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Howard started off the show talking about being back live and giving the date to prove it. He guessed at the date because he wasn't quite sure though. He said that he was in the middle of a story with Artie before they started the show. He said that Artie was on Conan O'Brien's show during vacation and he was annoyed with Randy Jackson from American Idol.
Artie said that Randy came off as very phony and talked about himself in the third person so it was very annoying. He said that he was very nice to him off stage but he was very phony when he was nice to him. He said that he didn't want to talk to him but the guy came back and told him ''The dawg loves what you do man...'' and the dawg was Randy. He said that he thanked Randy but he found it all kind of phony.
Artie said that Randy gave him that hand shake where he brings you into his chest. Then he got on the air and walked out and told Conan that ''the dawg keeps it real'' so Conan asked him ''so you're the dawg?'' like he didn't know.
Artie said that Randy had an outfit on that looked like it was from mars. He said that it was the most dull and not entertaining interviews he's ever seen. He said he's starting some new show where he finds a new band to put together and he's doing it with Paula. The interview about it was boring though.
Howard said that Artie should have called himself the ''pizza pie'' when Randy called himself the dawg. Artie said that he went out and called himself the dawg when he did his interview. He said he talked to Conan about how ridiculous it is that Randy has any power. Howard said that the audience loved it even it Conan didn't.
Artie said he went back stage after his appearance and heard that Randy had come back to say goodbye and he saw him getting slammed. Randy told them to tell him that's really funny and ''the dawg'' thinks that's funny. He said that's so phony for him to do that and keep pretending that he's okay with someone slamming him like that.
Howard said that Oprah is kind of like that with her phoniness on her show. Artie said that he had an uncle who wanted to come with him to Conan because he thought he was going to be on the show with Reggie Jackson, not Randy. He said he's not sure how he got that mixed up, he must have read it wrong.
Howard played some clips from Conan's show where Randy was calling himself ''the dawg.'' Then he played Artie talking about being annoyed that Randy has any power. He played through some of that and some of Artie talking about his uncle wanting to come to see Reggie Jackson.
Howard said he walked into the show after it had started and they sat him right into the front row. He said he wasn't sure how many people were going to be in there. He said that he would have been there for the whole show but he walked in on Nick Di Paolo while he was doing his act.
Howard said that once the applause had died down, the audience was ready to see Nick. He said that Nick wanted to get off the stage after that though. Artie said he did about 12 minutes of his act before Howard walked in and he was supposed to do like 20 minutes. Artie said that it was 2500 people in a big room and some of them expected that he might be there. Artie said that Nick only bailed about 5 minutes early.
Gary said that the TV guys were down there and they had audio of when he walked into the show. They played the clip where Nick mentioned that Howard was there. The audience cheered him on when he came in.
Nick gave him a nice intro but then he joked about Beth being ugly. He was just being sarcastic but he ended up calling them later on in the night apologizing for that and saying that he was just kidding.
Howard said that Jeff was so drunk that he was about to fall off the stage there. He said he was yelling at Artie to get him before he did fall. Jeff was wobbling around on stage and started to talk. He said he was really relaxed up there on stage and did kind of a Bill Cosby kind of delivery.
Howard said that Jeff showed his ass on stage and you get to see the aftermath of that operation he had. Howard played some audio of Artie introducing him and Jeff almost falling off stage. He said the audience kind of went nuts when they saw that. The crowd calmed down and let Jeff try to talk. Then he started to tell the audience to ''calm down bitch!'' He repeated that a few times and had nothing else to say. Howard said he wanted to give him some material because the audience was ready to hear him do something. Then someone yelled out ''You suck!'' as Jeff was barreling through his story about his trip down there.
Howard said he didn't know what Jeff was talking about until he heard the replay of this clip. Artie told Jeff that was some anecdote that he'd just told on stage. Howard said after that the audience got to see his ass and they went nuts. The crowd let out a huge sigh when they saw that ass of his.
Howard said that Jeff's story was basically just saying that he had a car pull in front of him on the way down there and he told her to ''shut up bitch.'' Howard had Jeff on the phone to talk about that.
Jeff called in with a wheeze like they'd never heard before. Jeff said he got sick. He isn't sure what's wrong with him, he just knows that he's sick. Howard said it might have something to do with his lifestyle. Jeff said that he's fine. He said he fell the other day and hurt himself too. He said he didn't break anything though. He's only 40 years old, the same as Artie, but he looks 60 to Robin.
Howard had some audio from back stage at the show in Atlantic City and this is why Artie can't handle having him at these shows. He said that Artie treats him really well but he makes all kinds of demands. He said that Jeff was in complaining mode back there. He played the clip where Jeff was saying that he went through hell to get there and they stuck him in a room with a bunch of nobodies. He said he didn't know anyone in the room and he was pissed.
Howard told Jeff that he's a nobody too, he doesn't seem to understand that. Artie said that the guys who were in the room with him were his buddies from high school. Jeff said that he's one of the Wack Pack though. JD said that Artie's friends were a pain in the ass too because they wouldn't let Jeff be interviewed for Howard TV until Artie came back there.
Howard had some more clips of Jeff yelling about stuff back stage at the show. Jeff was going off on the cameraman for no apparent reason. He said that Jeff was yelling for Jim McClure like he was his mother or something. Howard asked Jeff who the guys were that he brought with him down there. Jeff said he didn't know.
JD said that some of Jeff's friends were kind of scary. They talked about them a little bit and Jeff said that they're just people he knows. Artie said that some of them are like the Carnies at a carnival.
Howard played another clip of Jeff yelling for Jim McClure to come to him. He was screaming for him. Artie said that JD and Jim were helping him back stage and that's why he was yelling for him. He said that Teddy was away for the weekend so Jim was there instead.
Howard asked Jeff if this bothers him to hear that he's ''that guy'' back stage. Jeff said it really doesn't. JD said that Jeff was in a room with beer so he's not sure what else he needed. JD said that Jeff is the most demanding guy back stage, no one else asks for the kind of stuff he asks for.
Howard said that Jeff should be thanking Artie for letting him come down there. He shouldn't be treating people the way he does. Artie said that most people do thank him for that kind of stuff and tell him that they had fun. He never gets that from Jeff. Jeff said he only saw Artie for 2 minutes, he didn't have time. Artie said that 2 minutes is plenty of time.
Artie told Jeff that he's a real jerk off and that tape he just heard didn't make him want to have him to any more shows. He said that it's like a slap in the face when he hears that. Jeff gave him a ''whatever'' when he heard that.
Gary came in and asked Jeff what else he has and why he abuses people that way when someone gives him something like that. Jeff claimed he was hamming it up for the camera. Howard said that's changes the story then. He said that maybe Artie needs Jeff there and he should have him to every show. Robin said that he should grab him up before he does a show of his own.
JD said that he just wanted to tell them what a piece of shit Jeff was. Howard was going to let Jeff go after that but Jeff said that he heard that the Hannah Montana performances that were up in his area were pre-recorded. He was upset about that.
Howard said that he had a great time down there at the Borgata. He said that they treated him really well like they do every time he's there. Artie said that they're great there. He said that he got a fantastic review in New Jersey Monthly too.
Howard said that he jerked off twice yesterday because Beth went off on a trip. He said that he didn't even wait for porn the first time. He just thought about some chick that he had banged and he was able to finish. He said he was able to finish in a few seconds. Fred played some sound effects with a door opening, a beating off sound clip and then a glop sound. Howard was trying to get Fred to do it in the actual time it took him to finish.
Fred wasn't able to pull it off the way Howard wanted to hear it. He said that there might be a flaw in the system if he can't do it. He finally came through with something close enough though.
Howard said that he beat off in the morning and then had to do it again in the afternoon. He said that he used porn the second time. He wanted to get a nap before he played a chess game so that's why he did it the second time. He ate a big meal and then got his porn stash and found something to beat off to. Howard said that the dawg was watching him beat off and he's tired of that. Artie asked if it was Randy Jackson watching him. Howard said it was his actual dog.
Howard said that he was watching some porn with this girl all tied up and oiled down. He said that she was tied up but able to do pleasure herself. JD came in and told Howard that the movie stars Bree Olson and it's called ''Bound To Please 2.'' Howard said that she was really hot in that movie. He didn't remember meeting her even though she was on the show. JD said that she was really into Howard when she was there.
Robin asked how that porn got into his stash. Howard said he put it in his bag and took it home with him. JD told him that she's coming in there in 2 weeks.
Howard said he usually forgets about the porn he brings home and then he finds it, kind of like buried treasure.
Howard said he played some blackjack before going to the comedy show. He said he hadn't played in years. Artie said he likes that Howard can just have fun playing and doesn't have to spend a lot to do it. Howard said that he knows that the game is completely fucked up unless you can count cards. He said that he was with a bunch of guys down there and he was down by about $500 after a few hours. He said he was really upset about that.
Howard said that he was down by about $400 and this guy from the Borgata came over to him and told him to bet it all and managed to get up to over a grand. He said that he was acting like he'd just hit the lottery.
After Artie's show the guys went out to play some poker and kept it pretty small stakes. He said that they had a fun group of guys to play and they were just playing for a few bucks. Artie had gone up to shower and came back down to see what was going on. Howard said that none of the guys playing had a clue how to play. He said that Artie would have hated it.
Howard said that the poor dealer had to explain the game to the guys who were playing during almost every hand. Howard said that if it happened just once, it would be fine. He had to do it with each guy multiple times. Howard said he was getting sick with those guys not knowing how to play the game. NO one was paying attention and no one was doing anything right.
Howard said he got frustrated and went to his room to go to sleep. He said the guys were acting up in front of the dealer and it just wasn't cool. He said that they were also yelling out ''monkey'' during the blackjack games because they saw some Japanese guys doing that a few years back. He said that Ross is the guy who does that. The guys talked about how rough Ross can be on the dealers down there.
Howard said that it's really not a lot of fun for him to have that going on around him. He said that he really needs to go by himself instead if with a bunch of guys. Artie said that he'd like to go down there with Howard sometime and not with the other guys. Howard said he would do that because Artie knows how to play poker.
Artie said that he didn't want to see Howard in the front row at his show. He said it's kind of weird when he sees people he knows at his shows. Howard thought he did fine though. Artie said he would like to go back down there with him and just play poker with him.
Howard said that Anthony from the Opie and Anthony show was sitting at the next table while he was playing poker so he was distracted by that. Howard said he waved to Anthony and Anthony waved back to him. He said that someone asked him why he was waving to him because they're the enemy. Howard said that they're not the enemy. He said that they were actually talking about them and how they're not getting any ratings over at their old station, K-Rock. Howard said that he's got bigger enemies than Opie and Anthony. Artie said that he's not sure how they're even part of the same conversation as Howard.
