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Howard started off the show saying that Jimmy Kimmel would be in around 7am to sit in for the whole show. He went to lunch with Jimmy yesterday. Jimmy is still with Sarah Silverman so she was along for the lunch as well. After that Howard said that he didn't know where to begin. He went on to talk about last night's ''Survivor.'' He was glad that this guy Tom won the game. He said if he hadn't won, he'd never watch that show again. The guys talked about how the guy is only 41 years old but he looks like he's 60. Gary thought he had to have been in his 50s. Howard thought the guy was the most honest guy who ever played the game. They also talked about Ian who basically gave up on the game at the end. Howard talked about the chick that was being played by Ian and how he couldn't believe that she didn't lose a pound while she was playing the game.
Howard also brought up ''Lost'' and how there's a mystery behind the show that not that many people know about. Howard said that the announcer on the show is actually Lloyd Braun's voice and Lloyd is the guy who helped get that show on the air and then got fired by ABC. Robin didn't think that anyone would care about that fact but Howard thought it was pretty interesting. Howard said that Lloyd is still doing stuff for the hit show he helped get on the air even after ABC let him go.
Howard said there were some things about the party he liked and there were a few things he didn't like. The drinks and food were really good but he had trouble getting to the food at first. He also complained about how crowded it was in the lobby when he got there. They didn't have any dancing going on and Howard thought they didn't have any desert. Gary told Howard that they had a lot of desert but it came out after Howard left. Howard was out of there by 9:30pm and Gary said the desert didn't come out until sometime after 10. Howard told Tom he had a good time there and it was really Tom's party, not his son's. Howard complained about Tom's speech about his son and thought that it wasn't all that great. He said Mel Karmazin walked out in the middle of his speech.
Gary asked if Booker was invited to the party. Howard said that Booker was in a car accident before the party and he was in bad shape. Howard also thought that he was a bit underdressed for the party. Booker was hurt pretty bad in the car accident so he didn't stick around. Howard wondered who gave the most to Timm after talking about how Booker was just going to get the kid something from their registry. Tom said they didn't even cover the cost of the party with the gifts they got. Gary asked Tom what the cost per head was at the party. Tom said it was probably over $200. Tom was also saying that most of the people there were Timm's contemporaries so they don't have a lot of money to give. Fred said he never saw Timm there at the party. Howard told him that he had to go say hello to him because he was sitting in an corner. Fred didn't know that so he never went over.
Howard took a call from Tom's wife Penelope who said she was very glad that Howard and Robin came to the party. She was also glad that Mr. X showed up with Robin. Penelope said that the young guys at the party were looking at Beth all night because she was so hot. Howard said a couple of women came on to Beth at the party. One of those women was Artie's girlfriend Dana. Penelope said that she didn't get to see Artie because there were so many people there. Howard said he wanted to ask Penelope if she really believes that Tom doesn't pleasure himself anymore. She said she really does believe that because she lives with him. He said that he talked about it with her and it has to do with his bond with God after he survived his cancer scare. Howard wondered why he has to give that up though. Penelope said that she wishes that Tom would change his mind and go back to pleasuring himself. Tom couldn't believe that this conversation turned into this. Tom did say that it's been about 8 years since he stopped pleasuring himself. Penelope said that his decisions are usually pretty good but he does chase her around the house sometimes. Howard told Penelope that he's tested Tom with some young interns but he never caves in. Penelope knows that Tom is dedicated to her.
Howard asked Penelope how long she really thinks her son and his new wife are going to last together. Howard said that things are different these days and they won't last. Penelope thinks that it will last a long time though. Howard got back to Tom's pleasuring and asked her how he told her about it. Penelope said that she hasn't made any pact with God so she can pleasure herself if she wants. Howard and Robin talked about Penelope's brother who is a professional surfer. It turns out the guy is really just a very successful entrepreneur who is able to go to the beach and go surfing after he checks things out at work early in the morning.
Howard was asking about how much money everyone gave to Timm at this party but Penelope wasn't saying how much other people gave. Tom said that the biggest gift was $10,000 but he didn't say who gave it. Tom said that he doesn't know how much Mel Karmazin gave and he didn't know if it was more or less than what Howard and Robin gave.
Howard said that Ronnie wasn't acting too crazy at the party but he came in a short time later and said he never did that at the party. Ronnie started freaking out on Gary for saying that. Howard said that some people were surprised that Ronnie was even invited to the party. Ronnie said he was honored to have been invited but he has become friends with Tom over the years. Howard told a quick story about how Beth had tried on a dress that was see through and ended up wearing it to the party. That led to them talking about how Penelope had said that it was ''casual attire'' but she meant that it was ''casual for New York'' and someone actually showed up in jeans and a sweat shirt. Howard told her that when she says ''casual'' she's got to expect that. Penelope said that all of the women that showed up were dressed very nice though.
Howard asked Penelope to call in tomorrow after she finds out exactly what everyone gave. He let her go a short time later so he could take a break. Penelope thanked Robin for spending time with her friends at the wedding. Howard thought that Robin spent about 2 minutes there but she claims she went around and said hello to everyone. It turns out that Mr. X wasn't supposed to show up at the party because he was out of town. He did show up and Howard thought that he swept her right out of there. Artie didn't get all sloppy drunk there at the party either. Howard talked about how good Dana looked at the party. That led to Robin talking about how she ran into Artie's mother on Friday when she was shopping at Nieman Marcus in the Short Hills Mall. She said that Artie's mother isn't just a mom, she's a hot chick. Robin said that Artie's mother has a tattoo on her leg. She was watching her try on some shoes and she saw the tattoo there. Artie said he'd bring his mother in there some time. Gary said that he'd do a line up and have Howard ''Guess Who's Artie's Mom'' sometime. Howard said the party was at The Beacon and their food was really good. He spent a couple more minutes talking about the party and then went to commercial.
Howard played some tape of Sal the Stockbroker and Richard Christy asking some people on the street if they knew who Jimmy Kimmel was. The people they interviewed had no idea who Jimmy was and had never seen his TV show.
Howard had an audio clip from a news report about Crazy Cabbie getting a year long sentence in his tax evasion case. Howard said that no one ever gets time for not paying their taxes but Cabbie did. Robin said that there was only one other person she remembers getting jail time for not paying taxes and it was a soap opera star. She claims that she turned herself in for not paying some taxes herself after hearing that years ago. Howard said that it's interesting how some news reports were saying that Cabbie was from his show. Howard said that Cabbie doesn't have to report to jail until July but he might want to get started early and get it over with. Howard read that he's going to a minimum security jail but he's heard that it's still not fun. He's going to have to wait in line for everything and it won't be very pleasant. Robin said it is kind of surprising that he has to serve a whole year. She wonders if he'll be able to get out early for good behavior.
Howard had Jimmy Kimmel come in since he was waiting out in the green room. He told Jimmy that he wasn't going to interview him because he had nothing to ask him. Jimmy thanked him for that man on the street interview he'd just played a few minutes earlier. It was a great morale booster. Howard got back to the Cabbie discussion and took a call from Dominic Barbara. Dominic said that some people do get jail time for not paying their taxes. He was saying that he feels that the judge was fair in all of this. Dominic was also saying that he didn't want to call Cabbie ''Cabbie'' anymore, he wants to call him Lee because he's changed his life in a lot of ways. He said that Cabbie is a war hero and he's seen what he did in the service when he was in. Dominic doesn't know what's going to happen with his job there at the station. He told Howard that the previous lawyer filed a tax form that wasn't correct and he wasn't sure what happened there. Tom Chiusano came in and said that Cabbie will be working there until he has to go to jail. After that he's not sure what's going to happen. Dominic told Howard and Tom that Cabbie could get out earlier if he's good while he's in jail. Tom said that a year is a long time to hold a job for someone.
Howard said that he spoke to Rob Cross, their program director, and he's thinking about letting Cabbie do his job over the phone from jail. He thought that might be a good idea. Howard took a call from a guy who claims to be a corrections officer. He was going to tell the guys what he was in for but Dominic said that he's going into a federal jail so it's not a state thing like this guy was from. Howard read about what Cabbie is in for and he feels really bad for him. Tom said he feels bad for him as well. Dominic said that a place like Fort Dix is really crowded and that's going to make it tough. Howard said he really feels bad for Cabbie and that year is pretty tough. Cabbie also owes the government about $100,000. Dominic said there are penalties for not paying those taxes and that's why it's so much. The guys were talking about how the guys from Enron did worse and they're not getting this kind of jail time. Jimmy slipped in a crack at Dominic when he said that the guys from Enron had better representation.
Howard and Tom said that they'd both want to get into jail as soon as possible to get it over with. Tom said that Cabbie is really trying to stay clean and sober right now and if he goes to jail, it's not going to be good for him. Howard said he read a description about this guy who went to a minimum security prison and it wasn't very fun. Dominic got in a dig at Jimmy for his earlier joke. He said that Cabbie going to prison is going to affect Jimmy's show... He's losing half of his viewers. The guys spent some time talking about how Cabbie could get out of prison early. Dominic thinks he could get out after 8 months or so. Tom is worried that Cabbie won't be able to stay on his medication if they don't allow him to refill his prescriptions. A listener called in and told Jimmy that maybe he should not pay his taxes and get arrested, then maybe someone would know who he is. The caller was also wondering about the amount of money that Cabbie was making back then. Howard said he was really sad when he found out about the year long sentence. He said he called Cabbie right away after he found out.
Joey Boots called in and goofed on Cabbie about this stuff because he's always talking about how patriotic he is and then he doesn't pay his taxes. Boots went off on him for a minute and said that Cabbie is a hypocrite. He was disappointed in him for what he did. Joey was going to get drunk and try to forget about all of this so Howard let him go. Bobo called in and wondered how Cabbie is going to handle the other prisoners who might know about his past gay experiences. Howard said he knows what prison is like after living with his parents for a while. Dominic said he knows what prison is like because he was married 3 times.
Howard had some audio of Mike Gange interviewing him after the sentencing. He started to play the tape but Dominic and Jimmy got in a couple of digs at each other. Dominic asked Jimmy if prisoners can watch his show in prison. Jimmy said he didn't know so he'd ask Dominic's clients. In the audio clip Cabbie talked about his sentencing and how he felt the judge was fair. While he and Dominic were being interviewed you could hear a garbage truck in the background so Jimmy said that was Dominic's lunch being delivered. Dominic said that Cabbie was making more money than Jimmy is now and Jimmy is on a network TV program. Howard took a call from a guy who said that Cabbie is going to be in a minimum security prison where he won't be bothered and it's not going to be that bad. Howard read about how bad it's going to be and it's not as easy as this guy was making it sound. There will be fights and stuff like that there according to the caller. Dominic said they do torture the prisoners by making them watch ''Jimmy Kimmel Live'' every night. Jimmy said that Dominic is fat so he won't be around for long so he's not worried about him.
A listener called in and said that Howard isn't treating Cabbie right in all of this but no one could understand what the guy's point was. Jimmy and Dominic were still going back and forth with little digs at each other. Jimmy was goofing on Dominic for being fat and Dominic was saying that Jimmy's show should be off the air by the time Cabbie is in jail so he can go visit him. Jimmy was saying that it sounds like Cabbie is going to be the most dangerous guy in the minimum security prison from what he was hearing. He said that Cabbie will probably go right in and take over. Howard had to take another break after that.
Howard went to lunch with Jimmy and his girlfriend Sarah Silverman yesterday. He talked about how Sarah was saying that she wants to marry Jimmy once he gets his divorce. Jimmy said she was kidding about that and she really doesn't want to be married to him. He says that Sarah is really relaxed about the whole thing and she's not pushing him to marry her. Howard let a phone caller through to tell Jimmy that Sarah is too good for him.
Artie asked Jeff how he got to his comedy show. Jeff said his webmaster drove him there. He can't drive him to work every day though. Jeff also claims that there are no taxi cabs up in his area either. Jeff said he had a deal with King of All Blacks' friend James to get in a plug for a radio show he was supposed to do and he never got the money. Jeff said that he thought he had a thousand bucks coming his way so he spent a bunch of money on some stuff he didn't actually need. Artie said that Jeff was also asking him to borrow $1000 from him. He wondered when he was going to get that money back. Jeff said that this guy James owes him the money so it should come from him. Artie told Jeff that there's no way he'd loan Jeff money because some other guy ripped him off. He has nothing to do with that. Howard let Jeff go after that.
