The girls told Howard that they're not strippers, they work for a web site called GirlsHouseOnline.com (Now FunSisters.com) doing masturbation shows. Howard started thinking that they're not really sisters but he said they did some checking and they really are sisters.
While they were telling their stories they were dressed in bikini tops. Howard wondered where the thong bottoms were because they were wearing pants. Howard had them take off their pants so he could check out the thongs. Howard said they both had nice asses and fake boobs. They said they got their implants at the same time.
AJ Benza described one of the girls as looking like Catherine Zeta-Jones and Howard said the other one looked like Jennifer Love Hewitt. At one point Howard had the two of them making out with each other. They were putting hands on breasts and kissing and it was driving listeners nuts. A few phone callers said they had to ''run off a batch'' while driving in traffic. One guy said he was actually happy to be stuck in traffic this morning. Howard was awestruck by the two of them. He kept saying ''Wow!'' each time they'd kiss or touch each other. One of the girls said she likes to be spanked. Howard had her get over her sister's lap to get spanked. Howard said he was touching himself under the console the whole time. Some of the guys wondered what the girls will do to top all of this stuff. They said they have a 17 year old sister they're planning on introducing to all of this when she turns 18 this summer. They said they'd bring her on the show after her 18th birthday in August.
The girls said that it's hard to get them in bed when they date but they said they'd go out with someone who called in this morning. A short time later a guy called in and Howard offered him the date. He'll get to hang out with them and possibly get to go back to their hotel to watch the two of them get it on.
Howard had them talk a little more about the first time they had sex before he ended the segment. One of the girls told Howard how they were out getting drunk one night and they lost the keys to their car. They had to be towed home and while they were on the way home they were talking about sex. When they got home the one sister came on to the other and it went from there.
Howard told Steven that he ran into his daughter Liv the other day and she was with her new fiance. Howard said the guy looks just like Steven. Howard thought that Liv was going to marry Joaquin Phoenix but that didn't work out. Howard thinks they're a little too young to get married. Liv is only 23 and Howard's not sure about the guy and what he's done so far.
Howard told Steven that he spoke to his ex-wife about the nude pictures she was trying to sell last year and he screamed at her about it. Steven didn't really seem to care much about the photos being available. He wasn't upset over the thing and it seemed to have gone away.
Howard asked the guys how they still make good music. Robin and Howard think they must have made a deal with the devil.
Howard asked Steven if the rumor about him grabbing Britney Spears ass was true. Steven said that it was a nice rumor but it's not true. Howard wondered if any of the Backstreet Boys grabbed their asses. They didn't of course.
The guys told Howard that Kid Rock will be presenting them with their Rock and Roll Hall of Fame sometime in the future. Howard was asking if he could present them with the award but they've already given Kid Rock the okay.
Howard asked if the two of these guys get along outside of the music. They said they do things outside of the music but Howard didn't believe it.
Howard asked the guys what cool things they've bought with their big money. They said they really haven't bought that much. They don't even own their own jets, they rent them. They said that some of their riches go to their ex-wives.
Howard wrapped things up pretty quickly and plugged the album and the single after he thanked the guys for calling in.
The next intern up was Tara who was an intern back in 1994 or so. Tara went and worked for WNBC in New York for a while, moved out to California and now worked for KNBC and now she's a field producer for Access Hollywood. She actually broke the story about Robert Downey Jr. Having the Wonder Woman outfit in his room when he got busted for drugs not that long ago.
Next up was crazy Zach who ran into the studio naked on his next to last day of work. He had to be fired because of that stunt and he did an interview on Extra and came of as a dick. He said he didn't say anything bad about anyone but he came off that way in the interview. He went to work for Kenny Kramer for a while and now he's working on his stand-up comedy career in California. He'll be appearing at The Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip June 23. Check out ZachWaldman.com for more info.
Gay Rich called in quickly and said he's worked for Carnie Wilson, Maurey Povich and now he's working for a P.R. firm. He told Howard he wants to date Crazy Cabbie so he can win some liposuction to get rid of his stomach pouch. Howard had to get through these interviews quickly because he had Ted Nugent waiting in the wings.
