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Monica continued to complain about AJ and how she didn't even think that this was a ''date''. She thought it was going to be a friendly kind of dinner or something. She said that she's most upset about AJ talking about their date on the air a few weeks ago. Howard and AJ both said that he didn't mention her name so no one would even know who they were talking about. She said all of her friends know that they dated that one time and what he said was negative. All he said was that he went on a date with a woman who brought her baby and it turned out to be pretty good after he got over the fact that the baby was there. That's not so negative.
Monica refused to talk about the father of the baby and she kept repeating the fact that she takes care of her own baby. AJ knows that it's a famous guy but he doesn't have a name. She wouldn't say anything about the father at all. Howard wondered why she had the baby at all. He asked her why she didn't have an abortion and even AJ said that wasn't a nice thing to ask her.
Some phone callers think that she's got a gag order and that's why she won't talk about the father of her baby. She said nothing like that is going on. Other callers think she got pregnant on purpose so she could get famous. She denies that also. We then found out that she was on camera for this interview. She was complaining about AJ talking about her anonymously and then she agrees to be videotaped for the show. That didn't make much sense. She said it wasn't her idea... but she agreed to do it anyway. Howard never did get why she was calling in. She just kept saying that she wanted to talk to AJ about the whole thing and how rude it was for him to talk about her on the air. Even though he never mentioned her name?
Howard turned it over to Larry Michael and introduced the ref, Bobby McRoy. The game started and Marissa took the ball. It was a 15 point game and the winner had to win by 2 points. Artie got the first point and the crowd went nuts when he got it. Artie took another shot and hit it again. Marissa finally got one a short time later. Marissa missed a free throw but got another basket within seconds. Artie got another one which brought it to 3-2. Artie was fouling Marissa according to Robin. Artie hit another shot and got his fourth shot in. Howard bet that he wouldn't even get 4 shots so he lost $1,200. Artie had to take a break a short time later because he was winded and needed a drink of water. The score was 4-3. Artie hit another one a minute later bringing it to 5. Larry Michaels was giving the play by play the whole time. Howard said that Marissa's nose was bleeding at one point. Robin said Artie was playing kind of rough. Marissa fouled Artie at one point. Within a short time it was 9-4 with Artie winning. He was hitting shots from way outside and was making just about every shot. He was dominating the game much to the surprise of Howard. The score was 10-5 and Artie hit another according to Larry. The crowd started cheering Artie's name. Robin wondered where this was coming from because Artie is no athlete. During most of the game they had the song ''Sweet Georgia Brown'' playing like it was a Harlem Globetrotters game. Artie was up to 12-5 and Marissa finally hit another shot. Howard said this was more exciting than a professional game. Robin said it's obvious that Artie doesn't have a problem hitting a woman in the face. He was fouling her a lot during the game. The score was soon 12-8 with Artie winning. Marissa was finally catching up and got it up to 12-9. Robin said Artie was getting tired. The score was soon 13-10. Artie shot another one and got it up to 14-10. One more point and he'd win. Howard said Artie was out of breath but he was still hanging in there. He was missing a few shots here and there. Marissa got it up to 14-12... Then it was 14-13, then 14-14! The winner had to win by 2 points. Marissa went up, took a shot and missed. Artie also missed a shot. The two of them were both missing shots like crazy. Larry said both of them looked tired by this time. Marissa ended up winning 16-14. Artie was upset and didn't give her a hug. Artie played really well so Howard let him know. Artie admitted defeat and wished Marissa luck with the ten grand. Marissa came back from a 12-6 score to beat Artie. Artie said that he still thinks he can beat a WNBA chick. Howard introduced a guy from Bally Total Fitness who presented Marissa with some fitness equipment. Howard spoke to her for a minute and gave Bally a few plugs since they put up the $10,000 for the game. Artie thanked Bally himself since he worked out a bit before this game. He said without them, he would have lost 16-13 instead of 16-14. Howard gave plugs to Larry Michael and Michael Buffer as well. He took a break a short time later.
Howard said things were going ''fairly smoothly'' even though he wasn't able to hang up on the listener who called in. Robin said they'd have everything fixed by Thursday, their last day there.
Benjy was there at the casino so Howard pointed him out. A couple of weeks ago they talked about putting posters of him all over the casino but Benjy wouldn't let them. Joe Cancer was there so Howard spent a short time talking to him. He was supposed to be dead by now so Zolar started yelling at him to die already. Zolar also yelled at Artie about losing. He called him ''Not-so-Manute-Bol'' and ''Fatrick Ewing'' before Howard got back to Joe Cancer. He said he was told he'd be dead soon 15 months ago because his cancer came back. He just won't die. Joe told Howard that someone from his family will contact Howard when he does die.
