-- Friday January 30, 1998 --
- New Station Added - WNAP 93.1 Indianapolis Indiana! 1/30/98. 6:00am
Howard made 2 quick mentions of this new station during the big birthday show. As of today WNAP 93.1 in Indianapolis is broadcasting Howard's show. Welcome people of Indianapolis!
- The Howard Stern Birthday Show. 1/30/98. 6am to 7am
Well the show finally happened, only 2 and half weeks late! Howard was surprised when he was brought to the Hammerstein Ballroom last night for the surprise birthday show. Yes that's right, they taped the show last night and played it this morning. The show was somewhat edited for this morning. From what a certain DJ on K-Rock told me, some songs may have been edited out of the broadcast this morning. The show was exactly 4 hours this morning and they were playing some bits during the show that kind of broke it up. It's better when they do it live. Anyway I've broken down today's broadcast into hourly segments to make it easier to read. Here's what happened between 6 and 7: Howard came in surprised, said he thought he was going to a meeting with CBS but his agent brought him to the party instead. Howard talked to a couple of wack pack members. The first guest, New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, wished Howard a happy birthday. He gave Howard a Rudy Tie and a Rudy scarf for Robin. Howard talked to his Mother. Howard accepted gifts from a couple of sponsors like Brother International, Heinekin Beer and Fidelity Diamond. Howard talked to Crackhead Bob who said his wedding is off for now. His fiance wants him to be George instead of Crackhead Bob and she doesn't want the rest of the wack pack at the wedding. Howard also spoke to Lonny Hanover from Scores. He called Lonny the most important guest at the party. A pregnant Sandra Bernhard came in to wish Howard a happy birthday. Howard had heard rumors about Sandra being pregnant and they turned out to be true. She wouldn't tell Howard who the father is though.
- The Howard Stern Birthday Show. 1/30/98. 7am to 8am
Evan the 16 year old kid who runs Bumble Bee tuna came in to give Howard his gifts. New York Governor George Pataki visited. Sponsors Modell's Sporting Goods and Snapple gave Howard some gifts. Glen Foley, quarterback for the New York Jets, made a quick visit. Howard talked quickly to Slow Adam, Big Blackie and the Scores girls. Another big surprise this morning was the return of 'Gina Man and Crazy Jerry. These two maniacs haven't been on the show in years. Howard seemed pretty surprised to see them. He asked where 'Gina Man had been. He said that he had a fractured skull or something like that.
- The Howard Stern Birthday Show. 1/30/98. 8am to 9am
Howard talked quickly to Fred's wife Alison, Stuttering John's wife Suzanna and his own wife Alison. He talked to Nicole Bass who said she's become a professional wrestler. 'Gina Man made some more wacky comments. Howard talked to Hank The Angry Dwarf. Hank was drunk so they gave him a breathalyzer test. For some reason they had the breathalyzer right there. After a couple of tries the 4'1'' dwarf finally blew a .256! That's 2 ½ times the legal limit in New York! Good thing he doesn't drive! Hanks face was all beat up and it turns out he fell down a flight of stairs the night before. Dominic Barbara made a quick appearance. David Bowie performed ''Fame'' and ''I'm Afraid Of Americans''. Howard told Bowie that the first gift his wife bought for him was a Bowie album. Howard was amazed and thrilled by Bowie's appearance. Howard accepted a gift from Maxim Magazine. Eddie and Alex Van Halen were live by satellite to talk with Howard. Eddie and Alex spent a few minutes trying to understand what Howard was saying to them through a small speaker. Eddie said his birthday was this past Monday. Eddie also keeps claiming that David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar both quit the band, they weren't thrown out like they keep saying.
- The Howard Stern Birthday Show. 1/30/98. 9am to 10am
Sponsor Ranch One Chicken gave a gift to Howard. They offered a trip anywhere in the United States for Howard's wife and kids so Howard can be home alone. Howard's wife was talking to some of the Scores girls. He said that his two worlds aren't supposed to collide like that. Howard talked to his sister Ellen. She said that she loves him and he's the best brother in the world. Howard talked to Colt 40-Feinberg. Cold Ease said their gift, an Armani statue, was on it's way. Howard talked to Uzo and her girlfriend. Uzo said she spends tons of money on her new girlfriend. She spent $10,000 shopping for her yesterday. Howard talked to Ratso Sloman and 'Gina Man again. 'Gina Man said he's sorry Jackie is back. Slomin's Alarm gave Howard a gift. Megadeath performed ''Trust''. Lead singer Dave Mustaine talked to Howard for a little while. He talked about being in rehab 15 times and how his wife just gave birth to a baby girl yesterday. That pretty much ended the show...
For more ''inside'' information from the birthday show you may want to check out The Interactive King Of All Media Newsletter.
-- Thursday January 29, 1998 --
- Gary's Revenge On Sal The Stockbroker. 1/29/98. 6:15am
Sal the Stockbroker is this guy who makes phony phone calls to Gary calling him a ''Horse toothed jackass''. Gary got the chance to get back at Sal yesterday. Howard had Stuttering John call Sal and tell him that Howard wanted to talk to him. Howard got on the phone and told Sal that he'd like to give him a job doing phony phone calls for the show. Howard played it straight and Sal was going for it. Then Howard told him to hold on so he could put Gary on the phone to let him know when he could start. Gary got on the phone and told Sal that he would forget about what had happened in the past. Then he tells him that he can start ''..February 34th.. you HORSE TOOTHED JACKASS...'' So Gary managed to get a little bit of revenge on Sal. After Howard played the tape he had Sal on the phone. He was still goofing on Gary more than ever. He was making fun of his teeth and breath and all of that good stuff. Gary tried to keep up with the insults by rubbing it in that he'd never work for the show. Sal hung in there and relentlessly goofed on Gary.
- Sweaty Spice, The Lost Spice Girl. 1/29/98. 7:20am
A woman came in as ''Sweaty Spice'', a Spice Girl who was kicked out of the group. This was a goof of course.. The woman had a really annoying British accent and she yelled a lot. She went on to explain why they call her ''Sweaty''. It's because she doesn't bathe and the sweat in her ass makes her stink. She also said that the Spice Girls changed their nick names from Stink Hole Spice, Whore Face Spice, Hose Bag Spice, Anal Baby and Dyke-a-licious Spice to whatever the hell they're called today. She said that she has dingleberries the size of Ho-Ho's and that creates the ''Girl Power'' that the Spice Girls are always talking about.
- Howard Talks To Geraldo. 1/29/98. 7:45am
Howard and Robin were talking about how they saw that Geraldo did the eulogy for Katie Couric's dead husband the other day. Howard wanted to find out how and why Geraldo got to do that. Geraldo got on the phone after his wife woke him up. Howard wasn't goofing on the death because the guy left 2 young kids behind. He died from colon cancer at the age of 42. Geraldo explained that he had become friends with Katie's husband about 4 years ago and they'd become close in that time. That led to his eulogy for the guy. Howard and Geraldo also spent a little bit of time talking about President Clinton and about the fact that Geraldo is like the second highest paid guy at NBC.
