For The Week Of 10/16/2000 to 10/20/2000

• Various Stuff. 10/16/00. 6:05am
  KC didn't make it to work on time this morning. Howard said he called and left a message saying that it was his airline flight from Kentucky that got messed up and will cause his lateness. KC was down in Kentucky for a homecoming thing at his old college. Howard thinks he's full of it and just wanted to party until the last minute down there. Howard also thinks that Stuttering John was sick because of his weekend out partying in Los Angeles. Gary came in and said that John was actually sick before they left so he had to excuse him. Gary did have some complaints about him though. He said when John showed up at the airport late, he was asking for cab fare because he didn't have any cash with him. Gary had to pay it because John didn't go to a cash machine. John came in and immediately started bad mouthing Gary about smoking cigarettes during their trip... even though Gary paid his cab fare. Gary also tipped their limo driver and John didn't contribute to that either. Everyone says this is a pattern with John. He never has money, complains about it, and then borrows from everyone. Gary said John has money but it's all tied up in the stock market. He said John doesn't want to dig into that money because the market's not where he wants it to be. John's drinking was the other major subject of the discussion. Gary said that because John was sick he was only drinking 5 beers a night instead of more. He was cutting back because of his illness. Howard tried to tell him that it's the drinking, smoking(pot) and his being overweight that leads to his getting sick so often. He still doesn't understand that though.

  This guy Frank called in this morning with a story for Howard. First of all he just won a million bucks from iWon.com. Howard said that's not the cool part though. Frank doesn't make much money, about $40,000 right now, and his girlfriend broke up with him after dating him for about 2-3 years. She told him it was because she couldn't see herself dating someone who makes under $75,000. He was only making $20,000 at the time. Now he's won a million and Howard was going to break the news to her on the air. They got her on the phone and Frank told her that he won. At first she said she was happy for him but then things went sour. She said that she was f'ing annoyed that he would tell her that on the Howard Stern show. She then told him that if he wanted to talk to her he shouldn't have done it on the air. She then hung up on them saying that she had to get dressed. Howard and Robin thought that was an interesting reaction from her. Howard said he's probably better off without her after hearing that reaction. Frank said that he picked up some women down in Atlantic City recently and that the best pick up line is ''I just won a million dollars.'' Another guy called in and asked Howard if he could do the same thing to his ex-girlfriend even though he hasn't won. He just wanted to make her feel like crap.

  Howard said that his ratings went back up in New York but the press is claiming that's only because he's in contract negotiations. Howard says that there is no ''negotiation'' going on. He said that Mel (Karmazin) put out an offer and that's that. He can either take it or leave it. He didn't say what's he's planning on doing though. He was complaining that there were negative reports about his ratings recently because there were reports saying that his ratings have been sinking all over the country. He just can't win with the press.

  Everyone spent a few minutes talking about all of the baseball and football games that were on this weekend. That eventually led to Stuttering John goofing on Gary for wearing a Mets jersey that has his name on the back. Howard was talking about how he hates those people who get into the games so much that they think they're part of the team. People that actually get so upset that their team lost that they mope around for a week. That's when John brought up Gary's jersey. Gary said he only wears it to work and he's never worn it to a game. Then John brought up Gary's sneakers and how he's been color coordinating them with his outfits. He said that Gary has like every color Puma sneaker that they make. Gary said he's only got about 4 pair but he does match them up with his outfits. He said he wears sneakers like most people wear shoes. Everyone spent a short time goofing on Gary about the whole thing.

  Howard said he went out to dinner with Ben Stiller and his wife over the weekend. The most surprising thing to Howard was the fact that Ben picked up the tab for dinner. Howard said that never happens to him. He said he almost had a heart attack when Ben grabbed the bill. Howard did pick up the cost of the car they took out to dinner though.

• Big Gay John The Artist. 10/16/00. 8:00am
  This guy Big Gay John The Artist claims to have been raped at the age of 9.. and he liked it. He came in this morning to ask Howard to help him find a man. Before they did that Howard had John tell his story of rape. John described the rape in detail. He said he was hitchhiking home from art school when a guy picked him up. The guy came on to him and eventually went to a secluded back road and raped him. John said it was painful but he enjoyed it. They eventually got a blanket and went in the woods and did it 3 more times. John says he didn't like the guy but he really liked his fat hairy body. John claims that he's known he was gay since he was a young boy. He told Howard that after that one rape it didn't happen again. He didn't tell his family what happened because he was afraid that he was pregnant! He said he'd use the milking machine at his families home to get himself off. He also told Howard that he had sex with a baby cow before it had teeth. Howard kept trying to figure out who John looked like. He said he was kind of a Danny Aiello-type or perhaps a George Steinbrenner-type. It was hard for him to describe.

  The main reason John was in was to have Howard help him find a man. And John has come up with his ideal man in a painting. Howard showed it and described it as looking like Luciano Pavarotti with tons of hair. John said he wants a big, fat guy with a tremendous amount of black, coarse body hair. Howard brought in Scott the Engineer and Ronnie the Limo driver to see if John was interested in either of them. John said he needs someone who is more overweight than either of them. Howard brought in Gary instead. John wasn't interested in him either. He wants someone who weighs like 300 pounds. He also said he should be a straight guy. Howard took a call from a guy who suggested John have sex with bear instead. It would be easier than finding a big, fat, straight man to have sex with. John gave out his phone number for anyone who's interested.. 212-689-3483.

