|Friday||Latest Master Tape Theatre|
Howard started the show welcoming everyone to Sirius XM and wondering if they are two different companies or not. He said it's very confusing. Howard said hey sometimes only have 10 million subscribers and sometimes it's 20 million.
Robin asked how life is for him. Howard said it's good. He was very manly watching the Packers and Bears game yesterday. He said he watched the Jets too. He said Beth was into the Steelers so she had their dog wrapped up in a Steelers towel. He said he could have tweeted out some pictures if he had a Twitter account. He said he does have a Facebook account but he doesn't even have his kids on that account. He said his kids find it creepy so he's not allowed on their accounts. Howard said his sister is on their account but he's not insulted. He gets it.
Howard said if he tweeted he could get out to the public. He said he could have had the pictures of the dog out to the people. He said he was getting his friends upset about the game when he was talking about one of the players being accused of rape. Robin said he was never charged with anything. Howard said he texted someone about that and the guy freaked out. Howard said it's just funny.
Gary said they were talking about that on the wrap UP Show last week and how his son wanted to buy a t-shirt that said ''Rapelesberger'' on it. Howard said he has to be a parent and say no to something like that.
Gary told Howard the story about what they accused him of and how it's his word against her's. Gary said that the D.A. didn't have enough proof so he couldn't charge him. Howard told Gary he did the right thing not letting his son get that t-shirt.
Howard said he enjoyed the game last night. He said that he almost tuned out because the Jets weren't doing so well and there was no way they were going to come back. He said they did have a little bit of a comeback though so he's glad he stayed tuned. Howard said that the Steelers look good and tough. He said they kind of fell apart a bit in the second half though. He said he's happy because Beth's whole family are big fans of the Steelers. He said they went to every game growing up and her father is into it. He got them tickets to see the Super Bowl so they're happy about that.
Howard said he was watching that game last night thinking about how people accuse them of buying their teams there in New York and it's just not fair that they do that. He said it's clearly not the case. Howard said that the teams should be allowed to buy their teams every year but it just doesn't happen. He said you can't say that it's the money every year.
Howard said he really liked it and he didn't understand why it got such bad reviews. He said it was number one at the box office. He said he liked Ashton Kutcher in the movie and it weirded him out that the reviews were the complete opposite of what he thought.
Robin said one of her friends was in the movie and she had no idea. She said that his name is Derek so Howard didn't know who it was. Howard said Abby Elliot was in the movie too. He said he recommends the movie highly. He said he'd watch it again because it was so good.
Robin said that she heard people talking about it on the way out and the women who were there loved it. Howard said he watched some TV over the weekend too. He said he loved the Housewives of Beverly Hills finale. He said he loves reality TV. Robin said she saw the finale of Celebrity Rehab. Howard said he hasn't seen that yet. He's kind of behind.
Howard said he just kind of hung out the rest of the weekend. He said he went out running but it was freezing out.
Howard said that Richard Roeper gave the movie a good review. He said that on Rotten Tomatoes they say that the majority of the critics liked the movie.
Howard said he made the mistake of going on SternFanNetwork last week and he didn't see one positive comment. He said it was one relentless thing after another. He said they were saying that the show sucks and he doesn't put any energy into the show anymore. Howard said that they said he was being paid to promote YouPorn and things like that. Howard said that the people were brutal. He said he had stayed off the site for over a year and he made the mistake of going on. Howard said he figured that the fans would have liked the Piers Morgan interview he did. That show reran over the weekend. Robin said she saw it on Saturday night. Howard said they had some ratings information about that show and how he dropped in the ratings through the week. Howard said it just kept going downhill as the week went by.
Howard said people were telling him he didn't explain the phone app thing on Piers' show. Howard said that he tried to put the app on his Blackberry over the weekend and he wasn't able to find it. He said that he asked why he was going out and promoting this app if you can't get it. Howard said that the app store is the app store so everyone should be able to get it out there. Howard said it was ridiculous. He said he started texting Ross asking why he's working for this company. He said Ross told him to calm down.
Howard said Beth asked him for the app so she could hear the show. He said she must be listening more than she admits. He said that she has to be listening to the show and she has to stop telling people she doesn't listen. Howard said she wanted the app to hear his show. He wondered why she wants to hear it all of a sudden.
Howard said he was trying to be a man and wanted to show how easy he could install it. He said that Ross never got back to him about why they can't find the app on the Blackberry app store. He said that he can't believe they didn't test this out. He said he got a note back from Ross telling him to go to the Sirius XM web site to download it. He said that it should be easy to find the app. He said you do that for the Apple stuff so it should be like that with the others too. Howard said that you go to Sirius.com/blackberry or something. He said he went on the web site and downloaded it in two seconds. He said it was very easy for him to do it on his phone. Then he tried it on Beth's phone and it didn't work. He said this took up his whole weekend.
Howard said he finally figured out that Beth had this Blackberry Browser and it wasn't getting out to the internet. He said that it was the most difficult thing in the world. He said he got on the regular browser and it was fine but it's not easy to figure out. Robin said that it is easy to get the app, it was the browser that was the problem. Howard said it was hurdle after hurdle and they should have that app in the app store.
Howard said it is great that he can walk around with the show on his phone. Robin asked how he knew his password. Howard said that Ross and Tim helped him out with that. He said that the thing was making him mental.
Howard said there actually were some white people up there in Harlem. Robin said that they like to find the good buildings there and buy them up. Howard said they call that Gentrification. Howard went into his mother impression and had his mother talking about living in the black neighborhood and loving that. He said that she hated the white families that left. He did the impression for a few minutes goofing around with the stuff she used to say about the black people. He said she would call them schwarza's but she loved them at the same time. He said it was very confusing.
Howard said his parents would get invited to their friend's houses for an 8 o'clock party but no one would show up until 10. He said they'd complain about that. Howard said they would talk about all of that and that's when he learned about C.P.T. (Colored People Time) but his parents didn't even know what that meant at the time.
Howard said he had Robin show up 2 hours late to dinner one night. Robin said that was the day that her cat was operated on. Robin said she wasn't able to call and drive at the same time. Howard said next time he's going to tell her to come 2 hours earlier. Robin said she was a mess that day. She said she drove herself too and misjudged everything. Howard said ''shame on you'' for that. Robin said her cat had a kidney transplant that day.
Howard said he had no idea if Robin was even going to show up. He said everyone wanted to eat dinner. Gary said Howard was wondering what was going on. Robin said that they told her to be there at 7 but Howard said it was 6. Robin said it was 7. Howard said he sent everyone the same thing and it was 6. Robin said she knew he was going to be a mess about it.
Howard said they were going to start eating without her. He said everyone was in agreement too. He said that he wasn't going to sit and wait for her the whole night. He said he's usually in bed by 10 and stayed up late that night. Howard said everyone has the gift of gab but not him. He said he can't stay up past midnight.
Robin said she almost ended up in Howard's bedroom. Howard said she must have wanted it so bad. Robin said she was actually in there but didn't close the door. Howard asked if she was in a negligee by that point. She said she wasn't. Howard said she must have been so wasted by that point. Robin said she got into his room and saw flickering lights and realized she was in the wrong room.
Howard said it would have been funny if she came in and got in bed and he rolled over on her. Howard said Beth told him that she found Robin wandering around up there. Howard said he knew that Robin wanted it.
Howard took a call from King of All Blacks who was saying that it was funny hearing him talking about black people. He said they always put a sign in their window saying they'll be right back because they don't like to work the hours they're supposed to. They spent a minute talking about that.
Howard asked King where he shops that they have shops like that. King said there are some around there. Howard said he knows a woman who runs a store and she's black and the shop is great. King said she must be Bougie.
King told Howard to use a navigation thing to get around. Robin said they don't work all the time. Howard said that he's had problems with them too.
Gary said there's a navigation system that has brought people on railroad tracks a bunch of times. Howard said his navigation system brings him into parking lots all the time. Gary said his works great and he has a home button on his and just hits the ''home'' button to get him back home. Howard said he once ended up in the Cayman Islands.
Howard said they did a nice job on that. He said they had some other stuff where they took clips of Ronnie and had him asking a guy if he was gay. They had Ronnie talking to him about being gay and the guy said that he's not gay and he gets a lot of women. He keeps telling the Ronnie clips that he eats pussy and gets pussy all the time. The guy told Ronnie to go get himself some pussy too.
Howard said that was some big argument there. He thought it was great. Robin wondered how they found that guy. Howard said they make hundreds of calls until they find a guy like that.
Howard said he gave Beth some love last night. He said Beth doesn't like it when he talks too much. He said he likes to talk to her though. He said he started rubbing her feet and she didn't like that. Howard said that he was role playing as Rex Ryan and asked her to put her feet on his penis. That only went on for about 3 seconds though. Howard said he started talking to her and she shushed him. Howard said he was just talking about sex and stuff and she doesn't like that. Robin said maybe his voice is creepy. Howard said he was using his regular voice. He said he found that an insult when she shushed him.
The caller told him he should do his Amos and Andy voice. He also asked what kind of condoms he's using. Howard said he doesn't even know. He said they might be Durex or Trojan. He said he will write down the name or maybe Laura can call in and let Gary know. Howard said he has to have Laura buy them for him.
The caller said that he got some condoms from Asia and they don't fit, they're too small. Howard said he's crazy. The guy said he can't feel shit with them on either. Howard said the ones he has are great and you don't even know they're on. The caller was on a speaker phone so Howard told him to get off of that because it was killing him. The guy asked some more sex questions but Howard said he's not going to talk about that stuff.
Howard got back to Robin and her wandering around in his house. Howard said that he meant to talk to her about showing up late.
Bobo called in and asked Howard if he went to the after party for the movie he was talking about earlier. Howard said they didn't go. He said that he saw that Gabourey Sidibe was at the movie and he didn't want to go to the party and have some kind of altercation. He said he likes Gabby and has no problem with her but people have taken what he said and turned it into something else. He said that he heard Kelsey Grammer was there too but he didn't see him there.
Bobo also brought up the app thing and said he was bummed when he heard about Yucko goofing on him. Bobo said they told him that he needed the stereo Bluetooth to hear the app the right way. Howard said that you don't need them and maybe his guy doesn't know how to fix shit. Bobo said he had a good headphone and it wasn't garbage. Howard said he's not normal intelligence so maybe they're just pulling the wool over his eyes. Howard let Bobo go and went to break.
Howard came back and said he thought it was hot in there. He said that he's right because the air conditioning blew out and it's getting really hot in there. Gary said there's a 15-20 degree difference in there. He said they're saying they'll have it fixed in 15-20 minutes. Howard said he's stripping down already.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa came in and said that it really is hot in there. Howard said it was making him sleepy.
Lisa said they spoke to Lisa Lampanelli and she was talking about Andy Dick and gave him a ''fuck you'' to his comments about what he said about her in another news report. Lisa went off on Andy for claiming that being a drunk is like having cancer. Lisa also has some tape for Howard that he might want to see if Andy doesn't shut the fuck up.
Howard heard that Benjy was eating some of Lisa's home made cupcakes. He heard he had two servings already. Benjy said they're incredible. He said that he just said fuck it for the day. He's had about 8 of the cupcakes already. He figured they were low calorie so it might be 10. Gary said there's no way they're 10. Lisa said they're probably 100 or so.
Howard said he tried to talk to Benjy last week but they ran out of things to say pretty quickly. Benjy said that's not true and they had things to talk about. Benjy told him he looked good on Piers Morgan. Howard said he knows that wasn't true. He said no one would talk to him before he got famous. That's the only reason people think he's good looking.
Howard asked Lisa what she did to herself because she looks good. Lisa said she got her hair cut recently. Howard said he can't believe she can't find a man. He said she's got a great body and she must not have a belly or anything. Lisa said she's starting to get a bit of a muffin top down there.
Howard said he heard that Gary wasn't able to get Lotus Notes loaded on his Android phone and it turns out that it all had to do with the apostrophe in his name. He said that threw off the whole thing. Howard said he was thinking about moving to the Droid and asked Gary what he thinks about it. Gary said that he doesn't know what to think yet. Howard said that Gary is a dickwad. Gary said he just had the phone for 2 days so he doesn't know what to think yet. Gary said he's not going to make a determination about the phone after 2 days and then hear him complain about it for 2 years.
Howard said he also heard that Gary has a screener for ''Black Swan'' and didn't give it to him. Gary said that his wife had it and gave it to a friend. He said he doesn't know what Howard gets in the mail so he didn't know he didn't have it. Gary said that there are other reasons too that he'll talk to him about off the air.
Gary said that most of the movies go directly to Howard and don't come through the mail there. Howard and Gary ended up arguing about that and the phone thing. Gary said he likes the screen on his phone but he doesn't like the buttons on it. Howard said he should have told him that. Gary said he did tell him that.
Howard said he heard that Scott DePace has a screener of ''The Black Swan'' and he didn't give it to him either. Lisa said that if you're in SAG then you can download it. Howard said he doesn't want to download it. He wants a copy. Lisa said that it's a great movie.
Gary read the email he sent to Howard about the Droid 2 phone he has and he did tell him about the keyboard. Howard asked Gary how he has time to be an Alderman now too. Gary said he's not an alderman. Howard said he's on the board of parks and recreation there in his home town. Gary said that he's not an elected official. He said he's on a 9 member advisory board and they have meetings like once a month or once every other month.
Howard goofed on Gary about the parks and recreation board thing. He spent a few minutes goofing on him about that. Fred got in on it and did his impression of Gary too. Howard said someone told him he should wait for a different phone. Gary said someone told him not to get the android. Howard said there's a new one coming out. It's called the Merge. Howard said some guy wrote in and told him about that one.
Howard said the Android should be better for looking at articles and stuff on the web. Gary said he does like the screen on his Droid 2. Gary told him not to get anything on his recommendation though. He doesn't want to hear the complaints for 2 years.
The air was back on in the studio. Howard said he could feel it and it did feel good. Howard goofed on Gary some more about the position he got.
Gary said that he's not angling to be a politician. He said they did an article about this Parks and Rec thing. He said in the article they had a picture of him signing his book and then one of him standing next to a stripper holding a book. He said that he'll never be a politician. Howard said you have to be careful with the pictures you take.
Lisa got back to her news preview and said they spoke to the 15 Foundations Brendan Murphy who told them about some stuff they have coming up. Howard let her go and went to another commercial break.
Howard came back and said that song was very lively. They spent a minute listening to that and talking about how it was number one.
Howard said that he uses Durex Enhanced Pleasure for the guy who was asking about it earlier. Howard went through the top 5 songs after that. He didn't recognize some of the songs that he was playing. Howard said he's some production wiz with that.
Howard wondered how Britney is looking now. He wondered if she's fat or thin. Robin said she thinks she's thin.
Howard said he has a million things to get to. He said that he has Eric the Midget clips and things like that to play. Eric wants to do afternoons on Howard 101 to replace Bubba. Howard said Bubba still isn't back as of yesterday. Howard said that Bubba made a statement to Mel that he sent him on CD. He said that he doesn't think that Mel heard it. He said if he did hear it then it's going to make it harder to get him back on there. Howard said that he has to tell Bubba how to pronounce his name though. He calls him ''Karma-Zon'' and it's ''Karma-Zin.'' He said Bubba may be doing that on purpose. Howard said Bubba can't be tamed.
Howard said that Eric the Midget won't come on the show anymore and he claims that it's not because of Howard and Robin or anyone on the show, it's about the fans driving him crazy. Howard said the fans keep posting that he's dead. Eric claims that he's not dead and he's very much alive. Howard said his point to Eric is that he shouldn't be going on YouTube because the fans will find him there. Howard said that anyone who wants to find him will find him.
Howard played some of Eric's recordings where he talks about why he wants to be left alone. Eric was claiming that it's the fans that are keeping him from calling in on the show. He said it has nothing to do with Howard and his staff, it's ''you'' the fans. Eric asked them to leave him the fuck alone and stop reporting that he's dead. Howard wondered if he's ever followed through on any of his threats. He was claiming that he was going to do something to that ''place'' the fans call home if people don't back off and leave him alone.
Howard and Robin went through those clips and talked about how Eric is telling them that he's not dead and threatening to go after SFN if they don't stop talking about him.
Howard said some of these clips are like 30 minutes long. He said they cut out the best parts. Howard said they're video and Eric does it off his home computer and you can only see half his head. Howard said he's a big fan of Eric's. He said that Eric also complains about JD and says that he'd like to challenge him. Eric said that JD should get on and get a YouTube channel and see how entertaining his videos are. He said he bets that they'll be as boring as hell. Howard said that JD has assured him that he will get a channel and prove Eric wrong.
Howard played more of the clip and Rosie and this woman, Jeanette, were talking about ''unlimited head'' and how she'd do that for Howard. She said that she loves Howard's teeth. Howard said he hates his teeth and won't even smile. Jeanette thinks that he's very hot. She said that in the clip Howard played.
Howard said he's going to have to pay a visit to Rosie's show. He said he feels good about himself today. Howard said there's an article in a magazine that was written by one of Conan O'Brien's writers and he was talking about the strange changes he's had as he's gotten older. Howard said he describes how he had a weird odor coming from his balls as he gets older. He said that the guy has to shower more often. Howard said he has the same conditions and it's awful.
Howard said when he was younger he didn't have to wash that often. He said now he has to wash more. He said it stinks down by his balls and no one would like that odor other than himself. Howard said that didn't happen when he was young. He said that this woman might have to rethink that ''unlimited head'' thing.
Howard said he and Beth were running yesterday and they were both talking about who they wouldn't be able to be with someone who didn't work out.
Gary said the one thing she has is that they're mocking her in the video. Gary said they don't know who put it on the web though. Howard said she has no chance of winning. Gary said that he saw video of her and he thinks that she might have a screw loose... in his opinion.
Howard played some of the audio of this woman talking about how they were laughing at her in this video and how it could have been someone else that fell. She said they took it as a joke and didn't take any precautions. Howard said that she says she has a lawyer now. In the clip she's crying about how she got on YouTube and got all upset about that.
Howard said that the lawyer must have told her there's not much of a case there. He played more of the audio of her talking about how humiliating it was to fall like that and told people not to do the same thing she did. Robin said she just fell. Howard said she's a huge advocate of texting and walking being against the law. Howard said she wants to get a lawsuit going so that's why she's doing this.
Howard played more of the audio and laughed as he heard her break down crying. Then she talks about how her husband asked if she wanted him to jump in the fountain. She said it was an accident and it could have been serious. Howard said the weirdest thing is that she calls her husband ''daddy.'' He said that's disturbing. Robin said she won't say a word about this woman. Howard said she might come looking for her.
Gary gave Howard an article about the woman and they say that she's being accused of using another employee's credit card to make purchases. Howard said that this is all alleged so that's all he can say about that.
Howard said he was getting Christmas cards from Jack ever since he got on the show. Howard said that his wife was Elaine and they were really into each other. Howard said he heard that she's going to pull the casket with her teeth in honor of the stunts he used to do. Howard said he remembers him coming in with his son who was kind of chubby. Howard said he remembers Jack talking about how they didn't know what to do with him.
Howard said it was weird that Jack was doing these exercises on TV so many years ago. Howard said he had health clubs too. Howard said they may have just bought his name. Howard said he got into the juicer thing too. Robin said that he took it over from some Juice Man guy. Howard said the guy was 96 and he died of pneumonia. Robin said that he seemed to be gasping for air later in his life.
Howard said he remembers Jack talking about how he was a sickly kid and he had ADD and stuff like that and he just stopped eating sugar and transformed his life. Howard said he liked the guy even though he was a little hyper. He said he liked Jack and his wife and their marriage too.
Robin said that's a high crime area already. Howard said it is and it's scary. Curtis is out there trying to help. Howard said he could never do that because he's a pussy. He said these Guardian Angels are great and they're going out there to help. Howard said he admires that.
The caller also said he has a game for Will the Farter and JD to play. He said either of them can finish a sentence so they could play a game with that. Howard said he'd like the callers to leave the games up to him. He said that they should sit back and just enjoy the show.
Howard said he had a clip of a reporter in Wisconsin who kept reading the teleprompter even after it went crazy. Howard played the clip and she just kept reading even though nothing on the screen made sense. Howard said it sounded like she was talking Kryptonian. He replayed the clip to hear her again.
Howard said that clip reminded him of Evil Dave who they used to give gibberish to read and he'd just plow through them. He played a clip of Dave reading some of those gibberish lines. Dave never bothered asking what they meant, he just kept going.
Howard said he wishes that Dave would come back on the show. He said that his wife just hangs up on them when they call. Gary said that he's the enemy because he calls and they won't even pick up on him. Howard said they were going to do a video using Dave's voice to make people think that it was Dave. Howard said it could have been great. They were going to do a Rex Ryan kind of thing but with Evil Dave's voice.
Howard played a news report about Gabrielle Giffords where a reporter said that she would no longer need a ''vibrator'' instead of a ventilator.
Howard played another clip of a reporter saying ''shit'' instead of shot. Howard played another one where a congressman said ''shit'' instead of ''sit.''
Howard said this appearance he did on Piers Morgan's show seems to be taking off. He said that it's like people remembered he's around when he want on there. He said women have been saying he's disgusting and guys are saying he's uncool now. Howard said they were talking about him on Showbiz Tonight and going over what he said about Jay Leno. Howard said he says stuff about Jay on his radio show almost every day but no one comments on it.
Howard said that some woman on Showbiz Tonight goes off on him. Howard played that clip where they were playing some of that Piers Morgan interview and then a group of people go over what he said about Jay. This one woman said that it seems very vindictive of Howard to say what he said. She didn't seem to get what Howard was saying. She thought Howard was saying Jay is a crook for taking his show back. Howard said that it wasn't about that, it's about the bits they've stolen from his show.
Howard played more of the clip and the woman was going off on Howard and not listening to what the host of the show was talking about.
Howard said he has to go out and promote the smartphone apps. He said that he gave out all of the wrong dates for the shows he's doing. He said that he wants to go on Jimmy Kimmel's show but he's having trouble booking the date. He said his agent has to work on that for him. He said this is turning into one big headache. He said that he has a new date for Jon Stewart's show and he'll be doing Jimmy Fallon's show. He said he's not doing Conan just because he's out in L.A. He said he's not flying out there to do it.
Howard said that Jay Leno is a douche bag because he stuck around at NBC even though they fired him to replace him with a younger guy. Howard said that Jay should have left the network and done another show. Howard said that Regis Philbin is leaving his show and he's leaving because he wanted to make a deal to do less days and they wanted him to take a pay cut. Howard said that Regis will go out and do another show on another network. That's what Jay should have done. Howard said that Jay stuck around at NBC. He said Jay is a baby.
