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A couple of times during the interview Howard said that the whole Stump the Booey thing was throwing him off. He said he was kind of upset that he said some of the things he said. He said it ruined his day.
Howard got back to Barry and talked about how much money his contract is good for. He said it's a 6 year contract and it's worth about $17 million. He said he only got $50,000 for getting the Cy Young award. He told Howard that Pedro Martinez came in second place and got $500,000.
Howard read that Barry's father quit his job and trained him every day so he'd become a great pitcher. He also got training from Randy Jones for a while. He said when he'd screw up, Randy would spit on him.
Howard spoke to Barry about his dating life for a little while too. Barry told Howard that when he goes into spring training he has to focus all of his attention on that so women don't like that and end up getting upset. He talked about dating this Mexican soccer player.
Randy told Howard about working on the Chris Issac show and how he got to make out with some hot chick on the show. Howard asked him if he got a boner while he was doing the scene. Barry said that it's not like a real kiss because you're trying to remember you next line. Artie asked him if he got a boner after the shoot when he was banging her. Barry said he didn't bang her though.
Howard mentioned that Barry was in to promote this National Donor Day thing and said that no one was interested in that and even Barry didn't care.
Gary brought up a few interesting things about Barry during the interview. One of them was the fact that he sometimes sends his sister his scabs through the mail. Barry said the two of them just try to gross each other out.
Howard spent a couple of minutes trying to get some info out of Barry about this Mexican soccer chick he dated. Barry wasn't giving him much info though. He said he met her at her at her job when she was working at a Sushi bar. He said she wasn't all that nice to her when he first met her. They eventually hooked up with each other though.
Howard took a few phone calls for Barry and Gary threw in a couple more interesting facts about him. Gary said that he knows Barry isn't gay but he does do yoga and lights aroma therapy candles before games. He also said that Barry carries around stuffed animals and two satin pink pillows. Barry said that he used to have a stuffed animal he carried but that was just in his rookie season. Robin wanted to know about the pink pillows but he never got to that. Artie joked and said that he read that Barry once had sex with a man... but that's not gay.
Howard took a couple more phone calls and let some people ask Barry some questions. One guy asked Barry who has the biggest schlong in the Oakland A's locker room. Barry said ''Oh wow!'' and didn't really answer. Artie and the guys took some guesses but didn't get the real answer out of him. Howard gave Barry a plug for this Doner Day thing and said you can find out more at SaturnUAW.com. Howard and the guys talked about how strange that would be to have your organs donated. Howard said he'd be afraid that if he had a doner card, some guy that was trying to save his life might have an incentive to not save his life and save the life of someone who is on the edge of death. Robin thought that was ridiculous though. Howard said he could hear someone in the operating room saying ''That Howard Stern always annoyed me...'' and the next thing he knows they're removing his eyes. Howard said that he's not going to be donating anything of his. He suggested that everyone else should be a doner just in case something happens to him.
Howard gave Barry some suggestions about his career and told him not to hurt himself over the next four years. He needs to save himself so he can get the big money when this contract is up. Howard told him he has time to have fun in 20 years when he retires from baseball. Howard spent a couple more minutes with Barry before wrapping up the interview.
Howard said that Ed was a Marine and asked him if he's supporting the war. Ed said that of course he supports it. He and Howard talked about how horrible Saddam Hussein is and how they have to do this. Ed seems to think that as soon as Hussein uses chemical weapons on our troops it'll prove to those anti-war celebrities that the President is right. Ed talked about Michael Moore's speech at the Academy Awards on Sunday night. He said he blew it that night. He said he'd love to send that guy somewhere that a Marine Sergeant could get in his face and straighten him out. Howard asked Ed how many people he had to kill when he was in the Marines. Ed said he didn't specifically kill anyone. He said he was an artillery spotter so he'd be bombing positions, not specific people. Howard said he killed so many people he didn't get a chance to see them all. Ed told Howard about their strategy and stuff like that when he was fighting.
Howard said he never got to sit on the couch with him and Johnny. Ed said he's sorry about that and told Howard that he's a great broadcaster. He said he would have liked to have had him on with him. Howard said he would have kicked Johnny right in the nuts for him.He said he'd put his arm around Ed and ask Johnny why he treated Ed like a second banana all the time. He said he would have liked to have seen Johnny recover from that. Ed said he would have liked to have seen that himself. Ed told Howard once again that he's a great broadcaster which inflated Howard's ego even more. Howard agreed with him and bragged about himself for a few seconds.
Ed said that his life has come full circle now. He said he started out calling BINGO games with a traveling BINGO game when he was 16 years old. He said that now he's going to be calling another BINGO game that has a jackpot of $1 million. He said that will be taking place on April 15th and 16th at The Orleans Hotel in Las Vegas. He said he'd like to hang out with Howard in Vegas but Howard isn't going to be there until later in the month.
Howard and Ed also talked about Arsenio Hall and the new ''Star Search.'' Ed said he's happy and proud that they have brought back the show after 12 years being off the air. He said he's cool with it and isn't angry that they didn't use him. He said he understands that they want to give it a new look and not have it look like it did back then. He talked about how they think about skuing the audience young and all of that.
Ed ended up talking about these reality TV shows these days and how awful it is that they're going to be doing the Beverly Hills thing with a redneck family.
Howard asked Ed about his young wife and how that's going. Ed said things are going well and they still have sex. Howard asked him if the sex was good and he confirmed it. Robin asked if Ed does it unassisted. Ed said ''Oh yeah, unassisted.'' Robin was wondering if he uses Viagra or anything like that. He said he doesn't need it when he has the wife he has. He also said that he doesn't have to pleasure himself at all because he's got someone there to pleasure him.
Howard said Ed will also be hosting the Miss Best Bet Pageant at the same time in Las Vegas. Ed told Howard about that and said it'll be for Best Bet magazine and the winner will be on the cover.
Howard took a call from a phony Rosie O'Donnell who thanked Ed for getting her started in show business. He didn't seem to know that she was a phony.
Howard gave Ed a plug for BestBetTV.com. Ed said you can find out about the magazine and about the million dollar BINGO game while you're on the site. He said everything is there.
Howard got off the phone with Ed and said he had a lot of other stuff to get to but he'd save it for tomorrow. He said he has to get to band rehearsal because they're going to be playing against Chris Jericho's band tomorrow.
Howard played tape of Roger Ebert talking about Michael Moore on The Tonight Show last night. He said that Moore was full of it when he said it was only 5 loud people booing him when he started to make his anti-war speech.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that the U.S. is blocking TV signals over in Iraq. Howard and the guys were wondering about that earlier in the show. Howard also took a call from a woman who brought up the Iraqis who are cheering about our helicopter pilots being captured. Howard and the woman talked about that for a few seconds before Howard took a break.
Underdog Lady is upset with rumors that Disney is going to ruin the cartoon character by making a live action movie about him. According to Susan, the movie will show that Underdog got his powers from an explosion in a chemical factory. She told Howard that the creator of the character never had an explanation for that and this shouldn't happen. She was whispering on the phone becuase she was so nervous about talking to Howard. He told Susan that perhaps they should team up on this and do something about it. Susan said that she's afraid that people will forget, or refuse to believe, that she exists. Robin asked her where Underdog actually got his powers. Susan told her that they never explained that. He was ''just there.'' Gary said Susan is afraid that this could mean the end of her and the fact that she keeps the character alive. She said people may think that it's the quintisential story and will overlook her. Howard wondered if they should be consulting her for the script. Susan said that the person who does play the character may take her place. Howard said she should listen to Adam West tomorrow because he had a similar situation. She seemed to agree and said Adam begged to play Batman in the movies and was turned down.
Gary asked Howard if he thinks Underdog would be played by a male or female actor. Howard said it'll probably be a guy but it could be a woman. Susan pointed out that Sandy Duncan played Peter Pan and other people have played characters of the opposite sex. Howard said the people in the industry are very narrow minded and are looking for a big star to play the part. Howard ended up asking Susan if she'd be willing to play the part of Underdog if he made a half hour, straight to video, movie. She said she'd have to read the script to make sure it all makes sense first. Howard agreed with her and said it would be straight Underdog, no nudity. Howard said he was going to try and get an original cartoon script and perhaps, create a live action video. Howard took a call from a guy who said the Underdog movie is going to be CGI (computer graphics), not live action. He said the worst part will be the person doing the voice. Susan hung up at this point for no obvious reason. Gary went back and caller her again a short time later. Meanwhile, Howard wondered who would play some of the other parts. He also took some phone calls. One guy said that Underdog's alter-ego was Shoeshine boy and when he wanted to become Underdog, he took a pill. Howard wondered where the pills came from but the guy didn't have the answer. Artie said there were times when he took ''super energy pills'' and he flew pretty high on those. Howard said he wished Susan hadn't hung up on him. He really wants to make this movie with her. He said he'd go shoot it with E! if they'll give him the money. He said he could probably raise the money himself and have it go straight to video. He said it would be awesome.
Gary got Susan back on the phone and told her about the power pills. She sadi those were just recouperative pills and they don't explain where his powers came from. She said he didn't take them in every episode. Susan claims that someone has been filming her for the past 4 years and is putting together a movie of her dressed as a bunch of characters. Howard asked her if she'd be willing to appear in this movie if he puts it together. Susan said Howard once told her that Underdog was just a ''silly show.'' Howard told her that he's grown since then. Susan told Howard that she has revised all of the scripts to make Underdog smarter than he appeared back then. Howard wondered why she'd want to change them though. Howard offered her a great deal to do this movie but she was resisting. Howard said he'd look into the possibility of making a Broadway play out of it too. Howard asked her to make a commitment to him but she said they have this documentary coming out already. He and Robin tried to talk her out of doing that and told her that taking on Disney is going to be tough. Susan told Howard she'd have to see what he has to show her for this movie. Howard said they'd shoot it up in Toronto and asked her if she'd be able to do that. She said the character was created in the United States. Howard told her they were just doing that to save money. Susan didn't seem to like the straight to video part of the deal. Robin told her that the Olsen Twins do a ton of movies that go straight to video and they're millionaires. Howard said he'd even ask Mary McCormack to play the part of Polly and John Lithgow to play Simon Barsinister. Susan thought it might be better to have a more updated evil presense in the movie. She suggested having a drug dealer as the evil character. Susan then told Howard she had to get going. Howard tried to keep her on the phone for a few more minutes. She sat and listened to Howard as he told her about what he'd do with the movie. She eventually hung up on Howard when he continued to beg her for an answer. Howard said he's going to give up on it if she's going to be like that. Howard told Gary to get her back on the phone again.