- Fabio Comes In. 1/29/98. 8:05am
Yesterday Howard was talking about how he had been watching a case Court TV where Fabio was being sued by some woman. He said that he felt sorry for Fabio because his accent made him come off kind of dumb in the court case. Well Fabio won the case and came in this morning to discuss it with Howard. A woman was trying to sue him for $6 Million over some piece of paper he'd signed years ago. It wasn't a contract. It was just an agreement that never amounted to anything. He won the case and was thrilled about it today. A little while into the interview Fabio's old manager Peter called in. He had some things to say about the testimony Fabio had given on Court TV. He wanted Fabio to straighten it out but Fabio didn't know what he was talking about. The two of them went at it for about 25 minutes. They didn't get anywhere and it sounds like this Peter guy is also going to take Fabio to court. It was all one big mess for about a half hour. Peter was accusing Fabio of all kinds of stuff and Fabio was accusing Peter of more stuff.. what a nightmare. It lasted way too long but it was sort of interesting.
-- Wednesday January 28, 1998 --
- Surprise! The JokeMan Returns! 1/28/98. 6:25am
Just before Howard took his first commercial break around 6:10 he said something about ''..the return of JokeMan..'' When they came back from commercial he announced that Jackie has worked out things with the company and has come back to work. Howard said he knew Jackie was back by the smell of alcohol in the studio. Things were back to normal and Howard didn't spend much time on the subject. A few callers welcomed Jackie back when they got through. This should cut my e-mails in half!
- Entertainment Weekly's Movie List. 1/28/98. 6:30am
Howard was reading Entertainment Weekly and found a list of movies that came out in 1997. They listed how much each movie made. There were over 140 movies listed and ''Private Parts'' came out number 51. The movie made over $40 million at the box office in the U.S. and did quite well in video rentals. After all of that and the USA Network purchase for the rights to air it on cable the movie has done over $80 Million. Not bad for Howard's first movie. ''Private Parts'' will be airing on HBO starting in February. The video tape also goes on sale for $14.95 starting in February.
- Melrose Larry Green Bores Us Once Again. 1/28/98. 8:35am
Melrose Larry is claiming that he's opening up for comedian Jackie Mason tonight at a 4000 seat show. Howard and Robin don't believe him. Howard let Melrose come on the air for a few minutes to talk about it but he got off the subject immediately. Melrose started to welcome Jackie back but Howard stopped him to get him back on the subject of Jackie Mason. Melrose was doing some of his horrible jokes for Howard but they were just plain dumb. How Jackie Mason thinks this guy is funny is beyond me. Luckily Howard didn't stick with Melrose too long. Melrose said he'd be taping his opening act so Howard can hear it. Great, another bore-fest when he calls in with that crap.
- David Spade Comes In. 1/28/98. 8:45am
David Spade came in to hang out and plug a few things today. David was one of Chris Farley's best friends and everyone was surprised that he didn't show up at the funeral. Howard was wondering about that also so he tried to find out why. David kind of avoided answering it directly a couple of times. He explained how he and Chris had pretty much gone their separate ways in the past couple of years. He hated to see Chris doing what he was doing to himself. David also said that he thinks Chris had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Chris did some strange things when they worked together. David said that Chris would have to touch the ground a certain number of times before doing a scene. David thinks that Chris drank heavily for attention. Howard had to take a break in the middle of the interview.After the break they came back and Howard was saying how David talks about women when they're not on the air. David wasn't talking much about women before the break but during it he was saying how good looking the ''Ally McBeal'' chick is. After the break David still didn't want to talk about women much. Eventually he did get around to answering the question about why he wasn't at the funeral. He explained how his best friend died when he was 21 and it freaked him out. He thought that going to Chris' funeral would do the same thing so he didn't go. Howard asked him where he was when he heard about Chris' death. David was at work on the NBC sitcom ''Just Shoot Me''. He said he had to walk off the set when he heard. He cried for about 20 minutes. Howard chimed in with a ''AHAGGOT'' when he heard that. He had to lighten up the mood. David went back to work the next day. Before David left Howard had to meet his publicist Mariessa. She was really hot according to Gary and Howard. Here's what David was plugging today... He stars in ''Just Shoot Me'' on NBC Tuesday nights at 9:30, he's got a movie coming out February 20 called ''Senseless'' with Marlon Wayans and he'll be filming an HBO special in his home town of Phoenix AZ sometime soon.
- President Clinton Sits In During The News. 1/28/98. 9:55am
Howard had a guy pretending to be President Clinton sit in during the news for a while. Howard talked to him for a short period of time before the news but the guy couldn't read his script. It was pretty funny but this President Clinton crap is really wearing thin.
-- Tuesday January 27, 1998 --
- Tattoo Talk/When Will Steve Grillo Finally Leave? 1/27/98. 7:45am
Yesterday Howard mentioned that he wanted to get another tattoo this past weekend. The only problem was that his tattoo artist, Sean Vasquez, wasn't at the shop. Sean called in today to apologize for not being there. He was at a tattoo convention down south. Howard said he wants to get another one done, maybe this coming weekend. This discussion led to Howard talking to Steve Grillo about his horrible tattoo. They also mentioned that Scott Einziger from E! just got one that wraps around his arm.Since Steve Grillo was in the studio Howard decided to talk about what's happening with him. Grillo was supposed to be quitting his job and heading to Los Angeles to pursue a career in the movie business. He was supposed to be gone by the middle of the month. Now it turns out that he's going to be around until February 13. Gary explained how he's already hired a new guy who is supposed to start tomorrow but Grillo is staying longer than anticipated. Gary told Grillo that he wasn't pushing him to leave but they have to move on. Grillo just wants to stay on because something new has come up. He's going to be a Casting Director(!) for an independent film called ''Keep The Change''. Howard can't believe that Grillo, who's still getting Howard's breakfast, is going to be a casting director with no experience. Grillo is going to study in the month and a half that he has between jobs. He doesn't even know how much money he's going to get from this new job. Anything is better than what he made working at WXRK. He said he made about $9000 there last year. He made up for that in personal appearances though. He made about $30,000 total.