Mikey Stein was up next. He worked for the show 11 years ago. He told some stories about Stuttering John and Gary and said that he's doing well making a six figure salary doing whatever he's doing.
Finally, Gambling Dan called in. He blew his college tuition betting away his money. He went on to be a production assistant on Howard's movie ''Private Parts''. He then got more and more jobs in the movie industry and he's now an Assistant Director! He's working with all the big movies and movie stars like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon and Julia Roberts. He said that Clooney and Pitt really like Howard's show. Pitt is petrified of doing the show though. He thinks that Howard will bury him or something. Dan's also got a hot model girlfriend who you can see at GettingIntoShowBiz.com. Howard saw her and couldn't believe it. Gambling Dan wrapped up his call saying that Martin Lawrence really is the biggest dick in Hollywood. He said all the stories you read about him are true.
Howard was talking about his own tattoo after a caller asked him if he took care of that ugly thing on his arm. Howard had his birth sign, which looked like a ''76'', covered up with a dragon. He now thinks that it looks kind of odd because the head is too small and the body is too big. Cabbie and Robin told him it looks fine though.
Howard took a call from Jesse Jackson, actually an impersonator, who wanted to talk about his woman problems. Jesse told Howard that he would like to smother the second mother who came out with information about him. Jesse, who was rhyming everything, also said that he is the mother of many famous babies. He's the mother of the Al Pacino babies, the Olsen twins, Jimi Hendrix, Tito Jackson, Iman, Lenny Kravitz and even our President, George W. Bush. Jesse told Howard that he couldn't have gotten that second woman pregnant because he was so tired from pumping all of those other women.
After the Jesse call Howard spent tome more time with Cabbie. Cabbie had some problems with getting his prize from the day he let the guy eat ice cream out of his ass. He was supposed to get a watch from Steven Singer Jewelers in Philly. He complained that Singer didn't call him back after he called them to find out when he'd get his prize. It turns out that he was bugging them so much that they didn't bother calling him. Steven Singer himself called in to tell Howard what happened. Steven says that Cabbie called them about 5 times the day he won the prize. They couldn't give him an answer because they hadn't gotten the fax from the show yet. He called them the next day, Valentine's Day, which is their busiest day of the year and bugged them even more. Steven says they were even willing to get Cabbie a watch worth twice the amount he was supposed to get. Cabbie was arguing that he didn't bug them that much though. Steven said he called 5 times the first day but it was actually only 3 times. Cabbie will get his watch eventually. Howard ended up replaying the song parody about Cabbie where they sing ''Wah, wah wah wah wah wah somebody please help me'' over and over again while Cabbie was complaining.
|Question||Caller Says||Stripper Answer||Correct?|
|What is Al Gore's wife's name?||N||Helen||N|
|Who discovered electricity?||N||Thomas Edison||N|
|Who found the cure for Polio?||N||Some unique doctor||N|
|How many candles are on a Minora||Twelve||N|
|What letter comes after Y in the alphabet?||Z||Y|
|Who invented the light bulb?||Thomas Edison||Y|
|How many states are in the USA?||Fifty||Y|
|What President spent more than 2 terms in office?||Kennedy||N|
|What President is on the $5 bill?||Jefferson||N|
|Who was the third President of the US?||Jefferson||Y|
|How many senators are in the Senate?||Seventy two||N|
|How many senators represent each state?||One||N|
|What is the square root of 64?||Eight||Y|
|What is the capital of California?||Los Angeles||N|
|What is the capital of New York?||Manhattan||N|
|What is the capital of Maryland?||Baltimore||N|
|What is 20% of $200?||Point two oh||N|
|What temperature is freezing?||Thirty two degrees||Y|
|Name both New York Senators.||D'Amato and.. I don't know the other||N|
|What is the sun, a moon, planet, star or plant?||Star|
|What month are taxes due?||April 15th||Y|
|How many holes are in a game of golf?||Eighteen||Y|
|How many people are in a quartet?||Four||Y|
|How did JFK Jr. Die?||He was assassinated by James Earl Ray||N|
|What food group is corn in?||It's a starch but it's considered a vegetable||Y|
|What number is Black Jack?||Eight||N|
|How many clitorises do you have?||One||Y|
|How many weeks are in a year?||Sixty four||N|
|What name is Abe short for?||Abraham||Y|
|Name the pro basketball team in New Jersey.||Knicks||N|
|How many days are in a year?||360 or maybe 362 or 364||N|
|What animal is Pork?||Pig||Y|
The fact that Gene has slept with over 3000 women also came up. Gene explained how he doesn't mess around with the B.S. of trying to sweet talk a woman. He just talks to her honestly and if he finds one attractive, he'll tell her that right off. Howard thought of the relationships as one night stands but Gene doesn't see it that way.
