Stern Show News Archives.
For The Week Of 2/23/98 to 2/27/98
-- Friday February 27, 1998 --
- Stuttering John/Ralph Interviews From the Grammy's. 2/27/98. 6:50am
Stuttering John was at the Grammy awards the other night but he got kicked out after 10 minutes or so. He got to interview Julio Iglasias for a couple of minutes but the questions were repeats of a previous interview done with Julio. Ralph also got in to ask some questions. He got George Clinton and Busta Rhymes. George Clinton answered a bunch of nutty questions and seemed to have fun with them. Busta also had fun with the questions. I'm sorry I don't have a more detailed report but I was in the leaving for work when Howard started playing the tape.
- Daniel Carver Movie Reviews. 2/27/98. 7:05am
KKK guy Daniel Carver called in this morning to do his latest movie review. Howard had another guest on the phone at the same time. Sam Pearson III, author of The Color of Racism : Understanding & Overcoming Discrimination, was there to see if he could change Daniel's poor attitude toward other races. Needless to say the guy couldn't get through to Daniel. He tried to tell Daniel that if he loved himself then he could love other people. Daniel says that he loves himself and still hates other people. Daniel had one movie review to start off with and that was ''Torch Song Trilogy'' which is about a couple of gay people. Of course Daniel hated the movie and gave it the lowest rating which is 0 burning crosses. Howard also said that Daniel had seen late night tv shows ''Vibe'' and ''Keenan'' so he asked for a review of those two shows. Daniel hated ''Vibe'' because according to him Sinbad, the host, is racist! He liked ''Keenan'' a little more because they show cartoons on it. ''Vibe'' got 0 burning crosses and ''Keenan'' managed 1 burning cross. Then Daniel mentioned that he saw ''Titanic'' and said it was a good movie giving it a 4 burning cross review. Sam Pearson asked Daniel what he thought of the movie ''Rosewood''. Daniel really liked that movie because some black people were killed in it. He gave ''Rosewood'' a 5 burning cross review which I believe is his highest review ever!
- David Schwimmer Comes In. 2/27/98. 7:40am
Actor David Schwimmer from ''Friends'' came in to plug his new movie ''Kissing A Fool''. As David was coming in Howard said that David is a big fan of the show and he listens all the time. Howard's a big fan of ''Friends'' also. Howard and David talked about all of the hot women he works with on the tv show. Howard asked him if he's ever had 2 women in bed at the same time. David said he's never had that. He only had one girlfriend through all of high school! He said he was an awkward kid. He was short and chubby and had a moustache at age 13. Howard took some calls from listeners and I was lucky enough to get through. I asked David if he ever got a boner while kissing Jennifer Aniston on the show. He said he's been ''aroused'' but it's hard to get wood when all the crew is around. Howard can't understand that because he got a boner during the shooting of his movie. Howard also asked David if he had to choose one of the three women on the show to sleep with, which one would it be. He chose Jennifer Aniston over Courtney Cox and Lisa Kudrow. Good choice! David also admitted that he saw Jennifer and Courtney naked in their dressing room. He said he once accidentally walked in on them. He didn't see a lot but did see the corner of a boob on at least one of them. The subject of Jennifer Aniston's constantly erect nipples also came up. David said that the other members of the crew sometimes have to tell her that she shouldn't wear a certain shirt because it shows off the nipples. David was a pretty good guest. He didn't seem to hold back on anything.
- The Mike Walker Gossip Game. 2/27/98. 8:45am
This was the most bizarre Mike Walker game ever. Howard had a few guests in to play the game. He had this guy Steve who has some weird theory about Hitler still being around or something. He also had in 2 black Jewish Israelites(?) who just droned on and on about religious crap. Elephant Boy also showed up to plug an appearance he's making in March. The black guys were really angry and weren't there to have fun. Steve was just plain weird and he wasn't interested in playing any games. When Elephant Boy's sexual preference was brought up the black guys said that what he's done with men is unacceptable. Elephant Boy got very offended and walked out of the studio. Howard had to play the gossip game without him. Here are this week's 4 stories. One of them is false, try to pick it.
