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Howard started off the show talking about the Giants' winning the Super Bowl last night and how he had to stay up to watch it. He said that he could hear people screaming out on the street after they won. He said that it was a great game.
Artie said that he wants Robin to say that the Giants will never win the game next year like she did this year. Robin said that she must have brought them the win. He said that he's a huge gambler and he's been doubling his bets on the team ever since he first started betting on them.
Artie said that he won $1000 on the coin toss. He took the under on the game and he won on that bet as well as the coin toss. He said that let it all roll and doubled his money there. He broke his bookie and put him out of business. He said that he's never put a guy out of business before and now he has to work out a situation with the guy because of how much he won. He's not even sure what's going to happen there or when he's going to get his money. He got some of it but he's afraid that he's going to bet it all away.
The guys said that the bookie should have had the money to back up the bets that he was taking. Artie said that they had that discussion. .Artie said that he had some bets out in Vegas that he won too but those he got paid on. Artie said that he's up $78,000 right now since that first week of betting on the game. He said that he put $20,000 on the under alone.
Artie said that he's been up all night even though he was home at 7 in the morning Sunday. He said that he slept all day then got up at game time and stayed up all night after going to a party in his building. He talked about how great the game was and what a great win it was for the Giants.
Howard said that it really was an amazing win for the Giants with the way they came back in the last quarter. Some of the plays were amazing and he really didn't think that they were going to be able to take the lead the way they did. Robin said that she didn't think that they were going to be able to do it.
Artie talked about how the Giants were able to do that this year and the last time they won the Super Bowl. The guys all talked about how incredible the game was. Howard asked about the guy who caught the ball on his helmet because that was an amazing catch. They spent a short time talking about that play.
Howard said that the best tape to come out during the week of press conferences and stuff was Tom Brady talking about how there was no way they were only going to score 17 points after Plaxico Burress came out and predicted a score of 17-21. Howard played that clip where Brady laughed when he was asked about that score. Howard said that Brady had that ''I'm fuckin a super model'' smirk on his face during that press conference.
Howard said that if that was during cave man days, they would have taken that Giselle Bundchen chick away from Tom Brady and had the other team fuckin her right out on the field.
Howard said that he liked three of the songs that Tom Petty did but he didn't like the one he closed with. He said that he wasn't a big fan of that song and he could have closed with something better than that. Howard said that he thought the sound quality was really good. That led to him talking about how he went out to see Leslie West playing at a club last week and he couldn't hear Leslie singing in this little club he was in.
Scott the Engineer came in and said that he was reading an article about Tom Petty and they were saying that some of it was lip synced. Howard found that hard to believe but Scott said it sounded too good to be live. Howard said he can't believe that and wondered why he would do something like that. Fred said that they have to get all of that equipment out on the field in 5 minutes and they can't do a sound check that fast. He thinks that it's just the way they do business now.
Howard played some of the audio from the Half Time Show and said it sounded good to him. He still wasn't sure if it was lip synced.
Howard went on to talk about Jordin Sparks performing the National Anthem and how he thinks that she'd be super hot if she just lost 20 pounds. He said it looked like one of the line backers got up there to perform. He said he knows that it's politically incorrect to say that because people think that the weight doesn't matter, but it does. He said that it's about visual presentation and she looked like Michael Strahan in a dress. Michael Strahan with better teeth.
Howard had a clip of Jordin singing the National Anthem so he played some of that. He said that they should suit her up and get her out on the field. He guessed that she did that lip syncing too. He said that it's bizarre to do the lip sync thing after he played a little bit of Paula Abdul's performance in the pre-game show. He said that he could even do that himself. He said that it would be great if comedians did the same thing and just moved their mouths to a soundtrack of their comedy routine. Artie said that he hates that fake excitement with the fans they throw out on the field during the performance.
Artie said that those old Super Bowl parties they did in the past were great and he wanted to bring that back this year. They never did get to do that though.
Howard brought up some of the other commercials that he didn't like. The Doritos commercial didn't make any sense and he didn't like it. He said that there was an ad for an Angelina Jolie movie that's coming out and he wondered how many spies there are that look like her. He said that there's probably no sex in that movie and it's just not believable that she's a trained assassin.
he said that Godaddy.com is insane with their commercial telling people to go to the internet to watch their commercial. He kind of liked the FedEx commercial where they had the giant pigeons. He didn't like the Tide commercial with the talking stain. He said that the commercial for Iron Man looked good though. He said that looks really cool.
Jon Hein came in and told Howard that he liked the Coke commercial with the floats flying around. Howard said that was one that he liked but he thought that Under Dog would have beat out all of the other floats. He said that it was fun to watch that one but the ending was stupid. He said that Under Dog should have won, he's got super powers, Charlie Brown doesn't.
Howard said that the commercial that really pissed him off was this one with Naomi Campbell in it dancing. He said that she wasn't even dancing, she was just moving around. He said that she hit her maid with a cell phone and you can't reward her for treating people like that. He said that she should never be rewarded for something like that and he's not even sure what she was trying to sell in that commercial. Howard said that he won't buy anything that she sells. He said she did look ''very fuckable''' though and he'd like to slip her the salami.
Howard said that the Planters commercial was okay. He wasn't sure about the Charles Barkley commercial because he had no idea what it was selling. He didn't like the Justin Timberlake commercial because it was just dumb and stupid to him. He said that the will Ferrall commercial makes it look like all of his movies are the same. He said that he's physically funny but they all look the same. He said it would have been funny if his balls were hanging out of his shorts when he had his leg up on the bench during one of the commercials.
Howard said he liked the Shaq commercial but he hated the talking baby stuff. He said that the baby didn't do anything and it wasn't amusing. He said that made him really not want any more kids.
Howard said the best commercial out of the whole game was the NFL commercial for this guy Chester Pitts. He said he had no idea that this guy bagged groceries. He said that people should go back and find that one and watch it over again. He said that it was a reenactment of a real story and this guy who bags groceries is asked what game he plays. He says that he's just an Oboe player and the guy tells him to come out for some tryouts for his team, it turns out that he's a starter now. He didn't know his own dream and it was the most moving commercial he saw and it was terrific. The guys spent some time talking about this guy Chester Pitts and what a great story that was.
Howard said that he didn't understand what Plaxico was saying because of his bad English. He suggested that he take some English lessons during the off season. Howard pointed out that Plaxico is like Artie, he doesn't talk while he's crying.
Howard talked about how exciting that game was and how odd it was when Bill Belichick was when he left the field before the game was officially over. Robin heard that Tom Brady wouldn't shake Manning's hand either. They also talked about Mercury Morris' comments about the game. Howard played some audio of him from an interview where he said that he was very worked up over the game.
Artie brought up some great plays that happened during the game. He brought up some specifics and talked about those with the guys. They were also talking about how Peyton Manning was at the game watching his brother play. Robin said she thought that it was bad luck to do that but it's apparently not.
Howard said that he believes that New England was so demoralized by this that they won't have a good season next year. He said he's not sure if the Giants will have a great season next year either. He said that they'll have to wait and see. He said it must be miserable for the Patriots to lose after winning every other game in their season. He said that they were going to have either Belichick or Tom Brady call in if they won this morning. he's pretty sure that they won't call in today.
Artie said that the Kraft family knows how to run an organization and he's pretty sure they'll be great in the future. Gary came in and said that he put in a lot of time trying to make the phone calls happen this morning. He said that it looked like they were going to win and they should have had Tom Brady calling in. He said that Tom is a huge fan of the show and even knows people like Benjy. Tom didn't want some stuff brought up if he had called in and he knew that if Howard didn't ask about it, Benjy would.
Howard asked Gary if he was rooting for the Giants since he's a Jets fan. Gary said that it was just too exciting and he had to root for the Giants toward the end of the game. He said the game was just too good. Howard said he'll remember that game for years because it was that good.
Artie said that in 2 months he's going to ask about the pass that was caught on the helmet and see if Howard remembers. Howard said he'll forget by then. He won't know the name of the guy who made that catch, David Tyree.
Gary said that the game wasn't all that exciting in the first half. He said that it was 7-3 for 3 quarters and that's not exciting.
Bobo called in and told Howard about one of the commercials he kind of liked with the screaming squirrel. That led to them talking about some of the other commercials that they didn't like, like the Cave Man stuff.
Fred mentioned the commercial where they had a couple of things in the road that a driver was avoiding and then he speeds up when he sees Richard Simmons in the road.
Robin said that the Paris Hilton appearance was boring. She said that she had to watch it to see Artie and she was watching it live so she had to watch Paris. Howard said he watched it even though he taped it. He said that they watched the whole thing. He said that Dave gets big ratings when she's on and that's why he has to kiss her ass. Artie agreed and said that his agent was thrilled that he was going to be on the same night as Paris.
Howard said that if he got an interview with Paris, it would be a one time thing because he wouldn't hold back and he wouldn't be kissing her ass. He went on to play some clips of Dave's interview with Paris where he was apologizing to her for what he had done to her during her last interview. He didn't let up on some questions about her stay in prison the last time. He asked her to talk about her new movie and didn't go back to the prison discussions. Howard said that they showed a clip of Paris' new movie and someone should be arrested for making it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he'd like Robin to say that she doesn't think there will be a Subway series in the World Series this year because that will probably mean it will happen. He was also talking about some of the plays in the Super Bowl and how great they were. He talked about how good Eli Manning was in the game and how he came out from his brother's shadow by pulling out this win.
The caller was talking about a commercial that he had seen that he liked and explained it to Howard and the guys. They spent a few seconds on that and talked more about the Giants win.
The caller told Howard a story about these guys that he watches the game with every year. He said that they all got SIRIUS radios after he played it at a game that they went to last year. He thanked Howard for everything that they do.
Another caller said that Tom Brady just choked during that game and he sucks. Artie said that he doesn't suck, he just didn't have a good game. Howard said that the Giants had a groove going. The caller also thought that the nut commercial was kind of gay because it had guys liking nuts.
Howard took a call from a guy up in Canada who said that they get different commercials up there. Howard ended up bailing out on that call because he had no idea what the guy was talking about.
Howard got back to the Paris Hilton interview with Letterman and played some more clips from that. Paris was talking about all of her fragrances and she tells him that she likes to smell different every day of the week but she only had 5 fragrances. Dave talked to her about her many products like her hair extensions, cell phone video game, record label and sparkling wine in a can.
