Howard started off the show with some new porn audio clips that haven't been heard on the show before. Howard said he thinks that the chick in the clip was moving a couch. He then said that they have psychic James Van Praagh coming in. They also have a new Evaluators with Yucko the Clown, Triumph the Insult dog and rapper Trick Daddy.
Robin told Howard that she's lucky to be there today because her plane almost crashed yesterday when she was coming home. She said she was about to take off when the plane made a horrible noise. The plane didn't go up once it took off. It was kind of stuck off the ground and not really up in the air. She said the pilot kept trying to get it to accelerate but the noise just got worse and it didn't go up anymore. She said everyone was silent as this was going on. The plane went up and down a few times and they were barely above the water. The pilot got on and said that they'd hit a bird as they were taking off and that's what the noise was. That took out an engine. Robin said she got off the plane and took a train home instead.
Howard said he was in a helicopter on Saturday and it was raining and windy so he wasn't having much fun flying around either. Robin said that everyone just wanted to get off the plane once it landed again. She said that the train took about 4 hours to get back to New York. Artie told her she could have driven there in 3 and a half hours. Howard said that must have been one night when he was in a coke haze or something.
Ronnie took the new limo to Scores over the weekend and had it on display. He said the people liked the truck when they saw it and it wasn't as big as they expected it to be. Robin said it's like Ronnie is campaigning with the limo trying to get approval for it from someone. A phone caller was talking to Howard about the upcoming election and said that he didn't register to vote in time. Howard talked about how if Bush is re-elected, he's going to be able to appoint 3 Supreme Court justices and that's not going to be good for this country.
Howard was talking about how Benjy went out and did some interviews at the Friars Club and got himself into trouble once again. Gary said that Benjy just doesn't know when to stop. He ended up getting pushed around by security. Tom Chiusano came in and told Howard about Benjy telling a weird joke in the elevator on Friday when he got in and rode down with him. He was talking about touching himself in front of a couple of women. Benjy said that Tom had said something that led him to say that and it wasn't very detailed.
A listener called in and went off on Howard and the guys about their Yankees and called Robin ''Super Negro'' after calling Howard a ''hook nose.'' The caller said that they all hate the New Yorkers wherever he was from. That led to Robin saying that there aren't a lot of black people that go to the Boston baseball games. Robin said they saw two others there but that was about it.
Howard complained about his stomach hurting for the past 3 days because of nerves. That got Robin talking about how she had to have some drinks on the train after her brush with death over the weekend. She ended up drinking seven little bottles of Bailey's. Howard then talked about his night out to dinner with his parents. He talked about that for about 30 seconds. Artie asked Howard if he told anyone he was going to the Donald Trump roast because Regis said something about Howard when he was introducing him. Howard didn't tell anyone that he was going so someone else must have told Regis that he was going to be there.
Howard said that Benjy went to the roast and would just start talking to people and as he was talking to them, he'd start stroking their face and try to kiss them. He said that it might be the funniest Benjy bit that he's ever done. Howard said that Benjy was talking to artist Leroy Neiman and as he was stroking his face he just stood there and kept talking. The bit was very visual but Howard was going to play some clips from it anyway. He said the reactions he got were very strange. Benjy was pissed that comedian Jeffry Ross went with the bit and ended up kissing him.
A caller from Toronto asked Artie when he's going to go up there to make an appearance. He said he'd try to get up there but Howard ended up talking about how he wants to go on the road as a motivational speaker. He said he's been reading about how much money people make doing that and it's quite a bit of money. Artie told him it's just like doing stand up because you can just keep doing the same speech over and over again at different places. The caller asked Howard to replay the ''Dear Rodney'' tribute song to Rodney Dangerfield because it cracks him up. Howard and Robin thought it was kind of strange that the song cracked him up but played the song as they went to break.
Howard said that psychic James Van Praagh would be there in about 20 minutes. He finds it funny that guys like that come on his show because they don't buy into their psychic abilities at all. They've told this guy before that they don't buy it but the guy keeps coming back.
There was an article in the National Enquirer about how depressed Rodney Dangerfield was toward the end of his life and they got that story from Howard's show. Howard said they did credit him for it at least. That led to Robin bringing up Rodney's wife who was much younger than him and she was very beautiful. Robin said that she thinks that the woman really was in love with the guy even though he was that much older. People are saying that she is the reason he wanted to live for the past couple of years. She's the one who made the decision to take Rodney off of life support though so Howard told Robin that she's not to let anyone take him off of life support if he's ever on it. Howard said he doesn't want any young, hot chick making that decision for him.
Howard said he's in a bunch of magazines for something he can't talk about (Sirius), but the pictures are all very bad and his hair looks horrible. There was one in the National Enquirer that wasn't all that bad but he thought his hair looked kind of weird. He doesn't think that he's that goofy looking in person. Howard talked about the recent talk about President Bush possibly having something under his jacket at one of the debates. One of the local papers took some pictures of other guys with suit jackets on and they all looked like they had something under them even though they didn't.
Garver asked Flynt who he supports for President and some other questions about President Bush. Flynt was asked about same sex marriage and he said he agrees with Bush on that subject. Garver asked Flynt what his favorite illegal drug was. Flynt said ''Heroin.'' Howard had Fred doing an impression of Flynt that he'd never done before. Howard thought the guests they had at this Jesse Jackson birthday party were kind of strange. Howard saw that he had his father on the line so he went to that after playing the Garver interviews.
Howard said his mother was going to move to the front of the limo but she had to crawl in. Ronnie started to go off on Howard once again as he did almost every day last week. Robin is on Howard's side in all of this so she was trying to explain to Ronnie what the problem is. Ronnie wondered why Howard only takes negative calls about all of this stuff. He said that he should call Beth about it because she said something about liking it. Howard told him that she's afraid of him and doesn't want to say anything to him about the limo. Ronnie claims that Beth loves the limo and doesn't want him to get rid of it. Ben had to get going to the gym so he got off the phone.
Ronnie told Howard to just give this limo a shot. He wants to make some improvements to it but Howard wants a completely different car. Robin thought they had all of this straightened out last week but it obviously wasn't settled. Dakota from Scores called in and asked about the contest they held down in Ft. Lauderdale. She thought the contest was rigged so Artie and Ronnie had to defend themselves saying that the final vote came from the audience. Ronnie thought she was calling in about the limo but she never said anything about that. Another caller said he would love to have seen Howard's father getting into the limo. Another guy said that Ronnie should have been fired 2 weeks ago when all of this stuff happened.
Howard took a call from a guy who wanted to hear the Wendy the Retard voice mail tapes from when she was going nuts after the last hurricane. Howard didn't have time to do that since he had James Van Praagh coming in. He quickly played Garver's interview with Shari Lansing who had a lot of nice things to say about him. She worked with him on ''Private Parts'' and really likes him as a person off the air. Gary came in and told Howard she didn't know who Garver was and said even nicer things later on when she did a retake on that interview. He played that one since it was more honest.
James said that he's not a psychic, he's a medium. There are differences and he believes that everyone is born with some type of intuition. Some are stronger than others. Howard tried to move on to more personal stuff with James. He said that Robin believes that he's gay. James said that he doesn't talk about that stuff but did talk about his marriage and how that didn't work out. Howard wanted to know who James is dating but he didn't want to talk about that stuff. He did say that he is into women though. Robin almost had Howard convinced that he was gay.
Howard gave James a plug for his upcoming movie called ''The Dead Will Tell'' which airs this coming Sunday at 9pm. James told Howard that it's based on something he went through with a woman. Anne Heche plays a part in the movie and Howard read that she was a pain in the ass to work with. James told Howard that it was the first day he met her that turned him off to her. He said that it was very hot when they were filming one day and she yelled for her hair dresser to come and hold her hair up during breaks between scenes. He also said that she didn't really talk to him the whole time they were filming.
Howard took some phone calls for James and Zolar called in doing his female voice saying that he was James' ex-wife. He quickly broke into his deep voice saying that James always wanted to have a strap-on used on him. A real woman called in after that and asked James to contact her dead brother. James said he wouldn't do that on the air so Howard had to jump in and try to do the psychic thing with her. James said that he will only do it through his web site VanPraagh.com. Mariann from Brooklyn called in a short time later but James was goofing on her doing an impression of her.
Gary came in and asked James about a recent visit he had from Abraham Lincoln. James said he had a couple of beers that night. He was about to fall asleep when someone came in his room. The guy claimed to be Lincoln and he was with something called ''new order.'' He asked Lincoln to prove it to him. Lincoln said that he would prove it to him the next day. The next day he got a fax from someone helping him to write something and there was a mention of Lincoln in the fax. Another friend said that a friend of his bought him a picture of Lincoln freeing the slaves. Then James dropped his wallet and a $5 bill fell out. He also went to a restaurant and there was a picture of Lincoln staring at him. Howard said something about him leaving a Lincoln log in the toilet last night and then wrapped up with James. He gave him a plug for his web site.
Howard almost forgot to mention Artie's father. He wanted James to try and contact him but he said he would only do it privately. Artie said he'd take it very seriously. James said ''I wouldn't!'' and refused to do it. James brought up a psychic that Howard had on the show a while back trying to find Chandra Levy's body. James said that he might be able to help find the body but there is a right place and a right time to do that and it wasn't on his show. Howard went to commercial after that.
Howard still had the Benjy tapes to play from the Donald Trump roast but he also had to get to The Evaluators. He read an e-mail from a 21 year old girl who finds herself very attracted to High Pitch for some reason. She said she's not really hot but she's better looking than Wendy the Retard. She even sent along her cell phone number to pass along to Erik. Another e-mailer told Howard about something that she saw on Montel Williams and how graphic it was. She wanted Howard to post a transcript so they can file complaints against it with the FCC. There was another question about the use of the T-word on the air. TV shows can use it but Howard can't. Howard said that they are allowed to say ''titty bar'' but that's it. They can't use the word in any other way.
