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Howard was back from his Thanksgiving vacation and started off the show welcoming everyone back to a live show. He said he was tired and said that a week off can be exhausting sometimes. Artie said that he listened to some of the Mastertape Theatre stuff and liked hearing Howard yelling at Gange about the Larry Sanders tapes. Howard said he listened to that again and got pissed off at Gange once again over all of that.
Robin said she had forgotten that Howard was into that show back then. Howard said he had his Thanksgiving on Saturday because his wife had the kids on Thursday. He was driving around on Saturday morning and heard that story all over again and all he could think about was Mike Gange. He said he couldn't get over it and told his kids that he never did fire that guy.
Artie thinks that Ralph was the culprit in all of that because he probably scammed Gange into giving him that tape. Howard said it was such a simple chain of command and Gange never should have given up that tape. Howard said he hears that Gange is doing great in his new job at In Demand. He really wanted to fire him though. He thinks that Mike went on to give a tape of some porn to an ex-priest one time instead of some Seinfeld episodes.
Howard said he has no ability to fire anyone and his kids really thought he should have fired Gange back then. He told his kids about the time Gange sent that porn tape to the woman who was dying of cancer and how embarrassing that was. That didn't even get Gange fired though. Howard wanted to fire him all over again when he heard that stuff.
Artie said he was listening to SIRIUS in his car and saw that they listed the date for that Mastertape Theatre show which he thought was kind of cool. Howard said he was driving around listening to the replay and then turned over to Scott Ferrall. He thought he was hysterical because his attitude is so funny. He thinks that the guy has hit his groove on Howard 101.
Artie brought up football and how funny Scott is when he's talking about that stuff. Howard said he's not into the game that much but he does like hearing him talk about it. He said Scott has some good sound effects on the show of people yelling stuff out. He's not sure what they are but they're pretty funny to him.
Howard told the guys about how he was trying to find his car when he had that look on his face. He said the photographers were trying to catch him and they just happened to catch him at that point. He said that he's getting mail and calls about how he didn't go to Gary's father's funeral but did go to Ed Bradley's memorial.
Howard took a call from a guy who was upset that he didn't go to Gary's Father's funeral. The caller said it means a lot to the fans that he didn't go to Gary's father's funeral but did go to Ed's. He only knew Ed for like 3 days. Howard said he would have gone to Gary's Father's wake but Beth broke her foot that morning and they couldn't go.
The caller said that Howard should have gone to Hank the Dwarf's funeral as well. Howard said his funeral was up in Massachusetts and it was too far to go. Ed Bradley's was in Manhattan so he figured he'd go. Artie said that this caller had called in last week and pissed him off. The guy said he's speaking for the people when he talks about this but Howard doesn't think he does.
Howard hung up on that guy after saying he can really get under your skin. He went on to talk about how he got the invitation from Ruth Streeter to go to Ed Bradley's memorial service. He was supposed to go away but it turned out he didn't have to go so he went to the church which was up in Harlem. He said he wasn't sure if that's where he was or not but he did lock his doors. He said there were a lot of white people walking around up there so he wasn't sure if it was Harlem or not.
Howard joked that Michael Richards is probably going to move up there to show he likes the black people. He said he'll get to that story later and explain what happened there. Howard said Michael Richards was on the show one time and he was an awful interview. He was just a bore. Howard said the reason that Jerry Seinfeld went on Letterman and tried to get Richards to apologize is because they have this huge following that could turn on them because of something like that. He said he knows of people who love the show and are effected by what he said. Robin said she was never a fan of Seinfeld and she always thought the show was racist. She also said that the whole Letterman thing was really bizarre.
Howard said he's getting scared that he can kind of size up Artie's weight these days. Artie ended up talking about his past drug use and how he actually tried to overdose on coke one time just to see what it felt like. That's when he ended up in the hospital and having a catheter in his penis. He said with this food thing he wanted to see what he felt like at 300 pounds so he got as close as he could and then started to back off the eating so much. He said he was overdosing on food.
Artie heard that Bill Cosby had done a long time on stage as if he was doing a stand-up gig. Howard said Cosby was actually very good and didn't drone on like people thought he would. Artie said he heard some clips on the radio and it sounded like he had droned on. Howard assured him that he didn't.
Howard said that this church was a black church but Robin told him that it's really not. She went to this Riverside church and knew that it wasn't black. She found religion for a few minutes according to Howard. He said she went through a couple of phases in her life and that's the kind of stuff she was doing. She was part of Chocolate Singles at one point when she was looking for a man. He said he thought she was nuts for advertising in that magazine years ago. She was a famous woman at the time and she was still trying to find a man through there. He figured she'd find someone like Elephant Boy answering her ad. That led to Fred playing the audio clip of Elephant Boy's voice mail message on a dating service where he talks about looking for a couple where the guy is bi-sexual.
Howard said that he was curious about seeing what went on at Ed Bradley's memorial service. He joked that he never really liked Gary's father so that's why he didn't go to that. He said that he really was going to Gary's father's funeral and it was Beth's ankle that kept him from going.
Howard said he became aware of Michael Richards when he was on this show ''Friday's'' that was on many years ago. He said he was funny on that show and then he got onto the Seinfeld show. He said for a guy like that to be appearing at The Laugh Factory is a big come down for him. He's probably trying to put some kind of show together and he's looking for something to play off of in the club. He's probably trying to stay relevant by doing shows like that.
Howard said that Richard's isn't really a stand-up comedian and it's like he's trying to create a new career at the age of 50-something. He said that he read that Richards once yelled about the Jews while he was on stage. It's almost like he's in the Mel Gibson league there. He said that the guy is trying to be Don Rickles funny but it doesn't work for him. He said that both Mel Gibson and Michael Richards are in dark places but if you want to give Michael some slack, he wasn't doing this stuff with the cops like Gibson was.
Robin said that it sounds like Richards was starting out with something and knew he was wrong. Then he slowed down but then got right back into it and screwed himself. Howard said the worst part is that Richards is apologizing to Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. He said that Jesse Jackson is the worst representative because he once called New York City ''Heimie town.'' Robin said that Michael has said he's tried to find the people he offended but hasn't been able to find them. The guys who were yelled at were saying that he never approached them though.
Howard had the audio of Richards yelling out the N-word at these guys on stage. He said the quality is amazing for a cell phone recording. Richards was pissed that he was being interrupted by these guys in the crowd so he went off on them calling them the N-word. They yelled at him as they were leaving the club. They told him it was uncalled for and he was a cracker-ass who hasn't had a hit show since Seinfeld. Richards eventually walked off stage dropping the microphone.
Artie said he can relate to the anger Richards had because hecklers are horrible sometimes. Howard said that the guy is a bit of a disappointment when people go to see him because they think he's going to be hilarious. He said if the guy did that act everywhere he goes, it might be kind of funny. Maybe he could have a melt-down everywhere he goes. He said the guy is out of line with that stuff but all of the apologies he's doing are nuts.
Howard had some audio of Michael Richards apologizing on Letterman's show last week. He was going to play that but got sidetracked when he brought up Britney Spears and said that she's having trouble getting a publicist since she's so out of control. He said he saw a picture of her with Paris Hilton on PerezHilton.com and he wants to fuck both of them. He said that he thinks Paris is a retard but he'd still like to fuck both of them because they looks so hot to him. He said he thinks that both of them have eaten each other out.
Howard said he was beating off through the whole vacation. Beth was on her period so he had to beat off. He said he was getting upset with her because it seems to come around like once a month. Artie told him that there's a pill that will make it come every 3 months or something like that.
Howard wanted to get to the tape of Michael Richards but he's got so many other things to talk about. Robin told him to play it even though she wanted to hear other stories. Howard played the clip where Richards was live via satellite on Letterman's show trying to apologize and explain what went on with him.
Howard said that Richards should have kept the racist act going when he was on Letterman explaining it. Howard told Artie that he should use the N-word in his act. Artie said he does and he was pissed that Richards stole his act. The guys said that Richards was kind of left hanging on Letterman because they didn't fill the audience in on what had actually happened. They were very vague when they were explaining what went on.
The audience laughed at Richards at one point and Jerry Seinfeld asked them not to laugh because it wasn't funny. Richards said he wasn't sure if that was the right place to be doing this apology. He said he was very sorry to the people who were in the audience that night. He was very ''busted up'' over the whole thing. Howard said this made even less sense than Sal's apology for his racist comments.
Howard continued to play Richards' apology where he mentions what went on down in New Orleans and how there are other comics are trying to raise money from that. That led to Robin talking about going over to England to visit and had a cab driver giving her a hard time after she accidentally gave the guy a Euro instead of a 20 pound note. She said the guy said he knew that she was a ''Yank'' and she was trying to pull a trick on him. She said it wasn't that she was black, it was that she was American.
Gary told Howard that Greg Fitzsimmons is doing a show on Howard 101 tonight and Sarah is going to be a guest on the show. Howard didn't know what he was talking about so Gary had to explain it. Howard then knew what he was talking about and gave Greg a plug for his show which is airing tonight at 7 on Howard 101.
Howard said that he had a bonding conversation with Gary last night so he didn't want to yell at him. He said Gary started to open up to him last night but it was 8:30 and he wanted to watch some TV and go to bed. Gary said that Howard opened up to him first.
Howard said he was having a great conversation with Gary but he still wanted to get off the phone and just watch TV. He said that's how vapid he is. Artie said he invited a few guys over to his apartment to eat and watch TV. He said that he and Shuli came over for Thanksgiving and it seems like he knows that guy more than he knows the other people on the show.
Artie said he wasn't with Dana on Thanksgiving so Howard asked him if he's done with her again. Artie said that they are over and he had sex with someone other than Dana when he was down in Atlantic City this weekend. Artie said that they had broken up officially before that and he had a chick down there. Artie said it's been a year of torture for both of them and now they are officially over.
Howard asked Artie how he met this chick. Artie said he met her over the summer and met him down at the Borgata. He said she kind of let him know that she was into him back then and he never threw out her number. He said he went to go see the Rolling Stones down there over the weekend and called this chick.