Howard asked how she has all of this shit going on. He said that Dave won't goof on her and actually called her personally to apologize for the last interview. Howard said that she said that she likes funny guys at one point. When Artie came out he mentioned that comment. Howard played the clip of Paris talking about funny guys and said that this is the level of conversation a husband would have to put up with.
Howard played a clip of Artie coming out and talking about her comment about liking funny guys and how she'll say that but then she'll be out with Stavros Nitros and you think that he must be hilarious. Howard said he was looking for any sign of distress on Artie's face on the show after what happened with Vinnie sending the e-mail to Dana and fucking up that relationship. He didn't see anything though.
Howard played a clip of Artie being interviewed out in Vegas about Heath Ledger. He was saying that now he'll get some new offers for roles now that Heath is gone. He joked about having auditioned for Brokeback Mountain and had fucked Jake Gyllenhall's ass and face. Howard said he liked that.
Howard played more of Artie's Letterman appearance where he was talking about his weight gain. He told the joke about how he's gotten mistaken for Rosie O'Donnell out on the street. Howard sneezed in the middle of that clip and said he loves doing that because it's almost like cumming.
Howard got back to the Artie clip and said that Dave seems to be a lot different with Artie than he is with Paris. He doesn't treat him quite as well. Artie said it might be Dave's time to rest during his segment. Howard thought Artie did really well with that appearance. Howard said he had to take a break a short time later.
Syrus said that he doesn't think that it really does anything but Howard disagreed. The two of them went back and forth about that a little bit. Robin said that she doesn't think that it does all that much. That led to Howard playing some clips of Sal going up to Harlem and asking some people up there if they think there should be a White History Month. Almost everyone said that every other month of the year is White History Month. Some of the people were also upset that Black History Month was in February, the shortest month of the year.
Howard said it's funny that no one thinks that there should be a White History Month. Howard said that they always try to do their best during Black History Month. That led to him playing a clip of a special tribute to porn star Lexington Steel. Howard said that he's a great man and that's why this is so important.
Howard played another Black History Moment where they explain how radio was invented. The bit featured Sal's late Uncle Paulie playing the part of Marconi and his radio gets stolen by a black guy.
Jim was telling Howard that there's an injustice going on here with the merger not being approved while other companies have been able to merge in much less time. Howard said that he's heard that the Exxon/Mobil merger went through much faster and it's got to be more of a monopoly than this merger. He said that he's not sure where on the priority list this merger is with the government. Howard said that it's not a monopoly at all and they should have a ruling one way or the other by now.
Howard said that Bush has always been for big business yet they're holding off on his merger approval. Jim said that the two biggest names in the washer/dryer business have merged and there were no talks or anything and now the prices of washers and driers have gone up!
Howard said that he's now seeing how this lobbyist thing works and how frightening it is. Jim said that it seems like the radio industry is trying to stop Howard from getting even more popular and they're doing what they can to delay the merger so maybe both companies are put out of business.
Jim said that the people in terrestrial radio don't want Howard to succeed. They know that he can win in the morning drive time market and they don't want that. Jim said that he's not allowed to own any stock in either of these companies so he's not going to benefit from talking about this stuff. He said that there really is an injustice here and he just had to talk about it. He said that they have to approve it in his opinion. They can't deny this merger.
Jim said that this merger is going to save people money and it's not like this is going to be any type of monopoly, people don't have to buy satellite radio. They have iPods in their cars now and that's what's competing with satellite. He said that this is really the last stand for regular radio too. He said that they're doing anything they can to stop the whole thing. If Howard was in ever car, he'd dominate the morning drive.
Howard and Robin were wondering how Jim is worth over $100 million. Jim told the guys that he's made some good deals in his life and he's got a big steak in TheStreet.com.
Howard asked Jim about last night's Super Bowl so Jim talked about how great that game was. He said that he loved the game and it was the first game that he watched to the end. Jim said that he can't bet on a game like that because he's out in the public eye too much. Howard told him about Artie being up $78,000 on the game and asked him what he should do with that money. Artie thinks that he should let it roll on the pro-bowl. Jim said that he'd be better off putting it into the stock market. He said that stocks are down right now and he thinks that he should invest in any company that's involved in housing. He thinks that by the end of the year the market will be back up.
Jim said that Artie should go with Hudson City Bankcorp and Black and Decker. Artie wrote that stuff down. Howard said he wanted to do an intervention with Artie. He said that he's got good money and if he took that and let it roll on Black and Decker instead of sports, he'd probably be better off. He said that this is a little bit of a roller coaster ride but it will probably pay off in the end. Jim said that he believes in this and thinks that they'll come around. He said that he should see a return of about double in 18 months on Black and Decker.
Artie said that he just bought a home and he's got a long term investment there. Jim was also saying that now is a good time to invest in SIRIUS. He said that he stock should shoot up if the merger is approved.
Jim said that if someone gets one of these $600 refund, they're probably going to buy tools to make their houses better.
Howard said that he doesn't understand stocks or Wall Street at all. He asked Jim what he did with stock trading and things like that. Jim said that he started in 1981 and it wasn't a get rich quick thing back then. He said he was managing people's money and he only had one down quarter in the years he was doing that. He said that he made 20 percent on the stuff he was dealing in and that's how he made the $100 million he was talking about earlier.
Artie asked Jim for some advice on what to do with like $300,000 to invest. Jim gave him some advice on that and suggested some stocks like Disney because they're down right now but he thinks that they'll rebound. He said that McDonalds is down and they'll probably come back. Artie said he was reading that Microsoft wants to merge with Yahoo. Howard said that will probably be approved really fast. Jim said that the government doesn't care about that because they don't own any congressmen like the radio industry does.
Gary came in to ask Jim for some advice. He said that his wife used to work for Citigroup and now it's worth about 20 percent less than it was 5 years ago. He wondered if he should hold on to it. Jim told him that he should hold on to it and it may get back up to $40 and then he should sell. He told him to hold on to it right now though.
Howard asked Jim about what he was like in school and if he got laid a lot. Jim said that he did actually. He said he was a runner in high school and that led to getting some girls. Jim didn't want to talk too much about that and tried to get back to the merger discussions.
Howard asked Jim about when he made his first million. He said that he was 31. Howard asked him what year was his biggest ever. He said that he made $21 million one year and that was the biggest ever. He said that he retired after that. Howard asked him about going to Harvard and asked about some of the other things he did when he was in school. He was a journalist and he was one of the first reporters on the scene of the Ted Bundy murders.
Jim said that he used to gamble on sports back then in school but he's not able to do that these days. He said that if he did, that would bring immediate scrutiny to him and his show, which he loves. He said that he's getting his high from the stock market now. He said that he loves to hear the Coke and Pepsi battles and stuff like that. He said that they're just pieces of paper though and they're not teams that he can root for like in football.
Jim got back to the merger stuff but Howard asked Jim who he thinks is the hottest chick in Hollywood right now. Jim threw out Halle Berry and Scarlet Johansen as a couple that he likes. Howard changed subjects again and said that Rudy Giuliani almost hired him but he didn't like his grades from Harvard. Jim said that he had a couple of B's back then and he didn't want him because of that. He said he interviewed with Romny as well but he didn't want to devote his life to Romny like he wanted him to.
Howard said that this merger is a travesty. Jim aids that it's an injustice and it's really just wrong. Howard said that he's wondering what else the government is dealing on like this. Howard said he thinks that there's a lot of devious things going on behind the scenes of this whole thing.
Jim said that they're claiming that this is all for the good of the American people that they're trying to stop this merger but it's really not the case.
Howard gave Jim some plugs for his show that airs on MSNBC each week night. That led to Howard talking about how hot some of the women are over there at MSNBC. He asked Jim about who he thinks is the hottest chick there but Jim didn't want to go there. Howard asked him about Robin's weight loss and Jim said that she's looking hot.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if Jim has nailed that hot chick Erin Burnett over there at MSNBC. Jim said that she's a very nice person and she works incredibly hard over there. He said that he loves her. He said that he's been married for 20 years but he's separated now. He said that's not an easy topic for him to talk about. He said that she's an incredible woman and he has nothing bad to say about her. He said that she helped him out every step of the way and he has no problem giving her $50 million because she deserves every bit of it.
Howard asked if Jim fell for someone and ended up leaving his wife because of that. Jim said that's not the case at all. He said it was about his love of working that may have helped end it. He said that he still talks to his wife every day and they have kids together so he's not going to say anything bad about her at all.
Robin said that she thinks that Howard's time line about when and why he broke up with his wife was off. Jim thanked her for that. They talked about Jim's wife a little more and he gave them a little history about what she did to help him out to get him out of some jams that he's been in. He said that she's a fabulous woman. Howard said that if she's fabulous to him, she's okay with him.
Gary said that he heard that it's tough to work for Jim and Jim basically said that it is tough to work for him.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up the merger again so the guys spent a few more minutes on that. Jim said that the terrestrial radio people really are petrified thinking about how they could have millions of radios in cars if the merger goes through. He thinks that they're trying to delay it and they'll have to go out of business and not be able to pay Howard to do what he's doing.
Howard asked Jim about his book ''Jim Cramer's Stay Mad for Life: Get Rich, Stay Rich (Make Your Kids Even Richer).'' Jim said that it's advice about how to get your kids into the stock market so they know how it works from an early age.
Jim said that he thinks that they should have a decision on the merger by June. He said that they have to stand up and point out to the American citizens that it's ridiculous that they're holding this up as long as they are.
Howard said that Jim was good today even though he didn't talk about who he's dating or how big his penis is. He gave him some plgus for his book and thanked him for coming in before going to break.
Bobo brought up the Victoria's Secret ad that aired and talked about how hot that chick was. Howard said he wanted to know who she was and Beth told him that it was some chick that Lenny Kravitz was banging. Howard said that he can't believe that Lenny couldn't be happy with that for the rest of his life. Howard said she was super hot.
Bobo asked what was going on with Artie and Dana so Howard asked him to talk about that. Artie said that he and Dana talked to each other last week when he was on his way to the airport. He said that she finally called him back after he had called and left messages for her. He said that it was bad and it deteriorated to her crying even when he said that nothing was going to happen with those girls. He said that he would have told her about what had gone on but she thought that he had gotten caught doing something wrong.
