Howard spent quite a while talking about his trip to the Dysfunctional Family Picnic concert last Friday. He and his guests got to fly to the New Jersey concert in a helicopter which was able to get them there in about 9 minutes. It would have taken him hours to drive in. Stuttering John also managed to snag another helicopter for himself. Howard said that John also got a limo when the chopper landed. He said that the station had gotten 2 helicopters for Howard and his guests but he only needed the one and John took advantage of that to get the other one.
Howard said there was a lot of controversy going on at the concert. The band Limp Bizkit showed up late and refused to go on for a while. They wanted Stone Temple Pilots to go on in their place but STP and the other bands had a set schedule for when they were supposed to go on and they didn't want to change it. Limp ended up going on about an hour late and it screwed up everyone else's schedule.
Howard was hanging out with Ozzy Osbourne and his wife Sharon. Sharon was pissed at Limp Bizkit and said that if they weren't off stage by 8pm she'd cut the power to the stage. Howard said when it got around 8 o'clock Sharon actually did cut the power. Right after Limp performed a song she cut the power and admitted to it. The power was out for about a minute and a half according to Howard.
Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit was bad mouthing the lead singer of the band Creed for some reason. Then Scott Weiland from STP was bad mouthing Limp Bizkit because they delayed the show for so long. There was all kinds of stuff going on.
Howard was complaining about Stuttering John and how he conducted himself at the concert. He was apparently using Howard's name to get himself beers while he was there. Howard said he only drank about half a can of beer himself but John kept telling people that ''Howard needs beers''. John came in and said that he only did that twice and that was because he thought Howard was actually drinking more than he said. General Manager Tom Chiusano called in and said that John was using Howard's name a bunch of times and it was getting annoying. John then made jokes about it to Tom. Both Howard and Gary told John that he just doesn't get it and that he shouldn't be goofing on his boss. John kept trying to defend himself saying that he was just ''trying to keep the party going'' but Tom said it was John's own party, not Howard's.
Robin is not pregnant. A listener called in and said that he heard a report that Robin is pregnant and she's hiding that fact for some reason. Robin goofed around and said that she was pregnant but she's really not. Howard asked her if she's still able to have kids. What he really wanted to ask was whether she's gone through menopause yet. She said she thinks she's still able to have kids.
Howard was upset that there were hardly any hot chicks showing off their bodies. He said that Jackie's wife was wearing men's underwear to cover up her ass. Howard said he didn't get to see hot Anne Marie but John said she kept shorts and a halter top on the whole time so Howard didn't miss anything. Howard showed up early at 1 and left by 5. Anne Marie showed up at 5:15. When Howard showed up there was no one else there and even John was surprised to see him there so early. The party was set for 1 but John told Howard that the new etiquette is to show up 2 hours late so Howard ended up sitting around for 2 hours waiting for people to come. Surprisingly Howard didn't really have anything bad to say about the party.
He mentioned that Scott Einziger and his girlfriend were there. Scott's girlfriend is pretty hot according to Howard. She used to date Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray. Howard said he told his daughters that and then pointed out who she's dating now and they just said ''Oh my God.'' Howard spent a few minutes talking to Scott about that and how he's just about married to this girl. They've moved in together and Howard thinks that it's just a matter of time before she's begging him to marry her. Scott was married a few years ago and that didn't work out to well. He hooked up with this new girl pretty quick and Howard can't believe it.
Howard mentioned that Ratso is getting married this year and can't believe that either. Doug Goodstein from E! also came in and said that his marriage is happening later this summer also. Howard asked the guys if they still look at other chicks and if they think that these women are the last ones they'll be sleeping with. This all led to a discussion about how guys are always looking for other women while women probably aren't. Howard thinks that women are doing it almost as much as men but they seem to want the steady relationship more than the men do.
Gary Garver also got a quick interview with Steve Landesburg who used to be on the TV show ''Barney Miller''. Gary asked Steve ''Who will you vote for in the Presidential election?'' Steve got upset that Gary was asking questions off a sheet of paper and refused to answer any more. He said it would be boring to be questioned like that. He took the sheet away from Gary at one point and looked at the questions then told Gary to get the microphone out of his face as he walked away.