Howard said they have a new feature coming soon to the web site. They're going to have the ability to post a picture almost immediately after taking it so the fans can check it out while the segment is still going on. He read through a few more e-mails after that. Some people were complaining about Howard talking negatively about other people when he's an ugly guy himself. Howard said that he shouldn't be discriminated against just because he's ugly. He should be allowed to comment on other people's looks if he wants to. Someone asked Howard not to bring Chaunce Hayden with him if he ever moves to another medium (He's still not talking about Sirius).
Howard was about to get to the tapes of Benjy at the Trump roast but Artie took a sip from his straw and it distracted him for a minute. He eventually got back to the Benjy stuff and said that it will make for a classic E! show because it's so funny to watch. Benjy touches people's faces as he's talking to them about stuff. Howard said you have to picture Benjy moving in closer and closer as he's talking to these people. He rubs their faces and tries to go in for a kiss. He played the first clip and the guy freaks out when Benjy moves in too close. Howard told Robin that you really have to see it to get the full effect. He played another one where he interviews Mike Wallace and starts going ''Oh god yes, yes...'' but no one knew what was going on. Howard played another interview where the person being interviewed just wasn't reacting at all to Benjy stroking his face. Howard wanted Robin to see video of Benjy with artist Leroy Neiman. He thought that she would laugh hysterically but she missed some of the audio and it wasn't all that funny. She said it was kind of interesting looking from what she saw. Leroy didn't seem to mind what he was doing at all.
Howard bailed on the Benjy stuff since it was all visual stuff that they'll just have to play on the E! show. While they were trying to get the audio for the E! video earlier, Fred happened upon some echo that they don't usually use on the show. Howard and the guys ended up playing with that for a short time before taking a commercial break.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who told Trick Daddy that he should be able to vote down in Florida even if he is a felon. He had been talking about how he can't vote down there earlier and thought he couldn't vote. Howard gave Trick Daddy a plug for his new album ''Thug Matrimony: Married to the Streets'' which comes out on October 26th. There was a little more talk about Trick Daddy's tough life and how his brother was killed. Now he helps take care of some of the other kids in his family. He talked about how his time in prison and how he was the ''weed man'' back then. He'd have his women bring in the weed for him. He said that they'd call it ''Budah Brown'' because of where it was kept when it was brought in.
Triumph and Yucko got in some plugs for their stuff after that. Triumph has a DVD called ''Late Night with Conan O'Brien - The Best of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog'' and Yucko has a new DVD coming out soon. You can find out more about Yucko's DVD at DamnShow.com.
Howard brought in the woman who came in to be evaluated today. Her name was Violetta and she rates herself an 8 on a scale of 10. She claims she's been told she could be a Victoria's Secret model and she's wondering if she could be in Playboy. She claims that her boyfriend used to beat her up a bit. Trick Daddy was talking about how women end up getting their faces slapped. He said if they talk back to him he'll slap their mouth. He has to be careful down in Broward County where he lives because they don't put up with that crap down there. He said if he lived somewhere else, he might slap his woman around more.
Violetta told Howard that she lost 14 pounds since last year and her breasts have gotten smaller since them. Howard said it's a good thing that she lost the 14 pounds though. He had the guys look over her and then give their scores. Triumph said that her boobs were kind of droopy and they were kind of old-school but he gave her an 8 on a scale of 10. Yucko was up next and asked her to lose her top. He and Trick Daddy wanted her to take her top off so Violetta took it off. Howard thought they looked perfect. Yucko said she had some moles on her face and that she might be able to get into Playboy if she wore more makeup... or went to Al Queda and got her head chopped off. Trick Daddy told her that she was cute and she could probably get in there. She's 25 years old so Trick Daddy wondered what she's been waiting for and why she didn't get in there earlier. Howard ended up giving Violetta a $500 prize for coming in and taking her top off for them. Howard gave everyone plugs for their stuff before wrapping up the segment. The guys were wondering if Triumph is going to go with Conan O'Brien when he makes the move to The Tonight Show in 5 years. Triumph isn't sure if he'll be going with him or not, it depends on how his career is going. Howard spent a couple more minutes with everyone and then wrapped up the segment. Triumph ended the segment while he was banging an Ernie from Sesame Street doll.
Wendy the Retard called in quickly and wanted to sing a song for Howard. He told her to do it quickly so she sang Karaoke to ''You Sexy Thing'' for him. Howard was wondering if Wendy is still able to have children. He had to wait until she was done singing to ask her the question though. Wendy was answering every question with a ''yes'' so it wasn't clear if she really is capable of having babies. Howard said if she does get pregnant, he wants to make a movie about the whole thing and follow the kid around until he's like 7 years old when he'll be smarter than Wendy. Wendy told Howard she'd be willing to take a test against a 7 year old. Howard asked her ''What's 2 times 3?'' to which Wendy answered ''Four.''
Triumph stuck around during the news and commented on some of the stories but Howard thought it was kind of weird that a dog was commenting on politics and stuff. By the end of the news Triumph had sex with other puppets like a Teletubbie and Lester from Willie Tyler and Lester and even a Hank Williams Jr. puppet. They ended the show around 10:50 this morning.
Howard started off the show with some porn movie audio clips including one where a woman gets spit on and calls herself a dirty, spit covered little pig. He also had his ''Great American Nightmare'' theme song playing but he said it gets annoying sometimes. That led to him talking about how annoying Gary was this morning too. Gary came over before the show to put a CD in the CD player and he said ''Ewww'' when he caught a whiff of Howard's eggs. Howard told him to just go away because he didn't ask him to come near him to begin with. Gary said the key is to not interact with Howard at all in the morning. Howard said he never bothers Gary about what he's eating so Gary said he'd never bother to come over to his office. He also said that Howard complains about other people's food in the studio so he's not the only guilty one. Howard said that he's stuck in that studio so he has the right to do that. Gary said he has to be in there as well so he should be able to complain. Howard doesn't want Gary coming in the studio until he's done with his breakfast from now on. Gary warned him that he might not get some stuff that he might need before the show. He kicked him out of the studio a few seconds later. He said it's hard enough to eat in the studio sometimes and that doesn't help. Howard said that Gary has to comment on everything because he's so chatty. He thought about having Gary come in there to eat every morning so they can comment on his food.
Howard changed subjects and said that the Daily News used a horrible picture of him again. He complained about the way photographers can get him as he's exiting the building and get horrible angles of him. The article was about how big his ratings have been and weren't able to put a bad spin on the story so they used a bad picture of him instead. He usually gets the articles about how his show is going downhill but his ratings have been great lately. He's looking forward to going out on that high if he was to go somewhere else.
Robin said that she has caught a whiff off a guy and knows what he's talking about. Artie said he wants to just go give every woman who's had sex with him a big hug for what they had to put themselves through. Howard thinks he looks alright for Beth but he just didn't smell good last night. He said he ended up doing some Bukkake with Beth instead. Howard is afraid that he's Jumped the Shark with Beth now that she's caught a whiff. He and Artie said that once you catch a whiff from a woman, you're done so it could be the same for women. That was the first thing that hit him this morning. Then he opened the Daily News and saw the awful looking picture of himself in there. It had something to do with the angle that made him look like a monster.
Howard asked Artie what happened with the Yankee game last night. It was a 6 hour long game and the Yankees ended up losing to the Red Sox after extra innings. Artie said he's going to the game tonight and he has it all planned out. He's going to go get some food on his way there and then hang out with his uncle. Howard said it's kind of cool that the Yankees aren't winning every game and Artie agreed with him about that. The game means something when they're not crushing the other team. Gary came back in and told Howard about Artie's drinking habits at the game and how he will end up getting a ton of Jack and waters while he's there. Howard wondered if he has to pee a bunch of times when he's drinking that much. Artie said he really only has to go about once a game.
A caller told Howard he thinks that Howard is tired of banging Beth. Howard wondered why he would think that but he had no reason. The guy said that he thinks Howard needs to get some other chicks but Howard cut him off and hung up on him. Howard said that guys are always thinking about banging other chicks but it just doesn't happen if you find someone you really like.
Howard said that Shaun Bagwell will be in to talk about how she's lost her $10 million that she got from her ex-husband because her new baby's daddy won't pay child support. He said that should be a good story. They also have Jenny McCarthy's sister Amy coming in to talk about her layout in Playboy. He had to take a break after that.
Howard said that Benjy made it to Celebrity Justice after going to the Donald Trump roast the other day. Benjy ends up getting kicked out of the event and complaining about his tooth hurting as he's getting dragged out. Celebrity Justice covered the story so Howard played a clip where Benjy was complaining about his tooth hurting. Artie told Howard that Liz Smith wrote up the roast and said that he may have ''potentially'' been one of the funniest guys at the roast.
Howard had some clips of Benjy trying to interview some people. He tried to get an interview with Donald Trump and when he walked away Benjy pretended to cry and scream out for him. Artie said that Uncle Paulie was at the event as well so Artie heard Benjy screaming at one end and Uncle Paulie at the other. Uncle Paulie grabbed Mike Wallace and asked him some questions. Paulie asked him why he talks like he's dead and Mike had no answer for him. Benjy tried to kiss Mike Wallace but Mike pushed him away and Benjy thought that he was pretty strong for a guy his age. Uncle Paulie asked Trump some questions but Trump wasn't understanding a word he said. He was asked about his ''wig'' but Trump said that it's his real hair, not a wig. Meanwhile, Benjy is at the other end of the line screaming and crying about Donald blowing him off. Artie was told that they had to kick Benjy out after that. Benjy continued to scream out after they took his microphone away from him. Howard thought it was kind of unfunny but Robin thought it was pretty funny. It was just grating and annoying to Howard though. They picked Benjy up and dragged him out of there after the screaming. Doug Goodstein from E! told the guys that Benjy was done but he didn't really know that.