Howard read that the guy Bob Cosmai, who runs Hyundai, is a real scum bag and he once got caught trying to hitch hike while running in a foot race. Howard also read that the guy's wife drives a BMW, not a Hyundai. Howard said he read all of this in the NY Times. The guy is proud of the fact that he was trying to cheat in the race so he could win the race. The coach of the track team was the guy who actually caught him trying to hitch hike. Howard said this guy can't be trusted to run on his own and it's no wonder Hyundai is a car for gays... not that there's anything wrong with that. Howard said that if this guy can't be trusted to run on a track team on his own, why should anyone trust their company. The guy has no credibility on anything. Howard said that the guy can't be trusted and he doesn't even like the cars he's selling. Howard read that the guy's favorite car is a Pontiac GTO, not a Hyundai. That's the kind of guy he is. Howard said he'll continue to talk about this guy too.
Ralph called in and talked about how Hyundai has a car out now that looks so much like a Jaguar that they're getting sued over it. He also had a few words to say about Jimmy's show. He was saying that they've made a lot of changes to the show and he doesn't seem to like it all that much. He does like the Cousin Sal stuff though. Howard went on to talk about Brad Pitt being with Angelina Jolie recently. Howard said that if he had to choose between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie, he'd be right out the door with Angelina. Howard said that Jennifer always has a puss on her face in every picture he's seen of her. Jimmy said that all of the pictures he's seen lately were of her with that pusss on her face.
Howard said he hates when he finds a great product that really works for him... and then it gets discontinued. He mentioned this product made by Redken that's a wax for his hair. He said that Redken sent him a note saying that they'd discontinued this wax. He said they sent him some other products to use but not the stuff he wants to use. Howard said the new products just don't work for him and he's pissed that they did that.
A listener called in and said that Hyundai was sued a few years ago for overstating their horsepower levels. Howard said that wasn't surprising after what he read about the guy who runs the company. Howard said there are so many better cars that are out there and that are cheaper. The caller was also saying that the car falls apart when you buy one. He said he bought one and the car had a bunch of little things going wrong with it. The car was not a strongly made car according to the caller. He said he'd recommend any other car over a Hyundai. Howard said he's going to look into this guy who runs the company some more. He also wants to find out more about Hyundai and what they've done wrong.
A listener asked Jimmy why he didn't mention that Sarah just had a show picked up by Comedy Central. Jimmy said he didn't know why he didn't mention that. The caller also asked why they don't update the uncensored E! shows online (Movielink(TM)-Downloadable movies are here)
. Howard claimed that he wasn't aware of that and that he'd have to get some more up there.
Howard and Robin talked about a ''60 Minutes'' report that was on last night about the Mexican Mafia. Howard mentioned some of the stuff they were talking about during this report and how smart these guys seem to be. Bobo called in during that discussion and said that he teaches driving courses and always recommends getting anything but a Hyundai because they're not very good cars in crashes. He said they just can't take a hit so he recommends buying a Toyota Camry over any Hyundai. Howard read an article about this Hyundai law suit and said he's got to look into that more.
Howard said that he tried to watch a movie ''National Treasure'' the other night and it was the worst movie. He said he took the DVD out of the player and ended up smashing it on the floor because it was unwatchable. Gary told Howard that it wasn't a movie meant for him, it was more of a kid's movie in his opinion. Howard pointed out that he watches plenty of movies that are made for kids and they don't suck like this one did. He had to take a break after that.
High Pitch Eric called in as Kelly Clarkson and asked Jimmy how he's doing. Jimmy said that those guys used to call him quite a bit but they've been laying off for a while now and he appreciates that. Howard had to take another break after that.
Howard asked Jimmy what he thinks about Adam Carolla doing a show on Comedy Central in the same time slot as his show. Jimmy said he doesn't know when that show is actually going to air but he'd prefer that it not air against his. Jimmy also mentioned that Adam has a show on TLC where he fixes up a house and tires to make money on it. Jimmy also mentioned that he has a show with this kid Andy Milonakis who was actually there in the green room. Andy came in a minute later and demonstrated his rap talents. Jimmy said the kid can come up with this rap stuff quick if you just give him a subject. Andy told Howard about how he got on Jimmy's show and how his room mate wanted him to tell Kimmel to get lost and not do the show.
Howard asked Jimmy about this show that he got for Andy. Jimmy said that Andy used to be on his show but ABC didn't want him on anymore so Jimmy hooked him up with MTV and created a show for him there. Andy told Howard about how it was probably a 9/11 joke that he told on the show one time that got him kicked off of Jimmy's show. Andy won't say just how old he is for some reason. Robin asked him how old he was and he said ''72.'' Andy's new show will be airing on MTV on Sundays starting in June. Howard let Andy go after that and had Robin start her news segment. Jimmy hung out to comment on some of the news stories Robin brought up.
Ralph called in and said that Andy was annoying and that maybe Jimmy should be putting all of his energy into his own show instead of all of these other shows he's working on. Jimmy asked Ralph what he does for a living and how he has time to write this stuff down. Ralph eventually told Jimmy he's great and that he loves him. Ralph also talked about what a bad day is for him. He said he hates it when Howard leaves tissues in his pockets and they get all over the other clothes when they go through the wash. Howard told him that it gives him something to do so he doesn't bother taking them out of his pockets.
Robin told a story about Howard doing something kind of funny to her one time. She said they were at this event together and they were heading back to their car. Howard's daughter had to use the bathroom and they had a portable potty for her to use. She was using it when someone said ''Hey Howard!'' Howard jumped into the car and locked the doors leaving Robin his kid and his ex-wife out in the parking lot. Howard said he was asked to get into the car because he was drawing attention to them but that's now how Robin remembered it. Howard had Robin get back to her news after that.
Howard went off on Hyundai once again during the news. He brought up the article about how they have to pay like $85 million in a class action suit about their horsepower claims. Howard said that not only are the cars not cool but they're lying about the horsepower ratings. Howard changed their name to ''Hyun-gay'' becuase the cars are so uncool to him.
During the news Jimmy was asked if Sarah Silverman drinks his ''protein shake.'' Jimmy said that doesn't happen and he wondered if it really makes a difference wehn a girl will do that because he's never had anyone do that for him. Gary told him that it really does make a difference in his opinion. They spent a couple of minutes on that but the delay was hit during the discussion. Howard wrapped up the show around 10:30am.
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Howard started off the show talking about an article he read about a poll that says most people would be willing to work 10 hour days if they could get Fridays off. Artie was talking about how he feels burned out with his work schedule as it is and if he had a kid thrown into the mix, he'd be dead.
Howard quickly changed subjects and played a news report from Tampa, Florida. The news reporter called Crazy Cabbie a ''moron'' and talked about his tax evasion problem and the jail sentence he got for boasting about not paying his taxes on Howard's show. Cabbie was picked as ''Moron of the Week'' on that station. Cabbie (Lee Mroszak) came in a few seconds later with his hair shaved off. Cabbie said he was trying to perm his hair and it ended up coming out way too tight so he shaved it off. Howard said he saw video of Cabbie at his sentencing and Cabbie looked pretty bad and almost like he was being disrespectful to the judge. Cabbie told Howard about this reporter who was a dick to him and how the guy screwed him over. He said the NY Post got the story right but that reporter, from the Daily News, got it wrong. Howard said he heard that Cabbie's jail time is supposed to start in July but it could be delayed because of over crowding in the jail he's supposed to stay in. Cabbie said he's trying to find out from Dominic Barbara what's going on but he hasn't heard back yet. Cabbie said he knows that he's going to jail and it's not going to be fun. Artie said he did 5 days in the L.A. County Jail and that was pretty brutal.
Howard read a story about the jail and it's not as bad as some jails. The guys talked to Cabbie about his gloating about not paying his taxes on the show and how Cabbie ended up getting a visit from the feds about that. Cabbie said that he had a book about taxes that basically told him he didn't have to pay taxes. He said he had the book out on his table when the Feds came over and they picked it when they saw it there. That didn't help things out of course. Artie thinks Cabbie could have a case against the writer of that book since he ended up getting jail time for not paying his taxes. Cabbie said that he will probably write his own book while he's there in jail. Howard said he's thinking that Cabbie is the guy that the other prisoners are going to be afraid of instead of him being afraid of them. Cabbie said he thought that he was going to have to go to jail as soon as he was sentenced. He didn't know he was going to have time to get his things together. He said it was like a punch in the stomach when he heard he was getting a full year sentence. Cabbie said the tears flowed after he heard that and it was just the reality of the whole thing hitting him that brought tears to his eyes. Howard said that he realizes how tough this is going to be for Cabbie and he feels for him.
Dominic Barbara called in and started to get into how well Cabbie is handling all of this stuff right now. Howard doesn't think he's handling it all that well and he's just hiding his fear. Cabbie said that he's really in a different place right now and he is handling it pretty well. Dominic said that they're going to be taking Cabbie in and test him before he actually goes to jail. Robin figured if they did test him, they'd end up putting him in a maximum security prison but Dominic said that won't be the case. Dominic said that the biggest mistake in Cabbie's case was the fact that he talked about not paying his taxes on the air. Cabbie said he has some things that he needs to take care of while he's gone. He's got a dog that needs to be taken care of and he wants to pay for his apartment for the full year that he'll be gone. He would like the dog to stay there in the house that he knows. He said he had to leave the dog with someone else when he was in rehab and that didn't work out so well.
Howard was wondering if Cabbie could do his radio show over the phone from jail. Dominic said he asked and they said ''no'' to that. Howard told Cabbie he could do a blog for his web site or something. Cabbie said he could do that. Gary came in and asked Cabbie if his wacky behavior was real when his court case was going on. Cabbie said that all of that was real and not a put on. Howard took a call from a guy who told Cabbie that he's got to knock someone out when he gets to jail to get respect from the guys there. Cabbie said he heard that punching someone out isn't what you have to do. He said he just has to find the right crowd to hang around with.
Another caller, Tim, said that he was at Fort Dix for 3 years and it was pretty easy. He said it was no joke but it was pretty easy. He explained to Cabbie how he'll start out in a 12 man room and then go to a 6 man room and eventually to a 2 man room. Howard asked Tim what Cabbie can bring to jail when he goes. He said he can bring socks and underwear but no razors or anything like that. Howard also asked him if Cabbie should bring K-Y just in case there's gay sex. The guy said that's not needed and that stuff doesn't happen in a minimum security prison. Tim said his celebrity status could help him out as well. The food there is pretty decent according to Tim. They have Brunch on weekends. Tim said that they do a strip search on the prisoners and that's the most humiliating part of the whole thing. Robin asked what the visitors area is like over there. Tim said there is a full contact visiting area and his family can touch him if they want. Cabbie said ''what family?'' when he heard that. Cabbie said he did get a call from his birth mother and he will give her a call back. Howard said he might go visit Cabbie but he changed his mind a short time later when he heard that they alternate visits on weekends depending on the last number of the guy's prisoner number. Tim told Cabbie that every fight he was in over there were in the TV room. Howard said that if a big black guy turns the channel on Cabbie, what should he do. Tim said you have to hold your own. Artie suggested that if someone is watching the Steve Harvey show, he shouldn't change the channel to ''Everybody Loves Raymond.'' Howard wondered if a girl goes to visit you in jail, can she use her hand on him. Tim said there are ways to do that but he's never seen it done. Cabbie said he's going to try and go the whole year without pleasuring himself. Howard told him that he can just get under his blanket and give himself a tug if he wants.
Howard said that if he was in jail like that, he'd read every book he never got to read as a kid. He also suggested that Cabbie keep a journal about what goes on in there. Cabbie has an idea about what he's going to write about and it won't be about his time in prison. Howard took a call from a group of people who claimed to be the IRS. There was a group of people laughing their asses off at him. Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that her heart is broken and she'd love to be able to help him out with his dog. She also told him to take it one day at a time and stick to his 12 step program to keep himself clean. Cabbie said that he's in a happy place now and he doesn't want to go back to doing what he's done in the past. He seems to think that he'll keep himself clean while he's in jail. Howard told Cabbie how bad he feels about him going off to jail and how he really does feel bad for him. Cabbie said that Howard will be over at ''Eh, eh, eh'' (SIRIUS) by the time he gets out of jail. Cabbie isn't sure if he'll have a job there at WXRK when he gets out of jail. He has a job until he leaves for jail but after that, he's not sure at this point.
Howard said that Cabbie is the only guy he knows that has to have a babysitter while he's on the air. He said he's pulling for Cabbie to make it through the whole thing. He believes that he'll stay off the drugs and he's got a lot of friends there pulling for him. Howard said he doesn't know if he could do it if he had to go to jail. Cabbie said that Howard was going to make him cry if he went on. Howard had to take a break a short time later.
Howard said that Jeff Probst stopped up at the station yesterday to visit Gary. They have a weird friendship going and Howard isn't sure what he's trying to do. Howard said that Jeff gave Gary some stuff from the show from their ''Bob on a Booey'' challenge that was supposed to have been a tribute to Gary. Howard said Jeff came up there with his current girlfriend and Gary told him she's really hot. Howard got back to The Bachelor thing a minute later and said that the chick that Charlie picked is going to move out to L.A. So she can be closer to him. The whole show was a train wreck and he can't believe that he put in 3 hours watching the show last night.