Howard said he has OCD and he was kind of obsessing about some stuff down there. He said he didn't want to walk by Anthony because he was afraid his bad luck was going to rub off on him. He said that he did walk past him and he even shook his hand and said hello to him. He said that he was saying hello to everyone down there and he liked that the fans were so admiring and friendly. He said that the fans are really the best.
Artie said that the fans really do love the show and there's a genuine excitement out there. He said that its' like that around the country.
Howard said that there was a guy behind him at the show who said ''holy shit... look at the size of this guy!'' when he saw Artie walk out on stage. Howard said that everyone was commenting on how big he was for about 5 minutes.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that he was back stage. Howard said he had no idea that he was even there. He said that Jeff was really loud back stage and his comments had nothing to do with reality. Howard told Dominic he had to take a break so he could get to Eric the Midget. He said that Jimmy Kimmel sent him a note about Eric wanting to come to his show. He said that Jimmy introduced Eric on TV and they some stories to tell about that.
Howard said that he thought that Jon Stewart was really good on the Oscar's last night but he got blasted in the reviews of the show today. Robin said she thought he was really good too and couldn't believe how much he got bashed.
Howard said that Jimmy had e-mailed him during vacation and told him about how Eric's people had contacted him and told him he could be a guest. He said that Jimmy was going to have him there but didn't want him as a guest. Howard got Eric on the phone and asked Eric why he was trying to be a guest. Eric said that he just wanted to meet Jimmy, he didn't want to be a guest.
Jimmy said that it wasn't Eric, it was his people who contacted him. He said he would have Eric in the audience. Jimmy had him there and actually did say hi to him on the air. Jimmy said that he couldn't think of anything but Eric while he was there.
Howard said that Jimmy had a bunch of stars there with him all day and the only person he cared about that night was Eric. Jimmy said that he sent a note out to his friends and family and they all wanted to come out and meet Eric.
Howard had Jimmy's e-mail about Eric and read through some of that. He said that Jimmy told him that it took the audience about 8 minutes to recover after he had introduced Eric. He played a clip from Jimmy's show where he introduced Eric. Jimmy said that he was the reason he was so excited that evening. Howard said the audience went dead when they showed Eric on the camera.
Howard said that Jimmy was shocked to meet Eric. He read the e-mail he got after Eric's appearance. Jimmy said that the audience was shocked by his appearance and it took about 8 minutes to recover. Jimmy said he shook Eric's hand and it was like shaking a rotten plumb. Jimmy said he also saw pictures of Kendra kissing Eric. Eric said he got to spend a couple of days with Kendra out there in Beverly Hills.
Artie asked Eric if he got to bang Kendra because he was with her for 2 days. Eric said he was a gentleman and he didn't do anything else. They showed some of the kissing pictures on the web cam at JFSC.tv. Howard said that there were some pictures of Kendra kind of kissing Eric but not really. Then they showed one that showed her really kissing him. There was one of Eric with Kendra with just pasties on and Eric said he didn't expect that one to be shown. He said that her friend was taking the pictures and he really didn't want that one up there.
Howard said that Jimmy was saying he wasn't sure if Eric could have sex. He said that Eric is smaller than a midget and he's more of a ''sub-midget'' and more the size of a volleyball.
Howard read through more of Jimmy's e-mail and Jimmy said that Eric had gone out to a strip club and one of the girls there had gone the extra mile for him. Eric said that the woman was taking the lap dance a little farther than he expected. He said that she was putting her boobs in his face and stuff like that. Artie asked him what kind of fruit he is. Jimmy said ''He's a cantaloupe.''
Howard said that Jimmy was saying that some of Eric's friends were saying that he wants to play the field a little bit instead of staying with Kendra. Eric said that was true.
Jimmy wrote that Eric is very full of himself right now. Howard asked Eric what happened with Kendra when she took the pictures with him. He wondered if there were any times that they were alone and kissing or if the camera was there the whole time. Eric said there were times when they were alone. Howard asked him if he felt a connection with Kendra, why would he want to play the field. Eric said that he just thought it might be a good thing to do.
Howard said he doesn't think that Eric is being honest with them. Eric said that he was being honest. He said that he didn't really get to feel her breasts, but maybe a little bit. He said that he got to watch her do a photo shoot, that's what the naked (with pasties) pictures were. He said he told her that he was thinking of playing the field out there.
Howard asked Eric if the stripper had touched his crotch. Eric said that she did have her head down there and rubbed her leg into him.
Jimmy said that he thinks that Eric is discovering his celebrity and he's getting a lot more attention now that he comes out of that room of his. He has a lot more going on than you'd think. Howard asked Eric what happened with Kendra out there because obviously something went on that made him realize that it's not as serious as he thought it was.
Eric said that Kendra did get jealous of him when he went to the strip club. He said that the dancer tried to kiss him at one point and she got upset about that.
Howard had some new made up clips that the guys made up using clips of Eric talking. They had him saying ''Kendra pissed in my asshole.'' Jimmy said that Eric always wants to be called Eric the Actor but he comes up with all of these strange names to be called. Howard said he's right and he made a good point. He would play some of those clips in a minute. He had some other clips like ''I wanted to fuck Kendra's asshole'' and ''I like Kendra's cock'' and ''I am sticking Kendra's penis in my butt'' among others. Howard said that he was just kidding around.
Howard said that he had Kendra on the phone and she's saying she's pissed at Eric. Howard got her on the phone and she said that she's not doing that good. Howard said he heard that she made out with him and now he's saying that he doesn't want to be with her. Eric said that's basically what he's saying. Kendra said he didn't say that to her when she was with him.
Howard asked Eric what was going on there. Eric said that he's not sure what happened. He said he had a good time and everything. Kendra figured it was the strip club that opened his eyes and now he wants to play the field. She said that it was her idea to go.
Howard said he's getting the feeling that they're making this all up to get out of this whole thing because he could see Eric laughing on camera. Gary said that everyone out there was going nuts and Steve Langford had a story about how he was breaking the story that this was all a scam. Eric got upset and said that it wasn't a scam though.
Steve Langford came in and said that they wouldn't let them cover the story. Eric was trying to explain it but Steve was talking over him. Eric said that they were going to invite Steve out there but he screwed it up. He told Steve to go the fuck back to Canada. He said that they interviewed someone who was full of shit last week. Steve said that guy had e-mails and voice mails that proved that this was a big scam.
Howard asked Kendra what was really going on here. She said that she didn't know what he was talking about. Howard said that he wanted Eric to swear on the life of his mother that he was telling the truth about this thing. Eric said that he swore on his mother's life that this was not prearranged. He said that there was a wacko stalker who was going after Jim Florentine and Shuli and she was the one who was telling these stories about him and Kendra.
Howard said that he wanted to get their right. He asked Eric if that was true that he wanted to date other women even after meeting Kendra. Jimmy said he didn't get why he was laughing when he was talking about that stuff. He asked Eric why he was doing that. Eric said that he just smiles when he looks at her and that's why he was smiling when he was doing that.
Howard said that Kendra is the only one who is talking to him that way and there isn't a field to play. Jimmy said that he was examining Eric's body and he thinks that he can't reach the front of his own body and he may not be able to have sex with Kendra. He said that it would be like a World War II veteran who can't have sex. Howard asked Eric if he can have sex. Eric said he is able to do that with any woman.
Howard asked Kendra to tell them how far she went with Eric. She was silent for a moment and then said that she didn't have sex with him. She said that she wouldn't tell everyone if she did do anything. She said that he didn't touch her boobs.
Howard said that just a week ago Eric was singing love songs to Kendra. He replayed that cover of ''Wild Thing'' that Eric performed for her. They had edited it and changed the lyrics a little bit. He played the real song after that one.
Howard said that Kendra must have turned Eric off somehow. She wasn't sure what happened there. Eric said that she didn't smell bad or anything like that. Jimmy was cracking jokes about Eric's body and Eric said that today he was acting like a piece of shit like the piece of shit show he was calling into. He didn't like it at all.
Jimmy said that he was shocked when he met Eric. He said that he told him that maybe he shouldn't base his meeting her on just one meeting. Eric asked Kendra if he could go out with her now that Eric is done with her. He said that he'll be out in Arizona soon and he'd like to talk to her. She said that she needs to talk to Eric off the air about this before she can do that. The guys told her that she just dissed her on national radio and now is the time to talk to him.
Kendra said that she had someone else who could confirm what went on this weekend. Steve Langford said that they have some proof that this is a scam. He said they have a picture of Kendra that she sent to this guy Patrick who claims that this was all set up and one big scam.
Steve asked Kendra about the exchanges she had with Patrick where she said that she's in on this whole thing. Eric said that they're doctored and they're not real. Steve didn't sound convinced.
Howard said that if Kendra was really hurt by Eric, she should just say something to him now. Howard said he wanted to get to the bottom of this whole thing. He wants to have both of them in to take lie detector tests. Jimmy said that they should have him fly with balloons if he's lying. Gary said he heard that Eric doesn't want to do it unless they can get him on ''Moment of Truth.''
Howard played a bunch of the Eric the... clips. Eric interrupted and said that this guy Patrick is a guy who will do anything to try and take them down in the JFSC. Howard asked Kendra to swear on the life of her mom that this wasn't fixed. She did do that.
Howard asked Eric what happened when he met Kendra that turned him off to her. He wanted him to be honest with her. He said he owes that to her. Eric said that he doesn't know what went wrong. Eric let out a few sighs and said he's not sure what it was that went wrong.
Howard asked Eric why he doesn't like her now. He said that he just doesn't feel like he's in love with her now. He said that he can't put his finger on one thing. He said that she's definitely hot. Howard kept digging and asking what it was that went wrong. Eric was quiet and wasn't coming up with any answers.
Steve said that they got a note from Eric last week explaining how he and Kendra were getting to know each other. Eric said that he thinks that the field isn't empty like the guys were saying. He said that he's not sure he could find someone better than Kendra, but there are women who tell him that they wish he were single.
Howard said that Johnny Fratto was on the phone and he knows what's going on. He said that the other dancer is what went wrong. He said that she must have put something in his head at the strip club. He said that's when that fucker changed.
Howard asked Eric if that was true. Eric said yes so the guys asked him what she said to him that changed him. Eric said that he wasn't sure but it was something dirty. Robin said she must have turned him on and Kendra didn't.
Johnny said that Kendra was doing all kinds of things to help Eric out when they were hanging out. She was helping him open his food and stuff like that. Johnny asked Eric if he had a good time with her. He said he did. Robin figures that Kendra was treating Eric like a baby but the stripper treated him like a man.
Steve said that the guy who is blowing the lid off of all of this stuff is willing to take a lie detector test. Johnny said that guy lied about some other stuff and he wondered if he's going to be tested on that too.