- Gary Garver Interviews From American Music Awards. 1/27/98. 8:25am
Gary Garver from KLSX in Los Angeles went to The American Music Awards last night and got a couple of celebrity interviews. He got Boyz 2 Men, Tricia Yearwood, Julio Iglacias, Bone Thugs & Harmony, Tony Bennett, Drew Carey and Puff Daddy. He asked Boyz 2 Men questions like ''Did you know you spelled 'boys' wrong?'', ''Do you have a large gay following?'' and ''Is the Pope evil?''. The guys hung in there and answered the questions without getting too upset. Tricia Yearwood was a little different. Here's an example ''Is country music music to lynch people by?''. Gary got off a couple more but the last one mentioned farting and off she went. Julio Iglacias didn't last too long with the questions because he said he didn't understand them. Here's what was asked ''Why is your son so jealous of you?'' and ''Should the Pope be condemned for criticizing the United States?'' Julio went running off faster than Tricia Yearwood. Bone Thugs & Harmony stuck around for a couple of lame questions. Tony Bennett was asked about the President Clinton situation and he just said that they should ''..leave him alone..'' then he walked away. The strangest things offend people don't they? Drew Carey was up next. Gary asked him ''Why are there so few blacks on your sitcom?'' and ''Have you ever been hit on by a gay guy?'' Drew answered them okay but when Gary asked ''Would you ever have sex with a man if it would help your career?'' Drew got a little ticked off and said ''Bye''. Puff Daddy didn't say a word in his interview. Gary asked him a bizarre question about agreeing with something Chuck D said in his book. It was a really strange question and Puff Daddy didn't answer it. Well, that was it for those interviews.
- Actor Robert Duvall Comes In. 1/27/98. 8:35am
The way Howard was talking about Robert Duvall you'd think he was in love with him. He kissed his ass like you wouldn't believe. Howard thinks that Robert Duvall is ''a real actor''. He was amazed that the actor came on the show. There was a good reason for it though. Mr. Duvall put up close to $5 million for his own movie. The movie company that bought the film probably wanted as much exposure as possible so they booked him on the show. The movie, ''The Apostle'', starts this Friday. Howard said that he watched the movie yesterday and really liked it. Mr. Duvall wrote the movie 13 years ago and finally had the chance to bring it to life. Howard and Robert spent at least 45 minutes talking non-stop. Duvall seemed to be enjoying the interview. He was telling Howard that he was at the White House this weekend showing the movie to President Clinton. He didn't talk to the President about all of the stuff that's been going on with him though. Howard wanted to find out what Robert thought of some actors so he read off a bunch of names. He wanted Duvall to give a 1 to 10 rating but he didn't want to do that. He would just say ''talented'' or ''good director'' for each. Here are some of the actors Howard brought up.
- Nicholas Cage - Okay
- Robert Dinero - Great
- Jody Foster - Talented
- Jack Nicolson - Talented
- Woody Allen - Good director
- Billy Crystal - Funny guy
- Cher - Alright
It was obvious that he didn't want to bad mouth anyone in the business. But then they got on the subject of France. Howard has talked about how he dislikes the French. Robert also made it clear that he doesn't think too highly of them. At one point he said ''Screw 'em!.. They remind me of Germans with style..''
- It's Over Jackie. 1/27/98. 9:35am
A caller asked Howard about an article that appeared in the New York Times this past weekend. It said something about Jackie re-signing with the show and coming back. Well Howard said that it looks like it wasn't true and as far as he knows, the negotiations are off. If that's true then it looks like Jackie won't be back. I get a lot of e-mails here from people who have e-mailed Jackie and they all get a form letter back saying ''Stay tuned, It's not over'' or something like that ... That's not what Howard hears.
- Why Howard's Not Broadcasting On The Web. 1/27/98. 9:45am
Everyone on the web wants to know.. ''Is there anyone broadcasting Howard's show on the web?'' Well, someone finally asked Howard about it on the air today. He said that he will not be broadcasting the show over the web. He gets paid to broadcast on the radio and if the show were broadcast on the web then no one would want to pay him. Howard said that he's had some sites closed down because they were broadcasting his show illegally over the web. If you can't hear a radio signal broadcasting Howard's show then you're out of luck.
-- Monday January 26, 1998 --
- Howard Loses Big On Super Bowl. 1/26/98. 6:05am
Howard came out the big loser in the Super Bowl bets from last Friday. He said he lost about $450 or so on the many bets he'd made last week. He lost just about bet he made. Even the coin toss he got screwed out of. Stuttering John made out a little bit better. He won about $250 or so. Howard was pretty upset about losing but he paid up. Actually he gave his money to Stuttering John to dole out to the winners but John left the cash lying on a counter top out in the open somewhere. Steve Grillo found it and told Howard. Nothing came of it but it was a really stupid thing to do. If you'd like to see how the bets were set check out this web site: members.tripod.com/~lizzland/superbowl.html
- Jay Leno Calls In. 1/26/98. 6:20am
Jay Leno called in to wish Howard a happy birthday a couple of weeks late. Normally Jay is the first caller on Howard's surprise birthday show that Robin throws. Jay was acting like there was no surprise show this week. He and Howard spoke for a little bit about the President Clinton situation. Jay also asked Howard when he was going to be starting his Saturday night show on CBS. Howard is still saying that there's nothing happening at this time. He's had talks with the CBS people but nothing has been set. I guess there's still hope that he'll have a network show sometime in the future.
- Howard's Daughter Turns 5. 1/26/98. 6:50am
Ashley, Howard's youngest daughter, had a birthday party on Saturday. I don't know why I'm even including this here but I guess if you're keeping track of birthdays on the show, this is another one you can add to your list. Howard said that they had a Barbie impersonator and a magician at the party. He also said that there were bunch of hot young mothers there with their kids.
- Howard Kicks Kathie Lee's Ass In Celebrity Deathmatch '98. 1/26/98. 6:55am
During the Super Bowl halftime there was a special claymation show called ''Celebrity Deathmatch '98''. There were a few wrestling matches between celebrities like Howard vs Kathie Lee, Pamela Lee vs Rupaul and Hanson vs The Spice Girls. The first match was between Howard and Kathie Lee. Howard heard about this last week and said that he'd better win against Kathie Lee otherwise it was a bogus show. The clay fighters didn't exactly look like the celebrities they were portraying but it was still very entertaining. Howard played the tape of the match on the air this morning. At first Howard starts getting his ass kicked by Kathie Lee. Then his glasses get knocked off and he accidentally backhand's Kathie Lee. She comes back from behind and puts him in a bear hug. Howard now has her on his back. He bends forward lifting her off the canvas. She keeps squeezing him. He tells her that he has a sensitive bowel and warns her to get off. She's telling him to apologize to her and Frank for all the comments he's made. Then Howard blasts a fart and blows her right through the ropes and out into the crowd. Howard says ''I am the king damn it!'' then Kathie Lee crawls back into the ring. Howard then fires off another fart from his ''Sphincter-cannon''. A gaseous green cloud floats over to Kathie Lee and she melts down to nothing. Then the audience starts puking from the smell. The voice of Howard was done by this guy Elan Gold who has done impressions of Howard in the past. Elan called in and talked about the voice thing. He said he only made about $750 for doing the voice but he figured that since it was Super Bowl haftime it would be a good career move.