Howard got an Instant Message from his buddy Ross last night but he had to tell him that he couldn't talk because he was watching The Bachelor. Ross was on his way out to play softball while Howard was watching The Bachelor. Howard played some audio clips from the show where Charlie was crying as he was telling this chick that he was picking her. Charlie told her how great he'll be as her boyfriend and then broke down weeping and crying when he gave her his ''promise ring.'' Howard said ''what a fag'' after hearing that. Robin was amazed that Howard sat through 3 hours of that crap. Howard said he could have sat through 6 hours.
The guys spent a couple of minutes talking about other reality TV shows and how wacky the people are who do those shows. Howard said he used to think that Jeff Probst was a pretty normal guy until he started dating one of the contestants. Howard was talking about the gay guy on Survivor, Cobey, and how he announced that he adopted a kid. He said that was just creepy to him and that guy embarrasses all other gay people. Howard said he'd rather be raised by a dog than that guy. Howard had to take another break a short time after that.
Howard said they have this Blind Beauty Pageant coming up soon and he's looking forward to it. He said that regular guys could probably get these chicks because they're blind and they can't tell what you look like. Howard joked that a bunch of people thought that Beth was blind and that's why she was dating him. Artie said Dana has a dog and that's what people think about her as well.
Howard brought up Tom Chiusano's son's wedding party that they went to on Saturday night. He said that a bunch of people from the station were invited and then there was a secondary list of invites that went out because a lot of people said ''no'' to the first invite. Howard said there were a lot of people who were walking around at the party who were on that ''second tier.'' Howard said it was kind of a bittersweet invitation for those people. Tom Chiusano came in and said that he found out that the place could hold more people than he thought it could so that's why he invited those extra people. Howard said that they were packed in that place like sardines so they really couldn't hold more people. Howard told Tom that inviting those ''second tier'' people wasn't a good idea. Tom said that there were some people who showed interest in coming to the party and those were the people he invited. Gary said that the invites seemed to be based on the amount of time people worked there. He said there was one guy who was there for about 2 and a half years and he was invited while a guy who was there for just over 2 years who wasn't. Gary went through some of the people on the list and then the guys brought up Benjy who wasn't invited. Benjy said he wasn't all that upset about not being invited even though he's been there for over 7 years. Scott the Engineer has been there for 20 years and he wasn't invited either.
Tom defended himself saying that there was plenty of room for the amount of people they had at the party that night. Howard didn't know about the back room that Gary told him about. Howard asked Tom if he found out how much Mel Karmazin gave his son as a wedding gift. Tom said he didn't know and he wasn't going to ask.
Howard said that he has a guy who buys stock for him and it never seems like he's making any money in the deal. That led to him talking about how he got some paperwork for a class action suit that was being brought against some company he owned stock in. He filled out a ton of paperwork and got a letter back after a while. He said he's been sticking with it for about 2 years and he ended up getting $12.31 in from the class action law suit. He said he actually endorsed the check and cashed it just because he sat through it for so long. Gary said he's had a couple of things like that and he got like ten bucks for one suit against DirecTV. Howard said he's still pissed about how many plugs he gave to ''The Contender'' and how Jeff Zuker never thanked him. He said it would be nice if some of these shows that they plugged would send over some of their stars to do the show. Robin said that she used to plug ''The X-Files'' and the most she ever got was an advance copy of the show once in a while. Sal the Stockbroker came in and told Howard that the guy from ''The Contender'' who called in last week went from being in last place in the online voting, to first place after he asked for people to vote for him. That's the kind of power Howard has with these shows.
Howard introduced the first woman, Jacleen, who was wearing a leather skirt and halter top. She claimed to be the most blind woman of all of them. Jacleen said that she lost her vision at 19 and she's 36 now. She just got married 2 weeks ago and thinks that she had one of the wildest weddings ever. She weighs 108 pounds and has a 34 B chest size. She said she'd be willing to get naked if she wins the contest. Howard wanted to see it before she wins though so he asked her to drop the skirt right then. She did it and Howard said she wasn't bad for a 36 year old chick. He had her step down so Ralph asked if she could take her top off. She did but she had a backless, strapless bra on. She had to peel it off of herself to show her breasts. Howard said she wasn't bad though. Howard said she's the first woman to get topless in the studio with a cane. Gary said the creepiest thing is that Jacleen is there with her dad.
Next up was Michelle who had a dog there with her. Michelle said that she can see a little bit but not all that well with all of the lights in her eyes. She has a seeing eye dog and a cane. Howard read some notes about Michelle and found out that she can see some things in her peripheral vision but not much straight ahead. She knows a bit about what Howard looks like from what she remembers in the past. Howard ended up yelling at Doug Goodstein for making noise during the interview. Michelle told Howard that she couldn't get naked because she has to go teach a class after the show today. Howard asked her when the last time was she had sex with a man. She said it's been a couple of months now. Howard said she's a great catch because she's hot and she can't tell if you're and ugly dude or not.
Contestant number 3 was Anita. Robin said that she walked in without a cane. She said that she is legally blind but she can see some things. She said it's kind of like she's got built in beer goggles. Howard said they had a doctor check her out and she's definitely legally blind and slightly worse. She is able to get around on her own but she can't drive. She's unemployed right now because she's a student. Anita claims that she just had sex on Sunday so she doesn't have a problem getting guys. Gary said that she could get corneal implants and be cured. She doesn't have the money so this contest win could help bring her sight back. Anita was willing to take her pants off so Fred gave her a drum roll as she stripped down. She took her top off and showed her bra covered breasts.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who told Howard that he's going to hell for this. He said the only thing that was more wrong was the ''It's Just Wrong.'' Double A called in and said he agreed with the other guy but he asked if they could get them to do some girl on girl stuff. Howard let him go and introduced Joanna. She was also carrying a cane. She said that she is also legally blind. She can make out images on the street in day light but she couldn't see much in the studio. She was willing to take her skirt off for the guys after Howard spent a minute talking to her. She took the skirt off and then took her top off. Ralph said her breasts were pretty nice but she didn't want to show them. Ralph was saying that they didn't look real to him but Joanna said that they are.
Howard introduced Mary Ann next. She has a fake eye in her right socket. She was wearing glasses when she came in and Gary thought she looked much better with them on. She showed the guys what she looked like with them on and off. Howard and Ralph thought she didn't look all that bad with them off. Mary Ann is married but she doesn't know what her husband looks like. Artie jokingly told her that they legally have to tell her that the guy is black. Howard spent a minute talking to her and asked to see some skin but she didn't want to show anything but her flat stomach. Howard said it looked like she had a really good body from what he saw.
Howard introduced the final contestant, Maricar, who doesn't speak. She's both deaf and blind. She doesn't use her voice at all so the voice we heard was her interpreter. Howard asked her to get naked but that wasn't going to happen. Howard found out that Maricar is married and gets laid all the time. Howard asked her if she wanted to take off any of her clothes. She wasn't into it. The husband had come in and he didn't want her to get naked. The husband told Howard that she didn't want to date him at first because she was dating another guy. He had to learn sign language just so he could date her. She has to read his sign language with her hands.
Howard said it was time to pick the winner of the contest. He was going to go around the room and ask each of the judges for their picks. Howard said that the $5,000 grand prize was courtesy of the movie ''Alone in the Dark'' from Lion's Gate Films. He asked Robin for her pick out of the six contestants. Robin said it was a tough decision and went through each person and gave her vote to Anita. Hook Nose Mike was next. He said that the one girl who took her top off, Jacleen, should get some points but he wasn't picking her. He said he'd have to give a vote to Anita. Ralph was next. He said he wasn't going to vote for Anita because she wasn't that blind and she could be cured. He gave his vote to Mary Ann. Howard agreed with Ralph and also gave Mary Ann his vote. He said that she's really blind and she'd probably never leave him because she'll never know what he looks like. Fred was up next. He gave his vote to Anita but he'd be willing to give Joanna his vote if she got topless. That didn't happen so it stayed with Anita. Artie said that he'd have to give his vote to Anita as well and said that she should go get that operation. Howard gave all of the other girls $500 each for coming in. He also told the girls that they were all beautiful. He was starting to wrap up but had to ask them how they know when to stop wiping. The girls said that they just keep wiping until they feel that it's clean. One of the girls asked why sighted people have to look at it to see if they're done. Howard said he has to look and make sure he's all done because he doesn't want to leave anything there. They had the delay hit a couple of times during that discussion of course. Howard eventually wrapped up and went to break.
Richard said that he and Roger are spoiled because they get to see movies in screening rooms without all of the commercials that they play with the public viewings. Richard and Howard talked about a couple of movies that are out now. They brought up ''Monster In Law'' and Richard said it was just horrible. That didn't stop the movie from making a ton of money though. Richard said that J-Lo doesn't even look that good in the movie and she was horrible acting in it as well. Howard asked him if there are other actresses out there who are just horrible. Richard mentioned Ashton Kutcher while they were talking about that and he seems to think that he's a horrible actor. Howard always mentions Amanda Peet when he's talking about horrible actresses. Richard doesn't understand that.
Howard said that Richard wrote an article about Artie's ''Queer Eye'' make over a while back. Howard read that article and talked about just how homophobic Artie was during that whole thing. Fred played some audio clips from Artie's make over when he was drunk and yelling at the gay guys.
Richard told Howard that the new Star Wars movie is the best Star Wars since ''Empire Strikes Back.'' Ralph wondered why people should go to see the movie after George Lucas made two horrible movies before this. Howard agreed with Ralph and said that they just keep getting turned off by all of his movies but they keep going back for more. Howard said that he wants to see the movie but he doesn't want to see it with people. Richard said he and Roger got to see the movie in a private screening. He said that the security guards searched their bags before they went in to make sure they weren't going to video tape the movie or something. Howard asked Richard if there's anything else cool coming out soon. Richard said that ''Batman Begins'' looks good. Katie Holmes plays the girlfriend in the movie so Howard is kind of turned off by that. There's also a Superman movie in the works.
Howard asked Richard about the movie ''Hitch'' which Robin loved for some reason. Richard said the movie was okay and he even gave it a thumbs up. Zolar called in as ''Stu Pitt'' and asked Richard if he's ever gone out to eat with Roger Ebert's wife who is black. He started to call her names so Howard cut him off. Richard isn't married himself so Howard wondered about his sexual preferences. Richard told Howard that he is dating and he's happy not being married at the age of 45. He said he likes having his own place and having his own space. Richard said all of his friends tell him not to get married so he has no reason to do it. Howard thought he was smart. He doesn't have any kids and he's never had a woman move in and stay with him. Artie was busting his balls about being gay so Richard was coming back with some digs at the new movie he's got in the works.
Howard asked Richard if he's ever dated an actress. Richard said he has done that and he had to review her movie. The review was before he dated her and then after he dated her. Howard wondered who it was but Richard wasn't giving up her name. He said that the relationship didn't last very long though. Howard went through a bunch of names but Richard was denying all of them.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who asked about the movie ''Unleashed.'' Richard said the movie is insane because it's about a guy who raises a guy like a dog. He didn't sound like he liked it that much. They spent some time talking about movies that they've seen and regretted their review. Richard said that he's done that a couple of times. Howard has also done that with movies he's seen. He said he was kind of down on both ''Hell Boy'' and ''The Hulk'' but now he really likes the movies. Ralph asked Richard if he thinks Adam Sandler sucks. Richard and Artie both said that he doesn't suck. They think he has his little niche and some people like that stuff.
Howard asked Richard about this book of his called ''Schlock Value: Hollywood at Its Worst.'' Richard writes about these actors who keep making movies even though they don't make a lot of money after having just one big hit. He mentioned Julia Roberts as one of the people in the book. Vin Diesel is also in the book and Richard said that he was good in some smaller parts he played but he can't carry a movie. They also talked about Arnold Schwarzenegger and how his career was basically over before he got into politics. Earlier in the interview Richard had mentioned that he thought Mike Ditka is a better actor than Ashton Kutcher is. Artie said he loves the fact that a major movie reviewer is saying that.
Howard asked Richard which movie is the best one this year so far. Richard said that ''Crash'' is great and Sandra Bullock was great in the movie. He also talked about the Academy Awards and how there were some people who got ripped off. Howard got back to asking Richard about the actress he dated. He asked him if the woman drank his ''protein shake'' while she was dating him. Richard didn't want to talk about that stuff though. The guys kept digging and tried to find out if she was an Oscar winner or a Golden Globe winner. He wasn't saying a word. Howard wrapped up after that and gave him a plug for his book and for ''Ebert and Roeper.'' Ralph mentioned that Howard dated some actresses when he was dating. He said that Howard dated one actress who went from an A-list celebrity to a B-list. Howard didn't seem to want to get into that so he cut him off and went to commercial.
