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Playboy Cyber Club
(Just about everything)
In the clip we heard Howard introducing Noel who was the bass player in the Jimi Hendrix experience. Howard talked to Noel about his marriage and divorce and found out that it's been taking a while to end it. Noel said that he's proposed to another woman so Robin was wondering how he can do that. Noel said it's not wrong to ask someone if you're in the process of divorcing. Howard asked Noel about what happened to his wife. He said she moved to Denmark and she didn't tell him where she went.
Howard asked Noel about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame event he went to and how Jimi Hendrix's father didn't seem to recognize him. Noel said he did and he has kept in touch over the years since Jimi died. Robin said that maybe he could reunite with his father and play in a band with him.
Howard said they have Al Hendrix's phone number and Noel wants him to call him. He said he's not sure what to talk to him about. Noel said they can talk to him about anything.
Howard asked Noel if he's still trying to get money out of the record company. Noel said he has given up. He said that Jimi's father Al gets some money and he's not sure how much it is. There are other people who bought the rights to his music. Howard said there was a time when he didn't think that it was wroth anything because it wasn't making money. Howard said he bought all of the CDs when they came out. He said that's where the money is coming from these days.
Howard asked Noel if he wanted to call Al Hendrix. He told Gary to get in there with the number. Gary came in a short time later and told him he had him on the line.
Howard talked to Al Hendrix about his son Jimi and told him he had Noel there in the studio. Howard said they all thought Jimi was great. Howard asked if he knows how to play guitar. Al said he doesn't really but he can play Louie, Louie on the bass. Howard asked if he ever sets the bass on fire like his son. Al just laughed.
Howard told Al about how he never got to see Jimi but he almost did. He said a girl invited him to go but she backed out at the last minute.
Howard said he was talking to Noel about selling off the rights to Jimi's music. He said he legitimately did it but there's not much they can do about it. Al said he doesn't know much about that. Howard said Jimi set his guitar on fire and Noel wants to light himself on fire.
Howard asked Al if he has ever thought about selling his sperm since he's got such talented sperm. Al said he's never thought about that. Howard told him that he gave birth to a genius. Al said that's what people say. Howard said he might have really talented sperm.
Howard asked Al if he can get laid being Jimi Hendrix's father. Al said some women come on to him and ask for autographs. Howard asked if he wears a lot of purple. Al said he does on and off. Howard said Jimi was not a good dresser but he had a lot of purple.
Howard said he had a picture of Al and Noel from the hall of fame event. Al was standing next to a very attractive Asian woman. Al said that's just a friend of his.
Howard said he had a Jimi Hendrix poster in his room when he was a kid and he woke up one night and it was talking to him. He said it might have been a dream but it didn't seem like a dream at the time. Howard said he wasn't on drugs at the time either. Howard said he never revealed it before because he felt it was private. He said he'd tell Al what he said but he has to sell him the rights to ''Purple Haze.'' Howard said this has always haunted him. He said it was very mysterious. Howard said the message was two words. He said he woke up in a sweat and he was freaking out with sweat dripping everywhere. He said he was flipping out and Jimi says to him ''Avoid Noel.'' Noel got a laugh out of that. Howard said he thinks that Mr. Hendrix has heard those words too. Al said ''Uh huh.''
Howard said the night Jimi died his poster fell off his wall. Robin said that's not true, it fell off her wall. Howard said that's right.
Howard asked why Mr. Hendrix kept his side of the estate but Noel sold his off. Noel said it was a long story. Noel said he was buying penicillin. Howard said the weird thing about Noel is that he shared a lot with his son. Howard said it's weird. He said he's like living history.
Howard asked Al if he has any other kids. Al said that he does but no one has any talent other than being family. He said he shot his wad there with Jimi.
Howard asked Noel if he ever shared a room with Jimi. Noel said they did. Howard asked if they ever shared a girl. Al said he may have but he hasn't discussed that with Al. Howard asked Al if he ever saw Noel naked. Al said he never did. Howard said they all loved Jimi. He said he's glad they honored him at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
Howard asked Noel if Jimi's penis was huge. Al didn't remember. Howard asked Al if he had a big one. Al said he's normal. Howard said he heard that Jimi's penis size was legendary. Al said that he was average as far as he remembers. Howard said maybe he grew and grew as he got older.
Howard said that Robin would be over there in a minute if Al said that he got it from him. Al didn't say much of anything.
Howard asked what the most embarrassing thing is that he caught his son doing. Al said he caught him playing the broom like he was playing guitar once. Howard asked when he got his first guitar. Al said it was around the age of 15. He said he was pretty good right away too. Robin asked if he thought it was just noise at first. Howard wrapped up with Al a short time later.
Howard got back to Noel and talked to him about a few more things. He said that Noel is going to get married. He talked about his money situation and how he sold off the rights to the Hendrix stuff. Howard said he's marrying the lovely Candy from the Letterman show. Noel said maybe they'll want him to come back on the show. He said he did go to the 10th anniversary show over there. He said he saw Bob Dylan there and he's like a hero to him. Howard said he wishes he was invited to parties like that. Noel said Dylan asked him to play on a new track.
Howard said they should call Dylan instead of talking to Al. Howard said he wasn't able to get much out of Al. Howard did an impression of Al being interviewed and goofed around with that for a short time. Howard said it's no wonder Jimi set himself on fire. Howard said he did seem like a cool guy though. He joked about shooting his wad with Jimi.
Howard said Al must be upset that he lost the one talented son and the rest of the kids aren't so talented. Howard said he's teaching his kids to marry rich guys. Robin said she thought he wanted them to be lesbians. Howard said he does. They will marry rich lesbians.
Howard talked to Noel about how proud he should be for what he did. He said he made some of the greatest music in history and that's why they honor him. Noel said he's still there too. Howard joked about drummers not being real musicians.
Howard asked what Jimi's catalog is worth now. Noel said it's in the millions. Howard said he wanted to figure out what he signed away. Noel said he signed away millions and he only got $100,000 in 1973. He said that it was a lot back then. Howard said it really isn't though. Noel said that the estate was taking his money so he just sold his rights so that would stop. Howard said he was being ripped off and there wasn't much he could do. He said he has a good case to go after them now. Howard said it was like they were treating him like a retard. Howard said he hopes he doesn't mind him calling him a retard. He said he has to play along so they take his side in court. Howard practiced the scene with Jackie playing the part of Noel. Howard told him to let him take over the case. Noel said they would have been happy with 5 percent. Howard told Noel he may have to make in his pants too.
Howard said Jackie was trying to be nice earlier and blasted a fart out in the hall. He said Robin was walking out of her studio and she was outraged when that happened. Jackie didn't know she was coming out.
Howard asked Noel what else he had coming up. Noel told Howard about how he's going to be performing in some places soon. He has Ron Delzner as an agent now. Howard said Ron called them the other day. Noel said he knows, he was in his office at the time. Howard said Ron was asking them to pay him and give him a few bucks. Howard said they never give guests money. Gary told Ron to give him some money instead. Howard said Ron put the con in concert.
Noel said that he met Ron at a dinner he was at. He said he spoke to him and Ron told him to stop by his office. Howard said the guy who directs their TV show looks like him. Howard said he read an article about Ron and in his office he has a painting of himself. Howard said he knew he had a big ego but didn't know he had that picture. Robin said she saw the picture and his sister works under the picture. Howard said the painting is the size of a wall. Noel said it doesn't really look like him either. Howard said he heard that Fred has a giant one of himself too. Howard said Noel doesn't even have a snapshot of himself.
Howard said he had a feeling Noel was sitting there while Ron called. Noel said he thinks Ron was partaking in the urine. Howard had no idea what he was talking about. Noel said it was a British term. Howard had him write it down. He wrote it down but Howard still had no idea what he meant. Noel said he was just making a joke. He had him confused with the urine mention. Noel said it was just a polite way of saying it.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to Noel and mentioned that they get in touch with him through a bar he hangs out at. They even take his mail over there. Noel said he has a pint and a chat over there very often. Noel said he gets the gossip about the area over there.
Howard said he thinks that the Jimi Hendrix experience was one of the greatest bands ever. He said Cream was right up there too. He said that he feels like giving him a few bucks. Noel asked for $100,000. Howard wasn't going to give him that much. He played a song to end the show. Robin thought she knew what song it was. It was The Who so Howard shut if off. He said he didn't like The Who. Howard said that he could play Hendrix but that's not going to help Noel out. He's not getting any of the royalties. Howard told him he can go jump out a window if he wants. Howard found a Hendrix album and tried to figure out what song to play. Noel had a request so Howard ignored it and played ''If 6 Was 9.'' Howard played some of that and sang some of the lyrics. He played some of the song and asked how long it took to make that album. Noel said they did most of them on the second take so it didn't take too long. He said it may have been 72 hours or so. They wrapped up and ended the interview after that.
In the clip Howard and Robin had a Mystery Guest. Howard knew who it was so he gave Robin some clues. Robin thought it was George Kirby at first. Howard took some calls from the audience to see if they could figure it out. Howard took one call and the guy guessed who it was right away. He said he recognized his laugh. Dom asked what the caller wins. Howard said he doesn't have anything.
Howard talked to Dom about working with Loni Anderson and Burt Reynolds. He asked him about being married but Dom didn't want to get into that. Howard asked Gary to get back in there with his prize information. Howard said Dom was supposed to be a mystery to him too but that didn't work. Dom said they couldn't get the blindfold over that nose. Howard said that he's not Jewish. Dom didn't believe that.
Howard asked Dom if he's Buddha. Dom said he is and if you want good luck just stick your finger in his belly button. Howard and Dom joked around about that for a minute. Howard said Buddha isn't a good looking guy. Dom said that you can't rub Jesus' belly for luck. He said Buddha likes that.
Howard asked Dom how much he weighs. He guessed 200 pounds but Dom laughed. Howard said he could get him to lose weight in a month. Howard said he lost 60 in a month. Dom asked how he could do that. Howard said he'd have to write it down for him.
Howard asked Dom what the weirdest thing is that he's ever done. Dom said that he remembers some towels and a 9th hole on a golf course. Dom didn't seem to want to get into too many details. He said it was about 4 in the morning and he was kind of young.
Dom asked the caller what he does for a living. The caller said he works in a saddle shop. Howard said that he won a mattress for winning the game. Howard cut the guy off in the middle of a compliment for Robin. Howard said he's the star of this show and he doesn't need that. Howard said he likes when he gets the compliments.
Howard said they had to take a commercial break. Dom told him that he's totally insane but charming. That led to them talking about how strict Howard's dad was and that's why he ended up the way he is. Howard said they were very good people but his parents were very strict. Howard said he can't take them now. Dom asked if his kids are very conservative. Howard said he thinks they are. Robin said he's a very strict father too. Howard said he's not. He gives them everything they want. Robin said that has nothing to do with being strict. Howard and Dom spent a few minutes talking about his friends like Mel Brooks and people like that.
Howard went to break and did a live commercial and ended up talking about how he changed his air filter over the weekend. At first he said he did it himself but then he said he had Ronnie help.
Howard talked to Dom about how he used to watch him on the Mike Douglas Show. He said that he used to love him on there. Dom said he loved doing the show too. He said he did it once where he had an orangutan touching him and he almost ended up kissing the thing. Dom told Howard some other things about how that show worked.
Howard told Dom that Mike Douglas was like part of the family because they would watch it while they were eating dinner. He said it was like they were all in the kitchen together.
Howard said that Dom is going to meet with the Pope. Howard asked what he's going to talk to him about. Dom said he'll be in awe. Howard said he has the Pope's hotline number. He said they answer questions about the Pope on that. He said he's going to call it and they can ask some questions. Howard said he can ask about his genitals. Dom said you don't ask the Pope about that. Howard asked Gary where the number is.
Howard gave Dom some plugs for his new TV show. Howard spent a minute talking to him about that. They talked about some of the people Dom has worked with over the years.
Howard and Robin went over some of the movies Dom was in and there were a bunch that they thought were great. Howard had Dom pretend to speak to the Pope. Howard put echo on Dom's voice. Howard played the part of the Pope. Howard tried talking to him but Dom wasn't really playing along. Howard told him to play along and told him to kiss his special ring. It was a whistle ring.
Howard took another break. After the edited out break Howard talked to Dom about his new TV show and gave him some more plugs. Then they called the Pope hotline number. They never got through. Howard spent a couple more minutes with Dom and then wrapped up. Howard told Dom to tell Burt about the show and get him to come on. He told him to tell Mel Brooks about them too. Dom said he's not sure he wants to do that. They wrapped up after that.
Fred ''Rerun'' Berry Calls In. 6/16/99. 7:50am
Actor Fred ''Rerun'' Berry called in this morning. Fred played ''Rerun'' on the 1970's show ''What's Happening'' as the jolly fat, dancing guy. He's now trying to get Columbia Pictures to release the Rerun character so that he can go out and play the part. Right now he's not able to use the character because Columbia owns the copyright. Howard asked him why he doesn't just go out and play other characters. Fred said that he was typecast and can't do that and make money. He said he just wants to be Rerun. He's out of money and taking just about any job he can now. He's doing independent films and making speeches somewhere. He also mentioned something about a dance school. He claims that at one point when ''What's Happening'' was restarted in 1985 he was offered $15 million for a merchandising deal but it fell through because Columbia wouldn't allow it. Howard also found out that Fred has been married 5 times to 3 women. He has a couple of kids and one of them he won't speak to because he brought him on the Leeza Gibbons show as a dead beat dad. It was true that he was a dead beat but it wasn't nice to tell everyone on TV about it.