The two asswipes who droned on about religious crap didn't play the game. When Howard asked them which story was false one guy answered something about the story of Christ being white was the false one. His buddy just said ''ditto''. Steve the Hitler guy gave some weird answer too. Robin, Jackie, Fred and Howard all chose number 3 as the false story. For the first time everyone was correct. Number 3 was the false story. Howard said that he enjoyed the black Jews so he'll have them back in the future. There was an overwhelming amount of phone calls coming in while they were on according to Howard. Elephant Boy came back in after everyone else had gone. He stuck around for the rest of the show. He's appearing some place in Ft. Meyers Florida on March 6. You can find the info at www.pegasusconcerts.com
- Bill Murray recently got his tie stuck in a taxi cab door. The cab pulled away and Bill had to run along next to it for about 50 feet. He yelled at the cab driver.
- Mariah Carey gets a manicure at 4am in her bedroom.
- Cindy Crawford discovered that she can use Preparation H to tighten up her sagging breasts for photo shoots.
- Drew Carey recently purchased 10 pair of Dennis Franz's pants at a garage sale. Drew told Mrs. Franz that he's seen Dennis' ass on tv so he knows they'll fit.
-- Thursday February 26, 1998 --
- Celestine Tate Has Died. 2/26/98. 6:15am
Celestine Tate, the armless and legless woman who played the keyboard with her tongue, has died. 2 weeks ago she was hit by 2 cars while rolling down the streets of Atlantic City on her motorized gurny. Captain Janks called in with the news this morning and Robin confirmed it later in the show during the news segment. Celestine was a guest on the show a few times. She played her keyboard on the boardwalk in Atlantic City for money. The boardwalk just won't be the same without ''Amazing Grace'' being tongued on her Casio.
- Air Force Memo Forbids Stern Listening. 2/26/98. 7:00am
Howard talked about some memo that was issued to Air Force members down in Charleston South Carolina. The memo basically said that Air Force members were forbidden from listening to Howard's show while in their work areas. Howard said that the military was back peddling on the issue saying that they aren't forbidden from doing so. Howard had the memo with the Lieutenant's name on it. He had Gary call the guy during the show. Later in the morning Gary came in and said that he'd called the Lt. but when the guy found out who it was he hung up on him. Gary tried calling back for about an hour and the phone was off the hook. What a way to handle it Lieutenant Mullen! Howard pointed out that these guys are prepared to go to war but they're not allowed to listen to a controversial radio show..
- Old Dirty Bastard From Wutang Clan Comes In. 2/26/98. 7:30am
If you watched the Grammy awards last night you may have seen this guy run up on stage and take over the microphone from Shawn Coleman. Old Dirty Bastard (ODB) complained that his group Wutang Clan didn't win the best rap album award. He also complained that he spent a lot of money on his clothes because he thought they would win. ODB came on the show this morning to talk about the incident. Howard spent about 45 minutes talking to the guy. First of all he should be upset about the clothes he was wearing because they ''costed'' him $4000. He said that he didn't even know who he was interrupting when he went on stage. He just went up when he felt the need. ODB said that he wasn't trying to put down the rappers he mentioned during his speech but he feels he's better. He said he has ''..a certain style that captures all artises(artists)..'' Howard also talked to 29 year old ODB about his 13 children. ODB didn't want to get into that subject too much but it was an interesting subject. He started making the babies at age 16 and hasn't stopped yet. He says that he supports all of them. There was another interesting story that came up about ODB saving a child's life. Apparently he came up on an accident scene where a child was pinned under a car. He and some other people lifted the car off the little girl and helped save her life. Howard said they should call him ''Super Bastard'' instead of Old Dirty Bastard. Before ODB left Howard asked him if he could name all 13 of his kids, ODB didn't have an answer.
- Kurt Loder From MTV Comes In. 2/26/98. 8:40am
Kurt Loder from MTV came in to plug a new show that he's doing called ''Ultrasound''. The show airs Sunday nights at 10:00pm on MTV and this week's show features Madonna. The Madonna interview was shot back in October and while they were doing it they got some video of Madonna's baby Lordess or LardAss as Howard likes to call her. Madonna recently called the president of MTV and asked that the shots of her baby be removed from the special because she doesn't want her child to be seen in the public eye or something like that. Howard asked Kurt if Madonna has hair on her upper lip. Kurt said ''maybe'' but wouldn't confirm it. Howard said that he thought he'd seen a bit of a moustache on her before. Kurt brought a clip from the special but you could barely hear what Madonna was saying because the music MTV put over it was drowning it out. This interview didn't last too long since Howard had a Star Trek trivia nut waiting in the wings. Kurt did hang out for quite a while though.