Howard said he wanted to bring and end to this. He thanked Jimmy for getting up early to do this. He also thanked Eric and Kendra for calling in but he wanted to know what was really going on there.
Gary said that he's heard that there's some stuff going on out there between Johnny and Mutt's web site and this is some big convoluted plan for Johnny to take over SFN. Johnny said that's not true at all. He said that he and Mutt are fine and he knows that there were some doctored e-mails that were trying to make him look bad.
Howard gave Jimmy some plugs for his show and then asked Eric if he felt bad breaking it off with Kendra like this. Eric said he did. Howard congratulated him on his active social life. He gave Kendra a plug for her web site KendrasSecret.com. Artie told them all to take their collective web sites and shove them up their asses.
Howard said that Steve-O was there and they had to get to him. He was drunk already from what he heard. He went to break a short time later.
Steve, who had apparently been drinking heavily, was rambling on about some guy by the name of Big Reg and how he was telling him that Howard didn't want him plugging his shit, he wants a sacrificial lamb in there. Howard said that everyone is worried about Steve-O today. Robin said that he's always like that, she's not sure why they'd be worried.
Steve was slurring his words and going on and on about something about Eminem and not making a whole lot of sense. Steve said that Eminem is over now. Howard asked Steve what he was drinking this morning and he rambled something unintelligible.
Steve went off on Martha Stewart and said that she's a liar and should have been in jail for a lot longer. He said that she can't fuck with Howard Stern and told her to go home or back to jail and ''fuck you, die.'' then he threw in a plug for his web site SteveO.com.
Howard asked Steve about the drugs he's doing now. Steve said that he has been smoking some marijuana but nothing else. Howard said there were some reports that he was at the Gene Simmons Roast and doing some other stuff. Steve said that's bullshit and he doesn't care about that.
Howard asked Steve about his new album (The Dumbest Asshole In Hip Hop) and about the kind of money he's making doing all of this stuff. Steve said that he's got a lot of money but he didn't need it to get drugs back when he was in the circus. He said that's how talented he is.
Steve said that he makes people happy for a living and that's why he feels he can do all of the drugs that he wants to do. He said that he does all kinds of stupid shit for the MTV awards and stuff like that. He did a stunt recently where he made a crown of beer cans and smashed them all. He said you can see that stunt on JackassWorld.com.
Howard said that he just saw Bam Margera recently at the Scott Greenstein bar mitzvah. Steve said that Bam does coke and Johnny does amphetamines. He felt he should get a plug for his Myspace page (Myspace.com/steveoarmy) after that revelation. He said that he's trying to get as many people on his friend's list as possible. Then he said that he was out smoking weed in the hall there at the show. Howard said that can't be possible but Steve said that's what he was doing out in the hall.
Howard asked Steve about who he's endorsing for President. He said that Obama is the only way this country is going to survive. He went on to give his drunken rant about why he thinks that Obama should be President. Robin said she didn't think that he even knew about politics.
Howard played some of Steve's new album and then quickly changed subjects. He asked Steve about the Jackass guys and what's going on with them. Steve then revealed that he just got married himself. He said that her name is Brittany Glover McGraw and you can find her online if you search for her. He said that he's a ''one gash man'' now. He said that they actually haven't even had a ceremony so they're technically not married. He said that his grandmother has been asking him to make a baby too.
Howard asked Steve when the next Jackass movie is going to come out. Steve said he can't comment on that officially. He said that they're working on it now though.
Howard asked Steve what kind of drugs he's doing now. He said that he's been doing some PCP and cat amphetamines. Then Steve asked the guys to bring in this guy Big Reg who has to keep him under control. They brought him in a short time later. He said that they disrespected Big Reg on the Dr. Steve-O show and that's why he quit the show.
Howard asked Big Reg about trying to handle Steve-O and what that's like. Reg said that he's a rapper himself and he almost had an album out but EZ-E died before it came out and he never was able to release it.
Howard asked Steve how he was able to get a commercial for this Orbit gum he's promoting. Steve passed Artie the joint that he was smoking earlier and Artie said he was getting a contact high from it. Howard asked him not to take a hit from it. He said it was still burning when Steve put it in his pocket.
Howard took some phone calls for Steve-O and told them that they can't be doing that stuff in the studio. He let some callers ask Steve some questions and one guy brought up how Steve had stolen Big Reg from Paris Hilton's security crew. Steve was going on and on about the story so Howard asked him to take a breather.
Howard asked Big Reg what happened with Steve and Paris. Reg said that he distracted some security guards so Steve could get into this club and they were all brought up on charges of assault and trespassing.
Howard asked Reg about what he used to do for a living. He used to sell crack out on the streets. Steve said that Reg used to sell to Todd Bridges. Steve said that Big Reg isn't part of his security now, he's actually on his rap crew. Howard had Reg rap a little bit. He did a little rap about Howard and his show.
Howard asked Steve about Paris and what kind of relationship he's got with her. Steve said he's never tried to bang her, he doesn't want to ruin his relationship with her. He said that he has done coke with her before but he's not going to make a sacrificial lamb out of her.
Steve said that whenever he leaves the show he always wonders what the headline is going to be. He figured that it'll be something about him doing coke with Paris. Howard was going to play some more of Steve's rap album. He played ''Poke the Puss'' and told him that he may be on to something there. He said that he's lying in the song about not wearing rubbers. He said that he actually does wear them all the time.
Howard listened to more of the song and said he's not sure what he's singing about in some of that. They wrapped up with Steve a short time later. Steve got in some more plugs for his web site and album and all of that stuff. He said that he was giving Howard a bootleg copy of this new movie he has out too. Howard told him to get some sleep for god's sake. Artie told him not to let any of that weed end up in his drawer. Reg said that they'd make sure that didn't happen. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Robin interrupted the flow when Howard heard her typing on her computer. She said she had to send a note to someone. Howard eventually got it out of her that it was her masseuse who she was sending the message to. She had to cancel a massage because her schedule was being changed.
Howard said that David Alan Grier must be living a nightmare with Britney Spears on his street. In the clip Garver asks David a couple of questions and had him talking about using the N-word. David said that black people use the N-word with each other like a Jew might use the word ''kike'' within their family or something. Howard cut it off and said that the funny thing is that Jews don't do that.
Howard got back to the clip and David said that he listens to Howard every day. Then Garver asked him about Britney Spears and that's when he talked about how crazy things are in his neighborhood now that she lives there. He said that he wishes that her and her whole hillbilly clan would go back to wherever they came from. He said that things have changed in the neighborhood and there are always 50 cars parked on the street and it's just crazy.
Howard said it must be crazy for a guy like that who has something so crazy going on around him. He said he can't even walk down the street because he doesn't want to deal with it. Artie said that it must be bad because those guys probably leave garbage all over and things like that.
Howard said he read a story about Puff Daddy moving into a neighborhood and how Rosie O'Donnell got upset about all of the parties he was throwing all the time. Artie said that Howard pointed out what went on with Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck when they were living in his building. Howard said that he's never seen anything like it. There were so many paparazzi around that people couldn't even walk out on the street.
Howard said that he ran out of the building the other day to go to the gym and didn't even think about what he put on. He said he was walking down the street and a bunch of paparazzi started snapping pictures of him. He said that he pulled his coat up over his head and told the guys he didn't look his best. They didn't care and kept snapping. Then a video crew came up to him and asked him about Adam Carolla on Dancing with the Stars. He said he didn't want to answer that because he doesn't care if he does that show, although it will be kind of funny to see him dressing up and dancing.
Artie didn't know that Adam was going to be doing that show. He said that's pretty funny. Howard wondered where all of the paparazzi came from out there and it turns out that Steve Gutenberg is going to be on Dancing with the Stars so that's why they were all there. He said that they don't have to stake him out though. Howard figured that Steve would move in and let them take pictures of him all the time.
Artie read the list of celebrities that are going to be on Dancing with the Stars and there were a bunch of B-list people on it. Howard said that a lot of those people get jobs from doing that show. He mentioned Lisa Rinna and then read an article about her where they said that she might be the worst interviewer ever. Howard said he thinks that she's doing much better than she was before he gave her some advice.
Howard said that Gary Garver got an interview with Sienna Miller. He played that clip where Gary asked her about who she was and if she likes Howard Stern. She said that she does like Howard Stern but then called him a ''filth bag.''
Howard said that he saw Regis Philbin doing some interviews with people and he was getting people's names wrong. Howard said that he doesn't understand why the guy does that kind of stuff if he cares so little to even learn people's names.
Howard played Gary's interview with Reese Witherspoon. Her publicist was telling him to get lost but once she came over she did a quick interview with him. Her people were pushing him away but Reese actually did a quick interview and then brushed him off herself, nicely.
Howard said that Beth went out for a walk the other day and she had just gotten out of the shower so she asked the guys not to do any interviews. Now they've gone off on him. He played a clip where they had him asking the paparazzi not to do an interview with him because it wasn't a good time for him. They also had Beth blowing them off the day before too.
Howard said that he wants to know who this woman is so he can send people over to her house to watch her every move. Gary came in and said that someone should follow them around the way they have their paparazzi following them around. Howard said that this woman on TMZ is a cunt and he really does want to send people out to watch her. He said that he'll talk to anyone on a red carpet but when he's at his house he doesn't want to do an interview. Gary said that the TMZ people follow people around to their cars and annoy the shit out of everyone.
Howard said that a photographer was taking shots of him one night and a cab hit him. He said he was happy when that happened.
Gary said that the guy who owns TMZ is this guy Harvey Levin and he's openly gay. It turns out that Alec Baldwin got so pissed about them going after him that he went out and outed this guy Harvey. Howard said he really doesn't care.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Artie is great on the show and when he's out there's a little something missing. He told Artie that he's the man. He repeated that a few times before Howard let him go. Another caller said that he saw Howard on TMZ and it was actually kind of amusing. Artie said that report was extra cunty though.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked if they saw Gary Busey just about attacking Jennifer Garner. Howard said he would play it but it was more visual. He said that Gary walked up on stage and Jennifer Garner probably had no idea who he was. Howard played some of the audio even though he thought it might be too long. In the clip you hear Busey interrupting Ryan Seacrest and Ryan kind of brushing him off. Then Ryan does an interview with some women. Then Busey starts kissing Jennifer Garner on the neck and won't let her go. Howard described what was going on in the clip as the audio was playing.
Howard said that he just looked like shit that day and that's why he didn't want to do any interviews that day. He said that he appreciated Harvey calling in and apologizing. He said he was really sorry to Beth and Howard for what they did.
Robin asked if they're going to do anything on the TV show to apologize. Harvey asked Howard if they got any interviews with him this weekend. Howard said he didn't think they did but there are just times when he doesn't want to do any interviews.