In the clip Howard introduced Joey Ramone as the guy who left the best voice mail on Gary's answering machine. He played the clip of Joey leaving the unintelligible message where Joey says ''Welcome to my nightmare...''
Howard had Joey come in and said that he's a real rock star unlike Jon Bon Jovi. Howard said that Marky was there with Joey too. Howard said that they are real rock stars.
Howard said he has thought about dying his hair black like they do. Joey had some grey in there. Howard said he sees him with some red highlights. Joey said he saw Dennis Quaid with some blonde in there. Howard said he's thought about doing the jet black thing. Mark does that.
Howard said Joey has really changed. He said he thinks they should do a Chinese tour or maybe a Russian tour. Joey said they don't want them over in Russia. He said they think they're too radical. Mark said they'll probably end up there some day.
Howard said Joey lives the lifestyle of a real rock star. He said he doesn't put on the voice or anything like certain other people. Howard did an impression of Jon Bon Jovi talking and goofed on him for a minute. Howard said they're not his friends anymore. Howard said that they were his friends when they weren't famous but then they hit big and they screwed him. Howard said he had them on the show when they were nobodies. Howard said they went on every other station and didn't come on his show. He said that they claimed it was the record company that kept them off.
Howard said he used to play the Ramones stuff back when he was starting out in radio. He said he doesn't play music anymore so that's why he doesn't play their stuff.
Howard said that the guys got set up for Pet Cemetery and they got to see Fred Gwynn in that. They talked about how he still looks like Herman Munster and he can't get away from that. Howard said he should play the interview Stuttering John did with him.
Howard asked Joey if he's stopped drinking. Joey said he's cut back but he still drinks. He doesn't go to meetings or anything. He said he doesn't believe in that stuff.
Howard talked to Joey and Marky about working with Debbie Harry and if Joey had ever seen her naked. Joey said it was only in the movies. Howard said that he must have seen her naked. Howard said Joey is a very private guy and he didn't realize that.
Howard asked what song they should play. They told him to play ''Pet Cemetery.'' Howard played some of the song and said they've really grown a lot over the years. He said the song of this song is really different. He said they've never done anything like this before. Howard said he liked it. Howard played some of the guy's stuff from their album. Howard said he likes that too.
Howard had Robin read some news. Joey and Marky stuck around for that. They talked about Morton Downey Jr. and his failing TV show. They goofed on him for a few minutes. Howard said the guy waited his whole life to be a celebrity and now it's going to be taken away from him.
Robin read some more news with Joey and Marky commenting on the stuff she was bringing up. Joey was going on and on a little long so Howard said he really had to wrap it up and let Meg do her thing. Robin tried to get in more news stories but Joey kept interrupting. Robin kept going though. Howard wrapped up and thanked Joey and Marky for coming in. Howard said he really had to end the show.
DJ Meg Griffin came in to visit but he was out of time. Howard said he thinks he looks like Joey so he's surprised that she's not more attracted to him. Meg said Howard doesn't put out records like Joey does. Howard said Meg first turned him on to their music. Howard said that she forced him to play their stuff.
In the clip Howard was doing his Out of the Closet Stern character and introduced Fred as Mr. Blackswell. Howard said he had Nancy Kulp on the phone so he had to talk to her. Howard got her on the line and said it was such a thrill for them. Nancy said she heard that he doesn't speak the truth all the time. Howard said of course he does. Howard introduced Fred and Robin to her. She didn't seem to understand that Howard was doing a character. Howard said that Jane ran for office. Howard said she ran as Nancy Kulp and not Miss Jane. Nancy said she liked that character and she had fun doing that. Howard asked if Mr. Drysdale was good in the sack. She said she wouldn't know. She said she never did anything with him.
Jane told Howard she was told to be very careful when she called in. She thought she was speaking to the wrong network with Howard and Fred doing their gay voices. Howard assured her she was on the right show.
Howard said that Jed Clampett went on TV and campaigned against Nancy. Nancy said that he did a really dirty campaign. She said she didn't want to discuss what their relationship was like on the show either. She said she didn't get along with Buddy (Ebsen) too well. She said she didn't get paid very well for doing the show either. Howard was pretending he needed smelling salts and oxygen after hearing that.
Howard asked Nancy about the pay she got and how the residuals weren't all that big back then. She said they did 39 shows a season back then and these days they only do 22. She said that you'd think that they'd still be making money but not anymore. Howard said it's really not fair that they don't keep getting paid.
Howard asked Nancy about Granny and if she still sees her. Nancy said she died so she's not around. She said that she really misses her. She said that they were very close back when they shot the TV show. Robin asked if she lost her respect for Buddy when he did that other TV show. She said she lost it long before that. She said he is an interesting guy though.
Howard and Robin asked Nancy about some of her other relationships and found out more about her life. They talked to her about working. They wrapped up a short time later.
Comedian Rodney Dangerfield Comes In. 05/25/04. 8:35am
Comedian Rodney Dangerfield came in after Howard kissed his ass a little bit talking about all of the great movies he did. Howard told Rodney that he wouldn't even leave the house if he were him. He'd just sit back and enjoy the rest of his life. Howard asked Rodney why he doesn't just hang out. He's written a book and he's got all kinds of stuff going on. Rodney said he's happy doing stuff like that.
Rodney told Howard that he has more heart surgery coming up soon. He's had that done before and also had brain surgery. Howard heard about the brain surgery from Jim Carrey around the time that it was going on. Then he decided not to call him because he was afraid Rodney would think he was calling because he was dying. Rodney told Howard to call no matter what because he doesn't mind either way. Rodney went on to talk about his book. Howard said he read it and it made Rodney's life seem pretty sad. Rodney told Howard about some of the stuff that went on in his life. His mother never hugged or kissed him the whole time he was growing up. Howard said he wanted to hug him after hearing that. Rodney said he ended up okay even after that so it's not that big of a deal.
Howard asked Rodney about his father after that. He respected him because he married his mother even though she wasn't that nice of a person. He got along with his father okay even though he only saw him for 2 hours a year. Howard didn't know how he could say that he was a good guy even though he didn't spend any time with him. Rodney kept bringing up the fact that he married his mother because he knocked her up. Rodney says that he is able to have a relationship with his kids but it's tough because of their attitudes toward him. He said that the kids don't mean to give him a hard time, they just do because they're kids.
Rodney didn't want to get into stories about his kids because he'd feel guilty about doing that. He said he just went to dinner with his daughter the other night. He said he just doesn't like the way they think sometimes. He told Howard he did everything for his mother and had to work to make money for himself. He said she never gave him any money.
Howard wondered what FOX is going to do with the rights to the book. They're apparently going to make it into a movie. Howard and Robin wondered who would play the part of Rodney. Rodney said that they need to find some kids to play the younger kids, and then the 20-50 year old Rodney. Rodney said he would play himself in the later years of course.
Howard said that Rodney is a legal marijuana smoker so Howard asked him if he'd like to light up right there in the studio. Rodney said he has a lot of problems that the pot helps take care of. Rodney said he smokes quite a bit of the stuff at this point and he feels that it's always the right time to smoke it. Rodney said the hard part is to find the pot. He said his doctors have told him not to smoke cigarettes and that pot is okay. He's been smoking the stuff since he was 21 years old.
Howard brought up another part of Rodney's book. Rodney claims that at the age of 5 there was a guy who would pay him a nickel so he'd sit on his lap so he could kiss him. Rodney said that he did it for the nickel and the guy told him not to tell anyone about it. The guy would kiss him for 5 minutes and give him the nickel. That was big money back then and he was doing it every day. He doesn't remember the guy touching him at all, it was just kissing.
Howard gave Rodney a plug for his book ''It's Not Easy Bein' Me : A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs'' which is available today. He was going to take some phone calls but Rodney accidentally called him Harold.
Rodney talked about the upcoming surgery he has scheduled. They have to replace one of the valves in his heart with a pig valve. Howard asked him if he believes in an afterlife. Rodney said he doesn't and asked if a gorilla comes back. Rodney also talked about how he never really was happy in his life unless he creating something. He said he's a perfectionist and he has suffered because of that.
Howard and Rodney continued to talk about the afterlife thing. Rodney said that he's an atheist all the way because he's a logical man and he doesn't believe in any of that.
Dominic Barbara called in and asked why we have to hear about all of the sad stuff in Rodney's life because he's such a comedic genius. Rodney said that it was because of the huge advance he got to write the book. Vinnie Favale called in and said that there's a great article in Entertainment Weekly about Rodney. He said that he seems happy when he's performing music. He recorded a music CD. Howard had him sing a little bit but Rodney didn't think he could sing all that well there in the studio.
A couple of phone callers asked Rodney about some various things. Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Rodney how great he was. Another guy asked him how great it was to grab Juliette Lewis' ass in ''Natural Born Killers.'' Rodney talked a little bit about that and then told a story about how he did his thing with this chick who followed him off the subway one time. He said that he got worried about not having used anything with her so he went to a hospital and got checked out by a female doctor. He said he ended up getting excited and the doctor pretended not to notice. He ended up asking her out after that.
Rodney told Howard about his experiences with Sam Kinison and how great he was. Howard asked him if he thinks there are any comedians out there that are as good as Kinison was. He said there are some kids coming up that are good. He mentioned someone by the name of Marty Balafski or something like that. Even Rodney wasn't sure of the guy's name.
One phone caller asked Rodney if Jackie (the Joke Man) ever gave him the money he owed him. Rodney said he never got that money back and Jackie is who he is and hopes that he will get that money back some day.
A guy called in as the late Bob Hope and told Rodney he'd see him in 15 minutes. Howard didn't seem to think that was all that funny. Rodney and Howard spent a couple more minutes talking about his father who was surprised that he grew up as intelligent as he did. Chaunce Hayden called in and asked him if he thought Dice Clay was a big disappointment as far as his career went. Rodney said he didn't have high hopes for Dice. Howard dropped that subject after that and asked him who he thought was great. Rodney mentioned Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler as being great. Howard wrapped up the interview after that. He gave him another plug for the book and went to commercial break.
Siobhan The Intern Interviews Tony Randall. 10/6/98. 8:00am
Siobhan the intern went out an interviewed actor Tony Randall at some Diabetes charity event. Howard played the tape with Siobhan sitting in. Gary told Howard that it seems that the 70-something year old Randall was hitting on Siobhan. Here are some of the questions she asked:
In the first clip they played John interviewing Sonny Bono. Howard said they had a lot of questions for Sonny and he stuck around and answered the questions. Howard said they didn't expect him to stick around. Howard said the guy sounds kind of fragile when you hear him speak. He said you almost don't want to bother the guy. John had a bunch of goofy questions for him and he said he didn't even want to ask them.
Howard said that Sonny was lucky enough to bang Cher and all he had to do was listen to her. He said that he could have just let her do her thing. Howard played more of the interview and John asked Sonny about being Mayor of Palm Springs. Howard wondered how that happened. He said he must have been for some issue the whole town was behind. Robin said she figured it was a buffoon kind of thing and it was just a goof.
John asked Sonny if he was taller than Gary Coleman. He asked if he thinks he'll ever get to see Cher's tattoo. Sonny was answering the questions and having fun with them. He didn't seem to mind that they were goofy. Howard said he's kind of a cool guy. He could have made the questions more intense if he knew he'd stick around.
At one point someone asked John if he was from Howard Stern. John just kept going. Howard told him to just talk to those people to keep them from distracting him. John continued on and asked if he thinks that Richie Sambora could ever be the mayor of Palm Springs. John asked if he smokes pot. Sonny said he never did. Then he told his people that it was alright to let him interview him.
Howard played more of John's interview and he had a bunch of questions about various things. Sonny stuck around and answered them all. He ran out of questions. John was done and Sonny hadn't walked away like so many other celebrities.
One of the guys who was standing over John told him ''Sonny beat you...'' like he had won a fight. Howard said the guy was just acting normal and answering questions. He didn't beat anyone. Howard said he learned a few things about Sonny in that clip.
Next up we heard Howard playing some audio of Stuttering John interviewing Madeline Kahn. His first question to her was ''Who are you and what do you do?'' She told John who she is and what she did to make herself famous. Howard wondered where she got that strange accent she has. Madeline asked her who John was. He explained who he was.
Then John ran into Dennis Hopper. He asked him some really offensive questions like ''Did you ever void on a woman?'' Howard didn't think he approved that one. Robin said Gary claims he crossed that one out. Howard said he didn't see anything crossed out. Howard said that it all goes to hell if he's not there to edit. Hopper didn't stick around long.
Howard said John also ran into Mr. Rogers. John asked Mr. Rogers if he'd like to ''machine gun Barney.'' Mr. Rogers asked ''Would you?'' and said that anyone who wants to do anything for kids is okay with him. John asked why he thinks Captain Kangaroo is so bitter. Mr. Rogers didn't think he was. His people came in and pulled him away from John as he was asking him if he thinks they should have an electrocution for OJ Simpson.
Howard said it's not easy to ask that stuff. He wondered about how they pulled him away. John said there were kids there and they were telling him that's why they were pulling him away. John said he seemed like he would have stuck around for more. John was going to read the questions he was supposed to ask but he had to leave to get them. Howard had the list in front of him. He read through the list and moved on.