Howard said that he saw tape of the porn the guys were in and neither of them were able to get aroused and finish off. Hank said that he gave oral to one of the girls but he didn't get off himself. Erik was there for an hour and 15 minutes and was unable to orgasm. He told Howard that he got aroused when one of the girls talked dirty in his ear but he would lose it after that. Howard asked Hank if Erik was giving off a ''gay vibe'' while they were there together. Hank said there was no vibe like that at all. Everyone seems to think that there is something wrong with Erik because he's failed to perform on 2 separate occasions now. Howard asked him if he ever pleasures himself at home. At first he said that he never has but he must have misunderstood the question. He said that he does pleasure himself after looking at pictures of girls on the web.
Gary thinks that Erik may be A-sexual, not necessarily homosexual. Howard agreed with him. Even Robin said that Cleopatra was ''stunning'' in the looks department and Erik should have been able to get aroused looking at her having lesbian sex with Alexandra.
Doug Goodstein came in and said that when he watched the tape of Erik with porn star Dynamite he noticed that Erik was able to get aroused when there were other naked guys in the room. Doug also mentioned that Hank actually climbed into bed with the girls at one point and passed out. Howard said they're not too sure about Hank's sexuality either because he was also unable to get aroused on 2 separate occasions. The jury is still out on both of them.
The other reason Hank was in this morning was that he wrote a ''script'' for Howard's ''Son of the Beach'' TV show. Howard said the script was a page and a half of rambling nonsense. Howard read through some of it and it wasn't funny and it didn't make any sense. Hank said it took him 2 weeks to write the thing. Gary's theory was that Hank would probably write a little bit and pass out drunk. Then he'd wake up after a while and write a little more slowly coming up with the ridiculous nonsense that he brought in this morning. Hank told Howard that he'd rewrite the whole thing and bring back a script in a month or so. Howard asked him to write it in script form this time.
Gary told Howard that he was witnessing something very disturbing about Erik while he was standing near him. He noticed Erik's bleeding gums that have been mentioned a couple of times in the past. Howard told him that he really should see a dentist. Erik claims that he does go to the dentist though. Howard told him to get a different one who actually cares. Gary told him that he should be worried himself because of gum disease and other possible problems it could be. Erik said he will do something about it.
KC came in to tell Howard about his trip to Chicago to appear on the WCKG gay pride float. KC said that there were thousands of people yelling at him while he was on the float. They were calling him gay and saying that he'd finally come out of the closet. ''It was like a public flogging'' he said. KC said that he's now learned that he is homophobic. He had a lot of trouble getting home on Sunday night because of the weather in New York. KC said that American Airlines sucks because they gave him a hard time and lied to him about which airlines flew to New York from Chicago. He didn't get home until midnight last night. Howard saw tape of KC on the float and saw that he was wearing a cut off t-shirt and a baseball cap that said ''Cox'' on it. Howard thought that was a little odd to be wearing to a gay parade. KC didn't think about that until he got back to the airport to leave Chicago.
Howard got a letter from IBM's Jeff Schick who ended up giving Stuttering John a ride after the Dysfunctional Family Picnic last Friday. The letter explained how John begged him for a ride. Jeff doesn't live in New York City where John wanted to go so he dropped him off at a hotel near the city. Jeff said when he got there John asked him if he could borrow $40 for cab fare. He then got lost trying to get home and said that he drove through some horrible neighborhoods. Howard said that John always takes advantage of his friends. Gary came in and said that when John heard the part about getting lost he yelled out that the directions he gave were great so Jeff should have been able to get home easily. He just doesn't get it. ''Jeff shouldn't have been there to begin with.'' Robin said. Gary told another story about how John always borrows $2 from people he's with. He did that to their lawyer a few times and the guy eventually said ''no'' to him. Jackie had his own story about how John wanted to borrow his lobster cooker. Jackie knew that John just wanted him to do all of the cooking and setting up so he never made the offer. John never came and got the cooker. He said he'd changed his mind about using it. Jackie knows that it's just because he didn't offer to do everything that John ''changed his mind.''
