Daily Highlights/News Archives.

For the week of 07/02/2007 to 07/06/2007

  • Howard Stern's Mammary Lane. 07/02/07. 6:00am
  • The Stripper Knowledge Game Replay From May 3, 2001. 6:00am
  • KC Accidentally Kills A Dog Replay From February 11, 2002. 07/02/07. 6:45am
  • Lord Of The Anal Ring Toss Replay From January 8, 2003. 07/02/07. 7:10am
  • American Idol Reject William Hung Visit Replay. 07/02/07. 7:35am
  • Vincent Gallo Interview Replay From August 26, 2004. 07/02/07. 8:30am
  • Gary's Nude Beach Story Replay. 07/02/07. 9:15am
  • Gilbert Gottfried News Segment Replay From October 29, 2003. 07/02/07. 9:35am
  • Homeless Game April Fools Replay From April 1, 1999. 07/02/07. 10:05am
  • Wack Pack Family Feud Replay From September 8, 2005. 07/02/07. 10:45am
  • Dixie Cupps Male Queen For A Day Replay From August 17, 2001. 07/02/07. 11:35am
  • Mr. Blackwell With Billy West Replay. 07/02/07. 12:00pm
  • Guy Who Had Sex With A Dolphin Replay From July 23, 1997. 07/02/07. 12:45pm
  • Howard Stern's Mammary Lane Day 2. 07/03/07. 6:00am
  • ''Please, Somebody Just Give Me A Chance'' Woman Replay From September 13, 2004. 07/03/07. 6:00am
  • Pamela Anderson Lie Detector Test Replay From August 3, 2004. 07/03/07. 6:15am
  • Eazy-E Interview Replay. 07/03/07. 7:15am
  • Artie's Las Vegas Whore Story Replay From February 12, 2002. 07/03/07. 7:55am
  • Dexter Carter Replay. 07/03/07. 8:25am
  • Michelle Rodriguez Interview Replay From June 29, 2001. 07/03/07. 8:45am
  • Lesbian Dating Game Replay. 07/03/07. 9:30am
  • Madonna's Sister Paula Replay. 07/03/07. 11:00am
  • Bruce Willis Call Replay. 07/03/07. 11:30am
  • David Lee Roth Replacing Howard Replay From October 25, 2005. 07/03/07. 12:05am
  • Danny Mags, Fart Sniffer Replay from February 18, 1999. 07/03/07. 12:55pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 6-7am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 7-8am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 8-9am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 9-10am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 10-11am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 11am-12pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 12-1pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 1-2pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 2-3pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 3-4pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 4-5pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 5-6pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 6-7pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 7-8pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 8-9pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 9-10pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 10-11pm
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/04/07. 11pm-12am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/05/07. 12am-1am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/05/07. 1am-2am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/05/07. 2am-3am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/05/07. 3am-4am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/05/07. 4am-5am
  • The Music Of Howard Stern. 07/05/07. 5am-6am
  • Howard Stern's Master Tape Theatre - August 4, 2004. 07/06/07. 6:00am
  • Ralph Hanging Out With Pam Anderson!? 08/04/04. 6:00am
  • Howard Phones In The Show From Pam Anderson's Hotel Room. 08/04/04. 6:40am
  • Howard Returns From Pam's Hotel Room. 08/04/04. 7:00am
  • Howard Live From Pam's Hotel Room Again! 08/04/04. 7:35am
  • Pam's Hotel Room Wrap Up Part 2. 08/04/04. 8:20am
  • James And Jen Talk About Stem Cell Research. 08/04/04. 8:50am
  • Eric The Midget And More During The News. 08/04/04. 9:40am s

-- Monday, July 2, 2007 --

  • KC Accidentally Kills A Dog Replay From February 11, 2002. 07/02/07. 6:45am
    After that segment Will and Jason introduced the next one which was a segment where KC talked about killing his girlfriend's dog with rat poison. Here's my write up from February 11, 2002:

    Howard had KC come in to talk about how he almost killed his girlfriend's dog. Howard said he lives in such a horrible place that he's got rat poison laying around the apartment. The dog ended up eating some of it. KC called a vet's office and they had him do some stuff to try and get it to puke it up. That didn't work so they had to bring it to the vet and they got the dog to puke. KC said the dog was fine for a week and then one morning they woke up and found the dog stiff as a board in bed with them. Howard thinks that the poison killed the dog but KC said that the Vet's office told him it could have been something else that killed it. Robin thinks it was the effects of the poison that killed the dog but KC refuses to take responsibility for killing it. Robin thinks it damaged the dog's liver or kidneys and slowly killed it.

    KC bought his girlfriend a squeaky guitar toy from the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino because he thought she was going to get another one. When he got home she didn't have a new dog but he gave her the squeaky toy anyway. KC said she's still looking to get a new dog. KC said he really did care about the dog and he's actually upset about it dying.

    Howard tried getting in contact with the dog psychically as a goof. Fred played some dog barking sound effects so Howard could ''speak'' to the dog. He asked the dog, who barked once for ''yes'' and twice for ''no'', if he blames KC for his death. Of course the dog barked once. Howard also barked yes when Howard asked him if he thought KC was gay and if he's ever seen KC have gay sex.