Next up we heard the clip of Howard playing John's interview with Walter Cronkite. John asked if he thinks that the quality of news has slipped since he got out. Walter said he does believe that it has. John asked Walter a question that had the word ''frigging'' in it and Cronkite got worked up about his ''bad word.'' He said that's the problem with the business today. He told him to upgrade his language and he'll do something for our civilization. Walter said it's a bad word. John asked if he would ever co-anchor with Howard Stern. Walter said ''of course not.'' Howard wondered what it's like to be that old and that humorless.
Howard played some audio of John interviewing Bea Arthur. Howard had some of her talking before John asked her questions. Howard said she sounds kind of worn out in that clip. He said that it might be time to get out of the business. Howard played the audio of John asking her what she thinks of Howard Stern. Bea said that Howard made some nasty cracks about her. She said that she doesn't listen to him anymore. She said that she used to wonder how he could say some things but then he hit her. She said it's kind of like Hitler. She said that they eventually came for her. Howard said that was an interesting analogy. He wondered what happened to having a sense of humor.
Howard played more of the audio and John asked Bea who she would like to nail most. She didn't get what ''nail'' meant so John had to explain it to her. Bea laughed at that one. She said she's not going to tell a room full of people that answer.
Next up we heard Howard playing some audio of John interviewing Raul Julia. In that one John asked Raul claims he didn't know who Howard Stern was. John asked a bunch of questions but he didn't know what John was talking about with any of them. Howard said it was kind of a fun interview.
Next up was Howard playing audio of John interviewing Charlton Heston. John said he had met him the night before at a show he did. Howard had some fun goofing on Heston before getting to John's questions. Howard was doing an impression of him and goofing on the way he talks.
Howard said he knew that Heston would be a hard on and he wouldn't put up with anything. John said he only got to one question. Howard and the guys were wondering what kind of name ''Charlton'' is anyway. They goofed around with that for a couple of minutes. Howard said John must have felt dumb just saying his name.
John asked Heston ''Do you think Ronald Reagan remembers who you are?'' Heston's people told him he wasn't answering questions and Heston mumbled ''Outrageous.'' They yelled at John to get away from them. Then someone started making weird noises. Howard said he thought it was Jackie. John said that Charlton pushed the mic down and then pushed him. He said the publicists started screaming at him. John said they were weird noises. Howard replayed it so they could hear them again.
Howard read through some of the questions John didn't get to. They were even more outrageous. Howard said he wanted to ask a hair question but wanted to veil it. He said he was going to ask ''Why didn't Yule Brenner ever wear a toupee?'' He had questions about OJ and what he thinks should be done about the black crime problem.
Today's From the Grave special was over around 11:00am.
In the clip we heard Howard bringing Ike Turner into the studio with his manager Ted. Howard found out that Ted has worked with Don King so he talked to him about that for a few seconds.
Howard said he wanted to get Ike's story out there. He told him he should fill that book with sex. Ike said he'll have that in the book. Howard said he should do that and he'll have a good book. Ike said he will.
Howard said Ike must have money. He had a nice watch on. Ike said he has some nice watches but he has some in the pawn shop. Howard said he wanted to get his side of the story out there. Robin said she saw the movie and according to that he should be back in jail. Ike said that's from her point of view. Robin said that's from the movie's point of view. Ike said he had one fight with Tina Turner in the car and it was just the one fight.
Howard told Ike that Robin has bigger boobs than Tina ever did. Ike said Tina had fried eggs on her chest. He said that the boobs she has now showed up since he left. Howard asked if he misses her. Ike said he misses her like he misses a hole in his head.
Robin asked Ike if the movie was true where he had the gun and put it on the dresser one night. Ike said they're doing that to make him the villain. Ike said they're in Hollywood so they're making it bigger than it was. Ike said he hasn't seen the movie and he won't go see it. Howard said he's not sure he wants to see it but only because he doesn't like going out to the movies.
Howard said Ike is being made the victim by the white man. Ike said he never really thought about it like that. He said white and black it doesn't matter really. Ted got on mic and told Howard that Ike knew Tina was a star before anyone else did. Ike said she used to look like Olive Oyl when he first met her. He said that people in New York should know that. He said he would never put her down but that's a fact. Ike said this was in 1960. He said they were playing the Apollo back then.
Howard asked if Tina is bald under that hair of her's. Ike said it's just a wig and this is what he wasn't supposed to tell. He said that Tina used to be really small and she put something in her dress to give her a big butt. He said that came after their son was born. He said she started to fill out more after that.
Howard said he wants to meet Ike's new woman in a little while. Howard said he wants to get back to the beginning now. Howard asked Ike if he wasn't attracted to Tina. Ike said they were more like brother and sister. He said it took 4 years after they met until they did anything.
Ike told Howard about how he and Tina got together. He said he didn't drink back then but he did get drunk one night and she was helping him out and getting him to drink black coffee. He said he ended up screwing her and after he screwed her he didn't even know he did it. He said he felt guilty when he did it. He said he felt like he had screwed his sister or something. Ike said she was into him and she wanted it from him.
Howard said that Ike was known as Mr. St. Louis and all of the girls wanted him back then. Ike said that she wasn't even his speed at that time. Howard asked if she was turned on and if she fell in love. Ike said that's all in the book.
Robin asked about him being married to Tina. Ike said he's been married 10 times. He said that he never married Tina. He said that they have a lot of lies in that movie that Robin saw. Ike said they got divorced but they had never gotten married. Howard said he's the most fascinating man he's ever met.
Howard asked Ike about how he named Tina ''Tina Turner.'' Ike said he did come up with that name. Howard said Ike was in a good position there and he took her along with him.
Howard said Ike is into some new music and they have to talk about that. He said he has to take a break first though. Howard asked Ike if he has any shows going on around there. Ike said he's not doing them yet. He has to put the shows together first. Howard said he wants to know more about the orgies he had and things like that. They went to break a short time later.
After the edited out break Howard came back with Ike and said he heard a mouth full during the commercials. Howard said that the new girlfriend came in too. He said she's a beautiful, blonde, white woman. Howard said she and Ike are a couple. Howard asked Ike if he's cheating on her. Ike said he isn't doing that.
Howard asked the girlfriend about the skimpy dress she had on and how she met Ike. She said she met him before he went to jail. She used to work with his son. Howard said Tina could be her grandmother. Howard said it looks like a train hit her face. Howard asked the woman if she fell in love at first sight. She said she didn't but Ike told her that he was going to make her his wife.
Howard said this woman must weigh like 110 pounds at the most. She said she wishes. Howard asked if she is going to be moulded into Tina. Ike said she's better than Tina. Ike said they want Tina to come on stage with her and they're going to offer her $2.5 million to do one show with him. Ted said they're going to make that happen and they're going to let Ike go on first.
Ike told Howard and Robin about this woman who went to shoot Tina but she ended up shooting herself. He said that she found out Tina was pregnant and she ended up getting scared and shot herself. Ike said he went into the room to see what was going on and the girl locked herself in the bathroom. He said the bullet went through her lungs and through her heart. He said he picked the gun up and got his fingerprints on it. He said he ended up calling the operator and had them send an ambulance. Ike said she was telling him not to shoot her as they were working on her. He said he had a reputation for carrying a gun back then so it made him look bad.
Howard asked Ike about the orgies and the drugs that he did. Ike said he didn't do anything until 1970. He said he went crazy doing them around that time though. Ike said he was into drugs but he didn't want to say who it was that got him started. He said that it would have been Redd Foxx or Elvis or someone like that. He wouldn't give a specific name. He said he got some cocaine and he tried it out. He said he was told that it could burn his nose. He said he ended up trying it out and didn't feel anything but he was up all night writing songs.
Ike told Howard that he has to read the book to find out more about all of this. Howard said he wanted to know who started the orgy. Ike stopped talking. Howard asked where he was. Ike eventually came around but he wasn't giving details about certain things. Howard had to take another break but he wanted to know about the orgy thing. Ike said he started having sex at the age of 6 and he did the orgy thing at like 16. He told Howard he really has to read the book. They spent a couple more minutes talking but then had to take another break. Howard had to correct Ike about using the term ''tits'' on the air. Howard said he can't say that on radio. He had to call them breasts.
After an edited out break Howard came back and got back to Ike. Howard said that Ike is grooming his new girlfriend to do shows with him. Ike said he'll be singing too. Ike said he does a song every day. Howard said Ike wrote all of those songs for Tina. Ike said she wasn't into writing that much. Ike said she started learning to write but he doesn't know what she's doing now.
Howard went over what they learned about Ike. He went over some of the stuff they already talked about and found out some new stuff. Howard asked Ike about getting Tina to use the mic as if it were a man's penis. Ike said that was his idea. He told Howard about how that came about.
Howard asked Ike if he was upset with Tina for breaking up the group. Ike said he wasn't too upset with her. He said that they ended up having a fight and she ran away from him. He said he doesn't blame her for wanting to get away from him. He said that he had a lot of women that he was with and they were together 24 hours a day. He said that he was with them all at the same time. Howard asked Ted what he thinks about all of this. Ted said he loves this guy and he thinks it's all amazing to be behind the scenes.
Howard asked Ike about what happened after he got locked up with the coke. Ike said that there were a lot of other lies in that story. He said that the story about him shooting the paper boy is just not true. He said that they ended up sending him to jail for seeing something thrown out of his car. He said that this girl threw some crack out of the car. He said that was the worst thing to be doing. He said that he got out of it for a little while but he got out of jail and got right back into it. He said you really have to want to give it up. He said you're very vulnerable when you get out. He said crack can turn a queen into a hooker.
Howard said Ike gave one of the best quotes ever. He said that it wasn't very clean. He said that he said if you want to get him you have to bait the trap with a woman's private parts. Howard said he can't remember anyone's quotes other than that one.
Howard said Ike has been with them for an hour and he's had sex with all of them. Howard asked if Ike still has money. Ike said he's doing ok. Ted said he has a good contract that's very lucrative. Howard said a lot of fools sell their publishing. Ike hasn't done that. Howard said that he wants to walk down the street with Ike and his girlfriend to see the reaction out on the street. He wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Comedian Mitch Hedberg Sits In During The News. 03/17/05. 9:35am
Comedian Mitch Hedberg came in to hang out during Robin's news. Howard spent a short time talking to Mitch about his past drug problems. Mitch told Howard that he's got his drug use under control and he only uses them for the creative part. Mitch also told Howard about how he recently took a limo home from a college gig he did and felt like a fool when he ran out to the limo to escape the fans and then had to sit there and wait for the limo driver to try and maneuver the thing out of the parking lot. Howard read that Mitch was going to be the ''next Seinfeld'' but Mitch said that never materialized. Mitch had a pilot deal for FOX that didn't go anywhere. He said he's stuck doing shows on the road but he enjoys that. He told Howard about a meeting he had out in Hollywood with a guy who said he saw him as a tennis instructor as a role on a TV show. Mitch said he just nodded his head in agreement and played along with it. Howard said he sees Mitch as a drug dealer or a serial killer with a heart. Howard heard that Mitch had a joke about satellite radio. Mitch told the joke that went something like ''I was listening to XM radio and they don't have a lot of commercials. After a half hour I wonder 'what should I buy?'' He also said something about why you're allowed to curse on satellite radio... because no one is listening.
Howard played a bit that Richard Christy did as Rod Stiffington with Lucky the Leprechaun talking to an author, Bill Verkest, who wanted to plug his book. Lucky was being very rude and asking the author a bunch of really rude questions which were so insulting that the author hung up on them. Howard said the guy was a good sport and he's got a book called ''A Family Matter: A Guide to Organizing Your Personal Estate'' which is available at AFamilyMatter.net.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about last night's ''Survivor.'' He spent some more time talking to Mitch about his career as well. Mitch said that he can make some good money being on the road and he didn't know he'd be able to do that. Artie told Howard that he's a huge draw for comedy shows. Mitch said he spends a lot of his money on stuff and he's not even sure where it goes. He said he hires people to do things for him that he just doesn't feel like doing. Mitch also spends money on sunglasses and that's his thing. Mitch is married and goes on the road with his wife who is also a comedian. The two of them travel in their RV and really enjoy it. Mitch said he didn't drive the RV out to New York so it's sitting at LAX right now. Howard said he heard that he was living in Central Park and had a great view down there. He had Robin start her news shortly after that.
Tommy Gallagher, a trainer from ''The Contender,'' called in and told Howard they were inviting him to the final, live show on May 24th. Artie said he thinks the final show is going to be on March 28th and they may not even make it to the final episode. Howard said he'd think about it because it was on a Tuesday night. Howard said he'd love to go out to Vegas to see the fight. Tommy said they'd even fly Howard in. Howard said he shouldn't even be so worried about being at work every day because he's leaving the company at the end of the year anyway. He should slack off for a few days and just go out to Vegas and enjoy the fight. Howard said that now is the time to screw off and do what he wants. He has a weird work ethic and feels compelled to show up to work every day. He's leaving that place and going to the new job the next day. He's still remaining loyal to the company even though they're kind of screwing him over. That led to Howard talking about ''The Osbournes'' and how Sharon really tried to screw the company that she worked for. He said that really pissed him off because she was screwing over the people she worked with.