Howard said that Vinnie is the one who was taking it so seriously that he was going to try and get those girls but Artie knew that nothing was going to happen. He said that Vinnie doesn't even work for the show and he was taking things into his own hands to make things happen for him.
Artie said that his driver was listening to this call he had with Dana and he told him that's what happens when you get married. He said that he'd be fucked if he got married.
Artie said that this weekend could have been the best weekend of his life so it really sucked that this whole Dana thing was going on. He said that he got a lot of calls about his Letterman appearance, he made good money to do the comedy show and to make an appearance at a club out there. Then he won his Super Bowl bets and things were really going great for him.
Artie said that he told Dana to call him at any time if she wanted to talk but she never did call. He said that the last big conversation they had was with her crying. Artie said that he took pictures with everyone at this club he was appearing at and it was like wall to wall pussy there.
Howard said he feels really bad for Artie because he's kind of in limbo again with this relationship with Dana. Artie said that this is a major cloud that's hanging over what could have been the greatest weekend of his life. He said that he didn't mean for it to sound that way because he still loves Dana.
Gary came in and told Howard how funny it was with Artie out there. He said that they got in at the same time out in Vegas so they were going to hang out but then he heard from Artie that he had all of this stuff going on with his house, Dana, lawyers and more. Gary said Artie told him to just go out and have fun without him. Gary ended up going out with Teddy, Dan the Song Parody Man and JD and no Artie which wasn't what he expected his night to be.
Artie said that he and Gary were going to hang out on Friday and just bullshit over a 3 hour lunch or something. Howard said he just figured out Artie's problem and told him to maybe keep the lunch to an hour.
Gary said he was in the room across from Artie and he ended up getting bored since Artie had his privacy sign up on his door. He said that he called Nick Di Paolo to come over to his room and they ended up watching some movies together. He said that Artie's privacy sign was up on his door all day so that lunch never happened. He said that they went out and did their gig that night and then went to a club that they were appearing at. Artie ended up going to bed again and slept until they had to catch their flight. They never had their 3 hour lunch.
Artie talked about his gambling and how he went to his room and fell asleep and slept right through the lunch time that he wanted to have with Gary. Artie said that he slept right up until 7:30pm and he had to do his show at 8. He said he had to do 2 shows and then go to this club. He said he went to sleep at about 5am and slept until 4:30 in the afternoon. He had dinner and then caught his flight back on Saturday night.
Howard said he finds it odd that Gary is bored all the time. Gary said that he gets up really early in the morning and he really had nothing to do all day. Howard said that he'd be outside and going to lunch and things like that, he'd never be bored. He told him that he really needs to learn chess.
Gary said on Friday night he had this thing to do with Jeff Beacher out there. He said that Beacher has midgets with him all the time and he has them going around with the cars and stuff like that. Artie talked about how they're all crazy alcoholics and being exploited. They have one that's called Mini-Trump and he's got a wig on that looks like Trumps.
Gary said that one of the midgets, who was dressed like an Oompa Loompa, was saying that he was going to knock out Mini Trump. Mini Trump told him he'd take him on but then backed out. Gary said that he just wanted to go to his gig and get it over with but they kept going with the arguments back and forth.
Artie said that there's a midget who looks like Britney Spears and he was attracted to her. He said he'd fuck her if he had the chance. Gary said she really was cute too. He said that it's not obvious in this picture they have of her that she's a midget. Howard said that he could see it when he saw the picture. He said he's pretty sure he couldn't do her.
Howard heard that Dan the Song Parody Man was boring them all with bad stories. Gary said that he really is a nice guy but he's always got stories about getting laid and they have no point at all. He said he thinks that Dan wants to be a stand-up comedian and he tries to slip in his jokes into conversations. He said that it's kind of obvious that he throws in jokes as a test on them.
Ralph said that he finds it odd that Gary can't just shut up for 2 minutes. He said that having Nick Di Paolo up to his room proves that he can't. Gary said that he tried reading and finished a book in 2 hours. He watched some movies and did stuff like that but he still got bored.
Gary said that he tried to get a massage, they were all booked up. He said he wanted to get a shave but they were booked up until Sunday. He said he tried to do stuff but ended up getting bored. Howard said that he can't imagine what fun it is to sit with Nick Di Paolo. Howard said he never gets bored in his life, there aren't enough hours in the day.
Gary told Ralph that he never gets bored because he has no goals in his life. He said that this is a retarded conversation. Artie told Gary that he's just not a Vegas guy and that's a compliment. He said that he's not the type of guy who will get a whore and waste his money with that.
Howard said that Gary should get a hobby or something. Gary said he has one, he reads, but he read his book in 2 hours. He did all of that stuff that he's telling him to do. He said that he was up at 6 in the morning and didn't have to be anywhere until 8 at night. Howard told him to shower or something simple.
Howard said that chess is a mental thing but Gary told him that playing chess is just as trivial as anything else he does.
Sal said that Ronnie was there at the club and he was drinking with his wife. He said that he got her a lap dance and his wife was having fun at the club, even if it was with Ronnie. Sal said that it was about quarter to 2 in the morning and he had to catch a train back home. He said that his wife ended up getting into a cab with some other guys while he was waiting for his friend Chris to get a lap dance. Then a girl showed up and he got a dance from a girl himself.
Sal said he missed the train that he was supposed to catch with his wife. He said he ended up doing some shots and getting more dances and kind of blacked out. Sal said that his friend called him that his wife was puking on the train. Then he realized that it was quarter to 4 in the morning and his wife was probably home already.
Sal said that he got home around 6:15 in the morning and he ended up missing out on the puking and his wife was on the bed with red maraschino cherries on her lips from puking.
Ronnie came in and said he told Sal not to bring his wife to the strip club. He said that he told him that he can't bring 100 people with them to the club but he did it anyway. Sal said that he ended up bringing 6 people with him. They had some interns there too. Sal said that he tried to give his wife a good time and that's what happened.
Ronnie said that Sal's wife was drinking one after the other and she didn't care where her husband was. No one knew where Sal was. Sal said that he knew where he was, that's what counts. Ronnie said Sal's wife was drinking shot after shot as well as the other drinks she was having.
Howard told Sal that he should have spent more time with his wife at the club. Will came in and said that Sal's wife was commenting about the lap dances they were getting and saying things like ''Wait until your girlfriend hears about this...'' and he just wanted her to get the fuck out of there.
Sal said that he called his friend who was with his wife and she was saying that if she had a job, that cocksucker would be out of there. Sal said he asked her about that and she said that she's got two jobs already and she's not going anywhere.
Ronnie said that if Sal had worked on his wife that night, he could have gotten some off of her. Sal said he didn't think he would have gotten laid either way. Ronnie told Sal that his wife was really messed up at one point and told him to take her home but Sal said she was fine. Then he takes her outside and puts her in a cab with some other people.
Ronnie said he called Sal to find out how his wife was doing and found out that he was still in the club. He didn't end up going home with her and he couldn't believe it.
Ralph said he can't believe that Gary was bored in Las Vegas. He said it's the entertainment capital of the world. Gary asked what he's supposed to do at 11 in the morning in that entertainment capital of the world. Ralph told him he could go shopping but Gary cut him off and said that he can't go shopping. They spent a few more minutes on that and then moved on to other things.
Howard asked Robin a few questions about the night and wondered if she held hands in front of his mom. She said she didn't. She doesn't kiss people in front of other people either. She said that they did hold hands during the game though. Artie said that this is big, he's holding hands with her during the game and he's probably never done that before.
Howard said that this is a big story. He asked if she went into the kitchen with the sisters and mom. She said she did that before the game and Howard said he had no idea that it was up to this. This is all very serious. Artie said that he thinks it's a wonderful thing here. He said he wouldn't have even bet his 78 grand on this working out.
Gary asked Robin if she and Jim would do this newlywed game that they have coming up. Robin said she doesn't want to do that. Gary said it would be great. Artie said that he and Dana did really well after just a few months of dating because you get to know a person so well in that time. He said he's jealous that she's got this with Jim. He said that he can only do that with a whore.
Howard said that sounded bad but he read through the letter that the girl, Robyn, sent to them about their date. She seemed to be confirming Benjy's story.
That all led to Robin talking about how Ivy Supersonic is still upset about Benjy going out with this girl. She said that Ivy was sending her all kinds of mail about that over the weekend. Benjy laughed and said that he doesn't want to hurt Ivy. The guys thought he was laughing at her but he just said that he hopes that he's not hurting her.
Artie said that chick Robyn sent him some stuff and gave him a book report on a book that she liked. He said that she's really interesting.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Robin she's so happy for her. She said that this is the year of Robin and Jim and not so much about Howard and Beth. That led to the guys talking about getting Jim on the show and trying to find out if Jim knows Robin as well as Robin knows Jim. Robin wasn't sure if he'd know her as well as she knows him. Howard wants to find out so he told Gary to book it.
Dominic Barbara called in and asked if anyone believes that this woman Robyn is into Benjy. No one believes it but Benjy said that he has a good sense about that stuff and he really thinks that she's into him. He doesn't think that she was just using him to get on the show or anything like that.
Howard told Benjy that Robin is the one whose relationship matters today and he didn't want to talk about his date. He asked Robin more about her time with Jim's family and what went on there.
Richard Christy came in and told Howard about this friend that Jim has who calls himself Crack Finger because he sticks his finger up his asshole and sticks it in people's faces. Robin said that she hadn't even heard about that guy. Howard said Jim probably broke up with that guy when he started dating Robin. Richard said that guy also walked around Rocklahoma and pissed all over the place with his cock hanging out of his gym shorts. He said that this guy also had a giant zit on his forehead when they flew out there and he popped it in the airplane bathroom and got puss all over the mirror. Howard wondered what's up with these guys. He had to go to break a short time later.
Red said that this is the results show for the song of the year poll they ran. Howard played some of the songs that are up for the song of the year. One of them was ''Pet Problems'' and Red explained who the performer was and what the song was about.
Howard also played another song called ''Fuck the Shit'' and Red explained where that one came from and who performed it. Artie got a laugh out of that one when Howard played it. Howard said he thinks that one might win and Artie should let his $78,000 ride on that song.
