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Howard started off the show asking Robin how her weekend was. She said it was fine, she's back to eating solid foods. She said that her first meal was vegetables that weren't pureed. She said she's lost 24 pounds on her diet so far. Artie said he went out and had a Wendy's triple over the weekend. Robin told him that he should go to the retreat that she went to over the weekend. There's not much up there, it's very modest but you're away from things. She said there were only four people there.
Robin said that she was in Dr. Roni's world this weekend and she actually left there crying because they were so good to her. She said that there was nothing missing from her house either.
Howard said he saw the movie ''1408'' too and that was pretty scary. He said that it was cool to see it but he could see why it didn't get that great of reviews.
Howard asked Artie what he did this weekend. Artie said he saw Dr. Keith Ablow on Friday. Howard cut him off and asked if he had gotten one of his special shaves because he looked so clean shaven. Artie said he did it himself. Howard also mentioned that one of the most popular shows on Howard TV right now is the one with Dr. Keith giving him and Beth their counseling.
Robin asked Artie how the Dr. Keith thing went. Artie said he was going to do it either in person or over the phone. Artie wanted to do it in person so he moved some stuff around and went to see Dr. Keith around 2 on Friday. He said that he had to move around some stuff with the new house he's buying. He met with a builder to ask him about the construction of his new house. Artie said that they tell him the place will be done by October 30th of this year. He said as long as it's done before next Memorial Day, he'll be fine with it. He's apparently in no rush.
The guys saw some pictures of the house under construction and Howard said it looks like it's going to be really nice. He said up on top there's an observatory. Robin said that part is going to be hot up there. Artie said he knows the air conditioning bill is going to be really high. Artie said that it was Doug Goodstein who took the pictures down there.
Howard asked Artie why he was posing next to his new house with a baseball bat. He said that Scott DePace showed up with his kid so he was going to teach him how to play baseball so that's why he had the glove. Howard asked about the water down there because it was all green. Artie said that's the Jersey Shore, it's always that color. Robin said it's never been blue down there, that's just what you get down there.
Howard didn't know that the house wasn't finished down there. Artie said that he told him that it was under construction. Howard liked that observatory thing so Artie said that he might put a pool table up there or something. He's not sure where he's going to put the media room in there yet.
Howard told Artie he might not want to be walking up the stairs to go in and play pool or something. Artie said that it's actually got an elevator in it. Howard said that's going to lead to Artie getting really lazy and turning into Jabba the Hutt or something.
Artie said that he's still thinking about where he's going to do certain things in the house. Howard told him he might want to make that observatory his office or something. Robin said he could make it his bedroom or something. Robin suggested he make it his bedroom. Howard said that would lead to people observing Artie while he's screwing broads.
Artie said he was hanging out there at the house and a bunch of hot chicks stopped there and docked on his pier. They told him that the guy that owns the property lets them dock there so he figured he's going to let them to do that too.
Artie said that he had dinner with Doug Goodstein, Scott DePace and their families. He said it was quite an experience. He said DePace's kids are at that age where they're all over the place. He said they couldn't even get into the restaurants they tried going to so they ended up at a Stewart's Root Beer place instead.
Artie got to his Dr. Ablow thing. He said that the guy is great and he ended up talking to him for about 2 hours and came close to crying. He said it actually got pretty heavy at points. He said the guy was very cool and made him feel very comfortable. Howard said he wished he had tape of that. He hopes that the guy taped him secretly.
Artie said that it's weird with guys like that because you tell a story about your father and he tells you what's wrong with it. He said he's supposed to see him again this Thursday so he's kind of in therapy with him. Artie said that Dr. Ablow told him that he was basically telling him that he had gone through hell in his life. Artie said that he felt good after that, it was like purging himself.
Artie said he's going to be talking to him before he flies out to do a gig on Thursday so that's a good thing. He's going to need it before that. He said Dr. Ablow gave him all of his phone numbers and told him to call him anytime he needs him. Howard said he doesn't even have that with his shrink. He said that he can call if he wants but he feels weird about that.
Howard said he went to a guy's house over the weekend and he had a bunch of hot chicks just laying around at his shore house. He said it's like they come with the house if you live near the water. He said his older daughter was staying with him and they decided to go to this party. There were about 300 people there so when he got there, he took one look, turned around and went home. He said he's not into that scene.
In the call we hear Doug Goodstein and Mike Gange on speaker with Andrea and she's telling them that her boyfriend just threw a bottle of lube at her. Doug came in and told Howard that Andrea couldn't stop talking about sex the whole time she was on the phone. Howard got back to the tape and Doug asks her to pretend she's having sex but then the guy starts banging her for real. Andrea yells out ''Owww!'' as the guy is plowing into her. Mike and Doug listen in as it's going on.
Howard said that Andrea was in the middle of a business meeting and this is what happens. She was moaning and making a lot of noise. Howard said he's never heard a woman complain that he's hurting them like Andrea was. He continued to play the tape where you can hear the two of them going at it with Andrea moaning. Howard said they actually cut the tape down a bit because it went on pretty long. He wondered where they live because it sounded like she was getting killed.
Andrea eventually finished up and got back on the line with Doug. Doug was joking around with her saying he thought she was lifting weights or something. He played more of the tape where Andrea was saying that her boyfriend leaves his penis inside of her for a minute because it hurts if he pulls it out. Mike asked her if the guy used a condom. Andrea said he didn't and she had gotten pregnant by him one other time. She said she's on birth control though. She had forgotten to take it the other day so Doug figured that it had screwed up her cycle. She said she just took her chances. He said that might be why she's had four abortions.
Doug said that Andrea's boyfriend is 18 and her sugar daddy is like 55. She's got guys all around her, her mother, a dog, her kid... all of that stuff going on. Artie said it sounds like she needs KC to manage all of that.
Doug said that they filmed Andrea doing her Guns and Girls shoot down in Florida and they caught her having sex in the room with the camera man. They were under the covers though. He said they'd have that tape shortly, it just got back from Florida.
Chris from Howard TV came in ad talked about what he saw going on there with Andrea. He said that he's basically filming sex now. He said that they went at it for about 30 minutes with two other guys in the room. Doug said that she's out of control. Chris said he's never seen people having sex in front of him so it was a little bit odd. Doug said that they're going to be doing the reality show with her very soon.
Doug said they'll see what the footage looks like and maybe put it in today's daily show. As they were talking about that the guys put the video on the monitors and showed Andrea and this 18 year old going at it. Howard said all he could see was Andrea's foot. Howard said that this is the kind of guy that Robin needs. They hadn't seen his face yet though.
Chris aid that Andrea and her boyfriend had sex within 10 minutes of them getting to her hotel room. He also said that they went at it about 10 times in two days too. Howard said that's because this guy is just 18. He said that she seems to be a nympho too because she was talking to Chris about banging him and also how she still wants KC. Doug said that she basically told them that the 18 year old isn't the only one she's sexually active with. The 18 year old apparently dropped out of college to be with her too. Howard said he had to go to break but spent some time talking about the lead singer from the Tokens who just passed away.
Howard said that Eric the Midget left a voice mail for him and he was cracking up in the middle of it so he didn't finish listening to it. Eric called and left a message where he demands 10 minutes of air time to explain things to the listeners. Eric said that he got a message that went way over the line. He said the guy wrote that he hopes that someone blows his brains out. Eric said that was way over the line and wondered if that person was a complete ''MR'' which no one could figure out.
Eric said that's the kind of shit that makes him regret ever being part of the show. Howard said that maybe he should get rid of his Myspace page instead. He gets that mail through his Myspace page. Howard said he doesn't need Eric clogging up his show with that stuff.
Howard said he's going to give Eric that 10 minutes he's demanding. He asked him what MR means. Eric said that it means Mental Retard and Howard was an example of one. Artie told him that he was an SH, which was Shit Head. Howard said he was a KOAM which was King of All Media. They had a few others like TF for Tiny Fuck which came from Artie. Eric was also throwing out a few more like FA for Fat Ass.
Howard told Eric that maybe he should get rid of his Myspace page. Eric said he's got 12,000 people on there and they're not all bad. He said he had a few other things he wanted to talk about as well. Howard said he didn't think he could take it. Eric said that he thinks that Howard has listeners who are sane and some who are insane. Howard said that he knows a guy who watches American Idol like he's insane. That guy also humps his bed.
Howard told Eric it might be funny to hear him ramble for 10 minutes but he wasn't sure he could take it. He said that he was going to let him go without interrupting him though so he told him to go ahead. That led to Eric getting his 10 minutes but Howard muted his voice so Eric couldn't hear them and talked over him. Howard said they'd just let him go. Eric was talking about what he wanted to talk about while Howard and the guys were talking over him.
Howard said he had some tape of Andrea shooting guns down in Florida over the weekend. Howard had Lisa G come in to do her Howard 100 News preview. He got back to Eric and told him to keep going. He had only gone 2 minutes so far. Eric said that he was done though so he didn't need the full 10 minutes. Artie told him he'd like to hear more about this stuff.
Howard let Eric go since he was done. Artie told him to make sure he listens to it on the replay. Artie said that he was a dumb fuck. Howard said he keeps telling Eric that he's going to get Wackos to deal with if he keeps doing the Myspace thing.
Howard took a call from John Boy who said he wanted to clear some stuff up himself and said some stuff that didn't make any sense so Howard hung up on him. Howard played the Darth Nihilus interview that he fell in love with last week. He also played the Gamorrean Guard interview clip that Gary Garver had gotten. That led to him playing a new prank call that Sal and Richard made to a guy who was selling video games. They called up as the Gamorrean Guard and as Darth Nihilus trying to get some information out of the guy but he couldn't understand a word they were saying because they were covering up their mouths to muffle them.
