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Howard started off the show talking about how a lot of people think that Barack Obabma is a Muslim. Robin wondered if people think he's really going to get into office and take over the country like the Taliban. Howard went into his Ted Kennedy impression and talked about him doing just that. Robin said that Barack's pastor has said some stuff about him that's kind of odd. Howard continued to do the Kennedy impression on his megaphone for a couple of minutes.
Robin gave Howard some material to use in his goofing. She threw out a couple of facts for him to use in that bit. Howard threw some stuff out there that wasn't true while he was doing the Kennedy impression. Robin asked if he knows what the Taliban did to Afghanistan did when they took over. ''Ted'' said he didn't so Robin told him about some of the stuff they did like knocking down and destroying every major statue and monument over there because they have to honor no one but God.
Artie threw in some of his own Ted Kennedy impression into the discussion. Howard kept up with his impression and had a conversation with Robin about Barack. He said he thought he'd just weigh in and god knows he weighs a ton. He said that when Barack becomes President, he will put a turban on Lincoln's head.
Howard, finally out of his impression, said that Barack hasn't grabbed this election nomination yet even though a lot of people think he has.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he saw a really hot black chick back stage at a show on Saturday night and it turned out to be Robin. Howard asked her how much weight she's actually lost. She said that it's 55 pounds. She said that's like losing a kid. She said that she's still working on losing more and she's going for that Skeletal, anorexic look. Howard told her to slim down like Jillian Grace. Robin said that's what she's going for. Howard said he wants to see her Bangladesh skinny.
The caller said that he was at a concert that Joe Perry was doing with his son. Robin said she knows the guy who put the show together and that's why she was there. She said that his son Adrian sings and it was a great show with Joe playing with them.
The caller said that he was blown away when he saw Robin there at the show. He said that he's been a huge fan of the show for years and it made his night.
Howard said that he was invited up to Joe Perry's house up in Vermont but he couldn't get himself up there. He said that he's not sure he wants to go all the way up there to go over to his house. He said that he loves Vermont but he's not sure if he can get himself up there.
The guys talked about Aerosmith and their song writing for a minute. That led to Howard reading a story about Van Halen cancelling the rest of their tour. Artie said that's a shame because everyone that he knows that saw the show loved it. Robin said she saw them perform back in November and they were great. Artie said that really sucks. He never got to see them.
Howard read the article about the cancellation and how they're just saying that it was postponed at first. Eddie may have turned up to some shows drunk and that might be one of the reasons for the cancellation. Howard said he feels bad for David Lee Roth because he needs that money. He said that he heard that Dave really does need it even though he got 8 million from K-Rock when they canceled his show.
Artie said he heard that Eddie took his son out on the road because he wasn't drinking but apparently that didn't last. Howard asked if that kid goes to school. Robin said he apparently doesn't and he can hang out with his dad.
Robin said that this company apparently launches out of Kazakhstan. Howard said that if this merger doesn't go through, they should attach some guns to it and shoot down the competition. Robin talked about how much crap gets shot up into space and how they actually did have to shoot one down recently so it wouldn't come crashing down on us.
Artie said that the satellites are very expensive and that they're each like $200 million. Howard said that you make that back up eventually. Artie asked when that happens, when you sign Oprah to a deal?
Howard wrapped up the Fred segment because he wasn't sure he wanted to hear anymore about that. Howard took another call from a guy who wondered why Fred raises his hand when he wants to talk on the show. Howard said that's because he thinks he's in class. Fred said that he tries to get in instead of just talking over everyone. Howard said he appreciates that because it can get kind of noisy in there.
Howard played another Hate Man call where he went off on Robin and how she's dating Jim Florentine. He went on to brag about the size of his own knob that Robin could be sucking on instead of Jim's. He said that Robin is his monkey bastard and she'll always be his. He wished her a Happy Valentine's day during that rant too.
Howard said he had one more from the guy where he has an idea for a TV show. In that call Hate Man says that she needs to call up some of the black bitches from her past and maybe get about 12 of them to come over to her house and he'll show up and dance with them. He was throwing out the N-word and other racial slurs during the call.
Artie said that maybe Hate Man is trying to do a Lenny Bruce thing and use that N-word so much that it doesn't come across as being so harsh anymore. Howard played a song from 2 Live Crew about being ''face down, ass up, that's the way we like to fuck'' and said that was Hate Man's favorite song. He also played a prank call the guys made using some Hate Man audio clips. they called a phone sex line and had him yelling at the woman on the phone. She went right along with him and had no problem with him yelling out the N-word.
Artie said that's one of his favorite calls those guys made. Howard said that was one of Richard and Sal's great calls. He said that he heard that Richard has been going into a funk lately since he said something about one of his song parodies that didn't go over very well. He said that he just stopped one of his song parodies in the middle of it and said it wasn't that great and now Richard is all upset about it.
Gary said that Richard gets really upset when Howard doesn't play his stuff right away. HE's afraid that he's not liking his stuff. He said that when Howard didn't play one of his songs last week, he came into his office and said that he had to talk with him.
Richard came in and said that he's thinking that Howard thinks that they're kind of insane and he won't play their stuff because they're too aggressive with the songs they write about Robin. Howard said that he likes a lot of their stuff and once in a while they have a clunker. He told Richard not to worry so much about it.
Howard wondered why he wants to talk to Gary about that stuff because that's not going to change his mind about their songs. Richard said that he and Sal just need to talk to people sometimes so they can get over that stuff. Howard told him just not to worry so much.
Artie told Richard that he's gotten into those funks himself and he knows what they're going through. Richard said he gets really bummed out when Howard doesn't play their stuff because he thinks that they're not doing their job.
Howard played the song parody that Richard got upset about last week. He had cut it off early, about 20 seconds in even though it was 3 minutes long. Howard said that the song just goes on and on too long. Richard said it's got a great ending. Howard said that he should get to it faster then.
Howard let the song play through and it was getting some laughs but Howard said it just goes on and on and on. Fred said that he typically loves Richard's songs and this wasn't one of his favorites. Fred said that there was another song that Richard did that he thinks that Howard may have cut off and told him to take off the board. Gary said that to Howard it's a frivolous thing but it can send Richard into a funk for a week.
Howard told Richard to just keep doing what he's doing because they're hitting about 70 percent. He said that's fine. He said that he heard he got upset when he kicked him out when he was talking about jerking off last week. Richard said that he did get bummed about that because he thought that he might be getting too gross for him.
Howard said that he had a new call from Sal and Richard where they call a woman as Elvis. He was going to play it but he wanted something fixed in it so he stopped it about 2 seconds in. He said that they did a call where they used some Jeff the Drunk audio clips and called someone using that. They had Jeff yelling out ''Jim!'' over and over again and called some guy by the name of Jim. Howard said it was kind of funny but it didn't really go anywhere. He played the call that was only 20 seconds long and said it was fine but he's not sure how many times he's supposed to play it.
Richard said that he and Sal just want him to know that they're working hard back there. Howard said he knows that but right now Dan the Song Parody Man is the one on a roll. They talked about how Mike Morse is also doing some great songs. Those two don't even bother them with an office there, they send in their work.
Howard said that he had another bit to play but he decided against it. Artie asked Richard why they get so bummed out if he doesn't play their bits. Howard played the song parody again and cut it off after a few seconds and said that's where it should have ended.
There was a call that Richard and Sal made using clips of Big Foot calling himself. Robin said she didn't like that one so Howard said he wasn't going to play that one. He said that he really likes it but Robin said that it just didn't hit her right. He tried to convince her that it was great but it just wasn't working for her. Howard played that call and laughed at it while it was playing. Robin wasn't laughing.
Howard read the article where they basically just rehash what he said on the show about John last week. Howard said that the article was actually kind of funny after reading it. He said that it probably didn't even need a publicist to bring it up tot Page Six because it was so funny.
Howard said that the lead singer of the Dave Clark 5 died of pneumonia. He said that they looked just like the Beatles when they came out. The guys spent a few minutes talking about that and some other bands from back then. Howard said that he always thought that Dave Clark was the singer but it was actually this guy Mike Smith. He had some kind of accident where he injured his spinal cord when he fell off a fence so he was paralyzed for the past few years. Howard said that he would never do anything like climbing a fence.
Howard said that he got some e-mail about Gennifer Flowers' appearance last week. He read through some of that and people were wondering why he'd have her on the show. He said that if he was a Hillary Clinton backer he wouldn't have had her on. Howard said that he's not going to keep her off the show just because of that.
Howard brought up this Randi Wright chick that was on the show last week. There were some people who wrote in about her being a dog and how she really wasn't as hot as Howard and Artie were saying. Howard and Artie said that she was very good looking.
Howard said that one guy said that her tits looked like birthday balloons a month after the party. Howard said that might be the greatest line ever. He got a laugh out of it. He talked about some of the other feedback he got about her and said that he thought she was hot. Fred said that her tits were great but her eye make up was kind of fucked up. Artie said that she was hot. He said that her tits were beautiful.
Howard wondered if the Howard TV guys had that episode with her on it yet. Gary told him a short time later that the show was up. Howard seemed confused by the statement that Gary made so he goofed on him about that. He said that they might need an intercom in the Howard TV booth back there. Gary said that if he wants that to happen he can make it happen by tomorrow. Gary wasn't sure that Howard would want that access for them because then they could interrupt at any time.
Howard goofed on Gary for a few minutes and Fred played a bunch of Baba Booey song parodies. Fred also had a clip of Gary interrupting him over his intercom that he kept playing to throw off his flow.
Ronnie came in and talked about what Bubba does out there but he didn't have that much to say about it. He just said that Bubba emcee's part of the show and then Spice Boy emceed some of the show. He said that they had some jokes and they'd mess with the audience members and stuff like that.
Ronnie said that one of the fans is dying of cancer and he's going to be buried in a Bubba Army t-shirt so they were talking about that. Howard said he's not sure how he can fly out there like that. Ronnie said that he stayed out there at the Venetian and went out there with Jim McClure from SIRIUS. He wasn't sure why Howard was mad at him though.