Harvey said that the next time they get something on Howard they'll say some nice stuff about him. Howard thanked him for that. He let him go a short time later. Gary said that they tracked Harvey down so he didn't call in on his own. Howard said that he still appreciates him apologizing for that.
Howard heard a strange noise and figured it was coming from Robin's booth. She eventually found that it was one of her two phones ringing in her bag. She said that she has a back up phone and that's the one that was ringing. She said that it was outside of her door and they could still hear it. Robin tried to shut it off but the alarm was still going off. Howard said that there's nothing wrong with the phone, it's the operator. Robin said that the phone was just going off now but it was supposed to go off at 2:30. She had to get up that early because she was at her Jersey Shore house over the weekend. Artie said he's going to have to change his schedule now too and Robin will have to train him.
Howard asked Robin if Jim Florentine was at her house. She said that he wasn't there, it was just her cats. Howard and Artie asked her about having Jim down there for a romantic weekend but she said that he hasn't been there for that.
Howard said that they talked about Gary Coleman recently since he had gotten married. He did another interview where he talked about how he's still a virgin at the age of 40. Howard played a clip of Gary talking about that and how he doesn't choose to be one, it just happens. He said that he's not sure what the problem is. He said that it will happen eventually.
Howard wondered what was going on there. He said he needs to interview that guy and told Gary to book him for the show.
Howard said that he had another audio clip where this reporter says ''sperm'' instead of ''spam'' while talking about e-mail.
Gary came in and said that a fan sent in pictures of Robin and Jim holding hands out in San Francisco over vacation. Howard saw the picture and showed it to Artie. Gary read the letter they got from the fan who sent in the picture. Robin didn't have a lot to say about it. She said that she didn't even know that it was happening because no one said they were taking a picture.
Robin said that maybe Jim was just helping her across the street like an old lady in that picture. Howard said that Robin did say she wanted a young man in her life and now she has it. Robin said that he's not inappropriately young though. He's in his early 40s and Robin is 55.
Howard said that every year around this time they do a Anatomy Awards thing with the best of the nude scenes. Howard read the first one which was for the best breasts. It was a 21 year old by the name of Keeley Hazell in the movie ''Cashback.'' The guys checked out her picture and said that she's got about an E-cup. Howard figured that's what Robin's boobs look like.
Up next was Best Underwear and it was Jessica Biel in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry. Then it was Best TV show For Nude Scenes which was ''Tell Me You Love Me.'' They spent a minute on those two categories. Mr. Skin said that you know a show is great when you see a woman's asshole in a TV show like that. They show very graphic shots like that.
Howard said that they have Best Cartoon Poon and Beowulf was the winner in that one with Angelina Jolie's great looking body being used in the animation. Howard asked Mr. Skin if he's beat off to cartoons before. He said that he has.
Best Movie Short was ''Hotel Chavaleier'' with Natalie Portman in it. He said that she's naked in that scene but you just see her ass. Kelly Garner won for Best Bush from the movie ''Havoc 2.'' Mr. Skin said that you don't get a full bush, just half in that scene.
Mr. Skin said that Katherine Moening from The L Word did a scene with another woman and she won for Best Sex Scene. Mr. Skin had the Best Child Star Nude Scene and Christina Ricci won that one. He said that was in Black Snake Moan. Howard said she's got a fabulous body now.
Howard said that Mr. Skin is celebrating nudity in film. They had a shot of one woman showing the best Ass Crack on an ABC TV show. Mr. Skin said that they let that slip through but at Mr. Skin they go through frame by frame and pull pieces like that out.
Howard said that the next category was Best Thong. Mr. Skin said that it was Cameron Richardson who was the winner there. Breast Picture was ''Good Luck Chuck'' because they had 13 different topless girls and Jessica Alba in her underwear in that one.
Howard asked about a couple more so here are some of those. Best Butt - Gabrielle Richens in ''Hack.'' Best Major League Enhanced Breasts - Jessica Canseco in ''Getting It.''
Artie was thrown off by the nice tits on that Jessica Canseco chick. The guys talked about some other actresses who were pretty hot. Howard had to wrap up a short time later. Howard went through a couple of other winners and kept saying he was going to wrap up. He asked Mr. Skin which of the child stars are looking to see naked. Mr. Skin said that they get a lot of mail about Dakota Fanning and when she's going to finally do something nude. He said that the Olson Twins are getting some requests too.
Mr. Skin asked what Howard thought about Lindsay Lohan's recent topless shots. Howard said he didn't like the look of those boobs but Fred said that if they're natural, like Mr. Skin was saying, then they are nice. Mr. Skin also said that Marissa Tomei appeared topless in a movie called ''Before the Devil Knows You're Dead'' and they wanted to give her an award for that. She's 43 years old but she looks amazing according to Mr. Skin. Howard said she did look good and she has some big areolas and pencil eraser nips.
Artie said that Dana always reminded him of Marissa Tomei. That led to Howard asking Artie about his relationship with her and if anything has changed. He said that things haven't changed. He said that he's still not together with her. Howard said that Artie had a ton of chicks down in Atlantic City who were into him. Artie said that he did have a few who were into him there.
Howard got in a plug for the Man Boob contest they have coming up soon. They're still looking for guys to enter that contest.
Fred asked Mr. Skin what movie had the most topless women in it from last year. They figured it was American Gangster. Mr. Skin said that was probably right. Artie said that the scene in New Jack City when the girls were making heroin was the hottest thing ever. He said that he hurt his cock jerking off to those girls.
Howard said that Mr. Skin should really have an awards show for this Anatomy Awards. Mr. Skin said that he's never tried to give an award to any of these winners but he figures there might be some ''skinterest'' in that. Howard had to end the interview a short time later. He went to break after giving Mr. Skin some more plugs.
Steve said that Big Foot was going to have himself committed last week but then backed out. now he's saying that he may have to get himself arrested to have a place to sleep. Steve said they have another story from Defamer.com where they say that Artie has shot to the top of the celebrity death watch list.
Steve also mentioned that Chuck Zito's show is on tonight at 7. Greg Fitzsimmons' show is on at Midnight and his special guest is Ray Romano.
Jon Hein came in with a preview of the Wrap Up Show. He said they'll be talking about Jimmy Kimmel calling this morning to talk about Eric the Midget. They'll talk about Eric and Kendra as well. They're going to talk about Steve-O's visit and more.
Howard said they have a new contest coming up where you can Win Jon Hein's money if you know TV history more than he does.
Howard said that he got a note from Lennon Murphy and she was correcting them on something they said about Yoko Ono going after her about the copyright. Howard and Robin didn't understand what the correction was about though.
Artie mentioned that George Takei has scolded him for not doing the PSA he promised to do about the use of the word ''fag.'' He said he saved the message and he'll play it on the air if George okays it.
Robin got into her news and read a story about The Globe saying that they have proof that a man had sex with Barack Obama. They also claim that Barack got him cocaine.
Robin read a story about OJ Simpson's girlfriend being under 24 hour surveillance to keep an eye on her and OJ has been banned from the hospital after she showed up there with head injuries. Artie said they turned down some jokes that he wanted to use on Conan's show last week about OJ.
Howard read some e-mail about Richard Lewis' appearance 2 weeks ago. Howard said that a lot of people wrote in about how great it was but then someone sent in an e-mail saying that it was an awful appearance. He said that the thing that really generated a lot of e-mail was Eric the Midget's love song to Kendra. He read through some of that mail. One guy said he had coffee come out his nose when he laughed at it. Another guy said it was worth the subscription price just to hear that song. Howard played the song a short time later. Howard said that the odd thing about Eric's life is that he's always in his room alone. He did the song over the phone and not even in the studio with the guy playing guitar.
Howard said that Dan the Song Parody Man got a hold of Eric's song and edited it. That's what Howard played for Eric earlier in the show. He threw in a bunch of Eric lines that were edited to make him say some dirty stuff.
Artie said he thought that Richard Lewis was great on the show. Howard said he really was good with Artie that day.
Howard said that he doesn't get this Barack Obama thing and why so many people think he's so great. He thinks that the guy is like a televangelist who just has a good rap and has people fooled. Howard went on to talk about some of the stuff he saw about this Barack Obama during vacation. He said that he saw this interview on MSNBC where they asked about his legislative accomplishments and the supporter didn't have an answer for them. The guys spent a few minutes going over what they've heard about Obama and what might happen if they don't use Hillary Clinton as the democratic nominee.
Howard brought an end to the conversation a short time later. He said that there's really nothing going on there with Obama and it's all hype right now. He said that it's turning into a rock star thing with him and he really doesn't want that kind of thing getting someone elected president. He said that he's going to stick by Clinton and hopes that she gets the nomination because she's got someone there who has gone through the presidency and knows what to expect.
Howard asked Robin to move on and said that Hillary should come on the show and maybe ride the Sybian. Robin said that she ran into Michael Bloomberg and asked him if he's going to be running for president. He told her that he can't tell her that because she might tell other people. Robin said that he knew who she was when she saw him out at lunch one day.
Robin read through some more stories about the presidential primaries and about Super Delegates. She talked about Fidel Castro stepping down as the leader of Cuba while they were away on vacation. Howard talked about how they have no idea what's going on around the world down there because Castro has kept the country in the dark for so long.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he's not sure why he's so against Barack Obama. Howard said he's not against him, he just thinks that Hillary is a better choice. He said that he likes Barack better than George Bush. The caller said that Howard should be all for Barack because he doesn't take money from any special interest groups. Howard said, jokingly, that he was going to switch because of that call.
Robin read a story about the FCC fining a bunch of TV stations for airing a show where they showed some scenes of bachelor and bachelorette parties. Each station was being fined $7,000 each.
Robin read a story about Steven Spielberg having dated Valerie Bertinelli. She talks about that and some other things in a new book she has coming out. She talks about a lesbian experience and cheating on her husband, Eddie Van Halen. Howard said it's too bad she didn't admit to killing Nicole Brown Simpson, then it would be a really interesting book.
Robin read a story about a man who was bitten by a shark down in Florida. She asked Howard if he was interested in seeing the offspring of celebrities. Howard said that he's kind of curious about seeing J-Lo's new twins but he doesn't think it's worth the $3-6 million that's being offered by People Magazine. Artie said that's just creepy that they offer that kind of money for pictures like that. Howard said the sad thing is that Gilbert Gottfried was never asked for pictures of his child.
Robin read a story about a woman who killed some of her kids and then tried to kill herself. Fred threw in a few Jackie laughing audio clips while she was talking about that. Howard said that when Jackie was on the show people thought that he was actually laughing and would get pissed off at him. Artie said that's like Robin's cell phone clip that Fred plays now.
