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Howard started off the show talking about what they had coming up on the show. They had the weigh in for the Battle of the Blobs show. They also have Lexi Bardot coming in to play a game of Schphinctionary. Robin and Artie came in around that time so Howard mentioned the Jimmy Kimmel appearance he made on Friday last week.
Artie said he got a bunch of calls about that appearance and one of them was from Howard and that message was very nice. Howard said Artie was very relaxed and it appeared he was just ad-libbing the whole thing. Artie said it's much easier to do a show when you're friends with someone. He said he did do a pre-interview but he and Jimmy just talked about a bunch of stuff.
Howard played the intro that Jimmy gave Artie when he came out. Jimmy talked about what a mess Artie is and then had him come out to cheers from the crowd. Artie talked about this midget who came out and played the leprechaun earlier in the show and talked about how he knew him. He told a story about working with the midget on ''Dirty Work'' and how they had him listed as ''Midget'' on the call sheet for the movie. The guy's agent got pissed about that so they had them change it to his name. The next morning the call sheet read ''Paul the Midget'' which got a laugh from the crowd. Jimmy gave out the midget's real name but Artie had changed it because he was trying to protect him since he said he had just bought weed from the guy.
Artie talked about the difference between calling a little person a midget and using the N-word with a black person. He said they're not the same thing. Artie was killing so Robin said that she wanted to hear more after that. Artie said that story was all ad-libbed because he had just seen the midget guy after doing the pre-interview so he just talked to Jimmy about that without sticking to the list.
Howard played more of the Kimmel interview where Artie was talking about how his coke dealer had once given him green cocaine so when his nose bled it looked like a Christmas tree with the green and red. Then he told another story about going to a bar with some friends on a St. Patrick's day evening. He and his buddies were so drunk they didn't remember that they had tickets to a basketball game. They were at a bar and eventually ran over to see the game. Artie was so drunk he didn't remember that he was yelling out that Michael Jordan was gay so a guard came over and told him he couldn't do that. Artie said his friend told him he was asking the guard if he could say certain things and he ended up asking the guy if he could call his mother a whore. They ended up getting kicked out of the game for that.
Artie got two full segments so when they went to break Jimmy said he was going to talk to Artie about Howard's engagement. Artie said ''Yeah, what a fruit'' when Jimmy brought up the engagement. After a commercial break Artie and Jimmy talked about the engagement. Artie said Howard is very lucky with Beth because he's never found a great girl like that, he's always had whores who just wanted his money. They spent a short time on the engagement. Jimmy asked Artie if he's going to help out with the bachelor party. Artie said he wouldn't know what to do about that because Howard has so much money.
Howard said Artie was on fire on that show and he did good. He said he knows how tough it is to do those shows. Artie said that he's been meeting a lot of people lately who have SIRIUS and it seems like everyone has it. He said the actor who was on with him on Kimmel even told him he and his friends have it and listen all the time.
Howard played more of Artie's interview where he was talking about how people love and hate him so they'll make fun of him out on the street and then ask to have their picture taken with them. He was also talking about this ''Wah'' phenomenon he's created. He talked about how people will be doing that to his mother when he dies. He said he hopes that he doesn't die before his mother. He said that would be horrible. He talked about that being awful and then talked about something else that was horrible and said it was a Mets vs. Reds game back in 1987.
Howard said Artie was really on a roll on that show. He played a little more of the interview where Artie talked about how people have mistaken him for Rosie O'Donnell because he's gotten so fat. He was talking about the fat thing and how he had this chick out in Vegas and how he couldn't see her face as she was blowing him. He said he told a buddy that he wasn't sure what it was but something was blowing him.
Howard told Artie that it may have been one of the best stand-up appearances he's ever seen on a talk show. Artie said that the dude who followed him on that show is dating a really hot chick. He said she used to work at G4 with Beth and it must be a really hot chick place to work.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Artie what he thought of the band that played on that show. Artie said that they weren't rockin' enough for him. The band, The Feelings, was a little too light for Artie. The caller said he could only think of Gilbert saying ''What are you a Homo?'' Another caller said that the other guest, Brian Greenberg, was describing the show he's on called ''October Road'' and an audience member yelled out ''Wah'' while he was describing it. Artie said that was one of the biggest laughs on the show. Howard had that clip so he played that as well.
Another caller said that he was worried about what they were going to bleep on that show because they can't say much of anything on network TV. The caller was also telling Howard that the show was great last week and it seems like they're constantly improving over the years. Robin said someone told her how Artie seems to be ''unleashed'' on satellite and he's been doing great since they moved.
The caller was also telling Howard that he should have been proud of how his movie did back in 1997. Howard opened with a $15 million weekend and the movie did pretty well after that. Howard said that they made about $80 million total after that. He said he hasn't made a movie in the past 10 years. He said he just got a script this past weekend that was a great idea for a movie but it just wasn't that good. It was a good idea that didn't go anywhere.
Artie said that Milosh Forman loves Norm MacDonald and has told him that no one even buys scripts anymore, they just buy the ideas for movies. Howard took a call from a guy who asked why the Chris Rock interview hasn't been on Howard TV yet. Howard said he'd find out from Doug Goodstein.
Another caller said that Artie looked huge on Kimmel. Howard said everyone is worried about Artie's weight and even Artie seems to be worried about it but he just accepts it. Artie said he's not that accepting of it. He said he would like to get older. Robin said she thought he was going to get into that weight loss thing after last week. He said come April he will do something about it.
Doug Goodstein came in and said they'll have that Chris Rock show on in early April. He said they had that basketball show going on that day so that's what they put up on Howard TV that day.
Howard asked Eric who he's for on that show. Eric said he's for Lakisha and he's going to be voting for her this week. He said that it won't be fun if that guy wins. He's afraid that the show will end if they get that guy voted in. Howard said he thinks that Eric is against black people on that show because he doesn't really vote for anyone black on the show. Eric claims that he does vote for black people on there and he doesn't have any racist problems at all.
Howard played some phony commercials that they came up with for the Sanjaya thing. He had a phony Angelina Jolie, David Lee Roth and Ozzy Osbourne telling everyone to vote for Sanjaya. Eric asked Howard how he would feel if he ruined his favorite show, Dancing with the Stars. Howard pretended he was upset about that and asked Eric not to ruin that show. Eric said he thinks that show is so boring that he almost fell asleep watching it last week.
Howard played a voice mail from Crazy Alice who is on Eric's side in this thing. She's against him for not voting for black people on the show though so she had mixed feelings about it. She hopes that Sanjaya doesn't win and called him some names. She also went off on Eric a little bit but was also saying that she was on his side. She went off on Howard too.
Howard played another celebrity endorsement for Sanjaya. This time it was High Pitch Eric playing the part of Michael Jackson. Eric said he knew it was High Pitch Eric but Howard insisted that it was Michael Jackson. He told Eric that he should just join them and vote for Sanjaya this week.
Howard said there's a woman out there who is on a hunger strike because of this Sanjaya thing. She's so upset about it that she's going on a hunger strike. Howard played some audio of her explaining why she's doing this and how she's going to do this hunger strike until the guy is voted off or the producers take him off. She said you can find more about this at Myspace.com/starvationforsanjaya. Howard told Eric that maybe he should join her but Eric said he's not into it that much.
Artie said there's nothing that would get him to go on a hunger strike like that. Eric told him he should go on one because he's so fat. Howard said that Artie won't even protest the Iraq war over that. Howard had some audio clips from a bunch of entertainment shows talking about the Sanjaya thing and how Howard Stern has been pushing for people to sabotage the show. Inside Edition did a little report about it. Howard told Eric that he could be a part of it if he just joined them now. Eric said ''no way'' to that idea.
Howard said they have a game in mind where Eric would have to vote for Sanjaya if he lost. Eric said he would stick to his word if he did play the game and lost. Howard played more audio clips from various news reports where they talked about this Sanjaya guy staying on the show. A lot of people are thinking that Howard is responsible for the guy still being on the show.
Howard told Eric that he should get in on this whole thing because it's getting so big. Eric was still saying he wanted no part of it. Howard played another clip from The View where they talked about how Howard has been pushing to keep Sanjaya on the show along with that web site VoteForTheWorst.com. Eric said that he doesn't think that they have a chance of keeping that guy on the show for too long.
Howard said he liked when Eric called in and said that he didn't want Sanjaya on the show because when he goes to see the tour, he doesn't want to see that guy performing. Howard went into another audio clip where Keith Olberman talked about the Sanjaya thing and how people are giving Howard credit for pushing to keep the guy on the show. Keith interviewed Maria Milito about what's going on and she doesn't believe that Howard is responsible for it and he won't be able to make it happen since he's not on free radio anymore. She said she's always liked Howard though.
Robin asked Eric if he ever has fun. Eric said he does and just last month he had fun at a WWE party where he met a bunch of wrestlers. He started rattling off names so the guys cut him off and said they get it, he had fun. Howard played another news report where they gave him credit for the voting. Justin Guarini was asked about the voting but that interview was so boring that Howard cut it off.
Howard took a call from Governor Schwarzenegger (Fake Arnold) who was trying to convince everyone to vote for Sanjaya. He said this is the American way and they should all have some fun with this and vote for the dark horse on the show. Howard said this is kind of the way Arnold won the governorship. He said he was the dark horse and came out to win. Howard asked Eric if he agrees with this. Eric said that he voted against Governor Schwarzenegger in the last election. Eric asked Arnold about something that went on with The Apprentice last night but Arnold didn't answer him on that.
Howard asked Governor Schwarzenegger how things were going. Arnold said things are going okay but he did have a guy stalking him a couple of years ago and now he's thinking that Eric is the one doing it. He told Eric not to screw with him because he will cut off his support if he doesn't go along with him. Eric exposed Fake Arnold for who he was and asked him to answer this question he had for him about last night's Apprentice show. Arnold went off on him and said he's sick of this shit. Howard told Arnold that Eric had peed his bed in his PJ Pants. Arnold said Eric reminds him of this guy that was in Total Recall with him.