Howard asked him if she's hot. Artie said he thinks she's hot and would rate her an a 8.5. Howard asked Artie if he called Dana while he was having sex with the new chick. Artie said he didn't but Howard picked up his megaphone and did his Artie and Dana impressions. He had Artie talking to Dana while he was fucking this other chick. Robin asked Artie why he didn't call the chick he went on the date with. Artie said he's had her on his mind a lot lately. Howard said he whacked off while thinking about her.
Howard figured out why Artie lost weight, it's because he and Dana broke up and he doesn't want chicks seeing him naked. Artie said he saw the Rolling Stones the first weekend they were off, then he went to see The Who and figured he had to get rid of some of his bloat.
Artie said he and Dana went into this year long fight and that's when he started to eat. Howard told him to start watching the Biggest Loser because it will inspire him to lose the weight. Artie said he knows what it's like to be 300 pounds and he doesn't like it. Artie said he likes this new chick though. He said she's 30-ish but he's not sure of her exact age.
Artie shared some of his sex stories and said that he loves doing girls in the missionary position. He said he did her like 3 or 4 times in two days. Howard said that he loves Dana but it was killing both of them to stay in that relationship. Artie said that Dana wanted to try with him one more time but things didn't work out for them. After her birthday Artie said that she stuck to her guns and wanted him to go to therapy. He didn't want to get pushed into something like that so he told her that he couldn't do it so it was a done deal at that time.
Artie said that he's gotten so fat that he has to take his socks off by rubbing them on the carpet until they come off. He said he wears them out like that but it's the only way he can get them off. Howard said that it must be something for the woman to sit there waiting for him to take his socks off like that.
Howard asked Artie if he was thinking about Dana and almost called the new chick by her name while he was banging her. Artie said that didn't happen. Howard said that when you get a new chick you can't think about anything but that new chick so that's not surprised.
Artie said he was just offered a job doing stand-up at the Playboy mansion for a corporate party. He said it's a private function but it should be filled with hot chicks. He said it's good money and he's never been in the Playboy mansion before.
Howard said he had to take a break but ended up talking to some of the other guys about Artie finally getting laid by some other chick. Fred said that it was odd that Artie kept that phone number all this time if he thought he was going to get back with Dana. Artie said that this broad is sexy and he couldn't throw that number away. He said that she looks kind of like a young Lauren Hutton. He said she doesn't talk like Lauren Hutton, she has a really annoying Philly accent. Howard asked him if he shot a load on her. Artie said he shot a load all over his own stomach.
Howard said he thinks that Artie will lose like 60 pounds in the next few months. He's going to whip himself into shape now that he can get laid again. Howard said the new diet pill for Artie is called ''New Pussy.''
Howard had to take a break but Ivy Supersonic called in and wanted to get on the air. He put her on and let her ramble about how she found some Nazi down in Miami. She was going on and on about this Nazi and how he had robbed her after living in her house or something like that. Howard told her he had to go to break and hung up on her.
Howard had to get back to the Michael Richards tapes. He said he had some audio of him talking to Jesse Jackson. Richards has spoke to Al Sharpton as well but Al apparently didn't accept his apology and wants to drag this out even longer. Howard spent some time talking about the crazy things that both Jess Jackson and Al Sharpton have been involved with.
Howard said he walked into this Ed Bradley memorial service and for some reason blacks really love him. He said they must feel for him because he gets treated so bad. Robin said that's probably the case and they can relate to the way he's been treated.
Howard said he was handed a prayer handkerchief when he walked into the memorial service. Beth told him that was in case he wanted to cry. He said there was no way that was going to happen. Howard then said that he walked into the event and figured he was going to be in some VIP section like Ruth Streeter told him he was. He walked in and the place was massive. He got dressed up for the event and knew that there would be some big celebrities there.
Howard said he showed up and there was some security there at the mid point of the church. A bunch of celebrities walked right past him and sat down. Then he tried walking past and the guy stopped him and showed him where to sit. He said they sat him in the back next to some old black ladies while all of the whites were stuck in the front. Howard said that the place was huge and he's stuck way in the back. He was surrounded by ''regular black people'' who go to church all the time. A guy sitting in front of him had to have been homeless because he was wearing a ski jacket and had dreadlocks.
Howard said he was going to sit there but figured that he should have said something to the guy who sat him in the back. He said he was fine, or trying to convince himself that he was fine, but then Beth saw that he was stewing. She knew that he wanted to be in the front with the other people. Howard said he started thinking to himself why he was sitting in the back. Beth tried to calm him down and wanted him to stop stewing over it.
Then Gayle-fucking-King walked in. Howard said he was livid when he saw her walk in and not get stopped at all. He said he was sitting all the way in the back next to heavily perfumed women who were nobodies. He said he knew he wasn't right thinking like that but Ruth should have helped him out after inviting him. He started to go off on Gayle King as he was muttering to Beth. He said he feels bad for Beth because he was going off on this woman in church. He just wanted to get the fuck out of there at that point.
Howard went through a bunch of the people he saw walking in. He said he wanted to be up front with those people, not in the back of the church like he was. He said he ended up watching this thing on TV from the back of the church. Robin asked him if he ever moved. Howard said he would get to that.
Howard said he should have had Gary call and find out how he should have gotten into the church. He wondered who the fuck Gayle King is because when she walked in it was like the President of the United States had walked in. He said he got crazed when he saw that. He was feeling like he was stuck in the back of the bus at that point.
Howard said he then saw Ruth stand up and started working her way toward the back. He figured she'd come over and help them out and move them to the front. Ruth walked back, spoke to some black people who were in the back. Then she saw him and waved to him. He said he put his hands up and she walked away. She didn't move his seat, didn't rescue him... nothing. He said he doesn't hate Ruth but he thought that this was a bullshit thing. He was muttering and stewing and said that he was never going to go to another memorial service again. He said if he had a gun he would have taken everyone out because he was so pissed off.
Howard said Beth told him that Meredith Viera was sitting behind them. He didn't care about that, she should always be behind them. Howard said that this service was a great show but he was watching it on a TV that was in the church. He couldn't see the front of the church. He didn't know why he was doing this during his vacation either.
Howard said he knows he should have been there to memorialize Ed Bradley but the reason he was really there was for himself, to see the show. He said he wanted to see the show that was going on up front but he had to watch it on a TV so it wasn't the same. He said it was a huge insult to him that he had to sit back where he was sitting. The people he was sitting with had to have just walked in from the street.
Howard said he got there early because that's what Ruth told him to do. Then the service went on for 2 and a half hours. He was really pissed that Gayle King was treated the way she was. He also said that he doesn't want to get any mail about how shallow he is, he knows that he's shallow and he admits that.
Howard said he was thinking that Bill Clinton would love to see Beth's titties in her dress but he never got near anyone up front. He said that ruined his whole day. There was a luncheon after the service but he had to get out of there at that point. He said he's done with the whole memorial service thing and he will never go to another one.
Robin told Howard about a guy she spoke to over in England who told her about how Oprah comes to visit like once a year. The guy told her that she rarely comes over with her boyfriend Stedman, she brings her architect and her hair dresser, but not Gayle King or Stedman.
Howard said he now realizes that he has to have Gary call and set these things up for him to make sure he gets in the front row. He said the service was actually very beautiful but he was really pissed off. He took a call from a guy who said that he has every right to be pissed off about that whole thing. Howard said he doesn't have a whole posse like Gayle King did. He must not have looked important enough to the guy who was acting as security.
Howard took another call from a guy who said that Howard should hire some off duty cops to escort him to events like that. Howard said he has guys like that but he wouldn't bring them to something like that memorial service. He said it really pissed him off when he saw Gayle King walk in with her whole entourage. Howard said he's got Mike the Cop who helps him out with stuff like that. Ronnie could do it too but he doesn't come out of his hole for anything.
Benjy asked Howard if he thinks Ruth didn't know what his hand gestures and shrug meant when he saw her. He said that inside he really doesn't think he's anyone special so that's why he doesn't make a big deal out of something like that. He said he really likes Ruth but at the time he asked Beth what the hell was wrong with her not getting him a seat up front.
Robin pointed out that Howard does think he's something special because he was so upset about this stuff. The guys said that Howard should have just changed the channel on the TV in the church. Howard thought that would have been funny if he had gotten up and just changed to a football game.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he heard that Beetlejuice was in the front row next to President Clinton. Howard said that's just about how bad it was. He said people like Al Sharpton, Diane Sawyer, Walter Cronkite, Gayle King, Andy Rooney and his entourage all walked right to the front. Howard said he was the one who was turned away while everyone else just walked right up there. The whole thing was so retarded and he was insulted by it.
Howard said that this will all get back to Ruth but he doesn't care. Gary told him that he has a cell phone number for Ruth if he wanted to call her. He told him not to bother her yet. Maybe tomorrow when she's already heard about this. The caller told Howard that he heard Michael Richards had a better seat than he did.
Gary told Howard that Ruth is going to hear every word of this because she's got a friend who listens to the show.
Artie said he could wait a few months before looking at Doug's pictures because all babies look the same at this age. Robin said she's cute with a full head of hair.
Doug said that he was up for 44 hours straight when the baby was born. He said the baby was over 7 pounds and it was too big for his wife's body. He said she's already lost a lot of the weight that she gained. Doug said that she won't have a tummy tuck until they're done having kids of course. He said he doesn't want to have more than two though.
Doug said he has like 400 pictures to show but Howard told him he didn't want to see them. Doug said that the most important thing to Howard are his kids so he must know how he feels. Howard said that the importance in his life goes himself, Lonnie from Scores, his own penis and then everyone else.
Howard also had a phone call that Daniel Carver, Wendy the Retard and Gary the Retard had about Michael Richards. They didn't know what had gone on so Daniel explained it in his own way. He had Gary the Retard yelling the N-word and talking about how few there are in Oregon.