- The Kielbasa Queen Comes In. 1/26/98. 8:15am
If you saw ''Private Parts'' you might remember the woman who shoved the 12 inch kielbasa down her throat. If you didn't see it, you're missing quite a show. She and her friend came in to plug their new web site www.kqueen.com. The two women said that they have some very interesting video stuff on the site. The only thing is that it's a pay site. Kielbasa Queen's friend, Deep Throat Dallas, also has a talent for putting things down her throat that just don't belong there. She's able to put half of a 4 foot balloon down there without choking on it. She demonstrated it for Howard and he seemed pretty impressed by it. ''Oh my god, that's amazing'' is what he said when she shoved the balloon down. One of the things available on the site is video of one of them shooting a hot dog into the other's mouth from an area that hot dogs just don't belong. Maybe it's worth the admission.. K. Queen and D.T. Dallas also said that they're bi-sexual and share a man.
- Dick Clark Calls In. 1/26/98. 8:45am
68 year old Dick Clark called in to plug ''The American Music Awards'' today. Dick calls in each year to plug this show for some reason. He usually spends most of the phone call trying not to answer any of Howard's crude questions. Well it was no different today. Dick just wanted to get his plug in but Howard kept after Dick about his penis size and about the President Clinton thing. Dick won't bad mouth anyone. He managed to avoid giving a straight answer to Howard. At one point Howard thought Dick had hung up on him but he didn't. Dick then brought up the fact that he did have to hang up on a Stern-like DJ who asked him something ridiculous. Howard wanted to know what it was that the DJ had asked him but Dick wouldn't say. Howard kept asking and asking but Dick wouldn't get into it. They did end up making an agreement by the end of the phone call though. Dick says that Michael Bolton will be performing some nutty thing on the awards show tonight. If Bolton doesn't get a standing ovation then Dick has to call in and tell Howard what that other DJ said to him. Howard is sure that Bolton won't get a standing ovation. Robin is behind Howard in this also. She's seen Michael Bolton do this thing and she said ''..it's death..''.
- Male Prostitute Who Sells His Pubic Hair Calls In. 1/26/98. 9:50am
Another wacky story from a wacky listener.. A guy claiming to be a male prostitute told Howard that he has a guy come to him with a very strange fetish. He collects pubic hair. I couldn't get all of the details about this story because the delay was hit a few times during the phone call. I guess it was getting a little too graphic for Tom Chiusano. From what I could gather, it sounds like this guy with the fetish has the male prostitute plucking pubic hairs out with tweezers. There's some weird stuff going on out there.
-- Friday January 23, 1998 --
- The Mike Walker Game With Guest Cindy Margolis. 1/23/98. 7:00am
Cindy Margolis, the most downloaded woman on the internet, came in to play the Mike Walker game today. Cindy somehow has become the most downloaded woman according to America Online and Yahoo. Howard was wondering how she became so popular. Cindy didn't even seem to know why. How can she be more popular than Pamela Lee? Ahh who cares? On with the game. Mike Walker from The National Enquirer called in with 4 gossip stories. One of them is false, try to pick it:
- Fran Drescher recorded some demo songs but no record company would pick them up.
- When Leonardo Decaprio lost a phone number for some girl he went back to the store to find out what it was. He ended up with a ton of other phone numbers.
- Teri Hatcher doesn't like trying on clothes in a dressing room so she gets dressed behind the racks of clothing. She thinks that no one looks while she's doing it.
- Ellen Degeneres and girlfriend Anne Hache get massaged together while holding hands lying on two different massage tables.
Cindy picked number one as the fake. Robin and Howard both picked number 4. They were correct. They knew that number 4 was fake because Howard had told Mike a similar story about Barbara Streisand and James Brolin. They had an unfair advantage in the game. Cindy hung around for a little longer and even got into a bikini top for Howard. She said that she had one in her luggage but the luggage never came through when she flew in. Howard has a bunch of bikini's hanging around so she got into one. She claims that her D-Cup breasts are real. An old boyfriend called in and confirmed it. Howard got a hug from her before she left.
- Guess Who's In The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. 1/23/98. 7:45am
Gary had a quick game to play with Howard and Robin. Gary would name 3 rock bands or people and Howard and Robin would guess which one wasn't in the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. It's lame but here goes:
- Ruth Brown
- James Brown
- Jackson Browne
Howard picked Jackson Browne -Correct
|
- The Doors
- Jethro Tull
- Jefferson Airplane
Robin picked Jethro Tull - Correct
|
- Jaymie Mitchell
- Marvin Gaye
- Steve Miller
Howard picked Steve Miller - Correct
|
- Steely Dan
- The Temptations
- Velvet Underground
Robin picked Steely Dan - Correct
|
- Dion
- Bo Diddley
- Paul Anka
Howard picked Paul Anka - Correct
|
- The Yardbirds
- Pink Floyd
- Bruce Springstein
Howard picked Bruce Springstein - Correct
|
So there you have it. Robin and Howard were both pretty good at a pointless game..
- Playboy Playmate Julia Schultz Comes In. 1/23/98. 8:20am
Julia is Playboy Magazine's February Playmate Of The Month. She's 18 years old and naked.. just the way Howard likes it. If you head over to Playboy's web site you can see what she looks like. She sure doesn't look 18, that's for sure. So Howard played with her for a little while this morning. Howard also had Heather the Intern come in to meet Julia because Heather also wants to be in Playboy. Howard thought that Julia could give Heather some pointers. It turns out that Heather has already started the process of getting into the magazine. She's contacted someone about submitting some test photos and she's had some taken. The test photos aren't nudes though. Julia said her test shots were totally naked. Playboy didn't waste any time in telling her she was in either. One day was all it took. Julia is fresh out of High School so Howard asked her if she planned on going to College.. why bother? Her good looks will get her far. She said she wants to be either a model or actress or a combo of both. Howard wanted to find out how smart she was so he asked her a bunch of general knowledge questions. Poor Julia... She didn't know how many feet were in a yard. Here are a few of the other questions she didn't know:
- How many sides on a pentagon? - 7
- What is the square root of 81? - 40
- Who won the Civil War? - We did
She wasn't totally out of it though. She did know some answers:
- Name of Pilgrim's boat? - Mayflower
- Rhode Island a state or country? - State
After the questioning he asked her about things like anal sex and lesbianism. She doesn't do either. She doesn't wax hair off of herself, she shaves. It turns out that she was on her period during the Playboy photo shoot.. Howard asked her about that. Her boyfriend lives with her in her parents house! Lucky man! Howard also found out that Julia had a identical twin sister that died at 6 days old. ''Can you imagine two of you?..'' Howard said to Julia. Julia also claims that her breasts are real, not implants.