Howard played a bunch of new Darth Nihilus song parodies that Dan the Song Parody Man had put together. He threw those clips into a bunch of songs. Richard came in and said that the fans have been sending in the songs as well so he played a couple of those.
Lisa G got back to her Howard 100 News preview and said that they have a story about Scott Ferrall getting a good write up in the news. She wrapped up after that so Howard moved on to take some phone calls.
Howard said they had some video of Andrea shooting some stuff from the Howard TV guys. He had them play some of that as they watched and listened in. They showed the shot where she spun around and almost shot everyone.
Howard took a call from Wheels who said that the Eric call was the best. He wondered how long it was going to take before Eric called back and says he's never going to come on the show again. Howard said it shouldn't be too long.
Wheels also brought up the Miserable Men show and said that it was great last night. Artie said he was on for about a half hour on that show and tested out his new ISDN line from his apartment. He said it was a lot of fun doing that show.
Howard took a call from Daniel from The Bleeding Deacons who said that they filmed a new video for their latest song about Sal's marriage. The song is called ''143.'' Howard played the song and said that Sal hates it. Howard wanted to know who the emotional friend is in the video. Daniel said that it turns out to be Richard. He said that they found a Christine look-alike for the video.
Howard said that Gary finally got his revenge on Sal by writing and singing his own song parody about Sal. He played the song which was just a short one where he sings about Sal's marriage problems. Sal came in and said that he saw the Bleeding Deacons video and it's actually very good, he can't say anything bad about it. Sal went on to talk about how he went out to dinner with his wife over the weekend and had a good time. He said that he was trying to feed her a lot of alcohol so maybe he could get some action but that didn't work out. Howard figured that Sal was going to revert back to his old self soon.
Sal said he didn't want to go into specifics about his sex life but he said that things are getting better in the bedroom. He said that they actually did it during the week one time. Howard said that he was doing his work and getting his reward now. Sal talked about the stuff that he's had to do around the house now that he's agreed to help out. He cleaned out the fish tank after she asked him to do that. He just said ''okay'' as soon as she asked.
Howard told Sal he's glad that things are working out for him. He let him go but Daniel asked him how long he was sending stuff into the show before they hired him. Sal said it was 10 years. Daniel was wondering when he was going to become Sal's co-worker. He also got in a plug for their web site BleedingDeacons.com since they have that video available there.
Howard let Daniel go and took another call. The woman on the phone asked Howard to get Artie on the scale this morning. Artie said that he can't because it's too depressing and it'll ruin the rest of his day. Howard said that he could call Dr. Ablow after it if he needs to. The woman on the phone begged him to get on the scale but Artie wasn't going to do it. They said that maybe they could put a scale under his chair over there where he sits.
Artie said that he's turning 40 this year, in October, and that's getting to him as well. He said he feels 70. Howard said he thinks that Artie looks thinner and maybe he's only 280 pounds. Gary wondered what he'd think if he was 310. Artie said he'd probably kill himself. Artie refused to get on the scale and said that there's nothing they can say to get him on there.
Artie said he has to go to a wake today so he has to go home and get his fat guy suit. He was wearing sweat pants this morning. That led to the guys talking about the great food they have at wakes. Howard said that he was looking forward to the weigh in this morning. He said that Artie had promised to do that last week but they can't force him to get on the scale. Howard had to go to break a short time later. He mentioned that Darrell Hammond was going to be stopping by later on. He said he hates asking the guy to do his impressions but he does them so good that he wants to hear them. He went to commercial after that.
Gary came in and said that they got that guy together with someone he played with and he didn't remember him. It wasn't just the months of the year thing. Howard played another clip where they talked about how some other football players were in an Alzheimer's care facility. They brought the two guys into a room together to see if they remembered working together. They didn't. Howard said he hopes that he forgets who Fred is in 10 years. He made up the conversation that might happen between them.
Howard got back to the tape from 60 Minutes that he had been playing. They showed what a mess these guys become after getting their heads smashed in so much. They talk about how the families are wondering if the constant bashing of the heads is what caused their memory loss. In the clip they talk about one of the guys who always asks about his car getting fixed and keeps asking even after they tell him the car is fine. She was sitting in front of the guy while talking about it and the guy didn't remember.
Howard said that he bets that guy can still spell better than Bob Levy. Howard wished that he had taped that phone call. Artie said that he and Bob had a nice conversation and things are all good between them again. He said that Bob is going to do the gig with him in Pittsburgh and the one in Detroit.
Howard said he heard something about Jackie over the weekend. Gary knew what the story was and told Howard that there was this guy who took some pictures for Jackie and Jackie paid the guy in Jokeland mugs and other junk like that.
Howard said he saw some story about how there was some film out there of Hitler just hanging out with his buddies. The film had been kept in an attic until it was recently uncovered and sent to the Holocaust museum. They thought it was a pretty big deal. Howard read the article and said that he'd like to see it himself. He said that the film had never been viewed all these years. They found the film and had it checked out to make sure it was the real thing.
Howard said that the new Bruce Almighty movie flopped over the weekend. Artie said that someone is out a lot of money. It was one of the most expensive comedies ever made. He said that Steve Carrell is funny but he's no Jim Carrey. The movie made some money but it cost $175 million to make it. Howard said he'd kind of glad that this Angelina Jolie movie was a bit of a bomb too.
Sour said that he's working with his father trying to fix the porch there. He said he does some babysitting during the rest of the day. He keeps an eye on the neighbor's kids. Howard said he'd be afraid to hire someone like him. He asked him to get back into his Paul McCartney thing. Sour Shoes broke right into that stuff and Howard mentioned their giving him another special of his own on July 9th.
Howard hung up on Sour Shoes but Artie had just mentioned another Beatles song that he wanted to hear. They goofed on him a little bit and Fred did his impression of him introducing a song as he was playing the Beatles song that Artie had asked to hear. Howard said that this particular song, ''Norwegian Wood'' was the first one he ever slow danced to. He talked about how he was known as Shades of Blue back then because of the sunglasses he wore.
Artie talked about this guy he knew who had a nickname of Icky Sticky Apple Pie Ralph On Two which was quite a name. They usually just called him Icky. There was another friend of his who was known as Rube but that eventually became Tuesday. That went from Rube to Ruby Tuesday to just Tuesday. Artie said he had another one who was just known as Goof too.
Howard read a story about how some of the old stations he was on have gone from Free FM to music formats recently. He said that he wondered why K-Rock didn't just switch to oldies because they could make a killing if they did that.
Howard said that they have another person who thinks that she knows the secret password that Artie and his father had. He said the woman, who claims to be a witch, didn't want him to announce it on the air but he was going to do it. She said she got the words Rumplestilsken and or Oyster. Artie said no to both of them but also said that his mother and uncle guessed the word over the weekend. He said it may not be that well thought out.
Howard read through a list of the most popular shows on Howard TV and talked about that for a short time. Howard said he had Bobo on the line wanting to talk about David Lee Roth banging a lot of chicks. He picked up the phone anyway and let Bobo go on and on about this David Lee Roth thing. He said that DLR should have talked about the girls he banged when he was doing his radio show. Howard said that he's kind of right because he should have come clean with all of that kind of stuff on his show and maybe he would have gotten some ratings. The guys spent a couple of minutes talking about Roth and how he failed miserably when he replaced Howard at K-Rock.
Artie said that everyone thinks that Howard would be easy to replace because they even asked him to do a show. He turned that down and thought it was funny that they thought that he could replace Howard Stern. Howard said that was kind of insulting.
Howard and the guys talked about tall of the stuff they did for Roth over there when he was starting out. He hadn't even proven himself yet and they were giving him all kinds of stuff for the studio. They really just panicked over there. Howard said that Opie and Anthony have less ratings than David Lee Roth did and he wonders how they're still on the air. Artie and Fred said they must be able to sell advertising over there somehow. Howard said it's strange but he feels pretty good about the state of regular radio at this point. Fred said that it's back to where it was before Howard was involved.
Howard said that K-Rock is back to being that dinosaur that it used to be and they could really make a big change if they brought the oldies back to New York. He said they could hire Cousin Brucie back and do that whole thing. Artie said that if those people listened to the oldies station on SIRIUS though, they'd buy that instead because there are no commercials.
Howard said he's been listening to Coffee House on SIRIUS lately. He said he leaves it on the whole weekend. He also said that he had a friend staying with him over the weekend and she listens to Elvis 24 hours a day on SIRIUS. Howard said that she's a hard core fan and even went to see an Elvis impersonator and ended up on stage swooning over the impersonator.
Gary said that he listens to a lot of stations there on SIRIUS and the stuff they're playing on K-Rock is the same stuff they play on Lithium there at SIRIUS. He said that it's the same thing and they don't have any commercials there at SIRIUS. That led to Howard talking about the oldies thing again and ended up doing his impression of Cousin Brucie. Gary said that Brucie apparently has his studio window full of pictures of him with just about every celebrity he's ever met. Howard said they should tell him that's now allowed and make him take them all down.
Howard goofed on Brucie for a few minutes doing his impression of him. Then they got back to David Lee Roth and talked about all of the weird stuff that was going on with him at K-Rock when he started out there. Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and told some stories about all of the stuff they had to buy for Roth when he started up there. They had to buy plants for the halls and stuff like that. Then they fired him and just threw all of that shit out.
Howard said that Roth made a good deal there and might still be getting paid even though he's not working there. Howard said that a bunch of jocks from terrestrial radio have contacted them there. He said that they just had a couple of guys from Free FM up there the other day and they were talking about how great it would be to work there. Howard said that this whole satellite thing really seems like the future but he's not sure how it's all going to play out.
Howard said he was thinking about this merger thing and all of these things are competing against each other so he thinks that the satellite companies should be able to merge. He said that it's ridiculous that they want to make the two companies stay separate. He said if they don't merge, he's afraid that one of them is going to go bankrupt. He said that he has the feeling that it will be XM that fails if either of them do. He said it's just sad. He said they'll see what happens, maybe it will, maybe it won't.
