Howard spent a little time talking about how much he hates Mondays. He said he likes the ''cocoon'' feeling of the weekend when he doesn't have to work. When Monday comes around he gets the same feeling he did when he had to go to school as a kid. He thought about getting rid of all Mondays from his schedule and making every weekend a 3 day weekend. It was just a thought though.
A listener called in and asked Howard what some of the words he uses on the show mean. He uses Yiddish phrases on the show once in an while and some people have no idea what they mean. Howard gave the guy a quick lesson for some of his most frequently used phrases. Here are a couple and they're probably not spelled correctly...
Howard got to go to a big party over the weekend at Jann Wenner's home. Jann is the founder of ''Rolling Stone'' magazine. This got Robin talking about seeing some celebrity homes on an E! TV show. She saw Chubby Checker's house and a couple of others that she mentioned. Everyone talked about Chubby and his one hit wonder for a few minutes. Howard then got back to talking about Jann Wenner's party. He said he got there a little late so he wouldn't be the first one there. He saw Bono from U2 there but didn't talk to him. Howard said all of his buddies from work were out at Scores but he didn't want to miss this big party so he didn't go with them.
Howard said he saw Patty Smythe at the party and spent some time talking to her and her husband John McEnroe. Howard said he latched on to Patty and wouldn't leave her alone. Someone told Howard that Yoko Ono was at the party so he didn't want to run into her. Bette Midler said hello to Howard while he was hanging out and she was pretty cool to him. Howard said he was pretty much afraid to look around the room while he was there because he was nervous about the number of celebrities there. Howard complained about the amount of food that was offered to him at the party. He said all they had were small egg rolls to eat.
Howard continued to give Robin the rundown of all of the famous people he met at the party. There really weren't all that many though. Howard wasn't having a great time at that party so he ended up going to Scores to have a great time. He started to talk about that but was interrupted when Tim Zagat called in to talk about the restaurants that have gone out of business since September 11th. Tim and Howard spent a short time discussing what has happened since then. Tim said about 30 restaurants went out of business after the tragedy but things are starting to turn around for the other restaurants in the city. People are starting to go out more and there's some special deal going on where they're offering special deals for lunch and dinner around the city. Howard said the new ''Zagat 2002 New York City'' guide is out now. You can find out which restaurants were rated best by New Yorkers.
After that call Howard said he was going to avoid talking about the anthrax news that's filling up the newspaper this morning. That didn't work though. He and everyone else in the studio ended up getting into a discussion about it and the other stuff that's going on in the news. Debbie Schlussel from WorldNetDaily.com called in and threw in her comments for a few minutes also.
Howard finally got back to his Scores discussion. He went there after the Jann Wenner party and it was kind of late. All of the guys were already drunk or drinking so Howard had to catch up. The bartender told Howard that everyone was drinking ''Orange Motherfuckers'' so Howard had a bunch of them to catch up to them. He said he doesn't know what was in them but he had 8 to 10 of them. He went on to talk about what happened at the party. It was a birthday bash for Scott Einziger and Ronnie the Limo Driver. Howard heard that Scott's fiancee Maya held her own ''spite party'' while he was at Scores. Howard said he told Scott not to worry about it and to let her go bang as many guys as she wanted to. Howard quickly wrapped up the story telling Robin that he didn't get home until 3:30am and had a massive hangover the next morning.
Since Carl is a dentist he asked for some advice for Gary's giant caps. Carl checked out Gary's big teeth and Howard pointed out how gray his gums appear. Carl agreed and said that they can be fixed but they'd have to redo all of the caps. Howard let Gary go after a short discussion about his caps. He then got back to Carl and what went on while he was in Africa. Carl said he did get a free trip to Africa and he got to take some pictures while he was there so it wasn't that bad. He said he also lost 18 pounds while he was there because he had diarrhea from the nasty water they had to drink. He told Howard he wasn't in the game for the money. He did it for the challenge and the trip.
Howard took a couple of quick phone calls for Carl and wrapped up the interview a short time later. He didn't spend all that long with the guy but that's because he had very important things to get to... Breast exams!
Howard had her come over to him so he could examine her. She took her top off and Howard saw a scar on her chest. She said she had open heart surgery when she was very young. She had a hole in her heart when she was born. Howard quickly got to examining her breasts. Fred played the honking horn sounds as Howard felt her up... I mean, examined her breasts. He said he thought he felt a lump in there but he wasn't so sure. He advised her to go see a doctor to do a real check.