Howard had Robin start her news and ended up talking about how he really wants to get out of there because of the way they're chopping up his show these days. He said that he can't wait to move to the new place and he hopes that people will follow him over there. He said if they don't follow him, that's okay with him too.
Howard got Shuli on the phone to talk about the Robert Blake interview on Larry King's show. Shuli said it was the best thing on TV last night and told him about some of the wacky things Blake was saying to Larry. Howard had some audio clips from the interview. In one clip Blake mentioned that he just had a new grandchild added to his family. Larry asked Blake if his 5 year old daughter knew about what was going on when he was going through his trial. Shuli said that you had to see the look on Blake's face when he was asked about that. Blake sounded pretty pissed during that part of the interview. Shuli said that Howard's name was mentioned during the interview as well. Howard played more clips from the interview where Blake claimed that God has been on his shoulder since the day he was conceived and how his parents didn't want him and tried to use a coat hanger to get rid of him. He also mentioned Howard's name during that clip after saying that he had to go through some kind of deposition and it was more like a Howard Stern show. Blake said he thought that all of this nonsense was going to be over once the trial was over but that didn't happen. Blake also made a weird comment about Larry banging an elephant while he was in college when he was trying to make a point about how the press makes up stories about him. Blake is very defensive when he's being questioned about anything. Larry King took some phone calls for Blake during the interview. Shuli said that all of the callers were women, there weren't any men. Howard couldn't take anymore of Blake's nonsense so he stopped the clips and took a break.
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The show started off with Howard wondering what day it was and what he was going to do. He played a new song parody with clips of Gary the Retard put to the tune of ''Freak Out.'' Gary the Retard was on the phone right after the song and he was wondering why he can't get on the air these days. He complained about the interns there making fun of him while he's on hold. Gary complained that he was on the phone for a while on Monday and never made it on the air. Howard told Gary he heard what happened and played tape of Sal the Stockbroker goofing on him for a few minutes with Richard Christy. Gary laughed after hearing that. He told Howard that he's been getting calls at home a lot lately so Howard played some more of their goofs. They had Wood Yi (Steve the Engineer) talking to Gary when he called in to complain about the interns not letting him get on the air. Gary was still thinking that it was interns goofing on him even though it was Sal and Richard yanking his chain. Howard played yet another bit where Gary called Sal to complain about the interns goofing on him and Sal put him on the line with clips of Rosie O'Donnell's retarded character. Gary the Retard was laughing his ass off when he heard the replays of his calls. Howard told Gary to call him back in 2 hours and they'd do it again. Gary said he'd call back but he had no idea that they were going to yank his chain again.
Howard mentioned that Gary is going to be coming into town for the Wack Pack Conclave sometime soon. Gary (Baba Booey) told Howard that it should be happening in the next 2 weeks or so. Howard said that he does get kind of mad at those guys for goofing on Gary so much but they are pretty funny.
Cabbie called in and said that hearing that clip again was pretty tough and he realizes how dumb that was to do. Howard said that it was almost like Cabbie screaming out for attention and that's just what he got. Now he's off the drugs and stuff and he's doing much better now that he's on his meds. Cabbie said he's trying to work things out before he goes to jail in July. He has to find someone to take care of his dog Milton. He told Howard he has to make a book deal before he goes because he needs to pay his rent for a year. Robin said he'd be better off begging for money. Howard said Cabbie has shaved off all of his hair because of a bad perm he got and Fred told him he looks like an Evil Curley from the Three Stooges.
Cabbie asked why there's a painting from another deejay in the hall there in the hallway. Howard said that this deejay Demos painted something for them and it looked pretty cool so they hung it up in the hall. Cabbie thinks that it's an insult because Howard threw away the painting he did for them. Cabbie doesn't like Demos because he thinks he threw him under the bus for something he did on the air during his own radio show. Howard told Cabbie that Demos is an artist and sells his paintings unlike Cabbie. Gary told Cabbie that it was the E! crew who hung the picture up, not him. Cabbie kept saying that it was Gary trying to get in a little dig at him but Gary said that's not the case.
Howard read a letter he got from a guy who thinks that Cabbie is going to get into big trouble while he's in jail. The writer said that Cabbie will probably try to show off and will get into fights and will probably end up in solitary confinement. The writer thinks that Cabbie will end up with a scar on his face from getting punched out and will be scarred for life once he gets out of there. Cabbie said he's just going to go do his time and he's not going to listen to people who think they know what's going to happen. Cabbie said this is all very humbling because he's going to jail for a year. He doesn't need some guy giving those guys advice on how to treat him when he goes to jail. Cabbie sounded like he was pissed about what that guy was saying so Gary came in and tried to calm him down. Howard told Cabbie he was getting really angry with that one e-mail and he might want to stay calm when he's in jail. Robin said she was scared that Cabbie was going to be one of these guys who's going to think he's special because he's going to be doing time. Gary agreed and said that it will eventually become a badge of honor for Cabbie. Cabbie said he won't brag about doing time because he knows that this is a punishment for what he did wrong. He said that the guys on the show like to drag all of this stuff out on the air.
Cabbie changed subjects and brought up Britney Spears' reality TV show and how bad it was. He spent a minute on that before Howard took a call from a guy who said that Cabbie's career will be over after he goes to jail. Cabbie doesn't believe that though. Another caller said that they have to get Cabbie off the air already. The caller also mentioned that they want Artie to come to Detroit to do a comedy show. Cabbie said that Detroit is an ''arm pit'' of a city and goofed on it for a few seconds. Howard told Cabbie that they're going to replace him on the station with Demos and then told him that Demos' paintings were going to be hung up in Fort Dix when he goes to jail there. He was just kidding about that stuff. Gary told Howard that they took the Demos painting out of the hall and hung it up in the Green Room so no one will see it out in the halls anymore. Fred played Cabbie's theme song as they were going to break.
Howard read that the show ''Desperate Housewives'' beat the Survivor finale in the ratings on Sunday night. Howard said that even ''Extreme Makeover'' did pretty well. Robin said she thinks ''Desperate Housewives'' is actually a great show and she really enjoys it. Howard didn't make it past the first episode because he thought it was so bad. He said he's really sick of seeing interviews with the stars of that show too.
Howard had some stuff to go through. He said that they have this service where you can have an operator read a message you type to them. Howard said there's some guy having this IP Relay leave messages for them and they leave some really wacky messages. The operators read the messages and goof on people on the show without even knowing it. Howard said they think that the guy leaving the messages through the IP Relay is really a dwarf. Howard told a story about Ozzy Osbourne that he heard. He said that Ozzy once had a midget working for him on tour and when the guy wasn't doing his job right, Ozzy took him and threw him in the cargo hold of the tour bus. When he was told he can't do that, he said it's his midget and he can do what he wants with him.
Howard complained about the guys at NBC not kissing their asses after they promote the hell out of ''The Contender'' week after week. He complained about that yesterday for a few minutes but still hasn't heard anything. He did get an offer from some guy who flies the Fuji blimp to take the crew on a flight in the blimp while it's in the city this summer. Howard said they also got a note from a guy who sells offensive t-shirts and has gotten cease and desist letters about a bunch of them. Howard read about a bunch of the t-shirts and which ones they've gotten cease and desist letters on. He said that they have some of the t-shirts that the guy sent them and they may give them away on the air or something. They have shirts that say stuff like:
Howard said he received an award in the mail and it was nicer than any Emmy or Oscar. It was the Wired Magazine Renegade Award and it was a nice piece of glass. He wasn't impressed with where the award came from but he does have it on display in his office. He thanked the readers of Wired magazine for voting for him. He said that his agent told him that he didn't win an Emmy or an Oscar or Golden Globe or... about 50 other awards, and then showed him what he did win. Artie said that he's held one of Sam Simon's 14 Emmy Awards and they're actually pretty flimsy. Artie said that Sam keeps that stuff on display in his office. He also told a quick story about Sam's house and how he gives him a tour of his house and shows off the art work he has. Howard figures he uses that stuff when he's trying to impress chicks at his house. He had to take a break right after that.
Howard pretended that they weren't live on the air and asked the guy to repeat his story. He counted down from 3 and had him start all over from the beginning. Fred continued to play his fart sounds but Howard was ready to let him out of his misery and gave him another plug for the web site where the fence will be auctioned off. Howard let him go a short time later.
The guy's story was pretty boring. Howard took a call from Ralph who said that the guy is delusional and couldn't believe that he's trying to auction off this fence. Howard let Ralph go so he could get to the girls who wanted to win implants.
Howard warned the girls that they were going to have to do something pretty wacky. He then brought in Jeff Levy who is this guy who has a vomit fetish. Howard had Jeff tell the girls that he likes to have girls vomit on him. The girls were all grossed out by the guy. They said that they found him kind of creepy and weird. Howard said that the guy turns his stomach. Jeff said that he just paid a woman to vomit on him about a week ago. It costs him somewhere over $200 to get the girls to vomit on him. Jeff also told the guys about how he did a video shoot where a girl vomited into his bathtub while he watched. He wasn't naked in the video though. He mentioned that it was on VomitOnline.com.
Howard told the girls that Jeff was going to lay down on the floor nude and the first girl to vomit on him would win the implants. Gary was already getting sick just thinking about what was about to happen. Howard wanted him to stay in the studio the whole time but he didn't want to. Leann said that she would only do this if the other girls did it. She didn't want to be the only one who did it. Carrie said that she could win this whole thing no problem. Howard was surprised that the girls were actually going to do this. He had Jeff get on the floor after taking his shirt off. Howard told the girls when to start and they tried to make themselves vomit on Jeff. You could hear some gagging sounds for a few seconds. Then Leann puked on him and won the competition. Anna was kind of upset that she wasn't able to do it before Leann. Gary turned away when it was going on but accidentally saw it on the E! replay. He was coughing a bit after seeing that. Carrie and Anna didn't eat anything this morning so they weren't able to puke. Leann said that she didn't eat anything but she puked anyway. Carrie said she came all the way from Florida for this thing so she was kind of bummed out about not winning. Anna was about to cry so Howard felt kind of bad and asked her what was wrong. She said she was okay. Howard told Anna that she really doesn't need the implants but Jeff was rubbing the vomit into his stomach so everyone was getting grossed out by him.
Howard told Leann that she'd be going to Dr. Calabro (SalCalabro.com) for her implants. Dr. Calabro was on the line so he told Howard that women are going for much smaller breasts these days. Sal told Howard that he'd give the other girls implants if Howard wanted to give them to them. Gary said that they should do something for them though so Howard had them get naked for them. Howard insisted that Anna doesn't need implants. He had the losing girls kissing Leann who had puked. Howard told all three girls that he doesn't think they need the implants but they didn't seem to care, they're going to get them done anyway.
Jeff got in a plug for his web site JeffTheVomitGuy.com and then Howard took some phone calls from some guys who wanted to tell the guy who gross he was. Jeff doesn't seem to care about what anyone has to say and he kept talking about how he enjoys seeing women throw up. Howard said Jeff will be part of the big Wack Pack Conclave thing they have coming up in the next couple of weeks. Howard wrapped up after that and went to break.
Howard had a bunch of e-mail to go through after that. He said they got a lot of positive feedback about the Blind Beauty Pageant they had on the show yesterday. Some people think that it may have been the lowest point ever for the show though. Some people complained that the girls weren't blind but Howard said they had the girls examined and they were all legally blind or worse. Someone complained about how they don't have as many pictures of hot chicks on Howard's web site as they should. Howard said that it's not a hot chick web site, it's just a daily wrap up of the show and links to news stories. Howard said if people keep complaining, he'll just take it down like he did with the bulletin board. (Start your write in campaigns NOW).
Howard got some mail about Richard Roeper's interview from yesterday and someone speculated that Roeper took Liv Tyler to a movie premiere a few years back and that could have been the woman he was talking about dating during the interview. Another person wrote in and said that Roeper is an admitted homosexual but Howard said that's not true. There were other people who wrote in and complained about the show being too gay yesterday. He didn't understand that though. He doesn't know what was so gay about yesterday's show. Someone wrote in and agreed with Howard's thoughts on Amanda Peet sucking as an actress. There was also someone who told Howard that Kelly Ripa is just as bad about talking about her kids as Kathie Lee Gifford was.
Howard said that he got a complaint from someone who was supposed to get a $30 rebate from SIRIUS but hasn't gotten it yet. Howard said he's going to pass that along to the guys at the company. Howard also said that he's been having a lot of people come up to him on the street asking about SIRIUS stock and when it's going to go up. Howard said that he has to tell people that he has no idea what it's going to do. There were a bunch of e-mails about Ralph calling in on the show too much lately. Some people really hate the guy for some reason.