Robin talked about the Academy Awards that were on last night and how she thought that Anne Hathaway looked amazing. Howard said that she's too young to be dressing the way she does. He said that the best looking woman there was Jennifer Garner. He said that John Travolta looked very odd too with that hair piece he was wearing. Robin asked if that could possibly be the same guy who was in Saturday Night fever.
The guys spent a couple of minutes going over some of the winners at the Academy Awards last night. Howard seemed to agree that No Country for Old Men deserve the win for Best Picture. He said that it really was a good movie.
Howard played some of the clips of the songs that were nominated for the best music. He said that it was all bullshit and they were all horrible. He said that Big Orange Marble (a reference to Jackie the Joke Man's ex-wife Nancy's old band) was better than that stuff.
Howard played some clips of Jon Stewart doing some of his stuff at the Academy Awards. He thought he did just fine as the host. Robin had some other clips from some award winners acceptance speeches and stuff like that. They wrapped up a short time later and ended the show around 11:05am.
Artie said that his comedy thing and hanging with his friends reminded him of the days when he was out trying to make it big in the comedy world. He said that they all went out to some bars and hung out eating and drinking at some great places. He said that he ended up going out all night and crashed at a friend's house a couple of nights.
Artie said that his friend always told him that he wasn't going to make it past 3 weeks working the hours he has to work on the show. He said that he still hasn't been able to get used to it after 7 years.
Gary said that really threw Jackie off too when they first went to mornings. He said that Jackie would be passed out on the couch when he'd come in on a Monday morning.
Artie said that the same thing happened to him and he'd have to crash after a weekend of doing comedy shows. He said he was trying to pull all nighters so he could stay out and drink and do his shows and then do the Stern Show. He said that he realized that it was more important to be funny on the Stern Show than anywhere else.
Jon said that they're going to talk about a lot of stuff including Artie's weekend in Atlantic City with Jeff the Drunk. Artie said that he's pissed that Teddy isn't back yet. He's over in Italy and didn't make it back because he missed his flight back last week. He said that it really pissed him off and he wanted to tell him to stay over there and not come back after he got a text from him telling him what was going on.
Artie said that Jim and JD came down to A.C. with him and handled all of his buddies down there. they had a sold out room of 2,600 people. He said the show went real well and he had an hour of new material that he was doing. Artie explained how Howard showed up to the show and how much fun he had there. He was insulated from the bullshit of Jeff the Drunk and the other stuff that went on back stage though.
JD said that he had to put up with Jeff back stage. He had a bunch of other stuff to do there though. Jim said that they really treat people well back stage there at the Borgata but Jeff was such a pain in the ass. They were threatening to throw out Jeff the Drunk because he was smoking back there in the dressing room. They don't allow smoking there so Jim told them to just throw him out of they had to.
Gary said that Jeff has no right to be complaining about anything. They got him a nice room in the Borgata and he only had to go on stage for 10 seconds. He said that he still had the balls to complain about it. Jim said that Jeff was even selling his CDs outside of the venue too.
Gary said that if Jeff could just put together 2 minutes of material, Artie would probably use him more. It sounds like he comes completely unprepared. Artie said that some people think that the stand-up thing is no big deal but you really need something to say up there. Jeff the Drunk apparently suffers from that and he has nothing to say.
Gary said that Beetlejuice is able to be himself up on stage and keep the crowd entertained somehow. Artie said that Beetlejuice has got the presence of Richard Pryor on stage even if you can't understand a word he's saying.
The guys talked about Jeff and how he fell down back at K-Rock when he was leaving the show one day. They talked about how funny that video was. Gary said that he could watch that over and over again. Artie said that he thinks that it's the funniest thing that has ever been on TV.
Gary asked Artie if Jeff has annoyed him out of a job yet. Artie said he hasn't but that probably has to do with Jim and JD handling all of the bullshit. He said that he just mailed Jeff a check today and he hopes he can cash it because he's not sure if he has a relationship with a bank. Jeff told him that he wanted it made out to cash but then he said that Jeff was okay. Gary said he could do a check cashing place if he had to.
Artie said that he had a teacher in high school who ended up marrying a student and went to work for her family, that may have been connected, and probably tripled his salary working at her family's check cashing place. He said that place took 15 percent off the top.
Artie said he had to get going. He got in a plug for a show he has coming up soon and Jon asked him about his Conan appearance last week. Artie said he loves doing that show and he's been doing it for almost a decade now. He said that Conan has been doing the show for 15 years now and that's 4 years longer than Letterman did his show at NBC.
Artie said that Conan is less stress to him than doing Letterman. He said he knows Conan well enough now that he's relaxed going on. He said that it was tough going on Howard's show too for the first time because he was a hero of his.
Gary said that Steve-O seems to be that break-out guy from Jackass that really seems to have set himself apart from the others.
Jon took a phone call from a guy who brought up how out of control Steve-O was today and how he kept cutting off Howard. The guy thinks that Steve is too out of control. He said that he should be more responsible about doing drugs and stuff too because he's a role model to a lot of kids. Gary said that it's up to the parents to control their kids and what they do.
Another caller said that Steve had to have been on something today other than the weed. Gary said that he claimed it was just the weed but he did talk about some of the other drugs he's into and that stuff was pretty hard core.
The caller thought that Howard kind of rushed Steve-O out of the studio but Gary said he didn't think that was the case. He said that Steve was kind of talking a little too much and it was a lot of just noise but it got good when Steve was rapping along to his album.
Jon asked Gary if he thinks that Steve should stick to being a rapper or not. Gary said he thinks that he's more of a Weird Al type of rapper and he's not sure if Steve is even taking it that seriously. They had to go to break a short time later.
Jon asked if Howard really does talk to those people at times. Gary said that he thinks that he does talk to them once in a while and he's very nice about it. He said that he actually loves that TMZ show and watches it every night.
Shuli was in and asked Gary if he thinks that Harvey was sincere when he apologized. Gary thought he was but Shuli said that the guy knew it was coming, he admitted that he was worried about it all weekend. Gary said that Howard can trash someone every morning so that's why they wanted to bring a stop to it as quickly as possible.
Gary said that he saw the pictures of Marissa Tomei on MrSkin.com and she really did look great in that movie they talked about earlier this morning. Mr. Skin had some other categories that he wanted to get to during the show but they never did get to them. He talked about some of the stuff that they didn't get to. They talked about Holly Hunter's scenes that were shown on TNT and how surprising that was.
The guys were also talking about some of the other cable shows that are on and how graphic they've been getting lately. Mr. Skin said that even The L Word is getting more graphic with their sex scenes and they were already pretty out there.
Gary said that he's still waiting for that Evangeline Lily from ''Lost'' to do a nude scene. He said that he needs Lost to start sucking so she has to do something like that to revive her career. Mr. Skin said that's usually what happens. They either do a nude scene before they make it big or after their star has faded.
The guys talked about Molly Ringwald and how she didn't do a nude scene until she was in her 30s. They talked about how it was too late for her to be doing that kind of stuff though.
Jon asked about the Lindsay Lohan pictures that they were talking about earlier. Mr. Skin said that he thought that Howard was going to love those pictures but he didn't seem to be into them. Mr. Skin said that everyone is talking about them and this might be a great thing for her career. Gary said that she has no career though. She hasn't been in anything that made money.
Benjy asked Mr. Skin if they are real or not. Mr. Skin thinks that they're real but the pictures weren't moving so he can't give his professional thoughts on that without seeing them move.
A caller asked about Katie Holmes and if she's in anything topless. Mr. Skin said that she's in ''The Gift'' that was out in 2000. He said a lot of people were happy about seeing them.
Another caller asked Mr. Skin about the movie ''Knocked Up'' and how they used his web site in the movie. Mr. Skin said that he was more than happy to let them use it in the movie and trusted that they were going to use it in a positive way. He said that it was great publicity and they were able to make a fake page with ''Mr. Skin'' huge so everyone would see it during the movie. He said that it's going to be great when they start showing it on TV they'll get another big bump.
Shuli said that Mr. Skin can name movies that actresses have been in kind of like that show ''Name that Tune.'' He said they could call it Name that Poon. Gary threw out the name Kathy Bates to Mr. Skin and he was able to come up with a movie where she shows off some skin.
A caller asked Mr. Skin about Jessica Simpson and a nip slip that she had in a movie. Mr. Skin said that they actually analysed the shot the guy was talking about and said that it was more of a shadow than an actual nip slip.
Benjy asked about some accidental vagina shots that may have gotten out. Mr. Skin said that there was a movie that Susan Hayward did where her whole breast came out and they didn't censor it out. That was back in the 50s though. He said that there were some nip slips in Charlie's Angels that have just been found in recent days because of DVD. He said that they found a good one from one episode that they have up on MrSkin.com.
One caller said he thought that Jessica Alba was naked in a movie but Mr. Skin told him that it was a body double, not actually her breasts. Jon had to wrap up a short time later so he let everyone get in their plugs.
Howard started off the show with a clip from a local Buffalo station that was airing the Oscar's. They had an open mic there and they were talking over the show and it was way better than what was going on. Howard explained the clip and then played some of it. In the clip you can hear someone in the background saying that he didn't believe in the Oscar bullshit but the movie of the year was good. Howard said that it's kind of like Eric the Midget's show where he talks about American Idol.
Howard played more of the clip where a couple of people were discussing the movie ''No Country for Old Men.'' Howard interrupted and asked if anyone was watching the Terminator TV show. Robin said that she got into it finally. Howard said that he thinks that chick playing the Terminator is really hot but Robin didn't think so. Howard said that Robin has proven that she's heterosexual to him lately. He said that she's dating Jin Florentine and doesn't like the hot chick on that show. He said that a lot of people thought she was a lesbian for the longest time but not anymore.
Howard said that he never thought that Robin was gay. Same with Ralph. Robin said she thinks he might be but then said she was kidding. Howard said that dating Jim is a great idea because now people don't think she's gay.
Howard said that Robin is in the Honeymoon phase right now so things are still exciting. He said that he was talking to Beth about how she doesn't grab his penis anymore and she wondered why he doesn't tell her to do that. He said that in the past he never had to ask her to do it, she'd just do it. He doesn't want to ask her to do things like that.
Howard said that Robin might be falling in love with Jim and one of the must fun things you can do in that Honeymoon phase is to go on honeymoons. He said that they've been going to different places and they're probably fucking all over the place. Fred did his Jim impression and told Robin ''There's the Golden Gate Bridge... blow me.''
Howard asked Robin where she went last week. She said that she was in Napa Valley with Jim Florentine. Fred, as Jim, said that he was in Robin's Lap-a while they were in Napa. Howard said that Jim has become like one of Robin's girlfriends going out all over the place with her.