Dennis Miller (Comedian Craig Gass) called in this morning to tell Howard how great he's going to be on Monday Night Football this season. The first joke he made was cut off by the delay button for some reason. He went on to make the same type of incomprehensible, lame jokes that the real Dennis Miller might make. Howard practiced with Dennis how he might react to a play during a football game. Dennis told Howard ''Shoot one at me Jew Boy.'' Dennis did some of his ''I haven't seen ...'' type jokes that didn't get many laughs. After the script.. I mean.. after the call was over Howard said that was probably a pretty accurate representation of how Monday Night Football will be this season... lame.
Howard killed some time talking about other various things in the news. He brought up a story about this book that Joe Eszterhas wrote, ''American Rhapsody'', in which he talks about Sharon Stone. He says that she would use the casting couch as a way to get ahead in the industry. Howard seemed to enjoy reading about her and wondered why she's considered a star because she hasn't been in that many good movies in her career.
Howard also replayed the Leon Spinks interview that he played yesterday.
Big Black called in to play tape of a report saying that Al Michaels spent an hour with Dennis Miller and thinks he will make a good partner on Monday Night Football. After that Big Black started asking Howard about why he's thinking of leaving radio when he tells all of these actors to stick to the shows they're on that are hits. Howard said he's given it a pretty good try and it might be time to move on. He also said that he has plans for a ''Howard Stern Network'' type of thing but wouldn't elaborate because he doesn't want to let his ''imitators'' get a jump on him. That led to more ranting about his ''imitators'' and how they just steal everything he's ever done. Every time he brings this up it sounds more and more like he's ready to leave radio.
Another letter started off ''Mr. Slime'' and goes on to complain about how Howard was happy that Imus had fallen off his horse and gotten injured. Howard still gets a laugh when he talks about that situation.
Gary came in with a couple of games for Howard to play. He had a list of acronyms for Howard to try and figure out. Howard didn't know many but he also didn't really care about them either. Here are a few:
The subject of Imus was brought up again by a listener who said that the station he's on up in Boston claims that he's the number one talk show host in the mornings. Howard says that's just a complete lie because he's the number one guy up there. Howard didn't want to spend any time talking about Imus but he did anyway. He told everyone how he vowed to ''bury that old fuck'' the day he was fired from WNBC. Gary said that when they first started on K-Rock back in 1985 Howard would bad mouth Imus every single day. Gary said he thought Howard was being a little rough on him and said they should back off because he was an old man and his ratings were completely gone after a short time. When Howard started laying off a little bit Imus' ratings came back a little bit and Gary now realizes that they should have kept it up until Imus died.
Gary had a ''Who Wants to be a Millionaire'' type of game for Howard to play. He said it was a good one with some good questions. Most of them turned out to be pretty easy for Howard. Here are the 15 questions and the correct answers:
Howard killed more time taking phone calls and playing the ''Wack Pack Wassup'' bit that he's had around for the past few weeks. It's a take-off on the Wassup TV commercial but it stars Elephant Boy, Crackhead Bob, John the Stutterer, High Pitch Erik and Beetlejuice. The bit was videotaped for the E! show. A listener called in and asked when it will be airing on the E! show. Program your VCR's now.. The bit will air on the 11pm E! show on July 14. Howard also replayed the Dennis Miller call from earlier in the morning.
Howard also brought up how Gary had to chase his two kids around during the party. John didn't have to do that because his mother-in-law was watching his daughter. She even took her away from the house around 7pm so John and his wife didn't have to worry about watching her. Somehow this led to Robin saying that John isn't a good father. The two of them went at each other for a minute. John was calling Robin an unhappy old woman while she was talking about his poor fathering.