Benjy fell down at one point and screamed that he wanted to go to the hospital. That's when he complained about his tooth hurting and then told the guys that the injury was from 10 years ago but it still hurt. Benjy made sure that they showed he didn't have any black eyes before they dragged him away. Benjy was also blaming other people for putting him up to doing all of that stuff.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who said that Benjy comes off like a jerk off in those tapes but Howard defended him saying that when you see it, it's really funny. Howard then played a clip of Vinnie Pastore freaking out when Benjy tried to lean in and kiss him at the same event. Benjy tried to do that to everyone he interviewed. He also played another Uncle Paulie interview with Sally Jesse Raphael. He asked her a couple of questions before he chased her away. People thought that he was a nice looking older man but as soon as he started questioning them, they'd run away.
Wendy the Retard left a message for Howard and said that she wasn't feeling too good because she was starting her period. Howard played that clip and said it sounded pretty disgusting to him. Robin said that's one thing that they could have skipped over with retarded people. We don't need to hear about Wendy the Retard's period.
A phone caller told Howard that the Benjy stuff wasn't all that funny. Howard said that he can't hit a home run every time and he has done some funny stuff in the past. The guys talked about some of those funny things. Howard talked to Artie about the Yankee game tonight. He won't be able to watch it himself because it'll be on so friggin late. The game doesn't start until 8:30 or so and he has to be in bed around that time. Howard said he pulled out his tapes of ''The Surreal Life'' and watched some of those the other night. He said his favorite is that Ryan Starr who is really wacky on that show. He said she's like a retard on there and thinks that she's the most famous person on there. Meanwhile, no one even knows who she is.
Howard took a call from a guy in Ohio who said that they were running Bush commercials on his station out there. Howard thought that was kind of interesting and that it's probably a good idea for Bush to do stuff like that. That led to them talking about how bad things are looking for regular broadcast radio right now. He said that if this indecency bill passes, he's going to have to spend the rest of his contract just playing music or something. He can't afford to get fined $500,000 personally for ''indecent'' broadcasts.
Howard read an article about how Al Franken's show is starting to catch up to Rush Limbaugh's in the New York area. He said that he hasn't beaten him but he's not far behind him. They're 15th and 18th in the ratings for 18 to 54 year olds. Howard said he thought that Limbaugh was successful but he must have been mistaken. Howard had to take another break shortly after that.
Howard took another call from a guy who wasn't making much sense at first. He was kind of rambling about stuff so Howard was about to hang up on him. Then the guy said that he was coming out of the closet and wanted to do it on the air. Howard tried to talk to him about that but ended up getting bored with it. The caller talked about how he has just started getting into the gay stuff lately. He has had gay sex and he finds Brad Pitt to be very attractive. The guy said that he got bored with women and had to move on to guys. He likes transsexuals for some reason so Howard said that's because he's trying not to admit that he's into guys so he gets guys who look like women. Howard talked to him for a few minutes but eventually said he didn't care and hung up on him.
During that call Fred started to play some of the High Pitch Erik audio clips they've been playing lately. They also played a song parody about New Jersey Governor McGreevey and some other High Pitch bits. They played his call to a Japanese restaurant where he keeps yelling out ''Oh Yeah'' while he's placing his order. They played the original and the High Pitch remake of the spit porn audio clip. Fred also threw in Club Soda Kenny's ''I hear ya!'' clip that hasn't been played in a long time.
Howard took another phone call from a guy who asked Howard about the war in Iraq. Howard talked about that and how George W. is running this country based on faith which is ridiculous. He ended up hanging up on the guy because he was acting kind of dopey. Howard and Robin talked about the troops who have to go over there to Iraq and how bad they feel for them. Howard was also talking about how everyone in the broadcast industry is going to feel the wrath of Bush's administration when they all start getting fined for indecent broadcasts.
Howard played a new ''Tom Chiusano Show'' bit where Tom goes looking for his golf balls under his neighbor's house. They used a porn clip in the bit where a woman ends up doing stuff to a guy after he spies on her. The Tom Chiusano voice is a computer generated voice since that's what Tom sounds like to Howard.
A caller told Howard about this guy down in Philadelphia who always takes jabs at him in the newspapers there. He didn't want to say the guy's name but Howard knew that it was Stu Bykofski. They spent a minute on that and then the caller changed subjects to the new guy they have in mind for an upcoming Superman movie. Howard had to hang up on the guy but he spent a couple more minutes talking about this guy they have in mind to play Superman. He took a break a short time later so they could get to Shaune Bagwell.
Howard thought that Shaune had lost all of her $10 million but Shaune said she was just playing along with them and she never really got that much money. She said that she did manage to go through a lot of the money that she got in the divorce but it wasn't $10 million. She then told Howard about how she dated a guy that got her pregnant and now he won't pay child support. The guy apparently told a friend of his that he thought he'd met the woman he wanted to marry but then he'd tell her that she was dead weight and she bored him. Howard said that's the way guys are. When they want to have sex they love the women but then as soon as they're done, they roll over and say they hate them. Shaune said that she ended up getting a tattoo after that so she'd feel sexier. Howard told her they'd do some stuff to her if she wanted there in the studio. He wanted to throw her in the tickle chair and tickle her.
Howard wondered if Shaune was willing to bring other women into bed. She said she's too straight for that and she wouldn't be interested in that. Howard asked her if she's good in bed. She told him that she loves sex and she does think that she's good. Howard thought that maybe she's a little uptight or something but she doesn't seem to feel that way. Shaune said that she will be fine with or without the father of her baby. She will be able to make a living either way.
Gary asked her if she's broke or not. Shaune said she has a house in Houston but now she's got an equity loan out on that house and she's living off of that. Gary said she was staying in a really nice hotel in Manhattan though so he wonders how she can afford that. Shaune said that she has an American Express card that has 2.1 million reward points on it so she gets to stay at places like that free of charge.
Howard gave Shaune a plug for her web site ShauneBagwell.com and talked to her about her modeling career. She said she's getting back into it now so she can try to make a living. Howard told her that she's still looking really hot so that shouldn't be a problem. Howard wondered if she's banging anyone right now so Shaune said something about having a bad taste in her mouth from her other relationship so Howard made a joke about her giving oral or something and that's why she had the bad taste in her mouth.
Howard wanted to play a game with Shaune where she would ask a question. If the guys got it right, they'd get to squeeze anything on Shaune they wanted to. If they missed it, she'd get $500. Artie suggested that she get to squeeze something on them if she got the trivia questions right. Shaune agreed to play the game for money. She had her own questions for the guys. She asked a question about a band that had a song on the Scream 3 soundtrack album. No one was sure what she was talking about and Gary told her that it had to be something that people would know. Howard ended up asking Shaune when she last had sex. She said it was back in August when the father of her baby was telling her that he wanted to have more kids with her. Then the next day he was telling her that he was bored with her. Shaune asked another question about the Goo Goo Dolls and where they got their name from. Gary sounded like he had an answer but never came up with it. He said something about them getting drunk one night and coming up with the name but Shaune didn't think that was close enough. Fred kind of had the answer but she didn't give it to him either.
Howard started the game over again because things weren't working out. He wanted her to move on to the sports category but she couldn't come up with a question. She had some science questions so she asked where mad cow disease comes from and if it was viral, bacterial or fungal. She also gave them none of the above. Gary got the answer right with None of the Above so he got to squeeze her boob. He copped a feel and said they felt pretty real. Shaune asked a question about DNA that Howard didn't have an answer for. He had her ask another question, this time it was sports. She asked a question about Aaron Boon's wife. Artie knew that she was a Playboy model but didn't have her name. Howard gave Shaune the $500 and said he really wanted to squeeze those things.
Shaune asked Howard if he wanted to play a truth or dare game. Howard dared her to get into the tickle chair and let him tickle her. Gary had to explain the rules to Howard because he didn't know how it was supposed to be played. Shaune agreed to get into the chair after Howard dared her to do it. She was already in a bikini-like outfit so she didn't have to change after Howard asked her to. She didn't want to take the chaps off that she was wearing. Howard let her keep them on as the guys strapped her into the tickle chair. Howard told her he was going to tickle her for a full minute and she could plug anything she wanted to during that time. Gary said she's so skinny that they had to strap the arm straps down to the last notch on the belt. She managed to slip out a minute later. Shaune said that she wouldn't fight Howard when he tickled her but he figured she would. The guys taped her in instead. Gary was wearing his beekeeper's mask so Shaune wondered what that was about. Gary tried to explain it to her but Artie had a quicker answer. He said ''Next to you, he doesn't look human.'' That's why he's forced to wear the mask.
Howard walked over to Shaune and told her to stop talking. He got ready to tickle her. Gary said he had water ready for her in case she's thirsty. Howard jumped in and started to tickle her. She was ready to rip her hands out of the duct tape they used to strap her in. She was laughing as Howard tickled her. She tried to get him to stop but Artie ran over and tickled her feet which were really ticklish. She was screaming out like she was in pain for a few seconds but the minute was up a few seconds later. Howard thanked Shaune for playing along and gave her an additional $500 for doing that.
Captain Janks called in and asked Shaune if she ever dated Kevin Bacon. She said she doesn't know him and never dated him. Janks also had a trivia question for her from a Trivial Pursuit game. He asked the question but Shaune didn't know the answer. Artie knew it so he gave the answer instead. Shaune said that she did sit next to Kevin Bacon at a basketball game one time and that's where the rumor may have gotten started. Howard wrapped up the interview a short time after that.
Actress Leah Remini was on the phone and Howard said that he heard that she may have gained some weight after having her baby so she might be trying to avoid them by not coming in. Leah told Howard that she wasn't avoiding them but she has gotten fat. She said she isn't like she used to be but it's only been 4 months since she had it. Howard told her that was a shame. Howard said that when you see a woman like that, you hate to see them ruin their bodies. He was talking about how hot she looks on that show ''King of Queens.'' He said that there's no way a chick like that would date a guy like Kevin James in real life. Howard said that when she'd come on the show he would think about how he'd love to just slam her. Now he's wondering if she's got a ''gunt'' where the loose skin is on the belly. He also wondered if her boobs are saggy. She said they've always been saggy but he didn't want to believe that. She's not even breast feeding. Howard said that it's supposed to help make the kid smarter so she might be keeping that from the kid.