- Bret Michaels Calls In. 1/23/98. 8:55am
On Wednesday a woman from IEG came in to give Howard a little preview of another Pamela Lee sex tape that she and ex-boyfriend Bret Michaels made. Bret is the lead singer for Poison. He called in to give his side of the story. I still don't know what his side is because he went on and on without saying much of anything. A few things I got out of the discussion were that he has filed a lawsuit against IEG and he doesn't want the tape to be released. He wouldn't say exactly how he thought the tape was released to IEG. He said that it definitely wasn't him. The tape was made on Halloween 1994. Bret and Pam dated from March 1994 to December 1994 and he basically said that they broke up because he hadn't gotten over his previous girlfriend Christy. The two of them are now living together. At one point during the interview Bret told Howard that he was a little bit ''long winded''. That was putting it mildly. The dude just talks up a storm. He seems like a nice enough guy but he's a bore on the phone. Howard told Bret to keep in touch and let him know what's happening with the lawsuit. Bret must be a fan of the show because he was saying hello to everyone. He even said that he partied with Steve Grillo.
- Super Bowl Betting. 1/23/98. 9:40am
Howard and the gang all went nuts betting on the Super Bowl. The betting was so crazy that there was no way for me to keep up with it. They bet on everything from the coin toss to who on the show would win the most money this weekend. Most of the bets were $50. Howard was well over $500 in bets, probably closer to $700. Gary was writing everything down but Howard told him to have Cathy Tobin listen to the tape and make sure he wrote them down correctly. The people betting were Robin, Howard, Ralph, Fred, Tom Chiusano, Steve Grillo, Gary and Stuttering John. It was crazy. Tune in Monday to find out who won the most.
-- Thursday January 22, 1998 --
- Howard's Scores Party Held Yesterday. 1/22/98. 6:10am
Howard had a Scores party yesterday. Scores is a strip club in New York City. He didn't get into too much detail about it this morning. It may have been some kind of Super Bowl party for him. The reason it came up was because Robin somehow found out when Howard left the party. That was between 3 and 4 in the afternoon. Howard got pissed that someone was telling Robin about the party so he banned just about everyone from the next party. Robin finally gave up her source and Howard decided not to ban anyone from the next party.
- The Breast Implant Beauty Pageant. 1/22/98. 7:55am
Today's beauty pageant was for the chance to win free breast implants. For the past couple of weeks Howard had been taking calls from women who had sad stories to tell about their tiny breasts. Today there were 7 finalists who showed up for the competition. There were originally 18 women on a list but Howard and Robin knocked it down to 8. Only 7 of them showed up. There were 4 judges. Neil Drake, Ralph Cirella, King Of All Blacks and Big Black. Luckily there was no Al Rosenberg today... So Howard talked to the 4 judges for a few minutes and then started the competition. First there was the breast competition. The scale would be from 1 to 10 with 10 being the worst. The second part would be personality. Howard asked the women a couple of questions and they answered them the best they could. Here's how the scoring went:
Sharon |
Neil |
Ralph |
KOAB |
Big Black |
Total |
Breast 10=Worst |
4 |
7 |
7 |
5 |
23 |
Personality |
3 |
2 |
2 |
4 |
11 |
|
Score |
34 |
Tracy |
Neil |
Ralph |
KOAB |
Big Black |
Total |
Breast 10=Worst |
5 |
3 |
2 |
3 |
13 |
Personality |
6 |
6 |
4 |
7 |
23 |
|
Score |
36 |
Michelle |
Neil |
Ralph |
KOAB |
Big Black |
Total |
Breast 10=Worst |
3 |
2 |
10 |
2 |
17 |
Personality |
8 |
2 |
6 |
2 |
18 |
|
Score |
35 |
Leisa |
Neil |
Ralph |
KOAB |
Big Black |
Total |
Breast 10=Worst |
1 |
2 |
8 |
2 |
13 |
Personality |
7 |
7 |
8 |
4 |
26 |
|
Score |
39 |
Debbie |
Neil |
Ralph |
KOAB |
Big Black |
Total |
Breast 10=Worst |
10 |
10 |
10 |
7 |
37 |
Personality |
10 |
8 |
10 |
10 |
38 |
|
Score |
75 |
Angela |
Neil |
Ralph |
KOAB |
Big Black |
Total |
Breast 10=Worst |
9 |
8 |
10 |
5 |
32 |
Personality |
5 |
4 |
10 |
4 |
23 |
|
Score |
55 |
Hope |
Neil |
Ralph |
KOAB |
Big Black |
Total |
Breast 10=Worst |
10 |
10 |
10 |
10 |
40 |
Personality |
8 |
9 |
8 |
7 |
32 |
|
Score |
72 |
After the judging was done for that part they picked the 3 highest scores and those women would do one more competition, talent, to determine the winner. Each woman sang a song.. or at least attempted to sing. Debbie sang ''Hooters, Hooters'' to the tune of ''Louie, Louie''. Angela tried to sing something but it was so awful that Howard didn't let her sing more than 5 seconds. Hope sang a song but I have no idea what it was. It was about her being a stripper and getting implants. This competition would determine the winner. The previous scores had no effect on the outcome. Here's how they scored:
Finals |
Neil |
Ralph |
KOAB |
Big Black |
Final |
Debbie |
7 |
7 |
9 |
7 |
30 |
Angela |
8 |
8 |
10 |
6 |
32 |
Hope |
10 |
10 |
9 |
9 |
38 |
As you can see, Hope was the winner. She had a very masculine voice but Howard said she was cute. Hope will be flying down to Regional Coastal Surgical Associates in Florida where Dr. R. Scott Smith will pump up her breasts with some nice implants. The second place woman won some kind of ''day of beauty'' from a club in New York. The last woman won a $300 gift certificate to a ski shop.
-- Wednesday January 21, 1998 --
- Robin Gives Birthday/Christmas Gift To Howard. 1/21/98. 6:20am
Robin gave Howard a combination birthday/Christmas gift this morning. It was some kind of stone dragon or something like that. Howard seemed to really like the gift. Robin is still insisting that she's not throwing him a surprise birthday show but his station is still giving away tickets just in case there is one... I'm still trying to win...
- Cory Feldman Calls In. 1/21/98. 6:40am
Cory Feldman called in for the second time in the past two weeks. I think he wanted to thank Howard or E! for the show they ran about him. It was basically his life story and it got pretty good ratings. It ran for the second time and did very well so he called in again. Howard was wondering why Cory was calling in again since he just called in last week. Howard ended up goofing on Cory by turning down his microphone and saying stuff so Cory couldn't hear it. First he told Cory that it was his idea to run that special on E! but then he turned off the mic and told everyone except Cory that he didn't have anything to do with the special. This went on for a couple of minutes behind Cory's back. A few minutes after Cory got off the phone with Howard he called back freaking out because of what Howard had done. Someone told him that Howard was goofing and he freaked. Howard told him that he wasn't goofing and went ahead and did it a little more. By the time it was over he'd managed to calm Cory down. I don't think he'll be calling back anytime soon.
