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Howard started off the show having some technical problems with his headphones. He wasn't sure if that was his problem or not but he swapped the ears on them. He went on to say that ever since Christmas the people at SIRIUS have been after him to go on Letterman. They wanted him to go on to promote the service. As he was talking about that Howard asked Robin to look at him when he was talking because he thought she might be doing something else. He said that's something that his shrink has told him he needs from people.
Howard got sidetracked and ended up talking about his therapy and how long he's been going and how he can't seem to get out of that. Howard said that Robin was able to make rapid progress but he can't seem to get anywhere with his therapy. He said that maybe Robin needed to be there more than she was. He asked her what her breakthrough was.
Robin said that she was out of control and maybe he hasn't hit that bottom that she had hit back then. Howard said that he doesn't want to go that low. He said that everything is so hard. Robin said that they were talking about Howard at Jon Hein's daughter's bat mitzvah. Howard said that he should have gone just to keep them from talking about him.
Robin said that Jon was very thankful for people showing up, unlike Howard would be at something like that. Howard asked Robin if she went to that party solo. She did because Jim Florentine was out of town that night. Artie said that things will be really serious when Robin starts going out to shows with Jim. He said that all the women eventually do that.
Howard asked Robin if anything crazy happened at the party on Saturday night. Robin said that Ralph had a great line that night because Ronnie had a date with him and it wasn't his wife. Howard said he didn't know anything about that and Robin said she wasn't sure she wanted to say anything about it and out him. Howard claimed he didn't know a thing.
Howard asked Ronnie to come in and explain himself but he didn't come in. Howard said he really wasn't sure what was going on and Ronnie wasn't coming in to explain himself. Howard said it was probably a friend of his son's or something.
Ronnie came in and said that he didn't know what she was talking about either. He said that it was just a friend. He said that he and his wife have kind of split up at this point. Howard said that they really don't talk and he had no idea about this.
Ronnie said that it was just a friend that he brought. He was sweating talking about this. He wasn't clear about his marriage or what was going to happen there. Howard asked Ronnie what was going on with the girl he was with and how old she was. Ronnie said he didn't know but she did have to pack a lunch box to go with him.
Robin said that they were all abuzz about the whole thing. Howard said he heard that Gary was seated next to Ronnie and his new girl. He said that it was all news to him. Howard wondered when all of this happened. Ronnie said that he'd know if he talked to him.
Howard said he did hear from Gary about some of what was going on. He said that he heard that some people thought she was JD's date because she was so young. Ronnie said that she's just a friend. Robin said she knows how old she is. She said that she's in her 20s. She said that she's actually pre-25 after Fred asked. Howard asked Ronnie how old he is. Ronnie said that he doesn't know. He was being as vague as possible with this whole thing.
Ronnie said that the girl was almost 25. Howard said that his daughter is almost 25. He asked Gary to come in and tell him what it was like to sit next to that girl. Gary came in a short time later and said that the girl was very sweet and quiet. She looked nervous too. He said that he talked to her for a little bit. He said that Ronnie was making jokes about the age difference too. Howard asked if she's into that Hannah Montana chick because he might be able to get her tickets.
Howard asked where Ronnie met this chick. Gary said he wasn't positive. He said that his wife was kind of surprised by the whole thing. Artie asked if she's speaks broken English. Everyone said she's from the mid-west and does speak English just fine.
Howard asked Ronnie how he met this girl but Ronnie said he didn't want to go there. He didn't want to get into it on the air. He joked that it was through some web site where you meet other people but he was just joking. Artie said he was impressed with Ronnie.
Gary said that this young girl told him that she had to have her outfit approved by Ronnie. Howard asked if she was able to come in her first pick. He said that she had to change into a second outfit. Howard heard that Chris Hanson from ''To Catch a Predator'' wanted to come in and talk to Ronnie. That was just a joke that someone had written out in the office.
Gary said that he wanted to make Ronnie feel comfortable at the party so he treated her nicely when they were there. Howard asked Ronnie if the girl knows how old he is. Ronnie said that she does. He's not lying about his age.
Howard said that Ronnie is even older than him. That led to them talking about the ages of some other people like Mike Huckabee who is actually younger than Howard. Gary said that James Gandolfini is younger than him and he finds that hard to believe.
Howard said that Ronnie has been trying to get into shape lately and he had a feeling something was going on. He said that he must have hit the mid-life crisis or something. Ronnie said that's not it at all. Howard said that it's impressive that Ronnie is hanging out with a 24 year old. Artie said that he's impressed.
Ronnie said that he's just been enjoying himself and behaving himself when he's out. Gary figured that Ronnie was on good behavior in front of this new girl. The guys talked about the Scoresman stuff for a short time and Howard said that his new name should be ''Divorcedman.'' Ronnie said that he's not divorced, he's just legally separated. Howard said that's just about divorced.
Howard took a call from a woman who said that Ronnie is passed his mid-life crisis, he's near the end of his life crisis. They talked about how Ronnie is like 60 years old so it's only his mid-life if he's going to live to 120.
Ronnie said he was talking to Benjy about Ivy at the party. Howard said they weren't interested in that stuff right now, he wanted to talk to Ronnie about his relationship. Benjy said that Ronnie did lay down the law with this new girl and he's not going to get married again. He's not even going to move in with anyone so he let this new girl know that.
We also learned that Ronnie is going to a shrink now. He told the guys about what he was told about letting his feelings out with this new girl. He also revealed that he's been going out with her for a couple of months now. Artie was goofing on Ronnie doing an impression of him as if he were a Dice Clay-like character talking to this chick.
Howard asked Gary what he told his wife about this relationship. Gary said he let Mary know that it wasn't going to be Bonnie who was going to be there and she was going to be someone she wouldn't expect to see. He said that it was kind of like a coming out party when he brings her to an event like that.
Gary said that Mary's reaction was ''give me a fuckin' break'' when she met this girl for the first time. She was shocked that she was so young. She wasn't so shocked that he was with someone else, it was just her age that shocked her.
Jon Hein came in and aids that he knew that he was bringing a date and he had a feeling that he was going to be bringing another woman. Ronnie said he wasn't sure which one he was going to bring though so he couldn't let him know her name right away. Howard sounded surprised to hear that. He didn't know that Ronnie had more than one girl.
Robin said she saw Ronnie giving young girls tours there. He said that he doesn't do that during the show. Artie was doing his impression again and said that's what he calls his ''Whore Tour.'' Robin said she saw Ronnie giving a tour to a beautiful young girl one day. Ronnie said he met her at a restaurant. Howard, Fred and Artie were all doing their impressions of Ronnie but they were all doing it as Dice.
Gary said that there was a lot of talk about Ronnie that night. He said that it was kind of sad that they were doing that but it should have been expected. He said that they were trying to figure out the age difference between the girl and Ronnie's son, not even between Ronnie and the girl. Robin said that she was so young that they kept trying to seat her at the Bat Mitzvah table.
Howard asked Ronnie how he picked this girl over the others. He said that he didn't have anyone else lined up to go. He said that this girl is his best friend right now, the other girl is just a good friend.
Howard said that Ronnie could have gone to this event without the girl if he wanted to keep it quiet. Ronnie said he was tired of going to these things alone so he wanted to bring someone with him. Howard asked Ronnie if all of this is going to distract him from doing his job standing in the hall and driving his limo. Ronnie said he's going to be fine.
Ronnie asked if he could go now that they're done. Howard said that he can go but they're not done with him yet. Robin said that she saw this girl running her hand through his hair at the party. She said that showed that she was very familiar with Ronnie. Howard said that he'd better hook up with one of them before the show ends.
Robin said that she didn't know that Howard didn't know about this. She figured that if he was at a party like that, he must be ready to let the story out. Howard asked if there are any pictures of this girl. Robin said there must be some out there. She said that she was very lovely.
Howard asked Benjy what he thinks. He said that she was very cute and if she's just his friend, he might give her a call himself. Howard said that Benjy is another Hugh Hefner. Robin said that she was getting updates from Ivy about things over the weekend too. She said that she heard that Benjy was asking her to go to this Bat Mitzvah thing too.
Howard said that there's no one more creepy than the guy who owns that magazine, Steve Forbes. Howard said that he thinks that Jerry Seinfeld is even creepier than he is because he dated a 16 year old. Howard said that he thinks that he's going to go down in history as being rude and creepy no matter what he does.
The caller also asked if Howard thinks he's more powerful than Donald Trump. Howard said that he's powerful at all. He said that Trump has abilities to do things that he probably can't but he wasn't even sure what that means to be more powerful than someone else. He said he didn't give a shit anyway.
Howard said that he may be kind of creepy staring at the girls who ride the Sybian. He said that if he is creepy because of that, the people who watch him doing it are just as creepy. He said his father loves Forbes though and it is kind of cool that his name is in there so his father can see that.
Howard said he turned down another offer to go on Letterman and figured he could get off until next Christmas. Then he got a call from someone last week asking him to do a walk on. He didn't want to do that even though it was just one line. He said his agent was out of town and he told them that he couldn't make the decision without his agent. He said he lied to them and told them that he can't do that. Howard said he'd do anything to get out of the whole thing.
Artie said that the writer's strike isn't really over yet so he could use that to get out of the gig. Howard said that he looked into that and the writers are so behind him that they are encouraging people to go do that show and not the other shows.
Howard said he was going to use the writer's strike to get out of doing Letterman but now he can't do that because the writer's are so behind him. Meanwhile Leno is doing his show and has a lot of writers coming out against his show because Leno is in the writer's guild and he's basically a scab by doing his show.