Howard said he heard that Leah is best friends with Marc Anthony's ex-wife that he left to be with Jennifer Lopez. She said she wasn't very close with them but she did know them. Gary said that the last time she was on, she said that she hung out with them at dinner the night before. She said they went to Karaoke, not dinner. Howard tried to find out some more details from her but she wasn't talking. That's when Robin said that she should know about stuff like that because Leah broke up a marriage. Leah said that wasn't true but Robin said her husband was with another woman at the time they met. Leah said the story was boring and there really wasn't anything to it. Her husband has 3 kids with his previous wife so it is kind of like the Marc Anthony story. Leah said she gets along just great with the other kids but Howard didn't believe her. She swore that they are great kids and she gets along with them. Howard told her to bring them in the next time she's on.
''King of Queens'' starts it's seventh season this week so that's why Leah was calling in. Howard gave her a plug for that and spent a couple more minutes talking to her. Leah was really annoyed with Robin by this point so Artie wanted to start with her and tried to get into some Scientology discussions. She wasn't too happy that Artie was starting with her today either. She was annoyed with everyone. Artie then got into the fight they had last time she was on. Artie was in the movie ''Old School'' but Leah didn't believe him at the time. Today Artie said that she was in the movie even less than he was. They argued about that for a few seconds before Mariann from Brooklyn called in and started yelling about Leah stealing her husband from another woman. She went off on her about that. Howard said that the woman isn't the only one to make decisions like that and it's the guy who has to leave his wife.
Chaunce Hayden called in and asked Leah if she had the guest room ready for him because he's going to be out in L.A. next week. Howard didn't seem to care and hung up on him after he said he found a personal letter from her where she talked about how great an interviewer he was. High Pitch Erik called in and Kelly Clarkson so Howard had some fun messing around with him for a few seconds. Howard then wished Leah luck with her new season of ''King of Queens'' that starts tomorrow night on CBS. Leah wasn't having a good phone call. She thought that Robin had buried her in the beginning and she wasn't happy she got up so early to do the interview. The guys continued to talk about her not breast feeding but she didn't want to talk about why she can't breast feed. She said it's boring and she doesn't want to get into it. Howard thought he had it figured out. He said she probably got cracked nipples and gave up on it. Gary said she kind of said it when she hinted that it was bad timing which means it's because of work. Howard said that his movie-wife Mary McCormack just had a baby and she's breast feeding even though she's on a TV show. Leah said she didn't want to talk about this stuff because she doesn't want to get phone calls and letters from people. She doesn't think that she's a role model like Howard was saying she was. Howard said that maybe she adopted the kid. Leah told him he was an idiot for saying that. Howard told her he's not an idiot, he's an ass. She agreed with that.
Howard said there's a great special on VH1 about Leah getting ready for her wedding. She also said there's one about her baby so Howard said that must be great as well. He told the guys that Leah's husband doesn't look like the kind of guy Leah would marry. He thought she was into other types of guys. This guy looks like a ''South American Dictator'' to him and that's not what he expected. Leah didn't get what he was talking about because the guy is gorgeous to her. Howard said that doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing. Artie said that he met the guy and he looked Italian to him. Leah said that he's actually Puerto Rican. Artie was surprised to hear that.
Leah told Howard she doesn't want people passing judgement on her about her breast feeding. Artie said that if she doesn't want letters, then she shouldn't have done a whole special on VH1. Howard took a call from a guy who told Howard he was being a little rough on Leah. Leah said that there are just some women out there who shouldn't breast feed because they can pass along toxins and stuff. Howard figured she was on drugs or something but she said that wasn't the case either. She still refused to talk about the reasons for not breast feeding. Leah was still upset with Robin and didn't want to talk to her at all. Howard tried to give her another plug but she said she didn't even want that from him. Howard told her they were just joking around with her and let her go a short time later.
Howard told Amy that her breasts look much more natural than her sister's. She said that they're silicone and she's had a bunch of problems with them rupturing. She had saline in before and they ruptured twice. She decided to get the silicone after that. Amy hasn't had any kids so her body still looked good to Howard. He told her to never had any kids. Howard said that he heard that when a woman has a baby there's a biological thing that happens in nature that makes the woman ''hit the wall'' so guys won't be attracted to them anymore.
Amy talked about her Playboy shoot and how she's appearing on Playboy.com as one of the Cyber girls. Howard thought the pictures he was looking at were from the magazine so he didn't even know it was just online. Howard ended up asking Amy if he could feel her breasts like he did with her sister. She didn't want to go there though.
This guy showed up at the station today saying that he'd do anything to meet her. He wrote a letter to Howard about wanting to meet her so he read that and talked about how creepy it was. Gary came in and said that the guy ended up driving 1,400 miles from Alabama just to meet her. The letter he wrote really was kind of creepy. He was talking about the color of her skin and stuff like that in a way that came across as just weird. The letter was pretty long and rambling. Howard already had the guy in a bikini so he was going to let him come in and they'd throw stuff at him before they let him meet Amy. His name was Ty and he was dressed in a yellow bikini. The guy was black which was a surprise to Howard. Gary said that's what he was keeping secret from Howard earlier in the morning. Howard told him that his letter was creepy but Ty thought it was the way he read it. Ty also talked about his porn collection and some of the other odd things that were mentioned in his letter. The guys asked him if he has a wife or anything like that. He said he just recently got ''disengaged'' from a woman so he doesn't have anyone right now. He builds computers for a living so he has plenty of hard drive space for saving the porn stuff.
Howard said that he felt kind of bad about throwing stuff at this guy but Gary and Artie didn't think that was a problem. Howard had the guys get up and start throwing some stuff at Ty. Artie and Benjy got up and started throwing the food they had in the studio. Gary said that Amy was ready to throw some stuff as well so they brought her out of her hiding place and gave her a cupcake to throw at him. Howard gave him a break a few seconds later and let him sit down. He talked to Ty some more about Amy and let him talk to her. Ty wished her luck with her career and said he hopes that she gets to see the fan site he created for her. He said that he has 17 pictures of her on the site.
A black guy called in and told Ty that he set their race back 50 years because he drove 1400 miles to meet a white woman. Howard said that Ty turned out to be a nicer guy than he expected. He thought he was going to be even creepier than he was. Howard wrapped up the interview a short time later. He gave Ty a $500 prize for coming in. He went to commercial a short time later.
Howard asked Leah if he was right or wrong about his theory about her breast feeding. She told him he was wrong and that was it. He continued to talk to her about the TV shows that she's done and how that invites people into her personal life so he doesn't know what she's talking about with that nonsense. Robin was still breaking her balls over the Scientology stuff. She said that it might be time to spend some time at the Clay Table. Leah didn't sound to happy that Robin was commenting on this stuff at all. Leah isn't used to having people involved in her personal life and that's what she's talking about with all of this. She was obsessing over a phone call that Howard took earlier where someone called her a home wrecker. She gets upset with that stuff. Howard joked around with her and said that she probably broke up an already troubled marriage.
A woman called in and said that Leah may not be breast feeding because maybe she was sexually abused. She was just taking a guess but Leah wasn't going to go there either. Howard let Leah go a short time later. He still seems to believe that it's got something to do with Scientology though. Robin started her news right after that.
Ronnie didn't get out of his daily limo bashing either. During the news Robin read a story about how Cadillac Escalades are the most stolen vehicles right now and that's what Howard's new limo is. Howard joked that he was attacked by pirates last night on his way home because the limo is so huge. They wrapped up the show around 10:50am.
Howard started off the show talking about the Yankees losing last night and how a team has never gone from a 3-1 lead to a 3-3 tie. Artie was at the game last night so he told the guys about what he did to prepare for the game. He and his uncle went and got some food at an Italian restaurant called Pasquale Rigalettos before going to the game. They had some drinks and a full meal before heading over to the game. Gary heard how much they ate and drank and wondered how they could go to the game after that. Artie said he got more agita from the game than he did eating all of the food he ate. He was sitting behind third base and called the Red Sox names the whole time. He was calling guys homos and stuff like that through the game. Gary has seen him do that stuff first hand and he yells at those guys non-stop but he's close enough that the guys can hear him.
Last night there were so many problems that they had to bring the riot police in according to Artie. He said there was one guy yelling out for the Yankees pitcher to hit a guy in the f'n head. Howard remembered the days going to see some Yankees games with his father and how the smell of whisky on guy's breath always scared the crap out of him. He figures Artie is one of those guys that scares kids now. Artie went on to talk about what caused the riot police to be called in last night. There was a play where A-Rod punched a ball out of the mitt of a Red Sox player. That led to a the umps huddling to figure out if it was a legal play. When they ruled it illegal, 40,000 people just threw everything and anything they had in their hands down on the field. Artie said that there was a rain of objects just crashing down while the crowd was yelling ''A-hole'' and other things. Artie said that the Umps were taking major abuse from everyone including himself. He apologized for anything he may have said to the Umps last night. Then they had to have another huddle while they talked about where Jeter was supposed to go and the crowd started throwing more stuff on the field. That was after they had the grounds crew go out and pick the stuff up. Those guys also got booed as they were picking the stuff up. Then the announcer asked everyone to show some class but even more stuff was thrown on the field. The Umps called cops over to protect them and that led to a 15 minute delay while they got the riot police in place. He said there were about 100 guys that came out from the ''bowels of Yankee stadium'' to try and control things. They got in place and kneeled down around the perimeter of the field. Artie said he really wasn't intimidated by them because they were in bad shape. Some of them looked like they were in the same shape as him and some looked like crackheads.
Tom Chiusano came in and said that the call was the second bad call the Umps made that pissed off the crowd. There was a hit that was ruled a double after a ball bounced off a girl in the stands. The umps didn't see the bounce off of the girl in the stands. Gary said that all of the pressure is on the Yankees for the final game of the playoffs. The Red Sox could finally end ''the curse'' if they win the game. Artie talked a little more about his time at the game. He almost had to pee in the sink of the bathroom because the line was so long there. Then he waited on line for a half hour for some Dippin Dots. He loves those things. He also waited in line to buy a hat that he was calling a ''goupoline'' but no one knew what he was talking about. They'd never heard the had called a goupoline. Gary wondered if he's going to go to tonight's game as well. Artie said he can't because he didn't get home until 2:30 this morning. He may have still been drunk when he got to work. Howard wondered what he ate when he got home at 3 in the morning. Artie said he didn't eat anything because he was too depressed after the Yanks lost.