Ralph called in to tell Tommy what the problem is with The Contender. He said that the fights are great but people are just sick of reality TV shows. Howard said that's not true because Paris Hilton's show is still a hit. Ralph really didn't have anything bad to say about the show, he was basically just saying that they weren't getting viewers, that was there problem. Howard hung up on him and said that he's going to write a hate letter about Ralph to his own show after hearing that. Howard told Tommy he'd get back to him about the Las Vegas thing.
Howard talked a little bit about how confused people are about him still being on the radio. Howard said that Beth was down in Florida arguing with a woman at her hotel about whether or not Howard was on satellite yet. The woman insisted that he had already moved. Howard said a guy at a restaurant he was at was jerking him around about the same thing. Howard is amazed that they don't know that he's still on regular radio at this point.
And Finally... 03/17/05. 10:25am
After taking a commercial break during the news Artie was still trying to ''eat through'' his stomach problems with a piece of cake. Howard said Artie grabbed a filet mignon and a giant piece of cake. Artie said his mother always had him eat when he didn't feel well when he was a kid. Mitch was saying that he enjoys Pringles. He joked about how he thinks Pringles originally wanted to make tennis balls but the day the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truck full of potatoes shows up instead. Howard had Robin finish up her news after that. Mitch hung around to comment on some of the stories Robin brought up.
The guys were talking about steroids in the news so Howard said that he probably needs them because he took a picture of himself nude before he went into the shower. He said that he was just taking a picture of his head but he saw how skinny his shoulders looked and took pictures of the rest of his body to see how he looked. He figured he could use steroids after seeing the pictures. Sal the Stockbroker came in and asked Howard why he's still taking nude pictures of himself at the age of 50. Howard told him to get out of the studio and had Robin finish up her news. They ended the show around 10:50am.
In the clip we heard Howard introducing David Carradine and talking about how he's gone out and kept working while other guys like Redd Foxx quit their hit show. Howard said that Redd Foxx walked away from that great show and a lot of people were depending on him to keep doing it. He said the thing that made Redd crazy was not having a window in his dressing room. He walked away from the show because he didn't have a window. He said they were paying the guy really well and doing all kinds of things for the guy and he walked away.
Howard said that David Carradine is going to be that character Kung Fu until the day he dies. Howard said he wants to talk to him and ask if he knows that he's supposed to stick with a part. Howard said had David on the phone so he picked up and talked to him about what he was just talking about with Redd Foxx. Howard said he must have had a lot of agents who told him not to keep doing Kung Fu. David said he spent years being out of the marital arts playing rapists to other things. Howard said he must have loved playing Kung Fu. David said it was a steady paying job. Howard said he had his years with the ladies too.
Howard said David's father was a great actor and to out do him must have been great. David said he wasn't trying to out do him. David said that he can't tell him what he was trying to do. Howard said his brother Bobby was trying to get away from the Revenge of the Nerds thing. David said he didn't try to get away from it. He said he just did Revenge of the Nerds 3 and he's going to be on the TV show too.
Howard asked David if he's really in debt to the IRS for a million dollars. David said he's not. Howard asked if he's a millionaire. David said he's not but he lives in a nice house and has some nice clothes. Robin said she had the feeling he didn't take care of his money. Howard said he thinks he did.
Howard brought up David's book and read some stuff out of that. He had some of his philosophy and things like that. Howard made up some of his own stuff as well. Howard spent a few minutes talking about that and then wrapped up the interview and let David go. Howard said the guy is kind of wacky. Jackie said he's a real party.
In the clip we heard Howard saying hello to Tiny Tim as he came in and said hello to everyone there. Howard introduced him to everyone. Tiny said that he had some trouble finding the building and some fans pointed him to the right place. Howard said he has to blow them off. Howard said Tiny must have been wondering what the window washers use on the windows.
Howard and Tiny talked about how he wouldn't let his girlfriend bring her dog up to his hotel room. Tiny said he doesn't like that. He said that his girlfriend lives in a very small place and he'd rather have her to his place. Howard said maybe Tiny is saying that he'd rather not tiptoe through the dog doody.
Howard told Tiny about his Underpants party video and showed him some of the tape of the girls who were there. Tiny said he was interested in seeing that. Howard said they weren't able to get the VCR working correctly in there. He didn't have any sound. Howard said that's from his TV special. Tiny wasn't aware of it apparently.
Tiny performed a song for Howard on his ukulele. He sang to Howard about dying of love. He told Howard about a woman he knew by the name of Snookie back in 1963. He told Howard that Warren Beatty liked her too.
Howard said Tiny was married a bunch of times but only twice legally. Tiny said he got married once so he wouldn't be committing adultery. He said that she was married so they got married and then broke up. He said that she left him after they got into a terrible argument. Tiny told Howard some details about that.
Howard asked Tiny about meeting Elizabeth Taylor years ago. Tiny said she blew him a kiss as she was getting in a car. Robin asked if he would take her today. Tiny said he's afraid not.
Howard and Tiny ended up talking about various household products. Tiny has very specific demands for his products and he gets upset when they change them. Tiny told Howard what problems he had with Comet and how he asked them to put the grit back in the product. Tiny told Howard that he keeps his bathroom very clean and even the maid is surprised at how clean it is. Howard said he had to take a break. He and Tiny spent a couple more minutes talking about Elvis and how he died of love. Tiny had details about that so he told Howard what he thought about that.
Howard went to break a short time later. After the edited out break Howard came back and spent a few more minutes talking to Tiny. He was going to play Dial-A-Date with him too. Howard took a call from a 22 year old woman who wanted to go out with Tiny. She said that she has a big supply of Comet in her bathroom. She said she likes when it turns blue. Tiny said that Ajax turns blue, not Comet.
The caller said she looks kind of like Kristy McNichol. Tiny said that's a very attractive girl. He said he took a picture with Kristy once. He said she's a very nice girl too. Tiny said that she fluctuates and her meter can run between 3.5 and 4. Howard asked if she can play Dial-a-Date. Tiny was fine with that. Howard was going to put her on hold but they ended up talking to her a little longer.
Howard took some more calls and found some more women to play Dial-A-Date. He found one girl who said she doesn't really look like anyone. She was only 16. Howard said they can't play with a 16 year old. Howard said they had to get her mom and dad's permission to play. Howard said he's not sure what the rule is. He said they may have to stick to 18 years and up. Gary told Howard that he checked with their General Manager and they can't do it. Howard said if the parent comes along then it's okay. Gary said he'd check again.
Tom came in and said that if there's a parent or legal guardian there then it's fine. Howard said that's what he just said. Howard kept going through the phones trying to find another woman. He hung up on a lot of people. He found one woman who was 40 but Howard thought she was too old. Tiny said she sounded young. Howard hung up on her. Then he found a 19 year old. Tiny thought she sounded interesting.
Howard wanted to make sure the 19 year old was really cute. Tiny said he'd have to actually see them to know if he'd be attracted. Howard said that she had better be very good looking. She said she thinks she is. Howard and Tiny talked about some other attractive women and Howard eventually told this one to hold on.
Howard had all three of the women on the phone. He took a quick break and after that they came back and played the game. Gary told Howard that one of the girls dropped out. Howard told him to find another one to play. Howard picked up the phone and had a busy signal. A second person dropped out of the game. Howard said he can't believe that he's being dropped so much. Tiny said he's not with a lot of women but the women he is with are very nice.
Howard picked up on the first caller again and found out they got cut off. Howard and Tiny spent a little time talking and then they got to the first contestant. Howard talked to her about what she would have to do to be with Tiny. Howard told her that she'd have to take some tests to make sure she's clean. Her name was Deeana. Howard asked her about what she's like and what she does for fun and things like that. She didn't want to have to take any tests. Tiny said he wouldn't make her do that. It was Howard's idea.
Howard talked to contestant 1 about her bathing and things like that too. Howard found her to be kind of odd just like Tiny is. Howard spent a few more minutes talking to Deeana and then got to number 2.
Howard picked up on Lisa and asked her a bunch of questions. She was the 22 year old. Howard asked her who she looks like. Lisa said she looks like a young Adrianne Barbeau. Howard asked if she's big breasted like she is. Lisa said she is. Howard asked Lisa some more questions and found out various things about her.
Tiny broke into song and sang his own version of Bon Jovi's ''You Give Love a Bad Name.'' Howard said he prefers some of his other songs.
Howard put Lisa on hold and picked up on the first player and asked her what her ideal date would be. Tiny had some things to say about that himself. Howard wanted him to talk to her and ask her some questions. Tiny told Howard about his first date with his wife and how that went.
Howard took another break and came back with Tiny again. Howard went over what they learned from the two contestants. He went over that with Tiny again and asked him to pick the girl he wanted to go on the date with. Tiny ended up picking Lisa, the second woman he spoke to. Howard got all of the women on the phone and broke the news to them. Howard said he thought number 1 was a shoe in. He told her that but Deeana was okay with who Tiny picked. She said she had some other household products that she wanted to mention. Howard said she's a loony bird and she should be locked up in a mental asylum. They spent a couple of minutes talking about that.
Tiny sang another song to end the segment. Howard let him get in some plugs. Tiny thanked everyone for their help. Tiny had a copy of his song ''Keep Me Satisfied'' too so Howard played that for him as they ended the segment.
Farrah Fawcett Comes In. 6/9/97. 7:45am
Farrah Fawcett came in to plug her Playboy issue and a Pay-Per-View that's coming up on Wednesday night. She came in and had a good time with Howard today. She said that she's a fan of Howard's two books. They talked about her career and how she met Lee Majors(The Six Million Dollar Man) 2 weeks after going to Hollywood. Near the end of the interview Howard asked Farrah if she'd kiss him. She agreed to do it and it must have been some kiss. Robin said she saw tongue although Howard denied it. After Farrah left Howard got a chance to see the video tape of the kiss and it even surprised him.
Comedian Robert Schimmel Comes In. 4/15/98. 6:50am
Whenever Bob Schimmel comes on the show he always has some great stories to tell about his wacky life. Today his story was about his ulcer. He was in the hospital recently because he lost like 40% of his blood because of this ulcer. His blood type is very rare so he was lucky to have even lived. Bob is in town to pitch a book that he'd like to call ''Fail With Flare''. He fails at things all the time in his life so he'd write a book about how to do it with flare. Bob hung out for a little while but didn't have anything to plug other than an appearance at a comedy club in New Jersey.
Today's From the Grave was over around 11:00am.
In the clip we heard Howard talking about a Mystery Guest they had coming in. Gary had some clues for them. Howard told Gary to bring the person in. Gary told Howard the first clue is that he's not dead. Howard said it could be Grandpa Al Lewis. He and Robin spent a little time talking about who it could be and then started asking the guest questions. The Mystery Guest started talking and Howard said he knew who it was. Howard wanted to start the game.
Howard asked if he was a rock musician. The guest said he was working on it and he soon would be. Robin asked if he did any acting. The guest said he has done a lot of acting but that's not what he's known for. Howard wasn't sure what else to ask. He was confused. The guest said that was a clue. Howard guessed it was Timothy Leary and he was right.
Robin said she was going to say it was G. Gordon Liddy. Howard said he was similar sounding. Howard asked Leary what he was doing in town. He was doing shows in the area. Howard asked if he was still doing acid. Leary told him that it was none of his business what he puts in his body. Howard said that he has to tell the truth if he's doing shows.
Howard told Leary that he did acid when he was younger. He said he did it quite a bit. Robin asked how many trips he had. Howard said maybe 15. He said it's not a lot compared to Timothy Leary. Howard said he thinks he lost a piece of his mind somewhere. He said he remembers having a memory and now it's gone. He said it threw off his health. He said when you put a foreign substance in your body it can really throw it off.
Howard said he once smoked hash all day and now he can ask Timothy about this. He said he didn't know what he was doing so he took too much. He took 4 hits and almost lost his mind. He said they don't tell you how much to take. He said one of them was a 4 way hit and he didn't know that.
Leary told Howard that he recommended that the government take over and issue instructions for these type of things. That never happened though.
Howard said he swore off all of that stuff. Howard said he can't believe Leary still partakes in that. Howard said when he got high that one time he was sitting by the Charles river waiting to come down. He said he thought he never would. He had a picture of a river on his wall and it started to move. He said the hair on his arms started turning purple and things like that. Howard said he had no idea what was going on. He said it was pretty cool actually. It was kind of like a Spielberg movie.
Howard said he swore off all drugs after that but he slipped once in a while. Howard said they were special occasions and he's not a very strong person.
Howard said he's kind of anti-drug now. Leary said he's with Nancy Reagan and just saying ''no'' for kids. He said he would like young people not to fool around with drugs. He said the republicans are so nasty and impolite though. He said they should say ''no thank you.''
Howard said it's great to meet Timothy. He said he has a lot of questions for him. Howard said he's trying to be healthy now.
Howard talked to Leary about working as a college professor. They talked about Leary hanging with the Beatles. Howard asked if he did acid with them. Leary said he guesses he can say that he did. He said he was with John and Yoko back in the late 60s when they weren't allowed into the country. He said that John got into some trouble for pot.
Howard asked Leary if he's still married. Leary said he has been through 7 3/4 wives. He said he's almost 70 years old. He said he lasted 10 years in each one. He said he's 67 years old now.