Daniel was doing his own little show getting the two retards to say the N-word. Wendy was afraid to say the word so she tried spelling it and refused to say the word to Daniel. She was afraid that Robin would kick her ass if she did say it. Gary the Retard was yelling out all kinds of things to Daniel and seemed to side with him on his hate for the blacks. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard said he heard from Ruth Streeter's friend who did see Howard come in to the memorial service and figured he wanted to sit in the back because he wanted to make an escape. Howard said that wasn't why he was there and didn't make a big deal out of the whole thing. The guy told Gary that Ruth figured he would have let her know if he wanted to move up to the front. Howard said that he could have seen better from his apartment than he did in the back of the church.
Howard said that Will the Farter was there with his girlfriend Erica who he wanted to show around the studio. Howard said he wanted to meet the girl who was lucky enough to be with him so he had the two of them come in. Howard met Erica who has been going out with this guy for about 3 1/2 years. She said she didn't know about his talent until about 3 or 4 months after they met. She said she thought it was hilarious when he demonstrated it for the first time.
Howard asked Will to demonstrate some farting so he sucked in some air, through his ass, and ripped a bunch of farts for everyone. Howard asked Erica more about being the girlfriend of a farter. She told a story about him farting at his cousin's party one time. Will farted on his head after he passed out from drinking so much.
Erica thinks that this stuff is funny so Howard seems to think that she's a very special girl then. He asked her if she has tried to learn the craft of farting like Will. She said she hasn't and gives him all the credit. Howard had Will fart a little more for them. Will blasted out a bunch for them and had Howard laughing. He said that Will could go to any party and win everyone over.
Erica said that sometimes his farts really smell but he's not too bad today. Howard heard that Will wanted to make a statement today so he let him do that. Will then said he wanted to fart on his girlfriend but he wasn't able to do it. Howard told him to go ahead and say what he wanted to say. There was some silence for a short item and then Will proposed to her. He asked her to marry him and she said yes. Howard said that she's now Mrs. Will the Farter.
Will was on one knee and hugging his girlfriend. Howard said she looked shocked. She said that Will told her that they were going on the show for some contest, she had no idea he was going to ask her to marry him. Howard said he was honored to have been a part of that moment. Will said that he hasn't asked her father for her hand in marriage yet. He said that's going to be tough. He said they're Mormons and he's not sure it's going to be that easy to get an approval from them.
Erica said that her parents like him and it won't be a problem. Howard said that if he could fart he would go on tour and do it all the time. He asked Will and Erica how old they are. Will said that he's 27 and Erica is 25. Howard said that Erica just stood there as he was farting on her earlier.
Will told Howard that he wasn't born with an asshole so he's hoping that any kids he has do have one. He said that the doctors had to rework his plumbing. He had a colostomy bag for the first couple years of his life. Artie said that the doctors literally ripped him a new asshole.
Howard asked Erica if she's ever seen his asshole. She said he hasn't. Artie said he must have a bionic asshole or something and laughed his ass off just thinking about it. Will said he once took a picture of his asshole and it didn't look quite right. Artie called him the Six Million Dollar Farter Man. Howard said this must be how he got this special power of farting that he has. He's like a future man with an asshole that was given to him by science.
Will thought he had brought that up on the air one time but no one remembered it. Howard asked him to blast a few more farts for them in the light of this new found information. Will blasted out a few and Erica said that they were getting stinky. Will was letting out some really long farts and had the guys laughing. Howard wrapped up with the two of them and told Will that they ''speak his name.''
Howard said that Ronnie walked into the studio in the middle of that and showed Erica the ring. She wasn't even able to say the word ''yes'' because she was crying and just nodding her head.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he was out trying to find SIRIUS radios but there were none to be found. Howard said he hopes that they have enough out there for the holiday season. Howard said he just bought a bunch of Stilettos for some of the guys but he bought them online. The caller said he wanted to get a radio for his sister for Christmas and the people at the store had no idea what they were doing.
The caller was from Canada and said that the guys in the store were saying that XM is cheaper than SIRIUS but that's not true anymore. They apparently have no clue. Howard said that they should have some kind of classes for these guys to teach them how to sell that stuff.
Gary told a story about sitting around with Sid down in Florida and heard a lot of his stories while hanging with him. Howard told him to bring the guy in so he could talk to him about all of that stuff.
Sid is now working on a station down in Miami. He said he's on 790AM down there doing his own show in the afternoon. He said everything is going okay for him right now and he hasn't been fired yet. Howard asked him what his thoughts are on the Michael Richards thing. Sid said that he thinks that Richards is a racist but he's not... even though he's gotten into trouble for making racist comments.
Sid said he thinks that Richards hates black people and should be kept off of TV. Howard said that Sid used to do funny stuff on the air and Imus wouldn't back him when he'd get into trouble. Sid told Howard that he was kind of forced upon Imus by Mark Chernoff. He said that he kind of felt that Don didn't like him. Howard helped him out and said that he thinks that Imus is an asshole.
Sid said he was doing okay working there but he got fired over the comments he made about Venus and Serena Williams. He said he got into some big trouble over that when the papers picked up on it. Sid said that Howard talked about it on the air and said that it was kind of hypocritical of Imus to fire someone for that when he used to call people the N-word in the halls of NBC. Sid thinks that helped get him back on the show and re-hired.
Robin talked about how Imus used to call her names in the halls. Sid said that he looks back at some of the stuff that went on with him back when he was working with Imus and how wrong it was. Sid said he got suspended one time when he didn't show up to work one morning after he was out late partying.
Sid said that he was addicted to crack for a while. He also said that his final firing was over a comment he made about Kylie Minogue. He made a comment about how she wasn't going to look so good with a bald head and one tittie. He said that people laughed when he said it but it got worse later in the day. He said that he was fired by Lee Davis and Mark Chernoff. Lee is Howard's former intern.
Sid said he was at a Mets game when he got the call to come back to the station. He said he told them that if they were going to fire him they should just do it then. They had him come back anyway.
Howard had Scott Ferrall on the phone. Scott got on the phone and asked Sid why he calls his wife and talks to her about Howard and the show. Sid said he called to talk to Scott but got stuck talking to his wife. Scott said that he was invited on his show but this guy is full of it and talks so much shit. He said he called the show to go on but he doesn't know the guy and wants him to stop calling his house. Sid told Scott that his show sucks and he'd like to take his shift. Scott continued to go off on him calling him a liar and telling him he was full of shit.
Sid said that he did call Scott's house last week, twice, to get him on the air with him. Sid went off on Scott telling him that he sucks and he's lucky to have a show on Howard's channel. The two of them went back and forth but Sid said he wanted him to hang up on him because he's there to talk to Howard, not to Scott.
Scott said that he used to get along with Sid but last week when the guy called his wife, he felt that he crossed the line with him. The guys didn't understand why Scott was so upset with him. Sid didn't get why he was so mad because he was just calling to get Scott on his show. Howard said that the two of them should do a show together. Howard asked Scott if he wanted to call Sid's wife to get even with him or something. Scott said that he had no business calling his wife and talk to her about Tim Sabean and stuff like that.
Scott said that Sid talked to his wife about Tim Sabean but the guys didn't understand what was wrong with that. Scott said that the guy doesn't know his wife and he had no business talking about that stuff with her. Scott also told Howard that it took him 10 months to get back on the air after he was fired in New York City. He said he never called Sid to help him get a job.
Howard said that this is not going to be worked out on the air. He tried to calm Scott down but it wasn't working. Scott was still going off on Sid as they were wrapping up the phone call. Artie said that this is what happens when you get substance abusers together. He said he didn't understand Scott's point at all. Gary said Scott did come off a little odd in that call.
Artie said that Sid and Scott doing a show together would make for a great show. Sid said that he used to feel bad for Scott when he got fired for goofing on a woman who used to call WFAN all the time. Now he's kind of glad the guy was fired.
Gary told Howard that Sid came close to killing himself after the last time he was fired. Sid said he was in a hotel room in Cleveland on coke and he was pretty depressed that night. He didn't try to kill himself but he was pretty depressed.
Gary read that Sid once bet $27,000 on a game when he was making only $300 a week at work. Artie remembered that game because the score ended up being 55-10 or something like that. Sid lost that money and said he realized he had to get out of town in about the third quarter of that game. He didn't have the money the day he had to pay up though. He said most of the guys out there are decent and understand if you don't have the money.
Howard asked Sid if they send someone over to take care of him. He said it's not like what you see on TV but he did have to pay that money off eventually. He said that they actually knocked that amount down to a more reasonable amount.
Artie knows a lot about that stuff and any guy who isn't connected won't beat a guy up because they'll both end up in jail. Artie said that he asks before a guy comes over to collect to find out if he's connected. Artie and Sid talked about their gambling and how tough some of that has been. Artie said that Norm Macdonald is a big gambler and once said that gambling is the only disease where you can win lots of money.
Howard asked Sid if he's trying to get back on the air in New York. Sid said he thinks that he will be back on some day. He hasn't done any coke in about 2 years now so he's on the right track.
Gary asked Sid about stealing DirecTV. Sid said that Imus had asked him how you go about doing that stuff and he explained how he told Imus about it on the air and went home after the show. An hour after the show he got home and got served papers an hour later. He said it cost him almost $50,000 for stealing it.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that he heard that Sid was getting sued for owing like $50,000 for gambling. Sid said he really doesn't remember that but he has been sued before. Gary said that Sid had a book deal at one point and had a six figure advance. Sid said he got fired and lost out on the deal after that.
Howard took some calls for Sid. One guy used to listen to him on WFAN and said they really miss him. Another guy told him about how he got busted for stealing DirecTV and they tried to sue him over it but they have no proof that he was actually using it.
Howard started to wrap up with Sid. Sid was saying that he was feeling good about himself until that call from Scott Ferrall earlier. Artie asked him about Mike and the Mad Dog and if he has a problem with them. Sid said he's in a battle with Mike right now and explained how that all came about.