Howard watched ''The Biggest Loser'' last night and loved it. He's got it set up to record on his TiVo for the whole season. He said that it's these really fat people who have to lose weight. There are two teams and whichever team loses the most weight doesn't have to vote anyone off. They tease them with food and stuff and it's pretty funny according to Howard. Artie said he was offered a shot at doing a weight loss reality show but he turned it down. Robin said she heard about that show and it's got celebrities who want to lose weight and the only celebrity she saw was Daniel Baldwin. Artie said that their buddy Joey G from The Sopranos might be part of that show. That led to the guys talking about Las Vegas since Joey G was there. Howard wasn't sure if they were going to be going to Vegas again next year but Tom Chiusano told him they probably will be going back.
Robin said that she might have to file a lawsuit against the station because Tom came up behind her yesterday and put his arms around her. Then he started to nuzzle her. She was standing there talking to Mike Gange and Doug Goodstein about her horrifying plane incident when he did that and the guys wondered what Tom was doing. Tom said he wasn't going to go any further than he did though. Howard had to take a commercial break a short time after that.
Robin told Howard that she enjoyed the movie ''Team America'' after seeing it the other day. Artie saw it over the weekend and liked it as well. Howard took a call from a woman who said she's afraid that if Artie keeps eating the way he's eating, he's going to turn into John Candy. Artie doesn't think that will happen to him though. He did tell a story about eating something at his Uncle's house before they went to the restaurant. His uncle made him a salami and provolone sandwich before they went and ate a ton of food at the restaurant. It helped him make it there. Howard said they tell you to eat something before you go out to eat so you don't eat ravenously. Howard said that they should remake that Dom Deluise movie ''Fatso'' after hearing the way he eats. The woman on the phone was wondering how many times Artie has to flush the toilet after eating so much food. Artie told her not to do her comedy material like that. Mariann from Brooklyn called in and told Artie how great his description of the game was earlier in the morning.
Howard said that Artie told him a funny story about going to a Phillies game. They used to have a judge there at the stadium to yell at people who got too drunk at the stadium. Artie said that they did a report on the news and the first guy who got up in front of the judge was wearing one of these goupoline hats and the ball on the hat was bouncing on his face the whole time. He was so drunk that he couldn't do anything about it.
Another woman called in and defended Artie's eating. She was trying to hook up with Artie at the game but she thought it was tomorrow night so Artie just told her to meet him there at 5 o'clock. Shuli called in after that and said that people haven't seen Artie really drunk until they've seen him out in Las Vegas. Shuli also talked about last night's E! show where they showed some footage from the Ft. Lauderdale Scores opening. He said that Ronnie didn't look too upset about his limo the night he was down there.
Howard played a song that this guy Crank Daddy sent into them. The guy sings about Howard kicking Clear Channel's ass. Robin said it's too bad the band isn't better but Howard kind of liked it. Howard took a phone call from a guy with a Boston accent. He told Artie that it looks like the Yankees are choking. Artie said that the Yankees Red Sox games are never a let down.
A caller told Howard that he's been singing the song parody ''Uptight Jew'' that they've been playing on the show lately. He said that he sings it so loud that people have heard him. Howard said he's been singing it as well. The caller wanted to try to sing along to the ''Sulu Dance'' song parody to try and win a prize. Howard had a watch for him to give away so he let him try to sing along. He was doing pretty good and got almost every bit of George Takei's stuff in there. Howard said he only missed one but Howard thought it was good enough to win the prize from Steven Singer Jewelers. He had to take another break after that.
Howard brought in rapper 50 Cent and G Unit come in after that. Howard had some of 50 Cent's music playing as they came in. He talked to 50 Cent about how quick his career took off after Eminem started pushing him. Howard asked him if he's worth over $30 million. 50 Cent said that he is worth that much. He's also producing G Unit's stuff and he produced Lloyd Banks new CD ''The Hunger For More.'' The guys in G Unit say that they're worth millions as well. One of the guys was wearing a watch that cost him $70,000. Artie said that the watch went well with the nine dollar sweat pants he was wearing. The guys said that those were G Unit sweat pants though so they're not nine dollars.
One of the guys in G Unit had to get permission to come to the show because he's on probation and isn't supposed to leave his house. Howard talked to him about that for a short time. He's allowed to leave his house between the hours of 7 and 9 at night so he's actually allowed to go out during the day. The guy had a gun on him and ended up getting arrested for that. Howard said that 50 Cent has been shot 9 times so he can understand why the guys in G Unit would need to carry guns. Howard talked to one of the guys who got shot one time. The bullet went through his liver and out of his body. He wasn't even sure that he was shot because it was an internal injury. He was walking through the streets and ended up getting hit by a car that night as well.
Gary came in and said that Lloyd Banks hooked up with porn star Taylor Rain during their DVD shoot. That led to Fred playing clips of Taylor's ''Oh Yeah!'' that they play pretty often. Lloyd said that she really is hot. He recognized the ''Oh Yeah!'' clips that Fred was playing. Howard tried to get some details from Lloyd. He talked a little bit about how she was and how he hooked up with her that night.
Howard took some phone calls after that. One guy said that over in Iraq they have 50 Cent t-shirts. 50 said that he did a show over there for the troops and that's how they got over there. Gary came in after that and said that 50 got in some trouble when he made some comments about gay guys in an interview. He ended up catching a lot of crap about that. 50 Cent said that the only problem with gay guys is that they want everyone to be gay. 50 Cent got in trouble after saying he didn't want to hang out with gay people but he called them faggots as he was telling the reporter that. Artie told the guys that there's nothing funnier than a black gay guy though.
Howard said the guys brought in three bitches with them today so he wondered what that was about. The guys said they were there to promote this ''Groupie Love'' movie. It's an interactive movie and you can have sex with Taylor Rain if you want. Artie heard that and said he has to get it. Howard brought in the girls after that. One of the girls, Daisy, was on the show before and at the time, she claimed that she would never do black guys. Will came in with some notes on her and everything that happened to her led to her being part of this porn movie. Howard said she's super hot and he seemed to be glad that she was in foster care as a kid because it led to her getting into porn. Howard talked to the other girls a little bit and then gave the guys some plugs for this DVD they have out. You can find out more at GroupieLoveDVD.com.
Gary told Howard how 50 Cent has his hands in just about everything these days. He's got a ''Formula 50'' Vitamin Water and all kinds of other stuff. Howard figured he must be worth over a $100 million. Howard asked 50 about the house he bought that used to be Mike Tyson's house. Artie ended up doing an impression of Tyson for a couple of minutes.
Artie mentioned Ronnie the Limo Driver's stretch Escalade so Howard told 50 that he wanted to sell him the limo. Howard had to wrap up the interview after that but the girls presented him with a bunch of G Unit clothes before he went to commercial.
Howard took a call from a guy who congratulated Fred for the Rodney Dangerfield tribute song he put together. Howard wondered if they'd retired that clip yet. He and Artie both said they'd be up for another play of that one. Howard was kind of bummed that Rodney didn't get bigger write ups than he did. Fred played his ''Dear Rodney'' tribute song a short time later. After that Howard thanked his audience for supporting the show through everything that they've gone through over the past couple of years. His ratings have been great lately and he really appreciates that. He said that his audience urinates in the face of the conservatives out there and he loves them for that. He said it was a great feeling to see that everyone is still on board with him and that his ratings were up. There are a lot of people in his life that are a pain in the ass to him but the fans make it much better for him. He was being kind of cryptic talking about the pain in the ass people. All he would say is ''2006'' and that was it.
Howard mentioned that Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne were going to be coming in later. He was also talking about how crazy 50 Cent and G Unit's lives are. He spent a minute on that and then took a phone call from a woman who was a self described bipolar sufferer. She was in a manic phase this morning so she was a little hyped up. Howard told her he wished she was the opposite of manic. He told her to make sure she stays on her medication because he doesn't need her jumping out of a building and landing on his head. Howard said there was no such thing as Bipolar 20 years ago. Back then they just called it ''mental'' or ''whacked out.'' Now they have a name for it. Robin mentioned Chris Rock's bit about dumb kids and how they now say that they have ADD and crap like that instead of just calling them dumb like they used to.
Howard read another e-mail from a guy who was looking for help with a song that he heard on the radio the other day. He gave the guys some lyrics and they were able to figure out it was a George Harrison song. Howard was talking about how slow his web site was moving last night when he was on the site. He just wanted to look at some of the pictures and articles they have on the site but it was moving really slow. He read a few other e-mails about what went on with the show yesterday. He said that they got a lot of mail about Leah Remini not breast feeding her kid. Some people were upset about it and others said that breast feeding doesn't make a difference so Howard should just shut up.
Howard had some audio clips to go through. Michael Moore was on The Tonight Show talking about how his pay-per-view event getting canceled after he had signed contracts with the pay-per-view people. Moore claims that Sinclair media is going to play an anti-Kerry movie on 62 of their stations across the country and the FCC has no problem with that. Moore is now offering Sinclair Media his movie for free so they can show that on their stations to prove that they're not biased as they claim.
Howard and Robin are excited about tonight's episode of ''Smallville'' because they're going to have The Flash on. Howard knows that he's a geek but he's thrilled that they're going to have The Flash on with Superman. Meanwhile, Artie is still talking about the Yankee game and how bad he was feeling today after spending all night over there. Howard took a break after that so he could get to Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne.