Nicole started to talk about how her father killed her mother and then he died 3 weeks later but she's not sure why. Howard said that story was similar to Christopher Titus' story so he had him come in to talk about his story. (see below)
Christopher Titus got to talk about his f'd up life a little bit while Nicole was telling her stories. Howard seemed a little more interested in Nicole though. He continued to ask her about how much she makes doing lap dances and stuff like that. After Nicole told all of her stories Howard wrapped up with her and sent her on her way.
Howard finally got around to talking to Christopher Titus and his TV show ''Titus'' which airs on FOX Wednesday nights at 9:30pm starting November 14th. Titus told Howard the story about how he got the TV show. It sounded like a very confusing mess the way he told the story. While he was telling the story a phony phone caller told Howard about the go-go bar that Nicole dances at. He told Howard that the girls at the club will do all kinds of sex stuff with the customers. Nicole came back in and told Howard none of that was true though. It turned out the guy was the same guy who asked for the Xbox earlier in the show.
Howard got back to Titus' stories. Titus told Howard about how the show has gotten great ratings since they started airing it but FOX keeps moving it around so it's hard for them to keep an audience. It'll be airing after ''The Bernie Mac'' show when it moves to Wednesday nights on November 14th. It'll be up against Jason Alexander's new show ''Bob Patterson'' so Howard told him he shouldn't have a problem getting ratings.
Titus said that Howard once said that he thought his show had a laugh track. Howard said he'd never seen the show but apparently he had seen it and made that statement about the laugh track. Titus said he actually spoke to Howard on the phone after that and tried to tell him there was no laugh track. Howard had no idea who he was at the time so he didn't remember the conversation. The whole point of the story was to let Howard know they film the show like a play in front of a live audience so there really isn't a laugh track.
Howard took a few phone calls for Titus and most of the callers were telling Howard how great the show is. Stacy Keach plays Titus' father on the show and everyone agrees he's great in that part. Robin said she loves him as the father. A few of the calls were about strip clubs so it was an odd collection of calls. Howard ended the segment and told Titus that he will check the show out because everyone is saying how great it is. Titus said that it's ''laugh-out-loud funny'' and wanted to bet Howard that he would laugh out loud when he watches it.
Howard then told Robin that he carved pumpkins with his 8 year old daughter over the weekend. These are all things he says he didn't do in the past when he was still married. He told Robin about carving the pumpkins and how he never did it before. He did some traditional carving along with some new 3D stuff that he'd seen at some guy's display in a mall. Howard said he also helped his daughter out with her homework over the weekend. He said he actually ended up doing her book report for her.
Artie and Howard were talking about the terrorism alert that went up yesterday. Artie said that he was supposed to go to the Yankees game tonight but his cousins are all backing out of going with him. Howard said they should give him the tickets so the guys from the show can go.
Howard said he spoke to his mother about this high alert and she thinks that the terrorists won't do anything else to New York because they've already done something there.
A listener called in and asked some questions about why Howard doesn't play Fred's music on the show. Howard said he just doesn't know the music that well and Fred doesn't tell him if he's doing new stuff. He's appearing in some new vampire movie and he hasn't mentioned anything about it. Fred said even he doesn't know when some of the stuff he appears in will come out.
Robin was on ''Who Wants to be a Millionaire'' again last night and Stuttering John came in to make fun of her for looking kind of dopey on the show. Melrose Larry Green called in with tape of the show but Howard wanted better quality. Unfortunately Gary's TiVo stopped recording 37 minutes into the show and Robin's satellite crapped out before the show started so she missed it also. Unfortunately Melrose had the tape so we had to suffer through the crappy quality over the phone. Howard was a little upset that he couldn't stop the tape to talk about each segment. Melrose was annoying Howard with his comments during the call too so that upset Howard a little bit. Howard got so fed up with not being able to stop the tape that he just gave up and said he'd wait for his own tape. Howard was upset that his own staff couldn't get the show taped for him. Stuttering John doesn't have a VCR so he can't record it. Howard suggested that some of the E! staff record some of this stuff each night but that doesn't happen either. Meanwhile, Melrose Larry Green, is taping everything and he doesn't even work for the show.
Melrose also had tape of Mary McCormack talking about Howard on Craig Kilborn's show last night. She just said some nice words about Howard... nothing that fascinating.