  • Lord Of The Anal Ring Toss Replay From January 8, 2003. 07/02/07. 7:10am
    The next segment introduced by Will and Jason was the segment where Artie was crowned Lord of the Anal Ring Toss. Here's my write up from that day:

    Howard said this porn actress contacted them and told them that she takes an 18 inch stick and puts it in her ass so people can play ring toss. Doug from E! was in to tell Howard that they can have 7 people play together. Howard said they want to have everyone put up $100 each and whoever wins gets the money. Doug showed Howard the 18 inch stick that the woman uses for the game. Howard said it's a good 4 inches that she puts in her ass. All of the guys spent a few minutes talking about how they were going to play the game. They also changed the dollar amount to $50 instead of $100. After figuring all of that out Howard had the woman come in. Her name is Ally and she was really hot according to Howard. Howard told her she's better looking in person than she is in the porn movies he saw. Ally's friend Cat also came in with Ally. Howard recognized her from the porno he saw. Howard spent a few minutes talking to Ally and Cat about their lives and tried to figure out what went wrong in their lives to make them get into this stuff. The girls didn't really have anything bad to talk about though. Gary tried to find out how Ally got into porn. Ally said she and some friends just talked about it and came up with the idea.

    Howard asked Ally how she was going to go about this. She said she gets on all fours and sticks the stick in her ass. Then the guys toss their rings. Howard said they'll give her lots of plugs for doing this. Gary had said they'd give her a plug each time they got a ring on the stick but Howard gave her one right away. You can check her out at

    Howard described Ally getting stripped down and said she was completely shaved down. She's 5'9'' tall and weighs 125 pounds. Howard said that's what women that tall should weigh. As Ally put the stick in her ass all of the guys just went ''OH!'' as they saw it happen. Howard said he couldn't even describe what was going on. Howard then had Stuttering John go first with the rings. John tossed his 3 rings and got 2 of them on the stick. Artie was next. He also got two rings on. Gary also got two rings. Benjy was up next and got just one. Robin even got in on the ring toss. She didn't get even one on the stick. KC was next. He tossed his three rings and only got one on. Finally, Howard got up and tossed his rings. He got just one ring on so he was out of the finals. John, Artie and Gary were all in the finals so they had a toss-off. Gary was up first and didn't get any this time. Artie went up and got one ring. John was last and blew it. He missed all three so Artie was Lord of the Anal Ring Toss.

    Howard spent a minute talking to Ally and gave her another plug for She said they do just about everything on the site.

  • American Idol Reject William Hung Visit Replay. 07/02/07. 7:35am
    The next segment introduced was when William Hung was on the show December 8, 2004. Here's my write up from that day:

    Howard came back and played some of William Hung's music since he was there for his interview. Howard said he'd be coming in with his mother. They played some songs from his ''Inspiration '' CD which sold 380,000 copies. Gary told Howard that his mother would not be in, she doesn't want to be on camera. William came in a few seconds later to promote his new album ''Hung for the Holidays.'' Howard said he's much bigger in person than he is on TV.

    Howard talked to William about how people seem to think that he's retarded and wondered why that is. He also wondered if his singing is supposed to be a joke or not. William said it's something he takes seriously and he does the best he can when he's performing. William said that the chances of becoming a Kelly Clarkson are not good. He said he went down to perform for American Idol because he'd won a talent contest at UC Berkeley. He believes that he's a legitimate singer and he puts a lot of effort into his singing. William told Howard how he grew up for a short time in Hong Kong before his family moved to the United States.

    Howard asked William about whether or not he's had sex yet. William said he would talk to Howard about that later. Robin asked him if he's kissed a girl yet. He said he did do that once he got famous. Howard said that some people think that William is not a smart guy but he's actually a smart dude. He was studying to be an engineer when all of this fame hit him. Howard had a few questions to ask him about engineering. He first asked him what type of demolition is used to collapse a building inwards. William didn't know but Robin knew it was Implosion. Howard asked him another question about GPS that he didn't know the answer to. Howard asked him a question about the longest bridge and William said that he wasn't ready for a test this morning. He was able to answer a question about how many degrees a right angle is so Howard kind of let him off the hook after that.

    Howard talked to William about his girl situation. William said that he has to find a girl that likes him for who he is, not because he's famous. Howard wondered if he would date Paris Hilton if she wanted to date him. William said he's not sure but he is able to make his own decisions about stuff like that. He's 22 years old and his mother just helps him and guides him in his career. Howard wondered why he didn't want to kiss Jenny McCarthy on stage at some award show. William wasn't familiar with that event so Howard had to fill him in. William said that was actually a rumor and it wasn't the reason he refused to do that show. He said that it had to do with him not wanting to make people think he gambles.