Vinnie Favale from CBS called in and told Howard that he has the name of the guy who is producing the movie. He said he'd give it to him off the air. Howard said he'd go to that guy and ask him for the rights to do this half hour short. Howad was about to take a break but Gary got Susan on the phone once again. She hung up but he was able to get her again a minute later. Susan told Howard that he just kept going on and on after she told him she'd look at whatever he puts together. Howard apologized to her about that and let her go off on him for a minute. He spent a coupel more minutes talking to her about what he's going to do and let her go. A listener called in and said he has to make that video happen. He said he'd buy 20 copies. Howard said he never thought he'd be working on a project like that with Susan after she got mad at him and refused to come on his show for ten years. Howard took a break shortly after that.
Howard took a call from a woman who wondered when the Bon Jovi Bukkake Party is going to happen. Howard explained how the idea came about a few months ago and how Tom Chiusano told him that they couldn't call it a ''Bukkake'' party. Howard said it became a big problem after that. Howard said Tom is micro-managing everything too much on the show so he ended up going above his head to Mel Karmazin. Howard said he asked Mel to ship Tom off to L.A. and send this guy Bob Mohr in from L.A. To work at his station. Howard said he told Mel that there's not even a real definition for ''Bukkake'' and even Mel doesn't have a problem with them calling it a Bukkake party. Howard said he doesn't want to have to discuss everything with Tom. He said every time he wants to do something, Tom gets involved and screws it up. He said that years ago Johnny Knoxville wanted to come on and stun gun himself before he was on MTV doing Jackass. Howard said Tom wouldn't let that happen so they missed out on that. Howard said now he thinks that Tom knows that he was wrong about the Bukkake party but he won't admit to it. Apparently Tom is afraid they won't be able to sell commercials for that show as long as they're calling it a Bukkake party. Howard said it's really aggravating and annoying to deal with. Howard said he eventually just told Tom that they're canceling the event. He said it's just not fun and he's not going to change the name.
Howard also said that Tom lied to him and said he spoke to other program directors about selling the show and they agreed that it would be hard to sell. Howard said he checked with them and they never spoke to Tom.
Tom showed up and said he never lied to Howard and he did speak to those program directors. Tom said he was told they'd have trouble selling it but Howard heard that they didn't. Howard said he didn't speak to them directly. They spoke to a third party and told them they didn't have a problem.
Howard asked Tom to just retire already. He brought up last year's company Christmas party and how Tom told him no one was interested in having one after 9/11 but he may have lied about it. Tom said they're having one this year. Howard suggested that Tom not show up to that party.
Howard and Robin both went after Tom and wondered what the problem was. Howard continued to say there is no meaning to the word Bukkake. Robin asked Tom why they have to even mention it's a Bukkake party to advertisers. She asked why they don't just say they have a promotion to do and leave it at that.
Howard said he wants to retire already after dealing with this stuff for so long. Howard said he looked in the mirror the other day and saw that he looks horrible. He said it's because of Tom and if he didn't have to deal with him, he'd be in better shape. He then went on to say that he thinks he's going to look into getting out of his contract due to the ringing in his ears. He said he's going deaf just like Rush Limbaugh and he wants out. He said he's going to talk to Mel and try to get out.
Howard took some phone calls from people and one guy gave him the definition of Bukkake. He said that it's ''the act of pouring over'' and it doesn't mean anything dirty. Howard reminded Tom what a genius he is and yelled at him for a couple more minutes. Howard said it really is time for him to get out of radio. He said he's even sick of himself. Tom told Howard that he has 38 months left in his contract so he'll be around until the end of 2005. Howard thought he was going to be done at the end of 2004. Howard and the guys ended up trying to figure out just how much longer Howard had left to go. Even Robin wasn't aware of that and didn't know they were going to be around until 2006. Gary told Howard that if he saves up his vacation and doesn't take any until the summer of 2005, they could be out of there by then. They could just use the vacation for the rest of that year.
At one point there was this high pitched noise that came from nowhere. Howard and the guys couldn't figure out where it was coming from so Scott the Engineer had to come in and figure it out. It was an intercom that was open and there was feedback coming through that was deafening. They fixed the problem and Gary said he's never heard anything like that on any other radio show.
Howard went off on Tom for a little longer and said that they Bon Jovi Bukkake Party has been officially canceled. Howard said Tom lost the fight against his suit but he won't lose this fight. He ended the discussion and took another break.
Shuli was also wondering who on the show has the most and least sex. Howard said he thinks that Gary probably has the least. Gary said he's probably right about that. He spent a little while talking about how his wife is in a book club now so she doesn't make much time at night to have sex with him. He said he's told her that he's the book she should be finishing. Howard ended up talking about how he hates reading books and he doesn't know why anyone would read when they can watch TV and movies. Gary said that his wife's book club is like 20 women who get together. He said sometimes it seems like it's just an excuse for 20 women to get together to have dinner. Howard spent some time talking about the wives of the guys on the show. (Snipped)
Rob talked a little bit about his days on Saturday Night Live and how some of the stuff he did on there was embarrassing to him. He said he tried to make it work but it was tough. Rob mentioned Adam Sandler's name during that discussion and Howard said that he's not really a fan of his but he is a fan of his dog. He talked about how Adam sat behind him on a flight one time and didn't say a word to him. Howard said he really doesn't care if he's liked or not. Howard said Sandler isn't his type of comedian and he doesn't get his stuff. Rob said he's the kind of guy you have to watch over and over before you get it. Howard said he just doesn't have time to do that though. Howard brought up ''Deuce Bigelow'' again and said it was really funny and he knows that Sandler had his hand in that. They spent a couple more minutes talking about Sandler but Howard got back to Rob's career. He also pointed out that Rob just married a 20 year old. Howard said he finds that a perfectly reasonable age spread. Rob is like 39 and she's only 20. He met her when she was only 19 years old. Rob said her parents have the same age spread so they don't have a problem with it. Rob said she didn't return phone calls for over a month but he eventually got her. Howard pointed out that she hasn't dated that many guys so that might be a problem. Rob said he doesn't want to date anyone in show business.
Howard read that Rob stole one of Hugh Hefner's girlfriends one time. Rob said he's good friends with Hef and everything has been smoothed out over that situation. Howard told Rob about how one of the playmates was talking to him when he did a show from the Playboy mansion and told him that Hef doesn't like them talking to anyone. Howard said Hef came running over when he saw her with him and took her away.
Rob wanted to correct some stuff Eddie Griffin said when he was on the show not too long ago. He claimed that he ad libbed some of the stuff in ''Ace Bigelow'' that he really didn't come up with. Rob gave credit to the guys who actually wrote the lines but said that he does like Eddie and they'll use him in the next Ace Bigelow movie. He said that movie will be called ''Deuce Bigelow, Electric Giggalo.'' Howard said he'll be there to see that one.
Howard took some phone calls for Rob and let some people ask him a couple of questions. Howard then got back to his notes about Rob and some of the women he's dated. Howard had some stuff that wasn't true but there were some women that were interesting. Howard read that Rob was married to a model many years ago. Rob said he had a daughter with her and she's now 13 years old. Robin said that his new wife and his daughter aren't that far off in age. Rob joked that he buys them the same toys and CDs.
Howard spent a little more time talking to Rob about the movie and how much he needs to make so he can keep making movies. He said he needs to make something in the $20 million range. Rob told Howard the plot of the movie and how goofy that is.
Howard spent a little more time talking about Rob's days on Saturday Nigh Live and how he didn't like it all that much. He talked about how they didn't always put on the funniest stuff each week. He said if Mike Meyers had a movie out they'd put him in a skit that might not be that funny.
Howard read about one incident where Rob quit a movie because he was dropped on his head. Rob told Howard what happened and how the movie was made a few years later and it went straight to video. He said the director made another actor tackle him really hard and it screwed up his back. He ended up going to the doctor and quit the movie. He said they threatened to sue him over it but nothing ever happened. Howard spent a few more minutes with Rob and then wrapped up the interview.
Howard moved on to Mr. Skin (MrSkin.com) and played a new Mr. Skin Minute. In the clip Mr. Skin gives us the latest ''Skinfo'' about female nudity in upcoming movies. Mr. Skin said that Heather Graham is appearing nude in an upcoming movie called ''Killing Me Softly'' and she has a nice set. Mr. Skin said he get preview copies of DVDs and movies now that he's become so big. He also gave Howard some other movie info and then Howard played the Mr. Skin Minute. In the clip Mr. Skin says the only nudity in ''The Santa Clause 2'' is Santa's sack. In the Sean Penn movie ''The Weight of Water'' Elizabeth Hurley rubs an ice cube over her naked body... 24 minutes in. Mr. Skin goes on to say that on the new DVD release of Spider-Man the movie you get to see Kirsten Dunst's wet blouse which features some amazing ''Pokieosity.'' In the straight to video movie Spider's Web Kari Wuher shows her breasts.
After playing the Mr. Skin Minute Howard moved on to Wass who is appearing in the interactive play Birdy's Bachelorette Party which is Stuttering John's wife's little creation. Howard said he saw Wass there at the show and tried talking to him but Wass stayed in character. He spent a few minutes talking to him and then took a phone call about Mr. Skin. This guy called in and said Mr. Skin was on the Don and Mike show last night and said the same stuff he's been saying on today's show. Howard was kind of bummed out by that and wondered why he'd go on those other shows that want to beat Howard. Mr. Skin said he's all about Howard's show and does the other shows after Howard's show. He started on Howard's show and only gives the Mr. Skin Minute to Howard. Howard moved on to the evaluations after talking to him about that for a short time. Howard said he's going to pummel him during the next commercial break because of that. He said Mr. Skin may have to come in and let Nicole Bass beat him like a Schmo. Howard told him he had to make a choice and pick the show he wanted to be on. He said he'd pick Howard's show.