Red said that people voted a few weeks ago and they've combined the votes with those and some judges votes and they'll announce them tonight on the show. Howard told him it sounds like a fantastic event and it's almost like their own little Grammy's show.
Red said that he went back to 2006 and found out what the winners were up to and played some new songs from those winners. Howard gave Red some plugs for his web site RedPeters.com and his Myspace page at Myspace.com/RedPeters.
Red and Artie talked about the Super Bowl and Red was saying that it was really a depressing loss for him. He said that he felt sick to his stomach over the loss since he's from the New England area. He said it was just awful and the fans are upset up there. The guys spent a few minutes talking about the game and even Red said that it really was a great game even though the Patriots lost. He said he's never felt as bad as he did last night, even when he's had people in his life die.
Artie said he knows the pain he's feeling, he's felt the same thing with games like that. Red said that it was such a let down especially after they didn't lose any games during the season. He didn't have any money on the game like Artie did though.
Howard asked Red if he would take oral from a man if he could change the outcome of that game. Red thought about it for a second and said no. Artie told him that was the right answer. Howard let him go a short time later.
Gary came in and said that Jim was telling someone that Steve is going to kill this relationship if they keep going after them the way they do. Steve said he understands that but they do cover the news there, that's what they do.
Steve said that they have a story about Miss Howard Stern claiming that she was almost kidnapped. He said that they have tape of Shuli speaking to her while she was almost kidnapped. They also have a suicide note from Sal the Stockbroker to Gary on Thursday night. He read the note that Sal had sent and no one is sure who actually sent the note. Sal denies having sent it. Gary said it did spook him but it turns out it wasn't really Sal.
Steve said that they have a story about Bob Levy finally leaving his basement and moving into an apartment. They also have a story about Yucko the Clown and his web site DamnShow.com getting hacked and threatening notes being sent to them about the Tom Cruise parody they had up on the site. Their site is back up and running now.
Howard had Jon Hein come in next with his Wrap Up Show preview. Jon said they'll talk about Artie's big win in the Super Bowl bets. They'll talk about Howard's coverage of the game and also about Artie's Las Vegas weekend. They'll talk about Gary getting bored in Las Vegas and how unthinkable that is. Gary came in and defended himself again since Howard was goofing on him about that. Howard told him that if he's bored, he should just go out and chew on a tree.
Jon said that they'd talk about Jim Cramer's interview today. Howard said he thinks that he was a great interview but he'd only give him a 95 score since he didn't talk about his sex life.
Gary said that he heard from the Howard 100 News team that they're going to back off of them a little bit. He said that they actually got a note from someone who said that they saw Robin and Jim at Jim's brother's house, but they held off on reporting that. Robin couldn't believe that and said she was shocked that they've turned so many people on them.
Ralph called in and went off on Gary again so Gary went off on Ralph. He said that Ralph is Sam Simon's bitch and went off on him about some other stuff as well. Ralph said that Gary should have had his computer with him and could have watched his Slingbox stuff on there instead of sitting in his room waiting for Artie like a girl. That led to Howard doing his impression of Gary and making some phony journal entries about his waiting for Artie.
Howard said that at least Ralph has some passions in his life. Gary said that Ralph hasn't achieved anything in his life though. Howard said that doesn't matter, he's got a passion for doing something and he doesn't have a problem sitting home and doing stuff alone. He doesn't get bored doing that. Gary said that he got bored once and all of a sudden he's bored in his whole life. He told Howard that playing chess to him is no different than playing Tidily Winks or Pinochle.
Gary said that just because Howard likes Chess, it's the best game in the world. IF he wasn't into it he'd be saying it sucks. Howard told Gary to go get a hobby. That led to Fred playing a clip of Jack Nicholson from the movie ''Carnal Knowledge'' where he's yelling at his wife to ''GET A JOB!''
Jon wrapped up his Wrap Up Show preview and ran down a bunch of stuff they'd be covering today. Then Howard had Robin get into her news.
Robin started her news off with a story about an AskMen.com poll about the most desirable women of 2008. She ran down the names in the top 5. Jessica Alba, Eva Mendes, Kate Beckinsale, Alasandra Ambrosia and Katherine Heigel were in that top 5. Howard and Artie commented on each of the women. Howard said that he doesn't get Jessica Alba at all, especially now that she's pregnant. They talked about some other hot chicks like Carmen Electra and Howard thinks that she looks good but Artie said she's lost it as far as he's concerned.
Robin read a story about 50 Cent making Paris Hilton cry at some party out in Arizona over the weekend. That led to the guys talking about Tom Brady and his girlfriend Giselle Bundchen. they were wondering if Brady is going to break up with her now that he's lost the big game. They spent a short time going over that. Robin had some clips from the big game that she had Howard playing.
Howard and Artie asked Robin more about hanging out with Jim Florentine and his family. They wanted to know if she had to take a dump at the house or anything like that. She laughed and said that was crazy, she didn't have to go while she was there. Artie said that it's the worst when you first find out that your girlfriend is shitting somewhere.
Robin had Howard play some more clips from the game. She played one of Alicia Keyes performance from the pre-show. She had some clips of Peyton Manning talking about his brother Eli. They had to take a commercial break around 9:55am.
After the break we heard a prank call that Sal and Richard made to Jonah Falcon's TV show ''Talkin' Yankees.'' Howard came back and said that they're looking for people to play Win Fred's Money. If you have a girl that would be willing to get naked if you lose, just email them at contest@howardstern.com.
Howard played some audio he had of 50 Cent goofing on Paris Hilton at this party over the weekend. He said that it wasn't very clear though. He thinks that he said that she looked stupid or something but he wasn't sure exactly what it was. He said that's why he was debating playing it.
Robin got back into her news and read a story about a senator who is introducing legislation that would allow churches to play the Super Bowl on their big screen TVs. The NFL has been sending churches letters telling them that they can't show the game to big crowds.
Howard read through some e-mail during the news. He said that he got a lot of stuff about Vinnie Favale's fuck up from last week. Some people wrote in about the Mars Attacks clips that Fred has been using for Eric the Midget. There was some feedback about Nicky Barnes and how boring his interview was. There was some mail about Jay Leno and how they don't believe that he's writing his jokes on his own. Some people wrote in about how great Yucko was last week when he was in. Howard read through a couple of those e-mails.
Howard said that JD even got some positive feedback. He said that someone liked his pocket pussy story that he told last week. The guys spent some time talking about that story and how JD admitted to having taken that from the glom box recently.
Robin read a story about Wesley Snipes and his tax problems. Howard played some clips about that story. She also had a story about Oprah Winfrey coming out in support of Barack Obama. She claims that it has nothing to do with him being black, it's because ''he's brilliant!'' Howard said he's really getting turned off to her when she does stuff like that.
Robin played some clips of Stevie Wonder coming out in support of Barack. Fred threw some clips of Mark the Bagger saying ''Yes'' over and over again while that was being played. There were also some clips of Stevie Wonder singing a song about Barack Obama so Fred threw in some clips of Robin making some weird noises while that was playing.
There were some clips of Snoop Dogg talking about how he's going to back Hillary Clinton. After playing some audio of Snoop getting all political, Artie asked ''what happened to the guy who used to beat bitches with his sneaker?'' They had to take another break a short time later, around 10:25am.
After the break Howard came right back and had Robin get back into her news. She read a story about the upcoming Oscar awards and what people are picking to win Best Picture. Howard interrupted that with a call from Sour Shoes who was doing his Tom Petty impression and a few others. Howard let him sing for a few seconds before hanging up on him.
Artie said that he knows he's in trouble because he's already looking at betting on basketball. Howard thought that Artie was going to invest after talking to Jim Cramer this morning.
Ralph called in and talked about how bad he thought ''No Country for Old Men'' was. He also said that he thinks that the movie ''Into the Wild'' is another awful one and he couldn't wait for that kid to die in the movie. They went over those real quick before Howard cut everyone off and had Robin get back to her news.
Robin said that the new Hannah Montana movie made over $20 million at the box office this weekend. She ran down some of the other movies and what they pulled in this weekend. They were all pretty low because of the Super Bowl.
Howard and Gary went back and forth at each other about the Las Vegas story Gary told earlier. He was goofing on Howard about his ''manly'' game of chess. Howard said it's not about being manly, it's about crushing a man's mind. Gary said that Howard is always talking about his chess playing and he's trying to impress them with that stuff. Howard said that he talks about it maybe once a day. Gary said that's what he considers constantly.
Howard told Gary to just find something that he can be passionate about. He doesn't have to play chess, but find something. Howard made fun of Gary waiting for Artie to show up for his lunch and Artie said that he loves that this became the running theme of the show even with all of the other stuff going on.
Howard said that if he'd known that Gary was going to get so bored, he would have gotten him a coloring book. Gary said that just because he got bored doesn't mean that he doesn't have hobbies. He said he doesn't have endless time to do stuff like Howard was making it seem. Howard said that he should have gone down and done the dishes at the Luxor while he was there. They ended the show a short time later, around 10:40am.
Jon asked Artie if he knew that Gary was scorned as well. That led back them into the story about Gary getting bored out in Vegas. Gary said that he likes how Artie comes on this show and crowbars his act into the show. Artie didn't think he was doing that but Gary pointed out one of his jokes that he'd just told that was similar to one that he told on Saturday night.
Artie and Gary talked about how Howard will pick anyone apart who disagrees with him. They talked about Ralph calling in about the ''No Country for Old Men'' and how he had Howard bashing him as soon as he said he didn't like it.
Artie said that he was on his way to his gig at the Gotham comedy club when he heard Jon Hein and Will Murray talking about how the Patriots were probably going to blow out the Giants. They were wrong and he didn't listen to their prediction.
Jon said that he knows he was wrong, he predicted the Patriots would win and he admits he was wrong about that. Artie said that he called it and came much closer to the score than Jon did. They ended up talking about the game and some of the commercials that aired during the game.
Artie told a story about doing stand up back in 1995 at this place called Luna Lounge that led to him getting his gig on Mad TV. He said that as he was about to go on, Robert Klein walked in and bumped him and kind of bombed. He said that he was going to try and make a reference that would give people belly laughs. He said that he went up and said he was going to do the act unless there was someone else from ''Hooper'' who wanted to get up there and tell some jokes. He said that he got no reaction at all, no one knew that Klein was in Hooper or what Hooper was.