Bobo wished Howard and the guys to have a good vacation and got off the line. Howard thanked him for calling in with the David Lee Roth banging a lot of chicks thing. He had to go to break but ended up talking about what he was going to do with Darrell Hammond when he came in. He went to break a short time later.
Gary said that she was a cut chick and she might be worth seeing naked. She's just a hot regular girl though. She's not fat or anything either. Howard put her on hold and said that Gary would set that up.
Howard asked Darrell what's going on with his love life. Darrell said that he wanted to answer that as a politician so he went into this long explanation that didn't say anything about it. Howard asked Darrell about what's going on with Saturday Night Live. He said that they go through talks every summer and he figures that will be starting up soon. He said that they haven't even really started talking yet. Howard told him that he's in the driver's seat because not everyone has a list of impersonations like Darrell does.
Howard ran down a few of the impressions he does and asked Darrell what new impressions he's working on. He said he does an Imus impression and did a little bit of that for him. Howard thought it was pretty good but he was speaking too clearly and needed to muffle it a bit. Artie talked about doing impressions for MAD TV and how he had to study tapes of the people he was doing the whole week.
Howard asked Darrell how he does his thing. He said he has to learn the impressions before he does them, he can't just do them. He did a little bit of his Pee Wee Herman impression and said that there are a lot of people he can't do because they're just not his thing. Howard said that when he does his Jesse Jackson impression is great because the way he does it is very funny.
Artie tried doing a little bit of his Jesse Jackson but he can only do about a sentence before he loses it. That led into Darrell doing his Jackson impression and made Artie crack up a bit. Artie said that might be his favorite impression ever. Hammond could do that all day according to Howard so that's why he's so good.
Howard said that Darrell doesn't do a bush impression and that's a hard one to do. Darrell said they have a guy over at SNL that does a good Bush.
Darrell told Howard about the many times he's broken his nose doing stupid things. He once had it broken by a baseball and then another time he fell when he was drunk and broke it on a door knob. Another time he fell down the stairs on his face. He was drunk those two times.
Howard read that Darrell apparently wears black all the time to memorialize his friend that died in 1991. Darrell wouldn't get into too many details about the whole thing but did say that this friend had killed himself. Howard said that everything is sad in his life. Howard told him that he should never get married again, he's been married to the same person a couple of times and that's just not good. He asked him how he made that move. Darrell said he's not sure how it happened.
Howard asked Darrell to do some of his impressions. Darrell did a bunch of them quickly. He did impressions like... Pee Wee Herman, Popeye, Porky Pig, Barney Fife and then kind of trailed off on the Barney. Howard asked him to do a few more seconds of that so Darrell did a little more of that. He had Howard rolling when he did it. He told him that he should have had Barney eating out Aunt Bee or something. He did his Aunt Bee impression for him and then Darrell remembered that Howard does a Lou Ferrigno impression so Howard went into that for a short time.
Howard brought up the SNL thing and asked him about what kind of money he'd be making. Artie said he thinks that Darrell could be making like $20,000 per episode or something like that. Howard asked him how many episodes they do every year. He said that they do 20 per year and it was an interesting question to ask. He asked Darrell if it's close to what Artie had estimated. Darrell wasn't talking about that stuff though.
Darrell did a little bit of his Ted Koppel impression and Artie was saying that he could probably make a ton of money doing corporate gigs. He could also make money doing voice overs but Darrell said that he never gets offers to do stuff like that.
Howard gave Darrell a plug for this play he's doing and Robin said that she knew of the play but didn't know that Darrell was in it. Howard said that he'd go see it and asked if he does any impressions in it. Darrell laughed and said he doesn't. He said he's playing the part of a whacked out principal in the play. The play is called ''The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee'' and Robin said she's heard it's really good.
Howard asked Darrell when he'll know when he's returning to SNL. Darrell said he doesn't know and didn't know a lot of answers to Howard's questions. Howard took some phone calls and let some fans talk to Darrell. One guy told him what a big fan he is. He also asked if he's got anything against MAD TV. That led to Artie saying that he's still getting checks from that show. He said they're only like $80 but they're still paying him.
Howard took a call from a guy who was doing a Bill Cosby impression. The guy wasn't all that great so Howard let him know that. The guy also did a bad Tom Brokaw so Howard hung up on him. Mark from Jersey City asked Darrell what his worst experience was with a guest. Darrell said that he had people like Paris Hilton looking at him as if it was painful for her to do so. He said he's not happy about her going to jail or anything but she did look at him like she had no idea who he was.
One caller asked Darrell to do his Clinton impression. He went into that for a few seconds but didn't do much material. Another caller said that the present cast of SNL seems to have a problem with the cue card reading these days. He said that the characters look in the opposite direction than they're supposed to be looking in. Darrell said he'd watch some tapes and get back to him.
Another caller told Howard that Darrell does a great Jay Leno. Hammond went right into that and Howard seemed to like that one. Howard went on to tell Darrell about why he dislikes Jay Leno because Darrell didn't seem to know why. Howard has a problem with the way Leno hired Stuttering John away from the show without telling him. He told Darrell all of the details about the conversation he had with Jay and how odd the guy really seems to be. Darrell said that he doesn't seem that bad to him.
Howard asked Darrell to respond to him saying that he's a robot. Darrell wouldn't answer, he was getting all confused and shit. That led to Howard playing some of the remixed clips from Jay's audio book where Richard makes him say things he never actually said. Darrell seemed to be impressed by the technology there. Howard asked him to do his Jay voice impersonating those clips but Darrell refused.
Howard asked Darrell to tell his worst Leno story. Darrell said he doesn't have one, he just does the Tonight Show and has a good time and gets treated very well. Howard told him to never do an audio book or they'll cut them up and make clips like those.
Howard gave Darrell some plugs for that play he's doing, and for some comedy gigs he's doing. Howard told Darrell that they have some Ed McMahon clips just like the Leno clips. He played some of those for him as well. He wrapped up and went to break after that.
Howard said that he just heard from Jay and Jay isn't going to let Darrell on his show anymore. He said he was just joking about that of course. He finished up his live commercial after that.
Howard said that he goes out to these movie premieres and those type of shows ask him to record those dopey lines for things like Father's day specials and things like that. He doesn't like saying that stuff so he'll refuse to do it. Then the camera guy will start laughing because he's telling the show to drop dead. He said he things they're crazy asking for nonsense like that.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Robin called Darrell ''Darren'' when he was leaving. Robin said she realized that. She didn't think he heard it though. Howard said he wants Darrell to change his name to Darren so she doesn't have to be embarrassed by that.
Another caller said that Darrell seemed to be miserable and he might want to get someone to put him on suicide watch. Artie said that this guy didn't see Darrell's face and he didn't look upset.
Howard said that this dude with the wife who wanted to get topless was out there waiting to come in. They brought the woman in a short time later. He said she was really cute. He talked to the woman, Nicole, for a few seconds and also talked to the husband. He asked her to take her top off a few seconds alter. She did it and it didn't seem to be a big deal to her. She said there wasn't much there to show. She said they're only an A-cup.
Howard said that she's really hot and wondered if it turned on the husband at all. He said he's seen them before. He said it did kind of turn him on that they were seeing them too. Artie said that they didn't seem to be all that excited to be in the studio. Nicole said that they're very nervous.
Nicole said that they were there bright and early this morning and actually saw Robin get out of her car. She said they wanted to say something to her but the driver went with her. Gary asked her if she would get completely naked. She refused to do that though.
Howard talked to Nicole and her husband and asked what else they were willing to do. Howard asked if they wanted to let the guys feel her up. She wasn't up for that. Howard told her that he'd give her $500 if she let Artie squeeze her ass. She said okay to that but Howard told her she has to be in her thong. She said that she'd do it and pulled down her pants to her ankles. Artie went over to her and Howard said that they had the $500 courtesy of the Man Groomer.
Howard told Nicole to feel free to act out if she had any sexual feelings for Artie. Artie gave her a hug and squeezed her ass. He told her that it was a nice ass as he was doing it. She said it was kind of weird to have it done. She said it had been a long time since another man did that to her. Howard thought he had seen a boner in Artie's pants. Artie said her ass smelled great too, she had some perfume or something on there. She said it was actually lotion, Euphoria Blossom by Calvin Klein, to be exact.
Howard wrapped up with Nicole and her husband. He told her that she had just been with a man who has been on Rescue Me and some other shows like MAD TV. He let them go a short time later. Artie said that it was great to be the single guy in the studio because he can do stuff like that.
Howard got back to the tape and played the interview he had. They talked about how Farah was asking a couple of Tabloids to drop some stories about her and threatened to sue over what they were saying about her. The guys were wondering if anal sex can be caused by anal sex. Gary read that it does increase the risk. Benjy said that a site he was reading said that people under 30 who have anal are at risk of getting the cancer. Howard thought he was wrong but Artie went over and read what he had on his screen and confirmed that's what it said.
Howard played the clip where they claim that Farah is a big fan of Howard's show and also of Judith Regan's show on SIRIUS.
Artie mentioned that he saw Pat O'Brien there at SIRIUS the other day. He said he thinks that Pat is a fan because he's met him before and he knew his name then. That led to Howard playing the Pat O'Brien voice mail clip. Artie said that's all he could think about when he met the guy.
Howard had Steve Langford come in with his Howard 100 News preview. He said that they have an interview with the guy Howard saved from jumping off a bridge 13 years ago. Emilio Bonilla is doing well and still loves the show according to Steve. Steve also mentioned that they have a story about High Pitch Mike and how he's still not using his big screen TV. Steve said he showed up at his apartment asking to see the TV being unopened but he refused to show it.