Howard said that Letterman's people called again and asked him to be on tonight. He said that his agent was still away so he told them that he couldn't do it without him giving the okay. He said that he really doesn't want to do that show and he's still feeling sick after Christmas vacation. He said that he can't shake these colds he gets.
Howard said his agent got back and asked him about this Letterman thing. He asked him what he wanted to talk about and Howard had no idea. He said that he's the one guy in this country who doesn't want to do Letterman. He said that his agent asked him to do it because Letterman needs his help because he's kind of hurting over there. He said that Dave is shaving his beard off tonight. Ralph suggested that he shave his head on the same show. Howard said that he thought about doing it but Beth told him not to dare do that.
A caller told Howard that he has to remember the people who helped him get to where he got. Howard said that he feels such pressure when he does those things that he doesn't like doing then. He said that this has nothing to do with being pompous or being full of himself. It's all about his nerves and being afraid of bombing when he does things like that. Howard said that Dave doesn't do other shows himself and he has to notice that. Howard said that he's not doing this to punish anyone, he just doesn't want to do it.
Howard said he got out of doing the show tonight. He was seriously thinking of doing the shaving thing though. Howard asked the caller what he does for a living. He found out that he was a truck driver so he asked him to go drive for another shift, for free, because his fans want to see it. The caller said that it's not the same thing though. Howard told the guy that he wasn't thinking like a working man. The caller said that it's nice to see him on other shows once in a while. Howard said that it's nice for the fans but it's not nice for him because he doesn't like doing the show. The caller said that he should pay some respect to the fans and just do it.
Howard said that he is going to be doing Letterman but he didn't say when. Howard said he got all upset when he heard that they asked Letterman to do the History of Howard Stern. When he heard that he was afraid that he was going to owe him one.
Howard went through some more calls and eventually said that he's going to be on Letterman next Monday. He said he'll stand there and make people laugh. The caller asked who is going to get Ronnie's NASCAR tire from his basement. The guys figured that Ronnie is going to get all of that stuff.
A caller told Howard to watch the episode of Seinfeld where Elaine is dating a guy who shaves his head after having a great head of hair. He comes back looking like Curly from the Three Stooges. Howard said that he feels like he has to do crazy stuff like that when he goes on. He said Beth told him that he'd regret it after he did it because it would only be outrageous for a short time.
The caller Howard had on the line asked what it means when someone calls him a moulignon. Howard told him it means he's a nice guy. The guy was black and knew that he was just kidding about that. That all led to the guys talking about other words that people use to describe black people like schvoogie and things like that. They spent a minute on that before Howard got back to the Letterman thing.
Howard said that his shrink will get him all psyched up to do the Letterman thing. He said that he'll let him know what he should do and get him all hyped up to do it. Robin told him that's why he's still in therapy and he'll never move on. Howard asked her to come with him and fire the guy when he goes to his next appointment. '
Howard said that Britney's mother and sister called Dr. Phil to help them out because they were about to go on the show. He said that Dr. Phil, being the whore that he is, goes down to the hospital and tries to work with her. Britney said that she didn't want to talk to him so he went right to the press and held a press conference and said that she's in severe need of psychiatric help. He claimed that he spent an hour with her and he really only spent about 15 minutes according to Robin. She also said that he claimed to have walked her to her car but she didn't walk anywhere with him.
Howard said that Britney might be more normal than Dr. Phil. He said that he's out there doing interviews and stuff after that short meeting and he wasn't even helping her out. He said that guy is such a skunk. If he really cared about Britney, he would have kept his mouth shut. He only did it because the TV cameras were going to be there. Artie said that Oprah Winfrey should see that too but she apparently doesn't.
Howard ended up playing some Dr. Phil clips that Richard put together using his audio book. They edited the clips to make it sound like he was saying some really rude stuff. Howard said he had to take a break but he took one last phone call before doing that. The guy said that he thinks that he's worrying about his Letterman appearance too much and he should just be himself when he goes on that show. Howard said that's funny because that's what his shrink tells him. He said that his shrink tells him to just be himself and not try to prove himself.
Howard said that Robin Williams was really good on Letterman last week. He said that the guy was really funny goofing on Dave's beard and stuff. He wants to go on and entertain people too so that's why he feels this pressure. The caller said he likes Howard's radio show and didn't like him on TV the first time he saw him. He said he prefers the banter they have on the radio show and not some planned out bit that he does on TV.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that he shouldn't do Letterman, fuck David Letterman. Howard said that he likes Dave, it's just the pressure of doing the show that he doesn't like. The caller asked for a tour of the studio so Howard said he'd do that but Robin joked that he could only get one if he was dating Ronnie the Limo Driver. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if anyone was fooled by Roger Clemens and the stuff he was saying on 60 Minutes last night. Howard said he wanted to believe the guy but the guy who is accusing him of using steroids gave the government 90 names and his motivation wasn't to hurt people. He and the guys talked about this guy who was a trainer for Clemens and a bunch of other players.
Artie said that Clemens looked like he was doing everything that an innocent guy would do but he's not sure if he believes it or not. Robin said that she would be on fire if she was in his situation and he didn't know that he was given steroids. The trainer is claiming that he was asked to give it to him. Robin said that one of them is lying obviously.
Gary came in and said that the guy who gave Clemens' name really didn't have any reason to lie about this stuff. He just gave them a bunch of names of people that he gave steroids to. Some of the people admitted to have used them but Clemens is denying it.
Artie said that Mike Wallace asked him if he'd be willing to take a lie detector test and he said he would but it wouldn't prove anything. Howard agreed with that because he's taken them and they're not that accurate. The guys talked about a lot of the stuff that came up during that interview but Howard wanted to move on.
Howard brought up the NY Giants game that happened over the weekend and how great it was to watch. He said that he can't wait to watch next week's game. They spent a short time on that. Howard brought up Tony Romo and how he's dating Jessica Simpson and he may be distracted by her and it may screw up his game.
Howard said that this Huckabee can't even answer a question. He answers like he's a preacher. He said they asked him about raising taxes when he was governor and he would just say that he did it to help families. He said that there's no way he can be the nominee for the republican party.
Howard said that Rudy Giuliani should be the guy. He was also saying that this guy Ron Paul is great. He said that he's got some great things when he makes speeches and he makes a lot of sense. He said he heard him speak one time and thinks that he should get more air time. Gary asked him where the votes are though. Howard didn't have an answer for him there.
Howard said he thinks that Hillary Clinton is going to get the nomination and so will Rudy Giuliani. He said that it may not seem like it right now but that's the way things will play out. Howard said that if you really want to hear some political discussions, John the Stutterer is doing a show tonight on Howard 101 at 7pm and he'll be talking about all of that.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that he'd like to know what Mike Wallace is taking to be going at his age. Howard said that the guy is amazing that he's still going at that age. He's like 88 years old. Ralph called in and talked about how Giuliani wasn't a great mayor and he was only good on 9/11. Howard said that's not true, he converted the city into a cash cow and made real estate values go up and cleaned up the Javits center and a bunch of other stuff. Howard said he was going to hang up on Ralph because of what he was saying.
Ralph said that Howard is a rich person living in the city, that's why he's okay with what Rudy did. They argued about all of that for a few minutes.
Howard said that Mike Wallace is going to be 90 years old this year. He said he looks good for someone that old. Ralph said that he's not that good looking. Ralph said that he's impressed with one guy and that's Howard because he heard that History of Howard Stern and found a new respect for him.
Howard said that he likes to go out to eat with his fiancé but the people at the restaurants will come over and shake his hand, right before he's about to eat. He said that's just wrong. He said that he just doesn't want to shake hands. He's fine with people saying hello to him but not shake his hand. He's been bringing this spray with him so he can spray his hands after he gets the hand shake. He said that Beth will carry this stuff in her purse so he sprays down at the table after the hand shaking. He said that he'd wear gloves at dinner if he could.
Howard said he has stuff in the studio to clean his hands too. Robin said that when you do that you lower your resistance to germs and eventually he won't be able to fight any of that stuff off.
Howard said that another great movie is ''Fractured'' which was another one that Ralph had on his list. He said he also watched the Giants game and then the Teeth movie over the weekend. That got the guys back into the football discussions for a short time.
Howard said that Eric was basically calling in to tell them that nothing happened. They said that his preamble was longer than his report was. Eric said that he wanted to thank the guys for having him out to the shows. He got up on stage with Shuli. Howard said that means that something did happen because Eric was up on stage. He asked him what they did with him and joked that they flew him with balloons. Eric said he told one joke on Saturday night.
Howard asked Ralph what it sounded like when he was up on stage. Ralph goofed on Eric and did his impression of him for a few seconds. Howard said that he was watching Eric on his web cam and his face was a mess because he has acne and a rash or something on him. He said that God is really cruel to this poor guy. Eric had a picture of a hot chick on his cam and he was telling Howard he should be looking at that instead.
Eric said that he told a joke that he'd heard on some TV show and told the guys what it was. No one was laughing though.
Sal came in and said that he was watching Scott the Engineer the whole night and couldn't take his eyes off of him. He said that he was like a cinder block there because he doesn't move or change expressions the whole night. Sal wondered who has it worse, him or Scott. Fred said that Sal might have it worse because he has a hot wife and he's not even getting laid. Sal said that people kept cutting in on his dancing with his wife. He said that the DJ there set him up with a hot chick because he felt so bad for him getting cut in on all the time.
Sal said that Ralph had a blast with his wife. Ralph said he did but he was also dancing with the hot chick who was there with the DJ. Sal said that he and Ralph have this move where they pretend to be taking pictures of each other, meanwhile they're just taking pictures of girl's asses and cleavage.