• David Allan Coe Calls In. 10/16/00. 8:40am
  David Allan Coe is not Johnny Rebel. That's basically what this whole segment was about. Howard recently played some racist songs from a ''Johnny Rebel'' album and he was under the impression that David Allan Coe was also Johnny Rebel. David is a successful country singer/songwriter who wrote ''Take this Job and Shove It'' among many others. Howard heard that David had written some of the racists songs on the Johnny Rebel album but it turns out that's not true. He did write one song where he uses the term ''nig*er'' but he claims he's not racist. In that song he sings about ''my wife ran off with a nig*er''. David spoke to Howard and said that he grew up in a black community and he's not racist. He also spent time in prison with black guys and using the term ''nig*er'' was common for him. David said that his drummer is a black guy and he gets along just fine with him. David Allan said that all of the things he sang about were funny to him so he put them in the songs.

  Howard asked him about why he went to prison. David Allan described how his step-mother made his father get rid of him when he was young and that led him to get into a lot of trouble when he was young. He ran around with the wrong crowds and ended up in jail. He then got involved in armed robbery and that's how he ended up in prison. Howard heard that he killed a guy but David said that he was accused but not convicted of killing a guy while he was in prison.

  Howard took some phone calls for David. One guy said that he was so upset that David isn't a racist that he's going to throw away his albums. He got so upset that he ended up hanging up the phone. David said he gets that kind of stuff all the time. People think he's racist but he's really not. He opened up for Kid Rock in a few shows and he caught a lot of flak for that too. People were upset with David because he was hanging out with a rapper.

  Howard also read that David taught Charles Manson how to play guitar. David said he did do that but it was before Manson was the Charles Manson we know today. When he met him he was just another guy in prison.

  David told Howard that he had to file for bankruptcy in 1986 so he doesn't get paid for any of the songs he wrote before then. He makes money going around playing in clubs and stuff. He'll be appearing at the Iron Horse Saloon in Daytona Beach, Florida for the next 10 days. He said he plays down there each time there's a ''Bike Week'' down there.

• More Stuff. 10/16/00. 9:05am
  Howard and the crew spent a few minutes bullshitting after the David Allan Coe phone call. Howard said he saw a bunch of celebrities when he went out to eat over the weekend. He ran into Mark Wahlberg, Jay Z and some other celebs while he was out to eat. He also ran into Regis Philbin who asked him to do a ''Celebrity Who Wants To Be a Millionaire''. Howard said he has no desire to do such a thing. He doesn't get paid to be on there and he doesn't want everyone seeing how dumb he is. Howard heard that Norm MacDonald is on the show and he's having trouble answering any of the ''fast finger'' questions. Howard wondered if Norm is just playing dumb or if he's actually dumb. He said he's got to get Norm in to talk to him about it.

  Gary was out at a Mets baseball game over the weekend and he somehow managed to get in the VIP section. He saw Frank Robinson there. Gary caught a foul ball and wanted to get an autograph for his son. He walked over and asked nicely for the autograph but Robinson just shook his head and turned around. He then stuck his hand out and snapped his fingers. Gary handed him the ball and the guy signed it without saying a word to him. Gary didn't think he'd be upsetting the guy but apparently he did. He was just surprised at the reaction. The theory is that since baseball guys make a lot of money getting paid to sign autographs that he was just pissed that someone was getting one for free.

  Howard and the crew also had a short discussion about divorce. After getting a phone call from a guy who claims to have seen Geraldo Rivera making out with his new girlfriend in front of his 7 year old son Howard spent some time talking about marriage and divorce. He said that people really shouldn't be allowed to get married because they don't know what kind of contract they're actually getting themselves into. He said when people get divorced the women usually end up with more than 50% of the guys money and the guy ends up living in a basement apartment with a hot plate to cook on. Gary said he knew a guy that ended up like that. The whole discussion started after Gary told Howard about his discussion with Stuttering John. John said that he'd give up whatever his wife thought was fair if they were to get a divorce. Gary had to explain to him that what she thinks is fair sure isn't going to end up being fair in his eyes.

  Howard was talking about how he doesn't want to go to Stuttering John's birthday party thing this weekend. The subject of John's wife came up and Howard asked John what he's going to do if her boobs sag after having the second baby. John said that he'd have her get plastic surgery if she doesn't snap back. This led to a discussion about women that used to be considered ''hot'' in their day but have gone down hill right into that wall of ugliness. like Shelley Winters, Delta Burke and Lainie Kazan. They all hit that wall eventually. A lot of the discussion had to do with John and his wacky life. Howard was talking to Gary about how his life now revolves around his kids and he hardly gets a break from them. Gary says he doesn't mind it and he has fun with his kids. Stuttering John has it right though. He's the one bringing in all of the money in the family so he gets to rest on the weekends while Gary has to share days with his wife taking care of the kids. John thinks it's funny that Gary has to help out with the kids after working 5 days a week when his wife shouldn't be complaining at all. John said that if his wife, who is an actress, ever gets a sitcom, he'll be the one sitting at home taking care of the kids while she makes the money.

• Various Stuff. 10/17/00. 6:05am
  Howard mentioned the Pornoween contest that's coming up where Howard will hide a porn star and the first person to find her will get to have sex with her. You can see pictures of the porn star, LeAnna Heart, that everyone will be seeking out over at Howard's half-assed, unofficial web site HowardStern.com. Howard was staring at her pictures this morning thinking about how he'd like to bang the chick. Gary said he spoke to her at Doug Goodstein's bachelor party and that you'd never know she's a porn star. He said she was really sweet when she was talking to him.