Howard said that the other day he had to get somewhere and the driver didn't know how to get there. He said that he got mad at Ronnie for that because he's supposed to be there heading the operation. That led to the two of them going off on one another.
Ronnie told Howard that he should always have an address with him when he wants to go somewhere but Howard said that he doesn't need to carry it. He thinks that they should just know where he's going and know how to get there.
Ronnie talked about the places he went out to eat at and mentioned he was at Nobu. Howard said that Ronnie doesn't even like fish but he went to Nobu. Then they talked about Ronnie being at Rick's Cabaret the night before he went to Vegas. Ronnie asked Howard who was feeding him all of that information.
Howard said that no one was feeding him anything, he was told by someone before the show that he was at Rick's the other night. Ronnie said that JD has been living in strip clubs lately. He doesn't even have any money.
Gary said that JD admitted that he's been going to strip clubs before even coming to work. JD said that happened twice. He said that he's not going to them that often. JD said that he did go on a Thursday night before he had to go to work. He said that they treat him really well at the clubs because of who he is.
JD claimed that he only spends about $100 at those clubs but Ronnie said that he spent like $325. JD said that's what he was about to spend but Lonnie told him not to do it and put a stop to it. He said that he was having fun out there and Lonnie told him to just stay out there and not go to the VIP room.
Jason talked about this woman that was dancing for JD and how big she was. He said that she was fat and JD fell for her right away. He said that he had a look of love on his face and when she started to dance for him, JD disappeared like it was an eclipse.
Howard told JD that he shouldn't even know what a strip club looks like because he doesn't make enough money. The guys talked about some of the stuff that he was doing and how it was all kind of ''loserish'' to them. Artie said that JD should be going out to bars and talking to regular chicks there. Howard said that regular chicks don't talk to him though.
Howard heard that JD blew his whole tax return on a girl at some club he went to. JD said that he did that and it was a long walk home that night. Artie said that JD and Teddy will go out to a club when they go out on the road and JD will blow a ton of money every time. They were calling him Jamie and Howard said that he thought they got rid of that name. He doesn't even know Jamie, he only knows JD.
Ronnie told Howard that when he was out in Vegas he tipped a woman $100 for serving them at one of the places he went to. There was a guy on the phone saying that was bullshit and there's no way he did that. Ronnie called that guy a jealous mother fucker.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Ronnie is apiece of shit. Ronnie said that all of these people are like that. He said he was on the plane yesterday and said that a fan stopped him on the airplane and told him how great he was. Then he called him a fuckin jerk off when they got off the plane. He said all of the fans are like that.
Howard said he heard that JD likes to keep in touch with his strippers through Myspace. JD said that he does look for them on there. Gary said that he heard that JD was trying to find that chick who was in with Flo Rida on Myspace. Robin asked what he does if he does find them on there. JD said that he'll just say what's up. He said he hasn't really established a relationship with any of them on there.
The caller on the line was making noise and calling Howard an asshole but he didn't have a good explanation why he was doing that. Howard hung up on him after that.
Ronnie told Howard that Bubba is going to be doing a show in Atlantic City this July so they'll all have to go down there for that. He said that they do a lot of good stuff during the show they do. He talked about how 25 Cent will run around with a chain and collar on like he's a little monkey. He said that it's funny but Howard thought that sounded a little racist to him. Ronnie said that Ned does a bunch of parodies and stuff like that during the show too.
Ronnie said that they go for about 2 and a half hours but they have a 15 minute intermission. He said it was a lot of fun out there. They had to go to break a short time later.
Lisa said that they'll have a story about an article (Did Howard Stern's sidekick go too far?) that was written about Artie and his use of the word ''fag.''
Howard said that he had to do something right then. He said that Sal thinks that tomorrow is election day so he wants to have him come in so they can ask him about that. He was isolated so he didn't hear him bring that up.
Lisa ran through some of the other stories that they're working on. They have one about one of the contestants from American Idol who thinks that Howard's support for Sanjaya last season was the reason he got kicked off.
Sal came in so Howard asked him who he's voting for tomorrow in the election. Sal said he's going to vote for McCain. He's going to register today. Howard told Sal that he's proud of him and asked him how he learned it was election day tomorrow. Sal said that he thought they were going to have the day off. He said that he saw on the news that it's coming down to the wire.
Sal said that he knew who was running for President. He said it was Barack, Hillary, McCain and Huckabee. Howard asked him who it is that's actually running for President. He ran down those names again and said the same thing.
Sal said that once the election happens they become President immediately. Howard told Sal that he's so proud that he wants to send Howard TV with him so they can see him register to vote and all of that. Sal didn't think they should do that because it's not that big of a deal.
Howard asked Sal who is going to be the Vice President in the election. Sal said that he thinks that they name them after they're elected. Sal said that he's picking McCain because Barack is a phony and they all know he's a phony. He said it has nothing to do with his race though.
Sal said that Hillary is a broad and you just can't trust women. He said it has nothing to do with his marriage that he's saying that though.
Sal gave some reasons for not voting for Huckabee, Hillary and Barack. He said that Huckabee's name is too goofy and we're already being made fun of around the world.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he can't believe that Sal is this stupid. He said he's not sure that anyone can be that dopey. Howard hung up on him before he spoiled the secret. Another caller asked Sal if he wanted to issue another ''traction'' like he did one other time. Sal said that he knows that it's a ''retraction'' now.
Sal said that he's trying to prove that he can do something right now and then. That's why he's going to register to vote. Howard said he's very proud of him. Sal mentioned that he thought that tomorrow was going to be a day off so Artie said that they really should have off.
Sal said he thought he was smelling shit there and wondered if it really was election day tomorrow. Howard said that it was and they were just very proud of him for knowing that it's election day. He thought that the primaries had already happened and tomorrow was the ''secondary'' and final election. Howard let Sal go a short time later and said that they'll know tomorrow night who the new President is. He told Sal to make sure that he has the Howard TV crew go with him when he registers to vote.
Howard took some phone calls and some people goofed on Sal. One caller asked how Sal passed the test he took for the stockbroker job he had. Howard figured he had to have cheated.
The caller said that he's been getting his balls broken at work, as a cop, because of Howard supporting Hillary. He said that she doesn't do anything for the cops and they don't want her elected.
One caller asked Howard about that thing with Sal and if that was actually Beetlejuice doing an impression of Sal. He said that he has to go vote in the Secondary tomorrow. Howard left Sal hanging and didn't tell him that he was wrong about the whole thing.
Howard said that he was going to get to that but a caller said that he found a skull in his back yard. He took the call and let the guy talk about that. The guy said that he was trying to plant a tree but he found a human skull there in his backyard. He said that he couldn't go to the cops or anything because he thought his father might have something to do with it.
The caller went on to say that his father was involved in construction and he may have had something to do with that. Artie asked him what town he was in. The guy just went over the story again and said that he didn't want to say because he didn't want to get into trouble.
The caller said that his father was away for 6 months and he's afraid to bring it up to him because he's afraid that he'll end up in the back yard with that other skull. He said that one of their neighbors had a big bull mastiff dog that would shit on their yard and that guy vanished one day. He said that he just disappeared but no one was sure what happened to him. He said that was about the same time they had some new sod installed in the back yard. He said he's kind of putting 2 and 2 together now.
Howard asked the guy if he's reliant on his father and that's why he's afraid of telling anyone. He said that he's 27 and still lives at home so, yes, he is relying on his father. He said that he took the skull and threw it under his deck. He said that he took a picture of it and sent it to them too.
Artie told the guy to just leave the skull there and not bring it up again. Just keep playing in the band and keep it under wraps. Howard said that's fucked up when you suspect your father of something like that. The caller said that he's afraid that something could happen to him. Another caller said that this guy is a liar because you don't plant trees in the fall. The skull guy said that it was an all year round type of tree so it was being planted in the fall.
The guys asked the caller if he found any holes in the skull or anything. He said that he didn't look for anything like that. Another caller said that if the neighbor just disappeared then why wasn't it reported to the cops. Skull guy said that it was an older guy and no one is sure what happened to him. That guy wasn't buying his story either.
Artie told the guy that he has to have all of his bases covered if he calls in with a story like that. Another caller said that every backyard in New Jersey has a skull in it. He said that it's not a big surprise and he should just make a bong out of the skull.
Howard asked the guy what he wants him to say. He wondered if he wanted to know if he went to the cops or something. Howard told him he should but Artie told him not to. The guys found the picture of the skull that the guy had sent in and it was real. The guy, Chad, said he's not sure what to do now. Howard said that he's not sure what to tell him and wished him luck. He let him go a short time later. Howard said he thinks that he should go to the cops, even if it is his father who buried it there. Artie said that if he loves his father he shouldn't turn him in.
Howard took a call from Mutt who said that he didn't leave any bottles or porn in his room. He said he thought that the story was just something that Shuli made up. Shuli said that Mutt was on Miserable Men last night and he didn't deny the story though. He said that they found a bunch of porn magazines and they were really old ones.
Howard said that they're never going to get to the bottom of that and just wrapped up and moved on. He said he's not sure that anyone cares so he moved on.
Howard mentioned that Artie was going to be playing Fred in Win Fred's Money but he didn't have a chick there to get naked. they said that there has to be something that he can do if he loses. They said that maybe he should have to weigh in. Artie aid that wasn't a very big payoff though. Howard said that it's a big payoff for them. They thought about having him show his dick to Robin or something like that. He said that he couldn't do that because he's too close a friend with Jim Florentine.
Gary told Artie that there isn't any money involved in this either. He said that he's just going to play Fred for no reason. Fred said that Artie has an amazing memory and he thinks that he might have a chance at beating him. Artie said that he'd like to give a charity money or something.
Howard suggested that Robin and Lisa G have to make out if Artie loses. Fred said that if he loses then Lisa G and Robin have to make out. Robin sounded confused by that.
Richard came in and gave some suggestions like shooting mayonnaise on Artie's chest if he loses, or maybe pull out some hairs from his chest. Sal said he wanted to paint on a Thurman Munson moustache on Artie with his pouch. Howard asked him if he had to vote or something. Sal said he knows that something is up with that and he's not sure what's going on. He said that some people are telling him that it's not election day. Howard told him not to pay attention to that. He said he had to go to break a short time later.