Howard asked Arnold if he thinks Eric should lift weights. Arnold told him he shouldn't even think he should be living. Howard wrapped up with him a short time later. Howard told Eric that this was the real Arnold, not Fake Arnold. He told Eric to go do whatever he has to do. Eric said they can fool George Takei with that stuff twice but not with him. Howard told Eric he had to get going and he was missing out on getting some credit for that Sanjaya thing but he blew it. He went into his Eric impression and goofed on him a little bit as he was saying goodbye. He said he loves Eric and even that he won't join the movement. He knows that Eric will call in and gloat if Sanjaya gets voted off this week.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the Schphinctionary game sounds like a fun thing to play. Howard explained the game to the guy and said two guys are going to be competing to win a date with this Lexi Bardot chick. The guys are going to be drawing pictures with their asses. He played some audio of her getting screwed in some movies she was in. She was yelling out and describing what she was having done to her. Howard said he's never heard a woman talk like that during sex.
Howard said he also learned that Hot for Teacher was about a teacher who was really hot. He played a little more of that song and ended up talking about some other songs where they mention chess. He said they had a band on the show one time whose song he really liked. Fred knew it was Red Rider and their song ''Lunatic Fringe.'' Fred said that was like their only hit song. Robin had no idea what song Howard was trying to sing but Fred somehow knew exactly what he was talking about. He played that song a short time later. Artie said they play that song on Classic Vinyl on SIRIUS. He said they had just played it a few days ago.
Howard played more of the Yes song and talked about his own chess games lately. He said he does good but then he'll make one bad move and fuck up the whole thing Robin said that she's kind of that way with racing. She said she was out racing this weekend in California. She managed to get out before the snow storm stopped her. She said that she was just practicing.
Robin said she was stuck in this little town called Lancaster and she was there with people like Katherine Morris from Cold Case, Emily Proctor from CSI, Kelly Hu, Aiesha Tyler, Kendra from The Girls Next Door... Howard said she was surrounded by a bunch of hot chicks. Robin said there was no getting away from them. She said Martina Navratilova was snowed in over in Philly so she couldn't fly in right away. Howard said she would have been in heaven with all of those hot chicks. Robin said Martina may be calling into the show today so they can talk to her about that.
Robin said that Kelly Hu would get very girlie at night after being dressed in the racing jumpsuits. Howard didn't remember who she was at first but then remembered how hot she was. Robin said that Josh Morrow was also there. She said that there may have been a little bit of an altercation between the locals and the celebrities. She said the bar at the hotel was kind of the local gathering place and they got upset when George Lucas wanted to watch an Formula 1 race instead of something else. Robin said everyone was going up to George and talking to him about when they met him. Howard said he should go back to working on those Star Wars scripts. He said he's busy ruining the franchise. Robin said everyone became a Star Wars geek when they were around him.
Howard went off on Lucas saying that he really ruined that franchise. Robin said she brought a girlfriend with him to keep the other women away. Howard said that he's starting to look like Jabba the Hutt now. Robin said she had a nice time with him this weekend and she was star struck by him. She said that Star Wars was incredible and she was really star struck by the guy. Howard said he would have told him what he thought about his movies if he was there. Robin said Emily Proctor went up to him and asked if Jabba was a bad guy. That's when Robin realized what he must go through.
Howard said he would have asked about that Jar Jar Binks crap. Artie said he would have asked him about American Graffiti if he was there. That way he would have thrown him a curve ball. Robin was saying that she had a lot of fun racing up there but she doesn't think she's ready to race Bubba yet. She said there was one big crash this weekend between George Lucas and this other guy Jerry. She said that she has gotten down the start of the race very well and she figured out how to get the jump on the rest of them. She said that's when George and Jerry got into their wreck, going into the first corner.
Howard asked Robin what George Lucas' girlfriend does. She said she's a financial analyst on Good Morning America. Howard wanted to look her up but Robin couldn't remember her name. She said she was trying to look her up herself. Fred eventually found a name that he thought might be her so he asked Robin if it was Melody Hobson. Robin said that was her so Fred looked it up. It turns out she's a black chick so Howard thought Robin was hiding that from him. She said she was going to tell him but he cut her off. They talked about that for a short time but Howard had a bunch of other things to get to.
Howard had Lisa G come in with her Howard 100 News preview. She said that they will have a report about the original weigh in. They found that Benjy may have been wearing a weight belt or something. Benjy swore on his mother's live that he didn't do anything like that. Fred said that he was wearing a hat that day so maybe he was hiding something in there. Benjy said he only wore the hat because he was going to be on camera. Fred told Benjy to fess up now. Benjy said that he didn't do anything like that and wasn't hiding any weight.
Lisa went through a couple more stories and mentioned that Chuck Zito was going to be doing a show tonight at 7pm on Howard 101. Howard let her go and then moved on to the weigh in.
Howard wanted a list of what everyone weighed last week but it wasn't there. Howard asked Gary how he's supposed to do this without the list. He was hoping that the Schphinctionary game went better. He said he might have to fire someone over this. He eventually got the list so they got to the weighing in. This is week 3 so here's how everyone stands...
Artie actually gained even more weight this week after gaining 2 pounds last week. He was up by 5 more pounds! Artie said he was eating a lot of crap out in California over the weekend. Jon Hein only lost 1 pound. He said he's been eating healthy and exercising every day. He said he's not sure why it's not coming off. He said last night his blood sugar was low so he ate a couple of things but it's obviously not worth it to stay on the diet. He may just go to Wendy's after the show today. Mike Gange was up next and gained a pound. Artie said that his team sucks. They've gained all of this weight while the other team is losing. Benjy was the guy who was keeping them in the contest. He only lost 6 more pounds this week.
Gary said that Tim's team is in the lead by quite a bit compared to what it was last week. Gary said that after the 5th week they break up the teams and start an individual weight loss thing. Artie said he's always had a negative effect on his teams in whatever he's competed in. The grand prize in the contest is courtesy of Cylaris weight loss.
Howard said the look on Gange's face was great when he learned that he had gained weight. He said that they really need to get this thing together and went off on Gary about not having everything set up. He said even this Schphinctionary thing was going to be a nightmare. He said they didn't have it set up right and he had a feeling it was going to go badly.
Howard took another call from a guy who asked Howard if Beth can fit his whole penis in her mouth. Howard said she can take him in. He was also saying that he can dump a lot of goo when he jerks off too. He said it looks like dental floss coming out. Artie said that he manages to get a lot of that crap under his gut when he finishes. He said there's always shit under his gut no matter how he finishes. He said he's got a full fledged gunt going on there and it looks like icicles are hanging off when he finishes.
Howard took another call from a guy who saw the Bubba Wedding Special on Howard TV and thought it was really good. The guy said that Ralph was acting a lot like Howard in that special. Howard said some people actually mistake him for Howard Stern because of that. The caller was also talking about
Another caller told Howard that he went down to Artie's autograph signing over the weekend and the manager of the store told him that they had canceled it. Artie said he was glad he called in because it turns out the companies that put out his two DVDs are fighting like children and they ended up canceling the appearance. He said he thinks he's taken care of the whole thing and they should be okay from now on.
A caller told Howard that he listened to Bubba on Friday morning and thought it was brilliant to put him on in the mornings. Howard said they have that on Howard 101 and Mastertape Theatre on Howard 100. The caller said he's been listening to Bubba and starting to talk like him. He had some Bubba-isms that he's picked up by listening. He gave some of the terms and the guys tried to guess what they meant. He gave things like...
Howard played a clip from a news report where a reporter let out the word ''shit'' when she said she couldn't ''hear shit'' when the reporters went to her. Howard said that someone like that should never use that word no matter what because the FCC is out looking to fine anyone. He said if you have a mic near you, you just don't do that.
Howard had a new phony phone call that Sal did. He said Sal has created this Ghetto Confusion call where he calls a couple of black guys who have the same last name and tells them that if they can prove they're cousins, he'll give them some money from an inheritance. One of the guys started acting like he knew the other guy as soon as he knew there was money involved. The other guy wasn't playing along and wouldn't say that he was his cousin. Then Sal told the guy it was only $4.75 and the guy told him to take that and shove it up his ass. After that call Howard had to take a break before getting to this Schphinctionary game they were going to play.
Howard said that this is a real competition and the guys are really going to have to try and draw things with their asses. Lexi told Howard that she loves anal sex so that led to Howard playing some clips of her movie ''Butt Bitches.'' Howard went on to ask her about the anal sex thing and found out she's stuck cell phones and beer bottles up her ass. She said the cell vibrated in her ass while she was banging this other chick with a strap on. She's also masturbated with a My Favorite Pony doll. She's done a lot of other things like drinking guys urine. She said she even gargles that stuff.
Lexi was saying that some urine tastes better than others. She said vegetarian urine is better than non-vegetarian. She said urine is actually good for you too so that's another reason to do it. She also likes Auto-erotic asphyxiation. She said the key is to not make yourself pass out, you just get light headed and then make the person stop choking you.
Lexi talked about dating black guys and how it usually doesn't work out. She said the guys usually have issues about dating white chicks. Howard asked her about being married and found out that they used to swing and ended up breaking up because she claims he had a coke problem. They used to cut each other during sex and stuff like that. She said that she would actually make him do it to her. Howard said she must be fun in the sack but he would probably cum really fast. He read that she works as an escort. She said she does that but not all that much. Robin asked what she charges. She didn't really say. She said some guys just want to take her out to eat but others want to see what the whole anal thing is all about. She said a lot of the guys are married or divorced.
Lexi didn't lose her virginity until she was 18 years old. She said she was a total geek and a nerd. She had to ask a guy to bang her. Howard told her that she looked very sexy and found out she had natural breasts. Artie was impressed so Lexi asked him if he wanted to touch them. Artie took her up on that offer and felt her up. Howard said they were very perky and asked how she keeps them up like that. She said she does Yoga. She also had a scar on her that she claimed was from cancer that she had removed. She said she had one of her kidney's removed so that's what the scar was.
