Robin brought up a story about three people having sex on the Long Island Rail Road this weekend. Robin said they ended up being put in jail. Howard said that's just not right to do stuff like that in public. Howard said he's never done anything like that with his girlfriend. He said he'd rather be home where he can relax.
After taking a break Howard talked about a book that he heard about by TV critic Tom Shales. Howard said he's been using it as a bathroom book and it's pretty good. He said that Shales interviews a lot of people from ''Saturday Night Live'' about working on the show. Howard said it's an easy read and there's no plot to follow. The book is called ''''Live From New York'': An Uncensored History of Saturday Night Live as Told by its Stars, Writers and Guests.''
Howard brought up Courtney Love who was on MTV2 for 24 hours this weekend. Howard said he hasn't seen a train wreck like that before. He said she's insane, self absorbed and won't listen to anyone. Robin told Howard about how Courtney had to talk to herself last week when Houston beat her over to him when they were saying goodbye. Howard wonders if she's doing cocaine or something. Howard said he watched her show with his girlfriend and they finally figured ''Kurt Cobain died and now we know why.'' The guys said they can't imagine spending any amount of time with her. Howard went on to read some e-mail they got about her appearance last week. There were a lot of people who said that she shouldn't be allowed on the show ever again.
Howard also got some mail about Benjy almost pleasuring himself while Houston the porn star was on. Howard said General Manager Tom Chiusano put a stop to it but Howard doesn't understand why. Tom told him that it's a work environment and he shouldn't be doing it there. Howard said it's not a work environment, it's the Howard Stern Show. The guys talked to Benjy about his unusual technique also. They said he grabs himself like he's looking in the mirror or something like that. Benjy said it happened ''accidentally'' one time a couple of years ago, and it just worked out.
Howard said some people actually enjoyed Houston's music last week. He got a couple of e-mails about that.
Howard brought up this news story about the mother who was caught on tape beating her 4 year old daughter as she put her in her truck. Howard read an article about the woman and how she beat the kid because she was having a bad day. He and Robin spent some time talking about that story and what has happened in that case. Howard was also amused by the woman's name, Madelyne Toogood. He also thought she was pretty good looking.
Howard moved on and said he read another freaky article about a famous picture from the Oklahoma City bombing. Howard said this article says that there's a guy who was obsessed with the baby picture and has tried to visit the grave and tried to buy a plot next to the baby in the graveyard. Howard said he's got to be the biggest freak ever. Howard read that the guy moved 3000 miles to be closer to the baby's grave. The family has tried to stop him but they don't know if he's broken any laws yet. The guy apparently calls the graveyard and begs them to move his plot closer to the baby's. He's only been able to get one five plots away. Howard said he'd love to interview the guy.
Howard took a phone call from a woman who called in about Courtney Love. The woman was hanging out at the MTV studios waiting to meet Courtney but she never got the chance. She told Howard some stories about what Courtney was up to off camera and it sounded much better than what they showed on MTV2.
Howard started to talk about the Emmys some more before taking another break. He brought up Tom Hanks and how he's got the Midas touch with everything he does these days. After taking another break Howard gave a quick plug for tonight's E! show which features Summer Altice and the ''It's Just Wrong'' game.
Howard said over the weekend he had a life altering experience. He said he was walking down the street behind a woman who had a great body but when she turned around, Howard said her face looked like a bomb had hit it. Howard went on to talk about how great it would be to have a ''butter face'' contest. They would have women with hot bodies but bad faces come in with bags on their faces. Then they'd judge them and crown a Miss Butter Face and send her out on tour. Artie and Robin brought up a couple of celebrities that could compete in that contest. Robin mentioned Goldie Hawn and Artie brought up Sarah Jessica Parker from ''Sex and the City.''
Howard got back to Tommy and asked what he's been doing. Tommy said he just got off the Ozzfest after a few months of that. He said he was also offered the chance to tour with Aerosmith starting in December. He said it's nice to be home and sleep in his own bed for a while though. Tommy told Howard that Mayte dances in his show at one point. Howard said that Rob Zombie does that with his girlfriend also. Howard talked about how Rob Zombie was supposed to get married but he sent out a hand written note telling Howard to forget about that note. Howard said he heard Tommy is also engaged. He said that's true. He's been dating Mayte for over a year so he seems to think that's about the time to get married.
Tommy said he shot a reality based TV show like The Osbournes while he was on the road. He said when it started out he'd get aggravated with the camera crews but as time went by he forgot that they were there. Then he realized that he said some stuff about people, like Pamela Anderson, that he doesn't want shown on TV. Tommy said one morning he woke up and walked around in his underwear when he noticed a camera guy lurking around in his room. The guy said he was told to get some shots of him in the morning. Meanwhile, Tommy is walking around with a morning stiffy. Tommy said he decided to go with a one hour special instead of a series that drags on for weeks. The show, ''Tommy Lee: The Naked Truth'', airs on VH-1 tonight at 11pm. Tommy said that they got some good shots of Mayte in the show.
Howard wrapped up the interview after giving Tommy a couple of plugs for the show. He went on to say that it should be good as long as Tommy tells the truth during the show. Robin said that's what's wrong with the Anna Nicole Smith show. She said that they're making up too much stuff on the show now and she's losing interest.
Howard played some clips of Conan O'Brien's monolog and pointed out how bad he is at doing monologs. Howard again said that he did fine with the bits he put together though.
Howard said Conan pointed out how Conan gave ''The Sopranos'' a plug during the Emmys so everyone probably tuned out and over to HBO. The guys all talked about how great that show is for a few minutes. Howard went on to talk about Michael Chiklis from ''The Shield'' who was on the Emmys last night. Howard said that show is one of the reasons that ''Son of the Beach'' is going away. He played a quick clip of Chiklis crying as he gave his acceptance speech.
Howard then moved on to Tom Hanks and how lucky he is with everything he touches. Howard mentioned Oprah Winfrey and said she looked pretty good on the show last night. Howard went on to talk about all of the ''nice'' black people again also. He played a couple of clips of Oprah making a speech and goofed on that for a short time. He went through a few other celebrities and then wrapped up his Emmy discussion.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Joe about whether or not he's banged any of the chicks on the show. He also asked him if he's banged any other famous chicks. They went over that for a short time before Donna Desanctis called in.