The caller told Howard that he's really into this Terminator TV show and asked some questions about her having a vagina and things like that. Howard said that of course they have a vagina, they're made to look human. He said that chick playing the Terminator chick is really hot too.
Howard read that SIRIUS is going to keep E Street Radio going. He talked about that with Artie for a few seconds and then played some audio of a guy who growls like a dog when he's having sex in porn movies. He said that he pictures Artie sounding like that. Artie said he probably does.
Howard said that he doesn't make any noise at all when he's doing it. Beth even points that out sometimes. He said that he has some kind of paranoia that keeps him from doing that.
Howard had some audio of Riley Martin doing his act at a comedy show at Bob Levy's comedy club over the weekend. He said that Riley did a show on Friday night and another one on Saturday. Saturday night he was loaded and blitzed out of his mind. He said that Howard TV went to the night that he was coherent.
Howard played some of Riley's act where he went off on Howard and then did some jokes about Ronald Reagan and how his last name spelled backwards is the N-word. Riley also talked about his partner E-Ron and how he met him. He told some stories about him and about some other stuff that didn't make a hell of a lot of sense.
Riley did manage to keep the audience with him and they were laughing and actually listening to his act. His stories were long and drawn out but the audience wasn't heckling him or anything. Howard asked what the hell was going on there. Artie aid that it was the most tolerant crowd he'd ever heard.
Howard played a few minutes of Riley's act but it was all nonsense. He said that the next night Riley was a little more out of it. He played some of the audio of that and Riley was slurring his speech so much that it was unintelligible. He was getting laughs but it wasn't clear what he was even saying. Howard said that he kind of fell apart that night. Robin said that's the night she would have rather have been to.
Howard heard that Riley brings his parrot with him wherever he goes and he apparently doesn't like the parrot which is his wife's. Shuli told Howard about how Riley started drinking on Saturday morning and drank from about 10am to 6pm. He heard he fell off the bar stool during that time and Bob Levy started to freak out. He had some tape from Riley's room where he went to do an interview. In the clip you can hear this bird making noise and Riley's wife asking him questions about his shoes and stuff like that.
The bird's noise sounded like an alarm clock or something and it kept doing it every few seconds while Shuli was in the room. Shuli said he couldn't get out of that room fast enough. He said that Riley claimed that he had food poisoning that night that he was slurring his words.
Howard played more of Riley's act from Friday night where he wasn't slurring his speech. He talked about how his contract was going to be ending soon and how he wants them to give him more money.
Shuli said that Riley went on for 20 minutes on Saturday night and he had to hold him up that whole time. Howard played more of Riley's act where he was thanking the audience for giving him the benefit of the doubt. Then the crowd starts chanting ''Cheap Jew Bastard'' over and over again. Howard said that was some act he's got there. Shuli said it was actually great how he was able to keep the crowd with him all that time.
Shuli said that Bob Levy has to pay Beetlejuice not to drink, now he's going to have to pay Riley not to drink on the weekends so he can do the shows. He said that Riley showed up right before he was supposed to go on stage so Bob was freaking out thinking that he was going to flake out on them.
Shuli said that Riley was selling some stuff at the show and he had a line of people waiting to buy it. He said that there were big fat guys leaving with Riley headbands on. Shuli said that Riley did about 7-10 minutes on Friday night but then on Saturday he did about 20 minutes.
Al Rosenberg called in and said that Shuli looked like a doctor holding up a stroke victim up on stage there at the show on Saturday. Howard said that Al is on Miserable Men (Sundays at 7pm on Howard 101) now too.
Howard took a call from Riley who said that he was sick on Saturday night and he told them about it 2 days before. He said that he was more stable on Friday night. He said that he was really sick and it wasn't the alcohol that was making him act like that. Shuli said that he was drinking at 10 in the morning drinking on Saturday morning. Riley told him not to sit at the table with him anymore then. He said that he has no sympathy in his heart and he thought he was a decent human being but now he knows he's a dirt wad.
Howard played some more of the audio of Riley on Saturday night and said that he did sound drunk to him. Riley said that it was food poisoning. He said that he's on probation so he wasn't drinking. He told Shuli that his act is a piece of shit and he's funnier than he is any day of the week. He said that if he wants to tear him down in front of these people then he's not a decent human being. He told him to stay away from him in the future ''you motherfucker.'' By that time they had pulled a clip of Riley's bird so Fred threw that in the middle of the discussion with him.
Riley said that the parrot that goes with him is his friend. He said that the bird is about 31 years old and that's his buddy. He said that he likes to go out on the road with him. He said that he bird loves the limelight and that's why he takes it out on the road.
Howard said that Riley is claiming that he wasn't drunk on Saturday night. Riley said that's because he's on probation and he's not supposed to be drinking. He said that Shuli is really trying to fuck him over by talking about this stuff on the air.
Shuli said that Riley was talking about how funny he was the other night and now he's saying that he wasn't funny at all. Riley said that he's putting him down and that's why he's going off on him. Riley gave Shuli a 1.5 rating for his comedy act. He said that he was trying to give him some kudos the other night when he told him how funny he was.
Syrus called in and said that Riley wasn't all that great on Friday night. He said he tuned him out when he was up on stage. Riley asked him why he came out to the show then. Syrus said that he was there to see a good show and see the other guys.
Riley said that he got a standing ovation that night and he wants Shuli to stay out of his business from now on. He wants him to stay away from him and from his family. Shuli said he has no problem with that. Fred kept throwing in that bird cawing sound once in a while during the call. Howard was going to let him go but a phone caller said that Riley just blew a Breathalyzer 3 times the legal level over the radio.
Riley said that he'll be doing another show down in Atlantic City at the end of this month. Howard let him go and took another call from a guy who said that he was at the show and thought Riley was actually good.
Artie said that he tied Fred once but he never beat him when he was playing along.
Artie had to go over and weigh himself after that loss. The guys weren't sure how much he was going to weigh but Howard said he may have lost some weight. He came in at 295 pounds. Artie said that he knew that it was going to be anticlimactic. Howard said that he had a look on his face like he was proud that he was thin. Artie said that he was kind of proud of that. He said that he was strutting around the studio like he was really proud after that.
Artie said that it might have been the stress from this whole thing. He said that this was the most stressful thing that he's done on the show. He said that he's also got that trip to the Middle East soon and he was told to lose some weight for that.
Artie said that he kind of took a guess on the Thomas Jefferson question and just happened to get it right. He said that he didn't actually know that one answer that he got correct. Howard said that he had to take another break a short time later.
Howard said that she claims that she hasn't had sex in 2 years and that was hard to believe. He said that sarcastically. He said that her husband must have left her when her voice got deeper than his. She told Larry that she hadn't had sex in 2 years and she's not sure if she could have had it from someone other than her husband or not. Artie said he can't believe how she sounds now. Howard told him that she's actually younger than he is.
Howard said that he's not sure what he's doing there to make Eric so angry. In another clip Eric said that he was blaming the news team for all of this and not Howard. He said that Howard puts his name on that news team and they're representing him. King and Gina, Eric's co-hosts, were asking Eric some questions about what they're supposed to do and Eric basically said that they shouldn't be talking to anyone about what happens there.
Howard said that he's glad that Eric has this going on now because it's giving him a bit of a life. Robin said that she's not sure why Kendra isn't talking to him now. Eric hasn't heard from her since all of this went down recently.
Howard had another clip where Eric said that he wants to have a one on one conversation with him. Eric said that he would like to have a nice one on one conversation with him off the air. He said that he'd like to explain his side of the whole thing. Eric said that Howard was concerned with Kendra hurting him and his news team beat her to that because they ruined it all for him. He said that he was hurt by them and not Kendra.
Eric was saying that Kendra wasn't the one who hurt him so Robin and Howard talked about how they think they were right. Howard said he feels bad for Eric about what happened.
In another clip Gina boots someone for asking Eric if he's upset that Howard was right about what he said. They're actually keeping track of the amount of people they kick from the chat room while Eric is on. They had a count of 275 for 3 days. King told Eric to let the people in the room know who was the real boss there. Eric said that he's the boss.
In another clip Eric was asked if he was upset about Johnny calling into the show last Thursday. There was a technical problem at that point and it sounded like an old film skipping as he was talking. Fred played some jack hammering sounds as Howard was pretending to be Eric talking on his megaphone. The guys talked about Johnny Fratto's call to the show last week and how great that was.
High Pitch told Howard what the web site was a couple of times and said that he got banned too many times in that JFSC chat. He said that they banned him because they thought that he was bad mouthing Johnny Fratto. Howard finally saw Eric on cam and described how disgusting he was. Artie wanted to see what else was in his apartment so Eric spun the camera around and showed it. Eric said that he was at a friend's house.
Artie told Eric that he's not clean and it's just gross. Howard asked to see his penis but Eric said he didn't want to do that. Howard asked where his dog was and played some clips of him talking to the dog saying ''Stop it, stop it!'' as the dog was growling.
Eric said that the people on JFSC are just not nice and people can come into his room and chat any time. He said he won't kick them out. Joey Boots called in and told Howard that Eric isn't working again and not paying rent, that's why he's at his friend's house. Eric said that's not true. Joey said that Eric is up in Connecticut right now, that's why he's not home. Joey said that he's working right now posting on SFN. He told Eric that he's a liar and a leach.
Irish John called in and asked Eric what's going on with him and his job. He said he was teaching Eric how to keep a job and now he's getting involved in all of this video camera crap. He said that Eric is the only one not working in construction right now claiming that the weather isn't good enough. John said that Eric should be out working but he's topless on a web cam instead. Irish John told Eric to call his boss and get back to work. Eric said that at least he's not JFSC.
Sal said that he knows that something is going on tomorrow. He said he's not sure what it is. He said that it's not his thing and it's not fair for them to ask him what it is. He said that they're supposed to be knocking some people out of the primaries in the secondaries.