KC brought in the first woman, Gia, who ''just got her hair did'' according to him. Howard said they don't get many black women in for evaluations. She's only 19 years old and says she has some blemishes on her body that could be air brushed out for the magazine. Gia told Howard she got a burn from a curling iron which shows on her leg. Gia was having a little bit of trouble talking so Howard asked her if she had a tongue piercing because she had some trouble speaking. She didn't think it was a problem though. Howard read some more stuff about her and she thinks that she has some stretch marks on her ass but she's never been fat. Mr. Skin thought she had a great ass though. Howard had Gia show her breasts but she wasn't so sure she wanted to show Yucko who was goofing on her teeth. She had one nipple piercing and Yucko said it looked like she fell into a tackle box. He was on a roll this morning. He was goofing on Gia quite a bit. Howard moved on to the evaluations and asked Yucko his opinion. He said he'd give her a 6 rating and goofed on her small breasts. Her knees were a little ''ashy'' according to Yucko. Mr. Skin was up next and he said if she turned around she'd be perfect for Playboy. Her face was a bit ''horseish'' according to him. Wass was next and said he'd give her a 3 or 4 rating. She's thin enough but he said her feet were bad and her toes were ''busted'' looking. He said her legs are slim but he had to go with Yucko about her ashy knees. The bruises were okay but she had a bulge in her underwear which he thought was a little disturbing. Wass said she could be in Hustler or something but not Playboy.
Up next was Allie who rates herself a 8.5. She thinks the only reason she's not in Playboy because she has tattoos. Howard read that Allie is bi-sexual and has sex with the people she lives with. She talked about that and gave Howard some of the details of how that all came about. Her story wasn't all that interesting so Howard moved on and read some other stuff. Allie runs an adult web site and does bachelor parties where they play ''butt plug ring toss'' and other odd things. Howard had her show her boobs to the guys. Howard said they were pretty big. Howard quickly went to the judges and had Mr. Skin go first. He said he had a problem with her hair. He also didn't like her piercings which looked ''sleezy'' to him. He said her face was the weakest point. He said she had a lot of forehead. He gave her a 6 rating. Yucko said Mr. Skin was right about the forehead. He gave her a 7 rating and said she's not good enough for Playboy. He said something like Skanky Clown magazine might be more appropriate. Wass was next and said he liked this one. She had some camel toe that he liked. Her ass was good according to Wass but her makeup was bad. He gave her some advice on her makeup and told her she was prettier than she was making herself look. He said she could probably do Penthouse but not Playboy. Allie got in a plug for her web site ChesterMolestHer.com. Howard spent a couple more minutes with the guys and wrapped things up after that.
Another caller asked Howard what happened with that woman who was locked in the bathroom yesterday. Howard told the story once again and said the woman wrapped herself in toilet paper and ran out.
Howard asked Fred what he did last night because he seemed to be a little drunk today. Fred said he went to a club last night and there were no chicks there. He said he ended up talking to some drunk guy instead. Fred told Howard that he has some buddies he goes out with.
Howard brought up Britney Spears and asked Fred about what happened between them. Fred said they were working on some songs together and he always had a thing for her. He was really into her, but not the songs. He said the songs he wrote for her were good but she just recently said that she didn't like the songs. Howard asked Fred if it was true that he did what he told Cabbie recently. Fred said he swears on his son that it was true. Howard and Fred went through the story about how he and Britney hooked up to do these three songs he wrote. Howard tried to get as many details as possible out of Fred. Howard said Britney can't write any of her own songs so she needs Fred to write some stuff for her. Robin asked Fred how Britney dressed for work when they were together. Fred said she wore one of those skirts that hangs low on the hips and her shirt was exposing her belly. Howard told Fred that what he did was just fine and he shouldn't feel bad about anything he did. Fred said any guy in his position would have done the same thing.
Fred said they worked together for a few days on the songs he wrote. He said he thought that he was doing it for the wrong reasons. He was doing it to get in her pants. Howard asked him what the signal was that made him think she wanted to move ahead with him. Fred said he wrote her a letter to her and she ended up leaving the studio. Fred said the letter was nothing really but she ended up coming back to the studio around 3 in the morning. Fred said the letter was just a cool, sweet thing that he wrote. He said he didn't remember what it said though. Fred told Howard that Britney was sweet and she sang the songs pretty good. He said when she came back she told him she just wanted to hang out with him. He said she was wearing a see through shirt and didn't have a bra on. He said she had an entourage with her when she came back but they were pretty cool. After that they went back to Britney's house and hung out. Howard interrupted that story and asked Fred if he gave Britney any ''nose candy'' but Fred said he's drug free. He said that Britney drinks and smokes but he didn't see her doing any drugs. Howard said it seems like Britney wants to be a bad girl these days and if she wants to be really bad she should sleep with him. He said Fred is bad but he's even worse. Howard asked Fred what Britney's house was like and how he got rid of Britney's entourage. Fred told Howard that they should probably stop at this point and everyone got upset. Howard said Britney is out badmouthing him and he should tell them everything. Howard said he believes everything Fred is saying so he should let it al out. Britney is apparently denying having sex with Fred. Fred said she's not the sweet, innocent girl she seems to be. Howard said he bets that Fred banged Britney from behind. Howard thought he saw Fred nod his head but Fred said he didn't nod.
Howard said that Britney is saying that Fred is making every single thing up and she doesn't even know her. Howard went on to ask Fred some questions about how they hooked up. He gave some quick answers. Howard asked him if he banged her the first night but Fred didn't want to answer that.
Crazy Cabbie called in since he was the one who broke the story. Fred told Cabbie off mic that he ate Britney's bad place. The guys told Fred that it wasn't a bad thing and he should be proud. Fred said it was good too. Howard asked Fred if Britney had a better body than Carmen Electra. He said she does because he likes a woman to have a little bit of curve and softness. He said Carmen is a little more toned than Britney. He went on to sing some of the lyrics from one of his new songs and he pretty much says he got Britney on the first night. The guys asked him if he used a condom on her but Fred wasn't giving a straight answer. Fred claims that the relationship went on for a little while and it's kind of weird that she's denying it now. He said he talks about this stuff on his web site LimpBizkit.com and it became a big thing there. Fred said that Britney is lying about them not having a relationship and it's pissing him off. He said it's enough already. Howard said he loves this stuff though.
Howard plugged Limp Bizkit's album ''Bipolar'' which comes out in May. Howard took a couple of phone calls. One guy asked Fred if Britney's boobs are real. Fred said they are real. Fred said he can't believe all of this stuff is still going on. Gary came in and asked Fred what kind of hair cut Britney has down below. Howard guessed that she shaves it all but Fred said it's a big bush. Howard asked him if he was shocked at that. Fred said he thought it was pretty cool actually. Howard was surprised. He took a couple more phone calls and Double A called in to find out if Fred got oral from her. He wasn't answering though. Howard asked if she was loud in bed or not. Fred said this was going a little too far at this point. He said he wouldn't be talking about all of this stuff if she hadn't denied it. Howard and Fred talked about that for a few more minutes before wrapping up the interview. Gary told Howard they also wanted to plug Limp Bizkit's concert at Giants Stadium on July 8th. Howard said he'd introduce them if Fred wants.
Fred's buddy Paco came in to talk about how he's in charge of getting rid of Britney's entourage when Fred wants to hang with her. Howard asked him how he got the hillbilly cousins out of the room. He also asked Paco if he gets Fred's left overs. Paco said he doesn't get that though. Fred told Howard that Britney was very aggressive with the relationship. They spent a couple more minutes on that before Gary came in and said they're having a debate in the office on whether or no Fred and Britney actually had sex. Fred hesitated and didn't want to give a straight answer. He said he'd never let his fans down but wouldn't give a straight answer. Paco chimed in and said a quick ''Yeah.'' Gary said he could hear the guys applauding in the office.
Howard played a little bit of Limp Bizkit's new song which was about Britney and he goes off on her pretty good. Vinnie Favale called in and asked if they were in ''agreeance'' that he had sex with Britney. That was a word that Fred used up on stage at the Grammys. Fred said that he meant to say ''agreement.'' He said he doesn't know where that word ''agreeance'' came from. That led to Howard talking to Fred about his anti-war stance and a few other things before ending the interview. Howard asked Fred which pop star is next on his list. Fred said he wanted to keep that quiet. Howard also spent a short time talking about the Great White concert where the club ended up burning down. Fred said that he's raising money for the families of the people that died in that fire. Fred said that stuff like that shouldn't happen at a concert. He said they had a fan die at a concert they did in Australia and it could have been prevented. Howard wrapped up the interview after that short discussion.
Abe started to talk about some of the problems we have in this world. He said he wants to stop the many divorces we have. He said he's been married 60 years now. He said he was going to tell people how to have a good marriage. He went on to tell a joke that didn't make much sense. It was about a 10 year old boy asking his mother how old she is and how much she weighs. She tells him that it's not polite to ask stuff like that. He also asks the mother why she's divorced. She won't tell him so he finds her license and it says she's 35 years old, weighs 120 pounds and it says she got an ''F'' for Sex, that's why she got the divorce. Howard and Gilbert then proceeded to have Abe repeat that joke over and over and over again. They kept telling him they missed part of the joke or they just didn't get it. Abe would tell it over and over again while Howard, Artie and Gilbert laughed hysterically. Howard had the microphones down so Abe couldn't hear them. Howard asked Abe what the whole joke meant because he didn't really get it. He finally asked about it after Abe told the joke about 5 times. Gilbert told Abe that he didn't hear all of the joke so he asked him to tell it once again. Howard said he couldn't take it anymore. Howard said he'd love to meet this guy. He used to hang out with President Kennedy and now he's getting dicked around by Gilbert. Gilbert had him repeat the joke again when he said they wanted to record it. Howard and the guys continued to laugh as he told the joke for the tenth time. Howard said he wasn't even sure what Hirschfeld was calling in for.