Howard gave Lexi a couple of plugs for a bunch of web sites like SexAndTheSybian.com, SolowXXX.com and TightFitHD.com. Brian and Kevin were the two guys playing the game today. They were both kind of hefty according to Howard. He had Lexi pose for the guys and asked them what they thought about that. She did that and then asked them if they wanted some titties. Howard had to calm her down a little bit.
Howard asked Kevin, who asked to be called KB instead, why he's a virgin. KB said he did have a girl come on to him when he was high one time but he wasn't able to get it up for her. He said that happened two days in a row with her. He's 24 years old and he's still a virgin. He thinks that he can handle Lexi though. He said that the girl he tried to bang claimed that he had slipped her heroin and injected her even though he had no idea what it was.
Gary came in and said that some of the guys were asking if KB had stuffed his pants with something. He said that he had a big kielbasa in there. Gary said that there was something in there. Howard wanted to get to the game and Lexi said she would like to try drawing as well. Howard moved on to Brian and quickly talked to him about his virginity and then moved on to the game.
Howard said that Robin, Gary, Artie and Fred are all going to be judges in this game. The guys have to draw something on paper with a pen that's stuck in their ass. They have an easel set up that they have to draw on. They're allowed to hold their cheeks with their hands but not the pen directly. They gave KB a word and he had to draw it on the paper. KB had blurted out the word but only Gary heard him say it. Gary was taken out of that judging. Artie was laughing his ass off as KB was drawing the picture. Fred played a bunch of fart sounds as he was drawing too.
Howard asked the guys if they knew what the picture was. Robin thought it looked like a plane dropping a bomb on Iraq. She guessed it was a plane. Gary said it looked like some kind of structure, like a house. Artie said it looked like circus tent. Fred said it looked like a bathtub to him. Will said that Gary got it right when he said it was a house.
Howard had Brian get up next to do his drawing. Brian started drawing with his ass and tried to get close to what he was asked to draw. Howard said this was going to be rough. Robin was laughing when she saw it. Artie said he can't wait to hear that this one was. Robin said it was a golf course. Gary said it was a flying saucer. Artie said it looked like the last shit he took. Then he said it might be a fetus. Artie said it was a penis juggling an olive. Fred said he was going with just a penis. Will told them that it was actually the sun, no one guessed it right.
Howard asked Lexi to go up and try drawing the sun with her ass. He told KB that he had just won so he was happy he didn't have to go through 5 more rounds of that. Lexi got up and said it was kind of tough to get the pen in her ass with no lube. The guys told her she didn't have to insert it, just hold it in her ass. She tried drawing but it didn't come out very well. She let the guys hug her after that.
Brian was a little heart broken that he didn't win. He said he should have been able to draw the Sun, that was something that he's known since 3rd grade. Howard asked Lexi to take a ride on the Sybian while she was there. She said she would do that so they got that ready to go. She said she loves the Sybian so she knew what she was getting into. Gary jacked it up to near full speed right away and she started asking for guys to smack her ass. She wanted to be hit hard and then have it rubbed. Someone was smacking her hard over and over again as she was trying to get off. She finished up after that but Robin said she wasn't buying that she was enjoying it.
Howard gave Lexi some more plugs for her web sites and then wrapped up. KB was very thankful that he had won. Howard went to break a short time later.
Howard said that a lot of people don't know that Bob Levy is going to be the one paying for their gigs. Howard heard that Richard and Sal didn't know if they'd have enough money to fly down there. Artie said that Bob is the guy who handles all of that stuff. Artie is the one who makes the final decision about what to pay the guys though. Artie said that the plane rides are all taken care of so he's not sure what the complaint is. Bob said that they're going to get paid for the tickets no problem.
Artie said that Bob worked out a good deal and it could be very high paying. Bob said this could be really big of them and if you're going to go to a show, this is the one to go to. Bob said he's not doing his blue cheese eating thing. He said he's trying to do some cleaner stuff in his shows these days so he can get on Conan or something.
Bob said that Artie is insane at these comedy shows. Howard said he's heard that Bob has whipped out his drugs and stuff and will even pull out coke and start doing it right in front of everyone. Bob said that sometimes he has to do it to stay up. He said he was doing some shows this weekend and had all kinds of weird shit going on.
Artie said that Levy knows that he doesn't want to get into the coke thing again so he leaves him out of it. There have been times when Bob looks for coke after drinking all night. He said finding the coke is an art form and you have to ask the right person to find it. He said it's also very dangerous but Bob is good at finding that stuff.
Bob said that Artie got really drunk at one gig and told him to keep the $20,000 check he had handed him as long as he could get him one vikodin. Artie said that what had happened there had to do with his heroin addiction at the time. Artie said he had driven down to this Delaware show and he got a cut of $18,000 and he was having these withdrawals from the heroin thing. He told Levy that he wanted him to keep the money and just get him 9 Vikodin so he could get over the withdrawal. Bob, being the good guy he is, gave him the check and another guy went and found some Percocet instead of the Vikodin. He said Florentine gave him a ride home after that. Artie said no one knew about the heroin at the time though.
Artie said Dana eventually found out about the heroin and ''headed for zee hills.'' Artie said the Percocet got him straight but then when he and Florentine were driving home Jim asked him if he wanted to go hang out with Pantera. Artie said he did a shot with Dime Bag Darrell that night and it was 3 nights before he was shot and killed. He said they did a bunch of shots with that guy and then drove home. He said he got home and called his drug dealer who hooked him up with a guy who could hook him up with the heroin.
Artie said that hearing from the drug dealer was more important than hearing from his mother or Dana at the time. He said the guy was about 2 hours late showing up to a Burger King. The guy eventually showed up and sold him enough to keep him going for a little longer. He said it was a Sunday morning when he got it and it lasted him for about 2 days. Howard figured he must be glad he's off of that cycle. Artie said it was like being in a prison because it destroys your life and controls it.
Howard asked Artie if the drugs depleted his bank account. Artie said he probably dropped 35,000 in the 8 months he was on it. It was running him about $250 a day at one point. He said that the stuff he was getting was good so it was a little more expensive. Howard asked Levy if he thinks he's got a problem. Bob said he thinks he's got his shit together. Artie said that Levy is a guy who can stay at home and play with his kid and not need anything. Then he goes out and starts partying and gets a little nuts. Bob said he can shut it down on a Sunday with his kids.
Howard asked Artie if it's tough for him to see Levy doing lines in the back room. Artie said he doesn't have a problem with it. Artie said it might be a little harder to see Bob doing heroin but he thinks he's over that shit at this point. Howard wondered if he feels that the stuff is calling his name. Artie said that he got into that stuff back when he was on the road a lot and taking pills. He said this club owner told him that Vikodin was bad for his liver so he offered to get him some heroin to sniff. Artie said he told the guy that was alright and he knew that it was something he loved. He said he couldn't wait to get the show over with so he could go back and use the stuff.
Artie said that he paid about $100 for enough to last about 3 days. He said it was a great euphoric feeling when he did it. He said that led to him almost catching fire to hotel rooms and stuff. He said he got fined for burning some mattresses. He said that's how he got started with the stuff and that led to his addiction. Howard said that if Levy is doing lines in front of people, that's kind of out of control.
Shuli came in and said that some nights Bob is in such bad shape that he has to ask the audience for blow. He said he actually has to adjust his set list to ask for the blow. Howard said that's a problem if you have to do something like that. Shuli said that Bob keeps saying that he's getting off the cigarettes and booze and then they end up chain smoking and drinking a ton of booze in some tiny green room.
Howard said that it's funny that Richard Jeni shot himself but Bob is still going on with his career even though it's not so great. Bob said he could probably shoot himself in the head and live because there's nothing in his head. Shuli told a story about a show they did where they made this guy puke just by talking to him about gross stuff. Then Bob saw the guy puking and started vomiting himself.
Howard told Artie that it's pretty amazing that he's been able to stay off the heroin and not going to any rehab or anything. Artie said that when you hit bottom like he did, you just don't want to go back to doing that shit again. He said some guys are using that stuff just to stay normal and it turns into something that's not a high. Shuli asked Bob if he could stop drinking and doing the drugs. Bob said he probably should stop the drinking and the drugs. He doesn't do it during the week either. He just does it when he goes to these comedy shows.
Howard asked Bob about this big show down in Lakeland. A little earlier Bob had a problem saying the name of the theater which was something like the George Jenkins Theater in Lakeland, Florida. Bob was talking about some of the guys who were going to be there and Ronnie the Limo Driver may be there. He said he's not going to let him on stage though. Ronnie said he's just going down there to hang out. He said Jason, Jon Hein, Tim Sabean and others are going down there too.
Something was wrong with Ronnie so the guys asked him what was going on. Ronnie was upset about Robin's comments about him on the Bubba Wedding Special on Howard TV. Ronnie said that he's staying quiet from now on. She called him an asshole with no personality.
Howard gave Bob some plugs for his upcoming shows. He mentioned the Lakeland show and another one he's doing the week after at Carolines on Broadway. You can find more of Bob's appearances at RevBobLevy.com
Bob said he's going down to Tampa tomorrow and he's doing Bubba's show but he's kind of scared to go on the show because those guys are into some freaky shit. He said those guys are kind of scary. He said he's like a new kid in school and he feels like he's going to get raped or something. Robin said that Akira has had just about everything done to her but actually killing her. Bob said they should make her fuck him, that would really be the end for her.
Artie said that he has been honest with Howard and has told him that he could leave the show if he gets a good deal but he's always known that. Howard eventually had to bail out on the call because he couldn't take it anymore. The caller didn't seem to believe that Howard's reaction was his real reaction.
