Howard complained about the traffic mess in the city that he experienced yesterday. He said it was a nightmare getting around the city and he doesn't understand why things are such a mess. Howard and the guys also talked about how there are a lot more homeless people on the streets since Mayor Giuliani left office.
Howard read an article about how President Bush knew ahead of time that terrorists were going to attack last year. Howard says that the reason no one did anything is because everyone is lazy. Howard and the crew discussed this for a little while. Howard said no one will be fired for not doing anything. Howard said what they should do is kick Bush out of office and put Mayor Giuliani in office.
Howard moved on to talk about the NBC tribute to ''The Cosby Show'' that was on last night. Howard said he learned what everyone on that show has been doing for the past 8 years... eating. He said they've all fattened up a bit in the past few years.
Melrose Larry Green called in and told Howard that Stuttering John was mentioned in a sketch on Saturday Night Live this week. Howard said the bit wasn't funny and he already knew about it. Melrose also had tape of Rosie singing on the ''Survivor'' thing from last night. He played the clip and Howard complained that she'd ''hijacked'' his show and ruined it. Howard ended up hanging up on Melrose as he usually does.
Howard said he couldn't stop thinking about Jolene Blalock over the weekend. That led to the guys talking about Howard and his girlfriend and their strange behavior over the weekend. They went to see Stuttering John's wife's new play ''Birdy's Bachelorette Party.'' She put that together somehow so the crew went to see it. Howard said they handed out vibrators during the play and he was telling everyone he was using it on his girlfriend. He had to cut the discussion short so he could take a break so he left everyone hanging for a few minutes.
Howard came back from break and told the rest of his story. He and the rest of the crew ended up talking about how Gary got drunk at the play and puked all over the place. Gary said it wasn't ''all over the place'' though. He said he threw up in the bathroom... in the sink because someone was in the stall when he went in there. He said he hadn't eaten all day and he drank too much. That's why he ended up puking. Someone snapped a picture of Gary where he has a little bit of puke on his shirt and they're talking about putting it up on HowardStern.com. Howard seems to think that whenever Gary gets away from his wife he parties. He thinks that he can't stand being with his wife and that's why he's always out partying when his wife isn't around. Gary says he doesn't party whenever he's away from his wife though.
Chaunce Hayden (SteppinOutMagazine.com, ChaunceHayden.com) was also at the play so he called in to talk about it. Howard said Chaunce sent a letter where he talked about the top 10 things that he noticed at the play. Most of it was about Howard so he went through the list with Chaunce. Then Howard got sidetracked because Chaunce had written an article about John Stamos. Chaunce interviewed Stamos and Stamos claims that Howard is a liar about the whole Rebecca getting naked at his apartment thing. Howard said he wasn't even the one who brought it up on the air the time that they talked about it. Howard said it was John who told the story so he doesn't know why he's saying he's a liar. Howard said he thinks that John is mentally ill and now he doesn't want him in his life because of this accusation. Howard said John forgets that he has pictures of Rebecca topless in his apartment and now he's thinking of showing them to someone to prove that he's not a liar. He said he might show them to Robin to prove it. He said he had no plans to ever show them to anyone but now he may have to do that.
Howard also quickly talked about the vibrator thing he started to talk about earlier. He said it wasn't that big of a deal but he and his girlfriend were in a corner playing with this vibrator that was handed out during the play. He made it sound like it wasn't as big of a deal as the other guys were making it out to be.
After taking another break Howard said some of the guys told him how Scott DePace from E! kissed Benjy on the lips as he was leaving the play on Friday night. Scott said it was just a fake kiss because Benjy leaned in like he was going to kiss him. Howard goofed on Scott for a couple of minutes and called him gay a few times before moving on.
Howard went on to read a bunch of e-mails he got after the E! show aired featuring Cabbie and Stuttering John's fight press conference. A lot of people think that John is going to get his ass kicked because Cabbie is so crazy.
Jimmy said he doesn't know what the show will be yet. He's going to give up ''The Man Show'' and poor Adam Carolla isn't going to have him to work with anymore. He won't be doing the show with Jimmy.
Jimmy told Howard his new show will start on Super Bowl Sunday next year. He wants Howard to be his first guest. The show is going to be an hour long. Howard said it's smart for ABC to get rid of ''Politically Incorrect'' because it was a horrible show.
Howard guessed that Jimmy will be making about $2 million for the show and Jimmy said that's about right. Howard also asked him if he gets a guaranteed payout in case the show gets canceled. He said he's all set on that stuff. He said he thinks he'll be okay even if he's only on the air for 9 weeks.