Robin said that Jim was in Napa with her until a Thursday after going out there on a Sunday. They spent most of the week together. Howard said that she's not going to care when the real honeymoon comes around. Howard said he used to bring Beth out to Hawaii and places like that when he was in that phase.
Howard asked Robin how she and Jim work the paying for stuff. Robin said she met him out there in California because he was already doing something out there. Robin said that she was going out there even if he wasn't there. He just happened to be there.
Robin said that people out in Napa take her out to dinner and pay for stuff for her because they like her. She said that Jim was picking up the tab out there too. Howard said that she must reward him handsomely. He said that she must put out like crazy for him. He figured that she puts on some lingerie for him since he knows that she must have some. He said that he's seen her in some stuff that is very close to lingerie and he can picture her in that stuff prancing around in front of Jim.
Robin said that she's not sure that this relationship can work out because Shuli was telling her a story about Jim and what he did to his girlfriend recently. He said that Jim farted in his car and closed the door and Shuli's girlfriend ended up throwing up from the smell. Artie said that Jim has some farts that are really nasty and he's seen Jim drop one and a whole group of people will disperse.
Robin said that she's never been around Jim when he farts so she figured that he had changed. She had Shuli swear that he had just done that recently and he did. Howard asked Robin if she really wanted to know what the real Jim is like. She said ''No!'' and that he's told her that he's matured and doesn't even do that stuff anymore.
Howard asked Robin if she was out drinking wine out in Napa. Robin said that's what you do all day out there. She said that you drink all day and at dinner, not just during dinner. She said that she goes to wineries and she has developed a palette for that stuff. She said she enjoys investigating wine like that. She said that she's not drinking it every day now, she may not have anymore for months.
Howard asked Robin about the wine drinking and if she eats while she drinks. She said that she just does the wine tasting, she doesn't have to eat with it. Howard asked if she could tell a good wine from a bad one if he set up a tasting. She said that she can only taste what she likes and doesn't like.
Robin said that Jim was trying to get her to do Jaeger shots with him when they were out. Howard said that he thought only 14 year olds did that. Robin said that she was out at a couple of places with Jim and found out that they had to do shots of the Jaeger with PBR which is Pabst Blue Ribbon. She said she learned all kinds of stuff out there.
Howard said that Robin and Jim must be connecting in some way and he thinks that it's good for her. Artie said that he's jealous and he'd like to be out there in Napa drinking some PBR with some shots.
Howard got back to the tape from Buffalo but he was right at the end of it already. He said that it was pretty funny. The guys spent a minute talking about what was said in the tape and Artie said that the guy's description of that movie ''No Country for Old Men'' was kind of like his uncle's description of Buffy the Vampire Slayer which was simply ''Jew broad fights vampires.''
Howard read the statement that the station released after letting that background audio air over the Oscar's. They apologized for what they did and said it didn't go on too long.
Eric said that the relationship wasn't a sham and they don't have to have sex just to make it real. Howard said that Eric is 32 years old and he's never gotten laid. Eric said that there are couples that go all the way through to their marriage night before having sex. Robin said that Gary Coleman is 40, married, and still a virgin.
Howard said that he thought that this girl was using Eric for publicity but he'd like to hear Eric's explanation about what went on there. Eric said that he was thinking about what he said yesterday and thought more about how he'd like to play a ''closer'' field because he and Kendra live so far apart. He said that it would cost them a lot of money to keep it going.
Eric was also upset about the way Jimmy Kimmel was treating him yesterday. He said that he treated him like an asshole. He was also upset about how upset Kendra got when he was talking about him like that. Howard said that Kendra wasn't spending any money to visit Eric and Eric wasn't spending any money on her either so he's not sure what money he's talking about.
Eric said that he didn't pay for that trip but Kendra did pay for her plane ticket to go out there to California. He said that Johnny paid for her hotel though. Robin asked him why he'd end it if she spent a couple hundred bucks.
Howard said that he thinks that he's done with this stuff but then Eric told him that he's done with him for good and hung up on him. Howard said that all good things come from this show and he tries to help Eric out and all he does is get pissed off and hang up on them. He said that he's the guy that got him on Jimmy Kimmel the other night and that's the way he treats him.
Robin thinks that Eric was caught in a lie and this is his way out of it. Howard said that he still hasn't come clean and he will call back.
Howard played the clip where Cramer was talking about how much time has been spent on this merger and how they've had 4 meetings over it and that's 3 more than they've had for bigger mergers in this country's history. Cramer went on to talk about the congressmen who are taking money from terrestrial radio companies. This is why the merger is being held up so long. Robin said that Jim mentioned ethanol during that discussion and she's read that it's a bunch of bull that ethanol can help our oil crisis and it's congressmen who are pushing for it because they're being paid off.
Howard played more of Cramer going off on the congressmen and naming names. He named a couple of guys who have taken around 10 grand and they're being paid off with that small amount of money. Cramer said they called this one guy but they didn't get back to them about this merger. Cramer named a second congressman who took some money. That one wouldn't return their calls either. Cramer named a couple of others who took money from the NAB.
Howard said that Cramer had some great explanations of what's going on with this merger and how no one is bothering to look at how cars are being produced with iPod connections but no one is worried about that. Cramer named a few more names in the clips Howard was playing. Cramer was calling all of the congressmen out and asking them to come on his show and explain to him why this is getting so much time and why they think that it's a bad thing for Americans.
Howard said that he only played about 3 minutes of a 12 minute rant. He said that it was a great segment and Jim made some good points. He said that they're really trying to slow this whole thing down so both companies will go bankrupt. So far they're doing a good job because the merger has been delayed over a year now.
Howard said that there's all kinds of competition but they still think that this is some kind of monopoly. He said that Jim was saying that he has XM in one car and SIRIUS in another car. He likes to listen to football games on SIRIUS and other stuff on XM. Howard said that they should just stand up and give an answer instead of dragging this out so long.
Howard took another couple of calls. Melrose Larry Green called in and said ''fuck Eric the Midget, he's yesterday's news'' and then went on to say that he thinks that Robin and Jim will end up getting married some day. He said that he thinks that they're getting along so well that they will end up getting married. Howard said that he agrees with Larry and he thinks that they will get married.
Another caller said that he thinks that Robin and Jim are really getting along really well and he can't believe how thin Robin is looking these days. Howard said that her ass really looks good and he thinks that she was checking out the picture that the fan took of her and Jim walking in San Francisco holding hands.
Robin said that she wasn't checking out that picture, she doesn't like looking at herself. Another phone caller pointed out that she has a giant picture of herself in her house. That guy said that he actually enjoyed the Steve-O interview yesterday. Howard said that he liked it too but the e-mail feedback about him was very negative.
Howard read through some of the e-mail about Steve-O's interview and how messed up he sounded. Some people wondered what he did before he came in there. It was all negative e-mail. The caller said that it reminded him of the Sam Kinison or Joe Walsh days when they'd come in all wasted. Howard read through a few more e-mails and they were all negative toward Steve-O.
Howard asked Artie if he's going to try and get himself into shape to go over there. Fred said that he really should because it's not going to be easy to get around over there. Artie said that he'll be fine. Fred said that he really has to do something to get into shape.
Howard told Artie that he should pull himself together before he goes. Artie said that it would be better to die over there doing that than die after doing some tiny club in some small town here in this country.
Howard asked Riley what the name of the club is. Riley thought it was Bob Levy's comedy club and it's located at a Ramada Inn in Levittown, PA. Artie said he's doing a couple of nights there himself. He said that Bob is desperate to book anyone he can there.
Riley said that he's going to be doing some comedy at the club, but just a little bit. He said that he will let the audience decide how long his set is. Artie laughed when he heard that. Riley said that if he went to see Artie he'd want him to leave the stage when he was about ready to puke.
Howard said he wants to send the Howard TV crew there to film this comedy act. Riley said that he'd be fine with that. He said that he'd like Howard and the guys to come out and see him sometime. He got in a couple of plugs for the shows he's doing this Friday and Saturday night.
JD asked if Riley will be doing karaoke there at the club because that's one of the things they do there. Riley said that he would be willing to do that because he can sing. He said that he can get paid more doing this appearance than he gets paid to do his show there at SIRIUS. Howard said that they pay him to do the show so he can make money doing gigs like this.
Riley was still upset that he doesn't make as much money as he thinks he should. Howard told him to stop doing it then. He said that if he's not happy he should go elsewhere. Riley said that's what he will do when his next contract negotiation is up.
Howard said that he has nothing to do with the negotiations there or what they pay Riley. Riley seems to think that he does have something to do with that though. Howard asked Riley what kind of money he's making doing his ''other shows'' that he's doing. Riley said that he is making money from the sponsors he has on his other shows and he doesn't need to be treated the way he's treated there.
Howard said that he wanted an intelligent answer and asked him why he doesn't leave this place if he doesn't like what he's getting paid. Riley said that he knows that the show is popular and he doesn't want to leave. He said he'd like more time to do his show every week. Howard told Riley that Tim Sabean is in charge of what kind of time they give Riley one hour a week so that's what he gets.
Howard asked Riley why he keeps signing contracts if he's not happy with the money he's making. Riley said that he's proven that he's a viable entity and he's hoping that they'll recognize that and pay him more. Riley said he has a couple of months left on his contract there. Howard said that if they offer him another contract, what is he going to do? Riley went on to insult Howard by calling him names and telling him that he's cheap. He wanted him to do the right thing for once in his life.
Howard told Riley that he gives no one a job and doesn't pay anyone anything. Riley said he does have a staff but Howard said that he can just imagine what he's paying those people. Howard said that no one is stopping Riley from going out and getting a terrestrial radio show. Riley told Howard that he'd like to see the company succeed and he likes Howard and the guys. He said that it's no skin off their nose to pay him what he deserves.
Howard said that he likes Riley so much that he thinks that they should just drop the contract at the end of the run and let him go. He doesn't want him to have this anger toward him. He said that it's probably time for him to move on to other things so he doesn't have this anger and hate toward him.
After Howard gave Riley the advice about moving on, Riley went off on him saying that they've never treated him right and they've said some things about him that just aren't true. Howard said he's sorry he ever offered him this slot. He said that this has only caused him to have delusions of grandeur. Riley said that if he didn't want to be there, he wouldn't be. Howard told Riley that he has nothing to do with what anyone else there gets paid. He said that they all go to SIRIUS and ask to be paid. He said that he's said that about Riley but Riley seems to think he has something to do with what he gets paid when he doesn't.
Howard said he's suggested to them that they pay Riley more but if they can't see to it to give him more, he has no control over that. Riley said that's all he wants Howard to do. Howard and Robin told him that he's done that already but Riley doesn't seem to think that's what he's doing.