Howard took a call from a guy who had seen this movie ''Black Snake Moan'' where Christina Ricci gets naked. Howard said he wanted to watch the movie but he lost the copy that got sent to him by the studio. Gary said that the movie company is mad at Howard for losing that copy. It turns out it's a big deal that he lost it and the movie company isn't happy. Howard is pretty sure it got destroyed when it got mixed up in a pile of magazines. He said he really doesn't care because it was probably a piece of shit anyway. Robin said she saw it and it was actually a good movie.
Howard took some more phone calls and one of them was from a guy who claims he's the guy who wrote the wedding song for him and Beth. Howard said the song wasn't for he and Beth, it was just a love song that he sent in. Howard said the song was a piece of shit song that had nothing to do with him and Beth. Gary told Howard where the song was so Howard played some of ''Forever More.'' He talked it up as if he were Cousin Brucie. Artie said ''what a joke'' as the song was playing. Bob Levy said he could have written a song that bad. Sal then came in and said he wrote a wedding song for him too. Howard played the song which was Howard going off on guys telling them not to get married.
Howard said it's obvious that the caller didn't write that song for him. The caller said that he did write it 15 years ago but he re-did it for Howard. Howard hung up on the guy and said that they got a letter from the guy who wrote ''Under the Boardwalk'' and ''Good Lovin'' and has now written a song about Anna Nicole Smith. Howard said the odd thing is that the Anna Nicole song is awful. He said those other two songs were great but this Anna song he just doesn't get. He played the song and
Steve wrapped up so Howard took a call from a woman who asked Artie if he's ever been to Lakeland, Florida before. Artie has never been there so the woman told him that it's a big drug town and there should be a lot of crank there. Bob said he picked the right town then. Howard took some more phone calls after that. He whipped through a bunch and let some callers talk about a bunch of various things.
One caller brought up the Artie discussion they had earlier. He said that Howard isn't mad at Artie because he was always up front about the deal he made with FOX while someone like Jackie would have held out until the last minute. Howard said he's really not mad at Jackie though.
Howard had Jon Hein come in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He mentioned that they had Beth on the show last Thursday for a full hour so he played some clips from that show. Beth talked about how she never really had the feeling that she wanted to be a mother when she was growing up. She said she still hasn't had that maternal instinct and she's 35 years old. She said that's right now though and she's not sure if that might change in the future. She said she might change in 3 months or 2 years, she's not sure. Howard said Gary told him it's good when he's not there because they can grill her and find out more details without him interrupting.
Bob thinks that Howard is fucked and he's going to end up having a kid. Howard said he's not having any kids and told Bob to go do his drugs. Howard played more from the Wrap Up Show where Gary was asking Beth about when they might get married. Beth doesn't think it's going to be anytime soon. She was saying that their new house is still under construction so she's not sure that they'd be able to do anything before that happens.
Beth also talked about how she ignored Sal when she saw him in the hall there. She wanted to make him feel bad so she just ignored him and didn't give him a hug. Howard had Jon Hein give his Wrap Up Show preview next. Jon ran down the stuff they had coming up today. He ran down a few subjects that they were going to talk about from today's show.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Howard for his opinion on the Anna Nicole Smith death and if he thinks it was a murder. Howard said he really doesn't know that much about Anna Nicole but the caller gave him an ''Oh, come on...'' Howard said he really doesn't think she was murdered but he also doesn't know that much about her. Robin said that there could be some criminality involved in the case even if it wasn't really a murder. Howard said he was confused and didn't have any other information about the case. He bailed out on that call and then went to break.
Howard eventually found the music clips that Robin wanted him to play. That led to the guys talking about these bands and performers from England that seem to be invading the country now. Howard said one of them, Amy Winehouse, was supposed to do the show but she just didn't show up. He said he's kind of glad because he really didn't have much to talk to her about anyway.
Artie said that it just seems like the 1970s was just a better time for music and even things like the original cast of Saturday Night Live and things like that. Howard found some of those Sanjaya clips that he was looking for earlier. He replayed the phony Angelina Jolie clip that he had played earlier in the show. He also played the David Lee Roth and Ozzy Osbourne (both played by Billy Mira) endorsements for the Sanjaya American Idol thing.
Howard had Lexi put KB on the phone. He asked him what his problem was. KB said he got nervous and couldn't get it up for a while. He said the date it over now and he wasn't able to get it up for very long. He said he kind of got it up, but not really. Howard and the guys were goofing on the guy for now being able to get it up. KB said that she tried to give him a hand job but even that didn't work.
Howard asked KB if he played with her titties or anything. He said she didn't take her clothes off so he couldn't. Howard had him put Lexi back on the phone. He asked her why she didn't show any of her skin. She said he saw her on the show naked. Howard asked her if she pulled on his weenie. She claimed she had but he was really nervous. She said she really shouldn't be his first woman. She thinks that he should have someone else who won't scar him. She thinks that he needs a cocktail so they're going to go down to the bar to drink. Howard told her to go ahead and do that then.
Howard let Lexi go and told Gary to make sure they talk to KB tomorrow to find out what happened. He had Robin get back to her news after that. She finished up her news and Howard ended the show around 11:00am.
Howard started off the show talking about how he was driving himself nuts after he got an e-mail yesterday. He stopped himself there and brought up Robin Radzinski whose boyfriend had just died. He wasn't all that old, he was only about 50. Howard said he spoke to Robin Radzinski about it.
Howard got sidetracked and said that the guys on the Wrap Up Show were talking about Robin (Quivers) racing cars. He played a clip where Gary and Jon were talking about how Robin seems to be getting ready to back out of the race against Bubba. Gary said that Robin seems to be admitting that she's not in that class with Bubba now. Howard asked Robin if she is going to go on to race Bubba or not. She said she will absolutely do that and she will not back down from that challenge. She said she's not going to stop after this race.
Robin told Gary that whenever Bob Levy is agreeing with you on something, you should back off. That led to Howard talking about Levy trying to say Shcphinctionary on the Wrap Up Show yesterday was very funny. He played a clip of Bob trying to say the word and he would say ''Swincktionary'' over and over again. Artie was calling Bob a fucking retard after hearing that. Howard said Bob just can't break down words like that. Robin asked Howard if he heard Bob spelling ''arena.'' Howard missed that so he asked the guys to pull that clip.
Howard said the show has one thing that might save it. He said that's Heather Mills. He said she's clearly a nut job and she wants to be famous and loved. She's got one leg and she's going to try and dance. He said he's never seen so many people root against someone with one leg like they are doing for her. He said she must have a despicable personality for people to hate her so much. He said it's horrible to have just one leg but it's very easy to hate her. He said you just want to kick her in her ''vagine'' when you see her.
Howard said that when you see her you want to shake her for what she's doing to Paul McCartney. He said you're watching this show and it makes you wonder why you hate a one legged woman hopping around. He said he's never hated a person with one like in his life, until now. A caller Howard had on the line told Howard earlier that he was a bad influence because he was starting to watch that show himself.
Howard said Ian Ziering is on that show and claiming to be a Broadway actor. He said it looks like Ian got some hair transplants. He also talked about some of the other contestants on the show like Joey Fatone and Clyde Drexler. The caller asked Howard if he would ever try that show. Howard said there's no way he would ever do the show. The caller thinks that he'd look kind of like Clyde Drexler.
Artie found it hard to believe that these guys like Clyde Drexler are doing that show. Howard said he told Beth that this would have been the right season to be on that show. Everyone sucks on that show and she probably could have done very well. He said that he loves that she turns that crap down though. He said she's not that desperate and won't take every single thing that's offered to her. She was even thinking of backing out of The View thing she's doing next week. She's so into this North Shore Animal League thing that she's going to just go on and do it to try and save some animals.
Robin brought up the dog food that's apparently killing dogs and cats. Howard said that he and Beth were using that food for Bianca but it turns out it was just the wet food that was killing them and they were using the dry food. He said he was reading the article where they talked about this food and he wondered what it was that was causing kidney failure. Robin said it was something about the wheat gluten. Jason came in and said that they don't even know exactly what it is that's causing the problem.
Howard read the article to the guys and said that some of the big brands are included in the list of foods that might be causing problems for these pets. The company makes some of the big names like Iams and Eukanuba. Robin said that stuff is supposed to be the higher end of pet food.
Howard talked about how much work Beth does with Bianca and how she even brushes the dog's teeth. Howard said the dog would be a mess if Beth wasn't around. That led to Artie talking about how a guy needs a broad to help out with that stuff because a guy doesn't want to brush a dog's teeth or clean the folds of skin. Howard said he will hold Bianca when they rinse the dog's mouth with an oral rinse. Artie asked if Bianca or Richard Christy has a cleaner mouth. Howard figures it's Bianca.
Howard took another call from a guy who didn't want to admit that he watches Dancing with the Stars but he is watching it. Howard said he thinks that some of those dancers have amazing bodies. He was saying that some of the chicks have awful accents though. He mentioned the Russian broads and how he can hear them asking where the guy's money is.
Howard said that he finally did get to see the pictures and Bubba has his wife kind of naked at first and then he's showing her big ol' titties. He said there's something wrong about some of that stuff. They didn't show any labia in the pictures but Benjy said that they might be able to lighten the pictures up and see something. That led to Howard asking what the labia minora and major are. Robin explained to Howard that women have two sets of labia lips down there. Howard said that must be why it looks like roast beef down there.
Howard read some e-mail about that George Lucas rant from yesterday and some people agreed with him on what he was saying. He read through some of the e-mail and one person thinks that Howard still isn't cured and the show is all about him all the time. Howard said he knows he's not perfect. He got back into the George Lucas thing and said that he really ruined the last 3 Star Wars movies.
The caller on the line told Artie to try and lose some weight. That got Howard reading some e-mail feedback about Artie's weight. There was a lot of feedback about Artie's fat. One guy said that Artie isn't going to get a sitcom looking the way he does these days. Artie said that fat guys have been getting sitcoms forever so that's just not true.