Sid was telling the guys about the big rock station down in Miami that's now carrying the Opie and Anthony shows and they're only getting a .5 rating down there. He said they're getting killed in that market. Howard said he's never really heard those guys and doesn't know how bad they really are. Sid didn't seem to think that they were that great. He worked with them at WNEW when they were on that station in New York. Howard said he doesn't know how anyone cal listen to terrestrial radio now because it's so sanitized. He said that firing this guy Sid is kind of ridiculous.
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up the Scott Ferrall call so they spent a few more minutes talking about that. The guys still didn't get why Scott was so upset with Sid. Howard wrapped up and went to break a short time later.
Howard played the clip where Jesse asked Richards what was going through his mind when he started to rant on stage. Richards, who wasn't making much sense, tried to explain what was going on. He said he was in a time of humiliation. Howard got in a mention for the company that released the clips which was Premiere Radio Networks. Howard said he's pretty sure this is the first time the guy's radio show has been heard.
Howard played more audio of Richards trying to explain what was going on that night when he flipped out but he wasn't really able to express himself very well. Howard said that his career is essentially over and he'll always be Kramer. He said the guy knew they had a loser on stage and that's what led to the audience talking over him and then him flipping out. He said the guy is obviously racist but what is someone supposed to do about that.
Howard figures that Richards is an improv guy and just tries to make things happen without an act. He said that Seinfeld is probably pissed because it will cut back the sales of the Seinfeld DVDs. Howard said his father is the biggest fan around but now he feels differently about it.
Howard got back to the audio from Jesse Jackson's show. Richards was hoping to apologize and start the healing. Jesse wasn't letting that happen but this is the guy who has a lot of hate of his own. Howard pointed that out and played more of Richards explaining why he did what he did.
Richards said that he doesn't think of himself as a comedian, he's more of a performance artist. Howard said that's the worst thing you can do on a comedy club stage. Artie said he's met people like that and the fans never treat them very well because they're sitting in a club paying ten bucks for a drink. Howard said he doesn't understand what he's saying. He understands this about as much as he understood Scott Ferrall's feelings about Sid Rosenberg.
Howard said that Richards should go on Oprah's show to apologize next. Robin said she probably wouldn't even allow him on her show. Robin picked up on how Jesse Jackson said ''Afri'n Americans'' at one point in the interview so Howard replayed that to get a couple of laughs. That led to Artie doing an impression of Jesse and goofing on him a little bit.
Howard said that The Today Show had the guys who were yelled at in the club that night and they've hired Gloria Alred as a lawyer in their case. No one was sure what kind of case they could possibly have. Howard played the audio clip where Gloria was talking about how much pain Richards inflicted on those guys. They also had the guys talking about what happened that night and how they feel about the way they were treated... after they interrupted the guy's act.
Howard said that Jesse Jackson must be thrilled that he has a white guy coming on his show to apologize for something like that. Artie was saying that everyone seems to be faking their feelings on this whole thing, Seinfeld, Letterman and everyone else. He thinks it's kind of funny.
Howard said he was watching and saw this hand go up to her mouth. Howard said he got all worked up and said that's ridiculous. He said a man can not go into a woman's space like that. He said Hillary Clinton once had that happen when a man walked up to her during a debate. You just can't do that kind of thing to someone. Howard said he got really worked up over that. Kelly told Clay not to do that to her and they dropped it. Howard said he got really worked up and called Kelly's home phone since Beth had her number. He said that he left a message where he said that Clay had no right to do that with his fuckin' hand. He said he had no right to put his hand over her face.
Howard said Kelly called him back and left a message for him. He said that she thanked him for that and then the next day she brought it up with Regis. The next thing you know, Rosie O'Donnell got on The View and said that she felt it was a homophobic thing for her to do. Howard said he saw that going down and Rosie should know it had nothing to do with homophobia, it's all about a man putting his hand in a woman's face.
Howard felt that Rosie was out of line saying that on the show. Kelly called The View and tried to defend herself but Howard felt she didn't do a great job so he called her back and told her that she should have said that you just don't put your hand on another person's mouth no matter what. He said it wasn't homophobia at all. She called him back and left another message saying that the whole thing got out of hand.
Howard is now figuring that he got the whole ball rolling because he left that first message for Kelly. If she didn't bring that call up with Regis the next day, maybe it wouldn't have gotten picked up by the news outlets. Robin was in London at the time and heard about it over there.
Howard said that it was Beth pointing it out to her and then him leaving the message on Kelly's answering machine. He said Beth just happened to have her number and that could be the whole reason she got into so much hot water.
Robin explained what she knew about that whole story and how he already did his stunt where he got himself out of some restraints and fell 40 feet to the ground. Artie said he didn't even know what the guy did because he didn't hear anything about it.
Steve said that they'll be asking Will the Farter about being born without an asshole. They'll also be talking to Joey Boots about his recovery from doing coke again. Steve also got in a plug for the Greg Fitzsimmons show which is airing tonight at 7pm on Howard 101.
Howard mentioned that he called into the Barbara Walters show during vacation and got Martha Stewart to admit that she uses a vibrator called The Thumper. He said he was on for about 20 minutes and wondered if anyone even knew he was on.
Jon Hein was up next with his Wrap Up Show preview. He and the guys will be talking about Howard's problems at the Ed Bradley memorial service. They'll also talk about Will the Farter's proposal and how Ronnie offered up the ring a little too early. They'll also be talking about Sid Rosenberg's visit and Scott Ferrall's strange call. Jon said he did Scott's show during the break and barely got in a word according to Howard. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard said that 5 of the 13 kids in this family walks on all fours like a gorilla or something. He said they can't even train these fucker to walk right. The father of the family seems to love it though. He said that the family won't believe that this is a genetic thing that goes back to when we walked like apes. He said the father wants to get the family some help but it's not that easy.
Howard said that one guy tried to walk around on 2 legs and he was wobbling around like he was drunk. The parents are apparently first cousins.
Robin said she saw a special about some anorexic people who were all being treated by fat people. Howard said he'd like to start a show called Dancing With People On All Fours. He said that the show was so good that he and Beth watched it twice when it came on regular TV.
Howard told the guys about some of the stuff that was going on during that show and how wild it was. They had the people being brought down to the beach and shown the water since they had never seen the ocean.
Howard said that George Takei is going to be on the show ''Heroes'' playing the father of Hiro on the show. He said that George will be on the show in the next couple of weeks for a visit.
Bong Hit Eric called in and congratulated Artie on getting laid. Howard was wondering why Jon Hein didn't mention that as one of the stories they were going to cover during the Wrap Up Show. Jon came in and said that they will be talking about that, they will have Artie on the show to discuss it.
Howard read through some e-mail about Crazy Cabbie, Chuck Zito and other stuff. They got some positive feedback about both of those guys. He said that a guy up in Alaska wrote in about how great the Chuck Zito show was.
Artie mentioned that he will be performing at a Crazy Cabbie benefit show soon. He said that someone put together a show for Cabbie to help him pay some bills. He doesn't have the details yet though. He said he told Cabbie that he would do the show for free and they could bill him as the headliner if he wanted. Artie thinks that the money they take at the door will be plenty for him, they won't need other people donating.
Howard said he got some complaints about the quality of the phone he used to call the Barbara Walters show last week. He said it's a phone that was in the home he rents so he had no control over that.
Artie mentioned that the Tenacious D movie only did like $3 million at the box office over the weekend. Howard predicted that they were going to do $14 million. The guys spent a few minutes talking about Jack Black and how he's done a few clunker movies. That led to them talking about how huge the Borat movie has been and how that has made over $100 million. Robin said that the movie ''Happy Feet'' has already done that and the new James Bond movie is close to $100 million already.
Robin said she knew that the new James Bond was going to be big. The guys talked about that guy for a short time. Artie said that he and Shuli went out and saw the movie together and it was actually very good. He explained how they look at this guy as if he's a murderer like in a real-life kind of way. Howard had Robin get to her news since they were running so late. Fred played Bob Levy's theme song about Robin as she was starting. That led to Artie saying that he has a song parody about Howard that he has to go record. He's not sure if it's that good yet because he hasn't showed the guys the lyrics yet.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in during the news and said that she knew that Artie was going to eventually break up with Dana and she's so happy that he's finally moved on. She also said that she watched the pat Cooper show on Howard TV and thought it was very funny.
Howard quickly went through the Football Pool results and said that Artie is now in dead last place even with a win over the holiday. They wrapped up and ended the show around 11:15am.
Howard started off the show talking about how they have everything anyone could want there at SIRIUS. He spent a minute on that and then got into some clips that he had been listening to. Artie told him the Big Foot call with Blue Iris was a good one to play. They also talked about another clip where Sal went up to Harlem and interviewed some black people about the Michael Richards thing. He played that one first.
In the clip Sal asks some guys what they think of the Michael Richards thing and the first guy flips out and starts yelling about him and even going off on Sal himself. The guy thinks Michael should be in prison. Sal quoted Chris Rock using the N-word but the guy has no problem with that. The guy also suggested that Richards stay out of Harlem because he'll get his ass kicked. He also said that he doesn't like his character Kramer, he likes George.
Artie said he liked that line about liking George better than Kramer. Howard said Sal had some other interviews as well but he hadn't listened to them yet. He played the next one where Sal asks a woman about Richards and what she thinks. She said that she would slap the shit out of him if she got a hold of him. Sal asked her if she would stop watching Seinfeld because of it. She never watched and said that he should be banned from everywhere. She also said that she doesn't think that Mel Gibson is racist. Sal asked her about Chris Rock using the N-word and she said she has no problem with that. She used an expression and kind of got it wrong when she said that blacks have ''Bears to Cross.''
Howard played another clip and this guy seemed to sympathize with OJ Simpson while going off on Michael Richards. He also went off on White people saying that some of them will call them the N-word in person down in the south but up north they won't do that. They'll back stab them.