Robin said that even Conan said that he misses being at NBC. Howard said people are psychotic. He said NBC is shit now and it's nothing. They lose to FOX now. Howard said they're dreaming from back when the network was huge and had hit comedies. Robin said she was shocked when she heard Conan say that. Howard said Jay is such a worm and he thinks it's his and no one else's. He said that he should get some balls and kick their ass. Howard said Jay seems to be the only one buying into that over there. He said Letterman just left the network when they didn't give him the Tonight Show.
Howard said this woman Pat Lalama on this Showbiz Tonight show should try to be a little feminine. He replayed the audio of her going off on him. He did an impression of her and goofed on her for a short time. Howard said he wants to know her credentials. She claims to be an investigative journalist. Benjy told Howard what her credentials were and Howard continued to go off on her. Howard saw a picture of her and said she looks like Dr. Laura. Howard said they have a Dr. Laura picture hanging up there and he said she looks nothing like that. They made her look 19 years old in that picture. Benjy asked if he could put a naked picture of her up there. Howard told him to do it. Howard said they have light box pictures of people there and they rotate through them but his picture has to stay up. Howard said that picture makes him happy when he comes in. He said that Jay Thomas makes it up there once in a while. He said he's not sure how he made it up there because they like shitting on Jay there.
Howard said it would be funny if Benjy put that picture up. He asked if she's there broadcasting. Gary said she was only there for a week. Howard said that he hopes she brings in some subscribers. that's all he cares about. He said he'd be fine if they he Hitler there as long as he brought in some subscribers. Howard said it would be great if Benjy got that picture up there. He said they'd probably fire Benjy if he did it though. Howard said he'd take the hit for Benjy though. Howard said that the nuts on the catholic channel might get really upset. Howard said that it is a funny idea.
Howard said that Richard streaked for the Cosmo channel once. Benjy said they are made to walk through other hallways now when they have parties like that. Robin said that Richard is the reason for that.
Gary told Howard they have Martha Stewart parties there and he sees people ironing tablecloths and stuff. Howard TV had some video of Richard streaking through that Cosmo party. Howard checked that out. Howard said that they had that Emeril Lagasse party there once. he's not even sure if he has a show there. Gary said that sometimes they have guest hosts who are only on for a couple of months.
Richard came in and talked about how they got kicked out of a party once because they were eating ribs in a party and they were caught. Howard said that Scott the Engineer was told not to go to a party and he went in anyway.
Gary said this guy who was being ''Baba_Booey'' was saying terrible things so he had him kicked off. Howard asked what's going to happen if he starts tweeting. Gary said that they will verify him and that means they know for a fact it's the real Howard Stern. Howard said he may just follow people. Robin said that people get angry at that too. They want you to comment. Howard asked Gary what they write to him when he Twitters. Gary said he'd read some to him.
Gary told Howard what some of the responses were to him when he wrote about the football game this weekend. Gary read some and they were brutal. Gary said that's all he sees even though some people are nice. Howard said he doesn't want to go through that.
Howard said he saw Sal posted a picture of his dick using an iPad. Howard said that's just gross and JD was saying he doesn't want to touch him ever again. Howard said that he saw that Sal had posted a picture of himself coming home at night while his wife slept. Sal said she doesn't even know about that.
Howard read some of Sal's tweets and said that they weren't even making sense. Sal said he got really fucked up that night and he was venting his frustrations. Howard read through the posts and he was talking about what he wanted to do to his wife but said that she'd just punch him like a rapist if he did.
Gary read one to Howard from Sal and how his wife might throw him in the oven like Hitler if he wakes her up. Howard read some of the other posts and said they were like the babbling's of a moron.
Howard said that Sal mooches rides off of everyone and he makes Jewish jokes while he's driving home with Jon Hein. Sal said that he and Jon play a game where they try to figure out if the cars are being driven by a black person or not.
Howard asked Sal how they figure out if someone is Jewish driving a car. Sal said that they have ways of figuring it out. Howard told Sal to get out. As he was going he told Howard that Jon was the one who made up the game. Howard said Sal is gross. He had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and talked about that song a little bit. Howard said David Lee Roth really gets into that song. They played the Ronnie clip prank call that they played a little earlier in the show where they had Ronnie asking the guy if he was gay over and over.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show. That led to Fred and Howard doing their Gary impressions and goofed on him about being on that parks and recreation board.
Gary pointed out that Howard was on a condo board at one time. Howard said he didn't go to the meetings and that's what Gary should be doing too. Howard said that they kicked him off the board because of that.
Howard wondered what Gary knows about parks and recreation. He did more of his impression and goofed on him about the stuff he might talk about.
Jon Hein also gave Howard the okay to get a Droid. Gary said he likes the Droid 2 and if Howard likes it he should get it. Howard said that Gary was giving him a hard time about giving him an answer. Howard said Gary is going to have a hard time making decisions on that parks board. Howard asked Gary when he's going to be able to get an answer for him. Gary said he doesn't have a timetable. Howard said he's had it for two days now. Gary said he doesn't have an answer today. He's only been using it for two days. Howard said he knew if he liked his Blackberry in 2 days. Gary asked why he's getting rid of it then. Howard said he wants to try something new.
Robin said that Ralph has had an iPhone for a couple of years and he hasn't swayed Howard at all. Gary said that he's worried about what Howard will say. He said that if it was Fred asking him about it he'd tell him to get the Droid 2.
Howard said he had to move along. Jon finished up his Wrap Up Show preview.
Robin started her news with a story about how the only provider of sodium thiopental is going to stop production. They're the only company that provides this drug and it's used in lethal injections. Robin said that they've banned capital punishment in Europe so they're doing away with this drug.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Howard that his Piers Morgan interview was even better the second time around. Howard had to hang up on Mariann because she was cutting into the conversation he was trying to have.
Robin thanked the people at the hospital where they did the operation on her cat. Robin said that they did a wonderful job down there in Philadelphia. Robin thanked some people down there. Howard said he doesn't like her cat's name ''Brangelina.'' Robin said she loves the names. Robin said that they look exactly like the people they're named after. Howard said they don't and he's not sure why she did that. Howard said he likes the new cat Leroy Brown. He said he thinks that Robin did the Brangelina thing because he named his dog Bianca Romijn Stamos. Robin said it may have been an inspiration. Howard said he wants her to clear all of her pet names through him.
Howard said her story is pretty interesting though. This cat Leroy gave up a kidney and Robin had to adopt him. Robin said that Leroy is starting to get more comfortable in the house and last week he was kind of bathroom bound for a while and now he's out and about. Robin said that she's definitely keeping this cat. She said that he's wonderful. They spent a few more minutes talking about the cats before Robin got back to her news.
Robin read about how the Denmark has one of the highest cancer rates in the world. Robin said that Ireland came in second and New Zealand came in number 3. She said that the higher income countries seem to have a higher cancer rate. Robin said that you do have more technology in those countries and you eat a richer diet. Robin said that the poor countries have more access to nature and less to the tech.
Robin read a story about a man who died over the weekend when he plunged over the side of a bridge. Robin said the man was in an accident and a pickup truck lost control and crashed into the scene knocking the guy over the overpass and he fell 30 feet and died.
Robin read about how the temperatures are continuing to drop. Howard said he wants to move down to Palm Beach. Robin asked what's stopping him. She's ready to go too. Howard said he doesn't think that guests would come down there. Howard said he has no ties to New York now that his youngest daughter is going to college this year. Robin said that she'd like to get out of there too. Howard said he wouldn't even mind the 50s and 60s in Los Angeles. He said they should look into it for a couple of months out of the year.
Howard said that he thinks that Fred would be fine leaving his wife and kid behind for a couple of months. They could put their money together and buy Kelsey and Camille Grammer's house out there. Robin said it would be like a Bubba studio deal. Howard said Bubba has a compound down there.
Robin read about how texting and social networking is getting people into the sack faster now. Howard said it is a great way to get people in bed. He said he would use that to pick up chicks if he was single. Robin said that it can help people contact each other and make people think they've been in contact longer than they actually have.
Howard asked Jon Hein what happened to the ratings on the second night of American Idol. Gary said they went down and they were down double digits from last year. Howard said he's fascinated with why J-Lo and Steven Tyler took that job. He said that he heard they needed the money. Robin didn't think that could be it. Howard said he heard stories about the two of them and why they may have needed the money. Howard said that her records aren't selling. Robin said that Marc Anthony is huge in the Latin world. Howard said it's not. Robin said she saw them at a party once and she knows that they had to have been paid to be there. She said they looked miserable there too.
Howard said he's heard that Joe Perry is really pissed about the whole thing and he's upset about what it might mean for the image of the band. Howard said that's how they make a living and Joe is worried. Jon Hein came in and told Howard about how their numbers have dropped but they're still number one in the ratings. Howard said he's back on board and he likes the show. He said Steven is interesting to look at and he's funny to listen to. He said he's still watching even though there's a lack of a set opinion.
Howard said his parents told him he was fabulous on the Piers Morgan show. He said that his mom was happy he mentioned his parents. He said that he did say that his dad was distant though. She didn't mind that.
Robin read a story about a new MTV series called Skins. She said that 3 advertisers have pulled ads from the network. Robin read about how Wrigley, Taco Bell and General Motors pulled ads from the show. They spent a minute talking about that show and how much press it's getting.
Howard said Gary gave him a documentary called ''The Mayor of Sunset Strip'' and he was bored by it. Gary said he loved it and a bunch of other people he gave it to loved it too. Howard said he watched it for 45 minutes and he had to stop watching. He was bored. Gary said he did give it a fair shot. He thought that he'd like it. Howard said he didn't like it and it reminded him about how scary shitty the radio business is.
Robin got back to her news and read about how 3D is supposed to be the next big thing for TV. She said that 1 in 4 people have a hard time seeing 3D. She said it makes some viewers queasy too. Robin said that it's people who have a problem getting their eyes to converge correctly. She said that if you get car sick easy then it might be a problem for you. Howard doesn't like it. He did a live commercial after that.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about Keith Olbermann leaving MSNBC. Howard said he doesn't know his work very well. Robin said the departure is apparently over money. Robin said that he's apparently not allowed to talk about his leaving and he won't be able to do that until the fall of this year. Robin said they say that Rachel Madow may replace him. Howard said he likes her. He said he usually watches FOX news and people like Glenn Beck. Howard said Beck has been going off on this one woman and painting her like a villain and now she's getting death threats. Howard said Beck claims that he's not doing anything wrong but his fans are getting violent about it. Howard and Robin spent a couple of minutes talking about that.
Robin read a story about a woman who has been charged in the abduction of a child 24 years ago. Robin said that a warrant has been issued for her arrest.
Robin read about the problems they're having in Mexico lately with drug lords and kidnappings. Robin said that they're coming into the resort areas now so it's getting kind of scary down there. Robin read some details about how 34,000 people have been killed down there. Howard said he's been warning people about this for years. He said that they can't have the criminals running the whole operation down there.
Robin read about this Jared Laughtner and the charges that have been brought against him for the murders he committed.
Howard said that our military is eventually going to be going into Mexico. Howard said we should be charging these countries to go in and clean them up. Robin said that's not going to happen in Mexico. Howard said we need a price for what we do in these countries. Howard said they're going to have to go into Mexico and do something. Howard said no one else will step up and do anything so we're going to have to. Howard did another live commercial.
Robin read a story about how some reusable bags have a lot of lead in them. Robin said some tests were done and they found that they contained lead. Robin said it's often the bag inserts. She said that there were some from Safeway and CVS that had a lot of lead content. Howard said that's so lame. Robin said she has been given some but she never has them with her when she goes shopping.
Robin read about this piano player that played during the State Dinner last week. Robin said they say that he played an anti-American song during his piano playing. Robin said that there may never be peace on earth.
Howard said he got a note from Don Kirshner's son who said that his father was going to call and congratulate them on signing for another 5 years. He said that it was just the week before he died that he had asked for the number.
Robin said that Sacha Baron Cohen is going to be playing Saddam Hussein in an upcoming movie. Howard said that's great. They spent a minute talking about that.
Robin read about how the Pittsburgh Steelers took down the NY Jets yesterday. She had some audio of Rex Ryan talking about that.
Robin brought up how the song ''Money for Nothing'' has been banned up in Canada for the use of the word ''faggot.'' Howard spent a few minutes talking about that. They have to play an edited version up there if they want to play it. Howard said he'd be okay not hearing the song at all.
Robin read about how Michael Douglas has beaten cancer and she had some audio of him talking about that. Douglas said the tumor is gone but he has to get checked monthly. Robin said that he told Matt Lauer more about that. She had a few clips from that interview.
Robin read about a Utah highway patrol officer who got into trouble over a high speed pursuit and then broke this woman's window as she was about to drive off. Robin said sometimes you have to deal out punishment on the street. Howard said he's not against violence by police when used appropriately. Howard said there are so many assholes out there. He said that some people have to be beaten.
Robin read about James Cameron's new movie called ''Sanctum.'' She had some audio of Cameron talking about shooting the movie in 3D. Robin said she liked The Green Hornet in 3D. Howard said he didn't see it in 3D.
Robin read about the movie ''Gnomeo and Juliet'' and had some audio of Elton John talking about doing the music for the movie. Howard didn't care. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:10am.
Jon went over some other stuff that they were going to cove today. Jon asked JD if he's ready to take Eric the Midget on in a video challenge. JD said he might be ready. Gary said that Eric is threatening people and he'd like to see what he'd actually do. He said that they could just go over and tip his wheelchair over and he wouldn't be able to do anything.
Jon went over some other stuff they were going to cover and brought up Howard's thoughts on Tweeting. Gary said Howard will do it and he'll see just how ugly it can get. Gary said that he was told to just take tweets from his followers. He said that anyone can tweet back to him if they want. He said it can get under your skin.
Jon asked JD how many of his 20,000 followers knock him. JD said he gets called names a lot. Gary said they were out in Vegas a couple of weeks ago so he posted something about Seattle and asking if a 6th seed had ever gone that far and people went off on him for posting that because he was wrong. Gary said that people love to shove your face in things that they know.
Jon asked Gary how he's feeling after last night's game. Gary said he feels horrible. He said his son was beating up a couch after they lost. Gary said the Jets just got themselves into a hole they couldn't get out of and the whole first half was a nightmare. Gary said he thinks that Rex Ryan is funny but he can see why people are annoyed with him. Gary and Jon went over that stuff for a couple of minutes.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's very emotional about the Jets too and he wondered what Gary felt when he walked in this morning. Gary said that he and Jon don't have any bets or anything and they don't rub it in one another's faces. Jon took some more calls and spent more time talking football with Gary and JD.
Gary said that Jon's wife had to turn to him during the game and ask him not to break anything at one point. Jon said that he's very passionate about the game so he gets worked up over things. He said he punched the couch. Benjy asked dif he's ever hit his wife. Jon said of course not. He said he thinks about what he's punching before he does it.
Gary said that there were some pictures of him posted in some articles and one was at his book signing and another was him next to a stripper with his book. He's not so worried about running for an office or anything so he's okay with that.
Jon asked Gary about the goofing he took from Howard and Fred today. Gary said that he's okay with the impressions but when Robin gets in on it then it's kind of piling on. JD said he likes watching Howard doing his impression because of the face he makes. He said he laughs so hard in his office that Gary can hear it. Gary said it really is loud and he can hear it in his office.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that his son beat up a couch and he was weeping and crying when the Jets lost. He said he's sorry he brought him into that world.
Gary said that his son Jackson came home crying after the game. He said that he had to tell him to cut it out. The caller said that he feels guilty for bringing his kid into this.
The caller was talking about how he thinks that Gary could do a number of things when Howard retires. He said he thinks that he'd be able to do a radio show. Gary said he hopes that in 5 years he'll have something lined up.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary how his Jets did. Gary said they lost. Gary said that they made it farther than his Patriots did. The caller said that he'll be alright. They spent a couple of minutes going back and forth about their teams. They had to go to break after that.
Gary said he knows that Howard would blame him if he did recommend it and Howard doesn't like it. Gary said that Howard is asking if he should get the phone and he can't tell him yes if he doesn't think that he'll like it. Gary said that nothing is perfect. He said that the phone is good and people always tell them to wait for a future phone.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that there is no one on the show who doesn't know that Howard would hang that thing on Gary if he didn't like the phone. He said that he should never recommend anything to him because that's the only reason he asks him.
Gary said that he recommends a lot of stuff to Howard that he does like. He said that he didn't know about the Black Swan thing. The caller said that he's damned if he does and dammed if he doesn't.
Jon said that it really is a dammed if you do or dammed if you don't. Gary said that he gets a lot of screeners that Howard gets too and he's not sure why Howard didn't get the Black Swan. He said he doesn't know what he has and he's not sure what he expects him to do. He said he's going to have the movie for him tomorrow so he's not sure how much quicker he could get it to him.
Benjy said he wanted to tease Lisa today about her cupcakes. He said that Tim's neighbor Brooke made some cupcakes. Gary said that she told them that she made them and they told her to make some. Gary said that Lisa made some mini cupcakes and Brooke made some huge ones. They all got put out in the hall and they were joking about how they could use them for stands for the big cupcakes and things like that. Gary said that Benjy thought that Lisa had taken her's out of the hall.
Benjy said that Lisa was taking her cupcakes away when she'd have a lull in the interest for them. He said that might be what happened. Benjy said that he liked Lisa's cupcakes but he loved Brooke's. He said he actually didn't even try Brooke's yet.
Brooke came in and said that Ronnie told her to bring some in so that's what she did. She said that she didn't see him eating any. JD said he could hear him from his office this morning when she brought them in. Gary said she has a cupcake carrier and it was a triple tier carrier.
Jon asked who had some of her cupcakes. Gary had one. Some of the interns tried them. She said she brought a few different ones and they
Jason came in and said that Brooke's cupcakes were awesome and he had one of each. He tried Lisa's too and they were very small. He said they were very good tasting but Brooke's were more creative. Benjy said he thought Lisa's were really good. He asked whose tasted better bite for bite. Jason said he has to go with Brooke's.
Jon asked Jason if he thinks that Lisa got upset about Brooke bringing her's in. Jason said he didn't see any of that going on. He said that Lisa was the one who suggested she put her's out with the other cupcakes so he doesn't think there was a problem. Gary said that Benjy tried to get Howard to buy into the cupcake competition but Howard wasn't buying it. They had to go to break after that.
Gary said he went to Ross' office the other day and he told him that he had just taken a great shit in the bathroom and Ross got upset that he still can't use that bathroom.
Jon got them back to the Twitter discussion and asked what he thinks Howard is going to see if he starts tweeting. Gary said that it's a very negative place in general and Howard is going to see that if he starts tweeting. He said that people won't even read what he writes before they bash him. Jon said that a lot of people pretend to be who they're not and they start bashing the show and stuff. Gary said that he gets a lot of positive stuff and he only ''sees'' the negative stuff. Jason said that he's going to get so much email if he starts doing that. Jason said that Howard has asked them why they waste their time there and now he's going to do it. Jason wondered what happened there.
Jon said that Sal was on there on Saturday night and he was laughing his ass off with those tweets. Gary said that he was wondering if he was drunk or stupid with the spelling mistakes. Sal said he was very drunk that night. He said it was taking a while to type them out so he was kind of giving up on correcting.
Jon asked Sal about the way he was tweeting about the possibility of having sex with his wife when he gets home and he knows that's not going to happen. Sal said that it would be like a score if he had done that. He said he was pretty messed up that night. Sal said that's just a character he plays.
Gary said that Sal took the picture down. Sal said he took it down because he didn't want her to be upset about it. He said he had one of those moments where he realized what he did. He took the one picture down and that was it. He left the rest of the posts up there.
Gary said that usually people have to tell him he's wrong but this time Sal did it on his own. Sal said he didn't think it was that bad and a lot of it would have been on him. Sal said he was in a bad place. Jon asked if he regrets it. Sal said he can't regret it and he may do it again. He said it helped him vent a little bit. He said he won't take pictures when he's drunk anymore either. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about his opening song (The Great American Nightmare) and how he'd like another shot at recording it. He said that Rob Zombie told him how to sing it and he didn't think it worked. Howard said it wasn't working for him and the whole session was a nightmare for him. He said he wants another shot and complained about it like Herman Munster would.
Howard said Rob is his boy. He's out on the road performing right now. Howard said he hears from Rob and his wife Sheri. They don't want kids so they have a nice life. Howard said Rob wants to be a rock star and Sheri wants to be the rock star life. Howard said it sounds good to him. He said that there is more work involved than they know apparently.
Howard said he's getting a new phone today. He said he's getting the Droid 2 Global. He said that they're telling them that the Lotus Notes eats up the battery time. He tried Gary's phone out yesterday and the video was freezing up and things like that. He said he sees some potential with the phone. He said that Gary is nervous that he's going to blame him if he doesn't like the phone.
Howard said that Jon Hein has a Droid Pro and it has the same operating system. Howard said he's kind of upset that the video was freezing up on Gary's phone. Jon Hein didn't have that problem on his. Gary said when he went outside it was fine. He said he walked down the block and it was fine. Gary said sometimes that's just the way the service acts.
Howard said Jason has a Droid X and he has the virtual keyboard and he can type on that really fast. Gary said he uses that Swype thing where you move your finger from letter to letter. Howard said he doesn't want that.
Howard said he's going to try this thing out and see what happens. He can go back to his blackberry if he has to. Vinnie Favale was telling him he's making a mistake and he should have an iPhone and an iPad. He said he needs a phone that can work with everything so he can watch video and things like that. He said he will let Robin know how it works. He said that she can blame him if she doesn't like it. Howard said Robin yells at him all the time about her phone. Gary said she'll end up blaming him instead of Howard.
Robin asked if the phone is pretty solid state. Howard said it's enough with the cell phones. No one care what they're using. He said that he's pretty sure everyone wants to tell him to shut up.
Howard said they sent Pete to the Erotic Expo and they should do more of that. He said that he was funny doing that.
Howard played some audio of Pete at the Exotic Expo where he was talking to some porn stars. He was asking one woman if she uses the N-word when she's having sex. She said that she doesn't use that word and Pete told her that was great. He asked a few other questions about sex and she was getting annoyed with him.