Ralph called in and pointed out that Robin was sitting around goofing on George Lucas just a short time before she went out to California to do the racing with him. They were talking about the goiter looking thing under his neck and how he has that weird, over-manicured beard and things like that. Robin said she was sorry that she even brought him up. Howard talked about that beard and how his neck sticks out like there's some kind of goiter there. Ralph asked her to ask him what's going on there. Robin said she will do that but she was being sarcastic.
Howard said that Ralph hasn't been catching up on Battlestar Galactica like he has. He said he's caught up now but he's been reading how they're thinking of bringing the show to an end after next season. Howard said the show is great so it's a shame that they're going to be ending it. Robin said that you have to look at Lost because they went beyond their vision with that and they kind of ruined it.
Howard asked Eric if he's in with them yet. Eric said ''Nooo!'' and said he's not going to be part of the ridiculous idea. Howard told Eric that he saw he was just voted number 3 on the top midgets of all time. He asked him if he had seen it. Eric gave him another ''Nooo!''
Howard read the list of little people that Eric was on and how even Verne Troyer came in after Eric. Howard had a little description about him where they described Eric as being an ungrateful little person confined to a wheelchair. The guys talked about the number one guy on the list who was the actor who was in the movie ''Willow.'' Howard said that Eric came in at number 3 which is pretty huge. The description talks about how miserable Eric is and how he's part of the Wack Pack. They even say that he might be evil and very angry for a little person. They also bring up the recent hit that Eric wanted to take out on someone who had bad mouthed him on Stern's show. They even listed his comments of ''You know what to do... You know what to do... just find him.'' that he said to Johnny Fratto.
The guys asked Eric if he was impressed over that. Eric didn't seem to be impressed at all. That led to Fred playing the clip of Eric telling Johnny to find that guy who bad mouthed him on the show. Robin asked Eric if he had an acceptance speech ready. Eric was full of ''No'' this morning and gave her one for that question. Howard had a promo that the guys put together congratulating Eric on the number 3 thing. Howard asked Eric what he thought about that. Eric wasn't honored at all and said that they have to stop using the term ''midget.''
The phone was kind of muffled so Ralph was laughing thinking about how he must have been holding the phone. Howard told Eric that he's going to be the only one not involved with the Sanjaya thing. Eric said he was busy voting for Heather Mills to stay on Dancing with the Stars last night. Howard said he doesn't care, he wants her to stay on that show so his plan has just backfired.
Howard talked about Heather Mills and how much you have to hate her even though she's missing a leg. He said you want to see her fall when you watch her dance. He said that they never mentioned that she was with Paul McCartney. He said they should really just put under her name ''Cunt'' instead of whatever it is that's under there.
Howard told Eric that his little plan had just backfired on him. Eric said he was trying to get a lot of people to vote for her but some refused to do it. Howard told Eric that he wanted her on the show and his plan wasn't working. Eric said that he's not going to vote for her next week then. Ralph told Howard to tell Eric he did want Sanjaya voted off and maybe Eric would change his tune then. Eric said he won't fall for that, just like he didn't fall for the Fake Arnold thing yesterday.
Eric said that he wants them to change the rules on the show and just get rid of this Sanjaya kid. Howard said they have to stick to the rules, they can't just not pay attention to them all of a sudden. Eric thinks that in this case they should make an exception. Eric said that Sanjaya is like a mix of William Hung and Clay Aiken because he can't sing and he's gay just like Clay. The guys said they don't really have proof that Clay is gay though. Howard told Eric that he's going to be wrong again on this one.
Howard played an Eric the Midget prank call the guys made using some audio clips of his voice. The guys asked Eric why he was so angry in that call so Eric reminded them that it was Sal and Richard who made the call. Howard wrapped up with Eric after that and asked if he'd be willing to reconsider voting for Sanjaya. Eric said he won't vote for him even if he makes it to the final 2. Ralph asked him how many times he's going to vote against him tonight. Eric said he's going to be voting as much as possible during that 2 hour vote window. Howard said his fingers will probably bleed from dialing so much.
Ralph said he's going to be voting for Sanjaya while Eric is voting for Lakisha. Fred played some Dueling Banjos music in the background as Howard and Eric were going back and forth on the Sanjaya thing. Eric asked Howard if they were going to play that game they brought up the other day. Howard asked Gary what was going on with that. If Eric lost the game, he'd have to vote for Sanjaya. They didn't have the game ready today so Howard was going to let Eric go. Eric told Howard that Sanjaya was the ''Wrong choice.'' Howard let him go a short time later and gave him a ''Bye for now...'' Eric just said ''Bye.''
Howard said that he was going to get on the phone and yell at that chick. He said that she drinks urine but wouldn't have sex with this guy who won. He said she could have taken off her clothes and maybe rub his dick a little bit. She wouldn't even do that. Kevin said he asked her to jerk him off or something but she wouldn't even touch him. He said he went into the bathroom and when he came out she just wanted to drink some beer. He's been sober for a while and she was trying to get him to drink. He did end up drinking a beer even though he had been sober for so long. He was all stressed out over the whole thing.
Howard said that this chick was a phony and she used them for the plugs. They were being nice to her because she was offering herself up as the prize in that contest. Howard said she wouldn't even get naked in front of the guy. She wouldn't even let him lay on the bed in the room they were in according to Kevin. Howard said that she was no beauty queen either. He said the fans were writing in and saying that they weren't surprised that Kevin couldn't get it up for her because she wasn't so good looking. Howard said she did have a good body though.
Howard read some mail about the chick and a lot of people were saying she was ugly. He said he doesn't think that she's ugly, she did have a great body. He played some of her porn movie clips where she gets really dirty and he figured she was the right one for the job. Now he's encouraging the fans not to buy her movies.
Artie told the guy to come to the show at the Borgata and he'll help get him laid. Kevin told Howard that she wanted him to lie and tell them that they had done it. He said he couldn't lie to Howard so he didn't lie for her like she wanted. Howard said she was supposed to call in but she wasn't around.
Kevin told the guys about the crazy stuff he used to do when he was younger. He said he used to smoke PCP and stuff like that. Howard said he knows that stuff can be dangerous and you do all kinds of crazy shit when you use that stuff. Artie said that the stuff is crazy, he knew people who smoked that stuff all the time. He never did it himself though.
Artie told Kevin to come down to the Borgata and he'll do what he can to get him laid. He said if they have to pay for it by the end of the night, the money will come out of his pocket. Howard said that they should have this dude at his bachelor party if they ever do have one. Artie said that if they have to get a whore down there, he'll do that. Kevin said he's got a couple of felonies and he won't be doing anything illegal down there.
Kevin was saying that the people on SternFanNetwork.com were being very nice to him yesterday. He was surprised by that. Howard said they might have to use Kevin for some other things on the show. Howard let him go a short time later.
Artie said that he wears a size 42 but he doesn't pull them up all the way. They're under his gut. Joey said he's about the same size at this point. Howard said Artie revealed that when he cums the goo collects under the folds of skin. Joey said that he can't cum because he's gotten so fat. He said he went to the doctor and found out that he's low on testosterone. Howard told him it's because he's fat and on drugs. That's what he has to fix before he starts injecting himself with testosterone. Joey said that he has no energy and he can't lose weight.
Howard told Joey that if he just tried to get into shape, he'd start feeling better. Joey said that this is a quicker fix to everything. Gary asked Joey if he told the doctor what was going on in his life. Gary said a lot of people are worried about him because of what he's been doing. Joey said he was on the coke but he's off that now. He didn't want to talk about how he was getting money to pay for it. He said he had to do what he had to do to get it. He wouldn't say what that was though. He didn't want to incriminate himself. That stuff makes you do stuff you wouldn't normally do.
Howard told Joey to get a job. Joey said he has a job and he'll be driving limos and town cars for a car service. He's also doing some video stuff for the guys down in Tampa this weekend. He said he will never get trashed in public and screw that up, he only gets trashed at home.
Jason said that Joey has a distended belly button and he saw a picture of that. Howard said that's why Joey can't get it up and that's why he's all depressed. Howard said that when you can't cum, that should make him realize what a mess he is and it should turn him around and make him want to lose some weight. Howard told Joey he knows he's over 300 pounds and he hopes he'll straighten up. He let him go a short time later. He had to go to break after that.
Gary said he wasn't smelling his fingers, he may have been rubbing his face but he wasn't smelling them. Howard said that's what it looked like to him so that's what he imagined him doing. Howard said he has to eat really quick on the show and Gary will come in and hock up his phlegm and stuff while he's trying to do it. He said he just did it the other day.
Gary came into the studio so Howard told him that there's just something about him that really bothers him. Wolfie asked Gary about the appearances he's been making lately and wondered if he would appear at a party he was planning for this summer. Gary told him it would cost him $10,000. He said he really doesn't want to do those appearances anymore. He said he did a thing for Steven Singer Jewelers because he's been with the show for a long time. He doesn't really want to go to a guy's house and hang out so he'd charge him the ten grand. Wolfie wanted to have him dressed up in a monkey outfit and handing out gifts and stuff.
Wolfie said that he would also like to have him in a dunk booth. Gary said he might do that. He's not sure he'd want to let them throw pies at his face like Wolfie was suggesting. Wolfie didn't seem to have a problem with the money part of the deal and said he'd like to call Gary and arrange something like that.
Wolfie asked Howard about Chris Rock's failed movie and what he thinks about that. Howard said he loves Chris and didn't want to bad mouth him. He and the guys talked about how maybe he should stay away from movies. Howard said if Chris came to him in a serious way and asked him what to do in the movies, he would tell him exactly what he thinks he should do. Howard said that right now there are about 10 shows on TV where they've lifted ideas right from his show and turned them into shows. He mentioned Street Smarts which was the homeless game, they have a 5th grader vs. an adult TV show and a bunch of stuff like that which they've been doing on his show for years. He said he knows what would be best for Chris Rock and he could probably guide him in the right direction.