Jimmy said he's got to do ''The Man Show'' until August and then he has to work on FOX football coverage until a week before he starts this new show.
Jimmy told Howard that ABC approached him about doing this show and the guys who came to him are guys that listen to Howard all the time.
Howard and Robin both think that Jimmy will be divorced pretty quick if his show takes off. Jimmy has been married since he was 19 so it might be time for a change. Robin told him to get out quick because he's going to be making big bucks soon. Now is the right time according to Howard and Robin.
Vinnie Favale from CBS was sitting in this morning and a phone caller brought up Rosie O'Donnell's awful singing on the ''Survivor'' thing last night. Jimmy Kimmel said something about how awful Rosie was which led to everyone talking about how Jimmy probably won't be able to get any guests or he'll have to kiss up to all of the people he doesn't like to get guests.
Howard gave Steve a plug for his uncensored video ''Don't Try This At Home'' that's available at SteveoVideo.com. He then let Steve O do his stunts. He first did a beer shot off of his forehead. He put beer in a shot glass, laid on his back, picked it up with his knees and licked it out of the glass like a dog. He then did a nostril beer bong. He stuck a tube up his nose and drained a beer up through his nose. He then took an earthworm and snorted it up his nose and hacked it out into his mouth and out. Dee was cheering him on the whole time.
Steve then said he's reinvented this trick where people eat lightbulbs. Dee took her top off for the trick because she rolls a pool ball off of her rack and onto Steve's forehead where the lightbulb is sitting. She did that and the bulb smashed. Steve then took a piece of the bulb and told Howard that most people don't prove that the glass is sharp... as he sliced the letter V into his tongue. Howard begged him to stop over and over again but Steve just kept doing it. He then chewed up the glass and chased it down with some Jack Daniels.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to Dee. He found out that Dee has gotten banged by Henry Rollins so he spent a short time talking to her about that. Then Howard heard that Dee was badmouthing his next guest. She was saying something about her not being all that hot. The woman, Mandy, is the sister of the bassist from the band KoRn. Mandy came in and had a few words with Howard but then she walked out when John Stamos called in.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Stamos about this interview he did with Chaunce Hayden. He told John he doesn't want to be friends with him anymore but John defended himself saying that his comments were taken out of context. He claims he never said that the story was a lie, it was just exaggerated. Howard ended that call after a few minutes and moved on to talk to Mandy.
Howard also heard that Mandy goes out and finds hot chicks in the audience for the guys in KoRn. She said on the last tour it wasn't that great because all of the guys were married at the time. This tour will be different because almost all of the guys are not divorced.
Dee and Steve O were still in and Howard wanted one of the girls to tell a sexy lesbian story but neither one was talking. Howard threatened to spank Dee if she didn't tell a story. She ended up on his lap with her pants down while Howard spanked her. She never did tell a story and Howard was running late so he had to take another break. He only spent about 10 minutes with Mandy before wrapping up the interview.
Vinnie told Gary that he'd actually take Gange over him in the fight. Gary couldn't believe it though.
Dominic Barbara called in and said he'd pick Gary. Howard agrees with him but they didn't have time to take bets today. Howard had to get to the news so he spent a couple more minutes talking about this under card fight and let Robin do her news.
Howard said that they'll be talking to magician David Blaine tomorrow. He spent a short time talking about all of the women Blaine gets and how that's all he wants to talk to him about tomorrow.
Howard said they were talking about the upcoming Stuttering John vs. Cabbie fight and Gary said that Producer Sam Simon thinks that Stuttering John might be in trouble. He seems to think that he's going to get beaten by Cabbie. Howard started to think that they should call off the fight. That won't happen though. John was in the studio and told everyone that he knows he can hurt Cabbie. He's been training and thinks he's going to beat Cabbie. He's been sparring against his trainers but the guys in the studio think that Cabbie is out for blood and the trainers aren't. John said he did 9 two minute rounds yesterday so he thinks he's got quite a bit of stamina that Cabbie might not.
Yesterday Gary and Mike Gange agreed to fight each other at the fight next week. Gary said that General Manager Tom Chiusano is telling him that he can't fight because he has to produce the show that day. Gary argued with Tom about it so now Tom is ''thinking about it.'' Tom came in and Howard argued with him about whether or not the two of them are going to fight.
Howard somehow ended up yelling about how Dick Cheney is saying they can't stop terrorist attacks that may have in the future. Howard said if you can't do the job then don't take it. He went on and on about President Bush taking a 4 week vacation so early in the first year of his position. Howard thinks that it would have been a completely different thing is Mayor Giuliani had been president. Howard said they should fire all of these people if they can't do their jobs.
