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Howard started the show talking about his opening song and how he ruined it with Rob Zombie. Howard said he might have to go back and record it the way Rob really wanted to. Robin said it might be too late for that.
Howard said he had some trouble getting up this morning. He said he had his alarm clock going off and it was tough to get up.
Robin said she had a tough weekend. She said she was really thrown this weekend. She said she had a lot on her mind but she didn't want to get into specifics. Robin said it was a weird weekend and it looked like it was going to start out in a good way. She said she had dinner with Sarah Silverman, Bob Saget and Jeffrey Ross. Howard said he doesn't know how she does it going out to L.A. and all. Robin said she wanted to get into the machine that pumps the blood out of your legs. She said she was dying from the lactic acid in her legs and she feels much better after that. Robin said she had some meetings out there too.
Howard said he thought Robin was going to say her breasts grew back from what they were before they were reduced. Robin said they have. Howard said Robin is really a woman. He said it's a miracle. She's like a starfish with a leg that grows back. Howard said she's lost weight, she had an operation and her boobs are back. Howard said it's like a horror movie like Freddy Kruger. He said he ended up coming back no matter what they did. Howard said that Robin's boobs come back no matter what. He said it's amazing. He said her tits are like crab grass.
Robin said that they were smaller when she had the operation. Her doctor refused to make them as small as she wanted them though so that didn't help. Howard asked Robin what she thinks is going on there. Robin didn't know. She said her doctor brought her down to a D-cup and she wanted a C-cup. Robin said she was told to bring in some new bras for after the surgery and she brought in C-cups. She said she looked at her breasts and the bra and said there was something wrong. The Doctor then told her that he couldn't make them that small and kept her at a D. Howard said maybe he didn't want her to look bizarre.
Howard asked Robin what she thinks grew back there. Robin said they were huge when she was heavy and she remembers a stripper sitting next to her out in Vegas one time and she went ''Oh my god!'' and said her breast was as big as her head. She had never seen anything that big before. Howard said he didn't know they grew back to full strength. Robin said they're not quite full strength but they are bigger than they were after the surgery.
Robin said she saw David Spade out in L.A. too. She said she had a good dinner and she said she was out at STK when she ran into some of these people. Robin said she loves John Stamos. She said that he's a great guy and just a good person. Howard said he doesn't think that John is that way to everybody. Robin said he's a good actor then.
Robin said John put the dinner together but then he wasn't able to show up. Howard asked what she means. Robin said he put the dinner together and he ended up texting everyone that he had diarrhea that night and he wasn't able to make it. Howard asked who was there. She mentioned Sarah, Bob and Jeffrey Ross and also Sam Simon and his girlfriend. Robin said she got some information out there that rocked her weekend. She wouldn't say what it was but it was something about a betrayal. She said she's reeling from the whole thing. Howard told her to cut it out like a cancer.
Robin said she learned she needs new friends. Howard said he's been saying that. He would like to go through her friends and vet them for her. Howard told her to give him a list of her friends. Robin said that everyone she reached out to was worse than her so she had to hang up on people. Robin said she was going to reach out to Howard about it too but she didn't want to bother him. Howard said she should have called. He would have helped her.
Howard said he has a theory on what happened. He said he has a feeling he knows who she's talking about. Robin said she didn't want to talk to him about it. Howard said he knows. Robin said he may know. She didn't want to talk about it off the air though.
Howard said he got home on Thursday and had a drink. He said he was reading an article bout David Arquette and Courteney Cox and he feels really bad for David. Howard said he called into the show to straighten things out about his relationship and what was going on. The message that David was trying to get out there still hasn't gotten out to the press. Howard said he wishes that the whole thing would go away for David.
Howard read the article that he was talking about and they quoted Gary in the article. He said that David doesn't want to hear Gary being quoted. Gary told Howard that he got a publicist for his book and they got him booked on all kinds of things. He said that Us Weekly wanted to do an article. He said this woman calls him and asks him a bunch of questions that didn't have to do with the book. Howard told Gary he should have said ''no comment.'' Howard told him not to get desperate over that. Gary said that it just went a different way than he expected. He wasn't happy with the whole thing.
Howard asked when he's going to be done with the book promotion. Robin said it's just beginning. Robin said she's read about 1/3 of the book and she loves it. Howard said that means she's barely started the book. Howard said he read the whole thing and Beth read the whole thing and cried. Howard said she was annoyed with some of the stuff he was writing about though. He said she hated that he was working at Record World. Howard said he thinks that Beth loved the family stuff and didn't care about the rest of it. Howard said he liked the radio stories and the ''Sally Foo'' story about his dad. Howard and Fred did their Baba Booey impressions and goofed on Gary for a few minutes while talking about the book.
Fred said he read Gary's book on the computer but it was very difficult. He said he would like to read it when it's out in book form.
Robin asked Gary if he worked in the record store because he liked music or for some other reason. Gary said he loves music. Howard said he heard that Gary added some new pages to the book with lists of things he likes. They threw in lists of songs he liked from back at the Record world days. Howard said he didn't understand that. Gary said they had that in mind from the start of the whole thing. Howard thought they had added them at the last minute.
Gary said he had his book with some of the lists. He had some of the play lists from those days. The songs are the songs that Gary liked back in those days. Gary said they were just trying to paint a picture of what it was like back then. Howard said he can't believe they killed another tree to print that page in his book. Gary said they had his top 7 concerts in there too. Howard asked him to read that list. Gary read that off and Howard asked who is going to care about that stuff. Gary asked who is going to care about anything in the book.
Howard kept asking why he was doing this stuff so Gary asked Howard who asked him for his book review anyway. Howard did more of his impression and goofed on Gary some more.
Howard asked Gary if he's nervous about the Letterman appearance. Gary said he's not too nervous. He said he did speak to a few people including Artie. Artie told him he should be nervous. Gary said he's really not nervous though. That led to the guys talking about Artie and his heroin use. Gary said that they used to get calls about all sorts of things with Artie and he was never sure what was true. They talked about the days when he was driving to Delaware to pick up his heroin. Robin said that Artie was one of the greats who would only do it that day but then he'd go out and find it again.
Gary said he thinks even the drive down there was a buzz. Howard said it does keep you busy and some people who don't have a lot to do in their lives like doing that. Howard said Artie would show up and guys wouldn't be there to sell him the drugs. He said it all sounded like a nightmare.
Howard told Gary not to comment on their guests. Gary said he knows. Howard told him to go do Letterman so they can goof on him tomorrow. Gary said that he did his pre-interview on Friday. He said that went great. Howard asked what he's going to be talking about. Gary said that they might be showing the first pitch on Letterman. He said they'll talk about that and they also said that Dave could end up throwing it all out the window and change the whole interview.
Howard said he had some other stories he wanted to mention. He mentioned the death of Bob Guccione again. He said that they all know he was worth a lot of money at one time and that he pissed away his fortune. Howard said that Guccione's idea was to show vagine in his magazine since Playboy wasn't doing that at the time. Howard said the fascinating thing is that he started the magazine and some strange things happened. He was able to borrow the $1,000 he needed to print the initial run. He read that Bob also sent out fliers to possible customers and he somehow got on a mailing list for clergymen, school girls and others. Howard said that even with that he still sold out the first run of the magazines in hours.
Howard brought up the Juan Williams firing and how wrong he thought it was. Howard said that NPR has a stance where they try to maintain a level of journalism where they say they're not biased. Howard said that they don't care what their reporters personal views are. Howard said they were against Juan for going on Bill O'Reilly's show to begin with. Howard said they don't want to be associated with shows like O'Reilly's. Howard said when this happened and it all went down they told Juan that they had to fire him. They would prefer the day when reporters were invisible.
Howard said that he now understands why NPR fired Juan Williams. Howard said they didn't want the guy going out and talking about this stuff. Howard said that the NY Times has reporters that they don't want going out and bashing Obama or anything like that. Howard said there are two sides to every story but he finds it kind of lame that they did fire him. He said he kind of gets their side of the whole thing though.
Gary said he loves that they're all praying for his failure tonight. Howard said that they're not doing that. He said that Gary is going to be good tonight and he can only screw up if he talks too fast.
Bobo asked if he thinks that he's going to forget stuff because he's so nervous. Gary said no. Howard asked Gary if he's going on with the beard thing he has on his face. Gary said that the hair on his face now is going to be on him tonight. He said it hasn't changed in a year. He said it hasn't changed in that time. He said he trims it himself and he's not changing it.
Bobo asked if Howard is going to the green room today. Howard said he's not going to be there. Gary said that they will shove a bunch of people in there and there won't be enough room or food. Howard said they're pretty stingy with the food over there. Gary said they may do that to keep people from wanting to go back stage.
Gary said that when they got there they had some rumors that they were going to have Nobu there every morning. Howard said Mel is a little more stingy than the guy who was there before him. Howard said they have a different attitude there now. Howard said that when he got hired there they were willing to pay whatever it took to get him there. Howard said if they hadn't done that then they'd be out of business now. Howard said that they say that they sold a ton of radios and they forced a merger so the guy understood what the right move was. Howard said that's the way that guy conducts business. Howard said that Mel isn't like that.
Gary asked Howard if he finds it odd that he's been in radio so long and he's still negotiating with the same guy he was 25 years ago. Howard said it is kind of weird. He said that Mel is a great guy and he's very wise. Howard said he has had nothing but success with him and Mel has had nothing but success with him.
Bobo said that they'll find out what will happen next month. Howard said he can't say anything about that right now but if he's not there next year, he'll be sure to get word out where he'll be. He said he'll go on Letterman and let everyone know where he'll be. He was making it sound like he won't be there at Sirius XM but he will be somewhere.
Howard said this ''the rent is too damn high'' guy, Jimmy McMillan, is becoming a big star. He had some audio of him on some interview show talking about why he was wearing gloves that night he was doing the debate.
Howard played a couple of clips of Jimmy talking about his platform and about the comments he's made about Jewish landlords. Jimmy said that they should just move on and stop worrying about the past. He said they have to worry about the rent because people are suffering.
Howard said when a guy puts that much time into facial hair he worries. Howard said that Beth noticed that he missed the whole side of his neck when he shaved the other day. He said he just can't see now and he missed the whole thing.
Howard played more clips of Jimmy talking to these guys about who he would vote for if he had to. Jimmy said that Paladino is his brother because he spent time in the military. Howard cut it off and said that Paladino has lied about some of the stuff according to what he read. Howard said he claimed that he trained troops but it turns out that he really didn't. Howard said that he claimed that he trained 250 troops and reporters went back and found out he was only in active duty for 3 months so he didn't train anyone.
Howard said he did 3 active tours of duty himself. He said he wiped out a whole schoolhouse and that only counted for one kill even though it should have been 365. Howard said that no one had more gook ear necklaces than him. Robin asked what happened to those. Howard said he still has them and they look like Vulcan ears now. Howard said he doesn't want to hear about guys claiming they trained people when they didn't. Howard said the schoolhouse he blew up was actually in New Jersey and not in Vietnam. He said it was an accident of course. Howard said it's weird when guys lie about their military service.
Howard played more of the Jimmy McMillan audio and Jimmy really thinks that he can win based on that rent platform.
Howard said he was reading about how some of their money is being spent. He read one about a Board of Ed going out and buying 12 chairs at $3,000 each. He said there is so much waste and Obama is talking about even more taxes. He said there's such waste and they want to tax people even more.
Howard said he was reading about this Andy Warhol painting of the Campbell's soup can and wondered what the big deal was about it since it was supposed to be selling for $30-50 million. Robin tried to explain to Howard why it was so revolutionary back when he did that painting. Howard read the article he had about it and they were saying the same things about it that Robin was saying.
Howard said they had Chuck Zito coming in today to talk about what he's up to. He's got some new show or something and he's got Diamond Dallas Page with him too. Robin said she thinks that he has an exercise program that he's pushing. Howard said that's why they're coming in. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he wanted to keep everyone updated on porno. He said Sal found a guy who says his jizz tastes so bad that women throw up in their mouths. Howard played a clip from one of his movies where the woman throws up after he cums in her mouth. The guy laughs when it happens. Howard said he's not sure what his name is. Sal told him it's ''Genius.'' Sal said they actually don't show the guy's name. He said the guy goes out and finds crack whores and has them blow him. He said one chick had some transmission fluid she wanted to pawn off on the guy after he picked her up.
Howard replayed that clip and then had Chuck Zito and Diamond Dallas Page come in. Howard said that you can find out about all of the stuff Chuck is promoting at ChuckZito.com.
,Howard said that both Chuck and Dallas look like big guys. He asked Chuck if he thinks he could knock him out. Chuck laughed. Howard said that he'd like to find out who would win. Dallas said they're brothers so he won't fight him. He said that they used to ride bikes together. They went out to Sturgis together. Howard asked if Chuck is still into riding. Chuck said he only rode like twice this summer. Howard asked if he's afraid to ride now. Chuck said he snapped his leg in half once. He said he just didn't have the time to ride this year. Chuck said he loves riding but he doesn't have the time like he used to.
Howard said that he's more like a woman than a man when it comes to things like motorcycles. He asked the guys what they do when they get together. He asked if they kill anything or what. Dallas said they were down at this MMA extravaganza down in Atlantic City. Chuck said they had a lot of famous guys like themselves down there this weekend.
Dallas told Howard that his career didn't take off until he was like 40. He said he started at 35 and didn't get big until he was 40. He said that he started this fitness system called YRG and it includes a lot of stuff that he does in his life. He said that you can check out his web site at DiamondDallasPage.com to see some of their success stories.
Dallas told Robin that they had a customer from Queens who ordered two of his products under the name ''Robin Givens'' thinking that Robin was Robin Givens. Howard told him that it's actually Robin Quivers and Dallas said that's what he meant.
Howard asked the guys if they get laid a lot with the chicks they hang out with. Chuck told Howard about this chick he picked up at a restaurant. He said she didn't speak very good English. Chuck said that they saw each other and they knew that they were going to go out. Chuck said it took a couple of hours before he got her into bed. Chuck said she knew what the deal was. Howard asked if she walks around with her or what. Chuck said everyone there thought she was hot. He said that he brought her on Ferrall's show and they loved her there too.
Howard asked Chuck if he's staying with this chick. Chuck said he still sees her. He said it's not every day but he sees her.
Howard asked Chuck about this lawsuit he has against FX over the series ''Sons of Anarchy.'' Chuck said he pitched a show to FX and they turned him down. Chuck said that they turned it down but then the next thing he knows they had ''Sons of Anarchy'' on the air. Howard said the creator of the series put up a response to Chuck's claims and said something about there being some ''douche baggery'' going on. Howard asked Chuck if he said anything to the guy. Chuck said he didn't say anything but the guy did slander him. Chuck said his first reaction was the fly out there and break his jaw but Dallas told him to breathe before he goes out and does that. Chuck said that Curt Sutter has nothing to do with this lawsuit though so he's not sure why he'd be commenting.
Howard read some quotes from Sutter who says that there have been many motorcycle shows that have been pitched before and they all sucked. Chuck said that Sutter was working at FX when he pitched his show there. He said Sutter was working on The Shield at the time.
Chuck said he had to go to court over this case and when he walked in they went right into the judges chambers. Chuck said that he was representing himself at first but then he told them that he hired this guy the night before. He said that he didn't want to mock them and wanted to show them some respect. He said they go back on December 15th for more of that. Chuck said that he and Sutter are going to fight... in court... over the comments he made about him. chuck said that he their lawyers are going to fight it out in court.
Howard asked how Chuck and Dallas met. Chuck said they are working on a new TV show called Road Dogs. Howard asked if it's going to be on the air. Chuck said it should go on the air. He said they have a meeting with a guy in November. He said they have five guys who will be going out on the road like him, Dallas, Danny Trejo, Evan Seinfeld whose girlfriend is Little Lupe.
Howard asked what they're going to do out on the road. Dallas said they're going to help people out who have problems around the country. Chuck said it's like a real version of the Wild Hogs. They are going to take care of problems that people have. He said they might have problems with kids in the neighborhood or something like that. Dallas said they have something called ''Respect... or else'' and they'll be teaching people respect.
Dallas mentioned that Chuck is teaching some classes to people. Chuck said he's training martial arts to these kids and he does it 4 months of the year. He said he's fighting with the students and he's getting that energy out of him doing that. He said they combine all of the different types of marital arts in his class.
Howard asked Dallas about Chris Kanyon being his partner and how he committed suicide not too long ago. Dallas talked about what a good guy he was. Dallas said that he thinks that Chris might be happy where he's at now. Howard said that Chris was gay and he tried to keep that a secret. Chuck said he had no idea he was gay. He asked if that's why he grabbed his ass that one time. Dallas said that's not cool to joke about that.
Howard said that Dallas sued Jay-Z because he thought he had stolen his diamond sign that he used to do with his t-shirt. Dallas said he can't talk about the outcome of that case. Dallas said that he can share that sign with guys that he wants to and he lets one guy do that. He said he's not sure if Jay-Z still makes that sign in his shows. He said that he trademarked his logo and that's all he was trying to defend.
Howard asked Dallas about his tough life and how his mom had split when he was very young. Dallas said he got bounced around from one family to another when he was a kid. He said he had ADD and dyslexia. He said he was reading at a third grade level at 30 years old. He said that he figured it all out and started to study the right way after that. Dallas said he was reading one page a day of Lee Iaccoca's book and he eventually went to a teacher who was 85 at the time. He said that she helped him get to a 9th and 10th grade level. He said it's still tough to read but he took it seriously and got some help.
Robin asked Dallas if he became a bully being in that position. He said he didn't. He said he was never a bully. He said he never had trouble with the girls either. Howard said he must be hung pretty well. Dallas said he had no problem.
Howard said it sounds like the two of them have some good stuff going on. Chuck said they have a couple of things in the works. He said he's got a cooking show in the works with Vinnie Pastore and some other guys. They've been shooting some of that out at various restaurants.
Howard asked Chuck about the number of girls he's gotten. Chuck said that he can count on one hand how many girls he's had... this week. Howard asked Dallas about his wrestling days and if he misses that. Dallas said that it's great that the stuff is still out there on the web. He said he still talks about those days on his video blog on his web site DiamondDallasPage.com
Howard gave the guys some plugs for their web sites. Chuck's show is on Howard 101 tonight at 7. Dallas will be on the show with him. Howard had to wrap up and go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said speaking of John Lennon, he saw the movie ''Nowhere Boy'' and it was great. He said he wasn't sure if it was in the theaters or not. Robin said it is. Howard said the movie is about John Lennon as a teenager before he became a star. Howard said he also got to see ''Social Network'' and he liked that too. Howard said the guy in ''Nowhere Boy'' playing John Lennon was great. Robin liked that movie too. Howard said he watched Spider-Man 2 again and loved that.
Howard said they're running this Hottest Mom / Ugliest Daughter contest and they're getting some weird vibes about it. Howard said some people think they're looking for young kids for the daughter thing. He said they're looking for adults. Howard said they have to contact them themselves. Howard said the entries so far are very slim. You can find out how to enter at Sirius.com/Howard
Howard said that this guy Psych sent in a new song about Robin. He played that song which was ''I Need Her Behind.''
Howard told Robin that he finds her under a lot of pressure to do this. He told her that if she feels weird in the middle of the marathon she is to just stop. Robin said she has run 18 miles and she'll do fine. Howard said she can run 2 miles and it's more than 99 percent of the people in this country are doing.
Howard asked Robin if she has a will. Robin laughed. Howard told her to take out a life insurance policy so he can get a little something extra. The caller asked Robin if her weekend had anything to do with the artist she's dating. Robin said that he wouldn't know about what she was talking about.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that she has her letter into the NY Daily News and they finally printed it today. It's called ''The Voice of the People'' and it's in today's paper. Howard had to hang up on her as she was saying that she'd be there for Gary at Letterman tonight. Howard said he'd let her stay on the phone but she won't let him get in a word. Howard said he's not sure why she won't let him get in a word.
Howard read the NY Daily News and tried to find her letter. He finally found it and said he didn't know that her last name was Teppidino. Howard read the letter and she made some good points. Howard said if she could do that on radio then he'd have a winner there. Howard said that the letter was buried at the bottom of the page and no one will read it, but it was a nice attempt.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if it was true that Rodman really had a bunch of chicks in his room and the sex went out over some microphones that were in his room. Howard said he'll ask about that when he comes in.
Howard said Sour has an ability and he's not sure how he can harness that into something. Howard said he's playing 3 seconds of that but the rest of his show is crazy. He said his parents have to hear that shit all day long. Howard said he did a good job on that show.
Howard took a call from Eric the Midget who asked if he recognized the real version of that parody song they played earlier. Howard said of course he did. It was Billy Joel's ''The Longest Time.'' Howard said Psych probably chose that song because Billy was on last week.
Eric said that he's sick of Gary bashing him on his Wrap Up Show. Howard didn't seem to care. He told Eric he has a job offer for him. He said here's a TV show called 1000 Ways to Die and the guy from the show wrote in and said they want to have Eric on so they can have his head blow up. Howard said the guy is a big fan of the show and Gary knows the guy. Gary explained about what they'd be doing and how they'd have Eric acting before his head explodes. Eric said he's not interested.
Howard asked Gary what's going on with him on the Wrap Up Show. Gary said that Eric never calls into the show but he addresses questions they take from the callers. Gary said he's just saying that he finds Eric to be ungrateful and that's all he says on the show. Howard told Eric he had to get going because he had Dennis Rodman coming in. Howard said that Eric has turned down another TV part on 1000 Ways To Die. Robin said that maybe Johnny Fratto will be able to talk him into doing it. Howard said he had to go to break after that.
Howard asked Dennis about what he's doing with this DJ thing. Dennis said that's what he's been doing the last 15 years. Dennis said that he was bored even back when he was playing basketball. That's why he was changing the color of his hair back then. Howard said that's always a sign of boredom when you change your hair color. Dennis said you could also just stick a gun in your mouth. Howard asked Dennis if he was serious about the gun thing. Dennis said he was just joking around.
Howard said his mother used to tell him he had too much free time when he'd get a tattoo or something like that. Dennis said that everyone has them now. Robin said he's not unique anymore. Dennis aid that he's really not because everyone has them. He said the last time he got one was about 6 months ago. Dennis said he just got some color, it wasn't anything special.
Howard asked Dennis if he worried about what his relatives would think when he got the tattoos. Dennis said that life goes by really fast and they didn't have options like they have now. He said kids today are growing up too fast. He said he can't tell his 8 year old anything. He said it's really weird to go out in Times Square and he sees a lot of mom's with ugly daughters. Howard asked if he's ever had something like that. Dennis said of course he has. He said he's done so many girls. Howard asked if he fucks each one of the girls he has if he has multiple girls there.
Dennis told Howard he had one woman who brought her husband into the room with her. He said that they asked him if he could sit in and watch while he was fucking these two women. Dennis didn't want that going on but he did the girls. Dennis said that one of the girls was the guy's sister. He said he just did the girlfriend and not both of the women.
Howard said that Chuck Zito talks in detail about the girls he's with. Howard said the mother daughter thing is kind of taboo. Dennis said that girls today are really different. He said that 13 and 14 year olds look like they're 19 and 20. He said things are moving really fast and they're maturing much faster now.
Howard and Dennis talked about Brett Favre's penis picture texting incident and how you really have to be careful doing stuff like that. Dennis said you have to be careful with that and even when you have sex with a woman because they can end up taking your condom and try to get pregnant from that.
Dennis talked about his marriages and that led to them talking about his marriage to Carmen Electra. Howard asked if he loved her or if it was just a career thing. Dennis said it was just the wrong time for both of them. Howard asked if it was true he got kicked out of a party she had. Dennis said he was in South Beach and he took a bunch of girls and guys out and he ended up getting into the club while most of the guys didn't get in. He said he actually saw Carmen that night.
Dennis told Howard that no athletes that are in the spotlight are going to be faithful. He said it's just about impossible. Howard asked if he and Tiger ever banged chicks together. Dennis said he's not going there with Howard. Dennis said he appreciates them having him on their shows but he wishes that they could have banged Robin together. Howard said he's not sure he'd want Dennis in the room with him at the same time. Dennis told him he can be the fluffer. Dennis said that Howard can take the low road and he'll take the high road.
Howard asked Dennis if he's still married. Dennis said that he is but he doesn't live with her and they may get divorced. Howard said that she claims that he's behind in child support for like $500,000. Dennis said that if you saw on the rehab show you'll see what they talked about on there. He said he went on that show and did his thing and that was it. Howard said he thought he was trying to say he was just there for the money and he didn't want to admit he had a problem. He asked if he does have a problem. Dennis said that if he quits then he quits. If he doesn't quit then it's his fault with whatever happens. Dennis said that he was working out every day on that show while everyone else was sleeping for 10 days straight. He said he just did the show to do it.
Howard asked Dennis if it was true he had to do the show for some kind of rehab. Dennis said they wanted to send him to jail for 45 days while all of these other celebrities are doing drugs and not getting any time. He said they just wanted to put him in jail because of his reputation.
chuck said it's hard to be famous these days. He said he had one girl claiming that he hit her. He said he didn't do that but that's what they wanted to send him to jail over. He said they wanted to drag out all of this stuff from his past. He said he's all done with that stuff now though.
Howard said he gets the feeling there is just too much going on in his life. He asked if he likes that kind of life. Dennis said that Howard gets to stay behind that mic 24 hours a day. Dennis said that basketball gave him an outlet and if it hadn't then he'd probably be dead or in jail.
Howard said Dr. Drew thought Dennis had Aspbergers Syndrome or something. Dennis said Dr. Drew likes to talk and it's all about him. Robin said she's not sure about Dr. Drew either. Howard said that he's not sure rehab works when you go through it for just 19 days. Howard said that you don't talk about everything when you're on TV like that. Dennis said they tried to surprise him on the show by bringing her mom on. He hadn't seen her in 7 years before that. He said they sabotaged him with that and they wouldn't do that in real rehab. Howard said he agrees with him on that.
Robin said that Dr. Drew isn't that magnanimous. Dennis said that he should have had Drew on the show today and just have him walk in. Howard said he likes Drew but Robin didn't sound too happy with him.
Howard asked Dennis if he had any reconciliation with his mom on the show. Dennis said that he hasn't seen her since that show. He said that he did bring his kids over to meet her there on the show but that was it. He said that was the most important thing for him at the time. Dennis said that his mother was one of those black women who would say shit that was on her mind and his kids weren't used to that.
Howard asked Dennis if his mother ever asked for money. Dennis said that he did take care of her for about 15 years but then she came up with her own money somehow so he's on his own now. Howard asked if he would ever go see her. Dennis said that he loves his mother but he doesn't feel the need to see her right now. He said there may be a day when he wants to go see her again but not right now. He said his family is kind of dysfunctional so that's the way it goes. Dennis said he has friends that he can talk to if he needs to.
Howard asked Dennis if it was true that they went out for a drink after the last day of rehab. Dennis said they all did. He said that they all went their own separate ways. Howard asked if he liked that Amber chick on the show. Dennis said she wasn't on with him. Howard asked if he banged any of the chicks on the show. Dennis said that he and Heidi stay in contact but he didn't bang her.
Howard asked Dennis about doing a DJ thing at a club and going off with some chicks and talking dirty to some girls on mic. Dennis said he was doing something on Long Island doing a DJ gig. He said they had a Miss Body contest going on and he sat down with the girls to have some drinks and some cigars. He said the next thing he knew he had his mic on and everyone in the club could hear what was going on. He said it wasn't all what they cooked it up to be though. Dennis said he was just talking to the girls and there is no tape of it or anything.
Howard said Dennis claims that he hates being famous. Dennis said he really does. He said he hates it because some athletes just want to be athletes to get the big contracts. He said when he was playing they weren't acting like rock stars like the athletes do today. Dennis said he never hangs out with any athletes now because of that. He said he did see Michael Jordan at the golf course recently and hung out with him for a few hours. He said he hung out with Scotty Pippin too. He said he doesn't do that very much though. It's just once in a while.
Howard said Dennis has a rough life. His father's name was Philanderer and he had 43 kids. Howard said that has to be rough.
Dennis said that it's tough being famous because there are cameras everywhere. He said that he can't avoid them no matter where he goes. Howard said he has to hide away to get any peace and quiet. Dennis said he was at the Fountain Blue in Miami and he was doing this breast cancer awareness thing. He said he walked across the hotel to have some drinks and the next thing he knew there were 15 cops up there pushing him around and saying he wasn't going anywhere. He said they told him that some girl claimed that he had raped her in the club. Dennis said they looked at the video and saw that he didn't do anything and let him go. Howard said it's a good thing they had video. Dennis said it got worse. He said that they had a guy who wanted to take him to jail over it until they looked at the video. Dennis said that the guy was saying that all of these athletes think they can get away with anything. Dennis said that he didn't get away with anything. He said the cops ended up telling him to leave and then followed him until he got back on the highway. Then he got a call from his lawyer saying that the girl had hired a lawyer of her own. Dennis said they showed the tape to her and no one saw anything happen so he's very lucky they had that tape. If there was no tape then they would have believed that woman.
Howard said that Dennis is auctioning off a Florida Dream Home for charity. Howard said that Dennis knows a guy who donated his home to be raffled off. Dennis said he had some pictures to show. You can check it out at RodmanRaffle.com.
Dennis took a couple of minutes telling Howard about this raffle and why he was doing it. They also talked about Dennis' sister suing him for $160,000. Dennis said that he didn't want to talk about that. He said that anyone can sue him for that but that doesn't mean that they're going to get it. Dennis said that she did that because he fired her. Dennis said that he loves his family even though he's not close to them.