Howard said his buddy was telling him that he should be typing in themes on YouPorn instead of someone's name. He said that stuck in his mind so he tried it out last night. He said maybe he's getting soft but he was shocked by what he saw. He said this one guy set up a thing where he has a camera set up in his office. He had women come in and audition and told women that he could get them some money to do porn. He said that they had to blow him and fuck him and he'd send the tape out to a porno studio. Howard said the guy tells the girls that he was lying when he's done with them. Howard said he felt bad for the girls.
Howard said the women would do things for this guy thinking they'd be getting into the industry. He said they all start sucking his dick and fuck him and he's spraying jizz all over their face. He said he was rubbing his meat getting depressed. He said he did finish but he was depressed afterward. Howard said he knows the girls are completely ill. He said he believes this is all real too. Robin wasn't so sure. She said that he must need releases to show them. Howard said he has releases because he told them what he was doing. He said the girls were all fine with it.
Howard said this was called Back Room Casting Couch and he's not going to watch them anymore. He said he likes the Babysitting videos. He said that the babysitter comes over and gets fucked by the husband. He said that this casting couch thing is real. Benjy insisted that it wasn't. Howard insisted it was. They went back and forth on that for a short time.
Howard said he doesn't feel so bad if it's all fake. He said his friend told him about this and he may have to tell him that he thinks differently about him now. Howard said that the guy told him he had to watch this stuff. He said it wasn't Sal either.
Sal came in and told Howard that he has a list of things that he can search for on there. He had it all alphabetized. Sal read some of the stuff off the list but Howard had no interest in that. Sal said it was some crazy stuff he had listed there.
Howard said that he can't get that deep into it. He said he won't be able to beat off to porn if he does that. Howard said a lot of the girls were ugly in that video. He had to go through like 7 videos before he got to one that looked good. He said some of the girls had a gut. He said he's fucked some girls like that so he needs to see hotter chicks.
Howard said he likes that Little Caprice. Sal said she's too young. He said he doesn't like her. Howard said he didn't think she looked that young. Howard said he has to beat off to his iPad and he doesn't have his glasses on. Robin said that porn is so easy to get now. Howard said he never would have left the house if he had this when he was a kid.
Howard said he wished he had known about all of these positions he could have tried. He said he could have had a really good time doing it back then. Fred told Howard that Little Caprice is 22 years old. He gave him some other info about where she's from too.
Gary asked what the ''passed out'' videos are that Sal mentioned. Howard said that the guy comes in and chloroforms a girl and does stuff with her but he doesn't fuck her. He said it's a fetish thing. Sal said Richard wants Howard to do that to him. Robin said that's how gay Richard is. He wants Howard to change his outfit while he's knocked out. Howard said if he could be guaranteed that he won't die from it then he'd do it. He said that's not going to happen.
Richard came in and said that he spoke to a doctor about that and he says he can do this very safely. Howard asked what he wants him to do. Richard said it would be funny to change his outfit. Howard said he could pose him and things like that. Richard said he can stick his finger in his butt if he wants. Howard said he doesn't want to do that.
Howard said that he would put him in a garbage can and put him in the elevator. He said they could do that and get kicked out of the building.
Richard said he used to have to go digging through tractors on the farm to find nudie magazines. He said his dad used to get a catalog that had women in bikinis and he used to jerk off to that. Howard said he used to jerk off to girdles in magazines. Howard said you can't learn to fuck from the naked magazines. He said that they'd look at playboy in his bedroom because he had a subscription. He said his mom didn't want him sharing since the other mom's might get upset.
Howard said when he was 13 he asked his mom for Playboy and she said okay. He said that she told him that those women were freaks. She told him that he'd never find a woman who looks like that. Meanwhile look at Beth. Howard said he found one alright. Richard said he could never ask his parents for something like that. Howard said he always through that sex wasn't such a big deal. He said he was the only one who had stag films and stuff like that. He did hide the fact that he jerked off though. Howard joked that his mom jerked him off.
Howard said he didn't want to jerk off to real women. He said he would rather jerk off to Playboy chicks. Howard said he didn't want to see the women with big bushes and stuff. Howard said there was a corner in Roosevelt where he would find nudist magazines and some guy must have been throwing them out there. He said he would pick them up and check them out. Robin wondered who had touched them and what they did to them. Howard said he had no idea and didn't think about it. He said the women in there had such big bushes they might as well have been wearing underwear.
Howard said the nudist magazine was just one he had. He said he hid it in his sister's dolls in the basement. He said that she had cases for the dolls and he would hide that and cigars down there. He said that he'd smoke the cigar a little bit and then stick it in the box. He said he's lucky he never caught fire to the house. He said he was sitting in the basement reading nudie magazines and smoking cigars.
Howard said their basement was someplace that no one went other than him. He said it was a cold basement and looked like some place where people would go to kill a hooker. Sal said that sounds like a theme for a porn.
Howard said he was in the basement jerking off and stuff like that. He said once they went down there and his sister remembered her dolls. He was freaking out thinking that she'd find his stuff. Howard said that he never did anything with her dolls though.
Howard said he had ventriloquist dummies that he used. He said he should have been playing guitar instead. He said he was busy pretending that he was talking for the dummy instead. He said he wasn't even good at it. He said that you can't say R's and P's with your mouth. He said that if you want to say ''bitch'' you end up saying ''itch.'' he said he was awful at it. He would run out of things to say and it was just bad. Howard said his psychiatrist thinks that goes back to him wanting to pull everyone's strings and control everything.
Howard said that he won't watch any movies about living dummies. He said that one Twilight Zone fucked him up. Richard told him to check out ''Dead Silence'' because that would really scare him. Howard said he won't ever do that. Richard said there's also a great Tales from the Crypt that's similar. He said that's really scary too.
Sal said he thinks that Otto and George talk to each other. Howard said he's funny because his lips move when he talks. Richard said he would get mad at himself when he'd be on the show. Sal said that Otto told him once that he doesn't like to talk unless George is with him.
Howard said he's doing Jimmy's show and has the correct date. He's doing it via satellite though and he's kind of bummed about that.
Robin asked about Jimmy getting another 5 minutes. Howard said that Jimmy was upset about the ratings he was getting because his show starts at like 12:07 or later and he kind of gets fucked that way. Howard said that it's like ABC doesn't trust him. Robin said that they apparently made this promise to Jimmy that they'd get him on at the right time from now on. Howard said he'll be on at Midnight from now on. He said Jimmy would rather be on at 11:30 but they have Nightline on now. Howard said that they're going to cut back Nightline by 5 minutes. He thinks that he's doing an interview with them too. Howard said he has like 7 appearances coming up.
Howard said he got a nice note from Neil Sedaka. He said that he was going to write him back but didn't want him to have his email address. Howard said he sent that email to Gary. Howard said he got the note about his appearance on Piers Morgan's show and Neil said he was ''ear delicious.'' Howard said that he was afraid that Neil was going to start asking to come on the show and things like that.
Howard said he fears that everyone who has his email is going to ask him for something. He said that's what happens usually. He said that they will ask him for something eventually. Robin said he should talk to his shrink about that.
Howard talked about how his shrink actually listens to what he tells him and he's shocked by that. Robin said that her shrink once asked what it was that she didn't like about her. Howard said he did that once and told his shrink he hated his dirty socks and things like that. Robin said that she hated that her shrink smoked while she was in there and she never smoked after that.
Howard read that Ted Williams has bailed on rehab. Robin said that Dr. Phil thought he was his savoir but that's obviously not working. Howard said that Ted Williams didn't like that he couldn't drink.
Howard said that he's been sitting with this for a while. He said that they tested an ape for IQ and Coco the gorilla tested between 70 and 95 and that's potentially higher than Bobo did. Howard said that Bobo will say that he had a good business and has a house on the water. He said that he's been calling and telling them that he has that house on the water and a house. He said that this ape is now a driving instructor. Howard said this ape also has his own hair.
Howard read about the ape and how they knew over 2,000 words. Howard said he's sure Bobo doesn't even know that many. Howard said that they go on to say that they have scored between 70 and 95 on the IQ test. Howard said that's pretty impressive.
Howard played a clip of Bobo complaining about Yucko the Clown calling him stupid. Bobo said that he worked for 37 years and accomplished a lot. He said they told him that he needed that stereo Bluetooth app for his phone. He said that Yucko didn't have to go off on him. He was distracted by his kid and he was thrown off by all of what he was just saying. Howard said that Bobo was cursing like a sailor in front of his kid.
Howard played another clip of Bobo calling back and going over the same stuff about Yucko. He said he was able to retire at 57 and he has skills. He said Yucko has nothing. Howard wondered how he was able to retire at 57. He said that he'd like to know how he was able to do that. Fred said if he worked for a school then maybe that's how he was able to do it.
Howard said that Patrick Carlin is going to be calling into the show later. He's George Carlin's brother and now he's out doing comedy. He said he has a lot of stuff to get to but he has to take a break. Howard joked that they have Burt Pryor coming on tomorrow. He joked that it was Richard Pryor's brother. They went to break after that
Howard came back and took a call from a guy who brought up Glenn Beck and something that Howard had brought up. Howard said that no one knew what this guy was talking about. Howard said he sounds like Eric the Midget doing a YouTube video. Howard had to explain what the caller was talking about. He said that Glenn Beck was talking about this woman Francis Fox Piven who wrote an article about changing the constitution and Beck has been focusing on her and he's been harping on her forever and she's scared for her life now. Beck's fans have been threatening her. The caller said that Beck is telling his fans to shoot these people in the head. Howard said he saw Beck talking about how he isn't for violence but there are people who are scared of this guy.
Howard said that Beck is telling people to do their own research but the whole thing is ridiculous. Howard said that if you call his show then be better prepared. Howard said he just knows that Glenn Beck was a failed zoo keeper. He said he was a drunken zoo keeper who went into AA and came up with this whole thing he does now.
Howard said that Medicated Pete is there but he had to get Steve Langford in there. Steve came in and said they have a story about how Gary has to go through some more processes before he's voted to the parks and recreation board. Howard was wondering if that is something that everyone has to go through. Gary said that it sounds like this happens to everyone. Howard figured they were just busting Gary's balls. He said that there can't be that many people who want to sit on that board.
Robin said that it sounds like they barely do anything on that board anyway. Gary said that's about right. Robin wondered how certified you have to be to sit on that board. Howard said that's the last thing he would ever do in his life. He said Gary is a good guy but how did he come to that conclusion that he wanted to be on that board. Gary said he's friendly with a selectman there in his town and he was asked to sit on this committee.
Howard said he would never do that. He tried sitting on the board of his condo and he only went to one meeting and then never showed up again. He said they kicked him off the board. He asked Gary if he has to do any work. Gary said he doesn't know yet. He said he'll find that out if he's voted in. Howard said that he wants every free minute to himself and he doesn't want to do things for other people. He said the last thing he wants to do is help anyone. He said he doesn't like helping people. Robin said he has a lot of complaints about people and if he's just going to sit there and point out what's wrong, he's no good.
Howard said if his kids need help with something he'll be there. He wants more freedom in his life. Robin said that a lot of people don't want to do anything to help anyone but they bring kids into this world and then complain about it. Howard said that it's time for his kids to start volunteering.
Steve said that the local paper posted a picture of Gary with a stripper and that could make things tougher for Gary. Howard asked if the paper is saying that he's not fit to be on this committee. Steve said that's not what it appears to be but he's not sure that it's going to help him out. Gary said he's fine with however it shakes out. Gary said that if they don't want to hire this volunteer then they can find another one. He said the job doesn't pay. Gary said it would be funny if he was the first one ever rejected.
Steve said that Sam Simon has started a mobile food bank out in Los Angeles. Dr. Laura has also chimed in about Keith Olbermann and she's saying that they won't need his ''Worst Person in the World'' segment since they have that with Howard Stern and whoever he's ranting about. Howard asked why she's working there. He wants to know if anyone is listening to her show. He said that he'd like to know why she's there and Bubba the Love Sponge isn't. He said that he's 10 times better than her on any day of the week. He said that she's a scraggly bitch. He said that her picture was taken out of the lobby as of this morning. Howard said that he doesn't want to stare at her puss. He said that there isn't any Dr. Laura out there now. It's Martha Stewart and the reason is that he complained yesterday. Howard said he can't believe that she's there enjoying the freedoms that he's created. Howard said that the only reason she has a place to go is because of him and only him. He said she is to say only positive things about him.
Steve had a story about a blogger who wrote about how Piers Morgan could learn some stuff from Howard Stern. Howard said that he saw that article. They spent a minute on that and Steve wrapped up with a plug for Riley Martin's show.
Howard came back and had Medicated Pete come in. Pete came in telling Howard it was fucking cold outside. He was freezing his ass of and said he wants to move. Howard said that he used to be an intern there and he has Tourette's so he has to get stuff off his mind. That's why he was complaining about the cold. Pete said it was actually nice in there. He said he was going to leave the scarf on because he kind of likes it. It was adding to his accessories.
Howard said he heard that this show was Pete's godsend and savior. It gave him order and a place to go. He said that he used to just hang out in the library in Jersey and he'd stay there for hours. Robin said that's where they found him actually. Howard said he liked having Pete there for two internship terms. Howard heard he lost his girlfriend. Pete said that was tough. He said that she was cute. Howard said she was cute and she seemed to be into him. Pete said it was a good 9 month run. Pete said she told him that he called her too much and got on her nerves. He rubbed her the wrong way. Pete said he spoke to her last week though. She wanted him to get some stuff from her house. Pete said he was calling maybe 5 or 6 times a day and he wanted some sense of security.
Howard asked if she has a new boyfriend. Pete said he's not sure. Howard said he must be heartbroken since he was getting pussy. Pete said he was a virgin when he met her. He said she took his virginity. Howard said that his mom must have liked that she had him out of the house.
Gary said that Pete lost his virginity to a hooker. Pete said he did but he went into this semi-normally. Howard asked Pete if she broke up all of a sudden or gradually. Pete said it was coming on since September. Pete said that toward the end of it in November and December it was coming to an end. Howard asked if he had to call more when she told him not to call. Pete said that it might have been part of his Tourette's. He said she stopped picking up the phone when she knew it was him. Pete said he would just say hello to her and she stopped picking up.
Howard said that Beth went to Pittsburgh and they texted a couple of times last night and that was it. He said you can't call every 5 minutes. Pete said it was new to him so he didn't know what to do.
Howard said they hooked Pete up with a job and what happened there? Pete was working at NY Health and Racquet Club signing people in. Pete was out of the house and not hanging out in the library for free. Pete said he's still there but he hasn't been working in a while. Howard asked how he can get away with that. Pete said he had to get his meds adjusted. He said he was getting kind of panicky because of his Tourette's. Howard asked what happens when it gets worse. Pete said that it was just panic and it was intense. Howard asked if he was acting weirder than usual. Pete said he was shaking and stuff. Howard told him to call when he's like that. They can send Howard TV to tape him.
Howard asked if the chick he was seeing heard he was in the hospital. Pete said she came to visit actually. Howard said that chick was like a saint. Pete said he has nothing bad to say about her at all. Howard said that's really nice of her to come and visit him. Pete said he thought that hey might get back together while that was going on. Howard said she's a good chick and he might have to set her up with someone.
Howard asked Pete how long he was in the hospital. Pete said it was about a week and a half. Howard said he must have been a real mess to be in that long. Robin said that if they're adjusting the meds then they might have to keep him in. Howard said that he must be getting free medical. Pete said he does. Robin said it's paid for by everyone else.
Howard said that Pete was just hanging out in the hospital. He asked if he enjoyed that. Pete said he was hanging out reading Gary's book (They Call Me Baba Booey).
Howard asked Pete if he's getting appearances and stuff. Pete said that's pretty much dried up. He said that he doesn't have much going on. Howard noticed that Pete is doing something new with his leg. Pete said he didn't even know he was doing it. Howard asked if he keeps in touch with the people he was working with. Pete said he was at their Christmas party. He said that the people there love him and he's not even sure why.
Robin asked why Pete isn't back to work. Pete said that his doctor told him he needs more time off. He was stressed out from work. Howard said Pete is really fucked up. He asked what he did at that job. He was checking IDs at the health club and he has to look people up. Pete said that he would ask people what the fuck they were doing there if they weren't in the system. Howard said that Pete's leg is really going like crazy.
Howard asked Pete about his bleeding hands. Pete said he knows it's nasty. He can't help what he does. He was snorting and sniffling the whole time too. Howard asked if his mom is nauseated from eating his fingers. Pete said that she has told him he has to stop eating his fingers. Howard said he has to get back to his job. Howard said he worked there and he must miss it. Robin said she thinks that he was devastated by that. Howard asked if he can put his foot in his mouth. Pete said he can't reach. Howard asked if he's going to try now that he put that thought in his head. Pete said he might work on perfecting that.
Gary said he was reading Pete's resume and he claims that he's good with some editing software and things like that. Pete said he worked on that stuff at CSB (Connecticut School of Broadcasting). Gary said that he doesn't mention anything about working at the Stern Show. Pete said he has to update that. Gary said he worked at the Rocky Allen Showgram but he doesn't mention the Stern Show. Pete also claims that he was a DJ on a station. Pete said that was at his college station. He was also an announcer at a school.
Howard asked if he was able to answer the phones at Rocky Allen's show. Pete said he was able to do it. Howard said he was barely able to answer the phones there. They weren't able to find anything for him to do there. They had to take him off the phones because he was spending too much time talking to the callers.
Howard asked Pete if he could edit for the TV show. Pete said he can't do that to their standards. He said he doesn't think that he'd be able to handle that.
Howard asked if he missed anything. Gary said that Pete says that he's an Eagle Scout. He asked Pete what his major project was that got him there. Pete said he had to draw the numbers on the fronts of houses in his town. He said he had to stencil the numbers on the houses for the whole town and it took a lot of time. He had to write a 6 page paper on that.
Howard asked if the other kids freaked out when they saw him. Pete said they did. He said he had some friends in the group. Howard asked if he still has friends in the Eagle Scouts. Pete said he does. Howard said he thinks that it's kind of nerdy to be an Eagle Scout. Pete didn't seem to think it was. He said he's no longer involved in the club.
Robin asked Pete if he could survive out in the woods. Pete said he could do pretty well. Howard asked about the stenciling of the house numbers. Pete said it was a town code they had where he had to paint them on the curb. Howard was wondering about that. Gary said that when Pete holds a piece of paper he shakes so how could that work. Pete said it wasn't easy. He said he had people helping him out with it.
Howard and Robin said it's too bad that Pete had to leave. They talked about how good he was at doing the porn convention clips were. Howard asked Pete if he thinks that the chick he was dating was only into him because of the show. Pete said there was a little suspicion there but that's it. Howard said that he was just happy he had someone there for him.
Howard said that he'd love to give him a job there but he's not sure there's anything he could do there. He asked Gary what he could do for them. Howard said that Pete is so entertaining and he's like one of the family. Howard asked Robin what she needs done over there. Robin said that it's not that much and he'd have to look up stories for her on the internet. Howard asked Pete if he could do that. Pete said he could. Howard asked what he was making at that health club. Pete said it was like 10 bucks an hour. Howard said that he may not have that much in the budget there. Howard said he wasn't kidding about that either. Pete was only working part time over there. He was making about $120 a week. Howard said that's about what they offered Bubba and he turned it down. Howard asked Pete if he could do afternoons. Pete told him to sign him up.
Howard and Pete were going back and forth saying yes and no. Pete has to repeat or at least respond to everything that's said to him. Howard said he forgot how much fun Pete is. Howard said he could probably get his girlfriend back if he got back on the show.
Pete told Howard that he has the Droid X and it freezes up all the time. Howard asked if that's the one that he's getting. Pete has the one that Jason has. Gary said that it might be user error. Howard asked how he can afford it. Pete said they threw it to him from Verizon. He said that they threw the phone at him after hearing him on the show. Howard asked if he doesn't like it. Pete said the screen freezes. Howard told him not to tell him that. Pete said that he has to take the battery out. Jason has one so Howard asked him if his freezes up every day. Jason said it doesn't. Jason said he has had to take the battery out once in a blue moon. He said it's maybe once a month or two months. Howard said they must have given Pete a defective phone. It was free after all.
Howard had some of the audio of Medicated Pete at the Erotic Expo interviewing porn stars. Pete was talking to one of the stars about yelling out the N-word during sex and things like that. He asked her a bunch of sex questions and stuff like that. Howard said that it was a boring interview but Pete makes it kind of fun.
Howard asked what happened with Tabitha Stevens. She was supposed to do something for Pete. Pete said he wanted to get her phone number but the Howard TV guys couldn't give it to him. Howard ended up playing a prank call the guys made to a guy using Medicated Pete audio clips. They had Pete asking the guy about pianos.
After that Howard asked Pete about doing the Tabitha Stevens thing and if he would do a porno with her. Pete said he'd give it a try. Howard said he's not sure he'd be able to jerk off to a Medicated Pete porno.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Pete came up and hosted a bachelor party up in Vermont. He said that Pete was hilarious. The guy said that they got Pete and had the twins that rode the Sybian together and Pete. Howard asked what Pete got paid for that. Pete said he doesn't remember but they hooked him up with a room for free.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he knows why Pete's phone doesn't work. He said he was out one day and saw Pete out in the rain. He said he was soaking wet and he left his phone in his car. He said he took a picture of him and his phone that day. Howard asked if he remembered that. Pete said he did. Howard asked Pete if he wanted to sit in Gary's office the rest of the day. Pete said he'd like to do that. Howard asked what he would do if he left. Pete might go to the library. Howard asked if he'd like to stand next to Jon Hein too. Pete said he could do that too. Howard said Jon could hang his coat on him.
Jon Hein came in and said that he's glad that Pete is gone. He said that the guys loved watching him when he'd stand there. He said that Pete is a good guy and he's fun to hang around with. He said that one day would be fine for him to stand by. Jon said that Pete might come down to the Wrap Up Show too. He doesn't have to invite him, he'll just show up. He said that he's always locked on and he'll just show up and stand over someone's shoulder.
Gary told Howard about one of Pete's other talents. He said that he'll be talking to people during the show and Pete would somehow figure out how to get between him and the person he's talking to. He just kind of drifts in there.
Jon said that he drifts in and doesn't say anything. Howard asked if that's the Tourette's working. Pete said that's what it is. He said that he has to get in between people. Pete said that it's just impulses. He said it's really funny for all the wrong reasons.
Howard asked Pete if he'd like to hang out there. Pete said ''yeah.'' Howard told him he can't go up to the 37th floor like he used to. He said that he's not supposed to be back there but if he just hangs out with Jon Hein then he's fine. Pete said he won't go up there. Howard said they should let him answer phones for Dr. Laura.