Howard got back to Tom and told him to make this Gary vs. Mike Gange fight happen. Tom kept saying that he doesn't think it's going to happen. Howard said that KC can produce the show instead of Gary.
Tom told Howard that KC called him at 9:40 last night to tell him something important about the upcoming fight. KC says that they have signed Lori and Reba the conjoined twins will sing the National Anthem. The two are joined at the head and have been on the show in the past. The two of them try to have separate lives and do different things in their lives even though they're joined at the head. Howard said one of them can sing while the other boxes Tom. Gary thought that was pretty exciting news.
Mariann from Brooklyn, who sang at last year's Cabbie fight, called in with a new song. She told Howard that this news has made her very happy because she can't compete with conjoined twins. She screeched out her new song and Howard told her that wasn't even close to a song.
Howard was also told that Wendy the Retard and Gary the Retard may sing a duet together as well as the HowsYourNews.com retarded singers.
Howard spent a little time talking about how he's been eating strawberries quite a bit lately. He also got into how he's been working out with a 60 pound backpack on. He claims he did 130 lunges with the backpack on and a bunch of squats. He said it's working his ass and it's actually getting rounded back there. He said his girlfriend gets to enjoy it and that's all that counts. He said she's told him that his body is good enough to model. He made sure to tell Robin ''not my face..'' when he mentioned the modeling thing. He ended up taking off his shirt to show Robin his upper body. He said he knows that he has a feminine quality about his body but if he poses just right it looks pretty good. Robin agreed with him when he struck the pose. Robin mad fun of him a little bit too. She said he looks gaunt. He said that's how he gets the six-pack stomach though.
Howard also played tape of Beetlejuice the dwarf talking about how he thinks Crazy Cabbie is going to beat the crap out of Stuttering John. KC came in and read some of the strange bets that are being set on the fight. They have all kinds of side bets like whether or not someone will hit the other fighter with a low blow, whether or not one of them will quit before the fight is over and a bunch of other things.
The guys also spent some time talking about Gary and Mike Gange fighting. Cabbie called in and said he thinks Gary is going to kill Gange. A bunch of the other guys think that Gange will lose too because he gets winded so easy. They said that he gets winded just walking the hallway.
Cabbie and John went at each other again while Cabbie was on the phone. They continued to argue over the usual nonsense. John was making fun of Cabbie for not having parents and being bi-sexual. Howard said Cabbie told him that when he knocks John out he's going to pull out his penis and lay it on John's face.
A few people called in to talk about who they think will win. Attorney Dominic Barbara thinks that Cabbie is going to beat the crap out of John while Gay Ramone thinks that John is going to kick some ass. One of John's trainers called in and said he's willing to take some action on him. He's already got a bunch of huge bets on John and he wants to take $10,000 from Dominic Barbara. Dominic called in and accepted the bet. He's also got $10,000 with Howard.
KC told Howard that Gary came up to him yesterday and said he was really concerned about John. Gary came in and said he really is worried about John getting his ass beaten by Cabbie. Howard said he's going to be pissed if John loses because he's got $10,000 riding on him. Robin has $1,000 riding on John herself.
Howard played tape of Larry King interviewing Rosie O'Donnell on his show recently. In the interview Rosie talks about how her 5 year old son went up to a fireman, pulled on his coat and told him he was sorry that his friends died. She claims that the fireman started to cry when the kid did that. Howard said he doesn't believe a word of the story though. He thinks she's making it all up. Howard said he was creeped out by the way Larry King asked Rosie when she knew she ''liked the same sex.''
Howard read a letter he got from someone who had a younger brother who suffered from a mild case of Cerebral Palsey. The guy wrote that his brother was a huge fan of his and they shared a lot of good times watching the E! show together. Unfortunately the guy's little brother committed suicide by drinking anti-freeze. The guy just wanted Howard to know how much his brother enjoyed the show. He apparently left an audio tape saying that he was going to go out while listening to Howard.
Howard moved on to talk about this guy Will who works for them doing research. Howard said when he was 16 Will had Hodgkins disease but survived it. Will wrote Howard a letter and Howard ended up calling him at home while he was on the air. Howard said most celebrities wouldn't respond to a letter like that but he did. Will said that he thinks that helped him get through this cancer battle. Howard read the letter to let everyone know what Will said to him. He called Howard ''god-like'' in the letter so Robin thinks that's why he ended up calling him. And now Will works for his hero's show. Howard patted himself on the back for doing that and moved on to other things.