  Howard also talked about how he's all over the news this morning. He was out to dinner with a ''friend'' of his and now it's become a big story in the NY Post. He said the story isn't correct and they make a lot of mistakes in it. He also said he had to call his kids to explain everything. He's threatening to send someone out to spy on the people who write these articles so they can feel the same way he does. He read the article and said that he's not denying that he's dated this woman. He's most upset over the way the photographer got his picture. This is the incident he spoke about recently where the guy ran over his foot. Howard said that they didn't even publish the photographers name in the article because they know he'll go after the guy. Howard said that the woman he dated was friends with Ben Stiller already and that's why he invited her to go. He also said that Ralph was supposed to be there but he couldn't make it.. what difference that makes I don't know. It's almost safe to say that Howard is now dating Beth Ostrosky.. you can see her in the movie ''Flirting with Disaster''.

  Howard and the crew were talking about the upcoming subway series that is bound to happen between the Mets and the Yankees. They all ended up betting on the game but not for who wins or loses.. It's on how many people will get killed after the series is over. They had to try and figure out what kind of deaths are going to be included though. Fights and beatings are part of it but a drunk driver going home from the game is not included. Bloated Attorney Dominic Barbara called in and offered to take all the action on the bets. Howard is taking one death for $50. He's saying that any death related to the series will be included. It does have to be in the area though. It has to be in the tri-state area.. NY, NJ or CT. Dominic was even giving odds like 20-1 that someone will die at the stadium. Most of the bets were like $10-$20 each. After wasting everyone's time Dominic revealed that he didn't know it was the series they were betting on. He thought it was just for tonight's game. He yanked back his bets because he believes that more than one person will die in the series.

• Brett DeLamare's Paragliding Adventure. 10/17/00. 6:30am
  This guy Brett DeLamare came in this morning to talk about his paragliding trip around Manhattan. Brett, an Australian, has written a book called ''Canine Dawn'' and he came to the U.S. To try and get it published. He thought that paragliding with his web site posted on his paraglider would help him get some attention. He picked the wrong day to do it because the UN was having one of it's big meetings that day. He was flying around and the cops were thinking of shooting him down because he could have been a terrorist. He planned on landing in Central Park but the park was closed at the time. His motor eventually started cutting out and he thought he was going to land in the reservoir. At the last minute he saw a parking lot so he headed that way. He ended up crashing into a bunch of trash bins and finally came to a stop.. in front of a bunch of cops. They informed him that he landed in the police precinct parking lot! He spent the night in jail. So he's no closer to getting his book published but he hopes making an appearance on Howard's show will help. You can find out more about his book at BrettDeLamare.com.

• Marvin Kitzerow's AIDS Cure? 10/17/00. 8:05am
  This guy Marvin Kitzerow Jr. Has written a book called ''The AIDS Indictment'' in which he describes a way to cure AIDS. He basically says it's all in the diet. As soon as he got on the phone with Howard he started rambling on and on with scientific terms so Howard had to slow him down. He got him to talk in a way that the listeners would understand. He told Howard that AIDS victims have to avoid eating cooked foods that create mucus in the sinus because there are some kind of bacteria in there that promote the HIV virus.. or something like that. He said that to cure yourself of AIDS you have to eat raw fruits and vegetables only. He said you have to get off of all drugs and just change your diet. He was saying that there are 40,000 people who have done this and have gone HIV negative as a result. He told Howard they need to avoid foods like that contain dairy like pastries. They should also avoid rice, flour and stuff like that. Potatoes and meat are also a no-no. Howard took some phone calls for the guy and some people don't agree with his theory. There were a couple of guys who tried to argue the theory saying that people do need to take drugs to control things like the T-cel count. Even Magic Johnson said he takes a cocktail of drugs to control his HIV. Marvin kept repeating himself on some of his points and he was going in to way too much detail so Howard had to stop him eventually. He plugged the book and his web site, AIDSIndictment.com, and tried to end the segment. Marvin would keep going on and on until Howard finally told him to stop. Howard told the guy that he's a good guy and he thinks he might be on to something here but he was getting a headache talking about it.

• Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst Comes In. 10/17/00. 8:45am
  The lead singer of Limp Bizkit, Fred Durst, came in this morning to promote their new album Chocolate Starfish And The Hotdog Flavored Water which comes out today. He'll also be on TRL on MTV this afternoon. Howard immediately brought up how much Fred gets laid. Fred said he didn't get laid in high school at all. He got beat up instead. Howard mentioned how Summer Altice was on the show recently talking about how hypnotic Fred's voice is. She dated him for a short time but Fred said she was a little too neurotic for him. He also said that some of these women who are hot tend to cool off pretty quick after you get to know them.

  Howard mentioned that KC said that Limp Bizkit ripped off Howard's band The Losers performance of ''Hurdy Gurdy Man'' with their new song Rollin'. Howard doesn't know what the hell KC was talking about though. Fred played along with it and said his inspiration was The Losers. Robin complimented Fred on the song ''Outside'' he did with the lead singer of Staind which is on the 1999 Family Values Tour album.

  Fred is the head of Interscope records and he had been helping out this other band for a while. He finally offered them a contract and they took it and shopped it around to other record companies. He made a phone call to the band and left a message on their machine. The message made it around to radio stations and Howard played it for us this morning. In it Fred tells the guy that he's basically just screwed himself out of some good friends in the industry. Fred said that just wasn't the right thing for the band to do. He gave them a lot of help and they turned around and screwed him over.

  Howard got back to the women that Fred has had over the past couple of years. It wasn't as long of a list as Howard thought it would be though. He mentioned Christina Aguilera and how Fred performed with her at the MTV awards this year. Fred said he took her out one time but that was about it. He said he was trying to get her but she is dating one of the dancers that works with her. He did get to kiss her but that was about all he got off of her.

  Howard played the song ''Hold On'' from the new Limp Bizkit album where Fred sings with Scott Weiland from Stone Temple Pilots. The song sounded really good and it was a pretty mellow song compared to some of Limp's other music.