Howard asked Dennis who is better in bed, Madonna or Carmen Electra. Dennis said he wouldn't take either one. He said he'd rather have Ann Sheridan. Howard said that wasn't a choice. Dennis said she was hot when she was young. Howard said he was going to give him Madonna or Carmen in their prime. Dennis said that Ann Sheridan looked like Carmen in her prime. Howard told him to make a choice. Dennis said that he isn't going to pick one. He said they've been down that road before.
Howard gave Dennis some more plugs for his raffle thing and was going to take some calls but Dennis had to get going to some other appearances. Dennis said he has a bunch of things he has to go to.
Howard asked if he's eligible to be in the basketball hall of fame now. Dennis said he was eligible last year but they had the dream team in there. He said he doesn't know if he'll get in this year. Howard said he has the record and the abilities. Dennis said if they keep him out they're keeping him out because he thinks that he'll try to outshine the whole hall of fame. Dennis said that Michael Jordan made it all about himself so he can't do any worse than that. Howard said that he must be saying that it's not all about ability then. Dennis said there are guys in the hall of fame who don't belong there. He said that it won't make or break him though. Howard said that he could use it in promotion if he was in the hall of fame. Dennis said that he can't say anything bad about the guys who run that thing. He said that it would be all for his kids if he did get into it though. He said that his kids could tell the bullies that he's in the hall of fame when they're calling their dad names. Howard gave Dennis some more plugs and went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and asked what song that was. Fred told him it was the number one song in the country. Howard hadn't heard of the band before.
Howard said he was busy watching video of Scott the Engineer bowling. He said he starts today in the PBA tournament. He had an appearance the other day and only 12 people showed up. He said that was his warm up and this week he'll be competing in a professional league. Howard said Gary bet Scott that he wouldn't do better than a 150 average out there.
Howard said that they had the head of the PBA call into the Wrap Up Show and he thinks that Scott will be dead last. Howard played that clip from last week's show. The PBA guy, Tom, said Scott will not be competing for a title out there.
Howard said he heard it's really hard to make money bowling even when you're the number one guy out there. Howard said that you'd like to think he could earn $300,000 or more but the best guy only makes like $100,000. Robin said it all depends on the sport you're playing.
Howard played another clip of that guy Tom talking about how he thinks Scott will do. He said that Scott isn't a professional and he can't think that he'll have a professional career if he's just bowling a few times a week.
Howard said Scott is gone for the whole week doing this thing. He got the whole week off to go bowl. Howard said they had him on some bowling show but it was so boring that he wasn't able to listen to it. Howard defied the audience to stay awake during this next clip. He said Scott was telling the interviewer that he was so excited but there wasn't a tone that would make you believe it.
Howard played the clip of Scott being interviewed and Scott said it is possible for a league bowler to get there. He said he made it. Scott was telling the guy how he got on the tournament and told a joke about how Howard wanted to drill holes in his head because it looks like a bowling ball. Howard cut it off and said this is impossible to listen to. Howard played more of Scott talking and saying that he's like a bowling ambassador. He was there to try and help the PBA and bring notoriety to the sport that has been lagging for the past 10 years or so. Scott said he's glad because he loves bowling.
Howard said he's known Scott for like 25 years and he still can't get through a conversation with him. Howard said he heard that Scott's sister died recently so he got on the phone to talk to him about that. Howard said he got on the phone and told Scott that he was going to send some food over. Then he found out that it wasn't Scott's sister, it was his wife's sister. Howard said Scott didn't correct him while they were talking. Howard said that he thought it was Scott's sister but it was his wife's sister and he's not sure he would have done that or not if he knew that before. Howard said it's just hard to talk to the guy.
Howard said they had to berate Scott into keeping the dog that they got that had bad hips. He said that Scott was going to get rid of it until he spoke to him about it.
Howard asked Robin if she has ever spoken to Scott before. Robin said of course she has. She was stuck in the car with him on 9/11.
Scott called in so Howard asked if the guys had called him. Gary said that they didn't call, Scott called them. Scott said he just wanted to show how boring he can be so that's why he called in. Howard said he was just going to sit there and let Scott talk. Scott had nothing to say.
Scott said his first match is today at 2pm New York time. He said you can go on PBA.com/ExtraFrame to watch. He said he should be one of the highlighted things on there so it shouldn't be hard to find.
Howard asked Scott how he was doing during practice. Scott said he threw a lot of strikes but not every one. Howard told Scott this is his first opportunity to have a Rocky story. He said this is his chance to break his unlucky streak and turn things around. Howard told him not to come back next week and tell him he had blisters and a big hand from practicing so that's why he failed. Howard told him to get back out there and be Rocky. Scott said he will finish in the top 200. Howard told him to go do it. He said he was ready to hang up on Scott from boredom. Howard said if boredom knocked the pins down then he'd be the champion.
Howard said he heard that Scott had 12 whole people at his appearance. Scott just laughed. Gary said Scott was out at a club introducing a band. He had some audio of that. Howard played the clip even though he didn't want to. Scott was at Club Madrid and went up to introduce the band. He said that he had never seen this band but he was told they were the worst band in Las Vegas. Then he said ''Not really...'' Scott then introduced Naugahide. Howard asked Scott what the fuck he was doing in that clip. Scott said they were voted the best band in Las Vegas and they were the ones who suggested he introduce them like that.
Ralph called in and told Howard he was trapped in the hall with Scott one day and he had a hard time pulling himself away from him. He said he's like death. Ralph said he talked to him fro like 20 minutes about his bowling balls and stuff. He said that Howard TV is wasting film on this. Howard said that TV show should be great. He said it'll show how nothing ever works out for Scott. He said that Scott will fuck it all up in some way. Howard said he could have a Rocky situation but Scott will fuck it up.
Robin said she thinks this is Scott's moment and he'll never have this conversation with him again. Howard said he hopes that's the case.
Howard said he hopes that Scott does have that Rocky moment. He asked Scott if they have a bowling reference he can say to him on the phone. Scott said he can tell him to bowl 300. Howard said he had to get out of this conversation. He said he's not sure why he's talking to him. He said the whole audience has probably tuned out.
Howard said he hopes that Scott does well but it's never worked out for him. Doug Goodstein came in and said that he's been stuck in that bowling vortex for like a month now and it's the worst assignment he's ever put his guys on. Doug said that he has to deal with Scott and he just doesn't hear what he's saying sometimes. Howard said that Doug is a boring guy and he can't even talk to Scott. Howard said he had to talk to Doug over the weekend and he wanted to get off the phone as quick as he could. He said that Doug is very boring. Doug said they had a nice conversation though.
Howard heard that Scott has been complaining that Howard 100 News hasn't been covering him enough. Doug said they're going to be adding a 2 minute bonus package to the daily shows this week fro the Scott stuff.
Howard said he used to love watching bowling on TV. He said this show might be interesting when they show some of it. Howard said it's kind of interesting to see Scott bowl. He said that he's boring when he talks but he might be good at bowling. Howard had the guys play some of the video of him bowing in front of his 12 fans. Howard said he was interested in that.
Doug told Howard that the guys Scott was practicing with all looked like him. Howard said he has the feeling that he'll end up coming back with some kind of problem after this. Doug said he thinks he'll get his lace stuck in a escalator or something and break his ankle. Howard said that when Scott comes back they should just never speak of this bowling thing ever again. Robin said that she borrowed Scott's car and she heard the ball rolling around in his trunk the whole time.
Howard heard that Scott was saying that Gary was ''stealing his thunder'' by appearing on Letterman tonight. Ronnie came in to talk about that. He said that Scott said that all they'd be talking about was Gary's book after that appearance. Ronnie said that Scott was crying about all of that. Howard said Scott is a loser's loser. Ronnie said Howard doesn't know the half of it. He said that Scott is so obsessed with bowling. He said he talks to himself about it and to him about it. He said that he watches the pros bowling and giving instruction and stuff.
Ronnie said Scott shipped out his bowling balls and he ended up tracking the balls as they went across the country. Doug said Scott was bothering him about the shirts they got him and how the tags were going to annoy him and maybe ruin his game. Ronnie said he loves all of this stuff. He said he loves talking to him about it and hearing about all of this. He said that this is the thrill of Scott's life.
Howard asked if Ronnie was going to watch this stuff on the internet. Ronnie said he's still going to be with Howard when Scott is bowling. Howard said he'll be in therapy around then. He said he won't be able to tell this guy any jokes. He said he's never been able to do that.
Robin said she's going to be on Joy Behar tonight so she'll be stealing Scott's thunder too. Ronnie said Scott is going to be pissed about that.
Ronnie said that Scott went to practice one day and the Howard 100 News didn't show up there so he flipped out on them. Then he refused to talk to Shuli one day because of that. That led to Howard and Fred doing their Scott impressions and making that ''Chh'' sound.
Howard was saying that they added those lists to the book at the last minute. Gary said they weren't added at the last minute. He said they weren't in the book that Howard read but they were planned before that. Howard said they weren't in the copy that he read.
Howard said Beth loved Gary's book (They Call Me Baba Booey) and she pointed something out to him in the book that was going to be a surprise for him. Howard said Beth told him about it. Gary said it wasn't that big of a deal. He said Beth felt bad but he told her not to. Howard said he's glad that he didn't try to surprise him with that on the air. Howard goofed on Gary about that for a minute.
Howard had Gary come in to read the thing he wrote about him. Robin wanted Gary to read it to Howard. Gary said that no one on the show communicates like humans. He said that he'd never tell Howard he means a lot to him. Howard had Gary read it to him. Gary read it and it was about what Howard means to him and how he's truly the King of All Media. Gary talks about the example Howard set for him and how much he's learned from him over the past 27 years. Gary said Howard taught him how to be a good person and things like that.
Howard said that was very nice. Robin said it was very sweet. Howard thanked Gary for that. Gary said that Howard taught him how to be a good dad and Robin wondered how that was. Gary said he and Howard had discussions about kids and how to deal with certain things and that was very helpful to him.
Howard and Fred did their impressions of Gary for a couple more minutes. They were talking about a lot of the stuff in the book.
Howard brought up the licking of the teeth again and wondered what the over/under was going to be. Gary said on his twitter page they were up to 13. Howard was sticking with 3. Howard and the guys goofed on Gary about that and some of the stuff in the book. Howard said Gary should have had a list of the stuff on the show that has bothered him instead of lists of the music he liked. Howard
Howard said he just got a copy of Greg Fitzsimmons' book too. He said that his foreword is in there. Robin said she got a copy too.
Howard said Beth liked Gary's book but she skipped right by those lists he has in there. Gary found one of the lists from the book and it was a list of some popular song from the time that the chapter took place. Howard said he wanted to hear one of Gary's ''favorite'' lists. Gary found one of his lists of the records he'd take to a desert island if he had to. Howard asked why he would put that in his book. He asked who would care about that stuff. Gary had the rejected book titles too:
Howard asked when the book is in the stores. Gary said it's in the stores on November 2nd. Howard asked why they didn't move the book release up a week to get it out when he' son letterman. Gary said that's just the way it worked out.
Ralph called in again and said that he got an invitation from Gary for his book party and he Baba Booey'd it with the wrong date. Gary had put two different dates on it. It's actually on the 4th but it said it was on the 2nd. Ralph said he's having just one book party and he couldn't get it right. Howard said they should show up on the 2nd.
Howard said he was talking to Gary watching him type with one finger. Howard said he thinks that Gary's book is going to be a good read. He said that the fans will love calling in with their favorite quotes. Howard said Gary is like Steven King...Kong.
Steve got back to his news preview and had some more about Gary's appearance. Then we heard that Scott DePace was invited to Gary's book party but he won't be going. Scott said he didn't want to ruin his party. Gary said that they'd be all fine if Scott would just apologize to him the right way. Scott said he's done that though. He said that Doug is the one that Gary should be mad at. Fred told him that's what's wrong. He said he keeps blaming Doug for what happened and he has to take responsibility for it. Gary said his list is very limited for the book party so he can't invite everyone.
Steve said Gary did an interview with someone who asked ''What's up monkey boy?'' as the opening line. Steve had a few other things he mentioned before Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show.
Robin started her news talking about a book that's coming out about the women of Tiger Woods. Robin read some details about that book and who wrote it.
Robin read a story about Brett Favre denying that he sent pictures of his penis to a girl he was texting. He admits to texting the girl but not sending the picture. Robin had a couple of details about that story. Howard then did a live commercial.
Robin read a story about the new Superman and how he's looking hotter and hotter. Howard said they're trying to make them more contemporary and they have these coffee table books coming out. Howard said they're making him look like Robert Pattinson now. Robin said that the guy is so ripped that the S on his chest falls into every ripple. Howard said that he's a guy and he doesn't need Superman being that jacked up. He thinks they're trying to appeal to women and that's just not a female thing. He said he takes umbrage with that new drawing of Superman. Howard said he looks a little juiced up. He said he'd prefer that they keep him looking like a normal guy. Howard said they should put in some top 10 lists in the comic books like Gary did in his book.
Robin read a story about a study done that found that 1 in 10 people have slept with someone of the same sex. Robin read some of the details of that study and read that many kids these days aren't wearing condoms. Howard said he doesn't get why kids won't wear condoms. He said he'd be afraid of getting anyone pregnant.
Howard said that Chuck Zito is great. He said that he was funny talking about how Chris Kanyon with Dallas and saying he isn't in a happier place now.
Robin read a story about how Courtney Love Tweeted some naked photos of herself the other night. She read the details of that and Howard asked what albums she's take to a desert island like Gary said he would do. That got Howard goofing on Gary once again. Howard wondered if Letterman will talk about that with Gary tonight. He did his impression of him reading some of his lists. Howard said Gary should have spent more time talking about how he met his wife Mary. He said that he should have had that in there so the book could be made into a movie some day.
Robin read a story about a family of 12 that had to jump from their apartment when they allegedly saw the devil. One 4 month old died in the arms of the mother when they jumped.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if anyone thought of making Gary's book pages flushable. The guy's phone connection was really bad so the punch line was kind if screwed up. Howard wondered if Letterman's audience is going to buy Gary's book. Gary said he doesn't think they sell a lot of books but it will help him get booked on other shows. Gary said that Charles Barkley is going to be on the show tonight. He said that he will be on and then the Kings of Leon will be on too. Howard said that Gary is going to watch the clock as the they waste time on those lame bits. Gary said he sat in the green room with Larry Miller and one of the guys from Frasier and they realized that they weren't getting on when Howard killed. He saw the looks on their faces when Howard killed and it was brutal.
Robin read a story about a guy who took a polygraph test when he admitted he collected child pornography. He was arrested when he admitted that during the test. Robin said they found some stuff on his computer after that.
Robin read about Randy Quaid and his wife getting into some trouble. They think that there's a hit squad after them and some other people in Hollywood are on that list. Howard said that they must be crazy. Robin said she was reading the article and they say that the wife became very paranoid and that led to Randy buying into her insanity and separating from his family. Howard said they have to come back on this show. Robin said they're up in Canada and they won't come back until this hit squad is gone. Howard said it's a weird hit squad going after Randy Quaid, David Carradine and Heath Ledger.
Robin read a story about a shark attack that killed a 19 year old out in California. Robin said the kid was body boarding when the shark attacked him. Robin said the mother said she had a bad feeling about her son going out body surfing that day. Howard said he'd have that feeling any day. He said he would never body surf. Robin said it might be fun. Howard said he'd rather not be somebody's dinner. Howard said when he was 19 he was out looking for a job every day. Howard said he went in Walden Pond up in Boston and he was afraid of sharks up there. He said he had just seen Jaws so he was afraid. Howard said he didn't have any idea what body surfing was back then.
Robin read a story about Jane Goodall and how she was saying that chimps are just like people with emotional, family, war and more. Howard asked if they have lists of their favorite music. Robin said they might. Robin said they do have their own tools. Howard said he'll have to check that movie out.
Robin had more about the shark attack and how the kid died at the scene. Howard said they said his leg was just about bitten all the way off. That led to Fred playing a Jaws theme Baba Booey song parody.
Robin read a story about a swimmer that died in the UAE during a swimming competition. Robin said the guy was competing in this open water competition and wasn't found for 2 hours after failing to finish. Robin said the water temperature was in the high 80s so it may have been too warm.
Robin read about how suicides are a growing problem in Minnesota. She had audio of a suicide expert who said the internet is making things worse. Howard said he thinks that you have to have a weird genetic make up to get into something like that. He said he lives with that face of his every day and he didn't hurt himself.
Robin read a story about the upcoming mid-term elections. Robin said that the season is almost over. She said it appears that the polls are saying that people are ready to vote out the democrats in office. Robin had some audio clips she played during that story too.
Robin read about how Florida is going to drop the ban on gay adoption. Robin read the details of that and Howard said that Rosie O'Donnell should be happy about that since she's been fighting it for a while now.
Robin read about a guy who got a 40 year sentence in jail for rape but he was just cleared with some DNA testing and he was awarded $18.5 million for serving 20 of those years in prison. Howard said that's your entire youth. Robin said the guy is 49 now.
Robin said there was a man in Pennsylvania that bought a bad bag of weed. He called the cops to complain about it. Howard said that's another reason he's for the legalization of pot. Howard said you can't trust this stuff because it's not regulated. Robin said they told the man that it was probably a kitchen spice that he got instead of marijuana.
Robin said that Starbucks has started a digital network to give e-books to customers. Robin said that the content is available on their free internet service that they have in their stores.
Robin read about the number one movie at the box office being ''Paranormal 2'' which knocked off Jackass 3D. Howard said he won't watch that Paranormal movie. He said he doesn't like that stuff. He said when he's alone he starts to think that stuff is going to go down. Robin said the movie is good. She saw it and liked it. Robin had some audio of the director of that movie talking about it. Howard said the Exorcist really ruined him. He said he was really thrown after seeing that. Robin said she was kind of freaked out about it too. Robin said she had nightmares from that movie.
Robin read about the new movie ''Welcome to the Riley's'' and had some audio of Kristen Stewart talking about that movie. Howard said he thinks she has a real problem. He said she's always very twitchy and nervous when he sees her in interviews. Howard cut her off after a few seconds. After that they wrapped up and ended the show around 11:05am.
Jon asked Gary about Scott the Engineer getting upset with him ''stealing his thunder.'' Gary said in the past there was some jealously there and he's hoping that this is about the timing and not just about jealousy. He said he's hoping that Scott was just upset about him being on the same week.
Gary said that he has booked Adam Carolla for the show next week and he has a book coming out too. He said he's not going to put it off just because his book is coming out too. He said he's not sure why Scott would get upset with him about being on Letterman.
Gary also said he found it interesting that Scott was upset that the news department isn't covering him enough. Gary said that they're talking a lot about Scott on the show. Jon agreed about that.
Jon said that if Scott wants to call in he can. He said he'd talk to him about all of this if he wants. Gary said he really isn't trying to ruin anything for Scott and he hopes he realizes that.
Jon mentioned some of the other stuff that happened on the show today but Steve Langford came in and said that they have done a lot of stories about Scott's bowling. He said their headline may have kicked off this whole thing when they reported that the PBA wanted Scott to go to Vegas. Steve said that on the Friday that Scott was complaining about they were down a staff member so they weren't able to cover it. He said they can't be everywhere. Steve also said that they'll cover anything.
Gary said that Scott isn't making any money from this thing. Jon said that he did have that appearance. Jon said it's Scott's moment to shine and maybe he wants as much attention as he can get. Jon asked Jim McClure if Scott really harbors this resentment. Jim said that he heard that he told a couple of the engineers that he really is bummed out about Gary being on Letterman. He said that Scott has yelled at him about the news thing too.
Jon said he understands Scott's obsession but he doesn't get that he doesn't get how the show works. Gary said he gets it. He said Scott used to get mad at him for getting appearances when he didn't. He said it was like he thought that he didn't deserve it.
Steve said that when someone comes along with a book tour then it turns into a big thing. He said that if there was no book tour then maybe they'd be out in Vegas covering Scott. Gary said the news department treats him pretty well because he feeds them stories. He said that he and Steve get along pretty well. He said that Steve will ask him questions about vacation stuff and he'll tell him the details while some others will try to squash it.
Ralph said this is just Scott's black cloud following him again. He said that it's Scott being a loser once again with Gary having his book out at the same time that he's bowling. Ralph said he loves Scott but he's boring. He said no one wants to hear that much about his bowling. Ralph said that Scott putting himself in the same category as Gary is just wrong. Ralph said he used to go to Gary's appearances and they're fun. He said that Scott is utterly boring.
Steve said that there are many people who are much more boring than Scott is. He wouldn't name names though. They tried to get them out of him but Steve said he can't burn bridges.
Ralph said he loved that Howard didn't want to hear Scott on the phone this morning. Ralph said that you'd think that Scott would know what makes a caller interesting. Ralph also loved how Howard said that Doug Goodstein was one of the most boring people and even he was bored by Scott.
Jon asked Gary if he's nervous about tonight. Gary said he is a little nervous. He said that Letterman means something to him. He said that he'd be less nervous if he was doing Conan. Letterman just means something more to him than other shows because he grew up with him.
Jon asked Gary how he felt reading that quote from his book to Howard today. Gary said he had written it a couple of times and he tweaked it a few times. He said he was glad that Howard liked it. Gary said it wasn't awkward for him to read it on air at all.
Ronnie came in so Jon asked him about the Scott bowling thing. Ronnie said that Scott is not mad at Gary but when he heard he was doing the Letterman thing on the same day as his bowling, he got a little upset. Ronnie said Scott figured that Howard would only be talking about Gary and not about his bowling. Jon said he can't think that he's stealing his thunder intentionally. Ronnie said that Scott is bummed but he doesn't think he's doing it all intentionally.
Jon asked Ronnie how obsessed Scott is with this whole thing. Ronnie said they have no idea. He said he doesn't see Scott as much as he used to because he rarely leaves the house except to bowl. Ronnie talked about how Scott is really obsessed with the whole thing and how he was tracking his bowling balls.
Jon asked Ronnie if Scott is going to go back to being the old Scott when he gets back. Ronnie said he might be depressed if he totally fucks up.
Jon asked Gary about the lists he has in his book and if he's sorry he added them. Gary said they weren't added. He said they were planned all along. They didn't just throw them in there at the last minute like Howard thinks he did.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that no one gives a shit about bowling. He said it's not even a real sport. Gary said that Scott cares. Ronnie said Scott really cares, a lot.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he recalls Gary and Scott DePace clearing the air but DePace has been trashing Gary off the air on Howard TV. He said there have been some moments on there where he said that Gary hides behind the other people in the office. Gary said Scott has no idea what goes on in his office. He said that he comes in to check out the Phillies information and stuff like that late in the afternoon.
Gary said that DePace always brings up how he won't be his friend so he must be upset about it on some level. Gary said it bothers him some but DePace claims he doesn't care and he won't do anything to fix it.
Scott DePace came in and said that he really felt that Gary felt obliged to invite him and he doesn't want to ruin it for him. Gary said it's not ruining his day. He said he's going to have fun if Scott is there or not. Jon asked why Gary would invite him if he didn't want him there. Scott said it's the same thing as sending Jason a Christmas card. He said he was just trying to avoid an argument. Gary said that's not what he was doing. He said that he's not so mad at Scott that he's not going to invite him to something like this. Scott said that he's sure that Gary's wife hates him now and he'd rather not deal with that. He said he'd rather sit at home drinking a beer. He said it's easier to just stay home.
Ronnie asked if it would bother Scott if Gary's wife was upset with him. Scott said it would. He said he figures that Gary has filled her head with bullshit about what happened. Gary said he just told her what happened. That led to them arguing about what happened with the tape of Gary sleeping and Scott putting the blame on Doug once again.
Jon asked Scott why he won't go to the party and just hang with everyone else. He said that would help support someone who was a friend. Scott said that's not supporting him. He said that Gary doesn't care about what he thinks now anyway. Gary said that he doesn't even know if Scott thinks the book is great. Scott said it's great but it wasn't a very sincere ''it's great.''
Scott and Gary went back and forth talking about that stuff. There's still some major tension between the two of them and it doesn't appear that they'll ever settle it. Scott said that he's sorry if he's upset Gary again. Gary said he guesses he's just riding Howard's coat tails according to Scott. They continued to argue back and forth throwing little jabs at each other.
Gary said that Scott hasn't even read the book and he's commenting on it. Scott said he should just say he doesn't know then. They had to go to break after that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he's debating whether or not to renew his subscription because Howard is envious of everyone no matter who it is. He said that Howard just can't be happy for anyone. He said he gets that it might be part of the show but he doesn't get how these guys can work with him. The guy said that maybe he should be going to therapy 4 times a week.
Gary said that he thinks a lot of it is for the radio and off the air he feels he does have the ability to be happy for people. Jon said he's not sure it's envy either. He said Gary has been told that Howard is happy for him off the air. Gary said that Howard is probably happy that Scott gets to go bowl even if Howard doesn't care about bowling so much.
Another caller said that they have 27 shows left and they wasted yet another interview segment with Dennis Rodman. Gary asked if it would have been better to have no one there. The caller said that no one there is better than Dennis Rodman. He said that Dennis was so uninteresting that he had to tune out. Gary said the guys there seemed to think he was very articulate this morning and pretty interesting.
Jon asked Gary about Dennis talking about Carmen Electra the way he was today making it sound like he didn't care so much for her. Gary said he thinks that he did care for her and he heard him talk about her off the air in the past and it did seem he cared.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Scott DePace has the dumbest conversations. He said that he sounds retarded when he talks about Gary the way he does. He wished Gary luck with his new book. Gary said this caller sounds happier for him than Scott does. Jon said he's not sure why Scott acts the way he does. He said that it's weird that he doesn't want to talk to Mary and things like that. Gary said Mary listens to the show so she knows what's going on. He said that he doesn't just tell her about what happens there.
Jon asked Gary about Chuck Zito and Diamond Dallas Page. Gary said it was interesting today because Chuck has that lawsuit going on. He said he knows that some people weren't thrilled that they had Chuck on but it was a good interview. Gary also said that Jason was saying that Tim Sabean might be getting to know chuck too much and by too much the means like Roy got to know the tiger in the Siegfried and Roy show. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how fast the week is flying by already. He asked Gary how many shows they have left. Gary said he thinks that it's like 21. Howard asked how that could be. Gary was told it's actually 26.
Howard said Gary was on David Letterman last night. Howard and Robin both got up to watch. Howard asked Robin what she thought of it and asked for a grade. Robin said she would give it a B. Howard asked if she's giving it a B for telling the Baba Booey story wrong. Howard said Gary still doesn't understand why he's called Baba Booey. He said ''Baba Looey'' instead of Baba Booey when he told the story of how he got stuck with that name. Howard explained how Gary started the story off right but then he told Dave that he went on the air and said he got a ''Baba Looey'' when he meant to say ''Baba Booey'' in the story.
Gary said he knows he slipped up. Howard said he could have had an A if he had told the story right. Gary said the whole thing was overwhelming and he thought he did okay for never being on a talk show like that before. Robin said Gary looked good. Howard said he did.
Howard said there was a whole thing going on in the green room too. He was annoyed with everyone who wanted to hang out in the green room. Gary said he wanted to bring Jon Hein, Ross and his friend Steve. Then his agent came, Steve Langford came, Tim Sabean came and the PR person from the book company. Gary said he wasn't able to get into his own dressing room because there were so many there. Gary said Vinnie was there and he asked if he wanted everyone out of the room. He didn't want to do that.
Gary said Vinnie has rules so he had to watch the show to see if there were any references. Howard said Vinnie never gets to interact with the show so he has to do stuff like that. Gary said he was thinking about what was going on and everyone else was eating the food in the green room. He realized how annoying that can be and now he has to apologize to Howard for being one of those people. Howard said he understands.
Howard said he's with Robin on the B grade. He said that he thought his stories were funny but he screwed up that one story. Robin said that Gary did good with the greeting of Dave and Dave seemed to be happy to see him.
Howard said that Gary did a great job and he was fun and funny. Robin said he wouldn't sit back on the chair though. Gary said he had a discussion about that too. He said he talked to Vinnie about sitting up or sitting back and Vinnie told him to sit up. Howard said Gary had a shirt on and Ross told him to leave it untucked. Gary said that Ross told him to get a nice jacket and not something off the rack. Vinnie told him to tuck the shirt in and Ross told him to leave it out. Gary said Ross wanted to tell Vinnie to shut the fuck up. He said Jon Hein was telling him to just go out and have fun and not worry about what he looked like so much.
Howard said Vinnie doesn't know because he doesn't get out. Howard asked if Mary was there. Gary said she was there in the audience. He said that's where she wanted to be. Gary said that his kids weren't there but they weren't upset about that. It was Mary, her niece and some neighbors.
Gary said the Kings of Leon were great too. He said they did an extra song after their on-air song. Gary said that the great part was where Dave said he was sure there were more great stories in the book (They Call Me Baba Booey).
Howard said some people said that what he said about Gary going on Letterman diminishes the show for him. He said he got a lot of email about that. Howard said he'll read some of that but he might have to play Gary's appearance. Gary said that he thought that ''Baba O'Reilly'' would have been a good song to play as he was coming out. He said they played Warren Zevon's ''Muhammad's Radio'' when he came out. He said he found that a little strange. Howard said that is very obscure.