Gene was in to promote a few things including his autobiography which will be out in the fall and a KISS box set that will cost about $250. The main thing he was promoting was a new KISS casket! He said he'll be at the Jacob Javits Convention Center tomorrow from 10am to 3pm promoting this thing. It's a full sized actual casket that will cost you about $4500. It's waterproof so it can also be used as a cooler in your house. So you can enjoy it while you're alive and dead. Of course it has KISS stuff all over it.
Howard took a couple of quick phone calls from people and then let Gene talk about how KISS has come close to beating the Beatles in sales and attendance records. He said they've actually beaten The Beatles in some attendance records. Craig's ''Gene'' said they beat the ''Most Anal'' record and they actually invented anal sex because the band was getting tired of vagina. ''Gene'' also joked that on KISSOnline.com you'll soon see a ''Cash-Cam'' where you can watch Gene count your money. Of course you'll have to pay to see him counting your money. The real Gene laughed at that whole idea.
Someone on the phone asked Gene if he's ever banged any famous chicks like Pamela Anderson. He started to talk about Pam when ''Gene'' interrupted and said that he'd banged Betty Crocker. The real Gene just said ''I give up.'' Another caller said he'd been to 13 KISS shows. ''Gene'' interrupted again and said that KISS' first fan was Eleanor Roosevelt.
Chaunce Hayden called in and tried to tell a story about going to Scores with Gene but Gene said it wasn't true. Chaunce said that he and Gene compared tongues and Gene lost to him, threw down his non-alcoholic drink and ran out when he lost. Gene swore on his children that he's never done anything like that in his life.
The other reason Gene was in was to promote a band called The Rosenbergs. One of the guys from the band was there to tell a story about how a web site tried to have their band sign a 23 page contract that would have made them almost slaves. They wanted their first 6 records and a bunch of other stuff. Gene was there to warn other bands to be careful with stuff like this. He said there's nothing like having a real record company behind you to give you an advance and to distribute your records. Howard spent a short time talking to that guy and then wrapped things up after bringing in a couple of Gene's fans. Two women came in dressed up as KISS members and said they'd like to have sex with Gene. Gene just told them about his new KISS casket and how they could use it as a cooler.
They went on to talk about the musicians which included everyone from The Beatles to Metallica. Jon said that people are very vocal about musicians more so than with the TV shows. He said he mentioned something about Rush ''Jumping the Shark'' on the site and he's still getting e-mail about that one.
Vinnie Favale from CBS was sitting in this morning and he kept trying to argue that The Beatles never jumped the shark. Both Howard and Jon argued that they did jump when John and Paul got married and their wives started ruining them. Vinnie loves The Beatles so he wouldn't accept any of their arguments.
Howard played some Kathie Lee Gifford music and said she hasn't ''jumped the shark'' yet. She hasn't gotten any worse than she was in the beginning... it sucks just as much now as it did then. Jon said that a lot of people argue that Jimi Hendrix never jumped but after he died other people made the jump for him by putting out all of his unreleased crap. Howard thinks that Metallica never ''jumped'' and they're still putting out top rate stuff. That's questionable though. Gary said he thinks they've become ''soft'' lately. You can check all of this stuff out for yourself at JumpTheShark.com or RollingStone.com
This all led to a bunch of people talking about the bathroom habits of certain people who work at the station. Scott DePace apparently has a number 2 problem and he stinks up the bathroom every day. Tom Chiusano goes to the bathroom far from his office for some odd reason and someone at the station craps in the toilet and doesn't flush... every day!
