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After those clips we heard a bunch of people commenting on the movie and then host Jim Forbes talking about the movie going into production in February 1996. We heard from Robin and Fred about the movie and how happy they were about the movie going into production.
That led into a clip from the show where Howard took a call from his mother about how she wanted to be in the movie herself. She said she works cheap too. Howard said she's not an actress though. He told her she can audition though. He told her she could do a topless scene or something.
We heard from current day Howard about the movie and how he wanted to make something special with his movie. We heard from director Betty Thomas as well. Betty talked about meeting Howard for the first time and how odd it was for her. She said that he was wearing bib overalls the day she met him. She said he came running in and put his hand out to shake his hand. She said he was shaking when he met her and she knew she could work with this guy because he was vulnerable.
Robin said that Ivan Reitman asked if she was ready for this and then Betty Thomas asked her if she was ready for this and if she was nervous. Robin said she wasn't but thought Betty should be because she was working with a bunch of non-actors.
That led into another show clip where Howard had a guy on the phone who was asking when he was going to start shooting the movie. Robin knew that it was the last week in April. The movie would be coming out about a year later. Howard told the guy about who he was going to be playing himself in the movie. The guy sounded kind of shocked by that.
Next up we heard Howard talking about his book and how it wasn't a joke book. It was a serious book about his life and that's what he wanted in the movie. Gary also commented on that and said that Howard caught a lot of crap about the movie before it even came out.
Jim Forbes introduced Len Blum who ended up writing the movie. We heard him commenting on what he wrote and then more from Howard about his career and how no one expected it. Gary also commented on that and talked about how great he thought the script was.
That led into a clip from the show where Howard talked about having his script for the movie. He said that they were still working on it and they had just changed it a lot in the past week. Howard said it keeps changing into something different.
After that Jim Forbes talked about how Gary was the first one to shoot scenes for the movie. WE heard from Gary about those scenes and how they were supposed to cover seasons. He said they were doing this in March and they were hoping for that so they could shoot in the snow. Betty Thomas also talked about that. Betty said they were trying to get them done before pre-production because the schedule was so tight.
We also heard from Director/actor Eli Roth who was working on the set of the movie back then. Eli talked about seeing Gary working with Camille Grammer at the time in one of the scenes. Betty said that they were out next to a freeway and she was supposed to be topless. She said that she really looked uncomfortable and that's the way she wanted it to look. They played some audio from that scene as well.
Eli talked about how the fans were driving by yelling out ''Baba Booey'' through the shooting of the scene. They played some of that audio as well. Then we heard from Gary about how he was told by Betty to just be himself in those scenes. Betty also commented on that and said she was trying to keep it funny and still be able to give everyone the information. They played some more of the audio of Gary doing his thing with Crackhead Bob and Nicole Bass.
They had Gary talking about how nervous he was about being in the movie and how Betty made things easier on him. He said she put her arm around her and told him that it was ''all about the teeth.'' She was trying to make things lighter on the set and she was joking around with him by doing that. We heard from Betty about that too.
Gary talked about a scene in front of a museum where they shot in this van and he wasn't told what they were going to be doing. Gary explained what they ended up doing and how they were trying to make it like something from the show. They played audio of that scene where Gary was trying to get this guy's wife to get naked for the movie. They had a donkey in the scene and Gary told her it had nothing to do with the scene. The woman refuses to do the scene and Gary walks off.
Gary said he remembers doing that scene in front of this museum and this chick is naked in the car and this school trip came by and one of the kids saw the woman naked in the car. Betty came over with a blanket to cover her up.
In the clip Howard was talking to John about this guy Marty who hit him and how he was having headaches that he wasn't able to get over. They talked about what happened that night and then played some audio of John getting into it with this guy. John was explaining the scene and how it all went down. John was making fun of Marty's voice and he comes right over to him and smacks him. They had the audio of John getting smacked and this guy Marty claiming that John was using the N-word. The guy smacked the camera and then smacked John.
Howard and the guys were goofing on John about the way he was handled by that old man Marty. Howard said John showed some restraint and that should help in court when he sues that guy. Howard said Gange didn't appear to know what was going on there. Gange said that he went off to grab the tape recorder that got knocked out of his hands. They went to break after that.
After that we heard Robin talking about how anything out of the ordinary becomes legend on the show. She said she had some issues and she went to get the colonic after some people suggested it. She said she got it and nothing happened. She said nothing changed her life. She said it came up on the show one day and they asked her about what happened. She said that she told them that the woman who did it saw carrots so that became a regular thing on the show.
They played more of the clip of Robin talking about the colonic and how it all comes out of you as it's going in. It's a flushing. Howard almost vomited when he heard that. Howard asked about that and told Robin that it's such a racket. They asked what it cost her to get it done. Robin didn't want to say but it was somewhere between 50 and 100 bucks. Howard told her that it's so wrong and so unnatural. He said that it doesn't sound right. He said it's so totally wrong for the human body. He said that she's fine back there and she shouldn't be doing this. He said that her problem isn't back there, it's up there in her head.
Robin told the guys more about the colonics and what was going on with that. She said she had a terrible time the first time. Jackie was making noise like he was about to vomit. Robin told them about the woman telling her about seeing carrots coming out. That got some laughs from the guys. Howard said he has to get that into the movie. Howard asked if they could imagine Jackie getting one. He'd have Pizza Hut with the cardboard box coming out. Howard said he had to get out of there after that. He said he was going for a fitting that day. Howard said he was told to try that colonic thing too but he's not going to do it.
Jackie asked what a high colonic is. Robin said it goes through your whole colon and not your lower colon. Howard ripped a fart into the mic while they were talking about that. Jackie said ''Ooo... a carrot!'' when he heard that. Howard asked Robin if she hears any farts when she's doing that. Robin said sometimes it does come out. Howard asked if she's going to keep going. Robin said she's going to finish her series. Howard asked if she feels stupid laying on the table. Robin said she does feel a little stupid.
After that we heard from Jackie Martling about that material and how he knew it was going to be material for the show. Jackie said he knew 1/4 of the sentence in that it was going to be great. He said that they knew they had a gold mine of material.
That led into a segment from the show where they had a song parody about Robin's colonics. They wrote a song parody to the tune of ''Lump'' by the Presidents Of The United States Of America. The band performed the song, ''Clump,'' live in the studio without much rehearsal.
Mystery Guest. 3-15-96. Howard found out who the mystery guest was so he ran the bit this morning. Fred went first and asked if the guy was in TV, he did some TV but doesn't have his own show. Jackie was next and asked him if he was a sports star. Robin's turn came and she blurted out 'it's John Kennedy Jr.' She said that she recognized his voice because she had watched a biography about him on A&E last night. So anyway, John F. Kennedy Jr. in the studio is pretty awkward for Howard since he always busts on the guy about how he doesn't work. Apparently John wrote a note to Howard saying that he has a good sense of humor and would love to have Howard on the cover of his magazine, George. Howard thought it would be cool and did it. He met John John at the photo shoot. John seemed to be pretty cool with Howard but he won't be showing up on the E! show. He doesn't want anyone to see his face near Howard's I guess. Howard asked which of the other Kennedy's are fans of his. I guess none of them, the subject changed. Near the end of the interview, Howard brought in all of the horny women from the offices at K-Rock. They were all speechless.
After hearing some of that we heard from Robin about how the interview wasn't all that great but it was weird that they were talking to the guy who they remembered seeing saluting his father's grave. They played more of the interview after playing some of Robin's comments.
Next up we heard Howard talking about how no one ever expected him to be on the show. He said that his mother kept him out of the public eye for most of his life. We also heard from Pat Manocchia who was talking about how close he was to John. He said it's too bad Howard and John didn't get to know each other sooner. Howard said it was sad that he passed away. He said if he had his kind of dough he never would have flown a plane like that.
We heard from Gary who was talking about how they got this interview set up. Howard said he had asked Dave to come in since he had been on his show so many times. Scott DePace said that Dave was kind of shamed into it. Fred said Dave looked like he was being held hostage by Al Queda. He said Dave really looks like an uncomfortable human being. He said it's really no different than what Dave does on his own show. He said it proves that Dave is a human being. That led into the segment from March 19, 1996 when Dave came in. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
David Letterman makes his first Stern Show appearance. 3-19-96. Yes David Letterman finally showed up on the show today (THIS APPEARANCE WILL BE ON E! TONIGHT!!!!). Howard has waited 12 long years for this and it was worth the wait. I thought that David would be awkward and weird like he is when he calls in on the phone for Howard's birthday show. He seemed as relaxed as he possibly could be. He was very entertaining and funny. I'm sure that The Interactive King Of All Media Newsletter will have a better written article than I could possibly write. I can't put in words how good the show was but I'll try. During the commercial break just before Letterman's appearance, Dave stuck his head in the studio and said that they told him not to come back there so he did anyway. Just the start of his nuttiness. Howard said that he thought he'd never see Letterman in the studio. Dave came in with his assistant ''Diamond'' Her name used to be Laurie Diamond I believe. (Missing partial write up, not sure what happened)...n uses Howard's show as a ''pre-interview''. Well Dave pretty much said that it's true. Richard Simmons is a prime example. Dave said that he never wanted him on his show until he heard how Howard handled him. Pat Cooper is another example. Dave never had the guy on until he was on the Stern show for a while. Early this morning Howard took questions from listeners for Dave. Dave answered a few of them. One listener wanted to ask if Dave's hair was a wig, well Dave's hair is really his hair. Dave was also arguing about short wave radio and the internet with Howard. The subject of Tom Snyder came up and Dave said that when Tom decides to leave TV the time slot is Howard's to take. Howard asked Dave if he'll appear in his movie for about 20 seconds. Dave said he'd do it but who knows if he'll actually show. Dave said that he came on the show because Howard had done so many nice things for him and all Howard asked for in return was for Dave to come on the radio show.
During the clip they interrupted and had Howard talking about how he's still never really had a ''real'' interview with Dave. He wanted to do one at ABC when they offered him a deal to do some interviews there. Howard said that the whole news department didn't want him to be part of the news department over there. He said that whole deal kind of fell apart. Howard said Dave would have done the interview but he didn't want to do the whole hour. He said that Dave probably didn't want the responsibility of getting ratings for that whole hour. Howard said he wanted to get Dave and some other celebrities but they came back to him and told him that they weren't going to let him be in the ABC News department. Howard said no one got the joke.
Howard said he thinks there's a really interesting guy there in Dave. He said he'd like to do something serious with him. They played more of the 1996 interview after that.
After that we heard Jim Forbes talking about how David Letterman did appear in Private Parts after that interview. Howard also talked about how he was surprised that Dave agreed to do it. Howard said Dave told him that he had always been good to him so he would return the favor. He said it was great that they got the real Dave to do that scene for the movie. They played some of the audio from that movie scene. Then we heard more from Dave about how he figured it would buy him some good will with Howard. He said that's what he thought could happen but he was wrong. They went to break after that.
Howard said they put him on at night and it was frustrating to him. He said they had Charles Laquidera on in the mornings and he was okay with that. Then his show got big numbers at night so they moved the show to mornings. He said it was a huge triumph for him to be on up there in Boston.
That led into a clip from the show where Howard took a call from a guy who was calling in to talk about him being on in the mornings now. Howard said that it wasn't a joke either. He said it was all very real. He talked to the caller about the new deal and how he's the man up there now. Howard said he got sick and tired of his relatives talking about how he wasn't on up there even though he was.
Howard took another call from a guy who said no one told them that they were going to be on in the morning up there. Howard said they were trying to make it seem like an April Fool's joke. Howard said he told them to do whatever they want, just put him on in the mornings. that caller asked about a discussion they had about ''felching'' which Howard didn't remember. He didn't even remember what felching was so Gary came in and described that to him. That led to Howard talking to Gary about giving his wife anal and Gary saying that she doesn't like it. Gary said he's done it with other women.
Next up we heard Jim Forbes talking about how a month later Howard was back on WCCC in Hartford. That's where Howard and Fred met. Howard and Fred commented on that move and how big of a deal that was too. Howard talked about how great it was to be back on in Hartford after all of those years. Howard said it was a great thing to look back on all of this because he was number one in so many markets. People really liked what he was doing. Fred said that you can't really go home again because you're not really there. He said they don't see your faces.
That led into a clip where Howard was talking about going back to WCCC. Here's an excerpt from my archives from that day:
Howard starts in Hartford. 5-6-96. After about 17 years, Howard returns to the station that started him in morning drive. WCCC 106.9 FM and WCCC AM will be broadcasting The King Of All Media in to Connecticut. Ironically, Howard also starts to film the Hartford part of his movie today. The man that wouldn't give Howard a $25 a week raise back in the early '80's is still running the station. Howard talked to Sy and busted his balls a little bit about not giving him that raise back then. Howard did a press conference for the station after a bunch of technical difficulties. He had to do the press conference over the phone instead of satellite. The few guys that were there didn't have anything to ask Howard so he cut them off and hung up.
After that we heard from Jim Forbes who talked about a year later Howard went into Detroit. Howard commented on that as well. Howard talked about how he was on the 4th rated rock station. He said he thinks he got there a little too late. He said that anytime you get on in a new market it's exciting. He said it's a tremendous vote of confidence to give him the morning drive slot on these stations. They went into a clip from the show where Howard announced they were on in Detroit. Here's a quick mention in my archives:
Howard Finally On In Detroit! 2/3/97. 6:10am
Howard has wanted to be on in Detroit for a long time now. Well his wish came true. As of this morning Howard is on 97.1 WYST taking old prune face Imus' place. Imus has been moved to an AM station where he belongs.
That led into some audio clips from some news reports about Howard going on there in Detroit. The report had some people commenting on the show and how against it they were.
We heard from Jackie the Joke Man and Scott the Engineer about William Shatner coming on the show and going into the Homo Room. They also had some audio of Shatner talking about going on the show that time and how strange that Homo Room experience was for him. Jackie said he was the perfect guy to go into the Homo Room. He said that sometimes you can screw it up when you do something like that but it worked great with Shatner. That all led into this segment from April of 1996. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
William Shatner enters ''The Homo Room'' 4-2-96. William Shatner(Captain Kirk on Star Trek) came in and had a very bizarre appearance. Today Howard decided to have Mr. Shatner enter a room that not many celebrities have entered...''The Homo Room'' The Homo Room is a place for the guys on the show to go and show their feminine side. Howard goes in to a gay voice and does all kinds of gay stuff. Howard became ''Stacy'', William Shatner became ''Jill'', Fred became ''Frederique'', Gary became ''Betsy'' and Jackie became ''Jessie''. Robin isn't aloud in the Homo Room because she's female. While in the room they did things like ''hide the frog(in the butt)'' and they typed with their genitals. Howard sang a couple of gay songs while Shatner tried to plug his Star Trek books, Star Trek The Return, Man O' War and
They played one of Sal's first ''Horse Tooth Jackass'' calls to Gary. Sal said that Stuttering John started taking the calls and he told him that he'd have him arrested if he called back once. He said that John told him that Gary was going crazy over these calls he was getting. He had them all on tape so he played them for John. Sal said John was laughing so hard that he wasn't even able to speak. Sal said John booked him for the show the following Monday. He was afraid he was going to get arrested. It turned out John wanted him to come down with the tape. Howard loved them when he got there. That led into a clip of the show where Sal made his first appearance in studio. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
New phony phone caller. 4-8-96. There's a new phony phone caller in town and he's making his mark on Baba Booey. This stock broker from New York City started making calls to Gary recently. Gary tried to insult the guy as soon as he came in by saying that the guys teeth were just as bad as his. Howard told Gary that he's nuts. This guy has been pretending to be people that Gary knows and when he finally gets him on the phone, he calls him a 'Horse toothed jackass'. Every call has those three words in them. One call Gary asked the guy who the manager of the Reds was and the phony phone caller goes '...H.T.J. ..' Gary says 'who's that?' the guy says '...HORSE TOOTHED JACKASS!...' This guy should be back tomorrow with a couple more calls. He impressed everyone, including Gary, with his calls. He might be limited in his range but the calls are very funny.
After that clip we heard Sal talking about the Horse Tooth Jackass thing and where that came from. Sal said that just summed up Gary. He said it popped into his head and it worked.
We heard from Ronnie the Limo Driver and how Sal was very up and trying to impress everyone when he'd come in. He didn't really care for him in the beginning. He said he was kind of an asshole. That led into another segment where Sal came in with some more of his calls. Here's another excerpt from my archives:
Sal the King of all Gary pranks in again. 4-9-96. Yesterday this guy came in and played his phony phone calls for Howard. He calls up Baba Booey and at the end of every phone call he calls Gary a 'Horse toothed jackass'. Today he came in to play a couple of calls that he didn't have yesterday. One call was made by a woman that Sal works with. She called up and pretended to be a reporter or something and asked Gary 'how does it feel to be a Horse Toothed Jackass?' Halfway through the question she started to laugh. Gary seems to really hate this guy. The guy just goofs on Gary the whole time that he's there. Gary tries to defend himself but his attempts are futile. There's no way that Gary can bad mouth anyone. His friggin teeth are so bad...and what's the deal with him not growing his damn moustache back. His giant upper lip is no match for those teeth...Oh no! Now I'm starting in on him!
After that clip we heard Jim Forbes talking about how Gary got his revenge on Sal years later. That led into a clip from the show where they played the audio of Gary getting back at Sal. They called Sal and had Howard offer him a job. Gary ends up getting on the phone and calls him a Horse Tooth Jackass and tells him that he's not getting the job. Gary kind of flubbed the line though.
After that clip we heard Sal talking about how he had put them on hold when he heard he got hired and told everyone at work he just got hired at the Stern Show. Then they broke the news to him that he wasn't hired. Sal said he kept calling the show after that and just kept it going and eventually got the job there. He said it's kind of surreal.
We heard Howard talking about how he never thought he'd become part of the show. He said Sal would do all kinds of wild things before he was working for them. He said some of them were really wild and he's just a good guy.
We heard from Tom Chiusano who said Sal had a talent of being a pest and Howard found a way to use that. Tom said he told Howard he could make it work if he wanted to hire the guy. Tom said that he'll take responsibility for that. They went to break after that.
Howard said they hired the guy who will be playing his dad. That guy wanted to meet his real dad. Howard said he called his dad and he loves doing that because his dad always thought he was an idiot. Now he's making a movie. Howard talked about the famous guys that his dad worked with and how none of them ever remembered him.
Howard said his dad always told him that he was never going to make money and he didn't know what he was doing. He said he told his dad that he never made any money either. He said he called his dad and told him about the guy playing him in the movie and how the fans are going to love him. Howard said it's too early to give his name but he kicks ass doing it. Howard said the guy is going to steal the movie.
Jim Forbes said that the movie was a daily discussion on the show. Fans like Ryan Phillippe enjoy things like that. That led into a clip of Ryan talking about how much he likes the infighting on the show. He said that's what makes the show so great. He said he loves the humanity of the show. That led into a clip from the show where Fred Norris was pushed to the brink by a caller who saw him fighting with his wife in the Rainbow Room.
We heard from Fred about that incident too. Fred said that people call in and exaggerate. He said that no one knew at the time that he and his wife had split. It was just 2 days after it had all happened so it was an open wound to him.
Robin said they had a back story for all of that now but not back then. Robin said that no one knew what Fred was going through so they just figured it was a typical couples fight that they'd get over. She said they didn't know that they were teetering on the brink of failure. Howard said he didn't help the situation either. That led into a clip from the show where the caller told them about the Rainbow Room incident. Here's what I had in my archives:
Fred quitting!? 4-23-96. It all started off like any other phone call. A guy calls in and says that he saw Fred and Jackie, with their wives, at The Rainbow Room on Saturday night. The Rainbow Room is some kind of fancy restaurant or dance place in New York. The 4 of them were there to celebrate Jackie and Nancy's anniversary. This caller said that he saw Fred freak out in an argument with his wife Alison. He said that Fred knocked over some drinks and go storming off. Jackie and Nancy didn't see the fight because they were in a different part of the place. Howard was curious about what had gone on so he started asking Fred what had happened. Fred just said that he got in a fight and thought that if he left he'd be better off. Instead of fighting more and more, Fred just left. No one wanted to bring up the subject of the fight, especially Fred. Fred kept saying that Howard was going over the line. He was pushing too far in to his personal life. Howard kept on him about it and Fred just got even more mad. Then Fred's wife called in to yell at the guy that called in and broke the story! Fred even said that today would be his last day because Howard was entertaining this guy on the phone. Howard told him to think about what he was saying. Fred said that he had and today would be his last day. Then Jackie's wife called in to yell at the guy on the phone. What do these people expect when they go out in public? If you're any type of celebrity or semi-celebrity then anything that you do out in public will be publicized. So I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow to see if Fred does show up for work. I'll keep you posted.
During the clip we heard from Fred who was saying that he was being too honest during that discussion and he should have just lied about it. He said he could have avoided the whole thing if he had just denied it. They played more of that 1996 clip after that.
Then we heard from Howard about how upset he was with Jackie for not sharing that story himself. Jackie said it wasn't up to him to share that story. Robin also commented on that and explained what she remembered about it. They played more of the discussion where Fred's wife Alison called in and told Howard her side of the story.
Then we heard from Doug Goodstein who said that he show is never off. He said it's always on and you can run into a fan somewhere and want them to be on the show or something like that. He said that if you're out with people from the show then forget about it. Everyone is always doing practical jokes and goofing on each other. He said it's never off, ever. They played that in the middle of Alison's call to Howard. They got back to that after Doug's comments.
Next up we heard Howard talking about how torn he is to do that to someone like Fred on the air. Gary also talked about how it was way deeper than they knew. Howard said that he couldn't imagine Fred being that upset about it. He said that he heard a replay of that once and he was cringing hearing how mean he could be to someone like Fred. Gary said there were bad vibes all over about that and they avoided playing it on the air for years and now they're playing it again. They got back into the clip of Fred and Alison arguing with Howard about bringing it up on the air.
Next up we heard from Ronnie the Limo Driver about how you have to watch out for Fred when he explodes. He said that he's usually quiet but watch out when he gets upset. Ronnie said he got to that boiling point during that Rainbow Room thing and Fred did the right thing walking out.
Robin also commented on that and said that Fred did walk out of the show. Fred said he has never wanted to quit other than that day. He said that's pretty remarkable. He said most of his days there are great.
Jim Forbes said that Fred really did walk off the show and he missed a movie meeting that day too. Howard said he remembers calling his agent about that and telling him that he had to tell Fred he can't miss things like that. He said that's no bullshit when you miss a meeting for something with a budget like that.
Jim said that Fred returned the next day with a cooler head. Howard said he remembers calling Fred and telling him that they didn't mean anything by it. He said he's not even sure if he actually called or not. They played a clip from the next day when Fred did return. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
Fred is still hanging in there. 4-24-96. After yesterday's mess, Fred is still with the show. After the show yesterday, Fred didn't show up for the daily meeting. Then he canceled a meeting with the Private Parts production people! Howard didn't mind him missing the show meeting but canceling the production meeting really pissed him off. According to Fred, Super agent Don Buchwald calmed him down and talked some sense in to him. Howard replayed the whole argument this morning. Then the guy that started the whole thing was on the phone again. He pretty much apologized for bringing the thing up.
Jim said that 5 months later Fred did meet that guy when he came into the studio. Fred said he never thought he'd have to meet the guy. He came in and told his story and had his 5 minutes and that was that. He said he's glad that was that. Here's an excerpt from my archives from the day Mike the caller visited:
More F-Emmy's! 9/20/96.
Let's get right to the categories:
The winner was Mike the listener who called in and really pissed of Fred by bringing up the fight that he and his wife had while at the Rainbow Room with Jackie and his wife. The guy came into the studio to accept his award. Fred once said that he'd kill the guy if he ever saw him in person. Well there was no killing this morning but Fred is still pissed at the guy. We also found out that Fred hasn't worn his wedding ring since the filming of Private Parts started.
After that clip they went to break.
That led into a clip of Howard talking about how he didn't want to exercise too much because he didn't want to wear himself out. He said he's going to look flabby in the movie because of that. Howard talked about calling up Betty Thomas and asking about what happens if he gets sick and she told him that he can't get sick. He said he had to worry about it after that. He said that in movies if you're the star they give you all kinds of exams for insurance. Howard said he heard Robin and Fred had to get them too. Even Gary and Jackie had to get them. Jackie said he thought it was a mistake. Howard said he'll be glad when this movie is done. Robin said she was roller blading and wondered if she shouldn't be doing that. Howard said she has to avoid that and act like a veal and not go out.
After that we heard Howard talking about how he had to have the real crew in the movie. He said he thought about who would replace him in the movie if he wasn't going to star in it. He said he figured that the movie wouldn't work if it wasn't him. Fred said he's glad that they went with Howard and didn't just Jeff Goldblum. Robin said she wanted to play herself so of course that was going to happen. Fred said he can't imagine anyone else playing him in a movie. He said it's always kind of a letdown when you see some people playing other people. He said he's glad they picked him to play himself.
Howard talked about how odd people would find it if someone else was portraying Robin or Fred. He said it just seemed natural.
That led into a show clip where Artie was asking Howard about doing a table read for the movie and Howard talked about how they videotaped it. Artie had the same experience. Here's an excerpt from my July 16, 2008 archives:
Artie asked Howard if he did a read with the cast of his movie before they made it. Howard said they did that and video taped it. He said that it was actually kind of funny.
Howard said that they had a table read and they had a guy in there that was great during the read but when they did the movie he was awful. He said that they cut his scene out because the guy was so bad. He said that his table read was just great though. He said he felt bad for him and it was kind of sad. He couldn't remember his lines and he only had 3.
After that we heard Jackie talking about the table read and how he had added some lines to his table read script and they never said a word to him after that. He said he did the line from the script the way he should and the producer told him to try it with the line from the table read. They ended up using it in the movie and it was one of the funny lines in the movie.
Next up we heard from Mary McCormack about how she didn't think she could do a Howard Stern movie. She said that she was a little insulted actually. She said she read her scenes and had no interest in doing it. She said she had heard things about Howard that made her assume he wasn't that great. Mary said she wanted to work with Betty Thomas though. Mary said she went in and read for the scene and Betty had her reading lines but she told Betty she just came in there to meet her. Betty told her to go out and learn her lines and not waste her time. Betty told her to listen to the show because it's not what she thought it was.
We heard from Betty Thomas about how Mary was perfect for that role. She said that Howard could have been married to Mary. Betty said they wanted to get someone famous to play the part but when she came in it was like they were nuts. She said that they knew it was the right person.
Mary said she remembers tuning in and hearing Howard doing breast painting around Easter time when she went in to meet Howard for the first time. She said the show wasn't anything like what she expected. She said she wanted the role after that.
Howard said that Mary had come in for a reading and he wasn't even thinking about her. He said he was worried about his acting. He said he was totally absorbed with himself. Howard said she looked the part but he wasn't sure how the audition went. Mary said that she really wanted the role and Howard went back and watched the tape and Howard loved it. Howard said he couldn't believe what she was doing on camera when he saw it. Betty Thomas said she was truly amazed by her. So was Howard. Howard said he didn't even notice she was doing anything until he watched the tape. He said they were looking for a 10 and she was a 15. Betty said that Mary was so good that she got Howard to respond to it. She said it was amazing.
That led into a clip from the show where Howard had a woman on the phone who said she knew that they were going to use Mary McCormack in the movie. Howard told her she was out of her mind.
After that we heard Ivan Reitman talking about how great Mary was in the movie and how she looks the part and has a great voice, a nice smile and all of that. He said he felt that she would be perfect for the role. Ivan said they were concerned about who would play the part.
That led into a clip from the show where Howard took a call from Mary after announcing she was playing his wife in the movie.
In the clip Howard talked about meeting Mary for the first time and rehearsing the scenes with her. He said that she had a sweater on and she's got the best rack he's ever seen. He said she's got a nice flat stomach too. Howard said he thinks they're real too. He said he'll find out.
We heard from Mary again and she said it was very weird that Howard was talking about her all the time on the air. She said it got really weird when a caller said she had done frontal nudity on a TV show. She said she figured that someone was going to call and ask her about that. She said she never did do nudity though. Mary said her mom had heard about it and she was saying she was okay with it if she had done nudity. Mary said everyone embraced her wherever she went. She said she had no idea how many people actually listened. She said she didn't know how welcoming they'd be to her.
Next up we heard Jim talking about Paul Giamatti getting hired to play Pig Vomit in the movie. Then we heard from Paul who said he was very excited to read the script. He said he thought it was one of the best written parts he'd ever done. Ivan Reitman said he was so much better than anyone else that had come in to read. He said he knocked it out of the park when he read for that part.
Betty Thomas said that they were very lucky that Paul came in for that. He said they had Phillip Seymour Hoffman reading for that role too. She said she thinks that they made the right choice. Betty said she put Paul through a lot of auditions. Paul said he hadn't done a lot of movies at that point so they had him coming in a lot.