Artie asked Howard if he read the story about Pam Anderson and Kid Rock breaking up. Howard said he did read it and pulled out the article so he could read it on the air. He read that the two of them had a fight after seeing the movie ''Borat'' because Pam was in the movie. Kid Rock yelled at her about doing what she did in the movie. She was in on the joke though and knew what was going on so she played along with it.
Howard said this guy had to have known that Pam is mental and does all kinds of wacky stuff. Kid Rock apparently couldn't deal with it and now they've filed for divorce. Howard and Robin spent a short time talking about Pam's many strange relationships.
Siobahn said that Robin was the one who said it. Robin said she would have to hear it to know what she was talking about. Siobahn said that she's scared shitless now and isn't sure what to do. Howard said that maybe it was around the time that she threatened to kill his wife. Siobahn said she never did that and isn't sure how he got that out of what was written back then.
Siobahn said that she's afraid to go out anywhere now because of that clip. Howard said that he's not going to get beat up. Siobahn suggested that Howard listen to the clip off the air. Howard said he would do that and he suggested that his fans NOT beat up Siobahn.
Siobahn asked why they would play that clip again after all these years. Howard wasn't sure why they did that but they don't listen to every second of tape. Howard asked her why she would call in and complain on the air if she doesn't want people to beat her up. Howard and Robin didn't know anything about it before she called in with the information.
Siobahn was basically telling even more people about this clip than heard it during Mastertape Theatre. Howard said he has to hear what's in this clip. Artie asked Sir Harden Thicke to come in and explain it to them. Siobahn didn't know who that was. The guys were getting a laugh out of the whole thing but Siobahn didn't find it funny at all.
Gary said he heard that Siobahn was getting really weird last week when she called there looking for Howard's dentist because she's got dental problems. Siobahn said she needs some work done on a tooth and she was hoping to get it done for free from Howard's dentist. Howard said that maybe they should part ways again since she's getting so weird with this stuff.
Howard thinks that Siobahn is getting a little carried away with this whole thing but he will look into it and see what he can do. Siobahn didn't know what to do in the meantime. Howard told her that she can go outside with no problem, no one is going to beat her up.
Gary said that he now has to have Steve the Intern listen to four hours of tape to find that clip and when they find it, they're going to figure that Siobahn is just being a pain in the ass. Howard asked Siobahn what they're supposed to do about all of this. He asked if they're supposed to get a cop to cover her 24 hours a day or something. She said the cops won't do anything about that. Howard said he thought she was trained in some martial arts form. She said she's not that good in it though so she can't defend herself against everyone.
Howard and the guys were kind of laughing at what was going on but Siobahn didn't find it funny at all. She told them it wasn't funny and they should stop laughing. Howard told Siobahn that she should learn to be an astronaut so she could get away from everyone by being in space.
Howard asked Siobahn what they're supposed to do about this. She didn't know what she wanted so Howard tried going over the whole thing with her and tried to find out what the story was on that show. Siobahn said that Howard was talking about how Howard was talking about some event she was being invited to and they went right into that discussion about how someone should beat her up. Howard knew that she was leaving something out of the story.
Howard said that no one has tried to break her arms because of their show. He said he's sure she's had issues with people because of her gender but it's not because of the show. Gary came in and said that they have to track down this clip.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that what Howard said wasn't all that big of a deal. Howard went over some of Siobahn's history with the show and talked about how wacky she has been in the past. He was afraid that Siobahn was going to kill him back then. The caller said that it really wasn't a big deal but Siobahn thought that he was lying about it.
KDK called in and told Howard that he thinks that Siobahn might need another man. This is the guy who banged Siobahn a few months ago. He wanted to throw his boyfriend into the mix to bang her again. KDK has no desire to do her again though.
Howard said that Siobahn once told everyone where she lived and it's not like she tries to protect the secrecy of where she lives. Howard told Siobahn that they'd have someone get back to her about this whole thing. He let her go after Fred played a bunch of Gilbert Gottfried laugh clips.
Howard said he's got all kinds of crap like this going on. He said he's got this and he's got Cabbie asking him to do comedy shows and stuff.
Howard said he likes how these people have something wrong with Richards being a racist but then they make racist comments themselves. Gary came in and said that he heard the owner of the Laugh Factory saying that he wants Michael Richards to donate money to charity because of what he did there at the club. They're also banning the use of the N-word there because of what happened with him.
Howard heard that Paul Mooney was weighing in on that whole thing. He had an audio clip where Mooney said that it's time for healing and maybe it's time to stop using the N-word. He said they're going to put an end to that word and want to stop the whole world from using it. Paul claims that he was cured of that word after Michael used it the way he did.
Gary told Howard that they have Katt Williams coming in this week and that guy uses the N-word more than anyone else in his comedy act. For some guys it's like crack. Gary also said that one of their interns put together a song parody where they put Richards' use of the N-word to the tune of ''My Niggas.'' Howard played a few seconds of that but bailed out pretty quick.
Double A told Artie that he should hang with him so they can get some bitches. That led to Artie talking about how he's already getting shit from this new chick he banged. He said she was upset that he called her 30-ish when she's really only 28. Artie said his head was going to explode over that whole thing.
Artie also told Howard about this Playboy mansion gig he was going to be doing. He said that it sounds like it's going to be something else when he goes out there. They're going to have a lot of Playboy models out there.
Howard said that he had a clip from The Wrap Up Show where Artie took some shit about finally getting laid again. He played a clip where Artie talked about how great new pussy is when it's wrapped around your cock. He sounded very happy about getting some new ''vag'' over the vacation. He was telling the guys just how great it felt to have some ''new slit'' and stuff like that.
Howard said he got a lot of mail about those comments and people were upset with him for using those terms. Robin said that it was over the top but that's what made it funny. Howard also mentioned that he heard some of Greg Fitzsimmons' show last night and the guy was good. He said the show was produced well and he's very happy with what he heard.
Artie said that Greg really is a good stand-up comedian, he's worked with him for the past 12 years or so. Gary said that he heard a story about Greg working with Michael Richards at the Laugh Factory one time and he had one of his rants at that time. Howard had a clip from The Wrap Up Show when Greg was on a few months ago. Greg said that Michael Richards was yelling out Jew comments at the club to some woman in the front row. Greg said his performance art phase was kind of odd.
Gary was going to try and track down Greg to get him on the show to talk about that. Howard said he doesn't think that Richards has much of an act and that's the kind of stuff he does. Artie said he doesn't think the guy is a racist, he was just trying to be shocking in a way that just didn't work.
Howard read another e-mail about Artie where someone complained about him using the N-word from that old show from Las Vegas where he was drunk and yelling out the N-word. The writer thinks that Artie is just as bad as Michael Richards.
Howard read some mail about Scott Ferrall and that led to Robin talking about how on fire he was yesterday. Scott called into the Wrap Up Show after the regular show and continued to go off on Sid Rosenberg. Howard had to go to break after that.
Howard said he was trying to tell Fred a personal thought but he put his headphones back on and didn't hear him. Fred was having problems with his voice and said he had a bit of a cold. Howard said he wouldn't know because Fred speaks so infrequently.
Lisa G came in with her Howard 100 News preview. She said that Penny Crone got an interview with Sam Simon who said he has worked with Michael Richards and said that he had a script thrown at him by the guy. He apparently told her that Richards is a very angry person. Howard said he thinks that's the guy's act doing stuff like that.
Lisa G said that on Page 69 they will have an interesting story about Sal hitching a ride home with Jon Hein and how he doesn't chip in to help pay for the costs. Lisa said they'll be talking about a special video of Beetlejuice that's available on the web now.
Gary came in and told Howard it's someone they like making fun of on the show. That led to the guys talking about Richard Simmons and how he was on the show last week. Howard got back to the Mystery Record again and tried to figure out who it was. Gary just told them that it was Steven Segal. Howard said he didn't think he sounded that bad in the song. Everyone seemed to be surprised that it was him.
Howard said that Richard Christy's dad left him another message recently where he talks about falling into a beaver hole. He played the clip and Mr. Christy said he slipped into a river and fell into a beaver hole and got stuck. He lucked out and there was no beaver in there so he didn't get bit.
Mr. Christy talked about how he was going to have a lot of coon dicks this year. Howard said that he likes that this guy is out hunting like people used to do so many years ago. He's living the simple life, not waiting in line for a Playstation 3 as Robin pointed out.
Robin seemed to think Howard was out of his mind with that stuff but he continued to talk about how men lose interest in all of that stuff. He said that Robin never hit the wall because she never had kids. Normal women do hit that wall when they have kids according to Howard. The woman said that she's breast feeding so Robin told her that a man doesn't want to see that and won't want to be with her during times like that.
The woman, Kari, said that she's still good looking and she's getting back into shape but her husband just doesn't want her. She said she had to stop having sex when she was at about 7 months pregnant. He was still doing her up until that time. Howard said that guys getting new chick is the best thing and that's what a guy is going to look for after his wife has a baby.
Howard said that he has been in a relationship with Beth for a long time now. He's still enjoying sex with her but he's read Bill Maher's book where he talks about how living with one person for your whole life is crazy. It's just not possible for some people to stay with just one person. Robin said that women want that but guys might not be interested in it.
Kari said that she has tried dressing up for her husband but he just shows no interest. She said that he doesn't even want her to blow him. Artie told her to put on one of her Victoria's Secret slips and then drive her husband to a whore house. Robin told her that her body is a different thing right now so it's probably freaking the guy out.
Howard said that when his kids were born it was really tough to handle because there was so much pressure to support them and all of that. He told the woman to call him back in 2 months to ask him about it. Kari said that her husband used to make time for her but now he doesn't do it. He's just lost interest in her.
Howard said that guys have these kids but some of them end up not taking care of them at all. He said they have no idea what it's going to do to their wives when they rush into having kids. Artie said that's the way he thinks and he just wants them not to talk to him until they can play catch.
Howard let Kari go and took another call from a guy who was rambling about nothing. Howard hung up on him and another guy said that he knows of some shots that might help that woman out... Shots of Jack Daniels. Howard also said that there's a new birth control pill out there that will stop production of sperm for men but he doesn't believe that it could work. He said he could never take something like that because you don't know what else it's doing to your body other than killing off your sperm for a few hours.