Donna finally butted in and told the guys that 50% of the members in the club are female. She rattled off some other statistics too before getting to her complaints about ''The Sopranos.'' She said that they want to know why there aren't more Italian Americans portrayed on other prime time TV shows like ''The West Wing'' and ''Law and Order.'' Howard told Donna that there really is a mafia so there's no reason not to have a TV show based on something like that. They went back and forth with her for about 15 minutes but they couldn't get through to her. She even admitted that she watched last night's episode of ''The Sopranos'' but she only did it to see what it was she was complaining about. Howard also gave her a plug for the web site for the Sons of Italy. You can check that out at OSIA.org
Howard spent some more time with Joe and took some phone calls. High Pitch Erik called in and asked Joe if he could go up on stage with him at the comedy show he's doing tomorrow night at Carolines in New York City. Of course Howard told him he should avoid letting Erik on stage because he won't leave. Erik also had a new phony phone call that he did so Howard played that. This time Erik called a party store and told the guy that he inhaled some helium and it ruined his voice. He threatened to sue the shop owner but the guy fought back and ended up yelling at Erik. He even told him to go right ahead and try to sue him. Howard played a couple of other calls that Erik has made recently and Joe seemed to enjoy them. He was laughing and gave the party store call a 9 out of 10 rating.
Another caller brought up this award show that Joe is supposed to host called The Doobie Awards. That led to everyone talking about drug use and some of the experiences they've had. They talked about smoking pot and using all kinds of other stuff. Howard said he can't even smoke the stuff they have these days because it's so strong.
Howard took a call from Wendy the Retard who was playing the part of a woman who had been using extasy for 40 years. Howard goofed around with that for a while and even got her to say that Joe Rogan had raped her. He's done that on many occasions with other guests.
Howard spent a couple of minutes talking about some of the stuff they have coming up on the show in the near future. He mentioned the ''It's Just Wrong'' game and explained it to Joe Rogan. For those who don't know, this week Howard will have brother and sister teams competing for $10,000. When a brother gets the answer to a question wrong, the sister has to take off an article of clothing. Howard said they're going to have the brother taking off the sister's clothes. Joe said that they should make them make out or something like that. That got Howard thinking and now he's thinking of offering the couples an extra $5000 to make out. The guys started throwing out other ideas like having the brothers and sisters giving oral to each other and stuff like that. Howard said they might wait until they have the mother and son teams on.
After taking another break Howard spent a few minutes talking to Joe and taking some phone calls before getting to Robin's news. One caller said that he saw Attorney Dominic Barbara fall in the water at the dock where he was about to get into his boat. The guy had loaded up his own boat when he saw Dominic walking down the dock. As he tried to step on to his boat he fell in. The caller said Dominic was floundering around yelling for help in the water. Howard and Robin wondered what he was wearing and what he looked like after falling in. The guy described it all to Howard and he thought it was pretty funny. He wished that the guy had a video camera to catch it all.
Howard took a call from one of the brothers who is coming in later in the week. He wanted to find out if the guy was willing to make out with his sister. The guy didn't even know he was going to have to remove his sister's clothes himself so the kissing thing really freaked him out. The guy sounded pretty freaked out by some of the stuff Howard was suggesting. The guy said that he and his sister did tongue kiss when they were little kids. Howard then asked him if he'd let his sister sit on his face bare bottomed for $1000. They went through a few other bizarre things and tried to find out how far the guy would go. They asked him if he'd have sex with his sister for $1 million. He said he wouldn't but they might do some other hijinks for the right money. Gary came in and told Howard the game should be taking place on Wednesday. He's putting it all together but can't do it tomorrow like Howard wants. Howard said he wants to do it around 7 or 7:30 that morning.
Another guy called in who said he wants to bring his mother in for the next version of ''It's Just Wrong.'' Howard and the guys tried to find out just how far he was willing to go. They asked him if he'd Bukkake his mother for $1000. He said he couldn't do that so Joe asked him if he'd shoot one off on her hand. They went on with the guy for a couple of minutes before putting him on hold to set him up for the next game. Howard then moved on to Robin's news.
Howard said when FX canceled ''Son of the Beach'' they had a secret meeting and discussed how they were afraid that Howard might not ever promote a FOX program ever again. Howard said he wasn't thinking about that but now he is. He may just stop promoting stuff for them now.
Howard took a call from a guy who saw last night's ''Fear Factor'' and said that Howard was right about Gena Lee Nolin being fat. The guys all spent a few minutes talking about that. Howard said after guys see that they know not to get married because their women will start eating and puff up like she did.
Shuli called in and said that someone who is hot is Summer Altice who was featured on last night's E! show. Shuli also asked Howard what it is that makes a woman change into a ''Mrs. Dell'Abate'' (Gary's wife). Howard explained what happens when a woman gets married and gets resentful. He said marriage is like a security blanket to some women and the don't want to work. They want the guys to do all of the work or hire someone to do the work for them.
Howard changed subjects and said that Gary Garver found actress Rae Dawn Chong and asked her a bunch of questions. Howard said most of them were boring but he asked her about whether or not she'd date Howard. She said that now that Howard is divorced it's kind of creepy and she wouldn't want to date him. Howard said he knows he's creepy but he thought he was creepier when he was married. He talked about that for a short time and ended up talking about how creepy he was when he watched Summer Altice get changed last week. Sean the White Rapper called in and asked Howard about his relationship and some other stuff but they ended up talking to him about his own weird relationship. Gary started to talk about it but Sean asked him not to talk about that because it might get him in legal trouble. Howard got kind of annoyed with Sean so he ended up hanging up on him.
Shuli brought up this new reality TV show that CBS is putting together called ''The Real Beverly Hillbilies'' where they're taking real people from the mid-west and sending them to Beverly Hills to see what happens when they're exposed to that. Howard and the guys spent a few minutes talking about that before moving on to another caller who said Howard changed his mind for his last radio contract so he might do that in 3 years when his current contract is up. Howard said he's not lying and he's really going to be done with his radio career in 3 years.
Howard took a break and read some e-mail after that. He ripped through a bunch about guests he's had on the show lately. Some people didn't like Tommy Lee and another person said they were surprised at the e-mail Howard got about the Courtney Love interview. That person said they thought it was a great interview, one of the best Howard has done in a long time. Another e-mail said that Joe Rogan has become a pussy lately because he wouldn't bad mouth anyone during yesterday's interview. He's become ''Hollywood'' Joe Rogan. Another e-mail mentioned yesterday's drug discussion and how Joe Rogan was saying how much he likes Extasy. The writer said they have a big drug problem in Seattle and extasy is a dangerous drug that they don't need to promote.
Howard said the Courtney Love and Houston interviews will be on this Thursday and Friday. Howard spent a short time discussing the surgery that he thinks the girls had.
Howard brought up BetOnSports.com again today. He said that they have a bunch of things about him that you can bet on. You can bet on whether or not Beth will leave him or marry him by the end of the year. There's a bunch of other things about show business that you can bet on there also.
Yesterday Howard played a clip of the woman who was arrested for smacking around her child as she was buckling her in her car seat. The woman, Madelyne Toogood, made a statement about her daughter being taken away from her but said ''...she's been took away...'' which Howard and Artie goofed on. They played it again today and goofed on her for a short time. They also talked about these Irish Travelers which Toogood is part of. Robin had some info on them so she shared it with the guys and they goofed on her a little more.