Robin said she thought Gary looked good last night. She said she liked his beard and his hair cut and all of that. She said he looked really good overall. Howard said he didn't count Gary licking his lips. Robin said he may have done it 3 times. Howard said most of the people writing in are saying that he did it 15 times. Howard said he didn't notice it. Bobo was on the phone and said he saw 10 times. Wolfie was on the phone and saw 17. Gary said that only a full lick should count. He said there may have been some quarter licks.
Howard said Letterman looked stunned by his lips so it may have thrown him off. Robin said that there were some profile shots where his teeth really shined. Howard said Dave was blinded by those.
Gary said he spoke to Charles Barkley on his way out last night and he's going to try to get him on the show. Gary said that he used to come on but he disappeared when he was in the press a while back.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked for Scott DePace's opinion about how Gary did. Howard said that Scott was going off on Gary on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and he thinks that he's having a hard time with everything that's going on. Gary said Scott said that he didn't even write his own book. Scott said they're all crazy and they're taking it all wrong. Scott said he didn't even see Gary last night. He said he can't congratulate him on his book if he hasn't read it yet.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Baba Booey licked his teeth 24 times by his count. Another guy had 14 1/2. The guy said that Gary kind of snuck in a right lick there during his story. Howard said they have to get an official count on that.
Another caller thanked Howard for kicking ass all these years. He also said Dave seemed to like all of Gary's stories. The guy asked if Howard is going to bring all of his shows to wherever he goes. Howard said he'll let him know when the time is right. Howard said he isn't saying anything right now. Howard said Chuck Zito is going to go wherever he wants to go so he can't say if he's bringing him.
Gary asked if Howard owns everything they've done there. Howard said he can't say anything right now because things are very weird right now.
King of All Blacks called in and said that Gary looked good last night. He said that his wife liked him too and said he was very handsome for a white guy. He said he looked kind of like George Clooney to her.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that he was great on the show and Gary was great outside of the building before and after the show. Gary said that there was really no one there other than Mariann but she got everyone riled up around there.
Another caller asked if they saw the 60 Minutes story about Jane Goodall. Howard didn't see it. The caller said it looked like promotion for Gary's book. Gary said that his team is very good and it's all one big tie in.
Another caller said Gary was great on the show and he thought Gary looked good. He said he was licking his lips a lot and did look like a horse tooth jackass. He said that he'll follow Howard and the guys wherever they go too.
Bobo called back and said that DePace is jealous of Gary's success. He said that Gary was great last night but he didn't get enough time. Gary said he had just the right amount of time. Howard agreed. Bobo thought Gary should have waited for Dave to sit down before he sat down. Howard said there is no etiquette when it comes to that on a talk show.
Howard and Robin talked about how Dave's desk is so high and how even Charles Barkley was looking up at Dave from the chair. Howard said that it's a control thing and they seem to know what they're doing. Howard said he would throw all of them out if he had a TV talk show. Howard said they had no rules on their channel 9 show.
Bobo asked if Dave is dying his hair blonde. Howard said he does think he is doing something. He may be dying his eyebrows as well.
Howard said DePace went at it with Gary on the Wrap Up Show. He wanted to give them an idea of the hostility. Robin said it sounds like jealousy to her. DePace said it's not.
Howard played a clip of Scott and Gary talking about the book and Scott saying that he's not sure Gary has the talent to write a book. He said it just showed he had a good memory if he can write a book about what he's done. DePace said that he wasn't sure how much of that book was written by Gary. Scott claims he's not jealous but he doesn't see the amazing accomplishment of writing a book. Scott said he's against the award shows and all of that bullshit and he's not going to jump up and down for Gary writing a book.
After that clip Howard said that Scott isn't going to Gary's book party and it's turned into a whole thing. Robin said Scott is mean spirited. Scott said that's just not true. Gary said Mary was up there with him last night and she wasn't mad at Scott until yesterday. She told him that she wanted to go sneeze on his desk.
Melrose Larry Green called in and said that he was disappointed in the show last night. He said that Dave gave Charles Barkley 2 segments and he thinks that he was snubbing Gary wondering why he had him on. Howard said Dave was doing the traditional show and it wasn't anything more than that. Melrose said that Gary didn't mention Fred or Robin in that interview either. Howard said that's true but he told Melrose he's insane. Melrose congratulated Gary on his appearance. Melrose said he was just fuckin with them.
Howard talked about how he had a teacher who would pick on him and another guy for not being on the football team. He said the guy was the coach of the football team so he'd make fun of him. Howard said he was just a scrawny guy and he never did play sports like that.
Howard said that Denise Richards will be coming in today as well. Howard said Denise is back with Richie Sambora from what he read in the tabloids. Robin said their daughter is modeling now too and she's only 13. Howard said that's the best time to start modeling.
Howard played Gary's Letterman interview and Dave started off insulting Howard. He introduced Gary as being Howard's producer and then joked to the audience saying ''And you think you got a lousy job...'' Howard said he took a few hits in this interview. Howard said he thinks Dave thinks he's insane. He and Dave used to talk to each other on the phone but he talked about some of the stuff they discussed on the air. Howard said he could ask the same question about Dave and who the real guy is. Howard said that's what Dave asked about him when he was talking to Gary.
Howard played more of the clip of Gary's interview. Gary came out and Dave talked to him about how he got his job working for Howard. Gary explained how they met at WNBC and how he got the job after Boy Lee. Gary said he thinks Howard likes him even though he's been fired a bunch of times over the years. Dave talked to Gary about how hard it was for them to get guests which led to Gary telling a story about how he'd steal guests from Dave's show since Dave worked at NBC at the time. He told Dave how he got called by one of his producers to go up there for a meeting. Gary thought he was going to get a job offer. Then they locked the door and told him that they had given his photograph to security and if they ever saw him there again they'd kick him out.
Howard said that was a good story to tell and Gary told it well. He played more of the interview where Dave asked him about how the whole ''Baba Booey'' thing came about. Gary told the story but screwed up when he explained the ''Baba Booey'' and Baba Looey thing. Gary said that he didn't think that it was going to last through the show and that was 25 years ago.
Howard said he really screwed that story up but Dave laughed anyway. Gary said he didn't realize that until just now. Howard said it's like the first pitch. He screwed it up. Howard said Gary recovered after that.
In the interview Dave asked Gary about there being multiple Howard's and how he can shred people up on the show and things like that. He said that Howard off the air is very friendly and very easy going. He asked Gary who the real Howard is. Gary said that the off the air Howard is the real guy and he's a good guy. Dave said you'd think that Howard would be the good guy on the radio and the asshole off the air. Gary said if Howard was the good guy on the radio then they'd all be out of a job.
Howard said that his psychiatrist tells him that all of those people are him. He's the same person if he's on or off the air.
Howard played more of the clip and Dave talked to Gary about Howard going through contract negotiations and how he does this every time he's up for a new contract. Gary told Dave how they don't know anything there right now. He said that they're all wondering what they're going to do. Dave thought Howard did the negotiating on the air for himself but Gary said he's got an agent. Gary said Howard did tell him to get ready to pack up and move but he has no idea where he'll be going or what they are to pack up. Dave said he thinks that Howard will stay since no one else has money to pay him.
Howard said Dave must not know what's going on in the industry. Robin said that there is terrestrial radio and he could go there if he wanted. Howard said he won't go back to terrestrial. Robin said she's just saying there is money out there. Howard said Dave should call him privately and he'll talk to him off the air.
Gary and Dave talked about some of the stuff that Howard could do if he leaves satellite. Howard didn't get why Dave was so close minded.
Howard played more of the clip and Dave talked to Gary about his kids and if they get to listen to the show. Gary said he doesn't let them listen but he did hear that they watched ''Private Parts'' at a friend's house. Gary said his one son had something he printed out on the family printer at home. He said his son had the paperwork for the rules for the Worst Penis Injury Contest in his homework. Dave wrapped up with Gary a short time later.
Howard said it was an excellent job. Gary said he did something super gay afterward. He said that he told Dave that it was like a dream come true when he was on the show. He said that he never imagined he'd be on the show. Howard said that sounds like a sequel to his book. He goofed on Gary about that for a few seconds doing his impression of him.
Howard said some people thought it was cruel of him to say that his appearance has diminished the whole Letterman thing for him. He said he's sticking by that though.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he loves Howard but if he just tuned in to hear the show he'd think that he was an asshole the way he treats his employees. Howard said he wasn't particularly rough on anyone yesterday. The caller thought he was rough on Scott the Engineer about his bowling.
The caller said he got a tour of the studio last year and he went into the Black Cloud Cafe and nothing bad happened to him. He called the show and talked to Steve Brandano and told him nothing happened. About a half hour later his boss fired him.
Howard asked how Scott the Engineer did with his bowling. Doug Goodstein came in and said that there are 252 bowlers and Scott is ranked at 247. He beat 5 guys. He said he's averaging 184.5 and he had one game of 224. Howard said he didn't embarrass himself too much since he beat 5 other guys. Doug said that was yesterday, today he could come in at 252.
Doug said that Scott does a stretching routine that lasts about 2 seconds. He said that it's pretty funny. Howard said that 251 is the leader's average. Scott is at a 184.5. Howard said they must have been shocked at how good he was. Doug said Scott was doing good with 6 strikes in a row but then he got cocky and fell off.
Doug said they're going to do a daily summary for Scott's bowling and they'll be feeding in clips from Vegas every day on the daily show. He said once Scott gets back they'll do a longer form show.
Doug said they do 6 hours of bowling a day. He said Scott has to play 12 games a day. Robin asked if Scott has made any friends. Doug said that he's made a few friends and he's been kissing some ass. Howard thanked Doug for the update.
Howard went through some mail about Scott's bowling and how upset some people were with him about his comments. Howard read those emails and also some emails about him going off on Gary about his Letterman appearance. Some people thought he was being too rough on those guys. Howard said he had a lot more to read but Mike Ditka was there so he had to get to him. They had to take a break first.
Howard came back and had Mike Ditka come in. Howard said he's a man's man. He said when he was a tight end he separated his shoulder so he just went into the game and knocked the ball down. Howard was calling Mike ''Coach'' today. He said that many of the players today are like women. He said that Mike went in and played when he had a separated shoulder and he would just swat the ball down and catch it with the other. Mike said that it was harder to catch a football but he went out and did it. Mike said today the game is all about money so it's a different thing now. Mike said he doesn't blame them for playing the way they do now.
Howard asked Mike if he got paid well back in his day. Mike said he signed a $12,000 contract back in 1961 with a $6,000 signing bonus. Times have changed but it wasn't that bad in 1961.
Howard asked Mike what his game plan was back then. Mike said he didn't have a plan until he went to play for the Cowboys. He said he became a coach and if he had never gone to play for Dallas he probably never would have become coach for the Bears.
Robin asked what the importance of the coach is. She said that they don't play the game. Mike said that the coaches formulate the game plan. He said that he's seen teams change and guys like Lombardi are able to inspire the guys to win. Howard said you have to know what you're doing though. Mike said he likes to say Keep It Simple Stupid because it's really not that hard.
Howard asked Mike about working in New Orleans and how he got a lot of crap down there. Mike said he thought he was getting a sign from God when his two Super Bowl winning teams played against New Orleans. He said that he didn't spend much time there in New Orleans though. It was a short stop.
Howard asked Mike about playing sports in school and if he played football. Mike said he was better at baseball but he wanted to play football. He said he was too small and he got his ass kicked. He said his coach encouraged him to stat at it so he did and then he had offers from a bunch of colleges by the end of high school. Howard said Mike must have been Mr. Popularity. Mike said that he really wasn't. He said there were other guys there who were very significant coming out of the same area.
Mike said he went to school to become a dentist. He said that's what he wanted to be. Howard said that his wife's father knows Mike. Beth's father became a dentist after playing football in school.
Howard said he was the hippie in school and guys like Mike were the guys beating him up. Mike said he wasn't like that. He said he didn't care about the hippies and what they were doing. Howard said he heard that Mike was such a hot man in school that he lost his virginity at 7. Mike said he didn't think that he was that popular in school. He said he was just a regular guy going through school.
Howard brought up Brett Favre's texting incident and asked Mike if he thinks that we have to hold them to such high standards. Mike said that they have to hold them to high standards just like politicians. He said that the fans are the people making them popular so they have to respect the fans. He said some of the guys think that the fans don't matter but they really do.
Howard asked Mike what his brothers do and if they're jealous of his success. Mike said they're not jealous but there are some people who hit him up for money. Mike said he's not wealthy but when he was a kid he didn't have all that much. He said that he doesn't need that much now. He said he lives in a condo in Chicago and he doesn't need that much. He has a couple of restaurants in Chicago and Pittsburgh though. Mike said they opened the one in Chicago in 1997.
Howard said Mike is a man's man and he likes to play cards with the guys and stuff like that. Howard said he heard that he had a bet with Michael Jordan for $10,000 in a golf game. Mike said he never did that. He said he didn't bet on sports at all other than a horse race. He said that he never bet on football at all.
Howard asked Mike about running for senate since he thought about that at one time. Mike talked about that a little bit and said that he's actually a resident of Florida and he just has the condo in Chicago. He said they split up the time between those two. He said his wife spends a lot of time in Florida and he goes down there after football season.
Howard asked Mike about being a spokesperson for Levitra. Mike didn't even know what it was for. He said he was told it was for liver disease. Howard said he thought it was a boner medicine. Howard asked Mike if he has ever tried anything like that. Gary said that Levitra is for erectile dysfunction. Mike told him to mind his own business. Howard asked what it's for. Mike said it's like Viagra or Cyallis and it's just made by a different company. He said that there are a lot of people who need help with that so he has no problem with it. Mike said he has dabbled in that but he doesn't take the stuff right now. Howard asked how it works. Mike said he used to take it and wait for a phone call that never came.
Howard asked Mike what his day is like. Mike said he's doing a few shows to talk about this DVD he's promoting called ''Get Coached By Mike Ditka.''
Howard asked Mike about what the DVD would do for him. Mike said that Howard doesn't need it but it's for helping to motivate people. Mike said that he can help people who aren't motivated.
Howard asked Mike if his father was rough on him. Mike said his father did things that you can't do today. He said that he would whip him with his marine belt if he did something wrong. Mike said he would do stupid stuff and his father would punish him like that. He said he would get a whipping for throwing a football through a window.
Mike said that he and his friends would steal his father's cigarettes and set the woods on fire. He said that's the kind of thing he'd get a whipping for. Mike said he'd get spanked on the ass if he did things like that.
Howard asked Mike if he did the same to his kids. Mike said he didn't. He said that his father was raised that way so he didn't know any better. Howard said the guy wasn't a good guy to him. He said he didn't teach him anything by whipping him. Mike said that he didn't do those things ever again after the whippings. Mike said it took him a long time to understand his father. He didn't understand him when he was a kid. He said his father did it for him to get him straight and get him into college. He said he thinks that's why his father did what he did. Howard said he thinks he was jealous of his son. He said his son was out in the woods having fun and smoking cigarettes. Mike said he's not going to argue with him on that. Robin said she thinks that the Coach is right about him doing it for him.
Howard asked Mike about playing football and being single. He asked if he was out there getting laid. Mike said he got married to his high school sweetheart at 20. He said he had a kid by 21. Howard said that's too young to have a kid. Mike said he was able to grow up with his kids so they're his buddies now. He said that's the good thing about having the kids so young. Mike said that he and his wife broke up and it was tough on the kids and the grand kids. Howard asked if it's uncomfortable when they get together. Mike said it's not at all. He said they're still friends.
Howard gave Mike some more plugs for his DVD and said you can find out more at Victor1DVD.com.
Mike told Howard about his 4 hip replacements he's had. Howard asked if he'd let his son play football. Mike said he would. He said that they did a survey about rugby and football and found out that there are less injuries in Rugby even though they don't use helmets. He said that they use helmets for weapons in the games these days. He said that they have rules now to cut down on the injuries. He said that those rules are working and he's seen the difference already.
Howard said Mike is one of the lucky guys who had a life after football. Mike said some of these guys think they have to own the most expensive cars and houses out there. He said he would tell the guys not to have any debt in their lives. He said that's the advice he'd give those guys. Robin said she thinks about Refrigerator Perry when it comes to that. Mike said that he has a disease and he's sick. He said he's getting a little bit better though. Mike said Perry's brother saved his life and he was the one who got him the care he needed. Mike said he could have had a better game plan for his life. He didn't need to spend all of that money he had.
Howard asked Mike if he ever went to a psychiatrist. Mike said he never did. He said he's not angry about his father and what he did or anything like that. Howard said Mike would have gotten to where he got even without the beatings. Mike said Howard might be smarter than him. Howard asked if he's afraid to cry. Mike said he'd cried after getting fired. He said that you cry when you see something emotional. He said that if you go to a veteran's hospital you'll cry.
Howard asked Mike what he was really crying about when he cried after getting fired. Mike said that he thought it was going to last forever so it hurt. He said he wasn't embarrassed but his ego may have been involved.
Gary came in and said he had tape of Ditka crying. Howard asked Gary what he was doing to the coach. Gary said he was just doing his job. Howard said he doesn't like Gary coming in there and making him look bad. He said he's going to do to Gary what Mike's father did to him.
Howard gave Mike some more plugs for his DVD. He said you get that and get a little motivation. Howard said the guy will get you off your ass and give you some direction. Mike said it's only like 35 minutes long.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Mike what his fondest memory was. Howard said it's the broads. Mike said the number one in football is when he went to Dallas and won the first super bowl for them. He said that was a big game for him. He said he was happy about Super Bowl 20 too. He said they were at the top of the world when Dallas won. Howard asked if Landry's hat smelled bad. Mike said hats don't smell. He said Landry never sweated. Howard asked who the greatest coach ever is. mike mentioned a bunch of names of guys who were great. Howard asked who is the most over rated coach. Mike said he didn't know of any. Mike told Howard he's normal just like anyone else.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked about the recent rash of concussions and if he thinks they should use the HANS device that NASCAR is using. Mike didn't know about it so the guy explained it. Mike said he doesn't think that they'd be able to use something like that in football. Howard said if he had a kid he'd tell them to play tennis and games like that. He said they don't need to be playing full contact sports like football. He said Gary's kids do that and they don't need to be risking it.
Howard took one more call for Mike. The caller asked when he last texted a picture of his junk to a girl. Mike laughed. Howard asked if he even texts. Mike said he does text but he didn't say anything about texting a picture of his penis to anyone. Mike said he's not fast at texting. He said he's not going to judge Favre and the girl but he finds it hard to believe that it would take 2 years to tell anyone about it. He said that he's not sure what it is but he doesn't condone any kind of sexual harassment. He said the time frame is kind of scary though.
Howard said he admires Mike's hair. He's lucky to have his hair like he does. Howard asked if he'd shave his head first. Mike said that he would shave his head before he got a wig.
Howard told Mike he could talk to him all day long. Mike thanked him for having him in. Howard said he wants to see this DVD if his to see what he has to say.
Robin asked if he signs a lot of stuff. Mike said he has a lot of things with his name on them so he goes to a lot of signings. Mike said that people will ask him to sign pieces of napkins when he's in the airport. He said that it can get on your nerves.
Howard said Mike thinks that second hand smoke isn't a bad thing. He smokes cigars. Mike said his father smoked Lucky Strikes for most of his life and he died in his 80s. Howard said Mike is looking good and still hanging in there. He had a heart attack though. Howard asked Mike if he thinks that there is a heaven or hell. Mike said he really doesn't know. Howard had to wrap up with him a short time later. They went to break after that.
Howard came back and sang along to the song a little bit as he was coming back. Robin said she just read that Rod Stewart gave away a child to adoption when he was a young kid. Robin said they know who the kid is and she met Rod in her teens. She's kept up communication with her father after her adoptive parents passed away. Howard said he'd have to find out who his biological parents were if he was adopted.
Howard said Beth came home in a bad mood yesterday. He said she works at the North Shore Animal League and she told him some stories about the animals. Howard said he had to tell her to stop with the stories because it's killing him. He said she comes home completely depressed and in tears. Howard said she was there at the North Shore and this old guy came in with his 8 year old dog Ginger. He said the guy was in tears and said he loves the dog but he suffers from dementia and he's going to forget his dog's name by next week. He had to go into an assisted living place and he can't keep the dog. Howard said the dog came in completely trained and the guy had to drop the dog there and she went right into a cage. Howard said there are a million stories like that.
Howard said he thinks Beth was gearing up to get them another pet. Howard said she just wanted to hug the dog. He said that the dog is a mutt but it's as cute as can be. Howard said someone out there has to take this particular dog and save it. Howard said his wife will stop crying if someone takes that dog. Howard said Beth can't take it and she has to stop with the pets. Howard said she wasn't able to sleep because that dog is in a cage. Howard said he's not sure if he should take in Ginger or the guy who owned the dog. Howard said he felt for the guy too. He said the dog is 8 years old and it's all trained. He said that the dog is healthy as it can be too.
Howard said there's another story there. He said Richard is so into Halloween that it's just weird. He went out and got a pumpkin scrub at a spa.
Howard had Tim come in and asked what he was doing out there today. Tim said Ditka is amazing and he's an amazing coach and he can inspire people. He said he's a great life coach. Tim said he used to do a show in Chicago that he would watch and it would inspire him for the week. Howard asked Tim if he was Tim Kelly or Tim Sabean back then. Tim said he was Tim Sabean. Howard said Tim had an on-air name at one point. Howard asked him not to stand out there and applaud anyone. He let him go after that.
Howard said he heard about Richard's pumpkin scrub and he heard that some guy was rubbing his balls. Richard came in and said that the guy was completely appropriate but he was rubbing his ass and his balls were flopping around. He said he had a spa thing done with all pumpkin stuff and it was a total of $190. He said he was laying on a table nude getting it all done. Howard said that's just so odd.
Richard said the guy had a wash rag on his hands and the guy was washing him. He said that he had a towel on his back and then the guy covers the half of him that's not getting washed. Howard said that's a weird job to have. He asked where Richard finished. Richard said he didn't do that. He didn't get hard either.
Richard said he'd rather have a guy doing that instead of a woman. He said that way it's not embarrassing. Howard asked if the stunk before he went here. Richard said he won't shower for a few days after having that done. He said the pumpkin stuff smells so good. Howard said it just doesn't seem right. Fred said the whole thought of it weirds him the fuck out. Fred said he hated wrestling in high school with a guy holding him. He said that it just creeps him out.
Howard said Richard loves having his cock and balls out. Richard said he's comfortable with his sexuality. Howard asked if the guy was good looking. Richards said he was a good looking African American guy.
Gary said he found out that Richard is driving 2 hours to a place to get his make up done and then he's getting his make up done for 4 hours and then sleep there at the station so he can go to some parties.
Richard said he's getting his make up done by a guy who does that stuff for movies. He said he's going to be out late and he'll come there after the parade. Howard said he's sure he'll be wide awake to work. Howard said that he's rejected a bunch of their calls lately. He said that Richard did one where he listed every pumpkin pie and it was boring. Howard said they'll be turning the radio off when they hear this.
Howard said he has to reject a lot of stuff they do. He said that he knows Richard is going to be a complete mess on Monday morning after Halloween. He said he should retire just to see what happens to him. He said he's going to crumble.
Howard played Richard's latest call and he was talking to a woman on Swap Shop about Halloween coming up and how he was prepared with some pumpkin pies. Then he starts to name all of the pies. He just keeps going and going naming one after the other until they run out of time. Howard said Richard was standing there laughing at this and it was just going on and on. Howard said it was just a list of pies. Richard wanted to see how long she was going to leave him on. Howard said they still have 2 minutes left in that call. Richard said ''Hey, Ditka didn't always win the Super Bowl...''
Howard said they just went to commercial break and didn't even say anything to Richard. The woman came back and mentioned the many pumpkin pies that he had mentioned. Then Sal calls in and said he was selling Granny Anni's German Sheppard Juice. Howard said Richard was cracking up at this and it's just not that funny. Howard said he was going to cut it off and not play anymore. Howard said it just goes on and on. He played more of the call and said maybe Richard is losing his comedy edge. He said they're back there cracking each other up and falling in love with all of their work.
Howard said they did do a funny bit. They took the Letterman clip from last night and had Gary making his monkey sounds instead of speaking to Dave. Howard said that was funny. Richard said they still have some of their mojo.
Sal came in and said that they did a funny call with Howard's voice last week. Howard said he rejected that one. Gary said he just told Sal that Howard didn't like that one. Howard said it didn't make any sense and it wasn't funny.
Howard played the call to show how unfunny it was. In the call Sal called a guy about some gasoline being spilled in their car. Howard played a few seconds of that and said it wasn't funny. Sal said they tested it with a bunch of people and they thought it was funny. Howard played more of the call and they had taken clips of Howard talking about poison gas with this guy on the phone. The guy told Howard to come on down there and he'll take him on.
Howard said he was laughing because Richard was laughing. He said there's no way that's funny. Richard asked about the song parody Sal wrote about Gary's lists. Howard said that was awful too. Sal and Richard said everyone in the back loved it. Gary said JD just walked by and said he didn't love it. Howard kicked the two of them out of there and said he had to take a break.
Howard said Eric the Midget took to YouTube yesterday to yell about how he's not going to have his head exploding anymore. He said he'd like to get to that but he had Denise Richards there. Howard said he has a lot of questions for her. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and asked Fred if he was Paul Shaffer today playing Foxy Lady for Denise Richards. Fred said he felt it was appropriate. Howard had Denise come in after that. Howard said she's a real piece of ass. He said she had a nice skirt on. He said she had to be the best looking girl in her high school. She thanked him for that. Howard said that's why she became a movie star.
Howard said Denise should have been a bigger star. Howard said she should have been nude in ''Starship Troopers'' though. Howard said that he remembered seeing her in the movie thinking she was going to be huge. Howard asked what she did after that. She did Wild Things and Drop Dead Gorgeous. She also did a Bond movie. She said then her life fell apart. She said that her marriage fell apart with Charlie Sheen and some people were saying she stole her friend's husband and things like that.
Howard said that Denise seems bright and she's not a bimbo. Howard said Charlie already had a bad reputation so why did she think she was going to change him. Denise said that she wasn't trying to change him. She said his past was his past and she was moving on. Howard said everyone was waiting for the bomb to drop on that marriage. Howard asked what the defining moment was for her. Denise said that it was a moment, that's for sure. Howard asked how long it took. She said it was a year into the marriage. Denise was pregnant with their first. Then the stuff started trickling out.
Howard said that Elvis was like that too. He'd stop loving them as soon as they got pregnant. Denise said that she and Charlie are getting along now. She said that it's more than just that issue with him. Howard said that some women just don't see through to the reality of what's going on. Howard said Denise could have had any guy in Hollywood. Denise said that it was great in the beginning. She said that Charlie is a very unique individual and he should stay single. She thinks he'd be happy if he stayed single. She said that she's told him that too. Denise said that he probably will get married again though.
Howard said he thinks that Charlie waited Denise all to himself and didn't want to share her even with the kids. Howard said that he wanted her to focus on him.
Howard asked Denise if she's back with Richie Sambora. She said she's not. Howard said he can set her up. She didn't want that. She didn't want him setting her up with David Arquette either. Denise told Howard that she's getting along with Charlie very well lately and they've been hanging out there in New York the past few days.
Howard said that he heard that when Charlie went to jail he called their daughters from jail. Denise said she tried to tell them that when adults do something wrong they get a ''time out'' so that's what daddy was doing. She said that the kids asked what he did to get the time out but she told them that he'd explain that to them. He never did tell the kids what he did.
Howard said he would like to step in and help her out. Howard said he heard that Denise doesn't have sex in her house. Denise said she has had sex at the house with the kids there but she sneaks them into the house when they're sleeping. Howard said he'd love to sneak into the house and have sex with her. Howard asked if the kids ever wake up and bang on the door. She said that's never happened. She said she's very lucky that way.
Howard asked Denise if she'd prefer to keep it at a hotel. Denise said she would. She said she likes to dress up for her guys too. Howard said he likes what she's wearing now. He said he'd be happy with that. Howard said he'd ask her to get naked with her heels on and turn to the wall so he could take her from behind. Denise said that sounded hot to her. Howard said that would be something else. Howard said he can imagine Charlie banging on the door and coming after him.
Howard asked if Denise has any help with the kids so she knows what to tell them about their father. Denise said that she's okay for now but she may need help eventually. The kids are young enough at this point that she doesn't need help.
Denise said that she and Charlie went to a therapist but she had to drop them because there was no help for them. Denise said that they're in a better place now. Howard said he wishes he could just give Denise a hug.
Howard said David Arquette is coming in tomorrow. He said he'd like to help her out and give him her number. Denise said he's in the middle of that situation and she doesn't want to be involved. Howard asked if she's not attracted to him. Denise said she'd like to meet someone who is way past their divorce. Not someone who is fresh out of it.
Howard asked Denise if she's dating. Denise said she is dating. Howard asked who they are. She just said there's more than one. She said she has a guy who is just a friend who she has sex with. She said that she's very up front and honest with the guy and they have had some tiffs over their relationship. Howard said he wouldn't even need to touch Denise to finish. He said he'd be done in like 2 seconds just beating off.
Denise said that she'd like to be with someone who has been married or has kids already. Howard asked her about this guy she's with and if she goes to hotels to meet. She said that's what they do. She said that they text and ''sext'' too. Howard asked if she sends nude pictures of herself. She said she does that too. Howard asked if he sends pictures of his penis. She said he does that too. Robin said it must be Brett Favre. Howard said Denise knows what she's doing. He said she had that dress on and it was so hot. She said she knew that Howard would like it.