Howard had a list of what Mike Tyson spent money on back in 1997. He had a huge list of stuff that Tyson spent money on including $400,000 in pet care bills. It was obvious after reading the list that Mike is being ripped off by a bunch of people.
Howard read a bunch of e-mail they've gotten lately. There was one guy who was pissed at Howard's review of the new ''Star Wars'' movie but Howard defended his review saying that there was no plot and the acting by Hayden Christianson and Natalie Portman was horrible. He said it was two wooden performances. He said he loved the special effects and the last half hour of the movie but the rest of it was a waste of time for him. Stuttering John came in and said he loved the whole thing.
Howard had some e-mail from a few people about how great the show was without Artie Lange being in yesterday. Artie is out in L.A. all week so he won't be on the show at all. Howard thinks that it's only a small amount of people who don't like Artie on the show though. He said he's met a lot of Artie fans.
Howard killed some more time taking phone calls. Someone brought up Howard's divorce so he spent some time talking about that. He said his father actually took it worse than his mother did. He said his dad was really bummed when they got separated. Howard said it's still kind of weird because sometimes he thinks he's still married. He said when he sits down and talks about the kids with Alison he forgets he's divorced. He said he has invited Alison to do things with him because he doesn't think that he'd be uncomfortable seeing her with another man. He said he still finds it weird to see her with her new husband but he knows she's happy without him. Howard said he is happier in some ways but still sad that the divorce happened. He said he was looking at an old photo album recently and had to walk away because it was upsetting him to see all of these memories. He said he really misses Alison's friendship. He told everyone that he's working at his new relationship with Beth to make sure he doesn't screw it up. He said his years of therapy are helping. Howard said he's learned to listen to Beth when she has a problem. He said he wouldn't do that with Alison. He still claims that he will never get married again or even live with another woman. He said they have their own separate apartments and that's the way he's going to keep it.
Robin said that Howard is still the same Howard he's always been. She said she's seen him the same way in the past as he is now and he really hasn't changed even though some people think he has.
Howard took another break and let Robin do her news while Bill Burr sat in. Bill is appearing at Caroline's comedy club in New York from June 6th to June 9th. Check out BillBurr.com for more info.
Howard spent a few minutes talking about magician David Blaine and the wacky stunt he's been doing for a day now. He's standing on a small platform 100 feet above the ground with nothing to hold on to. He's going to do this for 36 hours and then jump off 80 feet into some cardboard boxes. Howard said Blaine will call in later in the show to promote his special ''Vertigo'' which airs tonight. Howard said he got a call from model Angie Everhart last night and she was hanging out at the David Blaine thing. She told Howard she's known David for years and she was just there for support. She told him that there were tons of hot chicks down there. Howard told her he's already got a girlfriend so he doesn't need to hang out down there.
Gary came in with some Stuttering John fight news. He said that John is out sick today so he might be working himself too hard training for the upcoming fight against Crazy Cabbie. Howard said he's told John to calm down with the training a little bit. Howard said he has this fantasy that John is going to surprise everyone and beat Cabbie. Everyone talked about the fight and how they're all curious to see what happens. Howard said he really gets freaked out at these boxing matches when two guys are beating the crap out of each other.
Zolar called in to talk about the E! shows that were on last night and Monday featuring Sharon, Jack and Kelly Osbourne. He was talking about how cute Kelly is even though she's a little pudgy. He mentioned her ''DSL'' (dick suckin lips) among other things. Howard asked Zolar to keep a little quieter when he's at this fight. He's the guy who yelled constantly during a couple of Howard's live events. Howard said it's hard to broadcast over his yelling. Zolar said he realized that in Vegas so he's not going to let that happen again.
Howard's buddy Ratso called in from the David Blaine thing. He said it's obvious that it's not a trick and Blaine really is standing on top of this platform. Howard spoke to Ratso about the book he's writing about David Blaine. He asked him if they're going to talk about all of the women he's banged. Ratso said that it's going to be a serious book about his magic and the history of magic so there won't be any chicks mentioned.
A guy claiming to be a magician called in and said that David Blaine really is standing on this platform but he's got a feeding tube and a diaper to go to the bathroom in while he's up there. He also said that Blaine is somehow shackled up there so he won't fall.
Howard played a few phony news clips from The Onion that were pretty funny. They sound like real radio news reports but they're just goofs on strange news stories. He said he'll be playing some on the show once in a while.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who wanted predictions on tonight's ''Celebrity Boxing'' which airs on FOX. Howard got a call earlier in the week from a guy who witnessed the fights so Howard knows the outcome already. He went through what he knew from that guy and told people who didn't want to know to tune out. He said that Manute, Screech, Darva and Joey all win their respective fights... according to the guy who called in the other day.