Howard went on to play some tapes that he had sitting around. He played tape of a psychic defending his profession. Howard thought it was pretty amusing. Howard also played tape of Larry King interviewing singer Jewel on his show. Jewel claims that one of her songs has become somewhat of an anthem for New York but Howard didn't have any idea that it was an anthem.
Howard played a bunch of song parodies that he's gotten lately. He also played a song that Christian Slater's father Michael DeGainsboro sent in to him. He sang the song without music and Howard thinks he can turn the bad song into a hit if Fred puts some music behind it.
Howard was saying how much he hates the smell of garlic on people's breath. Bill told him that if you don't want to stink like garlic while you try to fight off anthrax, you can try oregano. He said you have to use the oregano oils they sell in health food stores, not the chopped up spice you have in your kitchen. He said that will fight off anthrax just as well as garlic does.
After Bill's call Howard went on to goof on Mariah Carey a little bit. She got a standing ovation on some show Howard saw so he and Artie started goofing on some woman who interviewed Mariah and went nuts goofing on the interview.
When Howard read about this he said it's exactly what we should do to these hoaxers. He backed up Catterson today and agrees that this guy has to be made an example of.
Catterson is also in charge of the Lizzy Grubman case so Howard spent a short time talking about that with him. Catterson also reminded Howard that he's up for reelection next week. You can find out more about him at co.suffolk.ny.us.da.
After the call Howard spent some more time on Mariah Carey. He told a story about when she did the show when they were at the MTV Video Music Awards one year. He thought that she was interested in him and that he could bang her. That never happened but now that he thinks about it, he could have had a hot, crazy chick. Howard actually did have a hot, crazy chick when he was younger but they just quickly mentioned that during the discussion.
Another person up for election called in to get Howard's endorsement. Larry Horowitz is running for Westchester County Executive so he called in quickly. He told Howard he's a big fan of the show so Howard said he'd endorse him. It was that simple!
Robin told Howard that they need to decide who they're going to endorse for Mayor of New York City too. Howard said he's still not sure who he's going with. He said he doesn't know enough about the guys who are running.
Howard finally got his own tape of Robin's ''Who Wants to be a Millionaire'' segment that aired last night. He played the whole thing and was finally able to stop and start the tape as he pleased. Robin was the second to last person to play in the celebrity edition of the game. She was very slow in the fast finger portion of the show. Robin's final segment on ''Who Wants to be a Millionaire'' will air next Monday night.
Howard quickly mentioned a couple of things in the news before taking a break. He brought up how an episode of ''Seinfeld'' has been pulled from syndication. It's the episode where George's fiancee dies after licking too many wedding envelopes. The syndication company thinks that it's not appropriate to air something like that when people are so freaked out by the anthrax stuff. Howard seems to think that's kind of ridiculous... but FX pulled an episode of ''Son of the Beach'' in which they go after Osama bin Laden that aired last year. Howard said that he'll play parts of the episode on his show if FX won't air it.
Heidi filled Howard in on all of the details of prison life. She said she shared a cell with about 3 or 4 other women and they all had to share the same toilet. They weren't supposed to have sex in their cells but when you get 4 people in a cell something is bound to happen.
Heidi said she got in trouble recently for a parole violation. She told Howard that she had used some crystal meth because she was depressed. A short time later she had to give a urine sample to her parole officer and she ended up admitting that she'd used the crystal meth. She had to go to jail for 2 more weeks because of that.
Howard asked Heidi a few more questions about her DVD and plugged her other stuff for her. He then took a bunch of phone calls for her. Someone brought up the fact that she's dating actor Tom Sizemore. Another caller asked her if she lets the guy perform anal on her. Heidi said she doesn't do that and she's more of a prude than you can imagine.
Heidi also told Howard she had a bit of plastic surgery done on herself. The delay button was hit during that discussion so it's not clear exactly what she had done but she said she'd come in next February to show him.
Howard had also mentioned that his daughters had met Heidi at some event and they loved talking to her. She told them stories about stuff they've never heard about and they loved it. Howard said he wasn't sure he should let them hear it.
Howard has an intern working for him that lost his eye. He's been wearing an eye patch lately and Robin just noticed it the other day. Howard brought John the intern in to talk about how he lost his eye. Howard said it was in all of the newspapers when it happened. Howard spent a couple of minutes talking to him about getting a look going. John then told Howard how he was down in Miami earlier this year during spring break at some kind of ''drum fest'' at 3am or so. He and his friends were leaving but John had to take a leak in the parking lot. Two Cuban guys approached him and asked for a smoke. As he stuck his hand out the two of them started beating the crap out of him. He eventually threw one of them against a car and ran off. His friend decided to yell at the other guy so they didn't get out of there fast enough. John was then attacked by the guy he'd thrown against a car. The guy took a broken Corona bottle and gouged his eye out. John said he thought he was dead after that. He told Howard he was messed up for about a week.