Howard asked Denise what hotel she goes to. She said that it's very discrete. Howard asked if the guy is famous too. She said that he might be. Howard said it must be Randy Quaid.
Denise asked Howard about his love life. She asked if his wife dresses up for him. Howard said she used to but not so much anymore. Howard said he has to ask her about that. He said she once dressed up like a school girl. Howard said he had to spank her in that outfit.
Howard asked Denise about going to the hotel to meet this friend of her's. She said that she'll wear an outfit under her clothes and sometimes just take it off in front of him. She said that she's single so she likes having fun like that. Howard asked about how long they go and how many times they'll do it in one night. She said that it can go all night. She has someone watch the kids for her while she's out.
Howard said he'd be upset sharing her with other guys. Howard said she's torturing that poor guy. Denise said that she has to be honest with the guy. Howard asked if he uses condoms. She said that he does. Howard asked if he dates anyone else. She said she's not sure. Howard said he must.
Howard asked if she's ever gone out without panties on. She said they went to a restaurant once and she took her panties off in the bathroom and then slipped her panties into his hand. He also played with her under the table a little bit. Howard said that's hot too. Howard asked if the guy is older or younger. She said he's older. Howard asked if she was wet at the table. Denise said she wasn't dry. Howard asked if she's shaved or waxed. She said she is waxed. She said that the woman does the whole thing for her.
Howard said this Charlie Sheen is nuts to have dumped her. Denise said she left him, he didn't leave her. Howard asked about the night she was out with that guy and if she did anal with him. She said that he did. She said they did everything that night and had a great time. Denise said she was sweating over there. Howard said she's out of her mind.
Howard asked who else is involved. Denise said there's not as much passion with the other guy but he's a good guy. She said that he might be good marriage material. Howard said if she's not feeling it then maybe it's not a good relationship and not marriage material. Denise said he might be right about that. Howard asked what it is he's missing. She said that he's kind of boring. She said she does like the guy though.
Howard said this discussion is fascinating. Howard said he had Wheels on the phone and he was feeling pretty good. Wheels said he was going to sext her a picture of his penis right now. Denise said she loves that. Denise said that she likes to tease and have fun with that kind of thing. Howard said he does that with Beth too but when she sends him pictures of herself he'll send her back pictures of John Stamos.
The Howard TV guys showed Denise the picture of Beth on the monitor. Howard said he was imagining Denise with Beth. Howard asked when she was last with a woman. Denise said it was a long time ago. She said she'll never say never about doing it again though. Howard said there is nothing wrong with Denise.
Howard asked Denise about doing a TV show called ''Blue Mountain State'' for Spike TV. She said she's going to be on the show starting tomorrow night. Denise said it was fun doing the show too. She plays the ex-wife of a coach and she causes all kinds of problems on the show. She said that she does some love scenes and it gets kind of graphic for TV in her opinion.
Howard asked if she's ever had guys pop boners with her in love scenes. She said they have. Denise said that they might get kind of embarrassed by that. Robin asked if Pierce Brosnan popped one. She said that she didn't really have a love scene with him.
Howard asked about the love scene's she's done and found out that she had to put her hand on her co-star's penis. She said that he was okay with it though. Howard asked why she had to do it if they don't show it. She said that they did film it but she's not sure what they'll show on the show. Howard said he's never heard of something like this. Denise said that the show is very funny and a little inappropriate. Denise said the guy has a girlfriend and she was okay with it. Howard said this is something else. He said he can't believe what she's telling him. He said he's going to have to watch this show. The show is actually on tomorrow night on Spike. Howard asked if she was wearing a top in this scene. She said she is clothed in the scenes.
Howard gave Denise some more plugs for the show and said that she also has a line of hair care products coming out. Howard said he sees that she's friends with Lisa Rinna too. He asked what's up with Lisa's lips. Denise said she actually kissed those lips. Denise said that she had them reduced and she looks amazing. Denise said that was something she did a long time ago and she wished she hadn't. Denise said that she looked amazing before but she looks even better now that she had her lips reduced.
Robin asked Denise about her breasts and found out she had new implants put in since the last time she was there. She has a C-cup. Howard said they look good to him but he wasn't able to see that much. He told her to sext her later.
Howard asked Denise what she weighs. She's 5'6'' tall and didn't say what she weighs. Howard said she must have massive bowel movements if she eats a lot during the day.
Howard asked what the hair line includes. She said that it's shampoo and conditioners and things like that. Howard took a call from a guy who asked if they could have her read a Penthouse Forum story or something. Howard said that's just about what she did with the story about the guy she's having sex with. Another caller said that Denise is classy. He asked her what her favorite sexual position is and what the easiest is for orgasms. She said that she likes doggy and laying down on her back with her legs together. She said that's a great position. She said she likes them all though. Howard asked if she likes sitting on top of a guy. She said she likes that too. She said that the guy can hit different spots when she sits on top.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if Charlie gets nervous when she come on Howard. Denise said she's not sure. She said that he's afraid to come on the show though. Gary said he knows that they're on Charlie's radar. He said he got a call from his publicist one time years ago. Gary asked if he knows that she's on today. She said he does and she has said positive things about him on there. She said that he gave her an orgasms so he's probably happy about that. Howard asked if she orgasms easily. She said it's not that easily but she isn't that hard either.
Howard gave Denise some more plugs and then took another call. The caller said that every guy has been in a situation where they get a hot little minx like her but then the relationship starts and they're stuck with them. He asked if she still gave him sex after they were married. Denise said of course she did. The guy told Howard to ask Charlie that when he's on. Denise said that she doesn't think that he'll ever do this show.
Howard took anther call and the guy's phone cut out so Howard flipped out about that. Another caller said that this has to be the number one guest of all time. He said that she's the hottest of all hot women. Howard said that's a big deal for him to say that. Howard said she is beautiful and lovely and he loves having her on the show. Howard said he doesn't want any guys banging her. He said he won't set her up with David Arquette. Howard said he's going to try and find out who this guy is that she's dating.
Howard asked Denise if she has any parts on her body that aren't great. She said of course she does. She said she has to cover up some spots. Howard asked if she has cellulite. She said she doesn't. Howard asked what flaws she has. She said that it's her hip and thigh area. She said it could be firmer and tighter. Howard jokingly said it's really horrible. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said that James Brown was the greatest. He said he loved him as an artist and as a guest on the show. Howard said the guy was talking about the Sybian in this song. Howard told Robin to get on up as James was singing those lyrics. Fred threw in some clips of Robin saying ''I need a cock!'' and things like that while the song was playing.
Robin asked Howard about his toe and how it's doing. Howard said he was told not to do anything for 4 more weeks. He said he'd love to see if Denise goes into a hotel room and dances around. Howard said Benjy is smitten. Fred said he thought Benjy was going to jump across the desk and rape her when she crossed and uncrossed her legs. Benjy said he thinks that ''we'' could get her. Robin wondered who the ''we'' was. Howard said he should have introduced Benjy to her. Howard said he would have asked her out if he was single.
Howard said he'd like to see Denise dance to James Brown. Benjy said that she might still be there. Robin didn't think she was. Howard said he'd feel weird asking her to come in and dance for them. Howard asked if she was there. Fred said that she may have been on Dancing with the Stars and she may not have been very good. JD came in and told Howard that she's gone.
Howard said that Jamie Lee Curtis is in the audience of Dancing with the Stars and she might be there for Jennifer Grey. Howard said he's not sure what's going on there. He said he can't keep his mouth shut during that show. He said he has to talk to Beth about everything going on. Howard said he doesn't like that Bristol Palin because she doesn't put any energy into her dancing. Howard said she's supposed to be a teenage motivational speaker and speaks out against girls having sex too young.
The Howard TV guys showed some video of Denise dancing on Dancing with the Stars. Howard said she's a good dancer. He said she's better than most of them. Robin said she's a little better than Bristol Palin. Howard said she's a lot better than her. Howard said that was the best dancer he's ever seen when he saw her do a split.
Howard told the guys to turn that off. He was distracted. Howard said that something weird is going on with Bristol Palin. He said her partner used to kiss her on the cheek all the time but someone must have said something. Howard said Brooke Burke has this fake laugh she puts on every time she throws it back to Tom Bergeron. Howard said she sounds mentally ill.
Howard said that was a fun morning with Mike Ditka and Denise Richards. He said it was a very manly morning.
Howard said that Gary did good last night. Jon Hein agreed. Howard said Eric the Midget wanted Gary to fail bad. He had some audio of Eric talking about Gary on YouTube. He played that clip and Eric said he wanted Gary to fail on Letterman. He said he'd laugh his ass off if he did fail.
Howard said that Gary did very well and he had Dave laughing. Steve said he thinks he did great. Steve said that Gary is supposed to be on four radio shows today and do an interview with Beth for Extra. Howard said they assigned Gary to her and they were talking about what to ask him last night. Howard said they do an interview for that show and they only show 30 seconds of it. Howard said Beth is going to do a thorough interview anyway.
Steve said that Gary's book has a trailer too. Howard had no idea what he was talking about. Steve said it's a video on YouTube with a Casey Kasem impersonator doing a voice over for Gary's book promotion.
Steve said that they have more about Scott the Engineer's bowling. He got in a plug for Jackie's Joke Hunt and Riley Martin's shows as well.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He ran down what they were going to try and cover on today's show.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked who he'd date if he was single again. He gave him a few choices like Denise, Pam Anderson and others. Howard said he would call Denise, Jenny McCarthy and Jillian Barberie too. Howard said he didn't care if Jenny had a boyfriend or that Jillian had a husband. He said they'd come to him anyway. The caller said that Denise was the best guest ever. Howard agreed.
Gary came in and said that he had a story about Denise and Charlie. Cops were just called to his hotel room last night and they found a drunk and naked Charlie Sheen there with his room a mess. He told police that he had been out partying. Howard read the article and they say that he went into a rage when he found that his wallet was missing. Gary wondered how he got naked. Howard said the guy is out of his mind.
Ralph called in and said that Gary did a good job on Letterman. He said he understood the mistake he made. He said he loves that he Baba Booey'd the Baba Booey story though. Ralph said that he finds it weird that Gary has just one printer in his house. He said he should spring for an extra printer. Howard asked what's up with that. Gary said he has no idea and he never even thought about that. He said that everyone's stuff prints to the same printer. He said he can get a really good printer for like $150 so he may have to go out and get one today.
Robin read about Lindsay Lohan's rehab and how she's claiming that she's broke and can't afford to stay at the Betty Ford Clinic. Howard said that's a shame. Robin read some of the details of that story to Howard. They say that she's supposed to be filming a movie on November 10th and her clothing line is falling apart because of the trouble she's been in. Howard said he thinks she's doomed. Howard said he feels the same about Charlie Sheen. He said that he was asking her how she's going to explain all of this to her kids. After the interview she told them about the incident last night but she didn't want to talk about it on the air.
Robin said Britney Spears has a new album coming out and she's got some pretty racy stuff in her songs. Howard said he was on YouTube looking for this video of Miley Cyrus being inappropriate with some dude. He said he got articles but no video. He didn't know what the name of the song was. Howard said he wants to see her being inappropriate. He likes these young stars who end up being like that. Robin said that they call it the Miley Cyrus Lap Dance video and that will bring it up. Howard said he wants to see it.
Robin read about Mel Gibson and how he was supposed to be in The Hangover 2 but he's been replaced by Liam Nieson. Robin said they got some complaints from the staff. Howard said Zach Galifianakis is the guy who complained to the director about him being in the movie. Howard said he heard Robin on Joy Behar last night and they were talking about how funny it is that Zach is the guy who is getting Mel Gibson kicked out of a movie. Howard had some audio of Zach talking about being up in arms about something but he was very frustrated over it. Howard said he thinks that's what he was talking about in that interview even though he wasn't mentioning exactly what it was he was so frustrated over. Howard said that interview was from the Comedy Death Ray Podcast.
Robin read some news about how the creators of South Park are apologizing for lifting some lines from some CollegeHumor.com. They had to call and apologize for lifting the lines off of something they had created over there. Robin said they do the shows in 6 days so they found a parody of the movie ''Inception'' and used some of the lines from that parody.
Robin brought up some TV show news and said that they say ''The Talk'' is no match for ''The View.'' Howard said it had a respectable opening. Robin said that's true but people are still choosing to watch The View. Robin said that Joy Behar wanted to know what Howard said about her walking off the show. She said that Joy got upset and said that she didn't know Howard was in bed with Barbara over that. Howard said he didn't think that what Bill O'Reilly said was that bad. He's not sure why they'd walk off the show like they did. Robin said it was an overreaction. They spent a minute going over that story again.
Robin read some news about Juan Williams firing from NPR. She said they felt it was the right decision there at NPR. Robin had some quotes from someone over at NPR about that. Howard and Robin talked about that story for a short time. Howard said he understands why NPR is trying to have a certain type of journalist on their network and they didn't want him going on and offering up his opinions. Howard said what Juan said wasn't wrong and they shouldn't have painted it that way. He said they could have handled it a different way. He said he's not sure what they're going for over there but he can't listen to it for long.
Robin said that Howard used to be fond about saying that the Mexican government is corrupt but now the United States is down there with them. Robin said that's we need to be cleaning our own home. She said that Somalia is the most corrupt according to the story she was reading. Howard said that Mexico is a mess right now. He said they're not in charge of the country in any way. Robin said this country is heading in that direction. Robin said that this is the lowest ranking the United States has ever had in the 15 years that this ranking has been going on.
Robin read about the cartoonist who drew Rocky and Bullwinkle has died. His name was Alex Anderson and he was 90 years old. Howard said he drew some other stuff like Crusader Rabbit. Howard said it was the worst cartoon ever but he loved it. They spent a little time talking about that guy and how he never got credit for creating the character with Jay Ward. Howard said Jay was the guy who was listed as the creator. He eventually got his name listed as the creator in the 1990s. That led to Howard talking about this ''Social Network'' movie and how he thinks that it made Mark Zuckerberg look great. Howard said that this guy created Facebook and he did screw over one guy but the guy created the site. Howard said he thought Justin Timberlake was really good in the movie too. He said he didn't want him to be good but he was.
Robin read about Joseph Stein dying too. He was 98 and the author of Fiddler on the Roof. Howard said he heard that play a lot. He sang some of that stuff and said that it used to play in his house all the time. Robin said he died after fracturing his skull in a fall.
Robin said that Dee Snider is in Rock of Ages on Broadway. Robin said she just ran into him the other day.
Robin read about how a woman gave her 12 year old son a pellet gun to take to school because he was being bullied. Robin said that the woman was charged with some crimes for doing that. They may expel the child even though he was just doing what his mother told him to do.
Robin said that gay marriage in New Hampshire is legal but there's a newspaper up there that's refusing to put gay marriages into the marriage listings. Howard said the paper is very conservative. Robin said that they were told that the same sex marriage thing goes against their views.
Robin read about Gene Simmons fainting in the airport and they found that he was dehydrated. Howard said he should drink a glass of water once in a while.
Robin read that President Obama is out stumping for the democrats. Howard said he thinks that the republicans are going to take the house and the senate in this upcoming election. Robin said that Obama is trying to boost the votes by going out and talking to the people. Howard said he knows the guy is yelling a lot. Robin had some audio of him making a speech. Robin said that Joe Biden is supposed to be there in New York today too.
Robin read about Sarah Palin and how she's become a political force over the past two years. Robin said they say that she may have an effect in the mid-term elections. Robin had some audio of someone talking about that.
Robin read about how Tony Romo has a broken clavicle. She said that he'll be out for a while. Robin had some audio of Romo talking about that. He claims he didn't know it was broken. Howard said he would know immediately. She had some audio of Eli Manning talking about how his team is doing too.
Robin had some news about Brett Favre and how he didn't have a great day on Sunday. He broke his ankle. Robin had some audio of a coach talking about the ankle break. Howard said he's in a boot just like Favre is.
Robin read about Dancing with the Stars and some of the stuff that was going on last night. Howard said he just cares about Jennifer Grey and the little black guy. He said Beth likes Rick Fox but he doesn't understand that. Beth thinks he's good looking. Robin thinks he is too. Howard said he has to watch that Brooke Burke with that fake laugh throwing it back to Tom Bergeron. Howard said JD pulled some of that for him. He played the clip of Brooke and her phony laugh. She did it every time she threw it to Tom. Howard said she has to stop it because it's so unprofessional. Howard said he really likes that Jennifer Grey and how she thinks she's making a comeback with this show. Howard said she gets really freaked out when she doesn't get a good score. Howard said he likes that Brandy too. He said he likes the two blacks and Jennifer Grey. Robin asked about Audrina Patridge. Howard said he really likes her too. He said she's getting really skinny from the dancing.
Gary came in and said that the latest on Charlie Sheen is that the woman he was with was a call girl and there's $7,000 worth of damage to the hotel room. Gary said that Denise must not have gotten any sleep last night dealing with that. Howard said he wouldn't even let his kids around him. Howard said he must be giving her money. Howard said he'd love to put his brain in their heads to straighten them out. Howard said he'd like to do that with Lindsay Lohan too. Howard said he just can't believe it.
Robin had some audio of Kristen Stewart and Howard said that she's another one he'd like to see thrown in jail. Howard said she's all nervous and twitchy and seems tortured. Howard played the audio of her talking about her movie role and Howard went off on her for making everything sound so complicated.
Robin had some audio of Sarah Jessica Parker talking about Sex and the City. Howard let that clip play through a little bit and said that she's great in that show. Howard said she's the reason the show was a hit. Robin said she was great in that role. Howard said she's right.
Robin read about John Stamos working in ''Glee.'' Howard said he's the luckiest bastard in the world. He said he's been with so many women. He said he can't even tell Robin about that stuff. Robin said she heard that he's madly in love with a girl right now. Howard said he and Ralph told him he was in love with her. Robin said he must be taking their word for it then. Robin had some audio of John talking about how he faked an illness to avoid recording a song for ''Glee'' because he wanted to rehearse with a singing coach for a week.
Robin said that this Cablevision and FOX thing hasn't been settled yet. Robin said Cablevision has claimed that it's FOX that did wrong but FOX is saying that it was Cablevision. They claim they've been in negotiations for over a year. They ended the show after that one. It was about 10:40am.
Jon said that everyone was complimentary today but he wondered if Gary thought that people were going to point something out that he didn't expect. Gary said he knew that he had to do better than people expected him to do so he wouldn't get goofed on.
Jon asked Gary if he wishes he had gone by himself over there. Gary said he wishes there weren't so many people there but he also didn't want to be sitting in there by himself.
Jon wanted to talk about Tim Sabean clapping for Mike Ditka. Gary said he wasn't just clapping, he was hooting and hollering. He said that Tim was like 5 feet away from him too. He said that it was very odd. Jon said he knows that Tim is inspired by him but it was very strange. Jon said he's never seen anything like that.
Gary said he told Howard that it would be like him hooting and hollering to Denise Richards as she walked in saying that she had great tits and ass.
Jon got back to the Letterman interview and talked to Gary about how well it seemed to go. Gary said he felt very comfortable doing it. He said it was his first interview so he's glad that's out of the way.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that Gary looked handsome last night. Gary said he woke up early so he could watch the appearance. He said he looks in the mirror and never likes what he sees. He said he watched the show and he thought to himself that he looked good on there. He said he liked the way his neck looked thin and the outfit he was wearing. He said he's never felt that way about himself before. Jon said Robin was going on about him too. Gary said that maybe it was the lighting. The caller said Gary's wife must have been freaking out too. Gary said she was very excited for him.
Jon asked Gary about the shirt being tucked or untucked. Gary said he wanted to leave it untucked and he felt much more comfortable doing that. Vinnie was telling him to tuck it but Ross thought it should stay untucked. Gary said he doesn't like it being tucked in. He said it can look very funny. The caller added ''...Tim Sabean.'' She told the guys how much she appreciates them before Jon let her go.
Jon took another call from a woman who said that Gary is so much better looking now than he was when he was young. Gary said he thinks he got better looking as he got older but mainly because his contemporaries have gotten fatter and balder. The caller asked Gary about Artie and if they're ever going to have an official announcement about him never coming back to the show. Gary said he's not sure if they'll have an announcement either way. Gary said that Artie is better but better isn't ''well.'' Gary said he doesn't think that they're at the point that they can say Artie is coming back or not coming back. He's still working on getting better.
Gary said that he and Artie had a long conversation on Saturday night. He said that they told him that Dave might ask about Artie so he wanted to ask Artie how he wanted him to handle it. Gary said he would say that he was sounding better and he's trying really hard and Artie said that was perfect.
Jon took another call from a guy who said the cover of Gary's book is awesome and he might sell some just because of that picture. He asked Gary if he noticed the jugular veins on the side of his neck. Gary said he was kind of proud of that because there was some time that you couldn't see the veins because he was so fat.
Another caller asked Gary if his wife gave him some extra attention last night. Gary said that she did tell him how proud she was but he didn't get sex. He said that she's really sick and she almost didn't come last night. Gary said that he's pretty sure that he'll get whatever she's got anyway since they were in the car together.
Ralph called in and said that he did a good job on the show. Gary said he's right about the printer thing and he's got to get another one. Gary said when there is one printer in the house you see some quality control. He said he gets to see what his kids are printing. Jon said his kids have their own printer. Ralph said that it's not about the kids, it's about Gary printing something bad. Gary said his son almost handed in the ''Worst Penis Injury Contest Rules'' in his homework.
Ralph told Gary that the make up people at Letterman are really good. He said that they're tops with that and he's seen Howard getting done over there.
Gary said that he remembers how bad it was at channel 9 because they would cake on the make up. Ralph said it's the lighting and they didn't know how to light it over there. He said at letterman they know what they're doing.
Ralph asked Gary if he's going to get fat again after the book tour. Gary said that he got thin before the book thing so he thinks he'll stay thin.
Ralph asked Gary about what line it was that Artie gave him. He said it was the line about how it's not a good sign for getting a job when the first thing said to you is that they just handed his picture into security.
Jon asked Ralph about Denise Richards and what he thinks about her. Ralph said she has a very grating voice and she didn't sound attractive to him on the air. Gary disagreed. He said that she looks great but even on the radio she sounded good. Ralph said she can look odd at times too. He said she looks good in one picture and in another she'll look like a fish face. He said she is a good guest though. Gary said you know that she's that girl talking to Howard because her answers come so quick and easy.
Vinnie Favale called in and said that he's so proud of Gary. He said he did awesome last night. He wanted to know where Ralph was in on the tuck in or not tuck in thing. Vinnie said he knew that Gary had just changed when he saw him at first. He said he just remarked that he thought he'd tuck it in and then Ross shot him a look and he's very protective of him. Vinnie said he thought Gary looked great and not tucking in can be a fat guy thing.
Gary said that he got a lot of great feedback about the show last night. He said he got a bunch of emails from friends and family who told him he killed.
Ross Zapin came in to talk about the tucking in thing. Ross said that Gary wasn't tucking in before that night so why would he start then. Vinnie said he's not with Gary every night though. Ross said Vinnie kept going and going. Vinnie asked how the shoes went. Gary said they were fine. He said he has some cool boots he should have worn. He said he forgot he had them though. Ross didn't like the shoes.
Vinnie said the book company must have been thrilled. Gary said that they were. He said they were all very happy. Gary said that his book on Amazon was up to 58 from 150 or so. He said he has no idea what that means as far as sales though.
Vinnie said that Gary did a great job and it was very nice of him to call the segment producer afterward. Gary said he had to call her and thank her for reminding him of the story about the printer and his son. He said that he really wanted to tell the story. He said he's glad that Dave brought it up with him.
Ross asked if he tuned out the audience. Gary said that they lighted it in a way that he didn't have to see them. He said that he wished he had let the audience laugh and then got in some lines. He said that he needs more practice with that.
Vinnie said he had to get going. Jon let him go and talked more to Ross about the tucking. Jon asked if he wanted to punch Vinnie. Ross said he loves Vinnie. He said he wasn't going to come to blows with him or anything.
Jon asked Ross about answering the phone as ''Jay Leno Show'' in the green room. Ross said he felt really bad when he heard who it was on the line.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he's going to buy Gary's book for his wife since she's such a fan. He said he kind of gets what Scott was saying about Gary's book yesterday. He said that Howard can make everyone interesting and he can't wait to read the book thanks to Howard. Gary said he won't churn out a piece of shit book. He said that he worked really hard to put that book together and it's not like it's not meaningful to him. He said that's what Scott was making it sound like it was. The guys spent a few minutes going over what Scott said and how he said it. The caller thought he got it but Gary didn't think the caller understood it the same way he did.
Jon said that Tim is always up around there. Tim said that it's amazing what they've created there and he loves that place. He asked ''Who wouldn't?'' Tim said that success is no accident and it's all about planning things and planning success. He said that'll probably be another sound byte tomorrow.
Jon and Tim went over the Ditka thing for a few minutes and talked about how great he was as a player and as a coach. They talked about how ferocious he was. Gary said that he was talking to Ditka's guys and they talked about the movie ''Kicking & Screaming'' and how funny it was. He said that it didn't do very well but he was great in the movie.
Jon played a clip of Ditka and Howard talking about Levitra and Ditka pretending that he dint know what it really was.
After that clip the guys talked about Ditka some more. They talked about how he admitted he has cried and things like that. Tim said that he was also talking about his dad hitting him and things like that and how he respects his father for what he did. Jon said that taking your belt to your kid these days is forbidden. Back then it was a regular thing. Tim said that he never wanted to spank his kids and he always said he would never do that. Gary said that his father never raised his hand to him but there are days that he has said that if he punched his kid in the head he'd probably listen to him. He said he never would do that but he's talked about it.
Jon said he would never do that either but he gets what Gary is saying. Gary said that he came home one day and there was a hole in the wall. He said that Mary told him that she kicked the wall from getting so angry one day. Jon said that he's punched a wall. He said he's done damage to the wall instead of his wife or kids. Jon said that you want to teach a lesson but you don't want to smack them around. Jon said you just want the kids to understand who is boss. Gary said Howard is the one who taught him that spanking is just humiliating to kids and you never want to do that. They had to go to break after that.
Jon said that Denise will answer any question that Howard throws out there for her. He said that it's honest and no big deal to her. Jon said that even porn stars don't like some of the stuff Howard throws out there but Denise would say it sounded hot or whatever.
Jon took a call from a guy who was in Barcelona, Spain and he said he was blown away by that interview. He said she's so natural and she's into the whole interview.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he enjoyed the show today. He said he respects her not dragging Charlie through the mud even after what Charlie did to her. Gary said that she could probably put out some voice mails like Mel Gibson's if she wanted to. He said there must be some out there left by Charlie.
Another caller said he thinks that Denise is great because she's a mainstream actress and she's so free talking about that stuff. He said that's what makes it more erotic than a porn star talking about the same things. Gary said she is an actress though so you have to be careful thinking she's not playing you. Then he said he doesn't care if she is playing him.
Another caller said that Gary knocked it out of the park last night on Letterman. He said that he loved it and he did a hell of a job. The caller said that Denise is bad ass as a guest too. He said when she talked about taking off her underwear and giving it to that guy it was great. He said that he'd give her anything after that. Gary said no one's wife would do that but a girlfriend will. Gary said he was at a party once and Tony Pig was there and he told her that this girl at the party wasn't wearing any underwear. Gary said he asked to check and she let him do that and it was the hottest thing ever. He said he got nothing but butt.
Jon played a clip of Denise talking to Howard about dressing up for the guys she dates. After that the guys talked about how into all of that Denise seemed to be. She seemed to be into Howard too. Gary said that Howard said he would ask her out if he was single. He said he thinks that there would be a love connection there if they did date.
Jon asked about the penis grabbing that Denise said she did in that TV show. Sal said that women will do anything for the right paycheck.
Gary said Richard is creepy and he was thinking about that time he got tucked in by elves. He said that might be the creepiest thing he's ever done. He said that makes the pumpkin spa treatment look normal.
Jon asked Richard about how he's going to be going out on Halloween and coming in there early after the parties and parades. Gary told Richard that this isn't a hotel. Richard said that he knows and he probably won't be sleeping there. He said that Brian Phelan will be there early too.
Gary said that Stuttering John used to sleep at K-Rock and he would sleep by Mel Karmazin's office. Gary said Mel's assistant asked them to find somewhere else for him to sleep if he was going to sleep there. Gary said he had no idea he was right there in Mel's office.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they think that Denise misses out on roles after doing interviews there. The guys spent a minute talking about that.
Another caller asked the guys who they would pick if their wives gave them a free pass to be with any woman they wanted. Sal ended up saying he would want Mary Dell'Abate and he'd eat the lining right out of her vagina. Richard said he'd like Elvira or someone like that. Gary said she's like 20 years older than him. Gary asked who he would want that's relevant. Richard said he'd go with Elvira.
Sal asked Richard if he's on some kind of medication that has gotten rid of his hormones or something. Richard said he's fine. He said he's satisfied at home. Sal said Richard used to talk about porn and porn stars all the time. Now he never talks about it. Gary said he's right about that. Richard said his fiancee doesn't want to hear about that stuff. He said that he'd find it disrespectful to do that to her. Sal said that his fiancee must be something else to make him wipe out 58 gigs of porn. Richard said he didn't wipe it out, he still looks at it once in a while. Richard said before he met his fiancee he didn't have sex for 10 years so he was into porn. He said he knew a lot about it but he wasn't an addict.
Sal said that Gary will see a hot piece of ass and he'll say something about them. He said that Richard must really be in love because he never makes a comment in passing or anything. Sal said he and his wife have been through a lot but he still loves her. He said he still looks at a woman's vagina. He said that's what guys do.