Gary said that Mike gave him a tape where the two of them were going back and forth about seeing the TV. Mike was telling Steve that he didn't want to let Steve into his apartment. Mike came in and told Howard that he's planning to move soon and he doesn't want the TV to get messed up. He said that he's kept it in the box because of that. He said he doesn't want Steve in his apartment because he's creepy. Howard told Mike he's creepy too though.
Mike said that Steve said something him to him in Spanish that means he wants to put his tongue in his ass or something. Steve said that Mike taught him that line. Mike said something else pisses him off about Steve. He said he went to NYU and worked his ass off there. He said that Steve questions him about that. Steve said that's his job, he questions everything. Howard said that Steve has been investigating the news team ever since American Idol came to an end.
Mike said that he doesn't want Steve coming to his apartment but Steve said he thinks that he's got something to hide. He's just doing his job. Mike had brought in some audio of Steve talking to Michael Moore about his Canadian citizenship but Steve didn't think that was much of a story.
Mike said that he's got a roommate that has a 6 year old kid and he didn't want Steve to be around that kid. He said that they can send up the Howard TV guys to the apartment but not Steve. Steve asked him what he's hiding up there. Mike said he just doesn't want Steve up there.
Howard said he could listen to Mike's voice all day long. He asked him if he could make it deeper. Mike tried it but it wasn't much lower. Steve and Mike went back and forth wit the whole thing but they weren't getting anywhere. Steve said that maybe they could send Lisa G up to his apartment instead. Mike said he didn't care so they set that up.
Mike was digging himself a hole when he started talking about how Lisa G had called him a Jew when she talked to him about the TV. He said that's coming from her and she's the Jewiest person in the news room. He said that she's very cheap and takes off every Jewish Holiday and then said that he thinks that if he has to work on a Jewish holiday, she should to. Howard heard that Mike went to Disney World all by himself for a week. Mike said he did do that and there were even special lines for the single people down there. Artie was laughing his ass off every time he said something about that trip.
Artie asked Mike how old he was. Mike said he was 29 and Artie laughed again. He said that he's 29 and he has a happening job but he goes to Disney World. Robin said that there are other people who you'd want arrested for going to Disney alone. Howard said that it must scare the crap out of kids when they see Mike sitting there on a ride.
Howard heard that Mike went to a Madonna concert alone too. That made Artie laugh his ass off even more. Ralph had called in as well so he was laughing along with him. Mike said that he's not Mr. Popularity so he has to go alone to stuff like that. He said he has friends but he didn't have anyone to go to Florida with. Artie said that no one in that studio is ''Mr. Popularity'' but they don't go to stuff like that alone. He asked Mike if he sang ''Starlight Starbright'' or ''Who's That Girl'' at the concert. He could barely get out the line because he was laughing so hard.
Gary asked Mike if he cried during the episode of ''Run's House'' when Run lost his baby. Mike said he didn't cry, but it was very sentimental. Gary said everyone was telling him that he had cried. Ralph said that he likes that Steve is turning on all of his people. Mike was still saying that he didn't want Steve in his apartment because he thought he was too creepy.
Howard heard that Mike is throwing himself a karaoke birthday party. Mike said he loves how people throw this stuff around. He said he thought it would be a fun thing to get everyone together to party like that. Howard wondered if Mike would hang out with JD and maybe take him to Disney. JD came in and said that he likes working with Mike but he wouldn't go to Disney with him. That led to Howard saying that he wants to have a contest where they take these two and put them in a bar to see who can pick up a girl first. JD said that he doesn't want anything to do with that.
Howard said that his money would be on Mike if they did that contest. He did an impression of Mike and talked about what he might do to pick up a chick. He also said he'd like to get the Oceans 13 script and have the two of them buddy up for a remake of the movie. They could get that Darth Nihilus character make an appearance too. Howard realized that he had to get going so he asked himself what he was doing with this stuff.
Mike talked a little bit more about the trip to Disney. Howard was also talking to Mike about his sex life and found out he's only been with two girls. He had been wondering if he or JD had more chicks. JD has had a couple himself. Howard asked Mike if he would do a porno chick. Mike said that he would if she was tested. Ralph told him he can't be that picky. Mike said that he loves watching Artie laugh now because he knows when he goes home, it's nothing but sadness. Artie said that he makes him feel better about his own life.
The guys asked Mike about this 6 year old kid that lives at his apartment on the weekends. Mike said that the parents are divorced and the father lives with him and gets custody on the weekends. He said that the guy is his friend and he's the godfather of the child. That got Artie going too. He started doing his Godfather impressions and goofed on Mike for a few minutes. He was doing the scenes in his high pitch voice as if he were Mike the Godfather. He had Howard and Robin cracking up doing that.
Howard asked Mike if it was true that it was also gay week down at Disney when he was down there. Mike said that the dates of his trip... Artie was laughing so hard he couldn't finish. He could barely get his jokes out when he was trying to goof on Mike. Howard asked Mike what happened there. Mike said that his trip only overlapped the gay day by one day. He didn't plan to be there for the gay thing. Artie was still laughing his ass off at all of that.
Howard told Mike he admires him for being able to go out and go to a park like that all by himself. Mike was trying to goof on Artie asking him when he's going to get a chick but Artie was still laughing his ass off. A few seconds later Gary came in with a script from one of the Oceans movies so JD and Mike could reenact that. JD and Mike did their thing but JD said a line that was supposed to be ''pure ego'' but it came out like ''Prairie Goat'' so Howard and Robin got a laugh out of that.
Howard wrapped up with everyone a short time later. He asked Steve if he was done. Steve got in a plug for Chuck Zito's show that airs tonight at 7pm on Howard 101 and then Jon Hein came in with his show preview. Jon mentioned that they'll talk about Darrell Hammond's visit to the show. They'll also talk about Nicole taking her top off to get into the studio for a tour. They'll also talk about all of the stuff that just went on with Mike and Steve.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he almost passed out laughing at that segment of the show. Howard took another call from a guy who said they have to keep Mike out of the studio because he was laughing so hard. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard started off the show talking about how he was listening to a new phony phone call that Richard made. They must be so desperate for calls that they ignore that he uses the word ''cunt'' during the call. Howard played the call and you hear Richard asking some legal questions to the host of this call in show. He tells the guy that he's tried to get his landlord to come over and help but the water is scalding hot and burned his cunt. They keep him on and ask him more questions about the scalding hot water. They take the call seriously for a couple of minutes but eventually hang up. Sal then calls in with a question about his air conditioning being too cold and eventually brings up how he was jerking off and it looked like a Slurpee when it came out. The guys thought that was the first phony phone call they had gotten in a while, not realizing the cunt call was one as well.
Howard said that a lot of homeless people hang out at those places and he can see why they'd be worried. Artie asked the guy what he does when he's there and what was in the story that would lead to her doing that. He said that there were two connections in the story that made her think that it was something about himself. He said that the woman gets killed in the story and she had short black hair like the girl at the coffee shop. The guy says that he told the cops that it was just a story.
Howard told him that maybe this is a good sign and it's time to get out of Starbucks. Artie said he saw a guy on line at a Starbucks and the guy was carrying a dog with a bag of shit that the dog had taken. He said the dog was slobbering and the guy was all sweaty from jogging so it was gross.
The caller, Derek, told Howard that he should read his stuff. Howard said he doesn't read though so he wasn't interested. When the guy said that ''Mystery Men'' was the greatest movie of all time, Howard told him he should stop writing. Artie said that he just got a check for $2,400 from that movie so he loves it for that.
Another caller asked Howard what he would do if Beth slept with another man while out on a photo shoot. He said he'd break up with her. The caller also asked if he would hire Imus there at his channel if he came to him asking for a job. Howard said he doesn't see that Imus ever generated any audience so he doesn't see it happening. He said he might have him in to goof on him or something for an hour or so though.
The caller asked if Howard would ask Artie to seek treatment if he ever started doing shows with Jackie. Artie said he actually talked to Jackie about doing that one day. it was Jackie who brought it up. That led to Howard saying that he's not sure that it would be a good idea to do something like that. Artie said they were just talking about doing maybe one night together.
The caller said that he's the guy that saw Artie at Starbucks recently. That led to Howard talking about how he admires Artie for going out to do that himself because he knows of people who work there who send out for their Starbucks drinks.
The caller told Howard that he had a story about his cousin Jack Adler and started to go into it. Howard didn't get why he was going into the story though. He cut him off and said he didn't want to embarrass anyone. The guy kept talking though so Howard had to hang up on him.
Artie told a story about going to a Starbucks that he usually doesn't go to this morning and that's where he met that caller.
Artie said that movie is one of those things that he asked Bob not to do but he went ahead and did it. Howard explained what was going on in this scene. He said that a woman goes up to Bob and tells him how great he is and that leads to Bob telling a story of his life and that's where the porn stories come in. They flash back to a porno dude playing Bob in the flashbacks. He said the guy looks like he's older than Bob though.
Howard played a clip from the movie where Bob is talking to this fan who came up to him telling him how great he was. Bob makes some jokes that the guys were goofing on. They even have a reference to his Blue Cheese bit in the movie. Artie said he knows he's going to get into trouble with Bob by talking about this but Leno and Letterman are never going to have porno guys on their shows. He knows Bob wants to do those type of shows but he's not going to get on doing stuff like that.
Howard said that in this next scene they have ''young Bob'' banging Savanna. He played a second of that and then Artie said that he might as well be banging her because he's heard that Bob has a big cock. Howard played another clip where a Dice Clay-like character is stealing some of Bob's material. The scene sounded kind of confusing so Artie asked what was going on there. Howard said he didn't see that particular scene. He didn't get that far into it when he was watching.
Howard talked about how he heard that Bob got a blow job from savanna and he just can't imagine her doing that with her techniques that he's seen in her movies. Artie said he thinks he had a chance with her one night but he was with Dana at the time and didn't want to screw that up. Howard said it's a good thing he didn't screw things up by doing that with Savanna.