    Howard was asking William about what he wears to bed but that was getting a little too personal. Howard asked him if he's ever touched himself. William said that was a little too personal and he didn't want to go there with Howard. Howard asked him what chicks he thinks about. He said that he likes Kelly Hu and Michelle Kwan but he also likes all kinds of other women. He would like to be married and have kids some day, when it's time. Howard wondered who the first girl was that he kissed once he got famous. William said that it's usually the women who kiss him first, he doesn't do it himself. Howard figures that he's never tongue kissed a girl and he was right. Howard said they need to bring him to Scores. He asked William about watching porn and William said he has seen some porn but he just watches it and enjoys it in his mind. Howard figured he was lying about that though. Fred played some porn audio clips and William asked him to stop. He asked Howard to change subjects because there are so many other things to talk about.

    Howard asked William about a deal he could have had in Las Vegas where he would only have to sing two songs on stage and he'd be making $10,000. William said that was true but the rumors about him getting death threats were not true. William is trying to maintain a healthy image and he didn't want to perform at certain night clubs out there in Vegas. Howard wondered what kind of deal William has with his mother because there have been kids who get ripped off by their parents in the past. William says that all of that stuff is personal and confidential. He said he trusts his mother and it's a family business. He said there are not many agents out there that he'd trust.

    William said that he has done some commercials for Wal-Mart and some other places. That's one reason he has to keep a clean image. Howard asked him if he's ever seen a Playboy. William said that he's only seen it on TV and that was about it. Howard asked him if he's ever seen a woman's private parts. William asked ''What do you mean?'' and asked Howard to stop there. He wasn't comfortable with those questions. Howard told William that he watches porno all the time and he pulls his pants down and has some fun. He was just being honest with William and he can't believe that William doesn't pleasure himself. William said he wants to stop talking about that stuff to protect his image.

    Howard gave William a couple of plugs for his new album ''Hung for the Holidays'' and for the William Hung bobble head that's also out today. Artie told William that ''Hung for the Holidays'' is the name of a porn movie. Howard told him that it is a play on a sexual term. William doesn't believe that's the case though. They also pointed out that the song ''She Bangs'' is also about sex so they are surprised that he would sing about something like that. William will also be signing copies of his new CD at the FYE on 6th Ave. This afternoon.

    Howard took some phone calls for William. One guy said he'd rather see William perform over all of those other American Idol people like Kelly Clarkson and Clay Aiken. Howard asked William if he thinks that Clay Aiken likes girls or boys. William said that was it and he didn't want to talk about other people like that. William said that he likes girls himself and only has guys as friends. Sal the Stockbroker called in as a listener and asked William how much it would cost to launder a couple of shirts. Howard hung up on him and told him that was wrong. Howard asked William to say a few things in Cantonese but he refused to say a couple of the suggested lines. Zolar called in and asked William if he's ever been tested for mongoloidism because he is a retard. Howard hung up on him a short time after that.

    Howard asked William which song he'd like played off of his new album. William said that he would like to hear ''Winter Wonderland.'' Howard played the song and Artie laughed as he heard it. Howard told William he should remake the song ''I Like Bukkake.'' William said that's one he will not do because he's trying to become a legitimate singer. Artie told him he had a perfect name for his band... ''Chink Floyd.'' Howard asked him if he would do a porn movie if he was offered a million bucks. William said he would never do anything like that for any amount of money. Howard asked him what his favorite TV show is right now. William said that he likes ''The Amazing Race.'' Howard and William also talked about a few other shows including ''American Idol.'' William said he watches the show to see what else they're going to come up with on that show. Howard asked William what his real name is because William is his American name. William said that his real name is Hung Hing Chang. The guys said they'd rather have him go by that name.

    Howard asked William for his thoughts on Fred the Elephant Boy's cover of ''It's the End of the World.'' William said that he's not a judge and he doesn't play the role that Simon Cowell plays. He said that everyone has different styles and he just wouldn't bad mouth Elephant Boy. Hook Nose Mike called in a short time later and told Howard to give William his own radio show on Sirius. Howard said he would do that and said that he will talk to his mother about that. Howard said they could call it ''Hanging out with Hung'' or something like that. Howard wrapped up the interview shortly after giving William a few more plugs for his new album. Howard tried to get him to come over and sit on his lap but William passed. Howard had a little bit of fun making gay jokes and coming on to him as if he were attracted to him. William seemed kind of uncomfortable so Howard told him he was just joking around. He took a break a short time later.

  • Vincent Gallo Interview Replay From August 26, 2004. 07/02/07. 8:30am
    After a commercial break the guys came back with the next segment which was an interview with Vincent Gallo from August 26, 2004. Here's my write up from that day:

    After the commercials Howard had the edited version of the Tom Brokaw news report where they fixed the Bukkake reference. They had his report with the corrected city name of Buchalki in there. Howard replayed the original live version as well to compare the two.

    Howard got a letter from someone who told him that his name is on some kind of prayer calendar. He is the focus of tens of thousands of people who pray for him every day. They were asking Howard to appear at this event where they would pray for him in person. Howard read through the letter and said that they gave him a number to call if he wanted to find out more. Howard said they may just have to make that call later on.