- Star Trek Trivia With Randy Goldstein. 2/26/98. 8:55am
When this guy came in he was carrying a bunch of Star Trek toys, wearing a Star Trek uniform shirt and he just wouldn't listen to Howard. He had his own agenda and he wouldn't shut up. Howard called him ''scarier than Old Dirty Bastard''. His nuttiness was explained when he said he was friends with Benjy the intern who's a bit of a strange guy himself. He claims to be an expert on the old Star Trek series. After a few questions that he couldn't answer he did come through with some answers to some very odd questions. Questions came from callers. The whole time he was there he was playing with his Star Trek toys. Some of them made noise and he didn't hesitate to demonstrate. Howard let the guy spend quite a while in the studio but eventually had to kick him out because he was so damn annoying. He wasn't getting the hint that he should leave so Howard had to just come right out and say it.
-- Wednesday February 25, 1998 --
- Melissa Rivers And Todd Newton Come In. 2/25/98. 7:25am
Joan Rivers daughter Melissa and her co-host from E! came on to plug their E! special. They're doing a pre-show for the Grammy's tonight. Her co-host, Todd Newton, is the guy who's dating Deborah Gibson. When Debbie was on the show back in January she told Howard that she and Todd were just talking on the phone and faxing each other. Now it seems that Todd has closed the deal with Debbie. He didn't say when it happened but he finally got her. The producer of the E! special was with Melissa and Todd. She is Marlon Brando's daughter Michelle. Howard spent a while talking to all three of them. Nothing real exciting coming from any of them other than the fact that Todd finally banged Debbie Gibson. Brando's daughter kept quiet during most of the interview. She didn't want to talk about her father much. Melissa was showing off her huge engagement ring. There will also be a post-Grammy show that will air after Howard's show tonight.
- Boris Gardner Performs His Song ''Every nig*er Is A Star''. 2/25/98. 8:15am
Someone sent Howard a song from the early '70's called ''Every nig*er Is A Star''. After he played it the other day Gary searched for the guy who originally sang it and found him. Howard talked to the guy on the phone about the song and ended up inviting him to the studio to perform it live. The guy accepted the invite and came down today with a band and backup singers. Boris is from Jamaica and is still writing and singing songs. Howard also heard that the song was remade a couple of times by fellow Jamaicans. Boris and his band did a nice job performing the song. It sounded very close to the 1974 recording. Some people called in who were offended by the words in the song. Boris says that it's not intended to be an offensive song. Some people will find any song with the word ''nig*er'' in it offensive. Even Howard was amazed that the song was even made and released by a record company. The movie wasn't a hit so I don't think you'll be able to find it in your local video rental store.
- Howard Punishes High Pitched Eric. 2/25/98. 8:35am
The other day Howard found out that High Pitched Eric had gone on another New York radio station. This pissed Howard off so he felt he had to punish him somehow. It may not have been the best idea but Howard decided to spank H.P. Eric. Eric came in this morning to take his punishment but he seemed a little too eager to get the spanking. When Howard called him over to spank him he didn't hesitate to pull down his pants. By the way, Howard was wearing a glove. So Howard asked Eric when his last bowel movement was so he wouldn't be surprised by anything. Eric said it was this morning but he'd showered after it. Howard had Eric bend over and he spanked him a couple of times but it looked so gay that he didn't do it for long. Eric said it hurt but he seemed to almost enjoy it. That wasn't quite enough punishment for him so later in the show when a woman called in offering to date Eric Howard told him that he was just going to hang up on her to punish him. Well it didn't really matter because the woman was part of another Sal The Stockbroker phony phone call. Eric says that he will never do another radio show. He got to spend the rest of the morning just hanging out in the studio. What kind of punishment is that?
- Tommy Lee Arrested? 2/25/98. 9:55am
Some guy out in California called Howard saying that he was outside some police station or something where Tommy Lee was being held on assault charges. Tommy allegedly assaulted his wife Pamela and was arrested. The guy on the phone said he could see Tommy through a window. He was trying to get Tommy's attention so he could get him to say something to Howard. The guy ended up writing on a piece of paper and holding it up to the window so Tommy could see it. He wrote that Howard was on the phone but Tommy turned away from the window. The police in the room were laughing at the guy. Then Howard had the guy write something about Howard wanting to know the address to go to so he could comfort Pam. The cops were amused but Tommy wasn't. Eventually Tommy was brought outside to a van to be moved somewhere else so the guy with the phone tried to get an exclusive interview. He held the phone up to Tommy's ear but Tommy head-butted it away.