Howard had a clip from the AVN awards where Savanna wins an award and goes up to give her acceptance speech. She breaks down crying over it. She thanks her family, the people who supported her, and then starts breaking down crying.
Howard said that Beth was trying to watch a show that an old friend of hers was in. She didn't end up liking it though so he was kind of glad about that. Artie said he made the mistake of putting Dana in ''Beer League'' because it makes it tough to watch. Howard told him to just cut her out. He also dedicated his DVD ''It's the Whiskey Talkin'' to her. Howard said he did some embarrassing stuff with Dana, even toward the end of his relationship. He had her up on stage at Carnegie Hall and had the audience singing Happy Birthday to her.
Howard took a call from John Boy who said he was watching Beth on Casino Cinema and got hard so he changed the channel in respect to Howard. Then he saw Angie Everhart on another show and ended up beating off to her. He also said that Andrea Miss Howard Stern's call where she's having sex was really hot too. Howard said that was pretty hot and he never really looks at her sexually but he did yesterday.
Howard asked if he should replay that Miss Howard Stern clip. John Boy said he wanted to finish himself off so he wanted to hear it. Howard hung up on him saying that he didn't want him to finish off. He took another call from a guy who said he liked that clip too. Howard ended up replaying it. In the clip we hear Andrea and her boyfriend having sex over the phone as Doug Goodstein and Mike Gange listen in. Howard let the clip play through until Andrea and her boyfriend were done. She was screaming in pain because the guy is so big.
Howard said he liked the clip where Andrea talks about not using birth control. He played the audio of her talking about how her boyfriend can't pull out right away because it hurts too much. She then reveals that he didn't use a condom and she forgot to take one of her birth control pills recently. Artie thought that conversation was creepy. Howard said that they've decided that a reality TV show with her would be really good.
Howard asked The Sim some questions and found out that he's a Jew. He thought he was part Chinese but that wasn't right. He asked him about how he looks and if chicks are attracted to him. He said he does alright. Robin still didn't want to go out with him. Howard told her that he's got a good personality though. She didn't like that he had a daughter either. She said that was a deal breaker.
Howard asked The Sim if he could live in the house with Dr. Roni. Sim said that would be tough. That led to Howard inviting the guy down to the studio to introduce him to Robin. They found out that The Sim had lost some weight over the past couple of years. He used to weigh about 225 at 5'10'' tall and now he's down to about 165 and he works out.
Howard wondered why Robin wasn't going to go out with this guy. She just wasn't interested. Howard told him to just come down there tomorrow and they'll let Robin check him out. He said if there's romance in the air they'll see what happens, if not, they'll just let him go. Howard put him on hold so they could set him up for tomorrow. Artie figured he had to be bullshitting about the amount of money he makes or the size of his penis. He claimed to be raking in six figures and having a big penis.
Howard said that he knows that Robin might not be attracted to this guy but there is a chance. He said that he'd probably move right into that beach house of hers. He said he can see him floating around in the pool with the hair falling out of his head. He said he's already got that nickname thing going like Mr. X did. Howard said they're working on getting a picture of him but Howard said they might not want to do that. He said they should just have him in.
Robin liked it but Artie said he's never really been a big fan of theirs. He said he did buy ''Slippery When Wet'' though. Howard said that John did a country song with LeAnn Rimes and he was kind of turned on by her. He said that LeAnn performs with John and they were looking at each other like they had fucked. He said he knows that John loves his wife but it sure looked like something had happened.
Howard played the clip of LeAnn performing with John after talking about it. He told the guys that it really did look like something was going on there. He said that if he was Dorothea (John's wife) he'd be filing for divorce. He had to go to break after that.
Howard said they have Bernard Cummings playing ''Those Teeth'' in the group now. He said you hear Jackie laughing through the whole song so he must have heard some of his lines. He played some of the song and said you can hear the whole song during the special. He said that they also have Enrique Iglacias' performance of Rhythm Divine added to the special. He played a little bit of that and then played some of Patty Smythe's ''Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough.''
Howard said they also have The Stone Temple Pilots performing Led Zeppelin's Moby Dick. He played a tiny bit of that and also have Howard singing the opening to Zeppelin's ''Immigration Song.'' He played that and also Robert Goulet performing Vinnie Favale's ''Restless, Restless.'' They also dug up a song that Leslie West and Tiny Tim performed together one time. Howard didn't remember that one but he played a little bit of it. They sang ''My Little Sunshine'' and Howard was fucking it up with a drum machine.
Gary said one song they weren't sure about including was Ian Hunter performing ''All The Young Dudes.'' He said that the interns didn't know who he was but they thought it was good enough to throw in there. Howard said the song kind of moved him so he's glad they put it in there. He said he knows Ian's voice wasn't all that great that day but he still liked it. Artie said he kind of digs that because it had soul. Fred said the guy was never a great vocalist, it was all about the song.
Howard said it meant something to him when he was singing the song even if it wasn't all that great. Howard said that the special is airing on July 4th but he thought that it was over the weekend. Jon Hein said that it's actually starting at 6am on Wednesday morning and will run the full 24 hours.
Howard read through some of that e-mail feedback and the fans liked it. Howard said it was kind of mean but it was kind of funny, he has to admit that. Eric wasn't saying anything. Howard told him he really does like him, and he's fun to talk to on the air, but Comedy has to win out over civility.
Artie said he used to like Eric but he's become very rude and he's very ungrateful. Eric told him to get over that. He said that they're painting him as an ungrateful person and he really is a grateful person. He said they have to get that straight. Howard told Artie he has to play along with that. Artie asked Eric to give him an example of him being grateful, just one example. Eric said that he's said thank you for stuff they've given him. Howard cut him off and said this could go on all day.
Howard said that he still likes Eric. Eric said that he heard Lisa G come in there and bring up the balloon stunt. He said that they should drop it because it's never going to happen. Artie kept up the ungrateful thing but Howard wanted to wrap up the call.
Howard asked Eric if he wanted to hear this porno clip that a fan sent in. It was from some movie called Cum Dumpsters. In the clip the guy goes nuts groaning as he's doing this chick. Howard said he has no desire to hear a dude doing that. Howard asked Eric if he sounds like that. Eric said ''no'' to that. Artie said they don't know what he sounds like having sex and they also don't know what he sounds like when he writes a thank you note.
Howard was wrapping up with Eric but Eric brought up the death of wrestler Chris Benoit. He was getting into that but Howard cut him off saying that he takes forever to get to his point. He hung up on Eric and played an old phony phone call that Richard made using some clips of a porn guy coming, using the clip as his own dry heaving sound.
Howard said Triple H got on that special and told a freaky story. He played the clip of that where Triple H was asking what Chris Benoit was and he figured that it was all about respect. He demanded respect and it meant everything to him. He then tells a story about how Chris took it upon himself to teach another wrestler a lesson after he had disrespected another guy by making him do 1000 squats. The next day the guy couldn't bend his legs so he forced him to do 500 more squats. That's how much respect meant to him. Howard said that sounds like something KC's father would do to him. He said he could never deal with something like that in his life. Howard said that story was kind of insightful because maybe that's the way he reacted to something in his personal life and took it to an extreme.
Howard said that there are some angry dudes there in the WWE. He wondered if Chris' wife Texted ''143'' to someone. He was referring to Sal's wife when he brought up that ''143'' thing.
Artie said that the discussion was just small talk, nothing big. He said he knows that he never said the word and he doesn't think he got a hold of the envelope. Robin thinks the guy got the envelope somehow. Artie said he didn't get it but then he said there was one thing with him. He said that he had talked about his father liking The Doors but he thinks he had talked about that on the air. Artie said that his mother and uncle guessed the word the other day and that was in front of his accountant so it's possible that he said something even though he asked him not to.
Eric said that he didn't hear Howard say that he thought that maybe the wife could have done the shooting in the murder/suicide. Howard said he did say that and maybe they were wrong about that and maybe someone else came in and killed them. Eric said there were no gun shots or stab wounds so there could be other things that killed them.
A caller told Howard to get Eric off the phone. Eric told the guy to go fuck a tree so the caller said he'd just push him down the stairs. Eric said that he hopes that the WWE never send another person to do an interview there. Howard said he didn't care if that happened, it wouldn't be a problem. He hung up on him a short time later.
Howard had a clip from that show where the Sheik was screaming at Randy Savage who was supposedly on the phone. He was calling him a ''Jew, cheap, son of a bitch.'' Ronnie came in and said he was actually there that night and right next to the guy. He said he and The Sheik were sitting there having a good time. He said the Sheik was drinking 20 oz. can's of beer one after the other. Howard said they have to book him for the show. Gary said that he's actually booked already for August 2nd.
Howard played a clip where the Sheik sounded like he was breaking down when a caller brought up his old manager who had passed away. His current manager said something to him and Ronnie said the Sheik started to punch the guy. He also said that the Sheik was crying as he was talking about that old manager. He called his current manager a faggot. Artie had his impression down already and started to do some lines as the Iron Sheik.
Howard asked Marc to do it with other words instead of Artie's secret password. Robin took out a dollar bill and Marc was going to try and write down the serial number. He said he doesn't claim to have any special powers. Howard said that if he gets this serial number, he has to have special powers. Marc stood in a corner and tried to come up with the number. He said that he wasn't asking any questions or anything like that. Marc read off the numbers 5, 8, 0, 2 and a 3. Robin said that there is a 5, 3 and 0. Marc wasn't happy with that. He said that he thinks there's a double number in there. Robin said it was the zero that was doubled up. She also said that there were two fives in there. He had already guessed five of the digits with that. He said the other one was probably 1 and got that right.