    Howard said this guy Vincent Gallo once prayed for someone to get cancer and it worked. There were some other things that he quickly mentioned before Vincent came in and cursed on the air. Howard told him he can't use that word on the air and warned him about certain other words as well. Howard and Vincent went on to talk about an interview that Vincent did one time with the NY Times. They were supposed to let him see the final product and use a picture they supplied. The woman, that Vincent called a witch, made some changes so he ended up wishing cancer on her. Howard said that actually worked when he wished cancer on Roger Ebert and he ended up getting cancer. Gallo said that Ebert is a nice guy and it's nice to see him on a better diet now. Vincent called Ebert a fat pig after he got a bad review on a movie and then wished cancer upon him. On the Ebert and Roeper show they bashed this movie of his ''The Brown Bunny'' and really bashed it. Even Vincent said some stuff about the movie not being all that good. Vincent said he actually talked about how he made the movie for himself and it was kind of self indulgent.

    Vincent Gallo got so upset with Roger Ebert about the things he said that he wished cancer upon him. Vincent said that many things that he has wished for, both good and bad, have actually come through. Vincent also went off on this guy up in Buffalo who calls himself Sandy Beach who has given him bad reviews.

    Roger Ebert was on the phone to talk to Vincent about this whole cancer thing. Ebert said that he heard that Vincent has bad aim because he was trying to give him colon cancer but missed and gave him prostate cancer instead. Vincent and Roger have made up since the whole cancer thing but Vincent still dislikes the review he got from Roeper. It was a line about the movie being like a steaming pile of excrement is what got to him. Ebert said that he did see ''The Brown Bunny'' in 2003 and it was the worst film he'd seen at the time. Vincent has edited it since then and cut out 26 minutes of the movie. Ebert said he didn't miss one minute of it.

    Howard asked Vincent what he thinks is the worst movie ever made. He heard that Vincent has even bad mouthed Robert De Niro. Vincent told Howard that he has inspired many bad actors and that's what he has said. He said Ed Norton is one of those clones. They were all over the place talking about other actors like Leonardo DiCaprio who Vincent once called the best looking chick around.

    Roger told Howard that Vincent's comments about him really didn't bother him all that much. He knows that there are other actors out there who feel that way. Sean Penn once wrote him a letter defending one of his performances and he appreciated getting the letter from him because he was letting him know how he felt without just calling him names. Roger said you can see their review of Vincent's new movie on Ebert and Roeper this weekend. Howard let him go after that and got back to Vincent.

    Howard talked to Vincent about how he likes feeling alone and won't get married. Howard believes that he doesn't really like women all that much although he does get laid a lot. There's a lot of controversy about his new movie because he has Chloe Sevigny giving him real oral in a sex scene. Howard just wanted to know if it was good oral. There were a few delay hits during this discussion so we missed out on some of it. Vincent did say that they did more than one take for the sex scene though.

    Howard read through some of the notes he had about Vincent about how he screwed up his back so bad that he has trouble sleeping and has screwed up some relationships with some friends of his. He is friends with Johnny Ramone and kind of screwed up his relationship with him. Johnny is sick now and Vincent feels bad about that but he just didn't have enough time to spend with the guy.

    Howard brought up some other names like Christina Ricci. Vincent has said some stuff about her being drunk on the set and how much better she was when she wasn't drunk. Vincent also said she was like a puppet and she did what he said when he made the movie ''Buffalo 66'' with her. He even called her the C-word. Vincent said she had a miserable publicist who wanted her to promote another film at the time instead of his movie. Vincent called James Cameron a pig at some point but even Vincent didn't remember doing that. He once called Quentin Tarantino an asshole. He motioned with his fingers that Tarantino smokes weed and said he does it all day and night.

    Howard read that Vincent once made out with Darryl Hannah. Vincent said that was about all they did. He thinks she's really pretty but a little too tall for him. He also dated Paris Hilton. He said that she's the greatest and she's very sexual. He made a movie with her about 5 years ago and she looked great at the time. He said that she's the sweetest girl of all time in his opinion. Howard wondered why he didn't stay with her. Vincent said he just wasn't in love with her.

    Howard asked Vincent about where he lives because he read that he refuses to leave the 300 square foot apartment he lives in now. Vincent said he owns about $7 million worth of real estate and lives in this 300 square foot apartment because he's been there so long. Howard wanted to get political with Vincent. He asked him about George W and why he's backing his administration. Vincent said there are some bright people in his administration but Howard couldn't believe that he was saying that.

    Howard gave Vincent a plug for his movie ''The Brown Bunny'' that opens this weekend. Vincent told people to vote for Bush this November but Howard said that he wants people to vote for Kerry. The two of them differ on that stuff. Howard only spent a few seconds on that and then took some phone calls. A woman from Buffalo called in and got Vincent so pissed at her that he wouldn't stop with the S-word. Howard and Artie had to yell at him to stop. The delay was hit a couple of times during that. Howard asked Vincent about living up in Buffalo and about his parents who live up there.

    Gary came in and told Howard that Vincent was a chronic masturbator when he was younger. Vincent said that he was actually arrested for that at one time when he was caught outside beating off. He tried to explain to Howard about what he did back then but the delay hits were coming left and right so we didn't hear much of this conversation. Vincent told the story about how he was caught by the cops beating off and how his father beat him for 9 days after that. He was told that he ruined the family so he was no longer allowed to be happy. After all of that Vincent never whacked off to any women out in public again. He said his mother never looked at him the same way again after that though.

    Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said she doesn't know much about Vincent but she does kind of like him after reading about him. She was wondering what was up with him picking Cheryl Tiegs for his movie. He said making out with her was one of the highlights of his life. The guys also talked about Angelica Houston and how horrible she was.

    Howard let a few more callers through. A couple of people had some nice things to say about Vincent. There were also a couple of people who don't like the guy and let him know. One guy told Howard to ask Vincent about Christina Ricci peeing on the set of the movie. Vincent said it wasn't on the set, it was at a restaurant in the middle of the floor. Vincent said that he heard from the crew members and the restaurant owner that she had done that but he didn't see it first hand.

    Howard had Vincent go off on a few people that he hates. He had a whole list of about 10 people that he hates. He went off on all of these reporters and some other people calling them names. Vincent was also talking about a reporter from Page Six who he may just curse with cancer. He said it feels great to get that stuff out there and he would love to have a radio show where he could do that every day. Howard has wished cancer upon people in the past and has gotten into trouble with that. Most recently he wished cancer upon Lowry Mays and it seems to be working. Howard told Vincent that he can call in anytime he wants to wish cancer upon someone. He then started to wrap up the segment and gave Vincent a plug for his movie ''The Brown Bunny'' again. The movie opens this weekend and you get to see Vincent getting oral from Chloe Sevigny. Howard went to break after that.

  • Gary's Nude Beach Story Replay. 07/02/07. 9:15am
    Up next was a segment where Gary tells a story about flies flying around his ass when he was out on a nude beach. I wasn't able to find this in my archives since it probably took place in the early 1990s. Gary talks to Howard about going to this nude beach in a place called Gayhead. Howard checks out some pictures of Gary and his girlfriend at the time and talked about how hot she was. Howard said Gary must have been showing him the picture because she was so hot.

    Howard goofed on Gary about the pictures he was looking at because his girlfriend was working on a sand sculpture and this guy is standing there nude with his penis right near her face. Gary said that everyone told him he should go to that beach when he was there so that's why he went. There were some gay guys there who had rubbed some grey clay all over their bodies.

    Gary said that the people there at the beach aren't all good looking. They're mostly older women and men. He went on to tell Howard about how he took his pants off and laid down on his stomach. Then a fly started flying around his ass so he put his pants back on. Howard and Robin started goofing on him about that as soon as they heard it. Howard quickly upped the number from 1 fly to 35 flies flying up his ass. Howard was making fun of him saying that it was hilarious that he had a bunch of flies on his ass. Gary corrected him and said it was just one.

    Fred started to play some swarm sounds to make it sound like there were a bunch of flies around. Howard told him to play that every time he comes in there from then on. Howard said that he's surprised that the flies picked his ass and not his mouth.

    Howard went off on Gary for telling someone about something that was supposed to be private. While he was yelling at him Fred played the swarming flies sound effect. Howard said he was going to call Gary to yell at him over the weekend but he held off. He asked Gary to keep some things private and not tell everyone what kind of stuff he has going on. He went to break a short time later.

  • Gilbert Gottfried News Segment Replay From October 29, 2003. 07/02/07. 9:35am
    Jason introduced another clip where Gilbert Gottfried was on the show and ended up goofing on some stuff during the news with Artie. This news segment was from October 29, 2003. I didn't have full details about what went on though.

    In the clip Howard talks to Gilbert about being sick one time and how he had to be asked to mention his name on the show because no one was paying any attention to him. Howard has Robin start her news but Gilbert and Artie start doing impressions and goofing around about the stories so Robin can barely get her stories out. Gilbert was throwing out a bunch of racist remarks that had Artie laughing his ass off.

    Chaunce Hayden called in and brought up the story about Gilbert being in the hospital and how he ran a story about it in Steppin' Out. Howard talked about that a little more and how he got Richard Belzer and Penn and Teller to go see him. Chaunce said that Gilbert was really upset with Howard back then because he wasn't helping him out enough. Howard said he did plenty for him though. He had Robin get back to her news after that.

    Gilbert started doing his Racist Pope impression and threw in a bunch of racist comments in the middle of the news. Artie was laughing his ass off again while Howard seemed to be trying to tone him down a little bit. Gilbert would interrupt every story. Howard took some phone calls during the news and one woman said that she almost peed her pants laughing so hard at Gilbert. Howard told her that he'd defecated in his pants.

    Gilbert did his Pope impression again and had some fun goofing around with that. He was throwing the N-word around a little bit during the news so Howard wondered if he's the only comic out there who uses that word. Gilbert kept doing his racist Pope stuff throughout the rest of Robin's news segment. Robin would read a story and Gilbert would find something to goof on as the racist Pope.