Howard said that he thinks that Riley should be getting $10 million to do his show. Riley said that's great, he just needs to tell the right people that. Howard said that he really needs to go out to other companies to see what kind of jobs are out there. He said that would be a great bargaining chip for him to have. He told Riley to go out and do that now.
Howard gave Riley some plugs for the show he's doing at Bob Levy's comedy club. He asked him some more questions about what he'll be doing there. He said that he'll be selling some merchandise there after doing his time on stage. Robin asked Riley about what color his wife is. Riley said that she has skin and wouldn't say that she was white. Gary said that she is white and she's pretty good looking too. Robin wondered about that because he was saying stuff about her and Jim Florentine dating. Howard had to go to break a short time later.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. She came in and said that they have a sad piece of news to report this morning. Artie's grandma Caprio died two mornings ago. Artie said that she had become a bit of a celebrity after Howard did the impression of her. He said that the paramedics knew who she was and they moved her to the front of the line and gave her a private room because of that whole Grandma Caprio thing that Howard had been doing.
Artie said that his grandmother was very close with him and she was his mother's mother. Robin said that Howard is going to have to do his impression as if she was calling from the other side. Howard tried that out and did his impression for a few seconds as if he were calling in from Heaven.
Howard said that Nick Di Paolo asked him to get up on stage down at the Borgata last week. He said he almost did it and he was going to do his Grandma Caprio impression. He said that he decided against it though. Howard went into his Grandma Caprio impression and asked Artie if Dana is going to come to her funeral. Artie said that she probably will. Artie also said that this was very touching.
Grandma asked Artie not to bring any of his Vegas whores to the funeral. She just wants Dana there. Artie aid that it's really sad because she was like the last connection they had to that generation in his family. He said that the funeral is tomorrow and he had to get a suit to wear to it. He said he had to let out his pants from one suit he had. He said that he just had them altered and he hates wearing a suit. He said that his uncle asked him to do part of the eulogy so he has to do that in the suit.
Howard continued to do his impression of Grandma Caprio and told Artie what she'd like to see at the funeral. She was upset most by the fact that the bookie never paid Artie all the money he owed to him. Artie said that guy actually wanted to come to the funeral but he told him that it might be best if he didn't.
Lisa said that they spoke to George Takei about the PSA that Artie was supposed to shoot. He was upset about that and upset about the tirade Artie went on against High Pitch Mike. She said that they also talked to George about almost falling down after tripping over Anne Hathaway's red dress on the red carpet.
Howard wondered why George went to the show. Artie said that it's like the gay Super Bowl. That led to the guys talking about a couple of kids who won the chance to be on the red carpet. Artie said that this one kid looked like he had just been pulled out of a locker at school. Gary said they were working on pulling that clip for Howard.
Lisa ran through a few more stories that they were going to be covering today. Howard let her go and then moved on to the next segment.
Howard went into his Grandma Caprio impression again and told Artie not to bring Gina to her funeral. Artie said he was just thinking that he might want to bring her.
Howard told Gina about this game they were going to play with her. They're going to have delivery guys come up there and if she can convince these guys not to take a tip, he'll give her 5 plugs. He said that she's got to use all of her powers to just get the guy to turn down the tip to see her naked. He said that they're going to offer them tips of $50 and she has to try and get them to turn that down. Gina said that she might start kissing their necks and how erect her nipples are to turn them on. She'll also start showing them body parts and rub up against them.
Howard said that he has to wait to promote her stuff until after the game. He said he was on her web site but he didn't want to say what it was yet. He asked her about the movies she's made and the kind of sex she has with guys who haven't been circumsized and stuff like that. She told Howard about what she does with guys like that. Howard asked Robin if she's ever had an uncircumcised guy. She said she hasn't and she wouldn't know what to do with that.
Gina said that she's never smelled smegma or anything from guys but she has smelled some nasty balls before. She's pretty sure it's not their asses, it's just their balls. She said that she asks her husband to clean his balls before they have sex so he doesn't stink.
Gina said that she's been married for 8 years and her husband has a 13 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. She said that they went on a cruise one time and a bunch of boys were following her around and the son said that she's hot, that's why they were following her. Gina said that was kind of creepy to hear from him because he had never said it before.
Gina said that the son had emptied out her bra drawer one time when he was younger and kept that stuff under his pillow.
Howard heard that Gina's husband broke his penis. Gina said that was true and she was kind of upset about the way it happened. She said that he was doing another porn star by the name of Angelique. Gina said that she wanted to work with her so she set her up with her husband and he apparently wasn't into her.
Howard heard that the delivery guy was there so he had them bring the guy in. Artie was laughing hysterically when the guy came in. He said that this was perfect. Howard asked the guy if he had ever gotten a $50 tip before. He said that he biggest he ever got was $30. Howard told the guy that they were going to give him either $50 or Gina. He then had Gina tell Jorge what she was going to do for him to try and get him to turn down the 50 bucks.
Howard spoke to Jorge for a few minutes and then had Gina tell him what she was going to do for him. Howard asked the guy what he would rather have, the 50 bucks or Gina's boobs. He thought for a moment and then Gina said that she would let him play with her nipples too. Two minutes of nipple play. They had an interpreter there to help out with the explanation. The guy rattled off what was going on and they waited for his answer.
The interpreter told Howard that Jorge said that it was difficult to make the decision. Howard told the interpreter to tell him what he could do. He asked Jorge for his final answer and Jorge picked Gina. Everyone cheered for him when he made the decision. Howard was doing some Salsa dancing for a few seconds. Then Robin told him to offer the guy more money.
Howard asked Jorge if he would still take Gina if he offered him $75. Jorge stuck with Gina. He was able to speak some English but they still used the interpreter. Howard told Gina to do her thing and take off her top. Jorge said that she was beautiful when she took off her top. Then Gina took off her pants at Howard's request.
Howard asked Gina to get ready for Jorge to play with her. She took her pants all the way off. They asked Jorge how many women he had before. He said that he had about 5 or 6 but none of them like this. They set the clock and let Jorge go for it with her. They asked Jorge how they felt and he said they were nice. He played with her nipples and Gina said that it was actually nice.
Artie said that it would be funny if they just had Jorge arrested right then. Gina said that he was taking full advantage of this whole thing. He was playing with her boobs for the full 2 minutes. Jorge said that his favorite part of a woman is the boobs so he was having some fun. Gina asked Jorge how big his cock was but he just laughed.
The two minutes were up so Howard had to stop Jorge. Gina gave him a hug and a kiss when he was all done. He was still holding on to her hand. Howard gave him $100 even though they said they weren't going to tip him. Robin asked what he's going to tell his girlfriend when she asks how work was today. He said that it was a wonderful day.
Howard let Jorge go and then gave Gina some plugs for her web site GinaLynn.com. She said that they have a special deal today and people can join for 3 bucks for 3 days access.
Howard had the next delivery guy come in. His name was Caesar. Howard spoke to him for a few seconds and told him about the deal they had going there. Caesar didn't speak much English so the interpreter had to help out a bit more than with the last guy. Howard asked Caesar how big the biggest tip was that he ever got. His was $30 just like Jorge. Howard told the guy he was ready to give him a $50 tip or he can give Gina a 2 minute massage on her boobs. Howard said that Caesar's eyes lit up when he heard that. Howard asked him what he wanted. Caesar didn't have an answer at first so the guys asked him some questions and found out he's married.
Howard asked again what he wanted, the 50 buck tip or the 2 minute tit massage. Caesar chose Gina. Howard moved the tip up to $75 and asked again. He stuck with Gina. Howard let him sit on the couch and then asked him a few more questions about what he wanted to see Gina wearing. He wanted to see everything but asked her to leave her boots on.
Howard started the clock and let Caesar start his 2 minute massage. He said that they felt good to him. Gina said that he was much more gentle than the last guy was. Howard asked Caesar what his favorite part of the woman's body was, boobs, ass or vagina. He picked the ass. Gina told him he could touch her ass if he wanted. He felt her up and then Gina said that he could spank her a little bit. He let out a good whack. Gina told him to do it more so he gave her a few more whacks.
Howard asked Caesar if he had a boner. He said he did have a little bit. Howard gave him $100 for coming in and helping them out. Artie asked if they could do the same game with his salary. Howard told Gina that not every woman can change a man's mind on a tip like that. She did a good job getting them to do what they did.
Howard thanked Wellington, the interpreter, for helping them out. He also gave Gina a few more plugs for her web site and her latest movie that's coming out. He said that he was on her web site and she's got a lot of stuff going on there.
Howard asked Gina about her husband's penis breaking. She said that he had injected something into it that day and he gave it too much, about 6 times too much, and it was hard for about 6 or 7 hours. She said that they had to inject it with a bunch of needles to get the blood out of it and now it curves to the right and it has some scar tissue on it. She said that it's kind of annoying because she has to go in at an angle now.
Gina said that her husband, Travis, is trying to find a urologist to help him out. Howard had Travis come in so he talked to him about the broken penis. He told them what he used to inject his penis and it was something like Caverjet. He said that he thought that he would never use anything like that but he wasn't able to find anything attractive about that girl he was doing. He said he could have fucked a brick wall after taking that shot.
Travis said he had a hard on for 10 hours and it was painful. He said that it looked like it was going to explode because it was so engorged. He said that he actually took just 2 times as much stuff as he was supposed to, not 6. Travis told Howard that he can still perform but if the girl comes down too hard it catches the penis and hurts him.
Howard took some phone calls and let some people comment on what they had just done. Howard said that the looks on the delivery guy's faces were great. Artie said that the first guy looked like Abbot and Costello when they were mice in one of their movies. One caller said that this is the first time he wished that he was a Mexican delivery guy.
Howard told Gina he hopes that this penis thing doesn't break up the marriage. She said that they still have sex so they'll be fine. Howard gave her a few more plugs for her movie ''Interactive'' and for her web site before he went to break.
Eric the Midget was back on the phone so Howard picked up on him and said he knew he couldn't stay away. Eric said that he can stay away. Howard told him that he wouldn't have had his internet show and Kendra if it wasn't for the show.
Eric told Howard to shove his show up his fuckin' ass. He said that he can't believe that he's taking this guy Patrick's word over his. Howard said that he was just worried about Eric and he doesn't even know who Patrick is. Eric said that he can't believe that Howard doesn't think that Johnny could be concerned about him too. Robin didn't know what Johnny had to do with the whole thing.
Eric said that Johnny wouldn't allow that to happen to him and he's as much of a friend to him as Howard is. Eric said that he doesn't need this shit anymore. He said that he has an extremely beautiful girlfriend that he never broke up with yesterday. Eric said that was all fake. He said that they did that to get their dumb asses off of their back. Howard said that he's a liar and he should just admit it.