Howard took a call from a woman who said she hasn't laughed that hard in a long time. Abe started to tell another story about ''Babahah Walters'' so Gilbert picked up on that and goofed on him some more. He started to tell another joke about Barbara Walters and President Clinton so they had him repeating that over and over again before he even finished it. Abe told Howard that he composed these jokes while he was in prison for 2 years. Howard and Gilbert continued to goof on the poor guy for a few minutes. Abe never did get around to plugging what he wanted to talk about. Gilbert asked him to tell his 10 year old boy joke again so Abe said he was going to start charging for it. He went ahead and told it again though. Howard told Mr. Hirschfeld that he would talk to him about the diet and his plans for the World Trade Center at a future date. Hirschfeld said he had to plug something and started talking about the divorce thing again. Gilbert kept goofing on his accent though. Abe told one last joke as Howard was trying to wrap up the call and it just wasn't working. Howard finally got him off the phone. Gilbert goofed on him a little bit more before Howard took his break. Gilbert hung around for Robin's news.
Howard talked about Artie's nose cyst for a short time with Leah. That led to them talking about Artie's eating during vacation last week. After that Howard said he was banging Beth a lot this past weekend. He said they did it about 7 time just on the weekend alone. When they were down in Barbados they were doing it to. He told Leah that he has a great love live and they've been dating for 3 years now. She seemed to think that was great.
Howard had one more story to tell about his trip to Barbados. He said that his 10 year old daughter Ashley and his girlfriend Beth were out on the beach to get their hair braided. This woman had seen Howard earlier but he wasn't around at the time. She asked Beth if she was a model and Beth said she was. Then the woman asked her which agency her boyfriend was with. She was talking about Howard. He said the woman who was doing the braiding thought that with his hair and physique, he was a model. Robin said there's no way that woman thought he was a model. Howard said his daughter heard it too and she wouldn't lie about something like that. They discussed that for a couple of minutes.
Leah follows the Scientology religion so Howard brought that up. He told Leah that he find's all religion's ridiculous so he's not picking on that one because he thinks one is better than that. He discussed that with her for quite a while. He asked her if she gets to hang out with other celebrities that follow Scientology. She seemed a little offended by that and sarcastically said that, yes, she does hang out with all the celebrities.
At one point Howard was talking about something and Artie blurted out ''Yeah, what's wrong with those people?'' and got right back to reading his newspaper. Leah picked up on that and goofed on him. They kept using that phrase over and over again for a few minutes. Leah was complaining about Artie and for some reason they mentioned movies and Artie told her he's in one. He told her he's in ''Old School'' and she didn't believe him. He had to describe the scenes he appears in and she still wasn't sure about it because she's in the movie too. She eventually said after looking at him a little more she believed his story.
Howard took a call from Chaunce Hayden who was claiming that Leah came on to him but he turned her down. He said she sent him a letter inviting him over. She said she didn't remember it though. Chaunce said it was a wonderful thing that she did and he thinks she's an amazing woman. Howard said Chaunce was saying that he could have banged her but he turned her down. Chaunce said that he has tape of her inviting him to stay at her house out in L.A. if he didn't have a place to stay. After talking about that for a short time Robin and Howard said this is like when Chaunce gets a pat on the back from Howard and then says that he was coming on to him.
Howard talked to Leah about her boyfriend and stuff like that. They talked about what her wedding might be like and ended up goofing on Scientology again. Howard moved on to ask her a bunch of other questions about her sex life and about who she's dated. Leah said her boyfriend has kids already so when she marries him they'll be hers. Robin said she's going to go nuts with those kids because they'll realize that they can get away with murder with her.
Gary ended up asking Leah what a Clay Table represents in Scientology. Leah ended up getting pissed at him and said she already explained it the last time she was on the show. The guys moved on and asked her about her hanging out with Marc Anthony last night. During that discussion they found out that Leah has her own Karaoke machine and loves to sing whatever she has in her house at night. Gary said he could probably come up with something for her to sing along to if she was willing. She didn't want to do that though. They spent a couple more minutes talking about that.
Howard asked Leah if she's ever filmed home porno with this guy she's with. She said she did do that one time and it was brutal. She told Howard how she gave the camera the thumbs up and her guy didn't like that. She also said when she saw herself going up and down she thought they looked like animals.
Howard wrapped things up and let Leah say hi to her sister Elizabeth. She told Howard that she's gorgeous when he asked if she looks as good as her. Howard asked her a few more questions about Marc Anthony and her boyfriend and checked out her stomach before letting her go. Howard told her not to ruin her body by having kids. He and Leah also talked about the Grammy awards for a couple of minutes too. They talked about how nasty Avril Lavigne is to everyone that talks to her. Howard said he saw her with Joan Rivers and she was really angry. He also brought up his Billboard Award win. Leah said that's one more than her show ''King of Queens'' has gotten. Howard told Leah that his favorite part of that Grammy show was Eminem showing up with 50 black guys.
Chaunce Hayden called back before Leah left. He had the tape where Leah apparently came on to him. He played it for everyone and she wasn't coming on to him. He tells her that he's going out to L.A. and she tells him to give them a call. Chaunce tells her that he's not sure where he's going to stay so she says that he can stay over at her place. She was just being nice to him though and you could tell from the tone in her voice. Chaunce didn't seem to get that though. Leah asked him if was on drugs or something. Howard told Leah about how he patted Chaunce on the shoulder one day and Chaunce thought he was coming on to him. Leah said she doesn't need Chaunce and wouldn't have come on to him. Gary said that Chaunce was the one who brought up staying at her house. She wasn't the one who brought it up. Howard ended up hanging up on Chuance a minute later. He took another call from a guy who had questions about the Scientology thing for Leah. He talked about that for a short time and Howard wrapped up the interview right after that.
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Howard sent Allison to the bathroom and told her she had to get completely naked. Howard told her that was Carl's fault and if she didn't get completely naked, he'd kick them out of there. Carl told her not to worry so she took her clothes off. Howard asked her if she wanted a drink or something to calm her down. She said it was a little early for that.
Howard got to the game once they got Allison's clothes. Howard explained the rules to Carl and got ready to play. Howard plays 5 songs and both Gary and Carl have to write down the name of the song and the artist that performed it. The songs are mostly from the 1980's.
The clothes eventually came out of the bathroom so Howard had KC check the bra size. KC said it was a 34 B even though she claimed it was a 35 C. Howard started the game a minute later. Here are the 5 songs and who got them correct:
Howard took a call from a woman who wants to play Gary in the game but she doesn't want to get naked. Howard told her that if she can find something to barter with, she can play. He put her on hold and told her to find someone to get naked or something.
Howard said that Allison isn't going to come out of the bathroom. She locked the door and said she wasn't coming out. Howard asked her to unlock it so they could talk to her on microphone. Howard told her she'd have to come out to get her clothes eventually. Howard told KC to confiscate the clothes and take them away so she wouldn't have any to sneak back on. She said she'd just wait until ten o'clock to get the clothes. Gary said he'd put him on his desk and wait until she came out. She ended up cursing and refused to come out. Howard told her she wasn't going to get out with her clothes until she comes out naked. She still argued that she was told she'd just be topless if he lost but Howard said that wasn't their fault, that was Carl's fault. Howard told Carl he could leave but his sister was staying in the bathroom because she welched on the bet. Howard said from now on they're going to make contestants come in with a $5000 cashier's check as well as the chick to get naked because of this. Howard and Robin told her they could leave her in there all night if that's what it takes. Stuttering John told Howard to just go in to use the bathroom but Howard said he doesn't do that. Howard said if Carl had won, they would have taken the $5000. She lost the bet and she was supposed to come out naked. Gary told Carl they'd eventually break her and she'd come out naked.
Howard took a few phone calls and let people complain about what Allison and Carl did to them. Howard had to take a break after that.
After the break Howard said that KC wasn't watching the door to the bathroom during the break and Allison escaped after wrapping toilet paper around herself. She ran and put her jacket on so no one would see her body. Howard had Carl back in and told him he was really pissed about what they'd done. Carl claims that he didn't plan on scamming Howard during this. Howard said after he saw her run out he knows why she didn't want anyone to see her body, she had cellulite on her legs. He kept getting more and more upset the more he talked about it. He even said that Allison had a ''butter face'' (Everything is good 'but her face'). Allison said Howard could say anything he wanted to about them, she didn't care. Howard said they have to change the rules to the game because of this debacle. He said that from now on when a woman comes in, they're going to stand her behind a sheet and if the contestant loses, they'll just drop the sheet. Howard got rid of them a short time later. Howard later said he was kind of upset that he called her names and pointed out the cellulite. Gary said it her attitude sucked and that didn't help things.
Ozzy was out of it as usual and said he was out of his mind over all of the stuff that has been going on. He said the whole year has been extremely successful and sad at the same time. Howard said he never expected Ozzy to do the TV show at all. Howard asked Ozzy if he's sorry he got started with that show. Ozzy said he is kind of upset about that but he's just got lousy timing. Howard spent some time talking to Ozzy about Sharon's chemotherapy and why she's going through that. Ozzy said Sharon won't lye down and relax. Howard said that's what's going to get her. She needs to take it easy and deal with this cancer thing. Ozzy was a bit unintelligible as he described what was going on with Sharon. He was saying stuff that was hard to understand. Howard seemed to catch most of it though and responded to Ozzy. Ozzy said that Sharon is going to do some show for VH-1 and he thinks that she needs to forget about that and just relax.