-- Tuesday February 24, 1998 (Replayed on Master Tape Theatre, July 10, 2011) --
- Ralph At The Star Trek Convention. 2/24/98. 6:50am
Howard played some more tape of Ralph at the Star Trek convention to play today. Yesterday he had tape of him asking Terry Farrell out on a date. Today he had Ralph interviewing some of the ''Trekkers'' at the event. Ralph was asking them what the difference was between a ''Trekkie'' and a ''Trekker''. According to the ''Trekkers'' that Ralph questioned, ''Trekkies'' are people who are just fans of Star Trek who would be excited to see William Shatner at the convention. A ''Trekker'' is a fan who doesn't really care about seeing Shatner at the event and would rather go to the 23rd century to live the life of Captain Kirk. Ralph also interviewed a bunch of the nuts who get dressed up like characters on the show. Some of them even learn the alien languages for some odd reason. Ralph asked a bunch of the ''Trekkers'' how much money they've spent on Star Trek memorabilia. The amount spent ranged from about $500 to $250,000!
- Corey Feldman And His Father Call In. 2/24/98. 7:40am
About a year ago Corey Feldman and his father wound up on Howard's show together. Howard was out in California at the time and Corey's father tagged along with Jack Gordon to the show. He and Corey weren't getting along so they got in a bit of a fight at the time. Since then Corey's father had been calling Gary trying to get on the show to straighten out some things he felt were lied about by Corey. Howard had them on the phone today to see if they could work things out. To make a long story short.. after 45 minutes of arguing on the phone they still hadn't worked things out. When they fought the last time Corey had accused his father of spending all of his money before he was old enough to spend it himself. Mr. Feldman had all kinds of paper work that he said would show he was innocent. Corey didn't care. What he remembered was how all of his money was gone and he seemed to remember his father spending quite a bit of it. It kind of sounded like Mr. Feldman wanted to get together with his son but it was very insincere. It seemed more like he just wanted to clear his name. Howard kept trying to end the arguing but it wasn't that easy. Eventually they gave up and moved on.
- Karen's Greatest Ass Challenge. 2/24/98. 8:40am
This woman Karen called in yesterday claiming that she had the greatest ass in the world. She explained how some old man offered to give her $50 if he could put it in her pants himself because he liked her ass so much. They way they were going to do this was to have 3 women with nice asses lined up and the judges would have to guess which one was the greatest. Well, the other 2 women didn't show up so they just judged her ass alone. It was the same group of judges as in yesterday's Penthouse thing: Ralph, Big Black and O.J. Mask. Karen came in and it turns out she's a black woman. She just had a kid 22 months ago. She said that she doesn't have any stretch marks on her. She's also an actress so she should look pretty good. She had a small part in ''Passenger 57'' and she was on ''Outta Here'' on Nickelodeon. Howard tried to rush through the thing since Meredith Brooks was waiting in the green room. Karen pulled down her pants and shook her ass a little so the judges could see if it actually was the greatest ass. O.J. Mask gave her ass an 8 out of 10. Ralph gave it a 7 and Big Black gave it a 7.5. They all agreed that it wasn't the best ass in the world but it was pretty nice. Ralph pointed out that there were some dimples and stretch marks on it. The title of ''Worlds Greatest Ass'' is still waiting to be filled.
- Meredith Brooks Performs ''Bitch''. 2/24/98. 8:50am
Grammy nominated singer Meredith Brooks came in to perform her hit song ''Bitch'' this morning. The judges from the ''Greatest Ass'' challenge were still in the studio when she came in. Howard had them give their ratings of Meredith and the scores weren't too bad. O.J. Mask said he'd rate her at an 8 or 9 but Ralph only gave her a 7. Big Black chimed in with a 7.5. Howard was a bit nicer with a 9. Howard interviewed Meredith for a few minutes about why she doesn't like to talk about her real age and about her marriage, neither of which she really wanted to talk about. Eventually Meredith got around to playing her song although it sounded like her guitar was out of tune or something. There's something to be said for a properly engineered recording.
-- Monday February 23, 1998 --
- New Station - WAVF 96.1 - Charleston, South Carolina! 2/23/98. 6:10am
Howard's up to 42 markets with this station added. This is the first of a few new markets Howard has coming up in the next few weeks. I received an e-mail from a guy who says that Howard will be starting in Providence, Rhode Island March 16 on 106.3.
