He said the guy who took the picture owns it. Gary walked out again a short time later.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who went off on Gary for not listening to him. He said if Howard called him and he asked him to bring a jacket he'd ask what kind of jacket he wanted him to bring. Howard said they told him to bring a sports jacket and a sports shirt. Howard said King is right and he would have brought what he needed. Howard said he likes King's new phone. King said he got an iPhone 4S. Howard said it's clear as a bell. He thanked King for calling and let him go.
Howard said he's had a bad week with Gary. He said he's not sure why he's arguing so much. They played another Baba Booey song parody. Howard said that was a Little Mikey song parody. Howard said he has many voices. Robin said he's expanding.
Robin said Gary argues like that when he knows he's wrong. Howard said he should just trust him on that stuff. He said the shirt he was wearing was so wrinkled. Howard said the picture came out fine but he could have looked that much better.
Howard said he had to get up on a ladder to shoot Gary to make him look slender. Howard said he could have gotten up on the Empire State Building to shoot him and he'd still look bad. Howard said Gary looks terrific in the jacket today. Howard said he loves that he gets yelled at for saying he looks good. Gary said he's yelling because he just said he looks fat and like shit. They played yet another Baba Booey song parody.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that maybe Howard should have given Gary a post-it note asking him to wear the jacket. Howard said Gary did say that he didn't tell him to bring the jacket. The caller also brought up the Hulk sex tape and got them on that subject again.
Howard said he's not sure how much money they think they can make with a Hulk Hogan sex tape. He said he understands the Pam Anderson sex tape. Howard said he really doesn't think Hulk is in on it. Robin said that he said he would have performed better if he knew he was being taped. Howard said he doesn't believe that he would be in on it. He said the whole thing doesn't make sense. He said it's baffling.
Howard said he was going to write to Bubba last night but maybe it's not his place to bring it up. Howard said he doesn't know. He said he and Bubba always talk through email but this time he felt weird writing to him. Howard told Gary to write him one and tell him they want to talk to him about it.
Howard played another report about Hulk's sex tape and the appearance he made on the show yesterday. Howard said he is officially saying there is no way Hulk was in on this thing.
Gary came in and said that he believes that Hulk didn't know he was being taped but that doesn't mean he isn't in on this thing. Robin said he says he's going to turn the tape in to the attorney general. If he does that then he better not be in on it. Robin said they don't have any proof that he has made that call. Howard said he said he was getting ready to turn it in. Robin said Hulk and Bubba could have worked this thing out already. Howard said he doesn't believe that.
Robin and Gary both said they think that Hulk could be in on it. Gary asked Howard who he thinks is his best friend right now. Howard said it was Gary but then changed it to Robin. Gary asked Howard if he would be mad at Robin if he thought she did something like this to him. He said Hulk didn't seem to be mad about the whole thing yesterday. Howard said he doesn't think Hulk was involved. Robin said there are three people involved. Robin asked who turned on the camera. Howard said there could have been four involved. He said that someone could have been out to get something on Bubba and Hulk fell into it.
Robin said that if Bubba had a hidden camera in his house that he didn't know about he'd be going berserk. She said she hasn't heard anything about that. Howard said he doesn't know if he is or not. Howard said he still doesn't think Hulk was involved. Fred agreed with Howard. Robin said she's replaying that whole interview in her head and she thinks it was a performance. Howard said he and Fred say no. Fred said he thinks that the only person who knew it was being taped was Bubba. He said maybe Heather didn't even know it.
Howard asked Benjy for the tie breaker. Howard asked if he thinks Hulk was involved. Benjy said he doesn't know but he was suspicious about the way Hulk was saying that Heather wanted him so much. He said that sounded suspicious to him. He said it sounded like there was some reason they wanted to get Heather. Howard said he just wants a simple answer from Benjy. He said he's turning off his microphone.
Howard had Jason come in to give the tie breaker. Fred said he thinks Hulk has too much to lose with the wrestling thing. Jason came in and said that he didn't believe Hulk yesterday. He said that the TMZ thing also makes it sound like Heather knew that she was being taped. Howard said Robin and Gary are also saying that he was involved and Benjy is saying nothing. Howard said they don't know anything for sure.
Howard took a call from Dominic Barbara who said that Hulk is going to cost Hulk a lot of money. He said it finishes him. He said that he will never be able to advertise with McDonald's or anything like that again. Dominic said that he has a sex tape coming out too. Howard thanked him for the call. Dominic said he's having surgery next week to get some extra skin cut off. He told them to wish him luck.
Benjy said that a newspaper is saying that Hulk filed papers at a police station. He said that could be wrong though. Howard said newspapers get things wrong all the time now. Howard said JD had a clip of a reporter talking about how he and Howie were mortal enemies on America's Got Talent. Howard said she was talking about Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey not getting along. He said that he and Howie were not mortal enemies. Howard said that this is Michelle Turner from Headline News. Howard said this is a credible news organization. Howard said that someone started a rumor about him and Howie. He said he and Howie get along and they only say nice things about each other. Howard played the clip and Michelle was talking about the Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj thing and brought up Simon Cowell not getting along with anyone. Then she said that Howard and Howie Mandel didn't get along.
Howard said he doesn't care about that but they're just not right. Howard asked Jon Leiberman if he's on this story. Jon said he is. He said he has a source who says he has a lot of information about this. He said the source is on the inside and he has a lot of stuff that he hasn't vetted yet. He said that this person knows a lot though. He said they are looking into it.
Jon said they are following it because something just doesn't add up. Jon said there are two issues there. There's the civil issue and the criminal issue. He said what has to happen is that they'd have to go to the police who would take it to the D.A. and then the D.A. would have to charge someone with a crime. He said that Florida is a state where people have to be told they're being filmed.
Howard said that Jon looked like he was wearing mom jeans. Jon said he is not. That led to Howard talking about women in malls who wear jeans like that. Jon said he knew he was going to get shit back in the office about wearing jeans. Howard said it's not a good look for him. Jon said he's going to a baseball game today and he's wearing jeans for that. He said he's a die hard Orioles fan. He said he's going to wear an Orioles shirt to the game today. Howard said he must be out of his mind to do that in New York. He said people are getting beat up at games for stuff like that. Howard said it's like looking for trouble. Jon said it's an outward show of affection for your team. Howard said Jon just wants to be noticed.
Jon said that's what people do at games. Howard said Robin would never wear an Orioles shirt. Robin said no but people should be able to.
Howard asked Jon if he knows if Hulk has filed anything yet. Jon said nothing has been filed. Robin said that TMZ is saying that they filed this morning. Howard said now that they have reported it as a felony then who thinks that Hulk is in on it. Robin said she has to change her vote. Gary said he has to change his too if he's filed. He said he would have to be crazy to lie about it and then file.
Howard let Jon go and said he had to go to break. He said they have Henry Winkler and Mark the Bagger coming in too. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and sang along with the song a little bit. Howard said that show Homeland is driving him nuts. He said he's into it but the terrorist guy, Brody, is a super genius in that he's a traitor but he can alert the terrorists and break into the office of the CIA director and he never gets caught. Howard said every time the guy prays or buries his Koran his daughter catches him. Robin said that his daughter is the one who saved him from blowing himself up. Robin said that he was a staff Sargent and he wasn't more than that in the military. Robin said he took orders. Robin said he's taking good orders from the Taliban. Robin said it bothers her too.
Howard said on HowardStern.com they have that special feature up for someone from the show. He said next week they have one for Hank the Dwarf. Howard played a clip of the tribute they'll have up for him. They had a bunch of great audio clips of Hank in there. Howard laughed a couple of times during the clip.
Howard tried taking a call from a woman in Fall River where Hank was from. Howard didn't hear anyone there so he moved on to Mark the Bagger.
Howard said Mark the Bagger is an old friend of the show. He said we're going to find out that he has a girlfriend. He said that this has been going on for a while. Howard said he thinks he's bringing his girlfriend, Jen, in with him. Howard said he figured he would have had a boyfriend before a girlfriend.
Howard had Mark and Jen come in. Howard said he never thought he'd see the day. Robin said she thinks that he's with an older woman. Howard said that's not right.
Mark told Howard that he found his girlfriend through his manager. They're both 37 years old. Howard said that they need to adjust the microphone on Mark because it's in his nose. He was breathing very heavy. Howard said Will will take care of that.
Howard said he hasn't seen Mark in a long time. Robin asked how long this has been going on. Mark said they've been dating about a month. Howard was still trying to figure out who was breathing so heavy. It was Mark but Howard said he was just going to get through this.
Howard asked Mark what he's been up to. Mark said he did movies with Bam Margera. He said he doesn't hang out with him anymore because his mom put a stop to it. He said his mom didn't like Bam. Howard said he gets that. Mark said he was just acting stupid in Bam's movies. Howard said he has done well by him though. Mark said his mom thinks that he's goofing on him.
Howard asked Jen about being introduced to Mark by the manager so how does she know him. Jen said that she met him at a bar in Collegeville, Pennsylvania. She said that Mark said he wanted to be with her. Howard asked if it was love at first sight. Jen said he is cute and adorable. Howard asked if she was attracted to him sexually right away. Jen laughed. Howard asked what Mark's pick up line was. Mark said he thinks he just said hi. Howard said he admires that. He said you can't screw up with ''hi.'' Howard said Jen is a lovely woman so he imagines that she has been hit on before. Jen said she doesn't even remember that night. Howard asked if she was drinking a lot. Jen just laughed.
Howard asked what Jen and Mark do together. Mark said they go out dancing. Mark said he likes to dance to cover bands who cover Train and Green Day and stuff. Robin asked if he would dance for them if they play some music. Mark said he would do that. Fred found some Green Day and Mark got up and danced. Howard told him to sit down after about 2 seconds.
Howard asked Jen if she likes the way things are going so far. Jen said she is. Howard asked if anything annoys her about him yet. Jen said everything he does is cute. Mark said nothing annoys him about her either.
Howard asked Jen if she lives with her mom. Jen said she lives with her sister. Howard said Mark lives with his mom and pays her $600. Mark said he makes about $1,000 a month. He said most of his money is going to rent.
Howard asked what he's doing for work. Mark said he works at a casino as a dishwasher. Howard asked if he wanted to be known as Mark the Dishwasher. Mark said that Mark the Bagger is fine.
Robin asked Jen if she had to make the first move on Mark. Jen said she did. Howard asked Mark what's wrong with him. He asked if Mark said he needed her and then action happened. Mark said they banged on the first date. Howard asked Jen how it was for her. Jen said that it was good. Howard asked if she had anything to compare him to. Jen said she has had other guys. Howard asked if he was reasonably good. Jen said he was good.
Robin asked who started it. She asked if Mark reached over and planted one on her. She said that it was Mark who started. Howard asked Mark if he wore a condom. Mark said no. Robin gasped. Howard asked Jen if she's worried about getting pregnant. Jen said she is. Howard asked if Mark pulled out at least. They didn't answer.
Mark said he had a vasectomy. Howard asked who got him that. Mark said it was mutual. He said he and his smother agreed on that. Howard said that Mark isn't the type to take care of kids.