Howard said Nicole Bass has a whole new look and looks like Jennifer Aniston with balls. Artie said she looks like Jennifer Aniston as a huge guy. John the Stutterer was calmed down so Howard quickly said hello to him. Joey Boots was still there so Howard spoke to him because he thought he was kicked out. Joey said it was Melrose who was kicked out. Yucko the Clown said he wants a piece of John the Stutterer. John said he'll take him on out in the parking lot. Nicole Bass wants to take on Joey Buttofucco so now they have an undercard of John the Stutterer and Yucko.
Howard had his girlfriend in already so he had Robin's Mr. X come in and Artie's girlfriend Dana come in. He spent a few minutes talking to each of them. Mr. X was in a costume to disguise himself. Even Howard's not sure why that is though. He said it was like the mask from the movie ''Scream.''
Double A was also allowed in to stare at Beth. Howard was afraid that Double A would freak her out and scare her but Beth said it was fine if he sat in for the whole game.
After talking to everyone, Howard took a commercial break so they could send the women off to a sound proof booth. When they came back Vinnie Favale from CBS took over as host. He had three questions for the guys. He asked them the questions and then brought the women in to match up their answers. Here are the first three and their answers:
After that Howard took another break so they could send the guys off to the sound proof room while the girls answered their questions. When they came back Vinnie asked the girls their questions:
They replayed the tape of Beth's answer and she started to say ''Oil and vinegar'' but cut herself off saying ''vinaigrette on the side.'' Gary said the audience was against him already and they were calling in to complain. Howard said that it's obvious that vinaigrette is the same as oil and vinegar. They continued to argue for another 5 minutes about the ridiculous question. Howard refused to accept that he was wrong. It was all over the definition of vinaigrette.
Howard offered to give the money to Artie and Dana but they refused to take the winnings also. Howard eventually blamed Vinnie for not getting a definitive answer from her.. but he really did because she made it clear it was ''vinaigrette on the side.''
Robin was actually crying in the middle of the game because it was so sad that they weren't getting any of the questions correct. They blew every one!
Howard continued to argue over the way the game was played. After hearing the playback of Beth's answer, he thought that she said ''oil and vinaigrette'' before saying ''vinaigrette on the side.'' They asked Fred what he thought about the whole thing. Fred said that oil and vinegar and vinaigrette are completely different so Howard lost the game. They also continued to bother Vinnie about why he didn't get a clarification on exactly what her answer was supposed to be. When Howard finally wrapped it up, no one was taking the money. They were still arguing about it right up until 9:20 or so.
After the break Howard said that Robin should have kept quiet during the game because Dana changed one of her answers thanks to her. The question about the physical feature thing threw a wrench into the whole thing because Dana was going to say that Artie's weight was the one feature that he doesn't like. Robin told her to be more specific. If she hadn't done that she may not have said ''stomach'' and would have gotten that one wrong.
Howard took a call from a chef who told Howard that a vinaigrette's definition is ''oil and vinegar mix'' so it's the same thing. He was saying that it should mean that Howard won on that question. Howard figured that it was just the fact that no one could stand that he and Beth won the game. They continued to argue for a couple more minutes about it.
Howard said that his General Manager Tom Chiusano was asked by Mr. X if he should wear the mask or not. Good ol' Tom told Mr. X that he should wear a mask. Howard said he didn't understand why he'd do that because his audience would want to see Mr. X, not a guy in a mask. He said out of everyone he was pissed at Tom the most for telling Mr. X to wear that ridiculous mask. He said you couldn't hear what he was saying. Tom said that's part of Howard's ''schtick'' and he thought it would be funny.
Howard took a few phone calls after the arguments and then let Robin get to her news. Howard was still refusing to take the money from Artie for the game.
Gary said that Scott DePace from E! watched the tape and pointed out that it was Vinnie who helped out Dana with her answer about what part of Artie's body he wouldn't like. Howard also took a call from Jessica Hahn who told Robin that whenever Howard wins something, no one is happy for him or accepts the win. Howard was also still complaining about Tom Chiusano telling Mr. X to wear the mask he was wearing. Howard and Jessica continued to argue with everyone. Jessica kept saying that Howard won and everyone agreed with it but it was still a controversial win because of that one question.
Stuttering John claims that after the show yesterday Robin told him that Howard actually lost the game. Robin said they were just having fun in the green room and joking around.
Dominic Barbara called in at one point to get in on the conversation. Howard let him talk for a short time but changed the subject and told him to talk about his fall into the East River. Howard heard about this story a couple of weeks ago. Dominic told the story but it was lame. He quickly said that he was trying to step on his boat that was at a dock. He slipped and fell into the river. People then yelled ''Free Willy!'' according to some witnesses. Howard said Dominic told the story better the other night. He cut him off and hung up on him.