Howard said he didn't get the clue Gary gave earlier about Leary not being dead. Robin and Leary told him that it was a reference to a Moody Blues song where they mention his name and say he's dead. Howard wondered what that was all about. No one was sure where that came from.
Robin asked Leary about trying crack. Howard asked what she meant. Robin said that's what someone told her to ask. Leary said he's never talked about that before. Robin told Gary to get in there and tell her why he did that. Howard said they can get him in there and put him on the spot.
Gary came in and said he read in one of the bios that he went out to buy crack and he didn't think it was all that great. Leary said maybe that was a bio for Gary Hart or one of the PTL group. Leary said he doesn't talk about what he puts in his body. Howard asked if someone is after him. Leary didn't say why he doesn't talk.
Leary said that it's a right to be able to do this and he's pro-choice with drugs. He said the same people who want to control your brain are the same ones who want to control a woman's reproductive system. Howard said he's into controlling women's reproductive organs. He said he's ''pro-my-own-choice.''
Howard asked Leary about how much tookie he gets. He said he looks young. Howard said he looks like Grant Tinker kind of. Leary said he considers himself to be a middle of the road kind of person. He said in the 80s he's trying to be an average person. He said he's pleased that he says he looks kind of like a professor.
Howard said he wants to know how he makes a living. Leary said he has written 24 books. He said he writes about one a year. He does a lot of lecturing too. Leary said he can go around the world lecturing and making money doing it. He said he makes just enough to get out of town. Howard said he likes to know how people are making money.
Robin asked what he does with G. Gordon Liddy. Leary said he's a very funny man and he does it very straight. He said he's funny and intelligent. Howard said they met him and he was an okay dude. Howard said he was kind of afraid of meeting him but it turned out okay.
Howard asked if he ever saw Liddy naked. Leary said he didn't. Howard said he would like to know how big he is in his pants. Leary said ''Boo'' to him on that.
Howard asked Leary if he ever got it on with Yoko when he was hanging around her. He said he didn't do that. He said that he has seen Yoko lately though. He said she's very wealthy. They spent a minute talking about her.
Howard asked Leary if he has any famous friends. Leary said he has a lot of cool friends. He mentioned Grace Jones and one of the guys from Monty Python. He said that he's getting together with Grace Jones soon. He said she has a restaurant he likes to go to there in New York. They went to break a short time later.
After the edited out break Howard came back and talked to Leary about going to Woodstock. Howard asked if he knew Leslie West. Leary didn't know who he was. Howard asked if he was the one who brought the brown acid that they told everyone not to take. Leary said he did not.
Robin said she never took acid and the reason she didn't is because a teacher scared her to death. She said that they told her that she could lose her mind forever. Howard said they're right. He said that you do go wacky when you take that stuff. Robin said she bought it and she never tried it.
Howard took some phone calls and one guy asked about Fred Astaire and if he liked that kind of dancing. Leary said he likes Michael Jackson actually. Howard ended up yelling at the guy on the phone for having his radio up too loud.
Another caller asked Leary about the famous women he slept with. Howard said he doesn't talk about that. The caller asked if he got his tape he sent in with the Elephant Man remains. Howard said he did and he'll give him something for that.
Another caller said that he has tripped many times to the Moody Blues and others and he wanted to thank Leary for that. Howard said he doesn't know about these guys who do drugs. Robin said she feels that she can expand her mind in other ways. Howard said she's expanding alright. He said she's like a sex fiend. He said she's expanding her legs. Howard said they'll pack the audience with guys like that.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked about being in jail with Charlie Manson. Howard asked it that was true. Leary said that he felt sorry for Charlie. He said that he's in prison and anyone who ends up there is kind of sad. He said that there are many things in their life that they don't like and he's not sure that Charlie has the ability to change. Howard said that he's ready to take him and execute him. Howard gave that guy some tickets too.
Leary told Howard that he wanted to say he's a fan and he enjoyed being there. Howard put some echo on his voice and said that was kind of trippy. He said Leary must like that too. Howard asked if he does intense and listens to sitar music. Leary said he kicked that habit. He said he likes to move and change. He said he likes U2 and Grace Jones.
Howard said someone put on Grateful Dead music while he was tripping and that made him bum out even more. He said you don't have to listen to acid music while you're high. Howard wrapped up and thanked Leary for coming in after that.
In the clip we heard Howard coming out of break and saying they had a great show coming up. He said it was going to be hot. Howard said he is the Beatles of comedy and he had a guest there that outstripped him. He said they were going to do it as a Mystery Guest. Howard and Robin told him not to reveal who he was right away. Howard took some calls and let some fans ask questions trying to figure out who it was. They asked if he was on TV and found out he had a syndicated show. One caller asked if it was Uncle Floyd. Howard said that was not right. Howard said he does sound like that a little bit. Another guess was Chevy Chase.
Howard kept taking calls and said they were fashioning this after the show ''What's my Line.'' They weren't having any luck figuring out who it was. One guy guessed it was Eddie Murphy. Howard gave another clue saying this guy was white. Howard said they're going to be there all night if they keep this up. Robin gave another clue of ''Smock, smock.'' Howard said that sounds like a foul Yiddish word that you can't say.
Howard took more calls and someone finally guessed it was Steve Allen. Howard said it was a great thrill to meet him. Steve said he must be easily thrilled. Howard said there are many people who won't come on the show so it's great that he actually showed up. Howard said that he has to thank him for showing up.
Howard said he had Arnold Schwarzenegger there too. One of the guys was doing his Arnold impression. Howard said Steve Allen has put out a couple of albums. He told Jackie that Steve is a real comedian. Howard said he only has one album himself. He said he's not there to talk about his though. Howard said Steve can be clean and funny. Howard said he has to be dirty.
After an edited out commercial break Howard came back and went over some music they had coming up. Steve said he likes Michael Jackson. He likes the beat in his songs and in almost every one of his songs.
Howard played some of Steve's album where he makes a prank call to a towing service asking him to tow a car out. The guy on the line knew he was on a radio show.
Howard said they did a phony phone call themselves. They called the operator and asked her to look Jesus up. They told her that they heard he lived in Bayside. Howard said she played along with it too.
Howard said it was a pleasure to have Steve on the show. He thanked him for coming in and wrapped up with him.
In the clip we heard Howard talking about how they were out in Los Angeles doing shows. Howard told Kevin Cronin, from REO Speedwagon, to hang out if he wanted to. He said he had Frank Zappa coming in. Frank showed up a short time later. Howard told Frank he looks great and he looks very young. Howard said people tell him they look alike. Frank said they really do. He said Howard's glasses freak him out though.
Howard said that Frank has a couple of great kids and they're really nice. He said Dweezil gets a lot of tookie. They talked about how Ahmet is going to be doing the same. Robin said he's only 13 and he's already dating.
Howard talked to Frank about Dweezil coming on the show and talking about the women he's getting. They spent a minute on that.
Howard and Frank also talked about the supreme court and some of the things that were going on with them. Howard said he's going to go on TV and ask why they don't put Frank on the show. Frank said he got canceled from the show on a Friday and they called and asked if he would come back or embarrass them by saying no.
Howard told Frank that Kevin's wive lets him fool around. Kevin said that's not true. They just talked about that today and he hasn't decided if he's going to do that. Robin said it's just a test and he's going to fall into that crack. Kevin said he hopes so.
Howard took a break. After that edited out break Howard came back and talked to Frank about the women that have been throwing themselves at him. Frank wasn't sure Howard was telling the truth but Robin confirmed it.
Howard asked Frank if he wanted to play anything for them. Frank said he's out of practice and hasn't played for quite some time. He said he's trying to learn to play again.
Howard asked Frank about his son's taste in women and what he thinks when he brings home someone like Molly Ringwald. Howard said he would really enjoy that if he had a son like that. Frank told Howard that his son Ahmet's phone was ringing about 50 times while he was out last night. He said that kid has a lot of girls calling him.
Howard asked Frank about his battle with Tipper Gore. Frank said she's starting to go after home video now. He said that the stickers they wanted on the albums didn't work so now they're going after the lyrics. Howard said that he wishes he had a father like him that let his kids drop out of school at 15. Frank said he doesn't think they should be forced to go to school for longer than that.
Howard said he would ask Moon Unit out on a date. Frank said that it's up to her if she wants to go out with someone like Howard. Howard said Frank would probably kill him if he did that.
Howard asked Frank if he ever puts his foot down with the kids. Frank said the first thing you do is talk to them like they're people. Howard said he's not going to do that. He said his kids are property. He said he's not going to talk to them like people.
Howard said he had to take another break. He did a live commercial for some kind of apple juice sponsor. Howard told Frank about the product and how they put it in a brown bottle that looks like a beer bottle. Howard said you can look cool drinking this stuff. Frank said that's not his kind of product. Howard told him that this stuff pays the bills so just play along. Frank said he's all for it then. They spent a couple more minutes talking before Howard wrapped up and went to break.
In this clip we heard Howard and Fred doing their gay characters Out of the Closet Stern and Mr. Blackswell. They sang a song for Dick York to the tune of the ''Bewitched'' theme. Howard said he had Dick on the phone and picked up on him. Howard and Fred did some material for a couple of minutes before getting to Dick.
Howard got Dick on the phone and said that this was his favorite Dick. Howard told Dick that he wanted to get into some other things before talking to him about what he's into. Dick said he was with his first and only wife. Howard said that's very admirable.
Howard asked Dick why he left Bewitched. Dick said he was a married man and this witch was constantly making passes at him. He just had to get home to his wife. He said he was just joking.
Howard said that the two Dicks looked very similar. Dick said that they were very similar but he thinks that Dick Sargent was the taller dick.
Howard asked how many Dicks there were on the show. Dick told Howard about the three they had. Fred said that was more than he could handle.
Dick wondered who those people were in the studio with him and if they were real. They were all real. Dick didn't know what he was getting into.
Howard kept telling Dick that he was the best Dick. He said inch for inch, pound for pound, he's the best Dick. Dick wondered how they were getting away with all of this.
Howard and Fred sang a song for Dick that got him laughing. Howard said he was crying. Dick said it brought a tear to his ears.
Howard asked Dick if he ever had kids. Dick told Howard that he has 5 kids and 8 grandchildren. He said that he has done some TV shows too. Howard said he was on some Twilight Zone episodes. Dick said that's true and they continue to replay.
Howard spent a couple more minutes with Dick and then wrapped up with him. Dick told Howard that he grew up on radio and he enjoyed doing it when he was younger. They wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
In the clip we heard Howard meeting Bo Diddley for the first time. Howard asked him about his friends and thought he was saying that they were a-hole buddies. Bo said that's not what he meant. He said that's not the kind of buddy he wants. Bo told Howard that he has never had a homosexual experience. Howard asked if he's married. Bo said he's not. Bo said he's cool and he doesn't mess around. Howard said he thought that he was saying he's afraid of AIDS. Bo said that's true and he's being careful.
Bo said that he wrote a new song called ''I'm Not the One'' and that's because he only has one woman. Howard asked if he's been dating her a long time. Bo wondered why he was getting into his business. Howard said he saw he was living in a trailer in this movie he was in. Bo said that trailer is something he paid $68,000 for. He said they ain't cheap. Bo said he's not going to build anymore houses.
Howard kept interrupting and getting things wrong with Bo. Bo kept telling him ''No, no, no, no...'' Bo said he can always pick up and move his trailer home if he needs to get away from people who are bothering him.
Howard said he wanted to talk to him about the white man ripping him off. Howard said they stole his music. Bo said they didn't really rip him off. Howard said they did rip him off and he knows that. Bo said he would rather use the term thieves instead of ''white man.'' Howard said that Bo didn't know what he had when he was starting out. He said that he was asked to be on an album and then someone came up and told him to sign with him and the deal sounded good. Bo said they patted him on the back and gave him a new Cadillac. He said he thinks he paid for that thing about 90 times.
Bo told Howard that he was deprived of sending his kids to college and things like that. He said that it's not just the black man that gets ripped off. He said there are plenty of white guys who have been ripped off too.
Howard asked about religion too but Bo didn't want to get into that. Howard got into it anyway. He asked if Little Richard ever came on to him. Bo said they're close friends. He didn't seem to want to talk about that either. Bo said he wanted to talk about other things.
Howard and Bo talked about Jimi Hendrix and his death. They also talked about drug use and things like that.
Howard said that Buddy Holly ripped off Bo. Bo said he's not biter about that. Howard said he figured he was bitter. He said he's kind of disappointed that he's not bitter.
Howard had Bo's biography writer come in to talk to them. Howard spent a minute talking to that guy. The guy, Dennis, told Howard about what he's been doing with Bo. They were working on a book together.
Howard said that he wants to know about Bo's sexual liaisons and if he's had them with more than one woman at a time. Bo said that he's not a dirty dude and he doesn't think it's any of his business what he does. Howard said he would love to know if he felt up Janis Joplin. Bo said he isn't running a school.
At one point Howard told Bo that Ike Turner is a walking disaster and he had Bo cracking up. Bo couldn't stop laughing when he was trying to tell Howard a story about Ike. Bo and Howard were both laughing talking about him. Bo said that Ike was wire tapping the telephone poles in the alley where he lived. Bo wondered how dumb you can be.