Gary told a story about the guy who used to handle Jan Michael Vincent and how he used to call him Jan Michael Vodka. That led to Artie telling a story about going to this bar where he used to go drink and watch games. He said there was this kid who worked at this liquor store that he used to go to and his mother didn't know about it. Then one day the guy walked out of the store when they were driving by and the guy points at him and says ''Tequila man!'' His mother asked if that was his nickname and couldn't believe that's what they called him.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked Gary why he goes to the chess ting when he's goofing on Howard. Gary said it's an easy thing to go after him about. He said that it's funny saying that it's his passion. Gary said that Levy said that he got a bunch of jokes from Bob Levy but it was getting too late to tell them. He said that one of them was something like ''I'd rather be a bored fag than play chess.''
Benjy asked Artie if he plans on getting that money in the next 6 months. Artie said that he's pretty sure that something will be worked out in the next 6 months. Artie said that there are a lot of guys who will connect bets but he hates doing that. He said that some guys will bet the over and under and they end up losing. He said he hates doing that and that helped him win.
Gary was talking about the Tom Brady clip they played this morning and how the whole team must be in shock after losing. They were very cocky about how they were going to win. That led to the guys talking about how Belichick ran off the field even though the game wasn't quite over with. Gary said that he had already congratulated the Giants coach so it wasn't that big of a deal. Artie said that it was a shitty move in his opinion.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that he gets why Gary was so bored out there in Vegas, he understands it. He said that you can't find anything out there shopping than you would in Connecticut. Gary said that he did walk around the mall out there but it was only because they were so bored. He said that he and Teddy were there walking around when he was trying to get a shave at a place in the mall. Artie said that it's fun city but it's the whores and gambling that most people are into. He said that it's easy to get bored out there.
Ralph called in and brought up Belichick saying that there was only 1 second left in the game and it was no big deal. He said that you don't come back in after walking off either. Artie said that it wasn't a huge issue but it kind of irked him.
The guys were also talking about Tiki Barber and how he was on one of the pre-game shows doing a cooking thing. The guys talked about that and Artie said that he heard that the Giants really hated Tiki. He said he met him a couple of times and he seemed okay but he's heard stories about him that makes it sound like they really hated the guy.
Ralph asked Artie what he won gambling on the game. Artie said that he basically let $35,000 ride and over the past 4 weeks he's up $78,000. He said he didn't want to get into the specifics on the whole thing. Artie was talking about the different bets he was doing and how he was doing a straight money line on that game. He talked about some of his past bets. Ralph said that he didn't want to talk about what he bet on the game but he did bet.
The guys talked about some past games that they remembered. Gary and Artie talked about one year when they were all out in Vegas at the same time even before Artie was officially part of the show.
Artie told a story about the movie ''The Bachelor'' and how he was booked to do Conan and Ferguson's show. He remembers his publicist calling the Stern show trying to get him booked and they said they didn't want him coming in alone. He was bumped from the Stern show of all places. Gary told Artie that they have a few levels of ''no'' there and he's pretty sure that they would have held off a day or so to tell her no. that was back in November of 1999 when he was trying to get booked to do the show. Gary said that they didn't know that much about Artie and that was before Jackie left so they were less inclined to have comedians on the show.
Artie asked Gary about being pitched to sit in the chair there on the show. Gary said that was something that came down pretty quick because they were looking for someone to sit in and they already liked Artie from his previous appearances. He said that he and Howard agreed that he was good on the show. Gary said that he and Howard both thought it was a great idea.
Ralph asked the guys if they were kind of bummed out that Tom Brady didn't play like Tom Brady in the game yesterday. Gary said that he did think that the first half of the game was boring but it depends on who you listen to, the Giants fans would say that Brady wasn't himself because the Giants defense was so good. Jon said that things could have been different if the coin toss was different.
Artie said he'd have to wait a few weeks to think about that Brady question, he's too excited about the Giants win. Ralph said that he wished he had that same feeling that Artie has, he isn't experiencing that. He said that he likes some other teams and they just can't get into the Super Bowl.
Gary wondered where this game will stand in the history of football. Artie said that it's the second most exciting Super Bowl to ever be played with the Giants. Jon said that it will be memorable but it won't be considered one of the best. Artie asked what the best is then. He said that there were some other games that were good but what was the best. Jon ran down a couple and argued with Artie over what he thought was better than this game.
Gary said he remembers saying that he couldn't believe that the Giants pulled it off yesterday. He said those were the first words out of his mouth. Ralph said that the play where the guy caught the ball on his helmet was really great.
Artie talked about some other games that he thought were great. The guys talked about those games and both Gary and Artie were talking about the family that owns the Patriots since they've hung out with them before. They shared a couple of stories about that before Jon had them move on to other things.
Gary was saying that he didn't know how much Howard liked the Giants but it's obvious that he does like them more than he thought. Artie said that Howard's agent, Don Buchwald, is a really big fan too. He said that maybe that's how Howard gets into that stuff even more.
Gary said that he was in Phoenix flying home yesterday and he even had a ticket to the game that he could have used. He said that he could have flown out on a private jet but he probably wouldn't have made it back home in time to do the show this morning. He wouldn't even think about asking Howard for the day off for something like that. He said that Howard didn't get why he'd even want to go to the game out there when he could watch it at home.
Artie said that he can't do that either because he has to be on the show Monday morning. Gary said that his son wants to have a Super Bowl party next year but they were thinking about how they could kick everyone out so he could go to bed at a decent hour.
The woman, Dee, said that she doesn't like that Robin gets away with so much on the show. That led to the guys talking about how far the news team has gone to cover Robin and Jim's relationship. Gary said that he thinks that Robin has taken a lot of hits on the show over the whole relationship and it might be good that the news team is backing off of their relationship a little bit. Gary said that he loves both Robin and Jim and he's happy for them. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon brought up Jim Cramer's interview and said that he turned out to be a good guest. Gary said that he really did turn out to be a great guest but he stood up the whole interview. He said that he's got a lot of energy. He was also talking about how Jim ended up being interviewed by Lisa G after the interview and they were talking about the divorce money that he was talking about.
Benjy said that he's not really into the stock market stuff but the interview turned out to be good because the guy was so fun.
Jon played a clip from the interview where Jim was talking about how the stock market gets him off. Jon went to the phones after that and one guy suggested that Gary do pranks as a hobby. He said that he could have called in a fake death for Artie while he was out in Vegas too. Gary said that's not really his thing to do though.
Jon asked Gary about hanging out with Artie in Vegas and what was going on there. Gary said that he saw Louie Anderson out there and it turns out he's a big fan of Artie's. He said that hanging out back stage isn't all that interesting, he'd rather hear Artie's act out on stage.
Gary was also talking about the club that they went to for their appearance and how bad the music was there. He said he can't stand that pulsating music that they play at some of those places.
Jon asked Gary about Sal and the story he told about going out with his wife to a strip club. Gary said that Sal took her to the club but he wasn't hanging out with her so that was kind of odd. He said that he doesn't seem to have an awareness of what she's up to.
Benjy said that he didn't think that anything he did, until the end, was that big of a deal. He said that Sal's wife drinking with Ronnie was no big deal. Gary thinks that it's odd that Sal talks about wanting to be together with his wife more but then he takes her out and doesn't hang out with her.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the Jim Cramer interview was really good and he found out a lot of stuff he didn't know about. He talked about Jim being separated and that he had a gambling problem as a couple of examples.
Sal came in and said that the stock market is all a bunch of bullshit. He said that it's all about bullshitting people. The guys asked him if that's the case, then how did Jim make the money he made in the past. Sal said that the market isn't all bullshit and he must have made it hyping up the stuff that he believes in. Gary asked Sal why he didn't do as well as Jim did. Sal said that he did pretty well for himself when he was doing it but Jim really knows what he's doing. He has a lot of passion behind him and that's why he does so well. Sal said that you have to check the charts and do a lot of investigation into that stuff before you invest.
Another caller said that Jim was very good on the show. That guy was also talking about the merger and how screwed up this government seems to be. He wanted to know what else Howard could do about it to get people to notice what's going on. Gary said he's not sure there's much else he could do. He said that the lawyers are doing what they can and now they just have to sit and wait.
Gary said that he remembers the year that Janet Jackson's boob was shown during the Super Bowl and how that changed his life forever. That one incident changed his life forever because it all led to them being censored even more than they were before and how Howard had to get out of terrestrial radio after that.
Gary asked Sal if he's okay with the people who took his wife home. Sal said that they're a couple had he trusts them. He said he actually asked the guy if he could make out with his wife but that didn't happen. He said that they're just the typical married couple.
Jon took a call and the guy asked Gary about Howard goofing on him today. Gary said that it's just Howard needling you until he finds something that bothers you and he latches on to that and won't let go. He said that some of it is his fault because he brings it on himself.
Sal asked Gary if he put on some porn and beat off to pass some time in Vegas. Gary said that he did do that but that was only 15 minutes. It didn't knock him out like Sal said it does to him.
A woman called in and said that Howard has been acting very annoying lately and she doesn't get why he pretends that he doesn't know about stuff before they talk about it on the air. She said that he did that with Artie's story. Gary said that he does that to let things play out on the show and he does that a lot.
Another caller said that Jim Cramer is a guy who talks about stocks and he makes them go up and down because he has such an influence doing that show he does. He said that he sees it the morning after he'll talk about certain stocks. He said that they'll move up and down based on what he says.
Sal said that this guy is right and if you looked at his track record, you'd probably find that he's wrong just as much as he is right.
Jon asked Sal if he misses the stock brokering thing. Sal said that he does kind of miss it but he doesn't miss losing money for people. He said that he once had a guy put a lot of money into Timberland boots and they were supposed to do really well but then the stock dropped by 8 points and the guy had to let him go. They had to wrap up a short time later. Everyone got in their plugs and they ended the show.
Howard started off the show talking about the Giants coverage in the paper today. He said he's actually getting emotional today after reading some of the stuff. He said he doesn't usually get that way. He said that he was reading about Bill Belichick and what a shitty move it was for him to leave the field before the game was officially over. The guys ended up talking about the pronunciation of his name and how people call him Beli-check when it's actually spelled Belichick.