Howard wished Pete luck with everything. Pete asked if they could find him a job. Howard said they did and he couldn't even handle that one. Robin said they have to find him a job there. That's the only place he's going to show up for. Howard asked if his doctor really said he can't go back to work. Pete said that his doctor told him to take some time off so that's what he's doing. Robin said that she really wants them to find him a job there. She said she doesn't want him as her assistant though. Howard said maybe he could take care of her cats. Robin said no to that one too.
Howard said that if something opens up around there he'll keep Pete in mind. He said that he could have donated a kidney to Robin's cat a few weeks ago and then he'd have a home. Robin said that she was talking to Joan rivers about that and how awful it would be if you had to adopt people you got a kidney from.
Howard said he has to get George Lopez in there to talk about what's going on with his ex-wife since she donated a kidney to him. Howard said he was watching his show the other night and he saw Cameron Diaz on the show and she's so hot. Robin said that her face isn't that great. Robin said she's lost her looks and lost them a long time ago. Howard said Robin is nuts. He said she's gorgeous. Robin said she's not sure how she keeps getting these roles. Howard said it makes him mental that A-Rod is fucking her. Howard said Pete should be getting her. Robin said that's right.
Howard asked Pete if he had anything to plug. Pete said he didn't but then he plugged the Club Hotel in Red Bank, New Jersey. He said it's just a good spot. Howard didn't want to get into that so he wrapped up and went to break.
Pete came back in and he said that he thinks they had to put that on there just for some reason. Pete said that he really is an Eagle Scout. He has the badge at home. He said that project he did was a big thing and it wasn't just some little thing. Howard said maybe they gave it to him easier than other guys because of his condition. Gary said he's not sure he's lying. Jason said he looked up Eagle Scouts on Wikipedia and they do have special ones for people with disabilities. Pete said he did not know that. Howard said maybe he's actually a Beagle Scout. Robin said they burst his bubble today.
Howard said that George Carlin's brother Patrick is 79 years old and he's starting a stand-up career now that his brother is dead. Howard had Patrick on the phone and asked why he would never do this when his brother was alive. Patrick said that he never would have done it. He said that his brother told him that he should write his material down and he did encourage him. He said he didn't think it was right to do it though.
Howard said that Patrick kind of sounds like George. He said that he talks a lot like him. Patrick said that he's been talking like that since the 50s. Howard asked what he did for 79 years before becoming a comic. Patrick said he's not a comic, he just gets up and talks about stuff. He said he was a car salesman and other things over the years. He said he worked on radio and stuff like that too. He said he's been married to a woman for 53 years too.
Howard asked Patrick if he has jokes and stuff in his act. Patrick said he talks about condoms and date rape and stuff. Howard asked him to tell some of those stories. Patrick told Howard some of that material. Howard said it sounds like a crazy act. Howard told him he should do like Gallagher 2 and do George's act. Patrick said he's not going to do that. He said he does his own shit. He was around for 5 and a half years before George was.
Patrick did some more material but there weren't any laughs. Howard told him he has to get out on the road. Patrick said he's not looking to get out on the road. He said that he's going to be doing shows for like 70 or 80 people. Howard said that he's playing at 9:30 on Comical Radio Live at the People's Improv Theater in Manhattan. Howard asked if he still lives in New York. Patrick said that he does. He said that he still parks in the old neighborhood because he knows his car will be safe there.
Patrick did a poem for Howard. He went on and on for a good minute or so. Howard asked him why he doesn't just sit back and chill and enjoy the roses. Patrick said he's not going through anything and he's just having fun doing this stuff. Howard said he just likes hanging with the people then. Patrick said he does his bullshit on the corner and all of that. Howard asked if he has a ponytail like his brother. Patrick said that he's as bald as a cue ball.
Howard said he has no problem with him. Patrick said he doesn't care if he does or doesn't. Howard said he may have loved his brother more than he did. Patrick said that's just fine. Howard wished Patrick luck and wrapped up with him a short time later.
Howard said he really just doesn't give a shit. He said that he has some wild material so he may have to go see him. Howard said he remembers interviewing Patrick Swayze's brother once and asked him if it sucks having a brother that successful. He said the guy told him he was just trying to be in show business. He said that at 79 you wouldn't think you'd be trying to get into show business like this guy is doing.
Howard said that it doesn't always work when you're a brother of someone famous. He talked about the Baldwin's, the Bridges and other families like that.
Gary said that the guy called back later and asked if she would bang Howard Stern and she dumped out of it and went to commercial break. Howard told Sal and Richard and all of his listeners to just mention his name. Howard said maybe the show will go away. He said she should just tell people what she really thinks. Howard said they have to stop calling her ''Doctor'' too. He said she's PhD but not an MD. Howard said that it should be reserved for MD's only.
Richard said that they used to prank the shows there and they had a talking to before they started there so they stopped . Howard said ''fuck 'em'' and told Richard to go ahead and do it. Howard said that Dr. Laura said she would never work where Howard Stern works and now she's working there. Howard said this is the place that Howard Stern built. He said that he built that place and most people around there would be happy to admit that.
Howard said that people stood around and applauded him when he started there. They told him that they thought he was going to save the company and that's what he did. Howard said that no one did that for Dr. Laura. He said that she's having all of that plastic surgery and she's giving advice to people? He asked how healthy she is doing that. He said she has to put up a picture of herself that makes her look 19 and she doesn't look like that. He said she should be a little realistic.
Howard asked about where Dr. Laura went to school. Benjy said that she went to Columbia. Howard said that it's not that hard to get into. He said that it is a good school but he bets that her thesis was bullshit. Benjy gave him the information and agreed that it was bullshit. It was the study of effects of insulin used on rats. Howard said that is bullshit. He said she's a horse shit artist and they should get rid of her. He said she doesn't deserve this oasis that they have there.
Howard said he got Dr. Laura's picture replaced out in the lobby. He said they have him, Rosie, Martha Stewart and someone else out there. Howard told Gary to go out and look. Howard changed his mind and told him to have Pete go out and look. Gary told Pete what to do and gave him a piece of paper. He thought that using a wireless mic might work better. Howard said that it's going to break up but Scott the Engineer said it would work.
Pete headed out and the mic started to break up as he moved. Howard told him to let him know whose pictures were out there. Pete went out and gave Howard the details of what was going on. He wasn't even out of the compound and he was losing reception. Pete said he saw Cousin Brucie, Martha Stewart, Mad Dog Russo, Rosie, Depak Chopra and Howard.
Howard said he had Dr. Laura's picture taken down. Howard said Pete loves that air time. Howard said the mic actually worked so he thanked the guys. He said for their standards that was really high.
Howard had a voice mail from Jeff the Drunk asking them to let him walk the red carpet for them. He said it's no skin off their nose. Howard said that it is a huge skin off their nose. Howard said that they have to hire someone to baby sit him and make sure he doesn't do something completely loony. Then they have to hear how he wasn't treated right for days. Howard said Jeff thinks that they can just hand him a mic but it's not that easy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that comedian really sucked earlier. He said that his brother would roll over and die if he heard that. The guy said that he also misses Rogny who passed away last year. Howard said that it's hard to break into your act on the phone so Patrick may have had a hard time getting going there.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he never commented on Jon Favreau not directing Iron Man 3. Howard said Jon probably thinks he's done all he can with that series. Howard said that he kind of gets it and he wants to move on. He said he did Cowboys & Aliens now and he's moving on. The caller asked who is going to direct the Avengers movie. Howard had no idea. Robin said that one of the Fantastic Four is going to get killed off. The caller sounded shocked by that. Howard said that he hopes it's Mr. Fantastic. He said that Norm MacDonald did a bit about that and talked about what kind of person calls himself Mr. Fantastic. Howard said he heard that they're going to kill off the human torch from the Fantastic Four.
The caller asked how he feels about Anne Hathaway playing Cat Woman in the new Batman. Howard said he likes it. He said she's a good actress. The caller asked if she'll look better than Halle Berry did. Howard said she didn't play it the right way. He said she was way over the top. He figured that Anne will do better. He said that Halle Berry is like the most beautiful woman. He said she's remarkable. He said that her physical beauty keeps getting better. He said that she looks even more amazing now than she did in the past. He said that he can't imagine anyone more perfect physically.
The caller asked what he thinks about the Wonder Woman series on NBC. Howard said he forgot to tape ''The Cape'' and missed a few. Jon said it's doing okay in the ratings. They're pushing it pretty heavy. Howard said Marty The Midget is in that series. Howard said he keeps forgetting to set it up in his TiVo.
Howard said that he hops that they do the Wonder Woman in a serious manner. He said if it's a TV show then it might not work. He said he doesn't like it when women beat up men. He said it would be funny if Dr. Laura was Wonder Woman. The caller asked what time her show is on. Gary said it's on from 2-6 on Stars.
The caller said that he called Bubba the other day and he's very adamant about not coming back. He said that even if they offer him the same money he's not coming back. The guy said Bubba called him stupid for thinking that he'd come back.
Howard said he'd like to know how Rosie feels that Dr. Laura is on her channel. He said that Laura once said that Gays shouldn't be allowed to adopt.
Howard had Jon Hein get to his Wrap Up Show rundown. Jon started that but Ralph called in and suggested that Pete become Jon's assistant for the Wrap Up Show. Howard said he's not sure Jon would want that. Jon said he doesn't need help but maybe Ralph could use his help on Geektime. Howard had Jon finish up his show preview after that.
Howard played another Little Mikey song and Mikey gets right to the point. Fred said that he makes a contact point and gets right in there. Howard played more of that song and it makes him smile.
Robin got into her news after Fred played her Guatemalan music over her first words. Robin said that she's not sure that Rosie knows what Dr. Laura has said in the past. She said that Dr. Laura has said that gays try to lure kids into their faith and she's advised people to keep their kids away from them. Robin read some other quotes from Laura where she says that it's a ''biological error'' that makes them gay. They spent a couple of minutes talking about that.
Howard said that Adam Levine of Maroon 5 tweeted about him saying that he's not sure he can trust anyone who doesn't like Howard Stern.
Robin read about Oprah having a half sister she never knew about. Howard said that it seems that Oprah's mom was an incredible slut. He said that this was a different father than Oprah's. Howard said he doesn't know anything about it and asked if the mom confirmed this. Robin said they confirmed it with DNA testing. Robin said that Oprah didn't know that her mother was pregnant so that's how that went unnoticed. Howard said it's so weird and it makes you appreciate Oprah more because of what she came from. Howard said that the sister is shorter and fatter.
Howard said he had Dr. Laura on the phone. It was actually High Pitch Eric calling in as Laura. Howard and Eric tried to get a discussion going but Eric didn't have all that much to add. Howard told Laura he had her picture taken down. She said that she'd have to call her lawyer about that. Eric was done being Dr. Laura so he got out of that and said hi. Howard said that he may have gone on too long with that. He tried.
Robin had some audio of Oprah revealing her sister on her show. Howard said it would have been great if she looked like Halle Berry. They spent a few minutes talking about that story. Howard said that this gives him more respect for her. He said her childhood was really fucked up. He said that he thought his was bad but Oprah's was worse. Howard said that Lisa G says that all of Oprah's siblings have different fathers. Howard said that's some upbringing.
Robin had some audio of Oprah and her half sister Patricia. Robin had Howard play those clips and they spent a few more minutes talking about it. Howard said that Patricia could be in the money with Oprah if she plays this right. He said she has to play it cool though. Howard was whooping and getting all worked up like he was this Patricia woman. Howard said that she has to play it cool and just send her a Christmas card every year and not get too into it. He said she just has to wait. She has to act all bougie around her too. He said that she's going to have to enroll in charm school and things like that. Howard did an impression of her talking to Oprah and introducing her to the family. They went to break a short time later.
After the break we heard a prank call Sal made to a pizzeria asking them to send over a nice delivery boy to take care of him. Fred also played Chris Cornell's ''Black Hole Sun'' as they were coming back.
Robin got back to her news and read more about the Oprah story. Robin said that Oprah took Stedman with her to meet her new family. Robin said that they went in and Oprah said it was nice to meet everyone and Stedman asked ''what was that?'' after they got in the car. Howard said he has a feeling that it's going to be a bummer for the half sister. Howard said they have to get her in there to talk about what's really going on. He said she was ignored for 3 and a half years. Howard said he's glad that his mom wasn't out fucking around and having kids. He said Oprah had such a kooky life.
Robin read about the nominations for this year's Academy Awards. Robin had some audio of some people reading the lists of nominees. Howard and Robin were arguing over some of the nominees and who they think should win.
Robin read about the rumors of who might replace Regis Philbin. Ryan Seacrest, Jeff Probst, Mario Lopez, Chris Harrison, Mark Conseulos, Chris Cuomo, Anderson Cooper, Billy Bush, Neil Patrick Harris, Mike Rowe and others have all been suggested. Howard said that Oprah's new sister would be good. Howard said that Dick Clark might be good too. He did his impression of Dick for a few seconds.
Howard said the inside scoop is that Regis was forced out and he ended up firing his agent and he's pissed. Regis still wants to work.
Robin read a story about Flavor Flav starting a fried chicken store in Iowa City, Iowa. Robin said that it's going to be the first home of Flav's Fried Chicken. Howard said it might be the start of something big like Jimmy Dean sausage.
Robin said that the President is doing his State of the Union address tonight. She said that he's going to be talking about the slow economy among other things. Robin had some audio of someone talking about how he has to lay things out for the country so we can get things straightened out. Robin had some audio of President Obama too.
Robin read a story about a woman who stole a baby in 1987 confessing her guilt. Robin said that she's being held without bail. Robin had some audio of her lawyer talking about how upset she is about what she did.
Robin read some news about a stalker case and Howard said that stalkers are creepy. He said most of them are guys staling women. Robin said there are some women who stalk and there are a lot of guys who stalk guys too.
Robin read some news about a guy who was thinking about running for president last week who was tying rights of the unborn to civil rights. Robin said that the guy can't understand why Obama is not pro-life. Howard said that shows the guy is just dumb. Howard said people should wake up and smell reality. He said there are so many unwanted babies in this world already and you can't just have life, you have to have ''a life.'' He said he didn't want to get into that whole argument though.
Robin read about Montel Williams coming out in support of legalizing marijuana in Maryland. Robin had some audio of Montel talking about this new law and how he's all for it. He got choked up at the end of his speech when he said he'd like to live his life like everyone else.
Robin read some football news. She had some audio of someone from the Packers talking about the upcoming game.
Robin said that Jesse Ventura is suing the TSA over airport pat downs. Howard sounded shocked by that. Robin had some audio of someone talking about why they're suing.
Robin had some audio of Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman talking about their new movie. Howard said he thinks Natalie is really cute.
Robin had some audio of Bruce Willis talking about his new movie ''Red.'' Howard said he can't remember if he saw that movie. He thinks he did. He thinks he liked it actually. They wrapped up and ended the show after that. It was about 10:10am.
Jon asked Pete if he gets depressed that he's not up there anymore or is he just happy to be there. Pete said it's a little of both. He said he misses it but he's glad he's there today. He said it was a great experience. Jon asked if he got any crap from the guys there. Pete said he got a warm welcome today.
Jon asked Pete if they have anything for him there. Pete said Gary is going to look into it for him. Jon asked how he deals with his fame when he's out. Pete said he deals with it just fine.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Pete why he picks Jon to follow around out of everyone there. Pete said that Jon is a pretty cool guy so he likes to mess with him a little bit. The caller asked if he'd like to hang with him outside of the show. Pete said he'd like to have lunch with him or something.
Jon told the caller that one of the speakers for the show is right next to his desk so Pete would listen to that while he stared at him. He said he thinks that may have had something to do with it.
Jon asked Pete about losing his virginity and why he said it was with his girlfriend when it was really with a hooker. Pete said that he wanted to lose it in a different way. Gary said there's a definitive answer so he's wondering why he didn't just say that. Pete said he didn't want to come across as being with hookers. Gary said they had talked about it on the radio before. Pete just said ''Yeah, yeah... yeah.''
Gary said they should put Benjy and Pete in a room and see who can get to their point quicker. Jon said that would be a close competition.
Jon asked Gary if he was glad to see Pete around. Gary said he is but it's like a relative he hasn't seen in a while. He said a day is awesome but a month might not be. Benjy said he likes having Pete there. He said it just feels right to have him there. Pete said it does.
Gary said Jon has a piece of tape by his desk and Pete has to stay behind that. He said that the tape had to be moved and he was wondering if Jon moved it. Jon said that he didn't move it. He said they had to move it to make room back there. They call it ''The Hein Line.''
Jon said that Pete doesn't bother him until Will tells him to go over and bother him. Pete said Will is quite the instigator. He said he messes with Will too. Gary said he had a conversation with Pete and he seems to ask questions that aren't that good and he just does it to keep the conversation going. He asked about his book tour and ended up asking how long the flight was out to L.A. Benjy said that might be part of his compulsion and he might have to ask that question.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he hates Medicated Pete and he's so annoying. He said that they spend so much time trying to appease him.
Jon took another call from a woman who asked if they're going to spend the whole hour with Pete. She said that she's going to give them a few more minutes before changing the channel. She said it gets a little boring. She said that she will tune in and hear the replay or another channel there. Jon said that they'll get Richard in there instead. She said that would be fine.
Jon asked Pete about his Eagle Scout thing and if he put it on his resume for a reason. Pete said that he just put it down because it was a pretty major thing. Gary said he was shocked that he didn't have the whole Howard thing on his resume. Pete said that he hasn't updated it yet. That's going on the top as soon as he does.
Jon asked Pete if he's going to go back to work at the health club. Pete said he thinks he will. He said that hey told him to take all the time he needs to. He said he hopes to go back in a week or two. He said he'd rather be up there with them though. Pete said that's what he would rather be doing. Gary said he doesn't have anything right now for Pete.
Gary said that he had a list of Eagle Scouts and there were a lot of big names on there. Benjy pointed out that none of their names started with ''Medicated'' though.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they could get Pete and Little Lupe in the studio at the same time. He thinks it might make great radio. Gary said they'd need some kind of agenda for them. They had to go to break after that.
Richard was in and said that he met some girls who like Pete. He said he does have some fans out there. Jon moved on to ask Richard why he wants to be Chloroformed. Richard said he'd like to see it on TV. He said he can imagine Howard tugging on his pants and getting his shirt off. Gary said that he must know that Howard is never going to do that to him himself. Richard said that he thinks it would be funny and it's not a sexual thing. He said it won't be a gay thing either because he'll be passed out.
Jon asked Sal about where he found that trampling clip he gave Howard today. He said he got that one from TubeGalore.com. Richard said that was a really weird clip. Sal said they have some tampon stuff in there too and it's disgusting. Gary wondered why that's disgusting and peeing on a chick isn't. Sal had an explanation for that. He said that it's the blood that makes it disgusting. Sal said that's where he draws the line. He told a story about looking in the garbage once and seeing a tampon and it looked really gross. He said that he's been repulsed ever since.
Sal told a story about seeing a pregnant lady getting banged and that was fine but he saw her smoking during sex. He said he was going to write her a letter and complain.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Richard why he thinks that Howard would want to touch him. Richard said he did smell his balls once. The caller said that's true but they could do all kinds of weird stuff to him while he's knocked out with Chloroform. Richard said he's fine with whatever they do. Gary suggested that they super glue Gay Ramone's ass to his face like the Human Centipede.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked them to take the mic away from Pete so they won't have to hear his sniffling. Gary said he's not even that close to it but that's Pete's ticks. Sal told him to close his mouth and pinch his nose.
Jon asked Sal and Richard if they were messing with Pete out in the halls. Sal said they were throwing some dildos at him. He said they do love having him around though. He said they've made some great phony phone calls with him too. Gary said maybe that's where he should be hanging out. Sal said ''no way.''
Gary asked Pete if anyone didn't give him a warm welcome there today. Pete said he got a warm welcome from everyone actually.
Sal asked Pete if Ronnie busted his balls. Pete said he did. Sal said he was telling Pete that his fingers were gross and to stay away from him. They had to take another break after that.
Jon brought up George Carlin's brother calling into the show today. Gary said he got a note about him the other day. He said he thinks that Howard handled him great today. Jon said that they were also talking about the siblings of other famous people. Gary said they were thinking about having a competition between them all.
Benjy said he hates that Howard asks people why they're trying something at their age. He said that the guy is just having fun with it. Gary said it appears odd that he's trying it after his brother died. Benjy said that it's interesting to him and some people would tell him to just give it up. He said it's a passion their pursuing. Benjy said that if you can do it and you have fun doing it then do it. Sal said he agrees with Benjy and he was fascinated with that whole thing.
Jon asked Gary about Howard getting the Droid and if he feels that he's going to get the blame if he doesn't like it. Gary said he had some problems with his phone today and Howard was asking him what's wrong with it. He really didn't know and he was hoping that it wouldn't happen to Howard. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how they're working too hard. He said that he heard Dr. Laura's show yesterday and she's not working very hard at all. He heard some of her show when the fans were calling her and goofing on her. He said that he's not allowed to play the audio though. Scott the Engineer told Howard that they cursed on the air and she didn't hit the delay. She apparently told her engineer not to hit the delay and just let them go.
Howard said that Ronnie listened to her show for over an hour. He said that the fans were calling in like crazy and busting her balls. She was letting it go. Howard said that they were asked not to play the audio and they respect that because other shows have to call and ask to play their stuff. Howard said that it's frustrating. Robin said that they can't have any fun around there.
Howard said that Dr. Laura would want them to play it. Howard said that no one will listen to her anymore if he stops talking about her. He said they know the call attempts on her show and they know that no one is listening.
Howard said that he missed 40 minutes of the show and when he came out he heard the fans were still going at it. Robin said she learned they were still going at it through Twitter. Howard said he has to get on there and start doing that. Robin said that she has some people telling her that she sucks and telling her to die. Howard said that's not so bad. They tell her that her cats should die too.
Howard said he was thinking about Gary and how he was able to get the phone and take his time learning it. Howard said he can't do that. He said he told his shrink that he had to leave so he could learn to work the phone. He said he gets crazed over stuff like this. He said he's all nervous he won't be able to learn it. Howard told Robin that the phone is complicated. Howard said that his mom won't get new things like this because she's afraid she won't be able to figure it out. Meanwhile any idiot can use these phones. He said he's no longer interested in Chess now and he's all about the phone.