The subject changed to Stuttering John's ass problems because he was sitting on one cheek. John has had a lot of hemorrhoid problems and Howard keeps telling him that it's his diet. John doesn't believe that his diet would cause all of his ass problems though. He said that Fred gave him an article that says alcohol can cause a lot of hemorrhoid problems but John says his proctologist tells him that's not true. John loves to drink and isn't willing to give it up to cure his ass problems. Gary suggested that John give up alcohol for one month just to see if it helps. John said he doesn't have any reason to do that. He asked if they'd give him any money to do that and that won't happen. John said he enjoys drinking but he's not an alcoholic. He still refuses to stop drinking though. He says he can do it, he just doesn't want to.
Howard took a phone call from a 34 year old woman who wants to come up to meet him. She seems to think that he would like her and want to go out with her. She was telling him about herself and Howard asked her what kind of spontaneous things she might do to have fun with him. She started to mention something and she said she has a daughter. That brought the conversation to a grinding halt. Howard asked her if she has ''tube sock breasts'' from having the kid. She claims that her plastic surgeon thought that he had done her breasts but he hadn't. She says her B-cups look good. She also claims that she's 5'5'' tall and weighs 110 pounds. She also said that she's been told she looks like Sandra Bullock but has Michelle Pfeiffer eyes. Jackie said she probably looks like Bullwinkle. Howard wanted to know why she wants to be with him because he's really not that great. She thinks that he'd be really funny to be around. The rest of the crew just laughed when they heard that. ''He's 2 different people'' Gary said to her. Howard said he'd like to see a woman who can last more than 10 minutes with him. She will be coming up sometime in the future so Howard can see what she really looks like.
Howard had a Kathie Lee interview from some show that he played this morning. In the interview Kathie Lee talks about her new album and leaving the ''Regis and Kathie Lee'' show. Howard found most of the interview very interesting but after a few minutes of it listeners were calling in complaining that they couldn't take it anymore. Howard said he could listen to four hours of that stuff. He eventually stopped it after killing about 20 minutes with it.
Howard received a letter from the head of Rolling Stone magazine, Jan Wenner. The other day Howard had read in Us Weekly that he and Joey Buttafuoco were voted as least eligible bachelors and he got pissed. He said that if Jan Wenner, who is also in charge of Us, didn't apologize to him then he'd start talking about his divorce. The letter came within the 48 hour time limit he gave Jan so he decided not to talk about it. Howard said that he could have written his third book on Jan's divorce story.
During a commercial break Howard said that he and Gary were watching a tape of some movie where this woman gives a guy a really passionate kiss by grabbing the guy and laying a kiss on him. Jackie saw it and said ''how come a woman has never kissed me like that?'' and Gary quickly responded ''Look at ya!'' Howard said it was one of those moments that you just had to be there to see because Gary came back with the response so quickly without missing a beat. Jackie was still having problems talking ever since he got a fake tooth put in his mouth a few weeks ago. Gary asked him if he'll ever be able to get over the speech impediment that he has because of it. Jackie just said that he's not sure. He said he has to wait for the bone under his gums to regenerate before he can get a permanent tooth put in so it might be a while. He explained that the original tooth was broken when he was younger and the rest of what was in there had to be removed recently for some reason so that's why he's been having the problems. Getting old sucks!
Carmen came in to promote the movie ''Scary Movie'' which she stars in. The movie opens July 7. Some people thought that it looked like Carmen might have had some facial plastic surgery done but she said that she hasn't. Howard thinks that they just forget exactly how beautiful she actually is and when they do see her she looks terrific.
Howard got right in to the black guy thing with her. He just came right out and said ''What is it?'' with black guys. She lost her virginity to a black guy in high school but she said that was because she went to a mostly black school. Then there's Dennis Rodman who she was married to for a while. She told Howard that he was around during her mother's death and then her sister's death. They died within a week of one another. They got married around that time but things didn't work out too well. Howard wondered how her sister died. Carmen said that she was 40 years old and a little overweight. She died of a heart attack in her sleep. Carmen has been dancing since she was 5 so she was never overweight herself.