Howard said Mark is working and now he has a relationship. He asked if he wants to move out with Jen. Mark said he would like to move out within 3 years. Howard asked Jen if she works. Jen said she works with her sister. She said she's a busser. Howard asked if she's in for the 3 year plan. Jen said that's good. She said they're just taking it one day at a time. Howard said that's the way to do it, especially with Mark.
Howard asked Mark what his goals are. Mark said he heard that Howard is retiring in December. Howard said that's not true but he's wondering what that has to do with him. Mark said he wants to get his own TV show or radio show. Mark said he would like Howard's show when he leaves. Howard said he doesn't need him to leave to get his own show.
Howard asked Mark if he has been honest with Jen. Mark said ''yes'' over and over to Howard's questions. Howard asked Jen if she has heard the stories about Mark being with men. She said she has. Howard said that Jen is his exclusively now. Howard asked Jen if she is with him exclusively. Both of them said they are exclusive.
Howard asked Mark if he has any desire for men. Mark said no to that. Howard asked Jen if she's ever gotten it on with another woman. Jen said she has kissed one and it was okay. Howard asked Jen if Mark asked if he could have another woman in the bed, would she be open to it. Jen said ''maybe.'' Howard asked Mark if that's something he desires. Mark said yes.
Howard asked Mark how often they have sex. Mark said they do it on weekends. He said during the week he works. Howard asked Mark where they do it. Mark said ''wherever.'' Howard said it must be tough if Jen lives with her sister. Jen just laughed. Howard asked Mark if he has done it at his house with his mom home. Mark said he has done it there. Howard asked if his mom hears it. Mark said yes. Howard asked if his mom says anything about it. Mark said that she doesn't really mind. Howard said they are two adults and they need an outlet. Howard asked if Jen has orgasms. She said she does. Howard asked if Mark is big and hard to fit inside. Jen said it's not the size that matters, it's how you use it. Howard asked if he's not that big. She said he's not. Howard asked Mark if he feels inadequate. Mark said he doesn't.
Howard said they have been talking about Hulk Hogan and his sex tape. He asked if Jen and Mark would do that. Mark said no. Jen said she would never. Howard said she hesitated. Jen said she would make one but not put it out there. Howard asked Mark if he would tape it. Mark said maybe down the road he would.
Howard asked what the weirdest thing they've done together is. Mark tried to think of something. Howard asked if they have done anal. Mark said they have. Howard asked Jen if he's good at that. Jen said he is good. Mark said he gives it to her and she gives it to him. He meant that she goes down on him. He didn't mean that she gives him anal. Howard asked if she'd stick a finger in his ass. Jen said no.
Howard said he has a game to play. He said he has $500 and he's going to ask them Newlywed type questions. Howard said they'll find out how much they know each other. Howard said if they get 3 right he'll give them the $500 from Steven Singer Jewelers.
Howard said he's going to have Jen leave the room and he'll ask Mark 5 questions. He said they'll see if she can match 3 of the 5 answers. Howard had the guys bring Jen out. They put her in Robin's booth.
Howard asked Mark when Jen's birthday is. Mark didn't know. Howard said he had better know it. Mark said he thinks it's in August. Howard said he'll leave it at August.
Howard asked Mark who Jen will say she will vote for in the election. mark said he guesses Obama. Howard asked what her grossest habit is. Mark said her snoring. Howard asked Mark what he would change about Jen if he could change one thing. Mark said he would change her snoring. Howard disqualified that one. He asked how many times a day she will say she takes a shit. Mark said maybe twice. Howard asked Mark what she'll say is her favorite sexual position. Mark said ''In the clit.'' Howard asked if it would be doggy or missionary or 69. Mark said she likes to be on all fours. Howard asked where Jen will say she likes him to put his jizz. Mark said in her mouth. Howard asked if she could have sex with someone other than him, who would it be. Mark said he doesn't know that one. Howard asked what her favorite restaurant is. Mark picked Olive Garden.
Howard said it looks like there is smoke coming out of his head. Robin asked if he's even taken her out to a restaurant. Mark said no. Howard told Mark not to give the answers during this part of the game.
Howard had the guys bring Jen back in. He told Jen they can win $500. Howard asked Jen who she thinks Mark will say was their favorite restaurant. Jen said that she would say Applebees. Howard asked if she's sure about that. She said she was. Howard said she's wrong. It was Olive Garden. Howard said he hasn't even taken her to a restaurant yet.
Howard asked Jen what she thinks Mark said is her birthday. She said it's august 23, 1975. Mark said it was August so they gave that one to them.
Howard asked Jen what her grossest habit is according to Mark. Jen said it's her smoking. Howard said she was wrong on that one.
Howard asked Jen where Mark prefers to ejaculate on her. Jen said on her stomach. Howard said Mark said in her mouth. Jen laughed. Howard asked if he was right on that one. Jen said ''sure.'' Howard said Mark is an animal.
Howard asked Jen what Mark will say is her favorite sexual position. Jen said doggy style. Howard said she's right on that one.
Howard said he's never seen Mark so nervous. He asked Jen how many times she thinks Mark said that she shits per day. Jen didn't know. Howard said it was twice.
Howard asked Jen who Mark said she will vote for. She said Obama and got another one right. Howard gave them the $500. Howard said that they should go out to eat at Applebees. Mark said they will. Howard asked Jen what her favorite thing to eat is. Mark said it's shrimp or steak and Jen said that's right. Howard said he wishes the two of them luck.
Howard asked Mark if he wants to marry Jen. Mark said he's not ready for it yet. Mark told Howard that he saw that The Fonz is coming in next. He sang the theme song for ''Happy Days'' for Howard. Howard said he should have tried out for America's Got Talent with that voice. Jen said she thinks that his voice is sexy. Howard said he definitely found the right woman. Howard asked Mark if he's good with lyrics. Mark said he is. He said he knows ''Don't Stop Believing'' and other song. Howard had him sing some of that. Mark got the words wrong but he said it was something like that. Robin was cracking up.
Howard wrapped up with them and told them to take it easy. Mark said he was thinking that if they were still around he could throw out the first pitch at the Yankee game. Howard said he doesn't need him for that. Howard wished them luck and went to break.
Howard came back and said that Henry Winkler (@hwinkler4real) played The Fonz on Happy Days. He said he had a successful run on that. Howard said he's not sure what he's worth. He has to ask about that. Howard said that Henry is there now. Howard asked if it bothers him that people still call him the Fonz. Henry said it doesn't bother him.
Howard asked Henry if he met Mark the Bagger out there. Henry said he did. He said Mark was very touched to get to say hello to him.
Henry said that he's living the life of ''You better be careful what you wish for.'' Henry said that he has a movie opening on Friday called ''Here Comes the Boom.'' Howard said he thought that he was living the life because he was there on the show. Henry said he hasn't been there for 10 years now. Henry told Howard that a month from now he's going to be opening in a Broadway play called ''The Performers.''
Howard said Henry has dyslexia and he figured that it must be like doing acid because he had the letters closing in when he took acid. Henry said he wouldn't know. He said he never did acid.
Howard said Henry's parents thought he was an idiot and they even called him a dumb dog in German. Henry said they thought he was dumb but it turns out it was dyslexia. Howard said Henry got tears in his eyes when he told him that. Henry said it wasn't a light way to grow up. He said it makes you be a different kind of parent. Howard asked if he's a good parent. Henry said he'd have to ask his kids but he thinks that he was different. Howard asked how he was different. Henry said he didn't want to be like them. He said you hear your parents coming off the tip of your tongue and you start over again. Henry said he just wanted to be a different kind of parent.
Howard asked Henry if he was afraid he'd be like his parents. Henry said he wasn't sure if he could be a parent. He said he just knew he was going to get it right but then you never do get it right no matter how you try. Howard asked if his parents are still alive. henry said they are not. He said they died in 1997-1998. He said that his parents wanted him to buy and sell wood for a living. they didn't want him to be an actor. Henry said he wanted to be an actor and he lived it. He said he talked and walked it.
Howard asked if Henry had resentment toward his parents. Henry said it was dump truck big. He said he tried to explain to his parents about what he was trying to do. He said his dad didn't want to hear it so he just shut down. Howard asked if he had a time when he didn't talk to them. Henry said he forgot that he had parents for a while.
Howard asked if he was mad at his mother for not stepping in and stopping his father from doing what he did. Henry said she was in cahoots so, no. Howard asked about the dyslexia thing and if his father had it since they say that it is a genetic thing. Henry said he doesn't think his dad had it because he spoke 11 languages.
Howard asked Henry what he did about it. Henry said that he went to Emerson College. He said that he had to audition to get in and he did a modern speech that he doesn't remember.
Howard asked Henry how he got in if he had this dyslexia. Henry said he had to read scripts over and over again. Howard asked how slowly he reads. Henry said he reads one word at a time. He said he's 67 now. Howard sounded shocked that he was that old. Henry said that's actually coming up on the 30th. Howard asked if his parents got him gifts as a kid. Henry said they did but it was always something practical.
Howard asked if it was the ultimate fuck you to his parents when he got on Happy Days. Henry said that they wanted credit for co-producing Henry Winkler. Howard asked if he told them to stop it and get out of his life. Henry said he was having kids around that time so he was trying to be nice to them.
Henry said that his daughter Zoe was about 3 and his father got frustrated with her and slapped him in the face. Henry said she slapped him back and he left it at that. He said he did tell his father not to do that again because they don't do that in his house. Henry said they were his parents so he did want some kind of relationship with them. He said he did owe them a lot for his education and travel.
Howard said they could have had a beautiful relationship. Henry said that he mourns the relationship that other people have with their parents. Henry said that his father would tell him when to go for a walk and not let him finish what he was doing. He said his father and mother were very lucky to get out of Germany in 1939. They were German Jews. Henry said that his father got a visa for 6 weeks to come to America. He said his father got a box of chocolates and got some jewelry and melted the chocolate to cover the jewelry. He came to America and sold the Jewelry to give himself the key to living there in America.
Howard asked Henry if he resents that character The Fonz. Henry said that he doesn't at all. Howard said it could have held him back. Henry said that it held him back for 8 years but then he started to produce and he did just fine. Howard asked if he's a wealthy guy. Henry said he's not now that he has a daughter. Howard asked if he has to work. Henry said he has to work because he has a nut. He said he has bills to pay so he has to do that. Howard asked if he got a big pay day being Fonzie. Henry said that there were a few hundred guys in the room when he auditioned. He said he had 6 lines in the first show. Henry said he was doing theater before that.
Howard asked Henry about not reading a book until he was 30 years old. Henry said now he's writing books for kids. He said they have sold millions of books but there isn't a lot of money in that. Henry said that they are developing a TV show around one of the characters he created. Henry said that the character Henry Zinser is him. He said that he has kids who write to him and they ask how he knew them so well.
Henry said he wrote a book about fishing (I've Never Met an Idiot on the River: Reflections on Family, Fishing, and Photography) because he loves trout fishing. He said he throws them back when he catches them. Henry said he has never eaten one. Howard said they die shortly after he puts them back in. Henry said they do not. Howard said he went fishing for a while but he found out they die. Henry said he never holds them for more than a minute. Henry has to give up fishing if that's true. Henry said that he will never give up acting though.