Howard wanted Bo to play some guitar so he could sing along. Bo didn't want to do it. He said he can't play. Howard said that he knows how to play. He told Bo to just try it out. Bo started to mess around with it but he didn't seem to want to play. Bo said he felt stupid. Howard told him to forget it and put it down then. Robin said he plays with a different tuning than they had set up. Bo didn't like the guitar.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she knows Bo's real name which was Ellis McDaniels. Bo said ''Uh oh.''
Fred retuned the guitar for Bo so he could play the way he wanted. Bo played a little bit and Howard sang the song he wrote about Bo. Then Bo started to sing about how Howard ''don't make no sense.'' Howard and Bo went back and forth singing.
Howard had Robin read some news. She went through a few stories and Howard kept Bo around to talk to about some of those stories.
Howard asked Bo if he ever had sex between songs. Bo didn't say so Howard just assumed he had. Bo said he told Howard he was weird.
Robin read more news and Howard tried to get more out of Bo. He wasn't having any luck. Robin read through some stories and had one about Arsenio Hall changing his hair style. Bo said he was going to go on that show but he didn't want to be in the band like they wanted him to. He said he wanted to be with his own group. Bo said he would go on if they let him do that. Howard and Bo spent a minute talking about that and Howard assumed it was Arsenio who was the one who wanted him to play in that band. Bo insisted he wasn't but Howard didn't believe it. Robin read through some more stories and Howard wrapped up with Bo a short time later.
In that clip we heard Howard introducing Milton Berle. Howard said that people have loved what they've played of his before. Howard said Milton looks great. Milton said he had a birthday a few days ago. Howard asked how old he is. Milton asked how old he looks. Robin said he looks 60. Milton thanked her for that. Howard said he has to be promoting something today. Milton said he's there because he likes Howard's program.
Howard said that he thinks he's every inch a gentleman. Milton said he knows what he's referring to and he's not going to go there. Howard said everyone asked why he didn't ask him about his weenie. Milton said he doesn't have to ask about that.
Howard said he feels that he and Forrest Tucker had the biggest in Hollywood. Howard said he heard that Huntz Hall had a big one too and he beat them both. Milton said he did not. Milton told Howard a story about how they once told him to just take out enough to beat the other guys.
Howard said his is very small or maybe it's just because he's so tall that it looks small. Howard said Milton's wife must be shocked and very satisfied by his.
Howard said Milton's book is great and he brought it to Los Angeles with him when he went out there. Howard said it's so good that Jackie took it into the bathroom with him and he didn't come out of the bathroom until he was done with the book. Milton said the stories in the book are all true. He said it's all clean and very funny too.
Howard said Henny Youngman was complaining about the women entering the Friar's Club. Milton said he once introduced Henny at an event and he said that Henny had turned senility into an art form. Milton said that he is in the Friar's out in Los Angeles and he has had some dealings with the New York Friars. Howard said he has thought about joining and he thinks he would.
Milton said they had a woman approach them to join the club out there in Los Angeles. He said he knew they'd eventually have a rule about it so he told her that he'd be happy to have her in. He said they were the first one to have a woman in the club. He said he can't see why they shouldn't have them in the club.
Howard said he has to go over and shoot something at channel 9. He said his questions are about his penis size so he has to let the audience ask some questions too.
Milton told Howard some stories and then Howard took some calls. One caller asked if he has ever fainted from all of the blood rushing to his penis when he's gotten aroused. Milton said that was very funny but didn't answer.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Milton if he's hung so low that he has a fiveskin. Milton didn't seem amused. Another guy said he has never found Milton funny and he hated when he would put on the dresses. Howard hung up on him.
Another caller asked if he hangs to the left or the right or does it wrap it around his waist. Howard said he wants one normal question there. He took another call. That caller asked if his nephew is in the band Ratt. Milton said he is. Milton said that his nephew owns the band and he's the manager. He said he put them together.
Another caller asked if he ever glazed the floorboards with his penis while in a dress. Howard hung up and Milton said ''no more phone calls.'' Howard said that they were a little outrageous. Howard said this is all very silly and juvenile.
Howard said that Milton must like touring because he gets to get away from the wife for a few weeks. Milton said he loves being with his wife Ruthie. He said she doesn't travel with him. Milton said their son still lives at home too. Howard said that he must be pissed about that. Milton said he's not upset about it. Howard said he must drive a nice car. Milton said he drives a Honda Civic. He said he's a mechanic on planes and makes $52 an hour doing that.
Howard said he bets his house is nice. Milton said that he's invited to the house but there might be a slight charge. Howard said his son has never amounted to much of anything. Milton asked what his father did. Howard told him he was a recording engineer. He told Milton about the amount of money his father gave him when he was in college. It was only $300 a month and his rent was $175. He said he didn't have much to spend for the rest of the month.
Howard said he was very excited to have Milton there. Gary came in and said they have a phone call from Howard's mother, Ray. Howard said he can't imagine he'd want to talk to her. Howard's mom said she's ashamed of him. She said that they love Uncle Miltie and he's complaining to him about them. Ray said that Howard is being terrible. Howard said her name is ray. Milton said hello to her and spent a minute talking to her. Milton told her to book a room for Howard at Bellvue. He said Howard has his own style and when he speaks about her he shouldn't do this. Howard said that she didn't teach him how to wipe properly. He blames his mother and father. Howard said that he was never taught how to brush his teeth properly either.
Howard said he has a bitter heart. He said his mother was an okay mother but not a great mother like she thinks she was. Milton told Ray not to listen to him. Howard wrapped up with her and told her he does love her.
Howard said that Milton is one of his favorite guests on the show. He gave him some plugs for his shows in Atlantic City. They wrapped up and ended the interview a short time later.
A Quick Gary Garver Interview. 06/14/06. 7:15am
After the break Howard said he had a lot of songs to play this morning. He played a Looney Toons theme with George Takei's laughs and comments in there. He asked Artie if he had an answer for them yet. Artie was not ready to make a decision so Howard moved on.
Howard said that Gary Garver was out at a tribute to Liza Minelli and got an interview with Brittany Murphy. He said he hit her with a softball question first and then slammed her with a hardball question that chased her away. There was nothing in between.
Howard played the clip where Gary asked Brittany about how Liza has inspired her and she goes off on this whole explanation. Then Garver asked her ''Why do people think you're crazy?'' and chased her away. Artie said that second question was answered after hearing the answer for the first question.
Gary Garver Interviews From A Star Trek Convention. 8/5/02. 8:15am
Howard's Los Angeles interviewer Gary Garver went out and interviewed a couple of people including George Takei and Ricardo Montalban.
After that Howard moved on and played the tape of Gary interviewing Ricardo Montalban. Here are a few of those questions:
Gary Garver Interviews Buddy Ebsen. 6/18/01. 7:30am
Howard had tape of an interview Gary Garver did with Buddy Ebsen, better known as Jed Clampett from ''The Beverly Hillbillies''. He first went off on Buddy saying he lost respect for the guy when he bad mouthed Nancy Kulp who played ''Miss Jane'' on ''The Beverly Hillbillies'' when she ran for congress unsuccessfully. Howard said he's now a Buddy Ebsen hater. Gary(Baba Booey) pointed out that the guy is 93 and he can barely speak with all of the phlegm in his throat. Howard played the tape and here are a few examples of what Gary asked:
Gary Garver Celebrity Interviews. 4/26/99. 7:50am
Howard's Los Angeles interviewer, Gary Garver, went to some event and got interviews with Gary Coleman, Raquel Welch, Martin Lawrence, Magic Johnson, Rick James and Eddie Murphy. Gary had a bunch of generic questions he asked of most of the celebrities. He got Gary Coleman to answer most of them. They were questions like..
Gary Garver's Academy Awards Interviews. 3/22/99. 8:50am
Howard's Los Angeles interviewer Gary Garver went to an Academy Awards party to get some celebrity interviews. This is a party where celebrities who didn't go to the awards show actually end up. Garver got interviews with people like Don Adams (''Get Smart''), Gary Busey, Jack Klugman, Rod Stiger, Isabelle Sanford (''The Jeffersons''), Buzz Aldren and Anna Nicole Smith. Not the biggest celebs but you get what you can. Don Adams doesn't sound like himself anymore and he left after Gary asked him ''Are there too many Jews in Hollywood?'' Gary Busey and his son ended up spewing crap about how spiritual they are now. He lasted through a few questions but left after Gary asked him about how many times a week he masturbates.
James Doohan, Mr. Scott From Star Trek, Comes In. 11/20/96.
76 year old James Doohan who played Mr. Scott on Star Trek came in to plug his book this morning. Doohan, who doesn't really have a Scottish accent, now has a book called ''Beam Me Up Scotty''. Howard was hoping that James would rag on William Shatner like all the other Star Trek members do. James said a couple of things about Shatner but his wife doesn't like when he does it so he keeps it to a minimum. It turns out that James is a war hero. He fought in World War 2 and was actually shot 8 times by a machine gun! He lost a finger because of that but a sterling silver cigarette case saved his life. James also told Howard that he married his second wife when he was 50 and she was 18! WOW! Got himself a young one! Sounds like he's had an interesting life.
Wilt Chamberlain Comes Ducks Into The Studio. 2/12/97. 8:45am
Ex-Basketball star Wilt Chamberlain was in to plug his new book ''Who's Running The Asylum?''. He and Howard discussed Wilt's past sex life and how large his penis is. Wilt said that he has to have special condoms made because his pecker is so large! That amazed Howard. Wilt also said that his first sexual experience was at age 5! He says that he's slept with about 20,000 women in his life and in his book he apologizes for the way women are treated. What a nut!
Today's From the Grave was over around 11:00am.
In this clip we heard Howard introducing Bob Denver. Howard said the last time he saw him was on the channel 9 TV show. Howard said he heard he got bummed out after that appearance. Howard said it's cool seeing Gilligan. Bob asked if he wanted him to put the hat on. Howard said it was okay, he didn't have to do that.
Bob told Howard that he did a book signing and he had little kids up to old people show up. Howard said the show had been on for about 30 years so it does bring out all kinds of people. Howard said the sad thing is that Bob isn't a multi-millionaire from that show. Howard asked if he lives comfortably. Bob said he does. He said he only made $250 a week doing Dobie Gillis. He only made about $350 by the time it was over. At the time that was good money for him. Howard asked if he went in and asked for more. Bob said that he was told he'd be thrown out.
Howard said Bob was like the Kramer of the show when he was on Dobie Gillis. Howard asked if he had an agent. Bob said he didn't. He said he had a 7 year contract too.
Howard said Bob has been married a bunch of times. Bob said it was 4 times. Howard laughed. Howard asked if he thinks he's a good looking man. Bob said he doesn't. He said he knows he's not. Howard asked when he first got laid. Bob said he was 17. Howard said he was on Dobie Gillis by then. Bob said he wasn't on TV yet. He didn't get on TV until he was 22. Howard asked how the girl looked. Bob said she was fine. He hasn't seen her lately though.
Howard asked Bob about the money they were making with Gilligan's Island and found out he was only making about $1000 on that show. Bob said he made a great deal with the show ''The Good Guys'' but that show didn't last. Howard said he thought only old Blues guys got ripped off like this guy. He said Bob should be rolling in dough. Howard said that the Brady Bunch kids are probably doing okay. Bob said that the residuals thing started in 1972. He said he missed that.
Howard said Bob has to be bitter about it. Bob said he's really not. Howard said he saw his house on some TV show and it looked like it was almost in a trailer park. Bob said it's really not like that. He said he has a 5,000 square foot house with 11 acres of property. He said he's doing okay. Howard asked how he has that. Bob wondered why he has to know this information. Howard asked how he has that money.
Howard said that he would have stuffed Alan Hale and taken him out on tour doing a revival of the show. Howard asked if he's buried somewhere. Bob said he's buried at sea.
Howard said he heard that the professor wrote a book too. He said that he didn't know he had a first name on the show. Robin said that Gilligan was Gilligan's last name too. His name was Will Gilligan. Bob said they never used that.
Howard said Bob's career is weird. He's one of the most famous men in the world and yet he doesn't have the money he should. Howard asked what town he lives in. Bob said he's in West Virginia. Howard said now he understands how he has such a big house. Howard said he worked in Virginia and he knows what people are like down there. He said none of them have their own teeth. He said it's like New Zealand with coal.
Howard asked if it didn't cost more than $30,000 for the land. Bob said it was more than that. He has 11 acres and it's not that cheap. Howard said it's not right that he can't live amongst his peers. Bob said he doesn't want to live amongst his peers.
Howard asked what's going on with the ladies. Bob said he's been married 17 years. Howard figured that they'd do anything for Gilligan down there. They had some fun goofing around talking about that. Fred was doing his southern guy impression with Howard doing the same.
Howard said they did a Gilligan's Island movie and he watched that the other day. He said Gilligan builds a fire on the boat they build and that turns out to get the attention of the helicopters flying around. Gilligan said they got a 54 share when they did that movie.
Howard asked if they get that show in West Virginia. Bob said they do. Howard asked about the movie and how they ended up back on the island after they got on the Minnow 2. Howard asked Bob some questions about the show and found out that Bob didn't remember much about it. Howard and Robin talked about some of their favorite episodes.
Howard said the only person Bob bad mouths is Ginger. He said that Bob claims everyone hated her. Howard said he says she thinks she was too good to be on the show. Robin said she took the job because she thought she was going to be the star of the show. Howard said she was the star in his eyes. Howard said he wrote about her in his book. He said he used to masturbate to her. Howard said Bob must have been turned on by her.