- Daniel Carver's Daughter Married To Native American? 2/23/98. 7:00am
A woman called in this morning claiming that she knows KKK member Daniel Carver's daughter. She said that his daughter was married to an Indian. Since Howard doesn't think that Daniel would allow such a thing he got him on the phone to find out if it was true. Daniel got on the phone and called the woman a liar. He said that the guy was not Native American and that he and his parents were in the Klan. Daniel even said that he'd bring his daughter and family up to New York to prove it. Howard thought that sounded like a good idea so it may happen in the near future. Daniel's daughter isn't married to that guy anymore. I don't know if he'll be coming or not but she has children from the marriage so they may come. I don't think Daniel has been on the show live before. He did appear on Howard's WWOR tv show back in 1990 or so.
- Ralph Visits Star Trek Convention. 2/23/98. 7:35am
Howard sent Ralph to some Star Trek convention the other day. I guess he was interviewing ''Trekies'' and ''Trekers'' but the tape that Howard played this morning was more interesting. Howard told Ralph to try and ask out this woman who's on ''Star Trek:Deep Space Nine'', Terry Farrel. Ralph got to interview her with the usual dopey questions. Ralph asked her sex questions and stuff like that. While he was doing this she was flirting with him. She said that he didn't seem gay to her. She's also a fan of Howard's show so she knew who Ralph was. She even said he was cute. Ralph did find out a couple of interesting things from her. She had sex with Mickey Rourke on an MGM Grand airline flight and she once had sex in a parking lot. So after he interviewed her he made his move. He asked if she'd like to go out and get a drink after the convention and she said that she would. She has a boyfriend over in London but she took him up on the offer. They went out for drinks with some other people. They didn't have sex or anything but who knows what will happen in the future. Howard had Terry on the phone the whole time. She really did think that Ralph was cute. Actually, she said that she was going to cancel her appearance at the convention until she heard that Ralph was going to interview her. It turns out that she and Howard have the same agent, Don Buchwald. Don must have told her what was going on.
- Sue Gets Judged On Looks For Penthouse Magazine. 2/23/98. 8:15am
This woman's husband wrote a letter to Howard telling him that his wife is really hot and that she wants to be in Penthouse Magazine. Howard had her come down to be judged by a panel of experts today. The experts were Big Black, Ralph and O.J. mask. These were the same three guys who played the homeless game last Friday. The woman and her husband came in but Howard kicked the husband out right away. Howard said the woman was pretty cute but according to a couple of the judges she wasn't that great. She's 35 years old with B-cup breasts. They're a little small to be featured in Penthouse. She kept saying that they're natural and you don't see many natural breasts in Penthouse. That didn't make a difference to the judges. Howard had Sue strip down so the judges could see her body. Ralph said that she was pretty hot but not good enough to be in Penthouse. Her ass was a little flat, her hair was ''ratty'' and she wasn't that attractive. Ralph said he'd go out with her but she doesn't belong in the magazine. He gave her a rating of 7 out of a possible 10. Big Black said that she looked like Mr. Bentley from The Jeffersons. He also said that her chest was too small and her ass was hanging too much. Her body was good but only good enough to get a 7 of 10 rating. OJ mask was in agreement with the other two judges. He said that her hair was bad and that she'd be better off in Field and Stream magazine than Penthouse. He also gave her a 7. Howard took some test photos of her to send into Penthouse but she probably won't be making it in there.
- Robbie Knievel Calls In. 2/23/98. 8:55am
Stuntman Robbie Knievel called in to promote his latest stunt. Tuesday night on FOX at 8:00 Robbie will be attempting a record motorcycle jump in Las Vegas. The show will be live and he'll be attempting to jump over 30 limos. When Robbie called in Howard was expecting him to bad mouth his father Evel. Well, Robbie had nothing but good things to say about his father. Howard had heard that Robbie hated his father and was trying to beat all of his records so he could rub it in his face. Someone had told Gary all of this information about a year ago. At the time Robbie and his father weren't on speaking terms but now they're back together. Robbie said that he was just with his father last night and things are fine between them. He said that his father was a great guy when he was growing up but also said that he left home at age 16. Howard said that kids don't usually leave home at 16 if they're getting along with their parents. So the interview probably didn't go as good as Howard had hoped. I was hoping to hear Robbie bad mouth his father too. The guy was kind of strange too. He was rambling about a bunch of different things and skipping over subjects like crazy. I guess you have to be a little strange to jump over 30 limos.
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