Howard said that his hair stylist was asking him about the ticker tape parade that they're getting today and he wasn't sure if this was the first time they got one. Artie said that the last one may have been canceled because we were at war the last time they won.
Howard talked about some of the stuff that's being said about Eli Manning and Tom Brady's battles and how this is kind of like Revenge of the Nerds.
Howard said that Eli Manning is going to be getting some endorsements deals after this win. He's already did a couple of those endorsements the night of the game. Artie said that he actually had to fly down to Disney World after he took that deal so he could walk down the main street there.
Howard said that Manning was supposed to be on Letterman last night because he wasn't able to fly out on time. Artie said that he was talking to Vinnie Favale last night about that and he was telling him about Eli not being able to fly out. Howard sounded surprised about Artie talking to Vinnie after what he did to him last week. Artie said he's a good guy, he doesn't have a problem with him.
Gary came in and told the guys why the Giants never got a ticker tape parade. He said that they just held the celebration in New Jersey instead. Gary went to the first one and said it was kind of stupid because they just walked around Giants Stadium for a while.
Howard said he was reading that Peyton Manning has been making more money than even Tom Brady was making in endorsement deals. Artie said that's because he's like the all American guy. Howard was reading about the incredible escape that Eli Manning made when he was in a jam during the game. Eli explained what happened in one article so Howard read through that. Eli never even saw the catch after he threw the ball. Howard said that they always have to give credit to the rest of the team.
Howard read about this guy who signed Eli to the team and how he had said something about Manning being able to come through if he was the guy they thought he was, right before the team made their 83 yard drive to score. Howard said that actually got him really emotional when he read it.
Howard talked about how the Giants head coach, Coughlin, was close to being fired but he asked to have one more chance and he pulled through. He said that now he's in an incredible bargaining position and he will probably sign on for even more time with them.
Howard and the guys talked about how the Giants usually take a year off after a win and may not make it back into the Super Bowl next year.
Artie said that they were talking about Tiki Barber on the Wrap Up Show yesterday and how he's no longer on the team and how the team didn't like him. Now that he's gone, the team has turned around and now they've won the big game. Artie said that he worked with Tiki one time when a sponsor asked him to field some questions from the fans. He said that Tiki was there and was really smooth answering questions.
Howard said that Jeremy Shocky wasn't there at the game on the bench while the rest of the team was. He said that they're saying that he's going to need a big attitude adjustment after this because they pulled out this win without him. Robin said she heard that it may have actually helped the team that he wasn't there on the field. Artie said that's what they say about Tiki too.
Robin said she heard that someone from Obama's camp had visited one of her friends. That guy was trying to push Obama on her so it must really help out the campaigns. Howard said that by the time these guys become President they must be worn out.
Howard said that he didn't want to make people jealous but Obama came to his apartment and cooked him breakfast. Hillary came and drove him to work today since Ronnie wasn't available. He said that the first person to give him a happy ending will get his vote. He also said that Hillary's car actually had heat, unlike his limo.
Gary came in and said that Danny Glass is the guy who is putting the song out. He said there are 5 versions of the song and this is one that they can play on satellite. There are others that they'll be able to play on regular radio. This one has a lot of cursing and lyrics about guy's dicks.
Howard said there's another song that he really likes. It was a song that Sarah Silverman performed for Jimmy Kimmel's show. He said that in the past Jimmy has jokingly said that they had to apologize because they ran out of time they weren't able to get to Matt Damon. That led to Sarah singing a song about ''fucking Matt Damon'' that she played for Jimmy on his birthday. Howard said the visual is very funny and you have to see it. She actually has Matt singing with her in the music video she made.
Robin said she's not sure what Jim Florentine is going to do for her. Howard aid that he's done with the big gift thing at this point. He wants to bring it back to normal now.
Howard said that he's been watching this ''My Fair Brady'' show and the chick on the show did a lesbian shoot and ended up giving her guy the pictures as a gift and he wasn't too thrilled with that. Howard said he'd be into a gift like that.
Howard said that Ralph left him a message about Gary getting bored out in Vegas. He said that Gary hates when the show spills over into his regular life. He said that nothing annoys Gary more than when people carry on like that off the air. He didn't save the message though.
The caller asked Fred about Valentine's day and Fred said that he should be able to get away with a nice dinner or something like that. Howard said he can't do that himself because he goes out to dinner with her a lot already. He said that every Sunday she makes turkey Chili or something like that. She also cooks Monday through Wednesday and then Thursday, Friday and Saturday they go out to eat. Robin said that he could rent a suite or something like that and go stay somewhere other than the apartment. Howard said he's got a great suite already and they don't need to stay somewhere else in the city.
Robin told Howard to get some musicians, a chef and stuff like that to make it special. Howard said that would be a horrible night for him. He wouldn't want to do that in a hotel or in his apartment. Artie said that he got engaged last year so he already blew his load. Now things can go downhill from there.
Howard said he'd like to get back to a gift certificate for a manicure or something. Artie said that he could do that but send her to Paris for the manicure. Robin threw in the Paris part of that. Howard said he could send her to Indian or something.
Howard said he's got a friend who tells his woman that his time is more important than anything and she loves when she gets the gifts like that. Fred did his Jim Florentine impression and had some fun goofing around with what he might do on Valentine's day. He said that he's going to be out in Seattle around that time so he and Robin will go to the Starbucks museum and do some enema tasting out there.
The caller asked Artie what's going on with him and Dana. Artie said that he and Dana actually spoke last night and things were pretty civil. He said that he spent about 15 minutes on the phone with her. Howard asked him if he thinks that he can salvage the relationship. Artie said that there's still this grey area there and she wants him to go through therapy and stuff. Howard said she's right about that. Artie aids that he's never going to go and he wants to know how long he'd have to go if he started. Howard said that he has to start before he can complain about going.
Artie said that Dana is always on the web and he asked her if she was in a chubby chaser chat room when she said she was on the web talking to some people. He said that made her laugh. Howard said that Dana is thinking to herself that if this is ever going to be real, she can't be with a guy who is always thinking about killing himself or going out to do drugs. He said that she's got a legitimate concern there.
Howard said that he has a lot of people who talk to him about Artie and they're very concerned about him. He said that this one guy thinks that Artie believes that if he goes to therapy, he's going to stop being funny or something and that's why he won't go.
Artie said that Dana has been trying to get him to go to therapy for 2 years now and it's just not going to happen. Howard told him that he has to do it for her if he really loves her. He said that he has tried to go but he ends up going for 2 hours and then he runs out of stuff to say. He said that he does 2 hours in the first session and then runs out of stuff to talk about. Howard said that if you're going to the right guy, he'll be able to bring stuff out that you don't even think about usually.
Howard said that he got into a whole thing in therapy about his mother. He said that after she called in she was upset about the things he said about her being angry. He said he was talking to his therapist about how his mother would come in and look at his asshole to see the pinworms he had. He said that he would never do that to one of his kids. He said that he would bring his kid to the doctor and not just inspect their ass. He said that doctors don't just tell parents to look at their kid's asshole to see if there are worms sticking out.
Howard said that he's got 3 kids and he'd never in his right mind sneak into their room and pull their pants down to look at them with a flashlight. He said that if the kid wakes up, they're going to freak out.
Howard said he'd just bring the kid to the doctor and let him diagnose. Robin aside that this is what they did back in those days. Howard said his shrink is an MD and he said he's never heard of such a thing in his life. Fred said that's what they did back in those days though, they'd just do what the doctors told them to do. Howard said that it's an invasion if you ask him.
At one point Robin told Artie that she got an e-mail from someone who said that they were checking Artie out and he looks like a fat piece of shit these days. Artie kept wondering who would say that about him. Robin said it's a friend of hers that Artie doesn't know. Artie said that's pretty harsh to say that about him.
Howard wondered if Artie would be willing to get up on the scale today since he hadn't been weighed in months. Artie said there's no way he's getting on the scale.
Howard said that he just got a note from the guys saying that every major medical web site out there suggests a flashlight on the ass. He said that he still doesn't think that's right though. Artie said that kids could wake up and think that they're being molested or something.
Robin told Artie that her friend didn't actually say he looked like a fat piece of shit, he just said that he ''looks like shit.'' Artie didn't seem to find that any easier to take.
Howard asked Eric how his girlfriend is doing. Eric said she's good and they're working on meeting up around Valentine's day. Howard asked Eric to give Artie some advice on getting Dana back. JD came in and said that he was supposed to do a show where he gave relationship advice but it didn't happen. Eric said that he had to push that back. Howard said that he's not even in a relationship though. Eric said that he is in one but Robin said it's only been 2 weeks.
Howard played a bunch of the ''Eric the...'' clips that they created about him. Eric said that it's not getting under his skin anymore but Artie said that's bullshit. Howard figured that was reverse psychology that he was using and it still bothered him.
Eric told Artie that he has to stop being a drug addict and just straighten up and he'll get Dana back. Artie said that's easier said than done.
Howard noticed that Eric's face looked very blotchy today. They were talking about how odd he looked at Artie said that it looked like someone put glasses on a tangerine. He also told Eric that he's been using his masturbation technique of just fucking the bed. He asked Eric for some advice on that. Eric didn't want to comment on that.
Howard asked him if he's masturbated thinking about his girlfriend. Eric thought for a second and said ''yes'' to that. Howard asked him if he kisses his pillow pretending to make out with his girlfriend. Eric paused again and asked why he's trying to get him into that. Artie said that he pretends to make out with the pillow and actually names the pillow. He said he named the one up in Syracuse ''Lauren'' since that was the chick that he was into up there.
Howard asked Eric if that's what he does. Eric said ''I guess...'' Howard said people should call into Eric's show and ask questions like that. Eric said that there are no phones, you have to ask in the chat room there.
Howard asked Eric who washes his sheets trying to find out where his man goo goes. Eric said he doesn't do that on the sheets and he didn't want to say where he does go. Howard said that he must have to wash his PJ pants every time he does that. Eric said he doesn't have to wash them every time, he finishes in his underwear. Howard asked him who washes his underwear then. Eric said that his roommate does it with all of his other laundry.
Howard said that the poor guy could stick his hand in there and feel something wet. That led to Fred doing an impression of Eric and talking about the underwear being full of his load and turning to concrete. Howard said that he used to leave tissue on his pens and it would get glued to it. He asked Eric if he's ever glued his penis to his underpants with his load. Eric said that he hasn't.