Howard asked Bob about the girls he dated and if he had so many offers for sex that he couldn't be faithful. Bob said it was the 1960s. He said he got caught up in all kinds of things. He told Howard to just say whatever he wanted to. Howard asked if he got caught up in drugs. Bob said he can say that if he wants.
Howard asked if he married a model. Bob said the first wife was a model. They spent a minute on that and Bob told Howard that he's going to be on Larry King later. Howard said Larry sucks. Howard said that guy has been married like 7 times. Howard told Bob that he's been married 19 years himself and it's his first and only wife. Howard said it must have been heavy to go in and dump your wife. He told Bob to reenact that with him. Bob said he can't do that. He said it's like that sketch they did on his TV show.
Howard said they wrote a great scene for Bob on the channel 9 show. Bob said they didn't show them the script until the last second. Howard said they had to do that so people wouldn't freak out. Howard saw that Bob had cigarettes on him so he said he must really hate his life if he smokes. He also said that he must be a pot smoker if he smokes cigarettes. Howard said he got caught up in that for a short time when he was young.
Howard got back to the sketch and said that he played Ginger and they had the skipper die and he was the only thing they could eat. He said Gary played a monkey who ate his own booger's. Gary said he had a line about how he had just run through the desert so he had food for everyone. Howard said he had tampons for people to smoke as Ginger. Howard said that was a great sketch. It was a classic. Howard said they had the woman who played MaryAnn on the show too. Howard said they had some fun doing that skit. He said they ended up eating the Skipper. Jackie played Lovey. He said it was great.
Howard gave Bob some plugs for his book and talked about some of the stuff he wrote about. The book was ''Gilligan, Maynard and Me.'' They talked about Bob not making a lot of money even though it was a major show. Howard said the odds of having a hit show like that are crazy.
Bob said he did the show ''The Good Guys'' after Gilligan's Island and no one saw that. Bob said he's going to start a miniature golf franchise and he's going to give the proceeds to local charities. Howard said he can't afford to do that.
Howard said Bob must have invested well or something. He had to figure it out during the break. Howard went to break a short time later.
After the edited out break Howard gave Bob some more plugs for his appearances and book signing's. Howard said he will be wearing a Gilligan hat at the signing. He said he's also doing the Larry King Show today. He said his radio show doesn't get any ratings but his TV show might. Howard said he went on Larry King years ago to promote a tape he was selling. He only sold 400 tapes after that. Robin said that might not even be from being on the show. Howard said that's true. They just gave him credit during that hour.
Howard said that Bill Bixby died and he was on Dobie Gillis. Howard said that Bob is a fascinating man and you really need more time with him to pry everything out of him. Howard asked how long his marriages lasted. Bob said that he didn't want to talk about that. He said that he did marry one model. Howard said he has had his share then. Howard said he heard that he did a love scene on The Love Boat and had a boner. Bob said he can't believe that anyone told him that. Howard said he can't remember who it was but someone said it. Gary said it was Susan Richardson from Eight Is Enough. Howard said she claims to have seen Martians too though.
Howard asked Bob if he heard from Ginger about what he wrote. Bob said he did. He said he hadn't heard from her before that. Howard said she won't even do the reunion shows. Howard said he had to let Bob go because he had to do some other shows. He gave him some more plugs for what he was going to be appearing on. Howard wrapped up and told him how much he liked him on Gilligan's Island. He said he was the star of that show.
In the clip we heard Howard saying that they were waiting for George Steinbrenner to call in. Howard read some news about the Yankees and killed some time waiting for George to call in. They talked about this one armed pitcher that was in the paper.
George Steinbrenner eventually called in so Howard picked up and said he hasn't heard from him for a while. George said that he's been away from baseball for a while. Howard said that he stuck by him during the hard times. Howard asked him what he thinks about Marge Schott. George said he doesn't know much about it but he likes Marge. Howard said he must hear other guys doing racial humor. George said he just can't comment on that. He said he wasn't part of the committee that took care of that whole thing. Howard said a lot of people have a foul mouth. George said everyone has used words like Jap and things like that. He said he has respect for them but they've used the word.
Howard asked George how much he's worth. George said he doesn't discuss that. Howard said he figures he must be worth a lot to own the Yankees. Howard said that's almost a frivolous thing. George said he bought them in 1973 for $8.8 million. He said he got them from Mr. Paley and some people wanted to change the contract but Mr. Paley was very honorable and stuck with it. Howard asked what they're worth now. George said he thinks that they might be worth over $100 million now. He wasn't talking specifics though.
Howard asked if people thought he was a jerk for buying them. George said everyone has been wonderful to him in the city. Howard said that when he left baseball things were less interesting. Howard said he did the right thing and spent a fortune paying all of these ball players. He said that he got burned. Howard said he was burned by Dave Winfield. George said that he likes Dave but his agent caused him some problems. Howard said he pays top dollar for some of these guys. He said he can't be accused of being cheap. Howard said they claimed that he was trying to buy the game. That's what you have to do though. George said he wanted to get the best team he could for New York.
Howard asked about Donald Trump and what he thinks about his divorce. He and George spent a minute talking about that. Howard said Trump gave his ex-wife $25 million and she still had to go out and write a book about him. George said that he thinks Donald still likes Ivana as a person.
Howard said he knows Trump and he's had private conversations with him. He knows he likes women a lot. George said that Howard has to be getting paid pretty well too. Howard said he's not making what he thinks he should be making.
Howard asked George about this pitcher who has just one hand. George told him some details about that guy. Howard said he doesn't understand how he can play like that. George said the guy was born like this and he's able to pitch and catch. He said the unbelievable part is that he can put that mitt on and take it off so fast. He said it's remarkable.
Howard said he's going to go to games this year just to see this guy pitch. Howard said he has two hands and he can't even dribble a basketball. George said the kid has a great heart. Howard said he wants the kid on his show. George said he'll let his people know that.
Howard said he heard they have Wade Boggs on the team this year too. George said that he's asking all of the right questions. He said they do have him. Howard asked what's up with Yogi Berra. George said he has to talk to him because Yogi felt that he wasn't treated well. He said he's too important to the Yankees.
Howard said he wants the kid with one hand on his show. George said he'll find that there isn't any person who shouldn't be turned on by his courage. He said he doesn't think the guy wants to talk about being handicapped. Howard said he has to. He said he's going to give him all kinds of tasks to do on the show. He said he'll have him play Tiddlywinks with him on the show.
Howard said he would love to be George's son. He said he would use that name to get laid. Howard asked if George has any powerful friends. He said that the Cardinal is his friend. George said he likes the guy but he's not that close to him. He said that he did marry his daughter and son-in-law. George said he likes him very much.
Howard said he wishes he knew his daughter and could have married her. Howard said he would love to be able to be in the family like that. Howard asked if he doles out his money in small amounts. George said the kids all have things they do and they do charity and things like that. Howard said he would even change his name if he could be part of that family. George asked who winds Howard up like this every morning. Robin said she doesn't know how that happens.
George told Howard that his kids are great and they get involved in the company. They spent a minute talking about that. Howard asked who he hangs with. Bob Hope is one person. George said he loves Bob. He said the guy is 89 years old and he's a great guy. Howard asked if he ever calls him. George said he does. Howard asked if his daughter has ever seen an iron or a broom. George said she has 3 kids and of course she has. Howard said George seems to be a good family man too. George said he has been married a long time and he's never cheated.
Howard gave George some plugs since he wasn't just calling in for no reason. George said that he remembers the people who are loyal to him. Howard said he backed him with the whole thing. He said he doesn't even know what George did. George said that he didn't want to get into that. He's just happy to be back. Howard said they're doing a live broadcast for The Children's Health Fund and that's what he's promoting today.
Howard and George spent a couple more minutes talking before Howard had to let him go. Howard talked about the kid with one hand some more and said he's not handicapped, he's handi-capable. Howard thanked George for calling in and let him go a short time later.
The Real Ed McMahon Calls In! 9/18/97. 8:40am
That's right! The real Ed McMahon called in to plug a TV show that he's on now. Ed is one of those people that you'd never expect to call the show because Howard has made fun of him in the past. Ed is now appearing on ''The Tom Show'' on the WB network. This is Tom Arnold's show so Tom must have told Ed that Howard isn't so bad. Howard had him do his famous ''Hi Ohhhh'' over the phone a couple of times before talking with him. They talked about Ed and Johnny Carson's relationship and about Ed's marriages among other things. Ed said that he finds Howard to be a very talented broadcaster even though he doesn't agree with everything he says. He even saw ''Private Parts'' the movie and enjoyed it. Howard tried to get Ed to bad mouth a bunch of people but Ed just wouldn't do it. Howard asked him about Jerry Lewis and Jay Leno but Ed wouldn't say a bad word about them. The only person he almost said bad stuff about was some reporter from Star Magazine who wrote an article about him. He sued her and won. It sounded like Ed had a good time during the call so maybe he'll come into the studio sometime. Howard promoted this phone call yesterday on the show and to tell the truth I didn't believe that Ed would actually call in. It surprised the hell out of me.
The ''Restless, Restless'' Song Contest Finals. 08/19/04. 9:00am
After the break it came time to end the ''Restless, Restless'' song contest. Vinnie Favale (CBS Vice President of Late Night Programming East Coast) and Tom Gesimondo (WXRK Sales) get together and write songs together and one of them was this ''Restless, Restless'' song that Howard has goofed on for months. Now Vinnie and Tom think that their song is a hit. Howard started this contest for people so they could try to take their lyrics and make a decent song out of it. There were a couple who were able to work with it.
Howard introduced the judges for the contest today. They had a couple of record company guys like Harvey Leeds and John Tita. Howard then introduced Robert Goulet who was live via satellite from North Carolina. Goulet was an entrant in the contest because this guy Ernest asked him to do it for him. Ernest was in the studio with Howard because if Goulet's song wins, he actually wins the prize money. Ernest told Howard how he got to know Mr. Goulet when he did some commercial songs for ESPN. Goulet said that he got a call from Ernest who said that this was a poem that they needed to put to music. Goulet wasn't impressed with the writing and said the guys who wrote it aren't exactly Robert Frost and TS Elliott. Vinnie isn't all that thrilled with the way Goulet performs the song because he misses the whole point of the song. Howard said he can't wait for Goulet to perform but Goulet isn't used to performing at 8 in the morning.
Robert Goulet said he was going to perform the song his way and that's exactly what he did. He performed his song immediately and it sounded just as good as his original recording. Howard was impressed that he took that ''crap song'' and made it a winner.
Howard brought in this guy Jeff Stillman to perform his Honky Tonk version of ''Restless, Restless.'' Jeff thought the lyric was well crafted because it only took him about 15 minutes to come up with the music to go along with the lyrics. Howard had to play the music on his CD player while Jeff sang along to it. He did a nice job singing even though he's not a professional singer. Mr. Goulet was unable to hear the music playing but he heard Jeff sing and thought he was pretty good.
This guy Kevin Remick was the third finalist in the contest. He did a country version of the song but he's actually in a rock band. He said that the lyrics seemed to work with the country music. Kevin said that he thought the lyrics didn't flow very well so he had to work on them for a while. Howard had Kevin perform the song after talking to him for a minute. He had a backup band in the studio with him to perform it.
Howard and the guys thought that Kevin and his band did a great job. Artie seemed to think that he was the most talented guy in the room and couldn't believe that the guy is going to be selling meat in a week. A phone caller asked if they were going to be selling a copy of Goulet's version of the song. Goulet said that he was recently asked to do some rock songs after hearing about all of this stuff and he may put this song out on there with those songs. Goulet said that he thought Kevin's version of the song was very good as well.
Howard liked all three of the finals but he was torn as to who should get the win. It was time to vote after that. Howard saw that they had a lot of phone callers waiting to give their opinion. Everyone was split on who should get the win. Howard went to Harvey Leeds for his vote. Harvey told Howard that he thought the song was a joke when he first heard it. He thought the song was really terrible and didn't think that it could become a hit song but these guys have taken it somewhere he didn't think it could go. Harvey said that Kevin could sell that song because he created something great with those lyrics.
John Tita was up next. He said that Mr. Goulet was fantastic with his version. He told Jeff he was great as well but he had to pick Kevin as being the best. He managed to distract them from the lyrics which is why he had to give him his vote. Howard said that he loved Robert Goulet's version as well and said he couldn't thank him enough for coming on the show to do it. Goulet said that he will send Howard his first CD when he puts out the new rock song stuff. Robin wondered if Goulet knows that he sends Howard a Christmas card every year. Howard thought that he had no idea but Goulet says that he does.
Cabbie came in to present the winner with the $5,000 grand prize to Kevin. The prize money came courtesy of Hemorrelief.com. Howard asked Tom and Vinnie what they thought. They would have thrown their votes to Kevin as well so they were happy with the whole contest. They have their own new web site at RipTheMusic.com where you can hear some of their stuff available to hear.
Howard asked Harvey and John if they would give Kevin a chance in the business. They said that they'd have to hear some more of his stuff but he would certainly have a chance at it. Howard thanked everyone for coming in and then wrapped up the segment and went to break.