Howard talked about how Betty had told him about this guy. He said that she wasn't all that happy about the first audition but she knew there was something there.
Jim said that Paul was kept in the dark about how his character was based on Howard's real boss. Then we heard Paul talking about how he didn't know it was based on a real person and he just did that stupid accent and he didn't base it on anything. Howard said he thought Paul actually was the guy. Paul said he couldn't believe he was getting paid to do the movie. He said the part was just an amazing part and he didn't have to do a lot of work to do it. He said he was psyched out of his mind.
That led into a clip of Howard talking to Robin about the cast of the movie and how he's being kept out of the loop pretty much.
Then they got back to Paul talking about rehearsing the movie and how they sat around reading and they got up and slapped each other around in rehearsal. He said it was great and a fun process.
Howard also remembered that read through and talked about how nervous he was. He said he hoped he came off okay in the read through. He said he was trying to figure it all out as he was going along.
Next up we heard from Allison Janney who had a role in the movie. Allison talked about how Betty and Howard must have liked her look and she got that part. She said she was terrified that she got the part. Ivan said that Allison is great and they lucked out with her in the movie too. Ivan said that you believe their characters in the movie and it brought a real basic truth to the sequences. He said it became a very involving film. Allison talked about how her mother was flabbergasted that she was going to be in the movie because he was known for being so ''naughty.''
They played another clip from the show where Howard talked about the movie and how much carrying on there is over at Paramount. He said his agent is involved and Ivan is coming over and all of that. Howard said he has to sit quiet for a little while and they just do his thing on the set. He said he likes to talk to people and he has to cut back on that for the movie. He said he has to just ignore everyone while he's working. He said he can't be the party that everyone wants him to be.
Next up we heard an Entertainment Tonight segment about Howard filming his movie. They had some interviews with Howard and Ivan Reitman.
Howard said he thought making the movie was going to be easy. He said it was way more difficult than he thought. He said he was horrible.
Betty Thomas said that Howard was playing a lot of parts of his life and his first day was tough. She said that Howard got nervous on the set and it was very hard for him to do the radio station stuff. She said that they had to have it set up the way he wanted and he wasn't very comfortable doing it. Ivan said the same thing. He said they didn't begin with the right scenes. He said that they had to learn and Howard had to learn how to focus his performance in this artificial manner. He said when he was working with someone else it was a different story.
Howard talked about the day he shot first and how they wanted it scripted exactly the way it was. He said he didn't prepare for that so he didn't know his lines. Howard said he was told he had to learn his lines and it just wasn't working. He said he was just reading his lines and he had to memorize them. He said he didn't know he had to do that.
They played a clip from the movie where Howard was doing his WWWW morning show and talking to Mama Lookaboobooday.
Next up we heard Howard talking about how he thought he was just going to play himself. Things weren't working and Ivan pulled him to the side and told him he had to get his shit together. Betty said she remembers that too. She said it was harsh but true. Ivan said he remembers pulling him to the side but he doesn't remember telling him to get it together. He said he just gave Howard some advice to get into that natural space he gets into for his radio show. He said all Howard had to do was relax. He said it didn't take long for Howard to get to that point. Maybe the second or third day.
Betty said that Ivan realized he shouldn't be there so he left and Howard relaxed after that. Betty said that started to make it happen. Howard said he had an Epiphany after Ivan left and he was able to get into it. He said he thought he could ad-lib it but he was told he had to do it word for word. Betty said he finally got it down and they did find a way for Howard to do it. She said she was able to make Howard better by editing.
Howard said he sat himself down and told himself he had to make it work. He said he watched an interview with Meryl Streep where she talked about acting and that helped. He also said he read about Michael Cain where he talked about acting. That all helped him out.
That led into a clip of Howard playing Michael Cain audio clips where he talks about acting and showing the host how his eyes work. Howard said that Betty told him he can't wear shades because the acting is all in the eyes. Howard played more of the Cain clip and goofed on the guy for a short time talking about how odd his eyes look. He said he looks kind of like a frog. Howard said that he likes to look people in the eye and he rarely blinks. Howard said that he barely blinks at all. He said that Gary was blinking like 900 times. Howard played more of the Michael Cain clip and goofed on that for a few more minutes.
Next up we heard Howard talking about how you only shoot about half a page a day and it can be a lot to remember. He said that they had to do things exactly the way they were on the page. He said he came to love the process.
Jim Forbes said Howard did appear in ''Ryder P.I.'' in the 1980s. Howard said that was very embarrassing to him. He said that someone asked him to take a part in the movie and he said he'd do anything. He said he shouldn't have been doing stuff like that back then. He said the movie was dumb and his character was dumb. He said he tried to do it but he shouldn't have been involved. Howard said he tried it and it was a stupid film he shouldn't have been in.
Fred also talked about that movie and said that it was at a time when Howard wanted to be in a movie and it just came up. Fred said he's been in a lot of movies like that himself. Fred said he just wanted to get some experience in them. He said he hasn't seen Howard's performance in that movie so he can't comment on it. Howard said in radio you can start on your own but in film you're at the mercy of the script and the team. He said that this wasn't a real movie. It was just a bunch of people getting together to make a movie.
They played a clip from ''Ryder P.I.'' where Howard was a news reporter who was upset that he's the only anchor who works without a teleprompter and freaks out throwing stuff around.
Jim Forbes said that Ivan Reitman never saw that movie. Ivan said Howard acts on radio every day and he entertains people with it for 4 hours a day. He said he's creating this script as he goes along. Ivan said he didn't think that it would be out of line for him to do something like this.
Howard said he loved acting by the end of the process. He wanted to do another movie and he hasn't had one come up since. Howard said he loved acting but the first couple of days were really rough.
That led into a clip from the show where Howard said he would win an Academy Award. He said that he will win and so will Betty Thomas for directing. Howard said if he doesn't win then he will have been robbed.
They wrapped up today's History of Howard Stern around 10:40am.
Howard asked when Robin is working with him on the movie. Robin said she's not sure if she's ever going to. Howard talked about the stuff he had to do for the movie. He said that he and Fred had shot a scene together and he thinks that she'll like it.
Howard said he thinks that Ralph and Grillo might have seen that scene. Ralph came in and said that it was very funny. He said it was funny even after the 8 times they shot it. Howard said they had problems with about half of the shots they did. He said they run out of film or a light blows and it screws up the scene. He filled Robin in about that and said that he went to bed after all of that.
Howard told Robin that he would go totally blank and forget about what he was doing. He said he had to forget about going home to see the kids and all of that. He said that's the complete opposite of what he's supposed to do. He said crap starts coming out of his mouth and he has no idea what he's doing. He said it makes no sense. He said they yelled cut at one point and they didn't know that he was acting. He said it took them a while to figure it out.
Ralph said Fred was cracking him up in the scene too. Howard said that's really the way Fred was back then too. He said that Fred doesn't even realize it. He said that Fred has to keep doing that because it's perfect. Grillo came in and said that they keep getting better and better as they go on. That led to Fred doing his impression of Grillo.
Howard said Grillo works on the movie so he asked Ralph what he does. Ralph told him that Grillo tells everyone to be quiet on the set and then hits a switch so a bell goes off. Grillo said that's not the only thing he does. He said that's just part of his job. Howard said it's funny when you hear Grillo telling everyone to be ''quied'' on the set. They goofed on him about that for a short time.
Howard told Robin about how great the food is there too. He said that Grillo is in charge of all of that for him as well.
After that we heard from current day Howard who was talking about how they were working on all cylinders back then. Robin said that they were coming into the move the same way they came into Howard's life. She said that they had a certain amount of energy that Betty wanted to see in the scenes so she did it in a specific way. Betty Thomas also talked about how she did that on purpose. She said that she wanted to start with Howard and build with everyone, including Jackie. She said she knew it would be tough with everyone because no had much experience acting. Robin said she think she underestimated herself and everyone did that. She said she had done some acting and Fred did some and they weren't as green as they implied they were.
Betty said she's not sure how they can talk for 4 hours on the show and then come and do the movie for another 8. She said that Robin had some problems at first getting comfortable. She said that she kind of knew how to act but it was very strange for her.
That led into another show clip where Howard was talking about how great Fred is in the movie and how he's going to be pissed if he wins an Academy Award.
After that we heard Fred talking about how he's done other movies and how low tech they were. He said that the food on those movies was dreadful and they didn't have the technical know how like they do on a professional movie like Private Parts. He said they had everything that you wanted or needed right there for you. Fred said he can see how you can be seduced into doing a movie when you have all of that.
Robin said that the move making is very intoxicating because there are so many people there to help you out. She said that there are creative people everywhere you look. She said it's a great place to be.
Jackie Martling said that he had everything he needed there and it was a real movie. He said he really enjoyed the whole process as well. He said that it was old hat to everyone else by the time he got there. He said it was a phenomenal experience.
Robin talked about how much scrutiny there is and how intimidating it was to her. Jackie said it was very intimidating to him too. He talked about how it all works and how easy it is to screw up.
Howard also talked about how freaked out he was when he got there. He said that he didn't know he had to do things 19 times. Howard said he had to go through make up for 4 hours and then do the scene. He had already done 4 hours of radio that morning and then did make up. He said he was like a dancing monkey. Howard said they'd tell him to shoot and then he'd riff all over the place and they'd tell him to do it like the script said. He said he eventually got into it and it all started to change. He said he started to understand the process and then he loved it.
Robin talked about how unglamorous things can be on the set. She said that they fuss over you all day but they do the blocking of the set and they have to rehearse and do all of that. Then they tell you to go away to your trailer. She said they'd all go off and do that and watch DVDs or whatever. Robin said that there's a lot of down time there. She said they're working continually on the set but the actors come and go constantly.
Betty said that Robin and Fred were very talkative and that's pretty amazing considering that they just did the radio show.
That led into another old show clip where Howard talked about how he was drinking and smoking pot on the set of the movie. Howard also talked about how great Mary McCormack is on the set. He said that she's really good. He said that her boyfriend may not be allowed on the set. He said that Ivan told him that he has a lot of chemistry with her. Howard said she looks good but he doesn't. He said it almost convinces other women that he's good looking when he's with her.
After that we heard from Ronnie the Limo Driver about how interesting that time was. He said that Howard was coming out on the set with different wigs and stuff. Ralph also commented on how fun and interesting it was to be on the set there. He said Howard was on the radio talking about it all the time too.
Howard's sister Ellen also talked about going to the set and getting to see the sets. She said he was very proud. She said he had an apartment there a Silvercup Studios. She said it was great too. Ellen said that they got to see them work on the movie and she loved being there.
Ben and Ray Stern also talked about going to see the movie being made. Ben said that it was a nice experience. Ray said that Howard told her that he didn't catch on in the beginning but he eventually did and he was enjoying it. She thought that he nailed it too.
Ronnie talked about the apartment they built for Howard up there. He had this guy, Eli Roth, who was his intern who sat outside his door at night to help him out if he needed anything. They had Eli talking about that too. Eli said Howard was so friendly and cool to him. He said he used to go into the room to clean up and he'd see his magazines and movies that he was watching.
Howard talked about that apartment he was staying in and how it became a second home to him. Howard said it was great, like his own bachelor pad.
That led into another old show clip where Howard talked about his apartment and what that's like. He said that the only problem he has is making a doody. He said if you're on location you have to go somewhere to sit and they have these tiny bathrooms. Howard said the room is too small and he can't spread his knees like he's supposed to. He said that the toilet is like an airplane toilet. Howard said he was thinking about how he has to move his bowels all day long. He said he was wearing a thong all day too so he had to think about what to do if he got remnants on it. He said he asked the guy what to do. He said the guy told him to put tissues up his butt like a ''Manpon'' so he wouldn't get any remnants on the thong. He said he was all worried about that. Howard said he went to the bathroom and gave birth. He said he wasn't able to wipe right because it's so tight in the room. Howard said it was just a mess. He had a shower in there but it was so small that he can't use that. He said it was an upsetting day for him.
Howard said he was afraid of getting dingleberries so he didn't do the Manpon thing. Howard said he had a bunch of guys in the room with him and he was wearing this outfit that made him look like a Ken doll. Howard said he told the guy who cleans his stuff that he didn't think he had any accidents back there. Howard said this movie stuff is weird. Jackie said that there's going to be residue back there no matter what. He said you can't avoid it. Robin said they asked for her panty hose back but asking for a thong back is weird.
After that we heard from Steve Grillo who talked about how Howard eventually got very comfortable on the set. He said it was like a little family on the set. Grillo said that he knows people who thought that was the best set to work on.
Paul Giamatti talked about how amazed he was with Howard. He said he was very nice and open. He said they talked all the time and Howard was really good at acting. He said he felt very comfortable with him. He said Howard was just incredibly nice and the friendliest guy.
Allison Janney also talked about what a great guy Howard was. She said that he was interested in who she was and she felt that was remarkable.
Mary McCormack also said that they had some great actors on the movie and she knew that Betty was talented. She said that she was just trying to not mess up because it was a big part for her. Fred said that Betty was the right person for the job.
We heard from Howard about Betty too. He said she had the right comic sensibility and he knew that she should be the person.
Betty said that Ivan wanted a woman to direct and he thought that would help Howard out on the set. She said that she thinks he was right.
We heard from Amber Smith about Betty as the director as well. She said that Betty was the right person for the job. Don Buchwald also talked about the great experience that Howard had on the set too. Paul Giamatti said they really worked on stuff and they didn't fuck around on the set. He said that she was one of the best directors he's ever worked with. He said he hasn't had as much fun as he did on that set either. Mary McCormack said that Betty told Howard one day that she had to take a day off and Howard looked at her in shock. It was Betty trying to get a reaction out of him and that's what she told him she wanted in the scene. She said it was a great way of directing.
We heard from Howard about how great Betty was as the director and how he would work with her to come up with different ways of doing a scene.
That led into an old show clip where Howard was talking about his penis and how he's been feeling bigger down there. He said it might just be confidence. He said that his penis actually just pointed down for the first time. He said it's usually like a button. Howard said maybe it's the rough sex he's been having by himself over there. Howard said it took him 45 minutes to finish himself because he's so drained. Howard said he has to get up and work the next morning so he has to get it done.
Howard said he had to do a fitting the other day and they made him put on some silk panties and he was feeling that he was bigger down there than usual. Howard said he pulled off his underwear and then saw he was back to his normal size. All week it had been fine but then it was like a button again. He said he thinks that he was just lucky for a few days.
Jim Forbes said that one of the most memorable days was the day Jenna Jameson got naked on the set. Steve Grillo talked about that day and how Jenna casually just walked around naked on the set of the movie. Betty Thomas said that she never put a robe on and she would just walk around nude. Paul Giamatti said he found that very funny. Robin said she would walk around naked in heels and nothing but heels. Paul said it was really fuckin' funny to him. Betty said that the caterer came up to her and said it was unsanitary and they couldn't have that. Betty said someone had to tell her that she had to have something on when she leaned over the food. Grillo said that the world would stand still when she'd do that.
Robin said Jenna was very comfortable waling around naked. Jackie said that she was walking around with her robe open and all of the guys there were drooling over her. Fred said that they were used to seeing things like that but not everyone on the set was used to it. Fred said he got a kick out of seeing everyone's reactions to her.
Eli Roth said that Jenna sat on an apple box and the grips saved it and turned it into a shrine to her. He said that no one else was allowed to touch it. Eli said that Jenna visited Howard's trailer naked but he didn't touch her.
That led to a clip of Howard's show where he spoke to Jenna. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
Jenna Jameson Calls In. 8/7/03. 7:05am
Howard replayed the clips they played yesterday. Jenna listened in as Howard played the clips. In the clips she talks about her brother helping her get into the wet t-shirt contest, the braces being taken off with pliers and more. Jenna said she told her brother that she had a modeling gig at the time so that's why he helped her take the braces off. Howard had Jenna get on a better phone at this point because her headset sounded so crappy. He then played another clip from the special where Jenna talks about getting into drugs. She explains her use of speed and how messed up she ended up getting. She started out doing a line a day but it quickly went to 5 lines a day and then she started smoking it. She said she couldn't eat and she was down to only 80 pounds. Her boyfriend ended up leaving her and that's when she decided to get help from her father. Howard said these tapes made Jenna sound like the hottest thing. She goes on to talk about how her father helped her out during the drug use time. She ends up crying at one point. Howard and Artie were goofing on the clips a little bit but Jenna was laughing along with them.
Howard told Jenna it was quite a story and he'd be watching the special on Sunday night. He also played the clip where Jenna talks about how important his show was to her career. She appeared on his show for the first time in December of 1995. A short time after that Howard had he audition for his ''Private Parts'' movie. Howard said that Jenna was the best person for the part and she came through in the audition. He said they auditioned a bunch of women and she was the one who nailed it. Gary came in a short time later and asked Jenna if she ever thought about banging Howard. She said ''Absolutely'' and told Howard that she thought about that the day she was in his trailer on the set of ''Private Parts.'' She said she was uncomfortable at the time. Howard said he was the same way and isn't good being one on one with someone like that. She said she's the same way and she's actually very shy.
Howard was surprised to hear that Jenna would have messed around with him in the trailer. She said she's pretty sure she would have done something with him. Howard said he doesn't need her giggling at him when he pulls down his pants. Jenna said she thinks that if a guy says he's small, it actually means he's pretty big. Howard said his girlfriend tells him he's big. He doesn't know why that is though.
After that clip we heard from Ivan Reitman about how great Howard was doing on the set of the movie and how they had something very funny there. They played another show clip where Howard talked about how on top of things Ivan was. They went to break after that.
The Name Game. 5-23-96. Early this morning a caller asked Howard what his middle name was. Of course this led to finding out everyone's middle name. Howard's middle name is Allan. Jackie is Cogar or something like that and Gary's is Patrick. Now comes the really weird story. Howard asked Fred what his middle name was. He told Howard that it's Fred. ''...so it's Fred Fred?'' Howard said to Fred. Nope not quite. Fred explained that his middle name used to be Leo up until about 2 years ago when he legally changed his name to Eric Fred Norris. Howard questioned him as to why he didn't just change the middle name. He said that he has never really liked the name Fred and he liked the way Eric looked on a credit card(he was kidding). Howard wanted to know if Fred wanted to be called Eric from now on. Fred doesn't think that will happen so for now it's still Fred. But for the rest of the morning Howard tried to call him Eric.
After that clip we heard Howard talking about how strange that was. Fred also talked about the name change and he didn't like that his name was Fred. He said he had a conversation with his mom about his name and his mom said that she wanted to name him Eric but his father was against it. Fred said it made for good comedy on the show but he had his reasons for changing it. Fred said it wasn't like when Robin wanted to be known as Robin Ophelia. He said that he had personal reasons and he didn't demand that everyone call him Eric.
That led into another show clip where Howard talked about Fred's name change. He said they had a big summit conference in the bathroom. They spent a few more minutes talking to Fred about that.
After that we heard current day Howard talking about how mind boggling that whole thing was. He said it made for great radio though. He said it was one of those great Fred moments on the show.
Jackie Martling said that it was such a Fred thing and it's the kind of thing that can come back and haunt you. Jackie said that they had to have a field day with it. He said that if he were him he would have just taken his lumps and asked to be known as Eric. Jackie didn't even remember how it all came out. He said he really loves Fred though.
They played another show clip where Robin was reading faxes about Fred's name change. She read through a bunch of them and one of them was mine.... From my 1996 archives: ''I figured that it was just a Martian tradition to change names every 40 years or so. So I faxed a little letter in and Robin read it on the air along with a bunch of others. It went something like this: Howard, What Eric (Fred) isn't telling you about his name change is that it's a Martian tradition! Every 40 years or so Martians are supposed to rotate names...'' Howard and Robin spent a few minutes talking about those faxes.
In the clip Riley didn't remember that he had called them the day before telling them about his alien abduction. Gary said that he called him and he said he'd call him back the next day. Riley then went on to tell Howard about his alien experiences and Howard muted his voice so they could listen into Riley's ramblings. They goofed on him as he was going on and on about his abduction. Howard checked in once in a while just to rev Riley up to keep him talking.
Howard figured that Riley was on disability. He asked Riley how he makes a living. Riley said that he works. He said he does carpentry and odd jobs. He said he used to be a bare knuckle fighter.
Riley started to go on and on about the aliens again and told Howard about where they're located and how they get around. Howard just laughed. He muted his voice again so Riley couldn't hear him.
Howard asked Riley what the aliens look like and Riley gave him a detailed description. Howard said this guy can go on and on forever. Howard wondered if he should have Riley come into the studio. He wasn't sure he wanted to do that. Riley asked if he loves him or not. Howard did seem to love his laugh and his way of speaking. Howard asked Riley about the time he spent in jail. Riley said he was in for about 12 months. Riley said he never killed anyone.
After that clip we heard from Jerry O'Connell who did an impression of Riley. Jerry said he has a friend who is a fan of the show, Jerry Miner, who loves Riley too. He said that he's classic and amazing.
Ralph Cirella also talked about how great Riley is and how he's become a character and a voice. He said he doesn't even care what he has to say, it's all about his voice. Ralph said he felt the same about Richard Christy because he had that voice that he has.
Robin said it was surprising to see Riley in the flesh. She said that he showed up with the grey hair and the Indian head band and all of that. She said that you think something happened to him but you're not sure what it was.
Mike Gange also talked about the first time Riley came on the show and how he was sitting in the green room being very angry. He's still very angry to this day. Mike said that he was asking him questions off the air and Riley was calling him an idiot. He said that he thinks he was really pissed that Howard didn't get to him right away. He may have sat in the green room for like a half hour and he took it out on him and on Gary and anyone else around. That led to them playing a clip from that first visit. Here's my write up from that day:
Riley the UFO guy comes in. 7/31/96.
This guy was amazing. He believes his own stories so much that he almost convinced me that aliens are living among us. This guy, Riley, called in recently babbling on and on about aliens and UFO's. Howard was interested in seeing this guy so he invited him down to the studio. What a great idea... Riley came in and didn't shut up for about a half an hour! He was like the Energizer Bunny of wacko's. He just kept talking and talking and talking. But it was really entertaining. The way he talked was mesmerizing. Everything he said sounded almost legitimate. But when you find out that he's written a book about his experiences with these aliens you can see that he's just a good story teller. The book, The Coming of Tan, is available by calling 609-397-8446. Riley's last name just happens to be Martin...very close to Martian...hmmmm. Riley says that the aliens came here 42,000 years ago and mated with humans. Apparently there are millions of alien descendants walking this planet we call Earth...according to Riley of course. Riley also says that the aliens are going to come here in 15 years to save any humans that want to be saved from our dying planet. He said that it's up to each individual whether or not they go with the aliens. Riley claims that NASA and the Japanese have come to Riley about his book. These aliens are from the planet Biavi (bee ah' vee) and they are known as Biavians by Riley. Riley went in to details about their propulsion system and how far away the planet is etc. What an imagination this guy has. In 1964 Riley had sex with one of these aliens and he's got about 6 alien children...wow. Riley has a few followers also. Two of them were with him at the studio along with the publisher of his book. If you want to see what one of these Biavians looks like just get the latest issue of Penthouse Magazine. Penthouse has photos of aliens in it and Riley said that they are Biavian!
New Crackhead Bob Bit. 07/23/1996. 6:00am
Howard said he had some funny stuff to play this morning. He said they had a new commercial that they'd like to hear. He played the commercial and it was a commercial for Crackhead Bob as the new front man for Van Halen. They had Bob singing Van Halen songs in a way that they were almost unintelligible.
Howard and Robin were laughing their asses off at the bit. They talked about how funny Crackhead Bob's speech is and how he starts off almost every word with the letter D. Howard said he saw Crackhead Bob down there yesterday and he looked like Curly from the Three Stooges with his head shaved.
After that clip we heard from Fred about that bit and how they came up with Bob as the replacement singer for Van Halen. Fred said things weren't that easy back then to edit. He said they had to get Bob to sing to the music and how hard it was for Scott the Engineer to do that.
We heard from Scott about how hard that bit was to put together. He said they got Bob in the studio and fed him like one word at a time. He said they had to add the singing to the music bed so it was a little tedious but it worked.
That led into another show clip where Howard played ''The Making Of The Crackhead Bob Song.'' Here's an excerpt from my archives:
The Making Of The Crackhead Bob Bit. 07/23/1996. 6:55am
Howard said that he and Robin are going to be working on the movie together today. He said that they're doing a scene. Then he made a comment about the song parody where the guy talks about Robin's father and his 'am 'ands and stuff like that. Fred played the song parody after that and got some laughs out of everyone.
Howard replayed the Crackhead Bob commercial that he played at the start of the show. Howard said that might be the funniest thing he's ever heard. He said that they're going to make something up for the E! show based on the song.
Howard asked Fred if he had the ''making of'' clips from that Crackhead Bob thing. They had it ready but Howard ended up talking about making his movie and how they shot stuff for a behind the scenes type of thing for that. He said that someone from Entertainment Tonight came down and interviewed him for that show. He said that she was interviewing him and he was telling her about the love scene that he did with his movie wife. He said that he tried to slip her the tongue during that scene. He said that they don't really kiss too much during rehearsals though.
Robin said that Howard tried to do that during a reading of the script one time and Mary had to tell him they don't do that.
Howard said that this woman from Entertainment Tonight was doing the interview so he asked her if she wanted to do a love scene with him. She agreed to do it so Howard moved in and tried to slip her the tongue. He said that she was married and they ended up putting a big heart over their kiss so no one could see it. He thinks that she did that to keep her husband from seeing the kiss.
Howard played some clips from the making of this Crackhead Bob song. He had some audio of Bob asking what was going on and what they were doing. Fred was explaining to Bob what the bit was about and Bob laughed when he heard the idea.
Fred was being very calm with Bob and trying to make him comfortable with the whole thing. Howard said that was Fred's calm, mental patient voice. Howard said that's the voice you have to use when you talk to Fred so you don't upset him.
In the recording session you can hear Bob singing and starting off just about every word with the letter D. The guys were trying to help Bob out with the song since he apparently can't read. Bob didn't tell them that he can't read and Fred said that he felt weird asking him if he knew how to read. Jackie said that Bob said that it would help if they blew up the letters on the page so he could read them but they realized that he was just saying ''oh yeah'' to everything they asked him.
Howard played some more of the audio where Bob was trying to sing the Van Halen songs and didn't get any of the lyrics right. Jackie said that Bob came close to getting Bob to sing along with himself but they weren't recording at the time. They tried to get him to do it again but they were never able to get him to repeat what he did that one time.
Crackhead Bob kept trying to get the lines down but he was wrong every time and that's why the bit worked. Howard put the word out there for kids not to do crack after hearing this stuff. Bob seemed to think that he was saying the lines even though he was just singing gibberish. Howard joked that David Lee Roth had to be taught the songs the same way.
Howard said that they have a guy on the phone who claimed to be on this Special K cat tranquilizer stuff. He wanted to hear what that sounds like so he got him on the line. The guy said that it was pretty wild stuff. He said that it really just messes you up really bad. He said he had some other guys there with him so he put one of them on the phone. The guy said that he snorted some of that stuff. Howard wanted to hear the other guy because they sounded very similar. He bailed out on the call saying that it wasn't fun to talk to someone who's high when you're not.
Howard said he took a horse tranquilizer one time to see what that was like. Jackie said he tried that one time and it just slowed him down. Howard said he tried it in college. He said that he never thought it through at the time. He said that he had sex with a lot of weird women when he was on that stuff, that's all he knows. He said that you don't even think about how the chicks look when you're on that stuff.
Howard got back to the Crackhead Bob clips and played through more of that stuff. Fred kept having Bob singing the stuff over and over again trying to get him to get the lines down right. Howard said it was kind of a waste of time because he wasn't going to get them right at any point.
At one point Jackie said that he was about to lose it because Bob was having so much trouble with the lines they were reading to him. Jackie almost forgot what he was doing at that point. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
After that we heard Howard talking about shooting that scene with AC/DC and how they shot 4 hours of film for a 1 minute scene in the movie. Howard took a call from a guy who was there on the set and said he had a great time. He said everyone was really into the scene. He said it was wild. Howard said it really was great. Howard said the band was great and they did a couple of songs for the fans.
After that we heard Jackie talking about how great it was to have 5,000 people out there and doing this scene with them for the movie. Jackie said it was chilling hearing the crowd and AC/DC. Fred also said that could have been a TV special on its own. He said it's too bad he's thinking about this so many years later. They should have shot that concert as a TV special.
Betty Thomas talked about how they were afraid that the crowd was going to leave after a few hours. She said they never did have quite enough people so they had to add some digitally. She said they had about 3,500 and they needed another 1000.
Howard talked about how that band was great for the movie and he was always a fan. He said they have a great sense of humor and it was great having them on the set.
We heard from Brian Johnson about what it was like playing there in Bryant Park for the fans. He said it made them feel special. Brian said that Howard was rocking with them and he's cool. Crazy cool but cool.
That led into another clip from the show where Howard talked about what it was like performing up on stage with those guys. He said he looked like Gulliver up there on stage with the band. He said he's so much taller than them.