Howard and the guys talked about the stuff that Chris has done and how he should stick to the stuff he does best. Chris is good at being outrageous and that's what he should stick to. He thinks that Chris shouldn't be trying to play the leading man in a movie like his latest one. Artie said he's heard Chris say that he doesn't want to get stuck in some routine in his career. Howard said he doesn't like being stuck in a routine either but he's good at what he does so he sticks to it. Howard said that Chris is probably the best stand-up comedian out there and there's no better than his album ''Bring The Pain.''
Howard said that this guy who played Napoleon Dynamite is an asshole. He said he wants to shake the motherfucker when he sees him trying to act. He said that guy should play Napoleon Dynamite in every single movie he makes. He said he'd be one of the biggest performers of all time if he did that. He said even if he was in a Holocaust movie he should play the part as that character. He said there's no shame in that.
Howard said if he were that guy, he would never come out of that character. He said Jim Carrey is like that too, he shouldn't be trying to be a dramatic actor. He should be grabbing his ass and talking with it. The guys talked about some of the other projects that Chris has been in lately and how they just aren't working for him.
Howard said he's the smartest man in show business and these people should realize it by now. He said Chris should be coming to him to get some advice but Artie said Chris has already made it, he doesn't need that advice. Howard said that movies are a different business than stand-up though. He had to move on after that.
Howard didn't seem to care about the story. Will said Steve shouldn't be researching the story because it's a gossip story, not a news story. Howard cut them all off and said he really doesn't care about any of that. Lisa got back to her rundown and said they have a story about Artie and his love of the vending machine. He's been leaving change behind in the machine so other people are collecting it and buying stuff with the change. Artie said he thought everything was a buck so he didn't even know there was change. Lisa thought that was funny and asked him why he doesn't hear the change dropping. Artie didn't know.
Lisa said that Tabitha Stevens has gotten married for the fourth time. Howard said he heard that and she told him that she tossed the guy's salad on the wedding night. Robin said she heard about it as well and heard that he's a porn director or something. Howard let Lisa go a short time later.
Artie said that he'd like to know who it was that was taking his money from the vending machine. Gary said he did it once but he wasn't following him around. Then Gary heard that there was an engineering guy who was following Artie around waiting for that change.
Howard said Will was out in the hall yelling at Steve Langford. Will came back in the studio and said that Steve won't listen to him and it's really obnoxious because once his mind is made up, he won't listen. He said that Steve shouldn't be making those decisions on the gossip stories. Robin said that is kind of true because Steve is reporting facts while Will and Jason are doing gossip.
Dave said that this week is going to be tough because it's going to be the top 10 after this week. He said he'd like to see him win but it's really going to be tough. Robin asked if they think that they ever cook the books over there at American Idol and they might just boot him off. Howard said he actually got a note from someone who told him that the call results are used as a base line for the show outcome and it's not really the viewers who are picking the people who move on. Howard said that really shocks him because he thought that they were using the votes they get from those calls.
Howard asked Dave if he thinks that the producers could do that to him this year and boot Sanjaya off. Dave said he's been getting hundreds of e-mails from people who are backing them and they really are pushing to keep this guy on the show. Howard said he knows of a person who said that they can monitor phone traffic and they said that Sanjaya was getting a ton of traffic, probably in the top 3 of the most votes, but he was shown in the bottom 3. Howard said he's going to demand that someone address the vote fixing if that's actually what's going on.
Howard went on to ask Dave about how he got the site started and found out that he was 21 years old and in college at the time. Dave said they tried it with other shows but it wasn't as much fun as it was with American Idol. Howard had Eric the Midget on the phone to talk to Dave. Eric asked Dave why he's so set on ruining Idol. Dave said they're not trying to ruin it, they're just having fun with the show and making it more entertaining for them. Howard said it was making it fun for him as well. Howard asked Eric if he had anything else to say. Eric said it looked like Sanjaya even wanted to be voted off the show last week. Dave thinks that they're just helping Sanjaya to realize his dream.
Howard asked Dave if he's got a girlfriend. Dave said he's actually gay. Eric said that must be why he likes Sanjaya. Dave said that has nothing to do with it. Howard asked Dave if he makes good money with the web site. Dave told Howard that the web site actually costs a lot to run and all of the money he makes goes back into it.
Howard asked Dave more about his boyfriend and found out that they're not having sex. Howard asked if they're at least blowing each other. Dave said they are doing that but not anal. He said he would give that up if he married this guy. They just started dating according to Dave. They've only been going out for 3 months now. Howard said he's shocked that he's not doing that. Dave said he has done anal with other guys though. Howard wondered if he wasn't sure if he was the right one or something. Dave wasn't sure. Howard said the best part of being gay is that you just do it because you both know you want it.
Artie said that maybe this guy isn't gay and maybe he should try having sex with a chick. Dave hadn't tried that yet so Artie told him to just give it a try and see what it's like. Dave said he's never even come close to having sex with a girl. Howard wondered if Dave is the one who is more like the girl in the relationship. He said he is kind of that way. Artie wasn't surprised that the leader of this vote for Sanjaya thing was gay.
Howard said he's with this Dave guy and he will be voting for the worst tonight. He asked Eric to join the fun but Eric said he's not going to do it. He's going to be voting for Lakisha. Dave said that they need his votes for Sanjaya and he's friends with Lakisha so he really needs to help out Sanjaya. Eric wasn't falling for that. Howard wrapped up with the two of them a short time later and let them go. Fred was playing Eric the Midget's new theme music as he got off the phone. Howard said a lot of people really like that new music.
Howard mentioned that they have Gene Simmons and his wife Shannon Tweed coming in later this week. He wondered if they should have Craig Gass in to do his impression of Gene the whole time. Artie did a little bit of his own Gene Simmons impression but it sounded a lot like his Rush Limbaugh impression. Howard told him he should do that Rush thing more on the show.
Howard also mentioned that Sal's wife is going to be in to shoot paintballs at Sal's ass this week. He said those things are really hard and should be pretty painful for Sal.
Howard read a story about a woman who came out of a coma after being in it for quite some time. Then she fell right back into the coma after seeing her family for a short time. He spent a minute on that and then went to commercial break.
Howard said that cable TV was like that and he was watching a lot of cable TV yesterday. He talked about some of the music channels there at SIRIUS and how he was listening to the Super Shuffle channel there and thought it was very good.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Howard about an Extra TV show segment that Beth did recently. Howard said Beth has some weird feelings about doing some of those interviews. The caller asked Howard if he's going to go in raw when he and Beth finally get married. Howard said he doesn't plan on doing that but the caller said that the pussy juice just makes it so good. Howard said he's going to continue to wear rubbers because he doesn't want another kid.
Howard played some other songs and there was one that sounded a lot like Stairway to Heaven. They played Prince's song ''1999'' and Phil Collins' ''Susudio'' which was similar. Gary told Howard the tracks to play off the CD they had put together. One of the comparisons was Boston's ''More than a Feeling'' and Nirvana's ''Smells like Teen Spirit.'' The guys didn't think they were even close.
Howard went through a couple of other examples that Gary and Jon Hein had pulled for the CD. Some of them were close, some not so much. Vinnie Favale called in and told Howard about another song that there was just a lawsuit over. He told Fred which songs to pull and said he'd love to hear this stuff all day long. Fred said that belongs on the Who Gives a Shit Channel. Fred found the songs Vinnie told him about and compared them. Howard went through one more before moving on to Ant. They compared a Beatles song and a Rod Stewart song that were very similar.
Sal came in and told Howard to compare some songs. He had pulled a KISS song and a Buck Cherry song that weren't really all that similar.
Howard asked Ant about this boob reduction he had. Ant told Howard about how he was a C-cup when he was thin and he just couldn't get rid of the boobs. He said he had the reduction done and they came out nicely. Howard said there was no scarring that he could see. Ant said he no longer has tits thanks to that.
Howard said Ant has also straightened his hair or something. He also said he had to have something done to his face as well. Ant said he did have a brow lift. Howard said he looks like an Indian now. Howard told him he does look good for his age. Ant is 45 and Howard figured he was in his 30s.
Ant asked Howard what's going on with this engagement thing because he once said that he wasn't going to get married until the gays could get married. Howard said he's not married yet. He could still wait until that happens. Howard said he really does believe that gays should be allowed to get married. He also said he might want to hold off until then. He asked not to be held to that standard. Ant said it makes him feel bad and he's upset about the engagement. Howard said he doesn't think in this country they'll ever let gays get married. He said the people in this country are very backwards thinking.
Howard took a call from a guy who told Ant to come out and take that wig off his head. Howard asked him to pull his hair back. Ant tugged on it and it didn't move. Howard said he thinks it might be his real hair. Robin said Ant looked at her and he looked like he had seen a ghost. Ant told Howard more about the stuff he had done to his face and said he had a little eye lift and a little nose shaving and a chin thing. He's been dieting on Nutri-System lately and they said that they'd hook Artie up with the program. Howard said that Tim Sabean was on the Zone Diet but it wasn't enough food for him so he was doubling up the amount he was eating. That's what would happen to Artie if he was on Nutri-System.
Howard asked ant about this Celebrity Fit Club 5 he's doing. Ant said that they have Dustin Diamond on the show and he was saying that he's going to have his penis molded. He also told Howard about the show and how much everyone hated him on the show. He said that Dustin was dropping Howard's name like they were best friends or something. Howard said the guy has only been on the show two times. He knows nothing about that guy's latest venture in this penis molding thing.
Ant said that Maureen McCormick is on the latest season as well. He said that Tiffany was on as well and she did very well. The guys talked about them and also about Erica Elaniak when Robin brought her up. She had gotten pretty big according to Ant. She gained like 175 pounds. Kelly Lebrock was also on the show and she no longer cares about her looks but her kids wanted her to be healthy so she did the show.
Howard read that Ant had met with Paris Hilton's parents so he wondered what was going on there. Ant said he can't talk about what the meeting was about. He had to sign an agreement to meet with them so he can't talk about what that was. He can talk about them though. He refused to say what it involved other than saying that it was a good idea that they had for him.