Howard continued his arguing with Fred for a while. He was also saying that he would have given Artie and Dana credit for a question like he got. He said the game was about how well the couples knew each other, not about exact answers.
Vinnie Favale, who hosted the game, called in to talk about the game for a little while. He said the vibe in the room was really negative toward the end of the game. Fred and Howard were still arguing too. Fred hasn't spoken this much in years. He and Howard went at it for a couple of minutes. Fred was also complaining about Vinnie's hosting and how no one seems to like him as the host. Vinnie told Fred he loves him and didn't seem to understand why Fred was going after him. Howard wrapped up the conversation and said that everyone hates him.
Howard first played the Judy Garland tapes that he's been talking about all week. Vinnie edited down the tapes to just the good parts. Apparently the tapes are from the time when she had lost her CBS show and she was divorced and living in England. Someone suggested that she voice her thoughts on tape so a book could be written about her life. Howard played a bunch of the clips and she just rambles in what sounds like a drunken rage. She complains about not knowing how to use the tape recorder and how it's a ''Nazi machine''. In another clip she wonders why she flies around in airplanes with a ''cast'' of people she couldn't care less about. She said she doesn't want to die with these people who sit around reading ''Readers Digest''. She also complains about her ex-husband Sid Luft and how he doesn't care about anyone except himself. The tapes were hilarious.
For some reason Vinnie thought that there were many similarities between Judy and Howard. Some of his examples included... both were divorced, both had kids, both were in their 40's, both battled CBS over money, both were mentally abused by their parents, both saw psychiatrists, both talk in a microphone, both like their wine, both can't play sports, both lost money in their divorce, both had daughters that wanted to be performers and while Judy hung out with gays, Howard hung out with Ralph.
Howard had to hold off on the lie detector test because Joan Rivers showed up.
Howard asked Artie what he was up to while he was out in L.A. last week. Artie said he was pitching a TV show idea out there. Artie said the show is a sitcom and he thought Howard was more into the reality TV show stuff. Howard said the shows he has in production now aren't reality based so he doesn't know where that came from. Howard told Artie if he dates on his show he should date fat, ugly chicks because fat guys on TV now are all dating hot chicks.
Gary came in and said that an intern they have working on the show didn't tell her mother she was working for the Howard Stern show. Her mom came to visit but didn't know it was the Stern show. When she called home and spoke to her son, he asked her if she met Howard. She said ''Howard who?'' and then found out it was Stern. Her flight was supposed to leave at 7:30 this morning but she was on her way down to possibly take her daughter out of the job. Danita the intern came in and told Howard she never told her mother about it because she's really controlling. She's 22 years old though so Howard told her to tell her mother she wants to make her own decisions. Danita said her mother listens to Rush Limbaugh or NPR in the mornings so she's not a fan of Howard's. Howard told Danita that he'll back her up when her mother gets there. Danita said her mother may make her quit the job and she may end up crying. She told Howard that her mother is a gynecologist so Howard said they're just about in the same line of work. Artie suggested that they play the video of Benjy pleasuring himself to Houston on the monitor when Danita's mother comes in. Howard said he will probably be able to charm Danita's 54 year old mother when she gets there.
Gary said another intern told him that her father encouraged her to go for the internship and said that she could even take a semester off if she needed to. Howard said that's the kind of encouragement Danita needs from her mother.
Howard gave an update on Danita and her mom. He said she was on the phone with her mom for 15 minutes and she was hiding in the bathroom while she was having the discussion.
Tom Chiusano came in and told Artie he hasn't worked there long enough to call him a liar. Artie said he never called him a liar though. Tom said Howard has been there long enough to do that but not Artie. Howard went on to tell Tom that he is not to bother him anymore after the show. He told him that he is to contact his agent from now on and they'll get back to him on that stuff. Tom said he never said it was just going to run a few times. He said they are running it 6 times a week and that's what he said. Artie claims that he was misled about how often the commercial was going to run but Tom said he wasn't. Howard said Tom is the best at bamboozling people on the show.
Crazy Cabbie called in and said that the only way to deal with these people to get paid is to get the money up front. Cabbie said he demands that he gets paid before the commercial even runs. Cabbie also told Tom that Artie never called him a liar. He just said he didn't know the commercial was going to run so often. Howard wrapped up the discussion after a few minutes of arguing.
Howard said he has given his kids the drug talk and they know he's smoked pot and other stuff. He said they don't necessarily want to talk to him about stuff like that. He said he also talks about masturbation and things like that with his kids. Robin wanted to know if his kids have had sex yet. Howard said he doesn't talk about stuff like that about his kids.