Robin said that there are a lot of birth control products out now that can stop a woman's period for long periods of time. Howard took another call from a woman who said she has no problem with her husband and they started having sex right after the baby was born. Howard said there are a lot of variables in relationships like that and it could be many things that are keeping that guy from banging his wife. Guys are very visual and they don't want their wives getting big and not being the skinny chick they married.
The woman said that it is very tough having a baby and she has to put a lot of effort into making the marriage work. Howard took another call from a guy who said that he's been married for 15 years and he can't wait to get home to fuck his wife. He said there must be something wrong with that chick like maybe an odor or something.
Howard said he's still happy in his 7 year relationship with Beth. He knows that their heads would burst if they put kids into the mix. The caller said that he has two kids but he still loves his wife and wants to bang her. She once finished blowing him before going to feed the kid who was crying.
Richard came in and said that the band is pretty popular. Howard played a few tracks and had everyone laughing at how bad the singing was. It sounded like a goof but it wasn't. Gary came in and said that he was on their web site and they've canceled part of their tour because they're back in the studio coming up with some new stuff.
Richard said that there was one band who performed like that and they didn't even have lyrics, they just had a guy making noise in that low, strange voice.
Howard said the band is pretty good but that voice is tough to take. He played a few seconds of just about every track off the album. Gary said he was on their web site and they have a box set which spans their whole 10 year career. Howard thinks that he could sing like that if he had some backing music. Howard thought the singer sounded a little bit like Cousin Brucie. That led to him talking about Brucie who came up to him the other day there at SIRIUS and shook his hand. He said Brucie is friendly now that they're working together at SIRIUS.
Howard did some of his Cousin Brucie impression and goofed on him a little bit. He said that Brucie is on the 50s channel there at SIRIUS. He said he can't listen to that music. He said he really hates 50's music but Artie said he kind of likes Chuck Berry.
Howard got back to the Six Feet Under songs and listened to some Purple Haze. Fred was playing dog barking sounds as they played that song. Howard also played a Riley Martin song parody and a Michael Richards song parody to the tune of Green Day's American Idiot. He then went into a prank call that Big Foot Mark and Blue Iris made to a guy who was looking for ducks. They told the guy they had ducks in Blue's ass. The two of them were trying to pick the guy up and he started to play along with them for a short time.
Richard said that he had to thank a fan who sent them a list of people who like to buy and sell stuff, that's where they got that guy's number. Howard said he had to take another break but they have the Mexican Delivery Guy game coming up next.
Howard had another Garver interview with some rap group called French Eyeball. Garver had them describe Howard in one word but they had to use 3 words... Off the Chain. They seemed to know what they were talking about but Howard and Robin weren't quite sure. Garver was having some trouble getting his lines out as well. He asked the guys what they were talking about when they said Howard was off the chain. They basically said that it means that he's great.
Howard said that Garver got an interview with a teen group called The Cheetah Girls. Garver asked them if they think that the Pussycat Dolls teach young girls that they have to be sexy to be famous. They answered that and also said that Paris Hilton is very talented. The girls thought that Michael Richards use of the N-word was wrong and all talked over each other as they were answering.
Angelique has been in 12 movies and she's only been in porn for about a year now. She said she likes doing all girl and boy/girl and sometimes boy/boy/girl. She said she likes to give guys blow jobs and to dominate guys in the movies as well. Howard didn't seem to have a problem understanding what she was saying but Robin may have missed some of it.
Angelique said that she doesn't do all of that kind of stuff in her private life, she keeps it to the movies. Howard read that she won't do black guys so she said that the only reason is that some black guys in porn have huge penises and she can't handle the size. She has done black guys in her private life though.
Howard asked her what the perfect sized penis is. She said that she just shot a video with a guy who was like 10 inches but she wasn't sure if it was going to work out but it did. Howard read that she was a stripper for a while and eventually got into the porn thing.
Howard quickly moved on to the Mexican Delivery Guy game. They called up for some deliveries and had some guys show up with food. The first guy came in but they needed an interpreter to help them out. Howard asked the guy some questions about his life and found out he is into women. Then he asked the guy if he would rather have a $20 tip or squeeze Angelique's breasts. The guy had to think about it for a short time. Howard had her take her top off to tease the guy. Artie said that she had some big French torpedoes on her chest.
Howard asked the first player what he wanted to do. He said ''I dunno...'' Then he chose the $20 tip instead. He said that he might have a problem with his manager if he does squeeze her breasts. The interpreter said it was a legal issue and he didn't want to risk it.
Howard tried to entice him some more by telling the guy he could grab her ass after she takes down her dress. Howard had her take off her dress to show what she was offering. Howard asked the guy what he thought about her ass and he said it was a beautiful ass. Howard told him that he could squeeze her boobs and ass or take the money. The guy was very dedicated to his job and said he had to take the money.
Howard thanked the guy for coming in and let him go. He said he was shocked that the guy didn't take the opportunity to feel her up. Howard said he would have done it if he were that guy. She offered to go over to him to let him feel her up but he just kept going and ignored the offer.
Howard read that Angelique has a foot fetish so he asked her about that. She said that she has a pedicure every week and likes to take care of them with a massage and things like that. He asked her if she has had guys masturbate on her feet. She said that hasn't happened but guys have paid to touch her feet. Howard said he doesn't understand that fetish at all. He would never masturbate to a woman's foot or pay to massage her feet.
Howard asked Angelique what other weird shit she gets into. She said she's really not into that many strange things. Howard asked Gary if they had any more delivery guys coming up. Gary said they have another one coming up but he wasn't there yet. He heard that she wanted to ride the Sybian but when Howard asked her about it, she had no idea what it was. Will said he said that maybe she would want to ride it, he didn't say that she would ride it.
Howard showed Angelique the Sybian and she decided she would give it a try. She went over and hopped on the machine with her underwear off. Howard told her to give them her real feelings as she was riding it. She took it for a ride but wasn't feeling much at first. Gary turned up the speed and she started feeling it but she kept talking and talking. Howard had Gary turn it up even more. She started squeezing her breasts and laughed as it was vibrating her. She said it was a little ticklish to her.
Angelique had Gary turn it up to full speed. She was still laughing at it because it was tickling her. She must not have been on the right spot or something. She felt it was too strong at one point so they had to knock it down a little bit. She said it would take her about 15 minutes to get off on that machine.
Howard said they didn't have another delivery guy so he was going to wrap up with her. He gave her a plug for her web site and then went to break.
Howard said he's thinking of suing a magazine that showed a picture of what was supposed to be Tiger Woods' wife but it turns out it was just her face on another model's body. He said that's just wrong. Howard said that he heard Scott Ferrall talking about beating off to those pictures so he could probably join that lawsuit as well.
Howard said that David Hinkley wrote an article about him while they were on vacation and basically made it seem like he's failed in his move to satellite. He said he was going to ignore it but his math was all off. They ended up printing a retraction the next day about the math but no one is going to read it because of where they put it. He said there's a bias against him and the fact that he's not failing. They refuse to say anything nice about him. Hinkley has written some things about him that he would consider ''fair'' but that's about as far as he'll go.
Howard read a story about an Iraqi comedian who was killed over in Iraq. The guy was shot in the head 3 times on his way to work. He apparently pissed off the wrong people doing his comedy over there. Howard said that this is what freedom has brought to that country.
Howard had a bunch of various clips to play. He whipped through a few short clips and then played a Mike Walker bit they put together using clips from Dateline where they catch people who are trying to have sex with young children. They had clips of Mike in place of the pedophiles that they were catching. Robin said she liked the Ronnie one better. Howard played that one for her after playing the Mike Walker clip.
Howard mentioned that they have a picture up on his web site of Gary's face on Richard Simmons' body. He said it was pretty funny and everyone should check it out.
Howard said he's really into this chess playing right now and there's this guy playing a computer they call Deep Fritz. The guy was playing the game and ended up getting check mated in a way that just about everyone saw coming except for this guy who is like the best player out there. Artie said that he'd like to get into that game but he's got some paint that he wants to watch dry instead.
Howard said it was remarkable that this guy didn't see the check mate coming because even he saw it. He said he'd like to read an interview with the guy to see what he was thinking when he blew that game. That led to the guys talking about Bobby Fisher and some other famous chess guys. Gary came in and said that there was a whole article about it and it was really funny to read about it.
Howard said that the guy's name is Vladimir Kramnik. He read the article that Gary brought him and the guy had no explanation for his move. Howard still found it hard to believe that a guy that good could screw up the game like that. Robin said that's what the game is all about.
Gary said that he was asked to show up and introduce Dice at this party. He said this guy's house is spectacular. He said it had to be 15-20,000 square feet of house. His wife came with him and saw a kitchen on one side of the house and the guy told her to turn the other way where the kitchen continued. They also have a sub kitchen where they do the food preparation so they don't mess up the other one.
Gary said the house was really beautiful. He said he got there and was snuck in the back of the house. He sat down and watched some football and then Dice showed up. They hung out while the party goers were eating and stuff like that. Gary said the foyer of the house is where the stage was set up and there were only about 40 people there. Gary wasn't sure if Dice got the $40,000 that Artie was offered. Artie said he hopes he did.
Gary said that the guys were asked to take a tour of the house but Gary and Dice had to stay in that room. Gary said that Dice has to walk around with a digital camera because he's doing this reality TV show and he has to tape himself. Gary said it was really bizarre to hang out with him and have him flipping the camera back and forth.
Howard said that Dice was doing that back in the days when he was hanging with him. He took the camera to the houses they'd look at and tape himself all the time.
Gary said he did the introduction for Dice at the party. There are only 40 people there. His wife was there, his parents were there and some of his other family members. That didn't stop Dice from doing his material though, he was doing all kinds of stuff about the people who were there.