Ralph said Sal made a great video of Scott from the Bat Mitzvah and it was very well produced. Scott came in and said that he just sits there and tries not to make a fool of himself. That led to Scott talking about how he's going to be keeping his dog after everything that happened last week. Howard said that Scott is claiming that it's because of him that he's keeping the dog but he doesn't want him to keep it because of him. Scott said that they're not just keeping it because of him.
Howard asked Scott if his wife was yelling at him when he got home after the whole dog thing last week. Scott said that it was fine. They didn't fight.
Howard talked about how he's gotten a save the date card for Will's wedding but he's pretty sure he has something else planned for that day. Will said that's fine because it's going to be 3 hours away and he wouldn't expect Howard to show up. Howard said that if i twas in New York, he'd probably show up. Will said that his fiancé's family lives up there where they're going.
Howard said that there's a picture of Scott sitting alone at the Bat Mitzvah up on his web site. Robin said she went over and sat next to Scott at one point during the party and it was as bad as she thought it was going to be. Howard said that he's a total buzz kill at those things. Scott said that no one was forced to sit next to him or anything at the table. Ralph and Robin sat across the table from him. Ralph said that he's like a chameleon and just sits there and blends into the background so it's no big deal.
Howard asked if Scott was the lamest of the people there. Robin said he was as if it was a silly question. Howard heard that Scott was a real downer at the SIRIUS party as well. Scott said that he doesn't want to get drunk and make a fool out of himself. He just goes and has fun in his own way. Howard said he finds it funny that Scott had a second job of trying to entertain people at parties when he was a DJ. He said that Scott is like the least fun guy in the world and he was trying to make people have fun.
Sal said they had a clip to play from that video he made of Scott but Howard didn't want to force him into seeing that. He wanted to leave the poor guy alone. He let Sal and Scott go after that. He said that the movie is really funny but he didn't want to make Scott see it.
Howard said that the 8.3 million subscriber number is huge. He said that when he thinks about that he realized just how big that is. He said that people claim he has lost his influence since moving there but that's just not the case. He said that Stephen Baldwin was on the show last week and he was the number 4 most searched term on Google. He said that he has a lot of influence and he thinks that he has more of an influence than even a David Letterman does.
Howard and Robin talked about the merger thing and said that maybe it is because of them that it's being held up so long.
Howard said that he was reading about John Stewart and Stephen Colbert's shows, The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. He said that they're heavily scripted and he's not sure how they can come back if they don't have writers. Howard said that he'll have to tune in to see what they're doing if that's the case. They won't have writers so they'll have to do interviews instead.
Howard said he saw Letterman interviewing his staff which was odd. He said that he was interviewing a girl who works on the show and just did a straight interview with her. Robin said that Leno was taking questions from the audience. She said that they should sit there in the audience. Howard said he would do that and ask Jay some questions.
Howard read that CBS may let Katie Couric go from the evening news. She may go to 60 Minutes instead but she's apparently upset about that. Her move to the evening news was apparently a failure.
The guys said that Bob Levy was willing to take that Friday morning slot on Howard 101. That led to the guys talking to Artie about Bob's wedding that was supposed to happen this weekend out in Vegas. Robin said that she heard that Bob Levy gave his first two wives the same ring and that shows how romantic he is.
Howard said that Bubba claims that he can handle the two shifts every day but he's not sure if he'll be able to do the straight morning show, with no cursing, and then come to SIRIUS. He said that he heard that the people at COX have already warned him about the content and they'll be riding that delay button the whole time.
Howard said that Bubba didn't want to give up his relationship with the show and he's staying on with SIRIUS. He said that really shows some commitment from the guy.
Howard said that he had a deal years ago to do a Saturday morning syndicated show and they were doing double interviews with the same people. He wondered if he was supposed to do the same interviews or something. Robin said that it was very rehearsed sounding. Howard said that it was a real drag.
Howard said that maybe they should call Bubba and ask them to put him on hold so they can listen in to what they're doing over there. Gary said that he'd make that happen. Howard figured that Bubba was a whole different person doing that show. Howard said he's on down in Tampa where he broadcasts from. Gary came back on a few minutes later and told him that Bubba doesn't start until tomorrow. They'll do that tomorrow instead.
Howard played some old Bubba clips from when he was on a radio station doing some kind of weird black impression when he was the DJ. Howard said that's going to be a tough schedule for him.
Howard said that Eric had to read a script for that big and he reads it so literally that it comes out funny. Artie was grossed out every time Eric made a ''chh'' sound because it's so filled with phlegm. Howard replayed the call after that and got a few more laughs out of it. The woman at the pharmacy was trying to be nice but Eric drove her over the edge and upset her.
Howard said that he heard that there's a warrant out for Eric's arrest or something but he wasn't sure of the details.
Zach said that Ronnie looked like Schneider from One Day at a Time with the big wad of keys on his belt. Howard asked why Zach is in a wheelchair. He said that he hit a sand bar when he was out swimming and now he's a quadriplegic. That led to Artie talking about how a lot of people get hurt in the ocean when they dive in.
Howard said that he once bashed his head into a wall in the pool when he was swimming with his kids. Ralph was back on the phone and laughing in the background as he heard that story.
Ralph said that he's not trying to look like Howard, he thinks that Howard is the one trying to look like him. He said that Howard is the one cutting his hair shorter. He said that he doesn't go out and buy clothes like Howard's, it's Howard who has him shopping for him. Howard hung up on him a short time later.
Howard said that Artie is doing guest shots on big shows and doing Letterman and things like that. Gary said that Stuttering John is going to do an interview for the History of Howard Stern. Howard said he thinks that John is afraid of being fired by Jay so he stays away from the show for the most part. He said he likes John though and he does miss him.
lee asked if he could come in and get his balls shocked for his birthday. Howard said he'd have to think about something like that. He's not sure he wants to get involved with that guy.
Howard finished playing the High Pitch Eric call and played some extra stuff where they had him saying words where he'd do the ''chh'' thing that Artie hates so much. He said that Eric just ''sweats disgustingness.''
Howard played a clip of Dr. Phil explaining why he went to see Britney Spears after her family requested that he do so. Howard went off on the guy for going out and doing press after that and how he could have kept his mouth shut about the whole thing. He said that the guy isn't even a real doctor, he's just got a PHD. He said that anyone who has a PHD shouldn't be calling themselves doctors. He said that he loves when Chiropractors call themselves doctors too.
Howard said that he's not going to call any of those people ''doctor'' if he comes across them. He said that he'd like to know more about Dr. Phil's PHD and how he managed to get that. He heard that he went to the University of North Texas so he wanted to know what you need to get into that school. Robin laughed and said that you probably just need a driver's license.
Howard played more of the Dr. Phil clip and goofed on him a bit. He asked about the University of North Texas and found out that Stone Cold Steve Austin graduated there too. He joked that they must have majored in bullshit. Gary said that they found out that schools are ranked as tiers and that school is ranked as a fourth tier school which is pretty bad.
Jon Hein came in to explain the tier ratings for schools. He said that there are first tiers like Harvard and Yale. Then there are second tier like Boston University and Stanford. Then there are third tier that are satellite tier schools like that. Then there are the fourth tier which are lower than those. He said that you probably don't need much to get into those schools.
Howard said that the average grade point average for a student going there is a mere 2.2. That led to Artie doing his Animal House impression where he does the ''Zero point zero'' speech. Howard read more stats about Dr. Phil's school and how low your SAT scores can be to get in there. Jon reminded Howard that they've changed them since Dr. Phil went so they probably only required about an 800 back then.
Robin said that she just found what you need to get into that school. She said that you just need to have graduated high school. Howard said that he now knows what he wants to talk to David Letterman about next week, Dr. Phil.
Howard said that guy Fred Thompson seems like a real asshole. He and the guys spent a minute talking about him before Howard moved on. Robin interrupted him and said that there actually were more requirements to get into that school that Dr. Phil went to. She said that you need a 950 SAT score. Howard said he really hates that PHD thing and people calling themselves doctors with that. He said that Dr. Phil shouldn't be allowed to call himself one. He suggested that they should be called ''Schmoctors'' or something like that, not doctor. He said that it should be Schmoctor Phil.
Howard said he read that Dr. Phil also went to a fourth tier school to do his undergrad studies. He goofed on him about that and then took a call from a guy who said that he wanted to defend the PHD thing. Howard said he's got nothing against a PHD, it's the way that it's used that he's upset about. He said that this guy on the phone had a PHD in psychology and he went to a better school so he should be upset with Dr. Phil. The guy said that he's a psychologist himself. He said that Dr. Phil was the lucky one who got in with Oprah Winfrey, that's why he's got the fame he does.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that Dr. Phil is a real asshole. She went off on him and said that his wife even thinks that she's a doctor. She also said that she knows what Howard is good on Letterman and he should just go on and have fun and be himself. Howard said he doesn't hate Letterman, he just doesn't like doing the show.
Howard read through a bunch of the stuff and got some laughs from the guys. This guy wrote everything as if Chuck were some type of God. There was a reference to Tom Cruise in one of the comments so that led to Howard talking about something that was in a book about Tom Cruise. The author claims that the baby that Tom and his wife had was actually the sperm from L. Ron Hubbard. Howard said he hopes that it's true but he's not sure if that's the case. Artie said he heard something about that but he didn't hear that it might actually be his actual sperm.
Howard talked about some other stuff about Tom Cruise that they had heard. Artie heard some stuff to so he threw that into the conversation. They spent a couple of minutes on that stuff and talked about how that author is so afraid of the Scientologists that he's moved and won't tell anyone where he went.
Howard said there was a picture of Tony Romo out with Jessica Simpson in Cabo. He said that Jessica is looking really hot in the pictures. They talked about that for a short time but Howard had to go to break before getting to more stuff.