Every time Carmen would talk about something Howard would get back to the Dennis Rodman story with her. He asked her about the recent incident down in Miami. Carmen didn't get into to many details but said that their arguments got a little heated and someone called the cops on them. They were both arrested.
Howard also found out that Carmen hasn't had sex in a while but she likes to masturbate. She told Howard that she has one of those ''Magic Wand'' vibrators. She'll go home at night sometimes and get naked on the floor and do herself. Howard wanted to hear all of the details about that so throughout the interview he kept asking her about it.
Howard also asked Carmen about some of her other conquests like Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit. He also asked about Prince who she used to work with. She says that she never slept with him though. The whole Fred Durst thing didn't last too long. Carmen said that he was always on the road and things just didn't work out.
Howard spent a minute promoting ''Scary Movie'' with Carmen also. He said that he saw it and Carmen's part was pretty funny and may have been the funniest part of the whole movie. Carmen told Howard that she also has a pilot for a TV show called ''Electra Sky'' that they'll be promoting at the NATPE convention. Her old TV show ''Hyperion Bay'' was canceled and she said she's glad. She said the lines were hard to remember because of all the technical stuff in them. Jon Bon Jovi called in while Carmen was still in so Howard took it..
Howard also read that Jon has movie screenings at his home so Howard wanted to know why he's unable to get the same thing. Jon thinks it's because he's done 8 movies and Howard has only done one. Howard said that he could promote the things though. Jon told Howard that he'd invite him over for the next one. This Friday they may get together to see ''Shaft'' or something like that. Howard sounded like he'd really be into doing it. Jon even said he'd fly Howard to his home by helicopter.
Jon said that the new Bon Jovi album, ''Crush'', is in the top ten thanks to Howard having them on the show recently. Howard told Jon they did a great job performing on the show.
Carmen hung around for a few minutes while Howard took some phone calls for her. At one point she told Howard that she has her private parts waxed at some place called ''Pink Cheeks''. She said they do a ''Playboy wax'' that gives the same appearance as the women who appear in Playboy magazine. She said it's all nice and smooth when they're all done.
Howard pointed out that Ted is against the use of drugs but he's kind of crazy in his own way. Stuttering John came in and said that Ted lectured him one time. John and his band were on tour with Ted and Ted lectured the whole band on the use of drugs. John and his whole band were stoned the whole time. John said that Ted didn't allow any drugs on his tour but John was wasted anyway. He's into guns and hunting but he's always telling people not to do drugs. Ted told Howard about some of the kills he's had over the years and that he hasn't had to purchase meat in his home in a very long time. He's always out killing stuff to eat. He's got his own 2000 acre ranch to do his killing at also. He said that over the years he has killed a lion, an elephant and even a monkey. This didn't sit too well with some of the audience so Howard started to let some of the calls come through. Ted would answer the calls by saying ''Happy bass season!'' Sal the Stockbroker called in trying to disguise his voice but eventually he just came out and told Ted that ''You're more washed up than Gary's Water Pik!'' Howard hung up on him after that. Other calls told Ted that they didn't like him for killing innocent animals. There were some callers who are fans of Ted's though. They told him that they would hunt with him any time.
Ted also spoke about touring with KISS. One listener called in and said that he remembered seeing a little known band open up for Ted back in '76. The band was Cheap Trick. Ted said he also introduced AC\DC and Def Leppard among other bands way back when. Ted told Howard that he's had to give up his radio show while he's on tour wit KISS but when that's done he'll go back to it. He also said that his band ''Damn Yankees'' will have a new album out this fall sometime.
Ann Marie, who works in the office, was upset with the whole hunting discussion but she didn't want to confront Ted while he was there. She came in after he was gone and said that even though she's not a vegitarian she's not happy with Ted taking such pleasure in killing animals. Ann Marie eats meat but she said she doesn't have any desire to know where it comes from. She said she knows she probably comes off as a hypocrite but that's the way she feels.