Henry said that his parents would give out his number to people who knew him from TV. He said that he had to tell his mom not to give his number away. He said he was going to rip the phone out of the wall. Howard asked Henry about the abuse and how long he had to put up with that. Henry said it was about 8 years. He said that he let his kids say anything to him as long as it wasn't so rude it would make him cry. Henry said that his kids were very clear on what they wanted and why they thought they should have it.
Howard said he thinks it's great that he let his daughter hit his father. Howard asked if his parents were physically abusive. Henry said they were just mentally abusive.
Howard said he was asking about money because he figured that when Happy Days went to number one that he got a big payday. Henry said that his manager told him to stay home for a day to renegotiate. He said that he did that and it changed his life.
Howard said that Henry testified at the John Ritter trial. Henry said that he and John were very close and he testified about the wrongful death case. Henry said he was on the set of the show the day John was sick. He said John said he was feeling sick and he went to get a glass of water. He said he never saw John again. He said that he got the call that night about how they had lost John. He said they treated him for a heart attack and he had a tear in his aorta. Howard said he doesn't know much about medicine but a doctor can't always tell. Robin said they have tests. Howard said they do but was it incompetence. Henry said he felt he had to help the Ritter's in any way he could. He said he doesn't think they won the case. He said that he misses John every day. He said John would say the same joke every day and it was funny every time. He said that he was limitless.
Howard asked Henry about renegotiating his contract. Henry said he got a great contract and got paid very well. He said everyone eventually got money out of the show. He said that Don Most really went at them because he wanted everyone to get paid.
Howard asked Henry about Erin Moran and if they are able to get through to her. henry said he's not even sure where she is now. He said that she has greatness in her and he hopes that she can go on. He said that he's known her since she was 9. Howard said Henry got upset when he brought her up. Howard asked what went wrong there. Henry said he doesn't have the answer to that. Howard asked if she is in hiding from them. Henry said he doesn't have the answer to that. Howard asked if Scott Baio gets together with him. Henry said that they do get together once in a while. Henry said just before he left he spoke to Don and Anson. He said he tweets with Scott and Ron. He said he keeps in touch with Marion too. Howard asked if he went to Tom Bosley's funeral. Henry said he was working in Europe at the time so he wasn't able to go. He said he felt bad about that.
Howard asked Henry if he likes everyone. Henry said he does dislike some people. He won't talk about that though. Howard asked why he doesn't like this one guy that he is known for disliking. Henry said he doesn't like being disrespected. He said he is having a great life himself and he hopes the other person lives in health and that's it.
Henry said that he's in a wonderful movie called ''Here Comes the Boom'' and it comes out on Friday. Howard asked if this is a come back. Henry said he's not looking at it this way. Howard said Henry took 10 years off after Happy Days. Henry said he didn't do that on purpose. Howard said he produced MacGyver. Henry said that they did find the show and sold it. He said that they pitched it as a shortcut guy. Henry said when no other agency works then you go with MacGyver. Howard asked how many places they pitched it to. Henry said they went to ABC and they bought it. The show was on for 7 seasons and 144 shows. Howard asked if he got a big part of the money. Henry said the lion's share goes to Paramount and ABC. He said they made money but that was 30 years ago. Henry said that didn't set him for life. Howard said people have the impression that it does.
Howard asked Henry about doing a Fonzie show after Happy days was over. Henry said that he just wanted to work after the show. He said that the hardest part was that he had this push since he was 7 of wanting something. Then it dripped out of his body when Happy Days was over. He said he was rudderless. He said he loved playing Fonzie and he still loves it. Henry said he didn't have a direction after the show. Howard asked if he wanted to walk away from acting. Henry said he just tried to let it come. He said his lawyer told him that he would produce. He said he told him he trusted that he would learn how to do it. Henry said he did Sightings that was on for 7 years.
Howard asked if he produced Hollywood Squares. Henry said he did that for 2 years. He said that was one of the greatest jobs he had.
Howard asked Henry about going to autograph signings where he gets paid. Howard asked if he likes doing that kind of thing. Henry said he loves doing it because he gets to meet people he would never meet. He said he has a guy who helps him out with taking the money and stuff. Howard said he does it all. He does books, plays and movies.
Howard gave Henry a plug for his movie and for the upcoming play ''The Performers.'' Henry said he has done other plays. Howard asked if people still like theater. Henry said that they love it. Howard said he thinks the art form is dying. Henry said no. Howard said you can enter to win a chance to win tickets to the play by following the play at @PerformersBway
Howard asked henry what the play is about. Henry said that he plays a porn star in the play. Howard asked if he has a big cock in the play. Henry wasn't sure about that. Howard asked he doesn't curse. Henry said he actually loves the word ''fuck.''
Howard asked Henry about getting married when he was on Happy Days. He's been married for 34 years. Howard asked if he has cheated. Henry said no. Howard said he sensed a bit of a hesitation there. Henry said there was no hesitation.
Howard asked Henry if everything works at 67. Henry said that it works. He said that the sex drive changes over time but it comes and goes. Howard asked if he fantasizes about other women. Henry said he hasn't watched porn. Howard asked if he watched porn for the play. Henry said he would have watched porn and he had to find out what ''Best Gaping'' was. He said the director didn't want to show them what it was because you can never go back once you've seen it. He said that it's what you can fit in an orifice that's behind you. Howard said it sounds like fisting. JD came in and told Howard that gaping is when you have your asshole wide open and you put stuff in there. JD said he isn't a fan. Henry thanked JD for explaining it and shook his hand. He asked if that hand had been in that gaping thing. JD said it has not.
Howard asked Henry if he has masturbated. Henry said he has. Howard said he has cut back on his lately. Howard asked if it's liberating to not have that sex drive he had when he was younger. Henry said that he wouldn't call it liberating. Howard asked if he ever thought back on not having more women. Henry said that you never know why the women are using you. He said there were periods of time before he was married that were very inventive. Howard asked if he had a threesome. Henry said he never had that. He said he doesn't think they work because one of the people is going to be angry. Howard asked when he did the Fonzie voice for the last time. Henry said maybe a few days ago. Henry said he'll talk to him that way now. Henry did his Fonzie voice for him.
Howard said Henry turned down the role in Grease and Travolta got it. Howard said henry once said that Travolta bought a plane and he was sitting home drinking Perrier. Henry said if he had known back then what he knows now he would have done that movie.
Howard asked Henry why he disliked Pinky Tuscadero on Happy Days. Henry said he didn't like her as a human being. He said that he did like Leather Tuscadero. Henry said he didn't want her to get fired or anything so he never said anything to anyone.
Howard asked Henry about producing Hollywood Squares and what went on with that. Henry told Howard about some of the people they had on the show and mentioned that Gary came on once.
Howard asked Henry what Pinky did to him. Henry said that she had red hair and she wasn't prepared for the show. Henry said that Ron Howard left the show and he never thought he would have the connection he had with Ron. He said Scott Baio came in and stepped up to the plate and hit a home run. He said he made him feel good and they had a lot of fun. He said that people had to work too hard with Pinky.
Gary came in and asked if Henry was fired from the movie Turner and Hooch. Henry said he was. He was the director and he was fired 13 days in. Gary asked if it had to do with Tom Hanks. Henry said he was asked to leave the movie after 13 days. Howard asked if he hates Tom Hanks. Henry said no. Howard asked if he thought the movie Turner and Hooch was a good movie. Henry said he doesn't think he ever saw it. Henry said he was very sad that they let him go. He said they only said that ''it was not on the screen.'' He said that's all they told him. He said that they never told him that Tom said anything. He said they still had to pay him for the movie but no amount of money can help in a situation like that. Henry said he called his wife and it was hard to speak language to her. Howard asked if he thought everyone knew he was fired from the movie. Henry said it felt like he was wearing a sign on his back. Henry said it's very rough on you. He said you fear that you will never work again. Henry said that comes with just about everything.
Howard asked who replaced him on Turner and Hooch. Henry said it was an English guy. He said that he likes Tom Hanks and that's not the guy he's talking about. Howard asked if he likes Tom. Henry said he does. He said he loved the dog though.
Henry told Howard about getting fired as an actor when he was young. He said that he was afraid that his career was over. He said that if you will it then it's not a dream. He said that acting job was his first job. Howard said he was so bad as a DJ that he didn't get paid at his first job. Howard said his father called him a moron for wanting to be a radio guy. Howard said he kept going though.
Henry said that theme is the theme of the movie ''Here Comes the Boom.'' Howard asked what happens in the play where he plays the porn star. Henry told Howard more about the play and then Howard gave him some plugs for the movie. Henry said that anyone can see the movie and he promises that people will cheer at the end of the movie. Howard gave him some plugs for his play too.
Howard said Henry hates motorcycles. Henry said he does. He said he doesn't trust them with him. He said he's so dyslexic that he doesn't trust working them.
Henry got in another plug for ''Here Comes the Boom'' and said that people will laugh a lot, cry a little and they will cheer at the end. Henry said that he's done a lot of movies with Adam Sandler. Howard asked if he was a fan of his from the Happy Days days. Henry said he was.
Howard said Henry has said that he's met a few geniuses in his life. He said that Garry Marshall was one of them. Howard said he really is a great guy. Henry said that Adam Sandler is another genius. He said the man is in charge of every detail of every movie he makes. Henry said the third one is Mitch Hurwitz. Howard asked if that's his rabbi. Henry said in a way he is. Henry said Mitch is the creator of Arrested Development. He said they just shot the new episodes for Netflix that will be on next spring.
Howard asked if he's worth $35 million. Henry said he's worth less. Robin asked where Ron Howard is on that list. Henry said Ron Howard has made a lot of great movies and they're worth billions.
Howard said it was great talking to Henry. He asked if he had to audition for that movie. Henry said that he was out on the street talking to Kevin James and later that day he got a call from Kevin. Kevin asked him to be in the movie and he said okay. He said it was that easy to get in the movie.
Howard took a call from Jeff the Drunk who said he wanted to ask about Erin Moran but they already did that. Howard said like Erin no one can straighten Jeff out. Howard said you really can't change someone's life unless they want to change. Henry said you can't lead someone to the water unless they are really thirsty. He said he feels very sad about Erin. Howard said he tears up whenever he mentions Erin. Henry said that she was like his daughter. He said they gave Erin her first bike. Howard started to sing to Henry about Erin after Fred played some piano music.
Howard tried to figure out who Henry hated. Howard threw out names like George Clooney and some others. Howard said that he thinks it's Tom Hanks. Henry said it's not. Howard kept saying it has to be him. Howard said that Henry has said enough. Howard said he's opened his mouth enough. Howard wished Henry luck with the movie and the play. They wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
After the break we heard a Jack and Rod Show bit where Sal and Richard had an author pretending to be Al Pacino. Fred also played Sting ''If You Love Somebody Set Them Free'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and said that it was time for news but Jon Leiberman says he has an exclusive about the Hulk Hogan thing. Jon came in and said they have a world exclusive. Jon said that there will be no criminal charges involving the sex tape. Jon said that Hulks attorney did not file charges. He said that he spoke to the Clearwater police department and they said that it would have been filed in St. Petersburg if it was filed anywhere. Jon said he called them and found out that they had conferenced in some people and they are saying that no criminal prosecution will take place. Jon said Hulks attorney contacted the policies to find out if they had a case. The police and the state's attorney say no. Jon said that means no crime took place and nothing in the criminal realm was involved. Jon said that could mean that after it was taped maybe Hulk found out and was complicit to that. Robin said ''Ah ha!''