Howard had a caller on the line who was asking what was up with Jackie because no one could get his attention. Howard goofed on Jackie about that for a minute doing his impression of him. Howard said Gary came down and told him about the joke Jackie told on stage that was so inappropriate. Jackie said they yelled at him to tell jokes all day and when he finally did he was asked to tell the crowd to get off their chairs. Gary said there was a 10 year old in the front row and Jackie's joke was about how a woman's private parts look like a bulldog eating mayonnaise after having sex.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that the people on the set were wonderful that day except for Jackie. She said that everyone else was very nice to her. She said she brought her Private Parts book with her and she had everyone but Jackie sign it. She said Jackie wouldn't even look at her when she called his name. Jackie said that's so unfair. He said she's lying about that. She insisted that he wasn't nice to her that day. She said her husband bought his CD and that night they threw it in the garbage. Howard said he threw Jackie's CDs out that night too.
Hank the drunken, angry midget. 8/16/96.
Early this morning when the crew were coming in to the building they noticed a drunk midget saying that he was going to be on the show. Of course a midget is welcome anytime on the show so he was ushered on. Hank, who doesn't like to be called a midget, came in really drunk and angry. Hank said that calling midgets 'midgets' is like calling them the N-word. So Hank prefers to be called a dwarf...please remember that! So anyway the little midget was barely able to speak. Howard was loving it. Hank said that he hates Jews, Catholics, Blacks and Cops. Howard hung with Hank for a while and Hank even ended up showing Howard the size of his penis. Howard was curious so he asked him to pull it out. Hank didn't even hesitate to pull down his pants and yank it out. Howard was pretty surprised. Hank said that he's been drinking since he was 8 years old! I don't think that he's stopped since! He was sloshed. At one point a black woman called in and said that she'd like to go out with this little man even though he hates all these people. She said that she likes people that hate other people and she's really curious to go out with him. Howard invited her down and off she went. Later in the show she came down to the studio. Howard said that Ralph brought in a Superman costume for Hank to wear. When Hank came into the studio he wasn't wearing the costume. Howard asked Ralph why he wasn't wearing it. Ralph said that he didn't want to go back and ask the dwarf if he wanted to wear a costume. Howard called Ralph a freak and a retard and kicked him out of the studio. Howard also said that Ralph no longer does his hair...I did not know that. So this woman, D(ebra). Ann, came in and Howard said that she was really cute! As soon as she walked in Hank had his hand on her ass! She says that she's a psychology major and she just wanted to meet this angry little man. D. Ann said that her 8 year old daughter wants to beat up Hank. Hank asked why and D. Ann said ''because she doesn't like midgets...''. Gary came in and said that the plan for these two was a carriage ride around Central Park and maybe lunch if D. Ann sticks around. So the two of them left the studio. When Howard and Robin started the news with Gilbert Gottfried, Howard asked Gilbert if he wanted to see Hank in his Superman Costume. Of course Gilbert couldn't refuse so in came Superman. Hank was going to be wearing the costume for his carriage ride. What a site that must have been. Even later in the show Gary came in and said that Hank was running around the station in his costume, barefoot, like a little kid. This should make some good E! shows.
During that segment we heard from Howard about how great people like that are on the show. He said that there are some theatrics involved but people like Hank are real people. He said that a star was born when he was on the show.
We heard from Doug Goodstein as well. Doug eventually became his manager. Doug said they knew they had a superstar that day. He said he became a legend on the show. Robin also talked about how great he was on the show. Doug talked about how he was a home run. They got back to more of the Hank interview after playing those clips.
After playing some more of that we heard from one of the E! show producers who talked about how Great Hank was on TV. Robin also talked about how David Blaine was doing one of his stunts and Hank went down to visit. They put Hank in a bunny suit and sent him down there. Later on David did the show and he thought he was hallucinating that day.
Jackie said he loved Hank. He said he was his pal and he used to write notes for Howard to read and one of them was about Hank taking a breathalyzer in a pink bunny suit. He said he kept that above his desk because it said so much about Hank. Jackie said Hank was a good hearted guy and he couldn't not laugh when he'd come in. He said it doesn't get any better than that. They got back to playing more of Hank's first visit to the show after that.
Next up we heard from Richie Wilson who said he used to log Hank tapes. He said he was out doing all kinds of shoots and he got to log them all. He said it was like Christmas. He said he was really happy whenever a tape would show up.
Ronnie the Limo Driver said he loved Hank but they had their moments. He said he could be like a smaller version of Jeff the Drunk.
Gary said that they came up with an idea to get Hank voted in as the most Beautiful Person for People Magazine. Doug Goodstein said Hank was actually winning and he made it to the top of the poll. Gary said they had him as the online winner or something like that. That led into another clip where Howard called Hank to give him the good news about the poll.
In the clip Howard talked to Hank about his winning the People magazine poll and Hank just didn't seem to care. They ended up talking to him about his drinking. Howard told Hank he just wanted to tell him he's the most beautiful person. he's beating out Leonardo DiCaprio. Hank said he had never heard of him.
After that we heard from Doug Goodstein who said that they got a lot of gigs from that. He said that Hank got booked to do shows and Hank didn't know what to do so he helped him out. He said he did that for 3 or 4 years until Hank died.
Robin talked about how Hank got a life that he could enjoy from that stardom. Robin said that Doug took very good care of him and made sure he got to where he had to get. Doug said he never wanted to be a manager for angry drunken dwarves but he never did think it was weird. He said they were able to make him money beyond belief. He almost made 6 figured one year. He said he always felt good about helping him out. Doug said Hank loved going out and meeting the fans. It was a fun experience and Hank was a good guy.
Next up we heard from Howie Mandel who said that these people are enjoying themselves so it's not really exploitive or anything. That led into a show clip where Howie visited the show when Hank was in studio. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
Hank The Angry, Drunken Dwarf & Howie Mandel. 8/5/99. 8:25am
Hank the dwarf made his return to the Stern show this morning. He's been resting since suffering a couple of seizures while doing an appearance in San Jose, California a couple months back. He had the seizures because he wasn't able to drink his usual amount of alcohol that day. Today he came in and both Howard and Robin said he looked better than he has in the past. He's back to drinking again though. He'd stopped for a couple of weeks but it didn't last long. He was carrying his green 7-Up bottle full of vodka this morning. He told Howard he started drinking at 6:30 this morning. Hank said that the drugs they gave him in the hospital made him feel like he was on acid so he just started drinking again. Howard had video of Hank's seizure that he played but there wasn't much to see. At one point in the tape there's someone who looks like a doctor over him. It turns out that it was Crackhead Bob. Howard asked Hank if he saw God when he almost died. Hank said he doesn't believe in God, he believes in Budweiser. Howie Mandel was waiting in the green room to come on so Howard had him come in while Hank was still there.
Howie had already met Hank out in the green room earlier in the morning. Hank is a big fan of Howie's and tried to shake his hand. Howie is very germ-phobic so he refused the hand shake because Hank isn't the cleanest looking person. Howie had a daytime TV show that just recently got canceled so Howard spent most of the interview talking about that. Howard said that one reason the show may have failed was the fact that Howie isn't ''..a big fat broad'' like Rosie O'Donnell, Roseanne, Oprah, Mother Love, Rikki Lake or Maurey Povich... That's right, Maurey. Robin said that Howie appeared uncomfortable doing the show and that may have had something to do with it. Howie said he kind of knew things weren't going well with the ratings. They tried changing his set around but that didn't help it out. The day he was fired was ''Bring Your Daughter to Work Day'' and his daughter was in his office when he got the bad news. Howie said that next year he'll be bringing his daughter to ''Look For Work Day.'' Howie said he did everything that the Paramount people told him to do like get rid of his facial hair and earrings. Phone callers told Howie that he was too nice on his show. He needed to be more like he is when he does his stand-up comedy. Howard told Howie that Hank had more plugs than he did so perhaps he was bringing him down. Hank was defending Howie when Howard would take negative phone calls. Hank was on a roll yelling at some of the guys telling them how their mothers are whores and how ugly they are. There were a couple of women who said they couldn't believe his show was canceled. One caller, who calls in frequently as Robert DeNiro, had Hank so confused that he was apologizing and yelling at the guy at the same time. Hank didn't believe it was DeNiro but he was afraid that if it was actually him he might be offending him. Then another guy called in as Joe Pesci and Hank was doing the same thing. He thought it could be him so he complimented him and yelled at him at the same time.
They went to break after that segment.
After that clip we heard from Gary and Jackie about the peeing in the diaper bit they did. Gary was the first one to go. Jackie said they could tell he went by the look on his face. That all led into the show clip where they peed into the diapers. Here's my write up from that day:
Peeing in a diaper...continued. 8/23/96.
Yesterday Howard somehow got the notion to pee in an adult diaper. He didn't get to it yesterday but early this morning Gary brought in some Depends adult diapers for everyone to pee in. When Gary opened the package he noticed that there was only one strap to hold up the diaper. So he had to send Grillo out to get a package for each person that was going to test out the things. So after a while Howard came back and said that they all had on a different type of diaper. The other one's were for ''spotting'' not for pissing yourself totally. So now they had on Genovese brand diapers. Jackie, Gary and Howard all had on these adult diapers. I don't know about Fred (Eric). Gary was the first to wet himself. He just stood there with a funny look on his face wetting his diaper while Jackie cackled. Jackie said that he could see a movement in Gary's diaper when he let loose. When he was done he went running off to the bathroom to clean himself up. Once he was out of the room Fred said that he could smell Gary's stinky pee. Howard said that he probably wouldn't be able to wet himself because he felt so dirty doing it. Eventually Jackie also let loose in his diaper. He said it felt like he was going on forever and he was filling up the diaper. Gary told Jackie that he's got more room in the diaper than he thinks. Jackie actually had to stop himself from peeing because of it. Howard never did piss himself. Too shy I guess.
After that we heard from Richard Christy who had entered that contest. Richard said it's amazing that the fans get to be part of the show like that. He said that's what's so awesome about the show. Richard said it's so interactive and the fans can contribute. After that they played more of the audio of Howard playing some of the entries in the contest. One of them was Richard's entry.
Howard had a checklist of what to include in the songs. He ran down that list and it was all about Robin's life.
Next up we heard Scott the Engineer talking about how he remembered getting the winning entry which was by Ham Hands Bill. Scott said he had no writing or singing skills but that's what Howard looks for. He said that the fancy parodies don't win. Gary also talked about Bill winning and how he just talked over her theme song. Gary said he had some interns helping him back then and they told him that they thought they had found the winner. He didn't get it until he heard it a few times.
That led into more show audio where Howard played some of the entries and played that infamous Ham Hands Bill song. Howard said that he had to meet that guy as soon as he heard it. Robin wasn't diggin' the song. Howard and the guys loved it. Howard said it was the best entry and they had to look no further. He said he had to meet the guy and see him on the Kawasaki Jetski they were giving away. Howard said the guy's name was Bill.
Next up we heard Fred talking about how a lot of the songs were about Robin's encounter with her father. He said that you read that book and your jaw drops. He said it's not really clear what happened there. Fred said you think it's not going to be funny but then Bill did it. He said that it was funny when he did it in that voice. He said half of you is in shock and the other half is convulsing in laughter. Fred said it was one of the funniest things you've ever heard in your life.
Robin said it was shocking to hear Bill the first time. She said she met him and he did it live and it was just too funny to be upset about. She said she's always loved Ham Hands Bill or 'am 'ands Bill. That led into the segment where Howard had Bill come in live to perform his song. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
Bill, the winner of Robin's theme song contest, comes in. 5-8-96. Yesterday this guy won a Kawasaki Jet Ski in the Robin's Theme Song Contest. Today he came in to meet the gang and sing his winning song live. Little did anyone know, this guy is in a wheelchair! In a wheelchair and the winner of a damn Jet Ski! So Howard talked to the guy for a while and then a guy called in and offered $1000 for the Jet Ski. Ralph offered $1200 for it. Jackie, the cheap guy that he is, offered $300! Bill wouldn't settle for that, he said that someone told him that it was worth $4000-$5000. So a couple more callers called in and started bidding on the Jet Ski. Then, big spender, Dominic Barbara called in and offered $3500 for it. Howard talked Dominic up to $3800...Sold! So Bill is $3800 richer and who knows what that fat bastard Dominic is going to do with a damn Jet Ski!? Bill sang his song live and did a pretty good job at it. He told Howard that his real name is like Oiler Bill Soto...or something like that.
Rodney Dangerfield Comes In. 1/30/97. 8:40am
Rodney came in to do a simple plug for his new movie Meet Wally Sparks this morning. It turned into a bit more than that as time passed. At first Howard and Rodney just talked about the size of Rodney's penis and stuff like that. Howard thanked Rodney for being a friend and standing by the stuff he does. Rodney got a plug in for his movie and his web site where you can get an answering machine message from Rodney himself. Rodney also told his life story and how he became a comedian. He used to sell aluminum siding even when he was appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show. A little while after the interview Howard started talking to Jackie about his relationship with Rodney. Jackie and Rodney have known each other for quite a while. Gange found this out while doing the pre-interview. Rodney didn't have anything good to say about Jackie. Howard invited him back into the studio. It seems that Jackie borrowed some money from Rodney years ago and didn't pay it back, at least with cash. Jackie borrowed $1000 and paid Rodney back with ''jokes''. He wrote some material for Rodney to pay him back. I guess Rodney didn't think that was re-payment because when Jackie went back to him to borrow some more money he wouldn't lend it to him. This turned into the biggest story for the whole day. It lasted through the whole morning. Rodney wanted to let the whole thing go but Howard kept bringing it up with Jackie. Rodney came and went from the studio about three times this morning. The money that Jackie was borrowing was for pressing his second album... That would explain why he didn't pay it back. The third time Rodney came into the studio Jackie was ready to pay off his loan. He pulled out a check and filled it out for Rodney. Of course Rodney didn't take it. This story will haunt Jackie for years to come.
After that clip they went to commercial break.
Bubba said that he was just hoping that maybe what happened would call into Howard's show and tell him what happened. He said he did it for shock value.
Booker said that he left the trophy laying there and didn't take it. He said that Bubba obviously didn't like Howard for whatever reason. Brent Hatley talked about how Bubba took that and tried to make something of it. That led into a show clip where Howard talked to Booker about that incident. Here's an except from my archives with some details added:
Howard wins Billboard Awards! 9/10/96.
Howard won like 3 Billboard Awards recently but didn't go to the award ceremony to get them. Howard hates broadcasters in general so he sure doesn't want to sit around with them. Well one of the DJ's on Howard's station in New York was at the ceremony. Booker, as he's known on the air, was at the ceremony and watched as an award presenter wiped his ass with Howard's award and then proceeded to toss the award up in the air and watch it come crashing down. Booker said one guy's name was Moby Dick and the other was Bubba the Love Sponge.
Booker told Howard that Bubba has ripped off his show and he's doing the same thing Howard is doing at night. Howard said that everyone bombs on their own and they don't know that he would never do something like that. Booker said that they're just scumbags. Howard said that these guys don't know that they can't get away with that. Howard said they should give away an award for ''most jealous'' and maybe they'll win. Howard said he doesn't want to be in an industry with someone who calls himself Bubba the Love Sponge.
After that clip we heard Howard talking about how he really didn't know that much about Bubba but Bubba doesn't believe him. He said that he insists that he didn't know much about him but Bubba thinks he's just saying that.
Bubba said that he's an in your face kind of guy and that's the way he's always been. Bubba said you can't run away from Howard. He said that everyone knows who Howard is whether you like him or not. Brent Hatley said that Bubba can't keep anything off the air either. He said he doesn't hold back. If you don't want him to talk about something then you don't tell him about it.
Howard said that he knows that Bubba had a show in Connecticut when they went on there in Hartford. He tuned in to hear the station that Dee Snider was on and he heard Bubba doing his thing and doing song parodies. Then he started to sing about him being a dick and sucking so he got kind of heated up. He said he used to work out to that station. He said that they kept going with the song parodies about him so he had to stop listening.
Howard said he had a chip on his shoulder because he heard that Rosie was trying to keep Madonna off his show. He said he felt attacked and he attacked back. He said he has this anger that's over the top so that's what that was all about. He said a lot of shit comes out of his mouth when he feels his show is being attacked. That led into a show clip where Howard talked about Rosie going off on him at this film festival. Here's a rather harsh excerpt from my archives:
FAT PIG BITCH SCUMBAG SCRAG FAT-HEADED C***. 3-2-96. Who am I talking about? Rosie O'Donnell or however you spell that fat pigs name. At a 20th anniversary party for Ivan Reitmans film 'Animal House' Rosie bad mouthed Ivan for taking on the directing roll on Howard's movie 'Private Parts'. Ivan defended Howard saying that this film is getting the same kind of controversy as 'Animal House' did 20 years ago. Another Director, John Landis, was actually moving away from Ivan like Howard had given the man said! Rosie was yelling at Ivan and saying '..just wait 'till he makes fun of a rape victim that you know...' F*** you, you fat c*nt! She's just trying to get back at Howard for the things that he's said about that unfunny-life draining-pig bitch! Howard is right when he says that she drains every ounce of life out of any movie that she's in. She was unfunny on that VH1 show and she's still unfunny today. F--- ROSIE O'Donnell
After playing that we heard from Rosie, Ralph and Fred about how it doesn't take much to set the audience off. Rosie didn't think much of it at the time but she would hear guys yelling out ''Baba Booey'' to her when she was out. They played another clip where Howard was talking to Norm MacDonald about who he thinks about in bed. they ended up making fun of Rosie's giant head in that interview.
After that we heard from Howard about how Rosie was very big at the time and his comments were taken in a very angry way... which they were. He said he never hated Rosie. He just didn't understand that type of broadcasting. Fred said that she can be very serious when she's on the air but she's a very nice person from what he's seen.
Next up they played a show clip where Howard read an article about Rosie being outed as a lesbian. He wondered why she pretends to be into Tom Cruise instead of just being real and talk about being into chicks. He said he knows she hates him and he's not even sure why. He said he doesn't think she's talented and she has a big head but that's the truth. Howard said he's more attracted to Tom Cruise than she is.
Next up we heard Jim Forbes talking about how Captain Janks called Rosie in September 1996. They went right into that clip. They had some audio of Rosie talking about that prank call thrown into it as well. Here's an excerpt:
Janks calls Rosie 'huge head' O'Donnell! 9/11/96.
Yesterday Janks got Rosie's people to think that the ex-Mayor of Philadelphia would be calling in. He called in and said ''..Howard Stern calls you a big fat pig...'' He said it a couple of times before they hung up on him. Rosie pretended to be polite about the whole thing saying something about Howard not being a human being. friggin pumpkin head.
After that we heard Rosie again. She was saying that she never used Howard's name in public again. She would just say ''Who'' if people asked her question about him. She said that she was told to just go on the show but it just wasn't fathomable to her.
They played another show clip where Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he would go on Rosie's TV show to promote his movie. Howard said he would but he doesn't think that she'd ever have him on. Howard said she's a big phony anyway. Howard said he's going to be doing a lot of those kind of talk shows to promote the movie.
We heard from Rosie again and she said she remembers seeing Stuttering John out at the red carpet events and she knew to stay away from him. Howard also commented on that and said that he remembers Rosie thinking that he thought he was the cool kid in high school who was making fun of her. He said he was actually the guy who was non-existent in school. He said his fans are very loyal to him and they can be brutal if people aren't on their side. He said the fans have always stuck up for him. That led into a show clip where a caller told him about stealing Rosie's garbage.
After that we heard Ralph talking about that whole feud again. Rosie also talked about how she was scared of the fans for a while. She said that they were scary people. That led to a show clip where Howard played with a new Rosie O'Donnell doll. Here's an excerpt:
Howard Plays With The New Rosie O'Donnell Doll, Takes Some Calls. 10/22/97. 4:00 pm
Howard had the new Rosie O'Donnell doll and he was playing clips from it and laughing at them. It had phrases such as ''Help, my fat ass is stuck in the toilet,'' and ''If I don't get bacon I'll kill someone.'' Everyone had a good time with that. Howard said they had breast exams coming up.
Next up we heard Ralph talking about how he went out shopping for the Jellybean head that they filled up for a contest. Jackie the Joke Man also talked about a funny song parody they wrote about Rosie. He said he's not sure how vicious they got but it was pretty easy to make fun of her head. That led into another show clip where Howard sang a song parody about Rosie. Here's my write up from that day:
New Song Parody: ''Candle In Rosie's Head'' 9/12/97. 6:20am
Howard was inspired to write a new song parody about Rosie O'Donnell's pumpkin head yesterday. Robin read some news story and it pissed Howard off so he came up with this ''Candle In Rosie's Head'' song to the tune of Elton John's ''Candle In The Wind''. The song talks about how you could put a candle in her huge pumpkin head and it would light up the world because it's so big.
Next up we heard Jim talking about Howard taking his battles to the street and trying to get on Rosie's show to debate her on gun control. We heard from Ronnie the Limo Driver about that and he said that they were told to keep them out of the building. Ronnie said that they weren't able to get in. Rosie said that she was told about that and said it was good that they didn't get let in. That led to a show clip where Howard was at the building trying to get in.
In the clip Howard was being interviewed by a bunch of reporters about why he was there. Howard then tried to get into the building but he was denied. Howard asked security if they could get in but Howard didn't even know if he was on the air or not. They told Howard he wasn't allowed in so Howard wanted to make a statement to the press. He said he was banned from going on the show. The crowds were still going nuts. Someone even told Howard he sucks. He told her to come over so he could kick her ass in front of everyone.
After that clip we heard from Fred who was saying that Howard doesn't mean this stuff personally most of the time. He said that it can get twisted and taken out of context though. He said that's how a lot of people hear about what Howard is saying. People will take it out of context and only tell them the harshest part of the conversation. He said it can get out of control. That led to another show clip where a guy talked about wanting to kidnap Rosie's son Parker.
After hearing that we heard Rosie talking about how that wasn't funny and she called Mel Karmazin at the time and told him that it wasn't funny. She said that she also called Mia Farrow about it and told her how scary it was. She said that Mia called Howard and Howard mentioned that on the air. She said she and Howard spoke to each other and they talked about how scared she was. She said that Howard said he wouldn't do it ever again and he didn't do anything for a long time.
Howard said he understood Rosie and her concerns. He said that he backed off of the rhetoric. Howard said he felt very uncomfortable on the phone but he respected it. He said he backed down but not completely. He said Rosie told him that she wasn't trying to block his guests so he laid off.
They played another show clip where Howard took a call from a fan who asked why he hates Rosie so much. Howard said it wasn't about hate. He said that it's just that they're doing homogenized TV. He said he doesn't get it. Howard told the guy that she's not that good as an actress or a stand-up comic. He said she was good on Letterman and some of her daytime TV show. He said he can't lie and say he likes her. He said he's not going to kiss everyone's ass saying he likes them.
They wrapped up today's History of Howard Stern around 11:20am.
FIRE IN The STUDIO!!! 11/5/96.
Around 9:30 this morning while Howard, Jackie, Fred and Robin were talking about the old Tonight Show Howard noticed a really nasty smell. Jackie saw smoke and Howard immediately said ''..let's get out of here...''. Howard was right out the door. He hadn't turned off the microphones so you could hear him yelling at Fred to play commercials. Poor Fred was in the studio running commercials while everyone else ran out. After a few minutes of commercial break they came back on. Apparently something in the board shorted out and smoked a bit. Scott The Engineer said that it was an amplifier module. Howard really sounded scared when it first happened. Robin just kept laughing through the whole damn thing. Does she ever stop? About a half hour later Gary came into the studio and told Howard that there was an ABC News crew downstairs. They heard that Howard was fired so they came down. How they got getting fired and having a fire in the studio confused is beyond me...
After that we heard Jim Forbes saying that two weeks later Howard and the guys moved to a new studio that would be their home for the next decade. That led into a show clip where Howard talked about his new bathroom and how it has no ventilation. Howard said he has to go doody and he doesn't want to go in there. Jackie said it sounds like he doesn't have a choice. He asked Robin what she would do. Robin didn't know what to do. Howard said he thinks that everyone will be listening if he goes in there now. He said he suddenly didn't have to go. He said he'd hold it in until that night.
After that we heard Doug Goodstein talking about the new studio and how they finally had room for people to perform. He said that they had room to have a band in there but it was still kind of small. He said that they had the band Bush in there shortly after moving. That led into a show clip of Bush performing ''Machine Head'' live in the studio.
That led into a show clip where Howard talked about how hot all of the interns were. He had Gary in the studio to tell him who they all were. Gary ran down some of the girls and said that none of them were there that day. Gary told Howard about what they looked like though. He said that maybe they should have an intern beauty pageant so he can see them all.
Howard, Gary and Robin all came up with ideas for the pageant. They were coming up with ideas for the show and how they could make it work. They talked about giving a $500 prize and the right to call themselves ''Howard's Angel'' or something like that.
After that we heard current day Howard talking about coming up with the idea for the pageant. Gary also chimed in on that and said that they were talking about doing a sexy outfit category and they were wondering if that was right to do. Scott DePace talked about how hot some of the girls were that were coming in as interns there. He said it was one hot girl after another there for a while. Robin also talked about that and how sometimes you have to be special to get on air but this gave the girls a chance to get in there and show their personalities.
Howard said that now everyone has interns on the air. When he started out there was nothing like that going on. Now it's standard operating procedure. Howard said it brings you behind the scenes. Howard said everyday people are interesting. He said the interns were interesting.
Mike Gange talked about how they've always had pretty interns there. He said that it was a great way to see them all dressed up and doing goofy things. Steve Grillo talked about remembering the girls rehearsing for the pageants and some of them took it really seriously. Mike Gange said that the girls were supposed to dress sexy but they eventually started coming in dressed in bikinis. That led into the next show clip which was the intern pageant. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
The Intern Beauty Pageant! 1/21/97. 7:10am
Well today was the day for the big Intern Beauty Pageant production. There were 5 female interns competing for the big prize today. Vanessa, Jennifer, Amy, Jen and Beth were all included in this thing. Howard decided last week to do this thing because there were so many great looking interns working at the station. The judges of this contest were Larry 'Ratso' Slomann, Roger Offner(Serial Killer Interviewer), Ross Zapin(National Alternative Promotion Director for Geffen Records and friend of the show), Robin, Fred and Jackie The JokeMan. Howard kept himself out of the judging for some odd reason. The contest started off with the Sexy Outfit and Questioning portions. Howard asked each girl questions such as ''What are your ambitions?'', ''Are you for or against breast implants?'', ''What are your turn-offs?'', ''Do you like to be spanked?'' and ''Which Judges turn you on?''. The judges were grading on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest. After that portion Gary sang a new version of ''You Are So Beautiful'' without music.. The next portion of the contest was Talent. Vanessa did Meringue dancing with a guy partner, Jennifer belched ''Baba Booey'' and ''F-Jackie'' then tied a cherry stem with her tongue, Amy made her eyeballs flicker back and forth, Beth danced to ''This Is How We Do It'' and did some back flips and Jen hoola hooped her way through this part of the competition. Robin sang a number between that portion and the next which is the evening gown portion. Not much happened during this part. Howard was trying to rush through it to get to Ivan Reitman's phone call. After the Evening Gown portion of the pageant all of the scores were added up and each judge's top three were announced. Here's how they came out:
During that clip we heard Ross Zapin talking about how creepy he felt looking at the girls. He said he didn't want to cross nay lines but he also knew it was radio so he had to do what he had to do. Ross also said he had to get his bands played so he played along.
We also heard from Ronnie who was talking about how the girls would kiss his ass because they knew he was a judge. He said he had a lot of fun doing it and they've had a lot of really good looking girls as interns over the years. He said they still do.
We heard from Ralph who said that he has always enjoyed those pageants but you can't get as rough on them as the evaluation things they've done with other people. After hearing those clips they played more of the intern pageant.
During the clip we heard from Gary and Mike Gange about the talent the intern had with her eyes and how no one could see it other than the guys in the studio.
Steve Grillo talked about how young the girls were and how he felt they were kind of exploiting them or something. He said they were very young and he felt Howard took it a little too far... but that was Howard. Gary said they asked some very personal and sexy questions. He said they did get to be kind of crazy.