Gary said he finds that he's less and less worked up over stuff like that now. In the past it was worse. Sal said that since Richard has been with Kristin he's changed. He said he won't even comment on girls who get naked on the show. He said it doesn't happen at all.
Jon asked if he comments on the guys. Sal said Richard laughs at guys with curved cocks and stuff like that. He likes to laugh at gay porn too. He finds anal sex to be really funny. Richard said Sal and JD laugh at it just as much as he does.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary if Mary opened up her ass for him last night. Gary said that she was sick and they already talked about that. The caller asked Richard and Sal if they think that their quality has gone down or if Howard is dissing them. The guy also said that he'd listen to 4 hours of them talking.
Richard said they find it funny that they're 36 and 41 years old and they get yelled at for not making good phony phone calls. Gary said that they've gotten very upset about that when other people make fun of them. Gary said that when Sal said that ''everyone in the back office'' loved their stuff but no one back there had heard it. Sal said if 3 people heard it back there then he says ''everybody.'' Sal said he had Jared Fox and Richie Wilson who heard it. He said there was someone else too but he wasn't able to remember who it was. Sal said when Howard is pissed off he makes great radio so even when their stuff sucks it can be funny.
Jon said that the guys think that everything they present is funny and that's fine. Richard and Sal said that they really don't believe that. They said that they reject stuff that they create. Richard said it's hard to be subjective sometimes though.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary did great last night. He asked if he searches for teen anal porn when Mary is sick. Gary said he just went right to bed. Richard asked if he's going to have a celebration jack off today. Gary said he doesn't plan his jacking off. He said it just happens.
The caller asked about Howard possibly going to a Podcast and if he really believes that's what's going to happen. Gary said he was just coming up with examples of other things Howard could do. He said he has no idea what Howard is going to do.
Jon took a call from a woman who said she has to call out Jon Hein who is on his list. Jon said he doesn't have that free pass list but he does have an answer. Jon said that he would say Denise would be in the top 2. He said that the other person is someone he'll save for another time. Jon said he thought it was someone from the show but Gary said it could be anyone. Jon said Savanna the porn star is gorgeous. He said that Christine, Sal's wife, would be another one. Sal said ''Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!'' They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how they have 26 shows left to go before they're done there. Howard said that he saw that Robin had some new eye make up on today. He said it's a good look and she should stick with it. Robin said she has no idea what she's doing so she's not sure she can stick with it.
Howard asked Robin about her running and if she thinks that she's going to quit when she's done with the marathon. Robin said she's tired of running now and she'd like to take a break and come back to it fresh. She can't do that because of the marathon. Howard asked if she would back out if she could. Robin said there is something on the table now that she has to keep in mind. She said they want her to do the San Francisco marathon too. Howard said she's turning into quite the runner. Robin said she has enjoyed some part of the training. She said she may continue to do long runs after this.
Howard asked if she's talking about the actual physical activity or something else. Robin said she feels stronger like she can do things. She was carrying around a really heavy bag and it never even occurred to her how heavy it was.
Howard told Robin that he wishes her luck on the marathon. He said that the San Francisco one would be tough with those hills. He said he just looks at pictures of San Francisco and gets tired.
Robin said that she has discovered that the betrayal she heard about was an actual betrayal. She said that it's a betrayal with a small B though. Robin said that someone told her yesterday about it and they pointed out it was a betrayal. She won't say anything more than that though. Howard said he wants to know what it is. Robin said that she thinks that he'd provide a lot of anger if she talks about it with him. Howard said he'll give her some clarity on it. Robin said she may bring it up off air then.
Robin said that she's been very energetic since she started running. Howard said that he's all for Robin running because she has such tremendous energy. Howard said it's almost crazy how much energy she has. He said she should be running in place during the show on a treadmill. Robin said she doesn't feel she even needs sleep at this point. Howard said she has to get some sleep.
Howard said that he's all backed up from being off his feet all day with this broken toe. He said he's backed up inside because isn't running. He said his friend Pat thinks that he could be doing more than he is but the doctor doesn't think it's a good idea.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the show was great yesterday. He asked if Beth gets jealous of him when he talks to Denise Richards the way he does. Howard said he told Beth about her during dinner and Beth thought he was in love with her. Howard said he's not in love with her. He said that he had to deny his love because he had some other people at dinner.
Howard said he had no idea what was going on with Charlie Sheen while she was there. He said the interview would have been totally different if he had known the story. Howard said the guy must be out of his mind to do what he does. Howard said the guy is out of control. He said the guy came to New York to see the kids with Denise and she was at the Plaza Hotel and she had them in a children's suite and Charlie booked the room across from them. Howard said that's cool to be there on the same floor. Howard said they hung out together and then Denise went out with Charlie and some friends to dinner. He even had the hooker at dinner with him.
Howard said the article he read said that Charlie was fucking around with the hooker at dinner and Denise ended up leaving. Then Charlie got all fucked up on whatever he was doing. Howard said that his agent said that he had a bad reaction to some medication. He said the cops ended up showing up to Charlie's hotel room and he was so fucked up he wasn't able to dress himself. The hooker was locked in the room and she had to call another hooker to call for help. The cops didn't find any drugs in the room though.
Gary came in and said that they had some quotes from Charlie from the last time he got into trouble. Howard said that the sad thing is that Charlie would be a major film star if he hadn't fucked up his life. Howard said he's on a hit TV show now. He said that there are many actors who would give their left nut to be on a show like that. Howard said they pray for things like that to happen to them. Howard said Charlie was down to doing some really crap movies before that show. Gary said that show ''Two and a Half Men'' is like the last great show that CBS has left.
Howard read some of the article he had about Denise and Charlie. Howard said that she had to call the police herself. Howard said that he wishes that he knew all of that when he had her in there. Howard said he didn't find out until the interview was over that this had gone down. He said she didn't tell them how bad it really was though.
Howard said it must be weird for Denise to be at dinner with the hooker. He wished that she'd come back today to talk about it.
Howard read some more about what Charlie did in his hotel room and how he destroyed some of the stuff in there. Howard read that they found him stark naked and not coherent. Howard said Linda Stasi wrote about how Mel Gibson is shunned but Charlie isn't because all he does is hit women while Mel is saying things about blacks and Jews. Howard said that they do anything they can to keep hit shows going and if Mel was in a hit show that would still be going too.
Howard read that Charlie's shirt had to be buttoned by the police. He told them that he was out drinking and doing cocaine earlier. Howard read that Charlie got upset when he thought his wallet was missing. Howard wondered what made him snap like this. Robin said that Martin Sheen is a religious guy and his son is the complete opposite.
Howard said that Charlie agreed to pay for the damage to the room and no one wanted to press charges. Howard read that Denise went with Charlie in the ambulance when he was brought to the hospital for evaluation. Howard said the kids were left with the nanny while they went to the hospital. Charlie's agent claims he had a bad reaction to some medication.
Howard said Denise claimed she was getting along with Charlie and everything was ''hunky dorey'' yesterday. He said that she really wanted to talk to them about this story but she kept it quiet until after the interview though.
Howard said he was thinking about Denise and that the guy she fucks in the hotel room. He said that he was going to give a name and Robin would have to think about it. He said it could be Richie Sambora. Howard said that makes sense to him because she's been with him before and he's the kind of guy that might not be marriage material. Howard said he figures it has to be him. Howard said Richie is coming in so he'll have to ask him about that. Howard said he might be the lucky guy who gets to fuck her in the hotel. Howard said his buddy Pat came up with that theory. He said he's going to have him in to promote his exercise book (Anatomy of Strength Training: The Five Essential Exercises) since he's good at that kind of stuff. Howard said the guy is really smart.
Howard said he went on the web site to watch Scott bowling and they only have one camera covering this tournament. He said they don't have a close up or anything like that for the coverage. Gary said it's not a show, it's just coverage. Gary said they're charging for it too. He said they offer a special just to see Scott. Howard said they have to get their shit together so they can have a director.
Gary said Scott called into the Scott Ferrall show last night. Yesterday he was down to 248 out of 252 bowlers. Howard said he still thinks that's impressive that Scott is able to beat a few guys. Howard said that they're all supposed to be professionals and Scott is beating a few. Robin said she pictures all of them being guys with black clouds over their heads.
Howard said Scott stretches before his bowling and it's totally useless. Gary said they were watching it live in the office and it was kind of embarrassing. He said they were goofing on Scott about the stretching. The Howard TV guys showed some of that and it was very little stretching. He said it was basically doing nothing.
Doug Goodstein came in and said that Scott had some black cloud moments yesterday. He stared bowling on the wrong lane and he had a strike that he lost out on because of that. Doug said Scott was cursing up a storm about that. Howard played some of the audio of Scott saying ''Suck my cock'' after throwing a bad one. Doug said that was right after his strike that he lost out on.
Doug said there was another moment where Scott's thumb got stuck in the ball and the ball went up in the air and came slamming down. Howard TV showed that shot too and Howard asked them to replay it because it was great. Doug said that the black cloud has returned. He said Scott is fatigued and he may be done after today. Doug said that they're playing 12 games a day so it's very tiring. Scott isn't used to that. Doug said that his average was 176 yesterday and that was down from 184.5 from Monday.
Howard said Scott probably had his best game after the 6 strikes in a row. Howard said he has to stay out there because it beats coming back to work. Howard said he was watching him on Howard TV and Ronnie was asking why he wasn't using his special ''spare ball.'' Howard said Scott has those socks over his shoes too. Howard said he should have gone in and bowled in his bare feet like Fred Flintstone.
Doug said that Scott was joking about having a trick shot at one point. He just accidentally got a spare and claimed it was his trick shot. Howard said Ronnie told him about this special spare ball that Scott has. He said he'd love it if Scott did great but he's not going to have a turn around if his hand is all blown up from all of this bowling. Howard said it's probably over for Scott. Robin wondered what he's doing at the hotel now. She wondered if he's icing his hand or something. Howard did his impression of Scott talking about what he's doing in his room.
Howard thanked Doug for the update and let him go. He said that they'll have all of this on Howard TV during the daily shows.
Howard said the Howard TV guys must be winding down because he hasn't signed a new contract there yet. Howard said it's kind of throwing a kink into things there.
The caller also asked if they have Hulk Hogan coming in since they just had Jesse Ventura on. Howard said they don't have him on the schedule.
Howard read some email about Gary's appearance on Letterman. The fans liked how well he did on the show and they were calling Scott DePace a jealous bitch for the things he's said to Gary lately. Scott got on his intercom and said he's not jealous and he's going to tell Gary the way he feels.
Howard read about Mike Ditka and Denise Richards interviews. He had a bunch of emails about how great they were as guests. someone complained that Ronnie was in one of the pictures with Denise. Howard said he was kind of upset that Jason didn't get shots of her legs. Jason came in and said he did have shots of her legs but they came out blurry. Howard said he wants to see them anyway.
Howard said he heard that Jason is up close to 300 pounds now. Jason said he doesn't watch his weight so he's not sure what he weighs. Howard had him get on the scale and he was at 286. Howard said he was much lighter than he thought.
Jason said he's sorry about the Denise Richard's pictures but he didn't want to put any bad pictures up on the web site.
Howard read some more email about Denise's interview. The fans seemed to like her a lot. Howard read some email about Sal and Richard's rejected bits and how some people thought the calls were fantastic. Howard said that Sal and Richard were up to more hijinks yesterday after he berated them. He said that seems to get them going.
Howard told the guys that they should take clips of Ronnie and put them together with that chick. Sal said that this woman's room was a mess. He said she's like a complete kook. He said she's got huge glasses on and she's just a nut. Howard played more of the stuff they were writing to her as she was doing her internet show. She told them they can't fuck with her and make her crazy. She said she wasn't doing anything wrong and she's not a baby. Then she said she had to get her bird. Sal said they were telling her that they were going to call the cops and have her bird taken away because she was having sex with the bird. Sal said that's why she was cursing them out.
Howard said that was some accent the woman had. Howard said it must be like a Queens accent since that's where Ronnie grew up. He played more of the audio of this woman flipping out. She kept going on and on responding to what Sal and Richard were writing to her. They were telling her to drink some piss and things like that and it was making her crazy. Sal said the bird was eating her couch while she was ranting. Howard said birds don't belong in those small apartments.
Howard played more of the woman freaking out and ranting against Sal and Richard. Howard said she has a future but she has to do a show with Sal and Richard. She was going off on men and talking about how she hasn't had sex in a long time. Sal said that they have been checking every day to see if she's on but she hasn't been doing any shows. He said she may have killed herself after that show.
Howard said he still had to get to the Jackie clips that he's wanted to play for weeks. Howard said he kind of blew his load in front of Gary and Jon Hein already but he still hasn't done it on the air.
Wheels told Howard that Audrina got kicked off last night. Howard said that proves that good looking women get voted off pretty quick from that show. He said that it's mostly women watching the show and they won't keep the good looking ones on there. Wheels said Stamos was on Kimmel last night and Audrina was on the show. Wheels said that Kimmel was pretty funny with Stamos talking about how he's on all of these shows that are going to get him hot chicks.
Howard said Stamos is good looking, rich and famous so he's got it all. Robin said it's like the new Ted McGinley without the curse. He gets on all of these shows that get the young girls watching and they grow up falling in love with Stamos. Howard said he heard one story from Stamos that was so mind blowing that it would rock the universe. He said he will never tell that story but it's so remarkable and crazy. He said he's not sure if he told the story on the air or not.
Wheels asked if Stamos is going to get Audrina's phone number. Howard said he probably will even though he claims he's in love. Howard said that Stamos will never settle down though. He said that the guy can't do that. Howard said he'd love to turn Stamos ugly for a day just so he can see he doesn't have a personality. Howard said that if he put on 100 pounds and had to live Howard Stern's life, that would be a great TV show. Howard said if they had been able to make that great Stamos story into a TV show it would be the greatest TV show ever. Howard said the story is just so wild.
Howard said when John divorced Rebecca he had girls at his house all the time and he was always just bored. He said Ralph was there and saw that going on and John was walking around bored. Howard said it's kind of like being a king. Howard said John is a really nice guy though. He said he wishes he had to pick up a woman without those looks. Howard said he'd appreciate women if he had to do that.
Wheels asked Howard if he was really going nuts over Denise yesterday. Howard said he was but Benjy was the one who was really out of control. Howard said he was talking about her after the interview and he had to tell him to calm down. Robin had to tell Howard to calm down too. Howard said they have to show the close ups of Benjy during that interview. Howard said they should stick that clip up on HowardStern.com now. Howard said that it's the sexiest thing when she crosses and uncrosses her legs. Howard said that made Benjy nuts. Benjy said it was hot because he didn't know it was going to happen. He saw her white panties and it was a shock to him at the time. Benjy said that she seems gettable and that's what makes her so hot. Benjy said that he just wants to fuck her.
Wheels told Howard not to fuck up and say Denise's name in bed. Howard said his wife is so sexy that he doesn't have to worry about that. Howard said Beth looked amazing last night. He said he's doing just fine. Howard said he had to take a break. He said the best way to calm yourself down about Denise is just tell yourself that she married Charlie Sheen.
The caller asked where the clip ''Keep it real up in the field...aight!?'' came from. Fred played it and said he's not sure where it came from. Benjy said he thinks it was a bike messenger that he got on tape. He said KC had cut it up and he may have had another clip of him saying something about Howard too.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Ronnie looked really creepy in that picture from his web site. The guy said that Ronnie was looking at her in a really creepy way. He said he looked like something from Dexter. Howard wanted to see the picture. The Howard TV guys showed a picture but it wasn't the right one. They had to go to break after that.
Howard came back and said that this guy Benjy Molina is going to get a World Series wring no matter who wins because he played for both teams this season. He said that's the first time that's ever happened in history.
Howard said that Texas pays half of A-Rod's salary and they weren't doing too well so a lot of people think that he threw the games for the Yankees so Texas would stay in it so they could continue to pay him.
Howard said this guy put together a list of CBS excuses for Charlie Sheen. Howard read through those and the guy had CBS comments from each time he was arrested. There were a few that said ''no comment'' but there were others where CBS said that he was a great employee and they wanted to support him in any way they could. Howard had a quote from one woman from CBS who said it was business as usual with Charlie after he had been arrested at some point. Howard said they say no comment at first and then a few weeks later they have a comment. Howard said they've never had any disapproval of his behavior.
Howard said that David Arquette was there so he had the guys bring him in. Howard said he just got off the plane from Los Angeles. David was wearing a suit today. He brought in some champagne for Howard. He said it had no sugar in it so there would be no headache. Howard asked what the tassel was on it. David said that came with the bottle.
Howard told David he looks good. He said he didn't think he was going to come in with all of the controversy going on. David said that no one can control him. He said that the last time he went with the whole truth thing it didn't work out so well. He said he's going to be completely full of shit today.
Howard said he called David and it sounded like he had a lot of people in the room with him. David said he was at the Roosevelt Hotel and he had just opened the room there. He said they threw their first event at Arquette and Beacher's Madhouse at the Roosevelt Hotel. He said they have a lot of wild freak show types in the show.
Howard said he has been worried about David since he made the phone call to the show. David said that he and Courteney wanted to keep their separation private until they figured out what they were doing. Then he got a phone call on a Monday morning about pictures that were out of him and this girl he was with. David said there are some people out there who have to just go away. He said that Gloria Allred has to stop being on the side of these women who are coming out and turning on guys.
David said they're having a blast at Beacher's Madhouse and people bring cameras in there. He said that they might have to start checking people for cameras from now on. He said they just want to have a party there and people are taking pictures of people who may not want their pictures taken.
Howard said that David opened the paper that morning and they were accusing David of cheating on Courteney. That's when he called the show and said that he wasn't cheating on Courteney and he loves her. He and Courteney had a signed separation agreement and he wasn't cheating on her. Howard said David gave them a lot of details about his relationship and David thinks that he may have gone a little too far. Howard said he didn't think it was too far. He said that he understood why David was talking about how long it had been since they had sex. He said he was trying to explain why he was with that woman and how he wasn't really cheating on Courteney.
David said that part of the relationship problem was because of him. He said he can't put the blame on Courteney. He said that he wasn't owning up to his problems. Howard said that many of these people didn't hear the interview and they were still ready to bash him over the head with the whole thing.
Howard asked David if he has just given up on trying to explain it to people. David said that he has changed aspects of his personality over the years. He said that he's usually the life of the party guy and it can rub Courteney the wrong way. He said he has to speak his mind and speak honestly. He said he can't bottle it all up.
David said that it was more him than Courteney. He said he decided not to see his friends so much and he was trying to live her life instead of them sharing their lives. Howard said that happens and they cut their bros out when they get married. Howard asked if he's back with his bros now. David said he is. He said he's like a live wire and Courteney grounds him. He said that he's found new ways to ground himself since they split.
David said that it was great that Howard gave him a personal phone call. He said that was the greatest. Robin asked if he's going to do that for every intern. Howard said he only does that for this intern.
Howard said what was driving him nuts was when Kathie Lee was commenting on David's call. Howard said he's been in a similar situation and he knew that he must have gotten a call from Courteney to ream him out. David said that he did get the call. He said that he was conflicted about the whole thing now. He wasn't sure if he should talk about it. David said it all came out in therapy and it was great. Howard asked how long after the call the therapy session was. David said they're still trying to work things out. He said he took it right up the shitter about that phone call. He said it's all good though.
Howard asked if the therapist approved of the call. David just said the therapist is a great guy. He said Courtney was really cool over the whole thing too.
David said that he's been getting through all of this stuff by listening to rap music. He said he loves this Vinnie Paz guy. He said it just puts you in a mood. Howard said he gets that because he did a photo shoot once and they put on Eminem and it really got to him. Howard told Fred to find some Vinnie Paz stuff. David said he likes Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac too. Fred wasn't able to find any Vinnie Paz stuff. He found a song that David asked for and David was getting all worked up. He was trying to talk to Robin and get her to dance.
Howard said he heard that David has been out every night partying. David said that's not true. Howard asked how he's going to date when he gets burned by chicks. David said he never did call that chick back. He said he got warned by someone about these women who are hustlers. Howard said he read that she went out with Ryan Seacrest too. David said he doesn't know if that girl turned him in or not. He said he knows a lot of things but he doesn't want to say.
David said that he opened this club up so he meets people there. He said he's still in love with his wife and that's the bottom line. He said they're trying to make it harder to communicate with each other and he's trying to make her miss him more. Howard said if he keeps providing his friendship then she's getting the best part of him that she wants. David said it is making him crazy. He said she wants calm and peace and he's at a place where he wants to fuck quite a bit. Howard said that's typical. You get out of the situation and you look for the woman and the connection with her.
Howard said he saw a picture of David out with his kid and Courteney and David looked confused in the picture. He said the picture said a thousand words. Howard said he almost picked up the phone to talk to him again. Howard said he knows what he wants from a woman and he knows the feeling. David said he wants the affection from a girl again. He said some of the girls you meet aren't long term types. He said he's not sure about the long term types either though.
Howard said David must be excited about meeting new girls and stuff. David said he's excited about the new club with Jeff Beacher. He said that they're getting this club going and people are having a blast. He said they have tables and stages everywhere and people are dancing and having a great time.
Howard asked David if he's getting laid. David said he has gotten laid. Robin said he got laid and then got fucked. David said she's talking his language now.
Howard asked David how many girls he's had. David said he had just one since that other one. Howard asked if he was afraid of getting burned again. David said the kind of girls he loves and would like to be with are high class types.
Howard said he had Denise Richards on the show yesterday. He asked her if she would like to go out with David. She didn't want to date him because she wants them to get back together. David said the problem is that he wants to date girls like Little Lupe. Fred threw in some clips of Lupe while they were talking about her. Howard said he got angry when he thought about setting David up with Denise.
Howard said he told Gary he bet that David had been read the riot act and he wouldn't be able to talk today. Howard said Courteney has her emotional friend over there. David said he loves her with all his heart and they'll figure it all out.
Howard said David is doing Regis today. He said Regis may bring up all of this stuff too. He said he should fuck Regis and Kelly Ripa. Robin told him to be like Charlie Sheen.
Howard asked David if he's been drinking lately. David said he has been drinking a little more than usual. Howard said the chicks must be hitting on him like crazy now. David said he does see some girls out there. He said there is some stuff happening. Fred threw in some more Little Lupe clips.
Howard told David he should date Jennifer Aniston. He said that would be the biggest scandal of all time. Howard told him he has to do that for him. David said they're just friends and that's not going to happen.
Howard asked David if he ever thought about tapping that Jennifer Aniston. David said he really never did. Howard said he had to have thought about that. He said that it would be the greatest thing ever if he got Jennifer. Howard said he wants him to try and he wants it to be known. David said he can't do that. Howard said that Vinnie Paz would fuck Jennifer Aniston. David seemed very amused by all of that. He was giggling like a little girl as Howard was pushing him to fuck Aniston.
Howard asked David where he's living now. David said he has his own place in L.A. Howard asked how many people have been there now that he's single. David said it's not that many. Howard said he's going to give him the gift of Stamos and hook him up. Howard said Stamos is set up out in Malibu and it was stacked with super models. Ralph was there and he was blown away by it. Howard said it was all happening out there.
David said that's the problem with this separation. He said that he loves naked girls and it's ignited a new fire in him. He said he used to go to a strip club so often that it turned into a club for his friends. Howard said the real David Arquette is back after this separation. David said that it's not the classiest thing to go to a strip club so he has to figure out how to act.
Howard said David loves to look at the naked girls and that's what he wanted to do in there when they had Dave Lampert giving the girl the Sybian ride. David said he's back into his own thing now and he likes the feeling of being confident.
Howard asked David where he met the second broad. David said he didn't want Courteney to hear this. He said this is where he's going to get into trouble. Howard said Regis is going to ask him about it too. David said he and Beacher were walking around to different shows to find talent. He said they were both tired and they were kind of down. He said Beacher got a call from some Australian girls he had met in the gym. He said they were 5's and 6's according to Beacher. David said they were prettier than that. David said that if you are going to hook up you may not want to hook up with the hottest ones. He said he likes fat chicks once in a while too. David said that they have to be fun girls.
David said they went up to this room and met 3 girls at the Roosevelt Hotel. He said that's a great place to meet girls too. David said they have a bunch of clubs there and a great burger joint. He said they have their club downstairs there at the Roosevelt. Howard said he may have to check this out. He said he'll bring Beth with him. David said they'll close it out and set it up just for Howard.
David said they went up to this room and the girls were still getting ready. One of the girls said she was ready and this knock out of a blond comes walking out. David said she looked really hot too. Howard asked if they ended up in bed that night. David wanted to leave some of the details out. He said he would just say he had a good time. David said he was pretty sure he went too far already and he was up shits creek. Howard asked what they did after they met. David said they went out and had some fun. He said he didn't want to say where they went.
Howard asked where they went until David answered. He said they went to a club. Howard asked what club it was. David said he didn't want people putting things together and manufacturing stories. He said they went to a club that some guys take over occasionally.
Howard said David must have made love to her that night. David said he just had fun. Howard said he thinks that Courteney and David's marriage is over. David said he's not acting in the appropriate way to keep it going so it's kind of his fault. Howard said he understands why he's doing what he's doing. Howard said he went through a tear for a short time after his divorce. He said it was kind of disgusting actually.
David said after the first girl he slept with he was crying. He knows that's not very sexy but he was going through the end of his intimacy he shared with his wife. He said that it was like putting that away and starting something new. He said that it's like going out in the yard and digging a hole and putting your dick in it. He said he had that emotional love with Courteney and it was like the end of that. Howard said she must be with another guy too. David said that she's the most honest person in the world. Howard said she's a doll but she should be honest too and talk about who she's with. Howard said he doesn't think Courteney is innocent in all of this.
David said he really cares deeply about her and thinks she's the greatest person in the world. He said that he doesn't believe that there's just one person for each person in this world. He said he put his love into his marriage and they had something. He said he feels like he's the best guy in the world. He said he has a good heart and he tries to do the right thing. David said he tries to be cool and enjoy life. He said he needs her to know that too. David said she's incredible and any man would be blessed to be with her.
Howard said he heard that this new guy she's with doesn't want to be with her now that David is out of the picture. David said that they have an amazing show that's actually on tonight on ABC. He said he watches the show all the time. David said he helped develop the show and he's an executive producer on the show. He said he just had dinner with her on the set the other night.
Howard said he never blames the other person. He said if someone cheats in a marriage you get mad at that person. David said that maybe she felt unfulfilled or something. He said that you just have to figure it all out. David said that he was the guy who was ''till death do us part.'' He said that his parents were separated for 16 years and they never got a divorce. He said that his sisters have been awesome too. He said they've been very supportive. Howard said his sister Rosanna is hot. He said he should be dating her instead. Howard said he has beat off to her. David said that's good to know. He told Howard he beat off to his sister too. Howard said he'll have to let her know that. She'll be thrilled.
Ralph called in and said that Beacher had that place in Vegas that was fun. He said the Roosevelt is great too. He said they have a great pool scene out there. Howard asked Ralph if Stamos should take David and train him for a month. Ralph said he had a parade of models coming through his house all the time. Ralph said he had different girls at different times of the day there.
David said that he's still trying to get Courteney back and many of the actions he's done are to make her jealous. He said that he's trying to get back into shape for her. Howard figured it was because he's got to be naked in front of a lot of new girls. David said that he's afraid that he's going to fall in love with someone new. Howard said he will fall in love and then that door will close.
Ralph and Howard think that the whole family thing is going to fall apart too. They're trying to do things with their daughter together but Howard said he'll eventually be picking her up in the driveway of Courtney's house. Howard said it's going to be a nightmare. Howard said that doesn't happen to him but with other people it does.
Howard said he's all caught up in this whole thing. He said he liked David and Courteney together. Howard said they had a great time at Jimmy Kimmel's party. David said that Courteney felt very alone in the relationship. He said he was busy watching boxing and things. He said he fucked something up there.
Howard said maybe she was never in love with the real David. Howard said sometimes people fall in love with something and they end up hating that part of the person.
Ralph said he remembers Courteney making David get rid of some toy collection. David said he has toys again. Howard said Ralph had a girl come to his apartment and she wanted him to get rid of the toys. Howard asked what toys they were that David had to get rid of. David said Courteney didn't make him get rid of them. He just had spaces for his stuff. He said he likes to collect old stuff. He said he liked the Femline from Playboy magazine. He said that it's a little girl with high stockings that Leroy Nieman created. He said he has just one. He said Courteney actually liked that one. He said she didn't like his bobble head collection. He said he has one of his grandfather Charlie Weaver. Howard said he loved Charlie. Howard asked if he got any money from him when he died. David said they got enough to buy a house.
Ralph asked David if he signed a pre-nup. David said they didn't. Ralph said that's good for David. Howard said he heard that Courteney is worth $100 million. David said he's not going to talk about that on the air. He said that it's really not about that and they're going to work that stuff out. Howard said that they're going to have to buy a place in Malibu with that money. They'll get a place right next to Stamos' place. Howard had Fred play some more rap music. Howard then stood up and started singing and dancing for him about his new Malibu house.
Gary came in and said that they pulled a Vinnie Paz song. He had the clip for Howard to play. Howard said it was like the old days in there. Howard played Vinnie Paz's ''Drag You To Hell'' for David. Howard was getting all worked up with David. He sounded like he was ready to go out partying with David.