Howard mentioned that a kid eventually tells you they hate you and that's the true test of a real man. Gary came in and said that his youngest son did that to him yesterday. He said he didn't know what was upsetting him so much but he tried to ignore it and told the kid he'd talk to him after he calmed down. Howard said he was putting his daughter to bed the other night and she told him she hates him. He said he wouldn't allow her to have a sleep-over and that's why she was pissed. Howard said he ended up talking to her and after a few minutes she forgot about hating him. He said their hatred doesn't last that long.
Artie said he would never even think of saying something like that to his father. He said he used to work with his father and if he had to hold a flashlight for an hour and he had a nasty look on his face, his father would say ''What's your problem?'' and get pissed. He said he never dared say anything like that to his dad.
Stuttering John came in and said his 6 year old asked him about sex and wondered what you're supposed to do. Howard said you just tell them the truth. John wasn't sure that a 6 year old is old enough to understand that stuff though. Howard said you really need a full time psychologist to help out with this stuff.
Howard got back to Danita and said that a friend of Danita's mother was yelling at them downstairs in their building. Howard said he should go down there with a microphone and find out what's going on.
Howard changed subjects again and brought up an article about how Vin Diesel has a crush on Anna Nicole Smith and is trying to get a meeting with her. Howard said he's not so sure that's a true story though.
Howard played a new bit where KC has a few wack pack members debating. This time they were debating which flavor of ice cream is best, chocolate or vanilla. Gary the Retard and Jeff Curro went at each other a little bit about which one was the best. Fran Baskerville the Singing Psychic said chocolate was her favorite.
After taking a break Howard had Danita's mother Monica come in. She and Howard spent quite a while talking about what was going to happen with Danita. Monica ended up laughing and having some fun while she was in the studio. She said that they're not going to make Danita quit the internship. She said she wished Danita would have taken the internship she was offered at CBS News instead of Howard's show though. She actually turned that down for Howard's show. Howard told her she probably should have taken that CBS News job. Howard told Monica that her daughter may be exposed to some nudity while she's working there but it will probably be other women, not men. Monica said she was afraid that her daughter would end up being one of those women. Howard told her they don't get interns naked so she'll be just fine. Artie asked Monica if she'd be interested in letter her daughter undress her for $10,000. She just laughed. Howard told him she's a gynecologist so they'd have to offer her like $50,000. That's when the found out that Monica is out of work. She and her friend told Howard that both of their licenses were revoked by New York State officials for some reason. Monica said she thinks that they're trying to get rid of doctors who are of color and that's why she lost her license. Monica and her friend spent quite a while talking to Howard about their situation. Dominic Barbera called in and knew about their case somehow. He said that one of the women had two patient deaths in her office. She had an explanation for them and said that it wasn't her fault. She and Dominic went back and forth arguing about the details for a little while. Monica managed to shut Dominic up pretty good while she was yelling at him. Howard eventually wrapped up the segment so he could move on to interview Laurie Wallace. Danita is staying for now. Right after Monica left Howard said ''Where's the chick with the lesbian stories?'' That got Artie laughing pretty hard.
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Howard said they have a hot chick there today. He said Nicole Narain coming in later as well as Steve O from ''Jackass.'' They talked about Steve O getting into some trouble recently after stapling his nuts to his leg somewhere that he wasn't supposed to.
Howard and Robin spent some time talking about the Iraq war and what's going on over there. Howard said they had video of Saddam Hussein walking around the streets kissing babies and stuff and the CIA is looking into it to figure out if it's a fake or not. Howard said every time he sees the guy, he has a different look. Sometimes he has big glasses and sometimes he's got none and he's wearing a nice suit. It varies all over the place. Howard said they know he has a lot of body doubles. He said he wished they had that many body doubles of Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson.
Howard brought up this new epidemic of SARS that's going around. Howard said it's in our country now but no one has died yet. They spent a short time on that before Howard brought in Nicole Narain.
Nude model Nicole Narain came in to promote ''Playboy: Shooting Stars - Hip Hop and Rock'' DVD. Howard said she was wearing those really low jeans they call Franke B's. He asked her what she was there to promote. She told him about this Playboy's Hip Hop and Rock thing and explained how Nelly shot some video for the DVD. Artie said a guy like that shouldn't be doing something like that because he can get chicks. Artie told Nicole that he shot some stuff of Lindsey Vuolo not too long ago and he's a guy who can't get hot chicks. Nicole didn't believe that he actually shot Lindsey nude though. He swore he did but she still didn't believe him. Even Howard backed him up and she still didn't believe it.
Howard and Robin asked Nicole about banging guys and stuff. She used to date Colin Farrell so they talked about that for a little while. She said she met him at the Playboy Mansion last July. She said he was really charming and she had no idea that he was banging so many chicks. She said he drinks and smokes a lot and the smoking thing really turns her off. She said even with that he was so charming that she couldn't turn him down.