After that clip we heard Gary talking about how he came up with that whole thing. He said he had read Drew Carrey's book where he talked about being molested. He said that this didn't affect his life like some people. He said he didn't think it fucked up his life. He said the only person that he had talked to about it was his wife. He said that Drew Carrey had given him this inspiration to bring it up on the air. He said he kind of crow barred it in but it made sense at the time. Here's an excerpt from that day:
Robin's Big Revelation/Gary's Bigger Revelation! 8/4/97. 8:35am
Last week Howard mentioned that Robin told him something very interesting about her relationship but Robin didn't want to talk about it on the air. Today he brought it up again but she was still reluctant to talk. Gary told Howard that he'd tell something about himself that no one knew if Robin agreed to tell her story afterwards. Well a deal was struck and Gary told his story so here it is... When Gary was about 6 or 7 years old a guy who was about 17 had Gary yank him off. Gary said that he didn't know any better at that age and that ''...there were treats involved...'' The guy gave Gary candy to use his hand on him. And it didn't happen just one time. Gary said that it happened a bunch of times one summer. Gary said that he kept the memories buried pretty deep but over the years they've come up again. He said that he's pretty lucky since it didn't screw him up too much. After he told his story his mother called in pretty upset. She was freaking out because Gary never told her that this happened. Fred also had a quick story to tell about a time when he was almost molested at the age of 10. Fred knew better and didn't let it happen. After all of that Robin's story was starting to look kind of tame. Howard took a break and when they came back Robin told her story. Let's begin by saying that Robin was never into oral sex. She's done anal but not oral. She said that she just never had an interest in it. Recently she decided to surprise her boyfriend by learning how to do it really well. So Robin set out on a journey to find a video tape that would help her learn. She visited a couple of video stores but chickened out. Then one day she was driving through a Hispanic part of the city when she saw an X-Rated video store. She went in and picked out the one video that had oral on it and picked it up. She brought it home and watched some of it until she saw how to do it. Then one night she surprised him with this new talent. Let's just say that he was very impressed by her technique. So that was Robin's big Revelation. After hearing Gary's story this one was kind of tame.
During that clip we heard Jim Forbes talking about Robin's revelation. Robin also talked about that revelation and how she had to give into that story after Gary gave up his story. They played the rest of that segment after that.
After that Jim Forbes said the reaction to that revelation was strong. Robin said that Mr. X never did hear that segment. Fred talked about how brave they are for revealing that stuff on the air. Fred said that Gary has revealed many things on the show that have added to the show. He said it's amazing what people are willing to do for the show. He said they know it's going to suck but they know it's good for the air. He said that's probably why the show has been so successful.
Gary said that the guys took that and ran with it. His family got very upset about it. Gary said that the show becomes so important that you don't think. He said his family wanted to know why he would talk about that. He said he can do what he wants but his parents hadn't heard the story before so it was kind of shocking to her. He said they were all freaked out when they heard the story. Gary said his brother called and asked what he was doing. Then his mother called crying and his father called very upset with him too. Gary said his father understood why he did what he did but he did call asking him what he was doing. That led into a song parody that Gary sang about the molestation called ''I Pleasured Him With My Hand.'' Howard and the guys were goofing on Gary about that story. Howard said he wanted to make a whole album about that story. They went to break after that.
After that we heard current day Howard talking about recording the song that ended up being the ending song for the show. Howard said that they told him to just ''let things come out'' during the recording. We heard from Fred and Jackie since they helped write the song too. Jackie said that they just wild tracked the song in the studio. Howard said he didn't know what to do with the track so he just started talking about being a tortured man. Fred said they were writing lyrics on the spot and by the end of the day they had the song. He said it may not sound like they did a lot but there was a lot of work that went into that song. He said that the Dust Brothers did a lot and they did a lot of lyric writing.
Jim Forbes said that ''Tortured Man'' was just one song that Howard performed for the soundtrack. He also worked with Rob Zombie on ''The Great American Nightmare.'' We heard from Rob about that song and how he figured it fit very well with Howard and the movie. He said they recorded it in the studio for like a half hour and Howard was very nervous. He said they had a good time doing it. Howard remembered how he didn't think he could sing the same way that Rob did it and he was whispering by the end of the recoding session. He said he couldn't do that in a million years. Rob said he found a picture of them together in the studio and Howard was holding that megaphone that he has. He said he thinks he sang the whole song through that.
That led into a clip of Howard talking about that recording session with Rob Zombie. He told Robin about the producer they used who works with Nine Inch Nails. Howard said this song kicks ass.
After that we heard Howard talking about how the song wasn't what they imagined it to be. Rob said that he still likes the song. He said no one complains about it other than Howard. Howard said he wishes he could go back and record it again. He knows he could do a better job with it. Howard said he thinks if he was in the right studio he could do it.
They played another show clip where Howard played some of the song that would eventually become his show opening theme song. Here's what I wrote that day:
Howard Plays The Clean Version Of American Nightmare. 2/20/97. 6:15am
Howard did a song with Rob Zombie for his soundtrack album that sounds pretty cool. The song uses the 'F' word quite a bit so he wasn't able to play it on the radio until they brought out an edited ''clean'' version. Today Howard had that clean version so he played it all the way through. Howard is pretty proud of the song. He said it sounds like something the Scores girls would dance to...
After that show clip we heard Jim Forbes talking about some of the artists who ended up on the soundtrack including Howard's father. That led into another show clip where Howard talked about that song and how they have his dad singing. Howard played a little bit of the song ''The Ben Stern Megamix.'' Here's my write up from that day:
Special Guest On Private Parts Soundtrack Is... 2/24/97. 7:25am
BEN STERN! The Ben Stern MegaMix is the special track that Howard has been talking about for weeks now. Howard played some of it this morning and it sounds really cool. They've got most of Ben's singing and yelling all mixed into this song. It's sort of a dance beat with Ben doing his singing and yelling in the background. A little later in the morning Howard played his Dust Brothers song all the way through for the first time. The soundtrack album goes on sale tomorrow. It's worth getting just for the Ben Stern song alone. There are 29 tracks of stuff on the CD.
After that clip we heard Jim talking about how Dave Navarro ended up on that soundtrack. We heard from Dave about how he got asked to be part of this song that Perry Farrell was working on. He said they just threw it together and they ended up playing it at the premiere of the movie. He said that it was a Jane's Addiction reunion at the time so he attributes their follow up tour to that song.
We heard from Howard about how Rick Rubin came up with some cool ideas for the soundtrack. He teamed Ozzy up with Type O Negative. They had Ozzy trying to remember that song but he was having trouble recalling it. Ozzy said he thought it was Type O Negative but he wasn't quite sure.
Steve Grillo said that they were two of the biggest douche bags of all time. He said that they lived in a different universe and he had to deal with them. He said he hated the fact that they got any attention at all.
Gary also said that they were such assholes but they were amusing. He said that they spent time wondering if they were insane or better than Andy Kaufman. He said that they were never sure. He said they found out later that some of them were clinically insane. That led into a show clip where Howard met the Jesus Twins for the first time. Here's my write up from that day:
The Jesus Twins Visit. 01/27/1997. 8:45am
After the break Howard came back and said he wasn't sure he wanted to get started with this. He said this band by the name of The Jesus Twins was outside of the studio this morning yelling at Gary and Steve Grillo. They were wondering why Howard's not putting them on his movie soundtrack album. Howard pointed out that the soundtrack is already being pressed so he can't just put them on the album. These guys said that Howard would be so impressed with the song that he'd stop the presses and add their song to it.
Howard agreed to let them in the studio to hear the song. What a mistake that was. As soon as they came in they started yelling at Crackhead Bob to get the hell out of the studio. They did the same to Gary. The one guy who seemed to be the leader of the nightmare kept saying that his band was the best and all others just plain suck. He put down every band that's on Howard's soundtrack.
Eventually Howard played some of their song and it sucked. It sounded like a bad 1980's Stevie Ray Vaughn song. Their manager, who had a very unique voice, tried to explain why this band was the next big thing. He said that everyone out there is doing grunge and hip-hop. Not these guys. They're doing something that no one else is doing.
At one point during this fiasco the lead Jesus Twin got in an argument with Fred. He started to make a move to confront Fred but Crackhead Bob saved the day. He held the guy back with his bad arm!
Howard never said that he really liked the song but said it was ''an okay song''. I think that was just to get the guys to leave the studio. Once they did leave the studio a call came in from a big wig over at Epic Records. He said that he might be interested in hearing more of their stuff. When the Jesus Twins heard the guy on the phone they didn't care. They don't need a record deal with a real company I guess. Howard went to break a short time after the guys left.
During that show clip we heard Doug Goodstein saying that they were more entertaining than Michael Jackson. He said that they were genius. Gary also commented and said that they were so arrogant. He said they thought they were stars and yelled at him for not treating them like they were. Fred did an impression of the manager and said that they couldn't have created that. He asked what the fuck that ''Feel My Ubiquity'' was. He said he doesn't get it. Gary said that Jackie said that the song should have been called ''Feel My Obscurity.''
Ben Stiller ran into the Jesus Twins years later. They had him commenting on that. Ben said that he didn't connect to them very well since he's Jewish. After that they got back to more of that show clip where the Jesus Twins came in for the first time. After finishing up that segment they went to break.
Jim Forbes came on and said that as the release date got closer Howard was on a full on media blitz. We heard from Howard as well. Howard said he was trying to get to people who don't know who he is or think so negatively of him. He said he tried to go on some TV shows to get some exposure because he knew that people would like it.
After that we heard a show clip where a caller asked Howard if he would appear on Saturday Night Live. Howard told the caller he wanted to do something but they have to loosen up a bit. Howard said he digs Norm (MacDonald) on the show but that's about it. Howard said he knows the movie is real good and he'd like people to see it. He said he'd like to go on SNL and have Jackie and Fred write stuff for him but no one took him up on that. Howard said he did meet with Lorne Michaels and he was an okay guy. He said he didn't seem to get him and what he wanted to do.
Jim Forbes said that Howard did make his appearance on Saturday Night Live in February 22, 1997. We heard from Norm MacDonald who said Howard only wanted to do Update. Jim Breuer also commented on that and said that it was huge for them to get Howard on there. He said everyone was talking about it like it was a huge deal. He said that when Howard came up he remembers being star struck and walking by to see him there. He said he remembers meeting Howard and he's sure Howard wouldn't remember it. He said he was kind of envious when Norm was on the show and Norm mentioned his name and Howard said he didn't know him. He said that sucked.
Colin Quinn also talked about the SNL thing for a few seconds. Norm MacDonald said that Howard was kind of worried about being liked there. That led into a clip of Howard's appearance on Saturday Night Live. Howard bashed the show saying the sketches are horrible on the show. He talked about some of the bits he used to like but he's gotten sick of. He told the audience about the bits he wanted to do on the show but they wouldn't let him do it. He said he was just going to show a clip from his movie ''Private Parts'' instead. They showed the clip after Howard described it.
After that clip we heard Norm talking about how Howard had said that everyone on the how sucked except him and he's not sure everyone liked hearing that. He said that he does kind of have that Teflon ability where he can say stuff like that if it's the truth.
Tracy Morgan talked about how he didn't take that personally when Howard said they sucked. He said that it was just Howard doing his thing. Colin Quinn said that he was a big Howard fan too but it did piss everyone off. He said that the cast was good at the time and Howard may not have known that. norm said that the cast was upset with Howard so he had to pretend to be upset too. Tracy said that it was good that someone came on and talked shit about them. He said that if they felt a certain way about it, they should have said something to Howard about it. That led into a show clip where Howard talked about his SNL experience.
After that clip we heard from Ralph Cirella who said that the whole media blitz and how Howard went on Wheel of Fortune and Pat Sajak disappeared and didn't appear on the show with Howard. That led into a show clip where Howard talked about that experience.
In the clip Howard gave Robin all of the details about his trip out there and how he got to meet Vanna White. He said it was so wrong to see him on the show. He said the whole idea of him being on it was wrong. He said the audience is full of 70+ year olds. He said he's not sure if any of them were even breathing.
Howard wasn't sure how much of that he was allowed to reveal. He said what he wanted to do was to be the woman turning the letters. He said that he wanted to dress in drag for that. He said they didn't want him to do that because it's a game and they don't want any distractions. Howard said he was dying to do that though. Howard said he was going to keep it a mystery since he's not sure he can talk about it. He did say that Pat ran out of the building and refused to appear with him.
They played the audio of that appearance on Wheel of Fortune after that. Howard came out and told Vanna he was going to go out and see his movie that weekend. He gave Vanna some chocolates and flowers. He also said that Pat had just run for the hills. He also joked that she was carrying his baby.
After that we heard Howard talking about how he was very proud of that movie so that's why he was out there promoting it the way he was. He said he was very proud.
Jim Forbes said that Tom Bergeron interviewed Howard for a morning show when the movie was coming out. We heard from Tom who said that they had Howard, Robin, Gary and everyone from the movie there and they also had Dr. Ruth there. He said they did it live. He said he met Howard back stage and he loves broadcasting so he gets it all. Tom said that it was very cool to talk to him about that. That led into an audio clip of that interview.
The clip was the middle of the interview and Tom was asking Robin and Howard if they can keep doing this until they're 55 years old. Howard said they may never know if they end up like Moe from the Three Stooges. Robin said she walked into the studio once and asked Howard if he could still do it at 50 and Howard said he can't see why not. Howard said he's still waiting to mature so he can probably keep doing it. Howard said if he because an intellectual then the show might come to a screaming stop.
After that we heard Fred talking about how they didn't know what it was going to feel like to have a successful movie. He said he understands why everyone wants to be an actor. He said everyone wants to know you and hang out with him. Fred said that the phenomenon couldn't have been any bigger at the time.
Robin said there was a different ending to the movie when it was shot. She said they went further and didn't stop at that point they stopped at. She said more of the story was told. She said that it turned out to be a perfect place to stop though.
Howard said that he used to go out and see the editing going on and he would see bits of it. Howard said they'd watch the movie on the big screen and he got very excited about it. That led into a show clip where Howard talked about going out to the West Coast to see his movie in a test screening. Here's what I wrote that day:
The Seattle/San Jose Movie Test Screenings. 1/21/97. 6:10am
As reported here last Friday, Howard headed up to Seattle Washington to do a test screening of his movie in an area that doesn't carry his radio show or his E! show. Howard talked about what a nightmare the screening seemed to be. Almost as soon as the movie started the projector broke the film so it had to be spliced back together. After 20 minutes or so they started the movie again but it had been spliced backwards! After another 20 minutes or so they got the movie rolling. The audience actually applauded 4 times during the movie. After the screening they pass out surveys to the audience. According to the surveys the audience loved the movie. Even after the film breaking and the long delay. The next day Howard headed over to San Jose California for another test screening. This time the audience applauded about 25 times during the movie. After this screening the surveys were even better than up in Seattle. This movie got survey scores as good as or better than Forrest Gump and Indiana Jones! Howard talked about this for about an hour early this morning and then later when Producer Ivan Reitman called in. Ivan backed up everything Howard said about the screenings. He wasn't just blowing smoke up our asses. While talking about the survey scores Ivan said ''...I've never seen numbers like this...''! Ivan did say that this doesn't guarantee a major success though. It only means that the people who do see the movie will most likely enjoy it immensely.
After some of that segment was played we heard from Howard and Betty Thomas about those screenings. Betty said that they had one screening where the movie got stuck and the film started to melt. She said that this was the best thing she had ever seen in her life. Howard remembered that melting too. He said that the audience had to sit there for a half hour while they fixed it. Betty said that the people were getting restless. Betty said that they had to edit it in the screening room and they told the audience they could leave if they wanted to. Not a person left. Howard said they got it going and he could feel them laughing and all of that so it was great. He said he sat in the back and no one knew he was there. Betty said that has never happened to her before and it was very exciting.
Ivan Reitman said the audience got ratings cards and he seems to remember getting something in the high 80s that the movie was great. He said that it was a great experience. He knew they had something very special.
Howard talked about how great the tests went and how happy the movie studio people were. Ivan said that Shari from Paramount thought she was going to have a big hit. Howard said he remembers seeing Ivan's name all over the movie and how he was putting his name all over it. He said he could have left his name off of it if it sucked. Howard said he was all over it though so he knew he had something great.
They played another show clip where Howard talked about going to see his movie again. He said that some of the press got to see it too. They ended up goofing on Jackie's laughs and had him laughing at himself in the movie. Fred ended up playing all of Jackie's different laughs as they imagined he would do when he was watching the movie. They went to break after that.
Howard Mentions The Movie Premiere. 1/9/97. 10:00am
Howard's not giving us all of the details yet but he did talk a little bit about the premiere today. A phone caller asked Howard if he could be invited to the premiere, Howard told him no but went on to give a couple of details about it. He said that there will be bands playing before the movie and that MTV will be covering the whole thing live. This premiere is supposed to happen at Madison Square Garden at an unspecified date.
After that clip Jim Forbes talked about how Paramount held one of the biggest screenings in New York City. Publicist Dan Klores talked about how they were making it into an event and not just a movie premiere. He said that he knew that it could be big. He said when you make it an event you have the opportunity of turning it into more stories.
Howard talked about how he was going to California to talk about the marketing and he brought in Dan to sit in with him. He said that they pushed for the big movie premiere and the movie company wanted to keep it small. Howard's agent Don also chimed in on that and said he knew how to do it and they had to do it in the right place. They wanted to do it in Madison Square Garden. Dan said that Paramount said no to every idea they had. Dan said that Howard and Don had to fly out to meet with Shari Lansing to tell her how stupid her people were. They went along with everything after that. Dan said that all of the morons were saying no before that.
Howard talked about how MTV covered it and it was a big home run. He said it was a lot of work but it was worth it. Dan Klores said that the event was a smash home run.
They played some audio of a news report where they were talking about all of the people who were waiting to see the movie.
Mike Gange, Fred Norris, Scott the Engineer, Jackie and more talked about being on the red carpet and how strange it was for them to be there. Jackie said it couldn't have been more exciting. That led into a clip from MTV where Chris Connelly was interviewing the guys on the red carpet.
After that clip we heard Steve Grillo talking about how great it was to be on the red carpet. He said he was super high after smoking a joint in the car.
Ivan Reitman said that was the biggest event he had ever gone to. He said he remembers his mother coming to see the movie and seeing him standing up there with Howard Stern and Marilyn Manson wondering what had happened to her son. That led into some more MTV audio where Ivan was up on stage talking about that.
Don Buchwald talked about how big the event was when they got there. Howard's sister Ellen also talked about how big it was and how people were cheering and calling her name. She said it was unbelievable. Dr. Lou Weinstein also talked about walking in behind Tony Bennett and David Lee Roth. He said it was really comical when people were asking him who he was and knowing him as Dr. Lou.
We heard from Gilbert Gottfried who said he was watching that coverage on TV and seeing the huge crowds there. He said it was like millions of people and they were chanting his name. He said that they were chanting his name and then saying ''fuck Jackie.''
Dee Snider said that everyone was getting both cheers and jeers. He said that all of the guests have had good times and bad times on the show so they get it from both sides.
They played a clip from MTV where the crowd was chanting that someone sucks. David Lee Roth was up on stage saying that this night was all about Howard Stern. David said he was walking up the red carpet and the cop who busted him in Washington Square Park was there. Fred was up there talking about how he was looking forward to this event. David said that it was like a mini-city there.
Next up we heard from Ralph who said he heard people yelling out that he was a fag and stuff. He said that he brought his mother and sister there and his sister would tell the story about them yelling out his name but left out the ''fag'' part.
Tom Chiusano remembered that day and how people were holding signs that said ''F-Penelope'' and handing out bumper stickers. Tom said he asked for one of the bumper stickers and brought it home to his wife. She ended up putting it on her car.
Mary McCormack said that she remembers people yelling at her mom to show her tits and she kept holding up her tickets thinking they were yelling at her to show her tickets.
They also had audio of Amber Smith talking about walking the red carpet twice. Carol Alt also talked about how she fainted in the middle of the premiere. She said she didn't know she was supposed to eat something. She said that was so stupid. Carol said that it was like being at the Oscar's. She said it was a night she'd never forget.
They played another MTV clip where Elephant Boy was talking to Kurt Loder about the movie. Nothing he said was intelligible but Kurt ended with ''precisely...'' Tom Arnold was up there too talking about how great the movie was.
We heard from Gary about how great that night was. He said he went with his wife and took a limo over with Jackie. He said that Fred came in after that and then Mary, Robin and Howard in the Popemobile. Mary McCormack said that she had no context to know just how crazy that Popemobile was. Ronnie talked about how they had to do security that night. He said they had to run along side the car as Howard was in there.
Howard talked about how great that night was and how he was worried that the movie wouldn't be successful. He said that he never thinks anything is going to be successful.
They played another MTV clip where Kurt Loder talked to Howard about the Popemobile. Howard told Kurt that it was a very exciting night. He said they'll have a party after the movie. He said that the fans are the reason he's there.
After that clip we heard Howard talking about how that Popemobile made him even more neurotic. He said that he was hoping the film wouldn't burn at the premiere or anything like that. He said it wasn't such a heady experience for him. He wished that he could enjoy those moments more.
Carol Alt talked about how crazy things were when the audience was screaming for him. That led right into a news report about the movie premiere.
After that we heard from Gary who said that anyone who was a celebrity was put into a room to wait. He said he remembers seeing John Popper, David Lee Roth, Joan Rivers, Flavor Flav and Tony Bennett in the same room. He said he remembers seeing his father talking to Flavor Flav and wondering what they could be talking about. He said he found out that they talked about where they lived and that's how they got into that conversation. Mike Gange said that he knows how a rock star feels after that.
Perry Farrell talked about performing at that premiere. Perry said that his guitar player, Pete, disappeared before the premiere. He said that they were junkies at the time so his wife didn't want to put up with that. He said that Pete missed the sound check and eventually showed up. He said that Pete told them that he got a severe case of diarrhea but he was actually running around scoring. He said that was the only excuse that he could come up with. Perry said that he did make it to the show.
That led to another MTV clip where Howard was being interviewed and introduced Mary to the audience. Howard said he was lucky enough to have love scenes with her and thanked her for not throwing up during their scenes. Mary was asked what she learned about Howard during the movie but she had no answer. She said she was very overwhelmed. Howard was asked to introduce the band next. He introduced Porno for Pyros and their song ''Hard Charger.''
Dave Navarro talked about how great it was to see that movie after performing on stage. He said that they had a lot of hot chicks in the room. Dave said it was as close to being in a rock show as you can have at a movie.
Gary said he remembers thinking about how it was a real movie premiere but being told it wasn't like that all the time. He said he's seen movie premieres after that and they were right.
Jackie talked about how Ivan Reitman and Mel Karmazin were at the premiere and they were arguing about their seats. Jackie said that it would have been great if they had gotten into a fight. He said it really was an exciting premiere. Ivan Reitman said that it gave him a sense of the power of Howard that night.
Melanie Goode talked about how phenomenal the crowd is that Howard brings in. She said she had no idea what it was going to be like.
Steve Grillo said that he had a bunch of celebrities sitting around him. He said it was really surreal. Carol Alt was saying that she was afraid that she was going to be cut out of the movie. She said she was glad it all worked out.
We heard more from Fred about how strange it was to see himself on screen. He said that he would liked it if they had cut him out. He said he wouldn't have been so nervous if they had Kevin Bacon playing him in the movie instead.
We heard from Howard's mother Ray and his sister Ellen next. Ray said that she was impressed with the way people treated the movie. She said that it was so enjoyable. Ray said that she thinks it's a good movie and they still show it. Ellen said she loved the movie and thought it was so well done and Howard's biggest accomplishment. She said she still tells people to go rent it because it is a great love story. Ray said the movie had everything in it and she still watches it when she sees it on TV.
Don Buchwald talked about what a big deal it was to finally see it. He said that the audience loved the film and it was another pat on the back to the King of All Media. It was another great piece of history for Howard.
Gary said they had to go back to work that night and record a show. Jackie said he hated doing stuff like that. He said Howard couldn't wait until the next morning so he kind of understands that. Jackie said they only had 5 minutes to rest before doing a show though. He said it was a lot of fun.
That led into another show clip where Howard was doing his broadcast from the movie premiere. Howard had his first girlfriend Robin come in to say hello. They spent a few minutes talking to her. Robin (Quivers) talked about meeting Billy Corgan and he was telling her how exciting that was for him. Howard didn't even know he was there. John Stamos was there too. Howard said hi to him and saw some other guys out there.
After that we heard Ralph talking about how great that premiere was. He said that this guy came up to him talking to him and it turned out to be Howard's dentist Dr. Kaufman. He said he uses him but didn't recognize him out of his whites.
Next up we heard Brian Phelan talking about how Jeremy Piven was there and someone thought he was Paul Giamatti. Piven ended up getting pissed and walked away. Mike Gange said that they haven't heard from Jeremy since then. Paul Giamatti said he remembers hearing about that but he missed it. He wasn't there.
They played more of the movie premiere show where Gary asked Howard who he wanted to talk to next. Pat Cooper came in and talked to them for a minute. Howard said hi to Fred's parents after Pat.
After that we heard from Pat Cooper talking about the premiere. Don Buchwald said that it was wonderfully successful.
Robin also talked about that and how she had a meltdown there. She said she burst into tears during the show they did afterwards. She said she was thinking about how far they had come and she broke down. That led into the clip where Robin broke down and told Howard how wonderful he is. She was telling Howard how great he is and Fred was playing her theme song. Robin was talking about how wonderful his performance was and said she wanted to cry talking about this. Howard said he felt like he had to return the compliments to her since she took his breath away. Robin said that wasn't necessary.
After that we heard Rob Zombie talking about how he performed with Howard at the premiere. He said that he just got a bunch of guys together to play the song. He said that it was probably a blur to Howard. Howard said it was nerve racking to him. Brian Phelan said that Howard just went up and started yelling into the mic. Ralph said they made Howard up to look kind of like Rob and the other guys up there. Howard said he didn't know what to do on stage so he just stood there. He said being a rock star is a lot harder than it looks.
Gary said he got drunk that night and his wife got mad at him. He said that some people were leaving the party and they were giving up their passes. Gary said one guy got in and he was being confrontational. He said the guy got up next to him and ruined his night. He said he got up to leave and the guy called him an asshole. He said he got on the escalator and his wife said he was being embarrassing to her. Gary said he and the guy were yelling and the guy spit at him. Gary said he tried to spit on the guy too and the spit fell right in front of him. Gary said he just went back to his room and said ''Yeah, whatever...'' They went to break after that.
That led into a show clip where Howard talked about his soundtrack album being number one in the country. Howard spent a few minutes talking about that and how cool he thought it was. He joked that Big Orange Marble (Jackie's wife's band) was number 2.
Next up we heard Jim Forbes talking about Howard and the crew going out to California for another premiere. Jackie talked about how excited they were out there. They had Dean Cain, George Clooney and John Stamos out there. Jackie said that Clooney told them that it could be so fleeting so they should enjoy it while they can.
Fred said it was weird going out to California and having so many people saying hello to you. He said that there were a lot of people who weren't sure if they were going to be anything or not so they were doing the ''sniff test'' on them. Fred said that they have to be nice just in case.
Howard's mom also talked about how Howard always does what he says he's going to do. She said that he's done it each time he's said he's going to do it. They've gotten used to that.
They played a show clip where Howard took a call from his mom. She wanted to go see the movie again. She said they will see it many times. Ray said they had such a good time seeing it. She forgot that it was Howard up on the screen. Howard said that means she's comfortable seeing him on screen. They talked about what a great night it was. Ray said that he was the toast of New York. Howard said he was nervous to show it at such a big theater. He said that they never show it to 6,000 people at a time unless you believe in it. He said it really was great that it went so well. Howard asked if his parents went home and had sex that night. Ray would only say that they always share. Howard said he thinks that they got caught up in the moment.
After that clip we heard Howard talking about how his book and movie both got rave reviews. He said that they said he could act and that was very gratifying. Mary McCormack said that most of the reviews were about how surprised people were about how good the movie was. She said they were mostly well reviewed so that was very nice.
We heard a clip of Joel Siegel reviewing the movie. Joel gave it a good review. He said he really liked it and he thinks Howard Stern is awfully good. Joel also talked about how he heard Howard going off on him in a cab one day but he still loved the movie. Joel said he called Howard Stern and he was very apologetic about what he said about him. Joel said he thinks the movie will do $100 million.
Next up we heard Richard Roeper talking about the movie and how people thought Howard was this wild and crazy guy but the movie showed that he was a family man. It also showed his struggle to get where he is.
We heard Howard talking about how he's always been bashed but the movie and books were acclaimed. He said he thought that was funny since his actual career wasn't.
Next up we heard Mr. Skin doing a report about all of the nudity in the Private Parts movie. Then we heard from Fred who was saying that there was some admiration and some jealousy out there after the movie. He said that the movie didn't fail and it was pretty damn good. He said it's good that it was because there was less chance of people saying they fell on their faces.
Howard said Chris Rock told him that he went to see the movie with friends and they were going to goof on him. He said that Chris told him that they were upset when he didn't suck. Howard said it took 5 years to get through all of this and it wasn't an easy process. He said he could have been a laughing stock if the movie sucked. Luckily it was good.
We heard from Paul Giamatti and Ryan Phillippe about the movie too. Ryan said it didn't surprise him that Howard could act. Alec Baldwin also said that Howard could have been an actor. He said he's natural and sincere on screen. Alec said the only thing that hurts him is that Howard played himself in a biopic. He said it's a shame he doesn't make more movies. Alec said he could have been a really good comic movie actor.