Howard started singing again. David was singing and dancing too telling Robin to take her titties out. David said that's what goes on at Beacher's Madhouse. Howard said that he has to go to this club. You can find out more at BeachersMadhouse.com. Howard said you can also find out more about David's clothing line at ProprClothing.com. David also threw in a plug for InMoo.com.
Howard took a call from Hanzi who said that David has to come up to Toronto. He said he's the coolest guest ever. Fred started playing some tapes of Hanzi freaking out. Howard and Robin thought they were real clips. Fred had to tell Howard that he was playing some drops in there. Howard was confused over that whole thing.
Howard said he has to check out this Beacher's Madhouse but he's not sure he can keep up. David said he'd be fine. He said they have the time of their lives there.
Howard said that he's thinking about David's future and who he'll be married to in a few years. He said David will fall in love with someone. He said it might be Jennifer Aniston. That led to Fred playing some porn clips.
David told Howard that he wanted to say ''fuck everyone!'' to all of those people who weren't giving him any respect after that phone call he made to the show. He said that everyone came down on him and on Howard and it's just not right. He said that Howard's show is the place to do that stuff. He said he's just ''keeping it real up in the field aight!'' Howard had Fred play more of the rap songs. Howard and David danced and sang some more while that song was playing. David even went into Robin's booth and gave her a lap dance. Howard told him to get out of there. David apologized and said he had just been where no man had been before.
Howard said he had to take a break. David still had some time to spend there so Howard said he'd have him come back in after the break. Howard asked him about the Australian girls and if they were just there visiting. David said they were just visiting. Howard said that's great. He had some fun with her and then she went back to Australia.
Howard said that he has to put the word out to Courteney that there are no mature men out there. She might be looking for one but no man is mature. Howard said Benjy must be jealous of David's life now. Benjy just stuttered out an ''I, I, I...'' and didn't have anything to say. Howard said he's such a douche.
Howard said he sees an ad with David in it every month in GQ magazine. David said he does and he's going to be going to a GQ party soon. Howard said he'll probably meet some other girls there.
Gary came in and said that David has to leave in like 5 minutes. They have to go over to do Regis and Kelly. Howard said that the ladies of New York should watch out. David is in the house. Howard said he really adores David. He said he gets pissed when people don't understand him. He gave David some more plugs for his stuff. They're not opening officially until Valentine's day 2011. Howard said maybe they'll do some shows from that club. Howard said it was good seeing him and he doesn't want to see anymore shit with him. Howard said he loves David and he loves Courteney. David said she loves Howard too. Howard told David not to get too down. Keep listing to Vinnie Paz. David said that's what he does. He does it all the time.
Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to David and telling him he should try to get Jennifer Aniston. He said he'd be a legend if he did that.
Howard said Mariann from Brooklyn wrote a letter to the Daily News about how everyone was treating David and it got printed. Mariann was on the phone and said she said she would show up in her crow outfit and dance for him if he had a club there in New York.
Howard said that they could have a bunch of fans fly out to Beacher's and do a show out there. David said that would be great. Howard told Gary to call Mel and make that happen or he won't re-sign there. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he sees why David got so worked up over Robin. He said she's rockin' the school girl look. He said she's looking really thin. He said she's got a tight leotard on top and it's see through according to the guys there. Howard said the guys are seeing things.
Howard said he saw a picture of Andy Dick on PerezHilton.com with his fly open and his cock and balls hanging out at some cafe. Howard read the article and they say he ran around after some woman and the Paparazzi with his penis out. He was back at his apartment by the time the cops showed up.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Sal and Richard have run out of ideas. He asked if he's still paying them. Howard said he loved that bit he played this morning. Howard said he's very pleased with the boys. He said he'd be more pleased if they had more bits but they have to wait until something good comes up. Howard played the bit they did where they had David Letterman interviewing Gary with Gary's monkey sounds replacing Gary's real interview.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if he'd have Glenn Beck on his show. Howard said he hasn't asked him to come on but if he was promoting something he'd have him on, sure. Howard said he'd be a good guest. The caller said he didn't want to be an asshole but he asked if he had a game to play.
The caller brought up the IQ tests too and that led to Howard asking Jon Hein to take one. Jon said he will do it. Howard said he's wondering if Jon would beat Scott DePace's 122 IQ. Howard said he thinks Jon Hein is very bright and he worked for an SAT company. He asked if he's ever been tested. Jon said he has never taken an IQ test. He got a 1300 on his SAT test.
Howard said he's going to beat Scott DePace. Gary said he'll take any bet from DePace on that. He said that he will bet any amount of money that Jon is smarter than DePace. DePace said he's smarter than Gary so that's all that counts. Scott said Jon could beat him. He said he thinks that he's up around a 118. Gary said he's going to say Jon is above a 125 and maybe even a 130. Scott said they have to agree not to tell Jon about what's on the test. Gary said he's not going to do that. Howard said he'll bet that Jon will beat Eric the Midget.
Howard was wondering what he'd bet on this. The caller said he'd put his money on Scott. The caller said Jon will be around Jason's score. He said that he won't beat Scott DePace. Howard said the shock was that Jason didn't beat Gary. That was lucky for Gary though. He said he would have had to replace Gary with Jason.
Howard said the caller sounds kind of slow so he's not sure why he's taking his advice. The guy said he's not slow. He just has some social anxiety so he's on some medication. Howard asked why he's so nervous. The guy said he just got it from his dad. He said he gets panic attacks and anxiety attacks. Howard said he should just ride it out like a surfer rides out a wave.
Howard said he would put his money on Jon Hein. Howard said he'll be the new high around there. The caller said Will would probably do pretty good too.
Gary said he's going to put up to 5 grand on this IQ thing with Scott. Scott said he's too smart to bet on something he doesn't know about. Gary said he thinks that Jon is so smart that he'd almost put up his book money. He said that Scott is so smart he should be backing himself. Scott said he is backing himself with the $100 bet. Gary said that's not that big of a deal to Scott. He spends that much on a golf game. Scott said he'll go to $200. Gary took that action. Then Scott knocked it back to 100.
Howard said this caller wanted a game but he had to put him on hold. Ralph called in and said he thinks that Jon and Scott will be close. He said Jon has everything to lose with this now. Howard said Jon is willing to see what happens. He said that this is a real bet and he thinks that he'll score higher than Scott. Robin said Ralph thought he'd do better than he did. Ralph got a 112 IQ. He said he's smart enough not to have a camera in his office when he goes to sleep or to get a pumpkin spa treatment.
Jon Hein said that he thinks Will might be smarter than him. Will came in and said this is Jon being an asshole to make himself look good. He said that he's not smarter than Jon and Jon knows that. Jon said he thinks that Fred might be smarter than him too. He said that he, Fred and Will could beat Scott DePace.
Howard asked Fred what he thinks. Fred said he's not sure. He said he doesn't want to take the test though. He said if it works for Jon Hein then maybe he'll do it. Howard said Fred puts his ass on the line for Win Fred's Money so why not do the IQ test. Fred said he doesn't want to do it. He said that he has a lot to lose too. He said that he's not going to do it to put himself in the jaws of the dragon that is the show.
Gary said he'd be wiling to bet on Will as well. He said that he finds him to be very intelligent. Scott said he has Will at a 115. Will said that Scott isn't that bright and he's going to beat 115.
Gary said that Benjy might be one of the smartest guys in there. Howard asked Benjy if he would test. Benjy said he's not sure he's testable. He said he's afraid to do it. Howard said he won't push anyone to do it but he thinks that he could be up there. Benjy said he might be up there with Jon Hein. He said he might be higher but he's in that range. He said he has to think about it. He said he's scared to take it. Howard told him to think about it now and make up his mind. Benjy said that he'd probably be accused of cheating if he did take it and did well. Gary said you can't cheat on this test.
Benjy asked if he can get the full results publicized if he takes it. Gary said they can do that no problem. Howard asked if he'll do it. Benjy said he's still scared. Gary said that they could put him back on the Wrap Up Show. Howard said he already has. Howard said he heard that Benjy was desperate to be on the show so he let Gary put Benjy back on. Gary said that Benjy really misses the show and they miss him too so they wanted him back.
Howard said he's going to look at Will in a whole new light if he does well on this test. Will said he has to beat Scott. He thinks he can beat a 122. Will got a 1200 on his SAT test so he's in that range. Will said he's going to smoke Scott. Jon said he's going to give it his best shot.
Ralph called in and said that he thinks that Fred, Will and Jon won't beat Scott. He said Fred isn't that smart, he just has a good memory. Fred said he's right. He said that he's just dumb and he's glad Ralph is telling the whole world. Fred said he's not going to take the test. He said he's not that smart. Howard asked if he's afraid to score low. Fred said that anything lower than 122 would be embarrassing to him. He said even if it was a 123 he'd be bummed out.
Howard said he's not taking the test either. Howard said he was tested at 168 once so he's sticking with that. Howard said he thinks Robin would test very high too. Howard said she might beat Scott too. Scott said no way. Howard said Robin would score nothing less than 130. Fred said she might be up at 140. Gary asked if anyone there is MENSA material. Fred said he doesn't think he is. Jon doesn't think he is either. Howard said he thinks that Jon will score higher than Scott but he's not MENSA.
Robin said she's not going to test so they'll never know what her IQ is. Scott said he thinks she'd be a 112. Howard said he thinks that Robin is MENSA material. Will gave him a look that made him think that he wasn't right. Howard said Fred is out of this now. He said he's getting mad at him about what he's saying.
Will asked what they think he'll score. Howard said he has no idea. Fred said he'll take DePace over Will. Will told him to shut the fuck up and go play with his toys. Ralph said that Will is such a dummy he got married when he could have been getting laid all the time. Will told him to go sit home alone ''you 50 year old loser.'' They went back and forth for a minute before Howard cut them off.
Howard said he's sticking with his thought that Jon can beat Scott. DePace was wiling to take $300 on Will not beating him. Gary was in on that.
Gary said they might be able to get them tested next week and have the results the week after. Howard said he had to take a break after that.
Howard came back and Gary mentioned that Jay-Z might be coming in soon to promote his book. Gary said that he was reading about the book and it's not a tell-all. He said that he talks about how he wrote his songs and things like that. Howard said it's like a poet interpreting his own poetry. Howard wondered if he's going to admit that he's married to Beyonce. Gary wasn't sure about that.
Howard said he'd like to know what kind of money Jay-Z gets from Rihanna since he discovered her. Howard said he thinks that Kanye may come in too. He said he's dying for him to sing that song about scumbags and assholes.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his news preview. Steve said they have a story about Gary getting Baba Booey'd during an interview. Howard asked Steve how he'd do on an IQ test. Steve said he didn't take any SAT tests so he's not sure how he'd do. Howard asked Jon how he thinks he'd do. Jon said he thinks he'd do well but it's hard to tell with him.
Steve said that Gary got Baba Booey'd by Joey Boots (YouTube video here) during his interview with Beth for Extra. Howard said Beth told him about that. He said she didn't know what to make of it. Howard said she was stunned by it. He said that show Beth is on is taped out in Times Square and no one knows who she is or who Gary is. They make up questions for them and they have nothing to do with Gary or Beth. Gary said there was an Asian guy there who asked about the pictures in the book and he had no idea what he was talking about so he just answered it the way he thought he should.
Steve said that Beth told him during the interview that she hopes Howard retires. She told him she wants him to retire and just stay home. Howard said that is true. She has asked him why he keeps doing it. Howard said he told her he's not going to quit. He said he is wondering though. He's wondering if he'd go insane.
Howard said his parents seem to be pretty content being retired. Howard said he tries to go hang out with them but they both get woozy and things don't go well. Howard said his mom had a root canal and she was all woozy from that. Howard said it was kind of fun hanging out with his parents for a little bit.
Steve said that Gary is out doing publicity for his book (They Call Me Baba Booey) and he was doing some interviews there at SIRIUS XM. He did one with Pia Lindstrom and she does a book reading show. Howard said he didn't know they had a book channel there. Steve said that Gary is supposed to sit down with Nancy Sinatra today.
Steve said that some of the people there are upset that they weren't invited to Gary's book party next week. Richie Wilson was saying that he thinks Gary has changed since this whole book thing came about. Gary said he invited Richie so he's not sure why he'd be upset. Steve said that they'll have more on Scott the Engineer's bowling tournaments today as well.
Ralph called in and said he'd like to know what's up with Yoko Ostrosky there. He said she's trying to break things up. Howard said Beth wants him home because she sees him being pleasant and attentive on the weekends. Then Sunday comes around and he becomes more withdrawn and thinking about the show. Howard said by Monday he's a complete maniac saying he has no free time. He said for her life it would be easier. Howard said he's a better husband when he's not working. Ralph said he could work less days and he'd be fine.
Howard asked Ralph where he's going to be in an hour. Ralph said he has Yoga today. He said that he's getting back into it and he's getting some clarity of mind. Howard said Yoga is a weird deal with the stink and sweat. Ralph said that he had to quit one place because of that. Robin goes to a yoga class where they have it really hot in the room and Howard said he would hate that. He said that people just stink. He said he'd go with her if people weren't so disgusting.
Howard had Jon Hein give his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon ran through some of the stuff they'd be covering today. They ended up talking about David Arquette for a short time. They talked about the aggressive lap dance he gave to Robin and how Howard got nervous during that.
Gary said he had a clip of David Arquette on Regis and Kelly. Howard said that it wasn't more than a half hour after he was on the show and he was already apologizing. In the clip Kelly brought up the Howard Stern interview and she heard his phone call too. She said she understood his point of view in that call and what he was trying to convey. She asked if he was surprise about how out of context the media took it. David told them what was going on with him and Courteney and how he was trying to explain that to Howard when he called into the show that time. Howard said David is handling this all pretty well.
Jon finished up his Wrap Up Show preview and then Howard had Robin start her news.
Robin started off asking Howard if he finds him active or sedentary. Howard said he's sedentary but he forces himself to exercise. Howard said we are animals and we are made to exercise. Howard said that people become lazy when they don't have to go out and hunt your own food. Robin said that they've done a study that finds that you're not active if you're not moving all the time. She said that Howard is actually an exercising couch potato. Howard said they're right. Robin said you're supposed to be moving around all day so Howard is not an active person even if he's forcing himself to exercise. Robin said that it's more likely that you'll die at an early age if you're not active. Howard said they're right.
Robin told Howard he has to keep moving every day all day. Howard said he sits there for 5 hours and then goes home and plays chess for hours. Robin said that he should take up some kind of sport. Howard said he knows a guy who runs between holes while playing golf. Robin said that athletes and trainers are probably the most healthy. Robin said that we can't win because it's ultimately bad or us to sit around all day. Howard said he doesn't care and he's just going to continue doing what he does.
Robin read that Jon Stewart was voted the most influential man of 2010. Howard said he must have missed something there. He said he likes Jon and he wishes he'd come back on the show but he doesn't get why they think he's so powerful. Robin read about some of the other people on the list as well.
Robin read that they're doing another Bourne film without Matt Damon so Matt is kind of upset about that. Howard said he was reading about how the Daily Show doesn't get more than 1 million viewers. Howard said that he must have a pact with someone. Howard said they have like 10 times as many listeners.
Howard took a call from a woman who said there's a guy on a school board somewhere and he posted on his Facebook page that homosexuals should commit suicide. She said that guy is an asshole. Howard said this country has a lot of backward thinkers in it. He said there are a lot of people out there who are not free thinkers.
Robin read about Kara Dioguardi signing on to be a judge on a new TV show on Bravo. Jewel will be the host of the show. Howard said she's a great singer. He said he's surprised that she doesn't sell more records.
Robin read about a new form of birth control that may be coming out soon. It's a gel. Robin said that you rub as little as 3mg on your skin can prevent ovulating hormones. Howard said that sounds weird to him. Robin said it sounds crazy to her too.
Robin read a story about Charlie Sheen and how he's out of the hospital now. Robin read some details about that and mentioned they had his ex-wife Denise Richards on the show that morning but didn't know about the story until after the interview. Robin had some audio of Denise talking about what went on and how her kids have no idea what happened. They had to go to break after that.
After the break Howard came right back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin read about a doctor that brought a dog back to life after it was bitten by another dog.
Robin read about Mel Gibson getting canned from the movie The Hangover 2. She said that director Todd Phillips had to think of his movie family and do what they wanted so they didn't ruin that. They had Liam Nieson come in to replace Mel.
Robin had some audio of someone talking about bullying and how they have to do something to cut back on it in schools.
Howard took a call from a guy who said the David Arquette interview was great today and he bets that the press will be all over him again. Howard said he's right and David did nothing wrong. Robin said that she thinks there will be fallout from it too. Howard said he was hoping she'd say no.
Robin read about how American Al Qaeda may be the biggest threat to homeland security. Robin said that there are people planning for more attacks on the United States.
Howard said they have the ''I'm The Biggest Whore'' contest coming up tomorrow. He said they will be coming in tomorrow to compete for $5,000.
Robin read some more about the Al Qaeda story and then Howard took another call. The caller asked if Howard would go into acting if he doesn't sign on with Sirius again. Howard said the acting thing is ridiculous. He said the movies are so bad that he can't do them. Howard said that the scripts are awful and they never offer him anything good.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he had armpit cancer. He said he's going to use his doctor about how he got it and if it's from his deodorant. Howard said it could be from the aluminum in there. The guy said he's going to be 50 and he lost all of his hair from the chemo. He said he didn't think about asking about it until he heard Howard talking about it. The guy asked if he could come out to the David Arquette party if they take 100 people along. Howard said he's not sure if he's going to do that.
Robin got back to her news and read about how Joe Jackson is trying to fight his son's will but he's been denied again. Robin said they ruled that he has no right to intervene in Michael Jackson's estate.
Robin said that President Obama's approval rating has dropped to a new low of 37 percent. Robin said that 67 percent of people polled think he's doing a bad job. Robin said that Obama is going to be on Jon Stewart's ''The Daily Show'' tonight.
Robin read about the leaks from the Pentagon and how this WikiLeaks is releasing them. Howard said he thinks we need to know what's going on with the war other than where the troops are located and things like that. Robin said that WikiLeaks continues to leak the papers and they have even more stuff about Iraq and Afghanistan. Robin said the guy who releases the documents is running around the world hiding because he's afraid people are after him.
Robin read some details about the upcoming World Series and some basketball news.
Howard took a call from a guy who said if Howard leaves SIRIUS he's going to be canceling his two accounts. Howard said he's sure they'll do just fine without him. The caller doesn't think so. The caller also said that Courteney Cox was on Jimmy Kimmel a few weeks ago and she had nothing but nice things to say about Howard. Howard said he liked her when he met her out at Kimmel's party. He said she was very nice. Howard said he used to kid around about her last name but he was just joking. Howard said he really likes the two of them.
The caller asked if he could have a tour of the studio. Howard said they stopped the tour but the guy whined until Howard gave him the tour.
Howard mentioned an auction that's going on where you can get in there to hang out with them. That's on AuctionCause.com.
Robin read that they're going to be releasing toilet paper without tubes in it. She said that they're going to test it out in the North East and see how it works out before releasing it around the country. Howard said that's like having tissues, not toilet paper. He said he doesn't use that much toilet paper anyway. He said he uses one wipe with dry TP and then uses his wet baby wipes. He said he's almost gone tubeless himself.
Robin said that Willow Smith is in the news again. Howard said she makes him nuts with that ''Whip My Hair Back'' song. Robin said that she's in a new video mash up with Sesame Street characters. Robin said that Willow showed up on stage with Justin Bieber this week. Robin said that she came out during a sold out concert that he had. Howard said he sometimes whips his nasal hair back and forth at home.
Robin read about how Taylor Swift is going to be a wax figure at Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. Howard said he doesn't think she's that good. Howard said she's almost fawn like with those long legs of hers. They had to end the show a short time later. It was around 10:40am.
Gary said he called Howard about Benjy and said they talked about it for a little while. Gary said there are some things Howard asked him to tell Benjy and he agreed to it so that's why he's back.
Jon asked if he's afraid he's going to wake up late one day and never be allowed back. Benjy said he thinks that he's got it under control so he's never late again. He said that he's giving himself much more of a buffer. He said he always thought about how he had to get there by a certain time but now he's leaving home by a certain time. He said it's not the same thing even though it sounds the same.
Robin came in too. She said she wanted to be back for Benjy's day back. Gary asked Robin about David Arquette coming in and giving her the lap dance and asking for a hug before the show. Robin said that he was grinding on her very close today. Gary said that someone thought he was hitting on Lisa G too. Gary said he thinks that David would fuck a keyhole at this point. Robin said he's like an animal that was just released from a cage.
The guys talked about how Ralph called in and told them about hanging out with John Stamos when he got single again. He also talked about what it was like when Howard got single too. The guys talked about how Howard was on a tear for a while. Robin said she used to get updates from people when she'd go out. She said people would tell her where Howard was hanging out.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Gary probably has more books sold than Howard's book ''Private Parts.'' He asked if that would put a strain on his relationship with Howard. Gary said he's not worried about that. He said that he's not going to sell more books than Howard did. Benjy said they sell a lot less books now than they did back then too.
Gary told a story about how he went to a Caldor store to see Howard's book and they had taken Howard's book off of the best seller list. That led to a big thing with the NY Times because they don't like their list being messed with. That probably sold even more books because of the controversy.
The caller asked Robin about the charity stuff she's doing and how she seems to be becoming more of herself on the air. He said it's much better than the character she played on the air for years. Robin thanked him for that. The guy said Robin is very sweet now and it's not all about her anymore. He likes that.
Ralph called in so the guys asked him about Howard and John Stamos getting single. Ralph said that Howard was much more mellow than John was. He said Howard would stay out later than he would now. Ralph said that most clubs wouldn't get cranking until 2 or 3 in the morning but Howard never made it that late. He said that people would gravitate toward Howard though.
Benjy asked if Howard was very successful getting chicks. Ralph said he wasn't watching Howard that close. He said he saw what was going on but he didn't get really personal. He said that Howard wasn't hanging around for the night or anything like that.
Gary asked if Ralph was going out and finding girls for Howard. Ralph said that wasn't going on. He said that he'd ask girls to come over and have a drink but he wasn't going out after Howard asked him to get chicks for him.
Gary said he was out in Los Angeles and there are places where women go to meet famous and wealthy guys. He said it's more so out there than it is in New York.
Ralph told the guys some stories about going out with Howard and hanging out with John Stamos. Gary said he remembers seeing Howard out with a celebrity in those days too. He said he didn't want to say who it was though. Ralph said there were a few celebrities hanging out with Howard back then. He said that he wasn't banging them all but having them hanging around can help get other chicks.
Gary asked Ralph if he got that girl from Star Trek, Terry Farrell. Ralph said he was dating her for a while. Gary asked if he got any cool memorabilia. Ralph said he went to her house one day in L.A. and he was just hanging. He said she had a room that was filled with Star Trek toys. He said he played it down and asked what it all was. She said that she told him that she got one of every toy. He said he had to hold back that day. He said it was tough to maintain his cool.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Robin inspired him to go Vegan after being a vegetarian. He also talked about the David Arquette interview and how Howard went off on the press about their comments since Howard does the same thing when he doesn't have all of the information. Benjy said Howard has admitted he does that and he just gets upset when he knows all of the facts from his own show.
Benjy said that he'd like to know how this flak all affects Courteney and David. Robin said that when you separate from someone you don't want to know who the other person is going out with. David was talking about the Australian girl today so that may not be a good thing.
Jon played a clip from the interview where David and Howard were talking about the aftermath of David's phone call to the show.
After that clip they talked about what they think happened that made Courteney change her mind about David. Gary said that people change and maybe she wanted to move on and not have that same goofy guy that she married.
Jon took a call from a guy who said Gary did a great job on Letterman. He said Robin is looking beautiful these days too. The guy asked Benjy if he's taking this seriously since Howard is being so good to him. Benjy said he is. Jon said he's glad that Benjy is back. He said he wished he had him on the show yesterday because they were talking about Denise Richards. Jon asked if he was having too much fun with Denise yesterday. Benjy said he likes to talk to some of the guys there about wanting to fuck her and things like that. He said he and Sal talk about things like that. He said they can bond over stuff like that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he'd be interested in Benjy taking that IQ test because he seems to be able to handle Howard pretty well when he confronts him. He said that the most intelligent people in history have been borderline insane so Benjy might be very intelligent. He also said that he may be able to buy himself another pass for being late again if he does take it. Gary said they're not giving out anymore passes for being late. He said Benjy is very well read and he is very smart. He thinks that he could do very well on the IQ test.
Benjy said that he and Jon scored very close on the SAT tests and he thinks that's close to what the IQ tests would be like. Benjy said he thinks that with the amount of people there that someone will come out higher than DePace.
Gary asked if he'd be disappointed if he had a 120 IQ. Benjy said he would. He said that he'd be bothered by where he fell and by the number. He said he thinks he did it as a kid and he did very well. He said it would bother him to be lower than someone else on the show. He said he'd really be terrified if he came out at a 90 or something. Benjy said if Fred came out with a 90 then he'd think that he was retarded.
Jon said he's afraid that Howard's opinion of him is going to change if he doesn't do well on the test. Gary said that the only way that's going to happen is if he gets a brain injury on his way to the test. They spent a few more minutes on that before going to break.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up DePace and how he wasn't willing to put up the money for the tests. He must know that it's not a solid bet. Gary said that's what he thinks. The caller said he took a test that the Military gives and he got an 89 on it. He said that they only require a 33 to get into the military. Gary said the US Post Office test is really easy. They have a multiple choice for telling what time it is as one question.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that DePace is a smart guy but he can't get it through his mind that he has to be nice to people. Gary said he can't be mad at Scott because it seems like he doesn't even know he's being cruel when he's being cruel.
Jon said he's pretty confident that he's going to beat Scott but he's not sure about Will. Will said Jon is an asshole. He said he knows he's just busting his balls about that. Jon said he's really not.
Will said he has nothing to gain from taking this test and he thought people thought he was pretty intelligent already. He said Howard apparently didn't think so and maybe he will have to take it to show Howard himself in a new light.
Jon and Will are both going to take the test. Gary said that they were looking to have Scott the Engineer and Ronnie in there too. Jon asked about Goodstein. Gary said his name came and went. He said they wanted Gange because he was so resistant at first. Jon said that Gange is pretty confident that he'll beat Will. Will said they have a $50 bet on that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said he thinks Jon has to take the test or he's a pussy. He said he's been accused of not being a team player. Jon said he agreed to take it. The guy said he heard him whining about it so he wasn't sure if he was going to go through with it.
Gary has $300 on Will and $100 on Jon. He said he won't take any other action. He just wanted to out Scott with that whole thing. He said he's not sure who else would bet on that.
Lilly called in and said she'd love to see how Jackie would do on the IQ test. She asked about Shuli too. Gary said that Jackie is very smart and very analytical and he'd do very well. Jon thinks that Shuli would do pretty well too.
Lilly said that she was sorry about not sending in her picture. She said her husband told her no so she has to go along with him. Lilly said that he thinks that they're going to post it but she doesn't believe that. Lilly said that she's only allowed to call into the show once a week. Gary said that she needs to talk to Mariann from Brooklyn about how she set that up. Lilly said she's only allowed on both shows combined once a week.
Lilly said that Gary was fantastic on Letterman. She said that he looked gorgeous and she was so proud of him. She said they need to delve more into this Scott DePace thing because it sounds very sick. Gary said Scott thinks it's personal and now the guy is mad at him.
Jon and Gary asked Will what Scott says in the car when they're out golfing together. Will said he doesn't think that it's personal. He didn't reveal anything specific.
Lilly asked Benjy if he thinks that his behavior is similar to Howard's when he was first starting out. Benjy said that's not what he's trying to do. Lilly said that she was wondering if his persona of bucking the establishment was like Howard's. Gary said he doesn't think he's trying to be the bad boy or anything like that. He said Benjy isn't that well thought out. He said he's scattered like crazy. Gary said he asked Benjy for some help on his book and he wasn't able to get it in on time. He said he's very disorganized in that way.
Benjy had asked if they could walk by her and not take any pictures. Lilly said that she will talk to her husband more about it. She said that her husband got upset with her asking sexual questions on the show and that's when he put the ban on her. Gary asked what he thinks that she's neglecting by calling in. She said she thinks that he's jealous and he has this crazy thing that she's having an affair with Howard Stern or something. Benjy said he has the feeling that she's hot.
Will asked if she has a Facebook page. She said that if she did send a picture then they'd know who her husband is. She said that's what one of his worries was. She said that she believes they would keep it to themselves. Her husband doesn't believe that. Gary said he thinks that Lilly looks like Alex Kingsley from E.R.
Benjy said that no one would know who her husband was with a picture of her. Lilly said she thinks that they would be able to find out who her husband was if they had her picture. She said that Will would be able to figure it out.
Lilly asked if they think Howard has an eating disorder. Gary said he thinks that he does in some way. They had to move along since the show was getting close to the end. Jon took another call and then said he's glad that Benjy is back on the show. They had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started the show talking about how busy of a day he had coming up. He has a lot of meetings with people. Howard said he's a business man and he has to run his empire.
Howard said he was thinking of Robin yesterday. He said he has a guy in mind for Robin and he invited this guy on the show and he has the whole thing lined up. He joked it was Charlie Sheen. Howard said Robin knows of him but she doesn't know him. He said he's not the typical guest they have on the show though. Howard said Robin is probably going to run off with this guy and not stay on the show. He said he can see a whole thing going down with them.