Howard ended up talking about the latest news about how terrorists will eventually get hold of nuclear weapons and use them here. Donald Rumsfeld made this announcement and Howard thinks that the whole administration should be fired for saying things like this. Howard said that they're just scaring the crap out of the whole country doing things like that. He went on to make suggestions on what we should do to keep people out of this country and get rid of some that are already here.
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Tony and figured he must be slow. He sounded kind of retarded to Howard and he found out he didn't graduate high school. He asked Tony how many states there are in the U.S. Tony said ''twenty five.''
Howard eventually got Tony to wake his mother up so he could talk to her about this strange stuff. The mother was apparently happy that he made $500 doing the video. She told Howard that her son is very smart. Howard then asked her to guess how many states he guessed were in the U.S. Her guess was 52 so she was wrong but closer to the correct answer than her son. Howard also asked her what she looks like. She said she's 5'2'' tall and weighs 200 pounds!
Howard took a couple of phone calls from people who wanted to yell at him and goof on him. Howard then wrapped up the interview and said you can get this video at WorldsGrossestTVVideo.com or TonyVirtue.com or AEV.com
The feed finally started working about 2 minutes in so Howard spent some time talking to Blaine. He said he has about another 17 hours to go and his back is numb and his legs are numb already. Howard continued to tell everyone what this stunt involves. Howard said the pole is 90 feet high and the platform is 20 inches in diameter. He's standing there for almost 36 hours. There's nothing under him right now so if he falls he either dies or gets hurt severely. Blaine said that since he can't feel his legs at this point the fall tonight is going to be dangerous. He said he may not be able to take off correctly. Robin said that when you stand like that the blood pools in your legs which is what has happened to him already.
Blaine said he's jumped into cardboard boxes from 40 feet and got whiplash and fractured a rib.
Howard brought up the call he got earlier where another magician said that Blaine has a feeding tube. Blaine said he doesn't have one and he's been eating very little because he can't move his bowels up there.
Blaine swears that he's no attached to anything up there either. He said if he passes out and falls he's probably dead. Robin wondered why he does stuff like this. Howard also wondered because he gets so many hot chicks.
Blaine said that he's actually losing money on this stunt for some reason. He thinks he'll make up for it in the long run though. He's working on a book with Howard's buddy Larry ''Ratso'' Slomin.
Howard brought up the Angie Everhart story he told earlier and asked David how they knew each other. Blaine said they met in France when they were like 14. They met again at a gas station a few years ago and have remained friends since then.
Howard spent a few more minutes talking to David and taking some phone calls. He also found out that David's ex-girlfriend and singer Fiona Apple was there watching him. She was hanging out with Ratso so they got her to call in. She called in and Howard tried to find out how a couple, who were lovers at one point, remain friends. Fiona just asked Howard if he was serious. She couldn't believe that's what he wanted to talk to her about while David is standing on this pole 90 feet in the air. She called Howard annoying and didn't really want to talk about their relationship. David was okay with it until Fiona said that David was the one who broke up with her. He said that she was the one who broke up with him but she couldn't believe that. Howard told her she was the angriest woman in the world. He eventually got off the phone with her after telling her to get in the studio to do a new album.
Howard thanked David for calling in and gave him a plug for his special that airs tonight at 10pm on ABC. Blaine also has a DVD out called ''Fearless'' that's available at DavidBlaine.com.
Howard continued to talk about the hot chicks Blaine has gotten. He said that's what Blaine should be writing about, not his magic tricks. Howard was amazed that all of these women that he's broken up with remain his friends. Fiona ended up calling back in. Howard thought she wanted to apologize for her behavior during the earlier call but she wasn't apologizing. She sounded like she was in a better mood but she still didn't understand why Howard found it so amazing that she remains friends with David Blaine. Howard told her why he found that so amazing and wanted to know how that happened. She never did give him an answer though. She wasn't sure what to tell him. Howard continued to try and get more info out of her but it wasn't happening. He tried to find out what she was wearing too but she threatened to hang up on him. Gary told Howard to ask her if she remembers the name of her second album because the title was ridiculously long. That was the breaking point for Fiona. She gave the phone back to Ratso at that point. Ratso asked Howard why he was torturing Fiona like that. He said he wasn't torturing her and ended up hanging up on Ratso as he went to a break.