David Brenner also talked about how great Howard was in the movie. Then Ben Stiller said that Howard did a great job playing himself. He said it's a different situation playing yourself or playing someone else. Ben said that Howard is who he is and that's why he's so successful. He said that George Carlin was who he was and you don't want to see him doing Hamlet. He said you want to hear Carlin being himself. He said he wouldn't mind seeing Howard do Hamlet though, just to see his spin on it.
Rob Zombie said he thought Howard did a great job playing himself. He said Paul Giamatti did a great job too. He said that the movie was great and he thought Fred and Robin were really good in it too.
Jason Alexander said he was blown away by the movie. He said he had no idea how it would be turned into a movie. He said he was never offended by the movie and his wife enjoyed it too. He said she's not a fan of the show but she enjoyed it. He said she was uninterested but she had a great time seeing it. Jason said if you knew nothing about Howard you'd still enjoy the movie.
Barbara Walters also commented on the movie and how she fell in love with him after seeing it. Before she saw it she thought much differently about him.
They wrapped up today's History of Howard Stern around 10:35am.
After that we heard Jim talking about Howard's first scene in the movie which was the re-creation of the Fartman MTV scene. Howard talked about how hard they worked on that scene and how authentic it could look. They had to recreate the costume and the feel of the whole thing. Betty Thomas talked about how nervous she was about Howard being in the big rig he was in and all of that. She said it has to be tough to have that rig around that area. Howard talked about how he wasn't feeling so thrilled about being up in that harness. He felt like he almost lost a finger when he did it on MTV for real. That led into a clip from the movie where Howard was talking about that scene.
We heard form John Stamos who did the part in place of Luke Perry who was the guy who actually introduced Howard on MTV. Howard said he heard Luke is upset that he didn't do it. He said he's surprised that he didn't do it actually. Howard said he does have a good relationship with Stamos so he appreciates him coming in and doing it. John talked about how he had to touch Howard's butt since that's what Luke did. That led into the clip from the movie where Howard dropped in as Fartman.
Next up we heard Stamos talking about how great Howard was on the movie. He said he thinks Howard was nervous that day but he was very focused. He said it's tough to play yourself and he really needs to make another movie.
They played another clip from the movie and then got back to Howard who was talking about how weird the whole MTV thing was. Howard said he was walking around with his butt cheeks hanging out at the MTV thing. Howard said he was walking around all of these guys back stage and being embarrassed in front of all of these people.
Dee Snider talked about how Howard talked to him about doing that scene even though he was as dead as dead could be. He said he had all of his friends there in the movie. They had some audio of Ted Nugent talking about that as well. John Popper talked about doing that scene with Howard and how he had been asked to do it. John said the story was a little revisionist since they hadn't actually done much in 1992 when that scene was taking place. He said it was a cool scene to shoot and he enjoyed it.
They played another movie clip and then we heard more from Dee Snider about who was there that day when they shot the movie. Dee said he still gets a royalty check for those few seconds that he was in the movie. He said it's just pennies at this point.
We heard some audio of MC Hammer being interviewed about what he was doing in that scene. It sounded like it was from the set that day. Then we heard from Slash who said he was going to try and give Howard some slack but Howard asked them to be assholes to him so that's what they did. Slash said that he likes Howard though. He said he can be good at blowing people off though. Then had Flavor Flav talking about how great Howard is.
Ozzy Osbourne was on the set and when he was asked about doing the scene he didn't even remember doing it. That led into a show clip where Howard was talking about doing the movie with Ozzy and how he couldn't wait to get out of there. Ozzy said he just anted to get in there, do it and then go. We heard more audio from the movie after that quick clip.
Next up Jim Forbes talked about Carol Alt playing the woman Howard sat next to on a flight. Carol said that Betty Thomas and Paramount wanted her for the movie. Howard may have given her some good words but she had to send in a tape and audition. Betty Thomas said she felt she did a great job and she's so beautiful to look at. Howard talked about how it was kind of a manipulation because he's met people at parties who hate him and after he talks to them they end up liking him. That's what they were trying to show with Carol. He said she represented a lot of things in the movie.
They played some audio from the movie where Carol asks for her seat to be moved. Then we heard from Betty about that scene. She said that wasn't her idea but it worked out very well. Howard also talked about that. They played more of the movie where Howard was talking about how he knew she hated him.
Then we heard Richard Portnow in a scene. Howard talked about how Richard went out and spent a day with his father. He got him down to a T. Howard said he never got to do many scenes with Richard but he was great in the part. Betty Thomas talked about how great he was in that part too. She said that you want something that isn't ever there on the page. Betty said that he had the ability to make something simple into something that you could never get from a word on paper. Howard said he was perfect as his father. He said he was going to have him play his father in the cartoon that he was going to make.
That led into a show clip where Artie asked Howard about the scene where his father yells at the guy on the air. Howard told Artie about his dad working for Symphony Sid and what went on with that. From my June 2007 archives:
Artie asked if the scene in Private Parts where his father was yelling at guys was really something that happened. Howard said it wasn't really like that. He said that his father did tell him a story about this guy Symphony Sid who had a problem one time where he fell asleep and Ben did do the thing where he commanded him to get back on the air. He said that his father told him that story, he didn't witness it, so they put that into the movie in a condensed form.
After that we heard a clip from Private Parts with that scene in it. We heard from Al D'Amato who said he feels that the movie was really Howard. He said that he showed what he had to go through as a kid growing up in Roosevelt, Long Island. He said the movie is classic and Howard was a good person who was having fun and giving people entertainment. That led into another movie clip where Howard's parents were talking to him about going to college.
We heard another show clip where a caller asked Howard about his movie and why he didn't find someone to play him as a college student since he looked so old. That led into another movie clip where Howard screws up and knocks a record off the turntable.
Then we heard another show clip where a caller asked about which scene he was high in. Howard said it was the scene where they were watching the college film. He said he hates weed now and he was just trying to be cool back then. Howard said he sat there paranoid the whole time. He said he wanted to kill himself.
We heard from Steve Grillo who said that he remembers Howard coming out and telling him that he smoked a joint and he was really high. He said he was kind of giggling like a school girl. He wondered where that came from. Grillo said that Howard told him that someone gave him a joint and he smoked it. He said he knew that he was high in that scene. Betty Thomas said that if he was stoned then he did pretty good. He said maybe it helped in some way because he did look kind of freaked out. She said maybe he has to be high to act. They played the audio from that scene after that.
Mary McCormack talked about how good Howard was in the movie and how she thinks that he should keep acting. She said he did it the way he should do it. She said he kept it fresh and it kind of came naturally to him.
They played another show clip where Howard talked about doing the love scene with Mary. He told Robin and Jackie he was ready to bang her if he had to. He said he's an improv actor so he's ready to do what he has to do.
They had Mary and Howard commenting on that scene and how they were both fine with it. Howard said he made out with Mary and he was right in there. He said it was fabulous too. He said he was aroused and he loved it. Howard said he told her he was aroused and she said she didn't even feel anything. He said she did tell him that she enjoyed it. Mary says she didn't have any memory of it. She said she did remember hearing from Howard that he was aroused. Howard said there was a scene where he was making out with her while she was doing the dishes. Mary said they did make out a lot and by the end of the shoot they were making out all the time. They played another movie scene after that.
Next up we heard Howard talking about how he had to re-live some horrible moments in his life. He talked about the first radio station he worked at and how hard it was to go there to shoot the scene. Howard said he could see his face looking out this tiny window he used to look out of. He said he always wondered how he was going to get out of there. That led into the movie clip where he was back at that station.
Next up we heard Bruce Figler and Donna Donna who worked at that station. They talked about how good the movie was but how some of the stuff was historically incorrect. Donna said she loved the movie and thought it was terrific that they shot outside of that house that the station was in. She said it was a lot of fun and she's ready for a sequel. Next up we heard from Joe from Chicago who said the guy who played Yubi in that scene was too harsh. He said the real guy wasn't like that. Another guy commented on that character and said that he was portrayed accurately as far as he's concerned.
We heard from Howard who was saying that the actors in the movie really became the characters they were playing. That led into more audio from the movie where Howard got the job as Program Director at WRNW.
Next we heard Sandra Bernhard talking about how great the movie was and how it showed what he's like. She said that Howard is usually very private about his life and she liked seeing Howard playing himself.
Ben Stiller said he liked the movie and that it was a real movie. He said he thinks Howard knows what he does well and making the movie when he did was at the right time. He said he likes that he hasn't done anything since then too. He's so good at what he does that he just wants to be who he is.
Jim Forbes talked about how Howard going to Hartford and meeting Fred for the first time. We heard Howard talking about Fred and how he wanted to recreate their meeting in the movie. He said Fred is very quiet until he's on the air and then he's terrific. Betty Thomas talked about the way they shot their stuff and how complex Howard and Fred's relationship is. She felt that Fred was terrific in the role. She said he didn't have to say much but he still performed so well. She said that Howard really knows Fred well and he was great in the movie. Fred said he's not sure why they didn't give him lines in the movie. He said maybe they were afraid to. Fred said it wasn't in his control so he just did what they said.
Howard talked about how Fred can be kind of verbose in real life so the movie was kind of a manipulation. He said that he wanted to convey the way he feels he deals with Fred so that's the way they did it. He said that some of the stuff in the movie was very real and some of it was compressed into movie making. They played a clip from the movie where Howard meets Fred for the first time at WCCC.
Next up we heard Ivan Reitman talking about how they told that story in the movie and how it was very honest. He said that Fred is the good buddy you don't think about but you count on him. He said that Howard is lucky he found this family that supports him the way they do. He said it's clear that Howard loves them too. It's like a key to his success.
Paul Giamatti talked about how nice Fred was and how he wishes he could have gotten to know him even better. We heard from Fred about how it was like stepping into a time machine and going back in time to do those scenes. He said it was fun.
We heard from Jesse Ventura who said that you let the wardrobe do the acting. That's something he was told by an actor once. They played more movie audio where Howard was being invited to a movie premiere by an actress.
Melanie Goode played the part of that actress so we heard from her about the scene she did in the movie theater and how they had a thing in his pants to make it look like he was getting aroused. She said that Howard was mortified that day. She said it took him down a peg. They played some of the audio from that scene.
Howard talked about how that scene was based on a bunch of things from his career. He said that it was a mix of Jessica Hahn and Linda Blair but he never got in a tub with Linda or anything like that. Fred talked about how he was in the tub with that naked girl for a few days. He said that her tits were resting on his foot so that blocks out just about everything else from the movie. He said it was the high point for him.
Betty Thomas talked about how Melanie was such an attractive girl. She said that she thought Fred was going to die being in the tub. She said it was all about how to shoot it and give it some sophistication and make it kind of nervous. She said that Melanie seemed comfortable being naked and topless. She said the guys were much more nervous.
Melanie said she was very nervous before the scene and Betty came into the bathroom and grabbed her ankle under the stall and asked how she was doing. She said that made her even more nervous. That led into more audio from the scene where she was drawing her bath while Fred and Howard sat and watched from her hotel room.
Fred talked about how that must have been a highlight in his life and his career. He said if he never got another role he'd be okay. He said he had a good time shooting that scene. He said he got paid to do it too. He said it was a pretty cool deal.
Melanie talked about how she was wearing tiny underwear and it was cutting her in places... bad places. She said that she thought she had caught something from the water but it was just the underwear cutting her. Melanie said she had to take the underwear off so they stopped cutting her. She said she stood up and said she was taking them off because they were killing her. She took them off and Howard and Fred just stared at her. She said she felt much better the next two days but it was still awful being wet for days at a time.
Fred said he didn't know she was getting cut up by her underwear. He said that she gave her all for her performance. Fred said that she's an artist.
Melanie said when Fred got in the tub it was very small. She said that her legs are long and she didn't know what to do with them. She said that Howard is very tall and so is Fred so it was tough being in the tub for 3 days with them.
Howard said he really had a boner being in the tub with her. He said she was really hot. Robin said that she heard about Howard having to bend over and cover himself up because he really was getting aroused. Robin said he's so unprofessional. Robin said that it must have been hard to disguise what was going on.
Melanie said that Howard isn't as small as he says he is. She said that she had to lean up against Howard in the tub with no g-string on so you have to give him a break. She said that she was trying to turn him on in the movie so if he didn't get a hard on then she'd be a sucky actress.
Fred said that he was very into his character and he was playing with a bar of soap but Betty didn't think he should be doing that. Fred said that he didn't forget that he had a woman's breast on his foot for two and a half days. He said he didn't notice Howard's erection. He said he does remember Betty or someone telling Howard to take it easy with that erection but he never saw it.
Melanie talked about how funny Howard's underwear was. They mixed in some more of the movie audio as she was talking about that.
Fred said there was a line in the movie where Melanie was telling him that he could go now and he gets up and leaves. He said they cut that out. Fred said that he thinks they made the right choice by letting the audience paint the picture.
That led into a show clip where Howard was talking to Fred about shooting that scene with a hard on. Fred said that Betty had to come over with a towel every time. Howard said he would get out and hold his crotch. Fred said it would have been so funny if they had let that tape go. Howard said he would go up and beat off in his dressing room. Fred said Howard had her whole back against him and that's the switch in your brain that gets you going. Howard said he would beat off and then get back in the tub. He said that he's not sure how long the sperm would live in the water. He said she was totally nude in the water so he was very turned on. He wanted to have sex with her right there.
Melanie said she didn't know that's how Howard felt. She said she must have done a good job then.
Next we heard from J.F. Lawton who wrote ''Fartman'' for Howard. J.F. said that he was told they were going to write a movie about his career and he thought it was a bad idea and didn't want to write it. He said that they did a great job with it though. He said it turned out great. Ryan Phillippe also commented on how great the movie was.
We heard from Howard again talking about how the movie catches people off guard and it surprises them. That led into another movie clip where Howard was telling his wife that he knows what to do now and he just has to let things fly and go all the way. They went to break after that.
We heard from Howard after that and he talked about how he needed a person to play off of and Denise Oliver found this wonderful woman for him. That woman turned out to be Robin. He and Robin got on the phone and got along right away. He said they went out to dinner or something and that's when they met for the first time.
Ivan Reitman talked about how he fell in love with Robin when he saw her for the first time. He said she was always very lovely and she's got this common sense personality. That led into another movie clip where Howard got on the air and talked about how he hadn't gotten laid in a long time. Then he introduced his new news woman, Robin. Howard asked Robin if women get horny and management at the station gets upset with him for talking to her.
After that we heard from Howard about how great it was working with Robin on the set of the movie. He said it was a very emotional thing to make a movie about their career. He said it was pretty mind blowing that they were doing that. Howard said it was a stellar moment.
Ralph Cirella talked about how he felt Robin was the best one in the movie playing herself. He said she seemed real to him.
Allison Janney played the program director in Washington DC so we heard from her about the part she was playing. She said that she was given some ''chicken cutlets'' to put in her bra for that part. She said she was supposed to have really big breasts.
Betty Thomas said that Allison was great in the movie. She said that no one else was even close to her for that role. Betty said she's proven that over the years.
Robin said they had all of these very accomplished actors around them and they all kept to themselves and just did their jobs. They scattered like mice when they were setting up the scenes. That led into another movie clip from the Washington DC days.
Next up we heard a show clip where Howard was sharing stories about Private Parts and how he had asked Betty to get Mary topless in a scene but Mary wanted to wear a shirt. Howard said Betty called him aside and told him the bad news. He said he had been waiting to get her topless but he didn't want to be a shit head and just went with it. Mary did wear a bra and take her shirt off but nobody does that. They talked about how it was a granny bra or a sports bra that covered them up. That led into the movie clip from the scene Howard was talking about.
After that we heard Howard talking about how Ivan told Len Blum that they had to show that he's a good guy in some of the scenes. Howard said Ivan wanted people to see the whole story and that he is a good guy. Howard said they included some touching moments with his wife and things like that. Howard said some of that stuff was a bit of a manipulation.
Betty Thomas talked about how she has people telling her how much they loved the movie after thinking that they'd hate it. She said that the movie worked. She said it was important to Ivan and Howard to make him more accessible to women or wimpy guys.
Book publisher Judith Regan said that she loved the movie. She said that Howard was great in it and it was a charming movie and great family entertainment. She said that was unexpected.
Mary McCormack said she loved the movie and it felt sweet and sensitive. Mary said she remembers shooting a scene in Brooklyn and about 10 women came up tearing their shirts off so Howard could sign their boobs. She said it was a very odd thing. She had a ball doing the movie and it was the best job she's ever had.
Steve Grillo said he likes watching the movie because he was there and he helped make it. He said he can't watch it without getting a little nostalgic.
We heard a show clip where Howard talked about how he'd like to make a DVD with the extra scenes from the movie. Howard said he doesn't know if he could ever do that. He told Robin about some of the stuff that they shot that didn't make it in. Howard said he felt the movie should have been like 8 hours long. He said that would have been so great to do that. He said they had a lot of extra stuff and he probably could have made it that long.
We heard from Jerry O'Connell about how all of the fans went out and bought the book and then they went out to see the movie. He said that Howard would have gotten an award nomination if he wasn't Howard Stern.
Richard Roeper said that Howard was very comfortable playing himself and that's not as easy as people make it sound. Allison Janney said that Howard was very comfortable in that role and he did a great job. She said that she thinks he was having fun doing it too. That led into another movie clip where the program director was yelling at him in DC until they found out that his ratings were up.
We heard from Fred after that. He said that he wishes they would have released a DVD with extras on it so they could show the extra stuff they shot. He said that it would have been fun to see some of that stuff in the movie.
Steve Grillo talked about how proud he was of everyone over the movie. He said that even Gary was doing well. He said they all took to making the movie like ducks on water.
Jason Alexander talked about how great Howard did in the role. He said that he did a great job playing himself. Jason said that the movie was extraordinary. He said that Fred, Robin and Howard could do any movie they want to do. They can all act.
Amber Smith, who played Julie the lesbian in the movie, talked about that part and how it was something new on radio at the time. Amber said that made for a great scene when she told that Lesbian story she told. That led into audio of that scene. Amber then talked about this whole scene that she and Janine Lindemulder shot and how it got cut out of the movie. She said they told her that they cut it out because it was taking too much attention away from Howard. She said the scene was great though and they should put it in a behind the scenes thing on a DVD. Amber said that was her first big scene with a woman so she can credit Howard for that. They played more of that movie scene audio after that.
Quentin Tarantino talked about how great the movie was and how surprised he was by that. Quentin said he liked that they dramatized the talk Howard had about the miscarriage. He said that your life is your canvas and that's what they were showing.
Betty Thomas said there's a whole other movie inside this movie and that was the love story between Howard and Alison. She said it kind of came together in the scene where Howard and Mary were in bed and then he talks about it on the air the next morning. They played the audio of that scene next.
Paul Giamatti and Mary McCormack talked about those scenes and how they were handled. Betty Thomas talked about how Mary got to that emotional spot she got to. She said she doesn't know how Mary did it but she's never seen anyone use music in that way. She said that Howard didn't have that and he wasn't able to get there that easy.
We heard another show clip where Howard was telling the guys about how Mary would get to that crying by listening to music. Howard said she was able to back off and get into a light cry from an intense one. Howard said he told Betty that he can't cry like that but he didn't want to tell everyone there that. He didn't want Mary to know that he had to use a spray to make himself cry. He told Mary days later that he was using the spray. He had wanted her to think he was a great actor so he didn't tell her that right away. They went to break after that.
Howard talked about how brilliant Paul was in that part. He said he remembered sitting across from him and thinking how easy the scenes were to do with him. Paul didn't remember shooting that first scene. He said that most of them were when he was yelling at Howard and cursing him out. Paul then said he remembers shooting the scene where they meet each other for the first time and they do the call letters together. He said they had a great time doing that too. He said Betty did a lot of takes too so that was kind of unusual. He said it was a lot of fun though and he hasn't had that much fun since. That led into more movie audio where Howard was introduced to Pig Vomit for the first time.
Next up we heard Paul talking about how he remembers hearing Imus on the radio in the mid-70s. He said that's how he knew how to do the WNBC call letters.
Allison Janney talked about how that movie really launched his career. She said that he was genius in that part and he played it to perfection. Ivan Reitman also talked about how great he was in the movie. He said the scenes were very real and Paul was extraordinary. Howard said they really had some cast for that movie. Howard said his agent even wanted to sign Paul and represent him. He knew that he was going to be a huge star. Howard said Don went to Paul and Paul was very loyal to his people so he was going to stick with them. Howard said Don did recognize that he was going to be a big star. Howard said he was right and he's glad that Paul got his big break in ''Private Parts.''
Steve Grillo said that every scene that Paul did was great. He said he remembers telling Paul that he was going to explode after this. Grillo said he had to get a picture with him and he wanted it because he was so great.
They played another show clip where Howard was talking about all of the great people in his movie and how Paul Giamatti was up for an award for the movie ''Sideways.'' Howard talked about Mary McCormack and Allison Janney and even Edie Falco in the movie. Howard said Edie didn't even have a line to say in the movie. She was just sitting in the back seat of a car. Howard talked about how great Paul was in the movie and how much he liked all of his scenes. Howard said that Paul never even met Pig Virus and he played the part so well. Howard also talked about the real guy and how the name fit him so well. He said the guy really looked like a pig. Howard said he thinks that to this day he's still pig virus.
After that we heard from Paul Giamatti who said he didn't even know that this was a real guy he was playing. He said everyone kept telling him that he was like the real guy and then he felt bad about it. Betty Thomas said that he was playing a composite character and that was good because he was such a crazy character. She said she was worried that someone would get really mad. Howard said Paul became Kevin and he didn't even know Kevin. He said that Paul wore a big ring in the movie and he said he wore it because that's the kind of guy he pictured the guy being. He figured that wearing a big, douchey ring is what this guy would have done.
Fred talked about how Paul made the character downright charming compared to the real guy. Al Rosenberg said the same thing. He said there was a lot more to the real guy than there was in the movie. He said that the guy kept files on people and he spied on his DJs and things like that.
Mary McCormack said Paul is one of her favorite actors. She said that she thought that the real guy was running a shopping mall or something.
Jim Forbes said that wasn't exactly true and had some audio of the real Kevin Metheney talking about how great Paul was in the movie. He said he thought it was very well acted and Paul is a remarkable actor. He said he's doing it without the Brad Pitt looks too. They had some audio of Paul saying he's glad that Kevin liked it even though he made him look like an asshole.
Kevin said that the Kenny character is obviously a composite of a bunch of people. He said that if they had based it all on him then they would have had to have paid him. He said they didn't do that so it can't be based on fact. Kevin said that Paul was a guest on one of their shows in Cleveland and the host put him on the phone with Paul. Paul remembered that and said it was very awkward. Kevin said that Paul told him that he didn't know it was based on a real person. Paul said he remembers how awkward it was and how it was just bad radio that day. He said Kevin may remember it differently.
That led into another movie clip where Paul's character was flipping out on Howard and the guys for the dirty stuff they were doing on the radio.
Howard said he's glad that he didn't know who Paul was at the time. He said doing the scenes with him were effortless. Robin said that Paul captured the essence of the real Kevin. She said that he had spit flying out of his mouth and everything, just like Kevin. She wondered how he did it without ever meeting the guy.
Paul said he remembers Robin looking at him like he was out of his mind. Robin said she did feel that and she had that reaction to him on the set because he was yelling and screaming like the real thing. They played some of that yelling from the movie. Paul said he had complete license to go out of his mind so he had a lot of fun doing it. He said they encouraged him to just keep going at it.
Jim Forbes said that Jackie made his debut in that part of the movie. They had some audio of Jackie talking about how he had like 5 words in that scene and 4 of them were the word ''Pussy.'' That led into the scene that Jackie was talking about where they were playing ''Match Game'' at WNBC.
After that we heard Betty Thomas talking about that scene and how well it was acted and shot. She said that Howard knew exactly what he was doing and Paul was so great doing what he did. She said it was a great clash of Howard and the establishment. That scene was the movie.
Paul Giamatti talked about that scene and how nuts he got doing that. He said that Betty was pushing him to go even more nuts and he remembered seeing Robin getting more and more freaked out. He said she looked genuinely weirded out by him. He said it was just a movie scene though. He said it must have been weird for them to have some actor just coming in and yelling at them. That led into the audio from the movie where Paul's character yelled at Howard and the crew and then fired Robin.
We heard Howard talking about how that scene wasn't really true. He said that it was a different thing that happened when he got hired at NBC. He said that he wanted Robin there but they refused to hire her. He said he had to keep nagging them to get her there. He said that she wasn't hired there so that's really what happened. He said they came up with that firing to work it into the movie. Robin said they had to cover a lot of stuff in the movie and they had to figure out a way to do it. She said a lot of stuff is compressed for the movie. She said that Paul's character is a bunch of people compressed into one. They played some more audio where Howard and Robin were out on the street arguing after she got fired.
Robin talked about that scene where Howard gets her to come back and the audience let out a roar when he did it. She said that they really cared about them getting back together and it still floors her. She said it was amazing. They played the audio from that scene after that.
Jim Forbes talked about how Jenna Jameson played the first naked woman on radio. Fred talked about that scene and how there was a world of difference between Jenna and the real woman who got naked in the studio for the first time. He said he didn't want to name names though. Fred said there should be an Oscar for nude and Jenna would win. That led into the audio of that scene from the movie.
Next up we heard Howard talking about how there were some scenes in the movie that really got to him. They talked about the big fight with Pig Vomit and Howard where they were having a tug of war over the phone. Betty Thomas said that someone got hurt during that scene too. Paul said that Howard was very nervous he was going to hit him. He said that there were stunt men there for Howard but he did it himself live. They played the audio from that scene as well.
We heard from Gary who was talking about how he came in after that stuff. He said he just heard stories about that. Boy Lee Davis was there when it happened so we heard from him about it. Lee said that it was very accurate from what he remembers. They played another clip from the movie where Kenny comes to Howard's door and tells him that he's won in the ratings and he'll be there for him if he needs him. Howard ends up telling him ''fuck you.''
Jim Forbes said that the movie ends with the outdoor concert with AC/DC. We heard from Brian Johnson who said he had fun doing it other than the time he almost had his head blown off by some pyrotechnics. Howard talked about shooting that concert scene and how great it turned out. He said the song was so powerful and it made the whole scene.
Betty Thomas said she's not sure the band even knew who she was. She said that it was shocking that they were so small. She said she didn't know how to make them look bigger next to Howard. She said that Howard had to stay on the lower part of the stage but it was such a reveal for her. Betty said she couldn't figure out how to shoot it and make it look better.
Fred talked about how great they were that day and how they did play some live stuff. He thought they should have used that instead of the canned stuff. That led into that final scene of the movie where AC/DC played.
Jim Forbes said that the movie had some surprises in the ending credits. Stuttering John got a part in the end where he was talking to the camera as the credits rolled. They played some show audio where Howard was talking to John about how they might be able to get him into it. That led into the ending credits where John breaks in and talks about how pissed he is that he's not in the movie.
Howard talked about how he got Mia Farrow to appear in the ending credits too. They had some audio of Mia talking about how she's a fan of Howard's and what she does in the scene. They played the audio where she gives an Oscar to Howard Stern.
Jim said that the final words in the movie were delivered by Paul Giamatti. Paul said that wasn't even supposed to be in the movie. He said they just wrote it out for him at the last minute. He said they wanted him to say ''cunt'' and he really wanted to say it but the studio freaked out saying they can't say that. Betty said that is not true. She said that there is some controversy about that scene and she had to fight to keep it in there. She said she thought it was spectacular. They played some of the audio from that scene. They ended up throwing the jackhammer sounds in to cover him up saying ''cunt.'' They played that audio clip of Paul doing his rant about Howard after that and then went to break.
After that we heard a show clip where Howard talked about his movie being number one. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
Number One, Number One, Number One! 3/10/97. 6:05am
The King Of All Media is number one with just about everything he touches. Private Parts the movie was number one at the box office this past weekend pulling in an estimated $15.1 million! Not bad for someone that people love to hate. The soundtrack to the movie is also number one and of course his radio show is number one. What else could he ask for?
After that we heard Howard saying that after all was said and done he thinks the movie did about $80 million. He said that he wishes he could find another movie to do.
Next up we heard Howard talking about how it's going to take a while for that movie to make money. He said they wanted him to open for $100 million and it doesn't work like that. He said he's not sure what they want from him. He said he thinks the Daily News just want him to fail. He said that most people aren't friendly toward him. He said he's been getting letters from a lot of people about how great they think the movie is. He read some of that to the crew.
Next up we heard Ivan Reitman saying that the film did well but not overwhelmingly great. He said he thinks it under performed for what it deserved. He said that it may have felt too much like a radio documentary. Ivan said it may have felt smaller than the movie really was too. Betty Thomas said that Shari Lansing saw the movie and she came out and said that this was a $100 million movie. Betty said she didn't want her to say that to her because it was like a death thing. Betty said that Shari said there was no question that it was going to be $100 million. She said that if that's what they expected then the movie did under perform. Ivan talked about how they had a hard time getting past the committed Howard Stern audience at the time. He felt that the movie was a great introduction to Howard and it worked very well for him from that standpoint. Betty said that she's had people tell her that they would never see the movie. She said that some people just won't watch it because that's Howard's effect on the world.