- The DJ Quiz. 1/21/98. 7:00am
Howard did this little quiz thing with a couple of DJ's from his station in New York City. Gary had multiple choice questions about broadcasting and they played to see who could get the most right. Playing along with Howard were Julie Slater and Booker. Julie is the mid-day DJ on WXRK. Booker is the 10pm to 2am DJ. The questions were kind of stupid and I don't know why Howard did this but who am I to say anything. Julie said that she never even went to broadcasting school so she wouldn't know much anyway. After they did the quiz thing Howard wanted Julie and Booker to talk up a record to see who could do it best. Julie tried to talk up ''Smoke On The Water'' but had absolutely nothing to say. She's usually not that bad. Booker had a little more to say but it still wasn't that great. Howard, on the other hand, did his thing and did it pretty good.
- Dawn Radenbaugh Comes In. 1/21/98. 7:45am
Dawn who? That's what you're probably thinking.. I know I was. Dawn is a new character on one of Howard's favorite TV shows ''Melrose Place''. She plays a stripper and she's really cute according to Howard. Her being cute was the reason Howard had her on the show. Nobody knows who she is yet but Howard thought that she was so adorable that he had her in. She's 23 years old and already engaged to some older guy. Howard told her that it's a mistake to get married so young. Dawn was hired without an audition. The producers of the show saw her in some movie and contacted her. Now she's on the show. Howard talked to her about the usual sex stuff but she wasn't into talking much about it. I think her parents were listening so she was keeping it quiet. Howard asked her how old her parents were for some reason. Her mother is 43 and her father is 48. Howard is old enough to be her father! He chuckled when he realized that fact. Howard kept telling Dawn how perfect she was. ''Even your hands are perfect..'' he told her. She was a model when she was 17. Howard heard that she was in some lesbian movie. She said that she was in the movie but she played a straight person. The movie is called ''Traveling Companion''. Before she left Howard asked for a hug from her. She said it was okay and went over to hug him. He also managed to get a kiss from her also.
- Howard's Screening Of New Pamela Lee Sex Tape. 1/21/98. 8:45am
A woman from Internet Entertainment Group (IEG) brought in the latest video of Pamela Lee having sex. This time it's with Bret Michaels from Poison. Heather from IEG gave Howard a sneak peak at the upcoming video tape. Next Monday on www.clublove.com they will be premiering the tape on the web. Shortly after that they'll release the video tape for sale. Howard only got to see a small portion of the tape but said that Bret Michaels' pecker is almost as big as Tommy Lee's. From the tape that Howard saw it seems that Pamela really enjoys giving oral sex. Heather told Howard about some of the stuff that's on the tape. First of all there is hardly any talking on the 45 minute tape. There's only like 2 lines of conversation on the whole tape. Pamela and Bret both do a bunch of costume changes during it and Pam does a striptease in a cowgirl outfit. Heather also said that the tape is very hardcore and it's not for the squeamish. At the end of the tape there is some ''self love'' for Pamela. Heather also went over some of the legal issues concerning the tape and the last tape. It all sounds pretty screwy to me. Heather isn't allowed to give details of their settlement with Tommy and Pam and she wouldn't say much about the Bret Michaels legal stuff either. The digitally mastered tape makes it's premiere at 12 noon Pacific time next Monday.
-- Tuesday January 20, 1998 --
- Henry Hill Checks In. 1/20/98. 7:00am
Ex-mobster turned stool pigeon, Henry Hill, was just released from jail so he called in to talk with Howard. Last time Henry came on the show live he forgot to tell his parole officer that he was leaving the state he lives in. That violated his parole so he was arrested in New Jersey at his hotel. Ever since then he was in jail. He was just released so he can call Howard whenever he wants to. Today he was just calling to let Howard know what was going on. Henry has cleaned himself up, he's not doing drugs and it didn't sound like he was drinking. He said that his girlfriend is in jail right now for skipping out on some drug and alcohol program she was in. Other than that there wasn't much else going on. Hopefully he'll start calling in drunk since he's much more entertaining that way.
- Jeff Figer, Dr. Kervorkian's Lawyer, Calls In. 1/20/98. 7:30am
Howard spent a few minutes talking to Dr. Kervorkian's lawyer. Howard thinks that what Dr. Kervorkian is doing is a good thing. If someone wants to die, because of health reasons, they should be allowed to. Howard told Mr. Figer that he'd like to run a contest where people who want to die would have some kind of pageant and whoever won would get to die at the hands of Dr. Kervorkian. Figer didn't think that it was a good idea. It might be entertaining for the radio but it's probably not the kind of publicity that Dr. Kervorkian wants. For those of you who don't know who Kervorkian is, he's a Dr. who assists people who want to commit suicide because of health problems. His most recent assisted suicide was a transsexual who had AIDS.
- Benji The Intern's Close Encounter With Howard. 1/20/98. 8:05am
One of Howard's newest interns had an interesting story to tell on the air this morning. Benji, who's a big fan of Howard's, was sitting in the office one day before he'd met Howard in person. He said that he'd prepared himself for meeting Howard and thought that he wouldn't be nervous. Howard came into the office and Benji said he just smiled nervously. He said that Howard looked at him with ''loving eyes'' or something like that. At one point Howard walked past Benji and as he walked past him he touched his shoulder and squeezed it softly. Benji said he felt a jolt of electricity go through him. He claims that before Howard touched him he couldn't move his shoulder for some reason. Now he says that he's cured. He also claimed that he saw the Virgin Mary after Howard touched him. He said she was pretty hot looking. When I heard all of this I immediately called the show. I told Howard to call security and get him removed. The guy sounded a little wacky. Even Howard said that he was going to lock the studio door after Benji left. Maybe Benji just wanted to get some air time. If Benji has any more strange stories to tell I'll be sure to report them right here.
- Howard Plays Tape From ''E! Behind The Scenes'' Show. 1/20/98. 8:20am
This past weekend there was a special on E! Entertainment that featured behind the scenes footage from a bunch of the E! programs. One of them was, of course, Howard's show. Howard played tape of it because it was pretty funny. They had video of the E! crew like Mike Gange, Doug Goodstein, Scott DePace, Scott Einziger and Robin Radzinski talking about what they do. The funny thing was that when they explained their jobs they didn't really make any sense. They also had footage of people like Gary and Steve Grillo. There was one scene where Scott Einziger explains that he goes in to tell Howard how they're going to shoot a certain segment. He goes in to tell Howard what was going to happen and Howard sort of laughs it off at the end. It turns out that the whole scene was set up for the special. Howard said that they never do stuff like that.