Howard asked Eric how he keeps his penis from getting glued to his underpants. Eric said he just does. He didn't want to give details, he doesn't get why it's so important. Howard said that he finally found something that he's an expert at and he wants to know more, so that's why it's so important.
Howard said that if he came in his underpants he'd take them off and change. He asked Eric if he has a tiny load because he's a little person. Eric said that is the case. He asked them to shut the fuck up about this. The guys said that maybe they could call him Eric The Little Load after they found out that he has small loads.
Howard asked Eric if he's ever seen a porno with a regular guy's load being shown and if his loads are smaller than that. Richard came in and told Howard he's seen some midget porn and their loads are pretty big, just like a regular guy. Eric said that he doesn't watch movies like that so he doesn't know.
Howard said Eric has to have seen loads like that in porno but he's just embarrassed. Richard also said that he doesn't think that it's that strange to leave his loads in his underpants. He said he does that all the time and likes peeling his underpants off of his penis. Howard asked Eric if that's why he leaves his load in there. Eric said he doesn't enjoy that at all.
Richard said that maybe he lets his load dry up in his belly button or something. Eric told Richard that that's to what he does and called him a hick. Howard said that ti's vile that his roommate has to clean his underwear like that. Robin asked him if he does it every night but Eric didn't want to answer that.
Howard asked Eric when he last did it but he said he didn't remember. Richard asked Eric to shoot a load into a soda bottle so they could see the size of the load. Howard said they probably don't need something that big to see the size of the load. Maybe a thimble.
Howard asked Eric about his face being blotchy and why that was. Eric wasn't sure and he said it's not zits like they were saying they were. Howard said that he looks like Benjy with the blotchiness. Richard said that it could be from masturbating too much. Howard told Eric to take his hand away from his face because that might be causing the redness. Eric said that wasn't the reason either. He said there weren't any bumps up there but Fred said that his head looks like a frog's back. Richard thinks it could be his cum that he has on his sheets causing the break out on his face.
Richard suggested that they send Eric to a spa or something. Howard said that he'd love to do a show with Eric talking about masturbation. Eric didn't seem interested in that. Eric got in a plug for his American Idol show that he does at 8pm Pacific time. Artie said that he was going to google ''mind numbingly dull'' and see if his show comes up.
Howard did some more of the ''Eric the...'' clips and said that's what Eric wants to be called on his show. He told Eric he hopes that the technical problems are worked out this week. Robin said she actually likes those problems. Howard played some clips from last week where they had some echo problems. The clip was one where Eric was talking about his Myspace page saying that he was single but he had to change it. Eric said that he's changed it since then so Robin joked that he changed it from ''single'' to ''duped.'' Eric said that's not what's going on there and he hasn't been duped.
Howard wrapped up with Eric and was about to say goodbye to him but Gary told him that if you search for ''Mind Numbingly Dull'' at google.com you do get a couple of mentions of Eric at the 3rd and 4th positions. Howard thought that was kind of funny.
Howard was going to let Eric go again but he said that he heard that Eric has no sense of humor over there in his chat. They boot people out for very simple questions. JD said that they'll boot people just for asking questions about masturbating or anything like that. Eric said that they have dumbass people from SFN and Syndicate people asking questions in there so that's why they boot them. Howard didn't know what he meant by Syndicate so Eric told him that Shuli knows them and they do stupid things. He said that this guy Dino runs the site and they do all kinds of stupid shit. Howard still didn't know what he meant and Gary asked what he was talking about.
Gary said that he got sucked into this over the weekend. He said that Eric got all freaked out over them this weekend and there's something going on with the JFSC site and SFN. They were asking about why they can support SFN when they post personal information about Eric and Johnny Fratto. Mutt took that stuff down right away and he wasn't letting it happen, it's just hard to monitor that stuff.
Gary said that Mutt and Johnny Fratto are at each other's throats lately but it's not clear why. Eric said that the Syndicate people are ripping the show off and posting Howard TV stuff on the web. Howard said if that's the case then he's going to be against them too. Gary said that they're looking into that and they haven't found anything yet. Eric is going by what his people tell him.
Gary said that there are a lot of negative e-mails flying between these people. Howard said that he has nothing to do with the Syndicate, SFN or anyone else like that. Gary said that they claim that by having Mutt working there they are endorsing SFN.
Howard said that Eric once posted their personal information on the web so maybe they shouldn't have them on. He was angry about something and he posted Gary's phone number and e-mail address. He was upset about them not getting back to them about the American Idol show that he was supposed to do. Howard told Eric that he's no better than the Syndicate if that's what he does.
Tim Sabean came in and said that Revenge is a bitch and shit happens. He said that Eric posted his information on the web one time and payback is a bitch.
Mutt called in and said that Johnny Jr. is the one who had his information posted on the web but it was well known that it was on his web site. Mutt was also saying that the Syndicate people don't post anything from the show as far as he knows. He said that he's trying to work with everyone to control people but it's not easy. He said that Fratto wanted to buy his web site at one time but he didn't want to sell so now he wants to take him down. He claimed that Johnny wanted to buy the site for a huge amount of money and he didn't want to sell so nothing ever came out of that.
Mutt said that he's not part of this Syndicate stuff. He said that he doesn't thinks that the mob stuff on the web is all that interesting. He also said that this guy Dino guy started this show on the web and then some of the people split off from that group and went over to the JFSC thing. He said that he's turned into one of the bad people because of this.
Howard saw that there was a scroll on Eric's screen where they said that Mutt was lying. Mutt said that no one is stealing any shit from the show. He said that he knows they had a screen shot from back in October and that was all he ever saw.
Howard let Mutt go and had to wrap up with Eric a short time later but he saw that he had Hook Nose Mike on the phone. Hook Nose is part of this Syndicate thing and he said that they split off from the Syndicate and now Fratto's people had them shut down this week. Eric said that he was never part of the Syndicate but Mike said that he used to visit their feeds on Stickam. Howard said that he's fascinated by all of this but Artie had zoned out.
hook Nose said that he actually took down Eric one night when he did his show at the same time as Eric. Eric told him to get on tonight and he'll take him down this time. Howard had to wrap up a short time later.
Lisa said that she spoke to some people about the commercial that Howard liked during the Super Bowl. She said that it was the one about Chester Pitts who was an oboe player before someone found him working in a grocery store. She spoke to Chester and he said he liked that Howard enjoyed the commercial.
Lisa also spoke to Leroy Neiman, who painted a portrait of Howard years ago, and he's 87 years old now and still remembers that painting. Howard said he still runs into him out on the street once in a while and says hello to him. Howard wrapped up with Lisa after that.
Andrea claims that she pulled her gun out and the guys still didn't want to let them go. She said that there were two guys who wanted to hold them hostage and she had to put a stop to it. She said that Shuli may have saved her life by calling her because she had to answer the phone.
Howard said he's not sure about that story and he doesn't know how the phone call saved her life. Robin said she was following the story and she was saying that she fell asleep during the kidnapping or something like that. Howard had zoned out so he asked Robin to listen to more of it and tell him what's going on.
Robin said that Andrea had fallen asleep and her friend Christie had woken her up and told her they needed to get away so they were able to do that once she woke up.
Howard had some new Larry King clips that the guys edited to make him say stuff that he didn't actually say. He had him saying things like ''I have AIDS and love it.'' He had a bunch of longer ones about shooting his loads in guys and sucking it up and things like that as well. He had some pretty long clips that are obviously edited clips. One of them went so long that he thought it was the longest one they had ever done. He played a clip of Ed McMahon that was just about as long as that Larry King clip.
Howard said that Kevin is kind of into this Jackass-type stunt stuff and tries to sell tapes of the stuff they do. Kevin said that he tried selling tapes but they didn't sell all that well.
Howard said that Kevin had his taint pierced one time but he doesn't find Kevin to be all that much of a funny kind of guy. Kevin said that he's always been a fucked up kind of guy and his friends are the ones who told him to get into this stuff.
Howard played a clip of Kevin getting his taint pierced and watched some of what was going on. Howard said that it wasn't really funny, it was more sick than funny. He said that it was really hard core stuff.
Artie said that when you see those Jackass guys doing stunts, it's funny. The stuff he was watching wasn't funny. He said that he likes Kevin a lot but this just wasn't funny.
Howard said that the Jackass stuff has inspired people to do some really crazy stuff. Kevin said that the needle that they used was much thicker than a needle that they'd usually use.
Howard read some notes about some of the other stuff Kevin has done. He did acid one time and drove his car which Howard said wasn't funny and it was very dangerous. Kevin said that was when he was 18 or so and he knows that was dumb.
The guys thought that Kevin was a rich kid because he went to a boarding school but Kevin said that he went there because he had a learning disability.
Howard read that one of Kevin's friends went over to his other friend's house to jerk off on the face of his buddy's mother's face. They didn't tape that one. Kevin also said that they tricked a guy into drinking a bottle of piss when he thought it was beer. He also stuck his nuts in a fan one time to get the guy to drink the piss. Kevin said he does this stuff because it's fun. He said he's been doing it since he was 16 years old.
Howard told Kevin that sticking his nuts in a fan is crazy and asked him to explain that to him. Kevin said that people do crazy stuff all the time for no reason.
Howard read about some other things that he and his friends have done. He said that they once threw a personal alarm into a restaurant and his friend ''accidentally'' yelled out ''Grenade!'' when they tossed it into the restaurant and they had to evacuate. Howard asked him why he does this stuff and what he's going to do if he loses his balls some day. He wanted to know if it's worth the risk. Kevin said that it is worth the risk.
Robin said that Kevin isn't a Jackass type because he has a job. There are people out there like Bam Margera who could never hold down a 9-5 job like Kevin could.
Richard and Sal came in and asked Kevin if he'd eat M&Ms out of Sal's pouch. Kevin heard the plan for how they were going to do it and he said that he'd do it no problem. Howard said he didn't want to see him do it and asked him why he would do it. Kevin said ''I dunno, why not?'' Howard told Sal to put the M&Ms in his pouch and show him what he was getting himself into. Sal uses his uncircumcised penis for the ''pouch'' and he can shove a ton of them in there.