Eric said that he's not a liar, he's an actor. He said that the break up was a scam, not the relationship. Howard pointed out that Eric was just lying earlier in the show when he said that they weren't going to date because it was too expensive. Howard told Eric to admit he's a liar but Eric said that he was just acting.
The guys told Eric that lying isn't acting. He didn't have a script in front of him when he was doing it. Howard told him that there's a lot of lying going on there and he knew that it was a lie yesterday when he saw Eric smiling. Robin said that's bad acting and he's Eric the Bad Actor.
Howard said he's not sure why Eric is mad at him when Eric is the one lying. Howard asked him whose idea it was to lie on the show. Eric said it wasn't a lie, it was acting. He didn't want to say whose idea it was to lie. Then he said that it was his idea to do the break up thing.
Howard said that maybe this is all an act then. Artie said that they might find out that he's been acting like an asshole all this time and he's really not one. Howard asked Eric why he was confessing now. Eric said that he was listening to it in his head and it made him kind of feel bad. Eric said that Kendra was in on it but it still made him feel bad.
Howard asked Eric if he's really not going to do the show anymore. Eric said he really isn't going to do it. Gary asked him if he thinks that anyone will be tuning in to find out about him if he stops calling the show. Eric said that he's sure that Kendra is going to stay with him even if he's not on the show. Howard told him that all of his powers will go away when he stops doing the show.
Howard told Eric that he knows Johnny and Kendra through this show and he got on Jimmy Kimmel through the show. Eric said that he's tired of taking the abuse from them about this stuff. Howard even pointed out that he swore on the life of his mother yesterday that he wasn't lying about the relationship with Kendra. He asked Eric if he wanted to say something about that. Eric said that was a mistake. He didn't even want to apologize for what he said.
Howard asked Eric if he wasn't sorry for that because his mother made him a midget. Eric got pissed at Howard and said that it shows what an asshole he really is. Howard said that maybe it's a psychological thing and he hides this anger inside of him because of the way he turned out. Eric said that he's an ignorant asshole.
Howard said he doesn't understand Eric's logic there and he's not sure what's going on with him anymore. He wondered what happened to that sweet guy he used to know.
Eric said that this guy Patrick made up a bunch of stuff about his relationship with Kendra and that's one thing he's pissed off about. Howard said that it doesn't appear to be made up after this lie that he and Kendra pulled yesterday. Eric said that his bullshit meter is broken and he needs to get that fixed. Howard said that the only thing that's broken is his heart. He said that he was the one who told Jimmy Kimmel to let Eric on his show and now he regrets doing that.
Howard said that Eric has to stop blaming other people for this stuff. Eric was blaming the news team. Howard said he had Patrick on the phone and he wanted to talk about what's going on here. Eric said that this wasn't the real Patrick after he went off on Eric for wasting his time on the air.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he had something to say to Eric the Pillow Fucker. Howard said that's not his name and played one of those made up clips where he says ''Eric the Chicken Shit Midget.''
Howard told Eric he can't force him to call in, that's his business. He told him to think that through and do what he has to do, he's a grown man. Eric said that not calling the show is a good decision. Howard said that he just said that he wasn't going to call the show again earlier this morning and he's already back on the phone.
Eric said that he will not be calling the show again. Robin said that he's made those decisions before but he always comes back. Howard said that Johnny will be on the phone with him today telling him to call back. Eric said that Johnny is sick of the way Jimmy Kimmel treated him yesterday and Johnny doesn't want him to call in anymore.
Eric said that Jimmy treated him like an asshole and he didn't like it. Artie told him that Jimmy was just acting, just like Eric was when he lied yesterday. Eric said that he's at the point in his life where he has everything he needs. He has JFSC and Kendra. Robin said that even the JFSC had a scroll going that said they still love Howard. Eric gave them a ''Goodbye for good'' as he was saying goodbye. Howard said ''goodbye for now'' and said that they'd see what happens. He thinks that Johnny will be getting him to call in. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said that Jay Thomas stopped by this morning to say hello. He has a show there on channel 102. He said that Jay is actually quite delightful to talk to. Jay said that Gary was telling him a story about his kid out in the hall and he was pretending to be interested. Jay said that the story was boring out in the hall but Gary came in and started to explain it to Howard.
Howard asked Jay if he watched the Academy Awards. Jay said that he did and he was kind of upset that a hooker (stripper Diablo Cody) won an award after the writers went on strike to make a little more money. He said that the movie was about a little slut too and he thinks that strippers are like hookers too. They spent a couple of minutes talking about Diablo and her Oscar win. Jay said that he's pretty sure that Diablo Cody will never write another movie that anyone cares about.
Jay talked about the women that were at the Oscar's and how they're not that hot. if they were hot, then maybe they'd have men with them.
Jay talked to Howard about how he and his wife wanted to get their kids into a special school and they ended up seeing Jaime Lee Curtis and Bruce Springsteen there when they went to visit. Jay said that his son has some issues and he's not really mentally stable and used to try and strangle other kids in the ball pit at school. He said that now he builds guns. Howard said that it seems like he might have a bit of a violent streak in him.
Jay talked about seeing Alex Trebek at this school he wanted to get his kids into. Jay's son tried to bite a kid and that led to them getting him a shadow teacher that would follow him around the whole time. That cost him $400 extra a week to do that. He said he got really mad at that so he wanted to stick him in a public school so he could fit right in with that violent streak.
Jay said that it's very tough to love a kid like this. He's had all kinds of people trying to figure him out and give him help. He said that they eventually left the school and they gave them their money back. He said they went to some school run by Lesbians and he was fine there. Jay said that the shee-shee schools are a waste of time.
Howard asked Jay about the rebuilding of New Orleans because he's not too happy that they are rebuilding. Jay said that it was actually a good thing because it cleared out a lot of people that they don't want down there. He said it was nice when it changed for the better after they left. Jay said that Brad Pitt should be helping to rebuild in his neighborhood, not in the neighborhoods he's working in. He said that he actually rented out his house to some people and the house ended up getting wrecked.
Jay told Howard that they had some crazy stuff going on down there when Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were down there. He said that there was one woman down there who was trying to cut Brad's hair off so she could clone him. He said that he's not sure why they're rebuilding down there because that's the kind of people that are coming back into the neighborhoods they're rebuilding.
Jay told Howard that he's signed on to stay at SIRIUS for another 2 years. He said that he does his show from California and one in New Orleans so he can bounce around through those places and even do the show from there in New York. Howard said that he thinks it would be weird to do a show the way Jay does because he has people all over the country doing the show with him. Jay said that he doesn't pretend to have them in the same room with him. Howard said that it's still weird to him. Jay said you don't need to see everyone you talk to, it's like talking on the phone. Howard said that if Artie did the show from home, they'd never hear from him.
Howard took some phone calls after that and let some people go off on Jay about his comments about New Orleans. One guy didn't agree with him about what he was saying but there was a woman that did agree with him and was glad that a celebrity was talking about that stuff the way he was.
One caller asked Jay why he went on Kimmel's show during the writer's strike. Jay said he did that show because he likes Jimmy but he didn't do the Tonight Show. He said that Jay hadn't asked him to do his show for a decade and then all of a sudden he needed guests and asked him to do it.
Jay said that he didn't have any problem going on Jimmy's show during the strike. He said that he could have sued that appearance on Jay Leno's show but he turned that down, and that was enough to show his support for the strike. He said that he thinks that Letterman is even more of a nut now than he was before because Leno was still beating his ass in the ratings while he didn't have any writers and Letterman did.
Howard asked Jay what he liked more, the New Orleans hurricane or the tsunami. Jay said that he gets nervous when he sees his cat acting strange because they somehow know to run up hill when there's something like a tsunami happening. He said that not one dog died in that tsunami because they all ran up hill before the water came in. He said that some people were walking out to see what was going on while the water was receding a mile before the tsunami hit.
Howard and Jay talked about some of the stuff that was going on during the Academy Awards. Jay said that the gay guy with the curly hair (Bruce Valanche) has ruined them. Jay talked about some of the lame jokes that were told during that show. He said that Jon Stewart acts like the crowd is laughing before he's even done with his joke. He went off on Jon and on Steve Carrell for the jokes he was trying to pull off during that show.
Howard asked Jay about some of the other people at the awards show and he went off on some woman who was nominated and she's not even American. He said that they should started the immigration thing by throwing out all of the actors who aren't from this country.
Jay said that he's going to be in this new movie ''Pool Boy'' and that's coming out soon. He said that he kind of bad mouthed it last time when he was on and the director got upset with him about that.
Howard gave Jay some plugs for his show and then tried to take a call from Ralph who wasn't there when he picked up. Jay told Howard that he has done like 300 TV shows and most people are really boring on them. He said it makes him wonder how they got to be famous. He said that anyone can act, the hard part is getting the jobs. He said that both of his sons can act but getting a job is really tough.
Howard asked Jay to name the most boring actor he's ever met. Jay said that it's Greg Kinnear. He said he's not dumb, but he was boring. Jay said that he looked at Greg and thought that he was going to be gone after working with him once but he went on to be a big star. He said that he figures that Brad Pitt would be just as boring.
Jay said that the most arrogant guy he's worked with is Chris Malone. He said that he was in a make up chair one day working on Law and Order and he made a comment about Chris Malone and how embarrassing it was to go from Oz to working on Law and Order. He said he went in and worked his ass off doing his job that day and the guy didn't come up to him and say anything to him about the scene. He thought he did really good and they usually kiss the character actor's asses, but not that guy. He said that Ice T is that way too.
Gary came in and said that the guys out there were telling him about Jay going to do an audition one time and he thought it was for something that it wasn't for. Jay said that he went in for an audition for Ivan Reitman and he thought that the script was a comedy. Ivan had to tell him that it was a drama. Jay said that he had to leave the audition and pulled some hairs out of his nose to make himself cry. They gave him a part in the movie but not the one he had auditioned for. He said they gave him the part of a smart assed waiter instead. He said that the scene ended up getting cut.
Jay said that he got back at Ivan Reitman after that. He said he was out with his son who was about 6 at the time. He said that he had an old car that he had a special switch installed in so no one could steal it. He said he saw Ivan and his wife come out to get in their matching $150,000 Mercedes. He said that he heard Ivan complaining that he was in a rush so he got in his car and left the switch off so the car wouldn't start. He held them up for 20 minutes pretending to start the car. Meanwhile his son was telling him to turn on the switch.
Ralph was on the phone so Howard let him say some stuff about what Jay was talking about. Ralph thought that Jay was wrong about Jon Stewart and thought that he was actually great on the Oscar's. Howard said he thinks that Jay could handle that show. Fred said that he could probably handle it but no one else there could.
Ralph made o