Howard said that the movie has been on TV a lot and it's been exposed to a lot more people. He said if he had done a second movie he thinks that those people would have been there to see that. He said he's had a lot of scripts to read but doing a second movie is going to be hard to pull off. He said he's not really an actor so he doesn't have to do every shitty movie that comes across his desk. He said his fans will abandon him if he does do a shitty movie.
Betty talked about how Howard figured out how to make the movie funny and make it real. She said that you want to know more and more. She said that's exactly what Howard did.
Paul Giamatti said that he got work out of that role. He said he had a to of bit parts in movies before that but after that he was getting real roles. He said he got a lot more movie work after that and he hasn't had to do stage work that much since then. Paul said he got more comfortable and it changed everything for him.
Allison Janney said that she credits Howard for helping jump start her career. She said that Howard would take that credit too.
Mary McCormack said she got to show more of what she can do too. She said that she got a great friend out of it with Howard too. She said she knows that Howard would do anything for her. Mary said she has some great fans too thanks to the movie. She said that the fans are so good to her because Howard has been so good to her. She said it's been a treat to be a part of it.
Jim Forbes talked about Howard taking the movie to the Cannes Film Festival. Howard talked about going there to France and how interesting that was. Mary also talked about how interesting that was. Howard said the movie didn't do all that well over there in Europe but it did okay in England. Howard said he had a lot of people taking his picture there in France but no one even know who he was. He said he went on a TV show there and they had an interpreter there telling everyone what he was saying. He said the whole thing was nuts. Mary said he doesn't remember how the film went off over there.
Next up we heard a show clip where Howard talked about his trip to France and how much he hated it. Here's my write up from that day:
Howard Talks About His Trip To France. 5/19/97. 6:00am
Howard spent most of the morning talking about either his nightmare trip to France or about the Frank Gifford and Kathie Lee situation. For those of you who thought Howard had changed his mind about what he thinks of the French, you're wrong. He still hates them and their attitudes. While he was over there he met one of his favorite directors, Tim Burton. Burton directed the first Batman movie and Edward Scissor hands. Howard even admitted to Tim that he's trying to purchase the Scissor hands glove from the movie which is very unusual for Howard. He's not a collector of movie memorabilia but for some reason he wants this glove. Howard also went to Monaco while he was over there. He went to the Zoo if you can believe that. One thing Howard enjoyed about being over in France was that he could walk the streets without being mobbed by fans. He was able to enjoy the sights without being shoved into a limo by bodyguards.
After that we heard about Howard getting an award in the Czechoslovakian film festival. He was shut out of the Oscars. Ivan Reitman talked about how Paul deserved one for that role. Paul said he didn't think he did but the movie did help him out with his career. He said that it would have been so amazing if it had gotten nominated. He said he would have thanked Howard and Betty if he had ever won. He said that he did win an Emmy and he thought about thanking them then but it felt wrong doing it for TV. Paul said he swears that the part was one of the best he's ever played.
They played a show clip where Howard talked about winning that Czech film festival award. After that we heard Howard talking about winning a Blockbuster award too. He said that seemed impressive to him that the fans voted for him in that.
That led into a show clip with Howard talking about his plans for going to the Blockbuster awards. He planned on just going up, getting his award, saying thanks and then going back to his seat. He said he doesn't want to make a whole speech. Howard was joking about how he was going to do some stuff with Robert Duvall.
We heard from Robert Duvall about Howard and how entertaining he is. Howard talked about how he had never had an award before so he asked for Heather Locklear to present it to him. Howard said he called her and told her he was going to tackle her. She told him to do whatever he wanted. Howard said she invited him to come over and watch TV with her and her friends. Howard said he should have gone but he was too tired.
They played the audio from the Blockbuster Video Awards next. In that clip Heather announces Howard as the winner and Howard goes up on stage and says that he wanted to spend his time making out with her. That led into some show audio where Heather and Howard talked about that night as the audio from the awards was playing in the background.
After that we heard a show clip where Howard took a call from a guy who asked if there will be a sequel to the movie. Howard said he didn't want to go through that again. He said he would do another movie but not a sequel. Howard said he can't imagine doing that all over again. Howard said you work too much and never get any down time. He said he wanted to do Fartman but there's too much riding on it. He said he has the financing to do it but it's just too much.
Next up we heard Ivan talking about how he would have liked doing a sequel. He said it was great fun doing that movie. Ivan said he met with Howard a few times trying to find something for him to do. He said that on one hand he thought to continue the story from Private Parts. He said there were good stories to tell. Betty Thomas said she tries not to do things like that. She said that Howard changed dramatically since then. She said that his personal life changed and he might not have been the same guy that he was before the movie.
We heard a show clip where Howard was telling the guys about going on the Petey Green show and dressing in black face. He said that would have to be the opening of the sequel to the movie. Howard said that he'll never do a sequel though. He said that he's too lazy.
Paul Giamatti said that Howard could have done other characters even though he says he doesn't want to. Paul said he can understand why he wouldn't want to but he thinks he should have.
Ben and Ray Stern talked about how they think he would do another one if he had a good vehicle. Ray said that it takes a lot of time and effort to get it done. She said her son doesn't do anything halfway so it's a big undertaking.
Richard Roeper said that it's been too long and Howard should just do a fuckin' movie at some point. He thinks that he'd be good in it and he hopes that he does something one of these decades.
Rob zombie said he would put Howard in a movie if he wanted to be in one. He said that he wouldn't ask him to do it because he's a friend. He said he'd be great if he did one. He said the fact that he made the movie after doing a radio show all morning is an amazing feat to begin with.
Eli Roth said he could do Fartman in a quick Trailer Trash movie he's working on and Howard said he would do it. It would just be a trailer for the movie and he'd love to work with Howard.
Don Buchwald said that they've turned down a lot of movies where they wanted Howard to play himself. He said they didn't want to follow up that movie with another one with Howard playing himself. Howard did agree to do a movie with Melanie Griffith but that deal fell apart. That led to a show clip where Howard read a letter he got from Melanie. It was like a love letter to him. Howard said that he thought it was really her but Robin didn't think it was. She thought that someone else wrote it for her.
After that we heard Howard talking about how he could pull of a really good character in a film. He said he would change his look to do a part no problem.
They played another show clip where a caller asked if he was going to be playing Scarecrow in the new Batman movie. Howard said he was going to play that part and Batman was going to be played by Fred. The caller said he was wondering if that rumor was true. Howard said Jackie will play Alfred. He said they should shoot their own Batman. He said he'd be Scarecrow with no make up. Jackie would be the Butler and Fred would be Batman.
Ivan talked about how he didn't want to do anything super hero related with Howard. He said that's not what he felt Howard should be doing.
Don Buchwald said that they kept going back to Fartman and someone always wanted to produce it. He said they kept saying no to it for one reason or another.
J.F. Lawton said that he's often wondered why that movie hasn't been made. He said he thinks it's about the money.
Don said they had a deal that they were working on before the Sirius deal but they had a very small time frame to do it. He said that they had to back out but Robin Williams stepped in. He said that he thinks that maybe it would have done better if Howard was in it.
Howard said he's not sure if he'll ever do another film. He said he loved the whole experience and the idea of acting. He said you need a lot of practice though so it would take him time to get back up to speed. They went to break after that.
Scott the Engineer and Scott DePace talked about how they didn't know that they could do that. DePace said he was kind of turned off to sex when he saw the girls doing that. They played another show clip where Howard was talking to these queefers. Here's what I wrote that day:
The Vagina Fart Contest. 5/2/97. 7:55am
Howard found out that these vaginal farts have a name... Queef. Don't get pissed if I didn't spell it correctly because my spell checker doesn't have that word in it. So anyway four of these women who called in during the week came in today to play along to some songs and to have a Queef-off contest. Howard even had an audience of guys who paid some money to see this phenomenon. The 20 or so guys in the studio paid a total of about $1800 to come in. The 4 women get to split that money. The 4 women, Michelle, Susan, Dawn and Debbie, all called in at some point this week and demonstrated their talent. Howard talked with them for a short while and then got down to business. One of the women, while warming up, demonstrated how she could ''talk'' with her queefs. She farted out ''Baba Booey'' and ''Howard Stern''. One woman had to stand on her head to do her queefs. Once the women were warmed up Howard sang ''The Wind Beneath My Womb'' for the girls. Then after a little break it was time for a song called ''It's A Gas''. It's a song that was put out by Mad Magazine many years ago. It's basically just a guy who says ''It's a gas'' over some music then a silent break comes and you hear burping. Well Howard took the burping out so the girls could do their queefs instead. That's exactly what they did. After that they had a little contest to see who could do the best queef. Each woman gave it her best shot. After that the guys in the audience were asked to applaud for their favorite. Each woman took her turn, first it was Dawn then Debbie and then Susan, who just kept going for about a minute, then it was Michelle. The guys in the audience ended up choosing Dawn as the winner. They ended the whole thing by playing some classical music with the girls queefing along.
Steve Grillo said that he sent a half retarded letter to get his job so you do what you have to do to get Gary's attention.
Gary said that he liked KC right from the start. He said that their old office manager, Kathy Tobin, showed him the head shot and he told her to hire whoever she wanted. That led into a clip from the show where Howard introduced some of the interns and KC was one of them.
In the clip Howard was talking about their new interns and showed Robin the press photos that he had sent in with his resume. Robin thanked him for showing her. Howard said he figured she'd like him.
After that clip we heard KC talking about how great it was to hear them talking about him on the air like that. He said they said his name and they were talking about him on the show. He said it was cool meeting Grillo too so what does that say? KC said he was thinking that he might not be as much of a douche bag as he thought he was. He said it took him a few years before he realized that he really was. Steve Grillo said that KC and Benjy took his place there so he had to train both of them.
Jim said that KC got his first job on the show pretty soon after joining. that led to KC talking about how he went to the Marv Albert press conference. He said he had to do what they asked him to do. He wasn't sure when to yell the questions but he went and did it. He said he remembers the questions and how the people looked at him like his armpit had just taken a shit. He said he yelled out the first one and knew he wouldn't take more so he just yelled them all out and made a mockery of the whole press conference. He said he had a whole new respect for Stuttering John after that. It's tough to have a whole room of people hating you. That led into the show clip where Howard played the audio of KC going to the press conference. Here's what I wrote that day:
KC Interviews Marv Albert. 5/23/97. 7:15am
Since Stuttering John is so recognizable nowadays Howard is sending out interns to do the interviewing. Last night KC The intern went to the Marv Albert press conference and yelled out a couple of questions. He didn't get any response from Marv because he's not supposed to answer any questions. Marv has been accused of biting some woman's back about 15 times. He held the press conference to deny the charges. Here are some of the questions that KC blurted out:
They interrupted that clip with audio of KC talking about what a surreal moment it was for him to be in the studio. He said he also remembers Howard asking him questions about banging a black chick and things like that and he handled it like he was on a job interview. He said he was never totally honest. They played more of that KC segment after that.
Jim wrapped up and said they'd have more coming up but also mentioned Stacy Rucker's ''I Want More Howard Stern'' song. We heard from Gary about Stacy and how she sings in a monotone. He said they played it on the air a few times and then had her in the studio to perform it live. They played the song behind Gary as he talked about that and then ended the segment and went to break.
They moved into a segment where Howard was playing the Homeless Game for the first time. Here's what I wrote that day:
Game Day! 7/22/97. 7:20am
Today was game day all right. Howard had some prizes to give away so they played some games. The first game was called ''Try to figure out what the homeless guy is going to do''! Howard had tape of interviews with homeless people. The goal for the contestant is to guess what the homeless guy's answer will be. If the contestant gets 3 out of 10 questions right then he wins a round trip ticket to Los Angeles on Tower Air. The first contestant won. He got his three answers correct after 4 of the questions. Here are some of those questions:
After that we heard from Doug Goodstein who used to go out on interviews with Stuttering John. Then we heard from KC who said that he was the first one to go out and do the homeless game, not John. He said that they didn't know it was going to be as big as it was. KC said that they asked him to go out and ask the question and he got 10 bucks to give to the homeless guy. He said he got chased by one guy who growled at him. He said that some of them were pretty smart too. that's coming from a guy who got a 710 on his SATs though.
Scott the Engineer said they made games out of anyone they could get wacky answers out of. He said that idea got ripped off too.
That led into another show clip where Howard played a Stripper Game. Here's what I wrote that day:
The Stripper Game. 5/1/98. 8:30am
The stripper game is just like the homeless game except it's a stripper being interviewed instead of a homeless person. Howard didn't want to play the full game today so he was going to play just 3 of the questions and answers. Obviously he couldn't resist playing more as you can see below. He played the first few but then said he was going to play just one more and let the answer hang over the weekend. Each question was too good to leave over the weekend so he just kept playing them. Everyone was betting on them as they went along too. Each answer was a bigger surprise than the next. This poor stripper just couldn't answer the questions. At one point Benjy the Intern came in to defend the stripper. He said that she really wasn't stupid. Gary said Benjy was blinded by her beauty. There are still more questions after these so Howard will probably play them on Monday.
|What is paper made from?||Trees||Y|
|Who was the first President of the USA?||Lincoln||N|
|Use the word Plethora in a sentence.||Your plethora is located on the bottom right side of your..||N|
|Who is the Vice President of the U.S.?||Perrot||N|
|How much does a NY subway token cost?||Sixty five cents||N|
|Name one borough in New York.||Brooklyn||Y|
|What is a carnivore?||A warm blooded animal||N|
|Where does pork come from?||Mushroom||N|
|New York City is known as the big what?||Apple||Y|
|How many dimes are in a dollar?||Ten||Y|
|What vegetable are pickles made from?||Marinated from a grape||N|
|How many members were in the Beatles?||Five||N|
|What is the drinking age in NY?||Twenty one||Y|
|How many cards are in a deck?||Fifty six||N|
|Name the two most popular political parties in America.||Presidential Party and.. I don't know||N|
|Name one food considered poultry.||Chicken||Y|
After that segment we heard Jim talking about how they came up with another game which was a Crackhead Bob game. They played a show clip when they played that game. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
The Crackhead Bob Game. 5/18/98. 8:20am
Here's another game Howard and the gang came up with. They have Crackhead Bob saying everyday sayings like ''That's all she wrote''. Of course Bob is very hard to understand most of the time so you really have to concentrate on what he's saying. Howard has people call in and try to guess what Bob is saying. Some of the sayings were really hard to understand. Like when Bob said ''That's all she wrote'' it sounded like ''Doubs dawl de dwote''. Here are the lines he said:
After that segment we heard Gary talking about how they found out that Homeless people were much more unpredictable. He said you'd have arguments during the game wondering how they'd answer. He said they'd know oddball answers and that's why it worked. Gary said they started interviewing celebrities too and found out they didn't know much either. That led to them playing a clip from the show where they played a Bret Michaels game. Here's my write up from that day:
Celebrity Knowledge Game. 5/20/98. 8:45am
This game is always fun. Sometimes it's a homeless person, sometimes it's a stripper. Today it was two celebrities getting an I.Q. Test from Gary Garver. Garver does interviews for Howard out in California. He got interviews with singer/actor/director Brett Michaels former lead singer for Poison. He also got an interview with actress Tanya Roberts who used to be on the ''Charlie's Angels'' TV show. Howard, Robin, Jackie, Fred and Stuttering John were wagering on whether or not the celebrity would get the answer correct. Here are Bret's questions and answers:
|How many pencils are in a gross?||I could say 24, 12 or 124||N|
|What is the state capital of New York?||Albany||Y|
|Who was the Soviet leader during World War II?||No idea||N|
|What planet has rings around it?||Saturn||Y|
|Who was the inventor of the Polio vaccine?||No idea||N|
|Who was the oldest signer of the declaration of independence?||Ben Franklin||Y|
|Who wrote ''The Ugly Duckling?''||No idea||N|
After that segment we heard Howard talking about how he got a call from a production company asking if he wanted to turn that game into a TV show. He said he turned it down but it ended up on TV anyway. That led into a show clip where Howard talked about ''Street Smarts'' which was their Homeless Game. Here's what I had in my archives:
The ''Street Smarts'' Rip Off. 11/1/00. 7:35am
A woman called in this morning and brought up the TV show ''Street Smarts'' which is a direct rip-off of Howard's Homeless Game. Howard went on to say that once again one of his ideas was ripped off and now it's burnt out by poor production. He said that he's going to have to sue these people for ripping him off but he doesn't want to have to do that. He said the show won't last and it'll be off the air soon. That means that he'll never be able to do produce his own version because they'll have ruined it for him. He said they need to have a certain type of person being interviewed and they're not doing it the right way on that show.
Next up we heard Robin talking about the crazy betting they'd get into on the air. She said that she sees how people lose their houses in Vegas. She said she would never do that in a casino but it's so easy to get carried away with friends in the studio. That led into a show clip where Robin was down by $800 in bets with Howard. They took it from there. Here's my write up from that day:
The Stripper Knowledge Game. 5/3/01. 9:15am
(Edited) Howard and Robin continued the game betting on some of the questions. By question 12 Robin owed Howard about $300. By question 14 it was up to $800 due to a couple of double-or-nothing bets. By question 19 she was up to $1200! She bet half and all of a sudden she was up to $1800! As the game went on she won a little and then lost a couple more times and went back up to $1800. Then on the second to last question she bet it all... and lost! She now owes Howard $3600! Robin said her betting days are now over. Howard said he has to collect the money or the whole thing would have been pointless. Howard said he's going to use the money to pay Crazy Cabbie and Angry Black for their fight last week. Here are the rest of the questions:
|How many candles are on a Minora||Twelve||N|
|What letter comes after Y in the alphabet?||Z||Y|
|Who invented the light bulb?||Thomas Edison||Y|
|How many states are in the USA?||Fifty||Y|
|What President spent more than 2 terms in office?||Kennedy||N|
|What President is on the $5 bill?||Jefferson||N|
|Who was the third President of the US?||Jefferson||Y|
|How many senators are in the Senate?||Seventy two||N|
|How many senators represent each state?||One||N|
|What is the square root of 64?||Eight||Y|
|What is the capital of California?||Los Angeles||N|
|What is the capital of New York?||Manhattan||N|
|What is the capital of Maryland?||Baltimore||N|
|What is 20% of $200?||Point two oh||N|
|What temperature is freezing?||Thirty two degrees||Y|
|Name both New York Senators.||D'Amato and.. I don't know the other||N|
|What is the sun, a moon, planet, star or plant?||Star|
|What month are taxes due?||April 15th||Y|
|How many holes are in a game of golf?||Eighteen||Y|
|How many people are in a quartet?||Four||Y|
|How did JFK Jr. Die?||He was assassinated by James Earl Ray||N|
|What food group is corn in?||It's a starch but it's considered a vegetable||Y|
|What number is Black Jack?||Eight||N|
|How many clitorises do you have?||One||Y|
|How many weeks are in a year?||Sixty four||N|
|What name is Abe short for?||Abraham||Y|
|Name the pro basketball team in New Jersey.||Knicks||N|
|How many days are in a year?||360 or maybe 362 or 364||N|
|What animal is Pork?||Pig||Y|
After that they wrapped up The History of Howard Stern and ended it around 11:30am.
After that we heard Gary Dell'Abate talking about how they were on in Toronto and Montreal at the same time. They told him that they'd work in Toronto but Montreal would be different. Robin was also talking about that experience and how Howard was being very anti-France so it didn't go over very well up there. She said she thinks they were thrown out immediately up there.
That led into a show clip where Howard was talking about being on up there. He said there are people going crazy up there trying to stop it from happening. He said that they may last 2 or 3 days up there. Howard said the biggest scumbags are the French up there. Howard said they were the first to cave into the Nazis and that's what's going on up there in Montreal. Howard said that they're upset with his show and how he could be taking work away from Canadians. He said that the English speaking people are welcome but not the French. Howard welcomed everyone that was listening on CHOM which Gary said was pronounced ''Shome'' but Howard refused to pronounce it that way. He said it's just going to be Chom. Howard said that they're on in Toronto as well.
After that clip we heard Gary talking about how Howard wrapped himself in a Canadian flag and that caused a bit of uproar. Tom Chiusano also said that Howard got into some trouble for talking about ethnicities. He said that Howard had to worry about that and the rules there in the United States. Robin said that you're not allowed to say certain things about people like retarded people so he got into trouble for that and it was a very short but successful experience in Canada.
Howard talked about how they have a thing called People Meter up there and they were number one the day they started up there according to the people meter. Howard said they figured that people wouldn't be able to handle his show up there though. He said they got thrown off not long after.
Don Buchwald said that Howard became the biggest thing that Canada had ever had. He said that there was nothing like it in Canada. Then came the backlash. He said that there was condemnation and people getting up in their congress and blasting away at the world's worst person, his client, Howard Stern.
They played a clip of Howard talking about the press conference they were doing for Montreal that morning. Howard took a call from a Canadian who was listening up in Toronto. That was their first caller from Toronto.
We heard from Fred about what was going on up there and why they may have been kicked off. He said he's not sure if they were editing the show but why not just let it play. He said you can't regulate speech. Howard also said that they just can't handle him up there. Howard said he thinks it had more to do with politics. He said that they can't stand Americans for some reason. Howard said he thinks the other radio stations freaked out about that. He said there wasn't a lack of support from the audience up there.
They played the audio from the press conference after that. Here's some of what I wrote back then:
The Stern Show Has Gone International. 9/2/97. 6:10am
It's now official. Howard is broadcasting into Canada in Montreal and Toronto as of this morning. The show has gone international! Howard sounded pretty happy about it but there's already controversy up there. People have already started writing to the Canadian equivalent to the FCC here in the US. It looks like this experiment may be a bumpy ride. Howard also said that people in Toronto tried to stop the deal there.
Montreal Press Conference. 9/2/97. 8:45am
The first Canadian press conference went off pretty well this morning. It was pretty much like every other press conference that Howard has. The press asked the same dumb questions as the press here in the states do. Howard handled himself well though. Howard says that Canadians are just like people here in the United States. They enjoy the same TV shows so why not Radio?
Howard Speaks To Dr. Remulak. 11/14/97. 7:35am
You may be wondering who the hell Dr. Remulak is. Well he's a guy who calls the radio station and just keeps repeating ''I am Dr. Remulak'' over and over again. The guy has been doing this for about 5 years. He's never tried to get on the air and the only reason he came on the air today was because Stuttering John convinced him to. Dr. Remulak usually gets Stuttering John on the phone when he calls in but sometimes he'll get one of the interns or Steve Grillo. He won't say anything except ''I am Dr. Remulak'' to them. The guy has been talking to Stuttering John a little bit so he found out that the guy has OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He has to do things a certain number of times before he can continue the rest of his day. He spent about 5 minutes on the phone with Howard but wouldn't speak directly to him. Stuttering John had to relay the questions from Howard. He slipped a couple of times and answered a couple of questions from Robin and Howard. Robin asked him what would happen if he didn't call the show and do this. He responded ''..big zits...'' and went on to his ''I am Dr. Remulak'' rant. He's not annoying, he just repeats himself constantly. Dr. Remulak said his thing a bunch of times real quick before hanging up so he could move on with his day. It was pretty damn funny.
After that clip we heard KC Armstrong talking about how he had this guest on called the Singing Psychic. He said she would give ridiculous predictions all the time. KC said that he'd ask her ridiculous questions and she'd sing her answers and then he'd yell at her. We heard from Fred about her too. He said she would come up with really lame lyrics to the songs she would sing. He said she wasn't a good singer or a good predictor but she seemed to have a good heart. That led into a show clip where Howard was talking to the Singing Psychic. Here's what I wrote that day:
The Singing Psychic Answers Some Questions. 3/20/97. 8:25am
This woman, Fran Baskerville, called in back in February for the first time. There was such good feedback that Howard decided to have her on again. She claims to have found over 4000 missing children around the world. She now has her own private investigation business. This time Howard and the crew all had questions for her. Here are some of the questions that were asked:
|Will Liz Taylor die soon?||I'd say yes...I don't know how she's hung on so long...|
|Will President Clinton lose his sexual harassment suit?||I'd say yes... and there's a lot more coming up for him...|
|Will Robin ever get reunited with her bathroom lover?||Not yet.. maybe in 10 years...|
|Will Howard ever have sex with a woman other than his wife?||Yes.. He loves his wife but he's hard to hold on to..|
|Will Fred ever get oral favors from his wife?||Yes...yeah, yeah, yeah|
|Will Charles Grodin ever show his bald head?||Not unless Howard pulls off his wig...|
After that we heard Jim talking about Crazy Alice. That led into Robin talking about Alice and how she used to be on the show much more often and now she doesn't call in so much. Robin said that Alice had been on the show and even came in and visited. Robin said that Alice used to tell them that she was just an angry person and she couldn't help herself. Robin said that she misses Alice now. That led into a show clip where Howard spoke to Crazy Alice in the studio. Here's an excerpt from my archives:
Alice, The Black Woman Who Dislikes Black People. 10/7/97. 9:20am
This woman called in a couple of months ago. She said that even though she's black herself she doesn't like black people. She came into the studio today to tell her story. Actually it was YELL her story. Howard kept putting people on the phone with Alice and they'd say something to her and she'd go nuts yelling at them. It was pretty funny. Basically Alice doesn't like black people because she's been ripped off by black people during her life. There was a pretty funny story that Scott Einziger had to tell. Scott was in the men's bathroom when he heard a sound next to him. It turned out to be Alice! She was in the men's room. She said something like ''..damn it, this is the men's room?...I've done this before...''. She said that she was sleepy and that she didn't know which bathroom she was in. She had done it once before when she was younger also. Scott also said that she was on her period so he saw things that he shouldn't have. One caller was chanting voodoo stuff to Alice but she just yelled at the guy so you could barely hear it. Before she left she cried about losing her mother and father and sister. She didn't say how she lost them but she wept for a couple of minutes. Howard just laughed.
Next up we heard Jim talking about what a good year it was for Wack Packers. In 1997 they also met High Pitch Eric. We heard from Gary about their first experience with Eric. That led into a show clip where Howard had Eric on the show. Here's what I wrote that day:
Eric The 6'1'', 275 Pound Mouse. 8/15/97. 6:30am
This guy (High Pitch Eric) called in this morning for some reason. Howard said that the guy stands outside of the radio station telling him that he can do interviews and stuff like that. The guy is 6'1'' tall and weighs 275 pounds but his voice sounds like Mickey Mouse. It sounds like he's doing a fake voice but he's not. He kind of sounds like he's doing a Jackie The Joke Man impression. Howard invited him down to the studio. Maybe we have another Wack Pack member here. He came in about 8:25. He said he's never gotten laid. Howard said that he's not that bad looking, it's just his voice that must freak women out. He could have had his voice fixed with an operation but he'd have to be awake for the surgery. He was at some appearance that Gary was making and Gary thought the guy was retarded at first. Today he's more normal according to Gary. Howard took a couple of phone calls from women who were willing to date him. Eventually they found a wacky woman by the name of Pipi. She says she used to be a slut but she's not anymore. She's 5'3'' tall, 110 pounds with a 36 DD chest. The two of them will go out on a date and have it taped. They'll be back on at a future date. Before he left he tried inhaling helium to see if his voice would change...it didn't the first time but after they told him how to do it correctly it changed slightly. Rosie Perez came in so he left.
Next up we heard Craig Gass talking about how Eric scared the shit out of him. He said he got an email from Eric shortly after he was on the show and Eric wanted to meet him the next day after he said he would like to meet him some day. He said he got email after email asking him to set up the meeting on the show.
Jerry O'Connell also said that some of the Wack Packers have to get their shit together. He said someone like Eric always has problems getting evicted and things like that. He said part of him wants to help but he can't bring himself to do it.
Gary talked about how Eric once showed up on Z-100 after being on their show and that was one of the first no-nos that he did. They had to punish him on the show and Howard told him he had to spank him. He said that was one of the gayest things he's ever seen on the show.
Howard didn't even remember doing that spanking. He said that's disgusting and he has to hear a tape of that... right now. They played that clip next. Here's what I wrote that day:
Howard Punishes High Pitched Eric. 2/25/98. 8:35am
The other day Howard found out that High Pitched Eric had gone on another New York radio station. This pissed Howard off so he felt he had to punish him somehow. It may not have been the best idea but Howard decided to spank H.P. Eric. Eric came in this morning to take his punishment but he seemed a little too eager to get the spanking. When Howard called him over to spank him he didn't hesitate to pull down his pants. By the way, Howard was wearing a glove. So Howard asked Eric when his last bowel movement was so he wouldn't be surprised by anything. Eric said it was this morning but he'd showered after it. Howard had Eric bend over and he spanked him a couple of times but it looked so gay that he didn't do it for long. Eric said it hurt but he seemed to almost enjoy it. That wasn't quite enough punishment for him so later in the show when a woman called in offering to date Eric Howard told him that he was just going to hang up on her to punish him. Well it didn't really matter because the woman was part of another Sal The Stockbroker phony phone call. Eric says that he will never do another radio show. He got to spend the rest of the morning just hanging out in the studio. What kind of punishment is that?