Howard asked Ant about his sex life and found out he just got blown the other day. He was telling Howard about the guy and mentioned his first name. Howard actually dumped out of that and said the guy might not want his name out there. Ant said that name is very popular from where he's from so no one will know who it was.
Ant was talking about George Takei's boyfriend brad and how he dotes over George so much. He said it's very odd to see Brad waiting on George when you expect to see the Asian serving the white guy. He was joking around about that a little bit.
Howard had Artie and Benjy show off their man-tits since they were on that subject earlier. Howard told Ant about Artie gaining weight in this Battle of the Blobs contest they have going on. Ant knew about that. Howard had Benjy show his man-tits and Ant noticed that he had tits on the side as well. Benjy didn't see what they were talking about but the rest of the guys noticed it.
Howard took some phone calls and one guy went off on Ant. Ant knew that it was this guy Rich who had been rejected from the show one time. The guy said he wasn't Rich Vos if that's who he was thinking of. The caller called Ant a fag and a couple of other things before he got off the phone.
Sour Shoes called in and did an impression of Ant for a few seconds. He mentioned Scott DePace's name so Scott came in and talked to Ant about the whole gay thing since he's so against it. Scott insists that he would never exclude his son from anything if he came out as gay. Scott asked Howard if he would love his son as much if he turned out gay. Howard said he has nothing against that and wouldn't have a problem with it. He thinks that Scott is the problem, not the gay thing.
Scott said that he's entitled to his opinion. Ant said he's welcome's his opinion. That led to the guys talking about sucking dicks and wether or not they'd be able to do it. Howard said he doesn't think he could ever do it. Gary said he had a gay brother and the gay thing doesn't bother him. He asked Scott if he would let his son spend the night with a gay lover if he did turn out to be gay. Scott said he wouldn't let them sleep in the same room if they weren't married. Howard asked Scott what he would do if his son brought Ant home. Scott said it would really suck if he had a gay boyfriend who was ''that gay.'' Howard let Scott go a short time later.
Howard took a call from this guy R.J. who was saying that he knows Dice Clay and went into a story about meeting him out in Vegas. He said he ended up buying Dice a Cadillac Escalade while he was out there and he got set up by Dice months later. He said he got some calls from Dice's people who told him that dice had lost $120,000 and needed some help. R.J. Said he lost $2 million trying to help Dice out and now Dice won't even call him back. Howard asked the guy about the gambling he did and if he was doing it with his own money or with Dice's money. R.J. Said that it was his money and he was looking to get to open up for Dice. R.J. Said he knows he made a mistake. Howard had to move on after that because the guy was giving him a headache.
Ant said he knows who that guy is and he was told by Peter Engle that he was a great gambler but now that he's heard that he lost $2 million of his own money, he's not so sure he'd want to put up his own money to try and win. Artie said it's still gambling. He also said that he spoke to the guy for 2 hours one time but he's not sure if his stories are true or not. He said it would have been nice if they had Dice on the phone at the same time. Howard wrapped up the interview a short time later and gave Ant some plugs for his show. They went to break right after that.
Howard got in a plug for the Battle of the Blobs sponsor Cylaris. Howard said he hopes that they don't come out with some killer disease that's got a similar name like AIDS and Ayds weight loss.
Howard said he was thinking about the old Flintstones cartoons and how big they were back in the day. They had a lot of famous celebrities doing appearances on the show back when it was a big hit. Howard said he thought that Wilma was kind of hot. He said that the show was basically just the Honeymooners in a cartoon form.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked if he had seen pictures of Jenna Jameson lately. She's gotten very thin. Howard said he did see a picture of her and she might be a little too thin. JD came in and said that he saw her at the AVN awards and she did look very thin. He said he could see her backbone because she was so thin. He didn't think she looked so good that day either. He thinks she had some work done on her face.
Howard talked about one time that Gary came to him while he was getting a lap dance and told him that they had a party bus to ride in. They were in Vegas at the time so Gary thought it was going to be a lot of fun but then it turned out to be just Gary, Artie, Ross and Randy Gerber just riding around in the bus. Gary said it was actually Joe Rogan who was also in the bus. Howard wondered why Gary would do that to him. Gary said that on paper it seemed like a great idea. It didn't turn out that way though.
Fred played some Baba Booey song parodies as Gary was freaking out on Howard. Artie laughed and said that was his favorite Baba Booey song. It was to the tune of a Led Zeppelin song ''Babe I'm Gonna Leave You.'' Fred started laughing as the song was coming to an end. So did Howard. Howard said Sal was out in the hall dancing around like Gary with a Gary mask on his face. Gary said he told Sal that it's a good thing he has that because his bits aren't funny and he walked away all dejected.
Steve got back to his report and said that they have some audio of Riley and Tim's negotiations which let to Howard getting pissed off again because they didn't give him the tape. Tim said he gave the tape to Scott the Engineer this morning. Howard flipped out on Scott but Scott put the blame on Jason who had given him the tape. Jason then came in and said he didn't tell him to get to it when he's ready. He said he gave him the tape early today and expected that he'd have it done. Jason apologized but Scott just said he thought they didn't need it right away.
Howard asked Jason why he didn't contact Gary about this. He told Gary to get these guys in line or just start firing some of them. Gary said that Jason, who is a very hard worker, tried to make something happen and it didn't work. Howard went off on Gary and anyone else that was within firing range and yelled at them. Jason took the blame for screwing up and not following up on Scott. Howard told him the tape should have gone to Sal and Richard who would have had that tape done within 5 minutes. He said if Scott knew he should have had it quickly, he probably would have had it done.
Howard said he owed Scott an apology. He said that Gary is there to make stuff like that happen and Jason should have given it to him. Howard said it's not Scott's fault, he's not mad at him. He said Scott is not to blame, Gary is the one who should have gotten the tape. Jason said he won't skip that step again when he gets a tape.
Howard thinks that the guys are dieting too much and their brains are cooking. He asked if he was overreacting to that. He didn't know what else he was supposed to do. Robin said that it seems that Howard does have to go off on them once in a while to keep them straight. They have a system set up and sometimes they let stuff fall through the cracks like this did.
Howard told Gary to get on his game and make things happen. Fred played another Baba Booey song parody after that little bit of yelling. The guys watched as Sal was dancing around behind Gary out in the hall again. Howard told Gary to sit down with Jason and Will about how to get this straightened out. The two of them went back and forth for a few seconds before Howard got back to Steve.
Steve said that they will have some of that negotiation tape on Howard 100 News if they don't hear it on Howard's show today. Steve said Riley is asking for $20,000 per show and $10,000 for his co-host. Howard heard that and said he was ready to go home after hearing that. Steve said they have a story about High Pitch Eric who has been calling a woman incessantly complaining that she has a boyfriend.
Howard interrupted Steve and played some audio clips of Riley from last week's show where he went off on the people at SIRIUS for not paying him what he wants to keep him around. Riley said he will leave if they don't come up with the money. Howard said he's pretty sure that Riley will melt down on the show tonight. He said if he doesn't, people should call in and try to get him riled up.
Howard went off on Gary again when he came in with the Riley clips. Howard said he didn't want to go to 2 o'clock today with the show. He said he should have had them at 6 this morning, not at 10:10. Gary was yelling at Howard so Howard told him not to yell at him. He wondered if he was asking for too much. Robin said this is a simple request and he wasn't asking for anything outrageous. Everything should be going through Gary according to Robin. Gary told Howard that he was wasting more time going off on him when he could be playing the tape. Howard told him not to tell him what he's doing wrong.
Steve told Howard that they'll have a report about Robin's race car driving practice. Howard was still pissed and couldn't even pay attention to what was going on. He had Jon Hein give his show rundown after that. Jon went over the subjects they'd be covering on today's Wrap Up Show.
Howard said that if he starts playing that Riley Martin tape now, Jon Hein might get his show on by 3 this afternoon. Robin asked if they could do it during the news since she was starting that. Howard said they might be able to do that. Robin started off her news talking about the Riley story so Howard could start playing the tapes.
Howard didn't want to hear from Gary about where the clips were so Gary told Robin where it was. Howard played the audio where Tim Sabean and Riley started to negotiate to keep Riley around. Riley was at about $5 million and Tim was at $300 a week. They had to figure out something in between. Riley said that he will deliver if they keep him on there.
Tim was trying to deal with Riley in the clip but Riley was cursing him out. Tim told Riley that giving him a raise to $400 per show would mean he's getting over $6 per minute which is pretty good pay. Riley said he can't live in New Jersey on that kind of money. He told Tim that he could probably protect Tim from demons with his symbols but he can not protect him from himself.
Howard said that $400 for an hour is a lot of money. No one else is offering him that kind of money. He got back to the recording where Riley and Tim went back and forth on the money issue. Riley then demanded $20,000 per show for himself and $10,000 for his co-host. Tim said he couldn't do that, it was out of his league. Riley said that he's not just a man, he's a phenomenon and explained to Tim why they should pay him that kind of money. He said if they can't pay him, they can get that woman who fucks horses to take over for him. Riley told Tim that maybe they will meet again somewhere in the future.
Tim told Riley that if he has a change of heart he could call him back. Riley said he wasn't having a change of heart, but if they have a change of heart, they can call him. Howard said he would pay a woman who fucks a horse $20,000 per show if they could find someone like that. He wondered what the odds were that Riley would be back. Artie said he thinks he'll be back. Fred said the same thing and thinks that he'll take a hiatus of 3 weeks. Howard and Robin also think there's a good chance that he'll be back.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks that the old Howard is back after hearing him yelling at Gary. Howard said he feels bad though and now his day is ruined. He said he gets really frustrated sometimes and he's relying on a lot of people to let him know when stuff is coming in.
Another caller told Howard she thought it was great that he wasn't yelling at people and thought that he was going to be like that even after his engagement. They he gets engaged and starts yelling again. Another guy said that this was old school Howard and the honeymoon is over for the toothy bastard (Gary). Howard said he had to take a break after that because the tape had come in so late.