Howard asked JD how long they interviewed him. JD said that they went through a whole sheet of questions and asked him all of this stuff. He said that they were herding people in like cattle when they were picking the jury. He said they looked over his sheet and asked the questions. JD said that they brought up Howard's name and asked him if he was against lawyers the same way Howard was. JD said he has a hard time lying so he said that he didn't care about that stuff.
Gary said that he had to testify in front of a grand jury one time and when he walked into the room there was a guy with a stocking on his head who slept through his whole testimony. He said it was like 12 Scott the Engineer's sitting there listening to him.
Robin said that if JD gets on the jury, he could end up as foreman. Howard said that if someone asks you if you agree with Howard Stern's views, you agree with it and they kick you off the jury. It's easy to get off of that stuff. Howard gave JD some advice about what he could do to get out of the whole thing by throwing out some racial slurs and stuff like that. He did his impression of JD and goofed on him for a little while.
Howard said that when Fred goes to Jury Duty he shows up in a Hitler costume, that's why he never has to sit on a jury. He finished up the Dial a Mattress commercial he was doing and came back from the break a short time later.
Will asked him if he wanted to have her on but she didn't have a lot of stuff to talk about other than the fact that she's one of those chicks who didn't think she could have sex until she was engaged, and now she's been engaged like 5 times. Howard said that it didn't seem that interesting to him. Will came in and said that she's had sex with celebrities but she doesn't want to talk about the stuff. He said he did get it out of her that she had a Saudi Prince buy her a house. Howard said he was going to pass on this chick.
Artie said that he knew this guy who was a Saudi Prince who didn't have to work and all he does is sit home and fuck all the time. He said that he's seen him out with chicks and he's not sure if he just calls whores and has them over or what. He said that the kid is at his father's beckon call but other than that he can just sit around doing nothing.
Artie said that this guy was at the building he was living in out in L.A. when he was on the Norm Show. He said he was paying $5,000 a month for rent at this place and lived in the same building as Stevie Wonder. Howard asked Artie how his new house is coming along. He said that it's looking really good and it's almost done. He said he loves it and can't wait for it to be done. He said that it's going to be a summer house so he won't be there all the time.
Artie said he'll be able to get in within about a month or so. He's going to have a TV show doing the media room there. He said they have a huge center island in the kitchen and things like that. Howard said that he can imagine the eating that's going to go on there. Artie said he's going to have an elevator that goes from the basement to the top floor where the media room is.
Artie said his house is 7000 square feet and it's got 7 fucking bedrooms. Howard asked him if he's going to fuck in every one of those seven rooms. He said he's going to try. Howard and Robin had some fun goofing on Artie about that stuff. Artie said that he won't be able to stay there because he'll be out doing comedy shows to pay for it. He said that Robin will be able to bring her boat up there and dock it at his pier. He said he's got room for four boats there but he doesn't even have one.
Robin can bring her boat or have Jim Florentine drive it up there. Fred went into his Jim impression and said that he was going to be playing with her ''man in the boat'' while she drove her boat. Howard said that Robin once crashed into her dock one time. Robin said that she didn't crash, she just got stuck.
Artie said that he told Robin to come down to his place every weekend if she wants. Robin said that she might find her way there with her captain helping her out. Artie said that he'd like to take his boat from that house to Hoboken where he lives now. He's right on the Hudson so he could technically do that. He figures it would take him like 7 hours to do it through.
The guys talked about how they had to talk Artie into buying a house like this. He wanted to sell the place in Hoboken and just buy another house instead of having two places. Howard said that Artie almost quit the show over that conversation. Artie said he never said he was going to quit over that.
Howard thinks that Artie will have some fun at this new house and he'll have to get a boat so he can go out and stare at his house or float up to Hoboken and just stare at his apartment. Howard said he never wanted to get a boat because he'd end up like Gilligan on Gilligan's Island.
Howard took a call from a guy who had a suggestion for Howard doing his Letterman thing next week. The guy suggested that he talk about the merger and maybe request a congressional investigation into the whole thing. Howard said that may come up next week. The guy thinks that the government won't approve it because they have no control over the service at this point.
Steve said that they have more on Artie's book ''Too Fat To Fish'' and what a huge fan of Artie and the Stern Show the publishers are. Steve said that they have a story about High Pitch Eric as well but they're looking into that further before announcing if he's up on charges or anything.
Jon Hein came in and gave his preview of the Wrap Up Show. they're going to talk about Ronnie and his new ''friend'' that he brought to the Bat Mitzvah party over the weekend. Howard said that it was all a shock to him. He said that she's only 24 years old and he's not sure he could date anyone that young since his daughter is turning 25. He said that age would have to be his cut off.
Artie said that he's upset that he missed Howard's crazy single time. He said it would have been a great way to die partying with Howard and all of the chicks he was seeing. Howard said that he doesn't think that he'd be able to date anyone that young unless his daughter was like 27, that way he'd start to work his way backwards.
Howard said he heard that Jon was upset that he thought that he only got the invite to that Bat Mitzvah because he wanted the money. Jon said that Ronnie gave a very generous gift and a very nice card as well. He said that JD was the cheapest but they were fine with that. He said he also sent the money in a Hannah Montana singing birthday card. JD came in and said that he gave her $25. He doesn't have a lot of money to be shelling out for stuff like that.
Howard asked JD if he considered $30. JD just said ''Whatever...'' Howard heard that he wore sneakers to the Bat Mitzvah too. He said that's not cool. They had a picture of him wearing the same type of pants he was wearing this morning. Artie said he looks like the bass player for The Clash. JD said he didn't know it was going to be that nice of a party.
Jon said that Howard, Fred and Artie gave the most money. Fred gave $500 and so did Howard and Artie. Howard thought he sent $1000 but it turns out it was just $500. Robin said that was really rude that he only sent that much but claimed he'd sent $1000. Robin said she thought he had sent $1000 and that's why she gave $500. Howard said he must have been in a mood, it all depends on the mood he's in.
Gary said he was going to give what Howard gave but then he figured he could lower it a little bit. Ralph called in and asked why they all do what Howard does. He said that he thinks that Howard owes Jon $500. Ralph said that he was just going to sign Robin's card and go in on the money with Robin.
Howard heard that Richard Christy only gave $100 for two people. Jon said that was correct. Ralph thought it was kind of tacky that Jon was telling people how much they were giving. Howard told him to shut up and hung up on him.
Artie said that Richard is an insane alcoholic so he wouldn't know what to give. Richard came in and said that he thought that $100 was really good for a party like that. He said he was looking at it as a 13 year old's birthday party. Richard was also wearing a yarmulke at the event so the guys thought that he was goofing around with it but Richard said that Jon gave it to him so he just wore it.
Ralph called back and said that he thought that Teddy, Artie's assistant, looked like a mess at the party. he's got a huge belly and his suit was all wrinkled up. They spent a minute on that before Howard had Jon get back to his Wrap Up Show preview.
Jon said that they're going to talk about Howard's upcoming Letterman appearance and about the Dr. Phil stuff they did and a bunch of other things. Howard thanked him for that and congratulated him on his daughter's Bat Mitzvah.
Howard heard that Benjy didn't bring a gift for Jon's daughter to the party. Benjy said that he thinks it's a pain in the ass to do that so he had the check and the card with him this morning. Howard told him to just bring it with him next time.
Robin read a story about how Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel are going to be visiting each other's shows because they can't get guests to fill their slots. Howard said that Letterman is allowed to have guests but he's been interviewing his staff. That's how far he's had to go to get guests. Howard said he just heard that Jimmy Kimmel's people just tried to book Jon Hein's daughter to do their show to talk about her whole Bat Mitzvah.
Robin brought up the Britney Spears story and how she was overheard saying that she didn't want her sister to be the only Spears on the front page of the papers and then tried to OD on some sleeping pills and booze. They talked about the Dr. Phil thing and how some people think that he could help Britney out. Howard doesn't get that at all.
Robin covered some stuff about the writer's strike and how it's already effecting the Golden Globe awards because everyone is boycotting that. Howard had to take a break around that time. After the break Howard came right back and had Robin get back into her news report. She brought up the Iowa Caucuses and how Hillary Clinton seems to had dropped off the radar out there. That got Howard talking about that for a short time and how it's not that big of a deal to have a female in office, other countries have had them and it's no big deal. He said that this country claims to be progressive but we seem to be afraid of putting a woman into office.
Howard said that Hillary is almost 60 years old now and she's barely a woman at this point so it shouldn't be an issue if she does get into office. He mentioned that there was a list of celebrities that look like the opposite sex as they age. Imus was listed as looking like a woman.
Howard said there was another list of celebrities who are most likely to die this year. Artie was number 5 on the list. He read through the list of names that were on the list with Artie and some of them didn't make a lot of sense.
Robin brought up a story about how thinner couples have hotter sex lives. Howard said ''Of course!'' when he heard that. Robin read the story and Artie said that he agrees with that. He said that he's been with some girls over the past 6 months and figures there's no way the girl could have gotten off on it. He'd be surprised if he's ever given a woman an orgasm. He wasn't even sure if he had ever given Dana one when he was with her.
Howard said he saw a picture of that Lee the Stalker guy in a picture with Artie and Artie was 100 pounds lighter and that Lee guy was 100 pounds heavier. Robin and Howard talked about how good looking Artie was when he was thinner. Artie said that he never got that from anyone when he was thin. He said he's very self conscious about his weight now when he has sex. He said that the jizz will get all caught up under the fold of his stomach when he has sex and it looks like a glacier or something. He said that he can't believe he just said that on radio. He went on to say that it's just gross down there.