Howard told Sal what's actually going on tomorrow. Artie said that he can't believe that he doesn't know this stuff. He told him that he's just stupid. Howard explained to Sal that they have these primaries to pick people to run for President. He said that Hillary and Barack are doing these primaries and they're trying to get the democratic nomination.
Sal was telling Howard and Robin about the stuff he thinks he knows about Presidents picking their vice presidents and how that can happen at the last moment. Gary said that Sal thinks that they can just wait until the last minute to make that decision. Howard said they were going to have Sal go down and fill out some paper work there in the lobby of the building. He kicked Sal out a short time later.
Jason said that he stopped working out and he really has to get back to it. He said he knows that he has to lose the weight, he's not stupid.
Steve said they called Big Foot to see how he was doing and he got upset with them. That led to Howard playing a prank call Big Foot made to a guy about a lost dog.
Steve wrapped up his news preview with some plugs for Chuck Zito, Miserable Men and Greg Fitzsimmon's shows that are all airing tonight on Howard 101.
Jon Hein came in and ran down the stuff they'd be covering today on the Wrap Up Show. He mentioned some of the segments that they'll be talking about and I'll have full Wrap Up Show coverage later today. They ended up talking about the size of Jason's Yankee sweat shirt that was the size of a tent. Artie said he feels bad making fun of people who are that out of control. He said that he's going to run a diet and exercise plan for him.
Howard said that Robin seems annoyed when he asks her about Jim. She said she wasn't, she was just thinking trying to remember if she had.
Howard said he was reading a story about a mountain climber who saw that someone had written ''You suck Baba Booey'' on a mountain that he was climbing. He said that the guy didn't know why someone would climb up a mountain just to write that.
Robin read a story about TAB The Band which is the band that Joe Perry's kids are in. She had Howard playing some of their stuff. He said it sounded pretty good to him and he could probably get into it. He played a couple of their songs. Howard was able to figure out why they named the band TAB when Robin said that the kid's names all started with T, A and B (Tony, Adrian and someone else).
Howard was yawning and said he wasn't able to sleep last night because he lost a game of chess. He said that he kept himself up thinking about why he lost and now he's thinking about giving up the game because of that loss. He said he lost over a stupid mistake so that's why he was so upset with himself.
Howard talked a little bit about the TAB The Band stuff and how he's not sure if Joe Perry's kids should be in the same business as their father. He said that he wanted to do what his father did but he told him ''no'' when he asked. He said that's like Stephen King's son writing horror books. Gary said that they're actually good from what he's heard.
Robin asked Howard if he would be the spokesperson for Viagra if they came to him and offered $2 million. He said that he would do that and he'd even let them say he was the head of the Nazi party for $2 million. She was reading a story about how Simon Cowell turned down a job doing that for Viagra over in England. Artie said that he should be the face of Viagra. He said he's 40, overweight and he looks like he needs it. Howard said that Kathleen Turner could probably be the face of Viagra. Artie said that she'd be the face of whatever makes you lose a hard on. Howard played some audio clips from her interview with Larry King and goofed on that deep voice of hers. Fred got in on the goofing and did his Herman Munster voice for Kathleen Turner.
Robin read a story about the Van Halen tour being canceled and how Eddie Van Halen might be the cause of the problems. She had another story about a study that was done where they found that women are better liars than men are. She read a story about a Food Network host who was found to have lied about his previous jobs.
Andrea said that she's afraid that they're not going to be able to do the operation because of all of the pills she takes. She said she had her lips done last week and they look great. Artie told her to get the boobs so big that they can't even see her face. She said they're going to be a little bigger than they were. Howard told her that she's ruining herself by doing all of this.
Howard wished Andrea luck with all of that. He let her go and said that she's only 25 and she's depressed about getting old.
Robin got back to her news and read a story about a woman who wrote a book about her Jewish family and their time in the Nazi concentration camps that turned out to be lies. Robin had a story about Rosie O'Donnell who is asking her blog visitors if they think it's time for Larry King to step down and stop interviewing.
Howard had to take a break in the middle of the news, around 10:10am. After the break Howard came back and played a clip of Fran Drescher pissing off Larry King when she was on recently. She was reading something in Spanish and Larry asked her what the hell she was doing. He wasn't really upset or pissed though. Howard heard that he had gotten pissed.
Robin had a story about Prince Harry secretly being in the military until he was outed by some various news sources. She read another story about this guy who got sick after handling some Ricin in his hotel room. She some news about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton which got Howard to do his Ted Kennedy impression again. He kept that up for a while during Robin's reports.
Robin read a story about some doctors who were investigated in the Heath Ledger overdose case. She read another one about Ellen Degeneres breaking down and crying while talking about a kid who was killed.
Artie talked about seeing George Carlin's latest special and how the guy is looking really frail at the age of 70. He said the guy is still funny though. Robin read through a few more stories and wrapped up a short time later. They ended the show around 10:40am.
Jason said he knew that someone would bring it up eventually and he was surprised it was Robin. He said that he understands that ti's the show and that's what they do. Gary said that Jason has 5 pounds left to go before he gets up to his heaviest. Jason said he knows that his sweat shirt is way too big but he could gain another 500 pounds before he'd fill it out.
Gary said that it sucks waiting for people to notice that you've put on all of that weight that you lost. Jason said that he's mentally fine and he's not that worried about the weight gain. He said that he threw his whole diet out the window after the weight loss challenge and he's almost back up to that weight he was at almost one year ago to the day he first weighed in.
Gary asked Benjy where he's at now. Benjy said that he's probably in the 240s or so and he's put on about 2/3 of the weight he was at during that weight loss challenge. He said that Jason was so into it back then that he said he'd never gain back the weight. They talked about the rest of the guys and how they're all getting, or have gotten, back to the weight they were at before the weight loss challenge.
Jon took a call from a guy who brought up Robin and how she was wearing a big moo-moo about a year ago and she may have dropped the weight now but she could gain it back. He said that she still needs to lose a few pounds. Gary said that she looks phenomenal now and she's not a young woman anymore. He said that she's kept it off for a while now too.
The caller said that once the Jim thing slows down she'll probably gain that weight back. He said that she shouldn't be goofing on Jason the way she is. Jason said he's fine with it, he knows that it's the way they do things on the show. He said that she's a vegan now and she's hard core.
Gary said that Robin lost weight on that Master Cleanser diet years ago but that never even comes up anymore. She put the weight back on after that diet worked for a little while. Gary said that he'd bring it up if she attacked him for no reason.
Jon took another call from a guy who said he blames Howard for this weight gain stuff. He said that they have all of that food that they have in there every week and you can't expect people to stay thin if they have the food around there all the time. Gary said that every corporation does that. Gary and Jason said that it's not the company's responsibility to keep them thin. The guy said that he works for craft services and they put out healthy food for people. He said he's just worried about the guys because he wants them to be around a lot longer.
JD said that they have had healthy food laid out for them but it just stays out and no one eats it. Gary said that he's been to a lot of places in the mid-west and he feels pretty good about his weight when he sees how fat other people are. That led to Jason and Jon talking about this section they're going to be sitting in out at a Pittsburgh ball game this summer and thy get unlimited food for $35.
Gary said that down at Disney they have wheelchairs and fat people will use them so they don't have to walk. Jon said that's a great way to cut lines down there.
Jon took another call from a guy who asked what they're eating to get so fat. He said that it's sickening. Jason said that they're just a mirror of American life. The caller said he hates Jason because his voice is annoying. Jason asked him to say it louder and clearer but the guy hung up on them.
Another caller said that Robin is not thin but she may look a little better. She said that what Robin is doing to Jason is like what a felon might do by making fun of another criminal. She said that she needs to keep her mouth shut instead of making fun of Jason.
Gary said he thinks that Robin would have made fun of Jason even if she was still fat. The woman said that Robin isn't perfect and she shouldn't be making fun of other fat people.
Jon took another call from a guy who said that he's had the numbers from the weight loss challenge and had a total of what they weighed. He said that there were 6 people and they came in over 1000 pounds total. He said that was ridiculous. The guys said that they weren't claiming to be thin though.
Gary said that if he wasn't working there, he said that he'd probably be even fatter. He said if he worked for Bubba, he'd probably be even fatter because Bubba doesn't make fun of his guys for gaining weight. He said that Howard keeps him from getting even fatter.
Jason said that his fiancé keeps telling him to give up on the gym membership he has but he thinks that he's eventually going to go back to working out and losing weight. He said that maybe he'll just have to say that tomorrow he'll have to go.
A woman called in and said that she weighs 118 pounds and she can eat just about anything she wants. Gary said that some people are able to do that and they just don't gain weight. He said that Will is like that and he sometimes complains that he has to put on weight. Jason said that their old office manager was like that and she could out eat him at lunch and not gain a pound.
Richard said that he was getting annoyed a lot lately about spending so much time on Eric the Midget and not play their 2 minute bits. He said he gets upset by that. Gary said that he's kind of like publicists who call and say the same thing about their clients not getting booked for the show while they'll spend an hour with Eric the Midget.
Sal said that he saw Richard well up with tears one day and he had to calm him down and let him know that they can't get everything played. Richard said that he doesn't want to sound like a whiner but he gets upset when their stuff gets brushed over. Gary said that he's not brushing over it, Howard just goes through stuff and sometimes he's not into what they create.
Richard said that he really got bummed out when Howard played part of one of the songs he did and goofed on it. He said he'd rather not have him play it at all than have him do that. Sal said that he doesn't like when Howard asks Robin about some of that stuff because it's not good to go in with that kind of attitude. He said that he'd rather not put out mediocre shit. He said he'd rather have Howard and the guys give them advice about the bits they do so they can change them.
Sal and Richard are always talking about these bits saying ''we'' all the time so they explained that they do work on most of those bits together so they are a team. That's why they refer to each other as ''we.''
Richard talked about the 3 minute long song that Howard didn't like and didn't play. He said that he never expected him to play the whole song but he didn't expected him to cut off after just a few lines. Sal said that Richard wasn't too fond of the Mike Morse song that Howard had played that same morning that he cut Richard's song off.