A 19 year old guy came in to present Howard with a picture that he'd painted of him. Howard said that's never a good idea because they usually suck and he trashes them. He once got a painting that an intern's mother did and sliced it up with a knife with the intern watching. When the guy came in Howard said that he was black so he wasn't going to trash the picture. He said he's afraid of insulting him. The guy, Michael Mohammed, showed Howard the picture and he said it was actually pretty good. Robin didn't think it was all that great though. She said it was ''harsh'' and not that great. KC and Fred both said it wasn't bad though. Howard told Michael that he's got talent and should continue in art school. He spent a few more minutes talking to him about it but the guy ended up getting kind of bummed out. He didn't think Howard actually liked it and knew that he was just going to throw it away after he left. Howard told him he was going to put it in the office but Michael knew that was just code for trashing it.
Howard took a couple of phone calls after he was done with the painting guy. One woman said that her husband recently left her in a strange way. They went to a car dealership and the guy ended up leaving her there. He left with their car and dog and never went home. She just wanted to put the word out that she would welcome him home if he wanted to come back in the next day or two. Howard said the woman sounded like she was 89 years old even though she was only 32.
Another caller, a 20 year old, told Howard that he just lost his virginity the other day. He told Howard he had been holding out for ''love'' but that wasn't happening so he banged this chick he works with. He said they were fooling around and they did it with no condom. He said he thought about putting one on but it was too late and he'd finished. He said he doesn't know her history so he's kind of worried about what he might get. Howard figured he was worried about having gotten her pregnant but he was more worried about other stuff. The guy wanted to know how he should ask her if she's got any diseases. Howard suggested that he ask her if she's had any boyfriends drop dead. He also told the dude that he should wear a condom from now on no matter what.
Howard got back to Jon Hein for a couple of minutes and asked him about some more finale's like ''Friends'' and ''Survivor.'' Jon said that he thinks ''Friends'' jumped the shark a long time ago but the season finale wasn't all that bad. He said that a lot of the submissions he's getting at JumpTheShark.com are saying that ''Survivor'' jumped the shark when Rosie O'Donnell hosted the post-game wrap up the other night.
Howard said he went down to see Magician David Blaine yesterday and he said that Blaine had two big guardrails around him to hold on to if he felt like he was going to fall. Howard said he could do that too. Howard said Crazy Cabbie went down there too but ended up getting taken away by police because he was annoying everyone. Cabbie got a ticket but KC told Howard he was arrested. Howard had tape of Cabbie down there and you hear Cabbie on a megaphone getting kicked out of the park where Blaine's event was taking place. Cabbie ended up yelling in people's faces with his megaphone. Cabbie yells about being a veteran and how he has rights but the cops just take him away. KC wondered if Cabbie even needed the megaphone. Howard said he thinks it actually made Cabbie's booming voice quieter than it usually is.
Howard took a phone call from a guy who thought that the ''Celebrity Boxing'' thing sucked. Gary and KC both said it was something you had to see though.
Crazy Cabbie called in to talk about the David Blaine thing that he went to yesterday. He claims that Blaine was anchored to the pole he was standing on. Cabbie went on to say he wasn't arrested, it was just the ABC security guards who were hassling him. Cabbie claims that one of them tried to shove him down the stairs there so he turned around ready to fight and the guy got into a Karate stance. He thought that was pretty funny.
Howard talked about going down there himself. Blaine wanted to talk to Howard so they gave him a headset to use to talk to him. Howard and Cabbie seem to think that Blaine looks kind of like a terrorist but all the women they know like that look.
Howard said Cabbie has been able to do something he was never able to do. Cabbie is making extra money for doing live commercials on the station. Howard doesn't get paid extra for the live commercials he reads, they're part of his contract. Cabbie pointed out that Howard makes like $20 million though. Howard still thinks that he should be making extra for doing those commercials. General Manager Tom Chiusano came in and told Howard that Cabbie makes extra money for commercials he does for Trim Spa that air in other markets, not for the commercials that run on their station.
Howard said his girlfriend is going to L.A. This weekend for a wedding but he's afraid to fly now so he's not going. He said she's a little upset about it. Howard said he pictures himself having to wrestle with a terrorist on the flight and he doesn't want anything like that to happen.
She talked about what it's like living there while Howard asked her how many slaves her family owned. She said they didn't own any and it was more likely that Howard's family owned slaves than her family. Lisa told Howard they have to ask blacks what they want to be called in South Africa. Some want to be called Black South Africans while some prefer Colored. She said it's very strange.
Howard said that this woman was in to see the greatest radio broadcaster do his thing. When she heard that she said she never called him the greatest broadcaster. Soon after that Howard said she was a boring interview and wrapped up the segment. He was annoyed with her and bored with the stuff she wanted to talk to.