Howard asked Marc if he could guess what article Robin rips out of a newspaper. Marc said that he usually controls that kind of stuff. He also told a story about going to MIT last week where he was asked to break a code that they came up with. He said he just picks up on stuff that people do. He said he wished that he had asked questions because he could have been much better.
Marc said that he was one of the guys who picked jurors for the OJ Simpson case. He said he was picking out the unbiased people for the jury. He didn't pick the final list of people though. He said much of what he does doesn't involve guilt or innocence, he just picks out the unbiased people.
Howard asked Marc to do something like guess the newspaper article or a word he picks out of a book. Marc said he had to control it so he ended up picking the paper. He asked Howard which one he wanted to use. He said he had to decide which word he was going to guess Howard was going to pick from an article. He leafed through the whole paper and found a section that Howard hadn't put any notes in. Marc told him to find one of the double pages that are attached. Marc had him rip in half and then drop one piece on the floor, then he had him rip that piece in half and then horizontally. He said there was one word on the page that was very large. He said he had written it down himself and asked Howard what the largest word was. Marc had written down the word that he figured was going to be on the page when he finished ripping it up. IT wasn't a special power, it was just controlling the way he was ripping the paper.
Marc had Howard do some other ripping and tearing to show what he does. He said he has a bit more control over his audiences. He told Howard to put his finger in the air and come back down on the paper. Howard landed on ''Dinner'' but Marc said he had the number 4 written down.
Artie asked Howard to let Marc give him the special word that he had written down. A caller said that if the guy used a special pen he could have spelled out the word with the pen in a Palm Pilot or something. Another caller backed up that theory and said that this guy already knows the word and the whole thing is blown now. He said if the guy was up and up he would have had Artie write the word down in there. Artie said that the pen was very average looking.
Marc said that he admits that he's a con man and that's what his job is. He doesn't have any special powers. He then went through the alphabet a few times and watched Artie's reaction to the letters. He figured that the letter I was in the word. Artie said there is one in there. Marc asked Howard to get the next letter. He said that Artie's pupils get very large when he gets excited so he wanted him to watch his eyes as he went through the alphabet. He asked Artie to say ''no'' to every question he's asked and to have Howard try and guess what the word is. Howard had Artie come closer to him and then asked him about each letter of the alphabet. Artie did that and went through the whole alphabet.
Howard tried again from the beginning and guessed it was the letter D. Artie said that wasn't correct. He said there is no D in the word. Robin asked if there's an E and Artie said no to that as well. Marc said that he got the letter I but also said that it was either and S or a T that was next. He said that it must be an S. Artie confirmed it was an S. He guessed that it was SIT but Artie said that wasn't correct. It wasn't SIT but there was a T in the word. Marc handed Artie the word and he actually got it right. It turned out to be the word ''Otis.'' Artie said that his father worked with some Otis elevator equipment and it was a word that they had come up with when his father was on his death bed.
Howard wrote down a word of his own and wanted Marc to guess what it was. Howard said that he will say that Marc is the greatest mentalist ever if he can guess that word. He had Marc do his thing again. He ran through the alphabet and guessed that there was an O in the word. He was wrong. He kept getting that O every time he ran through the letters. Marc gave up after that because he wasn't able to get the letters. Howard showed him the word and it was simply ''THIS.'' He was trying to help Marc out. Artie said that people are going to think that he used a special pen with his word now. Marc said he was just there to entertain them. He wasn't there for cynicism.
Howard gave Marc some plugs for his book ''The Six Keys to Unlock and Empower Your Mind: Spot Liars & Cheats, Negotiate Any Deal to Your Advantage, Win at the Office, Influence Friends, & Much More'' and then went to break.
Howard said that the mentalist they had on 60 Minutes was good. Marc wasn't quite the same on the show. Artie said that he wanted to come up with someone who claims to talk to the dead to guess that word. Howard said that now it's really ruined because everyone has heard the word and anyone could guess what it is now. If Artie's dad is out there trying to talk to him, he may never know.
Howard said he had a bunch of things to play. He said he's got Bob Levy with Savanna and Beetlejuice out there. He said Bob complains about having to baby sit Beet out on the road but he really doesn't need to bring him with him. Bob could do his shows himself, without Beetle.
Howard said they asked Beetlejuice if he had sex with Beth O. Beet said that he did and Howard was going to have to deal with it. He said that he might have had her with two or three other guys too. Beet said he saw two Chinese guys fuckin' her when he got out of bed. Howard said he could tell Beet was lying because his pupils were bit.
In another clip Bob asked Beetlejuice if he would let Steve Langford in his house. He said he didn't like him and he was too scary to let him in. Howard said that's what goes on all day with Beetlejuice. He said he's not sure what their fascination is with Beet's stories but they apparently love it.
Howard said Beth wasn't around last night so he was going to beat off to this porno that Levy and Savanna were in. He said he actually jerked off to a guy playing a young Bob Levy fucking Savanna. He said that Savanna is so uninhibited in the movie too. She just opens up everything and she has no modesty there at all. He said it was disturbing watching someone playing Levy. He wondered why Vivid made a movie about Bob Levy's life.
Howard had the guys bring in Savanna and Bob. He told Savanna she was looking really hot. She said she didn't know why she bothered getting dressed since she usually strips down. She was ready to take off her pants right away. Beetlejuice came in a few seconds later and started rambling. Savanna took her pants off so Howard asked him what he thought about that. Beet said he didn't know nothing about that.
Artie thought that Savanna had new tits but she said they're the old ones. Howard asked Savanna if she would have sex with Beet in a movie. She said she wouldn't do it because she's all about chemistry and she doesn't have any with him. Howard asked Beet if he'd do her. Of course he would as long as she wanted to. Howard asked Beet not to lie about Beth and not tell stories about banging her. Beet said that he'd never know if he did.
Howard said he thinks that Beet lost more teeth. Artie said that's from too much cock sucking. That led to Artie and Beet going back and forth with Artie pissing Beet off. Beetlejuice told Artie that he needs to go on the ''trim slim'' or something because he's a fat motherfucker. Howard asked Beet how he stays so thin. He said he goes to the gym. Bob had him showing off his muscles and Artie said he looks like a little Wesley Snipes.
Howard told Savanna that he beat off to her movie last night but he can't believe that they have Bob Levy in the movie. Savanna said she was reading the script wondering who the fuck Bob was. Howard asked if she really blew Bob in a bathroom. Bob said it wasn't like that at all. He said it was special. She said that they were just having fun. Bob said they were in a back room at a comedy show. Savanna said that she was having a great time with Bob and he mentioned he had a cock so she started sucking it. He wasn't able to finish because someone came in and interrupted them.
Howard said he was watching this movie ''Stood Up'' last night. Beet kept interrupting talking about how great everything was. Bob said that Beet was talkative because he may have smoked some weed with Shuli.
Artie said he's talked to Bob about this before and he doesn't think that it's a good thing for him to do in his career. He'll never get on Letterman doing that kind of stuff. Bob said that they're never going to have him on anyway so it doesn't matter now.
Howard said that he really doesn't want to see Bob cracking jokes in a porno movie but he did kind of like seeing Bob in the movie. He played a clip from the movie where Bob is talking to this chick in a bar. Howard told him that was some acting going on there. Bob said that he's sure to win a big award for that scene right there. He was saying that the scene wasn't scripted but Howard knew it was. Bob admitted that he's not a good actor or a good liar.
Howard said that in the flashback scene in the movie Bob talks about being younger but then this guy who looks older than him comes in and starts banging Savanna. Bob said that was Tommy Gunn who was playing him as a younger man. Howard talked to Savanna about blowing that guy in the movie and she seemed to really be enjoying what she was doing. She said she likes to turn on the guys who are there filming because they're so jaded. Howard asked Bob if he actually considered fucking Savanna in the movie. He said he never really did but he'd like to have sex with her sometime.
The guys asked Bob and Savanna how long they lasted doing the blow job thing. Bob said it was probably 5 minutes or so before that person came in and interrupted them. Savanna said it was just a clean blow job, no kissing or anything like that going on. Bob said that he's pretty big down there but Savanna said that she doesn't care about size as long as it's hard. Artie said he's never seen it but he's heard that Bob's cock is pretty big.
Howard described one scene where Savanna takes the guy's dick and puts it in her ass. She said that she prepares for that. She said she'll take some muscle relaxers or something. She said that she actually has better orgasms when he takes it anally. Beetlejuice was all wound up and throwing in some comments during that discussion.
Howard told Savanna that anal sex can lead to cancer down there from what he heard. She said you only live once so it didn't seem to matter. Artie said that Savanna has to be somewhat turned on by Bob to have blown him. She said that she liked Bob. He was funny and made her laugh so it was no big deal to her. She said that a blow job isn't all that big of a deal to her. She said it's less intimate than other things.
Robin asked Artie when he thought he had a chance with her. Artie said it was down in Florida but Savanna said that he was delusional. He told Savanna that it was about 3 years ago and they were down there for the opening of Scores in Miami. She said she may have given off the wrong vibe. Artie had a girlfriend at the time but he could have misread her look. Artie said that this was depressing. Bob laughed at him when he heard all of that.
A phone caller said that he used to love Savanna but now he will never watch another one of her movies because she's been with Bob. The guys in the back called in with some clips of the Iron Sheik and tried to get Beetlejuice going. Beet didn't seem to care and just blew him off. They had the Iron Sheik calling him a Jew but Beet said he wasn't a Jew. Howard eventually hung up on him.
Howard said he found out that Savanna was sleeping with black guys now. She said that she does do them even though she's been advised not to do it. She was trying to talk to Howard but Artie was doing his Iron Sheik impression talking over her and Howard. Howard found out she's in the process of getting divorced. She's not dating right now either. Howard read that she wanted to have sex with Dave Navarro. That got Artie going as Iron Sheik again and then Savanna told her story. She said that she could have had him one night but she was planning to have sex with someone else that night.