Jim Forbes said they had more coming up after the break but first they played Fiona Apples performance of ''Criminal.''
Web Site Of The Day. 9/18/97. 6:55am
Howard's web site of the day, www.realdoll.com, features silicone mannequins that look and feel like real women. Howard wants to get one to see just how good they are. The one that he wants, ''Stacy'', would cost close to $5,000! Howard spent a hell of a lot of time on this site reading all about the dolls and the features you can get. A little later in the show bloated attorney Dominic Barbara called in. Howard wants him to purchase the doll and bring it down to the station. Dominic checked out the dolls and said that he'd send someone from his office to Chicago to pick up the doll. Then he said he'd sit her in the seat next to him on the airplane. When the doll arrives I'll let you know. If you visit the site today it may be a little slow. After Howard announced the URL the site was overwhelmed with visitors.
After that we heard Howard talking about why he wanted that doll. He said someone turned him on to the web site and he figured it was perfect for the show. Brian Phalen also talked about the doll and how you can have your way with it in any way you want. Howard said he was fascinated that people actually used these things for real. He said he had to be a part of it.
They played more of that segment where Howard talked about it for the first time. He read some of the testimonials from the web site where customers talked about how great the dolls were. He read the FAQ off the web site and eventually got to the pricing.
After that we heard Tom Chiusano talking about how he wasn't looking forward to getting the doll. He said that the FCC has rules about what they can talk about and how descriptive they can get. He said they were picking a topic that was problematic to begin with. Tom said it was happening on a daily basis too. That led into a show clip where they got the Real Doll. Here's what I had in my archives:
The Real Doll Arrives!? 11/7/97. 6:20am
First thing this morning Howard heard that the Real Doll he ordered over a month ago had finally come in. The giant casket sized box was brought into the studio so they could unveil the new toy. The box was padlocked and nailed shut. Gary unlocked the padlock and opened up the box. The doll was wrapped in plastic so Howard told him to lift her out. All of a sudden Howard freaked out because the doll's eyes opened. Then she moved! It wasn't the Real Doll after all. It was a real woman pretending to be the doll. Jackie and Doug from E! came up with the idea to scare the crap out of Howard. It worked. Later in the show they unveiled the real Real Doll.
During that we heard from Mike Gange and Ralph Cirella about how they came up with this idea to put a real woman in the crate and have her get up when they opened the box up. Gange said they put this girl in there for a little while and then wheeled it in and Howard was staring into this crate talking about how real this girl looked. He jumped when the girl moved. Doug Goodstein and Steve Grillo also talked about that joke. Howard didn't appreciate that joke so much. They stoped pulling pranks on Howard after that.
After playing that we heard from William Shatner who got to see the Real Doll up close. Doug Goodstein also talked about how real it looked and how some of the guys actually had sex with it. That led into another show clip where Howard saw the real Real Doll.
Howard Plays With The Real Doll & William Shatner Comes In. 11/7/97. 7:30am
Howard had the Real Doll to play with so he and the rest of the gang were feeling it and sticking their fingers in her openings. Robin said that the hands looked a little strange but Howard didn't care. He thought that the thing looked really great. He said that it feels strange but good. He didn't have sex with the doll today but said he'd probably do it on Monday. He did kiss the doll though. When Ralph told him that the mouth felt really good Howard decided to check it out up close and personal. He said that he didn't tongue her but just kissed her on the mouth. William Shatner walked into the studio during the doll molesting. I guess he wanted to see what the hell was going on. He seemed a little stunned by the whole thing. The were throwing around a few names for the new doll but none of them stuck with her. Howard had a letter from the designer of the doll so he read that and eventually moved on to the William Shatner stuff. Shatner was in to plug his new book ''Quest For Tomorrow; In Alien Hands''. So much was going on that Howard kept Shatner around for the Mike Walker game.
After that we heard from Gary who said they were doing really weird stuff to that doll. He said things were getting really weird at home for him because of that and some other stuff they were doing. He had to step out from actually having sex with the doll. He said he had no moral problem doing it but he had to back out. Jackie the Joke Man also backed out. He said he was curious but he should have just gone in the room and done it. He said he didn't get his penis measured either. He said he just came up with a random number when he went in the room with that girl.
We heard from Howard talking about how he got oral from the Real Doll and it was horrible. He said you have to lube it up and it was just awful. He said it's hard to get an erection over a piece of rubber. He doesn't remember if he blew a load or not. He said he may have said he did but he might have just been talking. That led to the clip from the show where Howard had sex with the doll. Here's what I wrote that day:
Howard Finally Has Sex With His Real Doll! 11/17/97. 9:30am
Yes folks, Howard finally had sex with his Real Doll. He's also settled on the name ''Celine Cohn'' for her. A guy called in and asked Howard if he was ever going to do anything to the doll. That got Howard motivated to do it so he took it into his personal bathroom. He got it positioned just right so he could use the doll's mouth for his pleasure. Gary brought in some lubricating gel and Howard did his thing. He was trying to do it and said that he was having fun but then he said that he wanted to finish off during a commercial break. They took the break and when they came back Howard said that he finished and it was the best sex he'd ever had! He asked Jackie and Fred if they wanted to try it but they refused. They'd said that they would do it when they first got the doll but now they've changed their minds. Fred said he'd think about it tonight and maybe try it tomorrow. No one believed that Howard even did anything to the doll. He swore that he did and it was better than a real woman.
After that clip we heard KC Armstrong talking about how people would ask about the doll and if they actually had sex with it. He heard they did but he didn't know they actually did. He said that's pretty gross.
Fred said he did attempt to have sex with it but it wasn't very easy. He said that there were people in the other room so it was very hard to get it done. Fred said he did his best to make it happen but it wasn't easy. He said the thing was heavy and it was probably like having sex with a comatose woman or something.
Ronnie the Limo Driver also talked about how he threw it over the sink so he didn't have to fight with it. He said it was difficult and that thing was heavy. He said it weighed a ton. Fred said that it was a one time use kind of thing. He said it will not replace the real thing.
We heard from Tom Arnold who said that it was very weird that Fred tried to fuck that doll. He was there. Tom said that whole thing was very strange. That led into the show clip where Fred was in the bathroom with the doll during Tom's interview. Here's what I had in my archives:
Tom Arnold Comes In/Fred Has Sex With The Real Doll. 11/18/97. 8:55am
(Edited) Tom also talked a little bit about Roseanne's multiple personalities. Meanwhile Fred was in the bathroom trying to have sex with the Real Doll. Howard checked in with him a couple of times to see how it was going. Fred was wearing a t-shirt and socks to do the deed. He tried to finish with the doll and he even wore a condom. When he was all done he said that he couldn't finish because it wasn't turning him on so he had to finish with his hand! The Real Doll laid on the bathroom floor for the rest of the show. Howard said it looked like someone raped her.
After that clip we heard Ronnie the Limo driver talking about how some people refused to do the doll. He said he was married at the time but he didn't feel he was cheating. He said he bent her over the sink and banged the shit out of her. He said it was fun. Doug Goodstein said that Ronnie did her in the ass too. He said that most guys wouldn't bang a piece of rubber but Ronnie did. That led into the show clip where Ronnie was in the process of doing the doll. Here's what I had in my archives:
Ronnie The Limo Driver Does The Real Doll. 11/21/97. 9:30am
Howard's limo driver, Ronnie Mund, wanted a chance at banging the Real Doll. Since there's only one input left to mess with he got stuck with it. Howard sent him into the bathroom and had the doll bent over the sink so Ronnie could access the third input. In the meantime Howard and Scott The Engineer making bets (See next story). Howard would go to Ronnie once in a while to see how he was doing. He did better than Fred did the other day. He was actually able to finish himself off with the doll. He said that he might be able to enjoy it better if he wasn't right next to a bunch of people who kept interrupting him. So the Real Doll has been soiled by three people. Does anyone else dare go near the thing? Who knows.
As that clip was playing we heard from Brian Phelan and Ronnie about that day. Brian said he believes that Ronnie did the doll but he's not sure about Fred and Howard. Ronnie also talked about how tough it was to do that in the bathroom.
Brian Phelan said they had Isaac Mark working there and he was a production assistant at the time. He said his job was to clean out the doll after it was used. He said that Gary was giving a tour that day and Isaac was in the bathroom cleaning the doll when Gary brought people in on the tour. Gary talked about how he thinks it was a client that came up with him. He said that everyone wanted to see Howard's bathroom because they had naked pictures on the back of the door. Gary said it was one of the cool parts of the tour. Gary said he opened the door and Isaac was sitting in a chair with the doll's legs over his shoulders and he had a toilet brush that he was cleaning the vagina with. Gary said he asked him what he was doing and Isaac said he was just cleaning the doll. The clients took a picture of him doing his thing. He said they sent him the picture and they kept it for years after.
Brian Phelan said that they went to a birthday party one night and they wanted the doll there. He said he had to carry the doll to the party himself. He said he carried it down to his car and people were thinking he killed someone. He said he was driving her around in his car and people were wondering what the fuck was with him. He said it was like his date that night.
Howard said that the doll started to decay and fall apart. Ronnie said they threw it out in the garbage and her heard was hanging out of the can. He said he got his piece but he didn't take it home with him.
After that we heard Jim introducing Aerosmith's performance of ''Pink'' that they did live in the studio. They went to break after that.
After that clip we heard Scott talking about that day and how overweight he was at the time. He explained how the whole thing came up and how they took bets on it. He said he was in terrible shape at the time. Gary also talked about that and said that Scott was really out of shape at the time. They asked him to show how many they could do. They played a clip from the show. Here's my write up from that day:
How Many Push-ups Can Scott The Engineer Do? 11/13/97. 7:05am
Yesterday the whole gang got into a discussion about how many push-ups Scott The Engineer could possibly do. They took bets on it and ran out of time to do it so today Scott had to show his strength or lack of strength as the case may be. Some people thought he would be able to do as many as 5 or more. Well the time came and Scott got down on the floor and attempted to do a few. He managed to do 2 before collapsing on the floor like a beached whale. Stuttering John seemed to think that Scott needed some type of incentive to do more. They eventually offered him $5000 if he could manage 5 push-ups. He made his attempt and came up 2 ½ short. He failed once again. Even the $5000 couldn't do it for him.
After that clip we heard Jim Forbes talking about how Stuttering John hatched a plan. Scott the Engineer talked about how if he had worked out he could get it up to 15. He said he thought he could do that many but Stuttering John didn't think so. He said that he didn't think he could do 20 but 15 was close. He said John bumped it up to 17. We heard from John who was saying that he used to try to help Scott at times and that was one of the things he helped him out with. John said that he brought it up on the air and it took off from there. They played another show clip where they were talking about that.
After that we heard Jim Forbes talking about how the bets kept getting higher and higher as time went by. That led into another show clip where they put up the money for the 17 push-ups. Here's my write up from that segment:
Scott The Engineer's $25,000 Bet. 11/21/97. 9:35am
Scott The Engineer recently attempted to do a couple of push-ups. He could only manage to do 2. He now claims that by January 1, 1998 he'll be able to do 17. Howard made a bet with him that he won't be able to do it. Howard put up $25,000 to Scott's $2,500. If Scott wins the bet he'll win $25,000!!! That's a hell of a motivation huh? He has about a month and a half to go from 2 push-ups to 17. He thinks he can do it and I believe that he actually has a guy coaching him. Howard is looking forward to coming back from Christmas Vacation now. He was even thinking about putting this on a pay-per-view special. Don't count on that happening but it was an idea that passed through Howard's head.
After that clip we heard Scott talking about all of the bets and how the money got up to $31,000 to do 17 push-ups. Gary said that everyone was throwing in money and Scott took it very seriously and went to a trainer. Steve Grillo said he begged him to go to a trainer. He said he knows how to get people to do push-ups. He said that Scott said he was going to go with this famous trainer Radu instead of with him. Scott said that someone from Radu's staff was listening and he was the trainer to the stars. He was right down the block and they offered to train him for free. He said he had 6 weeks so he wanted to see what he could do.
We heard from Radu who talked about what he did with Scott that first day. Scott got in the starting position and he broke in the middle of the first one like a girl. Radu said he told Scott to try again and it was even worse. Radu said he wasn't going to take the challenge and compromise his reputation. He said if he could do just one he would do it. Scott convinced him to please help so he changed his mind. He went up and spoke to Howard and had him define a push-up to him. He said Howard cracked up about it. He said it was very simple so he figured he could help Scott. He said he told him to just collapse on the floor on his way down and then figure out a way to propel him up. Then he took the challenge to help Scott.
Howard said they defined what the push-up was and it was pretty simple. He doesn't remember having a conversation with Radu about it though. We heard from Fred about that too. He said that Scott should have planned to do 25 instead of just 17.
Steve Grillo said that this guy had Scott going off on a total tangent training Scott. He wasn't training him to do push-ups and he tried to talk to Scott about that. He said he insisted on staying with the guy. Steve said that if you train to do push-ups then you can do them. He said Radu had Scott doing weight training and that had Scott in trouble. He said he didn't train him to do push-ups until a week before the competition. He just sat back and waited for Scott to fail. Pat Manocchia talked about how you do have to train to do push-ups but Scott may have become more fit from the training.
They played a show clip where Howard was talking to Scott about his work outs and how he wasn't even doing push-ups yet. Scott told Howard he's weight training and hadn't even done any push-ups yet. They talked about how Scott was going to be walking down the street naked. Scott said there's no way that's going to happen. He said he's just telling them the facts. Here's more from my archives:
Scott The Engineer Push-up Update. 12/2/97. 6:20am
Howard was talking to Scott about the upcoming push-up event in January where Scott has to do 17 push-ups for a total of $31,000 in bets. Scott hired a new trainer by the name of Radu. Apparently the guy has trained some celebrities and has done a great job. Scott is really pumped for this thing and he's been working out preparing for it. Later in the show Scott's old trainer, George, called in. He told Howard how Scott dumped him for the new guy. He said that Scott told him that E! had hired Radu to train him. Scott denied that he ever told George that but Howard and Robin seemed to believe George. The big day will be in January after the show's Christmas vacation.
After that clip we heard Gary talking about how Scott was losing weight but he wasn't getting toned. He said he came in one day looking like he had lost weight but not gained any muscle. Ronnie the Limo Driver talked about how Scott was always up around that time and that just wasn't Scott. He said he's like that now but he's still dead. Ronnie said Scott was like someone was shooting him in the ass with steroids or something so it was pretty funny. Fred said that you want to root for Scott but he's got this dullness about him. He said he's got a lot to overcome. Fred said he has a soft spot for Scott because he really is a good guy.
Scott talked about the intense training he had then and how he had just quit smoking like 6 months earlier. He said he trained for 3-4 hours a day. He was doing anything and everything to lose weight and gain muscle. He said it wasn't easy.
Radu said he had 2 months to train Scott and he had 2 or 3 trainers. They were training him for 2-3 hours a day. Radu said he was doing all kinds of things to help Scott lose weight. He was throwing the medicine ball to him and things like that to give him that kind of explosive power in his arms.
Richie Wilson said that it just can't happen that fast. It's like those ads in the magazines where they claim they can give you abs in just weeks. Scott said he was very nervous about the whole thing. Radu said he dedicated his whole life to it and that's why he was able to do it. Ronnie said he saw Radu up there recently and he was looking pretty fat.
That led into a show clip where Howard talked to Scott about the challenge again. In the clip Scott was bragging about his weight loss. He was down to 241 pounds from 265 at that point. Scott was all excited about that and yelling about how he was going to be able to do the 17. They had a song parody about him doing 17 to the tune of a Frank Sinatra song. Howard told Scott he's still a loser and he'll always be one.
After that we heard from Doug Goodstein who said that Scott spent months training and he was so overly confident that everyone wanted him to fail. He said that no one could tell him they wanted him to succeed. He said he did a bunch of shoots with him at Radu's gym and it was funny. He said he was so confident and he just played along with him like he wanted him to make it. He really just wanted him to fail.
We heard from Scott and Mike Gange about the blow up that happened after they shot video of him. Gange said they gave Howard tape of his training session and Scott claimed that they said they wouldn't do that. Gange and Doug didn't remember that. Gange remembered having Scott grabbing the camera out of his hands and Tom Chiusano stepping in to break it up. Tom talked about how he had never seen Scott that angry before. He said that Gange was laughing but he was afraid that something was going to happen. Gange said it was one of the best blow ups of all time. He thinks that Tom was afraid he was going to get hurt and that's why he stepped in. Gange said he totally hulked out on him and almost tried to kill him.
Richie Wilson said that blow up has to go down as one of the best on the show. He said he had to be overdosing on Creatine or something at the time. He said that he was acting like a roided up maniac. Steve Grillo said he thinks that Scott always had that rage in him. He didn't think it was from roids or anything else.
Scott said he was taking Creatine at the time and it apparently can affect your mental stability. He said he wasn't going to kill him or anything but he did go off. He said that was 13 years ago and that person isn't there anymore.
Ronnie said that Scott is like Fred in many ways. He's usually quiet but when he gets mad he explodes. He thought he was going to have a stroke. That led into a show clip where they were in the middle of talking about that and John was trying to talk to Scott in his studio. Here's my write up from that day:
Scott The Engineer Freaks Out. 12/18/97. 9:25am
Scott The Engineer was in the studio delivering a new Christmas song which includes samples of women queefing. He and Howard were talking about his upcoming push-up event where he says he'll be able to do 17 push-ups. Well at one point someone brought in a video tape of Scott doing his workout with his trainer. He immediately started to go mental. He started yelling about how he didn't want them to watch the tape. Then he storms out of the studio. In the mean time Howard said he was going to watch it anyway because there's no reason not to. Then in the background you can hear Scott yelling at the top of his lungs out in the hallway. Mike Gange has the E! hand held camera on Scott. Scott is yelling at Gange because they told him that they wouldn't show any tape of him doing his push-ups to Howard. Well, they weren't showing him doing push-ups, they were showing him doing the rest of his workout. Then Scott heads to his studio and locks himself in. At one point Tom Chiusano had to break Scott and Gange up because it looked like they were going to get in a major fight. What all of that was happening Howard was watching the video tape of Scott's workout. All of this should show up on E! in the near future. It'll probably run when everyone is back from vacation on January 7th. So after all of that Howard had someone get the video tape ready to watch. He took a break and when he came back they had the tape. By then, Al Rosenberg had shown up to hang out during the news. They all watched the video tape in amazement. They couldn't believe that Scott had gone off like he did. Howard must have watched the tape about 10 to 15 times during the rest of the show. I'm sure he'll be playing that quite a bit. Fred was doing his impression of the tape within a short period of time. Some listeners were calling in and saying that perhaps Scott was taking steroids and this was causing his outbursts. It didn't take long for Scott to calm down and come back in the studio. He claimed that he was already pissed off because he hasn't had phone service at his house for a couple of days. Howard thinks that this stuff will make the highest rated E! show ever. Check the E! show schedule often to see when it'll air. It's a must see.
During that clip we heard Mike Gange talking about that day and how they had to have another engineer pull the tape since Scott was the one yelling on it. He said it was a little wrong. They played more of that segment and then went to break.
Radu also talked about how he had to try and bring the beast out of Scott. He said he found the best way to do that was to have him wanting to fight everyone, like a bar fighter. Radu said he treated him like he was Rocky and they totally gave him support and brought that extra participation in from him.
Scott the Engineer said they came back on a Tuesday and he had called in sick the day before. Scott said that the general manager at the time accused him of lying about being sick. He said that was a really rotten thing to say to him. Scott said he was doing all of this promotion for the show and he was giving him a hard time about taking one day off and accusing him of lying. He said that put him in a fucked up mood. He said that guy was a fucking asshole. That led into the show clip where they did the push-up challenge. Here's my write up from that day (with added details from a Master Tape Theater replay):
Scott The Engineer's Push-Up Challenge. 01/07/1998. 6:00am
This segment was edited down to include much of the Push-Up Challenge that Scott the Engineer did the day before the full Master Tape Theatre replay of the January 8th show.
Howard and the guys talked about how Scott the Engineer hadn't shown up for work this morning. He was supposed to be doing his push-up challenge. Howard and the guys were debating over whether or not Scott would be able to do the 17 push-ups he was supposed to do. Robin said she doesn't think that he can do more than 2. Howard pointed out that he had lost 45 pounds in the months that he had been preparing for the event. He figures that since Scott is such a loser, he's going to lose. Howard is sure that he will fail and will not be able to complete the challenge.
During that segment replay we heard Radu talking about how he didn't want Howard to say something to Scott to defuse that fighting spirit in him. He said that they stayed in the green room and did the talk and kept him focused. Gary said Scott was acting so weird. He was acting like a fighter before a fight and they had him wrapped up and jogging around like he was going to fight. Gary figured he'd be able to do the push-ups based on what he saw. Fred said he thought he could do 17. He said even Eric the Midget would be able to figure out how to do them for that kind of money.
Scott the Engineer said he was getting pumped up before the segment but he was bouncing off the walls and Howard kept delaying it. He said Radu was there to keep him pumped up and peaked. He said that it was an hour later that he did it though. Radu said he thinks that Howard did it on purpose. He said that kind of scared him a little bit. He said they had to keep him going during all of that.
We also heard from Scott DePace about how great the challenge turned out to be. Then Gary talked about how their intern, Dean, was the referee and he had all of this pressure on him during the segment. Here's more of what they played:
Scott The Engineer's Push-Up Challenge (continued). 01/07/1998. 6:00am
Later in the show Howard and the guys were prepared for this challenge. They had Scott in the studio and he was looking thinner. Howard said he still looks like a loser though. He said Scott was wearing a t-shirt that was acceptable to him. Robin agreed on that. Ralph was calling Scott a loser so Scott lost it and called him a loser and freaked out on him, screaming that he was a faggot. Radu calmed him down and told him not to play the game.
Howard gave Scott the rules about how he had to touch the fist on the floor for the push-up to count. Scott agreed to the rules so they got into the challenge a short time later. Radu was telling Scott that this was it and he was ready to go. They went right into the challenge a few seconds later. Scott went through his push-ups with Radu and his guys cheering him on.
After the push-ups there was some controversy about whether or not he had completed the challenge. Scott and his entourage thought he had completed it. Howard wanted to know if he actually did do 17 push-ups. The judge said that he didn't do it so Scott freaked out on him and told the guys that they'd better pay off. Howard was going to go around the room and ask the rest of the guys if they thought he had done the 17. Dominic said his chest never touched. The judge said that he didn't do the 17 so that's what they were going by.
During that clip Ralph, Robin, Tom Chiusano, Mike Gange, Richie Wilson and Steve Grillo all said that Scott did not do the push-ups. They gave him the money because he threw a tantrum.
Scott the Engineer said that he did do them and they may not have been pretty but he did them. Scott said he counted 17 and that's what the judge said he did. He said that's what happened.
Gary said that it didn't look like good push-ups to them and they weren't able to stop him because the room was so loud. Robin said Scott was screaming and yelling like Mel Gibson so they didn't have much choice but to give him the money. Ronnie said they were all laughing their asses off at Scott yelling and turning bright red. Radu said they had to calm him down but it was really just a show.
Howard said you could see how aggravated Scott was by real exercise. He said the truth is that he didn't perform and he knows it, they all know it. He said he looked more like a centipede crawling than a guy doing a push-up. He talked about how crazy Scott got about that whole thing. Howard said Scott was in good shape from working out and that should have been enough. Scott figured he was owed that money though.
Scott said all of the frustration came out of him at that point. Radu said Scott got very mad and he had to calm him down. He was about to jump on Howard. Mike Gange said Scott stormed out like a wrestler. Doug Goodstein said it continued to play out after that and it just went on and on. Doug said if you watch it you think that he deserved it and actually did it but it played out just the right way for the Howard Stern Show. He said Scott had the last laugh in that. Radu said that he did the 19 push-ups but they weren't perfect. He said they were kind of cheating but Howard didn't explain the rules properly. He took advantage of that to help Scott out. They played more of that show segment after that...
Scott The Engineer's Push-Up Challenge (continued). 01/07/1998. 6:00am
Scott started yelling at Howard for welching on the bet. He said that the counter said he did 19 push-ups. Dominic thought it would be fair to let Scott rest for a little while and then have him do them again. Howard said he asked Dean if he did them or not and he said he didn't. Howard told Dean to go look at the tape and come back with an answer. We heard some Scott song parodies after that.
Howard said some of the guys were telling him to just give Scott the money even if he didn't do what he was supposed to do. Gary said that they were not quality push-ups. Howard agreed and said that Doug did some the other day and he did some ''real'' push-ups. Howard said there were people yelling out that he had done 17 push-ups but they were Scott's entourage. Howard said Tom Chiusano told him that maybe they should just pay him off but he really doesn't want to do that. He wants it to be fair to everyone. Robin said Scott knew what he had to do to win this $30,000 and he didn't come through.
Howard had Scott in the studio and told him what the push-ups were supposed to be with his chest touching Dean's fist. Scott said that's what he did but the guys disagreed and said that he didn't do quality push-ups. Scott wanted to see Gary do 20 for him so Gary went down to the floor and did a few for him. Scott didn't think they were very good.
Dean came in and told Howard that after he reviewed the tape, he believes that Scott did do the push-ups. He said that he floundered after the initial decision but now that he's seen the tape, he's changed his decision. Howard said that Scott is still a loser and he doesn't know if he should go with the initial decision or the changed one. Howard eventually said that he was going to give Scott his money. He had Radu yelling out that he did 17 when he really didn't even do 2. No one could hear because of that.
Gary said that those push-ups weren't acceptable and Radu knew it. Howard said if Scott was honorable, he'd admit that they weren't good push-ups. Robin asked him to do one real push-up for them to prove he knows what one is. Scott wasn't going to do it.
We heard from Gary again about how they were guilted into giving Scott the money. Robin said it got crazy and they really understood they weren't going to have a rational conversation with Scott. Steve Grillo said they thought he as going to go postal if they didn't pay off. Ralph said that day was crazy because he didn't even do one good push-up. Howard said he didn't even technically perform it. Radu said he thinks that Howard was happy that Scott got a healthier way of life and he wanted to help him out.
They played a segment from the next day where Howard asked him to admit he didn't do the push-ups. Here's some of my write up from that day:
Howard's Final Decision On Scott's Push-Ups. 01/08/1998. 7:10am
After the break Howard took a call from a guy who said that there's no way Scott did the push-ups. Howard went on to say that Scott was man enough to come in and admit that he was a little carried away yesterday. He said he knows they came off badly on the air but after people saw the tape, they should know that they weren't being that bad.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he thinks that Scott believes he did the push-ups. Howard said he knows the referee got a little overwhelmed too. He said that all of the guys there knew that Scott wasn't doing the push-ups. His back wasn't straight and his hips and stomach would come down and touch the floor. He could barely even do that though. Howard said he might be misguided in his thinking. He knows that Scott worked very hard and they expected him to do the push-ups. He said he wanted to be fair to the guy and figured he'd give him the money anyway. He said Scott called him a welcher and he said he never welches on his bets.
Howard said he asked the ref if Scott had done the push-ups and when he said he didn't do them, he should have gone out on the street to walk around naked. Scott was the one who was welching on his bet. Scott didn't agree and said that he did his push-ups and he wasn't going to go walk on the street naked.
Howard told Scott that he should prove that he can do just one good push-up and they'd be happy with that. Scott said he didn't know he was being judged on form. Howard said of course he was, that's what he explained to him before the challenge started. Howard played some audio clips of Scott yelling at him the day before when he said he wasn't going to pay off on the bet. Howard said he went off on him like he was insane.
Howard said he talked to some guys about the whole thing and they thought that he shouldn't pay off. Gary said that he showed the tape to some people and they didn't think that he did more than 6 good push-ups. Howard told Scott that he didn't really do good push-ups and he probably shouldn't pay him. Howard said you're supposed to break the 90 degree plane but Scott didn't even come close to that. Howard said he could do 1000 push-ups the way Scott was doing them. He said Scott is the welcher on this bet and he shouldn't have to pay him.
During that segment we heard from Scott again about how he got a call from someone off the air telling him to just go with the flow and he'd get paid. Scott said he did say that he didn't do them correctly. Howard said he still doesn't think he did the push-ups. He said that he just broke down and gave him the money. Ralph said Scott owes Howard that money. He should pay him back some day. Robin said he had already had it spent so they all got burnt by Scott that day. Fred said he should have given them back the money. Fred said he's still waiting for it to come back.