Howard told Kevin that this can be a health risk and Artie told him that his old man could keep him from getting the family money if he does stuff like this. Kevin said that his father will probably find it funny. Sal wanted Kevin to lay on his back to do this but he didn't want to do that. Sal eventually fed him the M&Ms but they all fell past his face. He finally got one in there and Howard said that maybe he is funny.
Howard asked Kevin if he was alright. Kevin almost threw up after that so Howard was laughing. Artie said that if they had a funny meter on that side of the studio, it probably wouldn't read anything.
Dominic Barbara called in and told Kevin that they could have gone to jail for that grenade stunt. Kevin said that he knows that it was a stupid move, but it was years ago. Howard said that everyone wants to be these Jackass guys but they must research what's legal and stuff. The guys weren't so sure about that.
Artie told Kevin he could have mouth gonorrhea now. The Howard TV guys showed the replay and Richard said he looked like a baby bird taking the M&Ms in there.
Howard gave Kevin a plug for his Myspace page at Myspace.com/slowchildrenvideos. Richard asked him if he wanted to eat some stuff out of his ass crack. Kevin wasn't into that so the guys asked Sal to do it. Sal refused and told Richard to eat it out of his ass instead.
Richard put the Nutri-Grain bar in his ass but Kevin refused to eat it and so did Sal. Artie said that he'd give Kevin $500 to eat it. Kevin thought about it after that but he still didn't want to do it. Sal shoved the bar in Richard's ass when he stuck his foot over there. Richard said he was going to shove it in Sal's face after that. He chased him around a little bit and had the guys laughing.
Howard said that these stunts aren't that good and he's not that amused by them. Ralph called in and asked what's different between this guy and what Sal and Richard do. Howard said that when he ate the M&Ms it was kind of funny.
Isaac from Howard TV came in and said that some of the video is actually pretty funny. He said that they'll have more clips in the Howard TV show for this segment.
Ralph asked what was wrong with Kevin that he had to go to boarding school. Kevin said that he had a learning disability. Howard wondered why he hired him there if he has a learning disability. He actually catalogs the old shows so Howard wasn't sure that was the best job for him. Kevin said he also produces the Riley Martin show.
Artie gave him some advice about not pissing off his father over this stuff because he'll cut him off. Kevin said that his father is just like him and likes that kind of stuff so he should be fine. Richard said that Kevin is cool and he's into the same metal music that he's into. They go to concerts and stuff together.
One of the guys told Howard that the first time Richard got a stick of deodorant he smeared it all over his body because he had no idea how to use it. Richard said he didn't know how to use it and didn't ask his parents about it. He was 14 at the time and said that he wasn't sure if his parents ever used deodorant either because he never saw any around the house. Howard wrapped up with Kevin and gave him another plug for his Myspace page and went to break.
Gary said that he wants to come out with Miss Howard Stern too. Artie told Gary that he doesn't want this retard coming in, he doesn't like him. Gary said he's doing a comedy show in September so that's why he wants to come in then.
Artie told Gary not to act retarded when he comes in next time. Gary aid that he is retarded, damn it, so he can't help the way he acts. He said that he might be able to tone down the ''retardedness'' though.
Howard heard that Gary hates Eric the Midget so he asked him why that was. Gary said that other people don't like him, that's why he doesn't like him. Howard played a clip of Gary complaining about him picking up the phone for Eric the Midget but he won't do that for him. Gary ripped into Eric about him complaining about everything on the show all the time. He gets cut off in the middle of a sentence.
Howard talked to Gary about Eric and Gary is very upset that he doesn't really do anything at the comedy shows and he just sits there while everyone else is working.
Howard played a prank call that Richard and Sal made to Gary where they told him that he was no longer retarded. They had some test results for him and broke the news to him that he was no longer retarded. Gary got all excited until they asked him a few questions and found out the results were wrong.
Gary laughed and said that was a pretty good call. He said that he'll always be retarded no matter what. Howard let him go after that.
Howard asked Dee if he knew that he had hit songs on his hands with those two songs. Dee said that he did. He didn't know that they'd still be around this long after though.
Howard said that he's a fan of this show that Dee is in called ''Gone Country.'' He was going to talk about that but he had to figure out where the echo was coming from. It turned out to be Dee's headphones being turned up too loud. Howard had him turn them down and the echo went away.
Howard talked about this show that Dee is on and how good it is so far. He said that Bobby Brown is Dee's roommate on the show and at the end of the show he hopped up on stage and started to rap with him when he was singing. Howard said that Dee grabbed him around the neck and was ready to beat the shit out of the guy. He said that Bobby wasn't doing anything that bad, he was just trying to jam with him but Dee didn't know that.
Howard said that Bobby Brown looks awful these days and he thought that he was much older than he really is. He said he's only in his 30s but he looks like he's in his 40's. Howard said that Julio Iglacias is also on the show. Maureen McCormick is in the show and she starts to fall for Bobby Brown.
Howard said that Dee is kind of insane on the show because he can't get coffee. Robin found that odd and talked about his other weird addiction that he talked about the last time he was on. That was his e-mail addiction. Howard said that Dee used to drink Jolt cola in the past and that's another addiction he had back then.
Dee said that he drinks about 6 cups of coffee a day and it's tough to stop drinking it cold turkey. He said that it's 3 double espressos a day so that's like 6 cups of coffee. Dee told Howard that he started out with one cup of coffee on the first day and he was told that he was going to get more the rest of the day but he still hadn't had any by 11 o'clock that night. He said that 4 cups showed up when he started threatening to leave the show.
Howard said that Carnie Wilson is on the show and she's as fat as ever. He said that they show her eating like crazy on that show too. Howard said he also heard that Bobby Brown peed on Dee. Dee said that he didn't pee on him, but he did pee in the vicinity of him. Dee said that they want to create a new odd couple show based on him and Bobby.
Dee said that he saw Bobby walking toward his bed one night and wondered what the hell was going on. It was dark in the room and he didn't know what was happening. Dee said that Bobby then turned toward his night table and pulled out his johnson. He said that's when the hilarity ensued.
Dee was talking about Maureen McCormick and how they found out that she can actually sing, she just doesn't have any experience singing in front of people. Dee said that they actually had a lot of fun doing the show and he's been trying to stay in touch with some of the people. He said that Bobby's phone doesn't even pick up when he calls but the others he's able to stay in touch with.
Howard asked Dee if he missed his wife while he was doing the show. He said that he was okay with it. He said that his anniversary was during that 8 weeks he was gone and he never got to see her. He thinks that one of the producers stopped that from happening.
Dee said that there was a hit out on Howard's head because he was talking about his wife on the show. Howard said he didn't know what that was about. Dee said that this guy Huey Apples heard that Howard was talking about his niece on the show and the guy actually put a hit out on his head because of it. He said that his wife called her uncle and asked him to call it off so she probably saved Howard from getting beat up at a minimum.
Howard gave Dee a plug for this concert he's doing for the victims of the Rhode Island club fire after the band Great White set fire to the club. There were 200 people who were seriously injured or left without parents so they're doing a fund raiser for them.
Dee said that he knew the guys in Great White and now they're suffering for this thing that happened. He said that no one has given any of the victims of the fire so they're trying to help them out. They're doing the show at the Dunkin Donuts center in Rhode Island on February 25th. He said that this could have happened to any band at any club so they're trying to get a lot of other musicians to step up and help out.
Dee said that they have a lot of musicians showing up to the event, including country stars, but there are a lot of bands who aren't responding and refuse to get involved. He said that there's one artist who is trying to forget their hair band past and won't do it. Dee wasn't going to say who it was but eventually blurted out ''Bon Jovi!''
Howard asked Dee who else he's reached out to that won't help. Dee said he's been trying to get in touch with Aerosmith because they live just miles from the club that burned. He said he can't get them or Bon Jovi but he's not sure if Jon Bon Jovi is saying no or if it's his people. He hasn't spoken to any of them personally.
Howard asked Dee if he's reached out to Larry Pierce yet. Dee laughed and asked who he is. Howard had Gary pull up some of his music for him and played some of those songs for Dee. They played Larry's song ''Will You Swallow My Cum.'' Dee laughed and said that he could get up there with John Rich and Gretchen Wilson.
Artie said that the story about having a hit out on Howard is fascinating to him. Dee said that to an old school Italian, saying that you want to fuck his niece, that's an insult. Howard said that he's happy with Beth now and he doesn't want to fuck Dee's wife anymore. He doesn't want to upset her family anymore.
Dee said that he was 21 when he met his wife, who was only 15 years old at the time. He said that he came rolling in wearing tight pants and pink platform shoes. He said that they warned him before he took her out that if he disrespected her, they'd hunt him down. He knew they were serious too. He said that he waited a minimum of 6 months before he even laid a hand on her. Howard told him she was well worth it.
Howard gave Dee a plug for this show he's doing and said you can get tickets and information at StationFamilyFund.org. Dee said that all of the proceeds go to the victims. Howard wrapped up with Dee a short time later and gave him some plugs for that country show he's on too.
Howard was about to let Dee go but he ended up telling him about going out to see Leslie West the other night at BB Kings. He talked about that for a minute and let Dee go.
Artie said that he saw a Popeye's chicken commercial one time where a black guy sticks his eyes up through the o in Popeye's and said ''I love that chicken'' and people got upset about that.
Howard said that Dennis Miller recently put him on the mount Rushmore of Radio on his show but he did it reluctantly. He played a clip of Dennis talking about that with a caller who asked him about it. Dennis said that he would put faces like Rush Limbaugh, Wolfman Jack and he'd probably have to put Howard Stern up there even though he's not a Stern devotee. Artie said that he could have been an ass and not mention him at all.
Artie asked Howard about his book and the lists that he had of comedians he liked. Howard said he loves Dennis Miller. Artie wanted to know the history of what happened between them. Howard said that Dennis used to call into the show and mix it up with him, he's not even sure what happened there. Gary came in and gave Howard the history and said that Howard asked Dennis about this woman who was dating him at the time. Howard asked him about it and Dennis asked them not to air it after the show so they actually cut it out of the show. they never aired it and Dennis still got upset with them.
Gary said that he thinks that Miller is funny but he never liked him when he came on the show. He said that they did something nice for Dennis and he still held it against them. Howard said that he's seen that Dennis is a failure at sports c