Howard said he got an invitation from Ozzy for this New Years Eve thing where Ozzy and Sharon are going to renew their wedding vows. Ozzy said he knew nothing about it but Kelly did. She said it's their 20th anniversary and that's what Sharon wants to do. Howard said he'd go but he doesn't want to be on TV if they're going to tape that event. Kelly wasn't sure but said they might be taping it. Howard and Ozzy talked about how they want Sharon to take it easy so she doesn't kill herself by overworking. Howard said he's worried about Ozzy too because Sharon means so much to him. Ozzy said he's doing great but Howard said he's shaking like a leaf so of course he's no alright.
Howard told Ozzy that he just got an English Bulldog just like they have. Ozzy said they're great until they fart. Howard said he loves the farts though.
Howard brought up Sharon's interview with Barbara Walters but Ozzy brought up Greta Van Sustern and how she somehow got into their lives. Howard wondered what that was all about so Ozzy told Howard about how that all came about. Ozzy said Barbara Walters ended up getting pissed because Greta had Ozzy and Sharon on her show and she thought she was going to have an exclusive.
Howard asked Kelly about the comments she made at the concert last night. She just laughed when Howard asked her about the Billy Corgan comments. She told Howard some stories about him and why they don't get along. She also talked about her boyfriend and how her father doesn't want her having sex with him. Howard said he heard that Kelly has a wedding ring tattoo on her finger but she said it's not a wedding ring, and it's on her pinkie. It's just a pinkie ring tattoo.
Howard and Ozzy got back to Sharon for a little while and how she really doesn't deserve this in her life. Howard said she's really got to slow down. Howard said Ozzy knew something bad was going to happen when they went out to dinner months before Sharon was diagnosed with cancer. Howard said they were at dinner and Ozzy was saying that things were going too well and something bad was going to happen. Howard said he told Ozzy not to think like that but then a couple of months later they found out she had cancer.
Howard talked to Kelly about this boyfriend of hers and said he heard she's engaged. She says she's not but Howard told her not to get married so young anyway. Ozzy claims that he doesn't even remember meeting this guy.
Howard also brought up the time he saw Kelly at this concert and she blew him off. Kelly said she had a conversation with him and walked away, she didn't blow him off. Howard said she should have spent more time talking to him because he had his kids with him.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for Kelly and Ozzy before wrapping up the interview. One guy said he saw Kelly doing coke but Kelly denied ever doing it. Another guy called in and told Ozzy what a god he is to him. Howard didn't want to hear that though so he told the guy to write a letter instead.
Leslie West of the band Mountain called in and asked Ozzy if it was true he said that he'd turned him on to cocaine. Ozzy came back with a quick ''yes.'' Leslie said that was pretty funny because it was Ozzy's road manager who had turned him onto the drug. Leslie also told a story about Ozzy taking a dump in a limo one time and trying to throw it out the window but the window was closed. Howard asked Ozzy if it was true. Ozzy said he doesn't remember, but it could be true. Kelly thought that was pretty rude to bring up stuff like that. Leslie had also said something about how you only have to listen to the first and last words of Ozzy's sentences to get what he's saying. You don't have to listen to the parts in between. Kelly thought that was pretty mean too.
Howard took a few more phone calls and talked about Ozzy's son Jack a little bit. Howard asked Ozzy if Jack is getting laid. Ozzy told him that Jack is getting some and he's walked in on him while he's had 3 girls in bed with him. Kelly wasn't talking about her sex life at all so Howard gave up on trying to get anything out of her. Howard wrapped up the interview and wished Ozzy and his family luck with everything.
Howard asked Bridget to tell him how strippers are treated unfairly. She said that they don't get any benefits and some clubs even want them to pay them for their benefits. She rambled on about a club that wanted $55 for benefits. Howard wondered why she was complaining about $55 when strippers can make a ton of money. Howard went on to tell Bridget that in other jobs have to pay for that stuff and she's in a business where she gets paid for dancing. Howard told her he thinks it's a great job and she shouldn't be complaining. She said she doesn't feel that she should have to pay to work. Howard took some phone calls and let some guys yell at this stripper. One guy said it shows how much strippers hate guys. Howard also asked Bridget if she gives guys knee jobs when she's lap dancing. She said she doesn't have a problem with that but she's not allowed to in the club she works at. She said she'll slide down a guy. Howard said that hurts but she said guys love it. Jeff the Drunk called in and told her she's nothing but a ''skanky ho.'' Another person told her to just get a different job if she doesn't like the way she's treated.
Gary brought in a picture of Bridget and Howard said she wasn't bad. He said he couldn't see her very well though and she didn't look like Heather Graham like she said she did. Howard let a few other guys call in to yell at her. After that Howard told her she really doesn't have it that bad. He told her to stop her bitching. Even more guys called in and told her she was nuts to think that she shouldn't have to pay to work as a stripper. She makes a lot of money dancing while the bartenders and people like that aren't making that kind of money. A couple of women called in too to bitch at her. She was saying that she makes between $150 and $300 a night so one guy called in and told Howard if that's all she's making, then she's not fly. Bridget and the guy argued about that for a couple of minutes. The guy suggested that she should go all the way with the guys she's dancing for. After that Howard gave her a plug for this web site she's promoting. It's at EDA-SF.org. He wrapped up the interview a short time later.
Howard said he read that Tim demanded this woman Elizabeth Mitchell be hired for the movie after he saw nude pictures of her on MrSkin.com. Tim said that wasn't true. He and the director collaborated on that and he didn't want to make the decision on something like that. Howard talked to tim about who he'd like to work with in his career. He mentioned Nicole Kidman and Diane Lane and said it's no just their looks but their acting abilities. Howard joked around with that and said Tim probably wanted Glenn Close as the Tool Time Girl on ''Home Improvement.''
Howard asked Tim how old the chicks are he's been dating since leaving his wife. Tim said he's dated women over 30 since then. Howard asked him how he could be dating women over 30 when he's at 24. Howard had some other stories about Tim that he's read in the tabloids. He also said that Tim's managers are listed as Executive Producers on this new movie. Howard went on to talk about how well off Tim is. Howard said the last time Tim was in they followed him out and saw him buy a $75,000 watch at a local jewelry store. Tim said he didn't buy a watch that day but Howard said he did. Tim said he does own a watch that's worth that much but he didn't buy one that day. Tim said he's a watch freak and owns quite a few.
Howard said he doesn't spend money on stuff like that. He said he owned a Corvette for a couple of years but he doesn't own a Ferrari or anything like that now. Tim told Howard he wouldn't fit in a Ferrari anyway. Tim said once he came into some money he went ahead and bought the stuff he always wanted. Tim said he's now a computer geek and buys new Apple computers whenever they come out. He said he's got his web site TimAllen.com and he's going to put up some MPEG movies of Howard up on the site later today. He took some video while he was in the studio and Howard recorded some goofy stuff for Tim. He basically said that Tim will take any woman under 24 years old. He also joked that Tim was a fag.
Howard took some phone calls for Tim and spent some more time talking to him about the kind of money he's making these days. Howard read that Tim made $12.5 million for the movie ''Joe Somebody.'' Tim said that once the money goes through the managers he gets about eleven dollars. Robin said ''Joe Somebody'' didn't do all that well and probably didn't gross $12 million. She wondered if he feels bad after taking that kind of money and not performing. Tim said he doesn't feel bad at all.
Howard asked Tim what's going on with his love life now. Howard wondered if he's dating anyone and if he brought anyone to the premiere of the new movie. Tim said he brought his daughter to the premiere.
Howard took some calls for Tim and one woman thanked Tim for giving her hope. She said Tim has given her hope because she's 46 and thinks that she may be able to date someone like Tim. Tim said earlier that he would consider dating a woman who was 50 years old. This woman seemed to think she could be that date. Howard ended up hanging up on her.
Gary came in and said he was talking to Tim's manager Rick and he has a $200,000 whiffle ball stadium in his back yard. Tim said he was even impressed when he saw this stadium. Gary said he heard that this guy Rick throws the best parties too. Howard ended up talking about how he hates going out with celebrities because he always ends up paying for meals. Gary mentioned a bunch of celebrities Howard has gone out to eat with and Howard said he paid for every meal. Howard retold the story about going out with Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne. They wanted to pay the tab but the restaurant told them Howard was going to pay. He didn't want to pay though but he ended up paying anyway.
Tim told Howard about hanging out with John Travolta and Michael Eisner at a baseball game. He said he likes hanging out with other celebrities once in a while. He said he hung out with Bonnie Hunt there too and would consider dating her.
Dominic Barbara called in and said that he pays for meals when he goes out to eat with Howard. Robin said she pays too.
Howard continued to talk to Tim about other celebrities he's met over the years. Howard said he wants to find something that he and Tim can work together on. Tim said they could do a buddy movie or something.
Howard brought up one last thing before Tim left. Howard read that Tim bought a 26 acre campground in Michigan so they could keep it in it's current state. Howard took one last call from a woman who said Tim was great when she saw him in a comedy show he was in. Robin asked Tim if he still sees the kids he worked with on ''Home Improvement'' these days. He said he still stays in contact with them and has tried to mentor one of the kids who had a little trouble transitioning from TV life to real life. After that Howard wrapped up the interview and took a break.
50 Cent was shot 9 times so Howard spent some time talking to him about that. He said it happened one time but it was 9 shots. He showed Howard the scar on his face. The guy who shot him was out to kill him but just didn't finish the job. Robin asked him what happened and how he missed. He said a guy ran up to his car from another car and shot it. 50 Cent said that the guy who shot him died when someone did the same thing to him. When Howard asked him if he shot the guy, 50 Cent just laughed and said he's a rap star, he wouldn't do that.
Robin said she was walking down the hall earlier and 50 Cent's bodyguards were glaring at her out in the hall. She said hello to them but they didn't say a word. 50 Cent said they don't pay attention to who's who. Stuttering John said the same thing happened to him. He said hello to them also and they just stared at him. Howard asked 50 Cent if that's the image he has to have being a rap star. 50 Cent said he'd have the guys move if Robin is afraid to walk past them. Robin said she just doesn't want the guys staring at her like that.