Dr. Soifer has a book out called ''The Shy Bladder Syndrome : Your Step-By-Step Guide to Overcoming Paruresis'' and you can check out his web site at ShyBladder.org
Bernie told Howard that he's not always the Bernie you see on camera. He has an act just like Howard does and when he's off camera, he's a different guy. He hasn't had the easiest life either. He was called names by other black kids as a child because his skin was so dark. He spent a couple of minutes talking about that.
Bernie also talked about how he lived in a 3 bedroom house with a total of 13 people. Most of them died at young ages and none of them are left now. He told Howard he doesn't have any family to share his accomplishments with. He does have a wife of 25 years but that relationship hasn't been easy either. Bernie said he was on the road 48 weeks a year for 13 years or so. He and his wife have cheated on each other and have gone through not speaking to each other. He said now they're over that stuff and they're best friends.
Bernie told Howard how his mother had cancer for 7 years and never told her kids about it. He said he looks back on that situation and sees that it was a very brave thing for her to do. He didn't see it that way when he was a kid though. Bernie also shared some of the other stories of death in his family with Howard. Howard asked him if he feels like a jinx in any way because so many people in his life have died. Bernie doesn't feel that way at all. He doesn't pity himself either. He's just enjoying what he has.
Howard asked Bernie about how he got started doing stand-up comedy in the subways and parks of Chicago. Bernie said he'd read the news in the morning and go on the subway and do some comedy for commuters. He wouldn't ask for money but he did have a little box that people would fill with cash. He said he could make $500 a day doing that. After 4 or 5 years he decided he wanted to be recognized for this work and started doing this stuff in comedy clubs. He said he even did some comedy at his grandfather's funeral. He said everyone was so sad. He went up in front of the people there and did an impression of his grandfather that got everyone in a more upbeat mood. He said he got a lot of positive phone calls after doing that.
Howard asked Bernie about working with Martin Lawrence in this movie ''What's the Worst That Could Happen''. Martin is ''going through something'' according to Bernie that's making him a little crazy. Bernie thinks it's got to do with Los Angeles and how everything a celebrity does becomes public knowledge. That'll drive anyone crazy. Howard mentioned Eddie Murphy's alleged foot fetish as an example. Bernie started to defend Eddie saying ''Hey, that's my man... Not literally of course...''
Bernie also spoke a little bit about Danny Devito who he said is a great guy. He's working on some kind of project with Danny too. Bernie also mentioned that he'll play a con-man in the movie ''Oceans Eleven'' which also stars Julia Roberts, Brad Pitt, George Clooney and many others. He said all of those people were great also.
As Howard was wrapping up the segment he took a couple of very positive phone calls for Bernie. One guy told Bernie not to sell out and become politically correct with this new sitcom he has coming out. He told Bernie that he's really funny just the way he is. Bernie says he's really not a TV guy and he's going to keep doing his comedy no matter what. He'll be touring next year.
Howard's buddy Ralph came in and backed up everything everyone was saying. He hangs out with Howard more than anyone and he would know. Howard said Ralph knows him better than his own mother so he should know more than she does. Howard thinks that his mother just thinks that since she raised him, there can't be anything wrong with her son. That just isn't true though. Howard eventually told his mommy that he loves her and his father very much. After he hung up he said to call and set up an appointment with his shrink right away.
Peter continued to talk about how he scrammed people in the past. He told Howard he used a voice synthesizer to change his voice so he could scam old people into thinking they were getting a date with a younger woman and stuff like that. Then he'd meet them and take their money. He said he got about $70,000 in 4 months from that guy. He said the guy was really gullible and it was easy pickins.
Peter got back to Robert Blake and said that he thinks Blake was trying to end the marriage early because the pre-nuptial agreement he had expired in a certain amount of time. This is just what Peter is thinking went on so it may or may not be true. Gary came in with some article from The Mirror in London. They claim that the restaurant owner said Blake came in and asked for a glass of water then he said Blake told him his wife had fallen down and then said she was shot. The owner allegedly asked Blake if he wanted him to call the cops but Blake said that was already taken care of. Howard told Peter that they'll get his phone number and maybe use him as the special correspondent for this whole story.
Howard asked Peter to pretend to be a woman for him on the phone like he did to scam that old guy. Peter didn't have the voice synthesizer so it was kind of lame but he went along with it for a minute. Howard gave up on it pretty quick though.