Ozzy made a comment about his wife wearing a wig and laughed about it so Howard thought that he might be high this morning. Sharon told him he's high on life. Ozzy went on to tell Howard about his ATV accident last year and how he was told not to tour for 18 months. He went right out and toured after that though. Howard said that he gets kind of pissed at Sharon about the way she shops because she's the one keeping Ozzy on the road touring. Sharon said she knew Howard was going to go there. Howard told Ozzy to go to his accountant and find out how much he's really worth because he never kept track of that stuff. Ozzy said he was going to take control from Sharon but that only lasted for about an hour.
Howard talked to Sharon and Ozzy about their daughter Kelly who was on recently. She wasn't talking about much with him though. Howard was talking to her about the guys who she has dated that he saw on ''The Osbourne's'' but Ozzy said he never watches the show so he wouldn't know anything about that. Ozzy and his family went through a lot on their MTV show. Sharon got cancer, Ozzy almost killed himself on an ATV and both of the kids went through rehab. They have one more season of the show left to go and it's already been taped. They're done with it after that.
Ozzy says that he's doing fine these days and he's able to have sex with his wife no problem. He's off of all of the medication now and he can still get it up. Their kids are still bothered when they hear about that stuff. Howard tried to talk to Kelly about anal sex and about her mother liking it but she didn't want to hear it.
Howard brought up this ''Battle for Ozzfest'' show they're doing for MTV. They're going to have bands battling to get into the Ozzfest concert. Ozzy would like to have all of the bands come out with him so he can't judge. Sharon said that the bands get new equipment and get to tour worldwide with Ozzy for Ozzfest. That led to Ozzy talking about how he brought his wife along with him on a world tour one time and forgot about her being there when he brought home a Japanese woman with him. Sharon ended up getting upset and smacked the woman around as she was kicking her out of the room. Howard brought up a story about Sharon claiming that she banged the late Randy Rhodes when she was with Ozzy. Sharon said she didn't do anything but love Randy like Ozzy loved him. Ozzy said ''I never fffu... I never did anything with Randy!'' Howard said he read a book where she claims that all three of them were in bed together and she made love to the guy. Sharon said that she didn't make love, she came as close to making love to him as possible without actually having sex. Ozzy said he's never read the book because he might end up killing a couple of people if he did. Howard read an excerpt from the book where Sharon says that she had sex with Randy and even Ozzy knew about it but didn't want to talk about it. Sharon told Howard that he's ''so Jewish'' because he's getting so dramatic about this stuff. Sharon eventually said that she did have sex with Randy after getting upset with Ozzy one time when he was still with his other wife. Ozzy said he knew about it and it really doesn't matter to him. Howard thought she did it to teach Ozzy a lesson.
Sharon seemed a little upset with Howard about him picking on her. Howard said he was just trying to help them through all of this stuff. Sharon told Howard that Ozzy has cheated on her many times and has slept with nannies and housekeepers through the years. Robin asked Ozzy if that was true. Ozzy gave a simple ''I dunno'' answer. Howard joked that Ozzy should get a DNA test for Jack because he could be Randy's son. Sharon said that would be kind of tough because Randy died about 5 years before Jack was born.
Sharon is doing a show with Simon Cowell who Ozzy really doesn't like. Howard wondered why she'd disgrace her husband like that. Sharon said that she doesn't like Simon either and really dislikes him. Sharon said that she's doing it because it's just business. She asked Howard if he likes everyone he works with. Howard doesn't like everyone so she thought she'd proven her point. Howard couldn't get over the Randy Rhodes story so he kept bringing it up. Sharon told him once again that she wasn't married to Ozzy at the time. They were arguing about what was right and wrong with that whole situation. Howard started to wrap things up and gave them a plug for the ''Battle for Ozzfest'' thing. He thought that Ozzy wasn't a judge but Sharon said it's her and Ozzy judging the bands.
Ozzy was telling Howard how he got guitar player Leslie West to play with him on a new song so they told him to keep Sharon away from him because he's a guitar player. Howard told Sharon that he really loves the two of them after Sharon complained about him yanking their chain for the past half hour. Their new show ''Battle for Ozzfest'' airs next Monday at 10:30pm on MTV.
Howard played a clip from the TV show Extra where they weighed in American Idol's Ruben Studdard. He hopped on a scale and weighed in at 449 pounds. People estimated he was about 360 pounds so he weighed in 89 pounds more than that. Artie couldn't believe that number. Randy Jackson is going to be coaching him on his weight loss but he lost his weight by getting his stomach stapled.
Jeff the Drunk called in and said he's guaranteeing a Yankee win tonight. There was a few seconds of dead silence after that. Howard just said ''okay...'' and let him hang. Jeff is moving into the new trailer home this week. Howard didn't seem to care much though and hung up on him a short time later. He was annoyed with that double clicking sound he makes after he says things. He said he likes Jeff but he gets on his nerves once in a while. Robin started her news a short time later.
King of All Blacks called in during the news and said he just got married a week ago. He had a conversation with his wife about women being raped and they wondered if they ever have orgasms when that happens. Robin said that she's pretty sure that some women do but it's a physiological thing and they don't necessarily enjoy the rape experience. They spent a short time on that and then King told Howard about G Unit's clothing and how corny it is. He said when you see their stuff on someone, you just know they're corny. He said the Polo stuff is the in thing these days. He said that FUBU has been out for a long time now and there were some other clothing lines that aren't in these days either. King wanted to talk to Howard about his move to satellite radio but he's not allowed to talk about it on the air because they might just kick his ass off the air if he does. King wanted to make it a cryptic thing but Howard didn't want him to go there at all.
King told Howard he was pretty sure he knew why Howard had that cheese in his underwear the other morning but Howard already knew. He said he wears some silk shorts to bed and the don't allow his crotch to breathe. King thought that Howard should just take a shower in the morning instead of taking one at night. Howard had to bail on the call with King because his cell phone kept cutting out. He had Robin finish up her news.
Howard took a call from Shaune Bagwell who was on the show yesterday. She said that someone (Gary) may have given out a little too much information about where she was staying. Now she's getting phone calls and gifts sent to her room. She said it's not so bad when she gets calls from nice people but there are some people getting too personal. She was on her way out of the hotel as she was telling Howard all of this stuff so she wouldn't have to go through that much longer. Robin finished up her news and they ended the show around 10:30 this morning.
Howard started off the show talking about the Yankees loss to the Red Sox in the 7th game of the playoffs last night. He said they're calling it ''the collapse'' in the paper today. Artie said that it was the worst loss in the history of the Yankees. He talked about how horrible the pitchers were in last night's game and how they were all a bunch of ''over paid dick heads.'' He talked about how the pitchers just sucked right off the bat and blew it right from the beginning of the game. Howard wondered why the Yankees don't have great pitchers while they have other great players on the team. Artie told Howard about why they signed the guys they have and how it just didn't work out for the Yankees. He's glad he wasn't there at the game, he stayed home and watched it. Artie said he thinks he'll be able to move on from here. Howard said that it's obvious that the Yankees aren't invincible and everyone saying that they buy their wins isn't really true. Artie was going nuts when talking to Gary about George Steinbrenner and the reasons he does what he does with the team. He was also talking about the amount of money they pay the guys on that team. Artie said that A-Rod gets like $25 million and has his own office and jet. He wondered what a baseball player needs an office for. Gary said he heard that his manager said that A-Rod is not only a player, he's a business and needs that office to conduct his business. Gary said when the Mets were trying to get A-Rod they revealed the stuff he wanted and one of the things was a kiosk in front of the stadium where they sold only A-Rod merchandise. Artie didn't think that was so crazy because to him, that guy is the Joe Dimaggio of this generation.
Howard asked Artie how bad this loss hurt. Artie said that it really hurts because he was looking forward to going to the Series with his uncles. It's an event that was just ripped out of his life. He was ready to go to the games over the weekend and that has been taken away from him now. He and his uncles would have hung out and had a great time but it's gone now. Howard wondered what Artie would say to the Yankees if he had them there in the studio. Artie had no idea but then said that he wouldn't be able to say anything because he doesn't speak Spanish. A caller from Boston called in to talk about the loss. Artie was asked if he's going to root for the Red Sox in the Series. Artie said he can't admit that he's going to root for them but he is a fan of the American League and doesn't care about the Astros or Cardinals.
The guys were talking about how the people up in Boston will probably take down the stadium up there if they win the Series. Howard told Artie to be careful talking like that because Jimmy Kimmel got in a lot of trouble talking about the people of Detroit rioting. Howard took some more phone calls after that and a bunch of people were breaking Artie's balls over the Yankees loss since he's such a huge fan.
Howard watched ''Smallville'' last night while the Yankee game was on. Then he watched the ABC show ''Lost'' and tried to watch some of ''The Bachelor'' and didn't see any of the Yankee game. He had too many other shows to watch before getting to the game. The guys continued to talk about the Yankees loss since just about every phone caller wanted to bring it up. One woman asked Artie if he thinks the Yankees will spend some money on pitchers for next season. Artie thinks they will, they have to now. Other callers had predictions for what's going to happen with the Yankees next year. Howard wasn't interested in that and said he heard that Mr. Mxyzptlk is going to be on ''Smallville'' next week. Robin thought he was kidding but he was serious. He had to explain to Artie who the guy is and how Superman defeats him.
Howard took a call from a guy asking about uncensored E! shows so Howard said that they now have the ''World's Biggest Hemorrhoid'' contest on his web site now (and it's very disturbing). He spent a minute on that before the caller told Howard how much he dislikes President Bush. He said he wants him out of office. That got Howard and Robin talking about him for a few seconds before they had to go to commercial break.
Howard said they've gotten about 9 or 10 entrants for the Amputee Beauty Pageant next week. He said they want to bring that down to about 5 so they have to figure out who to keep. Some of the women have just pinkies missing and he's not sure if they want the hottest chicks or the freakiest chicks with limbs missing. The guys were trying to figure out what they were actually going to judge the women on. Howard said they could judge on looks and then amputation so there will be two scores per woman. Artie said they don't want any whiners in there and started to do an impression of what they might sound like that had Howard cracking up. He was telling the women to toughen up and stop whining about everything. He didn't want to hear any of that when they come in for the contest.