Howard said they have really cool things on the phone and it's wild. He said that there's constantly stuff coming in and going out and it's making noise. He said he was looking for videos of how to do stuff on the phone and he's such a nut with it.
Robin asked if these are the things that he's keeping busy with so he doesn't have to deal with other stuff. Howard said that came up in therapy and that is what he's doing. Howard said Robin says the same thing that his shrink says. Howard said he used distractions as a child too. He had TV, drugs and other things.
Howard asked Ronnie what he heard. Ronnie told Howard about how one guy called in and told Dr. Laura about his home life and he worked in the thing about there not being pictures on the wall anymore. Then High Pitch Eric called in and called her a cunt. He said that some guys were calling in and using Shuli's name and things like that. They were calling her a stupid ass and things like that. They told her she should clear the air and let Howard interview her but she's not into that. Ronnie said that she talked to everyone. Howard said she has weird rules over there.
Ronnie said she won't talk about anyone else's problems. He said that she won't let other people talk about the previous callers. She tells them to stop. Howard said that's really bizarre. He said that sometimes you're doing her a favor by talking about other callers. He said that can help people. Howard said it might be a better topic.
Howard said that no one is listening to her show and she loved all of this. Ronnie said that 90 percent of the callers were fans of Howard's show. Howard said that they should be happy that they did that. It was promotion for the show. He said they should just let them play it.
Ronnie said that one guy called in and said ''How dare you take Sirius' money.'' He said that the guy wanted Bubba back and Laura gone. Howard said they should let him play the audio so people will stay interested. He said that she'll just go back to having no listeners if he stops talking about her.
Howard said they made the show listenable. Ronnie said that High Pitch kept calling in and he started with bitch and cunt and then he told her that she's an asshole. That's about all he has. Howard said that is all he has. He said that she should hang up on him.
Howard said he's going to call her show with different voices and give her different problems. He said he won't curse her out though.
Gary said they do have a written transcript. He said they can't play the audio but they can read the transcripts. Howard read through some of that stuff in his High Pitch Eric voice. Another caller asked if $15,000 was too much to spend on a cat's kidney transplant. Howard read some other comments from the fans who were telling her that they didn't want her and they wanted Bubba and things like that. Some people just said ''Baba Booey'' over and over. She had no idea what that meant so the caller said it means she's a cunt. one guy said that Jay Leno is the antichrist. Howard said that one caller said that Howard's fans are rabid and they won't stop. Howard said that they got at least 40 phone calls through. He said if that many got through then it means no one is listening.
Howard said that some people are saying that it was a low level for them to go with her show. Howard said he didn't know people were going to curse her out. He read an email he got from one guy who said that he's a fan of Dr. Laura's and of his show. Howard said he doesn't think this is real. He said that Laura lets the callers go on and on and it's so fucking boring. He said she has no ratings and her show must have been tanking.
Howard said he doesn't get the business there and he doesn't think that they could be paying her anything there. He said they didn't even have money for Bubba. He said he can't believe that they'd be paying her anything. Robin said that she's never heard of a deal where they had no pay. Howard said maybe she gets a cut of the commercials. Gary said that Jason was saying that you can buy downloads of her show. Howard said he would buy a download of yesterday's show. Howard asked Gary what they're saying around there about her deal. Gary had no idea. Howard said Tim must know.
Howard took a call from High Pitch Eric who said he used his deep voice to get through on her show. He said that a lot of people were saying ''Baba Booey'' and things like that. Eric was going over the stuff that Howard had just read in the transcripts.
Howard went over some of the stuff that Eric was doing on her show and said that he is kind of like dealing with a retard when you ask him if he has more material.
Howard got back to the letter he got from the fan of Dr. Laura. He said that the guy was disgusted that they did this on there. The writer said that they're on the same team now so they can't be doing stuff like that. Howard said he's not on the same team. He said that he's a winner and Dr. Laura is a loser. Howard said that he's also going out and promoting Sirius and he doesn't see Dr. Laura out promoting anything.
Howard said that this writer says that they are harming the goals of the business. Howard said that she was ashamed of the show for the first time in 30 years. Howard said this person was ashamed and threatened to cancel. Howard said he thinks that this is Dr. Laura writing this. He said that he can't believe that anyone would take the time to write anything like this. Howard said he has done so many worse things.
Howard said all he did was tell Sal and Richard to make prank calls. He didn't tell the listeners to do it. Howard said he has no control over the fans. Howard read another note from a fan who said that it was sad that his ''mutant fans'' were prank calling her show.
Howard said that Dr. Laura's show was excellent yesterday. He said he must be a fan now. He loved it. Howard said he was in the car laughing his ass off at the calls. He said some of the callers weren't pranking her but he was expecting them to.
Howard said the calls were horrible. He said that he's saying that word right now. He said that his daughter noticed that he was saying it differently and she thought it was ''haarrible'' so he told her that it's ''horrible.''
Howard got into his parents impression and had them saying ''haarrible'' while talking about their car not showing up to bring them to Sirius that one time. Howard said that's where he learned that word.
Howard asked if Tim acts like he's dieting when she's out. The caller said that Robin was eating French fries and ketchup. Robin said that she only had 5. She said she had mushrooms and cauliflower with the 5 French fries. Howard said she sounds angry at them. She said she is because they're so good.
Howard asked what Tim had. Robin said he had lobster salad. Howard said he's so phony around her. He said that he's acting differently around her. He said that he really eats like a cow. Howard said the guy goes out and has a lobster salad but he usually eats like a pig. Howard said he won't eat lobster anymore because of the way they kill them. Gary said they cut chicken's heads off. Howard said that's more humane than boiling it alive. Howard said he thinks they do know that they're being killed like that too.
Gary told Howard that he went out and saw Little Mikey waiting for Tim Sabean yesterday. He said that he waited around until after 2 and his meeting was supposed to be at 1. Howard said that's not cool. Howard said Little Mikey is more important to him than half the shitheads that Tim meets with. Howard said that he makes great songs and he'd make a great employee. He said that's disgusting and disgraceful that he made him wait that long. Robin said he made her wait a half hour for lunch too. Robin said that he may have forgotten about all of the appointments he had.
Gary said that Jared is his appointment book. Howard said he didn't used to keep his own schedule and Beth taught him how to keep his own book. He said people who don't keep their own book is like someone being child like. Howard said Tim shouldn't wait for Jared to tell him when he has meetings. Howard said he has to have his schedule in front of him.
Gary said that Jared comes in and tells Tim stuff once in a while. Howard said that he has to grow up and keep his own schedule. Howard asked where Tim is. Gary didn't know. Fred played a clip of Tim saying something about how he gets on a roll. Howard said that Little Mikey is very important and Tim has to take care of him.
Howard asked Robin if she would fuck Tim. Robin said she wouldn't do that to him or Howard or Fred. She said she doesn't think of them in that way.
The caller said that the chef came over to Robin and Tim and when they do that they should be able to ask for any kind of food. Howard asked if this was Rachel Butera on the phone. The caller was named Rachel but that wasn't Butera on the phone.
Rachel told Howard that she remembers her mother listening to Howard when he was on WNBC when she was a little kid. Howard said that's a smart woman. Howard let her go a short time later.
Howard said he would love to be able to play the Dr. Laura calls but they've been locked down. Gary said he just got an email from someone telling them that they didn't have permission to play the clips. That was from someone in her organization. Howard said he can't believe that shit is fully licensed and copyrighted.
Gary told Howard what the letter said and how they have the right to use excerpts from her show on Sirius. The letter was from the President of her company.
Gary asked how it works when they take clips and play them on Entertainment Tonight and things like that. Howard said it's all bullshit. He said that they have Fair Usage with some clips. He said that this letter only works on him. He said he's sent a million letters and people keep using his stuff. He said that's what YouTube tells him when they ask them to take stuff down.
Howard got back to the Tim story and told Robin that Tim's ''niece'' made a box of cupcakes and he was eating those. That's the kind of food he eats.
Howard said he got up early this morning to go pee. Then he figured he'd play with the phone and he got into that and stayed up watching videos about it. He said that he had to watch all of that on video. Howard said that Jason can type on his Android like you wouldn't believe. He uses that Swype method and he can type by swiping his finger across the screen. Robin said that's like the new typing and it's like the fastest way to text. Howard said that it's not that easy. Howard said Jason uses up his battery so fast he has a special holder for it. He said that it's his life.
Howard asked Jason how he learned all of this. Jason said that he just learned it by using it. Jason told Howard there are forums on the web, like AndroidCentral.com, for the Android system. He said that the phone is really addictive. He said it draws him into it. He said he plays games and he's always on the web and things like that.
Tim Sabean showed up so Howard asked why he made Little Mikey wait. Tim had a lump on his head so Howard asked what was up with that. Tim said he bumped it on a mirror. Howard said Tim looks like Rush Limbaugh to him and he had no idea women though he was good looking.
Howard asked Tim if he gets hit on a lot. Tim said no. He told Howard he had Mikey come in... Howard cut him off and told Robin about how he was watching more porn on YouPorn yesterday. He said he checked out a lot of stuff but ended up watching Little Caprice again. He said they get really graphic in videos now and it's too much.
Howard asked Tim about how he keeps his schedule. Tim said he keeps a schedule and he has alerts that go off for times. He said that he was on the phone with Don yesterday and he kept going on and on so that's why he was late for lunch with Robin. He said he got backed up and he had Mikey recording with someone there. He said that Mikey is really good. He said that he had him come in for his meeting after that. Tim said he gets hit on by 20 different people there. He said he has 2 Blackberries and he has Microsoft Outlook to help.
Howard asked why he has 2 phones. Tim said that the battery goes out and he has one as a backup. Tim said that he apologizes to Little Mikey for keeping him waiting.
Howard asked Tim why he fakes the eating thing in front of Robin. Tim said he really doesn't. They talked about the Dr. Laura mess too. Tim said that may have been the greatest radio ever. Howard said their callers know how to make any show good.
Tim told Howard that his office has glass walls so people feel free to just walk in. Howard said that's the worst idea. He said that he wouldn't be able to get any rest there if his office was glass. Howard said JD is the only one who has a glass office and he's always watching graphic porn in there. He said that he has a giant poster of Johnny Weir in his office now. He said that's pretty funny.
Howard said JD's office is a mess. He said he has boxes and boxes of newspapers under his desk. JD told him he didn't even know why he needed it. Howard told him he has to clean it all out. He said JD just mumbled something about how he didn't think so.
Howard said Fred is disgusting too. He said he had a plant growing in his board. Howard said he must eat over his board. He said that a seed germinated in the board. He had a picture of it. Fred said that he had no idea it was that bad. Howard showed Fred the picture of the plant growing in there. Howard said it looked like a bat. Fred said the board looks clean to him. Howard said this was out of his board. Fred said that was wild.
Scott the Engineer came in and said that the seed was in one of the faders and it was growing form the heat of the console. Fred said he doesn't eat anything with seeds in it. He doesn't eat nuts or fruit. Fred said he eats yogurt. Howard said he's not sure about that. Scott said they were cleaning the board and when they pulled out the fader they found this thing growing in there. Howard said he'd like to know what it was. Fred said that if he did something to grow seeds in there he apologizes. He said that he hasn't had trail mix or nuts since their days at 600 Madison Ave. He said that there are people who come in and mess with the equipment when they're not there. He said he saw someone burning DVDs in there one day.
Howard said he had to take a break since they've been going on so long. Howard said he has a lot more to get to today. Robin said she was frustrated that they can't listen to the Dr. Laura stuff. Howard said he's frustrated too.
Howard said he's not sure what Fred is doing over there. He said his chair is a mess. Gary said that they clean out the board once a year and they were amazed that something was in Fred's board. Howard's is always immaculate. Howard said he eats over his paper and nothing gets out apparently. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said JD found the tape of the CNN reporter who said ''shitty.'' He said she was trying to say ''shady'' or something like that and it came out ''shitty.'' Howard played the clip and the reporter was talking about this kidnapping from 1987 and they were talking about how they were looking for this woman who had a ''shitty past...''
Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard Pat Cooper going over his new book and he was ripping on him. Howard said Pat has been ripping on him everywhere and he says really shitty things about him. Howard said the guy keeps calling to get on the show too. The caller said that Pat was saying Howard has changed and he's living the life of leisure and making everyone kiss his ring. Howard said that no one is going to read his book. He said that he's ripping everyone off. He said he's had it with that guy. He said that he's had him on the show but the guy is just a dick wad. Howard said the guy was attacking him and his divorce and his family but meanwhile the guy has 4 kids he doesn't talk to.
Gary said that one of Pat's raps is that they constantly replay his tapes and that's the last interesting thing that happened on the show. Howard said he got tired of him abusing him and then coming in and telling him he loves him. Howard said he doesn't want anything to do with the guy anymore because he creeps him out. Howard said Pat walks around like he's God's gift to comedy.
Howard said that he enjoyed when Pat would be on the show but he didn't enjoy Pat going out and bad mouthing him after every time he'd be on. Howard said Pat keeps asking to get on the show but they're not going to have him on. He said if he comes on he should be angry and say that shit to his face.
Howard said that Pat would be out on the street and bad mouth him. Howard wondered why he would use him like that. He said he felt used by Pat.
Howard asked Tabitha if she's still doing porn. She said she hasn't done any scenes since August but she's producing films. Howard asked how hard it is produce porn when all you have to do is tape someone naked and call it porn. Tabitha said it's not that easy. Howard asked if that's how she's supporting herself. She said that her husband directs and she produces so that is how they're making money.
Benjy told Howard that Tabitha is on YouPorn. He found two clips of her on there. Howard said he'd look that up tonight since he has one more free night.
Benjy asked who Tabitha sells her films to. She said they work with a company called Zero Tolerance. Howard said that this is too confusing. He said he just wants to know how they make a living. Tabitha said it's tough. She said that there are some companies out there putting stuff out for free and it's making it tough for them.
Howard asked about how they get the money to make the movies and got into the details of that. Howard said that Tabitha must be whacked out on Xanax. He asked if she's hooking at all. Tabitha said she's not. Howard said she should be with that body.
Tabitha said she met Medicated Pete at a porn convention. Howard said that her phone connection was really bad. Howard said that they had Pete on the show yesterday and he said that Tabitha wanted to make a movie with him. Tabitha said she's going to call Pete and ask him if he's up for it. Howard said that he's find with that. He said if Pete wants to be in porn then that's fine. Tabitha said they have to cast everything by next week so she has to act on this quickly. Howard said he had no idea that the porn industry was on such a tight schedule.
Tabitha said she wants to come in soon. Howard said that's fine. He told her to come in after shooting the thing with Pete. She said she would do that.
Howard let Tabitha go and then played a prank call they made to her years ago where they had Wood Yee telling her to stop calling the show. Howard said he didn't remember that one.
Lisa said they also spoke to a producer of Rosie O'Donnell's show who thinks that Howard is hot. Howard said he looked her up and she is very accomplished. Howard said that she won 6 daytime Emmys. He said he likes that she's willing to give him unlimited head. Lisa said that when she and Rosie got fired from The View she put a big moustache on Elisabeth Hasselbeck's face. She got in trouble with Barbara for doing that.
Howard said he was thinking about the unlimited head thing and if he would like having a woman's mouth on his cock all the time. Lisa went on to tell Howard about why this woman likes Howard. She talked about his looks, his teeth and his hands among other things. Howard said that this made him feel very good and he liked that she was into him. He said that she could totally get him. He said he'll even stop by Rosie's show to say hello to this Jeanette woman. Lisa said that she does have a boyfriend but he might give her a pass for Howard.
Lisa said that JD has put a video up on YouTube to counter Eric the Midget's videos. Howard said he has never seen more boring videos than Eric and JD's. Howard said that Eric makes the worst videos. He said he loves Eric and thought he could watch him all day long. Howard said there was some war between the two of them and now JD has put out a video. He said that Eric might be more interesting than JD.
Howard played a clip of Eric challenging JD to get on YouTube and put out some videos to see how entertaining they are. Howard said he likes that JD got into it and did that but the video felt like it was 50 hours long. He played some of JD's video and he was explaining how Eric challenged him to make videos. Howard said he had 5 minutes to watch this and he was bored by it. He said he thought it would be fun but JD put as much effort into it as Eric did.
Howard said this went on forever. JD said it was only a minute and a half. Howard said the big joke at the end of the video is JD showing a ''wet paint'' sign on his wall like watching paint dry is more interesting than Eric's videos. Howard goofed on JD about the whole video and JD said he never should have done this. Howard told him to just stand there and take his medicine. Howard said he heard that JD has a whole list of ideas on his phone for this. Howard said he wanted to know what was on the list but JD said he wanted to save them for the videos. Howard said JD is more boring than Eric is. JD said he doesn't know about that.
Howard played more of the JD audio where he turns the camera around showing the ''wet paint'' sign. Then JD tells Eric to go fuck himself.
Howard said Eric responds to that in an even more boring video. In that clip Eric says he's responding to JD. He said that his camera is in a fixed location and he can't move his laptop. Howard said that makes no sense because Eric could adjust himself or tilt the laptop. Howard said that you can actually see JD on his video. Howard said Eric jokes about how Johnny Fratto didn't need Ambien because JD's video was so boring. He said he used that joke over and over in the video.
Howard said that Eric also does a review of ''The Town'' in that same video. Eric was talking about how much he liked the movie and it was really boring to Howard.
Howard said JD responded to that video too. Howard asked why it's so boring. JD said he had to whisper because the walls are so thin at his apartment.
Howard asked JD if he's seeing anyone. JD said he's not really. Howard asked if he hates where he lives. JD said that there are times that he does. He said his neighbors play loud music at times. He said they do that during the day. Howard said that people are such animals. He said that he hates people.
Howard found out that JD doesn't like walking his roommate's dog. JD said that he would rather not have the dog pee on his shit. He said that he has had that happen so he has to take the dog out. Howard asked if he hates having a roommate at this point in his life. JD said that it depends on who it is. Howard asked what the arrangement is there. It's a 50/50 split. Howard asked if he has problems with the guy. JD said there have been problems but that's all he wants to say. He said he has covered for the guy. Howard said JD isn't Rockefeller so he can't do that. JD said the guy is back to working and he hopes to be reimbursed for what he's put out. Howard asked if he wants him to talk to the guy. JD asked him not to do that.
Howard got back to the JD response to Eric's response to his video. JD was saying he had a challenge to Eric and he wants him to prove that he's an actor before he will call him ''Eric the Actor.'' Howard said this was so boring. He goofed on JD's delivery and said that it's endless bits of information on that YouTube. Howard said JD should be taping himself walking the dog and stuff like that. He said he should do a reality show with JD. JD said that's not going to happen. He said he's not interesting. Howard said he is and he doesn't even realize it.
JD said he challenged Eric to do a monologue from a movie and he's waiting for his response. Howard told JD to clean up his office too. He said it's a pig stye. JD said he knows. Howard told him to go back there and take a big garbage bag and throw it all out. JD said he wants to go through it. He said he has to look at it. Howard TV had a shot of his desk to show all of the shit in there. Howard said JD hasn't touched that stuff in years. If he doesn't know what's there then he should throw it out. JD said he'll take care of it.
Howard came back and sang along with the song. He was trying to harmonize with Graham but Robin didn't seem to think it was working very well. Howard said he loves Crosby Stills and Nash. No one does anything like that anymore.
Howard said Jerry Springer was there. He said he's been fascinated with the guy for years. Jerry came in a short time later. Howard said his show has been on a long time. He must have been on as long as Oprah. Jerry said it hasn't been quite that long.
Howard asked Jerry about what happened to his show and why he left America's Got Talent. Jerry said that he did go off to do some other stuff that one summer he took off. He said that they decided to go younger. He said that he's 67 now and they wanted someone younger. He said that he did the 25 city tour with them so he's still with the show. He said he just doesn't host it anymore. Jerry said that the show is a stupid show.
Howard said that Jerry has said that if his mother was alive he would never host that show. Jerry said that his parents were very proper and he would have been embarrassed to do that show. He said he never cursed in front of his parents and that's the way things were. He said his father sold stuffed animals when he was growing up. He said he grew up in Queens. He said he went to PS 99. Howard said his background sounds so depressing and sad. His family was just about wiped out in the Holocaust. Howard said he must have heard stories about how awful the world must be when he was growing up. Jerry said that you can respond to that in two ways. He said his parents never spoke about it. He said all of their relatives were dead and they saw the pictures on the wall.
Jerry said he didn't know where they died until a couple of years ago when this TV show did some research and found out where they were killed. He said this was on the BBC and they were able to find the records. He said that they found out what train car they were on and the experiments they did on his family. He said his dad's mom had experiments done on her. Howard asked what they did to her. Jerry said they did things on her brain. Howard said he wasn't exposed to that much as a kid. Jerry said his parents didn't even want to go see the Sound of Music. He said they could never buy a Volkswagen or anything like that.
Howard said that Jerry travels a lot now. Jerry said that his parents didn't like doing it but they encouraged him to do it. He said his parents were like 35-37 years old when the Holocaust thing happened. He said they were among the last 100 people to get out of Germany before the war. He said that his sister was born a month later. Jerry said his parents got out and his sister was born in London and so was he. Jerry said that they never knew what happened to the family but now he knows what happened. Jerry said that they took him around and told him about all of this stuff for the BBC show.
Jerry told Howard about how he became an American citizen eventually but he was born in England. Robin said he could never run for President. Howard said that Jerry was a mayor and it seemed like he was going to get into a career in politics. Jerry said he was fascinated with politics. Howard asked how he got elected Mayor of Cincinnati. Jerry said that was a fluke. He said he was a hippie and an activist. He said he wasn't thinking about a career at the time. Jerry said he did go to law school and he did well. He went to Northwestern University. Howard said he did very well then.
Howard said that George Clooney was a supporter of Jerry's. Jerry said he was a news anchor on a TV station in Cincinnati. George's father was on a competing station. He said they had editorials that he would do there for 10 years. Howard said he had no idea that he did that. Howard said he read that he's worth like 500 million. Jerry said that's really not true. Howard asked if he owns the show. Jerry said that he doesn't. He said he does very well but he's not a billionaire. Howard said that wants to know what he's wroth. Jerry said he's not going to say. He said it's not $500 million. Jerry said that everyone calls him asking for money but he really doesn't have it.
Howard asked Jerry if he gets a lot of shit from people on the street. Jerry said he never does. He said that he would never watch the show now. He said that he would have watched it when he was in college. Howard said the show is still very successful. Jerry said he has a niche. Howard said that at the height of his show he had 30 million daily viewers. Jerry said they're still on around the world but the ratings aren't quite where they were but they're still doing well.