Kaylin ended up showing Howard her body after KC asked if they were going to show their private parts. After seeing her naked Howard said he felt like he owed her $300. Her ass was sunburned so Dave Chappelle asked how that happened. She said she was on vacation in a thong and she was very pale before she sat out.
Howard gave the girls a couple of plugs for their sites after taking a couple of phone calls from guys who wanted to know more. One guy asked if they will do anal. Kaylin said it costs $600 for that to happen. Gary also came in and gave the girls some prizes for coming in. He gave them each a case of Poland Spring water and a $500 gift certificate to LL Bean. KC asked the girls if they'd let a guy throw stuff at them and poke them with sticks. The girls agreed to that but then Howard started asking them about doing other weird stuff. The wouldn't like to vomit on guys or pee on them. Howard also asked if he could wipe a booger on their foreheads. They weren't too thrilled with that idea either. Howard wrapped up the interview after the booger question.
Howard ended up asking Joey if he'd be willing to fight female bodybuilder Nicole Bass. Joey said he would but a short time later Nicole called in and he backed off. He was saying that he'd fight her and beat her but when she called in and called his bluff, he backed off. Howard wanted to make the fight happen but Gary told him that Tom might make it difficult to put together. Howard flipped out and complained about Tom not helping out with the fights. Tom eventually came in and told Howard he was sick of his crap. Howard figured that meant that he was overworked and tired so he threatened to call the big boss Mel Karmazin to complain about him. Tom came back later and said he never said he was tired and overworked, he was just tired of Howard's crap yelling about him all the time. He said he'd see what he could do about setting up an under card fight. Howard felt a little better after that.
Howard had to take a break but he gave Dave Chappelle and Reverend Bob Levy plugs for the things they had to plug.
After taking a break Howard came back and continued his talk with Tom Chiusano. They somehow ended up talking about how Tom no longer masturbates. He'd spoken about it on the air one other time and Howard got the impression that Tom had given it up after his fight with cancer because of his religion. Tom didn't want to go there again so he just let Howard go on and on about what the thought. Tom said he never said he gave it up because of religion and his family has asked him not to talk about it on the air again. Howard continued to talk about it anyway. He eventually gave up on it and moved on. Dave Chappelle had to leave a little early to go do another show so Howard thanked him for coming in and took another break before getting to Robin's news.
Fred was also in a good mood. He had an announcement to make... His wife Alison is pregnant! Fred is going to be a father! Robin couldn't believe it and said he'll be a good father in a ''Munsters'' kind of way. Howard said he thinks Fred will be a good father. Robin said she's worried the child will turn out like Fred. Howard wanted to know if Fred will introduce himself to his child as Fred or Eric since he changed his name about 8 years ago. Howard told that story again to let people know just how wacky Fred is. Howard congratulated Fred about the news and Robin threw in her congratulations too but it was a few minutes late.
Fred says that he will never molest his child but Howard predicts that he'll kill anyone who looks at the kid the wrong way. Stuttering John came in and goofed on Fred a little bit himself. Like he's any more normal than Fred.
Fred said they're thinking of using James as a name for the baby if it's a boy. They don't really have a name for a girl yet. Howard looked at Fred and said that he thinks he's going to have a baby girl... and it will look like Fred. Robin suggested that if it is a girl, they name it Erica. Robin continued to goof on Fred so he started firing back making fun of her and how wacky she is. He didn't want to hear much of anything she was saying. Robin asked if Fred can relate to the world or people. Fred said he can relate to people better than she can. Robin said she's not having a child though. Howard said Robin wouldn't be a good mother but she knows enough not to go there. They think that Fred may have problems when the child has major issues and can't relate to them.
Howard took a phone call from a listener who complained about Robin giving Fred crap whenever he has a happy moment in his life. Gary came in and said that there is a bit of joy in Robin's voice when she makes fun of Fred. She just giggled and laughed at everything they were saying.
Robin said that Gary is a great father and she's never made fun of him about that. Howard said Gary puts him to shame the way he fathers his kids. Howard said he's had to go to psychotherapy to learn how to be a better father and most people can't afford to do that. Robin said she thinks that Alison will make a good mother even if Fred isn't a good father.
Jessica Hahn called in and said she thinks he'll make a great father. She also broke the news that she used to have a crush on Fred years ago. She never told him that though.
Some people called in and started giving Fred ideas for names. They also learned that if it's a boy they're going to have is circumcised even though Fred is usually against doing stuff like that. Fred said Alison wants to raise the kid Jewish so he would have to be circumcised.