  Howard got back to some of the other chicks that Fred is rumored to have been with. Of course Howard knows about Jamie Bergman from his FX TV show ''Son of the Beach''. Fred went out with her but said that he kind of got sick of her. He said that's what happens in a lot of his relationships. He said he gets annoyed by little things that bother him and it ends relationships. Howard mentioned Jennifer Lopez as one of the women but Fred said that was false. He said he really doesn't get laid as much as people seem to think he does. He has gone to some Playboy parties and stuff like that too. He told Howard that he should go to one of those parties because they're really great. He said the women just walk around in underwear. Howard mentioned that Fred dated Miss USA Kim Pressler too. Fred said she was a little to nice for him. She was a nice girl but she was always that ''Miss USA'' person and it was too much for him.

  Howard heard that Fred was at Scores on Saturday night with his own dancers. Fred said that he didn't really have a good time there because he was surrounded by guys and he couldn't even see the stage. Howard told him that he might have ''vagina burn out'' from all the chicks he gets. He told Fred to send over all of the chicks to his show when he's done with them.

  Howard read that Fred's father was an undercover narcotics cop. That's why Fred claims he was scared away from doing drugs. He's tried pot but he said he thinks too much and gets paranoid when he smokes it. He just drinks once in a while now.

  Howard brought up the TRL appearance Fred is making today with Carson Daly. That led to them discussing Carson's old girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt. Howard and Fred don't think she's all that hot. Howard said her forehead is too big and that she's ''morphing into Cher.''

  Fred asked Howard who he thinks is the hottest chick on the planet at this time. Howard was having trouble coming up with one but eventually said that Pam Anderson might just be the one. The two of them were mentioning names like Leila Arcieri, Kylie Bax, Heidi Kluum, and Kate Hudson. Fred said he thinks Kate is really hot. He even put her on his list of hottest women in the world.

  Howard played another one of the new Limp songs before taking a couple of phone calls. He also plugged LimpBizkit.com. Finally, there were a couple of 16 year old kids who wanted to meet Fred so Howard brought them in the studio. They'd been waiting outside since 4:45 this morning. He let the two of them talk to Fred for a couple of minutes. Their parents actually let them stay home from school to do this. Howard also learned that one of the kids lost his virginity when he was only 13 ½ years old. The kid said the girl was kind of ''husky'' though. She wasn't hot but he didn't care because he got laid. Howard told both of them that they should be able to get laid now because they can tell chicks that they know Fred. They'll be at the TRL taping as well as Limp's Virgin Megastore CD signing at 4:30 this afternoon in New York City.

• Various Stuff. 10/18/00. 6:05am
  Howard said he missed the presidential debates last night because he was watching the Yankees game. He missed the end of it but Stuttering John was there so he filled him in on everything that happened. After talking about the game John said he didn't have any desire to bet Gary on the outcome of the World Series. It was suggested by a phone caller that if John lost a bet that he'd have to clean Gary's teeth and if Gary lost, he'd have to clean John's hemorrhoid. Gary wanted no part of that. John said that Gary had the better bet. KC came in and made a suggestion but the delay was hit on it. We later found out that he'd suggested that the loser of a bet would have to let the other guy piss on his hand. Howard got pissed off himself after finding out that Andre had hit the delay on that part of the conversation. He said he's allowed to talk about urination and Andre should know that. He then had to change it to either ''number one'' or ''pee-pee'' because the rules are so ridiculous.

  Crazy Cabbie called in to give Howard an update about his current situation.. which is still a secret for some reason. Cabbie is still saying that he can't talk about where he's at right now. He's very cryptic when he's talking about the situation. We recently found out that he may or may not be in rehab out in the mid-west somewhere. Howard reminded everyone that Cabbie was a Gulf War veteran for some reason. He was sober when he started at Howard's station but he soon fell off the wagon.. 2 years after becoming sober. He had to go to rehab because, Howard says, he borrowed money from Tom and a few other people, and didn't pay them back. Howard talked to Cabbie about all of that for a few minutes but Cabbie is still staying quiet about why he's not talking. He told Howard the reason he was calling in was to talk about what a liar Al Gore is. Howard told Cabbie ''They're all liars!'' .. politicians that is. Cabbie also said he misses getting angry e-mail so he gave out his new address: CrazyCabbie@ny.com

  Howard brought up the Pornoween contest they'll be having where someone will find porn actress LeAnna Heart hiding in the tri-state area. The first person to find her will get to have sex with her. Howard played a clip from one of her movies where she's moaning and screaming while having sex. KC says that he's never had a girl do that with him but Gary claims that he has. Stuttering John also said he's had women scream out stuff.

  Stuttering John told Howard that he asked Robin where she keeps her horses yesterday, and she didn't know the name of the place. Robin said she's busy with other stuff and she doesn't happen to know the name of the town they're in. She knows how to get there and that's enough for her.

• Senatorial Candidate Phil Giordano Calls In. 10/18/00. 7:25am
  Phil Giordano is running against Joe Lieberman in the Connecticut senate race. He called in this morning to talk to Howard about how little Lieberman seems to care about the race. Phil said that he and Lieberman were supposed to debate tomorrow but Joe won't be showing up. Phil said that he's going to have an empty chair at the debate to represent the absent Lieberman. He also said he'd have a pair of flip-flops to represent him because Lieberman can never make up his mind what he wants to do. Howard said that he'd come to the debate and just play cards with Phil. Phil suggested that Howard be the moderator in the debate. Howard said he'd be thrilled to do that. Phil just wanted to let everyone know that he's serious about this senate run and Lieberman apparently doesn't care.