Howard said that one of the DJ's on his radio station just had a baby last night but the program director doesn't want the listeners to know that this guy is married. They want the listeners to think that he's single and available for some bizarre reason. Howard wanted to congratulate the guy but he's not supposed to say his name on the air. It's most likely Will Pendarvis because another DJ has been filling in for him the past couple of days. Howard did say that whoever it is named his kid Ozzy after Ozzy Osbourne. His first kid was named Wylie after the Wyle E. Coyote cartoon. Ozzy Pendarvis?
Stuttering John brought up how Gary has been smoking again lately. He said that Gary has been bumming cigarettes off people a lot lately but Gary denied it. He had quit smoking for 11 years but started up again within the past year or so. Howard says he thinks he knows why Gary started smoking again but doesn't want to say. (hint: WIFE & 2 KIDS) Scott the Engineer is also back to smoking after taking a break for a couple of years. Gary said Scott had a lot of problems when he was buying his new house recently so that probably got him smoking again. Scott told Howard that he was in and out of court with his landlord a bunch of times after his new house purchase went haywire. He said that there were liens on the house that held it up for about 6 months and his landlord tried to evict him a bunch of times. Then he had problems with the new house like termites and something with the roof.
Scott also had a story about going to the Dysfunctional Family Picnic last week. He wasn't allowed in the VIP tent even though he works for the station. He had to sit out on the lawn with his son and his friend. Then his kid's blanket and other stuff were stolen during the Limp Bizkit performance so the kid got upset and wanted to go home. Scott never gets a break and it looks like his 14 year old kid is going to be following in his footsteps.
Howard said that a lot of people have been very angry that he's even having her on his show. Some people think that she's a whore and a hypocrite for saying that she didn't do the TV show for money. Howard also had some ''research'' that was actually stuff from the National Enquirer. The article said that when Darva was in high school she was sleeping around with a lot of people and went to sex parties and crap like that. Darva says the guy that told those stories is lying and she never did any of that. She did say that the guy is the brother of a friend of hers but he is not telling the truth.
After the whole ''Marry a Millionaire'' thing Darva said that she would never want to do anything pornographic and that she didn't want to become famous. Then a few months later she shows up in Playboy magazine. Darva says that she lost her job after the whole controversy and she was unable to find another job. She posed for Playboy because she needed the money to pay her bills.
Howard spent some time asking Darva about the many stories that have been told about her but she denied them all. She said that she was a virgin in high school and she never went to orgies out in the desert like they say she did. Howard also asked her about the guy she married, Rick Rockwell. She said she didn't really want to bash him because she really doesn't know him. She avoided bad mouthing him but Howard got the feeling that Rick was ''hard to take'' when she was with him. She agreed with that.
Howard also tried to find out how much money she was paid to appear in Playboy. She didn't want to tell him the exact number but she did say that it was more than $100,000. Howard read that it was more like $500,000 but she wouldn't confirm it.
Madelyn Night was out in the green room getting ready to do the ''Who Wants to Marry a Porn Star'' so Howard had her come in so Darva could give her some advice. Darva basically told Madelyn that it wasn't a good idea to find a spouse this way. It didn't really matter to Madelyn though. She still went through with it later in the show.
Howard took some phone calls from angry listeners who think that Darva is lying about a lot of this stuff. They still think she's a hypocrite and told her that. Even Benjy and Stuttering John came in and pretty much yelled at her for a few minutes. John and Benjy both think that she's lying about why she did the ''Marry a Millionaire'' show. She says she did it to get a free vacation, not so that she could marry a rich guy. The arguing went on for quite a while but Darva stuck with her story.
Howard plugged a couple of appearances she's making in the near future and said that you can see some of the out takes of her pictorial at Playboy.com
After the break Madelyn came back and said that she wanted to know about penis size. Both Steves said that they were ''average'' size which is somewhere around 6 inches. Her friends also had her ask them if they'd be willing to do a porno with her. Both of them thought that the whole situation had taken a weird turn. Howard said that it went from a sweet thing to a very business like situation. The Steves weren't really into the porno thing but they said they might be talked into it. Then Walter spoke up and said that he was 7 inches and that he likes the whole voyeurism thing so he'd be into that. Within a few seconds Madelyn had made her decision and it was Walter who she chose to be her husband.