Howard and 50 Cent spent a little while talking about his love life and how great his career is going right now. He said he got a chick recently that looked like Apalonia. He said he's getting treated really well by hot women since he's so hot right now. Howard said some of his interns are really excited about him being there. One of the interns came in and said she was a fan of his. Howard asked her if she'd want to sleep with him. She said she didn't know about that but she might want to go to lunch with him or something. Howard got back to the story he was telling about the Apalonia looking chick. 50 Cent said that he doesn't even remember her name and he only banged her once.
Gary came in and asked him about a $65,000 signing bonus he got when he signed with Columbia. He had to give $60,000 of it to other people and he said he used the other $5000 to buy crack.
Howard played tape of an interview he did with Ja Rule. There were some things written about 50 Cent and a friend of his who robbed Ja Rule that Howard talked to him about. 50 Cent told Howard he didn't have anything to do with that and explained what happened. 50 Cent explained to Howard what happened there and how he was chased with a miniature baseball bat. He's been stabbed a couple of times too so Howard and Robin talked to him about that. 50 Cent told Howard that trouble finds him and follows him around.
Howard took some phone calls for 50 Cent and let some people talk to him. After that Howard plugged his album and played a little more of his song ''In Da Club.'' Howard said 50 Cent is now out on tour so they talked about that for a minute. Howard took a call from a woman who wondered what level of education this guy had. He said he got his GED while he was in jail. She said that they didn't teach him the difference between singular and plural. He told her to just get off the phone. Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to him about what life was like in prison. They also talked about his family and how he was raised by his grand parents. He said his mother was killed when he was 8 years old and he never knew his father. Howard asked 50 Cent what crack is like but 50 Cent said that he didn't do it, he just sold it. Howard ended the interview a couple minutes later.
After the break Howard said that they're going to have James Brown's daughter Peaches on tomorrow. Robin wondered if she's one of the kids that's suing James. Gary told Howard that she's one that he refuses to recognize and she's writing a book about it and has a web site set up for it.
Howard played a new Raymond Norman message. This is the guy who sent Howard messages about Oprah Winfrey being the ''Negro woman from the South'' a while back. Today he was backing up the President and all of his people in his ''Lets Keep It Real'' segment. Howard said he loves this guy. Raymond also goes off on Martin Bashir who did the interview with Michael Jackson recently. He bad mouthed Bashir and called him as ''The English nig*er.'' He played a segment from the Jackson interview in his recording. You could barely hear it because of the poor recording quality. Howard wondered who his ''audience'' was. The guys figured it's just them.
After that Howard took a call from Michael who works for this place called ''Men with Open Arms day care.'' He told Howard that they encourage children to act in whatever way they want instead of trying to keep them from acting a certain way. Robin wondered who runs such a place. Michael told Robin that some of the guys who work there are reformed pedophiles. Michael claims that they don't encourage children to be gay, they just don't discourage it. Michael said the reason he was calling was to tell Howard they need about $70,000 to start up the center. He also said they're trying to give reformed pedophiles a place to work. Howard read some of the notes he had on Michael and he used to be a gym teacher. The notes said that Michael would sometimes have to remove kids who took too long in the shower from the shower himself. Howard said the guys who work at this place probably work there for free because they get to be around kids. Michael said that they do have some volunteers there. He also claims that they do have kids coming to this day care center and about 80 percent of them are boys. Howard took some phone calls from some people who wanted to talk about how wrong this is. Some people said that there is no cure for pedophiles and these guys aren't reformed. One caller said if the guys were near him the place would be called ''Men with Broken Jaws day care.'' Howard continued to take calls from people who all just wanted to goof on the guy. One guy wondered if it's even legal to do this. The guy said that they don't do anything illegal there. One woman actually called in and said she was okay with this. Pretty much everyone else figured the guy was goofing on Howard or he was nuts. Michael said that his place has been licensed for 10 years and it's no a goof. A caller asked Michael if they disclose to the parents that they have ex-pedophiles working for them. Michael said they don't come right out and tell them that because it's not one of their bigger selling points. Howard said it sounds like having reformed pedophiles in charge of a day care center is like putting a pyromaniac in charge of a match factory.
After getting off the phone with the guy Howard continued to talk about how disturbing it was for a few minutes. He then moved on to talk about the riots that broke out in Oakland after the Super Bowl last night. Howard read an article about the riots and talked about that for a short time. He also brought up the Billy Joel accident story again. He said that Joel was airlifted to the hospital after crashing his car. He played a quick clip of Joel's song ''It's Still Rock & Roll To Me'' where he sings ''What's the matter with the car I'm drivin'...'' and all of a sudden you hear a car skidding and then crashing. Howard said Joey Boots spent all night working on that clip. Howard continued to talk about the accident and read an article about it where they talk about Christie Brinkley going out to take pictures of the accident scene. The article says that Joel was not drunk at the time. He was driving a Mercedes Benz S600 when he hit the tree. Howard said he's glad to hear that Billy is okay after the accident. Bobo called in and asked Howard if he thought it was odd that they called a press conference yesterday about the Billy Joel thing and then they canceled it. He thought something didn't add up about it because Joel was airlifted to the hospital and all of a sudden he's already been released. Howard didn't think much of it though.
Howard took a couple of phone calls about various stuff. One guy thought that Artie was out today because he lost a ton of money on the game yesterday. Howard said he's out in L.A. doing some work though.
Eric the Midget called in and said he wanted to talk about ''American Idol'' last week but he kept getting left on hold. Howard told him that he gets boring sometimes and he didn't want to have him on. Howard spent a few minutes talking to Eric about how he should try going to some of those little people meetings to hook up with some other little people. Howard hasn't seen Eric so he spent a couple of minutes trying to find out what he looks like. He was asking him if he has tiny fingers and how tall he is. Eric said he's 3'6'' tall which is even smaller than Hank the Dwarf was. Howard told Eric that he could get work in movies and TV because there's tons of work out there for little people. Howard told Eric to get off the whole ''American Idol'' thing and get a life. Another caller brought up how dwarfs have normal sized penises and wondered if female dwarfs have normal sized vaginas. Howard didn't answer the question though, he was curious to know how big Eric's penis was. He wanted him to measure it while he was on the phone but Eric said he didn't have anything to measure it with. Howard wrapped up the call and took a break shortly after that.
A month ago Sal was just a superfan of the show. Now he's working on the show and he thinks he can stay in Howard's apartment. Artie said that Sal is jealous of certain people in Howard's life or something. To rub it in, Howard told Sal that Joey Boots is no different than him. Sal didn't think it was all that big of a deal to ask Howard to stay in his ''huge, huge place'' for one night. Howard said that Sal doesn't know anything about his apartment and he's never seen it. Gary said he told Sal that Howard doesn't want to spend the night with anyone, he just wants to go home and live his life. Artie was laughing his ass off the whole time hearing all of that stuff. He said that Sal is really funny after hearing all of this. Sal kept saying that Howard is his boss so Howard told him that he's not. Tom is really his boss and he should be asking him if he can stay at his place tonight.
Sal said he was talking to Louis the Board Op the other day and wondering why he can't move to the ''next level'' with Howard. Sal said that Howard hangs out with people like Dominic Barbara and he doesn't get why Howard won't spend time with him. Howard told Sal that there's something about him that's just ''odd'' and this whole thing sealed the deal. He said he will never take him to the ''next level'' as he's asking. Sal said that he's been fantasizing about being in the studio with Howard since he was about 17. Now that he's in there, he wants more. He said that Louis told him that this stuff shouldn't be all that important to him. That's what Howard was telling him as well. He said that Sal is a ''star f'er'' and he's got to get over that. Sal told Howard he wanted to hang out and watch Survivor and eat dinner together.
Tom Chiusano came in and gave Howard two words ''Restraining Order.'' He seems to think he's kind of nuts with all of this stuff. Sal said that Louis the Board Op advised him to bring all of this stuff out to Howard. Louis came in and told Howard that he did tell Sal that maybe he could ask Howard about some of this stuff but didn't think he'd be asking to stay at his apartment. Howard played a ''Crazy'' song parody about Sal that they created about him the last time he freaked out on the air. He's a bit nuttier than they expected. Howard said that this is the creepiest thing. He told Sal to go hang out with his friends instead of bothering him. Sal said he doesn't have friends. Howard cut everyone off and said that they have a new Page 69 on HowardStern.com and they claim that they caught Sal going through the releases looking for Ace Frehley's phone number. Sal said he just wanted to see what it looked like and just stared at it for a minute. He wasn't going to do anything with it. Howard said that Sal will never have his address and he doesn't want him at his apartment.
Howard asked Louis if it was the weirdest conversation when he was talking to him about this stuff. Louis didn't seem to think it was all that crazy because everyone there is a little nuts. Howard took a call from a guy who said that Sal called Beth looking for the recipe for Engagement Chicken. Louis also told Howard that some of the people there get pissed if he doesn't credit them with a joke they wrote or something like that. Howard said that when a Leno or Letterman do jokes on their show, they don't credit the individuals. Sal asked Robin if, when she was a nurse, it would be okay to ask a surgeon to stay at his place if she had to stay in the area late. She said that was out of the question and she would never do that.
Joey Boots called in and said that Sal is the best thing for the show. He said he thinks that Sal is delusional and it's great. Joey believes that Sal is serious right now. Howard seems to believe it as well. Howard heard that Scott the Engineer was all fired up. Scott came in and said that he's been working with Howard for 20 years and he still hasn't gone to dinner with Howard. He told Sal to get used to it because that's the way things go there. Howard told Scott that there are just certain people he doesn't want to be with. He's had Robin, Fred and Artie over for dinner. Howard said that Jason, Will, Benjy, Fred, Richie, Isaac, Louis, Mike Gange and others all live in the city and Sal could stay with any of them if he asked. He doesn't get why he wants to stay with him. Howard said that Sal scares the hell out of him. Sal kept bringing up Dominic Barbara and figured that's the kind of person he has to be to get on Howard's good side. Howard told Sal that he doesn't want to be his friend.