• Porn Actress LeAnna Heart Comes In. 10/18/00. 7:40am
  The woman who many men will be searching for on Halloween came in this morning to talk to Howard. Porn actress LeAnna Heart will be hidden in the tri-state area (NY, NJ, CT) on Halloween and the first person to find her gets to have sex with her. Gary brought LeAnna in before she changed into her sexy outfit so Howard could see how cute she was in her ''normal'' clothes. Howard said she looks really young for a 26 year old. He said her belly is really flat and she looks really cute. Howard played the audio clip that he played earlier in the morning where she's moaning and groaning. Howard asked her if she's done that from the beginning of her sex life. She said it has become much more vocal as time has gone by. Howard and Gary said they never make noise while having sex. Fred said he makes quite a bit of noise while he's having sex. That seemed to surprise everyone in the studio.

  A listener called in to find out how much time he'd have with her if he won. Gary and Howard suggested between an hour and two hours. Gary thinks that guys might be kind of nervous and it might take them some time to get going so he wants to give them the two hour time limit. Another caller asked if size matters to LeAnna. She said ''definitely not'' but no one believed her. Howard also wanted to know if she likes having her ass smacked and her hair pulled. She said that the man should take charge and if she doesn't like something she'll let him know. The main reason for her visit was to get some of the rules set for this Pornoween thing. Howard took more calls from people who wanted to know about what they could do. She said there will be no kissing and no anal. She's saving that stuff for a husband. She said it's okay for the guy to bring ''toys'' like vibrators and stuff but she has to approve them.

  Howard took a break so LeAnna could change into her sexy outfit. When they came back Howard guessed her weight.. after she stood on the hidden scale in the studio. She weighs 105 with shoes on. She told Howard that she's 5'1'' tall with a 34-C bra size. Howard continued to have people ask her questions about the Pornoween contest. Gary asked her if there's anyone she won't do. She said as long as they're human she'll do them. A caller asked her if she'd do a Cleveland Steamer for him if he won. She didn't know what it was so Howard had to describe it. He basically said it's when a girl craps on a guy. He did it in a more delicate way of course. She said no to that. Gary asked her if she'd ever do an enema movie. She said no to that also. One caller asked if she'd let the guy ''finalize'' in her face. Howard said she'll be practicing safe sex so it would be hard for a guy to do that with a condom on.

  Howard found out that LeAnna was paid with a car for using her hand on a guy.

  After a caller asked if LeAnna would perform a Blumpkin as the sex act she said that she's into more traditional, romantic stuff. She won't be doing anything strange.. other than having sex with a stranger.

  One caller tried to bring up some kind of bizarre controversy that LeAnna was involved in out in Hawaii. He asked her to talk about how she vanished for a period of time while she was there. She said that she was unable to contact her family for two weeks after she was robbed while dancing at a club out there. Howard thought it sounded strange and tried to get more info out of her. LeAnna eventually told Howard that she can't talk about the situation because there are other people involved in it that she doesn't want to get in trouble.

  LeAnna told Howard how she got into the porn business. She said her step-brother got her started dancing at a club and she ended up talking to another dancer who got her into the porn business. Howard also had her do a little bit of her moaning for him while she was there. It was nothing like the audio tape he had from her movie though. She didn't put any effort into it in the studio. Howard continued to play the tape of her throughout the interview. He seemed fascinated by the noises she was making.

  You can visit LeAnna's official web site at SexyLeAnna.com. Howard said that his site has been down since last night for some reason. He had two pictures of LeAnna there and it may have crashed. LeAnna will be making some appearances in the New York-New Jersey area and you can find out more about that on her web site.

• Various Discussions. 10/18/00. 9:05am
  Howard says he's not sure if he's going to Stuttering John's birthday party this Friday night. John is having a get together at a Mexican restaurant and everyone was invited. Howard says he doesn't like Mexican food so he's not sure if he'll show up or not. Gary says he doesn't feel like blowing $80 bucks for dinner with John. It's costing everyone $40 a head but that includes food and drinks for a couple of hours. John said he wouldn't be offended if Howard didn't show up. Robin won't be going either. John mentioned that Scott Einziger, Doug Goodstein and Jackie's wife Nancy will be there. Howard said that his daughter might want to go to the Eminem/Limp Bizkit concert that night so that's probably where he'll be.

  Howard spent a bit of time talking about last night's presidential debates.. even though he didn't watch them. He had views on what Gore should have done to come on stronger. He suggested that Gore should have been more vicious toward Bush in the debates but he's got so many people telling him what to do that he's gotten confused.

• Various Stuff. 10/19/00. 6:05am
  After playing a clip from last night's Access Hollywood where they called him ''Shock Jock'' for the millionth time, Howard said he's sick of that term being stuck to him. He doesn't understand why that term sticks with him and no one else. He wants to know when that will end.

  Gary the Retard called in and rambled on the phone unintelligibly for a couple of minutes. Howard didn't understand much of what he said other than that he wants to get laid. Howard told him he's tried to set him up with women and he never gets anywhere with them. Howard told him he should have watched that movie ''The Other Sister'' with Giovanni Ribisi and Juliette Lewis playing a retards in it to get an idea how to pick up a chick. Howard said he could never get through that whole movie though so he's not sure how it ended. Both Gary and Robin also said they've never been able to watch the whole thing either. No one in the studio knew how the movie ended. A listener finally called in and told them how it ended. The two retards get married by the end of the movie. Howard said every person who plans on getting married should be forced to watch it because in the future retards are the only people who will get married.

  Howard will be Dr. Stern tomorrow. He'll be giving free breast exams to any woman who wants to get them checked on National Mammography day. Tune in to hear Howard feeling up... I mean examining women. Howard said that Collective Soul will be performing on the show tomorrow also and he may do some of his exams during their performance.