Howard told Savanna that he was looking forward to this new movie coming out. He said that it looks like Savanna had lost some weight. She said that her weight fluctuates a lot. Howard asked Beetlejuice how hard he'd hit that if he could. He said he'd hit it really hard so Savanna let him whack her ass. He took a really hard shot at her and when she showed her ass, it was very red according to Howard. The mark on her ass looked like Beetlejuice's little hand.
Howard said things were turning into a zoo in there and tried to wrap it up. He gave Savanna some plugs for her stuff and said you can check her out at UniversityOfSavanna.com. Howard gave Bob a plug for his web site RevBobLevy.com too.
Howard said that Beetlejuice will be headlining at The House of Blues in Atlantic City on July 4th. As he was plugging that the guys were telling Beetlejuice to kiss Savanna's ass. He didn't do it though. You can check him out at JollyDwarf.com
Howard took a call from a guy who said he liked this new Beetlejuice, he was all happy. Howard said it did seem like he had changed from the last time he was on. He asked Beetlejuice what it was. He wondered if he found God or something. Beet said that God finds him, not the other way around. The Howard TV guys replayed Beet's smack so everyone could see that. The guys in the back called in again with clips of Leon Spinks and had him rambling on and on. Another caller asked Savanna does ass to mouth on film. She said that she's never done that. She said that she prepares ahead of time for anal sex and she's always clean back there when she films. Howard took another call
One caller asked Savanna if she wanted to do some phone sex. She said that she's not all that verbal so she wasn't into that. Robin said she was shocked by that. Howard wrapped up with her a short time later and thanked everyone for coming in. He talked to Beet about all of his missing teeth and asked if he has a hard time eating. Beet said he can eat apples no problem. Bob was saying that he actually just eats the easy foods like spaghetti.
Richard came in and told Howard that Bob hurt his back on stage one time and he asked someone to bring him an 8-ball of coke to help him out. He was telling that story but Beet was talking over them all. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Artie said that people have laughed at him all this time but he didn't even get a TV until last year. He was joking of course. Howard went on to read the story about this iPhone and how it's not going to be able to live up to the hype its been getting so far.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Artie ruined that interview with Savanna by doing his Iron Sheik thing. The guy asked Artie when he last saw his cock without using a mirror. Artie said it was when his mother was sucking him. The caller seems to think that Artie will lose his new house when he leaves the show. He said that Artie constantly disrespects Howard but Howard didn't feel that way. He said Artie never disrespects him.
The caller thought that Artie was going to lose his house within 6 months after he leaves the show. He admits that he's an angry fat guy himself so Artie tried to get him to come out to see him at a show sometime but the guy didn't seem that interested even though he said he loves Artie.
Howard let Jeff go and said he just found something interesting. He read that Lawrence Coward (King of All Blacks) was suing his boss because she's allegedly been harassing him. He read the article and it says that his street sweeper job was taken away from him and he was made into a general laborer.
Howard was going to let Jeff the Drunk go but Jeff said that he got back stage to see Hank Williams Jr. That led to Gary talking about how he ran into Hank's manager and the guy told him what a pain in the ass Jeff was. Gary said the guy let Jeff go back and meet the guy but Jeff was demanding to have 6 people go with him. Gary said that he wants Jeff to work for that kind of stuff. He said that he's going to fuck everything up for them by doing that stuff. Jeff said that his manager was the one who got him the tickets. Gary said that he used Howard's name and that's going to screw things up for them.
Howard asked what Jeff did that was a pain in the ass. He said the manager was saying that Jeff was calling over and over and asking to have more people allowed back stage with him and stuff like that. Jeff said that he did make the calls.
Gary said that he had tried to get tickets for him but he wasn't able to get them. Jeff went behind his back after that and bothered that guy about getting him tickets. Jeff apologized and told everyone to have a good weekend.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Artie that he ruined that interview with that Iron Sheik impression he was doing. He goofed on Mariann and said he was so sorry for doing that.
Steve got back to his news report and said that they were suggesting that they send Mike down to Disney with Joey Boots and Siobhan since all three of them are single. Howard asked Steve if he's going to try to get up to Mike's apartment again. Steve said they tried once and that's it. They joked about getting a search warrant though.
A caller said that Steve is the most underrated guy on the show because he's like a bulldog. That led to the guys talking about how great Steve is at doing what he does. A short time later High Pitch Mike came in to explain why he won't let Lisa G up to his apartment. Mike said that letting Lisa into his apartment is like letting Steve win. He said that Steve never trusts him and he thinks that letting anyone into his apartment is an invasion of privacy.
Howard said that all Steve wants to do is get verification that the TV is in the box. Mike said that maybe they should have Steve cover the new season of American Idol instead of this. Mike said that he got an invite to go to a Broadway show with Lisa G. Howard heard that Mike had gotten frisked by the cops. Mike said that three cops got out of their unmarked car and stopped him on his way to do laundry. Steve threw in the six year old kid during that conversation.
Mike said that the cops stopped him and said that they have the right to stop anyone walking out of a building. He said he showed them his ID and they left shortly after that. They must have seen him with the laundry and figured maybe he was carrying drugs. Mike said that maybe Steve sent those guys out to check out his TV. Artie asked him if he's ever had anyone from work who has been to his apartment. He said he doesn't hang out with anyone there so no one had been there. Howard said Steve was laughing at the picture of the TV in the box. Mike joked that he wanted to cut Steve's body up into little parts and put them into the box when he finally does take the TV out.
Steve ran down a couple of other things and got in plugs for Jackie's Joke Hunt and Riley Martin's show which are at 7pm and Midnight tonight. Jon Hein then came in and ran down the stuff they were going to cover today on The Wrap Up Show. He said they'll talk about Bob Levy, Savanna Samson and Beetlejuice's visit to the show today. They'll also talk about mentalist Marc Salem's visit. They'll talk about the Iron Sheik clips and Artie's impression of him. That led to Howard replaying some of those clips and reminding everyone that Sheik will be in on August 2nd.
Dominic Barbara called in and told the guys about this special pen that they have for using in court that can copy and print out what it sees. He said that could be the way Marc found out what he found. He also said he was kind of sad that they had given out the secret word today because now there's no reason to have anyone else in to do that. Dominic wished everyone a great vacation as if this week was coming to an end today. Robin said they have two days left.
Howard ended up talking to Artie about leaving the show in January. Artie said he rethought that and he's not sure what's going on. He may just stay with the show and not take time off like he had talked about.
Howard said that the place Robin is getting her food from is very expensive. He said that their minimum delivery price is $45 so she must have payed that much for her little snack there. Robin started her news a short time later.
Robin ran through a bunch of stories and later in the news Howard asked Artie to look at something on his back that was driving him nuts. He thought it was a scratch or something. Artie took a look and said there was a tiny scratch but it was kind of close to his mole. Howard had him picking his back and Artie pulled out what he thought was a splinter back there. Howard thanked his ''bro'' for pulling it out and said he hoped it wasn't too gross. Artie said it looked like a piece of wood that never really penetrated the skin. He wasn't worried about getting anything from Howard because he knows he's clean. Howard ended up rubbing some alcohol on that area after the little operation because he's not so sure about Artie being clean.
Howard wrapped up the show after Robin finished up her news. Artie got in some plugs for some upcoming gigs he had as well. They ended the show around 10:50am.
Howard started off the show asking Robin who she was talking to in her booth. She had a man under her desk doing something. It turned out to be Scott the Engineer fixing something. Howard moved on and took a phone call from a guy who asked if he had heard about the Chris Benoit death. Howard said he was talking about how the guy sounded like he was a little out of control. He talked about the tribute to Chris that they did on the WWE special they ran the other night. He said Vince McMahon had to come out and apologize for that after the truth came out about Chris killing himself, his wife and son.
Howard said that it turns out the wife was strangled and then a couple days later the kid was killed and then Chris killed himself by hanging. Robin said the kid was found with needle marks in his arms and they're saying that it was from growth hormones. Howard said that it's obvious that some of those guys are on steroids and some people are saying that could be the reason that Benoit lost it.
Howard replayed the story that Triple H told about Benoit at the WWE tribute to Chris. In that tribute Triple H talked about the respect that Chris demanded from everyone and how he had forced one wrestler to do 1000 squats after he thought he'd disrespected another wrestler. Then the next day he made the guy do 500 more even though he could barely bend his legs. Howard talked about how some of those wrestlers are into this ''respect'' thing but this guy may have pushed it a little too far.
After playing that clip he played the audio of Vince McMahon coming out and apologizing for that 3 hour tribute they did for Chris. He said that it's hard to take the guy seriously though. In the clip Vince says that there will be no mention of his name during that show other than what he had just said. He goes on to explain how the WWE performers are going to do what they do better than anyone in the world, entertain people. Howard joked that Vince was then going to do a tribute to the VA Tech shooter.
Robin said that Chris Benoit should have been pissed at Vince for giving him that name. She wondered what Vince was thinking when he put on that special because they had to have known some details of the killings. Howard asked if they would do a show the next day if Fred had wiped out his entire family. Robin said that they'd have a tribute like the WWE did. Howard said the real crime is that Vince's voice is ravaged from yelling all these years. Robin said that stuff does take a toll on those guys.
Howard read that Benoit was his real name which surprised him. He said he thought that was a made up name and ''Ben-wah'' was the right pronunciation. Robin said that's not the correct pronunciation, it's ''Ben-oi.''
Howard said he was surprised to learn that Bob Levy used to wrestle. Artie said he knew that and they talked about it on the Wrap Up Show yesterday. Howard thought that was impressive. It might be fake but you still need some agility and ability to do that stuff. Artie said he wants to play Bob in the Bob Levy life story if there ever is one.