Gary said Dice was actually very nervous about doing a small party like that. He wanted to do a good job and he was worried about what might happen. He actually did 40 minutes there. Gary said the party was great and they had some great food there.
Artie said the guy has to have a shitload of money to be able to offer him $40,000 to do the party. Gary said the guy made all of his money on his own too. He was also saying that the bathroom he was using was enormous.
Artie said that Dice is shooting this reality TV show and he may be part of it because he was being shot up in New Hampshire a couple of months back.
Howard said that Bubba and his crew are going to do this thing where they're going to take a ton of Ex-Lax and see who can hold it in the longest without shitting. He said Bubba's mother called in and started talking shit with her son when they were on that subject. He said it's a weird scene over there on Bubba's show.
Howard talked about the time when they all put on diapers and pissed in them. He said Gary had this really weird smile on his face when he was pissing his diaper.
Robin told Howard to play a clip from The Bachelor because it was so gay that she thought that she might be able to shame Howard into not watching it anymore. Howard played the clip where the guy in the show told the woman he picked that he couldn't marry her. Howard played a couple of other clips from the show and one of the girls he picked just sounded really dopey... and she's a school teacher. Another woman was crying as she was talking about how much she wants this guy. Howard said he loves when these women get rejected and start crying over it. They don't even know the guy and they're crying when he turns them down.
Howard said the thing that was horrible was when Bing Crosby and David Bowie did that Christmas song together. He liked the song but it kind of sucked that Bowie did it with such an asshole. That led to him talking about Bing Crosby and an interview he did with Barbara Walters years ago where he talked about his kids. He also talked about the interview Barbara did with Sean Connery where he talked about slapping a woman to put her in her place when it needs to be done. He had an audio clip from that interview so he played that and goofed on him a little bit.
Howard played some more of Billy Idol's ''Happy Holidays'' CD. He and Robin remembered the last time they saw him at one of their last K-Rock Christmas parties. The guy was trying to look like a hard core rocker but he just wasn't happening. Robin said she didn't want to go through the holidays now that she's heard this album.
Gary told Howard to play the fifth track on the album because it shows that Billy just can't sing. Howard played that and then had to wrap up and go to break.
Howard said the morning went by really quick this morning. He said that he had a contest winner in the studio to watch them work. This woman donated some money to charity (Nordoff Robbins) to get into the studio. Howard spent a minute talking to her and said that she was pretty hot.
The woman, Kim, said that she donated the money to a music therapy charity. Howard wondered what's wrong with the kids who can't calm down. Gary said he thinks they're autistic kids. Howard said something about autism being the kids who wear helmets and bang their heads against the wall. He asked her if she works in that field or something. She said she doesn't and she just wanted the chance to come up and meet Howard and the guys.
Kim said she works in the public relations field. She makes enough money that she can give that three grand up. Howard tried to find out how much she makes and figures it has to be over $150,000 a year. She wasn't saying exactly what she makes though. She said she went to Florida State so Howard spent some time talking about that saying that all female students have to wear bikinis at that school.
Howard and the guy asked her if she banged any black guys when she was in school. She said she didn't date any and only made out with a black guy. Artie and Gary were asking her about this guy Charlie Ward that she graduated with. Kim said that it was definitely worth the three grand to come up to the studio when Howard asked her about it.
Gary told Howard that he had one more Christmas Mystery Record to play. The song is so bad that it's only being released in one country. They had a touch time tracking it down to play it on the show. Howard took a bunch of guesses but couldn't come up with the answer. Gary said it was Heidi Kluum and it's only out in Germany.
Howard ended up talking about Heidi Kluum's guy Seal and that crap he has on his face. Gary said that the guy tells a different story about where that stuff came from. At one point he said that he thought he looks like he got poked ''under the eye'' which led to Howard goofing on him about his dopey comment.
Kim said that she actually met Howard one time but she couldn't say where it was because that would give up the information about where she works. Gary knew what she was talking about and wrote down where Howard met her. Howard said it was nice having her in there and asked if she has a boyfriend. She said she has one who she's been with for 8 years. She's not looking to get married though. She said that she's kind of in that Oprah Winfrey and Stedman phase.
Howard talked to Kim about the music therapy thing while he was playing some of that Six Feet Under music he was playing earlier in the show. He spent a little more time talking to Kim and playing more of that Six Feet Under stuff.
Robin ended up telling Howard a story about this kid she saw a report about who taught himself to play the Cello and has written all kinds of music. She said it was really amazing and he apparently has music in his head all the time.
Howard was still thinking about this charity and wondered if music really can calm a kid down. He wanted to get some autistic kids in there to see if it actually works.
Steve said that they'll have an interview with Cabbie about the things he has going on in his life. They're also going to be checking out Chocolate Singles which is a dating service that Robin said she used many years ago.
Jon Hein came in with his Wrap Up Show preview. He mentioned that they'll be talking about Angelique Morgan's visit. They'll also be talking about the music that Howard was playing and the mystery records that were played during the show. Jon went through a couple of other things that they'll be covering before Howard let him go.
Howard had Robin get to her news but a short time later he was replaying some of the stuff that he played earlier in the morning. He played the phone call that Daniel Carver, Wendy the Retard and Gary the Retard had about the Michael Richards thing. He also replayed some of Sal's interviews from up in Harlem.
Howard said that Cabbie has been calling in at the worst time these days. He was on the phone wanting to talk to him but he wants to get out of there at a decent time. He told Gary to let Cabbie know that he should call in between 6 and 9, not at 10:15.
Howard picked up Cabbie's call anyway and said that he doesn't want to be there until 11:15 every day. Cabbie said he's got food poisoning today and has been shitting his ass off so he's not even at work today. Cabbie said that he's having this comedy show event for him and he wanted to get in a plug. He asked Artie if he could put him on the bill. Artie said he can and he will do the show on December 20th at Don Hill's in New York City. Cabbie said that tickets go on sale tomorrow.
Robin wondered why Ralph hasn't been calling in lately. Howard said that he's in Hawaii glomming off of Sam Simon for a week. He said that Ralph will move on his action and he's not sure what's in it for Sam Simon. Artie said he's been invited out there too but he hasn't been able to make it. Artie said that Norm MacDonald is out there with them as well.
A little later on during the news the guys were talking about Jesse Jackson's comments on the Michael Richards situation and how Jackson is a racist himself. He's made a few racist comments in public over the years.
Howard went into his Dana impression a little bit late in the news and asked Artie if he would have a problem if one of the other guys on the show started to date her. Benjy's name came up so Artie said he likes Benjy but someone he knows dating Dana just wouldn't be cool. Howard had Robin finish up her news and ended the show around 10:50am.
Howard started off the show saying that he heard from Paul Mooney who is dropping the N-word from his act so that's big news for when he comes on next. Artie said he won't be dropping it from his act. He doesn't think anyone is paying attention to what he does so he can slip under the radar with that.
Howard said that he was reading an article about how XM and SIRIUS are in talks about merging but he's not sure if that's really a story or not. He said that the stories are usually in someone's blog and not really a big story. He's not sure what the future holds but he's not sure if they will ever merge the two companies.
Howard said he was listening to Bubba's show and they were having some kind of shitting show where all of the guys were taking laxatives and stuff to see who could hold out longer. He didn't hear it himself, he got his news from Ronnie the Limo Driver who heard it. Howard said he wanted to hear it but he had to get out of his car before he did. Howard said that Ronnie told him that one of the guys threw up from the stink in the studio.
Howard said that Gary gave him a card from this guy he started out with in the business and now he's selling real estate. He said this guy Ted Utz is now doing the real estate thing instead of working in radio and he finds it kind of strange when that happens.
Robin said that Ted bad mouthed WNEW when he left the station years ago and that may have been the biggest mistake of his career. Gary told Howard that he left a message on his machine one time years ago and Howard ended up getting really upset with the guy. Robin said she was talking about the guy bad mouthing his old radio station, not Howard. Robin said that Mel Karmazin shunned the guy after he bad mouthed his radio station because it was literally Mel's station at the time.
Howard said they had this woman Donna Fiducia that they used to work with and they really liked her. They ended up getting fired from NBC and moved to K-Rock and they refused to hire her because she once bad mouthed Mel on the air. Gary remembered the story and said that it was some little comment after Howard had made his own comments about Mel. Howard said Mel didn't have a problem with him bad mouthing him but he did have a problem with Donna doing it.
Gary said that Mel holds a grudge and once talked about a former employee in front of someone else because he didn't want to talk to the guy. It was Andy Bloom who was trying to talk to him and Mel said that he was feeling a breeze on his neck but he wasn't sure what it was, right in front of Andy who used to work for the company.
Gary said that Mel doesn't like people who leave the company and he lets them know it. Howard said he feels the same way about some people. There are others that he still likes though, like Robin Radzinski, Mark Cronin and others. There are some who leave the right way and others who don't.
Artie said that he had to quit to go work in show business and his boss at the time wondered what he was going to do. He had to make sure that it was okay with the guy because he seemed so upset that he was leaving. The guy was basically trying to tell him that he had no business leaving the job with no college education. Artie said he had to go though.
Howard said that Jackie left the show but he really doesn't feel bad about the guy, he still loves him. He said he doesn't want to say he did him a favor but he kind of did. He said he understands why Jackie left and really doesn't have a problem with him now. Gary said he thought that Howard had issues with Jackie and didn't want to socialize with him for years. Howard said that wasn't the case, it seemed to be coming more from Jackie than from him.
Howard said that things got weird with him and Stuttering John but he doesn't dislike him. He also said that Scott Einziger has written him a couple of times saying that he thinks that he made a mistake leaving the show the way he did. Howard said he wrote the guy back but he wasn't sure how to get that relationship back on track so it may never happen. He said he told Scott he has no hard feelings but he's not good at repairing things like that so he might not be able to get past those feelings that he was betrayed by Scott.
Gary asked Howard about the Scott Einziger thing and said that he felt a sense of weirdness when he left. Scott ended up going to the show The Amazing Race and Howard didn't think it was going to succeed... but it's still on to this day.