- Rosie O'Donnell's Garbage Exposed. 1/20/98. 8:55am
This guy ''Joe'' called in the other day and said that he'd gone through Rosie O'Donnell's garbage and found some of her used tampons. Today he came down to the studio with the garbage. When he came in he was wearing a ski mask because he didn't want to be identified. The reason he decided to go through her garbage was because Howard once mentioned that he'd like to know what was going on inside her underpants. Well he tried to find her underpants but wasn't quite successful. He did find some other very interesting stuff. He found faxes of scripts for her show. Surprisingly her show is totally scripted. Right down to the questions and answers she asks her guests. Howard found that fact very fascinating. Gary was reading bits and pieces of the scripts out loud. He read one that was between Rosie and Tracy Ullman. Each question and answer was in the script. What a phony Rosie is. ''Joe'' also found an empty mens underwear package. Gary and Howard said that they've heard that Rosie wears mens underwear so it wasn't unusual to find the package. They were XXL size which equals about a 44-46 inch waist! YIKES! That's one large woman! Joe also had the used tampons with him. Howard said that was ''crossing the line..'' but then quickly added ''..okay, let's see..'' Joe showed Howard the disgusting things and Howard almost puked. One other thing that ''Joe'' found in the trash was a picture of Rosie without makeup on. Stuttering John said that she looked like Buddy Hackett. Howard agreed with that. Howard thinks this is all wrong so he doesn't recommend going through people's garbage.
- Record Company Sends Stripper For Howard. 1/20/98. 9:30am
The other day Howard heard a song during the show. He said it sounded pretty cool. Today the record company sent down a stripper for Howard. She was supposed to come in with a birthday cake, sit on the cake and let Howard eat the cake off her ass. Howard didn't want to eat off her ass because he's so germ-phobic so he let Ronnie the limo driver do it instead. The stripper squatted right down in the cake and waddled over to Ronnie so he could take a fork full of it. She ended up doing it a couple of times for him. It sounded like Ronnie was enjoying it. He told Howard that he should try it. ''You only live once'' Ronnie said. Howard didn't do it. The stripper was totally naked when she did this. She dances at a juice bar where they don't serve any alcohol. The strippers are allowed to get totally nude at those places, unlike most go-go bars where they're only allowed to be topless.
- The Breast Implant Give Away Contestants Are Picked. 1/20/98. 9:35am
On Thursday there will be a worst breast pageant. The winner will get free breast implants from a doctor down in Florida. Howard has been taking calls from women who want to compete since last week sometime. Today he and Robin slimmed down the list from 18 to 9 contestants. They tried to choose the saddest stories that they heard. After slimming down the list a woman called in who wanted to enter her 20 year old daughter in the contest. Howard told her that it was a little to late to enter. The woman just about begged Howard to let the girl in but Howard wouldn't let it happen. The woman kept trying to convince Howard that her daughter deserved to be in the contest. She made it sound like all of the other contestants weren't human and that only her daughter should be the winner. She said that her daughter was a huge fan of Howard's and that she would have called in earlier except that she was away on a college break. All of the other women entered on time so there are no exceptions. Stay tuned for the pageant on Thursday!
-- Monday January 19, 1998 --
- Robin Goes To A Yanni Concert! 1/19/98. 6:25am
Where's the last place you'd expect to find Robin? A Yanni concert, that's where. Robin went to the new age music concert with her ex-boyfriend Mr. X this past weekend. She said that the concert was pretty good but that she didn't and wouldn't pay the $70 per ticket cost herself. Her friend Mr. X was the one who wanted to see the concert in the first place so he paid for the tickets although it was Robin who was able to get the tickets. She explained some of what Yanni does in the show and how long it was. It was so long that there was an intermission! She said that it lasted about 3 hours total.
- Caller Of The Week. 1/19/98. 7:25am
Howard hasn't done this in quite a long time. He plays a few calls and they pick one of them as ''Caller Of The Week''. Since he hasn't done it in such a long time the calls were a little old. Here are the calls they voted on:
- Alice the black woman who hates black people yells about stuff
- Mira Segal talks about Steven Segal and Scientology
- Woman with a lesbian story turns out to be a guy pretending to be a woman
The winner was Alice the black woman who hates black people. She wasn't on the phone to accept so that was the end of that. Howard said that Alice is supposed to be moving to New York soon so he'll have her on more often.
- Where's Howard's Birthday Show? 1/19/98. 7:30am
Last Monday was Howard's birthday. Normally Robin would have thrown him a surprise birthday show with tons of celebrity guests. Not this time. Howard still thinks that he's getting one and his proof was a promo that WXRK, where his show originates, has been running. It's the chance to get on the guest list IF Robin has the party. They ran it all weekend long so it looks like there will be a show but Robin is still denying it. Howard seems to think that the show won't happen until next Monday and thinks that it's because of Gary's wife having a baby back in December that threw the schedule off. WXRK was still running the promo today so I'm trying to win... I never win anything though.
- Howard's Complaint About E! Show. 1/19/98. 7:40am
Last Friday there was an animated piece that showed up on the Pamela Lee E! show. It was animated to Howard's own home sex tape. In one of the animated scenes where he shows his wife his private parts E! cubed his genital area. That wouldn't be so bad except that there was nothing there in the animation. There was no penis! That was supposed to be the joke but the E! censors said that it was ''full frontal nudity'' so they had to cube it. Howard caught wind of this before it aired and he tried to get it changed but it couldn't be done. Howard told Fran Shea, head of E!, that when they rerun the show that he wants the cubes removed. We'll have to wait and see what happens.
- Howard Denies Rumors About Saturday Night TV Show. 1/19/98. 8:55am
This past Saturday there was an article in the New York Post which claimed that Howard was going to be announcing a new Saturday night TV show to go up against Saturday Night Live. In the article it said that Howard would be teaming up with David Letterman's production company and Norm MacDonald to do this show. Today Howard said that it was totally untrue. He said that he has talked with CBS about doing a show but not with David Letterman's company or Norm MacDonald. The article quoted this guy Luigi Lucaire, who wrote the ''Howard Stern A to Z'' book, for some reason. Howard didn't know who this Luigi guy was but he liked what he was saying in the article. Gary told him that the book is like a dictionary for the show. This led to Howard playing a trivia game with a listener who had the book at home. The caller said that the book was pretty stupid but Howard played a little bit of trivia anyway. Howard doesn't seem to know his own show very well. He didn't know many answers to the questions the guy was asking.
- King Of All Blacks To Judge Breast Implant Pageant. 1/19/98. 10:35am
Howard took a phone call from a black guy who said he wanted to know why Robin was at work today since it was Martin Luther King Jr. day. Well it turned out to be King Of All Blacks who hasn't been on the show in a while. Robin said that she wasn't going to talk to him because he showed up at her apartment one day. She's pissed at him so she didn't want to talk to him. It turns out that he somehow found out where she lives. One day he was driving around with a woman and he wanted to prove to her that he knew Robin. He went to the apartment building and asked Robin to come out and sign something for his woman friend. Robin sent down an autographed picture of herself. She was really upset by the whole thing. King of All Blacks was so funny this morning that Howard said he'd like him to come down to be one of the judges in the upcoming Breast Implant Pageant. That will happen on Thursday.