Howard asked Jerry what he would be doing if he wasn't doing that. Jerry said he'd like to be doing a late night show or a political show. Howard said he should do it. Jerry said no one is asking him to do that. Howard asked if he's a liberal. Jerry said that he is. Howard asked if he's against the war in Iraq. Jerry said he is. Howard asked about Afghanistan. Jerry said he's a little less so against that one. Howard said he's the same way. Jerry said that what they did in Iraq was so wrong. He said that you don't start a war with a country that they think has Weapons of Mass Destruction but you don't know where they are. He said that makes it even worse what we did there.
Howard asked Jerry about what he thought of Elliot Spitzer when he got in trouble for going to a hooker. Jerry said that it was the opposite of what he was going after and that's why people got so uncomfortable with what was going on. Howard asked Jerry about what happened with him and the hooker. Jerry said he had to retire but it had zero effect on his career. He said that he's not one to judge someone else. Jerry said that the hooker never cashed either so he never actually paid for sex.
Howard asked if Jerry is for the legalization of pot. Jerry said he's not. He told Howard that he was very big on civil rights and other things so he didn't want to get involved in that issue. He said he doesn't want that fight. Jerry said that he never inhaled just like bill Clinton. He said he tried to inhale once and it didn't work for him. He said he burned the back of his throat.
Howard asked Jerry if he's happy with the way things have gone. Jerry said of course he is. Howard said that being an anchor today would be tough. Jerry said that's not a great job to have. Jerry said he doesn't think he's talented but he knows what he's good at. Howard said that being an anchor is a talent. Jerry said that's a skill, not a talent. Jerry said that you don't have to be talented to be in TV. He said you have to be talented to be in a play on stage on Broadway.
Howard said that Jerry has a new game show called Baggage on the Game Show Network. Jerry said it's a funny show. It airs at 6:30 and 9:30pm on GSN. Jerry told Howard about what they do on the show and they'll have 3 women come out and tell their life story and then the guy gets to open their baggage which has stories about each woman and they find out the stuff they may not like. Then when the guy picks the woman he has to open his baggage revealing his issues. Jerry said they had one show where a woman revealed that she was born a man. Jerry said that she didn't look like a man at all.
Howard asked if he would ever try homosexuality. Jerry said he's happy where he is now. He said he's been married for 37 years. He said he's very happily married. Howard thought he had been separated for a while but Jerry said that's not true. He said he has a normal existence. Jerry said he never had a date in high school and when he got to college he had some fun. He said he was a very late bloomer as far as growing. He said he was only 5'1'' when he graduated high school. He was still growing in his 20s.
Jerry told Howard that he was in college at 17 so Howard wondered if he was a braniac or something. Jerry said he did well in school. He said that doesn't mean that he's talented. He said that Howard has talent and he could never do what Howard does. Howard asked if he liked Piers Morgan. Jerry said he did. He said that he thought the interview Howard did with him was great. He said part of his persona is to boast about being the greatest and he liked the way Howard knocked him down a notch by telling him to just see who he has to get for guests.
Jerry said he told Piers that you can't invite kids on the show to abuse them. He said that if they're not good enough to be on the show then don't have them on. Jerry said he had to tell them to stop it during a live show once.
Howard asked Jerry about playing Captain Hook in a play. Howard asked if he gets bad reviews. Jerry said that he does okay. He said he has such respect for people who do this. He said he wants to experience everything so that's why he's doing this. He said they saw him on Dancing with the Stars and that's how he got this job.
Howard asked Jerry about his daughter being born blind and deaf and how she can see now. Jerry said she wasn't really blind. He said that she was ''legally blind'' but he's a mother now and she's doing fine. Howard said that must have been tough. Jerry said that he couldn't imagine having another child even when they found that out. Jerry said she was also born with no holes in the back of her nose. He said that one in six million people have this problem with their eyes. He said that she's 35 now and she's happily married.
Howard said that Jerry went on Dancing with the Stars to learn to dance for his daughter's wedding. Howard said that was where all of the emotion came from on the show. Howard said he knew he had some emotion but he had no idea why. Jerry said it was no one's concern if you think about it. Jerry said if it's your daughter then you're going to be emotional anyway.
Jerry told Howard that he got on Dancing with the Stars and it was the first time people had seen him as himself. He said that there's always a role to play on TV and he was being himself on this show. Jerry said that people are very nice to him but they don't really know him. They say they love him but they really don't know him. He said people can say bad stuff about him and it doesn't bother him because he knows they don't know him.
Howard asked Jerry if his show moved to Connecticut for tax reasons. He said they did. He said NBC moved a bunch of shows up there for that reason. Howard asked about how many shows he shoots. Jerry said they do 3 shows on Monday and 2 on Tuesday. Howard asked how he does the shows and if the producers do all of the work. Jerry said he comes out and makes the jokes on the show. He said that he is comfortable in front of the camera and that's his talent. He said it's really not difficult. Robin said no everyone can do what he does. She said he does have a talent.
Howard asked Jerry if he used to walk around with a superman outfit under his clothes. Jerry said he would do that. He said it wasn't every day but he did it during school. Howard said he must have gotten beaten up a lot. Jerry said that he had his share.
Jerry told Howard about a guy who went to school with him. He saw him at a reunion one year and he realized that he was finally taller than this guy who was much taller than him in school. Jerry said he loved it that he was taller than him and he stood next to him the whole night.
Howard took a call from a guy who said his friend died of Leukemia just 4 months after meeting Jerry and getting an autograph from him. Howard said that Jerry was nice to this kid. Howard jokingly said he saw Jerry kick a kid in the face once. Howard said that was very nice of Jerry to do that.
Another caller asked Jerry about being a political aid for Bobby Kennedy. Jerry said that was true. Howard said he was a big fan of Bobby's. Jerry said he was too. Howard said that assassination was so mind blowing to him. He said he had such a dark vision of the world after that. Jerry said that he still thinks that all of the heroes in our lives are there in your teens and 20s and that's what Bobby was to him. He said he felt that he was in it for all the right reasons. Jerry said that Bobby was really into the job. Howard said the guy was inspiring. Jerry said he thinks that he could have become President. Jerry thinks he would have beaten Nixon.
Howard said that they'd have a whole different universe if he hadn't been killed. Jerry said that he only met Bobby twice. He said heat most of the kids were for McCarthy and he was trying to get people to switch over. Jerry said that was his first paid job after law school.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he'd much rather see Jerry than that cunt Dr. Laura. He said that cunt needs to get off the air. Howard asked Jerry if he could do a show like that. Jerry said he's not qualified to give advice. Jerry said he thinks that his perspective would be different than Dr. Laura's. Howard said he was kind of upset about the use of the C-word today.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard should give him a job on one of his channels. Jerry said he did a radio show for 2 years on Air America. He said that they carried the show for 2 years and he loved it.
Howard asked why liberal radio shows don't last. Jerry said that he thinks it's because the liberals won. He explained that to Howard and why he thinks that the shows don't last.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked Jerry when he started sounding so effeminate. Jerry said he's never sounded macho. Howard said that he might see him in a bar and try to pick him up.
Howard asked Jerry if he watches porn at all. Jerry said he's afraid. Howard said he likes this YouPorn thing. Jerry said that he's afraid of big government and what they can find out about you. He said that he thinks that someone is listening at all times. He said that might be a product of history. Howard said he's been watching baby sitter porn.
Howard asked Jerry how often he has sex. Jerry said he does fine. Howard asked if he takes Viagra. Jerry said that's personal. Howard said that it must get him rock hard like a 12 year old. Jerry said he can imagine being friendly with Howard and he's guessing that there are people he doesn't know who are listening to the show that don't need to know this information.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said that he loves Jerry's show. Robin said that didn't surprise her. Jeff said he's never missed an episode and he watches it every day.
Howard took another call from a guy who said in the 90s Jerry had this guy August Christ on his show. The caller said he married one of the guy's daughter's. Howard said that's some accomplishment. The guy alleged that the guy molested his daughters so Howard had to cut him off there and say they don't know what really happened there.
Howard gave Jerry some plugs for his TV shows and wrapped up with him. Howard said that he came clean on the Viagra thing. Jerry said he can't wait to get home to hear it from his wife about that. Robin asked if he would like to take Regis' job. Jerry said that he's sure they won't replace an old guy with him. He said they're going to go with someone young. Jerry said it's sad because he's one of the oldest broadcasters out there and he's really good. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that he and Benjy just had a moment talking. He told Gary to keep Benjy away from him. He said they were actually talking about phones.
Howard said that he heard that Robert Downey has complete say over who directs the next Iron Man. Howard said that guy has come a long way.
Howard said Richard Simmons was on Ellen Degeneres' show a couple of weeks ago and he was crying on the show. Howard said he didn't understand why he was crying but he heard that he was doing it because he had lost weight after gaining some. Howard said Richard won't come back on the show but he's got to. Howard said he has 5 years left to come back.
Howard played the clip of Richard breaking down and crying. He was telling Ellen about how he loves food and what a temptation it is and how people can make fun of you if you get big. He said he works so hard and he got down to 134 pounds. Howard asked what's wrong with him. He said that crying can't be for real. Robin said that John Boehner guy is just like that. Howard said he saw Boehner there with Joe Biden the other night and Biden was sitting there all happy. He said it's almost a smirk. Howard said he thinks that Boehner may have started crying when everyone got up to applaud him. Gary said his family saw that 60 Minutes thing and they all wait for him to cry now. He said even his youngest son asked if he was crying during that. He said he thinks he was starting to cry. Howard said they should have a drinking game where you drink every time he cries.
Howard said that Richard may have been putting that on. JD said he saw Richard on another show starting to tear up. He said he thinks it might be an act.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show. They spent a little more time talking about Jerry Springer during that.
Steve Brandano came in with his Intern Show preview after that. He was all dressed up for his radio show tonight. Howard said that's great for radio. Howard said he likes to pretend that he's on Mad Men.
Fred played Robin into her news with a Bleeding Deacons song parody. Robin started off with a story about Roger Ebert and saying that he's returning to TV. Howard said that Roger isn't on the new show. It's got his name attached to it but he's not on it. Robin said that Roger has a new chin prosthetic so she figured he was coming back. Howard said the guy can't talk so he can't be on TV. Howard said he didn't see Roger at all but Benjy said that they do have a shot of him in a segment of the show. Howard said he did see pictures of the new chin and he thinks the guy is really brave. He said he loves Roger and he loved Gene Siskel too.
Howard said he heard that Bristol Palin is joining a radio morning show in Arizona. He said this proves what his father said was right. He said his father told him that anyone could replace him on radio and he's right. Howard said if you're thinking about getting into radio you have to remember that Bristol Palin can walk right in and get a job. Howard went off on her for a short time.
Robin read more about Roger Ebert and this new chin he has. Howard said it's sad what he had to go through. Robin said she read about a woman who had her voice box replaced and she was able to speak after not speaking for 11 years.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if anyone there has gone to see a psychic. Howard said he only went to see one at a rap party they had for his movie. He said that she called him over and said she would do a reading for him. He said she told him his future and he wasn't even paying attention to what she said. He said he doesn't believe in any of these psychics. Howard said Beth wanted to go see one and this woman took $200-250 from him at this resort in Arizona. Howard said that this psychic told Beth horrible things. He said that she told Beth that he'd never marry her and he was using her. He said Beth came back crying. Howard said he was charging around this place looking for the woman to go off on her. Howard said he was out of his mind over that. Howard said he told Beth he just wanted to get his own reading done. Beth knew he wanted to tell her off. He said he ran into her at dinner and he told her she didn't do the right thing by her. He said she back peddled and said she didn't mean what she said. Howard said no one has psychic powers. He wishes they did. Howard said Houdini went to all of these people and they were all fakes.
The caller said that he knows that most of them out there are fakes. Howard said that they're all fakes. Howard told the guy to check out this phony Braco who goes out and gazes at people. Howard said they got people to make testimonials about the guy and they claim that he heals people.
The caller said he knows most of them are fake but he knows two and one of them wants to be on the show. Howard didn't seem to care. He said he knew a guy who went for a reading and this woman told him that he knew something that no one else knew and she told him it was true. Howard said he was impressed with that. Howard said he hasn't figured that out yet.
The caller said there are animal psychics out there too. Howard said that's the best scam. He told Gary to book that. Howard said that Beth took their dog to a pet psychic and she told her that the dog won't go upstairs because she believes there's a boogy man up there.
Robin got back to her news and had some details about Oprah's friend Gayle King talking about his half sister that Oprah just found out about. Howard said Gayle has to act like she loves it and be behind Oprah no matter what. Howard said she has an incredible lifestyle thanks to Oprah. Howard said she has to say all of this stuff. They spent a couple of minutes talking about how this can go all wrong with Oprah and the half sister. Howard said he can just imagine what the sister is going to be like and did an impression of her. Robin said that one expert was saying that Oprah may want to share some of her success with this woman that she hasn't known about for all these years. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin got back to her news and read some news about the Academy Awards nominations. She said she was looking at the Best Picture nominees and they have 10 now. She said that Toy Story 3 is on there and she found that odd. She said it's a cartoon. She wondered when a cartoon ever won an Academy Award. That led to Howard doing impressions of his parents talking about how they haven't seen any of those movies.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he called Howard about the bedbugs before the holidays and now they have them on their school busses. Howard said they have these things called stink bugs now too. He said if you step on them they smell. He said we have an epidemic because the hippies won't let them use DDT. He said that DDT must be brought back. The caller asked if anyone ever found the golden CD in his Private Parts soundtrack. Howard said that he has to stay on topic. Howard said that he doesn't know if anyone did or not. Howard said they found a bug back in JD's office. He said he knew that mess back there was a bad idea.
Robin got back to her news and read about James Franco's portrayal of the guy who had to cut off his own arm in the movie ''127 Hours.'' Howard said he thought they had James Franco on the show. Gary said they had the real guy but not James Franco. Robin said that Franco is hosting the Academy Awards. Howard said Steve Martin did a good job and they should have him back.
Robin read about the State of the Union address that was on last night. Howard said he watched some of it but then he tuned over to Sherlock Holmes on HBO. Fred said he did the same thing. Howard said he just got bored with the speech. Robin had some audio of the speech where Obama talked about Gabby Giffords and some other stuff. They went to break a short time later.
After the break, around 9:55am, Robin got back to her news and read some updates about Gabby Giffords. Robin said that her husband is going to decide about going up into space over the next few weeks. Howard said these guys wait for years to go to space but it would look bad if he went.
Robin read about the Huffington Post holding a pole for the hottest congresswoman. She had the details about who won. Howard said he wants to see a picture of her in a bikini.
Robin read about how pets can pass along disease if they sleep in your bed. Robin said that it can lead to things like the plague. Robin said that it can be particularly nasty for kids and adults. Howard said he doesn't want to hear that.
Robin read about Dr. Conrad Murray and how he's hoping to be able to tell his story in his trial. Robin had some audio of some guy talking about the upcoming trial.
Robin read about how a lot of people go to work even when they have the flu. Robin said that they're worried about job security. Robin said that it can spread the illness to others and it can hamper your recovery.
Robin read about Chopin and his music. Howard asked Fred if he's into that kind of music and has it on all the time. Fred said he can appreciate it but he doesn't have it on all the time. Howard said he finds that funny. Robin said they have a theory about why he died at such a young age. They say he suffered from hallucinations and he may have had temporal lobe epilepsy. Robin said this was just revealed in a recent study.
Robin read a story about Joel Osteen's comments about Elton John and why he thinks that he's a sinner. Robin said he was on Piers Morgan's show talking about that. Robin had some quotes from him. Howard said it's funny who Piers has on in his second week of broadcasting.
Robin read about a new Anthony Hopkins movie that's coming out. Howard said Anthony looks really bad these days. Howard said he saw JD watching a movie in his office and he said that he looked like someone that he forgets now. JD forgot what he said. Howard said he should be remembering that stuff. Howard said he was up at 2:30 this morning and they should help him out. Robin had some audio of Anthony Hopkins talking about this new movie and some other stuff. Howard goofed on him about some of the stuff he was talking about. He said he's got to be fucking kidding him. He said JD should challenge him to a YouTube video thing to see who's more boring.
Robin had some audio of Ryan Seacrest talking about the new season of American Idol. Howard goofed on him for a minute too. Howard wondered if he listens to himself talking. He had no idea what Ryan was talking about.
Robin brought up the fiancee of Prince William and how cute she thinks she is. Howard said that Robin got a lot of email about her saying that Cameron Diaz isn't good looking. Some people thought she was right but others thought she was out of her mind. Howard read through a bunch of those emails and a bunch of people said she's not all that hot now. One guy said she has the face of a man now and they should chop off her head. They wrapped up and ended the show around 10:10am.
The guys talked about Medicated Pete and Tabitha Stevens. Benjy said he thinks that Pete could get a job in the industry if he does that movie with Tabitha. Gary said Kenneth Keith Kallenbach went through that and it seemed like he regretted it. John the Stutterer also went through it.
Jon said he wanted to talk about Jerry Springer. He asked if they think he's well liked. Gary said he likes him more now than he did 15 years ago. He said today the interview was kind of non-sensationalistic and he likes him even more after that. Gary said they learned that he's a smart guy. He said you forget he was the mayor of Cincinnati.
Steve Langford came in and said that he covered City Hall in Cincinnati in the 1980s and he remembers Jerry being highly regarded as a politician. He said he was a star there because of that. Steve said that Jerry got the vote even after the problem he had with the hooker. Steve said that people were watching Jerry on TV as the news man too. He said that he had higher ratings than Nick Clooney who was also very good. He said he was a character.
Steve said that Jerry wasn't as polished as Nick Clooney was but then he did his TV show and look at what happened with that.
Jon asked Steve about the confusion Howard had about Lisa and Steve coming in. Gary said they're alternating days and some days Howard doesn't get to them. Benjy asked if they have a set thing where they come in on certain days. Steve said they do right now but Gary added that they don't get to them at all some days.
The guys asked Steve if he thinks that Lisa is a bit of a lingerer when she's in the studio. Steve wasn't saying. He said that he gets out when he feels that his time is up. JD said that Lisa will come down to talk to him when she's done in there. That's what she did today anyway.
Gary said that Sal was giving Lisa a hard time about the story she did about Sal's half-siblings. Lisa seemed shocked when Howard said he didn't give a shit about it. Steve said he thought the story was terrific. He said that you never know when you go in there how Howard is going to react. He said he's very hard to read. Gary said he was kind of surprised he didn't bite on the Sal story today. He said on another day maybe he would.
The guys talked about how Howard can brush them off at times and it hurts. Gary said he had that happen to him just recently where he told Howard that something didn't matter when he was trying to wrap up the show and Howard said ''That's right...'' and just dismissed him. They went to break after that.
Gary said they like to watch Benjy eat every day even though there's nothing wrong with that. That led to them talking about JD's office and how Howard asked him to clean it up today. JD's office is actually a closet that they turned into an office. JD has a bunch of TVs and equipment in there so he has a lot of stuff in there. JD said he knows that he has a lot of stuff in there and it's like being told you're ugly. He knows that it's a mess in there.
Gary asked Ronnie if he keeps his car clean all the time or does he do it just for Howard. Ronnie said he dos the best he can with this weather they have. He said there's constantly salt in there but Howard has never complained about how clean it is.
JD said he's tried to keep his office clean but he has to go through some of the stuff. Jon asked JD if other people are a mess too. JD said that Steve Langford's desk looks like Pearl Harbor. Gary said Benjy used to keep his shit piled up all over the office. Benjy said he's a hoarder. JD said he's ''kinda sorta'' like that too.
Ronnie asked JD what the porno tapes are lined up against the wall. JD said it's not all porn. He said that he gave most of the gay porn to Mike Morales.
Gary asked JD if he likes watching gay porn with Richard. JD laughed and said that they do laugh at that stuff. He said that Richard is the only guy he'll watch it with. JD said he saw a video of a guy peeing in another guy's asshole. He said he thought it was one of the funniest things he's ever seen. Both he and Richard found it really funny. JD said he doesn't think that Richard is gay and he's not gay at all. He said it's very rare that they watch it at all.
JD said that he was getting positive feedback about his YouTube stuff but then Howard hated it. Benjy thought it was really good. He said he loved it. Jon said that Howard and Robin were kind of critical of his delivery. JD said it took him a long time to record that video and he doesn't like making them. He said he didn't have an idea of what he wanted to say but he wanted to do the monologue challenge. He said it took him about a half hour to say what he thought was okay. He said he was just doing take after take.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked about the dog he walks for his roommate. He said he thought he saw him walking a Chihuahua out in Brooklyn. JD said it is a small dog but not a Chihuahua. He said it may have been him. JD said that the dog was left behind in the apartment when they moved in. JD said the dog is blind too and it bumps into stuff once in a while. He said he feels bad for the dog. Ronnie told him to get the dog another dog to help it out.
Jon asked JD if he would prefer to live on his own. JD said ''kinda sorta'' again. Gary said he thinks that JD having some kind of social interaction is a good thing so he should live with someone.
Jon asked about the plant that was growing in Fred's board. They spent a minute talking about that and how they'd like to figure out what it was. Jon said that Fred's chair is a mess too apparently. Benjy collects stuff too but he'll clean it out once a month or so. Benjy said he tries to keep it cleaner than he used to. He said that's what people want and he gets that.
Gary asked Benjy what he collects at his apartment. Benjy said that he might go on a date and hold on to a napkin or something. He said that if he throws it out right away he's fine. If he holds on to it for a long time it gets tougher to throw out. He said he has like 60 boxes of stuff in his apartment. He saves electrical cords and he saves his jokes too. Benjy said that he doesn't remember what the jokes even mean but he saves them. He said he's been scanning all of his stuff and saving it all on a computer instead.
Gary said that Jackie used to save his jokes in a divider. He would write down the date of the jokes and when he wrote them. Gary said that he used to go by the dates of Jackie's jokes to find out when they had a guest on the show. Jim McClure said that Jackie has some of his jokes framed on his wall.
Jon asked Gary if he does that with any show stuff. Gary said he doesn't. He said he has a lot of photographs that he has framed but hasn't hung up. He said he has a ton of those just laying on the floor of his home office.
Benjy said he has his Paul McCartney concert ticket and he's wondering if that's worth anything. Gary said he kept his too but he's not sure what it's worth. Benjy said he's not sure what to do with it and there are a million things like it.