Jon asked Gary who mopes the most when the bits don't get played. Gary said it's Richard but Sal used to do it more. Sal has backed off but Richard will send him instant messages about it and ask why their stuff isn't getting played. Richard said that he doesn't want to annoy Gary about that kind of stuff and that's why he's been IM'ing him instead of coming into his office and asking about it. Gary said that those IMs are still very mopey.
Sal and Richard said that getting their stuff played on the air is like a drug to them. That's why they try to get that stuff on the air.
JD said that he has stuff that he'd like to get played on the air too. Gary said that JD never complains about that though. He said that might be his worst characteristic because he doesn't push for his own bits to get played.
Gary said that one thing that Richard does that annoys him is something he did last week. He said it was like 9:15 last Thursday and he asked if it was a good time to play his bit. They still had guests to get to and they had to cram it all in at the end of the show.
Jon played a clip of Richard talking to Howard earlier this morning about his bits not getting played. After playing the clip they talked to Sal and Richard about some of the bits that they do and how maybe they over think what they're doing and have imaginary conversations in their heads about what Howard might say about them.
Richard said that there have been some things that Howard has thought were way too over the top and that makes them think that maybe they're losing touch with the show. Gary asked them if they think that they've changed or if Howard is changing. Richard said that he thinks that Howard has gotten nicer and he doesn't like the really rude prank phone calls. He said that means they have to be more careful during their prank calls.
Jon took a call from a woman who said that she's not sure why these guys are complaining about this stuff because everyone knows who they are. She also said that Eric the Midget is great radio these days and they should just stop whining about all of this. Richard said that they want to make new calls and have them played on the show. They don't want to be known just for the stuff they've done in the past.
Gary was talking about Richard almost crying the other day when he came into his office when Ronnie let out a belly laugh. He asked if this was the cry baby show today. Ronnie told him to dry his pussy and get over it. Benjy asked Ronnie when he last teared up and cried. Ronnie said it was about 7 months ago over his marriage. He said that's all he was going to say. He told him to drop it. Sal said that's the last time Bonnie laughed her ass off too.
Jon asked Ronnie about the Las Vegas stories he told earlier this morning. Ronnie said there were no stories, he just went out to see his friend Bubba. He said it wasn't a big deal. Sal said that Howard isn't jealous of him but Gary said that he might be jealous of the fact that he can go out and have fun in Vegas.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Sal and Richard to get over this stuff. Sal said that they have 7 million people getting involved in their private lives and that's why this stuff ends up on the air. Richard said that he never intended for this to get on the air. Gary said that if it happens in the office it's probably going to end up on the air.
Gary said that there was a period of time when he would feel like Howard hated him. He said that he wasn't sure if it was in his head or not but this job is a marathon, not a sprint. Gary said that he was treated really well in the beginning and then they started goofing on him. That's what's happening to Richard and Sal. Benjy said that the hate phase for him started in 1999 and he thinks that it might end by next year.
Richard said that he doesn't think that they can go in and talk to guests anymore because Howard thinks that they're just too crazy. Gary said that Sal has gone over the edge with some of the stuff that he's done to guests and that's why they can't just walk in like that. He said that Sal calling Pat Cooper's girlfriend a cunt was going way over the line.
Gary said that they haven't even asked about going into the studio lately. Sal said that the Richard Lewis thing was what put a stop to that. He went on to talk about how he was talking to Russell Simmons and called himself the White Devil. He said that he was trying to ease some tension there and that's why he was goofing around.
Ronnie said he was going to leave since Jon was back to the cry baby show. Gary and Jon had to go to break a short time later.
Gary said that Shuli was telling him how great things work there and how he got to see all of this go down. Gary talked about how he told Howard about it and then they set up Sal so he wouldn't hear them talking about it on the air. He said that they took Sal aside and things worked out very effortlessly.
Sal said that he's doing to register to vote even though the election isn't tomorrow. He said that Gary helped him out with the paperwork. Gary said that he convinced Sal that he should vote and his vote does count.
Sal said that he found out that election day is in November and it's the second Tuesday of the month. He said that he's going to vote for McCain. He said that he can't vote for Obama because he thinks that he's scamming everyone.
Jon said that last night on 60 Minutes they talked about the pictures that people have seen of him wearing a turban and things like that. Sal said that he's a Muslim and those people hate America. He said that he just can't trust him. He was also asked about Hillary so Sal said that he doesn't trust any woman to run the country. He said that every woman does everything based on emotions. He said that women don't know what they want.
Sal was also saying that he doesn't like Huckabee because of his name. He said that if he was so good he'd know something about him. He knows nothing about him. Gary asked Sal what he knows about John McCain but he really didn't have anything other than the fact that he's not Hillary or Obama. He said it's not about race though.
Gary asked Sal to tell him something about John McCain that he knows. He said that he knows that he's against the war after Teddy filled him in on that.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he gets kind of tired of hearing about all of this stuff from Sal who should know more about politics than he says he does. He said that he should be up on current events if he was a stockbroker at some time. He said that they teach you the basics in 4th grade.
Sal said that he was trying to put together something about a Wack Pack Election thing when he asked Gary about the election. That's where all of that came from. He said that he has no interest in this area and that's why it doesn't absorb into his brain. Gary asked Sal if he was stupid, how would he know if he wasn't stupid. Sal said that he's smart enough to know that he has no desire to know about politics. He said that when you vote you're voting for ''the lesser of two devils.''
Jon played a clip of Howard talking to Sal about the Primary and Secondary elections. Gary said his favorite line was when Howard said that Sal's kids are going to be so proud of him when he shows up to their school to vote.
The guys talked to Sal more about what Sal knows about politics and why he's picking John McCain. Sal was still going off on Barack Obama saying that he's just bullshitting us.
A caller said that Sal isn't stupid, he thinks that he's just ignorant. He said that he chooses not to learn stuff that he could learn if he wanted to. He told Sal and Richard to just be men and stop whining about their clips not getting played.
Jon asked Sal if he thinks that he's stupid or ignorant. Sal said that he's neither. He said that he just admits that he doesn't have any knowledge of when the election is because he has no interest in politics. He said that what he does on the show is what makes him content and he doesn't want people judging him because he doesn't judge them.
Another caller said that Sal really is ignorant just like the previous caller said. Sal argued with him about that. Gary asked Sal if he doesn't remember having every election day off when he was in school. Sal said he did remember that it was on a Tuesday but he didn't remember that it was in November. That led to Gary asking Sal when Labor day, Memorial Day and other dates like that were. Sal wasn't so sure about when they took place. He said that he thinks that Memorial Day is at the end of September. Then he said that it was the first week of September. Then he said that Labor Day was in June. Gary asked him if he puts on Halloween costumes in January.
Jon shifted gears and asked the guys about Win Fred's Money with Artie. Gary said that Artie was the one who brought it up and said that he wanted to give it a shot. He said that Artie kind of reeled it in this morning when he said he didn't think that he could beat him. He said he thought the questions were really hard this morning though.
Gary thinks that Robin could come closest to beating Fred if she played. That led to Jon playing a clip of Artie getting on the scale and weighing in at 295 pounds. <>Jon went to the phones again and let a caller ask Sal if he's really that clueless or is all of this shtick? He told Sal to maybe go out and learn some stuff about the revolutionary war. Gary said that they should make Sal go out and do one of those reenactments for the war. Sal said he has no interest in doing that. Gary said that he makes no sense because he says he doesn't want to know about the stuff but then he wants to know about stuff on the show that he doesn't know about. Sal said that he wants to know about stuff but it's really not that important to him. Jon had to end the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about how he was trying to catch sone Z's there in the studio. He said that he and Beth have been staying up watching this show ''In Treatment'' on HBO On Demand. He said that there's something wrong with the service though and they have a message saying ''try later.'' He said he's in the middle of week 5 of that show. He told Robin that she has to go back and start from the beginning and watch them all in order.
Howard took a call from a guy who was calling from Hong Kong. The caller said that he watched ''are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader'' there in Hong Kong. He said that means that Howard is losing his ideas to the world. He said that it really makes American's look like idiots too.
Howard said he was just thinking about that and how FOX development used to call him all the time to do shows but he wouldn't do anything with them. He said he had meetings with some people over there and they'd want him to turn bits from his show into TV shows. He said that if he wanted to do that he'd do it on his own and not do them for another company like that.
Howard said that it's obvious that the producer of the show must have listened to his show and ripped off the idea from them. He said that there's some guy there making tons of money and he probably believes that he didn't rip it off from him. He said he probably sits there with a big grin on his face like a Cheshire cat. He said ''fuck him'' and went off on these guys who steal from his show.
Howard said that he should sue but he doesn't know. He said he has tapes that pre-date that show and he could prove that it was ripped off. The caller tried to tell Howard that he had to go out and meet with some people over there in Hong Kong and it was embarrassing that the show is on over there. Howard told him they heard that already and hung up on him.
Howard took another call from a guy who suggested that he try to catch these people before they rip him off. Howard got even more pissed off and went off on Jeff Foxworthy calling him a ''no talent cock sucker'' as he was talking to the caller. He seemed to be getting more and more pissed off about that show.
Howard went off on President Bush about getting us involved in Iraq and talking about what a mess that is over there.
The caller told Howard that he had some comments about the merger to make too. He said that people should be more worried about Congressmen being paid off instead of worrying about the merger itself. Howard said that's obvious and thanked him for the call before hanging up.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up a story about Steve-O getting arrested. Howard said that he's been following that story and he'd talk about that. Then the caller mentioned the Oprah Winfrey show that aired on Sunday night and how that got big ratings. The caller said that he watched the show and it was kind of dumb to have people helping other people by giving them money. He said that the people shouldn't be making money to give away money.
Howard said he doesn't think that show is going to last but Robin said she thinks that it might keep getting big ratings because that Extreme Makeover show is still getting a huge audience.
Howard got back to Steve-O and how his neighbor was accusing him of harassing him. It turns out he has tape of himself harassing the guy and the tape is all over the internet so that's how this neighbor is getting him in trouble. He had some clips of Steve-O doing stuff to bother this guy.