  A 19 year old girl by the name of Bianca called in asking Howard if she could come in so he could evaluate her for Playboy. Howard thought she sounded kind of dopey so he assumes that she must be really hot. Robin was willing to bet Howard that she's not hot. Howard was ready to take the bet until the girl said that she doesn't think she's hot and she might need liposuction. The girl's boyfriend told her that Howard could help her out somehow. Howard wondered how, at 19, a girl could be so fat that she needs liposuction. We soon found out she's 5'5'' tall and weight a hefty 140 pounds. Howard gave her some advice on how to diet correctly because liposuction isn't the right answer. Howard told her to go out and get a life to get her self esteem up. She told him that she's been on all kinds of prescription drugs to help her get over her depression. Howard also told her she might want to get away from her boyfriend because it sounds like he set her up to be humiliated on the show. Dr. Calabro called in after Howard said liposuction is dangerous. Dr. C wanted to let Howard know that it's not dangerous and that it works. Howard still told the girl that lipo won't change her life. Jessica Hahn called in and offered to talk to this girl. She said she'd whip her into shape and give her a make over. Bianca said she would talk to Jessica off the air so Howard let them do their thing.

• Gary Garver Interviews. 10/19/00. 7:40am
  Howard had tape of west coast interviewer Gary Garver with Richard Roundtree at a breast cancer charity event. Roundtree is a breast cancer survivor. Gary sat down with Richard and tried to ask him some questions. Roundtree wasn't happy that Gary was asking non-cancer related questions so he tried to get him to ask only cancer questions. It didn't work so Gary asked a few others before Roundtree walked away from him. Here's what he asked:
  • Is America ready for Jewish Vice President?
  • Does the media portray blacks in a negative way?
  • Will the black kids adopted by Steven Spielberg grow up with a warped sense of reality?
  • Was OJ unfairly prosecuted?
  • Why are there so many Jews in the music industry?
  Roundtree walked as soon as Gary asked the last question. He told Gary that he didn't like ''where he was going'' with his questions. Howard had more interviews but he got distracted and started discussing the Mets and the Yankees. Gary told Howard that the Mets are cool about coming on the show but getting any of the Yankees on the show is next to impossible. He said they're really hard to deal with and it's kind of upsetting. Howard may go to one of the World Series games next week but he's not sure if he really wants to use his name to get tickets. His agent wants him to though. Howard had to take a break from the Gary interviews to get to Benny Agbayani.

  Later in the show Howard played tape of Gary Garver with Jerry Stiller. Gary started to ask Stiller some questions but he ran off pretty quick. As Gary started out the interview Stiller told Gary ''I only have a couple of minutes, you know that'' to make sure he knew he didn't have time for this. Gary asked ''Is 'King of Queens' better than 'Seinfeld'?'' Stiller, who was on both shows, said that shows have different levels of comedy. He then said the question was too hard to answer and walked away. Gary later tried to ask him more questions but Stiller and his people just wanted gary out of the place so they asked him to leave. Gary left after trying to explain that he'd waited an hour and a half to ask the guy questions.

• Mets Outfielder Benny Agbayani Comes In. 10/19/00. 8:10am
  New York Mets outfielder Benny Agbayani came in to talk about the upcoming World Series. Howard mentioned that Benny is also known as ''Hawaiian Punch'' or the ''Smokin' Samoan'' as well as a couple of other nicknames. Howard said the guy looked like he was really happy to be there. Benny says that he watches Howard's show all the time and he's a big fan. Howard spent some time learning about how Benny made it to the major league after 5 years in the minors. Benny said that he owes it all to his current manager Bobby Valentine. He said that Bobby was his manager back in '96 when he was still in the minors. Bobby brought Benny up to the majors when he became the Mets manager. Howard also learned that Benny made less than $30,000 when he was in the minors and now he's only making a little over the minimum salary in the majors. That's around $200,000 a year. He's been playing really well this year but his contract is for another year so he'll be stuck making $200,000 for another year before negotiating a new contract.

  Howard has heard that Bobby Valentine may be leaving the Mets after this season. Benny doesn't know anything about that. A phone caller said that he heard Valentine might bring Benny with him if he goes to another team and that's why he hasn't been offered another contract yet. Benny said he'd like to make more but he's willing to wait for the big pay day. He said he's not angry about it but he might be a little bitter.

  Howard asked Benny if he showers with all of the other guys and wanted to know who has the largest penis. Benny just laughed at Howard's questions. Howard said he heard that Samoans have wide penises but not long. Benny laughed and said that's true. He eventually said he doesn't look at other guys penises in the shower but Howard didn't believe him. Gary asked him if the stereotype about black guys having bigger penises was true or not. Howard said the answer was yes and Benny just agreed.

  Benny hasn't been offered any endorsement deals yet but he said his agent is working on that. Howard suggested that he endorse Hawaiian shirts or something like that.

  Robin brought up one incident this season where Benny tossed a ball to a fan while a play was still going on. He thought there were 3 outs but there were only 2. He said that was a big mistake but Bobby Valentine told him not to let it ruin his day. He knows that if he screws up in the World Series that he'll never be allowed to forget it. He told Howard that he thinks the Mets will take the series in 5 games. He said he's not feeling any pressure right now. Howard took a couple of phone calls before Benny had to leave to go do the Regis Philbin show. Howard also asked Benny how many deaths he thinks there will be during the series. Benny predicts that there will be over 2 deaths. Howard also found out that Benny lost his virginity around 15 and ended up marrying a girl he's known since he was 18. Howard asked him if he thinks he's done with getting other women. He thinks he is and said that he and his wife are best friends. Howard told Benny to call the show after each game to let them know what's going on. Benny said he'd do it and wouldn't let them down.