Howard said he's never going to tell Robin who it is until the guy comes in. He said he'll sit him down and talk to him and not say anything to either of them. Howard said he wanted to hook her up with Tyra Banks' boyfriend but Tyra is with him. Howard said that guy would be good for Robin too. He said he can see them out at dinner with Charlie Sheen and his hooker.
Howard said that the girl who was with Charlie is now saying that she's not a hooker. He said that she's an adult film star. Howard said that she has several names but she's going by Capri Anderson and she's got real breasts. He said he was checking them out on some web site last night. Howard said she was taking anal in this video he saw. He said she was moaning and it was the sexiest thing he's seen.
Howard said they had a clip to show in the studio. Robin sounded a little shocked when she saw what was going on in that video. Howard said this Capri is very hot. JD found the clip and said he wasn't really into it. Howard said he did. JD said you can see more on CapriAndersonTube.com.
Howard said that chick looked like she was enjoying the anal. He said it got him kind of crazy. He said most women don't understand what that does to a guy. He said that it was hot and for a man that's everything. He said that it's the moaning and trying new stuff that turns guys on. Howard said it's like having a new truck when you're a little boy.
Howard said he can't imagine why Charlie Sheen would want to get so high that he doesn't know what's going on. Howard said the woman in the next room in the hotel heard some of what was going on and they were having a good time at first. Howard said he read that Charlie was fucking around with this girl in Danielle which is one of the nicest restaurants in the city. Howard said he takes Beth there on special occasions. Howard said Beth will get dressed up and they'll go and have a nice dinner. He said it's really classy and expensive.
Howard said it's weird that Charlie was making out with this chick in front of his ex-wife. Howard said the guy is real trash and not classy at all. Howard said no one is defending Charlie Sheen but CBS will. Howard said someone wrote an article about how CBS will never criticize the guy. Howard said what matters is that his show ''Two and a Half Men'' is the most watched sitcom in prime time. Howard read the article and they were talking about the big ratings they get with that show even though it's been around for 8 years. Howard read that it generated $155.1 million in ad revenue for CBS. Then you have to add in syndication and DVD sales.
Howard said one person did come out and defend Charlie. It was Tabitha Stevens. Howard read a note she wrote about the whole thing and she said that she's known Charlie for a long time and she doesn't think Charlie would do anything to hurt that girl. She said that she thinks Charlie was just partying hard and the girl was afraid. She said she hopes things get better for Charlie. Tabitha said that he's actually an awesome person and he's been nothing but respectful to her. Howard said there are defenders out there. Robin just said ''Wow!''
Howard said he's going to bring this guy in and ask him about how unhappy he is with the broads he's meeting. Howard said that the guy is a runner. Robin said that's a turn off at this point. He said the guy doesn't seem to like running that much. He's an African American man and he thinks that he's doing the running like a white man would. He said he runs in the cold and he thinks that only white people do that.
Howard thought about it and said that he's not going to do this. He said that it's a bad idea. He said he'll still have the guy on the show but that's it. Howard told Robin to just give him the hand signal if she isn't interested. Robin said they don't always go for the same kind of guys. Howard said this guy runs with a crowd that Robin would like. He said she'd be out having a good time and he'd get angry at that. Howard said it's not the ''The Rent is too Damn High'' guy either.
Gary came in and told Howard that this is turning into a disaster. He said that the whole thing is a disaster. Howard said that Letterman's producers are not out there commenting like this. Howard said that Gary did that and he did something else that he shouldn't have done. He said that he's been put in a weird position. He said he won't even talk about that.
Howard said he's happy that Gary has a book deal but this whole thing is a mess. Howard said he was so pissed he wasn't able to look at Gary this morning. Gary said he knows and he's mortified by the whole thing. Howard said they had a big picture of Gary and a bunch of guess and his thoughts on how they do on the show.
Howard said Gary has an overly aggressive publicist. Howard said that person is setting him up with stuff he shouldn't be doing. Howard said that if Gary doesn't want to be producer anymore he'll put him in Robin's chair. Gary said he agrees with Howard. He said he doesn't know what's going on.
Gary told Howard the book company had a bunch of interviews set up for him. He said he got the call from this interviewer and they were talking to him like it wasn't an interview. He said he was waiting for it to start and it turns out they had already started it.
Howard said Gary did an interview with Pia Lindstrom and she said he's a perfect interview because he doesn't shut up. Howard said no one is going to respect Gary over this stuff. He said that he can't go out and talk about the guests the way he did in this article.
Howard said Beth told him that Gary was a great interview. Gary said while they were there they asked him about David Arquette but he turned that down. He said he may have had a lot to say but he wasn't talking about the guests. Howard said Gary should have said that everyone who comes in is a great guest. He said he can't be bad mouthing their guests.
Howard read some of the quotes they had from Gary about guests like Jennifer Love Hewitt, Ashton Kutcher, Wilmer Valderrama and a bunch of others. Howard said Gary shouldn't have said these things. Gary said he knows. He was well aware of his screw up. Howard went off on Gary about all of these quotes that they had about their guests.
Howard said Gary has to rein it in a little. Gary said he knows but it was just one interview. Howard said he had a long day yesterday and this is what he read on top of all of that. Gary said he was stupid in that interview. Howard said he thinks that he's feeling the pressure. Gary said he's really not. He just fucked up in this one interview.
Howard said it's hard to respect Gary after that. Gary said that people think this is a tell all book but it's not. He said that when people read that article they're going to think it is a tell all book. Howard said he was kind of bummed about this yesterday. Gary said he was too. Howard told him not to bring this up off the air. Gary said he won't.
Robin said that Gary has to realize that the reporters are interviewing him as soon as he starts talking. Howard said he's told Gary before when they were at NBC that he had to stop talking to reporters. Howard said that he'd just spill the beans on everything. Howard said Gary has to be a producer or an entertainer. He said he has to choose which one it is. Gary said he knows.
Howard asked Gary when his book promotion is over. Gary said it could be over by November 3rd if it doesn't do well. Howard said he's happy for Gary but he has to use his head a little bit. Gary said he knows that he's happy for him. He said he can tell. Howard said that this Gellman from Regis and Kelly would never comment on how a guest does. Howard told him to go talk to Tim for an hour, that's his punishment. Fred played a bunch of Tim clips while they were talking. Howard said he doesn't regret the day he hired Tim. Howard said he never reads about him in Us magazine. Howard said he's the greatest program director ever.
Howard asked Jon Hein if they're getting good ratings. Howard said he doesn't get the show and this chick who plays Chicklis' wife is too hot for him. Jon said the show is doing okay but not great. He said that they're not even number one in their time slot. He said one of the guys behind the show was a ''Heroes'' guy.
Howard said he just got the new Superman comic book and it's pretty good. He said he must be retarded though because he got confused about what was going on in the middle of it. Howard said he had to put it down and think about it. Howard said he was at a loss to explain it.
Howard said he just goes and plays chess when he gets frustrated. He said he gets bummed out about his own intelligence when he doesn't get a comic book. He said it should be easy to understand.
Howard asked Jon if he thinks he's right about what he's saying about Gary. Jon said he is absolutely right. Howard said he wasn't looking for approval or anything but he thinks that Gary shouldn't be talking about their guests. Howard said Jennifer Love Hewitt has never even been on the show so he's not sure why he's talking about her ''not faring well'' on the show. Howard said he'd like to interview her so why does Gary have to say anything? He said that she's going to read that and wonder why she'd ever go on the show if they don't like her.
Howard said he was so bummed out last night that he was thinking about just quitting and getting out of the business or at least quitting and reinventing himself.
Howard said he wanted to read the thank-yous in Gary's book but then he started to get angry about the whole thing. He said that Gary is his producer and he's writing a book. Howard said Gary is taking advantage of him because he's a nice guy at the end of the day. Howard said Gary isn't doing it consciously but he knows he'll just let him off the hook. Howard said it's all very Baba Booey-ish. He said he's always going to be wooden in his mind like Pinnochio. Howard said he can't put him on par with Rob Burnett and Gellman. He said he likes Gary but he's not like those guys.
Howard said that if he had fired Benjy the first time he was late then Gary wouldn't have done that article. Howard said he would have been too scared to do that. Gary was fooled though. He and Fred goofed on Gary and did their impressions of him claiming that he was fooled by that reporter.
Robin said when she had her book out she told her mother not to answer the phone and talk to anyone. She said that she ended up taking some calls and the people had convinced her that she was against her and in cahoots with her father. Robin said that you can't trust a reporter.
Robin said she was telling Scott that he's mean spirited and he didn't understand why that was. Howard said he is coming off kind of bitter. Scott said he's really not. Gary told Scott that he should just admit that he's bitter. They went back and forth arguing about that. Scott said he's not going to worship Gary over his book. Robin said this is her point. he's not supposed to worship him. He could be happy for him. Scott said he is happy for him but he's not proud of him for something like that.
Scott said that everyone gave him a hard time about his Video Caddy. Howard said that's because it was a piece of shit. Scott said maybe Gary's book is a piece of shit. He doesn't know because he hasn't read it yet. Fred said that his Video Caddy is a glorified C-clamp. Scott said that's not what it is abut it's not the same comparison. Howard said he'd be happy for Scott if that thing was successful. Scott said he's happy for Gary's book but he's pointing out the hypocrisy there. Howard said everyone is happy for Gary over the book. Howard said he's not as happy as he was after that article yesterday.
Scott said he gets the feeling that they have to worship those five people in there and no one else. He said that JD has done stuff too that deserves some praise. Howard said he thinks that he's hearing a guy who is behind the scenes and he's sitting there watching ''the five of us'' and he's upset that they get so much attention. Howard said that they are elevated in a sense but his resentment of that is wrong. Scott said when there's something with them they have to be praised but when anyone else there does anything they don't talk about it. Scott said they didn't praise Richard for his album. Howard said he praised Richard over his album. Gary said that Scott is just lying. He said he made that up.
Howard said Scott spends all day watching them and the resentment just came out. Howard said he's very Scott the Engineer-ish today. He said he's an angry man. Scott said it's not like that. He said that Gary just wrote a book, he didn't climb Mt. Everest. Howard said he's just ''Wah, wah, wah...'' He ended up singing to the opening riff of ''Aqualung.'' Howard would sing line after line about Scott's complaints and then throw in ''Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah...'' Scott threw in some of his own lines.
Gary said he could go to a whole other level. He said that Scott talking about the 5 in there he could say that he doesn't even belong in that 5. He said Scott would say that he just has to listen to him because they think he's in that group of 5. Scott said that what Gary said is just not true.
Howard said he was reading Rolling Stone magazine and this guy was talking about Mick Jagger and Keith Richards and how great things were when they started out. Keith blasts Mick in his book and he says he can't even stand him now. Howard said that's all ''Wah, wah, wah'' stuff too. Howard said this is like Scott DePace complaining about them. Howard said Mick had to deal with a drug addict for all those years. Now Keith has cleaned up and he wants to be friends again. Howard said the only thing missing is Mick Jagger's point of view. Howard said that hostilities build up over the years and they come out like this.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about the Richards book and how he blasted Mick about being a second rate singer and things like that. Howard said the whole thing got him pissed off. Robin said that if he had written a nice book then no one would want to read it. Robin said that it's that daddy syndrome thing that Howard always talks about. Robin said that he must be trying to get Mick's attention and this is how he's doing it. Howard said that the two of them are nothing without each other so he doesn't get why he'd bite the hand that feeds him.
Gary said he might not care because he may not even have to work anymore. Howard said that Keith is super wealthy so he doesn't have to work again. He could be right.
Gary said that Scott has dug in and said he feels the way he feels. Howard said Scott seems to resent the people who are on camera. Scott said they're over analyzing this. He said it's not that big of a deal. Scott said he sees a trend there and that's what he's pointing out. Howard said he's seeing a trend that they're getting the attention. Scott said the 5 people and what they do is all gold. Howard said that Gary takes shit on the show all the time. Scott said he takes shit on the show too.
Fred said there are 14 pages of Baba Booey songs in the system. Gary takes shit all the time. Gary told Howard that there's a new song parody that just came in. Howard played that song and it was Sal singing about this latest incident. Howard said they make a joke out of everything there and that's a problem. He told Gary not to apologize off the air either.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he has a dog who acts just like Gary. He said his dog shits on the rug and gets sad about it. He said that he's like a dog that doesn't care. The guy said he'd tell Gary to shut the fuck up and take it. Howard said he used to make him repeat after him.
Howard wondered who the 5 were in there. Robin said it must be her, Fred, Howard, Gary and Benjy. Scott said that he was actually thinking about Artie. Scott said that they don't understand him and maybe it's his IQ. He said that was just a joke though. Fred said he doesn't think it was a joke and maybe they just don't get him because he is so smart.
Howard said they have the I'm The Biggest Whore Contest coming up. Howard said they have a few girls coming in to tell them how big of a whore they are and America will get to vote on the winner. Howard said he might even let Scott DePace judge. They went to break a short time later.
Howard came back and said he had audio of Charlie Sheen's girl, Capri, from the other day. Howard played the clip and said that it was a woman with a strap-on and she was sticking it in Capri's butt. Howard said he knows it's all bullshit but he likes it.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her news preview. Lisa came in and said that the girls are wearing a lot of cologne today. She said she spoke to Roz Frank who used to work with Gary at WNBC. She's working at a museum now. Lisa said that Roz said that she didn't mean to be mean to Gary when she was working with him there. Howard said she has probably grown up a little since then. Howard said working with Imus would probably make anyone crazy. Lisa said that's pretty much what Roz said. She said that the pressure of the job got to her and she always thought Howard was funny and he always made her laugh. Lisa told Howard about what Roz did after WNBC and how she got out of broadcasting eventually.
Lisa said she spoke to Vinnie Paz after they played his stuff on the show yesterday. She said that he's a big fan of the show and he heard them talking about him yesterday and almost rolled out of bed laughing. That led to Fred playing some of Vinnie's music.
Lisa said they have a story about Robin's busy day because she's taping the Rachel Ray show. Robin will be on talking about her charity and they've taped some stuff there at the studio that will air on that show. Howard said he's sick of Robin getting all of this praise. He was referring to DePace's comments earlier.
Lisa said that they found out who has been doing Robin's tweeting when she's working. Howard said he thinks Robin should be doing that stuff herself. Lisa said they have raised quite a bit of money with the latest charity thing.
Fred played an intro for Howard that he played as they were starting up the contest. Howard had the first contestant come in. Her name was Ava Devine. Howard spoke to Ava about how big her breasts were. She had them enhanced. Howard said she's in the porno industry. He said that any girl who is a real whore would have to be in that business. He said that she might be a social worker too. Howard asked Ava to convince him why she's the biggest whore.
Ava said she is known as the lady of the lake and she will do anyone, anytime and anyhow. She said she loves random strange men, little people, mentally retarded people, people with diseases and all of that. Howard asked if she'll just fuck any retarded person. Ava said she worked at an escort service when she was younger and she would go see retarded people and have a good time with them. She said that a lot of girls would turn them down. Ava said she would even fuck retarded guys for no money. She hasn't done that yet but she would. She said she loves cock and she loves cum on her face.
Howard said that Ava estimates she's had 7,000 guys. She used to do 7 or 8 guys a day while working as an escort. Howard said she claims that she'd go to swingers clubs and blow up to 15 guys. She said that she has one guy who loves to eat loads and he's a bi-sexual. She said they go out for fun and blow people together. Howard said that she sounds like a guy in the way she brags about having sex. Ava said she doesn't usually have orgasms at the time but she'll have them later on when she's thinking about what she did. She said she loves thinking about the whole thing and getting off on that later.
Howard said that Ava did a guy she met at a gas station one day. Ava said she met this guy who told her that she was sexy and she had to do him. She said that flattery gets you everywhere. She said she did the guy right there at the pump at the gas station. She said she finished him off right before her gas tank was filled.
Howard read that Ava likes Benjy and Fred. She said she thinks that Benjy is pigish and horny. She meant that in the best way. She said that she saw him make out with a girl on the show who wasn't so hot and she thought that was hot. She said she'd let Benjy fuck her. Ava said she can find beauty in anybody. Howard asked Benjy if he was turned on. Benjy asked her if she was in Cum Guzzling Whores 2. She said she probably was but she will do any movie so she doesn't even know what she's been in. Gary asked if she's against getting fucked in the ass. Ava said she's an anal queen. She loves it. Ava said she loves double anal and she takes fists up there. She said she once took a lava lamp up her ass.
Howard read that Ava once ate an 80 man cum burrito. She said it's not as gross as it sounds. She said she loved it. Ava said all of the guys were so great and so horny for her. She doesn't even mind fat and stinky guys. Ava said she's learned how to not breath in with her nose. She said that really helps. Ava said that she doesn't care about the stink if she can't smell them.
Howard said that Ava is in the middle of a divorce and she's in that because her husband didn't want her being part of this contest. Ava said she is the biggest whore and she had to be part of this.
Howard said that Sal was going to come in and talk to Ava. Ava wanted him to touch her while he talked to her. Sal came in and said he was ready to rip apart this little fuck bucket. He said he can't touch her since he's married. Then Sal said he'd touch her a little bit. Howard said his wife has an emotional friend so he should be able to touch her.
Sal said he had a retarded cousin and he wanted him to come in and talk to her. It was Richard. Ava had him come over to her. Howard told them to talk a little bit. Richard did his retarded voice and he was trying to get her to have some dirty talk. It wasn't working so Howard told Sal to just talk dirty to her. He said he doesn't care about Richard. Sal told Ava to whip out her tits and then started getting really graphic about what he wanted to do with her. He wanted to wipe his shit streaked dick all over her face. They were both talking dirty to each other for a few seconds. Howard said that was terrific. He told Sal and Richard to leave since Richard was drooling and still talking like a retarded person.
Howard asked Ava what she was going to do with the 5 grand if she wins. She said she's going to take her parents on a vacation. Robin asked if they know what she does for a living. She said they have no idea. They think she's a clerical assistant working for very rich men.
Howard said that Ava was a filthy whore and he liked that. Robin asked how old she was when she realized she loved dick. Ava said she and her friends would play when they were little girls and they'd mess around. She said that she'd play the guy and rub all over her friends. Robin asked if she had sex yet today. Ava said she hadn't yet but the day isn't over.
Howard had contestant number 2 come in. They had an intro for her. Her name is Sabrina Deep. Howard said that she's a pretty girl and very tall. Sabrina is 5'11'' tall. She said she probably weighs 118 or so. Howard asked why she's a whore. Sabrina said that Ava was amazing. She said she thinks that she's a filthier whore than she is though. Howard asked why that is. Sabrina said she works in the adult industry but she's a big fan of her fans. She said that she wants to get them off all the time. Sabrina said she has to stalk them out and get them in bed with her. Sabrina said she sometimes fucks them when no camera is on. She said that she's started doing some fan stalker movies and she sets it up like she's going to just meet them and then she gets them on camera.
Howard asked if she takes a break from this ever. Sabrina said she never does. She said she blew the cab driver this morning. Sabrina said that was before she came to New York. She said she was in Florence and the guy had a sticker that said ''Taxi of Love'' in Italian. She said the guy likes to have sex with his customers so she ended up doing him. She said he wasn't great looking but he had a cock. She said that he had an odor and it wasn't that bad of an odor. She said it can be enjoyable. She said that she likes sweaty balls and cock.
Howard read that Sabrina has had sex with over 6,000 men. She said it's hard to count. She said that she just started in porn at 26 and she's 32 now so she's done all of those guys in that time. Sabrina said she has no problem getting wet for these guys she's with. She said that she doesn't have to bother. Sabrina said she loves anal too. Sabrina said she likes it deep and hard with anal.
Howard said Sabrina is also married. Howard asked her about fucking guys in front of her husband. She said he likes that and they go out of their way to do that stuff. She said they go to clubs for people who are just like them. She said there are actually a lot of them out there.
Howard asked Sabrina to show her panties to everyone. She was wearing purple panties. She said she has real breasts too. Howard asked to see them. She showed them to him and Howard said they were very nice. Howard said Robin is all natural too.
Howard asked Sabrina about doing bukakke and how she likes guys to cum all over her. She said she likes to get dirty and had to try it. She has guys cum in a bowl and drinks it. She said that she loves doing that and she does it often. She said it's flattering when a guy cums for you and she has to drink it down.
Howard told Sabrina that Sal was going to come in and talk dirty to her now. Sal came in and told her to take off her pants. Then the two of them talked dirty for a few seconds. Sal was calling her names and said he was going to spit on her ass. He hocked one up and spit on her ass. Howard said that was enough of that. He said he couldn't take it. He said Sal is the creepiest. Sabrina wanted him to finish before he left. Sal stuck around and told her to talk dirty to him. He said she wasn't a whore, she was a pain in the ass. He ended up yelling at her like she was his wife.
Howard said Sabrina was very good. He said Sal is just an angry guy. Sabrina said he's obviously just frustrated. Howard said Sabrina is a dirty whore and they'll have to wait to find out if she gets the votes. She said that her fans get to fuck her and you can follow her on Twitter to find out how.
Howard had the next contestant come in. Her name was Bree Olson. Howard said that he knows her. He said that this is tough competition. He said that she's so innocent looking. Howard said that she can't possibly beat these two girls. Bree said that she goes to feature dance at clubs and she'll end up having sex with all of the guys who get private dances. She said that she has impregnation fantasies and she lets them cum inside of her. She said that she knows her cycle though so she won't do it if she thinks she could get pregnant. Bree said that the guys end up lining up for dance after dance. Howard asked if she's a nymphomaniac. She said that she really is. She said there are some days she'll have sex with 30 guys. She said she has gone to hotels looking for guys to have sex with before too.
Howard asked Bree about the guys she's fucked at hotels and she said she asked the janitor to do her and he looked at her like she was drunk or something. She said this is all done when she's sober though. Bree said the janitor wouldn't come to her room but she kept following him around. She said she told him to come fix her TV and she got naked for him as soon as he came in the room. She said she had like 27 loads in her from the other guys who had been with her. She said she looks like the girl next door so the guys never expect this. She said that she just goes braless and wears a tank top and flops around.
Bree told Howard about the janitor and how he told her that he would remember her forever. She said that she did that guy after doing all of those other guys. She said that she will vibrate afterward and she keeps the loads inside of her for the night. Then she'll shower in the morning. Bree said she uses her vibrator every night. She said she loves being degraded.
JD came in and told Howard that she went to the airport with cum on her face. Bree said that she had sex on set and the guy blew on her face and left it there when she went to the airport. Bree said she tweeted about that yesterday. She said that she also fucks the crew on the sets of her movies. Bree said she likes regular guys and not the guys who are all shaved down and stuff. Howard said she really likes men. Bree said she really does. Bree said she'll give guys her phone number and she'll invite them to her hotel room and sometimes they just don't even show up.
Robin said she was speechless. Howard asked if she'll fuck retarded guys. She said she hasn't but she probably would. Bree said that her agent got a call from a deaf guy who wanted to do her. Bree said that they should give them a handicap discount if they can't afford to be with her.
Howard had Sal come in again to talk dirty to Bree. She had something in her mouth and she said it was something called Kaboom that gives her harder orgasms. Howard told her to act like Sal is a hot guy during this. Sal then started in with her telling her to take it off. She wanted him to help. Sal told her to just take it off. Bree was talking in a baby voice as he did this. Sal wasn't able to help getting the dress off. Howard said Bree looks really good. She said she lost 30 pounds. Sal and Bree spent a minute talking but they didn't sound like they were talking to each other. Bree was doing the baby voice telling her ''daddy'' to do stuff to her. Sal told her to gargle his piss. Howard cut them off saying that Sal ruins every one of these things. He said he was so gross.
Howard asked Bree if there's anything she hasn't done. She said she hasn't done a DP yet. Howard asked what she pictures them doing together. Bree said that she's been listening to Howard since she was like 11 or 12 and she remembers him pointing laser pointers at the girls and she always wanted to be one of them. Robin said she's there now doing that.
You can check out the girls on their web sites: AvaDevine.com, DeepSabrina.com and BreeOlson.com.
Howard said he was going to go to the judges now. He spent a few seconds going over each of the girls and then asked Robin for her opinion. Robin said that she had to go with Ava Devine based on her responses to who and what she'd have sex with. Howard said JD is going to be the next judge. He said that JD must have an opinion. Howard asked him about Kissyphur but JD didn't want to get into that. JD said he's had a crush on Bree Olson for the longest time. He said he was with Robin about Ava though. He said she'll fuck anyone and anything so he had to give her his vote. He said he still loves Bree though.
Howard asked Fred for his vote. Fred said that a girl who has cum on her face is a big whore. He said that Bree was a big whore but he had to pick Ava Devine.
Scott DePace was up next. Scott said he was going with Sabrina Deep because Bree was too nice looking. He thinks of whores as looking more dirty.
Howard went to Gary next. He said Gary always has an opinion. Gary said this was tough. He said that Bree is so cute and she did that Janitor without a condom. Gary said that he had to go with Bree. He said Bree seemed to be more sincere about it all. Howard said he has the feeling she's a good girl but she's gone bad. Gary asked when it all started. She said it was pre-teen that she started doing it all. She said it started with Teddy bears and then it was with girls. Howard said it's crazy how horny they are.
Sal was next up to vote. Sal said that Sabrina was the one who he was giving his vote to. He said she took his spit up her ass. She said her ass was still wet. Sal said his breath still stinks from that too.
Benjy got a vote too. Benjy said that he didn't think that Sabrina was so into that stuff. Sabrina said she really is though. Benjy said that's just the way he felt. He said Ava will fuck anything and that's incredible but he feels that Bree is the biggest whore because she seems to be compelled to do that stuff like she needs it. Howard asked Bree if she could give up all men just for him. She said she would. Howard took that as meaning she's not the biggest whore. Benjy said that she needs his cock right now because she can't help it. Bree said she didn't need Benjy. She said that she tries not to do it but it just happens so Benjy might be right in that way. Howard asked if anyone wanted Benjy's cock. Ava and Sabrina said they did. They were ready to fuck him as soon as he said he thought Bree wanted him to fuck her.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Bree is his favorite porn star of all time. He said that his vote has to go to Ava Devine though. He asked if any of them have ever been on Public Disgrace. Ava said she was going to be on but they canceled it. Howard had no idea what it was. Bree said she's scheduled to work with them in March. JD said they bring the girls out and they parade them around and let guys have sex with the girls in public places.
Another caller said that he wanted to win a date with the girls. Howard said that's not what this is about. He gave his vote to Sabrina. She told him to follow her on Twitter and he could be the 9th guy who fucks her today. She's already done 8. The guy said he'll be on the train after work. She said she wasn't kidding either.
Eric the Midget called in and said that he had to vote for Bree because he's met her. Howard asked Bree if she would fuck Eric. She said she would do it on Midget Mondays. Howard asked if the other girls would do him. They both sounded like they'd do him too. Howard asked how tall Eric is. Eric said he's 3 feet tall. Gary said he's all hunched over though so he looks 2 and a half feet. Eric told him to shut the fuck up.
Gary said that America is going to vote by calling 888-9-ASSHOLE. The web site has crashed so they can't do the voting there. Howard told the girls to relax while they take a break and they'll come back with the results. They went to break after that.
Howard asked the girls if they get jealous that Charlie Sheen was in a hotel room with that girl. Sabrina said she has a huge Charlie Sheen fantasy. She said the fantasy is sharing Charlie's cock with another woman and the other woman is telling her what it's like being fucked by Charlie while she's fingering her clit.
Howard asked Ava if she likes Charlie. Ava said she likes the craziness. She said she would love to be there with him in that hotel. Bree said she has no respect for Charlie. She said she might fuck him but she has no respect for him.
Howard said Ava said she would fuck Beetlejuice. Ava said he needs love and attention just like anyone else. High Pitch Eric called in and asked if they would fuck him too. Ava said she would finger his ass and let him cum in her mouth. Eric asked if he could see her today. Ava said one of these days she'll do it. Ava said if she comes on the show some other time she'll do it. Eric wanted her this weekend but she's got other things going on.
Howard said Gary had the envelope for him. He looked at the results and said he was shocked. He said it was time to find out who the winner of the Biggest Whore contest is. Bree was laughing. She said she just found the whole thing funny. She said she really loves Howard. Howard asked the girls if they wanted to win. They all wanted to win but they thought the other girls were great too.
Howard said that Bree was staring at him. He said that the winner had a runaway win with 55 percent of the votes. The last place had 17 percent. Howard said they had to get this over with. Howard said that one of the girls is going to win $5,000 from EstablishedMen.com and they will be able to go out and brag that they're the world's biggest whore. Howard kept them in suspense for a few minutes just talking about how they can go out and brag. Howard said coming in third place was Sabrina. She said she was kind of sad about that. Howard said the only people happy are her parents right now. Sabrina said she was still somehow sad about that.
Howard said it came down to Ava and Bree. He said that the girl who is the biggest whore is... he kept the girls in suspense for a few more minutes. Howard said he's like the Ryan Seacrest of whores. Howard told Robin that they had Ava and Bree and only one of them could be the biggest whore. Howard said that everyone knew who the biggest whore was. He said the winner had 55 percent of the votes. He said the answer is... Bree Olson. Howard said that she's the biggest whore. Howard said he was sorry that Ava didn't win.
Howard said Bree just won $5,000. She said she's going to donate $3,000 of that money to her local ASPCA. Howard said that Noel Biederman (Creator of AshleyMadison.com) was there with the check. Noel said they have this new web site EstablishedMen.com and it's a shortcut to finding women. He said that if you're into women and don't want to spend money on video games and things like that then this is the site for you. Howard said he didn't understand but he told Ava to give him a hand job. Howard thanked Noel for coming in and sponsoring the contest.