Howard said he had one clip, that he said you can find on PerezHilton.com, where Steve-O starts pounding on his neighbor's door with a BB gun. He played that audio where Steve-O bangs on his neighbor's door and tells him to get out of the building. Then he runs back to his apartment and closes the door while the neighbor yells at him. Steve won't come out of the apartment and starts spitting on his own door telling the guy he's spitting on him.
Howard said that he cut some of this down because there's so much to it. He said that the cops are going to have tape of all of this to use in court when they take Steve-O in. He said that Steve is in the hall in another clip where he's got most of his neighbors out with him and they all seem to be on his side. He asks them all if they want the guy out of the building and some people cheer and say ''Yeah!'' Steve-O bangs on his door and they get him out of his apartment. Steve-O tells the guy that he's out of there and calls him a ''faggot ass'' as he's walking away.
Howard said that you can't blame the guy if he's doing all of this after Steve-O is banging on his door yelling at him. He said that he had a problem when he was living in Bloomfield, Connecticut because his neighbors were awful. He said he was only making 12 grand a year and they had a bug up their ass and told him that they had freedom of speech and they would blast music, hang signs on his door and things like that. There was no arguing with them though. They wouldn't tell him what problem they had with him.
Howard said that the housing there was so bad that the shit started coming up through the toilets there. He got out of there himself by getting a job in Detroit.
Howard said that in another clip Steve-O starts drilling holes through the wall in the hall into the guy's apartment to see what he's decorating is like. He ends up pounding with a chisel through the wall. Steve-O was calling it a ''meet and greet.'' JD said that he's actually drilling through his own wall into the guy's apartment because they're right next to each other.
Howard said that he can't imagine having him as a neighbor. He wondered if he ever amps it down at all. Artie said that this reminds him of a friend's friend who lived next to some neighbors in a shitty apartment building. He said that to fuck with the people he put on a loop of a Crosby Stills and Nash song that he left playing over a whole weekend. He said when the guy came home the cops had broken into his apartment to stop the music.
Howard played more of Steve-O yelling at his neighbor and spitting through the hole in his wall. Howard wondered if he ever sits down and balances his check book or anything. Then he had another clip where Steve was going to put speaker wires through the wall to set up speakers in his apartment. In the clip you can hear Steve yelling through the hole in the wall and trying to get rid of this neighbor. The guy was in his apartment turning the lights off so Steve couldn't see him.
Steve-O eventually sticks a speaker through the wall and turns on some loud music. He plays it at full volume and Steve plays some Tool for the guy. The song was ''Prison Sex.''
Howard said that Steve-O is now in jail over all of this. He read a quick article about that and they say that the neighbor made a citizen's arrest on him and held him until the cops came. Howard said it may have been the fact that Steve-O was having parties that were too loud and that's what his complaints were before Steve started doing all of this stuff.
Robin said that she would have gotten out of that building as soon as possible if she had Steve-O as a neighbor. Artie said that he can't imagine someone winning the shit lottery and having Steve as a neighbor like that.
Howard had said that she was too hot for porn but Robin told him that he may have over sold her a bit. Howard said that Ronnie was telling him how hot the hookers are out in Vegas. He was out there over the weekend and this really hot chick came up to him in the casino and asked if he wanted her to come back up to the room with him. He told her to get lost when she told him it would cost him $500. He said he could tell that she just came from some other guy's room too.
Howard said that being a hooker has to be the worst for a woman because it's like the lowest thing you can be. He said that he's pretty sure that there's not much difference between hookers and porn stars because they're being paid to have sex with strangers. He said that maybe going to a set makes you feel better about yourself but you're still doing the same thing.
Howard said he likes when porn stars tell him that they never have sex with guys for money because they don't do that, but meanwhile they're having sex with strangers on film. He said that if he just put a camera and crew in his hotel room with a hooker, it would be doing porn.
Howard told Robin about this Joey Buttafuoco porn that just came out. He said that he didn't watch it yet because Beth didn't want to see it after the Amy Fisher porno. He had some clips that JD had pulled from the video. JD told the guys that the woman in the video is an older chick and she's got fake boobs and it's all that great to look at. JD said that you also see that Joey is totally shaved everywhere.
Howard played one clip where they were supposed to be at a friend's house for a barbecue and decide to have sex in this room there. You can hear a dog barking in the background as they're messing around. He said that Joey should have said ''Hey honey, get a gun and go shoot that dog.''
JD said that this woman in the video is really into giving oral, unlike those ''Schimmel women'' that were on the show last week. Howard said that Joey is totally exposed in this clip and you can see he's all shaved down. He said that it's really disgusting to him and it ruins porno for him. He laughed as he was listening and let out some sighs.
The dog kept barking in the background as Joey and this woman were messing around. The woman was talking to him and just saying too much. She made some goofy comments so the guys were goofing on her about that. Howard asked if there were any bad tattoos on her or anything. JD said she didn't have any that he saw.
At one point in the clip there were sirens so Joey improved and said that she was so hot that they had to send the fire trucks. In another clip Joey and the woman were moaning and stuff. Howard played that and then a clip where Joey said he wanted to jerk off on her tongue. Howard said that was fuckin vile. He said that he was fucking her for like an hour and then he has to finish there. JD said that you see his load there too and her mouth was open when he did it. Howard sounded grossed out by the whole thing but said ''Oh, that's so sexy'' in a sarcastic way.
Howard said that was really vile. Artie said that his poor kids have to know that this stuff is out there. Howard asked what Joey was making all that noise for after he was done. JD said he was just tired from doing what he had just done. Howard said that it was just the worst thing ever and they were setting porn back by 100 years. JD said that it was actually better than the Amy Fisher tape. That led to Howard playing some clips from that tape. He asked for the full clips instead of the short ones he had. JD said he'd get them up for him in a couple of minutes.
Howard played some tape of Benjy and Richard interviewing Joey Buttafuoco out at the AVN awards. They were goofing on the guy by playing an air horn and sticking the microphone in his face and stuff like that. Joey threatened to drop them if they puked on him like they were pretending to do.
Howard played some of the Amy Fisher porn clips. He said that in this one clip she's rubbing dry soap on herself and it was very strange. That's where they got the clip of the guy saying ''I love your pussy'' that they play on the show once in a while.
Howard played more of the tape and got grossed out by the guy. He also hated Amy sucking air in and breathing heavy the way she was. Then the guy would tell her that she was so pink and tight and he'd get grossed out by his voice. The guy says that he wants to examine her pussy at one point. Howard said he had to go to break a short time later. He mentioned that Wyclef Jean was coming in to perform ''Fortunate Son'' today. He said he really likes his music and has liked it for a long time. They spent a short time talking about the Fugees and how they broke up years ago. Howard goofed on Lauren Hill a little bit and that led to them talking about Dave Chappelle and how he's kind of wacky like she was. They went to break a short time later.
Howard said that Gary Garver did some more interviews. He was going to get to that but had Lisa G come in first with her Howard 100 News preview. They played her in with a song called ''your Ass is Beautiful'' by the Bleeding Deacons. That led to Howard asking her about her ass and if she'd show it off in a thong. She said she wouldn't. Howard said that Kate Hudson was in the paper in a bikini and she's got a great ass. She doesn't have much in the way of tits but Howard said that he doesn't care about them that much. Artie said that she needs something there. Fred agreed and said that they are too flat and he agrees with Artie about that.
Howard played a little bit of this game that they played with some Wack Packers about who they're going to vote for. They all guessed at who Daniel Carver is going to vote for and then played a clip of him talking about how he's going to vote for McCain. Howard then had the guys guess who Jeff the Drunk is going to vote for. The guys all took their guesses and ended up talking about Hillary Clinton for a short time.
Howard said that people like Hillary should be coming to him to get the word out to the young males out there. He said that he's the perfect show to get that message out there. He said that guys aren't going to watch her on Oprah's show. He said that everyone is afraid of him for some reason and he's not sure why.
Howard said that Gary just bummed him out when he gave him a note where they list all of the countries that they syndicate ''Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader.'' He said that he was so ticked off that they're making billions off of a ripped off bit that he's decided to sue them now. He said he wants a billion bucks for that and he can prove that the ripped off a bit from the show.
Howard played the clip of Jeff the Drunk talking about how he's going to vote for Barack Obama because Hillary is a cunt. Howard had Shirley from God Hates Fags playing this game too. Everyone said that she wouldn't vote for anyone. They figured that she might pick Huckabee. In the clip Shirley said that she wouldn't vote for any of them because they're all heads of the same monster. She was going on and on about how they're all for the fags and that's why this country is going to keep getting worse and worse.
Howard had Crazy Alice up next. the guys took quick guesses but when they played the clip, Alice said she wasn't going to vote. She said she wouldn't vote for a coon or a kike. No one was sure which one was the kike in that whole thing. Howard said the game wasn't really working with no answers from the Wack Packers. Sal came in and said that one of the answers should have been ''No one.''
Up next was Riley Martin. They guessed that he was going to pick Barack Obama. That's exactly who he went with. Riley explained why he was picking him and why he wasn't going with Hillary. Wendy the Retard said that she's going to vote for Hillary because Barack is going to take better care of the blacks than she would with the whites. Howard asked if Wendy is allowed to vote. Robin said no but the guys wondered how they could stop her.
Up next was Blue Iris who said she's going to vote for Obama. Then they had Big Foot talking about how he was going to vote for himself because he's better off than any other President.
Howard said that all of these women have to think about what they look like to the guys who are banging them from behind. Artie wanted to know how old Lisa was but she didn't want to say. Howard said that women don't want to talk about that kind of stuff.
Artie was talking about how the last whore he had out in Vegas saw his ass when he got up from banging her. That led to him talking about how hot the hookers are out there.
Lisa said that they have a story that they're working on about Beth O in some article. She said that Yucko the Clown broke his arm while shooting a bit. They'll have more on that and about Gary getting into the Friar's club. She said that they have some audio from the Bubbapalooza event out in Las Vegas.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Lisa about her love life and why she has cob webs down there. She said that's none of his business. Howard asked if anyone has ever gotten cobwebs down there from inactivity. Lisa said that they do say that having sex frequently is a good thing. Howard thanked Lisa for coming in and let her go a short time later.