  • Homeless Game April Fools Replay From April 1, 1999. 07/02/07. 10:05am
    The next segment was one where they played a homeless game on April Fools day and Howard was the only one who didn't know the answers. Jackie and everyone else knew and bet him, winning each time. Here's my write up from that day:

    The guy who gave Howard the name of the Wayne Rogers movie asked if he could play the homeless game as a reward for his help. Howard agreed and let him play. This time it was Lisa the blind Playmate who was on the show March 17. They gave her the homeless questions and it turned out to be pretty interesting. Here's the first warm-up question:

    The caller played and had to get 3 out of five correct. He got the first three correct so he won right away.
    QuestionCaller SaysPlaymate AnswerCorrect Answer?
    How many wheels on a tricycle?YThreeY
    Can you name one Poultry.YChickenY
    Who fought the Civil War?NGeorge WashingtonN

    After the caller played everyone else in the studio bet on the game. Howard was losing every bet he made. He was down $400 to Jackie by the end of the game. It turned out that everyone but Howard was given the answers so they could play an April Fools joke on Howard. It worked perfectly and freaked Howard out. He told them he'd get them back next year. Here are the questions:
    QuestionPlaymate AnswerCorrect?
    Name one country that fought against the US in World War II.GermanyY
    Who wrote ''Mein Kampf''?Abe LincolnN
    Who was the first president of the US?Don CherryN
    What president is on the 1 dollar bill?George WashingtonY
    What president is on the 5 dollar bill?Abe LincolnY
    What is 10 percent of 100?TenY
    What is 20 percent of 200?TwentyN
    Who is buried in Grant's tomb?King Tut/GrantN/Y
    What is an aluminum can made of?AluminumY
    Who wrote ''Tom Sawyer''?Mark TwainY
    Who wrote ''The Catcher In The Rye''?DahlN
    Fill in the blank.. The ___ Stooges.ThreeY
    What is the square root of 81?FourN
    How many sides on a rectangle?FourY
    How many pints are in a quart?OneN
    How many inches are in a foot?SixteenN
    How many feet in a yard?TwelveN
    How many centimeters in a meter?No ideaN
    Canada is north or south of the US?NorthY
    How many states are in the US?Fifty twoN

  • Wack Pack Family Feud Replay From September 8, 2005. 07/02/07. 10:45am
    After the break Jason and Will introduced the next segment which was a game where they had Wendy the Retard's family vs. Daniel Carver's family in a game of Wack Pack Family Feud from September 8, 2005. Here's my write up from that day:

    Howard came back from break and played a Wendy the Retard song parody and a Daniel Carver song parody to get everyone in the mood for the Wack Pack Family Feud. Howard then started the game and said that there's actually a $10,000 prize for the winning family. Earlier he'd said it was only $5,000. He went on to introduce Wendy's mother Joyce and her sister Becca. Howard spent a few seconds speaking to each of the family members. Howard heard some noise coming from somewhere and found out it was actually Wendy's radio which she was using to record the show. Howard found out that Becca is 18 years old and works at McDonalds doing just about every job there. She said that she has dealt with some really rude customers and that tends to ruin her work day. Wendy likes that because she gets half off at the restaurant. Becca said that her sister gets to be kind of annoying sometimes.

    Howard moved on to Daniel Carver's family after that. He said hello to Daniel's wife Darlene who has been married to him for 37 years now. Howard then spoke to Daniel Carver Jr., Daniel's son. Daniel Jr. Has a son so there are three Daniels in the family. Gary asked Daniel if he has been dying his hair lately because it looked kind of dark. Daniel said that's not the case and he's not dying it. Gary also said that Daniel is very confident that they will win this game today since they are up against one retarded woman and her family. Daniel Jr. Has a lot of hate, just like his father. He called himself ''nig*** hater, agitator number 2'' just like his father is. Howard wondered if there were any years when Jr. rebelled against his father and actually liked black people. Daniel and Jr. Said that they both watch black comedians and make fun of them so they have watched ''The Jeffersons'' and shows like that over the years. Darlene said that they've raised their kids to stick with their own race and to never stray from that. Jr. Said that if they have a black mail delivery person, they have to stay at the end of the driveway and not come up to the house. Gary asked the family what they would do if their house caught fire and a black fireman showed up first. They all said that they'd rather let it burn. Howard asked the family what they think about the hurricane disaster. Daniel and his family seem to think that it was God cleaning up New Orleans. Jr. was even more hateful and said that if God liked the blacks down there, he would have gotten them their help sooner than 3 days after the disaster.

    Scott DePace called in and asked Daniel if he would save Robin if she was drowning. Daniel said he would save anything from drowning, a dog, Robin, whatever. Darlene said that she would let her drown but Jr. Said that he would drag her out and keep dragging her along the pavement for a little while. Howard said it was interesting that Daniel Sr. Seems to be more compassionate than the rest of his family. Darlene said that she's so hateful that she wouldn't even let Robin save her if she was on fire. The guys think that Daniel has a bit of a soft spot for Robin since he's gotten to know her over the years. Darlene said that he's just waiting for her to get old enough to die.

    Wendy told Howard that they have another hurricane in the Florida area this week and she's hoping that they don't have to cancel her Olympics this weekend. Howard cut her off and asked Darlene to rate the races for him since they do that with Daniel. She said that she finds the nig***s to be worse than the Jews but Daniel thinks that the Jew is the Devil so they're even lower than the nig***. Jr. was saying that he finds the darker the skin, the worse they are so the Jews rate lower on his list.