Jon said there is no police report and no criminal charges will come out of this. Howard said he doesn't know what that means. Jon said it means that no crime took place with Hulk being taped. He either knew at the time or he knew after the tape was made that he was on tape. Howard thanked Jon for that update. He said he appeared to be turned on by this. Jon said this is the stuff he loves. He said he was a crime reporter for years and he loves this stuff. Howard said he loves to see how on fire he is. Jon said when he got off the phone with his source and the source pointed out what was wrong with the Clearwater thing then he went on the hunt.
Jon said he's off to change his pants now. He said Gary told him about some jeans he might want to try. He said people are giving him a hard time about the jeans. Howard asked if Jon likes his crime beat or Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind. Jon asked if he's talking about when he's drunk.
Ronnie came in and said that he used to come to work like Jon and Howard would give him a hard time. Howard said he doesn't have a dress code for the news team. Ronnie said he doesn't understand why he doesn't have to wear a suit. He said he's a reporter and he should dress like one. Jon said he wears a tie every day. Jon said he doesn't want Ronnie commenting on his dress. Howard said when you see a driver with jeans on it doesn't look good. Jon said he wears a suit to work every day and wears a tie. He said Ronnie never wears a tie. Jon said this isn't the time for this.
Ronnie said Jon is on fire with the story. He said he's very loud and the whole building heard him. Jon said that everyone takes TMZ's word on this stuff as gospel but they're not right on this. He said that they are legitimate reporters there at Howard 100 News.
Robin said that she was going to read a story about the case and they say the police are investigating. Jon said the case is closed so that won't happen.
Howard said Shuli dresses like a homeless person and Ronnie doesn't say a word about his clothes. Howard said he thinks after yesterday's show that Ronnie will be married. Robin said Ronnie really studies Howard and knows the facts of his life. Robin said he's living them out like they're the rules of life. Howard said Ronnie does study what he does. Howard said he knew that Ronnie would get divorced after he got divorced. Robin said that Ronnie lives his life the way Howard does. She said it's amazing. Robin said it doesn't scare Howard and that's amazing too.
Howard said he got some notes about trout and sending them back into the water after you catch them. Howard said they do say that you kill them even if you throw them back.
Howard said he heard that Olivia Wilde was talking about her sex life and how she felt that her vagina had died after 8 years with a prince. Howard asked Robin if her vagina dies. Robin said that she doesn't relate to that statement. Robin said her vagina hasn't died. Howard said he thinks that Sal's wife's vagina is on a respirator with a Do Not Resuscitate order on it.
Robin got into her news and read about the Hulk Hogan case. She had some audio of Hulk talking about the tape on another show. Howard took a call from Hanzi who said that he was saying that Hulk was lying yesterday. Hanzi said that these fake stories are things that are things to distract us from the real stuff that's going on out there. Howard said we enjoy the world of celebrity and the world of scandal. He said you don't have to ignore the other things going on. Howard said he knows the theory that Hanzi has about the one world government. Hanzi was about to explain more about that but Howard said he has to go. Hanzi said he wanted to make another point. Howard told him to hurry the fuck up. Hanzi said what he was going to say is that the election fix is in and Obama is going to be the last President of the United States. Howard let him go after that.
Robin had some more Hulk audio clips and Hulk talked about why he's going to be voting for Romney.
Robin said the first HIV home test is now available. Robin said the test gives the result in 20-40 minutes. Howard said that's the longest 40 minutes of your life. Robin said that they say it's a break through in the testing for HIV. Robin said that Magic Johnson is speaking out about this test. Robin had some audio of Magic talking about the testing and why people should give it a try. Howard said Magic seems to be doing just fine in his life. Robin said Magic also talked about how hard it was to tell his wife. She had audio of that too. Howard said he would want to take the test alone. He said he wouldn't want a support system there. Howard said he'd just watch TV waiting for the results. Howard said maybe he'd FaceTime with someone. Howard said he was on FaceTime with Gary last night and he made him wear his beekeeper's mask. Howard said he was on with Beth the other night and he saw his own face and wondered why he would want Beth to see his face. Robin said she was on Skype and wondering the same thing about herself.
Robin read a story about a stay of execution for this guy in Texas who is accused of killing a young girl and stashing the body behind a chair in his home. Robin said they don't say why he had a stay of execution. Robin said it's not a question about whether he did it or not.
Robin read about a list of Sexiest Women that she had. Robin asked who Howard thinks is on that list. Howard said that he would choose Stacy Keibler. Howard said she looked great in that dress the other day. Howard asked Fred who it is. Fred said that his wife is his. Howard said he's not sure who it is. Howard said maybe that Bar Rafaeli chick. Howard said Avril Levigne and Gwen Stefani. Fred said Scarlett Johansson used to be hot but she's made some bad choices in men. She was with Ryan Reynolds and now Sean Penn. Robin said Mila Kunis is on the top of the list right now. Howard said he thinks that sometimes there are hotter chicks around Hollywood who don't even act. He said some of the waitresses and other people are hotter. Howard said he thinks the sexiest woman is Maria Menounos or maybe Heather Clem.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the trout fishing thing is wrong. He said that they can live. He said he fishes in Pennsylvania and they have hundreds of catch and release areas where you must release them. Howard said they swim for about an hour and then they die. The caller said he knows because he has worked with the fish commission and they don't die. He said that they have very clear water there and the fish do not die. Howard asked who the sexiest woman alive is if he's such an expert. The caller said his wife.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Sofia Vergara is hot. Howard said he's not into the big ass thing. He said he couldn't handle Charro.
The caller said he ran into High Pitch Eric outside AGT one night this summer and Eric was the biggest jerk. He said that he wouldn't talk to him and wouldn't take a picture with him. He said he wishes he had called in the day he was on the show. Howard let him go a short time later.
Robin asked Howard if he knows what Limewire is. Howard said he doesn't know that. Robin said it's a file sharing site and Disney and other movie studios want to sue the site and have it shut down because of piracy. Robin read the details of the story and they have already paid $105 million in damages for other things. Howard said he's all for shutting these places down. He said they're going to kill the movie industry.
Robin read about how this woman Samantha Geimer has come out to talk about what happened with Roman Polanski. Robin said that the book will be out next fall. Robin said that she's going to share her story without rage.
Howard said he's so annoyed with Apple changing the charger jack on the new iPhone. Howard said he didn't have the new charger when he went to charge his phone. Robin said that everyone is going to have to retool for the charger. Howard said it's a pain in the ass. Howard went into a live commercial and then a break after that.
After the break, around 10:00am, Howard came back and had Robin get to some more news. Robin said she has a story about Taylor Swift and the Star is reporting that Taylor may have made out with Patrick Schwarzenegger at a party she was at. Robin said she may have cheated on Connor. Howard said that's a hot story so he chooses to believe it. Howard said the hotter thing would be if the Mexican Schwarzenegger got to her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that if you include voices in the sexiest woman then Robin would win it. The caller made some accusations about Hulk Hogan and Howard didn't like that so he hung up on the guy.
Robin said that penis size does matter but not in the way Howard might think. Robin said women who have vaginal orgasms are more likely to say they climax more easily with men with larger penises. Robin said that larger members are preferred if the woman is more into vaginal sex. Robin said if they're into oral then it may not matter. Robin said you don't have to worry so much about it.
Robin said that balloon daredevil didn't get off the ground yesterday. Robin said she's not sure who is paying for all of this either. Robin said they say the weather conditions made them postpone the event.
Robin read about Jerry Sandusky and how he'll be spending a lot of time in prison. Some think he'll be in there the rest of his life. Robin said he was given 30-60 years behind bars for molesting boys.
Robin read about Stacy Dash giving an endorsement to Mitt Romney on Twitter. She got a lot of backlash from that. Robin said that she was on Piers Morgan talking about that last night. Robin had some audio for Howard to play. Howard said Stacy shouldn't be surprised when she gets negative comments on Twitter. Robin read some of the responses she got and said that Stacy did get some positive feedback from Paul Ryan. Robin said that they called her brave. Howard said that's because she's the only black chick voting for Romney. Howard went into a live commercial after that.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about a rally for Mitt Romney. Robin had some audio of Romney speaking at that event. Robin said he's making a lot of promises to balance the budget, solve the energy crisis and cut taxes on small businesses. Robin said if he's going to do that she might have to vote for him.
Robin read about a missing 10 year old Colorado girl. Robin had some audio of the mother talking about her daughter's disappearance. Howard asked if they have found anything yet. Robin said they found her backpack somewhere but haven't found the girl. Robin had some audio of the father talking about how he wants to find her and get her back home. Howard said that's what you should sound like when your child is missing. He said Casey Anthony didn't sound like that.
Robin read some news about Pete Townsend and that led to Gary saying that he didn't bother asking him to come on the show because he figured he was mad at them for the last interview when he walked off. Robin had some audio of Pete talking to Jimmy Fallon.
Robin read about the movie ''Here Comes the Boom'' and had some audio of Kevin James talking about that. Howard asked if they really want to hear that. Robin said she was just helping Henry out. Robin had some audio of Salma Hayak talking too but Howard cut that one short too. Howard said she sounds so serious in that clip. He played more of it and did an impression of her talking. Howard goofed on her about some of the stuff she was talking about in the clip too.
Robin read about it being SIDS awareness month. Robin said that Spike Lee's wife is part of a campaign to make people aware of this problem. Robin had some audio clips of her speaking about that.
Howard took a call from a guy who suggested Charlize Theron for the sexy chick list. Howard said he saw her in Snow White and the Huntsmen and he liked it. Howard said he wishes that she would have learned karate or something though. Howard said he did like the movie. Howard said it kept him from thinking terrible thoughts for 2 hours. Howard said that's how he judges a movie. Howard said he'll go with that.
The caller asked if Howard's parents have a political show in them. Howard said he's not sure. He said he can't judge what they're up for. Howard said he thinks they'd do it if he asks them to but then they'll say they will do it if he wants them to but they don't really want to do it. Howard said he's not going to ask. He said he won't get them on the phone because it's too aggravating. Howard said he could tell them that they'll put an ISDN line in the house but they won't know what that is. He said they won't want to be bothered with this kind of thing. Howard said he would love for them to do it but he can't work it out. Howard said maybe next week he'll ask them about doing it.
Robin said that Paula Abdul is going to sit in on Dancing with the Stars for one show as a judge. Howard said he thinks he's done with that show. He said he hasn't been watching so maybe he's finally growing up. Robin finished her news and Howard ended the show around 10:25am.
Jon asked what's going on with everyone wearing sports jackets to work. Jon asked if he's got a new dress code going on. Tim said Jon Leiberman really threw things off with his jeans. Jon said he's been muttering about his jeans and Howard getting on him about it. Tim said Jon is very professional and he respects the place as a place of business. He said he admires that he takes it seriously and that's why he's as good as he is.