Howard had Robin get back into her news after the commercial break. Howard also took some phone calls and read through some e-mail during the news. Artie got some feedback about his Jimmy Kimmel appearance last Friday night. Artie was in the middle of eating French toast while Howard read that to him. Someone had suggested that he wear something nicer when he does shows like that. Artie, with his mouth full of food, said that he's going to have to lose some weight first.
Robin wrapped up her news and Howard started to end the show around 11:05am. Then he apologized to Gary, Will and Jason for going off on them earlier. He said he was sorry for making it so personal and asked people not to e-mail him about that telling him what an asshole he is. Fred told him it was too late and read off some of the feedback they were getting already. Howard called Gary, Will and Jason into the studio and apologized to them. He told Jason he didn't want him going on anymore anti-depressants. Jason apologized to Howard for messing up. Howard said he was going to edit that rant out of the show for the replays. Gary told him not to do that and assured Howard that the incident doesn't show how the office usually runs. He assured him of that.
Howard said they'll have that meltdown on Howard TV tomorrow night. He was hoping that he had worn his sunglasses during that segment. He did a couple more plugs and commercials and ended things around 11:10am.
Howard started off the show saying that he was up late last night voting for Sanjaya. He was up past 10 just to wait for the start of the voting. Robin said it doesn't work for her because it is so late. Howard said he thinks that Sanjaya is going to be gone this week and he thinks that's the case because he was able to get through so easily. He got through about 10 times and got in his vote. He was giggling in bed as he was voting because it was so fun.
Howard said he did have some feelings of guilt because some of those people are such good singers and they're trying to get a career going. He did vote and did his duty. He thinks that people didn't follow through and didn't vote like he did. He had a caller on the line who said he voted about 75 times.
Howard said the best guy on that show is the beat box kid. He also said the hottest chick is Sanjaya's sister. He said he saw her sitting in the audience and she's very hot and she's apparently a Hooters waitress. Mike Gange came in and said that she's got a little bit of a forehead though. Howard pointed out that Gange has quite a forehead on him too. Gange also said he feels that those votes aren't being counted for Sanjaya. His calls would get picked up on the first ring. He got the feeling that the votes weren't going through at all. Robin said someone should investigate their voting.
Eric the Midget was on the phone and said that he voted for Lakisha. Howard didn't think that she was all that good last night. He said she looks all fat and kind of like Aretha Franklin. He said she doesn't have a good look and no one wants to see that. Gary asked Eric if he sent an e-mail to Ryan Seacrest warning him about the conspiracy. Eric said he did. Howard asked him if he had a copy of the e-mail. Eric said he didn't have a copy but Howard told him to log on to AOL and let him know what it said. Eric refused to log on to AOL to get it.
Eric said he told Ryan that Howard and that web site are trying to ruin the show. Howard said he snitched on him and tried to foil his plan. Eric admitted that's what he did. Artie said that might get Howard kicked out of show business. Gary also said that he heard that Eric was also afraid of losing his 'Eric the Idol Expert' title because he hasn't been making his picks very well lately.
Howard asked Eric how many times he voted. Eric said he voted as many as he could. He got through a bunch of times and said it was a 50/50 chance of getting through each time he called. Howard asked Fred if he voted like the rest of the guys. Fred did make a couple. Robin and Artie didn't get in on that.
Howard asked Eric if he wet the bed last night. Eric said he hasn't even gotten to sleep yet. He's been up all night. Howard played a bit that Sal made about the wetting the bed thing and then went off on Eric for being an ingrate to the show. He said he's the only one who puts him on the air and the guy goes and snitches on him. He said they're his real friends and he screws them over.
Eric said that he was looking at it as if they were trying to ruin Idol and he was trying to save Ryan's job. Howard said Eric is just a snitch. Eric said that Ryan doesn't refer to him as a midget like Howard does. He said Ryan talked to him on his TV show and on his radio show and doesn't call him a Midget. Robin also said that they gave Eric SIRIUS. Gary said he was getting mad after he heard that.
Gary said Eric has been giving them a hard time about this Wrestling thing they want to do with him where he'd have to vote for Sanjaya if he loses a contest. He said Eric was asking them what was in it for him and he wanted a list of demands. Gary asked Eric what he wants if he wins. Eric said he doesn't think he wants to go with this right now. He didn't want to talk about it on the air because he felt like they were setting him up or something.
Howard took a couple of phone calls and some people were saying that Eric should be kept off the show because of this stuff. One guy said that without them Eric would be sitting in a pool of piss. People are pissed that he's screwing over the show the way he is. Some people were saying that they were calling in and voting a lot last night for Sanjaya. One guy said he got through about 200 times. Eric said Sanjaya is going home, he's not going to win. Howard took another call from a guy who said he wasn't able to get through at all. He tried for an hour and didn't get one vote. He was out on the west coast and wasn't able to get in any votes and figured they may have been blocking calls out on the West coast.
Howard said Sanjaya was really awful last night during the 60s theme show. He asked Gary for some clips so he could play some examples. Robin said they're going to make a star out of that kid even if he doesn't stay on. She said they have to have Howard create his own record label to put him on if they have to. Howard played Sanjaya's performance from last night and he said it really wasn't all that terrible. He listened to a few seconds of it and Gary said that it was good enough to keep him another week. Howard was also saying that there was one hot chick on there who was in hot pants. Gary said he and the guys were also talking about her. Howard asked Eric why he didn't vote for her. Eric didn't answer.
Howard took another call from a guy who brought up some of the other people on the show. They talked about one of the girls on the show who looks kind of like Shrek according to some people. Howard said that chick has a phony humble thing going on that pisses him off. The caller also talked about how hot Sanjaya's sister is. Howard said they might have to link to her picture on the internet so they can check it out.
Howard said he was all stressed out yesterday and it sent him over the edge. Fred played that clip of Gary singing ''Fly Like an Eagle'' and tried to cheer Howard up with that. It was a Karaoke thing that they had done one time and Gary sounded awful singing the song. Robin called Gary ''Baba-Jaya'' when she heard that performance. Gary asked to hear some of Robin and Howard's karaoke performances. Fred played Howard singing ''Blackbird'' but Howard thought he was good in that.
Fred also played Robin's performance of ''If It Makes You Happy.'' Robin said they play her stuff all the time. Fred played some cat screeching sounds during that performance. Howard said he didn't think she was all that bad but Eric the Midget said even Sanjaya could beat her. Howard wanted to have Eric sing for them but he wanted to make a deal where they'd vote Sanjaya out next week. He said he'd sing if they agreed to that. Artie said the deal was that Eric would sing and they'd tell him how bad he sucks.
Howard took another call from a guy who said he voted for Sanjaya a bunch of times yesterday. Howard said he really thinks that this guy has to stick around another week with the number of votes he's getting. The caller also brought up Riley Martin who had his last show last night. Howard said he'd be playing clips of that later today.
Another caller said that he felt bad voting for Sanjaya last night because he feels he's screwing over the people who have talent. Then he figured ''fuck 'em'' and started voting. Howard said he felt the same way and had some fun with the voting. Howard said it's like they're making the dork the homecoming king. The caller was also asking about the weird bald guy on American Idol. Howard said he looks like that Powder guy from that movie.
Howard said he was watching the Paris Hilton videos again and said she was doing this thing where she puts the guy's dick between her tits when she's blowing them. He said it's so sexy and she looks like a good girl when she does that stuff. It looks like she's really into the guy's shween. Artie said the more he hates her, the more he wants to fuck her for some reason.
Howard asked Eric if he would want a blow job from Paris Hilton. Eric paused for a second and said ''yeah.'' Howard said if Eric had said no he would have hung up on him.
The caller was telling Howard that he thinks Beth is going to want kids and he's going to get stuck with that. Howard said she really doesn't want that at this point. Robin never wanted kids either. Fred said that his wife was that way until she turned 35, then she wanted a kid. Now they have a daughter. Howard said he really doesn't want to go backwards in his life and having kids would be going backwards. He said Beth agrees with him about not having kids right now. She may change but right now she doesn't want any kids.
Robin said that Fred changed in his personal life to make things work with his marriage. Fred said that was the way he did things, Howard doesn't have to do that for his personal life. Robin said she heard a story that Bubba was telling on the air about how he was dating two women at the same time for years. She gave Howard the details about what she knew. Robin said that one of the girls cheated on Bubba and one of his listeners told on her after seeing her picking up some other dude. Howard said the story had some holes in it from what Robin was saying. Bubba ended up staying with that woman and admitted that he was a pussy for sticking with her.
The caller asked Howard when they're going to fire Bubba. The guy thinks that he doesn't really fit in with Howard's show. Howard said he knows not everyone is going to like Bubba, but he's got his own fans and he's very grateful that he's back on the radio after getting screwed over by Clear Channel. Robin said she heard Bubba being asked who he would give a kidney to. He mentioned the guys on his show and said that he'd also give it to anyone on the Stern show because they're like immediate family to him. The caller thinks that the only reason Bubba is like that is because they're employing him. Artie said getting a kidney from Bubba would be like getting a spine from Christopher Reeve. Eric said that Bubba said Artie is the only guy he wouldn't give his kidney to.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he wanted to have sex on the air but his girlfriend was running away from him. He wanted to put her on the phone but she ran away. Howard didn't have time to screw with that stuff so he hung up on him.
Howard kept Eric on the phone and let a caller tell him that he has all of his students at the high school he works at voting for Sanjaya. Howard asked Eric what he thought of that but Fred and the guys were doing their impressions of Eric and his ''Ehh'' sounds. Howard told the guy to watch out, Eric might report him to Ryan Seacrest.
Howard told Eric he must be nervous now that he's heard about all of these people voting for Sanjaya. Eric said he'll be calling in tomorrow with tape of a message from a former Idol contestant. He said he's going to ask that person about the whole Sanjaya thing. Howard and the guys laughed when they heard Eric's plan to interview that person. Howard said ''Bye for now...'' to Eric and let him go a short time later.
Howard took a call from a g