Bob Guccione Calls In. 8/12/98. 9:10am
The king of Penthouse Magazine, Bob Guccione, called in to promote the September issue of the mag. There's an article about this cancer drug Hydrozine Sulfate which kept his late wife alive for two and a half years. Bob claims that his wife was diagnosed with breast cancer and was given just a few weeks to live. They found out about this drug that's not available here in the U.S. So they managed to get it from another country. The drug kept her alive. Then she went in for surgery to remove some scar tissue that was preventing her stomach from letting food pass through and she died from complications during surgery. Bob wants to spread the word so there's an article in the September issue of Penthouse Magazine. Bob and Howard spent at least 35 minutes talking about all kinds of stuff. 66 year old Bob is now dating a 30 year old woman. Howard heard that she's like the best looking woman in the world. Bob told a long story about how Penthouse ended up beating Playboy in sales after just a few years being out. Right now Penthouse is the second largest selling magazine. The best selling magazine is TV Guide. Howard suggested that Penthouse add TV listings to their magazine to boost sales over that of TV Guide. Bob thought that was a pretty funny idea. Howard said that Penthouse has been showing more and more graphic sexual stuff lately. They're showing penetration and even women peeing. Bob said that the September issue has the winner of some pee contest in it. That may be why the magazine was banned from U.S. military bases. Bob said he's gone to court over that fact. Before Bob got off the phone he said that Penthouse will be looking in to opening up a strip club in New York City sometime in the future.
In this clip we heard Howard back stage at the Grammy Awards in 1991. Howard said he had some real guests coming in next. He was busy interviewing Robin Quivers before that. Howard introduced Tim Farriss and Michael Hutchence from the band INXS. Howard and Michael talked about what they were up to and said they have a good look. Howard said he would love to be a rock star and have those kind of hours. Howard asked if they're single. Both of the guys said they're not really. Howard heard that one of the guys was going out with Kylie Minogue. Howard said he wishes he could get something like that. Howard said he had a sex dream about Robin last night but she pushed him away. Howard said he's kind of a celebrity himself but not like these guys.
Howard said he thought Michael was going to leave the band for a while. Howard said lead singers are kind of strange. He said they have to take care of their voice and not party so much. He said it's sort of a drag. He said it can be a problem when they want to party with the rest of the band and they can't do it. Michael said he had that conversation about an hour ago with his manager.
Howard said that it must be tough to split the money with the rest of the band. They have to split it 6 ways. Howard said the band really is ''in excess.'' Howard asked about who writes and who plays in the band. they went over all of that and figured out who was doing what. Howard said maybe Tim and Michael could do their own group and get some studio musicians to work with them. Tim said that sounds kind of boring to him. He said anyone can do that.
Howard said he wanted to talk about Kylie Minogue. He said the girls must go nuts over them. Robin said that she had to meet Michael when she found out they were there. Robin said she really digs Australians.
Howard asked how Michael met Kylie Minogue. He met her in Singapore and they were talking about singing since they both sing. Howard asked if he's going to dump her the first chance he gets. Michael said she's a really good woman. Howard said it must be nice to have a woman who has her own money. Michael said she's richer than he is. Howard asked Michael if he thinks she really loves him. Michael said he thinks she does.
Howard asked the guys about their new album and told them he likes their new song ''Suicide Blonde.'' Howard asked Michael about cutting off all of his hair last year. Michael said he got sick of the hair after years and years of the same thing. He said he just cut it off one day. Howard said he's a good looking guy and he can't imagine doing that to himself. Michael told Howard he looks like Joey Ramone. Howard said that's not who he wants to look like. He said the guy looks like a monster. He said he's a great guy but he's not good looking.
Howard said a lot of good looking guys try to make themselves ugly. He said he would never do that if he was good looking. He said he'd try to look good all the time. Michael said he's back now and he's got the hair again.
Howard asked the guys to do a song for them. Tim said they had to go to a sound check so they couldn't do it. They were on their way to do a show at the Meadowlands. Howard said he and Robin should get back stage and hang out. The guys told them to come by. Howard said they don't have tickets. The guys said they could put them on the guest list.
Howard told the guys he thinks that Jon Bon Jovi is a dick. Howard told them that he took him under his wing and put him on the show and said he'd make it some day. He said that he told him that they'd make it big some day and had them on all the time and Jon turned his back on them.
Howard asked the guys if they have people in the business they hate. Tim said that they do have to deal with a lot of people like that. Howard asked Michael how he can smoke and keep that voice. Michael said it gives him an edge. He said it's bad for his voice but he does it anyway.
Howard asked if they've ever had 3 girls at the same time. Howard said he has to imagine that they have. The guys said they have had at least that many. Howard said his head would explode if that happened to him.
Howard said he was getting the hi-sign to get the guys out of there. Howard said he likes the guys so much he bought their albums. He didn't even take them for free. Howard wrapped up and let the guys go a short time later.
Comedian Bernie Mac Comes In. 11/14/01. 8:50am
Comedian Bernie Mac came in this morning to promote his new FOX TV show ''The Bernie Mac Show'' which airs tonight at 8:30pm.
Howard started off talking about how Bernie is a ''real black man'' and it's refreshing to see that on TV. Bernie came in and said that on his new show he just ''tells it like it is'' and he's just being himself. He plays himself on the show and Howard said it's really funny. Bernie told Howard that 85% of the show is true to his life. The house is similar to the one he lives in now and the relationships they show are very similar to what he has in his life. He said that FOX has allowed him to do what he wants to do on the show and that's the reason he's doing it. He said that he doesn't need the money and he's had other chances to do TV shows in the past. The timing was just right for this show and he's free to be outrageous on his show. He said he didn't want to ruin his career by not being himself. He said some people who were ''handcuffed'' when they had their own TV shows were Don Rickles and Richard Pryor. Howard also mentioned Sam Kinison who was held back when he did ''Charlie Hoover.'' Bernie said that he didn't need a TV show because he's got a great career going on the road doing stand-up comedy.
In his stand-up routine Bernie used to talk about his nephew being a ''faggot'' but he didn't realize how that would affect the kid. He told Howard how the kid used to get teased at school because of his act. He ended up going to his nephew's school and wound up doing a 2 hour routine for the teachers and students. He said after that his nephew was a hero and he got over the ''faggot'' stuff.
Howard and Robin wondered what will happen to Bernie if he becomes really famous from this TV show. Bernie said he's already famous and can't go anywhere because he gets recognized. He said he won't change if more fame comes to him. Robin told Bernie that's what Jim Carrey and Jerry Seinfeld used to tell Howard. Carrey used to beg to come on the show, now he won't set foot in the studio. Howard told Bernie that he told Jerry Seinfeld that when he got famous he'd stop doing the show and he was right. Seinfeld stopped calling in and now he won't come on the show at all.
Howard wrapped up the interview and mentioned that Bernie would be signing books at a couple of places. The book ''I Ain't Scared of You : Bernie Mac on How Life Is'' came out last month and he'll be in Florida in the next couple of days to sign copies of it.
In the clip we heard Howard asking Gary if their mystery guest was there yet. Gary told him he was in the bathroom peeing. Howard said he should just say he's going to the bathroom and not give details. Howard goofed on Gary for a short time about his screw up. Howard said Gary is such a wuss sometimes. He said he wasn't going to go to the bathroom so he wouldn't disturb their guest. Howard said he should just pretend he's going in there to go to the bathroom.
Howard said that he could go in there as John Oates from Hall and Oates and tell him he just got done doing the Howard Stern Show and it was great.
The mystery guest came in so Howard told him not to say who he is yet. Howard went to the phones and let some callers ask some questions to guess who the guest was. Robin said they should ask this guy what Howard should be wearing on Letterman when he goes on. Howard said she's right because this guy knows how to dress.
Howard asked Gary if he went in and looked at the guest peeing. Gary didn't go in. Robert said he saw David Letterman in there.
Howard said he wanted to play the game and gave out a clue. It was ''Some people are Luke warm, but this guy likes it hot.'' Howard took some calls and let the callers guess who they thought it was. The first guy didn't have a guess. The second caller knew it was Robert Palmer. Howard gave him a prize package of a couple of tickets to see Squeeze at the Meadowlands. The caller said he can't get to the Meadowlands.
Howard asked Robert some questions and asked if he loves being him. Robert wasn't answering his questions straight though. Howard asked if he's married. He said he is. Howard said he got married before he was famous and he could get a lot of women but he doesn't. Howard said when women see his face they don't want to go to bed with him. He said that's why he has to put a bag on his head.
Howard said many performers have ripped Robert off. He mentioned a bunch of bands that didn't actually rip him off so Robert laughed. Howard said he badly wants show business friends. Robert said he could introduce him to some people. He said he has some bands that have potential fame.
Howard asked Robert about being married since the age of 21. He asked if that means that he didn't have sex with any groupies. Robert said it's tough to keep them at bay.
Howard asked Robert if he wanted to jam a little bit. Robert asked what he had in mind. He ended up singing a little with no musical accompaniment. Howard just let him sing for a minute. Then he asked how many women he's slept with in his life. Robert said it's just one. Howard didn't believe that.
Howard asked Robert about hooking up with Andy Taylor and the other Taylor from Duran Duran and if Andy was from Mayberry. Robert said they are not related.
Howard asked Robert about living in the Bahamas and if the blacks are hostile toward the whites. Robert said ''In a word, yes.'' He said they shot his dog down there. Howard said he can understand why they'd be upset since he's got a lot of money and he's popular and they're living in cardboard boxes. Howard asked if he was there when they did it. Robert said he wasn't and that makes him very anxious. Howard told him to move to the United States. Robert said he's actually moving to Switzerland which has the lowest crime rate in the world.
Howard said that he had a song parody of his song ''Bang a Gong'' that was about Kaity Tong, a local news anchor. Howard sang a few lines of that for him. Howard told Robert if he was homosexual he would kiss him with an open mouth right now.
Howard and Robert tried singing the song parody about Kaity Tong. Howard gave him the lyrics so he could sing along with him. Fred played guitar and Robert sang along with Howard.
Howard seemed pretty thrilled with the performance. Howard said he might have to release that as a single. He said that Robin's headlights were on because she was so excited about it.
Howard asked Robert about being friends with Chaka Khan. Robert said she's great and he's working with her on a new album. Howard asked who else he's friends with. Robert said he doesn't like men that much so he has female friends. He said he opened up for The Who when he was younger.
Howard wondered what he should do next. He was going to play his song ''Addicted to Love'' and then maybe take soem calls. Howard asked who the woman was that had her naked butt on the cover. Robert said that was just central casting that found her.
Howard gave Robert a plug for his new album Riptide and siad it would make a great Christmas present. Howard said hte guy has to move to Switzerland adn a new chateau doesn't grow on trees. HOward told RObert he was great and started to wrap up. HOward said he wanted to knwo what to wear on Letterman. Robert told him to mention his name to Dave. Howard sadi this will be his 5th appearance on the show and he's like a regular now. Howard said Dave talks to him before the show so he'll mention Robert to him. Robert said he'd love to sing with the band. They wrapped up the segment a short time later.
Comedian Greg Giraldo Sits In For The News. 06/16/04. 9:10am
Howard came back from break and said that his web site guys tell him that the bulletin board should be up soon on HowardStern.com. He told Robin about how she'll be able to log in from home and chat with fans if she wants to. She'll have her name reserved for her so no one can steal her identity.
Howard mentioned the contest they have going on with the Vinnie Favale song. Robin said that she might have something that she can work with on that song but she'll need some help.
Comedian Greg Giraldo came in to hang out during Robin's news. Howard said he saw some tape of Greg defending himself on Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn one night. He had to tell Dennis Leary that maybe if he had written some jokes for his sitcom, it would still be on the air. Howard played the audio clip of Greg and Dennis arguing with each other about a few things on Colin's show. Greg had some good comebacks for Leary's comments.
Howard talked to Greg about his failed sitcom and how he and Ray Romano had a discussion about their shows one time. Greg's show tested through the roof and Ray's tested horribly... but Greg lasted 4 weeks and Ray's show is still on the air.
Howard played more of the Dennis Leary tape where he complained about Greg coming prepared with jokes for the show while Dennis didn't. Howard thought those comebacks that Greg had were really funny. He gave him a plug for the comedy shows he's doing at The Laugh Factory in Times Square tomorrow through Sunday. You can also check out Greg's web site GregGiraldo.com.
Howard and Greg talked about the failed sitcom Greg had. He said he was only in stand-up for about 2 years when he got the show and he wasn't able to act. He had no idea what he was doing back then. Howard got sidetracked and started talking about how Fred's mother enjoyed anal sex but the delay was getting hit so much that it wasn't clear how they got on that subject.
Artie told Howard how hard it is to do that Tough Crowd show because they fax over a bunch of stuff that they're going to discuss on the show and you have to write material for it and submit it to them. They spent a few minutes on that and then Howard had to take a break before Robin started her news.
During the news Greg talked a little bit about how he graduated Harvard and went right into Law after that. He said he worked in a law office for about a year after college but got out of that to work in stand-up comedy instead. He also had some drinking problems when he was younger. He said he's had people call him and ask him if he remembered doing things that he couldn't remember. He told one story about how he was peeing on people in a bathroom at a wedding he went to after getting really wasted. Greg shared a couple of stories about that stuff before Howard had Robin get back to her news.
Today's From the Grave special was over around 10:55am.
This week's Best of the Week was over around 10:55am.