Howard said that Gary Garver went out to a Celebrity Poker Tournament and interviewed some people. First up was Cameron Manheim. She knew what was going on and passed on the interview. She said that she wasn't upset with Howard or anything but she didn't want to talk to him about how many men she's had. She read the questions he had and said that Howard Stern was ugly when she read one about describing Howard in one word. She read through a few of them and said that Gary reminded her of every guy she knew in high school.
Howard said that the next interview was with Jerry Buss. Garver ended up kissing his ass instead of asking him the questions he had on the list. He didn't bother to read any of them, he just congratulated him on his season because he's the owner of the Lakers. Howard said that went on and on. He just did a straight interview with the guy. Howard said that the shitty questions never come up.
Howard said that Garver got one with Meat Loaf and asked him who he was. Garver told him he had gotten stoned before he got there so that's why he didn't know who he was.
Howard said that Ken Davitian was up next, he was in the Borat movie. Garver asked him who he was and what makes him famous. He explained who he was and then asked him about Stuttering John Melendez. ken said that he doesn't even know what he does other than raising that coffee cup on the Tonight Show.
Howard said that Garver ran into Mimi Rogers again. Garver said that they played that last interview with her on Howard's show. He asked her about the Scientology thing and she said that it was inappropriate to ask about that but she'd talk about poker. Garver asked her if she thinks that Hollywood typecasts fat people. She didn't know. Garver asked if it's okay to play poker while kids are starving in Africa. She also said that Howard was ''cute'' when Garver asked her to describe him in one word. Howard said he could probably get her but he's not sure how she looks these days.
Artie said that he saw next to Mimi about 8 years ago on Politically Incorrect and she was looking over the hill back then. Garver tried asking Mimi some more questions about Scientology but she kept telling him that was inappropriate.
Garver got an interview with Victoria Pratt and when she said that Howard was ''hot'' she laughed her ass off. Howard showed the guys what she looks like and said she's really hot. Fred said that she's 38 years old too. She's a fitness model and actress. Howard read some stuff about her and said that's his kid of girl. He said that she's in some really shitty movies. He read a bunch of stuff about her and then saw that she has some nude scenes on MrSkin.com. Howard checked out some pictures of her. He said she really is hot. She's married though so he gave up on the idea of getting her. Howard read about all of the TV shows that she was in before moving on to the next segment.
Howard said that Mike panicked and stole this thing and killed the driver so he couldn't identify him. He said that it was his first killing and he really went far and stabbed him a bunch of times and left him to die in a ditch. Howard asked Mike what happened to him that made him have all of this anger. Mike said that his parents divorced when he was 2 and his dad abandoned him. He said that one of the things that might shock people is that he wants to help people who have come from that background.
Howard said that Mike got caught at a gas station when the attendant saw him covered in blood. Mike said he was charged with 1st degree murder but he got out of it when the governor signed a new law saying that minors couldn't be charged with life in prison.
Howard asked Mike if he would ever want to kill again. Mike said that he could never do that again because of what it did to the family of the guy he killed. He said that the man was a Vietnamese immigrant and he had kids and a family. He said that he's been out of jail for 10 years now and no one knew what he did when he was younger. He said that he wants to let the world know what he did.
Howard said that Mike has a good job as an IT guy and managed to keep that a secret from his boss. Mike said he was doing some subcontracting and he just falls through the cracks like so many people do. He said that he wonders how he's been able to do that.
Mike said that he's been back to the city where he killed the guy and he has been unable to locate the family. He said that he wanted to do something for them and give them some money but he hasn't been able to find them. He said that he was going to donate some money to them and he still wants to do that.
Howard asked Mike if he's killed anyone in prison. Mike said he didn't but he did get into a lot of fights. He went into prison with a very big chip on his shoulder but he's gotten over it.
Mike said that he had a guy blow him in prison one time but he never did that himself. Mike said that he was getting a massage from a guy and the guy ended up going to work in a way that he had never done before and he started to blow him. He said that he got upset with the guy and stopped him. He said that he told him he didn't want that and got massages from him the next week.
Mike said that he had started having sex when he was 13 so he had some girls before he was in prison. He said that he had women come in to do him there too. He said he just had to pay off the officers. He said that it was easy to do it in the facility he was in out in Lincoln, Nebraska. He said that some of the chicks were hot too.
Mike said that he will never have any kids because he doesn't want to bring a little him into the world. Howard read some stuff about him and how he was a real trouble maker when he was a kid. He said that maybe there's something genetically wrong with him. Mike said that he's looking into that and he's on some drugs like Zoloft and he's trying to keep himself stable.
Howard said that Mike is going out and telling people what he did as a kid. Mike said that he goes to other prisons and talks to people about what he did and how they can stop themselves from wrecking their lives. He said he's trying to help people.
Howard asked Mike if he ever got off sexually after killing the guy. He said that he didn't but he knows people who do. He said that when he killed that guy he did fell like he had gotten all of his frustrations out. He said that it was the most relaxed he had ever been after that killing. He knows that it was wrong though.
Howard took some calls and let some people go off on Mike about what he did. That led to Mike talking about how he does stand-up comedy. Howard asked if he ever uses the murder in his act. He said of course he doesn't use that.
A caller told Howard that this living piece of shit never should have been let out of jail. He said that he seems to have some glee in his voice about this murder that he committed. Howard said he kind of agrees that when you murder someone you should never get out of jail. He said that people are going to despise him for what he did. Mike said that he deserves that and he knows that he's going to get it. Mike said that he has remorse and no one knows what he's feeling. He said that he spent 17 years of his life trying to turn his life around. He said that he's now trying to help people out by going out and speaking.
One caller told Mike that he should grab a gun and blow his own brains out. Mike said that he's trying to get better and do the right thing now. Another caller told Mike that he could easily track down the family of the guy he killed through the internet. Mike said that he's been looking for them but they may have gone back to Viet Nam. He said that he has looked for them and hasn't been able to find them.
Mike talked about how he fought with the driver that he killed and how the guy put up a good fight. He said there was no way he was going to give up the fight and run away though. Artie said that this guy isn't going to get a lot of sympathy because of the way he killed the guy. He didn't really have any pressure other than what he had in his head. He said that it shows that he was sick in the head.
Mike talked about the 17 years he served for the crimes. He said that he got 10 years in one state and 7 in another one after they charged him with some other stuff. He said that he's not there to get sympathy, he's trying to find those people in all of the listeners out there who need help. He said that he wants to help those people that might be fucked up like he was.
Mike said that he's been married for 9 years now and she knows that he did. He said that he has a marriage that's going through a lot of strain right now and he's hoping that they don't get divorced. He said that he feels he has to do this stuff and that's making things kind of tough. Mike said that they're not all that social but they do have a core group of friends that they hang out with.
A caller said that Mike isn't going to pay for his murder until he reaches room temperature. another caller asked about the wife and if she wants to have kids. Howard told the guy that Mike already said that he's not going to have kids. Mike talked about her and how he's known that woman since he was a kid before he went to jail.
Mike said that he's making good money as an IT guy and that's one of his points that he's making today. He said that 90 percent of the people in jail are going to get out.
A private detective called in and said that he might be able to find this family for him so he can get some money to them. Mike said that he'd like to throw his web site out there because he would like to get the word out through that. You can check that out at UncleMike.us.
Howard told Mike that he should join the Killers of Comedy tour. Artie said that Bob Levy would put him on the gigs just for the plugs.
Mike said that he doesn't want people to like him as this messenger, but he would like people to see the message he's trying to get out there. Howard took some more phone calls and let some more people talk about what this guy did. One guy, a correctional officer, thinks that all of these criminals are out to scam people to make money. He thinks that this guy would kill someone if he fell on hard times again. He said that they're all trying to scam and they're all guilty. The caller told Mike that if he really wants to help the world is to go out and blow his brains out. Mike said that's not the first time he's heard that.
Mike said that the correctional officer who just called in is the same guy who is supposed to be trying to straighten out the people who are in prison. He said that's pretty scary.
Artie asked Mike if he was planning on killing someone that day. Mike said that he woke up scared that morning and he didn't know how to get himself back to his mother and ask her for help and that's the way he handled things. He said that he might have killed someone else if he hadn't killed that guy.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the guy was only 16 when he did this and a lot of kids do fucked up things when they're 16. Howard and the guys said that Mike took it to a real extreme though. Another caller said that they're forgetting an important point because it wasn't that big of a loss because the guy was Vietnamese. Even Mike thought that guy had a shitty attitude.
Robin said that this guy Mike sounds like a nice guy for a murderer. Howard wrapped up with him and let him go a short time later. Robin said she's not sure she could live with herself if she had done something like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he served over in Iraq and Afghanistan and they have to kill over there. Howard said that's much different than what this guy Mike did. They spent a minute on that and then Howard talked about how many Mike's they were talking today. The guy who just called was Mike, they had Uncle Mike, they had other Mike callers too. Artie said he went to school with like 7 Mike's in high school.
Howard said that Dan the Song Parody Man pulled a clip of Senator Ted Kennedy screwing up Barack Obama's name during a hearing one time. He played the clip where Ted called him ''Osama Bin Lad...Osama O'Bama'' while talking about him. Howard and the guys spent some time goofing on him about that.
Benjy told Howard that he was checking out Uncle Mike's web site and it's kind of strange. He read some of the stuff he has on the site and he asks sexy guys to come up and visit him on his balcony. Howard said that might need to talk to Mike again about that.
Howard got Mike back on the phone and asked him why he's asking for sexy guys on his web site. Mike said that it was supposed to be girls. Benjy said that it kind of implied guys on the site. Mike said that he'd have to fix that.
Mike said that he is married but about a month and a half ago he went away for a few days and when he came back home his wife had left him with 64 cents in his bank account. He said that he was pissed but didn't kill her or anything. He said that she cleaned him out and he had to give her props on that. The next day he started putting shit back together with her and he's not sure if they're going to be able to do that. In the mean time, he's looking for some new people to meet, that's what he has up on his web site. He said he has no use for the guys, he's looking for women only.