Howard said that he thinks that one day Artie is just going to stop eating and start losing weight. He said he thinks that he knows how to do it and he will have to make that change eventually. Artie said that he's got some nice lighting in his bedroom that allows him to light the chick up perfectly and keep himself hidden from the chick. He said that he uses a lot of powder and in the past, when he was with Dana, he'd get off of her and she'd look like a mime.
Robin read through some more various stories. She was talking about some movies and stuff like that. She read one about GM coming up with a car that can drive itself. Howard liked that because he thinks that driving is too dangerous. They wrapped up a short time later, around 10:45am.
Artie said that he's spent a lot of money on extras for the house already. He said that his decorator and his mother have already been going through stuff and picking out tile and crap like that. He said that they picked out stone for the driveway and things like that. Gary gave him the right numbers and said that it was really a high number.
Gary said that as long as the house isn't done yet, you may as well go through and do it all now. He said that Jackie had a nice deck out on Long Island and didn't know how much it was going to cost him when he was telling the guy how long he wanted it to be. IT was like ten thousand for each step he counted off.
Artie said that he's got his house wired for everything, even things that don't exist except at NASA. He just said yes to everything. Gary said that he won't regret it though, he'll enjoy the house year round. Artie said that he can't wait for the closing so he can do down there and relax at the new place in the spring.
Gary said that Artie picked up the place when it was about 1/3 of the way done. That way he was able to modify it the way he wants.
Artie knew already that Ronnie had split from his wife. He didn't know about this new girl though. The guys talked about how many big mouths there are there on the show that wouldn't be able to keep their mouths shut about the relationship.
Jon played a clip from earlier in the show when Ronnie talked to Howard about this new ''friend'' that Ronnie had with him at the party. They talked about how young she is and how she was born in 1983. The guys all figured out how old they were in 1983 and what they were doing back at that point.
Benjy said that the ''friend'' was a very sweet girl. He wondered if Ronnie was sweating because of his wife finding out or the other friends finding out. The guys talked about how nice Ronnie's wife was and they're pretty sure he didn't want to flaunt that relationship on the show. Benjy wondered if Ronnie told his wife ahead of time. Gary said he's never seen Ronnie behave the way he did this morning. It was like he was neutered.
Artie said that if Ronnie didn't want people to find out about this girl, he could have done things to keep that from happening. He didn't have to show up to this party with her. Benjy told Artie that he's going to be blown away when he sees how hot this chick is.
Jon took a call from Chad the cop who asked if Ronnie is going through a mid life crisis. He also said that Ronnie tried to slip his number to Ivy at the cookie party. Ronnie came in around that time and said that he's known Ivy for a long time and he didn't do that.
Chad said that he's the one who has been in pictures with Ivy and said that he's been going out with her. Benjy said that he doesn't care and he's fine with that. Benjy also said that Chad is engaged to another woman so whatever. Chad said that he's just having fun out there.
Gary said that he got an email from Ivy saying that she's scared of Benjy because he has these night terrors and he'll wake up in the middle of the night, stand on the bed and yell ''I know who did it!'' Benjy said he didn't know he did that.
Artie said that Benjy once stayed over at Stuttering John's house and had those night terrors and scared the shit out of John's kids. He asked Benjy if he really has these things. Benjy said that he doesn't remember them all but he does think that he screams at night.
Jon asked Ronnie if he really thought that his date wasn't going to come up on the show. Ronnie said he could hear the buzz as soon as he got there. He knew that it was going to come out. Jon asked him why it was this occasion that he brought her. Ronnie said he didn't want to go alone so he brought her. He said that it wasn't his thing to just hang out with JD and Ralph.
Benjy asked Ronnie if he told his wife ahead of time. Ronnie said that he didn't want to get into that. He said he wouldn't tell anyone ahead of time. Gary said that this is going to come out on the air so maybe you do want to give a heads up. Ronnie said he didn't know until the last minute that he was going to bring this chick so he didn't have time to give a heads up.
Jon took a call from a guy who told Ronnie that they all knew that he was heading for a divorce with the amount of time he was spending at Scores. The guy asked what went wrong but Ronnie said it was none of his business and he wasn't going to answer that.
Artie asked to see a picture of this chick. Ronnie didn't have one but Gary said that they do have some in the office. Artie told Ronnie he wants to hang out with him now that he's getting young chicks. Ronnie said that he's asked to hang out with him many times so he could have done that in the past. Artie said that he wants to do that now that he's bird dogging young chicks.
Jon took another call from a guy who brought up the story about the cars that drive themselves and how Ronnie might loose his job. Ronnie said he was waiting for the jokes from Benjy about that but they never came. The caller said that Ronnie will always be needed for switching the petcock in the limo.
Another caller brought up Ronnie's separation and Ronnie said he doesn't know what will happen in the future, they're just legally separated at this point.
The guys brought in a picture of the chick that Ronnie brought to the party. Artie said she was really hot and she looked Brazilian to him. Ronnie said that she's actually Italian. Artie told him that he loves that look and the tan she had.
Another caller asked to meet Artie when he does his show in Upstate New York. Artie hooked the guy up with tickets and said that he could meet him there no problem.
The guys talked about Scott the Engineer and how miserable he looked at the Bat Mitzvah. Ronnie said that he can't figure out why he's so miserable. Then he said he could but didn't want to say what it was. Artie said that he can relate to Scott and he finds himself sitting at the foot of his bed weeping for no apparent reason. Gary said that if his father heard him saying that, he'd grab him by the back of the neck and tell him he's out of his mind because he's got a great life.
Ronnie asked Artie if he's ever thought about doing something to himself when he's sitting there weeping. Artie said that he could just run and jump off the terrace at his apartment. He said he does have thoughts like that, especially after the heroin thing when he was trying to get off that stuff. He said he's really not suicidal but he does get bummed out and weeps a little bit until he coughs and wonders what the hell else could go wrong.
Jon took another call from a guy who brought up Artie's depression and said that he may need to get out of his apartment and do something else. Artie said that this new house is a big deal and he thinks that things will be good with that.
Scott the Engineer came in and said that he was happy at that Bat Mitzvah and that's as happy as he gets. Gary said that Scott is just an observer and that's what he was doing at the party.
Jason was in and said that the first time they saw Artie sitting at a table eating all by himself they thought that it was kind of sad. They figured that he was doing something just like Scott would do. Artie said he could relate to Scott about the dog thing last week and he knows just how he was feeling. He said that he wouldn't care about the dog either and he really relates to that stuff.
Scott said that he can't drink that much when he goes out because he has to drive all the time. Jon said that he was asking Scott for his opinion on the whole DJ thing and asked him if everything was okay with that. That led to the guys goofing on Scott about his DJ days and what he might have sounded like in those days. Ronnie said that Scott had a video of himself that he sent out to clients that they have to show everyone there.
Gary told a story about Scott doing all kinds of lame stuff at a party they went to one time and know they didn't want him doing any of that at his wedding. They talked about that on the air and it turned out to be a great bit there.
Jon said that he had this guy from ESP do the DJ thing at his party and they brought some dancers which turned out to be a great thing to have. He wasn't so sure about it but the guy talked him into it and it worked out very well.
Artie said he knew of this guy who called himself Benny Buton and the Basta Chots that would go out and do stuff like that. He said that they actually had them at a party one time and they turned out great.
Ralph called in and said that it's not just about Scott being no fun, he just drains the energy out of the room like a black cloud. He said that he's just a real bummer. Jason said that he agrees with that. he's not doing anything wrong, but he does drain the energy. He's able to illustrate his own misery very well. Jon had to take a break around that time.
Gary said that he had a great experience years ago with Jury Duty. He said that he wanted to say terrible things to get out of it but it turned out there was a guy there who recognized him and helped him get out of it. He told JD that he should use Howard's name to get out of stuff like that. He said he should use Howard's name for two things, getting out of Jury Duty and getting laid. JD said that when you get out of it, you're out for like 8 years or something like that.
Jon asked JD about the sneakers he wore to his kid's Bat Mitzvah and if he put any thought into that. JD just laughed with that hoot he has. He said he was trying to have that Justin Timberlake look at the party. He said he had a good time there at the party and had fun playing Guitar Hero with Jason and some 10 year old kid.
Jon took a call from a guy who asked if they're not able to get high quality guests now that they're on satellite radio. Gary said that he doesn't think that's the case at all. There were many days at terrestrial radio where they didn't have good guests. They don't have a lot of people around right now and there's a writer's strike going on so no one is going out and doing shows.
Another caller said he wanted to talk about Ronnie and his date because he's a 62 year old guy who's married and has a 22 year old girlfriend. He said he's known her for 5 years now. He said that his wife even encouraged him to go out with this girl. After a short time he and this young woman were in bed together. He said that he's with the chick 2 or 3 times a week.
Jon moved on to the next caller who asked Benjy about how he claims he can get dates but then he asked Ivy to go to Jon's party with him. Benjy said that Jon didn't have room for Ivy and he couldn't bring her. He's still friendly with her.
A caller brought up how Sal is always claiming that he was going to school to be a radiologist but he was really going to be an X-ray technician, not a radiologist. He said that's like Dr. Phil calling himself a doctor when he's just got a PHD. Gary told the guy that was a good catch.
The guys talked about Britney Spears and how scary her life has become lately. Gary said that it seems like she might be heading down that Anna Nicole road.
Gary said that he always thought that Howard liked doing those shows because of some of the stuff he said during the History of Howard Stern special. He said he didn't know that Howard was so miserable doing those appearances. Gary said that Howard feels the pressure of trying to be that guy who entertains and that's why he has so much trouble.