Gary asked if anyone thinks that autograph collecting is stupid. Benjy said he doesn't and he gets why people would do it. Jon said he thinks that holding on to them for financial reasons is stupid. Gary said that he has some autographs and he has a picture of Pete Rose getting into a fight and he got that signed so it means something to him because it's autographed to him personally. He said Tom Seaver sent him an autographed ball that says ''Nice first pitch'' and that means something to him too. They had to go to break after that.
Jon also brought up Little Mikey and how he was left there waiting for Tim. Gary said he felt bad for him because he was waiting so long. Jon and Gary talked about how Howard was telling Tim that he has to do his own scheduling.
Ralph called in and said that Robin orders French fries all the time when they go out. He said that she claims she's a vegan but she eats French fries. He said that the oil they use has all kinds of shit in it and it's probably not vegetable oil. Gary said that it's usually animal fat.
Ralph said that he wanted to relate to Benjy and tell him that he has to just dump everything out in front of him and put it into piles. Benjy said he's constantly doing that. He said he got an Ikea table a year ago and he kept this extra leg for like a year. He said that he finally put it out and he was hoping that it would be gone when he came back. Benjy said he has a tough time getting rid of stuff. Gary said he's a bit of a hoarder but his mom was really bad. He said that she saved every New York Times magazine section for like 16 years and she kept saying she was going to read them. She didn't read them for 16 years though.
Benjy said he grew up in a big house in North Carolina so he didn't have to worry about space as much as he does now.
Gary said you have to convince yourself that you can just go out and buy something to replace a leg on a table or something like that. Gary said he has a closet in his basement and he has TiVos that have stuff on them that he wants to pull off but it's never going to happen.
Ralph said he has DVD recorders he wants to fix so he can get stuff off of them. Benjy said he has some stuff from Pottery Barn that he wants to get rid of. He said that he can't get rid of them because they have value.
Ralph said there's a great episode of that show where they throw stuff out. He said they just had one episode where they burned a whole dumpster of stuff. Gary said that they had some people offer to take away some stuff they had at their garage sale. They didn't want to pay for it so when they threw it in the dumpster, the people just came back and took it out of there.
The guys talked about Howard talking about psychics today too. Gary said he went to a psychic once and brought a picture of him and his brother and one of him and a strange woman in it and the psychic got a vibe off the strange woman but not one off of him and his brother. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about why they started a few minutes late. Fred had some trouble getting into work this morning. Fred said he got stuck. He said he came out early and there were no cabs or town cars, nothing. He said that he called his driver and he was stuck 2 blocks away in a snow bank. Fred said there was just no way for him to get out but he eventually did. He said he helped rock him out of the snow and got there.
Howard said Ronnie had some trouble too and one guy parked in the middle of the road and everyone got crazy.
Robin asked if no one told him about that. Howard said Jon Hein did. Howard said he didn't think that he'd be using it that much but it doesn't matter. Fred said that you have to set it up to check for email less or something. Howard said that would defeat the purpose of the phone. He said that they do a lot more than the Blackberry did and that's why it does that. Fred said he has an extended battery on his iPhone and that lasts a little longer.
Howard said he's pretty sure that if he listens to Sirius on his phone it'll be dead in 30 seconds. He said that he's not sure he can recommend it to Robin. He said he spent at least 10 hours learning it and customizing it. Robin said if he's bailing on the phone he just wasted all of that time learning it. Howard said that's why he's going to stick with it. Howard said he was trying to just figure out how to make a phone call on the thing. He said it's very complicated.
Howard said he was texting by talking instead of typing. He said it even spelled ''Baba Booey'' correctly. He said he didn't have to do any training on it or anything. He said it's pretty good. Fred said he has some voice recognition on his but it doesn't work very well. Howard said he just told the thing what to say and it works. He said it works on his email and his texting.
Howard said Beth wasn't home so he was up late playing with the phone. Gary said that Sussy from the TV show has a Droid 2 and he says that his battery will last a day and a half using it heavily. Howard said he's not sure how that's happening. He said he may not have Lotus Notes on his phone. Howard said they may have to get rid of that Lotus Notes. Scott DePace said that Sussy does not have that on his phone. Sussy came in and told Howard that the screen uses up a lot of energy. He said that he should turn off the screen. Howard said he does that. Sussy said he gets a whole day out of it.
Howard said he used his phone for a half hour this morning and he was down by 25 percent. Howard said the phone is cool even with that problem. He told Sussy to go brag if he wants. Robin asked what the extended battery gets him. Howard said he has no idea but Jon Hein says that it's not that much better on his phone. Howard said he'll work out his issues.
Robin said there was lightning last night. Howard said this is the worst winter ever. Robin said she had a leak in her apartment. She said that it was coming in her window. Howard said she's going to have to replace that herself. He had to do that himself. Howard said he had to replace like 20 windows. He said it's all bullshit. Robin said there was a steady drip coming in. Howard said he has to deal with all of that too. He said it's all a racket.
Howard said that Robin should just wrap her window in plastic. Robin said she should. She said that one of the burners on her Viking stove won't light but Viking won't allow the maintenance people in the building to know how to repair their equipment. You have to call a Viking repair person. She said they'll void your warranty if you don't. Howard said that Robin should tell her building guy to take care of that window and tell him she doesn't want to hear about it.
Howard said one good thing happened with his iPad this morning. He got his NY Post at 4 in the morning on the Post's app. He said he didn't even get to read the paper though. He went through the paper and tried to find something good in there. Nothing much came up. He said he watched American Idol last night and thought Steven Tyler was good. Robin said she doesn't like that he talks so much and that he sings with the people he digs. Howard said he gets that. Howard said he wishes that he'd do a whole concert. He said that he likes how J-Lo will never sing. He said that he's not sure she can sing.
Gary said that when those 19 year old girls walk in then Steven's face lights up. Howard said he's done that with some guys too. Howard said if an attractive girl walks in then he gets excited. Howard said there was one guy on the show who had a sad story. He said that they showed this guy's girlfriend who got into an accident and she's got major brain damage. He said the guy is staying with her even though she got into this accident. Howard said that he won't leave her. Howard said they wheeled her in and Steven was hugging and kissing her and all of that.
Howard read that the Oprah Winfrey network has let Mark Burnett go. He said that Mark was supposed to create a new show like The View for them but now he's just gone. Howard said he read that they renewed the show ''The Talk'' which isn't getting great ratings. He said it's getting less ratings than the soap they replaced. Robin said she saw Julie Chen talking about how she can trust her husband, Les Moonves, on the show one day. Howard said that she really can't. He said that he knows used car salesmen that think Les is slick. He said he knows honesty too and he knows that guy isn't honest. Howard said he has never cheated anyone but Les is another story. He said that guy promised him that his Android battery would last more than 4 hours. He was wrong.
Howard said he's not going to talk about the weather situation there in New York because the rest of the country doesn't care. Howard said that Beth is in Pittsburgh and he needs her back so he can get to sleep tonight. He said he thinks that the airports are all closed. Robin said it did stop snowing so maybe they'll open up today. Robin said she has to get out of there today. She's going out to Los Angeles. She's going out to shoot some more Vegucating Robin episodes.
Robin said she was in the air force and she was going to get her pilots license. She said she would have had to have signed up for 5 more years. She said that she has a problem saluting people so there was no way that was going to happen. She said it was the whole thing where idiots were telling her what to do because they had some garbage on their arms. Robin said that someone who out ranks you, owns you. Howard said he knows that but what did they tell her to do. Robin said that doctors would try to force her to give the wrong medication and things like that. Robin said that you can't talk back to them so you can't even get out that they're wrong. Robin said they had a lot of shitheads who were on power trips. Robin said she kind of did that herself. She said that she bossed around some people too.
Robin said that she was a captain but she doesn't remember all of the rankings. She said she was on her way up but she still had a lot of people above her. Howard asked if she still has her uniform. Robin said she probably burned it. Howard asked if she wore underwear under that. Robin said when she was into being in the military she wore the uniform home from the base and she flew home. She said that she got so much attention in the airport. She said that people were thanking her for her service and she figured she was never going to do that again. She does the same when she sees people out in their uniforms too.
Robin said she thinks it's mandatory to wear underwear under a uniform. Howard said that would be so sexy not to wear it. Howard said it's pretty cool that she would have known how to fly a plane if she had stayed in. Robin said she once had a woman ask her for an emergency appointment to have a physical for high school football. She said that she was General so-in-so's wife and she asked for her name. Robin said that's the kind of bullshit she had to deal with all the time. Howard asked if she fooled around with any higher rank people. Robin said she did fool around with some. Howard asked if she lived on the base. Robin said she lived in an apartment. Howard asked if she had any lesbos come on to her. Robin said she never did.
Robin said she was known as a problem in the military. She said that she has a problem with authority and she had nothing to balance her out back then. Howard said he's glad he doesn't have any authority and he likes being told what to do. He said he liked working in kitchens and he liked people telling him what to do. He said he would just wash the dishes and get paid. He said he'd go out to a bar at night and he was happy doing it.
Howard said that was among his happiest times. Howard said he was doing manual labor and that gets you in shape. He said that it was a conveyor belt that took the dishes in. He said that the steam alone kept him from getting zits. Howard said Pat asked him to lift two 45 pound weights and walk around with them the other day. He said if he was working that job he wouldn't have had a problem. He said he was the best dish washer that place had too. He said they gave him an award for doing what he did.
Howard said Glenn Beck was telling his viewers to go do research on their own. He said that he knows that no one is going to do that. Howard said the guy is really smug.
Howard said that she has two phones but she's never reachable. He said he has trouble getting in touch with her all the time. Howard said that Ralph tells her that he tries to get in touch with her too and he has trouble. Howard said Robin's voice mail is full and her mail is full. Robin said her voice mail is not full.
The caller said that he listened to Dr. Laura's show and it's amazing that it's full of phony phone calls. Howard said that they sent them a letter about not being able to play their shit but he knows they can. Howard said that people play his show all the time. He said that she can take him to court if she wants. Howard said he didn't get to tune in to hear her show yesterday but he'd bet that his fans were calling. Howard said she's a phony and a liar because she was apologizing to her fans for what happened the other day. Howard said she has a delay on her show so she could have blocked out all of those calls.
The caller said the show was pretty funny with the goofy callers she has on her show. They goofed on them for a short time. They talked about some of the wild stories they've read about Dr. Laura but Howard told Fred to double check his facts before they bring those up.
The caller said that he has a browser on his phone that's pretty cool. Howard said that they have Dolphin on their phones and it's great. Howard said the phones are great and he can watch all of this cool stuff. The caller told him that he can get viruses on his phone though. Howard said he's fine with that.
Howard said he doesn't know anything about phones and he doesn't know what he's talking about. He said he gets skeeved out by the dirty screen though.
Howard said he has a couple of clips from Lupe's show. Howard said he had another one where she talks dirty in Spanish. Howard played that clip next. Howard did an impression of Lupe doing that and goofed on her a little bit. JD told Howard the show is 2 hours long. Howard kept going with the impression and told stories that the callers might hear on her show. He made up a bunch of stuff as he was doing the impression.
Howard played more of the show where Lupe and a caller were going back and forth speaking in Spanish. Howard goofed around with that for a few minutes. Howard said the guy was actually moaning while Lupe was faking it. Howard said the guy was having a moment there.
Howard played more of the audio and Fred played a Beatles song, ''Polythene Pam,'' that they have some Spanish in. Fred told Howard what they sing in that part of the song and it didn't make much sense. Howard sang along with some of the song. Howard let that song play through and said that it's a beautiful song. Howard went into his Lupe impression during that too.
Howard asked how much more there was to the drum solo. Fred said that he'd have to find another version of the song. Howard told him to skip it. He did more of his Little Lupe impression and goofed around with that for a minute. Howard said Lupe cums from anything. Howard said she's good.
Howard played another clip from Lupe's show where she takes a call from a creepy whispering guy. Lupe whispers to him and he whispers back to her and tells her that he's naked and fully aroused. Howard said he talks to Beth like that and she gets disgusted with him. Howard said he just tells her that he's doing a play by play for her.
Howard played more of the Lupe audio and said that he didn't know what she was saying in some of the clips. He said that he may never get that one after replaying a clip a couple of times. The guy on the phone was whispering in a really creepy way. Lupe told him to lick her pussy and he was getting into it and whispering to her. Robin said maybe she should do a show like this. Howard and Robin then reenacted that clip they had just heard. Howard was telling Robin to suck his big Jew nose and things like that.
Howard said it's not so easy to do. He told Robin she wasn't very good at it. Robin said it was her first time. Howard played more of Lupe's audio with the creepy whispering guy. Howard said he has to cut that up and put Cousin Brucie's voice in there. Howard said he could take that and have his mom having lesbian sex with Lupe and things like that. Robin said they could call Tradio with those clips too.
Howard played a prank call the guys made to Big Foot using Little Lupe audio clips. They had Lupe having phone sex with Big Foot and he had no idea that it wasn't live. Big Foot said he was going to fuck her like a ''wild aminal it is'' and things like that.
Howard played a prank call the guys made to a Swap Shop show where they used Little Lupe audio clips. They had Lupe telling them that she was selling her pubic hair. The host said he didn't know what she was saying. Richard called in and asked what the number was for the pubic hair and the host said he should get a life. They had Lupe call back and say some more stuff and the host didn't understand a word.
Howard wondered how much those guys could be making doing a Tradio (Swap Shop) show. He said it can't be that much. He played more of that Lupe prank call. He said it must be really depressing to be doing a show like that when you're an older guy like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Howard was talking about that drum solo in the Beatles song and he heard that it was Paul that did it. Fred said that he's pretty sure the guy is wrong. He said that it was Ringo and it was the one time that they let him do a solo. Fred said that Paul did some drumming for some of their songs but not that one. Fred had the drum solo ready to go so he played that. Howard spent a few minutes talking about that song and the Beatles. Howard said that he didn't know that Paul had played on ''Back in the USSR.'' Fred said that's when Ringo quit. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and told Steve Langford to come in with his news preview. Howard said he was dressed casual today. Steve said he walked to work today. He didn't have a suit and tie on today. Steve said that Daniel Carver's son is still in jail and he's had to hand over some of the guns he had. Steve ran through a list of guns that he had to turn in. Howard said he used to watch Oz and he figures that he's going to be in trouble in prison. Robin said he'll probably join the Aryan nation. Howard said as long as you're with a group you should be fine. Howard said he'd have to join a chess player's gang. Steve said that Daniel Carver Jr. is set to be released in Mid-December.
Steve said that a comic book company is bringing out a comic book with Howard in it. Howard wondered why they're promoting it. Howard said they're obviously just using his name for publicity. Howard said it should be positive if its' the same people who did the Ellen Degeneres comic. He said he would prefer that they not release it and for them not to give it any attention. Steve said it's all over the newspapers. Howard said that no one is going to buy it anyway.
Steve said that there's an album they found out Riley Martin sang on in 1990. He had to give up singing to concentrate on the UFO business. Howard wondered if he pressed it himself. Steve said that it's really Riley singing on it but he's not sure if he did it himself. They played some of that song and Howard said he should be on American Idol. He said that he's better than J-Lo. Robin said that Riley really got away from it because there's nothing happening there.
Howard said they were talking about Medicated Pete doing the porno with Tabitha Stevens and his dad was all for it as long as he gets paid well. Howard said that there is no money in that. He said there won't be any profits either. He said that Pete just wants to fuck Tabitha Stevens. He said they have to keep track of that.
Howard said Gary was reminding him of J-Lo and how you never see her sing live. He said they didn't even let her sing in the Selena movie. Howard said Gary and JD were playing him a clip of her singing a Barbara Streissand song in a studio and fucking it up. Howard played some of that for Robin. It was really bad. She had to apologize to the crew in there. J-Lo said it even threw her off. She was laughing the whole time. She couldn't get the right note.
Howard said she is hot. He said she's good looking but the singing isn't there. Howard said that she doesn't know what she's doing on American Idol either. Howard said that Steven is always singing with the contestants and she doesn't even try.
Howard played more of J-Lo trying to sing and not being able to hit the notes. Howard wondered why she'd try to sing that song.
Steve said that Jay Leno has been named Man of the Year by the Hasty Pudding Club. He said they refused to speak to Howard 100 News about it.
Howard thanked Robin for that. He said that it was the guy on the phone who was bad mouthing him earlier, not him. Robin continued to go over Ringo's history for a minute. Howard said he's with her on that and he's a Ringo fan. Howard said she reminded him of how good he is and he's going to write away for his autograph.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up how great he was with Jerry Springer. He said that Howard does that with so many people. He said that he learned a lot about Jerry.
The caller also said that he did an interview with Wilson Phillips and the fact that he got the born again lady admit she lets her husband blow a load on her face is amazing. Howard said that they learned that about her and that she had to leave the guy for a while.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Dr. Laura's show was a repeat yesterday. Howard said they didn't know that. Howard wondered if that was a result of the phony phone calls coming in. He said he has to remind Dr. Laura that the reason they even exist right now is because of him. He said that she's hiding behind that freedom of speech bullshit now. He said that she wanted to get her freedom of speech but no one took it from her. He said her ratings just went away and she was getting heat for using the N-word so she came over there.
Howard said Dr. Laura did an interview with a magazine so he read some of that. Howard read about her comments about him. She said that she finds him repugnant. Howard said that she's supposed to hate him. This was a recent article in Los Angeles magazine. She called Howard vulgar and so mean. Howard said that she was upset about him saying he wanted to have sex with Larry King's rotting skull. Howard said he didn't know that was so bad. Robin said that she calls gay people ''biological errors'' and she's complaining about what Howard says?
Howard read more of that article and Dr. Laura had that all wrong. It wasn't Larry King he wanted to skull fuck. It was another Larry. Howard read more of her comments about him and she had a lot of it wrong. Howard said he'll never get sick of the naked pictures of her that are on the web. He said that she's not even naked, she's spread eagle. He said that she has a giant bush too. He said that she's miss morality but she's spread eagle with the giant pussy lips in this picture. Howard said he doesn't understand people like that. Howard said she has a lot of hair in her ass. Gary said you can search for the picture in Google and it should come up.
Howard said she has a gunt too. He told Gary to get it blown up and put it in his office. Robin suggested that they have Benjy put it out front. Howard said now they're on to something. Howard said they have six pictures in light boxes in the lobby. He said they're big too. He said that his picture is always in there but they rotate the others. He said Rosie is up all the time too. He said Oprah is in there and Martha Stewart too. He said that they had Dr. Laura in there and she looks 19 in that picture. Howard said that if they could blow that up and put it in the light box, that would be great. He said she's so happy in this naked picture. He said he has no idea what's going on there.
JD said they have a glass wall there in the studio that they could put the picture in. Howard told JD to put the picture over Cousin Brucie. He said he'll have to be the one to put the picture up out there. He doesn't want anyone getting fired for doing that. Howard said Dr. Laura wouldn't have this place to go to if it wasn't for him.
Howard wondered who would listen to her. She's got the most screwed up life ever. Howard read more of the article and said that she's divorced but she preaches to people. She also pushes abstinence but she had sex before marriage. Howard said that the pictures of her were taken when she was 28. Howard said he wants to be the one to hang the light box picture. He doesn't want anyone getting fired.
Howard wondered if you can get ass hairs pulled out. Robin said that's what a Brazilian wax is. Howard said he can't imagine she does that. He said that she must be fucking someone. He said that people should go Google the picture to see how hairy her asshole is. Benjy said it looks like Howard's head kind of. Howard said the hair goes all the way up her crack. He said she must be part man, baby. Howard went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along with the song a little bit. Howard said that James was going to come in but he was told he couldn't talk about the kids and Carley Simon. Howard said he'd be kind of a sell out if he couldn't bring up that stuff. Robin said he can control those people but not them.
Howard said that he wishes he could have been married to the young James Taylor. He said he had a massive crush on him. He said that in a very effeminate voice. Howard said he's so full of useless information. He was trying to come up with the date of a James Taylor album.
Howard took a call from a guy who said they got about a foot of snow up in his area and they were only supposed to get 6 inches. Howard said that's what happened to his parents too. He said his mom called and told him that they went out and got some stuff and didn't leave the house all day waiting for the snow to come. Howard said they could have gone out until the snow came. Howard said they're all set though. He said he has to check in on them though.
Howard said he will call his mom during the snow and ask if they got plowed out. He said his mom acts like it's a disaster every time. Howard said she says she hasn't seen the guy yet and it hasn't even started yet. Howard said she worries that he won't show up. Howard said he does show up consistently though.
Howard did impressions of his mother and father talking about the snow plow guy and arguing on the phone about it.
The caller asked Howard to get Steve Langford over to Regis and Kelly to get Kelsey Grammer. Howard said it's Disc Jockey week over there actually. He said they had this kid who looked about 19 years old on the show. He said that he's like a zoo guy. He said they have to have a clean cut look. He said that even Ryan Seacrest is too shabby for them. Howard said that this kid made him appreciate Regis even more. Howard said that the kid had a name like Dr. Tool or something like that. The caller had no idea who the guy was. He had the sound down while he watched. Howard said that Kelly was calling him Dr. Tool. Benjy said it was actually Bobby Bones. Howard said that's right. He did an impression of this kid talking and said he wanted to watch the show because one of the women from Housewives of Beverly Hills was on the show. He said she looked pretty good to him. He wondered how old she was. The caller figured she was about 40. Howard said one of the women has big plastic surgery lips and a pulled back face and she's only 39.
Howard said he's not going to send Langford over to bother Kelsey Grammer. He said he would like Kelsey to come on the show. He wondered if they're going to ask him about the cross dressing on Regis and Kelly. Howard figured they won't because that's the kind of interviews they do on that show. Howard said that's why he's sitting there with no guests today.
The caller said that he saw that James Taylor is going to be playing there at Carnegie Hall. He started to ramble about that a little too much for Howard so he hung up on the guy.
Howard said he got a note about Kelsey being on Letterman and he didn't bring up the cross dressing thing. Howard said he can't understand how they don't bring that up. JD came in and said that was actually the same week Camille was on their show. They didn't bring up the cross dressing.
Howard said he was supposed to go out to visit his daughter yesterday but she was sick and she had mid terms coming up so he skipped it. He said that's what stinks about divorce. They have to rework their schedules. Howard said it's not easy. Howard said that he wants more time with his kids than they want with him. He said they're older now. His youngest just turned 18. He said she grew up so fast. He said he sees her and he doesn't even recognize her at times. Howard said that he'll look over and see this young lady walking to the bathroom and he doesn't know who it is.