Howard continued to talk about John's look and what he should do. One phone caller told him to get a solid color glass eye instead of a regular glass eye. Howard thinks that would freak people out too much though. Howard suggested that John wear shades and a good glass eye. Howard put the word out that he was looking for someone who knows how to make glass eyes move with the other eye. He wants to help John out with the chicks.
Howard moved on to other things after that. A phone caller brought up how Rosie O'Donnell's fat head was very noticeable during last night's Yankees game. Artie Lange, who was sitting in this morning, said that it was very distracting because she was constantly shoveling food into her mouth throughout the game. Howard was also complaining about the computer generated ads for ''Ally McBeal'' that show up on the backstop. Howard said FOX always pushes their shows that are ''tanking'' in the ratings during their sports coverage.
Howard got back to Rosie O'Donnell and her fat head. Stuttering John pointed out she wore a bright yellow shirt that screamed ''look at me!'' so everyone would notice that she's back in town. Artie said it looked like her kid was there with her to hold all of her candy and peanuts.
All of the guys were talking about the ball game and some of the other stuff that went on. They were talking about how all of these cops are singing at games and how good they are. Howard said if they keep doing that the cops are going to think they have a singing career and they'll end up leaving their cop jobs. Artie mentioned this bald eagle thing they do now too. A bald eagle flies from center field to the pitchers mound after the National Anthem. Howard thought it would be funny if they taught the bird to fly over to steal Rosie O'Donnell's peanuts.
Howard took a call from this guy Dr. Bob who is a microbiologist. Howard said he was calling in to talk about anthrax and how you can protect yourself from the bacteria. It turns out he was just selling his lotion. Howard had asked the guy if there is a big biological attack coming. Dr. Bob said yes but when Howard asked if a lot of people are going to die, he said ''no.'' Dr. Bob also said that garlic and oregano oil are not going to protect you from anthrax like the guy said on yesterday's show. He said those two things are good for you but they won't protect you... but his lotion and hand wash will. He was pushing his Micro-San hand wash and lotion which he claims will kill 99.9 percent of the germs and bacteria that you can pick up on your hands. He said it can kill the anthrax bacteria but not the spores. After the call Howard said Dr. Bob was supposed to say ''yes'' when he was asked about the many deaths from biological attacks question. Howard said it turned out all it turned out to be was a lotion salesman. If you're interested you can call 1-800-655-4551 for more info.
Howard continued to talk about the Letterman article he'd started earlier in the show. He continued to say that it wasn't Dave he was upset with. He was upset that he's not getting credit for keeping the country laughing while he was on the air during and after the September 11th tragedy. Vinnie Favale, who works for CBS and Dave, called in to defend Dave. He thinks that Howard has a problem with Dave but Howard insists he doesn't. He kept saying that the problem was that he wasn't getting credit for what he's been doing. Howard tried to get Vinnie to choose between him or Dave but Vinnie wouldn't do that. Stephen Baldwin also called in and bad mouthed Dave's show a little bit. He claims that they told him he ''wasn't ready'' to do that show after they canceled an appearance he was supposed to make. He also told a story about how he got a call from Dave himself after he'd said some things about him on Howard's show. Howard had to cut the guys off because he had the women from the Black Entertainment network waiting to come in.
Kym told Howard that she believes in the justice system and that OJ was found innocent so she believes that. Julissa, on the other hand, wouldn't say whether or not she believes OJ is guilty of the murders. She said it doesn't matter what she thinks and they had him on the show to talk to him about other things. Robin spoke up a few times telling them that OJ was a wife beater and asked how they could ask him about parenting tips on the show. They kept telling her that they weren't there and they don't know that he beat her. They also said that a lot of men beat their women and the only reason we care about OJ is because he's famous. It sounded like they were defending the fact that he beat his wife. They sounded kind of dopey to be honest. Howard went back and forth with the women for a while but nothing seemed to sink into their heads.
Howard took a few phone calls and most of the callers felt the same way Howard did. King of all Blacks called in and agrees with what Howard and Robin said. He also admitted that he beats his girlfriend. That was a surprising development. He said he just beat her last week because she took his car instead of her own because hers was dirty.