Gary said that for months after Scott left, Howard would crack jokes about him. Howard said it did bother him that he left because he was a friend and he was sad to see him go. Artie remembered it being quite a bit of goofing on Scott when he first started. He didn't know the guy all that well but remembers that it was like a full week of goofing.
Gary asked Howard if he had a hard time with Scott leaving. Howard said he did but he wasn't really angry. Robin said he was angry and it came out on the air that way. Howard said Scott thought he was mad at him but he really wasn't. He said Scott got upset that he didn't keep in touch after he left but that's because he's not around the station anymore and he's 3,000 miles away in California. Howard said he never called the guy before he left so why would he call after? Stuttering John was the same way according to Howard. He said that John got upset that he didn't keep in touch with him after he left. Howard says that's because John is so far away.
Howard said he doesn't go to dinner with anyone socially during the week. Gary said that John told him he tried to make plans on the weekend one time. Howard said they invited him over one time but John couldn't make it because he was too busy.
Gary heard that Howard was once approached to tape something for Stuttering John for Ross' wedding but he turned it down. Howard said he was never asked to do that, but if he was, he wouldn't have done it anyway. Artie said he did that tape and it really was awkward.
Howard said that John seems to think he's more important than he really is because he thinks that he's all busted up with him leaving. He said that's not the case. Robin said that John hasn't kept in touch with him much over the past few years because John got kind of weird with her right before he left the show. Gary said John was all over the place that week before he left.
Robin said that Howard says that but he would probably never talk to him again. Howard said he had to do that because Artie had said something on the air about how he might be rejected if he did leave the show. Howard said he would be hurt if Artie left but he's done nothing wrong if he does want to go in a different direction.
Howard read some of the mail about Artie's FOX deal. One guy thinks that Artie will be the next Jackie and will leave and fail. The guy said that no one will support him if he leaves the show. Another e-mailer said that if Artie leaves it will be the biggest mistake in his life. He has no future according to that person.
Howard read a bunch of other e-mails. People think that he's nuts if he does leave the show because he will just fail like he's failed with so many other TV shows and movies. One person said that the only thing Artie will be able to do is explode from overeating.
Artie said that those e-mails make him want to leave the show even more now. Robin asked him what's going on because yesterday he was sleeping on the show. He had his eyes closed through a lot of the show. Howard said he wants to be honest with Artie and said that the show should be 4 hours long but they always go over and he kind of gets it when Artie zones out.
Artie said that he was up late last night because he wasn't able to sleep. He said he was up at like 1 in the morning. Howard said he goes to meditate when he can't sleep and it helps. Artie said he'd like to be able to do that stuff so Howard told him to go right ahead learn it because it's easy. He told him to go to the TM place in New York City.
Artie said that the Monday after vacation is the worst. He went home after the show on Monday and slept until 10:30 at night so he was up the rest of the night. Robin said that Artie was awake during the show and still contributing but he had his eyes closed. She goofed on him about that and laughed as she was describing him with his eyes closed.
Artie said that he's always had that problem and used to sleep at work on the docks. He said the guys would find him sleeping in a drum sometimes.
The caller said that he liked seeing the old Beetlejuice show where chicks were making out with him. Howard talked about that and how they have other shows in the works and they should be great. They have a whole special about the Sybian coming up soon.
John Boy called in and told Howard that he watched Beth's show ''Casino Cinema'' last night and he wasn't too thrilled with the guy who was a guest on the show. He said the guy is Mr. Eko from the show ''Lost'' and he was looking her up and down and even went in for a hug when she went to give him a high five. He thought the guy kind of grabbed a little feel of her titty. John Boy told Howard he might have to put his foot down and stop that stuff from happening. Howard said he's seen that guy and there's no way he's going to be able to stop him from doing anything.
Howard said Beth went out last night to some event so he had to beat off to get to sleep. John Boy said that he shouldn't be beating off. It's okay for the fans to have to beat off but not for Howard. Howard said he really does have to beat off sometimes to get to sleep. He said he thought he was tired enough to sleep but he figured it would help to beat off instead of taking a sleeping pill.
John Boy said that it wouldn't be hard for Howard to put his foot down and demand that Beth take care of him. Howard said he used to be like that but he's not anymore. He said that when Beth leaves him even she feels bad because she has trouble falling asleep when she doesn't go to bed at the same time.
Howard said that he had just shaved his balls last night so he was felling kind of sexy. He said he didn't shave them down all the way, he just ''Don Johnson'd'' them and left some stubble on them. He likes to have them clean for when a woman is blowing him so she doesn't have hair in her mouth.
John Boy started telling Howard about his grooming habits down there. He said he has blonde hair so it's not as noticeable down there. Howard said he was trimming up last night and has a technique down when he does that stuff.
Artie said that he had an epiphany the other day and knows that he has a couple of slam dunks around the country. He thinks that he can knock down like a dozen broads in the next 6 months. He's starting to eat healthier so he should be losing weight. He said that these chicks are like solid 8's so he's looking forward to banging a bunch of women. He's not looking for a relationship at this point.
Howard said that Howard TV had video of the guy hugging Beth last night on Casino Cinema so he watched it. His hand did linger around her stomach a little longer than it should but Howard said he didn't cop a feel. He was just keeping his hand by her flat stomach.
Artie said that he just recently saw the Michael Richards video clip from the Laugh Factory and he thought it was kind of funny because he was doing the funny moves he did as Kramer on Seinfeld but he was also yelling out the N-word. That led to Howard talking about that whole thing and said that Richards was trying to be outrageous like Lenny Bruce or something but it just didn't work.
JD told Howard they have the uncut version of the Michael Richards rant. Howard played it a short time later and listened to the whole thing. He got a few laughs out of the clip and said the guy was trying to be funny but he sounds like he's out of his mind. There were some people laughing during the whole thing so it was funny to them.
Howard did an impression of Richards and Fred played some Gilbert Gottfried laughs while he was doing it. Howard said that Richards really shouldn't worry because Mel Gibson seems to be doing okay after his racist comments. He's got a new movie coming out and they're not doing anything to hide the fact that it's his movie. He said that years ago they would have tried to downplay that. now they just say that this is ''Mel Gibson's Apocolypto.''
Howard thinks that so many people hate the Jews that they'll all go to see this new Mel Gibson movie. They may go see it twice just because it's his movie. No one was even sure what the movie was about. Robin said that even Mel can't explain what it's about.
Howard said his assistant Laura sent him a note saying that she has TiVo'd Seinfeld for the past 5 years abut since that whole thing went down with Michael Richards, she has stopped watching it. Howard said that's probably why Jerry Seinfeld got him on Letterman with him the other night. He wanted to do some damage control since their DVD was coming out around that time.
Howard thanked John Boy for calling in and was about to let him go. John Boy said that he thinks that Artie will be fine with his FOX show and all of the poon he'll be getting on this tour. Howard said that this will be like Artie's' pussy tour. Artie was saying that he can get a whore out in Vegas when he's out there and she'll look like Pam Anderson. He said it might cost him ten grand but she'll be hot.
Howard said it would be kind of cool if Eric was on that show Heroes. He then went on to goof on Eric's crazy demands. He did an impression of him asking for a colony to built on the planet Jupiter. He mentioned Katherine McPhee at one point and said that she has gotten really hot lately.
Howard said that Jimmy had a strange thought when he remembered that Britney is someone's mother. She's out partying with Paris Hilton and showing her pussy.
Howard said that he was reading about Pam Anderson and Kid Rock's break up and it seems that she's out partying all the time. He wondered who's home taking care of the kids while she's out partying. Howard read an article about their relationship and found out that Kid Rock, Bob, was taking care of his kid and Pam's kids. Howard said he has to get those two on the phone to talk about all of this crazy stuff he was reading about them.
Howard said he doesn't think that Pam Anderson has that much money. At least for how famous she is. That led to Robin saying that she's been reading about Anna Nicole Smith buying house after house down in the Bahamas and she can't imagine she's got any money either.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Howard to play a prank call that they played yesterday. Howard found the clip and played the Big Foot Mark and Blue Iris clip that the guy requested. He said he had to take a break after that.
Sam said that they were making changes to the show that week and one morning Richards showed up very angry so he tried to talk to him with this guy Spike Feresten who was running the show. Sam said he was going to say that they had some great new jokes in the script but they didn't get everything done that they wanted to. They went into a room with Spike and Richards interrupted him, said ''I knew it, you're one of them!'' and threw the script at his head. Sam said that he's never experience anything like that. He felt there was a physical threat from Richards the whole time.
Sam said that Richards quit the show when the audience was there. He was talked back to the show by an executive. Then it started eating at him that the executive was so low on the totem pole so he quit again. Then he came back when a higher up guy talked to him.
Sam said that Richards was acting very strange during the show and stood on his head in one scene where he wasn't supposed to.
Sam said there was another moment on the show when they found Richards curled up in a ball crying. He said he had to go talk to the guy because he was directing the episode. He said the guy was literally crying. He said they got through the week but they had to go back the week after to do a pick-up shot for a stunt they had done. He said the stunt guy on the show was trying to be friendly with Richards. The guy was like the voice of Michael on the set of the show. So they did this shot where Richards was going to light himself on fire. They were going to have his gloves catch fire but Richards wanted to douse himself in lighter fluid and catch himself on fire instead.
Sam said that he had to talk the guy out of lighting himself on fire that day. Sam said Richards actually did that fire thing, he wasn't able to talk him out of it. Sam said that he saw the Laugh Factory thing and figured that people were finally seeing the Michael Richards that he knew.
Howard said that Sarah Silverman was asked about the Richards thing and she didn't want to comment on it. Everyone seems to think that he's a flaming asshole and now people can see it first hand. Sam said that Richards was not allowed in the writers offices at Seinfeld from what he's heard. He was isolated from the rest of the crew over there.
Howard said that Michael Richards was the shining light on ''Fridays'' so many years ago. He said the guy was really funny on there. Artie said