Howard said he was reading ''Live From New York'' again. He said that everyone on the show hates Chevy Chase. He read that even the newer casts hate him after he's done guest appearances. Robin said she's got to get the book now that she's heard some of the stuff that Howard has read.
Howard talked about Luciano Pavarotti getting his wife pregnant again. He's 66 years old so Robin wondered if it's really his kid.
Robin mentioned female body builder Nicole Bass as someone who needs a make over. Howard went on to talk about how she's in court because she's suing the WWE. She claims that she was groped and stuff in the locker room while she was wrestling for them. Howard said she looks like Nick Nolte and doesn't understand how such a huge woman would let guys grope her.
Robin wanted to know what type of phone Dennis was on because it sounded so odd. He said it was just a cheap K-Mart phone. Howard wondered why he'd use something like that because he's ''Dennis Rodman.'' He said he doesn't talk on the phone at home that much anyway.
Howard asked Dennis if he had any bitches there with him. There weren't any there but it led to a discussion about having chicks over and kicking them out after you ''tap that ass.'' Dennis said you don't hug and kiss the chick while watching movies, you just tap that ass and kick them out. Howard asked him how you can kick them out though. Dennis said you just tell them ''I'm done... whatever'' and they leave.
Howard spent a short time talking about the ''Celebrity Daredevils'' show that Dennis is on tonight. It also features Angie Everhart lighting herself on fire and Lorenzo Lamas jumping a motorcycle. Dennis said he's driving a car off a cliff. Howard figured they trained Dennis how to do this stunt but he claims that they haven't. He's jumping 350 feet off the cliff.
Howard discussed some of the legal problems Dennis has been having. Dennis said a woman is claiming that he took her home from a bar and raped her or something. Dennis said that he doesn't even know the woman who is making the claim. He said it's just a civil lawsuit so it doesn't even mean he'll be doing jail time.
Howard and Robin asked Dennis about this new girlfriend Dennis has. Howard asked if he's cheated on her yet. He didn't give a straight answer though. He said that he's got 2 kids with the woman already. Howard talked to Dennis about that for a little while and found out his kids names are Trinity and DJ (Dennis Jr.). Howard said he's surprised he didn't go with some African names.
Howard asked Dennis if he's going to go play for the Lakers. Dennis said he's just going to relax and deal with his restaurant and stuff. The place burned down but it's been rebuilt.
Howard wrapped up the interview and gave Dennis another plug for tonight's ''Celebrity Daredevils.''
Howard killed some more time after taking a break before Devin Devasquez came in. He played tape of Gary Garver interviewing Dr. Phil but that didn't last long. Gary asked him 3 questions and he refused to answer them. The final blow was a question about Dr. Phil having an itchy rectum.
A caller brought up how some DJ in Seattle is always bashing Howard's show out there. That led to Howard talking about his clones for a while and how they talk about how he's old and the show isn't good anymore. Howard said he found out after Opie and Anthony were fired that they were like 42 years old so he doesn't know why they're talking about him being so old.
Howard and Robin Radzinski from E! talked about how great this week's E! show schedule is. Tonight is the second part of a three part show featuring Summer Altice and the ''It's Just Wrong'' game. Then on Thursday and Friday it's Houston and Courtney Love.
Devin told Howard that she's 39 years old which really surprised him. He said she looks 30. She also told him about how she was in the movie ''Can't Buy me Love'' and in a famous episode of ''Married with Children'' where she took her top off with her back to the camera. She said it started a whole campaign to get the show taken off the air.
Howard talked to Devin about these porcelain figures and tried to find out if she'd take off her top so he could compare them to the porcelain figure. She said she'd see how the interview went before doing that. She asked Howard to take off his glasses so she could see his eyes and then wanted to sit on his lap to give him a kiss.
Howard asked Devin about her past love life. He read that she went out with Prince years ago but she said he was kind of odd but cool. She said she dated him for 6 months but never saw him during that time. She said she wasn't really very sexual at the age of 21 so it was a kind of strange relationship. She also dated Sylvester Stallone when she was 24. She spent a short time talking about that with Howard. She told Howard that she didn't come into her sexual prime until she was in her 30s so she wasn't having a great time with these guys. She was saying that neither of those guys could really give her the big ''O.'' She said the guy that finally did it for her wasn't a celebrity. He was just a guy from Kentucky.
Devin asked if she could go over and sit on Howard's lap. He allowed it but announced that he wasn't going to do anything with her because his girlfriend's friends will all tell on him. She wanted to kiss him but he had to stop her. She told him that she would let Howard touch her boobs if he did something for her. She told him he had to do some charity thing or something but it went right over his head. Howard also asked her to show him her ass. He asked her to get naked for him but she didn't want to do it for some reason.
Devin told Howard she enjoyed sitting on his lap. She wouldn't take off her top though. Howard said they could give her a couple hundred bucks to do that but she wanted more.
Devin let Howard know that she used to wake up her last boyfriend with oral sex. The delay got hit at first so Howard had to explain it a little more. She said he cheated on her so they split up. She was engaged at the time but they still split. She asked the guys if they would ever break up with some woman who gave oral to wake them up. Stuttering John said he would but the other guys said they wouldn't.
Devin said she loves doing feminine things for her man and trying to please them. Howard asked her what she would do for him. She told him she was trying not to be ''easy'' by taking her top off for him right away. Howard asked her to show him something but she was holding back. She asked to go over and sit on his lap again. Howard let her come over and she finally took off her top to show her breasts. She even invited him to touch them. Howard said he couldn't though. Howard said he can't because people will tell his girlfriend about it. Devin claims that her breasts are real and Howard said they still stand up pretty well. She hasn't had any kids, that's why they still stand up. Howard broke down and said that people are going to tell on him anyway so he should go ahead and let Devin kiss him. He didn't do it but asked if he could see her ass. She never did show him.
Gary brought in a banana for Devin to demonstrate her oral sex technique on. Howard and the guys seemed to be impressed with her work.
Howard told Devin that she could come back on the show anytime. He tried to get her to show him her ass once again but she still refused. She really wanted him to touch her boobs and kiss her earlier but he had to turn that down. Stuttering John told him it's like he's married again acting like that. They said the reason he got divorced was so he could do stuff like that. Howard broke down and told Devin to get back over there so he could touch her boobs. Even Scott the Engineer came in and said that Howard is whipped. He said even he could touch her boobs but Artie figured out his scam and told him it wasn't working. Howard kicked Scott out and then touched Devin's boobs. Howard still held out on the kiss though. He said her boobs were very nice but had to hold off on the kiss because he knows that Beth's ex-boyfriends will be calling her and giving all the details about what happens.