Howard continued this for about a half hour before ending the fun. He plugged their stuff and wrapped it up. Kym has her own web site at KymWhitley.com. You can find out more about their show over at BET.com/OhDrama
After that discussion David told Howard how VH-1 flew him out on a private jet to do the Concert for New York. He was on the plane with Meg Ryan, Mike Myers and John Cusack. Howard tried to find out if Spade hit on Meg on the flight but Spade was kind of evasive with his answers. He told Howard he didn't get her number but that was about it.
Howard tried to ask Spade a bunch of stuff about his personal life but Spade doesn't talk much about it. He just cracks jokes instead of answering honestly. Howard said Spade would be more interesting if he just answered the questions honestly and spoke about his personal life. Howard knows Spade likes to date and he admits that's why he can't keep a girlfriend for long.
Gary came in at one point with a quiz that would show how ''sleazy'' they are. He asked them a crapload of questions about drinking and using drugs to find out how hardcore they really are. Then he asked them sex questions about stuff they've done or not done and it was supposed to show how sleazy they were. Most of the drinking and drug questions were avoided by Spade. Howard would answer them honestly but Spade would just joke about them and avoid answering them. He said that he's on a network show and he doesn't think he should talk about some of the stuff that Gary was asking about. They were just questions about what types of drugs they've used and how drunk or stoned they've gotten in their lives. The sex questions included things about anal sex and whether or not they've gotten a woman drunk or stoned to get laid. Howard eventually got sick of the whole thing and just had Gary stop without adding up the scores. Meanwhile, Artie Lange had answered ''yes'' to just about every question that was asked which made it pretty funny.
Artie Lange had mentioned the movie ''Lost and Found'' which both he and Spade were in. He told Howard that the hottest chick was in that movie... Sophie Marceau. He also told Howard that Spade tried hitting on her and had no luck with her at all. Spade admitted he tried flirting with her on the set but she just ignored him the whole time. He tried impressing her by having his agent bring a car that he was interested in buying to the set for him to look at. He then asked Sophie if she thought he should buy it but she really didn't care. When Howard heard all of this he said that's what people want to hear from him because they can relate to being blown off.
Howard was wrapping up the interview and plugged ''Just Shoot Me'' which is now in syndication. He asked Spade if Rebecca Romijn-Stamos is still on the show. She's in the reruns but not on the new season. That led to Howard telling a story about how Spade had a crush on her while they worked together and it really pissed off her husband John Stamos. Stamos got pissed because Spade was always calling her at their house. Howard said Stamos was jealous because he thought Spade could steal her away. Howard said he told John that he's too good looking and there's no way Spade could steal her away. Spade said they straightened all of that out after they were done working together.
Everyone spent a few minutes sharing Halloween stories that they heard about in the news. Howard didn't take his daughter out but he did let her get dressed up. Robin said she didn't have one trick-or-treater come to her door last night. Howard didn't have any either but that was his choice.
Howard quickly mentioned that Crunch Gym has donated another $50,000 on top of the $50,000 they already donated to the disaster relief fund that Howard was collecting for a couple of weeks ago. He said he just wanted to thank them for the very generous donations.
Howard played some new songs that Mark Harris sent to him. Howard said they're ''...way off the homo-meter...'' and he wasn't sure we could stomach them. Mark changed some words in our National Anthem and screeched out the song. Robin said she's never heard that song sung with a lisp. Mark also sang a new song called ''Jihad'' and it was just as ''gay'' as all of his other songs... because it was the same music bed that he uses in most of the songs that he's sent to Howard. Howard said the songs are just awful. Vinnie Favale, Mark's liaison to the Stern Show, called in and said Mark told him he'd send video to Howard if Howard played one of his songs straight through without making fun of the song. Howard pretended to give a nice intro to one of Mark's songs and told Vinnie to edit a tape together to make it sound like they actually liked it. That way they'll be able to get the video so they can goof on that too.
Howard continued to play more of Mark's songs and suggested that parents who were letting their kids hear the song give them some porno to keep them straight.
The other day Howard had the Suffolk County D.A. on the phone and he sort of endorsed him for reelection. Howard said after that a bunch of cops from Suffolk County called in and said they don't support the guy and they wanted to tell Howard on the air why they don't like him. This morning Howard took a call from a cop who said that D.A. Catterson doesn't always support the cops the way he should. The cop said what he wanted to say and Howard let him go after a couple of minutes.