Another caller said he thinks that Howard should play some of his old shit on his channel now that Bubba is gone. Howard said that they have been playing some of the older shows lately in place of Bubba. Howard said that some people think that's what they should be playing every day. Howard said they may just do that. The caller said that there are endless amounts of shit that he hasn't heard. Howard said that he has heard from some exciting radio personalities that want to get on their channels there. He said he thinks that they could have some fun people on board.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said he was wondering if he could work the red carpet. Howard said he has said no already. He asked how many times he's going to call and ask. He knows that Jeff is going to call back and bad mouth him. Jeff said that's not true. Howard said he does it every time. Howard said that Jeff wants to go to the Oscar's and ask questions. Howard said that it's Jeff and it would be fine if he didn't bring all of the aggravation with him. He said he'll complain about not getting enough money and his accommodations and all of that. He said he's not sure that he'll be cooperative. Jeff said he would be. Howard said it's never easy with him.
Gary said that Jeff can't even get out of his own house. Howard asked Jeff how he's going to get there. Jeff just said ''Umm...'' Howard said that's why they're not going to do this. He said that they can't send him. Howard told Jeff not to call back and complain about this. Jeff said ''fuck you'' to him before he got off the phone. He said he was just joking. Howard said he knows he'll get worked up and leave them a message complaining.
Howard said they sent Grillo to an awards show. He said that they sent him to the Adult Video News awards and Grillo talks kind of funny. He said he talks so fast that people don't know what he said. Howard played some examples of that. Grillo would mumble his questions so fast and unclear that people kept asking ''What?'' a lot. Robin said he rattles right through those questions. Howard played a few more examples of those questions and said it was kind of funny that they didn't understand. He screwed up some of the questions too. Howard said he had to ask each question 2 to 3 times.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's been listening since he was like 13 or 14. He said he remembers his mom smacking the hell out of him when she caught him. Howard hung up on the guy because he was going on and on saying hi to Robin and stuff.
Another caller asked if Beth ever confessed a lie, would he be able to forgive her. Robin said she thought she caught her recently. Howard said he brought up that massage thing once. Robin said it was something recent. Howard said she doesn't really lie. Howard said he can't imagine what the lie would be. The caller asked if she lied about going to lunch with an ex-boyfriend or something. Howard said she wouldn't have to lie to him about that though. Howard said it is healthy that she's not like that. He said that he knows how she feels about her ex boyfriends. He said that's why they're ''ex.'' Howard said he thinks that he might obsess about it if she did lie though. He said he'd be going over and over it in his head.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he'd consider replacing Mutt or have someone fill in for him. Howard said he hasn't heard the show in a couple of months but when he has tuned in he likes the way Mutt runs it. The caller said he thinks it would give some of the guys on the staff some work to do before this contract is up. He suggested a few people on staff including JD. Howard said that it makes sense for Mutt to host it. He said that there are a lot of negative things on his web site though. He said that Ralph is hosting the show tonight actually. He said that Mutt is busy.
The caller asked what's up with Fred being late this morning. Howard said Fred is never late so it's not like he's mad at him or anything. Fred said he was late once when his alarm clocks were shut off. Howard said that everyone has been late but Benjy was late a lot. He said that Benjy has been on time lately so he's been good about that. Fred said Benjy comes in with his bicycle helmet on now. Howard said he saw Benjy out in front of his building one night and he looked like a creepy delivery guy. He was there to drop off some flowers for them.
They ended up talking about the psych test results and Robin is still worked up about that and how Howard came out the best. Howard said he held back on reading the email about that because he knows how sensitive she is.
The caller said that Robin claims that she used to be a backup singer. Robin said that she never said she was. Robin said she was in a little girl group in College but that was it. Fred played some of Robin singing on Stuttering John's album.
Howard said Riley Martin had a coughing fit during his show the other night. He said he's not sure if it's sneezing or coughing in this clip. Howard played that and Riley coughs a couple of times and then makes some odd noises that sounded kind of like sneezes and coughs.
Howard said Sal and Richard made a new call and they used Gary the Retard and Wendy the Retard in it. He said that they argue and Wendy is coughing and sick so it's really gross. Howard wondered what the hell is going on with Wendy. He said they don't seem to like each other at all.
Howard played the clip which was actually a Jack and Rod Show bit where they had a football player on the line and they put Gary and Wendy the Retards on the line to talk to the guy. Wendy was coughing the whole time. Howard said she's a mess. Gary was making fun of her coughing and didn't even remember they were making a phony phone call. The guest asked Wendy who she was rooting for. Wendy said that she's rooting for the Dallas Cowboys. They're not even in the game. Gary the Retard said he's not even in the game. Wendy talked about how she has bladder problems so she's been peeing herself. Gary said he had no idea what they were talking about. The guest ended up hanging up when he pretended he couldn't hear what they were saying.
Howard said he thinks that Wendy just refuses to use the bathroom and that's why she's wearing the diaper. Howard said maybe she does have a problem though. He said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and had Jon Hein come in to give them an update for the Wrap Up Show. Ralph was also on the phone with a Superfan Roundtable update. Ralph is hosting in place of Mutt tonight. Ralph said they'll be talking about Medicated Pete and a lot of other stuff about the show this week. Howard said he must not have anything prepared. Ralph said he thinks he does. He said they have a lot of stuff going on.
Jon came in and ran down his show preview. They spent a few minutes talking about Dr. Laura and Howard's plan to replace her picture out there. Howard said he'd like to know how long it'll take to get ripped down. Howard said Gary is making a picture that's suitable for framing in that light box.
Howard played Rihanna's song and ended up talking about her for a minute. He said that he read they were going to out her as a lesbian but that story went away. He said he doesn't believe it anyway. He said it would be kind of cool anyway. Howard said it's not that big of a deal when they come out anyway. It's a bigger deal for guys.
Howard said Enrique Iglacias is back too. He's got a song in the top 5. He played that song and then some Wiz Khalifa, Katy Perry and Bruno Mars.
Robin started off talking about the Chilean miners and how they're still not back to work. Robin said they're still in the news and they're going to be going to Disney World today for a free vacation. Howard said that if they were working in this country they'd have a lawsuit. Since they're from Chile they'll have to go back to work. They're going to be spoiled by these free trips and crap that they're getting. Howard said they don't know what they're doing in Chile. Robin said they're getting a $500 gift card to spend at Disney too. Howard said they should give them cash. Howard said they're going to bring back that Disney drek to Chile.
Gary came in and said that one of the guys got his benefits cut off because he's there in the States. Howard said that's because he should be back working in the mine. Gary said he thinks that they cut them off because he's been gone for 2 months. Howard said they should come up with a ''Dancing with the Miners'' TV show. He said they could do a ''Mining with the Stars'' show too. He said they could stick celebrities in the mine and see what happens. He wondered if he was out of his mind with that. Howard imagined Bristol Palin being there.
Robin read a story about a Canadian woman who is graduating with a Masters in ''Beatleology.'' Howard said her poor dad must be upset about that. Howard said he's probably making 30 grand a year and she's mastering in The Beatles.
Howard took a call from a guy who claimed to be a miner. The guy wasn't responding to Howard so he hung up on him. He told the Droid people to work on the battery. Howard said he's already down to 60 percent power and it's only been in use for 4 hours. Howard said they have to get that stuff to work better.
Robin read a story about a guy who is suing Facebook because of their lack of a response to his emails to them. He's accusing them of religious discrimination because he's Muslim.
Robin read a story about a woman who was killed by a plow truck while walking into work. Howard wondered if you're in pain when you get hit by something like that. Robin said there must be.
Ralph called in and told Howard if he's running multiple apps then the phone is going to drain faster. Ralph said that's why the iPhone lasts so long. They didn't allow multiple apps to run. Howard said he's not running multiple apps. He doesn't think he is anyway.
Robin brought up the reporters on FOX news and how good looking they are. Howard said he's shocked at how good looking they are and they're all smart too.
Robin read a story about Joel Olsteen and what he said about Elton John and his Civil Union. Howard said a lot of times guys like that are gay themselves. He wasn't saying that about Joel but that does happen sometimes. Robin had some audio from Piers Morgan's show where Joel was talking about this stuff. Howard said he's kind of given up on watching guys like that. He said there is this guy Benny Hinn who was in a video knocking people down with his touch and someone edited in a Light Saber. He said Richie Wilson sent him that link. The Howard TV guys put that up on the monitor in the studio to show what he was talking about.
Robin read a story about Ford building cars that can talk to each other. Robin said they could use that for detecting collisions and things like that. Fred threw in Gary's ''Hello, hello'' clip while Robin went through that. Robin also had some audio of a Ford rep talking about that tech.
Robin read about how iTunes had to remove a Nazi song from their store in Germany. Robin had some audio of that song that she had Howard play.
Robin read a story about how an unknown person handed over an envelope to German authorities showing some faces of people who were involved with the Nazis in Russia. They're trying to find out who they were so they can prosecute them. Howard figured they'd all be dead by now.
Robin read about how Jesse James is in Us Weekly dressed in Nazi regalia and giving the Nazi salute. Robin said that this is a different picture than the other Nazi outfit picture that was out last year. Howard wondered if Sandra Bullock really didn't know who she was with.
Howard took a call from Rachel Butera, who was doing her Underdog Lady impression. She was complaining about them playing a clip of her earlier this morning. Howard played along and argued with her about using the clips. Howard asked if Little Lupe was there too. Rachel did her impression of Lupe and had phone sex with Howard. Howard asked Lupe if everything was alright. She said that her anus fell out but other than that she's good. Rachel got back to Underdog and spoke to Howard in that voice for a little longer. Howard asked if she's going to be playing Underdog this year. She said she will be in March but she has gout right now because she's been eating a lot of fatty foods.
Howard said he thinks that John the Stutterer is on too. He picked up on Chad Diller who does that impression too. He had the two of them arguing as underdog and John the Stutterer. Howard asked if Chad is working on a Jason Kaplan impression too. Chad did that impression and he sounds a lot like Jason. He had Howard laughing. He said that it's an unbelievable talent to be able to do that.
Howard asked who else he could do. Rachel did her Tracey Millman impression. Howard played with that for a minute and had her goofing on Gary and Steve Grillo. Chad did his Jason impression and argued with Tracey. Howard asked if they'll have phone sex. Tracey said that was the grossest thing she's ever heard. Chad told Howard to get the Dr. Laura phone app for his phone but he cut off in the middle of his comment. Howard said he could listen to them all day long. Robin read a little more about Jesse James and then they went to break.
After the break, around 9:50am, Robin read a story about how a store put a shield over an Us Magazine because Elton John and his partner were on the cover with their adopted child. Robin said the grocery chain that did it have since removed the shield.
Robin read a story about President Obama going to visit a manufacturing plant and giving them a speech. Robin had some audio of that speech.
Howard took a call from a guy how there's an app called ''Advanced App Killer'' for the Android phone. He said it will save the battery. Howard said he'll check that out. The guy also asked why Howard doesn't get a vasectomy. Howard said he's afraid to. He said he doesn't want Beth taking any birth control shots or anything like that either. Howard said his stuff works and he doesn't want to screw that up. He also heard that vasectomies can cause prostate cancer too. Howard said he likes using a condom. He said he thinks that he cums too fast as it is. Howard said he loves vagina. Howard said he's enjoying it just fine the way it is.
Robin read about how President Obama is doing another thing today where he's answering questions from citizens. Robin had some other updates about some stuff he's up to this week. She had some audio clips too.
Robin read about Nelson Mandela being admitted to a hospital. Howard said he hopes the guy lives a lot longer. He spent most of his life in jail. Robin said that they've asked the citizens to remain calm. They seem to be afraid that he's going to die and people are going to freak out.
Robin said that Google has a new thing going on where you can enter a Google Doodle contest. You can get your doodle posted on Google's main search page. They're giving away $15,000 to winners.
Robin read about kids playing video games and how some kids rarely put down their controllers. She had some audio of a doctor talking about these pathological players who play between 4-6 hours every day. Howard said that doesn't sound so bad. He watches TV for 4-6 hours a day and look at how he turned out. He said he's a fine example.
Robin said that Sarah Palin described President Obama's speech with ''WTF'' in some texts that she sent out. Robin had some audio of her talking about how there were a lot of those moments in his speech. Howard did a live commercial after that.
Robin got back to her news and read some news about Bristol Palin and some stuff she's going to be doing.
Robin read a story about how some breast implants may cause some type of rare cancer. Robin said that the cancer can form anywhere but in the cases they reviewed it was by the implants.
Robin read about how Utah is going to adopt a firearm as a state symbol. She said they want to use a .22 caliber pistol. Robin said she's not sure why it's that particular gun.
Robin read a story about the founder of Wikileaks being on 60 Minutes this weekend.
Robin read about a U.S. Missionary that was shot dead in Mexico. She and her husband were trying to flee when they opened fire and killed the woman. Robin said it's like the wild west there. She knew that Howard would never go there again.
Robin said that MTV may be canceling ''Skins'' soon because they've lost some sponsors. Robin said the ratings were also down so they may cancel it soon.
Robin read about Justin Bieber and Ozzy Osbourne appearing in a Best Buy commercial together. Robin said that Justin is one of the biggest stars right now and that's why American Idol is allowing 15 year olds now. Howard said he's disturbed by that kid. He said he hates to see someone that age having so much success.
Robin read a story about how a Lady Gaga tune has been turned into ''Steel Defense'' for the Super Bowl. Robin said that it must be some fans who did that. They played some of it and it wasn't very good.
Robin had some audio of Gwyneth Paltrow talking about some stuff. Howard didn't last long with that. They had to end the show a short time later, right around 10:10am.
Jon went over some of the stuff they were going to cover and mentioned Howard's new phone. Gary said he got there this morning and didn't see Jon there. He said he thought he didn't get there but it turns out he was in with Howard talking to him about his phone. Jon said that he thinks Howard is going to keep it. Gary said you have to get used to it and he thinks that it will work itself out after some time. Jon said he told him that he would get annoyed with the battery thing. He said that you do have to sit down and use the phone for a while to get used to it.
Benjy asked about how they got into the Blackberry BBM thing. Gary said they all started on that a while ago and they would have some fun with that. They're not going to be using the BBM thing anymore. Gary asked what Benjy uses. Benjy said he just uses a phone. He said he can't check his email or anything. Jon said that he's way behind with that phone. Benjy said he can text but it takes like an hour to do it.
Jon wanted to talk about Dr. Laura and asked Gary why Howard gets so annoyed with her. Gary said that she used to be mentioned in articles with him and she seems to be a little hypocritical. She likes to take shots at Howard in the press too. Benjy said that she has taken direct shots at him and that bothers him. Gary said that it was the thing she said about not ever working with Howard at Infinity Broadcasting because of who he is. Gary said that of course now she's working at the same company.
Jon asked about the photos that they were talking about. Gary said he can't generate a light box photo that quickly but he will send it out for Howard to get up out there. He said he likes that Howard is ready to put it out there because they're not going to fire him for it.
Benjy said they should shut up about it for a few days and put it up to see how long it takes to get noticed.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that her knocking Howard is a way for her to get attention for her show. Gary said it could be. Benjy said he thinks that she thinks they're evil and she's being sincere about that. Gary said that anyone who claims to be perfect scares him. He said that makes him think that they have some really strange shit going on.
Jon brought up Kathie Lee and how she's kind of dodging a bullet right now. Gary said that Jay Leno and Rush Limbaugh are right up there too. He said that Rosie, Chevy, Dice and others have come off of Howard's list over the years. He said to piss him off you really have to piss him off these days.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she loves the show. She said that she also loved Gary's book. She said she called Dr. Laura's show on Tuesday and it was funny because she spoke to the screener who said they were running out of time with an hour left in the show. She said she heard the pranksters after that. The caller said she asked the screener what's going on with the delay since all of the shows have them. She said the screener told her that it was just something they were doing that one day. She said that they were going to be using the delay after that day.
Benjy asked the caller why she was calling the show. She said she was calling in to tell her what Baba Booey means since she had no idea. Gary said Laura knows what it means. He said that her producers know what it means and they would tell her. Gary said that when you say you don't know what it means it's bullshit.
Jon said they say that they ran a repeat yesterday. Gary said he's not sure that's right. He heard that they were taking numbers and calling people back.
Jon asked Gary how you handle a situation like that where you're under attack. Gary said that Howard can handle all of that stuff so they don't worry about it. Benjy said the show isn't phone call driven either. He said that they don't have to take calls. Gary said that he's heard Howard take calls like that and turn it around almost making people cry.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they're using Advanced Task Killer on their Android phones. Jon and Gary both do and it doesn't help. The caller said he kills everything and it seems to work. Jon said the phone should work and you shouldn't have to do all of that. He said they just drain battery life. Gary said he has the Blackberry and that's good for about 24 hours. He wondered where the iPhone falls. Jon said that it has better battery life than all of them. Jon said he hopes that they'll work on it and they'll get better eventually.
Another caller said that two of the biggest things on the Android phone to turn off is the data checking. He said that you can turn off GPS too. He said that some people have it on and they don't even know it. Gary said he's going to try that after the show is over. The caller told them to keep the power widgets on their home screen. Gary asked why you need the GPS. Jon said you can use it for weather apps and things like that or for a GPS driving thing. Gary said he doesn't think he'd need that then. Jon said Howard doesn't need any of that either. Benjy said if you put a 9 volt battery on your tongue you can get a zap too.
Jon said that Howard was getting upset with him about his phone not showing the date. He said that Jason helped him figure all of that out.
A caller said that it has been a pleasure hearing Benjy on the show lately. He's been acting real and normal for the past couple of days and he knows he's jinxing it by making the call. The guy said he really did enjoy him the last two days though. Jon said they'll try to keep him real. Benjy said he's into it too. They had to go to break after that.
Benjy said he likes when people are late. He said he was eagerly excited about it. He said he liked that he was late. Benjy said it takes the pressure off of him. Gary said that the first time Benjy was late no one said a word. The second and third time no one said anything. Benjy said that's probably true. He asked if they can throw him a party when he's on time for 6 months straight. Gary said that probably won't happen.
Jon said that a lot of people come to work in casual clothes on days like this. Gary said he noticed Ross, Langford and Ronnie all showed up casual. Jon said that Langford was a big surprise. He said that Ronnie and Steve dressed that way is really odd to see.
Jon asked if it's business as usual once they're there. Gary said it is. He said the funniest line Howard had this morning was when Howard did the impression of his mother talking about how she was starving and eating Ben's arm and leg.
JD came in and talked about Ronnie's casual wear and how he was just ''cool guy Ronnie.'' Gary said he looked like he just stepped out of a pick up truck or just came from a NASCAR race. JD talked about some of the other guys like Scott the Engineer and Steve Langford who showed up casual. Jon was dressed up according to Gary.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that it's really easy to point fingers at people who don't come in when they don't live in the city. Gary said that he and Jon don't live there. Gary said they heard the weather reports and decided to get hotel rooms. He said that Jared's assistant said that he had a good rate on a hotel so they took it. Gary said they ate the pizza from the intern show and then went over to the hotel and he and Jon had rooms with two beds in there. Gary said they could have saved money but they didn't want to hear Langford doing reports or anyone goofing on them.
Gary said that they were checking in and both went up to their rooms at the same time. He said Jon called him later and wanted to know when he's leaving. Gary said that he was going to sleep in a little bit. They talked about that and then went their separate ways.
JD said he slept there last night. Jon said he asked him to stay at the hotel. JD said he knows that he wouldn't have. JD said it was better to be there because he got more done. He said he slept in the green room for a couple of hours. Gary said everyone naps in that green room. JD said that he slept in the one with the small couch, not the big bed.
Gary said that Jason naps in there and he's going to bring in a sheet and a pillow. JD said on Sunday nights he doesn't care.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's a Dr. Laura fan but also a huge Howard fan. He said that he just started listening to her show again recently and he enjoys it. He said he likes the train wreck and he likes her point of view. Gary asked how it works if he's a fan of both. The guy said he considers Howard's show as being goofy and base. He said that he's an educated middle class white guy and he thinks that he fits into the demographic for Howard's show. He said Dr. Laura represents that there is right and wrong and doing the right thing is not easy. He said she stands on principles. He said that she had another life where she did some things. He said that he just takes it for what it is and she represents a good, sound moral point of view. He said he thinks that it's good.
Jon asked if he gets upset when Howard goes off on her. The caller said that Howard's point of view is very narrow. He said he listens to his point of view and takes it with a grain of salt. He does the same with Dr. Laura. He said it's kind of predictable that they were going to fight. He said he agrees with Howard that she owes it to him for what he's done.
Gary asked if he thinks the Sybian Rides are funny. The caller said he loves that. Gary asked how he puts that together with what Dr. Laura says. The caller said he's an adult and he can filter out that stuff. He said he can live his life his own way. He doesn't go to strip clubs and peep shows. He said he can enjoy that Sybian Ride thing.
Benjy said he used to listen to Dr. Laura's show and he liked it. He said he doesn't like her points of view but the show wasn't so bad. They spent another minute on that and then went to break.
Jon asked Ronnie about Robin's military time and how she didn't like the people who were above her. Ronnie said that wasn't surprising to him at all. He said she still has her moments with people who are above her. Jon asked when that changed. Ronnie said he doesn't know. He said that she's obviously not cured.
Jon asked Ronnie about Steve Grillo and the AVN clips. Ronnie missed that part of the show. He didn't know why Jon was bringing it up.
A caller brought up the Ringo thing and said he did a show with a guy who wrote a book about the Beatles and this guy had an answer for him. He said that it was Ringo that did the drum solo that they were talking about this morning. Gary said he thinks that Ringo is very underrated and it's easy to pick on him. He said that they actually stole Ringo from another band so they got him for a reason.
Gary said Ralph was talking about what he was going to do on Superfan tonight and one of the things was about him trying to be the parks and rec commissioner. Gary said he is not running for commissioner. He's on a voluntary committee for an advisory board. He's not running for commissioner. Gary said that he wants Ralph to know that for tonight's show.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Ronnie if he would ever ask Dr. Laura out because he's the same age. Ronnie said he doesn't date anyone that old. His cut off date is 28. Ronnie is dating a 28 year old now.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he wanted to comment on Ralph. He said he wanted to talk about Medicated Pete too. He said he has a guy he works with who has Tourette's too. He said they should cast him as Michael J. Fox. Gary told the guy to put the cover back on the oil he was delivering. He must be getting too many fumes. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:10am.