Howard took a couple of phone calls and one of them was Wendy the Retard. Even the retard knew that Howard had to cooperate with Devin to see her ass. That's what she was holding out for. Howard said that Devin is uptight about her ass and that's why she won't show it. The guys said that Devin said that she just wanted Howard to touch her boobs but Robin said she wanted the kiss too. She ruined it for them by backing her up on what she said.
Devin told Howard that she'd show her ass but only to Howard. She said she'd let him spank her. Howard gave her a couple of whacks and got to see her ass. He said it was perfect.
Howard took a couple more phone calls and then tried to get Devin completely nude. She said she'd already broken her own rules about showing anything today. Howard wrapped up the interview and gave her a couple of plugs for the porcelain figurine and her web site DevinDevasquez.com.
Howard took some phone calls to kill some more time. One guy called in and said he called the Trim Spa people to get the pills to lose some weight. He's heard Cabbie plugging the stuff all the time so he mentioned that to them. The people at Trim Spa apparently told him that Cabbie is always hanging around there and they can't get rid of him. Howard said that sounds about right and it's pretty funny.
A few people called in and told Howard he blew it with Devin. He could have made out with her and stuff but he blew it because of his girlfriend. Howard said that he doesn't want to blow it with Beth. He said she gets into a funk when her friends call her up and tell her what a skunk he is on the air. He doesn't want that so he didn't kiss Devin. Howard said it's really hard to have her friends tuning in and calling her with all of the details from the show. He said it's a big pain in the ass. He knows that these ''friends'' of hers are just trying to get in her pants by getting rid of him. He doesn't think she even knows that though. He wanted to drop the whole thing so he moved on to porn star Mary Carey.
Howard had Mary talk a little bit about her porn career and some of the stuff she's done so far. She hasn't had anal because she's apparently holding out for her boyfriend.
Howard had 10 questions for her to answer. She could only miss 3 out of the 10 before getting her head flushed in the toilet. Howard said they're basic IQ questions they pulled from somewhere. Here are the questions and answers:
Howard took a couple of phone calls before getting to Robin's news. One guy said that he had the perfect solution so Howard wouldn't have to quit radio. He told Howard to just buy his own radio station, get rid of Tom Chiusano and those guys and he'd have it made. Howard said he'd never buy his own radio station and that wouldn't solve all of his problems anyway. Another guy called in and brought up something that Howard and the guys had talked about yesterday. They mentioned that some Japanese women give oral sex to their sons so they can concentrate on their studies. The guy was trying to defend the Japanese and wondered where they got this info. Benjy said it's something that's documented that they've read but the guy still yelled at them until Howard hung up on him.
KC came in and said he wanted to know who these people were who showed up to see that stuff live. Howard spent a little while talking about the show and taking some phone calls about it.
Howard brought up today's game of ''It's Just Wrong'' that they'll be playing. He said this time they'll have brother and sister teams playing for $10,000 but the brothers will be undressing their sisters when they get questions wrong.
After taking a break Howard said he got a lot of e-mail complaining about him not going for it with the Playmate, Devin Devasquez, that was in yesterday. He ended up talking about the soft-core porn that she's in. He watched some of her video after the show and beat himself up over the whole thing. Howard said he managed to get to Beth first yesterday to tell her about what happened before her friends could. Luckily she was up in Toronto working and her friends couldn't get in touch with her. Howard said he told Beth that he really wasn't interested in Devin. Howard said that Devin somehow got his home number and called him. He says that he doesn't know how she got the number either. Howard said he told Beth all about Devin. He said that David Spade even sent him a note telling him what a pussy he was for not doing anything. Howard read some of the e-mail he got about the situation too. Fans are upset at him for not doing anything with Devin who obviously wanted him to touch her and kiss her. Guys were calling Howard names and complaining about him being such a pussy whipped douche bag.
Howard took a call from a guy who had an ''F, Marry, Kill'' game for Howard to play. He gave Howard three characters from ''Son of the Beach'' and Howard had to choose which one he'd F***, Marry or Kill. Howard said he'd kill Jamaica St. Croix, F*** Porcelain Bidet and Marry BJ Cummings. Then the guy gave Artie Howard's daughter's names, Debra, Ashley and Emily. Artie said that he was wisely going to avoid answering that question. Howard said he was wondering how Artie was going to handle it and he did just fine.
King of all Blacks called in and told Howard he should put a hidden microphone on Gary and feed him some lines where he'd refuse to do stuff his wife asked him to do. Howard ended up telling King to leave him alone and hung up on him.
Another caller told Howard he had 3 Nielsen ratings books and wanted to know if Howard wanted them. Howard told him he can't take them but he should make sure to mention the E! show and ''Son of the Beach'' in the books. Howard went on to talk about the cancellation of ''Son of the Beach'' and how FX is replacing it with some lame show called ''The Burbs.'' Howard said it doesn't make any sense that FX is getting rid of the show because it's their number one rated show. Howard said they told him that they need ''bigger hits'' over there.
Azael wanted to get started off camera but the director demanded that he start off on camera. He said it wasn't going very well at first because he was so nervous. He said that the first woman just jumped on him in bed and that's not the type of guy he is. He said he tried to get going for about 2 hours and nothing was happening. He said during the test footage they shot he didn't have a problem but for some reason they couldn't get him going this time.
Azael said they're going to try it again since he wasn't able to get it going this time. KC brought in this woman Sissy Sweet who is just 22 years old. She just got started in the business and claims that she was able to get Azael going at the shoot. Azael said she did get him going but the other women didn't do it for him. He said that they may try doing it again today sometime.
Howard found out that Sissy lost her virginity at the age of 13 so he spent some time talking to her about that. She lost it at the zoo so Artie ended up doing his redneck impression for a minute. Sissy said she lost it to an 18 year old she was working with at the zoo. Sissy said this thing with Azael was her first attempt at porn. Howard said she's pretty hot and wondered if she really wanted to do this for a living.
Another one of the porn stars said she lost her virginity to her sister! She told Howard about how that happened and how they messed around after that once in a while. She had some other stories to tell about taking her mother to a swing club and stuff like that. Howard sounded pretty fascinated by her stories so he spent some time with her. She said that she used to pray that she'd get raped when she was younger.
That girl and her step-sister were in the porno together and they offered to demonstrate some of what they do for Howard. The started kissing and Howard started to wonder what was wrong with Azael since he couldn't get aroused seeing that stuff. The two girls were really going at it according to Howard.
Howard ended the segment and gave plugs to all of the girl's web sites as well as the SexualWorldRecords.com web site. Here are the rest of the sites: SissySweet.com, BisexualBritni.com and VicciValencorte.com
Howard said he was watching ''American Idol'' from Las Vegas and a football game on Monday night. He said Kelly Clarkson introduced Reba Mcintyre and it was the gayest moment on TV. Howard said that Reba is almost bald now. Robin said she almost looks like a guy. Howard let the clip play on with Reba singing for a minute but it was so bad that he had to cut it off.