Howard gave the girls some more plugs for their web sites and gave Ava a prize for second place. He gave her $711 from 7-Eleven. He gave something to Sabrina too. He gave her $500 from Steven Singer Jewelers. She thanked him for that.
Howard congratulated all of the girls and said that he finds them all to be whores. He said he meant that as a compliment. Howard gave them some more plugs so here are their sites: AvaDevine.com, DeepSabrina.com and BreeOlson.com.
Howard asked Robin if she wanted to be a big whore. Robin said she doesn't. She said that nothing they said was interesting or attractive to her. Howard said he'd love to get in a triple Sybian ride but he wasn't sure if they'd all fit on it. The girls were up for giving it a try. Howard said today is Ronnie's birthday so that's why he was doing that. He said it was his birthday gift. He said he wasn't going to say how old Ronnie is though.
The girls all got on the Sybian and Howard said that they've never had 3 girls ride it. Howard asked the girls to tell him if they were feeling anything once they got it going. Only two of the girls fit on it though. Gary stated it up and the girls said they were getting wet. The three of them were moaning and claiming that they were getting off on it. Not all three were feeling it though because there wasn't enough room. The girls were very chatty during the ride. They were talking, moaning and vibrating. Gary had to shut it down after one of the girls finished. Howard said it worked. He said they really are big whores. He went to break after that.
Howard came back and said he likes those guys in Foo Fighters. He sat back and listened to their cover of the song for a few seconds. Howard asked if this is the one they did at the White House. Fred said this one may not have been from that.
Howard said Obama was on The Daily Show. He said that he thinks it's kind of cool he goes on shows like that. He has no problem with that and it's kind of fun. He said it's almost charming and uplifting. Robin said that Jon Stewart is aging and it's odd to see him now. Howard said Jon doesn't want to dye his hair and he might be one of those guys that likes to look older because he's short. He said he might look more mature that way. Howard said Jon is a really good dude. He said he was always up for anything on the show. Robin said he was part of that Gay Dance Party show they did. Howard said he's not sure what they pay him over there at Comedy Central but he hopes it's good.
Howard took a call from a guy who said it was a great show today. He said he'll follow them wherever they go. He asked why they don't let the staff fuck these girls who say they will do them. Howard said he don't want them fucking in the studio. He said he's not sure that he'd want to set up High Pitch Eric on a date either. He said he's not a pornographer either. He does have girls that get naked on his show but that's really not what they're all about. Howard said they have had Tabitha Stevens fuck some of their listeners. Howard said they don't do it there at the studios though.
The caller asked why they blur women's boobs on his web site. Howard said he gets shit about everything he does so he figures he has to do that so people can't complain. He said they give an update and pictures of what's going on in their world. He doesn't want to get into the naked girl thing though. Howard said he just didn't want to get started with that stuff. Howard said he's not against nudity or anything. Howard said being outrageous on the radio is one thing but doing it on the internet just drives people crazy. Howard said he's broken all the rules on the radio but the internet is a different story.
Another caller said that he was very optimistic about him staying on radio. Howard said he's still hopeful that he'll stay there but he's going to have to see what happens. They only have about 25 shows left there. The caller said he would like to see Howard's web site on his phone but they need a mobile app. Howard said he has thought about it. That's all he said.
The caller told Howard about a towel that's made just for drying off your genitals. He said that it's called the True Clean Towel. Howard said it sounds like it wouldn't be awkward to have in his bathroom for other people to see at all. Howard said he just uses the brown streak on his towel as the marker for where he's dried off his ass.
Howard said he felt that Robin was turned on by the girls today. Robin said that the floor in her studio was vibrating. Gary said his balls were vibrating on the tickle chair as he sat on it. He said it sort of felt good. Howard said Benjy was quite taken with Bree Olson. Benjy said she's gotten beautiful. He said she lost weight and she's looking like a woman now instead of a girl. He said that he's all for the natural tits too. Howard said he's all for tits natural or fake. Howard said Bree told him that she'd let him do anything in the world to her. He's not sure what that means.
JD said that he tried asking her out once but she has so much love for Howard she won't date anyone on the staff. The guys talked about some of the other stuff Bree was talking about and how she was kind of against the Charlie Sheen thing but then she caved in and said she probably would fuck him.
Howard said that Beth does it all with the cats. He said he doesn't have time to do that stuff. He said he's very busy. Howard said he's busy watching Gary promote his book. Howard said he's going crazy with the cats and dogs.
Howard said the dog is at the North Shore Animal League and he'd like someone to go out and adopt her. He said the dog is a larger dog and not that small. Howard asked someone to please adopt the dog. He said they have to be a good owner though. Howard said anyone but Granny Anni can adopt the dog.
Howard said he saw Richie Wilson's girl, and host of The Bonus Show, Rachel Fine, out in the hall. He said that he saw Richie out there saying that he wasn't with her and Rachel stated welling up with tears. Howard said he thinks Richie is nuts. He said he thinks that they're broken up.
Rachel came in so Howard asked what's going on with them. She said that it's been a roller coaster since they were in there last. Richie came in too. Howard said that they found their last conversation kind of therapeutic. He spoke to them out in the hall the last time they were there together. Howard said that he feels bad for Richie because when she starts fucking other guys then it's going to hurt.
Richie said that things have changed. He said he started doing therapy. He said he's always down on himself and he's learning how to like himself more. He said he knows Rachel likes him but it's hard to let someone love you if you don't love yourself. He said they're getting a lot better now. He said he's attracted to her more than ever.
Rachel said she wants to make sure the changes stick. She said that they had just broken up last time and they got back together. Then a couple of weeks later they were talking and Richie was still on the fence about the whole thing. She said that he was all about the relationship in the studio but then weeks later he was questioning it again.
Howard asked Richie why he's so afraid to get close. Richie said he's changed since then. Rachel said that they went out to brunch one day. Richie said he would like to tell that story. Riche said they were getting ready to go out and she used his computer and found a note he got from another girl about a date he was going to be on. He was writing that to the other girl and Rachel said it killed her to read that. She said she was sitting there reading it and crying. Richie was telling her it wasn't what she thought and denied it.
Howard told Richie he has to set her free. Richie said that's not going to happen. He said it's never going to work. Richie said it's working fine right now.
Richie said he hit rock bottom after that. Rachel said that Howard had done that therapy session in the hall and she thought about Richie and he came over and helped her out for four days when she was going through this rough time. She said that she really missed him and realized how much she did when he was there. Howard said he must have a big cock. Rachel said she has no problem with all of that stuff.
Rachel said that Richie is a great guy but she can't let this rug be pulled out from under her. She said she has to be able to date other guys. She said she's dating Richie too though. Richie said they're both dating and dating each other. Rachel said she hasn't slept with anyone else. Howard said Rachel is going to meet another guy and it's going to fuck Richie's head up. Riche said that as long as she's happy he'll be fine.
Howard told Rachel to date Benjy and that would really fuck Richie up. Rachel said she hasn't met anyone she wants to date yet. Howard said Ronnie must want to go out with her. Ronnie said that Rachel isn't going to date anyone. He said she's full of shit. His voice was shot but he had no idea why.
Ralph called in and asked Rachel why she's putting up with all of this. He said she must have a bad self image. He said she might need to be in therapy. Rachel said she hasn't been through this kind of thing before. She said hat she is embarrassed to be in this situation. She said that Richie is the best boyfriend that she's ever had.
Howard said Rachel sings like an angel. He said that she has some artsy photos of herself on there. Ralph said that hot chicks are always damaged. She said Richie has a huge heart and she'd like to see him change. Howard asked what that means. Rachel said that he's communicating more and he's telling her his feelings. Richie has started crying and almost did that the day he was talking to Howard. Howard said that's why he left that day. Richie said he's an emotional wreck. Howard said he could tell.
Howard asked Ronnie what he was doing to lose his voice. Ronnie said he didn't do anything. He said he's not going to celebrate his birthday or anything either. He said he's not having any parties. Howard said you get to a certain age and you give up celebrating. Ronnie told Rachel to just date if she's going to date. Howard said she must be able to find someone that she'd date. Rachel said she's very busy and hasn't found anyone. She won't date anyone from where she works.
Howard asked what the complication is there. Richie said that Rachel will let him know when she's ready to be exclusive. Rachel said that she's not right now. She said that he does everything that he can when they start dating again but then it wears off. She said that he's been fantastic the past month and she'd like to see that continue. She said that she's giving him another chance but if he fucks it up again she's out for life.
Howard asked Richie why he set up the date with the other girl. Richie said he has major trust issues. He said he's gotten fucked over really bad before and he thought that he was going to get burned by Rachel so he did this preemptive strike. Rachel said she didn't do anything to make him think she was going down that road. Richie said she didn't answer a question about going to a bar and he thought she was going to go down that road that he didn't want to go down.
Howard told Richie he has to let go of this notion that the woman is going to be there for him all the time. She's going to want a life of her own. Richie asked when he learned that with Beth. Howard said he learned it in therapy and with Beth. He said he can't have her there all the time and you have to accept it.
Rachel said she has never cheated on anyone in her life either. Richie said that she was evading the bar question that night and that's why he didn't trust her. Howard said she probably knew that he couldn't handle it. Rachel said she could have just told him she was doing home. Richie said this is why he's in therapy. Rachel said she's seen the difference too.
Howard told Richie he has to grow up. Rachel is right about that. She said she hopes that it sticks. Howard said it will be a constant struggle no matter what. He said that the jealousy will still be there. Richie said that it's totally worth it though. Howard said that he and Ronnie have talked about Rachel. He said that they do a lot of talking and she's a real woman with real breasts. Howard said he knows that Ronnie is really attracted to her. She said he was very good during the rough times. He was texting her and asking how she was doing through the whole thing. Ronnie said that he'd never hurt Richie though. Howard said he would if he died or something.
Howard took a call from the grim reaper who said he wanted to say happy birthday to Ronnie. He said he'd be seeing him tomorrow. He said he got him a gift of an oak box. Ronnie thanked Richard for that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Rachel to accept Richie's limitations. Howard said she does but she can't be trying to prove she's not cheating all the time. The caller said that they can fuck anyone they want to but they can't necessarily come back. Howard said he thinks they know that. Howard said she can fuck any guy she wants. Ronnie added ''or a girl.'' He said she's a lot of fun at Rick's Cabaret. Ronnie said that Richie used to get jealous of her going there. Howard said that he has to go to therapy. He has to get over that stuff.
Richie said that they had a girl the other night that was up for a threesome. He said she wasn't that hot. Rachel said she wouldn't have said no to that. Howard said this sounds really good to him. Rachel told Richie that she really has seen a lot of changes and she really wants to see it stick. Howard said guys have problems communicating.
Howard wrapped up with everyone and said that Ronnie sounds creepier than ever. Ronnie said he wanted to give a shout out to his man Charlie Sheen. He said that chick she was with was smoking hot. He said he's all for that and his TV show.
Richie thanked Keith Fenimore for getting Rachel the gig there. Howard said he sounds like he's giving an award show speech. He told him to get out of there.
Steve said that someone walked into a library and offered to donate his copy of Gary's book to them saying he had no use for it. They have some other mentions of Gary's book in the news today too.
Steve said they have more about Scott the Engineer's bowling. He said that he's showing a lot of passion for his tournament. They may issue him a warning for his cursing though. Howard said it's kind of weird that he's cursing so much. JD said he was watching some of that coverage and he's the only one who voices an opinion.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon ran down his list of subjects for today's show. That led to them talking about the whore contest and how bad Sal was at the dirty talk thing. Howard said he went too far with the degrading thing. Gary said that Sal was going too far and he didn't listen to Howard when he told him to stop. Gary said it wasn't funny. Sal said he thought it was funny. Gary said he was on Howard's side in that. Sal said no one cares whose side he's on.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he wants to adopt the dog he was talking about. He had a couple of guys like that. Everyone was from another state though. One guy was in Maine. One guy was in Ohio. Howard told Gary to take that guy's name and see if they can work something out. Howard asked Jon Hein if he wanted the dog. Jon said he was good. He already has a dog. Howard told Gary to give that guy's number to Beth.
Jon got back to his show preview and mentioned Howard trying to make a match for Robin. Howard spent a minute talking about that and he's going to try to make it happen for Robin and this guy. Howard said he won't tell Robin who it is. Howard said he thinks the guy is handsome but he doesn't know what Robin will think. He said she could be insulted by the whole thing if she's not attracted to him. Howard said the guy is totally ripped now. He said he was overweight but he's been working out. Howard said he seems like a good dude too. He said he's super talented and Robin said she knows exactly who it is. Howard said she has no idea. Robin said she does.
Howard said he and this guy run together and he seems like a good guy. Howard said she may know who he is when she sees him but she doesn't know him really.
Robin read a story about a guy who tried to kidnap a kid as the nanny was walking him down the street. It was all caught on tape. They haven't arrested the guy yet though. They had to go to break after that.
After the break, around 10:05am, we heard a Yucko the Clown Halloween clip where he went out trick or treating. Fred also played David Bowie's ''Lets Dance'' as they were coming back.
Howard came back and had Robin get back to her news. Robin read about the latest Zagats survey and how the biggest complaint is noise from people being on the phone and texting people while you're eating. Howard said Beth does that to him sometimes. He said sometimes it bothers him but other times it doesn't because they get to yenta it up together. Howard said he talks badly about everyone. Howard said that he and Robin do that all the time. Robin claims she doesn't do that in her regular life.
Robin read about the first game of the World Series. She had some details about how that went. Robin had some audio clips of some players talking about the game and the series.
Robin read some news about Charlie Sheen and how a lot of people are tiring of these things. She said that a poll from some web site said that he should be fired from his show after the latest incident. Robin said that Charlie Sheen is saying that this has all been overblown. Howard said he should just calm down for a night when he's across the hall from his kids.
Robin read about Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel's relationship possibly being on the rocks. Robin said she may have cheated on her with Olivia Munn. Howard asked if she's hot. Robin said she's not sure.
Howard mentioned that Mariah Carey has finally admitted that she's pregnant. Howard said some people are really taken with themselves. Howard said she won't reveal how far along she is or anything. He wondered what the secret is. Howard had some audio of her talking to Billy Bush on The Today Show. Howard wondered how soon the kid is going to get into the recording studio to come out and beat Willow Smith's song. Howard said he was reading that Nick Cannon, Mariah's husband, had said that he's white trash. He said he guesses that he could be right about that. Howard said he's not sure why he had to make it racial though. He said that he could have just called him trash. Benjy had the quote from Nick Cannon and he said that Howard is ugly too. Nick wondered why he had a beef with him. Howard said he has no beef with him. He said the guy has it made. He's married to a wealthy woman and he has a career going. Howard told him to be more original and come up with something better than that. Howard had some audio of Mariah and Nick talking about their baby and the big secret they were trying to keep.
Robin read some news about President Obama appearing on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. She had some audio clips from that appearance.
Robin read about a guy who was charged with trying to plot some bombings on a railway. Robin said the guy was arrested and his neighbors thought he was a nice guy and they never suspected he'd be up to this kind of thing. Robin had some audio of some people talking about that.
Robin read a story about 3 hunters who got lost in Colorado for a few days. They were finally found and rescued. Robin had some audio of a cop talking about how it was best that they stayed in the area they got stuck in. Howard said he wouldn't know what to do if he got lost. Robin said she got lost once but her horse, Blaze, stopped listening to her commands and just brought them back.
Robin had some Miley Cyrus news. Howard said he finally found the video he wanted to see but he didn't see the part where she was lap dancing some dude. Howard said maybe they cut it out of the version he saw. Robin also read about the break up of Billy Ray Cyrus and his wife Tish.
Robin read some news about Andrew Cuomo and Carl Paladino. She had some audio of them that she played too.
Robin read that Randy Quaid is in the news again. He's posted a bond and he is supposed to be in court to get refugee status up in Canada because they think there's a hit squad out to get them. Howard said he'd like to know what went down there.
Robin said that Cablevision and FOX are still fighting it out. Robin said that FOX has rejected an offer for a one year deal from them.
Robin read about some of the special sales that are going on this season for the holidays. She said that the sales are going to be starting early this year.
Robin read about the new Saw 3D movie that's coming out. Howard said he doesn't like 3D. He said that he liked Avatar in 3D but that's about it. Robin said she saw Paranormal 3D and liked that. Robin had some audio of someone talking about the Saw series.
Robin had some audio of Zach Galifianakis talking about his new movie. Howard said he doesn't know about that guy but he likes that he got Mel Gibson kicked off of The Hangover 2.
Robin read about a new movie called Megamind that's coming out soon. It stars Will Ferrell and Brad Pitt as voices in the animated movie. Robin had some audio of Will talking about that project.
Robin read about a guy in Harlem who was choking his dog on a leash in an elevator. Robin said they finally arrested the guy after seeing the video of the guy slamming the dog around the elevator on a leash. They wrapped up and ended the show a short time later, right around 10:40am.
Jason said that his cat doesn't sleep on his face either. He said the cat sleeps above his head behind his pillow. He said one time the cat did run across his face and scratched it. Jason said he likes that the cat sleeps on the pillow and purrs. He said it's the sweetest thing ever. Sal said that they have a dog a cat and a hippo in the bed. Jason said his wife is very lucky that way.
Gary said he gets that. He said he likes having the dog sleeping in the bed. It's nice to have that warm pet there. He said that it can get kind of weird though.
Jason said he likes it when his cat walks on his chest and looks into his eyes. Jon asked if Sal's wife would let that happen. Sal said his wife would never let that happen. He said he has a Cockapoo and it's only allowed to sleep on his chair. Sal said he wants to put the dog on the bed but his wife would kick him out of the house. Gary told him to just pick it up and it'll be the best thing that could happen to him.
Jon asked JD if he has Richard Christy kind of knowledge about the porn chicks. JD said he didn't think so but Will said that Richard has fallen off lately so JD knows.
The guys talked about how Ava Devine has this reputation to do anything, anywhere, anytime. Will said that if you ask any producer who the biggest whore is, her name comes up first.
The guys talked about how Bree seemed to be sincere with the stuff she was talking about. Benjy said he felt that she was more compelled to fuck than Ava. Sal said that Ava is the kind of person who will fuck a donkey just for the show. He said that she's more into the shock value in his opinion.
Benjy said that Bree looks so regular that she could have a normal job. He said that the other girls don't look like that. Will said he thinks Bree won because she seemed so honest.
Gary asked Benjy if he has ever hooked up with a porn star. Benjy said he hasn't had one like Bree. He said that she likes to post on her Twitter about how she wants to get laid and he thinks that it's real. Sal said he'd like to investigate that and see if it's real. Sal said that he doesn't believe it. He said he thinks that she just does it for promotion.
Jon asked Sal about going in to talk dirty to the girls. He said that he spit on an asshole and had Richard as a retard and then he wasn't able to talk to the third one. Sal said the first girl said she would fuck a retard so he had Richard come in was the retard. Gary said he thinks that he's making this up as he goes along. JD said he was there and saw them coming up with the whole thing. JD said he suggested to Sal that he do something retarded and not bring in Richard. Richard volunteered to play his retarded son or something.
Benjy said he could see Howard getting very angry over that. He said he didn't want it to be funny at that moment. Gary said that Sal should have run it by him first. Benjy said that it was funny that Richard stayed in character the whole time. Gary said it was funny visually but it didn't work over the radio.
Gary said when Howard told Sal to stop with the humiliating he doesn't get why he didn't stop. Gary said he kept doing what Howard asked him not to do. Sal said he didn't hear that. He said he heard Howard ask him why he was so angry and degrading. Sal said that you cant degrade a woman who wants to get fucked by her father. He said he was just trying to raise the bar.
Sal said he was trying to get the second girl to step it up by spitting on her. He said that he got angry with her so that's why he did what he did. JD said Sal doesn't like the words cock and pussy so that's why he was using the weird terms he was using with her. Sal said he had to use baloney sandwich and stuff like that. He said he was using that because he was playing the Daddy role there.
Jon asked Sal about the voice Bree put on. Sal said that voice was creepy as fuck. Benjy said it sounded too fake. He said the role playing thing can work but it didn't work with that voice. Sal said that it reminded him of his 6 year old when he loses his (Nintendo) DS.
Benjy said he thinks Sal could have done it more subtly. Sal said he could do it. Sal and Benjy started talking dirty to each other but Gary told them to stop. He was serious about that too.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that Sal has serious problems and needs help. Gary said they all recognize that. The caller said they have to get him some kind of therapy. He said that he was referring to the girl's pussy as ''snapper'' and that's just not right. Gary said that's an old word. Jon said that Sal has gone to therapy before. Gary said that Jackie used to refer to his penis as a ''pud'' and that's an old term too. Sal said his father used to use that word too.
Jon took another call from a guy who said Bree shouldn't have won because she wouldn't do anything. He said she got kicked off of Bubba's show for not jerking a guy off in Bubba's green room. Gary said they mistreated her and that's why she walked off of that show. The caller said they were trying to play a trick on a guy and she freaked out about it because she didn't want to do that. Benjy said that's what he likes about her. He said maybe she wasn't feeling horny at that moment. The caller said that Ava should have won because she was willing to do anything.
The guys spent a couple of minutes talking about some of the stuff Bree was saying and how they were turned off by it. Sal said he thought she wasn't kidding when she said he wanted to have long walks on the beach with Howard. Gary said he felt that was a joke.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Sal why everything for him is about degrading women. Sal said that's what the women wanted. He said that he was just doing what the girls were doing. Gary asked if all dirty talk is degrading. Sal said there are ways to do it that aren't degrading but it wouldn't have worked today. He said they had a girl who blew the cab driver on the way in so he was reacting to them the way they wanted.
Sal said all women like to be told they have tight pussies. He said they'll love you forever if you tell them that. The guys were all laughing at Sal's insane comments. Sal said he heard that on the road from a woman who told him that women like that. Sal said that it made perfect sense to him when she told him that was one of the problems he has with his wife. Sal said he never did try that at home. He said his wife would be repulsed if he said it to her. He said she popped out 3 kids so she'd know that he was full of it. He said that doesn't mean that she's not tight. He said he didn't mean it like that. Sal said her vagina is fine. Gary asked if it's just ''fine.'' Sal said it's fine. Sal said that he thinks it's a compliment to a woman. He said that every woman wants a tight pussy. He said it's like telling her that she's not a whore.
Gary said that Sal is lucky that he married. He said if he was on the open market he'd be worried about that. The guys were wondering what woman it was that told him that the tight pussy thing was good. The guys wanted to guess but Gary said that's not a good idea. He was pretty sure he had an idea who it was.
Jon took another call and the guy said that Bree shouldn't have won. He said that Sabrina should have won. He also said that he saw that Jason wasn't taking full body shots again. He said Howard told him to take full body shots and he's still not doing it.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked Sal if his wife would get mad at what he did by spitting on that chick. Sal said that he pulled away from that chick and didn't make any skin to skin contact. He said he doesn't think she'll be that upset. He didn't think she'd be upset about what he said about her pussy being tight either.
Another caller said that she will confirm what Sal said about the tight pussy thing. She said that she never thought that day would come. She said it's the right thing to say in the right context. Gary said he's not sure every woman would enjoy that comment. Gary asked the caller if she has a husband. She said she's been with her partner for 5 years and she's 26. She said that she likes hearing that from her man. She knows other people who feel the same way.
Jason came back and said that he gets what Sal is saying. He can't just come out after 20 years and say that his wife's pussy is tight.
Jon asked if the caller thinks that Sal's wife will be upset. She said that it sounds like his wife would be upset about a lot of stuff. Sal said his wife would think it was odd if he said it. He's fine with that and he just won't bring it up.
Jon asked Jason about the pictures on the web site. Jason said that he was doing 8,000 things and he just put a picture up. He said he will have plenty of naked girls up on the site later today.
Another caller said that the girl who should have won is the girl who said she fucks retards. That was Ava Devine. Will said that she does it for money most of the time. The caller said that's what a whore does. He said they sell themselves. Gary said a real whore doesn't do it for money all the time. Benjy said they were all whores but Bree turned him on the most. That's why he judged the way he did.
Jon played a clip of Howard announcing the winner of the game. After that clip Will asked JD if he would have sex with any of those girls. JD said he really likes Bree and he would do Ava too. Sal said he would do all 3 if he saw some test results.
Will asked if anyone would just go right to a hotel room and do the girls without tests. The guys didn't sound so sure about that. Benjy said he would do it with a rubber.
Another caller said that they've all seen Sal's penis and no woman is going to believe he's going to say they have a tight pussy. He said he can relate to that though because he's small.
Jon asked what was going on during the 3 way Sybian ride. Gary said Ava couldn't even get on. He said that no one was getting the brunt of it. Then he moved the girls around and got them in the right place. He said that Bree got off pretty quickly once she was in the right location. Jon said they were enjoying it but it did seem a little tight on there. Will said he thinks that Bree really had an orgasm. Sal said it looked like it got hit with a water balloon too. He said it was pretty juicy. They had to go to break after that.
Jon asked JD if he's got a lack of professionalism. JD said that he's all over the place slamming stuff down and congratulating himself. Benjy said it sounds pretty entertaining to him. He said he's not putting it on. JD said that Scott hit the monitor at one point when he missed. Jon said he's just passionate about the whole thing. Gary said there's always a guy who gets in trouble for breaking stuff or throwing stuff. Jon said he's been that guy who has the temper. Will said he has too.
JD said that Scott is very inconsistent. He said he will get a strike and then not be able to hit 3 pins. Will said that the people who are really hating this are the Howard TV crew who are down there filming this. He said he got a text from them yesterday about how boring it was.
Gary said they should have Howard promote Scott's bowling but keep putting it off over and over to freak him out. The guys talked about the bets they have on Scott and how they'll have to work that all out when Scott gets back.
Gary said he knew he had made a mistake when the article about David Arquette had come out. He said that was from the same interview. He knew he'd be in trouble with this new article. Gary said that he spoke to the reporter and he knew that they were going to write about other stuff instead of his book. He said there was nothing he could do about it though. He just waited for it to come out with his fingers crossed.
Jon said Howard was really pissed too. He said he didn't want it brought up off the air. Gary said that he knows that Howard is going to give him a hard time no matter what he does. He said it's all going to be blamed on the book promotion even if it doesn't have anything to do with it.
Scott DePace came in so he and Gary got into their daily argument about Scott's lack of respect for Gary. Gary said he shouldn't be commenting on something he doesn't know about. Scott said this whole thing had nothing to do with Gary. He said that it's his opinion and Gary doesn't know what that is.
Benjy said he has some jealousy toward Gary. He's willing to admit it. Sal asked Scott if he thinks that Artie is anymore of an author than Gary is. Scott said he read Artie's book so he can say that he does think that he is. He said he hasn't read Gary's book yet.
Gary said no one ever mentioned the word ''proud'' so he's not sure why Scott keeps bringing that up. Gary said that they asked him if he was happy for him. He said that it turned into being proud.
Jon said that he and Scott spoke about this off the air and Scot said that writing a book isn't that big of an accomplishment. Jon said that he and Scott disagree on that. Jon thinks it is a big deal to do something like that.
Gary asked Scott if he thinks it's an accomplishment. Scott said of course it is. He said he thinks that writing the book is about the same as what he did with his Video Caddy and the web site for the Video Caddy.
Jon asked Scott if he was proud of his two books. Scott said he never read the but he will say that he is proud that he wrote two books that weren't autobiographical over Gary's one autobiographical book.
Jon took a couple of calls and one guy said that Scott doesn't have to kiss Gary's ass and he's not sure why he's going on and on about this. He said it's unbelievable that he has to kiss anyone's ass there. Gary said no one asked him to kiss anyone's ass there. He said it had nothing to do with that. Gary asked if Scott sounds like he has hostility for him. The caller said he does a little bit but just tell him to go fuck himself if that's the way he feels.
Scott said he did lie about why he didn't want to go to Gary's party. He said he didn't want to go into the city again and deal with Gary's family being there. He said this is how this whole thing started. Scott said he's going to let them put words in his mouth so he can just be let off the hook and get out of there.
Another caller said he thinks Gary is being a big pussy about the whole thing. He said that it's all about Gary falling asleep in his office and Gary is taking it all out on Scott. He said he was just deflecting off of that whole thing. Gary said he wasn't deflecting. He was angry and Scott that day and it hasn't gone away to this day. It comes up almost every day.
Ralph called in and said that they have hostility toward each other so of course Scott isn't going to be happy for Gary. He said that not that many people get to write a book about their lives and comparing it to the Video Caddy isn't fair. He said that they can't expect him to be happy for a guy he doesn't like. Ralph said he wasn't happy for Jon when he sold his web site. Jon said that it bothered him when he was telling him what to do with his money.
Gary asked what the ''5'' thing is that Scott mentioned. He said there are 4 or 5 people in there who will be treated differently when they come out with stuff. Scott said there is an obvious disparity in the way they treat things in there when one of the 5 main people in the studio comes out with something. Jon said that it seems like Scott has to mention his Video Caddy and he's looking for that same praise he's complaining about. Scott said he's not looking for the praise, he's just using it as an example. He said that it was like they were looking for his opinion on Gary's book and he told them how he felt. He doesn't want the book to fail or anything. Scott said he wishes that all of this would just go away. He said he's tired of all of this.
Ralph said that he's on the Video Caddy web site and it's nothing to brag about. Scott said it's better than Ralph's shitty web site. They had to end the show a short time later.
Today's Best of the Week was over around 11:10am.