Walter already had a ring with him and was ready to go. He had his brother Brett there with him to be his best man. Madelyn's friend Montana Gunn was her bride's maid. There was a Jewish Canter there to perform the ceremony. Canter David Benedict has done some other ceremonies. He performed Stuttering John's wedding and also appeared on ''The Nanny'' in a wedding episode. Howard had him perform a quick ceremony for Madelyn and Walter. The Canter sang some song and did the ''I Do's'' with them quickly. They then kissed and are now married.
After the ceremony it sounded like Montana was ready to marry Kenneth Keith but Howard said he couldn't sit through another ceremony. Madelyn and Walter kissed without tongue and are now ready to live the rest of their lives together.. yeah right! They were very optimistic according to Howard. He spent some time during the break with them and they're already trying to work things out. They have a lot of things to work out and I'm sure we'll hear more about it in the future.. like when they divorce.
Gary said that he saw the two of them talking to each other in the green room and they're already getting along. He said they're happier than he was on his wedding day. Howard found out that this will air on the E! show July 19-20.
Howard took a phone call from a 19 year old college girl who wanted to meet him. She said that she's studying broadcasting so he asked her a few questions to find out how smart she was. He asked her if she knew who said ''Give me liberty or give me death''. She had no clue. He then asked her what UHF stands for. No clue. He told her it stands for Ultra High Frequency. He then asked her if she knows what VHF stands for. Still no clue. He decided to give her the chance to win a trip to the Reading Music Festival over in England if she could answer Robin's one question. Robin asked where the statement ''Four score and 7 years ago..'' came from. The girl actually knew it so she won the trip.
Howard's research said that George actually brought a French woman over here to date a few years ago and even though they're now broken up he's still supporting her. He said it's like George has an ex-wife even though he wasn't married. Howard asked George if it was the accent that eventually got on his nerves. Howard said the accent is cute when you first meet her but then it becomes the most annoying part about her. George said that the French accent holds up pretty well over time. He wouldn't say exactly what the reason was.
George told Howard that his latest date was with a woman he was set up with by his agent. Howard wanted to know how all of that works so he spent most of the interview going through that story. George told Howard how they went out to dinner and a bar. It didn't sound all that exciting and there really weren't any surprises in the story. George did say that the woman was an actress, not some ''regular'' woman.
Howard also spent a couple of short minutes talking about ''The Perfect Storm'' and how George could explain it quicker than he has. Howard has played some tape of George explaining what the movie is about and he just goes on and on when he could just say ''It's fisherman on a boat who have to survive a storm.''
George had to leave after about a half hour but Howard had a big fan who wanted to meet him first. The woman came in and wanted to get a hug from George. Howard didn't want to let her do that but George was willing to do it. They had her patted down to make sure she wasn't packing heat and George gave her a hug. Howard said that the woman looked like Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters. He told her it was a compliment and that she looked like she could be Dave Grohl's sister. Some compliment.
Howard also had a trip to give away this morning to KC came in with a ''How Did They Kill Themselves'' game. KC would give a suicide and 3 names. Howard had to pick which person committed suicide in that way. Howard did a few himself then got a couple of listeners to play for the trip. Here are Howard's:
Walter said that his family is pretty cool with everything. Madelyn said that Walter's brother is really cool. Walter said that his mother is a little nervous about everything but she's okay with it. Madelyn, on the other hand, hasn't told her mother yet! She said that she has to break it to her gently for some reason. Robin asked her if she knows that she's a porn star. Her mom knows that but Madelyn getting married on a radio show might upset her. Howard told Walter that he might want to consummate the marriage before he meets the mom anyway. The two of them said they don't know exactly when that will happen. It could happen tonight if things go well for them. Walter said that Madelyn doesn't drink so it might take longer than normal to get into her pants. Madelyn and Walter have even discussed doing porn movies together. Madelyn even said that she would do him exclusively if that's what he wants to do. Walter said he doesn't have a problem with that. Howard thought that Walter might want to keep his marriage private but if that's what he wants to do then it's just fine. Howard said that he'll be following their story and he'll keep everyone updated on their progress.