Howard took a break and came back with the couples. He spent a short time talking to each couple and then got right to the game. Howard would ask each brother a question. If he got it wrong he had to remove an article of his sister's clothing. They were only allowed 3 articles of clothing. The last sister with clothing on wins $10,000 courtesy of RisqueVideo.com. It's just wrong! Here are the questions Howard asked:
Gary said that Ken could win an Xbox video game system if he took both hands and ''honked his sister's horns.'' Pam wasn't up for that though so they took that off the table. Pete said he'd like the Xbox but Jamie didn't want it. Howard offered them another $500 if Jamie would let Pete ''honk her horns.'' Jamie said she might allow it if Howard upped the money a bit. Pam said that she'd do it for the extra $500. Howard said he'd throw in both the Xbox and the extra $500 if they did it. They agreed to it and Ken stuck his hands on his sister's breasts. He had to hold them there for 5 seconds. Ken said his wife is probably at home packing all of his clothes. Pam said that she's had a lot of people touch her cans since she got her implants but most of them have been women. Gary said he thought that Ken gave her a little extra at the end of that feel.
Gary had another $500 to offer courtesy of iWon.com to Jamie if they did the same thing. That was a total of $1500 for them if they did it. Jamie said she'd do it only if Pete looked in her eyes as he did it. They did it and won the money. Howard said he'd had enough of ''It's Just Wrong'' by this time. They watched the replay of Pete and Jamie while Jamie said ''Oh my god!'' over and over as it was played back.
Howard said that last week's edition of ''It's Just Wrong'' airs on the E! show tonight at 11pm. That was good but this game with the brothers and sisters was going to be even better.
Howard said he was done with this stuff but then said that he had more money if the teams would kiss each other. Howard offered additional money but none of them would take it. He then offered more money to let one of the sisters get spanked by their brother. Howard said he had $2000 more to offer. The couple's said that they just couldn't do it. Ken said Pam might lose her job if she does something like that. The other couples also turned it down but Pete sounded like he was ready to do it. Jamie said she just couldn't do it.
Gary had one last thing to offer. He had $3000 for one of the couples if they had an idea that they'd like to see. No one could come up with anything that they wanted to see though.
Stuttering John thought it was odd that the girls would let their brothers touch their boobs but wouldn't kiss for $3000. Howard wrapped up the segment after that and congratulated everyone on their winnings.
Artie and his girlfriend Dana will also be playing. It will be Howard and Beth, Robin and Mr. X and Artie and Dana.
They're all putting up $1000 per couple and the winners will take home the grand prize. Artie and Dana have only been going out together for about 8 months now. Howard has been dating Beth for over 2 years. Robin and Mr. X have been together on and off for the past 10 years or so.
Gary came in and said that they may be able to play this game as soon as this Friday or sometime next week. Howard said he had to check with everyone about it first. Stuttering John said he just called Beth and she was in the middle of a fashion show so she couldn't talk.
Mr. X was back on the phone so Howard spent a little more time with him. Mr. X insulted Howard at one point when he joked about him not being able to get modeling work, even on halloween, like his girlfriend can. Howard said that means he really has to beat the guy in this game. Vinnie Favale from CBS also called in because he put together the game and will be hosting it. He told Howard that he got the rules off a web site and the game is all ready to go. Howard told Mr. X they'd be playing next week since he wasn't able to talk to Beth about it this morning.
Howard took a break and when he came back he took a bunch of phone calls and played another new High Pitch Erik phony phone call. Howard said he's pretty good with the calls he's been making so he may have found his calling. Howard played the new call where Erik calls a bar and complains to the owner that he was kicked in the balls the night before by some ''red headed bitch'' and he needed someone to come over to his house to pull his balls from his ass. Howard said that Sal the Stockbroker is selling the calls on his web site HorseToothJackass.com.
Howard and the guys also had a discussion about dogs. Howard said he really wants to get one but it would be too hard to keep it in the city. He was thinking of getting a bulldog and naming it Bianca. He thought that would be pretty funny to have an ugly dog like a bulldog named Bianca. All of the guys had suggestions for Howard as far as what type of dog to get. They suggested getting one of those tiny ''fru fru'' looking dogs but Howard said he knows there would be people taking pictures of him walking the dog and it would be all over the news. He also said he really doesn't want to have to pick up dog doody when he walks a dog. It sounds like he's going to pass on getting one for now. Vin the Retard called in and told Howard to get a Jack Russell Terrier but Howard said that's too small. Vin then told Howard he would be his dog if he wanted. Howard said his doody would be too big to pick up though.
After the break Howard replayed the new phony phone call from High Pitch Erik that he played late in the show yesterday. In this one Erik calls a bar and tells the owner that a woman kicked him in the balls and that's why his voice is so high. He tells the guy that he needs someone to come over and pull the balls down from his ass.
Howard talked about Dr. Phil for a short time. He and Robin have been talking about how the guy really doesn't do anything for these people he has on his show. Howard talked about what a scam that guy really is. He doesn't give good advice to the people he yells at on his show according to Howard and Robin. They goofed on the guy's accent for a while and moved on to other stuff.
Howard said he had a lot to talk about so he was changing subjects every couple of minutes. He brought up this Jazz musician George Winston who recently put out a CD (Night Divides the Day: The Music of the Doors) of Doors songs that are Jazzed up. Howard played ''Light My Fire'' and sang along to it. Howard also brought up another CD from Tony Danza singing like Frank Sinatra. Howard said he was going to come on the show to promote it but after talking about it he may not. Howard said there's no need for that kind of music. Howard played a track from that CD and goofed on it for a short time. Howard wondered why he would think it would do good for him.
Howard said his 9 year old daughter, Ashley, had her mom go out and get her the Kelly Clarkson single so he talked about that. Howard said that his daughter really doesn't know that all of the money that her mother spends on her is actually his money. Howard said that she doesn't understand that the house and everything in it was paid for by him. Howard said she thought that her mother paid for the house so Howard had to correct her and explained that he's the one who worked hard for years to pay for it. He said his oldest daughter also doesn't seem to realize that he's the one paying her bills. He said she recently told him he has no idea how expensive college is. Meanwhile, he's paying for it so he does know how expensive it is.
Howard was supposed to have the guys from Bumfights.com on the phone but they apparently turned themselves in last night so they weren't available to talk. Someone representing them, Matt, called in and said they really wanted to call in but they couldn't. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to Matt about the tapes and how he doesn't really think they're right but they're not much different than those Candid Camera-type shows. Matt told Howard that the tapes are still available on the site. Howard told Matt to have the guys call in when they get a chance.
Howard took a call from a guy who said he saw a report on some TV show where Summer was quoted about the fashion show thing. The caller also brought up a story about Justin Timberlake finally admitting that he went to bed with Britney Spears. They discussed that for about a minute and then got back to the Bum Fights stuff for a little while before taking another commercial break.