Jon asked Tim who he thinks needs to change their dress code. Tim said they work very long there and they should be presenting themselves in a very professional way. He said that you want to be comfortable though. He said that everyone puts in very long days and does 10-12 hours. Tim said it's a very casual business. Tim said he always wore a suit and tie and he respects the business they're in so that's why he does that.
Tim said that some people don't feel good in shirt and tie. He said certain places require that though. Jon asked if he and Scott are okay. Tim said Scott has to learn that he can't act the way he did yesterday. Jon had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said he had to wait around for a little bit while he did some technical stuff. Gary said Howard was very quick with the shots and he didn't take long. He said Howard told him his teacher told him to just get the shot and you're done. He said he didn't know what the shoot was supposed to be about so he was kind of shocked about the whole thing. Gary said he told his wife what he was doing and she asked if they were playing a practical joke about it.
Gary said that Howard told him that this was about a blog he wrote. He said he wished he had done it different but he's that way whenever Howard yells at him about something.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he feels that Gary is constantly telling people to follow what the boss is saying but then Gary doesn't do that himself. Gary said he doesn't know what other situations he's talking about but this really wasn't work related. The caller asked how it's not work related if he's at work. Gary said Howard was done for the day and he just said that he wanted to take a picture of him. The caller said Gary was at work and he was in the building. Gary said their work is over. The caller said Gary says that all the time. Gary asked what time the caller starts work. The caller said it's different. He said they do lots of stuff at different times. Gary said it was after their hours. The caller said if his boss asked him to wear a sport coat and he didn't wear it then he'd have to take the beating that he took.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that last caller should be in the booth with Robin. He said he doesn't know what's really going on there. Gary said Robin was going off on him for not bringing more shirts.
Jon asked Jon Leiberman about his mom jeans. Leiberman said that he had a conversation with his girlfriend last night about this. Ronnie said the game isn't until 8 o'clock. Leiberman asked if he has to interject every time. Ronnie said he does with him.
Gary said that he suggested to Leiberman that he try these Lucky jeans that he has. He said that he told Jon that maybe he should try something that he's not usually getting. Gary said Leiberman went off on him when he told him he doesn't make the kind of money he makes and he can't afford $90 jeans. Leiberman said that he thinks that kind of money for jeans is a lot.
Jon asked Leiberman if he's going to get a new pair of jeans. Leiberman said he will try maybe one pair. He said that he will test the waters.
Jon asked Leiberman about the Orioles shirt and what Howard had to say about that. Leiberman said he knows that the other fans will hate it but that's his team and he's going to wear it. Leiberman said that if they're winning and the Yankee fans are upset they may turn around and see that. Leiberman said he'll be fine. He said that he likes to be focused on the game and he keeps score and all of that. Leiberman said he doesn't bring a mitt but he does like to be in the moment and not be drunk. Leiberman said he does talk to his son about the game and he will have his girlfriend there and he won't talk to her much. He said she gets that though.
Gary said that he has gone to games wearing an opposing team's shirt. Jon said he will wear one if he pays for the tickets himself. They talked about that for a minute and then had to take another break.
Jon asked Ronnie if he thinks he could do it if he was offered that shot. Ronnie said he couldn't do it. Jon asked if he was surprised that it was being taped. Ronnie said he thinks that he has cameras all over his studio so he's not surprised that he had them in his house.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if Howard has ever made a personal call to get a celebrity to come on the show. Gary said he hasn't and he doesn't think Howard would want to put anyone out. He said he doesn't want to put people on the spot. Jon said Howard hates being put on the spot himself. Gary said that's why he won't do it to other people.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Howard has been doing something lately that seems to be annoying people. He said that he did it today and yesterday with Hulk. He said Howard will ask a question and they cut the person off with another question. He asked if they notice that. Gary said the wheels are spinning very fast and maybe Howard heard something that he didn't want to get into and he just redirects.
Jon said you don't realize how much is going on in Howard's head. He said he's on a pace and he will stick to it. Gary said there are guests that Howard has to work hard at to keep the person on the path he wants to go on. He said Howard thinks the audience will be bored if they don't do it his way.
Gary said that he loved Henry on the show today. He said that Turner and Hooch story was great and you had to see his reactions to the questions about Tom Hanks. Jon said that he's no fan of Pinky Tuscadero either. Jon said he finds it hard to believe that he doesn't have retirement money. Gary said he's a smart guy but henry did say that you never know what's going on behind someone's front door. Jon said he never slows down and he just keeps working. Gary said he's 67 years old and you'd think he'd take his time.
Jon asked Ronnie if he was a Happy Days fan. Ronnie said he was. He said Henry is such a laid back and quiet guy. Gary said he saw him do an after school special where he was teaching kids about Shakespeare and it was such a different person.
Jon said that JD also got to come into the studio to tell Henry what gaping was. Jon said Henry was more than willing to go there. Gary said he might not be as clean cut as he appears. He said he can take a joke.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Black on Black is a great show because of the way they go at each other. He asked if Ronnie and Jon Leiberman would do a show. Ronnie said he doesn't know about that. He said they'd have to ask Tim Sabean. Gary wondered what they would talk about in a show like that. Ronnie said his every day life would be fine. He said they could talk about their crap at home. Jon said he thinks that Ronnie and Jon like each other deep down. Leiberman said he likes Ronnie more outside of there than he does in there. They wrapped up and ended the show a short time later. They were done at 11:00am.
Howard Talks To Program Director Tim Sabean. 10/11/05. 6:05am
Howard mentioned that he has a new Program Director over at SIRIUS 100 and that is Tim Sabean. It was a surprise announcement yesterday and it shook the radio industry when they announced it yesterday. Fred played the ''WOOO HOOO'' scream that Tim did for them on the phone years ago when he had some great ratings news for them. Howard said he's really looking forward to working with Tim, who has to move up from Philly to work with them. He thinks that Tim is going to get an apartment there in New York and then go back to Philly on the weekends. Howard and Tim talked about what Infinity would do once he made the announcement. Tim thought he'd be fired while Howard didn't believe that would happen. As soon as Tim made his announcement, Joel Hollander had him escorted out of the building. Howard said that Tim has been working for Infinity for like 20 years now.
Howard had Tim on the phone a short time later and said that he's ready to go over to SIRIUS today. The two of them spent a few minutes talking about their upcoming jobs. Howard was on fire yesterday about getting things going over there. Tim said that it's been an emotional ride for him for the past few weeks. He said he spoke to the General Manager down in Philly yesterday and had to break the news to the staff at the station down there. Howard said that Kidd Chris was kind of bummed about that news because he just started down there in Philly himself. Tim said he wasn't escorted out of the building but he was asked to leave once he informed corporate that he was leaving. Tim told Howard about all of the things he was overseeing there at Infinity before he was let go.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to call Tim a scumbag for cutting off the beginning of the show all the time and what a scumbag he is. Tim said that they go right into the show as soon as it starts but the caller said that's not the case. Howard told Tim he was fired for doing that but it was too late, he was already fired. Howard wanted to know where Gary was this morning, he wasn't in yet and they couldn't get a hold of him. He wanted to talk about his office over at SIRIUS because there area lot of people who have glass walls. He said all he wants to do is sleep in his office. He mentioned that he has had sex in his office there at the station so Robin tried to find out who it was that he was having sex with. He wasn't talking though. He said it was when he was still trying to keep things on the down low back when he first got divorced.
Tim said that he'll be up to New York on Monday and he'll be looking for an apartment to move his family up there. He said his kids are grown up so that makes things earlier for him. Howard and his agent were talking about Tim and his agent was saying that Tim was divorced but that's not the case. Howard wasn't sure where exactly Tim would be working out of once he moves to SIRIUS but he's very excited about him coming over with him. He got some great write-ups in the news yesterday. Tim said he's looking forward to working with him and got off the phone.
In the clip Howard and Robin were talking about something that happened with Meg Griffin the day before. Howard said that he and Meg got into a thing yesterday. He said that he went and taped something Meg did on VH1 and he goofed on her green sweater. He said that she refuses to dress nice when she does something like that. Howard said she looked like a fullback on the show and she got upset with him. Howard said he was just trying to be nice because she looks cute but she dresses like a snowball. Howard said he wanted to trim down that sweater she was wearing.
Howard said it got real weird in there with Meg. Howard said he should replay the clip. Howard asked Scott if he could lift the tape of that. He said he felt bad at first but then he figured he shouldn't feel bad at all. He said he really didn't do anything wrong.
Howard asked Scott to pull the tape so he can listen to hear where he went wrong. Howard said Meg even said the G-damn word. Howard said he didn't even catch it. Howard said he thought she was coming over to kiss his neck or something. He said she ended up walking out. Howard said Jackie told him he shouldn't have laughed so hard. He said it was kind of funny.
Howard said Tom came in to be with Meg and he didn't want anything to do with them. Howard said the only other person he's seen get so upset was Fred. Gary said Gilda Radner too. Jackie said David Brenner's girlfriend too. Howard said he's been nice to Meg so she'll come in and talk to them. He said she seemed like she was into it too.
Gary said Meg thought she could handle it but she apparently couldn't do it. Howard said she wigged out on him. Howard said he played the wrong tape yesterday too. He said he went to play her VH1 tape and he played the Tawana Brawley tape instead. He said he really didn't mean to do that. He said it happened by accident. Robin said he really did that.
Jackie asked if he thinks that they were on borrowed time every time she came in there. Howard said he did. He said he thought she was going to be okay yesterday but then she blew up. Howard said he thought that she'd get upset if he got into some sexual stuff. He said Meg had tears in her eyes. Robin said she was wondering how they were going to get out of the studio. Howard said he and Jackie didn't know what to do.
Howard said he'll get the tape ready. He went to break a short time later. After the edited out break Howard came back and talked more about Meg Griffin getting upset with him. Howard said they have the tape to play. Howard played some of that audio. Howard was talking to Meg about seeing her on VH1 and about the sweater. Then he played the Tawana Brawley tape. That flipped Meg out. Meg got up and said she didn't want to be a part of this. Howard said he stopped playing it but Meg didn't want to be there. Howard said he's sorry and he likes the sweater. Meg was gone. Howard and Robin talked about how Meg hates Howard. Howard said he's so embarrassed. He said he's not sure what to say to Meg when she leaves. Robin said she likes Meg but she has so many problems with what they do.
Howard told Fred to play something and he'll slink his way out of there and not say anything to her. Howard asked Meg to come back in. Meg came in and said that she realizes that she's just not that god damn important.
Howard had Steve Rossi in the studio so he asked him to sing a song for Meg. Howard said they want to make friends. Gary told Howard that Meg isn't coming in today. Gary said she said she was going to wait until he gets off. Gary said that she's still kind of angry. Howard said Steve Rossi is going to sing for her though. Steve said this is beautiful too.
Howard had Steve sing the song for her. He was singing about seeing her on VH1 and pulling his pants down around his ankles. They cut him off when he didn't really know the song he was singing to. Howard had Steve try another song but he was getting that one wrong too so Jackie wanted to cut him off with that one too. Steve eventually got into it and got it down.
Howard sang one of the song parodies himself since Steve wasn't doing it the way they had hoped. Howard sang to the tune of The Beatles ''Yesterday'' and sang about what a fox Meg is. Howard sang about how he got Meg upset but if he had sex with her she'd bubble like oatmeal.