  After Benny left Howard said that they came up with a good World Series bet for John and Gary. If John wins with the Yankees, then Gary would have to write Mets on his teeth. If Gary won then John would have to show him his golf ball sized hemorrhoid. It was just a suggestion so it might not actually happen.

• Hate Benjy? Sign A Petition At IHateBenjy.com. 10/19/00. 8:55am
  Howard was playing a couple of voice mails that he got at the station. One of them was from a woman who hates Benjy so much that she's started a web site called IHateBenjy.com. Howard told Benjy that he's made it now that someone has a web site for him. The woman is getting people to sign a petition to get Benjy off the air so check it out if you also hate Benjy.

  Howard also played a bunch of other tape that he had lying around. He played a quick clip of Farrah Fawcett on Letterman and said that she still sounds wacked out of her head. He also had a strange voice mail that Mariah Carey has on her web site for her fans to listen to. She uses it to promote all of her stuff though so it sounds kind of lame. Howard wonders what fans have time to download this stuff. Vinnie Favale from CBS somehow has a bunch of the messages so he called in to play them for Howard. He played one where Mariah is telling her fans about this song that she wants released but the record company won't release it for some reason. She pleads with them to sign petitions and call MTV to get them to make her album a best seller and all of this other stuff that's really strange. Howard found it fascinating. Vinnie has like 5 of these calls and has put them all on a CD that he'll give Howard for tomorrow's show. Howard spent a couple of minutes goofing on how wacky the message was. Vinnie also had tape of Jackie promoting his new CD ''F. Jackie'' on Court TV yesterday but when he played it the volume wasn't loud enough so Howard hung up on him. We'll probably hear that on tomorrow's show also.

• Various Stuff. 10/20/00. 6:05am
  Howard said that even though the Baha Men wanted to come on the show to perform their song ''Who Let The Dogs Out'', he won't be having them on. He said after the first couple of lines of the song he's done with it. He can't make it through more than 10 seconds of it and he doesn't want them performing the whole song on the air. Gary said the 9 Baha Men really wanted to come on the show but Howard decided against it. Howard has a version of the song that Wood Yi sings that's easier to take.

  Howard was getting ready for his breast examinations when Anne Marie came in to tell him how to do them correctly. She showed Howard how the woman is supposed to sit down, then fold their hands together in a certain way. Robin said she's never had to pose like that and it looked more like her doctor is posing her for Playboy pictures. Anne Marie went over and demonstrated on Howard how he's supposed to feel the breast for lumps. Howard found that very sexy, especially when she told him that the doctor has to squeeze the nipple to check for discharge. She refused to say the word ''nipple'' because she doesn't like it for some reason.

  Later in the show Howard discussed Robin's charity event that everyone went to last night. Howard said he had Gary, Jackie and Nancy in his car that went to the event. Howard said Nancy was looking really good. Ralph was also there to go and he was giving everyone a hard time. He was ordering a ton of sushi to eat and wanting to take a shower right before everyone was about to leave. Howard said he wasn't supposed to be there to take a shower. Everyone had to wait on Ralph to take his shower before they left. Howard, Gary and Robin were all trying to figure out why Ralph would do this bizarre stuff. They think that he might be taking advantage of all of Howard's nice stuff. Ralph also took candy from Howard's kitchen without asking which kind of pissed Howard off. For some reason Ralph thinks he can take advantage of everything in Howard's apartment. Later in the show Howard had Ralph on the phone and he asked him why he has to be the last one to be ready all of the time. Ralph doesn't see it as being a problem and he wasn't aware that taking a shower was a problem. Howard spent 15 minutes telling him that he doesn't want him taking showers at his place anymore. He eventually told Ralph that he's not going to hang out with him anymore. He's said that many times in the past and it never happens.

  Howard also spent some time talking to Ronnie the limo driver about why he gave bad advice on how to get to the event. Ronnie gave the best advice he had and he defended his suggestion. Ralph said that he could give better directions and that he'd race Ronnie anywhere in the city and he'll beat him there. Ronnie said he'd take that on anytime. Howard was ready to set it up right there. He's going to set up some kind of race in the near future.

  Howard spent some time talking about other things that happened at the show. He was followed by a camera half the time he was there until someone told the guy to get lost. Everyone was talking about all of the hot chicks that were there also. Then Stuttering John told Howard that he was counting how many times Gary was licking his lips while he was doing an auction there. He said that Gary would lick his lips each time the bids went up a thousand bucks or so. On one item that went for $15,000 Gary licked his lips 16 times. On a $5000 item he licked them 5 times. John said he eventually lost count. He was actually yelling out the count as Gary did it so it sounded like he was bidding on the items. He said he and Vinnie Favale almost got in trouble for doing that. Howard and the rest of the crew spent a few minutes goofing on Gary about the licking. Gary said he was nervous and his mouth was dry so that's why he was doing so much licking.

• The Breast Exams Begin. 10/20/00. 6:30am
  Today was National Mammography Day so Howard offered to do some breast exams free of charge today. Howard had the first two women come in shortly after Anne Marie gave him a lesson on feeling for lumps. Howard was dressed up like a doctor but one of the women said he looked like a coal miner. He decided not to use gloves on these women. The first woman up was Rhonda. She had very small breasts but Howard said they were cute. She took off her bra and Howard felt for lumps for a minute. He also made sure to squeeze the nipples for discharge. Of course he told the women to make sure they check with a real doctor to be sure they don't have breast cancer.