    Howard was going to move on to the game but Wendy wanted to get in a plug for someone she met on the street yesterday. Howard told her they were playing the game and he wasn't going there. He had Wendy and Daniel go up to the buzzers so they could get started. The first category was ''What's the worst thing to call a Jew?'' Daniel came in with the buzz first so he said ''Kike'' and got the number one answer. The Carvers decided to play. Darlene said ''Devil'' as the next name but it wasn't on the board. Daniel Jr. Said ''a Christ Killer'' but that wasn't on the board either. Daniel was up again and said ''Jew Boy'' which wasn't on the board so Wendy's family took over. Wendy blurted out ''Fag.'' The family came up with ''Jew Bastard'' but that wasn't on the board. The Carver family kept the points. Howard read the rest of the names on the list and they were ''Hebe,'' ''Dirty Jew'' and ''Cheap.''

    The second category was ''Name an occupation a retarded person can do.'' It was Joyce and Darlene up at the buzzer and Joyce came in with Grocery Bagger but Darlene said ''McDonalds'' and got ''fast food employee'' which was the number 1 answer. The Carvers took it and played for the win. Daniel Jr. was asked for another answer. He said it was tough to come up with something like that. He said ''Special Olympics.'' That wasn't on the board. Daniel Sr. was up next and said ''Door Greeter'' and got it. They went to Darlene again and she said ''Window washer'' but it wasn't on the board. Daniel Jr. Said ''Janitor'' and got another one right. Daniel Sr. was up and said ''Movie Star'' and got the third wrong answer so they threw it over to Wendy's family. Wendy said ''Bowl'' and her family couldn't come up with the correct answer so they lost the points again. It turned out ''Bus Boy'' was the final answer on the board.

    The third category was ''Name a black person that acts white.'' Becca and Daniel Jr. were up at the buzzer and Daniel came in with Jesse Jackson but didn't get it. Becca said ''Michael Jackson'' who also wasn't up there. Daniel said ''Bill Cosby'' and didn't get that either. Becca didn't have another answer so they had to go to another question. Howard said the names on the list were Bryant Gumble, Colin Powell, Denzel Washington, Oprah Winfrey, Al Roker and Wayne Brady.

    Howard moved on to another question which was ''What's the worst thing to call a black person?'' Daniel Jr. Said ''Nig***'' which was the number one answer. They took the category and decided to play. Dan Sr. Said ''Boy'' and got another one. Darlene said ''Black'' and missed one! Dan Jr. Said ''Coon'' and got another one right. Dan Sr. Said ''Porch Monkey'' and got another one right. Darlene went again and said ''Bubble Lip'' and missed another one. Junior said ''Jigaboo'' and missed another one. Wendy's family got the chance to take it but they don't have as much hate in them so they couldn't come up with anything other than ''Fag'' which came from Wendy. They gave an answer of ''Dog'' but that wasn't even close. The Carver family took it all. The answers they were looking for were ''Jungle Bunny'' and ''Eggplant.'' Howard was kind of sad because he was looking for Wendy's family to take home some money. The $10,000 prize was courtesy of the movie ''The Man'' and when Daniel Jr. Heard that, he thanked Samuel L. Jackson for the contribution to the Ku Klux Klan since Jackson is in the movie. Gary asked Daniel Jr. what he thinks about gay people. He said that it's the worst thing humans can do and he would prefer not to be in the same room with a gay person. They were asking about that because Mark Harris had come in and was pacing the halls just waiting to blast these people. Howard gave Wendy's family some prizes but nothing close to the ten grand they missed out on.

    The guys brought in Mark Harris who is a gay man himself. He came in and said some things about the family that could be a bit libelous. The Carvers said that being gay is illegal because sodomy is illegal. Junior was going off on Mark about being gay and said that he would open up a 55 gallon drum of whoop ass on any gay guy that came on to him. The Carvers and Mark went back and forth arguing about whether or not being gay was okay or not. Howard asked Daniel if he would take a kiss from Mark Harris if they promised to get rid of all of the people they hate after the kiss. Daniel's wife said she would kill her husband if he did something like that.

    Howard took a bunch of phone calls and one woman asked why they keep letting the Carver family win money on the show. Artie lost a football pool to Daniel and Daniel took home $25,000 thanks to that loss. Now he's taking home another ten thousand today. Howard was about to go to break but Wendy and her sister were giving shout outs to everyone they know and giving plugs for some guys they ran into on the street. After spending a few minutes doing that they wrapped up and went to commercial break.