Later in the morning, around 7:45, Summer called in and told Howard she knew nothing about the quote. She said she didn't talk to any press after doing the show so she doesn't know where the quote came from. She said she doesn't think that her publicist would do something like that but she'd call her to find out. She said the quote was making her look bad too so she was going to find out what happened. Howard told her he wants to hold a press conference to straighten things out. She said she'll do that for him if he wants. Howard said he was going to put together the press conference and have her call in to do that at a later time.
Howard said he wanted to talk to this guy because he used to date Michelle Pfeiffer when she was really hot. Howard found out he dated her for 3 years and wondered why they broke up. Howard said once you get a little ''Michelle Pfeiffer stink'' on you, the other chicks start rolling in. Howard talked about how he would love to be with a woman who makes as much money as Michelle does. He said he'd love to be ''Mr. Michelle Pfeiffer.'' Fisher told Howard that they broke up when he wanted to move back to New York from L.A. Howard spent a short time talking to him about how they met and what happened to their relationship.
Fisher told Howard he loved ''Private Parts'' and he'd love to direct him in something. Howard said as long as the script is good, he's there. Robin said they're working on the next Superman movie so Howard said he'd love to play a villain in something like that. They spent some time on that but Howard wanted to get back to the Michelle Pfeiffer thing. Fisher claims that he never cheated on Michelle but once they broke up he was thrilled to be single and hooked up with a woman he worked with on ''Super Mario Brothers.'' He said there were reports that he was cheating on Michelle but they weren't true. Michelle is now married to TV producer David E. Kelly so Howard and the guys talked about that for a short time. Artie said he thinks that Michelle looks like she'd give good oral sex. Howard tried to get Fisher to give her a rating from 1 to 10 on the oral thing but he tried to change subjects. Howard also asked him if Michelle ever farted in front of him or went to the bathroom in front of him. Fisher just kept bringing up his movie ''Just a Kiss.'' Howard let him talk about that and some of the people who are starring in it like Marissa Tomei, Kyra Sedgwick, Marley Shelton and others.
Howard started to wrap up the interview after taking a call for Fisher and talking to him about some of the other projects he's worked on. Then Kristy Swanson called in to say hi to Fisher. Howard asked Kristy if she ever banged Fisher. She said ''no'' so Howard asked her if she would like to bang him. She said ''no'' again so Fisher sounded a little insulted. Howard asked Kristy what she was going to wear on the show today but she wasn't sure at that point. Howard tried to get her to wear something hot. Kristy called Fisher ''Fish'' when she first got on the air so Artie said they probably call him that because that's what he smells like after banging all of these chicks. Robin said that women don't smell like fish but Artie said they do where he comes from, New Jersey. Howard wrapped up the call a short time after Kristy called in.
After the call Howard announced that on tonight's E! show they have Benjy pleasuring himself to Houston the porn star. Howard claims that it was so gross that the E! censors actually threw up while watching it.
Howard played a couple of the new ones and they're just as good, if not better, than the ones he's done in the past. In one call he asks a talk show host if the West Nile Virus originated from Artie Lange's balls. In another call he calls in as Kelli Ripa and asks Suzanne Somers if she'd sleep with Howard Stern while she was on the Home Shopping Network. In another call Janks asks some talk show guys if they'd like to be tea bagged by Howard Stern. Of course they just try to avoid the question and move on.
Howard asked Janks what he thinks about these guys like High Pitch Erik trying to replace him. Janks said he doesn't look at it like they're replacing him. He said he enjoys them all and loves the Crank Yankers TV show. He said he'd like to get some of his calls on that show.
Howard played some of Janks' classic calls to remind everyone of the great stuff he's done in the past. They played the one where Janks pisses off Florence Henderson and this guy Jack so much that they went off on him for a good 5 minutes. Howard, Artie and Robin still laughed at the call even though they've heard it many times in the past.
Howard changed subjects and brought up the Bum Fights stuff that they were talking about earlier in the morning. He played a clip from one of the bum fight tapes and then did a few other things. He played the Top 5 songs in the country and threw in a few song parody clips with them. Howard then took a call from this guy, Erik the midget, who called in last week about Kelly Clarkson. The guy, who is disabled, is obsessed with Clarkson and Howard told him to get over it because she'd never even give him the time of day. Howard told the guy today that he needs to get some little slut to get a chick. Howard gave Erik some advice on how to get chicks. He told him to get some freaky stuff for his house to attract the freaky chicks. Howard told him to go down to a burn center to pick up a chick. Howard offered him another $500 prize for calling in and told him to use it to take out a chick from a burn center or a CP center. Howard also suggested going to a Weight Watchers meeting to pick up some fat chick. Howard told him what to say to some of these women to pick them up. He suggested that he go up to a woman and ask her ''Do you want some stinky midget love?'' and stuff like that. He also talked to him like a father should do. He told Erik to rip down all of the lame posters he has hanging in his room and act like a man. Howard said he could probably get this guy laid but he's probably not willing to go along with his suggestions. Howard wrapped up the call with Erik and gave him the $500 courtesy of ''That 70's Show.'' He also qualifies for the chance to fly out to the set of the show. Howard said if he wins that, the next thing he knows he'll be hanging out at the Playboy mansion with Mini Me.
Allison told Howard that she and some of the other women from the show were discussing him and his ''member'' not too long ago. Howard said that he was going to invite them down to measure him. Allison just laughed at that though. She told him he'd have to come out to the West Coast to visit them because they're so busy.
Howard spent a couple more minutes with Allison and then congratulated her on her Emmy win and got off the phone. Allison said that she will thank him publicly the next time she wins something.
Howard complained a little bit about how the director of ''Private Parts'', Betty Thomas, has also forgotten about him lately. Someone asked him to shoot a something for a tribute to her and he refused because she hasn't kept in touch with him.
Howard wrapped things up with Captain Janks who was still sitting in at this point. Janks said you can listen to a bunch of his calls over at KOAM.com.
Howard had Kristy come in and said that she looks like she really ''wants it'' in the pictures. He told Kristy that she looks kind of like Rachel Hunter but skinnier. He soon found out that Kristy has had some help with her breasts, they're implants. Howard talked to Kristy about why she ended up doing the photo shoot. She told Howard she was willing to do it as long as it was done the right way. She said that Phillip Dixon shot the pictures and did a great job. She said she knew his work from before and knew it would be good. Kristy said they were in Mexico for 4 days and did the shoot down there.
Howard said Kristy doesn't shave a lot ''down there'' and has quite a bit of hair. She said she didn't want the ''landing strip'' thing so she left it pretty full. Howard said it's not out of control but there is quite a bit down there. Howard also said the hair must be colored too because the hair doesn't match at both ends.