  The next woman up was Nikki. She's a nurse from Cleveland, Ohio. She said that she checks herself monthly as every woman should. When she let her puppies loose Howard and Jackie were amazed at the size. Howard did his exam while Fred played honking horn noises. The exams were very quick and Nikki said she wanted more checking. Howard said that she doesn't have any problems and booted the first two out of the studio.

  Howard replayed the Gary Garver interview with Richard Roundtree that he played yesterday because Roundtree is a breast cancer survivor.

  Later in the show Howard brought in the rest of the women to have their breasts examined. Howard got dressed in his Doctors outfit and got all of his tools out. The next woman up was Sally, a marketing director for some web site. She went over and took her bra off for Howard. He said it looked like she was getting excited. KC saw her nipples getting erect and yelled out ''The turkey is done bro! Look at those things!'' He was so distracted that he forgot to help out with the microphone. After Howard felt her up.. I mean examined her he moved on to the next woman. Angela, who is in G. Gordon Liddy's Stacked and Packed calendar was next. She had some large breasts that impressed Howard and KC. KC said ''Wow!'' when he saw them. Howard had her pose in the correct position and went ahead and felt.. er, uh, examined her large breasts. She was moaning while he was doing the exam. She claims she was getting excited by the whole thing. Howard gave the two of them hugs as they left. Howard said he loved doing what he could for National Mammography Day.

• The Gossip Game With Guest Puck From The Real World. 10/20/00. 7:10am
  This guy Puck who was on the 3rd season of MTV's ''The Real World'' came in to play the Mike Walker Gossip Game this morning. Howard was always a fan of Puck when he was on the show because he was so controversial. He ended up getting booted off the show because he was such a pain in the ass. He came in and spoke to Howard for a couple of minutes before playing the gossip game. Howard found out that he stopped his bike messenger job and now makes money doing speaking engagements at colleges a couple times a month. He said he makes a couple thousand for each engagement. He said it's really easy stuff too. He just lets the kids ask him questions and he answers them.

  Howard had Mike Walker on the phone so he got to the game pretty quick. Each week Mike Walker, author of ''Malicious Intent'', calls in with four gossip stories. Three of the stories are from his National Enquirer gossip column. One of the stories is false. Everyone tries to pick out the false story. Here are this week's stories:

  1. Angelina Jolie held up production of her new movie because she said her co-star Kevin Costner was too old to be making out with. But her husband Billy Bob Thornton is the same age so no one knows the real reason she doesn't like Kevin.
  2. Sylvester Stallone's mother used to dress him up like Julie Newmar when he was a young man to fool a friend of hers.
  3. Will Smith has been stopped from sparring with military boxers after his insurance company found out about it. He has to spar only with approved boxers to train for his new Muhammad Ali movie.
  4. Geena Davis recently embarrassed guest star Peter Horton on the set of her TV show when she told him he didn't have any comedy timing. She told him to watch some Three Stooges tapes to get some ideas.
  Howard, Robin and Fred all went with number 3 as the false story. Jackie went with number one while Puck went with number 2. The actual false story was number three. Puck was playing for a caller on the phone but because he lost the caller didn't win the $1000 from iWon.com.

  Gary came in after the game and said that he was upset that Puck wasn't acting like he expected him to. He was hoping that they'd get Puck instead of David (Puck's real name). Howard and Puck ended up telling Gary to get lost.

  Howard spent the rest of the segment talking to Puck about going to jail. Puck was in jail for 8 months and 20 days and he said it was a real learning experience. He said that all kids should be brought to jail to show them what it's like because it works. He said there were fights all the time and the races were all separated in the cell. He said white guys stayed with whites and blacks stayed with blacks Puck said he got in fights and ended up in ''the hole'' for 10 days. He also said there was gay sex going on but it wasn't ever forced on him. He said some guys were there looking for sex. One guy wore lipstick and an extra large shirt that looked like a dress. Puck said the guy would give hummers for 2 packs of top ramen noodles. He said it really sucks being in jail. He said that the guards usually just ignore the fights and sex going on in the cells.

  Puck had some complaints about the Real World people. He said he doesn't get paid a cent from the shows and all of the other stuff they put out about the show. He only makes money on his speaking engagements and that sucks. Howard took a couple of phone calls for Puck but there wasn't much happening on the phones. Before ending the interview Howard said that Puck is dating his cousin. Puck said it's a very distant cousin and it just happened by chance. He ran into this girl on the street and hooked up with her. They later found out that they're related. As the interview was wrapping up Puck suggested that people vote for Ralph Nader. He said ''Bush is like ''poop on the lawn'' and Gore is like ''gum on the sidewalk'' and that he likes gum more than poop but Nader is the way to go. To book members of The Real World visit WorldWideTalentGroup.com

• Collective Soul Performs Live. 10/20/00. 9:10am
  Two members of the band Collective Soul came in and performed their hit song ''Shine'' from one of their old albums. Howard spent a minute talking to them before they did the song. Ed and Ross told Howard how they were turned down by many record companies in the past. Ed said he was called the worst song writer ever heard. He was also told that he should never have a one line chorus which proved to be wrong with ''Shine''. Howard had the guys play ''Shine'' and it sounded great. He then spent a few more minutes talking to them and then played the song ''Why Part 2'' off of their new album ''Blender'' which also sounded good. Ed said that they worked with Elton John on the new album. They told Howard how they just go into a rehearsal hall and come up with songs. Ed said they can sometimes write and record a song in 4 hours or so. The guys told Howard that they had some problems with money disappearing in the past but they're happy now. They didn't want to get into details about who was taking their money though. Howard said he didn't want to hear horror stories about being bankrupt or anything like that. They said they're not that bad off. Howard finally plugged the new album and wrapped things up.

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