Howard asked Nicole why she wasn't wearing a skirt like she was the last time she was on the show. She said she hates skirts because she doesn't like her legs. Howard asked her if she has cankles or something like that. She said she just doesn't like them. Howard got back to Colin Farrell for a short time and asked her more about that relationship. Howard said he comes off as a dick in interviews. Nicole said that's true and after going out with him she couldn't believe he was the same guy she'd met. Howard read some notes about them and she claims she was very surprised at the size of his package. Howard read that he had sex with her 4 times before midnight on their first date. Howard also read that he badgered her to do anal but she wouldn't do it. Nicole said she doesn't want to do that and she hasn't done it. Howard said he's not a fan of that either. He said it can get messy and stinky.
Howard read that Colin would beg to have sex with her every morning when they woke up. He also read that he broke it off with her after she told him she loved him. She said his career was taking off and that's what broke it off.
Howard read that Nicole had slept with Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit but she said that's not true. Gary came in and said that he talked to the guy who Nicole did the interview with and he stands behind all of the quotes from this article Howard was reading. She said they're not true though.
Howard told Nicole he could give her anal and she wouldn't even know he was there. He told her how hot she is and gave her another plug for the DVD and an appearance she's making from noon to 2 tomorrow at FYE on 51st and 6th in New York City.
Howard took some phone calls for Nicole and let some guys talk to her. Jeff the Drunk was one of the callers. Howard asked Nicole if she'd like to go out with him but she wasn't having any part of that. Jeff just wanted to know if he could go out to Vegas with Howard later this month. Howard took a couple more phone calls and then wrapped up the interview.
During the commercial break Howard was talking about how hot Nicole was. He said that he was having a private conversation with her and Stuttering John and Gary were standing there trying to hear them. John said he couldn't hear a word he was saying to her though. John said her ass was nice and small and her body was perfect. Howard said he'd give her a 10 on a scale of 10.
Howard asked Goldust about his family life also. He found out that he was divorced one time and has a 9 year old daughter. Goldust said that he hates his ex-wife now. While he was talking about all of that his ticks and grunts were still going off every once in a while. Howard continued to call it Tourrette's and Goldust kept telling him ''It's no Tourrette's.''
Within a few minutes Howard was taking phony calls from Benjy and Fred who were pretending to be people from some Tourrette's groups. Benjy was ''Mark'' and did some grunts of his own. Fred also did something like that a short tim alter. Goldust thought it was Artie doing that but he was sitting right there in the studio. After those calls Goldust had a moment where he yelled out ''GRAND CANYON'' for no reason.
Howard gave Goldust a plug for this Wrestlemania 19 that he's going to be appearing in on March 30th. He said he'll be there for his buddy Booker T. Gary came in at one point and said that there were some strange moments in the past where Goldust seemed to be a little gay on the WWE shows. He said that he seemed to get crushes and stuff on other guys. Goldust said he was just going along with the skits they were doing. Artie did one of his neurological disorder's after hearing that and yelled out ''HOMO, HOMO!''
Someone brought in a picture of Goldust's ex-wife who looked pretty hot according to Howard. He said her boobs were huge. Goldust said he paid for those things himself.
Howard took a couple of real phone calls for Goldust. A woman called in and wondered why he does that bit. She said it's funny but she'd rather see him doing a gay thing. Gary said that Goldust is a wrestling legacy because his father was a wrestler by the name of Dusty Roads. He told Howard that they had a strained relationship and didn't talk for three years. He said that had something to do with the ex-wife so Robin figured his father had slept with his ex-wife. He said he didn't want to talk about it but Howard said he had to get into it. He asked him about that and found out that his father just knew that she was bad for him and he didn't want to believe it.
Robin asked him if his father taught him how to wrestle. He's gotten back together with his father since his divorce. He said he hopes to someday be able to fight for a title. Howard wondered if Goldust's wife got 50 percent of his money even if she was cheating on him. He talked a little bit about that and said that she was with her gynecologist. He said within a month they got married and divorced. Artie continued to do his grunts while Goldust was talking about this stuff. Robin told Artie he had balls to be doing that to this guy. Gary said that Goldust and his ex still see each other because they still work together. He said he doesn't have much to say to her anymore. Howard wondered if he sees her and just yells out ''BITCH, BITCH!'' with his neurological disorder. Robin asked Goldust what his father is doing these days. He said he helps promote some shows and stuff like that. Howard asked him if his father ever beat him as a child. He grunted and groaned a little bit and said his father never beat him.
Howard wrapped up the interview and said that they love listening to the tape of him talking. Gary brought up one last thing and said that he read something he'd said about his daughter and how he didn't want her to go through what he went through as a kid. Goldust said he had a dysfunctional childhood and his mother and father weren't getting along and got a divorce. Howard ended the interview a short time later and took a commercial break.