  • Dixie Cupps Male Queen For A Day Replay From August 17, 2001. 07/02/07. 11:35am
    The next segment was a moment from when Artie was first on the show and they had a guest by the name of Dixie Cupps on the show for a Male Queen For a Day competition. Here's my write up from that day:

    Howard had 3 guys come in to play a game of Queen for a Day to win a trip to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch were prostitution is legal. The winner gets to have sex with a whore. One of the whores from the ranch came in to show the guys what they can win. Dixie Cupps was the whore who came in and Howard was very surprised at how hot looking she was. He was surprised that she was a whore. He spent quite a while interviewing her about how much money she can make at this Bunny Ranch place. He tried to find out how much it costs to do certain acts but she said it all depends on the guy and if she's attracted to him or not. She told Howard that she'd charge Artie Lange $300 to give him oral. She said in every sex act the guy has to wear a rubber. Dixie told Howard that she has a pretty normal life outside of the whore stuff. She has an 8 year old son, but no one wanted to hear that, and she owns her own 37 acre blueberry farm. Dixie went on to tell Howard about how she started out doing this stuff when she was 18 years old after going to a strip club to ask about getting implants. She also filled everyone in on the Moonlight Bunny Ranch and how they have 40 to 50 girls to choose from when you go there. Each one has a bedroom where they take their guys to bang. You can find out more about the ranch at

    Howard tried to get into the game but contestant number one, John the Stutterer, had a problem with this guy James who is a paraplegic. Apparently the two of them got into an altercation in the green room. John tried to explain what happened but he was stuttering up a storm so bad it took him 5 minutes to get the story out. He said that James had asked him if he wanted to have sex with him and then he defended Yucko the clown about being a child molester so John called him a ''fag'' and they got into an argument. Howard kept interrupting John so he kept stuttering more and more and kept starting his sentences over again and again. It was crazy.

    Howard said John the Stutterer's problem was obvious to everyone so he didn't need to explain much more about why he should win this game. The second contestant was this guy James who's in a wheelchair. He ended up telling Howard he'd forfeit the win to Yucko the Clown because he can't feel anything below his waist anyway. The only reason he was on the show was to find funding for a vehicle he could drive with his mouth like he does with his wheelchair.

    The third contestant was this 21 year old virgin Alex who is just over weight. He says he tries everything to lose weight and get chicks but he just can't do it. He even has some big man-boobs that look really odd because he doesn't have any chest hair. Everyone said he looks like a chick.

    After quickly going through each one of the contestants Howard made his decision and had everyone else convinced of the same conclusion. Alex is young and good looking enough to get a chick on his own if he just tries a little harder. James the paraplegic doesn't want the win so he's out too. Howard said that even though John the Stutterer has gotten laid once in his life, there's little chance of that happening again. So it was a unanimous vote for John the Stutterer to win the trip to the Moonlight Bunny Ranch bordello. John the Stutterer was stuttering and stammering up a storm like he's rarely done in past appearances. He seemed to be upset about the whole name calling thing with James which made his stutters longer and more intense than usual.

    Dixie Cupps ended up getting naked to show the losers what they lost out on. She had giant breasts and a tattoo of a banjo on her ass according to what everyone was saying. She said she's a country girl and that's why she got the banjo tattoo. John the Stutterer said that he's going to have sex with her if he can when he gets out to the Bunny Ranch.

  • Mr. Blackwell With Billy West Replay. 07/02/07. 12:00pm
    In the next segment we heard an old segment, pre-1996, when Mr. Blackwell was on the show to critique Howard's outfit. Billy West was doing many impressions during the segment and showing off his talents. Howard spent a few minutes with Mr. Blackwell before Billy came in and started doing his impressions. Billy was soaking in Mr. Blackwell so he could start doing his impression of him. Billy gave it a try after a short time and had that impression down pretty good. Howard went around the room and introduced each of the guys in the studio.

    Howard went over some of the details about Mr. Blackwell's book and talked about the stuff he's had to deal with in his life. They went on and on about Mr. Blackwell's book. Billy West started doing his Carey Grant impression after Blackwell brought up the name. He was goofing on him a little bit with that stuff.

  • Guy Who Had Sex With A Dolphin Replay From July 23, 1997. 07/02/07. 12:45pm
    The next segment was another old one from 1997 where a guy comes in and talks about having sex with a dolphin. Here's what I wrote that day:

    Howard recently mentioned that he read an article about a guy who slept with a dolphin. The guy came in to be interviewed this morning. He was disguised when he came in of course. The guy was a little bit strange to say the least. He explained how he ''made love'' to a dolphin in some shallow pool down in Key West Florida. He said that he had to ''bond'' with the dolphin before getting laid. Some woman called in during the interview and said that the guy was the publisher of the magazine that the article was written in and that he was just scamming Howard. The guy denied it though, so who knows. It was a very strange segment all together. If it was April 1st I'd say that it was a joke...

  • Guy Who Had Sex With A Dolphin Replay From July 23, 1997. 07/02/07. 12:45pm
    The next segment was another old one from 1997 where a guy comes in and talks about having sex with a dolphin. Here's what I wrote that day:

    Howard recently mentioned that he read an article about a guy who slept with a dolphin. The guy came in to be interviewed this morning. He was disguised when he came in of course. The guy was a little bit strange to say the least. He explained how he ''made love'' to a dolphin in some shallow pool down in Key West Florida. He said that he had to ''bond'' with the dolphin before getting laid. Some woman called in during the interview and said that the guy was the publisher of the magazine that the article was written in and that he was just scamming Howard. The guy denied it though, so who knows. It was a very strange segment all together. If it was April 1st I'd say that it was a joke...

    They ended the Mammary Lane show around 1:10pm.

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