Howard brought up this news cast that a Cleveland TV station did about this guy who cut a wire when Howard was doing his show out there. The guy ended up getting arrested and now this station has turned it into a piece where they say that Howard ruined the guy's life. Howard didn't ruin the guy's life, the guy broke the law, got caught and ruined his own life. Howard played a promo where they said that this guy was just a ''regular guy doing his job.'' He broke the friggin law, he wasn't just ''doing his job.'' Howard also had a clip of the story they ran that night and it wasn't all that crazy. The guy who cut the wire admits he did wrong and he eventually apologized to Howard for what he'd done. Howard said he got a letter from the guy after this news station ran the report and he said that he didn't bad mouth Howard at all. Howard was wondering why this guy would agree to do a report like this if he wants to continue working in the business. Howard said the guy seems to be doing just fine right now working at the station that's running this wacky report. Howard said that whole thing made him realize how his show makes other stations mental. They cut the wire to his show so they couldn't broadcast because they were so afraid of him taking over the number one spot out there. Howard said it did make for some good radio back then when the guy cut the wire but it just made his show even better. Howard said that if they had just taken that guy and fed him to the audience, the crowd probably would have killed the guy. Howard said he fell in love with Cleveland because he spent most of his time in a strip club out there. He said that he went to the club even though there was a blizzard going on. He claims that they had the hottest strippers out there.
A listener called in and told Howard that he was going to buy a Hyundai for his wife but after what Howard said on the air, he decided not to. He thanked Howard for his help in making his decision. He's now going to buy a Jeep or something like that. Howard took a call from Bong Hit Eric who said he saw Beth on the E! show last night and thought she looked really good. Eric was also asking if Beth wasn't that good looking when she was younger like she claimed. Howard said that she was modeling at the age of 9 so she must have been cute. Eric also asked Howard about his cartoon ''Howard Stern the High School Years'' and how far along that is. Howard said he has 11 episodes written. Eric was all over the place, taking hits off his bong and asking tons of questions. The guys ended up talking about what Artie ate this morning. Artie was saying that he didn't really eat anything this morning but it turns out that he had two Pop-Tarts and a Caramel Macchiata from Starbucks.
Howard tried to find out about how much money Mel Karmazin gave him but Timm wasn't saying. Timm did say that Artie gave him a big wad of cash which was kind of weird. Artie said that you give a guy cash when you give a gift like that. Gary said that giving cash is a very Italian thing to do. Howard said that he and Robin both gave Timm $1,500 each and he wondered if they gave more than anyone else. Timm said that he's pretty sure that they are the highest gifts he got. Howard wondered if Mel Karmazin gave him under $500. Timm wasn't really sure exactly what it was. Timm was happy that he got anything at all and kept saying that everyone was very generous. Fred said he gave Timm $500 and he was wondering if Mel gave him less than that. Howard said that Mel Karmazin is a billionaire and he could afford to give the guy more than $500. Artie said he thinks that he's a dope giving them so much money when a billionaire may not have given them that much. Howard kept saying that he can't believe that Mel wouldn't have given more money than they did. There's another guy, Tom Gesimondo, who is ''quietly rich'' according to the guys and he probably didn't give Timm that much money. Howard told Timm to call in tomorrow after he figures out how much Mel gave him.
Ralph called in and asked if the whole party thing is a big scam just to get money. Howard said it was kind of a shake down but it was also a nice party. Ralph thinks that Timm will be divorced in 5 years anyway. Timm has only known this girl for 7 or 8 months and Howard thought that was pretty insane. Tom said he tried to warn his son about getting married so quick but it didn't work. Howard asked Timm if his father ever had a sex talk with him. Fred did a quick impression of Tom talking about hot dogs and donuts but Timm said it was actually a golf club and a golf cup that he used. Howard said that Tom has some pretty twisted views on sex so that's why he was wondering about the sex talk. The guys spent a couple of minutes on that subject and ended up talking about how Tom doesn't pleasure himself anymore because he's got some pact with God. Howard congratulated Timm on the whole wedding and wished him luck with the marriage.
Howard told Timm that his father missed out on a lot of poon tang because he was married. He seems to think that Timm could have had a lot of girls himself if he didn't get married. Timm said that he's hoping that his wife doesn't change and that they can grow old together. Ralph heard that and said ''Ugh!'' Artie said that Timm is going to grow old and the wife is going to grow annoying. Ralph wanted to start a pool on how long the marriage will last. He was ready to take 5 years as his pick. Howard remembered Gary telling him how cool his wife was when they were getting married. He told Howard that she let him do anything he wants. Gary says that she does let him do whatever he wants... within that 2 acres confine of their house in Connecticut.
Howard asked Timm what the rush was to get married. Timm said that he wasn't sure but it all just came together. Timm said that he met this woman on the road and they were spending a lot of time apart. Howard wished him luck again and let him go a short time after that. Howard also congratulated himself and Robin for giving the most at this kid's wedding. Fred played a Tom Chiusano song parody
Vinnie Favale from CBS called in and said that there's a ''strong buzz'' around her new show and he sent Howard the pilot to check out. The show isn't even on CBS and Vinnie was saying it was supposed to be good. Howard hung up on him a short time after he called. Howard and Artie spent a few more minutes trying to figure out what they had to pay Jenny to appear on that Lingerie Bowl. Artie figured $50,000 at first but Howard was thinking it might be as high as $100,000. Then he knocked that down to about $20,000.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who claims to be a 23 year old virgin and needs help getting laid. Howard told the guy he'd bang him. He was just kidding and told the guy that he'd put him on hold and maybe they'd find something for him to do. Robin thought that he might be a good find and he might fit right in with the wack pack. He did have a bit of a problem speaking. Howard had to take a break right after that.
Howard mentioned that he was kind of quick in bed with Beth last night. He said he told Beth that the sex was great but he didn't hear a response from her. Artie said that he knows that feeling. He also told the guys that he had to use a condom for the first time in a long time because Dana has stopped using birth control pills. Artie said it was a little weird getting used to that sensation again after not using them for a long time. He said he was able to last a long time though so that was good. Howard asked Artie what brand he used. Artie said they were just Trojans or something like that. Howard advised Artie to try the regular Durex condoms because they seem to feel pretty good. Howard also said that he still uses a rubber when he's with a chick even if she's on birth control pills. There's always the chance that she'll forget to take a pill and screw things up. Howard and Artie talked about how quick they can finish themselves off. Howard said he couldn't sleep one night so he went to the bathroom, thought about a chick he remembered and finished himself off in 3 seconds and then went back to bed. He's not proud of that fact but it did help him get to sleep. He had Robin start her news after that. They ended the show around 10:55am.
Howard started off the show talking about an letter he read in the Daily News from a guy who wondered why the reporters call any Star Wars fan waiting in line to see the new movie a ''geek'' while most kids in school who were on the newspaper staff were geeks themselves. Howard thought the guy had a good point.
Howard took a call from a guy who asked Howard how he's going to fight this FCC stuff once he moves over to the new place next year. Howard said he plans to be done with them. He shouldn't have to deal with that stuff anymore. He won't have anyone there with a button censoring his show like he does now with Tom Chiusano and Dead Air Dave. Howard said he can't wait to start the new show because he hasn't been able to do his regular show the way he wants for at least 7 years now. He and the caller spent a couple of minutes talking about that. Howard talked about how it pisses him off that the FCC has ruined radio and Robin said that they're trying to get their hands into everything and ruin all media.
Howard took another phone call from a guy who said he's been listening since he came on in Pittsburgh and he hasn't missed more than 10 shows or so. He asked if he could be a ''surrogate Stern'' for events that Beth goes to but Howard can't go to. Howard played along with it for about 5 seconds before he hung up on the guy. He took another call but ended up talking about how he went for a run with Jim Belushi yesterday and they had a nice talk. Jim apparently asked Howard about his dating after he got divorced. Howard told Jim that he dated for about 6 months and Jim seemed to be surprised at that. Howard told Jim about meeting Beth and how lucky he was to have met her. Howard said he did think about how he could have taken more time to date but things just worked out with Beth. Howard said Jim didn't goof on him about that so he may have been holding back. The caller Howard had on the line was wondering what Howard thought about this new skateboarding movie that's coming out. Howard didn't know much about it but the guys did talk about skateboarding a little bit. Robin said that the movie is about these kids who basically invented the sport as we know it today. She said that the kids used to do this stuff illegally where they'd skateboard in empty pools. Howard and Artie had some fun goofing on that whole thing.
Another phone caller asked Howard how Soupy Sales was an influence on him. Howard told the caller that he knew that he wanted to be in radio at the age of 5 and part of that was due to his father being in the recording industry. He said that Soupy also had a show that he had when he was a kid and he was impressed at the way the guy did his show for young kids and adults alike. Howard said the Three Stooges were also an influence. He mentioned Officer Joe Bolton and how that also influenced him because he thought about doing the same kind of thing they were doing. They were Howard's heroes. He said that MAD Magazine was also something that influenced him because it poked fun at stuff and they did it on his level as a kid. He was talking about a bunch of other people he would see on TV and how much of an influence they were on him. The phone caller asked Howard if he thinks that the deejay on his station, Booker, is ripping off his personality. Howard said that he hasn't heard Booker's radio show in the afternoon so he doesn't know what he's doing.
Howard is still wondering why his company hasn't let him out of his contract yet. He wants to make his move already. He took another phone call from a guy who asked Robin about her TV show and if she's going to have writers on the show because she doesn't really have any original thoughts on Howard's show. Robin played along with the caller and said that she's always a step behind Howard and Artie. She didn't seem to get all that upset about the questioning. Howard took a break after that.
Mariann from Brooklyn called in and said that Beth is going to be on CBS news this morning and she's looking really good. She also got in a plug for Beth's FHM magazine. She was telling people to check Beth out on CBS news and then started to sing so Howard hung up on her. That led to Howard talking about how Beth is doing this interview with Linda Lopez who used to date this guy Chris Booker who is a deejay on his station. He said he used to be friends with her when she was dating Booker but now he's not keeping in touch with her. It's kind of like the John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn relationship. Howard doesn't keep in touch with Rebecca but he does keep in touch with John. Howard asked Gary to turn on the TV so they could watch Beth on the show. It wasn't on yet so Howard took more phone calls.
Howard interrupted that and turned on the TV so he could watch Beth on CBS. Howard listened in as Beth was being interviewed by Linda Lopez. Beth talked about dating Howard and how great things have been with him. They've been together for 5 years now and she sounded really thrilled about that. Howard turned the volume down and talked about something that happened with Linda one time. He ended up carrying her after she stubbed her toe on the beach one time that they were hanging out. Linda thought Howard was a real man for carrying her while Booker didn't even attempt to help her.
Howard played some of Captain Janks' classic prank calls after the Beth interview. He played one where Janks called a show as Bob Hope's ex-writer. Janks eventually says that Bob died while choking on Howard Stern's ball sack. Janks wondered if that ball sack mention made it out over the air this morning (it did). Howard said that things have gotten really bad there and they recently had an issue with the term ''I've got big balls'' and Tom didn't want to let them say that on the air for this upcoming bit they have. Howard said after he found out about that he wanted to get out of there. Artie pointed out that they play AC/DC's song where they sing about having big balls and they don't have a problem with that. Howard thinks that Infinity has broken a bunch of rules in his contract and he'd like to walk away from it. He's not sure why he hasn't.
Fred had more of Captain Janks' calls lined up but Howard didn't want to listen to most of the stuff he had lined up. Janks kept telling Fred that he could die and he wished that he could find some of his best calls to play. Howard and Janks reenacted one call that Fred wasn't able to find. Janks went into his female voice and played Kathie Lee. Janks was still upset about his upcoming operation and accidentally said ''abdominalimin'' instead of ''abdomen.'' The guys goofed on him about that a little bit. Janks was talking about the operation he has to get but Howard and Artie were busting his balls about the type of doctor he might get. Janks was wondering if he could get any money for playing a game or something because he really can't afford the operation. Howard had to take a break and didn't give Janks any money.
Howard asked Gary to talk about some of the stuff he's done lately. Yesterday he went to the CBS Up Fronts which is where the company touts their shows for advertisers. Artie said that some people in the business call it the ''UFs.'' Gary told Howard about what went on over there and how he felt like he was brainwashed after he came out of there. He said they were talking about how they're number 1 in just about every way. There were a few performances that went on during this thing and it was pretty impressive from what Gary was saying. Howard wondered why radio doesn't do this kind of thing. Gary pointed out that they don't have new stuff every year like TV does. Gary said that Les Moonves was talking about how NBC is down in the ratings with most of their hit shows but they just renewed them all. Howard said that Vinnie Favale must have been messing his pants after hearing all of that stuff. Gary said that he was going pretty nuts. Gary also said that Vinnie told him that he was a bit embarrassed about the comments he made about the Jenny McCarthy show yesterday.