Howard brought up David Spade because Kristy dated him for a while. He asked her if she was hired to date him or something. He was just joking of course. She said that David is a great guy but they're better friends than lovers. Howard said Spade told him he's a dick for just dating one chick at a time. Spade is a player according to Howard.
Howard also talked to Kristy about her lesbian kiss with Jennifer Connelly and tried to find out some details about them practicing together. He couldn't stay off of Spade for long though. Kristy told Howard that Spade was a great lover so Howard wanted to know if he was the best she ever had. She didn't seem to want to answer those questions though. She just said ''Oh my God'' and laughed when Howard asked her those questions.
Howard asked Kristy about what her mother thought about the Playboy shoot and some other things about her life. She was busted for driving drunk when she was younger. Gary came in and told Howard the legal limit was like .10 or something like that and she was at a .24. Howard and the guys thought that was sexy.
Howard took some phone calls for Kristy. One woman called in and said she was looking for the Playboy with Kristy in it because she wanted to pleasure herself to her. Howard moved on and asked her about some of the other guys Kristy has dated. Howard mentioned a name that Kristy didn't recognize because Howard wasn't pronouncing his name the right way. Howard didn't get many details about that. He moved on and asked her about when she lost her virginity. She told him she lost it at 14. Howard asked her who she lost it to. He figured it must have been an older dude but she said it was another 14 year old. She said they're still friends to this day.
Howard asked Kristy if she's into sex toys and she said ''Yes sir'' which Howard liked. He asked her to call him ''Sir'' from then on. Howard took some more phone calls for Kristy. Robin noticed that Kristy was kind of nervous so she asked Howard to get her a bottle of water. Howard then let a few guys talk to her.
Jeff ''the Drunk'' Curro called in and ended up talking about his court dates for driving drunk and having drugs in his vehicle. Howard and Artie goofed on him for a short time. Artie did his impression of Jeff. Jeff said he ''rubbed one out'' to Kristy's image. He said hi to her but Howard got hold of his list of driving offenses and read them to everyone. Jeff apparently tried to elude police by driving through a corn field. He had a bunch of other minor offenses too as well as the drug charges.
Howard took a call from a guy who told Kristy to talk about dating Alan Thicke. He said she was under age when she was dating him too. She was only 17 and Thicke was over 40. Howard and the guys were surprised when they heard that. Kristy said that was a really long time ago after Howard asked her if Thicke turned her on. The caller said that Thicke even wrote a song about her.
Stuttering John came in and said the phones were going nuts with people calling in about the guys Kristy has been with. Some people were claiming that she broke up a marriage when she dated a hockey player. She said she didn't break up the guy's marriage but she did date him. There were also rumors of her dating Lance Bass from N' Sync but she said she never dated him. She went to a premiere with him as a friend but never dated him.
Howard couldn't get over the fact that Alan Thicke had Kristy. He said Thicke never let on about that conquest. Kristy said that she thought he did talk about that with Howard though.
Howard took a few more phone calls and more people had stories about Kristy. They quickly went through some of those and Howard somehow ended up talking to Kristy about getting a massage. She was talking about what she did last night and the massage was part of it. Howard tried to get every detail about what she did. He even asked her about her thong and if she's ever smelled hers after wearing it. She said she hasn't but she has thrown it against the wall to see if it sticks. Howard told her that he smells his own underwear to see what's going on down there.
Howard took a couple more phone calls before ending the interview. He gave her a couple of plugs for the Playboy thing and her web site OfficialKristySwanson.com
Stuttering John came in and brought up an article he read in which Charlie Sheen said some nasty things about Kristy. Kristy said she wasn't all that upset about it and didn't really feel that bad about it. John also told Kristy how great her Playboy shoot was. She told him he was really sweet for saying that. Howard wrapped up the interview a short time later.
Comedian Richard Belzer came in to hang out during Robin's news segment. Howard gave Belzer some plugs for his TV show ''Law and Order: Special Victims Unit'' which has it's season premiere tomorrow night. Howard spent a short time talking to Belzer about Yoko Ono having to sue someone for exploiting John Lennon which is just like what she has done over the years. Howard went over a few more things in the news, took some phone calls and then let Robin get to her news. Belzer sat in and commented on some of the stories she brought up.
Howard and the guys were talking to Artie about his girlfriend and how she'll probably demand that they get married. They seemed to think that Artie would never marry her and she'd leave him but then Artie made a statement that shocked everyone. He said that he was the aggressor in that situation and he may have mentioned marriage to her during their 8 month relationship.
Howard said the couples are all putting up $1000 each and there may be betting on the outcome at BetOnSports.com, the site Howard has mentioned on the show lately.
Robin's boyfriend, Mr. X, will be wearing a mask during the game so someone called in to ask Robin why that is. Robin joked that he's doing it for security reasons. She said there really wasn't anyway to say why he wants to keep his identity secret.
After Howard took a break he mentioned the Tony Danza CD he played the other day. Danza was supposed to do the show but he bailed out after Howard asked the question ''Why'' someone would put out a CD like he put out. Howard said guys who buy that are probably gay guys between the ages of 55 and 63 who were big ''Taxi'' fans. Howard played the CD, ''House I Live in'', again and goofed on it for a few minutes. Robin said ''Ohh... This is awful!'' after hearing a couple of clips. Howard was singing along and didn't sound all that much worse than Danza. Howard said ''...so he canceled...'' and Robin responded with a ''Good!''
Howard brought up tight end Jeremy Shockey and played a clip from the interview he did with him recently. During that interview Gary asked Jeremy if he thought there were gay guys in the NFL. Shockey said he hoped there wasn't and the guys goofed on him for a short time. Howard said he figured that would create trouble for him but nothing happened right away. Today Howard said it's all over the news. Some gay groups got a hold of it and have made a big deal about it. Shockey has had to apologize for what he said 2 weeks ago. Howard said Shockey's comments will follow him around for years to come. Howard said the guy also tries to turn it around and make it Howard's fault. Shockey said something about how Howard puts people in bad situations at early hours in the morning and that's why he made those comments. Howard said the unfortunate thing is that Shockey won't be allowed to call the show anymore and the blame has been turned toward him. Howard and Artie went on to goof on Shockey's southern accent a little bit. Howard also read some of the article from the Daily News and commented on that.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking about the upcoming Newlywed Game and some of the details of that. He took a call from a guy who wanted Howard to change the game so that the couples would be playing for listeners. Howard said he's not going to do that though, he doesn't want to muck up the game with more details. Howard then said that he's got a sponsor who is going to putting up $25,000 for a contest and he's thinking of doing a ''Celebrity It's Just Wrong.'' Howard said they will try to get some celebrities to play the game where they have to remove articles of clothing after getting questions wrong. They mentioned a few celebrities that they could use and then moved on to other stuff.
Howard talked about how good Pamela Anderson looks on the set of the ''Baywatch'' reunion movie. Robin said she just keeps getting better as time goes on. Howard and Robin discussed Pam's Hepatitis C for a short time and how they try to fight that crap.