Scott said he contributed to the show for 6 weeks. He felt like he brought a lot to the table so just give him a bone. He didn't feel guilty about taking the money. Here's some of what they played next:
Scott The Engineer Admits Defeat. 01/08/1998. 8:30am
Howard got back to Scott and Scott said that he just viewed the tape with a clear mind and he's admitting that he didn't do 17 perfect push-ups. Howard told him he just wanted to prove his point and wanted him to admit he didn't do them perfectly. He said that Scott is a loser and he will always be a loser.
Scott said he was psyched out yesterday and that's what happened to him. He said he can't do them very well. Howard said that he choked, that's all there is to it. Robin said that even Radu was saying that Scott could do them perfectly until he got into the studio. Howard asked Scott why he thinks that happened to him. Gary said he knew... because he's a loser. Howard said he was going to pay Scott off because he is a loser and he won't have the ability to make that money again.
Howard said a loser chokes under pressure and that's what happened to him. Gary told him he looks great after losing the weight though. Scott said he's not done yet after Howard said he still looks awful to him. Howard figures he will gain it all back though. Scott insisted that he wouldn't gain it back. Howard told him he's a loser and he will go back to eating the crap he eats and gain that weight back.
Howard said he was going to write him the check for $10,000 even though Scott didn't win. He said he knows Scott and he knew this was going to happen. He said that Scott is pathetic and that's why he's getting paid. He's sad and pathetic and it's like giving to charity as far as he's concerned. He was happy that Scott became a man and admitted that he was wrong. In his eyes that meant that it was the start of him working his way to become a winner. He had to go to break after that.
Howard Talks About This New Thing Called Satellite Radio. 10/27/1997. 6:25am
Howard said he ran into a guy who was going to be running in the New York City Marathon and he just can't imagine doing something like that. He said he was going to run in a race this weekend but backed out because he didn't want people yelling at him as he was jogging along. He was registered under another name but figured that there would be photographers there trying to take his picture. He thought about it long and hard and decided to just stay home and watch satellite. He said he loves that satellite thing because the picture is amazing. He said that only 3 million people have this DSS but there's a new company out that's starting something called ''satellite radio'' and they're going to be able to stick digital radio in your car and there won't be any FCC problems with that. Howard said that you have to envision that for the future. He said that in 10 years from now it could be huge. He said that you'd have to get the radios into the cars and everywhere else. He said that you'd need this ''battery'' to put in your car but it's really a receiver. He said that would be the size of the receiver, something like the size of a quarter.
Howard found the article he was reading about this ''satellite radio'' and how he thinks that it will create a bunch of new jobs and it'll be pretty good. He found some other interesting articles that he read while trying to find that satellite radio article. He read about JFK Jr. Suing a hair dresser or something like that. He eventually found the article about the satellite radio. The company was called ''CD Radio'' and they were racing to find a location for the studios. Howard said they were thinking of having the studios in New York City. Howard said they were saying they needed $500 million to get the company going. Howard thought that was a lot of money and it would take a while to finally get it out there.
Howard said the satellite powered receivers would be about the size of a silver dollar. He thought it sounded pretty cool. Robin had many questions about it and wondered how the satellite thing would work because they do satellite stuff for the show and they only have a certain time to do it. Howard said that's because they rent time on the satellite to send out the signal for the affiliates.
Norm MacDonald And Artie Lange Visit. 01/08/1998. 9:30am
Norm mentioned that he brought along his friend Artie Lange who got fired from MAD TV. He said the guy is a great guy but he's crazy. Artie came in a short time later so Howard said hello to him and asked about the MAD TV firing. Artie said the story was pretty long but Norm told it really well. Norm told the story and said that Artie was working on the show and Quincy Jones brought the crew out to Vegas to see a Tyson fight. It turns out Artie is a compulsive gambler. Norm said he and Artie have that in common. Norm said he bets on a lot of sports stuff. Artie said he gets a lot of good tips from Norm.
Artie said that Norm has lost a lot of money on gambling. Norm got back to the story about Artie going to Vegas with Quincy Jones and the guys from MAD TV. He said Artie bet a ton of money, $15,000, on Tyson and lost it. He went to try and win it back in the casinos but lost another five grand. Then he did a bunch of coke and beat up his manager and then got thrown in jail. Artie ended up in jail and then went to rehab. Howard wondered if all fat guys were on coke or something. Norm said Artie got fired from the show and ended up going back to New Jersey to be a cab driver.
Artie said he's doing okay now, he's not a cab driver anymore. He said he didn't have a big coke problem, but about once a month he'd disappear for like 4 days. He said he had a lot of problems and was drinking and doing coke while he was on that show. It would always go bad for him though. Norm said Artie ended up going to jail and they put a special thing on you in the L.A. County jail marking them as a celebrity, a snitch or a murderer. He said he was marked but no one recognized him so they didn't know if he was a murderer or not. Artie said he didn't know why the band was on him so this Hispanic guy was telling him about what it could mean.
Artie talked about being strip searched and told Howard about how he found out about the red band. Someone was amazed when they found out he was on MAD TV. Artie said there was one guy who actually recognized him from MAD TV so that was really embarrassing to him. Norm kept giving more details about this story so Artie asked what happened to calling Don Ohlmyer. Howard told him he was more interesting and there was no way they were going to get through to Don.
Artie talked about some of the experiences he had on MAD TV. He told a story about how he was asked to clean up from the coke one day on the set and when he went back, after doing more coke, they had a bit of an intervention with him. He said he got all paranoid from the drugs he had done. Norm said Artie always pretends he's not on coke but when they were getting him for this movie they shot, they hired him and went out to shoot pool and he noticed that Artie was trying to score some drugs off of some Mexican guys. Artie said they still hired him after that so Norm is a good dude.
Artie said he's feeling much better now and he's back in show business thanks to Norm. They did this movie ''Dirty Work'' and he thinks it's funny. Howard asked him about beating up his manager since Norm had mentioned that. Artie said that this will never happen to him again... unless he's faced with some sort of reality. He said he hasn't even been betting for a long time now.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks the Norm firing thing is a publicity stunt. Norm assured him that it wasn't though. Howard talked about how he was accused of the same thing when he was fired from WNBC years ago. He said that people thought he was pulling something back then. Artie told Howard that he's a legend but Howard told Artie that he's one after telling those stories he told.
Howard let another guy rip on Norm for a minute. He said he hates Norm on SNL. Another guy called in and said that Norm is the only thing on that show that made it worth watching. Howard took a few more calls and let some people comment on Norm and Artie. One guy said Artie was the reason that he watched MAD TV. Artie seemed to be surprised by that comment. Howard said he had to get going because they hadn't broken in a while. He told Norm he was going to try and call Don but he didn't think he'd pick up. Gary told him he tried to call and all he got was voice mail at NBC out on the West Coast.
After that clip we heard Artie talking about how Howard spent about 20 minutes talking about that. He kept his attention away from the Elle story. Howard said that Artie was so open and he loved the guy right from the start. He said he was great and he knew the show so he knew how to groove with the show. It was thanks to Norm that they met Artie.
Jackie Update: Howard Speaks. 12/17/97. 6:20am
Howard finally broke his silence about the Jokeman's departure. According to Howard, Jackie's demand for more money didn't work and contract negotiations broke down. Jackie didn't even tell anyone he was leaving. Howard said that the negotiations are off for now so Jackie may not return. Howard said that he's disappointed in both Jackie and Tom for the failed negotiations. He also said that he hopes things will work out but if they don't he'll have to hire someone else. The show must go on.
After that clip we heard Gary and Scott the Engineer talking about Jackie's walk outs. Scott said that he would walk out just about every time. Ralph said it was the way that he handled them that wasn't cool. He would just walk out without saying anything to anyone. Fred said that it was okay after the first couple of times but it eventually got to be a drag. He said you didn't know who to believe about what was going on either. He said that Jackie would blame management and management would say that he was asking for too much. Fred said that Jackie wanted a piece of the syndication deals and that was out of line in his opinion.
Robin talked about all of the wacky things that Jackie would do when he'd be in negotiations. She said it was undermining them because of the strange things he was doing. Robin said that they'd have to discover where he was instead of being told by Jackie. Robin said it was a complete surprise to them.
Jackie said that Howard was always apprised of the situation when he wouldn't be in. He said he never just didn't come into work. He said that everyone was made aware. Jackie said that it was unfair for them to say he left them high and dry. Jackie said he's not sure if Robin was in on the joke or not.
That led into a show clip where Howard took a call from a guy who said he misses Jackie. Howard said he misses him too but if he's gone from the show then they have to move on and find someone to replace him. He said if that's the way he wants to leave then leave. Howard said he did the show before Jackie and he'll do the show after Jackie. The caller wondered why they're doing this all of a sudden. It's crazy. Howard said it's not crazy. Robin said they didn't get a call from anybody and Jackie just didn't show up. The caller wondered why he would do that. Howard said that's the way Jackie does things.
After that clip we heard from Tom Chiusano who said that Howard went to bad for Jackie that time with Mel and they came up with an accommodation. He said that he liked Jackie but he liked the walk out on the show. Scott the Engineer said that he heard he was being paid very generously but he may have asked for too much. Fred said he thought they needed Jackie on the show and he loved it when he was there. He said he made them all laugh and he was a good guy. He felt that way until about the 4th time he walked off the show. He said it got annoying by then. Fred said that they were wondering when he was going to come back if he was going to come back at all. Fred said that a lot of his work fell into his lap. Fred said he had to cover a lot of that and then Jackie would come back. Fred said he was happy most of the time he would come back but then he'd get annoyed after a few times. That led into a show clip when Jackie returned to the show. Here's what I wrote that day:
Surprise! The JokeMan Returns! 1/28/98. 6:25am
Just before Howard took his first commercial break around 6:10 he said something about ''..the return of JokeMan..'' When they came back from commercial he announced that Jackie has worked out things with the company and has come back to work. Howard said he knew Jackie was back by the smell of alcohol in the studio. Things were back to normal and Howard didn't spend much time on the subject. A few callers welcomed Jackie back when they got through. This should cut my e-mails in half!
We heard more from Fred about Jackie returning to the show. He thinks that it may have upset Robin that he returned. Fred said he's not sure what Howard really feels about Jackie. He said he'd probably be pissed if he were the boss.
Howard said that Robin and Fred did get very upset about it. He said that they never considered leaving or walking out on the show. He said that Robin and Fred think that Jackie was hurting the show by walking out. They figured he had to come up with a different way to negotiate. Howard said he can kind of understand Jackie walking off but it was a tough line to draw. Howard said he was in great pain from that kind of negotiating too. He said that Robin and Fred are very loyal to him.
Steve Grillo said that Jackie would walk off and Robin would take that as a slap in the face. He said when you're on the show you're a team player and Robin never thought Jackie was. Steve said you don't want to get on Robin's bad side because she's great at the silent treatment. He said that Jackie got that for months after he would return.
Jackie talked about how absurd he felt it was when Robin would get upset with him. Gary talked about how Jackie and Robin got along on the show and how it was good some of the time. He said that Robin took it very personally when Jackie would walk off. Gary said that when Jackie walked off for the second time Robin stopped talking to Jackie for months. Jackie said he felt bad that Robin was being so crappy about it but it wasn't warranted. He said that her being mad is like having someone being mad at you for wearing a bad shirt.
That led into another show clip where Howard talked about how he doesn't like working on a show where people don't talk to him. He was upset that Robin was just ignoring him there. Here's what I wrote that day:
The Robin vs Jackie Fight, What's The Deal? 3/20/98.
For most of this week there has been some tension between Robin and Jackie. Robin refuses to talk to Jackie for some reason. That reason is only known by Robin and Howard. She won't even tell Jackie why she's mad at him. Howard tried to get her to tell Jackie but she just wouldn't do it. I've gotten a bunch of e-mail about this situation but there's still no answer as to why Robin is so pissed. If she ever breaks down and explains herself I'll mention it here. If you only hear parts of the show, you haven't missed any details.
After that clip they went to break.
We heard from Robert Duvall himself after that. Duvall said Howard can go overboard at times but he likes him. That led into his first appearance clip. Here's what I had in my archives from that day:
Actor Robert Duvall Comes In. 1/27/98. 8:35am
The way Howard was talking about Robert Duvall you'd think he was in love with him. He kissed his ass like you wouldn't believe. Howard thinks that Robert Duvall is ''a real actor''. He was amazed that the actor came on the show. There was a good reason for it though. Mr. Duvall put up close to $5 million for his own movie. The movie company that bought the film probably wanted as much exposure as possible so they booked him on the show. The movie, ''The Apostle'', starts this Friday. Howard said that he watched the movie yesterday and really liked it. Mr. Duvall wrote the movie 13 years ago and finally had the chance to bring it to life. Howard and Robert spent at least 45 minutes talking non-stop. Duvall seemed to be enjoying the interview. He was telling Howard that he was at the White House this weekend showing the movie to President Clinton. He didn't talk to the President about all of the stuff that's been going on with him though. Howard wanted to find out what Robert thought of some actors so he read off a bunch of names. He wanted Duvall to give a 1 to 10 rating but he didn't want to do that. He would just say ''talented'' or ''good director'' for each. Here are some of the actors Howard brought up.
After that clip we heard Howard talking about how a lot of publicists won't let their clients come on his show. He said that there are some that are secure enough to come on the show. He said George Clooney was another one who came on. He said some people get it and have fun doing it. He said that if you have half a brain you can do the show no problem. If they don't want to talk about sex then they just don't have to. Howard said people started to recognize that.
We heard from producer Jon Reiber and Ronnie the Limo Driver after that. Ronnie said that Clooney came in by himself without an entourage. Mike Gange got an interview with him before he got in the studio. Clooney was talking about how Howard used to crack him up until he started firing on him. Then he had to cut back on listening. George said he thinks that Howard called him a dickweed or something. He said that no one told him not to do the show but people have told him to go in and try it. That led into the show clip where George came in. Here's my write up from that day:
Mystery Guest - George Clooney. 03/20/1998. 7:35am
(Edited) Howard said he didn't think that he ever bad mouthed him. He said that he's really a good looking guy in person. He said that Robin was looking him over like she was in love. Howard told George that his Batman movie was great after that. Robin said that he really is a back peddler.
Howard said that the guy who made that Batman movie, Joel Schumacher, really ruined it. George took credit for ruining the whole series with that movie. Howard told him it wasn't his fault. He said it was the director. He said that the guy doesn't understand the franchise.
Howard asked George who he's banging on E.R. These days. George said that he's doing them all. Howard asked him how much he got paid to do Batman. George said it was only $3 million. Jackie has hung out with George before and he's been working to get him on the show for years.
Howard asked George about his marriage and how long that lasted. George said it was only 3 years. Howard said he can't imagine what it must be like to be his penis. He went out with Kelly Preston for a while. George said he's got a new girlfriend now and she's French. He joked that she's turning 16 next year. He also talked about having a black girlfriend. Howard said he reminds him of a honey bee because he dips into every flower.
Howard asked George about working on E.R. and how he gets through all of the medical terms he has to use. George said he memorizes the lines but he has to write some of the medical stuff down on the bodies that he's around. He said that stuff is hard to learn.
Howard took some phone calls for George and let the fans talk to him. One guy asked if Robin was going to start dating this celebrity. Robin said she'd love to do that. Howard asked George if he was getting laid in high school. George said he did and he also said he lost his virginity at 15. He said that he thinks the girl was older than him but only by a couple of years.
Gary said that George told him that he had a strange reaction to the show when they first started out in L.A. George said he had tuned in and heard Mark Harris being interviewed and actually wrote a letter to KLSX and wondered why they brought Howard Stern to Los Angeles. He said about 6 months later he was listening every day and enjoying it. Howard said he gets a lot of hate mail when they go into new markets and people are always asking them to remove him. He said it happens in every city. The people eventually love him though.
George said that the love took about 6 months for him. He said it went from hatred to love over time. Howard took some more phone calls after that and let some more fans talk to George. He also spent some more time talking to him about the famous women he's banged over the years. They talked about Kelly Preston some more. Howard asked how long he went out with her. George said it was about a year and a half.
Robin said that George has eclipsed his dad in show business. Howard said he didn't even know who his dad was and never heard of Nick Clooney. Gary came in and told Howard that George's father wrote an article in 1994 about Howard's show for the Cincinnati Post. Howard got the article from Gary and read through that. The guy sounded like a real hard ass to Howard after he read the first line or two.
Howard took some more phone calls and had a few more callers asking questions. One guy asked if George got to bang the chicks on ''The Facts of Life'' show. He jokingly said he was working his way through all of the girls on the show. A guy claiming to be a paparazzi called in and said that he thinks that George uses Princess Diana's death for his own purposes. George defended himself but said he didn't want to get into that with him. He did go on to talk about the way the paparazzi follow people around and complained about that a little bit.
Howard asked George about E.R. and if he's going to stick around there. He said that he may leave. He was saying that he gets about $35,000 per episode and Howard thought that was kind of low. Robin said that they have a huge cast though so they have a lot of people to pay.
Howard took a call from a woman who was only 17 years old. She ended up telling Howard that she was with a guy and she was pretending that she was in bed with George. Howard thought it was a disturbing story and let her go.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that she had given George her number one time and he never called her back. She went to AJ Benza and told him about what had gone on and she was upset that he never called back. She said that she stayed up for days waiting for him to call her back. She said that he actually asked for her number, it wasn't like she just gave it to him. Howard said that George gets a lot of women and maybe she wasn't quite up to his standards.
George's cousin Miguel called in and said that George used to bang fat chicks but he just said that to get himself through to Howard. He spent a minute talking to him and then let him go.
Howard wondered why George was there this morning. He wasn't there to promote anything. Howard asked him a little more about what he does when he's not working. George said he goes out to bars and stuff and hangs out.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked what it's like to work with a nig*er. He claimed that he wasn't racist but asked George if he has to watch his keys and walled during the shoot. George didn't answer and let Howard handle the guy.
Howard asked George who he's hanging with these days. He mentioned a couple of people that Howard didn't recognize. Howard wrapped up with him and asked what he was doing in New York. George said he had a couple of meetings in the city.
Howard read that George had taken a dump in a cat litter box one time. That led to George telling a story about staying with a friend and fooling him into thinking that his cat wasn't crapping in the box. He'd scoop it every time himself and after a couple of weeks of thinking he didn't crap, George took a dump in the box making the guy think that his cat had crapped that giant crap out itself. Howard wrapped up with George a short time later and let him go.
After the George Clooney interview we heard Jason Alexander talking about how Howard has a way to get people to talk about stuff they don't usually talk about. He said you can't go in there with your own agenda or rap. You just have to go with Howard. He said he has come to appreciate people that he normally wouldn't care about. Jason said that they all laugh and have fun in the studio. Jason said he'd give Howard Larry King's position on CNN if he were them.
Howard said that there are people who aren't particularly good guests. He said that sometimes it's more interesting to talk to High Pitch Eric than some bit star. He said it's great to interview someone and put them in their world but the real strength is that they can do the show without those people.
Ronnie the Limo Driver said that Howard had a hit movie so they got some cool people who came in. He said he was the first one to meet them too so that was pretty cool. He said that Julia Roberts was one of them and she was smoking hot at the time. Jason Alexander said that you have to go in ready to play and the people who are ready do very well on the show. He said that Julia Roberts came in and you could feel the pain. She didn't want to be there and she didn't get the show. He said she didn't want to world to get closer or be asked those questions. He said that she had a terrible time on the show. He said he could feel Howard's discomfort that day too. Jason said when you have people who want to play then you have a great time. Jason said that celebrity is a total tub of bullshit and the more you play off it the more harm you do to yourself. He said Howard cuts right through that bullshit. That led into the Julia Roberts interview segment. They had shortened it quite a bit. Here's what I wrote that day:
Surprise! Julia Roberts Comes In. 5/3/99. 8:40am
Much to everyone's surprise Julia Roberts came in this morning. Even Howard didn't know she was coming in until early this morning. Julia said she did some ''schedule tweaking'' to get in today. Howard was in love with her as soon as she walked in. Shortly after she came in he said he was ''woozie'' just from looking at her. He didn't take a break after the lesbian dating game and he went on for another 50 minutes without a commercial break. He was pretty easy on her through the interview. Howard spent a lot of time complimenting her on her looks. They also spent a lot of time talking about all of the men she's had in her life. The most bizarre relationship was with Lyle Lovett. Howard just couldn't figure that whole thing out. Julia is now dating some guy Benjamin who's on the TV show ''Law and Order.'' Howard asked her about a picture he saw of her where she didn't shave her armpits. Julia said that it's one of those things that she doesn't really concentrate on and she actually lets the hair grow. Other than that Howard couldn't find anything wrong with her. Sal the Stockbroker called in at one point to tell Julia that he loved kissing her armpit at the Rett Syndrome charity event. That gave Julia the chance to plug the charity since that's what led to her doing Howard's show in the first place. If you want to donate you can check out www.rettsyndrome.org. Before Julia left Howard found out that Liam Neeson was Julia's first serious boyfriend but when he asked Julia if he took her virginity she got really defensive. She didn't want to talk about any sexual stuff.
After the Julia Roberts interview we heard Jerry O'Connell talking about how you reveal stuff on the show that you don't even tell your own family. He said that Howard asks questions that show who you really are as a person. You can't get around that. He said Howard will get it out of you no matter what. There is no escape.
Scott DePace said that there are a couple of reasons people give up information. He said some of them know the show and you have to give it up. There are some people who come in and don't give up anything because they don't know the show. Warren Beatty is one of them. He said that there are those who get the show and those who don't. The ones who don't get it don't reveal anything. That led into the Warren Beatty interview segment. Here's what I wrote that day:
Warren Beatty Comes In. 5/13/98. 8:50am
Actor Warren Beatty came in to promote his new movie Bulworth. The movie premieres in New York and Los Angeles this coming Friday and premieres in the rest of the country next week. Warren almost didn't come in live this morning. He was going to call in but Gary managed to get him to change his mind. There was a whole long story behind it and it had something to do with Howard's assistant Cathy Tobin. She somehow ended up in Warren's limo last night and convinced him to come in to the studio. Howard was all prepared to ask Warren about all of the women he's been linked to but Warren wasn't talking. He wasn't interested in talking about his past sexual experiences. He did talk about Howard's movie Private Parts. He told Howard that he enjoyed it very much and thought Howard's acting was very good. He saw it with about 15 other Hollywood celebrities in a private screening. Howard tried his best to bring up Beatty's sexual past but he just wouldn't talk no matter how many times Howard brought it up. It kind of sucked. The only thing he admitted to was masturbating and getting laid for the first time at 19 or 20 years old. Howard filled the rest of the time by talking about things like how Warren wrote this new movie and what he does in his normal routine. Howard even took a few phone calls from listeners who were pissed that Beatty wasn't talking. It didn't make a difference though. Oh well, what can you do? Robin says that this movie was really good and everyone should go see it. Howard brought up the fact that Robin also thought that Arnold Schwarzenegger's Last Action Hero was a good movie. Howard hasn't seen it yet but he's heard good things so far.
After the Warren Beatty interview we heard Mike Gange talking about how people started coming on the show as soon as Howard got involved with the movie. He became A-list in Hollywood's eyes as soon as that happened. Mike said that it was like Howard was in their club now and they could talk to him. He said it helped get major celebrities on the show. People like James Caan. That led into the interview clip where Howard spoke to Caan. Here's what I wrote that day:
Chuck Zito Brings In Mystery Guest. 6/23/99. 10:00am
Actor Chuck Zito called in a little earlier in the show and told Gary that he had a special guest to bring on the show. It was Chuck Zito so they couldn't refuse. Chuck wanted to surprise Howard with the guest so they played a little Mystery Guest game where everyone puts on a blindfold and asks the guest questions until they figure out who it is. Howard figured it out after a few minutes of guessing and a clue from Gary. The mystery guest turned out to be actor James Caan! Howard spoke to him about his many wives and how he survived financially after his many divorces. Mr. Caan also talked about his 5 kids who range in age from 8 months to 33 years old. Howard is a huge fan of Caan's since he's in the ''Godfather'' movies. ''Godfather'' is Howard's favorite. Howard spent 40 minutes talking to James about all kinds of stuff since it's a rarity to have a guest like that just show up. Caan seemed to have a great time talking to Howard. Chuck Zito didn't say much, he just sat back and let Howard and James talk. After the interview Mr. Caan said he had a pleasant time. He was expecting the worst but since Howard's such a big fan he took it easy on him.
Gary said that Benjy has the most outrageous ideas. He said that Howard loves that and he's loved it right from the start. He said he's proven himself over and over again on the show.
Howard talked about how great Benjy was right from the start and how they wanted him around. Steve Grillo said that he was an odd kid at first and kind of awkward. He said that he didn't understand his genius but Benjy knew how to get it on the air.
Benjy said that he wrote Howard a note about meeting Howard for the first time. He had the note that he had written to Howard about how he got a squeeze from Howard as he was walking by in the office. He said that Howard was staring at him with a very intense gaze. Benjy said that he had a lot of detail in this letter and he said he saw Howard as the Virgin Mary and saw the baby Jesus suckling on his teet and things like that. Benjy said Howard wrote him back and told him to do it on the air. He edited it down and told him to tell the story on the air. He hopes it's okay that he's saying that it was just a bit. That led into this segment from 1998:
Benjy The Intern's Close Encounter With Howard. 1/20/98. 8:05am
One of Howard's newest interns had an interesting story to tell on the air this morning. Benjy, who's a big fan of Howard's, was sitting in the office one day before he'd met Howard in person. He said that he'd prepared himself for meeting Howard and thought that he wouldn't be nervous. Howard came into the office and Benjy said he just smiled nervously. He said that Howard looked at him with ''loving eyes'' or something like that. At one point Howard walked past Benjy and as he walked past him he touched his shoulder and squeezed it softly. Benjy said he felt a jolt of electricity go through him. He claims that before Howard touched him he couldn't move his shoulder for some reason. Now he says that he's cured. He also claimed that he saw the Virgin Mary after Howard touched him. He said she was pretty hot looking.
After that we heard from Steve Grillo saying that kind of set the stage for Benjy's career. Benjy said that he never thought he'd become an employee on the show. He said Howard just thought it was a nutty thing to do on the air. He said he and Howard knew it was a bit but other people didn't know. He said that he was just making it up.
Richie Wilson said that they can always pick out the intern who will do something stupid for air time and Benjy was that guy. He was willing to do anything to get on the air. Richie said that he stuck out and you knew something odd was going on. Richie said that once he just rolled down the sidewalk when they asked him to.
KC Armstrong said there were a lot of strange things about Benjy. He said he thinks that he was Peter on The Cosby Show.
Steve Grillo said that he used to copy Howard's article and his job was basically to copy all of the articles and file them. He said he didn't get paid for 5 years but then they had to start paying him. He was making just $6 an hour doing that and working a lot. He said he got angry and resentful. He said that he ended up saying he had to leave and he didn't want to leave on bad terms.
Mike Gange said that Steve was his roommate at the time and they were always linked at the time. He said that it was sad to see him leave but he had to. He said that Steve was never going to go anywhere at the show. Howard was already talking about bringing in someone to help Gary out producing and that turned out to be KC. He said he felt bad for Steve because he wanted to be an actor and he couldn't do both. He left the show to be an actor. He figured he'd still be making $6 an hour if he had stayed.
KC said he thinks that it was the right decision for Grillo to leave. He said he wasn't happy there so it was probably best.
Robin said she thinks it was a mistake. She said that they have moved on since then but she thinks that Grillo got into a position where he had backed himself into a corner. She said that people self destruct there all the time. She mentioned Jackie as one of those people. She said that Grillo had to go through with the threat to leave and she doesn't think he really wanted to do it. He had to live up to his word so he left.
Mike Gange said it was sad to see him go. Steve said he was sad to leave but he had to get away from those articles. He said he's glad he never had to see them again. Grillo said he got 2 grand from Howard as a send off. He said it was an awesome thing for him to do for him. Grillo said it took him by surprise. That led into the clip from Grillo's last show. Here's what I wrote that day:
Steve Grillo's Last Day. 2/13/98. 6:35am
Today was Steve Grillo's last day working for the Stern show. Gary and Steve were in the studio talking about how they had to have a meeting on how to bring Howard his food. What was supposed to be a 10 minute meeting turned into an hour yesterday when Steve had to tell the new guy, K.C., how to keep Howard's appetite satisfied during the morning. Gary said that he didn't know how much Steve had to do just to keep Howard well fed. Steve explained how he has to have the cook clean the grill before he cooks Howard's eggs and he has to test the milk and orange juice that he gets. It's really amazing how much he had to do. Now his job may be split between K.C. and Mike Gange. Howard gave Steve a going away present of like $2000. Steve asked if he could still be included on the guest list for when they go to Scores. Howard said he'd think about it.
After that we heard from Steve Grillo who said he saw Monica Lewinsky out at dinner and he figured he and Monica were the most famous interns ever. Grillo said that he enjoyed doing the interviews he did on the show. He said he still likes that he was part of the greatest radio show ever. He said it's fun going back and he loves that he was part of he Howard Stern Show. They wrapped up and ended today's show around 11:50am.