Jon took a call from a guy who said that the best way to get out of jury duty is to just throw the thing in the mail when the notice shows up in the mail. It's not something that's registered mail or anything. JD said that he got him there. He didn't just throw his in the garbage.
Gary said that they get jury notifications from voter registration and he knows a guy who has never voted because he doesn't want to go to jury duty. He's 46 and has never voted.
Jon took some more phone calls and one guy said that he wishes that they'd repeat the Wrap Up Show. He went on to say that he thinks that what Howard is doing to Letterman is the same thing that Seinfeld is doing to their show by not showing up on their show. The guys told him that Howard is doing letterman and it's not the same thing as the Seinfeld thing.
Ralph called in and said that people are stupid when they talk about stuff like that guy just said. He said that the guy sounded intelligent but he came off stupid when he said what he said. Jon tried to take another call but the guy hung up. Gary said the note said that he wanted to say that Ralph was a scumbag so that might be why he hung up.
Gary and Ralph talked about some of the stuff that was going on at Jon's party over the weekend. Jon went to some more phone calls after that and let some more people get in their questions and comments. One guy said that they don't replay the Wrap Up Show after every show. Jon said that they do play it after some of the shows through so it's not just this one play.
The guys talked about the jury duty thing again and Ralph said that he thinks that he'd actually enjoy doing something like that. He'd like to see how that whole process works. Gary said that Ralph has that three days to give up though, JD doesn't. He has a job to do while Ralph doesn't.
Richard Christy had apologized to Jon for the amount of money he gave to his daughter. Jon said he really didn't care. Richard said he went out and found a Bat Mitzvah card in a Duane Reade store and he was afraid that it was too religious or something. He said he never would have found a card out in Kansas. The guys had to wrap up the show a short time later.
Howard started off the show talking about going home to watch this movie ''Mr. Brooks'' with Kevin Costner and Demi Moore in it. He said that he didn't even know that it was in the theater. He said he got a copy of it and kind of knew what it was about. He asked Beth if she wanted to see it and it turned out to be a great movie. He said he didn't have any idea it was going to be that good. Robin said she agreed and Kevin Costner was really good in it. Howard said that William Hurt was really good in it as well.
Howard said that the movie is about a guy who is a serial killer and a very successful business man. He has a wife and a daughter and he's a killer. It's really good and even Dane Cook is really good in the movie. Fred hadn't seen it yet and said that he wants to check it out. Howard said that he's been avoiding Kevin Costner movies lately but that one was really good.
Artie said that good scripts are hard to come by and someone like Costner must have grabbed it when he came across it. Robin said that it was probably a first time screen writer and the only way it was going to get made was having someone like Costner in the movie. They talked about some other movies like ''Fracture'' which were really good and didn't do well in the theaters.
Howard ended up talking about how there are a lot of articles about how he hates Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner because they're living in his building these days. He said he doesn't hate them, he just hates that the paparazzi are swarming his building these days because they're there. He said that he wanted to go out yesterday and he just wasn't ready to be photographed but these guys all snap away. He said that he doesn't like the way he looks but these guys insist on snapping the shots. He said he looks like a Gabby Hayes motherfucker when he's out there. Howard said they do weird things with his pictures when they put them on shows like Entertainment Tonight.
Howard said Beth asked him if he wants to do anything for his birthday but he really doesn't want to. He said that they're going to go out to dinner with the kids but that's about it. He said that all of his kids are in town so he'll get to see all of them.
Robin asked Howard if he would want to have a big blow out when his next big birthday comes up. He said he really doesn't want to. He said they used to do that in the past to have some good radio shows but when you get older you just don't want to do that stuff.
Howard played a clip of Artie talking about that from yesterday's Wrap Up Show and explaining how he finds himself weeping in his bedroom on the foot of his bed. Artie was talking about Scott the Engineer at the time and how he can relate to him.
Artie said that he gets really bummed out when he's on his way to the airport and going out to a show or something. Howard told him that he needs to take up chess because he won't have time to think if he's playing the game instead of sitting around thinking about how much his life sucks.
Howard said that Artie can't figure out what to do with his free time so that's why he gets bummed out. Artie said he's right and he really does need to find something to keep him busy when he's not working. Howard suggested that he get some pussy too. If he's not getting that it can really effect your day. Artie said that he's doing okay with that but he does get mad when he sees a hot chick and thinks that he should be fucking that.
Howard said he doesn't know how JD gets through the day. He doesn't get any pussy and he must be miserable. Artie said that JD has come out on the road with him lately and he and Teddy bothy have a great time hanging out. He doesn't get that. JD said that he's 28 years old and he hasn't gotten laid since he had the hooker out in Vegas. That was months ago. Howard asked him how often he's jerking off. JD said it's not every day. Howard said he was jerking off every day when he was 28 and he was married at the time.
JD said he has roommates and stuff so he can't do it that often. He really doesn't do it that often. He said that sometimes he will get in a couple of jerk offs in a day. Howard said that he used to think about that stuff all the time and he'd plan on doing it.
Howard said that Dr. Lou kept him from jerking off when he was his roommate in college. He actually turns 54 today so he wished him a Happy Birthday.
Artie said that he ran into the hot chick that JD used to room with. He said he was walking down the street and this hot chick, who was a 9, came up to him and told him she was a fan. He stopped and talked to her and found out she used to be JD's roommate. He said it had to be torture for JD. JD said that it was a friend's sister and she was totally hot. She had a boyfriend who was one of those Abercrombie and Fitch guys so he knew he didn't have a shot.
Gary said that there was a hot intern asking JD about one of the other guys there at the show and he got all pissed off when that happened. She was asking about Tim's assistant Jared. Howard asked JD if he hates good looking guys. JD said ''of course'' to that. Howard said that they're all animals and women pick their men based on looks and status. Howard heard that JD won't even talk to Jared because he's so good looking. JD said that he and Jared just have opposing personalities so he doesn't talk to him.
Howard said that JD doesn't have a personality and Jared does. JD said that Jared has been very arrogant toward him and he doesn't like him. He said it's not a big deal, he just thinks that Jared thinks he's being funny and he's not.
JD wasn't sure what Jared was doing to him one day but he goofed on him one too many times so he told him he was never going to speak to him again. He thinks that Jared was kidding when he said he didn't care but he never did talk to him again. That was a couple of months ago.
Howard said he wanted to get a screening of this movie ''Cloverfield'' that JJ Abrams is putting out. He said they wanted to send over a guard to watch over the copy of the movie so he could watch it so he had to turn that down. He said that they have to be kidding if they think that he's going to bootleg their movie. He said that they seem to feel that he's some kind of criminal mastermind who can bootleg movies. He joked that he doesn't have to direct or write movies, he just steals them. He jokingly said he has a connection where he sells it off to a connection to distributes them to the street vendors.
Artie said that he still has video cassettes that have his favorite porn clips on them. He doesn't know how to transfer them to DVD so he still has a VCR.
Howard said that having a guy watching over him to see this movie would be really creepy. He said he really wanted to see the movie but not that bad. He'll just wait for it to come out on DVD.
JD has jury duty today and now he's not sure if he's going to be able to fly out to Vegas with Artie. Artie told him that Vegas is the only place he can get laid so he has to go. Howard said that if JD tells them at the court that it's the only way he can get laid, maybe they'll let him out. Howard and the guys were goofing on JD doing impressions of him.
Artie said that the guys that got JD laid last time are setting up Bob Levy with an engagement party out in Vegas. That should be interesting.
Howard congratulated Steve on his mention but he didn't want to get into all of this other stuff he wanted to talk about so he let him go. He said he didn't know where he was going with that stuff.
Howard let Grillo go but ended up talking about him for a few more minutes. He talked about this Page Six story and what that was all about.
Howard changed subjects and said that he still thinks that Hillary Clinton is going to be the Democratic nominee even though the press is talking about how she almost broke down crying yesterday. Howard and Robin talked about that for a few minutes. Robin was saying that women get all worked up about Barack Obama these days. She was talking about that when Steve Grillo called back in. He wondered why Howard hung up on him. Howard told him that it was boring, that's why he hung up.
Steve said that he just wanted to get in a plug for the radio show that he does. He said its on HardRockRadioLive.com and he's on Friday nights from 10pm to Midnight. He kept talking over Howard and Robin on the phone so that was another problem. Robin said that Steve gets very nervous so that may be one problem. Howard let him go and went on to talk about how the Mary Jo thing isn't that big of a deal. She basically just said that she got upset that Amy Fisher has a sex tape out there.
Howard said there was no news there in that story. He's not sure how Grillo made it into Page Six. He said that he was done talking about it and that's why he had hung up on him. Artie said that one of the best moments of 2007 on that special they ran was the argument between Steve and Tracy. He quoted some of that argument and then Howard played some clips from that show. Tracy and Grillo were arguing on the Intern Show one night and Howard talked about it on the show and played some of those clips.
Howard said that those two should get married. They sound like an arguing married couple. Howard continued to play the audio and had Artie laughing. He loved that argument.
Howard played another clip from where Grillo explained how he had his volume turned down that day and he was upset that they turned down his volume during that argument. He said he was dumbfounded after hearing that. He went off on Tracy again during that interview. He called Tracy the C-word. Artie said that he almost used the wrong word when he was explaining what went on with her.
The guys spent some time talking about Grillo and what he did that day when he screwed over the interns and Tracy by not hooking them up with booze at the bar he was working at. Howard played more of the tape of him going off on Tracy and explaining what he thought happened.
Howard played a prank call the guys made using clips of Steve's rant against Tracy. They called a woman by the name of Tracy and had him going off on her. The woman had no idea who he was or why he was calling her.