Howard read an article about some tests they've done on small animals with the drug extasy. They claim that it negatively effected the animals for 2 to 6 weeks after they gave them 3 doses.
Beth asked Howard if Artie would know the answers to the same questions about his girlfriend Dana. Howard told Gary to get Dana on the phone so they could find out. The guys placed big bets on Artie and waited for Dana.
Dana was on the phone a couple minutes later. Howard told Artie to write down his answers and he'd ask Dana the questions. Howard asked Dana what she'd be wearing to the Newlywed Game next week. She wasn't sure so Beth said they'd talk later to figure out what to wear. Howard told Dana what the questions were while Artie wrote his down. Here are the answers:
Howard mentioned some of the stuff that Henry is famous for including the Lufthansa heist which Henry says was the most successful heist ever. Howard said he saw some movie about that heist and they made it seem like Henry slept with a guy afterward. Henry said he banged a chick with another guy but he didn't do the guy.
Howard asked Henry when he last drank Alcohol. He said the last time he was in New York was the last time he drank. He couldn't come in this morning because he was afraid of blowing his parole.
Howard quickly mentioned Henry's cook book and then took a call from a guy that was in prison with Henry many years ago. This guy Paul said hello to Henry and told Howard what he was in jail for back then. Howard spent a few minutes talking to that guy finding out about the scams they used to run and how they got caught. Paul also said that Henry is taking credit for some of the stuff he did and he's making a movie out of it. Paul said he's also working on a movie about this stuff and he wants Henry to tell the truth from now on. Paul said that Henry has been lying and even during the interview he was laying about being gay. Paul claims that he was the guy in the threesome and he ended up in Henry's mouth during that encounter. Paul went on to make other claims about what Henry has done over the years and it turned pretty nasty. At first it sounded like Paul was going to be nice to Henry but he wound up burying him and telling Howard all kinds of stuff about him. He made Henry sound like a liar and a homosexual.
Howard took a bunch more phone calls and wrapped up the interview a short time later. There were a lot of people who seemed to be happy that someone was saying that Henry was gay.
Howard had tape of the Governor of Kentucky crying during a press conference he made after getting caught cheating on his wife. He had a woman he was seeing on the side and somehow got caught. Howard explained the whole story and played tape of the guy crying. After listening to some of it he said the guy was really ''creepy.'' He goofed on the guy a little bit and did an impression of his strange speech. There was plenty to goof on so Howard spent about 15 minutes with it. The Governor broke down and cried on more than one occasion too.
Howard took a few phone calls to kill some time and then took another break.
After the break Howard spent some time talking about an article he read about a guy who went to a hotel room and saw what looked like a bug in a light fixture. He swatted at the ''bug'' and accidentally knocked down the light. The bug turned out to be a video camera. Howard talked about how many of these stories he's read about people doing stuff like this and how sick some of the video is. He said there are people videotaping women taking dumps and stuff like that and he doesn't want to see it. He went on to say that hot chicks try to keep that stuff secret because guys don't want to see that. Howard said if someone put out a tape of really hot chicks farting, he'd watch it because it's funny. He said he wouldn't find it sexy though. He said he would like to see hot chicks doing some stuff that they claim they don't do but not taking dumps.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking about the Jeremy Shockey story that he mentioned earlier. Artie said Jason made a good point when he said that Shockey was on the show on September 10th so the news story wouldn't break on September 11th. It took a couple of weeks before it really hit the news.
Howard changed subjects again and brought up something that he talked about recently. He said that he spoke to Shari Lansing from Paramount Studios and asked her why she never puts him in any movies since he's party of the company. She wondered which movies Howard could have been in so Howard got a list of the movies the studio put out over the past year or two. He started mentioning a couple of them but ended up getting in an argument with Gary about something he told him earlier. Gary had told Howard that some guy who wears the outfit of some baseball team mascot was gay. It turned out Gary was wrong so Howard went off on him for giving him bogus info. Gary told Howard to ''just move on'' with the show but Howard said ''F-you'' and continued to rip on him about how he could get sued over something like that. He goofed on Gary for a couple of minutes and made up some other fictional stories Gary could have come in with. He got off all of that to get to the hot chick that was coming in.
Aria had to explain how Mystique, which is a web based magazine, makes money. She said that they do have print issues available. Howard spent a few minutes talking to her about modeling for the magazine and about her life a little bit. He read that she's 24, she's been in Penthouse magazine and she was married once for 5 weeks. She said she was very young and really in love but things didn't work out. Howard read that she is currently dating John Fife, the guitarist for Marilyn Manson's band. She talked about that a little bit and said that they've been together for 5 months. Howard also read that Aria doesn't like having sex with women but she has done it for her boyfriend. She said she finds women sexy but she doesn't get off on them. Howard asked her how a guy should ask a woman to bring another woman into a relationship. She said you have to be really comfortable in the relationship but she wasn't sure of the best way to ask. Aria said that when she was with the other woman her boyfriend just watched most of the time.
Howard continued to question Aria about getting it on with other women and said that he was getting aroused talking to her about it. She said she eventually broke up with the guy that had her with the other woman and she hasn't been with any other women since then. She went on to talk about how she took a bath with that woman and some of the other stuff they did. Howard asked if there were any toys or vegetables involved in the sex. She said ''no'' to that.
Howard gave a plug to this 5th anniversary thing that Mystique is doing. You can check that out at ModelSafari.com.
Howard read that Aria was sent to rehab at 12 after her mother found her lying in her own vomit one day. Aria said she was drinking the cheapest stuff out there at the time. She said she was drinking Ripple and other cheap crap like that. She claims that she had a C-cup by that early age too. Howard asked her when she lost her virginity but that she didn't want to talk about. Howard asked her how old the guy was who took her virginity but she wasn't really sure about that. Howard kept trying to get the age out of her but she just wouldn't break down and give it.
Howard took some phone calls for Aria. One guy said that she did some great amateur stuff before doing the professional stuff. He said that's better than any of the stuff you'll pay for. Howard took a call from Jeff ''The Drunk'' Curro who was fully aroused when he called. He said he was pleasuring himself to her voice as he was talking on the phone. Another caller said that Aria likes to put her hands really far into ''a bad place'' but she said that was more of the amateur stuff. She said she doesn't do that anymore and she didn't do exactly what the guy on the phone was talking about.
Howard took a break and then got Mike Walker from the National Enquirer on the phone so they could play the Gossip Game. Mike heard Howard talking about the movie thing earlier and said that Howard has had offers to produce movies for MGM and other studios. Howard said that's true and he has a couple of movies in the works that he's producing but he's not starring in them. He wants to do a movie in which he stars but doesn't want to write them like the studios are requesting.
Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to Mike and then got to the game. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