Melrose Larry Green called in with tape of Kevin Spacey on ''Late Show with David Letterman'' so Howard could hear him singing again. Spacey droned on and on about how great he is at singing. Howard replayed tape of Spacey that he played the other day where he gets very serious and says that he's not going to do anything ''trivial'' in his life again. Howard spent a few minutes goofing on Spacey and his wacky thoughts on this country. Melrose got back to playing his tape which gave Howard more stuff to goof on. Spacey sang the Paul McCartney song ''Blackbird.'' Howard thought it was really bad but the audience went crazy for some reason.
Richard and Howard discussed his sex addiction and a couple of other so-called disorders that he has. Howard doesn't think he has any disorders, he's just kind of wacky. Richard was also coming up with some wacky stories that weren't quite true. Howard was able to tell that they weren't true stories so he'd call him out on them and Richard would admit they weren't quite right. It was very odd. We didn't really learn that much during the interview either. The interview was surprisingly short. Richard was in for about 20 minutes.
Debbie has been calling in every few days since the September 11th tragedy. She has a shitload of information about people who are probably terrorists living right here in our country. Today she was talking about this guy who is a college professor in this country but he's always speaking out about the country and laundering money for Osama bin Laden's network of terrorists. She said the government knows about this stuff but they haven't kicked this guy's ass out of the country. Howard doesn't seem to understand how that's possible. Debbie doesn't know the reason why either. Howard thinks Debbie has some balls for putting all of this information out there because she gives names. Debbie said she does get death threats once in a while but it's not going to stop her from doing what she does. She said she lives in America and she's free to do what she's doing.
Howard and Debbie were also discussing how feminine the men in this country are becoming. They were talking about how everything is becoming too ''nice'' in this country and the NFL has become more feminine. G.I. Joe dolls were mentioned and Gary said that his kid got one that was a ''USO G.I. Joe'' who didn't even have a weapon. Someone said that it must be like a Mark Harris G.I. Joe doll singing to the troops.
Howard tried to pry into Debbie's personal life like he's done on a couple of occasions but she doesn't like to get into that stuff on the air. When Gary said something about needing only Jewish guys to bang she said she didn't want to talk about that. They then asked her if she's ever banged a non-Jew and she said her father listens and she wouldn't want him to hear about that. She did tell Howard that she has some sexy lingerie in her closet but that was about all we really learned. Howard said he's seen some pictures of her and she's pretty cute. She doesn't have a boyfriend right now and Howard doesn't think she can as long as she's so intense about all of the stuff she's reporting on right now. You can check out Debbie's stuff at WorldNetDaily.com and TownHall.com
After that Howard spent a few minutes playing clips from the soundtrack album for the musical ''Mama Mia'' which is based on old ABBA songs. The other day Howard had mentioned that he wanted to see the musical but then Fred gave him the soundtrack album to listen to and he's not so sure he wants to see it now. He said he used to like the ABBA songs when he was younger and he'd like to see the play. He played a bunch of the songs on the air and didn't recognize more than two or three of them. A couple of callers told Howard the musical was great though so maybe he'll still go and see it.
Bob said as long as Jess was on the phone he wanted her to back up a story he had about Richard Lewis. Bob said a couple of years ago he got some harassing phone calls from Lewis after he did an HBO special. Lewis thought that some of his material was a little too close to his so he left a bunch of messages on his answering machine asking Bob to call him back. Bob said he still has those messages, now burned on a CD, and he wanted to bring them in for Howard to hear. Bob's manager advised him that it might be a bad idea though. He's afraid it would lead to a lawsuit.
A short time later Richard Lewis was on the phone with his explanation. He said that at the time he thought that some of the material was very close to some stuff he'd done 4 years before and he wanted to know what Bob would have done if something like that happened to him. Richard said Bob is a very talented guy and he knows he wouldn't steal anyone's material. He also told Howard it's okay for him to play those messages on the air. Bob just sat there laughing at Richard as he defended his calls. Richard told Howard he didn't know Bob had a wife and kids at the time and that's why he left the harassing calls. Jessica said that he had to know because he called one time and her mother answered the phone. Richard asked her not to answer it the next time it rang because he wanted to leave a message for Bob.
Richard eventually said that he's glad Bob is better now and he knows he wouldn't steal his material. He then got off the phone but Bob was still laughing. He didn't seem to think Richard's call was sincere. Neither did Jessica. Bob continued to make fun of the whole situation for a couple of minutes.