Howard said he can sing. Steve said he's going to get Howard a record contract. Fred told Howard that Meg isn't moving out there. Howard said he thinks it was just a little misunderstanding. Steve said Howard can win anyone over.
Howard Plays Tape Of Gary's Book Reading. 10/11/99. 8:00am
Last week Gary went to some event where he was to read a book for kids between the ages of 5 and 10. Howard played some tape of the event this morning where Gary is introduced to the kids. Gary then tries to explain to the kids what his job is. He explained it but since he was talking to kids he explained it like he was the producer of a normal radio show. He said that he helps his boss prepare for the morning show by making sure he has the correct news and weather reports and stuff like that. Howard hasn't done a weather report in years. Gary just explained that he was talking to kids so they don't really need to know what he really does. Gary then read for the kids with those big teeth of his getting in the way.
In the clip Howard came back from break and Fred was playing a Dinosaur Jr. song. Howard spent a minute talking about the song and wondering how the rest of it went. Fred didn't have the full song. Fred did have a new clip of Howard's mom saying a long ''Ohhh'' on the phone.
Howard said the movie company wants to run a teaser for his upcoming movie. He said that they haven't shot the movie yet but they do have some stuff they could shoot. Howard said this would just be to let people know the movie is coming.
Howard said what he would do is go to ad agencies to get them to come up with an idea for this trailer. Howard said that they're saying that they only have a couple of days left to come up with something. Howard said they have to get it done so they can get it shipped to the theaters. Howard said there's a whole process there. Howard said he has an idea but he didn't want to come up with it himself. Howard said he wanted to get pitched by a bunch of ad agencies. Howard said he's sitting at home in a position he doesn't want to be in. He said he did come up with an idea that's good but he would have liked to have heard from the ad agencies. Howard said now he has to worry about some trailer.
Howard said he was thinking they could get something in this weekend and shoot it next week. Howard said he had an idea where he'd be following OJ as he's stalking his wife. Howard said OJ would come up to him thinking he was his wife but it turns out to be Howard Stern.
Gary came in so Howard started goofing on him about some ideas he had. Gary said he had an idea for Fabio to do something. He suggested that they do that so they get the ladies in to see the movie. Howard said Gary had to come running in with that idea. That led to Fred doing his Gary Puppet voice and goofing on Gary.
Howard said Gary is so funny when Gary comes in with an idea like that. Howard said Gary blamed it on Ralph after it didn't go anywhere. Gary Puppet and Howard came up with some more bad ideas like that. Fred would throw a name out and Howard would ask what the pitch is and the puppet would pause and not have a good idea. Howard and Fred kept that up for a couple of minutes. Robin was also getting into it by doing her Gary impression.
Howard and Fred were coming up with more and more ideas like Gary came up with. They were throwing ideas out that made no sense at all.
Howard said that was exciting. Howard said he still wants to get pitched some more ideas for the movie. Howard said he thinks that he should do the OJ chase thing in the trailer.
Howard said that they gave Mike Gange a job there working the camera in the hall for the E! show. Howard said that it's like a home movie. He said Gange just asks the guests if they liked doing the show. Howard said Gange is one of those guys who graduated college and he's been working for free for like 4 years. Howard said Gange is a good kid and he helps out with stuff at his house. Gange was logging the show but he could tell that he wanted more. Howard said Gange was on the verge of going back and working for his daddy. Howard said he was going to change his life so they gave him the title of Production Assistant. Howard said they took all of the pressure off of him and now his parents aren't bugging him. Howard said he can tell his girlfriend that he's in television now. Howard said all of a sudden he's somebody and now he's getting carried away with it. Howard said Gange started dropping him and said that it was beneath him. Howard said he gave the guy a glamour job. Howard said he needs him back at his house helping out. Howard said he's just a guy who holds a video camera.
Stuttering John said that Gange was complaining about how he had to go work at Howard's house. He said he couldn't go out with the rest of the guys. Gange asked if working there for 4 years means nothing. Howard said he needs him working at his house. Howard said he just holds a video camera on people. He said he didn't earn the job. He gave it to him because he felt bad for him. Howard said he will just take it from him and give it to Grillo. Howard said a monkey could do that job. Howard said Gange wanted to be in TV and he gave him a shot. Howard said he can't be in radio because his voice is awful. Howard said no one could listen to that.
Howard said Gange didn't earn that position. Gange insisted that he did. Howard said he didn't do anything to indicate to him that he earned it. Gange said he put the time in. He said he gave them 4 years of work. Howard said he didn't earn it. Howard said this isn't a move up either. Howard said Gange is still working for him. John said he heard that Gange screwed up a shoot and he told him to go back and watch the channel 9 show tapes. Gange said Howard won't let him. Howard said he watches them all the time. Gange said he doesn't watch them, he just dubs them. Howard said he could take them home and watch if he just asked.
Howard said Gange could have gotten the channel 9 show tapes from John. Gange said he asked him for them and John said he wouldn't bring them.
Howard and Gange went back and forth arguing about that for a few minutes. Howard said Gange wants to be in show business but this is it. He said he's stuck working with him. Gange said he will do more. He told Howard that he's going to start doing more. Robin asked what else he's doing. Gange said he's not doing anything yet. Robin laughed so Gange told her to shut up.
Howard said he had an opening on the movie but he might not tell him about that. Howard said he might get confused and overwhelmed. Howard said Gange will complain that he's doing this for him. He said he'll want to go work for someone else.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he has a job for Gange. Howard wished Gange luck with that. Howard said Gange thinks he's a bad guy but he's given him a job for the past 4 years. Howard said he gave Gange money too. Gange said he did a damn good job. Howard said he does do a good job at his house. He said holding the camera isn't a job. He said it's a perk. Howard said that anyone could hold that camera. Howard said Grillo is doing that right now. Howard laughed when he saw Grillo holding the camera. Howard told the guys to bring in a 5 year old to try it out. Jackie said he has a 5 year old nephew who wants to be a cinematographer so he'll bring him in.
Someone brought in a 10 year old kid who was there. Howard asked the kid if he has ever done this before. The kid said he hadn't. He was doing just fine with the camera work. The kid said his 6 year old cousin could work that camera. Howard laughed when he heard that. Howard said the 10 year old is doing a fine job. Howard asked if he could do that job for 4 hours a morning. The kid said he could. Howard asked him what he would do if he saw Pam Anderson walking out of the studio. The kid had some lines for her and he was actually being funny. The kid's name was David. Howard said he made a point for him this morning. Howard asked David if he wanted to be paid to do that. David said he would do it for free. Howard said he likes this kid and he might have him play Little Howard in his movie.
Howard thanked Gange and said that this really isn't a job. He said it's just more fun than working the computer back there. Jackie said they can have David out in the hall with the camera and see if he can do as good a job as Gange. Howard told David what he will be doing. He told him to ask basic questions to Gange out there. David had no problem doing that. Howard said he has no help. He has to do it on his own.
Howard had Gange go out and do the interview. Howard said this is just a perk. Gange went out and the kid was asking Gange what it was like being humiliated on the air. Gange asked for his camera back. Ralph told Howard that Gange will freak out if you sit at his desk out there. Howard said Gange was coming to his house late all the time and he asked Scott Einziger what he had Gange doing. Scott told him they didn't have him doing anything. Howard said that Gange told him he had to log all of his stuff. Howard said he could be logging it all between the interviews.
Howard spent a couple minutes going off on Gange but then Gange came back in. Howard went over the same stuff with him once again. Howard kicked everyone out a short time later. Howard said he had to set Gange straight because he was getting delusional. Howard said he hopes his feet are on the ground now.
Howard Gives Away A Trip. 10/11/00. 8:20am
Howard had a trip to give away courtesy of the daytime game show ''Sex Wars'' so he played a ''Stripper Game'' where a caller has to guess whether or not the stripper can answer trivia questions correctly or not. Howard got a guy on the phone and said he had to answer 3 out of 5 correctly. The stripper claimed to have gone to college for 2 years but she dropped out. She also claimed she was in college studying medicine... Here are his questions:
|Question||Caller Says||Stripper Answer||Correct?|
|What food group is corn in?||Y||Goya, Spanish food||N|
|What letters in the alphabet are vowels?||N||D,E,A,W,Y||N|
|How many wheels are on a tricycle?||Y||Two||N|
|How many nostrils do you have?||Y||Two||Y|
|What President is on the one dollar bill?||Y||George Washington||Y|
|Complete this line from a Shakespeare play.. ''To be or not..''||To be||Y|
|How many pints are in a quart?||Three I think||N|
|Name one ocean.||Pacific ocean||Y|
|How many quarters are in 75 cents?||Three||Y|
|True or False, Dolphins walk on land.||FALSE||Y|
|How many testicles does a normal man have?||Four||N|
|How did Princess Diana die?||Car accident||Y|
|What are the last four letters in the alphabet?||Z,Y,W,X||Y|
|Where does solar energy come from?||Vegetables and energy pills||N|
|How many clitoris' does a woman have?||Four||N|
|If you get $200 from Scores and spend $190 on perfume, how much to you have left?||$10||Y|
|How did JFK Jr. die?||Airplane crash||Y|
|What's the first name of the First Lady?||Hilary Clinton||Y|
|What is Bill Gates Famous for?||Sex with Monica Lewinsky?||N|
|What is the sun, a moon, planet, star or plant?||Planet||N|
|How many days are in a year?||365||Y|
|What month are taxes due?||December||N|
|How many holes are in a game of golf?||Four||N|
|How many people are in a quartet?||Five||N|
|What animals race in the Kentucky Derby?||Dogs||N|
|What do you call a tooth doctor?||Dentist||Y|
|Name one bridge in New York.||Brooklyn||Y|
|Abe is short for what name?||Abie||N|
In the clip Ellen was on the phone and complaining about what she had to go through to get back stage. Howard said that she would understand if she realized who her brother is. Howard said that he doesn't have the kind of staff that Billy Joel does. Howard said they do this every night. Ellen said she doesn't understand why they do things the way they do. Howard said they don't have the kind of organization they need to do that. Howard said this is why he has trouble with his sister. He said she just doesn't get it.
Ellen said that they could have given out the passes earlier in the day. Howard said that he didn't have passes to give out. He said he didn't get his until that night. Ellen said that she wasn't able to get back stage but there were a bunch of jerks who did. She said she doesn't know who they were but she knows that they were jerks.
Howard said Ellen got to meet Sam Kinison back stage and she got all excited about that. Howard said he does love his sister but she can get a little crazy. Howard said he understands why she thought it was her night. Ellen said she should have had a pass. Howard said his own wife didn't even have a pass. Ellen asked what Ronnie was doing. Howard said they should call him and find out.
Howard said maybe Ronnie was having trouble back stage. Ellen asked with what he would have had trouble with. Howard said he doesn't know. Ellen said she's mad at Howard and very mad at Ronnie. Gary said that the guy who runs the coliseum told him that there was going to be trouble if someone didn't handle them there.
Howard said they had cameras rolling there so he has tape from back stage. Sam Kinison came in and said hi to Ellen. Howard said he had back stage passes but Ronnie was busy paling around with Sam. Howard said Ronnie should have been worrying about the passes. Sam said he felt that Ellen should have gotten back stage. Ellen and Sam talked about how much they liked each other.