Robin said that Dominic used to do stuff like this with Ralph because he didn't get why Ralph was good friends with Howard. Gary said that even now Sal doesn't get that Howard doesn't want to hang out with him. Vinnie Favale from CBS called in and told Howard that Sal used to contact him all the time and asked him what Howard thought about him. Now he doesn't even call him anymore because he's already ''in'' with the show. Vinnie told Howard that he should drop him already. A listener from Seattle called in and asked if he could stay with Howard as a goof. Sal was asking Howard if he has a custom made bed. Howard said he's not going to tell him anything about his life. He and Robin told Sal to watch ''The King of Comedy'' because that's what this is like. He said that he's really scared by Sal's behavior today. Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and told Sal that he should really drop this stuff or Howard is going to tell him to get out. Ronnie also rubbed it in and told Sal that Howard tells him he can stay at his apartment once in a while if he gets stuck in the city in the snow or something. Fred played a clip from ''Misery'' that kind of sounded like something Sal would do.
Sal said that if he and Howard were working a construction site and Howard was the foreman, this wouldn't have been a big deal. Robin said that the only reason he wants to stay with Howard is because he's Howard Stern. A couple of callers told Howard that Sal is nuts. Bobo called in and said that Howard made a mistake by taking Sal to dinner one night. Howard said that it's funny that Richard Christy turned out to be the normal one out of the two. Howard said he knew that Sal was mentally ill when Ace Frehley was on the show and acted the way he did. Bobo told Sal that he's delusional and he's got to know when not to step over the line. Howard told Sal that he will never be invited to his home after all of this. Double A also called in and asked when he's going to get a key to his apartment. Howard said he'd rather give him the key than let Sal in. Sal was comparing himself to some of Howard's friends but Howard told him he's got to stop with that. He said he has to stop thinking about him and his friends. Sal said it's over now and he won't do this anymore.
Howard asked Sal where he lives and why he can't just drive home. Sal lives on Long Island and he's supposed to be in the city late so he doesn't want to drive home. Sal wondered how far off from Dominic he is and why he can't be in the same position as a friend. Howard told Sal to walk out of the studio and never bring this stuff up again. Sal said that a father would never do that to a son. Howard and the guys told him that he's not his father. Sal said that he's looked up to Howard as a father figure but Howard doesn't want anything to do with that either. He booted Sal out of the studio and let Louis hang out in the office for a few seconds to let Sal get out of there. Howard asked Louis to write an article for his web site about what he hears from some of the other guys on the show. Gary asked Louis if Scott DePace is one of the other people asking about stuff like that. Howard said he's heard that Louis is getting married next week and he's trying to keep it quiet so he doesn't get the speech from him. Gary said that Louis seems to be living a pretty normal life for someone who works on the show. Howard had to go to break after that. He said he wasn't going to lecture Louis on the whole marriage thing.
Artie said that he doesn't think that this whole Sal thing is over yet. He's showing perfect ''stalker'' behavior and it's not over yet. Howard said that Louis invited just one staff member to his wedding and that person was Fred. Louis said that Jason is one of the people who's stalking Howard. Jason said that he is a big fan of the show and he's listened to it for a long time so he appreciates that he's on the show. Gary said that Jason appreciates when Howard uses something of Howard's on the air. Will and Louis said that Jason is a bit more obsessed with the show than they think though. Will said that Jason refused to go to college anywhere that Howard wasn't on. He also didn't want to go to Texas where his father had a job offer from but Howard wasn't on there so Jason didn't want to go. Howard said that Will used to write him letters as a kid as well so everyone is a fan. A phone caller told Howard that he should watch his back and hire someone to check his apartment before he goes home. Howard went to break after that.
Howard said he really hates getting in front of people and performing like that. He said he doesn't like to be judged in front of people doing something he's not good at. He said he tried to pick a song that he could give something to. Artie asked Howard if he ever did Karaoke at a bar anywhere in his life. Howard said he never has so Artie talked about how nerve wracking it is up there. Howard joked that he saw Chris Jericho beating up the rest of his band in the green room during the break. He said he got into his wrestling outfit and beat the crap out of them.
This guy called in and mentioned Ol' Dirty Bastard's name like he'd done earlier in the show. He claimed that he was going to get a lap dance from Lil' Kim if he mentioned his name a bunch of times today. Howard didn't know what he was talking about and hung up on him. Another woman called in and asked Howard if he had a horn section in the band or was it just his nose. A few other callers said a few things about the song. Joey Boots called in and asked Howard if they'd perform it one last time in Las Vegas when they're out there at the end of April. Howard said he's not sure if they're going to do anything like that out there. Joey said he wants to bring his boyfriend High Pitch Erik out there with him so he asked Howard if he had any trips to give away. Howard said he didn't have any yet.
A few minutes later he said Andrea Ownbey, Miss Howard Stern, wanted to come in to promote a few things. She won the title of Miss Howard Stern 2 years ago out in Las Vegas and she's been representing the show ever since. Robin said it looks like she even has a tough time walking. Howard said she walks a little bit like Morticia Addams from the ''Addams Family.'' Artie said she walks very ''very dainty.'' When she spoke her first words everyone remembered how cute and funny her voice is. She claims that she just turned 20 years old on February 28th. She said it was awful because she just stayed home and cried. She said she feels that she's too old and things are over for her. Howard said he feels that 20 is very young to him. He and Robin asked her what the problem was. She said she hasn't done anything with her life yet and she's thinking she needs to do something. Howard agreed and said she really should. Howard asked her why she's not stripping at this point. She said she lives at home with her Dad and doesn't want to strip.
Howard and the guys asked her some questions about current events to see how smart she is. She was able to tell them that we're at war with Iraq and she knew the key city over there, Baghdad. Artie asked her if she ever finished her typing class. She said she did but her advisor guy told her she had to do her 11th and 12th grade P.E. classes. Gary noticed that she was talking kind of strangely so they asked her about that. She said she's forgotten to wear her retainer lately. Gary said she was out talking to Chris Jericho during the break and she was telling him that she wants to change her voice. Jericho told her to give him an idea of how it would change. Gary told her to do it for Howard so she spoke a little bit saying that she wanted to sound more mature. Howard asked her to do it for him but she'd just done it. It wasn't any different. Howard asked her to say ''The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.'' She did that but it was exactly the same thing. Howard told her he finds her voice cute. He said it wouldn't be cute on any chick that's not as hot as her though. Howard described her voice as a baby voice with a lisp. Howard asked her to say ''Daddy's girl's been a bad girl.'' in that voice. Artie seemed to enjoy that quite a bit.
Andrea told Howard she wants to be an actress. Gary asked her if she gets offers to do other jobs like getting nude and stuff like that. She said she hasn't been offered anything like that but people who go on her web site tell her they'd pay for nude pictures and video. She said the web site she had was a nightmare. She told Howard she hooked up with these guys who just took her picture and linked it to a bunch of porn sites and stuff. She wanted to have the best web site she could get and these guys just made a mess of it. She said they were making a ton of money off her too.
Gary offered to give her some money to get naked but she has money. KC said that she has a bunch of cars and she's able to pay her bills. She said that she has guys who will pay her bills for her. She said she's got guys like 50 and 40 years old who just pay for this stuff. She claims that she tells the guys she doesn't like them that way and they still pay for the stuff. She said they'll ask her to be their girlfriend but she says ''no.'' She said she might kiss them on the cheek or something but that's it.
Andrea is promoting ''Stock Car Fans Out of Control'' which is a DVD where she goes around talking to a bunch of ''rednecks'' about NASCAR racing. She said she went to three different tracks and interviewed people. That video is available at StockCarVideos.com.
Howard asked Andrea if there are any guys she's banging right now. She said she hasn't had sex since she broke up with her boyfriend a while ago. She said he went away to college and she hasn't had sex since. Howard found out that Andrea is the mother of a 3 year old girl. She said that the baby is with her father when she's not around and with her aunt and other family members at other times. Andrea said she stays with the baby when she's home.
Howard had a citizenship test that has basic questions about the country. He wanted to see if Andrea could answer them all. Here are the questions and her answers:
Howard reminded her that she represents the Howard Stern Show so she can't gain too much weight. She said that she has been walking the streets at night to exercise. Howard wondered why she's doing that because that's probably how she got pregnant. He asked her why she didn't use birth control when she got pregnant. She said she did have protection but it didn't work. She said the guy had a condom on and she was really surprised when she got pregnant. She said she got really depressed when she got pregnant because she didn't want to get fat. She said she lucked out and didn't get any stretch marks though.
Howard once again reminded Andrea that she is the queen of the show. She is welcome on the show anytime always and forever. She asked Howard if she could come to Las Vegas. Howard quickly said ''Absolutely not!'' but he was just joking around. Howard said he heard that she had some fun with some of the E! guys last year. She said she didn't do anything though. She said that she just flirts with guys and doesn't have sex because she thinks no guys are good enough for her. She had one more question for Howard before he ended the interview. She said that when she was hosting that Stock Car video thing she thought that she could make her own DVD. She would like to do a sexy, funny video. Howard told her when she does that she can come back and promote it there. Howard wrapped up the interview after that.
She was also on a TV show called ''Jack and Jill'' but that's done with now. She said she's got a development deal with ABC and she's hoping to come up with a new TV show soon. Howard gave her some advice about what she should do on her new show. He told her that, first of all, she has to dress hot on the show. She's a hot chick so she has to dress hot. She wasn't dressed all that hot today according to Howard.
Howard spent a short time talking about the Steven Seagal story that Jaime told the last time she was on the show. They went over that and Jaime said her lawyer called her after that show and asked her not to talk badly about Seagal again because his lawyer called and complained. Jaime said if he doesn't want her talking about him then he shouldn't do what he was doing to her... He allegedly felt her up.
Howard also spoke to Jaime about her now ex-boyfriend Simon Rex. Jaime said he left her on her birthday. She told Howard the story about how they hooked up and ended up making out at the Emmy Awards. She said they used their hands on each other but that was it. Artie Lange said she must be really good in bed because she was really hot in one of the ''Poison Ivy'' movies. That led to Howard discussing movie set sex scenes for a couple of minutes.