Howard played more clips about Chris Benoit's death. He said he read that Chris was upset that he had been demoted. They were having him lose in his story lines and that may have upset him. Artie said he heard from Chris Kanyon the other day and Howard might want to get some comments from him. Howard went on to play some audio where Stacy McMahon talked about Chris and how passionate he was about family. Howard said she might be right because he doesn't know anyone who would be into it that much to go home and kill his family.
He played some other comments from some of Chris' co-workers there at the WWE. After that he talked about how riveting the story was when he was following it in the news. He said that it was really shocking that Chris was shooting up his son with growth hormone. He said that maybe the guy got a prescription from the doctor if the kid was a dwarf or something.
Howard said he was under some stress in his life and had a lot of things going on that were hard to deal with. He didn't really have anyone to talk to at the time since he wasn't in therapy. He said he didn't think he ever would have done that to him. He said he wondered about why people were so passionate about life that they'd want to kill themselves.
Howard said he doesn't know what was going on in Chris' life so he can't really comment. Robin said that it had to be tough for Chris to stay in the house with his dead wife and then want to kill his son and himself.
The guys took some of those clips of The Iron Sheik and some of the clips of Lily Tomlin yelling on the set of the movie ''I Heart Huckabees'' to have the two of them yelling back and forth at each other. Howard quickly played that and then took some phone calls.
Howard took a call form one guy who talked about how huge The Iron Sheik was back in the 1980s. They spent a minute on that before Howard took another call. The woman said that her son would be a better date for Robin than The Sim would. Howard said that The Sim is coming in today and he needs to get his shot at dating her. Howard said he got a note about The Sim and they were saying he looks like Shuli. Gary said that he was claiming that he looks very ''Jewy'' but he thinks that he's an 8 on a scale of 10. if he wasn't so Jewy he thinks he'd be a 10. Howard heard that he looked like Shuli so he asked Robin if she's attracted to Shuli. Robin laughed.
Howard took a call from a guy who claimed to be Chris Benoit's brother doing a bit that turned out to be very unfunny. He took another call but before the guy could ask a question he talked about how he's been watching dating shows a lot lately. He said he's been watching ''Age of Love'' and enjoying that. Howard talked about what goes on in those shows and how seriously they take that stuff.
Howard said he loves these romance shows that they put on. He likes watching people dating like that. He said he wouldn't watch them if he wasn't with Beth though. He wouldn't take the time to watch that stuff if he wasn't in a relationship. Robin said he'd be busy trying to date. Howard said that ''Science of Love'' was really good but it was apparently only a one time special. He had to go to break after that.
Howard said there was a story about Eddie Murphy in the paper where they talk about the kind of money he's worth. That led to Howard talking about how Eddie is worth about $140 million but he should have Oprah Winfrey money with the kind of talent he has. Artie said that he thinks that Tim Allen, Drew Carrey and guys like that probably have more money than Eddie does.
Gary said that Eddie has made 30 movies and asked Howard to guess what the average gross was. Howard said it must be pretty high. Gary said that it was $97 million. Howard said that the one that probably dragged it down was ''Pluto Nash'' which turned out to be true. Gary said that one only grossed $4 million.
Howard said that he has sad news about Eric the Midget who is announcing his retirement from the show. He said that he thinks that he doesn't respect the WWE enough. He said that Eric sent him a 3 page letter so he read some of that. He read the letter, which I also go, so here's what he wrote:
Well after today a lot of you will get your long awaited wish. I'll be 100% done with the show for good this time. After how fucking disrespectful, and in human acting Howard was yesterday morning towards Mr. McMahon, his family, Triple H., Chris Beniot, his family, and the whole great WWE company. Tomorrow will be my 100% last call I promise. I don't want to deal with his disrespectful ass anymore the he's a person really only fucking cares about is himself, and the money he gets off of all of the people that pay to listen to his pathetic excuse for entertainment so I'm 100% done with that shit. Yesterdays show was the complete last straw. Nothing short of an on air I'm sorry for being a complete in human acting ass toward you, and the WWE is going to bring me back to the show this time. Since I don't see that ever happening that means I this time won't be back. The other things that would have to happen are number one the balloon stunt would have to be completely dropped. Number two trying to get me laid every time a porn star comes around would have to stop. I hate that. Pushing a person to get laid isn't right at all no matter if they are an adult. In a way I see it as a little like trying to rape me. I want to have sex but I want it to be on my terms, and my way. Also I don't want it to be a whole public thing. Number three he would have to stop playing off as some ungrateful little miserable asshole bad guy to all of you listeners. Sure some of you have the brains to see through the whole thing the rest of you are as retarded as he is. The fourth, and last thing he'd have to do is kind of a two parter. Drop the damn nick-name, and treat me with some damn respect. So that also means no sound effects or anything like that. No more making fun of me is also included in this whole thing. If he expect people to show him respect he needs to return the favor. So I like said since I never see any of this ever happening don't ever expect Stern to say these words again after today. Howard Stern, ''Hey we have Eric 'The Midget' on the line do you want to hear from him right now.'' I can't be a part of a show anymore where the head of show acts the way Howard did yestersday. I mean how would he feel if they lost one of the married male members of their staff, and his wife, and kid, or kids, and the next morning on air Howard, and the others starter telling their heart felt memories of that person, and his family, and some outsider called in making cracks, and laughing about it.
I know the way the whole thing went down Beniot ended up where he killed his wife, and his young kid. Yes I do see that as a completely horrible thing to do to your family, but I've been watching him wrestler on tv, and live in arenas for years now what happened was completely unlike him. All you had to do was sit, and listen to the heart felt words of his co-workers, and close friends to see the Chris Beniot that killed his wife, his young son, and then himself wasn't the real Chris Beniot. I've seen clips of him, and the others inacting with kids from Make A Wish. They are all a bunch of really cool, and caring people. Even the ones that go out to the ring, and make fun of the crowds, and act like assholes in real life are really nice guys, and women that are really cool to meet, and hang out with. This past year I've had some chances to meet a few of them including Vince's son Shane. I've enjoyed meeting every WWE Superstar, and Diva that I've met. Dispite the fact that people knock the company by saying oh it's all fake, and all of the other stuff they say. It is a company full of really cool big hearted people. That do a ton of great charity work. More then I can say for Howard, and his crew. So you will never hear my voice again on air unless they play one of the many retarded prank calls they've or one my many messages that I've left. So in other words this is a 100% goodbye for good.
Howard read through most of the letter and commented on some of his comments. He said that he had Eric on the phone but Gary is the one who called him. Howard told Eric he should have hung up on Gary. Howard said he's already back on the show, his ban only lasted until he called in. Eric said that after today's show he won't call in again.
Howard said that Eric isn't done with the show, he wouldn't have called in if he was really done. Eric went off on Robin and Howard about the segment where they goofed on Chris Benoit. Howard said that guy just killed a little kid. He said ''shame on you'' to Eric about that whole thing. Eric said that he knows that it was a terrible thing to do but it doesn't give anyone the right to knock the guy. Howard asked Eric if he has the right to knock Hitler. Eric said that Hitler did much worse than Chris Benoit. He killed more people. Howard said that he can make fun of Chris Benoit for killing his wife and son.
Howard said that Eric needs to get a life because he's worshiping guys who wear tights. He said the guy killed his son and wife and there's nothing there to be praised. He said that Vince McMahon won't even mention the guy's name now. Howard said that Eric will call in again. Eric insists he won't call ever again but Howard and the guys don't believe it.
Eric said he doesn't have to give up going to events and stuff. Howard wanted to see what the fans had to say about that so he let some callers through to comment on it. Eric got all pissed off at the fans who were calling in. He was yelling at them and calling them names. One guy asked him why he keeps calling in if he hates the radio show so much. Eric said that someone has to set this idiot (Howard) straight. Howard was talking about how many things they've hooked him up with over the years but Eric was bragging that he hadn't asked for any money since they left K-Rock.
Eric was claiming that the TV show ''Two and a Half Men'' was better and funnier than Howard's show. One caller told Howard that Eric is a great guy on the show and he doesn't want him to go. Some callers told Howard to just get rid of the little guy. One guy called him a homo which Eric defended. One guy said that there's no way Eric won't call into the show again. Howard said that if Eric is going to claim that he's never calling again, he's going to keep him off the show so when he does call back, he's not going to let him on.
Howard said that he knows Eric is a man of his word but he doesn't think he knows himself that well. He believes that he will call back. Howard said he's going to call off the date between Eric and Brandy Taylor. Fred said that if Eric was serious, he would have sent just one line and given it up. He's looking for attention for this whole thing. Howard asked Eric if he wants to take this back now, because he will play it back when he does call back.
Howard said that they don't even need Eric to call in, they have clips of him that they can play. He played some of those and told Eric that they don't even need him now. Howard told Eric ''Bye forever!'' and said he knows that Eric will never be able to avoid the show for long. Eric was still on the phone. He said he's going to prove that he won't call in again and not show up at Scott Ferrall's appearance at the Arco Arena. Howard said he doesn't have to do that but they can turn him away if he wants. Eric said he wouldn't be turned away. Howard told Eric it's been nice knowing him and figured he'd hung up by that point. Howard said they'll see what happens.
Lisa mentioned they have a new Page 69 story about how Jason and JD are battling. Jason is upset about some of the stuff JD has said about him on the Intern Show. Howard said that Jason has a normal personality while JD is kind of wacky. JD came in so Howard talked to him about his lack of confidence. That led to the guys talking to him about his sex life and trying to find out how many chicks he's been with. Howard asked JD who his first chick was. JD said that the girl had come up with the Bunny Ranch people one time.
Jason came in and said that JD gets killed every time he's on the Intern Show. He gets pissed off at him for no reason. Howard said that JD is a nice looking guy but he's weird. He said that he's mumbling and not able to speak. He told him to talk to Lisa like he's meeting her in a bar. He wanted to see him acting normal. He and Lisa had a little banter going on and J