Howard said they have a ''Piece of ass alert'' and brought in Julie Bowen from the TV show ''Ed.'' Howard said he's never seen the show but he knows that she's hot. He met her at a party with David Spade one night. Howard said they were pretending that they weren't dating at the time. Julie said that they'd just started dating at the time. She said she was very nervous to meet Howard when she was there. She said she was talking to Beth at the party that night and she only came up to her left nipple because she's so tall. Howard said that he had no idea that she dug him. He was amazed. Julie told Howard she as in love with him before he even did ''Private Parts'' Julie said she's only 5'6'' tall so she didn't think that Howard would be interested. Howard asked her why she'd be interested in him. She said that you can't trust a guy who has been good looking since birth. Howard sarcastically thanked her for that. Howard said that's true because he can appreciate women unlike someone like John Stamos who has had everything handed to him. Howard wondered what happened between David Spade and her. She said that David was the one who broke up with her. She said that he had asked her out a bunch of times but she only broke down after his assistant tazer gunned him. She said David grew on her as a person and they had some fun. She said it was a long distance relationship too. She lives in New York and he lives on the West coast. Julie said she's not into the group sex thing and she likes it simple. Howard said he's the same way and he even got jealous when he brought Beth to Scores with him. Julie told Howard that she went to Scores one time and the bouncer asked her ''You want some of that?'' as she was watching one of the dancers. She said that some of the dancers were touching her breasts but she wasn't really getting turned on.
Howard asked Julie how David Spade was in bed. She apparently thinks that his penis is bigger than most people think. Howard was surprised by that and asked her some questions about that. Robin also asked her how David broke up with her. She said it was an ongoing thing and it happened over time.
Howard said he'd bang Julie but he'd be done in 3 seconds if he did. Gary asked him if he gets better over time. Howard said he really doesn't. They asked Howard how he keeps Beth happy and he said he is able to give it to her pretty good. He had a big smile on his face as he said that.
Howard gave Julie a plug for ''Ed'' and said that she's going to play ''Win Fred's Money'' today. She graduated from Brown University so she's pretty smart according to Howard. She said she probably got in the low 1400's on her SATs. Howard said he barely broke 1000... if even that. Julie thought her score was pretty average though.
Howard couldn't get off the David Spade thing. He kept asking her questions about how he got involved with her. She said that he called her a lot and it was kind of creepy. Gary asked her how long it's been since she had sex. She said it's been a couple of months and it was with David. She said that they broke up around Christmas time and that's about the time they did it. She said she really cared for him deeply.
Howard asked Julie about her claim that President Clinton grabbed her ass. She said she wasn't sure she could say he grabbed her ass. Howard had her standing at a microphone so asked her if she wanted to sit. She said she was fine up there but Artie said he couldn't see her legs. Howard had her step out so he could see her legs. Julie told Howard she can't believe the stuff Joan Rivers was saying about him needing botox injections. Julie told him he doesn't need anything at all. Fred played love songs in the back as she was saying that. Howard and Julie ended up goofing on Joan and her excessive plastic surgery for a few seconds. Julie said Joan was funny yesterday though.
Howard took some phone calls for Julie before getting to ''Win Fred's Money.'' A caller asked her if she shaves and how her feet look. She said that she shaves most of her hair but not all of it. Julie said that Howard inspired her to keep herself groomed down there. Howard ended up asking her if David Spade is blonde down below. She said that he is a natural blonde. Howard told Julie that if she were his woman, he'd have her shave completely. Howard also asked her if her boobs sag. She said they're actually very perky.
Julie got back to her President Clinton ass grab story. She said that his arm dropped behind her back when they took a picture together. She said he didn't grab her ass though. Howard said that guy is a real ''perv.''
Howard took a call from a guy who brought up this movie Julie did years ago. She was in a scene where she was in bed and he saw an accidental crotch shot. He was a boom operator on the movie so he had a good view.
Gary said she had one more interesting story. She was at a party somewhere messing around with a guy when she was in college. She said the guy's girlfriend walked in while they were making out and the guy stood up so quick that he cut himself on his zipper flinging blood everywhere. She said she had to run after the girlfriend to apologize with the guy's blood all over her.
Howard got to the Win Fred's Money thing. In Win Fred's Money, a contestant has 60 seconds to answer 7 questions. Fred goes off to a sound proof booth where he listens to music. When the contestant is done, Fred comes out and tries to answer the same questions. Howard said Julie will not be giving her winnings away to a charity if she wins. Howard told her that he wants her to go out and buy something herself. Here are the questions and answers for this game:
Howard moved on and said that Stuttering John asked why Anna is even doing this TV show because she's rich. That's not quite true though because right now she's broke. She has won some lawsuits that will get her some money that she's owed but that takes time. She said she needed money to get her by right now so she took this offer to do the reality TV show.