Howard tried calling Ronnie to find out what he was doing at the event. Howard wasn't able to get him on the phone. He said Ronnie must have taken the phone off the hook.
Howard told Ellen how touring works and how they didn't have that kind of set up yesterday. Ellen said all he needed was 2 passes for his sister and mother. Howard said he had a million things to worry about. He said he had the passes there for her and a guy with a list. Ellen asked if he means Ronnie. Howard said that's who it was. Howard said his sister had a puss on her face that night. Sam said she did until she met him. Sam said she's so sweet. Howard said he was hacking up his guts and she asked him to take her to meet Sam. Howard said this tape is like his own personal Gong Show nightmare.
Howard said he loves his family but sometimes they don't understand what it's like to put a show on like that. Howard said it's an involved process. Robin said that Howard should put Ellen on the team to find out how hard it really is. Robin said she should be in charge of passes.
Howard said he has to take a break and let Ellen go. Howard said they have a lot of things planned for the back stage footage. Howard said that they will compress it into a great documentary for the show. Howard said if he dies tomorrow he has the ultimate documentary about the program. Sam said he wants to place his order today. He said he has his credit card ready to go. Howard said the tape is going to cost $29.95. He said it's all new material and the fans will be proud.
Gary told Howard that Ronnie was on the phone. Howard picked up and asked him to explain to everyone what happened with the back stage list. Ronnie said he had the list in his pocket. He said at the end of the show all hell broke loose. He said everyone knew that. Ronnie said that they had people running for the area to get back stage when the show was over. Howard said he should have given it to the guard at the door. Ronnie said he didn't want it. He said that he was the one who was supposed to be in charge. Howard said Ross could have taken care of it. Ronnie said they were all overwhelmed with the number of people back there. He said he told the guard not to let anyone through who wasn't cleared. He said a lot of maniacs were getting back there.
Howard said what he would have done was say to Ross that he should help him out. Ronnie said it was mass chaos back there. He said he noticed that Howard disappeared pretty quick. Howard said he's like Batman and just got out of there. Howard said it's not women and children first. He said that he's first.
Howard goofed on Ronnie about that for a few minutes. Ronnie told Sam he should leave that show. Howard said there were a lot of people asking why they couldn't get back stage and now he knows what happened. Ronnie was upset with Howard for going there with him. He said if there is a next time he's going to let them crash the back room.
Howard let Ronnie go and talked to Sam a little more. Howard said they won't be seeing him for a little while. Howard said they won't see him until the 1990s.
Singing Psychic Predicts Christopher Reeve Will Walk! 10/11/04. 8:35am
Howard came back from break and had Fran Baskerville the Singing Psychic on the phone. He quickly asked her who she thinks will win the election. She sang her tune and said that Bush will win with 52 percent of the vote. She also sang about Howard a little bit and how he'll do well on Sirius when he makes the move. Howard told Fran that she has to do better with her prediction about Bush because he can't take another four years of that. Fran told Howard that she read some stuff about Kerry and ended up arguing with Howard about who she thought won the last debate. She thought that Bush won the debate but Howard told her that he didn't win either debate.
Fran told Howard more about what she thinks about him going to Sirius. Howard asked her to predict if Gary will ever get divorced. She sang her song and said that he'll stay married even though he needs more freedom. Howard quickly asked her to predict who will win the Super Bowl. She didn't have a clue but she did sing about how the Yankees will win the World Series. Howard asked her if Gary the Retard and Wendy the Retard will ever understand the concept of satellite radio. Fran said they may not ever understand it but they will enjoy being on the show when Howard makes the move. Howard wrapped up the call and gave her a plug for her web site SingingPsychic.com. He got off the line a few seconds later but forgot to ask her some questions.
Gary got her back on the line so they could ask her about whether or not Osama bin Laden will ever be caught. He first asked her if there will be another 9/11-type attack before the election. Fran sang that she doesn't see anything like that here in the U.S. She was then asked about Osama and she says that he's dead and in a cave somewhere and he will be found within a month or so. Fran says that he's already dead from what she can tell. Howard asked her about Christopher Reeve who she thought was going to get better eventually. She had no idea that he passed away over the weekend. Howard broke the news to her and she explained that when she saw him jumping around it must have been in heaven.
Howard asked Fran if she's had sex lately. She said that she got some last night from her ex-husband who is now her secretary. Howard wondered if he was a white guy or a black guy. He's a white guy according to Fran. Howard got off the phone with her again after those questions.
In the clip Howard had Al Michaels in the studio to talk about the OJ Simpson call he was part of with Peter Jennings. Howard and Al talked about how Judge Ito in the OJ Simpson case seems to be a fan of the show.
Howard found out that Al was friends with OJ and he had hung out with him quite a bit. Al said this is a very confusing thing for him to see. Al said he has been to see OJ and he was in the news for that. He said he went to visit him in jail. Howard asked how he arranges to do something like that. Al said that he was on OJ's friend list over at the jail.
Howard said he met OJ twice and the only thing they talked about was women. He said that OJ was a tooki bandit. Al said with OJ what you see is what you get.
Billy West started doing his Al Michaels impression and the voice was so close to Al's that it was hard to tell the difference. Billy made a joke about OJ's tennis racquet handle smelling like half the models in Los Angles.
Robin asked Al if he was upset that he didn't make the list of friends in the OJ letter. Al said no. Howard asked Al if everyone is in denial about this OJ thing. Before Al could answer Howard was asking how he got on the friend list. Al said he called his lawyer's office.
Howard asked if Al took his top off and rubbed up against the prison glass. Al said it's not like a Turkish prison. He said there is glass there but he didn't have to rub the glass. Billy did more of his impression and Al acted all upset about it.
Howard said if OJ did it then he must have lost his mind for a split second and now his whole life could be ruined. Howard asked Al if he had to be strip searched. Al said he did not. Howard asked Al what he said to OJ at first. Al said he asked how he's doing. Then they just had a normal conversation. Billy did his impression of OJ talking from behind the glass at the prison. Howard asked Al to recreate the conversation. Al said Billy just did it. He said that's what it was like.
Howard asked Billy to do both voices. Billy did both voices as Al and OJ having a conversation. Billy said some stuff that upset Al so Al would make sure that everyone knew that it wasn't him saying those lines. He said that was Billy West.
Al told Howard that OJ didn't talk about the case at all. Howard said that it's pretty exciting news that he got to visit OJ. Howard said he had to go to break and then get to the Peter Jennings phony phone call. Howard said Al was there and he's now a part of one of the greatest phony phone calls in history. They went to break a short time later.
After the edited out break Howard came back and said that Al was telling him during the break how he rubbed his breasts against the glass for OJ. Howard said Al is there and he was there the night that Peter Jennings took a call from one of their listeners and the guy said he was watching OJ at his house after the chase. Howard asked Al if he heard the call from the beginning. Al said he was there listening to the coverage of the chase. Howard said that chase was like watching a game. Al said he was thinking that this was the World Trade Center once again. He said he knew it was one of the guys who calls into the show.
Howard asked Al if he was trying to get through to the show to let Peter Jennings know. Al said he wasn't really but he was also wondering if he should mention Howard's name. He said a lot of people might be turned off to Howard if he did. Howard said he doesn't have to worry about that. Howard said he has turned off plenty of people.
Howard had Billy do his Al impression during that phony phone call. Billy did his impression spot on. He had the lines down and his voice was very close to Al's.
Howard played the audio of that prank call the guy made during the Peter Jennings report about OJ. This guy got on and did an awful black impression and said he could see OJ slouching down. Howard said everyone knew it was a prank call. He said his father knew it was a prank as soon as the guy started to speak. Howard played more of the call and ''Robert Higgins'' was talking about how OJ was lookin' very nervous in his Bronco. Howard wondered if Peter had never spoken to a black man in his life. He said that voice this guy was doing was obviously fake. The guy went on to say he could see OJ and he looked scared. Then he says ''and Baba Booey to y'all...'' Peter Jennings had no idea what he had heard. He keeps reporting on what's going on and then Al Michaels gets on and tells him that it was a totally farcical call and it was a reference to a morning radio show.
As soon as Billy West heard Al's line he started to do an impression of him responding. Billy was goofing on Peter Jennings and Al and talking about what they could have said.
Al talked about what he would talk to OJ about before all of this happened. He said that they all knew about the trouble OJ got into with Nicole years ago. He said he spoke to both of them about that.
Howard said Al is uncomfortable talking about the case. He said he can tell. Al said ''Oh yeah, right.'' Howard said that Al is the greatest. He said he came in and told us what goes on behind the scenes. Howard asked when he gets to see OJ again. Al said he'll see him sometime soon. Howard asked if he'll go back to playing tennis with him if he gets out of jail. Al said if he's found innocent then he would imagine he would. Al and Billy went back and forth before Howard wrapped up and went to break.
Artie Turns 39 Today. 10/11/06. 6:05am
Howard interrupted and said that it's Artie's birthday today. Artie turns 39 years old. Artie thanked him for that and then got goofed on a little bit about the baby gorilla that was born 39 years ago today.
Artie told a story about his father getting put up on counterfeiting charges many years ago. He said that he got involved with some guys who had him holding onto hundreds of thousands of counterfeit money. They were living in a tiny apartment and got raided by the FBI. This was before Artie was born but his mother was pregnant. The FBI came in and arrested his father. His father didn't give up the guys he was holding the money for though.
Artie said his father refused to tell anyone who it was. His father got bailed out and in the middle of all of that Artie was born. He said his father's lawyer defended him and it looked like it was going to be 5-10 years of prison for him. The lawyer suggested that they bring the baby to court. They did that and his mother held him up to the Jury and when she did that, Artie gave a little smile right on cue. That led to the Jury letting his father off and giving him a Not Guilty verdict.
Artie said his father was only part Italian and he never got into the mob or anything but he did have a brush with them. Artie said he found all of this out before his father died so he did bring it up at one point asking his father if he knew what he had done for him. Artie said his life would have been much different if his father had ended up in jail.
Various News Stories. 10/11/06. 6:15am
Howard checked out some of the Siobhan video and everyone was disgusted by what they were watching. They were playing the part where Siobhan was getting screwed by the guy and Richard was dry heaving and puking in the background. Howard told the guys to turn it off because he couldn't take it. He said it was quite a freak show.
Artie said that guy went a lot farther than he expected he would. Howard said that Siobhan's back still looks like a man's back but he's got boobs. He said he couldn't not watch it though because it's such a freak show.
In the clip Howard said that James Taylor came in to visit him the other day and Gary asked him for an autograph. James signed his name but that was it. He said Gary wrote in ''To Gary'' on the picture. Gary told Howard they're out of their minds. He said he didn't write that. Howard had Gary write down ''To Gary'' on a piece of paper. Howard said it looked exactly the same. Howard said Gary wrote it. Gary said he did not. Gary said he didn't write it but maybe someone else did. Fred said he has seen Gary do it before. Gary said he doesn't know what he's seeing but he never did that. Howard said he's going to get a handwriting analysis done. Howard said that the letters are all the same.
Howard said it's great to have Fred in on this with them. Gary and Fred ended up going at each other about that. Fred was doing an impression of Gary's New York accent and repeating what Gary was saying to him.