Howard moved on to talk about Bob's dysfunctional family life. Bob said his 25th wedding anniversary is coming up in a couple of days. At one point Gary asked him how he comes up with that number because he's had 8 separations, an annulment and a couple of divorces with the same woman. Bob said that's for the first time they got married. They also talked about Bob's girlfriend for a little while as well as his divorce and how messy that was.
Howard figured with all that's going on in his life he didn't even know about the September 11th tragedy. Bob told Howard he was in the hospital at the time and he was on morphine for the pain of a bleeding ulcer. He said someone came in and turned the TV on and, because he was so out of it, he thought he was watching a movie. He didn't know it was really happening.
Howard plugged a couple of Bob's upcoming comedy gigs. You can find out where he's appearing at WBR.com/RobertSchimmel
Howard missed ''Survivor Africa'' last night because he was watching ''Friends'' instead. Howard didn't want anyone to spoil ''Survivor'' for him so he told Stuttering John to keep his mouth shut about it. John said that it might be the best season yet for ''Survivor.'' When the show first started he said it might be the worst season because there weren't any hot chicks on the show. He said after seeing last night's episode it doesn't matter that there aren't any hot chicks.
Stuttering John's alcohol consumption became the subject for discussion for a little while. John was talking about going out to a sports bar to drink and watch the World Series on TV. Howard said John will probably start drinking today to get prepared for Saturday night's World Series game.
Howard brought up John Stamos and how he had a problem with David Spade calling his wife all the time when they were working together. Howard then moved on to talk about Spade and the time they went out to dinner. Howard was talking about how Spade had to leave the table at one point because some of the other people were doing stuff that he didn't want to do. Howard ended up talking about stealing girlfriends and said he'd never do that to a friend. Robin said she knew of an instance when he did that but she wouldn't reveal who it was. She ended up writing it down on a piece of paper and Howard then remembered doing it. He said the guy he stole the girl from was a pussy. He also said that he had a few months when he was out of his mind and that might explain why he did it.
Howard quickly gave away an Xbox video game system this morning to a guy who had a tiny bit of information about what Jackie the Jokeman has been up to lately. The guy said that Jackie has been doing a lot of yard work on his home in Long Island. Howard said he only had the one Xbox to give away.
Howard let a few women come in who came all the way from England to walk in the New York City Marathon in their bras. Howard said that they're not the kind of women you really want to see in their bras but he gave them a plug anyway. He spent a couple of minutes talking to them and even got to feel up one of them because she has one breast implant that replaced a breast she lost to breast cancer. He then let them plug their web site WalkTheWalk.org and then moved on to other things.
Howard kept bringing up the fact that John was really angry at David Spade that weekend because it was around the time he was calling Rebecca quite often. Stamos said that he wasn't jealous of Spade and he denied saying stuff about Spade that Howard claims he said.
Howard had to interrupt John's interview to talk to this guy Bill the Slow Adult.
This guy Bill the Slow Adult works at Howard's radio station in the mail room. Howard had him come in this morning to talk about his crush on their office manager Anne Marie. He sounds like he might be a little retarded or something. Howard had Anne Marie come in to talk about this too. She said that Bill has expressed his feelings toward her by buying her coffee and stuff like that. She told Howard that the guy is really sweet. Howard told Bill that she's married but he already knew that. Bill wasn't very talkative so Howard moved on to play Mike Walker's Gossip Game real quick. Howard got Mike on the phone and got to the game. Mike told Howard that David Spade is dating model Caprice. Spade wouldn't reveal that on the show the other day so Mike had to give him the story. Howard had Mike get to his game after that quick revelation. Here's how it goes... Each week Mike Walker calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. The stories will appear in Mike's gossip column each week after he plays with Howard. Here are this week's stories:
After the game Howard thanked Bill the Slow Adult for coming in and took a break. After the break he came back with John Stamos so he could continue telling the story about the weekend they hung out together. Howard said he wasn't sure he wanted this whole story to be told. It sounded like he wanted to protect his girlfriend's privacy. What followed was the most fascinating story ever told on the Howard Stern Show. Howard was very hesitant to talk about some of what went on but it seemed like they told almost everything that went on. Here's a quick synopsis of what happened this one night they concentrated on... The weekend they were talking about must have taken place about a year and a half ago. It was Howard's girlfriend's birthday so Howard had planned on spending it alone with her. He ended up inviting John and Rebecca over, they stayed longer than Howard wanted them to. Rebecca ate all of the Chinese food Howard ordered. Rebecca asked Howard if her clothes offended him and if she should take them off... Howard said yes. She ended up topless wearing only a thong. John Stamos ended up giving his cool pants to Beth who said she really liked them. Howard ended up in his underwear dancing with topless Rebecca while John sat and talked to Beth who was also topless. Howard got jealous of John talking to Beth so he ended up breaking the two of them apart and that was pretty much the end of the night.