Howard said that her breasts were almost hanging out again this morning. She was wearing a very revealing top. She was also sporting blonde hair and blue contact lenses. Howard said she looked ''Smokin'' when she came in. Howard said that her nipple was even peeking out of her top. He told her not to fix it though. She didn't seem to mind that it was out. Kim said that she's ''pretty single'' right now and doesn't have a steady boyfriend. Howard asked what ''pretty single'' meant. Kim said that she has friends that she calls when she gets horny. She doesn't have a steady boyfriend though.
Howard had Mike Walker on the phone so he got the game out of the way. Each week Mike Walker, author of ''Malicious Intent'', calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. Here are this week's stories:
After the game Howard spent some more time talking to Lil' Kim. He found out that she's only 5 feet tall. She said that she likes taller guys though and Howard's 6'5'' wouldn't be bad. She said that she's never dated a white guy before. Howard said that he could be her first if Steven Segal doesn't get to her first. Kim has become friendly with the overweight actor and said that he invited her to his ranch out in Los Angeles. She hasn't had the chance to go yet but she said she wants to go. She said she met Segal at a New York awards show and Segal's assistant came up to her and gave her his card. He said that Steven wanted to take her out to dinner. Kim said she was going to another awards show so she didn't go that night. She said she thinks he's a really nice guy and enjoyed talking to him.
Gary came in and wanted to ask Kim about some rumors he's heard about her. He heard that she was a drug courier when she was younger. Kim said that she was in with the wrong crowds when she was around 13 and did do some stuff for her boyfriends that she's not proud of. Gary also heard that she was a street hustler (aka prostitute) but she denied that rumor. Gary said that he heard that she also stabbed her father one time. She said that she and her father used to fight a lot when she was in her teens and it got out of hand once in a while. She stabbed him in the arms and hands with a pair of scissors. Kim said that her father was very ''militant'' in the way he raised her and she was very defiant. She hasn't spoken to him in about 3 years and says that she'd like to get back together with him because she really does love him. She said she's best friends with her mother right now. She said her father wasn't always so rough on her. It was only after she hit the age of 13 and started to develop that he became a hard ass.
By the time she was 15 she was out of the house and on her own. She eventually finished school and went to college for a year and a half. She said that school was very important to her.
Howard brought up Kim's album ''Notorious K.I.M.'' and asked if it was a tribute to Notorious B.I.G. Kim said it is and that BIG was a really great guy. She used to have sex with him even though he was married. She said that he and Howard would have gotten along really well. Howard just wanted to know how a fat guy had sex with such a small woman. She said that she was on top a lot and she would do any position that Biggy wanted.
Howard took some phone calls and even had Brock the Stutterer (won sex with Christi Lake in 1999) in to perform for Kim. Brock heard that Kim has her own record company so he wanted to demonstrate his singing abilities. He attempted to sing the Star Spangled Banner but his voice was cracking. He also tried some other song but he said he was nervous and it sounded pretty bad. Howard kicked him out after a couple of bad attempts. He won't be getting any record deals anytime soon.
Speaking of drinking.. Howard said that at one point during the break he was talking to Lil' Kim and Jackie walked by. It smelled like he belched as he walked by them and it really stunk. Jackie said he didn't belch and he didn't eat anything this morning. He had a gig last night and drank quite a bit so that may have been the smell they caught a whiff of. His gig was at midnight last night and he probably didn't get any sleep after drinking 6-8 beers. Gary said if Jackie says he drank 6-8 beers that probably means 12 beers. Howard said that the day after Jackie drinks he has this odor about him that has a garlic-like smell. That may be what he and Lil' Kim smelled earlier.