Jaime said she wasn't going to say anything bad about her ex-boyfriend. She said he was her best friend and sometimes things just don't work out. She told Howard that even when she's with a guy other guys will come up to her and ask for her number. Even if she's sitting on her boyfriend's lap.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about the director of ''Not Another Teen Movie'' Joel Gallen. He and Jaime talked about what a great guy he is and how talented he is.
Howard asked Jaime if she ever does any lesbian stuff. She said she's not into that and she doesn't even like to kiss her female friends in a friendly way. Howard also asked her about using a vibrator. She said she's had one used on her but she doesn't use it on herself.
Howard took some phone calls for Jaime and then wrapped up the interview. When Howard announced that P.O.D. was going to be performing live Jaime got excited so Howard invited her to stick around.
At one point in the interview Jaime made a comment about how Howard ''got slapped a yarmulke'' or something to that effect. Howard and the guys kept bringing that offensive statement up over and over again through the rest of the show and Jaime was upset about that. Later in the show Howard played tape of Mike Gange interviewing her when she was leaving and she seemed a little upset about them goofing on her. She apologized to Howard for the statement but she didn't seem to realize it was offensive. Howard found that kind of odd. She did say that she has nothing against Jewish people after making that comment. Howard said he can't wait to hear her explanation of that comment on other shows.
Howard had to take a commercial break shortly after bringing Carson in. After the break he spent some more time talking to Carson about the women he's dated. He brought up Tara Reid's name again and asked him if he gets jealous when he sees the guys she's dating now. Carson said he finds it humorous when he sees who she's dating. Howard moved on to talk about the other women in his life like Jennifer Love Hewitt. Carson claims that Jennifer's breasts are real too. Stuttering John asked that question and when Carson said they're real he told him he's the luckiest guy in the world. Howard asked him how long it took for him to get her in bed. Carson said he really doesn't remember how long it took but they weren't in any rush. He said he really liked her and wasn't just trying to bang her. Howard read that he also went out with Christina Aguilera. He said he did date her but it didn't go very far. He said she was a fun girl to date though. The guys also brought up the wacky behavior Mariah Carey showed on TRL one day. He talked about how she pulled off her top and showed her breasts for no obvious reason. Carson said he could tell that something was up with her when he saw that happen.
Howard had Carson put his hand on a pile of bibles and swear that he never slept with Christina Aguilera. He also asked him about Jaime Pressly who he was rumored to have dated. Carson started to clam up when Howard asked him if he ever tongue kissed Christina Aguilera.
Howard spent a little time talking to Carson about his NBC show too. That led to them talking about Jimmy's new TV show for a short time. Howard had a few other interesting facts about Carson that they talked about before they wrapped up the interview. Carson talked about spending time with OJ Simpson years ago when he was a caddy for the guy. He actually had lunch with him the day before OJ's ex-wife was killed. Carson said he played golf right behind him the day before the killings. Howard spent some time on the OJ subject and then wrapped up the interview with Carson and Jimmy.
Howard spent some time talking about Jack's sister Kelly. He had read some stuff about her that he wanted to know more about so he read some stuff from the tabloids. He said he saw Jack out at the Clive Davis party last Saturday and he came up to him and was really cool. He said Kelly seems to be getting a little bratty. He asked Jack if he feels the same way. Jack said he's not in her shoes so he doesn't know what she might be going through.
Howard also saw Jack hanging out with Rod Stewart's daughter Kim at the party on Saturday night. He asked Jack about that and tried to find out if he's felt her up or anything like that. Jack said he hasn't felt her up, they're just friends.
Howard also spoke to Sharon about her cancer and the chemotherapy. She said she did lose some of her hair during the chemotherapy. She said it didn't all fall out at once though, it fell out in small patches. She said it's growing back nicely now. Howard asked Sharon if she has had any work done on herself to make her look so good. He thought she had a nose job but she said she didn't. She said the only thing she did was have her stomach banded so she could lose the weight.
Howard spent a short time talking to Sharon about all of the animals they have in their house crapping all over the carpet. He said he feels bad for Ozzy sometimes when he sees him trying to put the animals outside so they won't crap in there. Sharon said she feels bad for them when they come scratching at the door so she always lets them back in.
Howard talked about this ''The Osbournes - The First Season'' DVD Jack and Sharon were in to promote. The video is uncensored so Howard wondered if it's as funny without the bleeps. Sharon and Jack said that it really isn't as funny without the bleeps. She said there are two versions though so you can get the censored version complete with bleeps. Sharon said they also have new footage on the DVDs. That led to Howard talking to them about another season of the show. Jack said they've already shot 10 episodes for a third season. Sharon said they're not sure if they're going to do another one though. Howard figures that's just so they can negotiate for the new season but Sharon said she's really not sure.
Howard said that Sharon is busy with other stuff too and has a talk show in the works. He said she did a test show and a bunch of celebrities showed up to do that one. He said she had Adam Sandler, Jay Leno, Courtney Love and others. She said they're not going to use that one when the show starts. Howard spent some time talking to Sharon about how he's always been a fan of Ozzy's and wanted to see them on TV before this show came around. He said after seeing this show that Ozzy did called ''Don't Blame Me,'' he was hooked.
Howard asked Sharon and Jack what they think about Kelly's boyfriend. Jack said he really doesn't like the guy. He said that he broke up with Kelly on Valentine's day but they got back together after that. Sharon said she doesn't like him either. She claims she never did. Howard asked her how she reacts around him and she said she tries to be courteous. She told Howard she doesn't think he was trying to jump on the Kelly Bandwagon, he's too dumb for that. Jack said the manager of the guy's band is a good friend of his and it made things kind of weird.
Gary asked Sharon what she thought when Patricia Heaton walked off stage when they were using foul language at the American Music Awards. Sharon said she really didn't know who she was and didn't care that she left. Sharon said ''Wake up woman... don't tell me you've never heard these words before.'' Howard also asked Jack about Fred Durst because he's made some comments about him that aren't so positive. Sharon had some problems with him at a concert and pulled the plug on the band one time. She and Jack told Howard what they think of Fred for a couple of minutes. Howard read a quote from Jack where he says his sister's album isn't his thing but he doesn't want to say anything bad about it. Jack said the album isn't bad, it's actually good.
Howard asked Sharon about Kelly not going to England recently and all of the controversy that surrounded it. Sharon told Howard that Kelly was afraid to go because there were tanks going into Heathrow airport and it freaked her out. She said the record company threatened to drop her after that and Sharon didn't understand how they could do that to a child who was afraid to fly.
Howard noticed a diamond ring on Sharon's hand so he asked her how much it was. Sharon said it was $17,000. She also had a diamond watch that was worth about $75,000. Then Howard saw the 15 carat diamond necklace. Howard guessed at how much it was worth and it eventually came out that it was a $1.5 million necklace! Howard asked her why she isn't afraid to wear something like that. Sharon said it is insured. Howard wondered if her accountant ever tells her to slow down with the spending. Sharon said he tells them that every day but they ignore it. Sharon said she lives life to the fullest. Howard asked Sharon how much she's making on this talk show she's doing but she didn't want to answer that. Howard said people want to hear how much it is. She said it's in the ''Ten million-ish'' area. She joked that it would be all gone by the end of the week.
Howard said he and Ozzy had a discussion one time where they talked about how Sharon has a problem with spending money. He said Ozzy asked him to tell Sharon about it so he agreed to do it. Sharon told Howard that she grew up like that and she did whatever she had to do to make money to pay for her stuff. When she started talking about that Fred played some sad piano music. Sharon seemed to think that was pretty funny. She said money doesn't concern her.
Howard asked Sharon about this raffle that they held at their vow renewal party. Gary said Jack and Sharon gave each other a look when they heard that. Sharon explained to Howard that they were giving away raffle tickets so they could raffle off diamond necklace and earrings at the end of the night. The woman who won was unknown to Sharon. Jack told Howard that a friend of his invited some people and this woman snuck in. Howard said that the woman is going to go to court to get this thing that they denied her because she was probably invited by someone at the party. Sharon told Howard that she didn't get in legitimately though. She snuck in with 3 other people. Howard said that's a good legal question because if someone isn't supposed to be there and they win something, do they really get the gift. Sharon did her impression of this girl and said that she refused to give back the prize because of Sharon's attitude. Sharon claims that they're claiming that Sharon is doing this because she's against the talent agency the girl works for. Sharon said she doesn't even know anyone there and never even heard of it.
Gary asked Sharon about the Pepsi commercial that Ozzy and the kids did for the Super Bowl. Sharon said she didn't have anything to do with that commercial so she didn't get any money from it.
Howard read some stuff about Kelly and her older sister Aimee who doesn't appear on the MTV show. The article Howard read said that Kelly and Aimee don't get along. Sharon said that was just a bad day for Kelly and the two of them are fine with each other. It was just sisters fighting. Howard and Gary talked about their kids and Gary wondered if his kids are going to yell at him like Sharon's do to her. Howard said his daughters have no problem expressing their feelings toward him.
Howard took a couple of phone calls for Sharon and Jack. One guy said some nice words to Sharon about her battle with cancer. Vinnie Favale from CBS also called in and asked Sharon if she's having a feud with Bill Maher. He said Bill and Jay Leno said some nasty stuff about the Osbournes and it was pretty mean. Howard said Jay is a phony and only cares about himself. Sharon said Bill Maher is also a hypocrite because he came up to her in a restaurant one time and told her how great the show was. She said all he does is look for young kids to screw and that's what he does best. Vinnie told Howard that he really should see this rant that Maher went on because it was pretty vicious.
A caller asked Sharon if she's going to pay up on her bet with Insane Clown Posse. She made the bet on Howard's show that the band wouldn't sell 200,000 copies of their album. The guys claim they did sell more than that so Sharon owes them $50,000. Sharon said she doesn't think they sold that many and she's not going to pay up. Howard wrapped up the segment and Sharon thanked him for being there for them.
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