In the clip Hillary was talking about how she doesn't want to see the country fall backwards and started to get choked up. She was talking about how important the election is and how they really need to make some changes. Robin said that this is as real as Hillary has been so far and she warmed up to her after seeing that. Howard said he felt the same way about it. He said that you can't come across as a princess, you have to be accessible to the public. He said that she gave a heartfelt speech and that's what happened when she did.
Howard said that he's really digging this Ron Paul guy. He said he didn't know much about him until just a few days ago. He said he watched an interview he was doing on some show and thought that he agreed with just about everything the guy said. Beth said the same thing after they watched him. He said that he just found out yesterday that he's the only one who stood up for them about the FCC when that was all going down. He said that he's all for abolishing the FCC. Robin heard that and said that she might just have to vote for Ron Paul. Howard said that the guy is very bright and he's making a lot of sense.
Howard said he's been getting a lot of mail about Ron Paul so he read through some of that stuff. Some people were asking for him to allow the guy on his show to talk about his views. Howard whipped through a bunch of e-mails and even a guy in Canada was trying to get Ron Paul elected. Howard said that it was weird that he agreed with everything the guy stands for.
Howard said that this guy Fred Thompson is humorless and he just can't see voting him in. He said he comes across as a really angry guy and he can't imagine having him in office. He said it's like having your father yelling at you when the guy is speaking. You have to be good on TV these days when you're in office. That might not make for the best guy in office but that's the way things go.
Howard said that if he had to vote between Giuliani and Obama he'd probably have to go for Giuliani. He said he has to look into Obama's stuff a little more.
Howard said he was happy to see that there are people out there bashing Dr. Phil after he did that yesterday. He said that Dr. Phil was criticized over what he did with the Britney Spears situation. Howard said that guy doesn't know right from wrong. He spent a minute on him and goofed on him.
Howard said that the woman isn't suing over plagiarism, she's suing over the comments that Jerry made on Letterman. Fred had the clip so he played it for the guys. In the clip Jerry was talking to Dave about the wackos who wait in the woodwork to try and ruin their lives. Jerry said that there are some people who spring out and go wacko on them. Jerry said that the woman accused his wife of stealing some of her ideas for mushed up carrots. Dave thought that was crazy and so did Jerry. Jerry and Dave talked about that for a few minutes and Jerry was really going off on this woman about her claims that she was ripped off. He said that she has three names and he was afraid that she was going to be one of those assassins like Mark David Chapman.
Howard said that Jerry really slammed the woman and there is some similarity in the book. He said that it wasn't just mushed up carrots. He said that he's not sure exactly how similar it was but Jerry really was harsh on her and he's not sure why she has to be ridiculed over that. He said that she wasn't even complaining about it in public.
Robin said that Roger Clemens is suing too. She said that he's trying to make it look like he was injected with something that he didn't know about. Dominic Barbara called in and said that Jerry compared that woman to mass murderers and that's where he went wrong. He may have been able to get away with it if he hadn't done that. You can make fun of people like that but not in that way.
Dominic was also talking about Roger Clemens and how he could get into big trouble if it turns out he lied to congress. Howard thanked him for the call and let him go a short time later.
Howard said that he wished that he had taken steroids when he was younger instead of using acid and things like that. He said that you get no benefit from the acid, at least if he had taken the steroids he would have had some kind of results. Artie said that he was involved with KC's intervention and one of the things they were afraid he was on was steroids, but he had no idea what that would look like.
Program Director Tim Sabean came in and said that they worked things out with Bubba yesterday. They had a misunderstanding about what's happening with the show and there was a lot of chaos going on there. Howard had no idea what he was talking about. Tim said that they're supposed to keep them up to date on what they're going to do with their show every day and they didn't do that so there was some confusion there. Tim said they have a meeting about the show and they didn't so there was some confusion about that. Tim said that he just asked them where they were at and what was going on and Brent may have gotten him all fired up.
Tim's story had a lot of holes in it so Artie pointed that out. Tim said that his job never ends. Gary asked Howard if he wanted to listen in to Bubba's show this morning. He said he would like to hear that but ended up talking about how tough it must be for Bubba going back to terrestrial radio after being on satellite for a couple of years.
Howard took some calls from some guys who heard Bubba yesterday. They said that Bubba flipped out and said that he wanted to renegotiate his deal there and maybe get out of it. Howard thought that he was going to hear Bubba's show but he got dead silence when he picked up the phone. Gary said he thought that they had it set up right, they were just listening to the show on hold. They played a ''Baba Booey'' clip after that.
Howard got Bubba's show on hold and Bubba was talking about how nervous he was knowing that Howard was listening to them. Howard said that he'd like to talk to them so he told Gary to make that happen. Bubba and Brent were talking about some stuff that they were going to be doing. Howard got Spice Boy on the phone and then asked to talk to Bubba.
Bubba put Howard on the line and Howard told him that he wishes him well and that's all he wanted to tell him. He went on to talk about how Bubba has to hold down two jobs like a Jamaican. He said Bubba has to do that because he needs some money and he had to take the second job to make that money. Bubba was talking about how tough it is to not curse and to do a show like that after having so much freedom. Artie said that he had to write himself a huge note that said ''Don't curse'' so he wouldn't do that on the air with Bubba.
Howard said that he knows how tough it's going to be for Bubba to keep himself under control. Bubba said he's very nervous talking to Howard on SIRIUS may just get him fined by their parent company. He said that the contract that he had with SIRIUS is so unfair that he may end up getting fined over this phone call. He said that he was told not to sign it and he thinks that he won't make it all the way through it. Howard said he feels good that Bubba is making a living with COX broadcasting but it's got to be tough to be doing two shows a day.
Howard asked Bubba if he's going to be able to sustain this schedule. Bubba said he thinks he can do it. He said they're having a gym built across the street and they'll be able to work out over there during the afternoon while they wait to do the show on SIRIUS.
Howard asked Bubba if he's finding it difficult to do this show without cursing. Bubba said they were only an hour and 18 minutes into it so far so it was hard to tell. Bubba said that he hopes to be with Howard for a long time and he wouldn't be where he is right now without him. Howard wished him luck and said that they're going to listen in once in a while to see how things are going.
Brent talked about how the government is holding up the merger and that's one of the problems that they have. if that would go through, they might be able to make a better deal there at SIRIUS. They ended up talking about Ron Paul a little bit after Brent mentioned that they're all supporting him. They were talking about that stuff but Bubba said that they were about to go live on TV. He had to let Howard go so they could do that. Howard told him to go do that.
Artie said something about Tony Romo rhyming with Homo and Howard said he's not sure that they can even say that on the station they're on. Tim said that Bubba was having problems with a lot of words like dildo and things like that. Howard said that he can't say stuff like that on terrestrial radio. They talked about how great it is to be on satellite and how much freedom they have to speak like normal people.
Howard asked Tim if he uses deodorant because he had a big wet spot under his arm. Tim said he does but that place makes him sweat. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she's got a 15 year old daughter who weights 285 pounds. She said that she used to be fat herself but she's not anymore. She went on to say that her daughter chooses to over eat. She's been kind of chubby since she was a toddler. She said that she's morbidly obese now and she now has child protective services on her ass saying that she's doing something wrong. She said her daughter told people that she was encouraged to purge after eating.
Howard found that hard to believe that she'd tell her to purge after over eating. The woman said that she's lost 15 pounds in 4 months so it was helping. Robin said that's the wrong advice and she could be causing her child problems if she keeps doing that. She said that it can cause all kinds of problems. The woman said that she can't afford to get her daughter an operation and she can't afford to get her to therapy or anything like that. She said that she's been trying everything with her and she just can't help her out.
The woman said that she's not sure how often her daughter vomits but she figures that she does it fairly often. Now the child protective service is threatening to take her away from her and they could take the other three kids from her as well. Howard said that she is doing the wrong thing. Robin said there has to be something she can do other than having her daughter vomit up her food.
A caller asked the woman what she's feeding her kid that's making her that big. He said that she has to control her eating. The woman said that she's not forcing food into her mouth. She said that her daughter will just eat anything that she can. The caller said that they have to put a lock on the fridge or something then. The woman, Katie, said that she can't do that because she's got 3 other kids.
A woman called in and told the woman that Terri Schiavo went into a coma because of something similar to this. Katie said that they make sure that she's got the right electrolytes in her body and things like that. The other woman told her that she's going to have a lot of problems after vomiting and using cocaine might be safer than that.
Howard took another call from a woman who said that she took her daughter to a doctor who told them to just go to a nutritionist. She said that she has to keep the kid active and eating the right food. She said that her daughter is only 10 pounds overweight though. Katie said that her daughter is upset about her weight but she can't help the way she's eating. She said that the models in the magazines these days are purging too and she can't tell her any different.
Another caller said that this woman is a retard and she has to be able to control what her kid eats. Katie said that she doesn't keep junk food in her house. She said that if she has fresh potatoes, her daughter will whip up the mashed potatoes and eat them all. Katie said that she takes her daughter out to walk and does keep her active, she just can't control her eating.
Robin said that there has to be something that she can do other than what she's doing. Another caller suggested that this woman let her daughter date, that seemed to help Robin slim down because she lost a ton when she started dating Jim Florentine. Katie said that it's not that easy though.
Another caller said that he's 22 years old and weighs over 400 pounds so she has to get this kid under control or she'll end up like him.
Jessica Hahn called in and said that this throwing up is going to kill her. Jessica said that's what happened to her mom. She told her to go out and get her some fun exercise clothes and dress her up so she can get motivated to do this stuff. Katie said that they got a really cute dog and she has to go out and walk it. Jessica told her that she has to take care of herself first.