Howard told Gary to swear to god that he didn't do it. Gary swore to god on his mother that he didn't do it. Gary said he doesn't believe in that anyway so it was no problem swearing. Howard asked if they have to call James Taylor and ask if he did that. Gary said he didn't do it. He said he thinks that maybe James signs a bunch of autographs and then someone else fills out the name. He said he didn't do it. Fred said it's in his handwriting. Jackie said they have to do a handwriting analysis. Howard told him to keep that piece of paper and they'll do that. Gary wanted to see the paper but they were afraid he was going to destroy it so they wouldn't let him touch it. Gary left a short time later.
Fred said Gary really loves James Taylor so he may have gone too far. Gary came back in and said that Fred never saw him sign anything. Fred said he knows he did it. Gary said he didn't do that. He said Fred would lose in court if he used that explanation. Howard said anything he says now can be used and held against him in the future. Gary told them to go and find another autograph that was signed in the same handwriting. Fred said he probably pulled them all down.
Gary said he has autographs from other people and he didn't sign them himself. Howard said he's going to get Gary a rubber stamp that says ''To Gary'' for Christmas. Howard said Gary is flipping out about this and he didn't think it was that big of a deal. Jackie said if he did do it he must be kicking himself over the whole thing.
Fred said that Gary was saying that James Taylor did it at first and then he changed his story. Gary came back and flipped them the bird with both hands. Howard said it's Fred who is accusing him, not him. Gary said that Howard isn't helping. Howard said he's trying to clear his good name. Howard said what Gary is doing is thinking about when he should break the news that he's lying. Gary said he's not lying. He insisted he didn't do it.
Howard asked why he didn't have James Taylor sign his teeth. Jackie said he knows why. He said Gary can't write backwards in the mirror.
Jack And Rod Bit Replayed. 10/11/07. 6:00am
Howard started off the show saying that a lot of people wrote him about the new phony phone call that Sal and Richard made. He played the call yesterday. Sal and Richard used clips of Riley Martin saying ''Huh?'' to jerk around a guest they had for their Jack and Rod show.
Howard played some audio from Riley's show where a caller asked him if he expects a gift from Howard. Riley said he expects enough money from him to buy him a potato as a gift. He then played the Jack and Rod show bit where Sal and Richard have a woman on the line who is trying to help their guest with his malpractice suit. Riley's responses are all ''Huh?'' or ''Uhh.'' She asks what kind of diagnosis he was given and he responds with a bunch of ''huh?'' until the woman finally hangs up on them.
Howard said that's a good call and it holds up even after a few plays. He said the boys came up with another one that he thought was really good but he asked them to tighten it up. They were working on it according to Gary.
Actress Traci Lords Comes In. 10/11/00.8:55am
Ex-underage-porn-star Traci Lords came in this morning to promote the new TV show she's working on. She'll be in the new season of ''First Wave'' on the Sci-Fi channel. When she came in Howard said she's sporting a new hair color.. red. She first thanked Howard for letting her do a voice for his upcoming cartoon ''Doomsday''. Howard was about to say something about the cartoon but he never got to it. Howard quickly mentioned that he thinks Traci doesn't like him. He brought up an article where she was asked ''Who would you rather sleep with, Rush Limbaugh or Howard Stern?'' She answered ''I'd rather die than sleep with either of them.'' She said she doesn't dislike him that much.
Howard started to go through a list of people she's slept with but he didn't get far. He mentioned John Enos but she broke up with him after his dog killed her cat. She claims that he was too immature for her and that's why they broke up. She denied a story about her being heard having sex in a bathroom with her boyfriend.
Traci said that she has tried changing her name so people wouldn't know it was her going for acting jobs but it got her in trouble. She said a company in Japan sued her for misrepresentation. She then went back to her porn name and says that people can either take her or leave her. She told Howard some of the details of her life in the porn industry. She told Howard that by the age of 10 she was fully developed and guys always came on to her. She was raped by a kid who was a couple of years older when she was 10 and that changed her life. She said that after the rape she thought sex was supposed to be violent so that led to her eventually getting into porn. By 16 she ran away from home and went to Hollywood. She responded to an ad in the paper where they were looking for models. She was soon living with a guy in the industry. She said she was intoxicated when she shot her first porn movie and said she didn't even realize they were shooting a movie. She just knew there was a camera in the room and guys having sex with her. Two and a half years later she was busted and there was a whole big scandal about kids in porn which probably cleaned up the porn industry.
Traci admits that she lied about her age but the way the guys got her to do the movies was wrong. She also thinks that law enforcement should have ''rescued'' her from her porn life sooner. She thinks that the only reason they did rescue her was for political reasons. She said they knew about her before then but didn't do anything.
Traci says she's having an incredible life now. She was on ''Melrose Place'' for 6 episodes and now she's in this ''First Wave'' show. She's living up in Vancouver while she shoots the show. She said she's getting along with her mother now and she has 3 great sisters who she gets along with now. Her father hasn't been around since she was a young child. She said she's tried to find out why he was never around but he tells her that she left him, he didn't leave her. It was actually her mother who moved her away from her father though.
As Howard was wrapping things up he took a bunch of phone calls for Traci. No one had anything bad to say about her. One guy said he was going to say that ''A whore is just a whore'' but after hearing her story he changed his mind. Traci also revealed that she just won a case to get the master tapes of her only ''legal'' porn movie that's still being sold. She owned the rights to it already but had problems getting them back. She won the case but it cost her close to a million bucks trying to get the movie off store shelves. She said she's going to burn the masters. She doesn't want them out there anymore but she knows there will be bootleg copies floating around forever. Traci said she just wants to let people know that she doesn't want that movie out there anymore.
After Traci left and Howard took a break he said that he thinks that she likes him now. He also said that a lot of the guys think she's really hot looking. Jackie said that someone told him that when they looked at Traci on camera they ''..saw the devil..'' Jackie didn't say who said that.
Steve Grillo's IQ Test Begins. 10/11/1996. 3:50pm
Howard asked Gary if they were going to test Grillo in the IQ test thing. Howard went off on Grillo about his spelling and then called him in to talk about the test he was going to be taking. Howard asked Grillo why he wouldn't use a spell check on his resume. Grillo said he didn't think he would need it otherwise he would have spell checked it.
Howard read Grillo's resume and goofed on him about the stuff he had listed in there. Grillo said he never does well on any tests. He said he just doesn't test well. Howard said Grillo is basically saying he's not stupid, he just doesn't test well. He said he could be a lawyer with an answer like that. Howard said he must be smart in other areas then. Grillo said he can carry on a conversation.
Howard said they may have to take some of his work away from him if he doesn't test well. Dominic Barbara called in and said he's willing to send Grillo to his vacation home if he does well on this test. Grillo said he really doesn't know how he'll do on this test.
The guys went over the stuff that Grillo would be tested on. They went over that and how Grillo should be taking the test. Howard told Grillo to go back and take his test. He asked Robin if she thought he would test above a 90. She wasn't sure about that. Howard said 70 and below is ''borderline.'' Howard said if you have an 80 then you have a ''low'' IQ. A 90 is below average and 100 is average. Howard asked Fred what he thinks Grillo will do. Fred said somewhere between an 88 and a 92 is where Grillo will end up. Howard asked if he can possibly score a 100. No one thought he would. Howard said he thinks he's marginally retarded. Howard took some bets on how he would do. Robin said she thinks it'll be above a 90.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was in special Ed with Grillo. The guy didn't have the right town though so Grillo went off on him. Howard let that guy go and told Grillo to go take his test.
Howard said he's pretty sure he'll be making $100 today with the bets he had on him. Howard said they can bet on individual questions once they get the test back later. He had to go to break after that.
Howard Reads Some Steppin' Out Interviews. 10/11/1996. 5:00pm
Howard found out Steve Grillo was done with his IQ test. Steve came in so Robin told him to feel his head to see if it was smoking. Howard said it was all sweaty. Grillo said he's pretty sure he choked on a few of the sections of the test. He thinks he may have done okay in some of it though. Grillo said he knows he's not retarded. Howard said he thinks he could come in with a 70 and he'd be a functional retard if that was the case.
Grillo's IQ Test Results. 10/11/1996. 5:40pm
After the break Howard got to the Steve Grillo IQ test results. Howard wanted to hold off on the results until Monday but Grillo wanted to get it over with. Howard said he was going to wait until Tuesday to get to it but Grillo asked him to please get it over with.
Gary said that Grillo is good with the left side of his brain. The right side he's not so good at. Gary said he watched Grillo take the test. He said that he thinks that he guessed at a lot of the questions in this one part of the test though.
Gary said Grillo averaged a 98 on the IQ test so he just comes in above retard. So Grillo is going to Puerto Rico sometime in the near future with some unnamed good looking girl thanks to Dominic Barbara.
Howard said that Grillo cost him $100. Robin won the bet she had with Howard. They went over some of the questions that Grillo got wrong. They were trying to figure out how he thinks. They went to break a short time later.
In the clip Howard introduced this guy Jan and his nurse Karen who were there to test Scott the Engineer's lung capacity. Howard and the guys all guessed that Scott's lungs would come up as over 100 years old.
Jan had to ask Scott some questions about when he gets up and when he has his first cigarette. Scott told Jan some stuff that Howard and Robin questioned. Howard had him change his answer about smoking before going on flights and stuff like that. Howard was also doing his impression of Scott's ''Chh'' sound.
Jan asked if Scott likes his first cigarette of the morning or the last one at night. Scott said it's the first one. Scott said he smokes about 40 a day. Howard said he should be honest about that. Scott said it's 40-50. Scott had been smoking for about 22 years. Jan said that's about 44 pack years so you add that to Scott's age and that brings it up to about the age of 86 for his lungs.
Jan asked Scott some more questions about his smoking and the guys were all goofing on Scott and giving goofy answers for the questions. Howard said you'd think the ridicule would make him quit.
Jan asked Scott about what he smokes and if he inhales the smoke. Scott smokes Merit cigarettes. Howard and Fred were doing their Scott impressions constantly and had people in the studio cracking up.
Jan asked Scott if he wants to stop smoking. Scott said he does. Fred was saying that Scott is building up this thing around his head called a Cancerarium. Jan asked if he thinks he can stop smoking. Fred just laughed in his Scott voice. Scott said he thinks that he can quit. Howard and Fred would answer with their own answers before Scott could get his answers out.
Howard said he had to take a break but they'll get to the test after that. Howard said maybe they can do the test during the break and then do another one after the break. Gary told Howard that the test is very funny to watch so they might want to have that on the air. Howard said they'll save it then. Fred, as Scott, asked if he can smoke during the test. Jan said no. They went to break a short time later.
After the edited out break Howard came back and Jan asked Scott some more questions about his age and things like that. Howard had Jan give Scott the test. Scott had to blow into a tube while Jan encouraged him by saying ''In, in, in'' over and over until the time was up. Scott did the first test and then Jan had him try to do the second test. The second time he had trouble keeping a seal around the tube.
Jan tested Scott and told the guys that he tested younger than expected. He said that Scott can now go back and smoke to make up for that. They wrapped up a short time later.
Today's This Date in Howard History was over around 11:40am.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:10am.