Howard wondered if the women will have to do anything physical for the contest. That wouldn't be fair if all of the women have different parts amputated. Gary also wanted to know if they should have them wear their prosthesis to the studio or not. Howard said they can wear them in but they'll have to take them off in the studio. Chaunce Hayden is a big amputee fan and he can't wait to judge this contest. Howard read a letter from Chaunce yesterday and he almost begged to come in and judge the contest. Artie told him that he's really creepy with that and it's just weird that he likes amputees so much. Chaunce said he finds it erotic for some reason. Howard got a copy of Chaunce's letter and read it again to show how creepy he is. He said that he's dated amputee victims just because they were amputees. He's gotten off by just having a woman rub her sump in his lap. Chaunce also told them that he has poured syrup on a woman's stump to get off. Chaunce also liked to have amputees on his internet radio show every week. Howard told Chaunce he's in for the contest. Chaunce wants Howard to put this on the web and sell it for like $100 because there are like 50 million people out there would watch it. Howard said he's going to put it on E! for free for everyone to see instead.
Chaunce said that everyone has a fetish and he'd like to know what Gary's is. Howard was trying to come up with his own but couldn't think of anything weird. Gary was trying to figure out what Howard likes that's creepy and the only thing he could come up with was the tickling thing. Howard doesn't do that in his private life though. He's only done that a couple of times with women he's dated. Howard wanted to get out of the conversation so he let Gary get back to the Amputee thing.
Gary said that it sounds like they're not going to have the hot chick with just a pinkie amputated. Howard thought about letting all nine entrants come in but Gary thought it would be too many people. Gary said he'd pick the five finalists himself. Chaunce wondered who the other judges would be. Gary said that King of All Blacks would like to come in. Rev. Bob Levy's name was mentioned as well as Triumph The Insult Comic Dog. Howard said that the guy who does the voice for that puppet, Robert Smigel, doesn't let them interview him, only the dog. Gary said that Smigel doesn't seem like a happy guy. Artie said he knows guys like that and they are never happy. Howard liked the stuff he did on Saturday Night Live with the TV Funhouse stuff. They also liked when Triumph was banging the other puppets in the studio. Artie told Howard that Bob Levy might be an expert on the Amputee thing since he banged a chick without an arm not too long ago. Howard said that Levy is no expert, but he meant that as a compliment. He had to go to break after that.
Howard brought up the Bill O'Reilly lawsuit that's been in the news lately. He's read some stuff about O'Reilly and he's looking kind of pathetic right now. That is if the case is legitimate. He said that O'Reilly comes across as a creep to him. He's going to assume the worst for him and talked about how this woman who brought the suit against him had left his show and went to CNN for a while. Then she wanted to go back to the O'Reilly show. She went out to dinner with him one night and even went back to his hotel room to watch TV with him one night. If O'Reilly was so offensive to her, why would she do that? He said that she has to assume some responsibility for that stuff. He said he believes that O'Reilly may have said the things she's claiming but her suit won't have a chance based on her merit. He said in today's paper they say that the woman's father wants to duel O'Reilly. Howard seems to think that would be pretty funny. Howard showed the guys the picture of the woman in the paper and she's really not hot. O'Reilly's ratings have been going up because of the controversy though.
Howard said that he had to thank the fans in Philadelphia because of the ratings he got down there. In his company's newsletter they talk about Howard's move to satellite but they don't want him to talk about it on the air for some reason. He's doing that to show some respect for the company he's been working for for the past 19 years. He said he got a legal letter from the company asking him not to talk about the satellite stuff. He doesn't want to get into a big legal battle so he's keeping his mouth shut.
High Pitch Erik called in and said that he has a problem with Zolar who has been giving out his personal information on Howard's bulletin board. Howard said he's thinking about shutting down the board because no one can get along on there. Erik also complained about Zolar pulling down his pants at a comedy gig he did over the weekend. Howard said they have an exclusive interview with High Pitch on his web site HowardStern.com to check out. He said that people should check out the pictures of the girls that came in with 50 Cent and G Unit yesterday. Then he mentioned the uncensored ''Worlds Biggest Hemorrhoid Contest'' E! show being available on there as well.
High Pitch was doing his KC impression at the comedy show so he wanted to give Howard an example. He did one joke doing his deep voice but the joke was kind of lame. Howard ended up hanging up on him after that. He said that he might just have to shut down that bulletin board because everyone is fighting on there all the time and he has to watch over them. The guys had another porn clip where a woman was making some pretty strange sounds as she was getting banged. Robin asked Howard what he'd think if he heard a woman making noises like that. He said he'd think that his neighbors would want to come and kill him if he had a woman that loud.
Howard played a voice mail they got for Artie from a Boston Red Sox fan. The guy went off on Artie about the Yankees loss. Howard then went through some e-mail. He gave a shout out to the guys at WJSE in Atlantic City because they renewed his show for the remainder of his contract so he'll still be on down there until he makes his move to satellite. Howard got some feedback about 50 Cent and G Unit. A lot of people didn't seem to like them and wondered why Howard had them on the show. There were some racist comments made by the writers of those e-mails. There were also some racist comments about Artie in other e-mails. They complained about the way Artie pronounces Italian words and stuff like that. Other e-mailers liked the Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne interview yesterday. Someone asked Howard to keep talking about President Bush and all of the stuff he's been doing wrong. He read through a few more e-mails and said he had a bunch of stuff to play after the break.
Howard was distracted before taking a break. He had played A Perfect Circle's cover of the song ''Imagine'' recently and said that they did a whole album of remakes called ''Emotive.'' He played ''Imagine'' again and talked about a public speaking class he took in school one time where he was forced to sing ''Row, Row, Row Your Boat'' in front of the class. He said if he was cool he would have sang the song in a similar way to A Perfect Circle's song. He played another track from the album and had Robin try and figure out what song it was. She didn't know it was ''What's So Funny 'Bout Peace Love And Understanding'' because it was unrecognizable. Fred and Artie both hated that song. Howard played ''What's Going On'' next and the guys recognized it pretty quick. Robin kind of like that version as did Howard. He went to break after that.
Howard introduced Sky first. He read some facts about her and found out that she's been dating Shane Van Dyke, the grandson of Dick Van Dyke, for about a year. She's met Dick a few times. She said that Shane writes movies and stuff and worked on ''Diagnosis Murder'' for a few years. That's because Dick worked on that show. Howard saw that she dated Charlie Sheen for a short time when he was younger. She wanted to meet the rest of his family and didn't actually bang him. She also claims that she had a one night stand with John Stamos. She said she remembers that he had a ''fuzzy butt.'' Sky told Howard how she met John and hooked up with him the same night. There were some other things Howard read about Sky that were kind of interesting. She believes in ghosts and thinks that one made love to her one time.
Howard introduced Kim next and read some stuff from her bio. He said that she might be the wackiest. She claims she has the ability to see ghosts and she's a psychic. She told Howard she reads Tarrot cards and stuff. Howard told her that she's just an average person and she can't do anything like that. Kim told Howard that she once saw a co-worker of hers fall in a dream or something and then it happened the next day. She was also claiming that she can shut street lights out just by standing near them when she's tired. Gary asked her to turn some lights out in the studio but she wasn't tired and she can't make it happen, it just happens.
A phone caller asked Howard to get these girls to kiss or something but Howard told the guy he was going to get them naked. He introduced Tanjareen next. He read some stuff about her and said that all Vegan chicks are wacky. She claims that she had a boyfriend who beat her on the head with a pipe one time. She talked about some of the other things she went through in her life. Howard wondered if she's ever banged a white guy. She hasn't done any yet but it sounded like she was ready to do him. Howard read that Tanjareen had intercourse at the age of 4 and did some lesbian stuff at 12. She has ''chilled'' with Shaquille O'neil on a few occasions. For some reason there were a few delay hits during those discussions.
Howard told the girls that he wanted them to get naked before they got plugs for anything. They were going to do the bathing suit thing but Howard wanted them nude. He was going to kill off some animals if they didn't get naked. He had the guys bring in a hamster that they were going to kill with rat poison if they didn't get naked. One of the girls asked Howard how he sleeps at night. The girls thought that they were being a little rough. Howard gave them a countdown from 10 and then threatened to pour the poison on the hamster. The girls kept trying to stop the killing but Howard wanted at least one of them to just take their top off. Doug from E! was holding the hamster and threatened to break it's neck if they didn't show something. Tanjareen volunteered to do it and pulled out one boob. Howard told her to take out both. She refused at first but eventually agreed and showed both. She asked if she could keep the hamster since she'd saved it.
Howard told the girls they had to make out next or he would drown a bunch of meal worms. The girls agreed to kiss each other so they wouldn't do that. The girls all kissed and saved the worms. They got in a plug for their web site VeganVixen.org after that. Howard brought in a bunch of crickets to kill if the girls didn't do what Howard wanted. He said that two of the girls had to moon him. They picked Kim and Tanjareen who gave them a moon. Artie said they were nice asses too. Tanjareen got in a plug for her own web site Tanjareen.com. They also asked to do a Vegan Vixen cheer for Howard after that. They did that and annoyed the guys in the studio. They did show their panties at the end of it.
Howard let the girls get a plug for their Vegan Vixen Cookbook. He took some phone calls after that as well and one guy was calling Tanjareen the N-word but also saying that he was attracted to her. He gave the girls a few more plugs and then wrapped up the segment. Kim got in a plug for her personal web site KimSomers.com and Howard gave them plugs for the VeganVixen.org site and Tanjareen.com.