Fred said they've been trying to get pregnant for about 4 years now. Fred is 46 and his wife is 40. Howard wondered why Fred didn't come to him earlier for advice.
Howard played a new ''Mr. Skin Minute'' where the guy from MrSkin.com talks about the latest movies and DVD releases that feature nudity. He said that J-Lo's new movie doesn't have any nudity but that's not surprising. He went on to say that the new movie ''Insomnia'' does feature nudity but it's an anonymous corpse. He said just pretend she's sleeping and you'll be fine. Mr. Skin went on to say that the video release of ''Crazy Mama'' features Cloris Lechman's ''droopers'' 53 minutes in. ''Vanilla Sky'' also shows Penelope Cruz's ''pink nosed puppies.''
Howard said he got to walk his dog Java in Central Park yesterday. He doesn't get to do that since his wife has custody of the dog. Howard said his assistant had to bring the dog into the city for some reason so he got to visit her for a while. Howard said that when his assistant Laura brought the dog into the city she took the biggest dump she'd ever seen. She didn't have anything to pick it up with but a total stranger pulled a bag out of his pocket and saved the say. Howard said when he was walking the dog she stopped and took another dump in the middle of a crosswalk. He didn't bother to pick it up... Some cars ran over it and flattened it out a short time later.
Howard spent a short time talking about the David Blaine special that was on the other night. He said that some of the tricks he did were pretty cool. He said he knows they're just illusions but they were still very good. He said the special was very well done.
Mike was coming in over an ISDN line this morning so his connection was very clear. Howard spent a short time talking to him about how he thinks Mike could be gay. They've had this discussion before but Mike insists that he's not gay. That led to Shana talking about how she and her girlfriends used to tickle each other when they were young. She said she didn't think that it was a lesbian thing, it was just tickling fun.
Howard moved on to play the game with Mike so here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
After the game Howard spent a little more time talking to Shana. He also played a clip of the next release from her album and said it sounded pretty good to him. He wrapped up the interview a short time later. You can find out where Shana is touring through her web site ShanaMorrison.com
Howard and the crew killed some time talking about the upcoming fight between Cabbie and Stuttering John. They also talked about the FOX ''Celebrity Boxing'' that was on the other night. Robin said she really enjoyed the show but she was kicking herself for liking it.
Howard had Gary give him some of the tabloid stories he's read this week to kill some more time.
Artie Lange returned to the show this morning after spending some time out in L.A. He said he got in the car from the airport this morning and the driver had the show on. Artie heard the whole story about Fred having a kid. When he walked in he joked that he was also having a baby.
Donald Trump called in to talk to Howard about taking a helicopter to Atlantic City next week to get down there for the fight. Donald said he's going to fly with Howard in the 'copter down there. Donald said everything is going great for the fight. He said the tickets were sold out before the box office even opened. Trump told Howard about this night club they have at the Taj Mahal called The Casbah. Howard is already making plans to go to the club after the show on Friday.
Howard said he pictures Trump living like The Jetsons. He said he pictures him working on the 50th floor and walking out to his helicopter to fly everywhere. He spent a few minutes talking to Trump about his girlfriend and about his other marriages. Trump told Howard how he made Marla cry on their wedding night too. Howard was at the wedding and made some comments to the press about how there wasn't a wet eye in the house and how he gave their marriage about 6 months. Trump said it made Marla cry on their wedding night.
Crazy Cabbie called in and asked Trump if he'd take a $100,000 bet on him. Trump said he can't pick a favorite because he owns the place where the fight is taking place. He said he doesn't know Cabbie either so he probably wouldn't bet on him. Then he thought about it and said he's already paying for Cabbie and John's $100,000 purse because this fight is costing him a fortune. Cabbie and John argued with each other for a few minutes before Howard wrapped up everything so he could take a break.
Howard pointed out that Eddie is really busy lately with a bunch of movies coming out. He's been in about 3 this year already. Howard also brought up some of the stuff that they spoke to Eddie about the last time he was on the show. Howard took some phone calls for him and let Eddie tell a few stories. He wrapped up the interview after about 20 minutes.
Howard had Gary read some more stuff from the tabloids to kill some more time. He also spent some time talking to Artie about his trip out to L.A. He shared some stories about working on ''Dirty Work'' with Don Rickles that were pretty funny.
Shuli was kind of creeping Howard out while he was in. Howard said he's good on the phone because he does his thing and he can hang up on him. Howard was wondering how he could hang up on him while he was sitting there. He did let Shuli play a game while he was in though. He had a ''Dingy Broads'' game where he gave quotes and dumb things that women have done and had the guys guess who said or did them.