Howard said that he watched the first episode of Jenny's new show and she smokes weed with a co-worker on the show and Howard was shocked when he saw that. He said that they portrayed it as being fun and that's never really been done before. Gary got back to his discussion about Les Moonves' speech last night and how even NBC's own shows are goofing on the network. They played a clip from Conan O'Brien's show where he was goofing on their own ratings. Gary also said he ran into Tom, the winner of ''Survivor,'' and he's a huge fan of the show. Gary said Tom would like to be on Howard's show. Gary said he also ran into Ethan from ''Survivor'' and talked to him. Howard talked about them for a minute and talked about some of the other people who showed up. Vinnie Favale called in to get in on that whole thing. Vinnie had to say that Amber from ''Survivor'' is more beautiful than ever. Artie was laughing his ass off because he was wondering what Vinnie was going to compliment first. Rob and Amber were talking to Gary so he asked them if they have plans after their wedding. They do have more plans and they admit that they're milking their popularity.
Gary said that he ran into Henry Winkler who introduced this hot chick to him at the event. She's on a new show that Henry has coming out on CBS. Gary was talking to her thinking about whether or not he'd be able to hook up with this chick but it turned out her fiancee was this guy Jonathan Silverman who is a big fan of the show. Gary said that there's one new show that looks like it could be really good. The show is called ''How I Met Your Mother.'' It stars Alyson Hannigan and the guy who played Doogie Howser. Vinnie said that it's ''the next Friends.''
Vinnie told Howard that the season finale of ''CSI'' is really good tonight. It was directed by Quentin Tarantino and he thinks it was amazing. Howard talked about all of the TV shows he was watching last night. He watched ''Lost'' and recorded ''Smallville'' and ''American Idol.'' He said he was recording all of this stuff while Beth was watching him juggle all of this stuff.
Gary said that they were talking about how ''Everybody Loves Raymond'' is done now but CBS isn't all that upset and they figure that ''Two and a Half Men'' will take over no problem. Gary said he was kept out of a room at the event yesterday because Charlie Sheen was in there and they weren't sure what kind of relationship they had. Howard got pissed when he heard that and said that maybe Charlie should learn to hang out with everyone instead of just whores. Howard remembered the time that they tried to keep him from running into Sharon Stone when she was back stage at Letterman's show. Howard had to walk past the garbage at the place because they didn't want him to see her. Howard got pissed when he found out that it was all because of her. Howard asked Vinnie to tell him who is a bigger talent, him or David Letterman. Vinnie said that they're equal talents in their respective jobs. Gary said that Dave does 44 minutes a night and Howard does 4 hours a day. Howard also said that Dave is number 2 in the ratings against Jay Leno. Vinnie didn't want to answer so Howard let him off the hook and took a commercial break.
Howard had Brian from E! come in because he wanted to talk to him about the interns. He told Brian not to bother with them because he's married and the fun guy they used to know is already gone. Howard also heard that Dan the Song Parody Man was out bragging to the girls. He had the guys bring in the new crop of interns so he could meet them. The first intern to come in was Claudia. She's only 18 years old. Next up was Ashley who is going to Boston University. Kelly said the guys have been pretty respectful to them so far and no one has touched them inappropriately or anything. Gary said he had to throw Cabbie out of the office this morning because he was reading their porn and reading titles out loud. He had to kick him out. Howard said hello to one more intern, Megan, and then wrapped up with the quick interviews.
Gary told Howard that all of the guys from the station will eventually make their way to their offices to check out the interns. Artie said that he realized that some of the girls were born the same year he got his first DUI. Artie said they really did look young to him. Howard said that Artie is one of those guys who always looks old. Artie said that when he was 15 people probably wondered who that old guy was hanging around the school.
Howard said that Gary Garver went out and interviewed this guy Steven Bishop who performed the song ''On and On.'' Artie said he'd rather hear an interview with his own uncle. Howard played the interview and Garver asked him about Paula Abdul having sex with one of the contestants. Bishop stumbled over his answer for a few seconds and couldn't really answer anything about it because he's friends with Paula. Garver asked him when he lost his virginity. Bishop though it was kind of a strange question but he did answer it. He said he was 18. Garver then asked him what part of his body he's most self conscious of. Bishop said he's got wrists that aren't that manly. Garver also asked him about the Pat O'Brien voice mails. Bishop thought that the Dr. Phil interview with Pat was pretty tacky. He had quite a bit to say about that and Howard thought that it was a pretty good interview for a guy who probably hasn't been interviewed since 1988. Garver asked Bishop if he thinks that Gary Dell'Abate has gotten fat. Bishop didn't know who that was but he did say he remembered who he was when Garver called him ''Baba Booey.'' Garver asked him if he drinks ''the protein shake'' but he had no idea what that was. Garver ended the interview after that. Bishop never did get upset with Garver's questions.
Howard took a call from a guy who was bashing Beth a bit. He said she was great in Star Wars as Chewbacca. Then he asked Howard for five hundred bucks. Howard didn't give him any money though, he hung up on him instead. Howard moved on to do some other stuff but Gary hadn't given him what he wanted. Gary came in and had to endure a couple of minutes of ''Baba Booey'' song parodies and some other Baba Booey goofing. Gary said that some people do call him Baba Booey in his regular life. Even his mother has introduced herself as ''Baba Booey's mother'' before.
Howard had some tapes of their wives and girlfriends doing some F***, Marry, Kill games. They also have the Wendy the Retard game and an F***, Marry, Kill game with Mark Harris. Howard went with the Wendy the Retard game first. They asked Wendy to repeat some words and the guys had to guess if she'd answer. Here are the words they asked her to repeat:
Howard was going to take a break but a phone caller wanted to play a game for some money. Howard had a Miss Howard Stern game to play so he said the guy could play. They asked Andrea some questions and the caller had to guess if she would answer correctly. He only had to get one right to win a watch from Steven Singer Jewelers. He got it right when he guessed at this one:
Fred played an old bit they did with Crackhead Bob where they had him asking to send a message through a messaging service. Bob couldn't get his message across very well though and the woman taking the message didn't understand what he was saying. They also played the Crackhead Bob bit where he performed some Van Halen songs. Howard said they were remembering back to the past years since they only have about 6-7 months left on terrestrial radio and they won't be bringing those bits with them to the new place.
Howard said that Ronnie the Limo Driver's limo is back on eBay.com because the deals all fell through on the last auction. Ronnie came in and said that it's ridiculous already and he can't believe that people backed out on the bids. He said the people all disappeared. The people who were bidding were A+ customers over there and they still disappeared after bidding. Ronnie was kind of pissed and ranting a bit so Howard booted him out of the studio.
Howard read an e-mail from a guy who told him about the problems he's had with his Hyundai. He said that he has a car that has a lot of problems but the dealer can't fix them. The writer said ''Hyundai sucks'' and hoped that Howard would talk more about the company so people would stop buying their cars. Another writer said that most banks won't give out loans on Hyundais or Kias because they have such poor resale value.
Howard said he forgot that comedian Craig Gass was there. He asked Robin which voices they should have him do. They went through a list of the celebrities that Gass does impressions of. Al Pacino, Sam Kinison, Adam Sandler and Christopher Walken were some of the names that came up. The Kinison voice is one of their favorites of course. Howard read a few more e-mails before bringing Craig in. He got some feedback about Gary not wearing anything to cover his face when he's in the studio with hot chicks. Gary ended up getting pissed because he's not happy about having to wear something to cover up his face when he's in there. Howard wanted Gary to stop being such a baby and just wear the Birka they got him. Howard said that it's funny to everyone but Gary doesn't find it funny to him. Howard doesn't care about that of course.
A listener called in and said that he saw Eddie Van Halen recently in the New York area and he looked horrible. The caller thought that he was in the area getting cancer treatments but Howard didn't believe it. Howard told the caller that Eddie told him a couple of months ago that he was done with the cancer treatments.
Another caller said that he's a plumber and they were there at the building that Howard works in and they were trying to find where the smell comes from. He said that the smell is not from a broken sewer line in that building but they are trying to pinpoint where that sewer smell is coming from. Howard said that it smells like one big doody over there in their building.
A caller told Howard that Gary's wife does a commercial and she sounds really hot in it. Fred played the commercial so he could listen to it himself. Mary talks about getting eye surgery and how great it worked out for her. That led to the guys talking about how Gary made a chick puke in bed one time because the sex was so rough. Howard talked about Jeff Levy the vomit guy from yesterday's show where Jeff ended up getting puked on by one of the girls that was in. They checked out a picture that's up on Howard's web site where Jeff has vomit on him. They had to take another commercial break before bringing Craig Gass in.
Howard wanted to talk to Craig about a sex story he heard about him from Sal the Stockbroker. Howard wasn't sure if Craig wanted it on the air or not. Howard told the story anyway. He said that Craig picked up a chick at a comedy club and she may not have been the hottest chick but Craig figured he'd do her anyway. Sal came in and said that this girl looked like a ''toothless crack whore.'' Craig said the girl wanted to do some crazy stuff and she was willing to take her clothes off. Craig took her to a back room. Sal said that she had just gotten done eating blue cheese out of Beetlejuice's bad place. Sal said that this guy came up to him looking for Craig. Sal tried to find Craig and eventually figured out that the guy was hooked up with the chick that Craig was hooking up with. Sal had to interrupt them and when they opened the door Sal said the chick was laid out with her legs and arms spread on the chair she was in. Craig said that the woman then wanted him to tell her fiancee that she loved him. Craig seemed to think she was nuts. Sal kept calling Craig ''Greg'' for some reason while he was telling the story and he just couldn't get it straight no matter how many times the guys corrected him.
Craig was at a funeral for a comedian friend of his and ended up telling some stories about his friend and got yanked off the stage by the Minister who was there because he was cursing. He said that the Minister told the crowd that sometimes Satan will disrupt their lives and Craig was Satan. He also told a story about this club owner who was at the service who heard what he did and sent out an e-mail to a bunch of club owners telling them what a scum bag Craig is. Craig had the letter there and read what the guy sent to all of these club owners. Craig used the S-word and the M-F'er word while he was talking about his friend. Craig claims that people were laughing there in the church but some people didn't find it all that amusing. He also said that his parents came up to him and said that the speech was great. Craig said he always knew this guy from the comedy club didn't like him. He was right. Howard told Craig that the letter the guy sent out should be in his bio.
Gary came in and told Howard that Craig never owned a car until just recently and it never seems like he has much money because he's always headlining comedy shows and doing TV commercials and TV shows. Craig said he doesn't even make over $100,000 a year. Robin wondered why they have him on the show if that's the case. Gary said they recently got a call from Billy Mira who wondered the same thing. He was apparently complaining that they have Craig on quite often while they haven't had him on in over a year. Howard said they'll have to have Billy in then. He took another commercial break after that.
Robin mentioned that Richie from E! saw that a theater in the area had all 14 screens showing the new Star Wars movie and every theater was full. Richie came in so Howard asked him if he was going to come to the party they have for Beth's FHM cover. Richie has other things going on so he can't make it. While they were talking about the Star Wars stuff Craig was doing a Yoda impression that was funny. Howard felt bad for Richie after he left because they were giving him a good beating. Gary came in a minute later and asked Richie if they could talk about how he dated this chick that liked weird stuff. Richie said that he dated just one girl who liked to be punched during sex. Richie told Howard that this one girl wanted him to crack her in the head while he was doing her and he couldn't do it. Howard wanted to get the show done so they could get out of there. Richie told them that he'll probably see Star Wars one more time after seeing it twice so far. The guys don't think he'll be able to see it just one more time though. Robin said that after he saw the movie, he had to go out and buy the video game based on the movie. Richie said the game was actually very good.
Robin got back into her news after that and finished up her segment. Zolar called in during the news as a woman who claimed to have slept with Craig. Craig knew that it was him and said that he used to do better female impressions in the past. Zolar said he'd just gotten done smoking and that's why his voice wasn't that good. Craig did a new impression of Tracey Morgan that he hadn't done on the show before. He also did a Tom Arnold impression that Howard liked. Howard didn't like the Tracey Morgan impression because no one knows what that dude sounds like anyway.