Howard had a bunch of tapes to get to this morning but he wasn't sure where to start. He said that Melrose Larry Green has been calling in trying to get back on the show since Howard banned him. Gary came in and said that he's probably left hundreds of messages over the past couple of years but they all get deleted. Howard forgot to play Gary's theme song so he played a new one from Sal the Stockbroker. Sal did a parody of ''Tainted Love'' that was all about Gary's teeth and breath as usual. Howard then played some of Melrose Larry Green's voice mail messages. In one message he left with Doug from E!, Melrose says that he will only do major shows like Howard's and Jimmy Kimmel's to promote his new book. Melrose left another message about how his book is in it's third printing already and he wants to promote it on Howard's show. Howard said that probably means that he's gotten 3 books printed since he's publishing it himself. Melrose eventually warned them that he was going to do a big ''media blitz'' to push his book and he didn't want people to get pissed at him for being a traitor if he goes on other shows. There were other messages from Melrose where he tells Doug to tell Howard that he's paranoid about Bush coming after him when it's got nothing to him. Robin doesn't know why he leaves so many messages if he's done with the show. Melrose complained about the way he has helped promote the show over the years and he gets no respect. Gary told Howard that the messages he played were just a day and a half's worth of messages.
Jillian said that she doesn't know if she's going to make it in the magazine or not but she has done a centerfold shoot. Howard asked her if she slept with Hugh Hefner when she was out in California. She said she didn't do that. Gary told Howard that Jillian's relationship with her boyfriend is kind of tough right now because of what she's doing. She said that he's still in school right now so this is tough on him. Howard and the guys predicted this would happen and they figured they'd break up pretty quick. Howard thinks she'll end up moving out to Los Angeles and she'll be banging celebrities out there. Artie saw Jillian and her boyfriend at a show in St. Louis and they were fine. Jillian said they just have to talk some things over and they'll be okay. Artie wondered if they have to discuss the fact that she'll be dating people like Shaq. Jillian said he's just having a hard time with everything. Artie and Howard had some more fun goofing around with the idea of her banging rappers and pro sport players.
Howard said that Jillian looked much different when he saw the test shoots. Robin said she looked different today. Howard asked Kevin Custer if he had any updates for them. Kevin told Howard that Jillian has been accepted as a Playmate and that got Jillian crying. She told Howard that it's been a dream of hers for a long time and it's finally come true. Jillian hasn't seen the photos yet but she has seen the polaroids so she has an idea of what they look like. Jillian is going to be Miss March 2005 so keep your eyes open for that issue. Her mother was very happy for her because this is what she wanted. Robin said she wasn't jumping up and down about it though. Howard ended up singing ''You'll Never Walk Alone'' to Jillian with some new lyrics in there.
Howard asked Jillian who she met when she was out at the Playboy mansion. She said she met Jon Lovitz at the mansion and then went out to a club and met Bruce Willis. She also said that she's gotten an invitation to Hef's bedroom so her mother told her that she can always say no to that. Howard wondered if Jillian shaved down completely down below for the Playboy shoot. She said that she didn't shave it all and her mother was surprised that she shaved as much as she did. Artie asked the guys to give them a moment of silence for Jillian's boyfriend who just jumped off a bridge. Artie cracked some other jokes about the guys she'll probably be banging in the future now that she's going to be a Playmate. Gary wanted to call her boyfriend on the air but she said he asked not to be called. Artie told her that this is a springboard to dating Sam Simon.
Howard told Jillian that he saw video of her test shoot and she looked very much like a Playmate. Kevin said that they didn't even need to airbrush her. Jillian thanked Howard for his help in hooking her up with this stuff. Artie asked for some thanks as well because he's been a supporter. She thanked him as well and said that she would like to get into acting eventually as well. Kevin told Howard it would be nice if he could find them 12 Playmates a year. Howard told him that if they find women as hot as Jillian, they'll be sure to call him.
Doug Goodstein came in and told Howard that Jillian gave Hugh Hefner a jar of pickles as a gift when she went out there. She said that her family makes pickles so that's why she did that. Howard heard that Robin Radzinski started to cry when Jillian started to cry. While he waited for her to come in Kevin gave Howard an official Playboy Deputy badge that they created for him. Robin Radzinski came in and said that she really was touched by Jillian because they made her dream come true. Artie pointed out that they had gotten her into porn. He also cracked some jokes about her needing some stuff to do coke off of once she gets out to Los Angeles.
Jillian said that she's going to be out at the Playboy mansion for the Halloween party next week. Artie said her costume is going to be ''Jon Lovitz's girlfriend.'' Howard joked with her about holding out for people like James Caan and Fred Dryer instead of Jon Lovitz. Howard wrapped up after that and said you can check out Jillian's web site JillianGrace.net. Jillian said she thinks that Playboy is going to get her JillianGrace.com as well eventually. Artie told her that she'll be welcome back next year when she comes back with her illegitimate Mullato baby. Jillian's issue of Playboy will hit the newsstands in February next year.
Howard wanted Robin to start her news but the guys ended up talking about baseball again for a few minutes. Gary had come in so Fred was playing as many of his theme songs as he could. He noticed that Howard and Robin always look at each other when the songs play like they want to see what kind of reaction he's giving. Howard wondered how many years Gary's name has been ''Baba Booey.'' Gary said it's been his name since 1989 or so. There are actually other radio show hosts who have named their producers Baba Booey because it's become such a major part of the show. Artie said his favorite is the Baker Street parody where the lyrics are just ''Baba Booey.'' Gary said the worst part of that one is the intro because it's like waiting for someone to wind up and punch him. The parodies just kept coming after that. Howard thinks that it will eventually be a word they study in the future trying to figure out where he came from. Gary said that people will sometimes call him just ''Bob'' instead of the whole name. One time he said that he was talking to Jay Mohr and Jay got pissed at him and said that he was a jerk and ''no wonder they call you Baba Booey.'' He said that was really insulting.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who wondered why Howard didn't talk about Jon Stewart's appearance on Crossfire. He actually did mention it quickly one day but he talked about it again today. He said that Stewart made a good point on that show and in Rolling Stone magazine about how news organizations are not doing their jobs these days because they're not digging into the real stories about what the President is up to these days. He went on Crossfire and blasted them for not doing their jobs and Howard thought it was great but the guys on the show went off on him but Jon stood his ground and didn't crack.
Howard and Artie were talking about Jillian Grace during the break and were trying to predict what kind of life she'll have had a year after the Playboy issue comes out. Artie thinks that they'll have to have her back in a year later to find out what she went through. Howard said that she'll probably be talking about guys like Jamie Foxx, Bernie Mac and Craig Kilborn. Howard had Robin get to her news after that. They wrapped up the show around 10:25 this morning.
Through all of this they stuck together. That's what led to the book thing. Howard let them talk about all of that but wanted people to know that there are a lot of relationships like this out there. There are men who are ashamed to admit that they're gay and they go out and marry straight women and will eventually let them down.
Howard kept saying that Sean doesn't have to really work for anything in his life because his mother has Beatles money and she'll pay the bills. He said that he's trying to get his music career going so he can make his own money.
Sean and Howard got into an argument about the FCC rules about cursing on the air. Sean said he thought Howard was a rebel and he curses on the show more. Howard had to explain to him that there are rules and he has to obey them because he has to make a living doing what he does. Robin told Sean that's the difference between the two of them. Howard has to work for his money so he has to obey rules. Sean refused to listen to them and continued to curse which showed how he doesn't seem to care about following rules.
Howard said that he saw Sean at a party one time and neither of them went up to each other. Sean thought that Howard didn't like him because he goofs on his music. Howard told him just because he doesn't like his music doesn't mean that he doesn't like him as a person. Both of them said that they could hang out with each other if they meet somewhere sometime. Howard told Sean that he shouldn't be afraid to come up to him at a party. Sean told Howard he could hang with him out in L.A. next time he's there. Howard had to take a break because he'd gone so long talking to Sean. Plus, Sean was still cursing and he couldn't let that go on much longer.
Crazy Cabbie called in to talk about the David Blaine thing that he went to yesterday. He claims that Blaine was anchored to the pole he was standing on. Cabbie went on to say he wasn't arrested, it was just the ABC security guards who were hassling him. Cabbie claims that one of them tried to shove him down the stairs there so he turned around ready to fight and the guy got into a Karate stance. He thought that was pretty funny.
Howard talked about going down there himself. Blaine wanted to talk to Howard so they gave him a headset to use to talk to him. Howard and Cabbie seem to think that Blaine looks kind of like a terrorist but all the women they know like that look.
Howard said Cabbie has been able to do something he was never able to do. Cabbie is making extra money for doing live commercials on the station. Howard doesn't get paid extra for the live commercials he reads, they're part of his contract. Cabbie pointed out that Howard makes like $20 million though. Howard still thinks that he should be making extra for doing those commercials. General Manager Tom Chiusano came in and told Howard that Cabbie makes extra money for commercials he does for Trim Spa that air in other markets, not for the commercials that run on their station.
Howard said his girlfriend is going to L.A. This weekend for a wedding but he's afraid to fly now so he's not going. He said she's a little upset about it. Howard said he pictures himself having to wrestle with a terrorist on the flight and he doesn't want anything like that to happen.
Howard mentioned a sponsor they have called The Spy Shop which sells hidden cameras for spying on babysitters and nannys. Stuttering John said he caught his nanny using the phone to call 900 numbers while she was watching his kid. They somehow got on the subject of some guy who had a hidden camera on kids in a bathroom and then started talking about why schools used to make kids swim naked during gym class. Scott the Engineer was the one who brought that up one time. Gary said that in his school they used to have to wear bathing suits that the school provided. He said he would want to wear that before swimming naked. Everyone then spent some time talking about being naked in front of other guys and how uncomfortable it is.
KC was sharing some stories about the hijinks he and his buddies got into when he was in college. They'd fill up a condom with ranch dressing and throw it at people standing on the side of the road. He had a bunch of other stories about assaulting people in many different ways. Everyone else had their own stories that they shared also.
Mike Gange made the mistake of coming in to share his stories. He got goofed on for a half hour instead. Howard had him stand on the hidden scale so they could see how much he ballooned up over the holidays. He was at a hefty 236 pounds. Then they found out he'd been skiing during vacation so they asked him if he hooked up with any chicks. He said he didn't because he was busy skiing. Howard then spent quite a bit of time trying to give him some advice on how to pick up chicks at a ski lodge. He didn't want to hear it though. He had excuses for why he didn't have time to do it while he was there. Howard called him a girl and said he should stick something in him.