While they were telling this story Howard kept saying that he wanted to let the girls tell the story because it was their story to tell. At first Howard's girl Beth didn't want to be on the air. Rebecca called in and told her side of the story which pretty much matched what John had said. Beth eventually came on the air for the first time ever. She was very nervous and uncomfortable but she told her side also. Both Rebecca and John kept saying that the night was very innocent and fun. There was no sex or lesbian kissing going on like some people were starting to think. Stuttering John and KC both thought that's what was being left out of the story but they all insisted that didn't happen. Howard didn't slow dance with Rebecca like some people thought. It was just fun dancing... in their underwear! Robin sounded like she didn't believe we were getting the whole story. She also seems to think that Howard was leaving something out of the story. Howard, John, Rebecca and Beth said that they really didn't do anything else.
Beth said she did get a little jealous when Howard was dancing with Rebecca but they're still together to this day. The longer she was on the phone the more uncomfortable she got. On a couple of occasions she wanted to bail on the call and just go do something else but Howard was able to keep her on a little longer. She eventually got freaked out too much and got off the phone. It seems like there was something being left out of the conversation that she didn't want to talk about but that might not be the case.
Howard had to wrap up the conversation because it had taken up so much of the show by this point. Rebecca kept asking Howard if he wanted to hang out this weekend. Howard said he hadn't spoken to John since that weekend because he thought that he was a swinger. John and Rebecca kept revealing stuff about Howard that even he didn't remember from that weekend so it really was a great segment. Gary came in at one point and said that it was probably the most fascinating story ever heard on the show. I know I was glued to the radio for the whole thing.
The John Stamos thing was still a major subject of discussion so Jimmy couldn't get a word in for quite a while. Howard and the crew were still discussing the whole thing and a bunch of people called in with their thoughts on the story. Howard kept saying that it really was a non-story and he didn't know what the big deal was. People like King of all Blacks and Vinnie Favale called in with their thoughts. King told Howard he knows where he was coming from and he would have done the same thing that Howard did. Vinnie has a whole other theory on what actually happened. He told Howard what he thought actually happened but Howard said he told everyone what happened and it wasn't the way Vinnie described it. Ralph was also on the phone again to talk about it even more. He said he thinks Howard could have made something else happen but he didn't want to for some reason. Howard said that he's a conservative guy and Beth is also conservative so they wouldn't have done anything no matter what... especially with the good looking John Stamos in the room.
While Vinnie Favale was on the phone a couple of people made fun of him for the way he eats. Stuttering John, KC and Ralph all had stories about how he ''eats like a fat guy'' when they take him out to eat. They goofed on him about that for a few minutes but Vinnie just kept bringing up Howard's story.
Howard tried to get away from his story for a while so he got back to Jimmy. Jimmy then told a story about the time he and his buddy Adam Carolla were on the show a few weeks ago. After the show they gave Howard their cell phone numbers. Howard ended up calling Adam one day and Jimmy was in the room with him at the time. Jimmy claims that he heard Howard say something like ''... no offense to Jimmy but...'' so Jimmy thought that Howard liked Adam more than him. Howard said this was just a bad day for him. He said those two guys work together on everything and he wasn't sure which one to call first about a project he had in mind. He just happened to pick Adam's number first. He ended up calling Jimmy 10 minutes later anyway. Jimmy said that was true but it was a very long 10 minute wait for him. Howard said those two guys are like a married couple because they're always together. Howard moved on to talk about the Hugh Hefner Roast for a few minutes. Howard was at the roast and said that he hopes they leave in some of the good stuff that he saw but they've cut it down from 3 hours to 1 hour. Howard said he doesn't understand why Comedy Central doesn't just run the whole thing all the way through. Jimmy said he had a reason and just said ''Tommy Davidson.'' Apparently he performed some songs for Hefner and they might have gone on a little long.
Once again another segment was running quite long so Howard had to bring the fun to an end so he could take a break. The John Stamos Story had taken up a good 2 hours of the show by this point.