Gary came in during the news and said that he just heard some creepy news. He heard that Craig had no where to stay recently so he stayed over at Richard Christy's house and slept in the same futon as Richard. Craig said it was just one night. They both kept their clothes on according to Richard. Craig said that Richard offered to let him stay over at his place. Richard said that they did talk a little bit as they were laying in bed together. Howard heard that Craig also stayed at Benjy's place one time and slept in his bed as well. Artie said that he would never let anyone named ''Craig'' stay at his house. Richard said his futon is pretty small, even for him, so they were pretty close when they were sleeping. Richard said that he remembered pulling the blanket away from Craig at one point. Craig said that Benjy lived in a place where he didn't even have his own bathroom. He had to share it with people on his floor. Both Benjy and Richard have lived in storage buildings at some point in their lives. Richard said he stayed in a place in Florida for 8 years! It was only $275 a month to stay there. He was able to practice his drumming and he created his song parodies while he was living down there. Richard made the mistake of saying that he would get caught wearing thong underwear when he would play drums and stuff. He said it got really hot in the warehouse so he had to wear as little as possible. Artie asked Richard if he was actually living in a metal building in the Florida heat. Richard said that was right and he once tried to add an air conditioning wall unit but it didn't help because it got so hot there. Howard had to cut the guys off so they could end the show. Robin finished up the news and they ended the show around 10:45am.
Howard said that he was pretty tired this morning because he was out late last night at the FHM party for Beth. Artie, Fred and Benjy were also there. The party was pretty crowded according to the guys. Artie said he was able to go to a bar downstairs where it wasn't as crowded. Howard stuck around longer than Artie did. He said he got there around 7:20 and posed for some pictures. The place was packed with hot chicks according to Howard and Artie. Howard said it would have been great if they didn't have to get up early this morning. Pam Anderson was there and Howard had to leave her because it was after 9:00 when he was hanging out with her. Pam's TV show has been picked up for next season so she was out partying. Howard's alarm went off early this morning and he was miserable when he woke up because it was so late. Howard pointed out that everyone came out to support Beth... except Robin. Robin said she had a meeting yesterday and she was also very tired and couldn't make it there.
Howard said there were a bunch of people there from all aspects of their lives. Howard had people from his radio show, TV show and personal life and Beth had people from her SpikeTV show and other friends. Howard's voice was shot this morning because he had to yell so much last night with the loud music playing. He said he wanted to talk to Pam Anderson but the loud music was drowning him out. Howard asked Pam about what's going on with her and Tommy Lee and he could barely hear what she was saying. He said Pam did tell her some stories but he's not sure if he heard it right. He wished he was on satellite radio already because the story sounded pretty wild. Al Rosenberg was at the party so he had to start a conversation with Howard. Fred played some music in the background to make it sound like the party last night. He also had some crowd noise playing so it was just like a loud club. Howard reenacted some of his conversations where he had to yell to talk to people.
Howard said his friend Marco Battaglia was there and he tried to talk to him but his voice was shot. Artie said that they played some really bad music last night at the club. Howard told Artie that they needed to be s-faced drunk and single last night because they could have had some fun there at that party. Howard talked about what he used to do when he was single after his divorce. He always has to leave early though and misses out on the fun at the clubs. Pam Anderson was drinking glass after glass of champagne and Howard knows he could have had some fun with her if he could have stayed at the party. He said that Pam was telling him about the fun she has in hotel rooms with a photographer and some other hot chicks.
Howard said he felt bad for Double A after he called in yesterday so he invited him to the party. Artie said that Double A brought a hot chick to the party. Howard said the freakiest thing last night was Sal's wife because she was way hot. Howard said he told her that she's way too cute for Sal. Sal came in and told Howard that she found Howard to be pretty cute in person. Sal also said that everyone was going up to his wife and asking her why she's with him. He also mentioned that he introduced his wife to Sam Simon who was at the party. That led to Howard talking about how weird Sam is and how he's done with him. He talked about this boxer that Sam backs and how he's invited Ralph to go out to Chicago to see his guy fight out there. Howard said Sam wouldn't shake his hand and he was acting kind of weird. He also heard that Sam went up to Beth and complained about how he didn't want to be there. Howard said that he kind of pissed him off after he heard that. Sal said that Sam is probably upset about the last phone call he made to the show. Sal told Howard that Sam took out a pen and drew a picture of Bart Simpson for his wife. Artie thought that was all funny because he told Sam that he could stop by the show today. Howard said that's fine because he's like to straighten all of this stuff out with him.
Howard heard that Sam buys Ralph plane tickets and stuff and he's almost like his girlfriend at this point. Double A called in and said ''F-Sam Simon'' for some reason. Howard wondered why Sam has to invite Ralph around to these events. Robin said that Ralph will find chicks for Sam and stuff like that. Howard has invited Sam to dinner with them but he's really just done with the guy after last night. He said that Sam is kind of a bummer. He told a story about how he called Sam to get some advice on his cartoon and the guy didn't really have any good advice on who to hire to do some animation. Double A said that he had a great time at the party last night. Gary said that he had to ask Double A to leave everyone alone at the party when he invited him. Howard knew something was up because Double A came up to him, introduced his girl to him and then took off. Double A said he went and had a great time on his own there at the party.
Richard Christy came in and said that he has to start hanging out with Double A because he's always with hot chicks. Howard said that Double A has invited J.D. To come out and hang with him as well because he's always got hot chicks with him. Sal asked Howard if he thinks Double A gets the hot chicks because he has a card with a picture of Howard Stern on it. Double A also has a tattoo of Howard on his arm that he's always showing off. He said it doesn't freak the girls out like some of the guys think. Howard said that they should all get a tattoo that shows that they're from the Stern Show so they could pick up chicks. Double A got off the line after that and thanked Howard for inviting him to the party.
Howard said Beth was getting a lot of compliments last night. He ended up going back to the apartment with Beth and banged her when they got home. Sal wondered if Howard ever does a reminder rap with Beth when he gets pissed at her and says that he made her and he could break her. Howard said that Sal is the angriest guy he's ever met. He's insane for thinking like that. Sal seems to think that all relationships have to be confrontational for some reason. A listener called in and asked Sal why he has to be such a hater. Sal said he wasn't bashing Beth, he was just asking Howard if he ever plays the power card. Gary also told Sal that he was insulting Beth by saying this stuff because it was like he was saying that she's nothing without Howard Stern.
Richard told Howard that he and Sal went to see the new Star Wars yesterday and Sal told him not to tell his wife about going to see the movie because she'd get pissed. She thought that he was working. Sal said he's just sick of hearing it from her when he does stuff like that. She expects him to bring home a paycheck. A woman called in and said that Howard was being hypocritical about Sam Simon because he always complains about parties he goes to. Howard said that Sam was complaining about the party to Beth and it was her party. Howard will either do it man to man or wait until he's on the air to talk about parties that he doesn't enjoy.
Howard said that Beth made him dinner last night and made extra food for Ralph. Howard didn't want Ralph hanging around while he ate and watched ''Smallville'' so he sent Ralph home. Ralph didn't show up to that party last night either. Howard said he's been getting weird with that stuff lately. He may have been sick last night as well. Howard said he really liked the ''Smallville'' season finale. They always make the season premiere and finale really great. The woman on the phone asked Howard if he had seen Britney Spears' new reality TV show. Howard said the show is awful. He said he lasted about 15 minutes watching that show because it was so boring.
Howard said that Sam Simon was there this morning since Artie had invited him. Sam came in and said he hadn't heard the show yet this morning. Howard told Sam that he's an odd guy and a strange man. He explained how he invited Sam to the party last night and he was happy to see him show up there. Howard told Sam how he heard from Beth that Sam was bad mouthing the party last night and she was kind of upset by that. Sam thought that Beth was overreacting to what he was saying. Howard said Sam was also upset that Ralph didn't show up to the party last night. Sam apologized for anything that he may have said to have upset Beth. He thought the party was a little too crowded and may have said something to her about that. Howard told him that he's very insensitive. Sam couldn't believe that Beth was upset by his comments but Howard said she was really bummed out by the what he was saying. Sam asked how he could fix it but Howard told him there's nothing to fix.
Sam said that he probably wouldn't have come out to New York if Ralph hadn't called him. He said that he was very surprised by all of this and now he knows why everyone was asking him if he'd heard the show earlier in the morning. Sam said that Ralph called him and convinced him to come out there because it was only a 2 hour flight from Chicago. Howard wondered what's up between Ralph and Sam. He asked Sam what's going on there and why he needs Ralph there at the party to have fun. Sam said that Ralph never called him to let him know that he wasn't going to the party. That's why he's upset with him.
Howard asked Gary to get Beth on the phone so Sam could apologize to him. He didn't know his own home phone number though. Gary tried to get her on her cell phone while Howard waited. Sam said he actually canceled Ralph's trip out to Chicago after all of this happened. Howard tried to find a number he could call to get Beth on the line. Getting through to his own house is pretty tough because of the way he has his phone system set up though. Gary called Howard's assistant Laura to figure it out.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he thinks Sam is a gay man for complaining about Ralph not being there last night while Pam Anderson was there. Sam said that Howard didn't ask him to sit down and talk to him either so Howard went off on him about that and said that he was surfing the room and couldn't just sit down and talk to him and make the whole party about him. Howard told the caller that there were tons of chicks at the party and Sam could have started in with some of them.
Gary got Beth on the line and Beth apologized to Sam for the party last night. Sam said he was sorry as well. Beth said that she just wanted everyone to be comfortable there at the party. She saw Sam there and ran over to him and asked him when his flight arrived. Sam said that he wished it came in later. Then she asked him about Ralph and Sam said that Ralph ''made'' him come to the party and then he didn't even show up. Beth felt bad for Sam because he flew in and had a bad time. Howard told Beth that Sam is an odd man and no guy should go up to someone who is having a party and tell them that he's miserable. Sam said he had a good time at the party and he did tell Beth how beautiful she was. Beth said that was true and she really feels bad about what went on. Sam said that Beth's party wasn't ruined because of what he said. Howard said that Beth has trouble saying what she's really feeling though. Sam told Howard that Beth is a really nice person and he loves that she's into saving the animals (with the North Shore Animal League). Sam apologized to Beth as she was getting off the line. Howard said he loves Sam. He got in a plug for Sam's boxer, Lamon Brewster, who is going to be boxing on Saturday night on HBO. Howard went to break right after that.
Howard said that there are new rules for this telemarketer call blocking service for cell phones. He got an e-mail about this whole thing. He thought about how they should be talking about this ''Do Not Call List'' with the fans but it turns out the list is a phony and it's actually a call list that will put you on a list that will eventually get you sales calls. Howard read this article he had about the number and didn't understand what they were saying in there. Artie suggested that the fans pick up Jim Florentine's ''Terrorizing Telemarketers'' because he's great at jerking those guys around.
Howard reviewed what they had done on the show already this morning. He talked about the whole Sam Simon thing, the Beth O FHM party and Artie's review of Star Wars. Howard was also talking about the ''Batman Begins'' preview he saw at the end of the ''Smallville'' season finale. Howard thought it looked a little boring and he didn't like that Michael Cain was playing Alfred. Robin mentioned that Morgan Freeman was also in the trailer and Howard doesn't want to see him in the movie either. Howard said the guy was just in that movie ''Unleashed'' playing a blind guy. Robin thought that Liam Nieson looked good in the part he was playing in that preview though. Howard agreed and said that did look like some cool stuff.
Howard said he saw that there were some exclusive pictures of Saddam Hussein in his jail cell in his underwear. Howard thought the guy looked pretty good for a guy in his 60s. The article said that they allow Saddam to have hair dye because he's so vain. Artie admitted that the guy looks like he's in better shape than he is.
Howard asked Jason what's going on with his TV career. He told Jason that there must be a ''Seinfeld Curse'' because everyone from ''Seinfeld'' has a failed show. Jason now has two! Jason told Howard that their show was doing very well at the end of it's season and it was even doing better than ''Everybody Loves Raymond'' did after it's second season and he thought it was going to be coming back next season. Jason thought it did very well in the ratings and CBS made a really dumb decision by canceling the show. Jason had meetings with everyone under Les (Moonves) and noting happened. Howard said he believes that Jason will be back in some way on TV. Howard read that Jason made $13 million for the final season of ''Seinfeld'' but Jason told him that he invested heavily in the stock market and the millions disappeared. He said he's still doing okay but he doesn't have as much money as he did. He said he was going to get out of the market one week but he and his wife decided to stay in just one more. The next week was 9/11/2001 and the millions were gone. Jason said he's not out of the stock market now though. He's still in it. Howard and Artie had some fun goofing around with Jason about all of that. Artie was doing his ''Wah, Wah'' stuff with him on the stock market subject.
Howard asked Jason about his wife and why she never comes in there. Jason was talking about how his wife calls him an idiot for going on Howard's show. Robin asked him if that's why he didn't talk to her on their flight out to Hawaii during the Christmas season last year. Jason swore that he had no idea that he was on a flight with Robin. Robin said she saw him and he seemed to be ignoring her for some reason. Howard talked about Jason's movie career and how he hasn't gotten many offers lately to do anything. Artie mentioned the softball movie that he's doing this summer and asked Jason if he could play second base. Jason said he could do it, he's free. Artie wondered if he would like to play him in the movie. Artie said they could use a guy like Jason because they need guys who look a little ''over the hill.'' Jason sounded interested in doing it.