Artie did an impression of Mike and goofed on him a little bit. He said that someone should go get him right now and put him back in jail.
Busey eventually told the girl that the celebrities she was talking about, people like Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, were liars and not celebrities. He went off on all of them for a minute and then wrapped up with this poor kid who was stuck interviewing him.
Howard played a prank call the guys made using some Jeff Levy audio clips. They were comparing him to Uncle Mike a little earlier so that's why that clip came up. They had Jeff Levy talking about how he loves vomiting to someone at a Bulimia hotline. ARtie was laughing his ass off through that call. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Sal came in and said that he said that when he thought Howard didn't know what bit that was that Fred was playing. Howard said he was busy listening to a new Baba Booey song parody when he came out of break. That song was to the tune of ''Monday, Monday.'' Howard played that new parody and had Artie laughing his ass off again. Sal said that he wanted to marry the woman who made that song parody.
Howard had Wyclef Jean come in after that. Howard asked him about the other guy in the Fugees and what happened to him. Wyclef said that he went out and did a bunch of movies and stuff. He said he's still up to that out there in L.A. now that the writer's strike is over.
Howard talked to Wyclef about Lauren Hill and how difficult she was to work with. Wyclef said that she needs meds because she seems to be bi-polar. He said that he's been in the studio with a lot of people and he will do anything he has to just to make a record. He said that she was making people call her Ms. Hill and wouldn't let people look at her when she walked in a room.
Howard said that when she demands to be called Ms. Hill it might be time to all the doctors. Howard said that she does have talent but that's just wrong for her to make demands like that. Howard said he loved that giant afro she had.
Artie said that if Howard went nuts and started demanding that people call him Mr. Stern, there would be people like Robin and Fred who would say ''fuck you'' to him. Howard said that Wyclef had a job to do so he had to play that game as long as the product was good. He said that she needs Wyclef to make her great.
Howard told Wyclef that he came from the gutter and really made a life for himself. He asked him if he pinches himself because of how big he's gotten. Wyclef said that he does that every day. He was out at an event recently and saw all of these celebrities and it was one of those moments where he had to pinch himself.
Howard said that Wyclef has to be worth about $40 million at this point. Wyclef grew up riding donkey to school and he said that he has a really nice donkey now that he has that kind of money. Howard read about some of the stuff Wyclef had to do when he was a kid. His father made him kneel down on a vegetable slicer when he and his brother robbed a store. Wyclef said that he had to kneel on that thing all day long and he still has bad knees from that to this day.
Howard read that Wyclef once got beaten so bad that he needed 32 stitches to sew up the wound in his head. He said that he went through a lot of that kind of child abuse. Wyclef said that he was a bad kid and that's the way his father punished him. Howard figured that he was doing that stuff to get some attention from his father.
Wyclef said his father passed away a few years ago and now he knows what he was trying to say to him. He said he loves his father to death. Howard found that hard to believe and said that he can't imagine loving a man after he abused him so much. Wyclef said that those beatings were no joke but he still loves the guy for what he was trying to do.
Wyclef said that he stole $500 from his father's church one time but he brought that money to school and gave it to all of the kids in class so they could buy stuff. Howard said he was almost like Robin Hood in that way.
Howard read that Wyclef's father didn't like his music and didn't talk to him for 2 years after he got his record deal. Wyclef said that his father didn't like the music but he still wanted to try and get his approval for what he was doing. Howard said the crazy thing is that his father rejects him but once he starts making money he buys his father a Rolls Royce and he finally reconciles with him. He basically bribed him.
Wyclef said that there was another part of that story. He said that his father worked for Don Warnock where he cleaned cars and his father would pick him up in the car and they'd drive around for an hour pretending to be that father and son that they really weren't. He said that his father was cleaning those cars and the money was going to pay for him and his brother's education. He said he wouldn't be the man he is today if he didn't go through what he went through.
Howard said that was basically Wyclef giving credit to his father for his talent. He said he doesn't buy that. Howard told Wyclef to break into ''Fortunate Son'' at that point since they were talking about how he really wasn't a fortunate son. Wyclef started playing guitar and went right into his very unique cover the song. After that Howard said he loves that song.
Howard got back to Wyclef's life and how he was killing pigeons when he was a kid so he could eat them. Wyclef said that he can still use a slingshot and he could still take out some pigeons in Central Park if he wanted to go out there and try it with him.
Wyclef said that his father didn't know the rules in the city when they got there and they'd just go to the park and caught some pigeons. He said that the cops caught on quick and got them out of there though.
Wyclef lost his virginity at 12 years old so Howard asked him who she was. Wyclef said that was his first love and she was 16 when he was 12. Wyclef also got married young, at 21, but then he started having his affair with Lauren Hill and his wife started beating the crap out of him.
Wyclef said that the news got out about him having the affair and that's how his wife found out about it. Howard said that must have been something else to have Lauren Hill. Wyclef said that once that was over with Lauren, he said that he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with his wife. Howard asked him if he has an open marriage. Wyclef said he's married to a Haitian woman and he's going to get him killed talking like that.
Howard read that Wyclef would make love to like 6 women in the same night. He said that was a phase he went through and he did have a problem. He said he used to go to strip clubs a lot when he was young and wrote a song about that.
Howard said that Wyclef has a new song out, called Fast Car, and he did that with Paul Simon. Wyclef said that he had a vibe one day after he met Paul Simon. He said he went back to his studio and this vibe came to him and the song just came out of him. He called Paul and told him about it and that led to them performing the song together. That song is on his album ''Carnival II: Memoirs of an Immigrant.''
Howard asked Wyclef about the song writing process and if Paul wrote some of it. Wyclef said that he wrote his part of the song. He said that the guy is a real genius and he saw that when he wrote what he wrote for the song. Howard played the song off the CD and let it play all the way through.
After playing the song Howard asked about the guitar playing and if he took lessons. Wyclef said that he's self taught and learned in church when he was a kid. Howard said that he sounded very good in the song with Paul Simon. Wyclef told Robin about the song and what it was about. Howard said that he was a real artist after hearing the explanation.
Howard read that Wyclef is a big porno guy and he has a big collection. Wyclef said that he does have a lot and he had a favorites. He said that some of the good ones are the Taboo series. He said that it helps him perform sexually because he's been able to pick up some tips from those movies.
Howard read that Wyclef had once written a song for Steven Seagal. Wyclef said that he just played with him, he didn't write for him. He said that Seagal can play the blues on guitar and he's actually good.
Howard read that Wyclef had been seen taking human growth hormones but Wyclef said that's just not true. He said he's a health freak and he never does that stuff. He said that they even said in the article that they had no proof. He said he'd appreciate it if they just add that his new album is out in those articles.
Howard asked Wyclef what he's learned from watching those porn movies. He said that he's learned about pleasing the other person. He said he wanted to demonstrate something on Robin and asked if he could go into her booth. She was giggling but let him come in there. Wyclef told Robin that it's good to pick up a woman by angling his feet in a certain way. He showed her that and then picked her up and faked banging her. He was in a squatting position when he did that. Robin was laughing and said she was impressed with the way he picked her up. Artie asked why women never come in there and want to demonstrate stuff like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Wyclef does a cover of Pink Floyd's ''Wish You Were Here'' that's great. Howard asked him to do that and Wyclef broke right into the song and did a couple of minutes of that. Howard said that it sounds like he's a classic rock kind of guy.
Howard said that Wyclef is a man of peace but he owns 60 guns. Wyclef said that he doesn't own 60 guns at all. He said that story came out of that same place that the steroid story did. He said that he just tries to teach kids that target shooting can be a fun sport.
Howard let a caller talk to Wyclef and the guy talked about how cool he seemed to be today talking about all of this stuff and then told him he sounds like a cool black guy. He asked if he got to see that chick Fergie naked. Wyclef said that he did hang out with her a few times but he's never seen her naked.
Another caller said that Wyclef sat next to him at a bar one night and hung out just talking to them like a regular guy. He said he was really cool. Howard said that it was all bullshit in the past when people said that the Fugees hated white people.
Howard asked Wyclef who he was going to vote for. He said he thinks that Barack Obama has the wave of the future. He said that he has worked with the Clinton's for a long time now but he's inspired by Obama. They spent a couple of minutes talking about that. Wyclef said that he really doesn't know Hillary that well, he knows Bill.
Howard had the Howard TV guys replaying the shots of Wyclef demonstrating his sexual position on Robin earlier. They said it was very odd with Gary standing right there next to them.
One caller told Wyclef that if he wants to squash the steroid rumors, he should stop picking women up and banging them while standing up. That led to Howard asking Wyclef about banging Lauren Hill and if she was the hottest chick he ever banged. Wyclef said that he's still stuck on his first. He didn't sound like he wanted to say who else he's been with.
Howard asked Wyclef if he named his daughter Angelina after Angelina Jolie. He said he didn't, he just named her Angelina after the angel. Irish John called in and asked which artist left him the most star struck. Wyclef said that it was Michael Jackson. He met him a few years ago at The Hit Factory. Howard said that he met Michael one time and he freaked him the fuck out. He said he had tape on his nose and stuff like that. He was really freaky. Wyclef said that he was a musical genius though and he was so incredible back when he was making music.
Howard let another caller ask Wyclef what his favorite weed is. Wyclef said that he likes hydro. The caller said that there are different kinds though. Wyclef said that the kush is the stuff that doesn't bother him at all. Howard said that the weed they have today is too strong for him. He said that he can't do it anymore. Wyclef said that he doesn't get tripped out by that stuff at all. He said that he gets really relaxed from that stuff and it doesn't freak him out at all.
Howard said that he could go on all day talking to Wyclef but he had to end it at some point. He gave him some plugs for his new album ''Carnival II: Memoirs of an Immigrant.'' Howard and Robin asked Wyclef what he thinks they should do about illegal immigration. He said that he thinks that the immigrants that are he