Irish John called in and said that she should let the state take her away, that way she'll save a ton of money on food. The woman said that he's the type of person who is going to make her life miserable.
Howard told the woman to get that girl out and moving and limit her food intake. Another caller said that they do need some chubby porn chicks so maybe this girl can grow up to do that. Howard let Katie go a short time later and said that she's a very disturbed woman.
Lisa said that she spoke to the director of the movie ''Teeth'' that Howard was talking about yesterday. She said that he's related to the famous artist Liechtenstein. Howard said he really liked the movie. He liked that and the ''Mr. Brooks'' movie.
Lisa also said she spoke to Dr. Keith Ablow about Dr. Phil and he agrees with Howard about what he was saying about him. She also talked to him about Ronnie the Limo Driver's split from his wife.
Lisa said that there was a mention of Howard's show in an article in the NY Times this weekend. Howard said he meant to read that yesterday but he didn't get to it until now. He quickly talked about that and then let Lisa go.
The caller said that Howard's friend Ross was the one who got the whole thing started. His name was mentioned in the Enquirer article that she was reading. It turns out this woman that Booker is dating ended up hitting a cop. Howard said that Ross and his wife went out with Booker. They were in a cab driving to dinner and he gets upset with a police car that was keeping them from getting to dinner. Gary said that Ross doesn't want to talk about it because he's all over the Philly news about this whole thing.
Gary said that Ross had gotten out of the car and asked them to move a little faster. It turned out to be an unmarked police car and there were some words exchanged and Booker's woman ended up doing something and they had some kind of altercation. He doesn't know all of the details though. There was something about her telling them that she was a reporter and started taking pictures. One of the cops saw her moving toward them and she ended up doing something about it.
Booker's girlfriend lost her job because of the altercation. It turns out this wasn't the first thing that she had done and there were a couple of other incidents that led to her firing. They talked about the guy that she used to date who works there in New York on a station there. Gary said he thought that this guy Chris Wragge was gay but it turns out he was married to Victoria Silvstedt and dated this woman that Booker is seeing now.
The guys were throwing out all kinds of details about this story. Howard said that this is great for Booker because he usually can't get any press. The woman on the phone said they should hire that chick to work for Howard 100 News. Howard said that they should do that, if they only had a budget.
Howard said that this might have been kind of dumb for them to fire this woman. He thinks that they should keep her in the news and they could probably get big ratings if they kept her on.
Howard said he saw Ross the other night and he told him that he learned his lesson after that whole thing. Gary said that Ross is humiliated by the whole thing. Gary said that he knows better than to get out of a car and say anything to anyone. He wouldn't dare do anything like that.
Howard doesn't get the whole club thing and why Ross would be out at 2 in the morning doing something like that. He's got a hot wife and he should be at home banging her instead. A phone caller pointed out that Ross is the same guy who cheated at the cookie party and brought store bought cookies and pawned them off as his own.
Howard said that cops have to deal with so much shit. He said he feels so bad for them. He had a clip from the show COPS where they have a woman getting all upset about her man getting arrested. In the clip the cop is telling a guy why he's in handcuffs and his woman is yelling at him about it. They had to handcuff her and put her in the police car as well. She proceeded to bang her head inside the car.
Howard said that they should have killed her off or something like that. Joey said they didn't want to kill off a big character like that. He said that they used the character Mefisto to go to Spider-Man and threaten to take away his Aunt May or take away his love that he has for his wife. The wife makes the deal and tells Peter to take it. Their memories were wiped out from their minds, it wasn't just a dream that Peter had. Howard said that he guesses that the story works. Joey said that they have more to come with that whole story and that stuff will come in the future.
Howard said he knows Joey and he's a good guy. He's really dedicated to these comic books. Joey said that they get a backlash about everything they do over there but that just shows how passionate the readers are.
Jason came in and told Joey to just kill off Aunt May because she's useless. Joey said that she's an important part of the mix and they can't get rid of her. Howard thanked Joey for calling in and let him go a short time later. Howard said he didn't want to spend too much time on that because he'd be getting backlash from his fans if he did that.
Artie said that he likes comic books but there's so much detail there. Howard said that he gets a lot of e-mail from Joey and he's got a lot of information in them. He said that the guy is very passionate about his job. Artie said that's the kind of guy you need for a job like that.
Howard said that poor Bubba can't even shock their pussies now. Gary said that they were talking to reporters so that probably wouldn't happen even if they were on SIRIUS. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard played some clips from John the Stutterer's show that aired last night on Howard 101. John was talking politics and stuttering up a storm. He said he can imagine someone tuning in for the first time after getting their new radio for Christmas and hearing some guy stuttering like crazy.
Howard played more of John's comments where he was trying to get out some stuff about Barack Obama and had a real tough time getting anything out. Fred ended up doing his impression of John winding up and finally spitting out some words. Howard said it sounded like starting up a car. Artie said that he fears for Fred's life when he does those impressions because he looks like he's going to pass out.
Howard said that John has people call in and try to get him riled up about Ann Coulter and things like that as well. He said he had a lot of other stuff to get to this morning so he wanted to move on to that.
Howard said that Blue Iris was in the hospital again and she's apparently writing a new movie or something. He played the clip where Iris left the message for Richard and talked about how she had a severe asthma attack and couldn't breathe. She said her throat closed up and she had a real big problem with that.
Howard played another voice mail where a guy went off on Robin about some of the stuff she does on the show. Then he played another Crazy Alice voice mail where she went off on Robin about her dating Jim Florentine. She thinks that Robin is a lesbian and told her to get away from him. She also went off on Robin about her cell phone ringing on the air. Robin said it was only twice.
Howard played another Crazy Alice clip where she went off on the guys about their dogs and paying ridiculous amounts of money for them. Alice said that it's just ''a fuckin' dog people!'' She said that she wouldn't pay 10 grand to fix the dog. She told Scott the Engineer to just get rid of that thing.
Howard said that Blue Iris is always calling in talking about getting sick. He said he doesn't play half of her stuff. He played another one of her messages where she was talking about her operation she had coming up when Robin's phone started to ring again! Howard told her to turn the thing off, she has to know how to do that. Robin picked up and it turned out to be Ralph calling just to make it ring during the show again. She said that he's such an asshole. Howard told him to keep calling until she learns how to turn it off. Robin said she knows how to turn it off and she just did.
Howard got back to the Blue Iris message where she's talking about how her feet are swollen and she can't urinate. Howard said that's like the new ''I've fallen and I can't get up'' thing. They had some fun with that for a few seconds before finishing up Blue Iris' voice mail.
In the clip Pat says that God said last year that there was going to be a nuclear attack so some people must have prayed and it saved them. Howard wondered if they have to pray to get that stuff to stop happening. He said it wasn't good enough that he just scared the shit out of us with his threats. Howard continued to play the clip where Pat talks about how the nuclear attack is still going to happen and there's going to be a recession there in the United States. He gives all kinds of updates on the prices of gold, oil and the stock market. God sure knows a lot about that stuff.
Howard said that it's weird that 99 percent of people who talk to god are in mental institutions but this guy is on TV. Pat said that he knows some information that he can't give out to people because he knows who is going to be a winner.
Howard said that it seems like there's a lot of negative stuff heading our way thanks to God. He said that there's really not much difference between this guy and Riley Martin. Artie said that the difference is that Riley is entertaining.
Howard took a call from Scott Ferrall who said that his sister worked with Pat Robertson for 15 years. He said that he didn't like his sister when he was a kid but she really got brainwashed by them when she was there. He said that she went out and got married, had some kids and had a wacko husband. He said that he didn't want to say anything bad about his sister but he didn't have a problem doing that about Pat.
Howard asked Scott if he still talks to his sister. He said he doesn't, but he still loves her. He said that he lost her along the way. He said that his father and sister were very Christian while he was a rock and roll loving guy. He said that she'd come home and preach all of this weird stuff. He said that she just wanted to be a news woman and she ended up doing it for Pat Robertson's CVN network.
Scott said that his sister was beyond a Jesus freak. She turned into one of those bizarre people who tries to save everyone. It was complete wacko stuff to him. He said that she married a guy who was a wacko as well. Scott said that he just wanted her to stay away from him so he hasn't seen her for a long time now. He said tat his father is only allowed to see his kid once a year and his sister has never seen her.
Scott said that his family thinks that he's going to hell because of his radio show. He said that he does have Satan call in once a week on his show and that guy controls the whole sports world. Howard let Scott go a short time later.
Artie said that Scott's show is amazing and he got some tips from him and they paid off. He said his show is very entertaining.
Howard got back to the Pat Robertson thing and one caller said that it's funny how Pat talks about financial stuff with God and not so much spiritual stuff. Howard said that there's so much bullshit in this world, he should have gone out and done stuff like that to make money.
Howard asked Artie what celebrity chick he'd like to bang right now. Artie said he used to say Jessica Alba but she's pregnant now. He said that Jason found some shots of Jennifer Aniston showing off her ass and she looked great. Howard said she's got a sour puss on her face and doesn't seem like a fun person. He said she looks pissed off all the time. Artie said that Jessica Alba's ass shot was amazing.
Howard asked Fred who he'd like to bang. He said that he'd go with Angelina Jolie or maybe Scarlett Johansen. He said that she doesn't look that hot without make up though. The guys showed Howard the shot of Jessica Alba's ass that Artie was talking about. Howard said he might have to change his mind. He said that was some ass. Artie said that it was an amazing ass.
Artie also brought up the chick from the Transformers movie, Megan Fox, who he and Howard both find hot. Howard said that she's not so hot now that he knows that she's engaged to Brian Austin Green. He said that knocked her down a notch.