Howard said that he loved when Britney Spears married this guy named Jason Alexander. Jason said he loved that and he did a bit on the Grammys with Snoop Dogg because of that whole thing. He was supposed to appear with Britney but she canceled about 30 seconds before show time. Howard asked Jason if he's heard from Jerry Seinfeld lately. Jason said they did some press around the whole ''Seinfeld'' DVD thing and that was the last he saw of Jerry. Jason said that he and Julia Louis Dreyfuss are still close but he doesn't hear from Jerry or Michael Richards. He said he's very fond of those two guys but he doesn't talk to either of them much.
Howard took a call from Debbie Schlussel who asked Jason about this group that Jason supports and how they are somehow tied to Al Queda. Debbie said that Jason was on the O'Reilly Factor pushing this group that used it's money to support Palestinian terrorists. Artie goofed on her and did his impression of her talking about how Jason is tied to this terrorist group. Debbie wanted to know why he's involved with this group. Jason was making light of the whole thing while Artie was goofing on Debbie. Jason told Debbie that she is right about him working with ''One Voice'' and explained what this group is actually doing. He said there may be people in the organization who are terrorists and he won't argue that. He said the group is trying to create peace over in Palestine. Debbie was telling Jason that he's part of the terrorism problem if he's supporting this group. The two of them went back and forth a little bit and Jason knew that people were probably turning off their radios because of the conversation. Howard said that Jason believes that these people are trying to bring peace to the middle East. Debbie doesn't look at it that way though and she sounded like she wanted to fight. Howard asked Debbie when she last got laid. Debbie said that it was probably more recently than Jason did. Debbie said that you can read more about this group through her web site DebbieDoesPolitics.com. Jason told Debbie that he's going to back out of supporting this group because of what she was saying. Debbie said that he's an actor and he shouldn't be involved in politics. Jason kept telling her that she's right and he's out. Debbie kept going on and on so Jason kept telling her she was right just to make it stop. Artie was still doing his impression of Debbie and having some fun with her. Howard let Debbie go after asking her what she was wearing. She gave Howard a ''no comment'' when he asked her about that. Howard asked Jason if he could ever get aroused with someone like Debbie. Jason said that he certainly could. Debbie told Jason that he's a great actor and he's a very funny guy but he should stay out of politics. Jason agreed and said he was out. Artie invited Debbie to a baseball game this weekend because he figures she'd be fun to tail gate with.
Jason asked Howard what exactly Debbie does for a living. Debbie said she's a practicing attorney and a columnist. She went on and on about the other jobs she has so Howard had to slow her down because she was starting to go off on Jason again. Jason made the mistake of asking Debbie where they might be able to read her columns. She went on and on and on about where her columns appear and Howard just wanted to get out of the conversation. Howard asked her if she has any clients in her legal practice so Debbie filled them in on that. Artie said that her web site was ''DebbieDoesBoreYou.com'' as Howard was wrapping up with her. Debbie ended up goofing on Jason because his show was canceled but he didn't do anything to insult her, it was all Artie going off on her. Artie sarcastically said that he'd love to take Debbie to a baseball game but then said he was going to make a list of people he'd rather go with, and he'd get back to them in about 4 weeks after finishing the list. He said he'd rather go with Mohammed Atta.
Howard gave Jason another plug for his book ''Dad, Are You The Tooth Fairy?'' and then ended the interview with Jason before going to commercial.
Howard mentioned some of the guests they had coming in soon. Some of those people are Chris Rock, Mario Cantone, George Lopez and Paul Anka. That led to the guys talking about Paul Anka and how Johnny Carson screwed the guy over by taking half the publishing for the Tonight Show Theme song. Howard said that's what he heard anyway and he'll find out more about that from Paul when he comes in.
Howard said that he's into saving Rhinoceros because they're endangered right now. He claimed that he spent some time feeding the animals down in Florida and now he's getting into saving them for some reason. Howard said that it's kind of sad because they're beautiful animals. He said there's a concert being held in New York City to help save the rhinos. Howard said the tickets are available at Ticketmaster and the event is taking place on Tuesday, June 28th in Central Park. The proceeds from the concert are supposed to go to a charity that's trying to save the rhinos.
Howard said that Captain Janks had a new phone call for them. Janks called in yesterday and talked about his upcoming hernia operation but it's not taking place until next Friday. He then played his prank call to the TV show ''At Home Live with Chuck and Jenny.'' He called them and they put him right on the air without screening his phone call. Janks got on and chatted with them for a minute before he asked them if they'd like to bang Howard Stern in a threesome. The guy said he didn't want to do that but the woman didn't answer the question. Of course they hung up on him right after that. Janks had another call where he spoke to a woman who takes homework calls and tries to help people out. Janks played the part of a 5th grader. He asked ''What's the square root of Howard Stern's ass?'' They hung right up on him once again. Janks went on to say that he'll be laying around on a couch after he gets his operation and he'll be making more phone calls then.
Janks played yet another call he made to CNN during some wild fire coverage. He called in as a representative from an airport out there. He gave a report about the delays and then said ''Howard Stern rules you bitch!'' She called Janks a jackass but seemed to be laughing as she said it. Janks asked Howard if he had any games to play today because he needs the money for his operation. Artie said he'd give Janks one of his ''It's the Whiskey Talking'' DVDs
Howard asked Valentina about the note he had about how she was thinking of getting into porn. Howard told her she should go right ahead and do it because she's so hot. She then said she's had a problem with guys she's been with lately. They can't get aroused for her for some reason and she claims that the past 4 out of 5 guys she's been with haven't been able to get it up. Howard told her that he'd give it to her so fast... Richard said that he was already aroused just looking at her. Howard found it hard to believe that guys can't get aroused for her. He asked her if she smells bad or is missing a limb or something. Howard asked Richard what he would do just to touch her breasts. He said he'd be up for anything. They said something that got the delay hit so we missed it. He came up with another idea and that got the delay hit as well. It was something about having Benjy sit on his face... while naked. Benjy didn't want to do that though so the idea was shot right down. Howard thought Benjy would be willing to get naked since he's done it so many other times.
Valentina is only 22 years old and she claims she's only been with about 9 guys in her life. She only had a boyfriend once and that relationship lasted just 7 months. Richard wondered if it's because she's so hot that the guys get freaked out. Doug Goodstein came in and asked Valentina to get into a bikini. She had no problem with that and she was even willing to get naked for them. She whipped out her breasts and showed the guys what she had. Richard told her they were perfect and said that he was almost finished already. Howard also said he was about to explode.
Valentina is up for Pet of the Year so she mentioned you can vote for her at PetOfTheYear.com. She was getting into her bikini but Howard was still trying to come up with something for Richard to do to get to touch Valentina's breasts. He had all kinds of weird ideas for him to do but Howard wasn't all that interested in any of them. He gave Valentina a plug for an appearance she's making at The Romantic Depot in Paramus, NJ. Benjy asked Howard if Richard would be interested in sucking someone's toes. Richard said he'd be willing to do that. Gary said he had a nasty toe infection on his left foot. Benjy said he might have athlete's foot himself but Richard didn't have a problem with it. Benjy also wanted to get to touch Valentina's breasts though. Howard asked Richard if he'd let Sal spit on him if he could touch her ass and feel her breasts at the same time. Valentina was up for any of this. Sal came in and started hocking up his snot so he could spit on Richard. Richard was willing to do just about anything to get to feel her. Valentina didn't want him to grab her ass so Howard cut that out. He told Valentina that Richard would get to hug her after Sal spits on his face. She was ready to do it but Howard had to take a break first. He read that she's a stripper as well so he said he'd like to see that. She dances in Philly at Delilah's and at Lace in Wayne, NJ. Howard told her that she should come to Scores and dance there but she didn't seem interested in doing that. Sal put the microphone up to his ass and farted at Valentina so Howard ended up kicking him out of there.
Howard went through some of the other notes he had about Valentina and talked about how she knows ballet. She demonstrated that a little bit and then Howard read that she pleasures herself every morning. She said she had done it this morning before coming on the show. Valentina said she thought about being handcuffed while she was doing that this morning. They had the delay hit on them a couple of times during that discussion. She said that she uses her hands when she does that so Richard asked her if he could smell her hands. Gary helped Howard out by reading some of the other notes they had on her. They learned that she has been arrested for buying coke and stuff in the past. She doesn't touch that stuff anymore but she will smoke some weed. She said that she has been arrested more than twice. Howard and the guys were really into the stories she was telling about the drug arrests. Valentina has never met her biological father and her mother is a lesbian so the guys went over some of that with her. Gary also read that Valentina loves to shoot guns and she wants to get a gun license but they won't let her get one because of her arrests. Richard and Howard thought that was kind of hot. Howard had to take a break so he gave Valentina a couple of plugs and asked her to stick around. Howard took a call from a guy who claimed to be gay but he was also getting turned on by this chick. Another guy said that any guy who can't perform for this girl should be shot. Howard went to break right after that.
Howard had Richard do his think with Benjy's toes so he could get to feel up Valentina. He sucked on Benjy's toes for a full 20 seconds and moaned while he did it. Richard said that Benjy was pretty rough and his toe nail was pretty sharp. He thought Benjy was getting into it a little too much. Howard had Richard go over to the couch so he could feel her up. Valentina thought it was kind of funny that he did it and Richard thought that she might be kind of impressed that he did it just so he could touch her. Valentina kept her shirt on and Richard felt her up. He told her that she could feel him if she wanted to. The next event was Sal spitting on Richard's face so Richard could get a hug from Valentina while she's topless. Everyone sounded kind of grossed out by what was about to happen. Sal hocked up a goober and swished it around in his mouth before hocking it on Richard's face. Robin let out a few ''OH!'' comments after Sal spit on him. Sal then told Richard he was a loser as he was wiping off the spit. Howard said Richard really deserves what he was about to get. Richard said he couldn't believe what he just did and he's really desperate for any contact with a woman. Howard had Richard go over and get his hug from Valentina. Richard said he knows he's going to regret what he just did. Sal said he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. Valentina went over and took her top off and then gave Richard a hug. Richard said he believes there is a God if there can be something so perfect. They looked like a couple until Valentina started to pull away. Howard had Richard do his Wookie impression for her to turn her on but that didn't seem to work.
Valentina told the guys that her real first name is actually Tristen. She said she wanted to use the name but she couldn't come up with a good last name. Doug Goodstein came in and asked to spray Valentina down with some cooking spray. She agreed and Richard asked if he could hug her after she was sprayed down. She agreed and Richard got another hug. He said it was ''unreal.'' Howard told Valentina that he was going to vote for her to be Penthouse Pet of the Year and he was going to encourage his audience to do the same. He took another break after that.
We later learned that Valentina told Richard that he could come to an appearance she was making in New Hampshire and hang out with her there. In other words, no date for Richard and Valentina.
Howard took a call from a guy who said that Miss Howard Stern looked kind of odd last night on the E! show. Howard said her teeth are a little odd. Howard said that Richard Christy may have messed in his pants during that whole thing. Richard tried to get a date with her and they may be going to see Star Wars tonight. Richard said that he didn't get a number from her though. He said she may be running out of the green room as they're speaking though. Robin said if he scored with that chick, he'd be the envy of everyone there. Richard also admitted that he had an accident in his pants during that whole thing. He also said that she's one of those girls who comes in like once a year and impresses everyone. The phone caller told Richard that he really does come across as creepy when he's talking. Howard asked Richard how Sal spitting on him was. Richard said it was gross but he had to take what he could get to touch that chick. Richard said that Ronnie was asking him how he could do that but Ronnie has a way with the ladies that he just doesn't have. Ronnie came in and said that getting spit on should have gotten Richard a lot more than he got. He wondered why he was doing that stuff. Ronnie thought the spitting thing was worse than sucking Benjy's does. Richard thought the sucking was worse than the spit. Ronnie was yelling at Artie for goofing on him as well.
Howard moved on to Mike Walker who was on the line to play his Gossip Game. He was grossed out by the whole thing as well. Richard said that Benjy still had nail polish on his toes from the contest they had about 2 months ago. Benjy said that he washes his feet every day though. Howard had Mike play the game after that. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
Bobo called in during the news and said that Richard Christy is getting close to being as creepy as Jeff Levy the vomit guy after getting spit on. He also asked if the E! guys could get today's show on TV tonight. Howard said he thinks that show is going to have to be a 7 part series and it'll take a while to get it on TV. After Robin finished up her news Howard ended the show at around 10:40am.