Howard brought up how Anna acts and talks like she's high all the time but she swears she's not. She says it's just her Texas slang accent that makes her seem that way. She said once she saw the show herself even she thought she looked stoned.
Howard said that Anna admits in the show that she hasn't had sex in 2 years so she pleasures herself on the show. Howard started to talk about the 90 year old guy she was banging before he died. HKS told Howard not to talk about that but Howard said there's nothing wrong with that. Howard continued to ask her about it and whether or not the guy was able to satisfy her in every way. She said he wasn't able to do that but she made him very happy.
Howard spoke to HKS about how he's making a living since he's always hanging around Anna. HKS said that he is getting some money from E! for the show since he's featured on it a bit. He said it's not much though. He will get some money from the lawsuit settlement when that comes in but right now he's not getting much.
Howard talked to Anna about her eating and how she doesn't try to hide it on the show. He seems impressed with that for some reason. Howard also talked to her about how she sleeps until noon or so. He asked her about what a typical day is like for her too. She says sometimes she just sits around and reads and the cameras stay on her the whole time.
Howard brought up how Anna has gained a lot of weight lately too. He told her how beautiful she is and wondered if she was trying to sabotage her modeling career by gaining weight. She said that she'd gotten depressed during the litigation and put on a few extra pounds. She said that now that she has the TV show she's going to diet and lose that weight.
Howard asked Anna about her son and whether or not they'll show his friends coming over to hang out. She said that probably won't happen.
Gary came in and said that when he saw Anna on other shows he didn't see HKS sitting next to her. HKS said that Anna needs to be protected from Howard Stern. He quoted Sarah Michelle Gellar who said that she was just glad to get out of the studio alive. Howard said that's a bunch of bull though and she doesn't need to be protected from him.
Howard asked Anna if she's been with any guys since her 90 year old husband died. She said she was with one guy but that relationship didn't work out. She said she thinks the guy just didn't think he could satisfy her needs. Howard read that she sometimes demands sex 10 times a day. Robin and Howard said that no man can meet those needs but Anna thinks there is someone who can.
Howard took some phone calls and started to wrap things up with Anna. Howard was digging for some more stories when he found out that Anna goes to a Psychiatrist and they do video tape that stuff. She wouldn't say whether or not that will show up on the show or not. She said we'll have to watch the show to find out.
Gary had brought up some stories he'd read about Anna and her assistant who she really likes. Gary read that she buys her assistant all kinds of stuff and even paid off her Jeep as a birthday gift one time.
Howard took a few more phone calls and she was getting a few offers from guys who wanted to sleep with her. Howard told Anna that he's fascinated with her and wanted to know what she watches on TV. She said her favorite shows are ''The Simpsons'' and ''King of the Hill.'' HKS also reminded her that she has to watch Jerry Springer. She said she has to watch that show every night. Howard wished Anna luck and said that he really does think this show is going to be huge... That's when Benjy asked Anna the big question. Earlier in the show Anna said that she'd probably jump on any guy who is into her and asked her for sex. Benjy asked Anna if she'd let him perform oral sex on her and she said yes! Benjy said he thinks that she's one of the sexiest women they've ever had on the show and he wanted to do her. She agreed and the two of them headed into Howard's private bathroom! They didn't take a microphone in there so no one was sure what was going on. KC tried to get a microphone in there but Benjy had the door locked. After a few minutes the two of them came out and Anna's hair was all messed up. Benjy had lipstick on his face so it was obvious that they'd made out. Benjy told Howard that they did kiss a little but Anna told him she was on her period and she didn't want to do the oral thing. Benjy would have done it but he said she was nervous and didn't like the fact that they were in a bathroom. Anna said she found Benjy cute and was willing to go out with him later. She had to fly back to L.A. Today but she said he could go with her if he wanted to. Benjy said if he could just spend an hour with her it would be the greatest hour of his life.
Doug from E! came in and said that Benjy was just invited to Anna's hotel suite and the limo was downstairs waiting. The guys all told him to get the hell out of there and get to the limo.
Robin Radzinski from E! came in and said that the Anna Nicole and Benjy stuff will air on Howard's E! show tonight at 11pm. Comedian Nick DiPaolo showed up to hang out during Robin's news segment but they ended up talking more about Benjy...
Howard had to interrupt the tape because Benjy called in from Anna's hotel room. He said he was there with her and her dog. There were also a bunch of camera guys there and some of her friends. He said he thought he'd have a better chance with her if some of them were out of there. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to him and to Anna about what was going on. They both seem to be into each other and it sounds like something might actually happen. Anna said that Benjy is really cute and has nice eyes. Howard then said that he now believes that she really was in love with her former husband. If she can find Benjy attractive he believes that she could find a 90 year old guy attractive.
Howard got off the phone with them and got back to the tape they had from Anna's microphone. You hear Benjy whispering to her and trying to come on to her but you also hear the toilet water running constantly in the background. Gary said that was the greatest part of the tape. Robin wasn't able to get past the water running either so she found it pretty entertaining. The tape was just a few short minutes so when Howard was done with it he had Robin do her news since it was getting so late in the show.
Howard read a memo he got from the Hard Rock Hotel Casino asking him what he would like in his room to make it special for him. Howard said he was thinking of not staying there when they go out to Vegas because so many fans are there when he's there. Then they started asking him what they could do for him. Howard said it would be cool to have a pool table in the room but he probably wouldn't play. Howard asked Artie what would be cool in there. Artie thought the pool table would be cool but then Howard said Artie would come up and sit there saying nothing if they did that. Artie didn't know what he was talking about. He sadi he hung out with Howard playing Blackjack for 4 hours one day they were out in Vegas. He said he'd love to hang out with Howard out there. Howard asked him if he's bringing his girlfriend. Artie sadi seh'll be there. Howard figured Artie would be acting differently this time since he's been dating her so long now. Artie said he's still going to be drinking and gambling though.
Howard said Robert Duvall (Bobby D) was there so he wanted to read some notes on him before he came in. He quickly went through them. Gary came in and sadi that Duvall isn't a big fan of Michael Moore. He said Howard might want to ask him about that later. Howard said Duvall is one of the greatest living actors. He had a top five list of the greatest actors. That list included:
Duvall said he hung out wiht Howard one time at a pool and Howard was asking him if some chick was looking at him. Duvall said Howard was covering up when she was looking at him and stuff. Duvall brought up Howard's daughters and said he was going to try and get his oldest daughter. Robin said Howard could have Bobby D as a son-in-law. Howard was sighing in pain when he heard that. Howard ended up asking Duvall about the chicks he's banging these days. He talked about his young girlfriend for a short time.
Howard got back to the best actor ever list. Marlon Brando's name came up and Duvall said he's one of the best. Howard quickly moved on to ask Duvall about the war and what he thought of Michael Moore's speech at the Academy Awards. Duvall called him a jerk but didn't go off on him too long. Howard and Robert talked about the war a little bit. Duvall asked Howard about his young girlfriend. Howard turned it around and asked Duvall about his hot chick. He and Duvall also talked about the time they hung out together. Howard thanked Duvall for pretending to like him and let him hang out there. That led to them talking about this movie ''Assassination Tango'' that's coming out soon. Duvall is in the movie and loves the Tango dance.
Earlier in the morning Artie was preparing to do his Tourrettes stuff for Bobby D. He started asking Duvall some questions and started to do the grunts and stuff. Duvall thought he was Stuttering John or something. Artie asked him a few questions like that before Howard moved on to take some phone calls.
Howard took a call from a woman who wondered how Farrah Fawcett was to work with. Duvall didn't have anything bad to say about her. Howard took another call from a woman who told Duvall he's the best actor ever. A guy called in and said he couldn't believe he was talking to his two favorite guys, Howard and Robert Duvall. The guy said that he owns the Cape Cod radio station that Howard is on. He also said that he was bunk mates with Duvall in the army. He had some stories about him that weren't quite true. Howard ended up hanging up on the guy. A guy called in and said his mother used to date Duvall. He mentioned his mother's name and Duvall seemed to recognize her name.
Howard thanked Duvall for coming in and gave him another plug for his movie. He wrote and directed it so he spent a minute talking about that. Duvall kept bringing up Howard's daughters and how he's going to date them. Howard and Duvall talked about a couple of other things like ''Godfather 3'' and how he wasn't in it. Duvall said he saw number 3 and didn't laugh at it like Howard figured he would. Duvall said he thinks they're working on number 4 now too. ARtie was still throwing in an outburst here and there at this point. Howard and Duvall talked about a few more actors they like. Howard asked Duvall if he's seen his movie yet. Duvall said he's only seen clips so far. Howard wondered why he hasn't watched it yet. He didn't have a reason so Howard said he'd send him a copy if he'd agree to watch it. He said he'd do that for him. Howard told him he can come in anytime he wants to. Duvall ended up making a comment about how funny Howard would look flopping around on top of a girl. Robin asked him how old he is because he looks like he's in good shape. Duvall said he's 72 now. Gary came in a few seconds later and said Duvall had to go because he has a lot of other interviews lined up this morning. Howard then took a break and let Duvall go.