-- Friday January 16, 1998 --
- Daniel Carver Movie Reviews. 1/16/98. 7:00am
KKK member, Daniel Carver, called in with 3 new movie reviews this morning. He rates the movies on a scale of 1 to 5 burning crosses. 5 being the best. Today's movie reviews were ''Greystoke: The Legend Of Tarzan'', ''Philadelphia'' and ''The Bird Cage''. Last time Daniel was on Howard said that he wanted Daniel to watch an old Tarzan movie too see what his reaction would be. Well he didn't rent an old on, he rented ''Greystoke'' instead. He said that the movie was just okay and that Tarzan only killed one black man in it. ''Philadelphia'' is about a gay guy so of course Daniel didn't care for that movie. ''The Bird Cage'' was also about gay people but it was a comedy so he gave it a bit of a break. Here's how he rated the movies:
- ''Greystoke: The Legend Of Tarzan'' - 3 burning crosses
- ''Philadelphia'' - 0 burning crosses
- ''The Bird Cage'' - 2 burning crosses
One thing ruined this segment.. Al Rosenberg, wait a second.. Untalented Al Rosenberg. He was doing his lame assed black impression again. Al hadn't been in earlier in the week but for some reason he was in today ruining the show like he was last week. The guy can do 3 bad impressions, Ed McMahon, a really bad black impression and Mr. T. They all suck but that's what he does. Maybe he was funny back in 1989 when he was on the WWOR show but Al's not funny now.
- Esther The 400 Pound Woman Comes In. 1/16/98. 8:15am
This woman, Esther, called in earlier in the week looking to get in touch with Richard Simmons so that she could lose some weight. She said that she weighed 400 pounds and that she needed some inspiration to lose some of that. Howard talked her out of contacting Richard Simmons and told her to come down to the studio so he could see her. He told her that he'd tell her how to lose weight. Well she showed up today but Gary told Howard that she didn't look like 400 pounds. She looked more like 350.. wow! big difference huh? Well, this led to Howard and the gang betting on what her actual weight was. Each person bet $20, who ever came closest without going over would win the jackpot. Since it was kind of like ''The Price Is Right'' game, Howard called it ''The Ass Is Fat''. Here's how everyone bet:
- Mike Gange - 350
- Robin - 415
- Gary - 385
- Doug Goodstein - 335
- Scott DePace - 370
- Robin Radzinski - 411
- Tom Chiusano - 355
- Fred - 375
- Brian - 390
- Howard - 1 pound
Howard bet one pound in case she weighed less than everyone else's guess. Well she ended up weighing in at 355 pounds so Tom Cheapasano won the $200. I believe that he gave some of that money to Esther. Howard spend quite a bit of time with Esther and by the end of the interview he'd found out what her diet consisted of yesterday. She ate 3 quarts of ice cream for breakfast then for dinner she ate 4 dinner rolls with butter. Then at 4am she had a giant Tootsie Roll. Howard told her that she can come back on the show in 3 months and if she loses 50 pounds she WON'T have to show him her giant underwear. If she doesn't lose it she has to pull down her pants and show those giant panties. Let's all hope that she loses the weight. Howard's new sponsor, Bumble Bee Tuna, offered a free 3 month supply of tuna for Esther. One thing that Esther admitted to was being a virgin. She's been fat for her whole life so not too many guys have wanted her. A couple of listeners called in and offered to date her but one of them was a nutty chubby chaser and the other just wanted to hang out with her. At one point in the interview she asked Howard about Jackie. She asked where he was. Howard responded with ''..he's dead.. Some fat chick ate him''. Then he said that Jackie wanted more money and he wasn't with the show anymore. I'm sure we'll be hearing from Esther in the future.
- The Mike Walker Game With Guest Supermodel Veronica Webb. 1/16/98. 9:10am
Supermodel Veronica Webb came in and played The Mike Walker Game today. She was also in to ask for help for ''Life Beat'' an AIDS charity. Before Howard interviewed Veronica they played the game. I'll get that out of the way first. Mike Walker of The National Enquirer gives them 4 gossip stories. One of the stories is false, try to pick it. Here are the 4 stories:
- O.J. was pulled over by police for speeding. The officer didn't recognize Juice until he saw his drivers license. O.J. Thought that he'd been pulled over just because he's O.J. and said ''You guys are never going to leave me alone are you?'' and sped off.
- CBS Television is planning a special tribute to Sonny Bono which will star Cher and Sonny's many wives.
- A pregnant fan of Robin Williams went up to him at a health food store. She ended up throwing up on him. Robin then replied ''I've gotten better reviews..''
- Oprah Winfrey looks so different with no make-up on that when she walked off a set recently a rent-a-cop wouldn't let her back in because he didn't believe it was her. She ended up giving the guy a full time position.
Veronica picked number 2 as the false story. Howard also picked number 2 just because Veronica did. He was falling in love with the 5'10'' beauty. Gary picked number 3, Robin picked number 4 and Al Rosenberg picked 2. The actual false story was number 2. After the game Howard had to take a break. After the break he spent some time talking to Veronica about her life. Howard brought up the fact that Pamela Lee is on tonight's E! show so Veronica mentioned that she had seen the Pamela Lee home sex video. She was talking about some scene where Pam put on her sunglasses. Howard didn't remember that part but he just remembers how great a camera man Tommy Lee was. Tommy's able to do some amazing camera work while he's having sex.Veronica has also written a book so Howard had some notes about some of the stuff in it. The book doesn't come out until next month so she wasn't promoting it today. Howard kept asking her about dating Spike Lee and Robert DeNiro but she didn't want to talk about it.
Howard eventually got around to talking about this ''Life Beat'' thing that she was there for. She sits on the board of Life Beat. It's an AIDS charity backed by the music industry. Gary also sits on the board. Life Beat is looking for donations. They really need office space because their current space will have to be given up by next Thursday. They also need office supplies and, of course, money. They need 2500 square feet of space in New York City so if you can donate that just give them a call at 212-245-3240.
Veronica eventually broke down and talked a little bit about Spike Lee and Robert DeNiro but didn't get into too much detail. She said that Robert DeNiro broke her heart. She didn't want to talk much about it until she returns to promote the book. I guess that will happen next month.
Before Veronica left Howard asked her to give him a hug and kiss. She went over but it sounded like she was a little bit disgusted by the whole thing. When Howard went to kiss her she buried her head so he couldn't get to it. Poor Howard..
-- Thursday January 15, 1998 --
- Breast Implant Contest - Beauty Pageant. 1/15/98. 6:55am
Howard still has a set of breast implants to give away to a lucky listener. A Doctor down in Florida gave the prize to Howard recently. Howard took a bunch of calls from women who think they need the implants. The calls ranged from a woman who had a flat chest to a woman who already had implants but wanted them bigger. There was also a woman who wants to get into porno so she needs the implants. I think what's going to happen is Howard will narrow the list down to 5 women and have them come into the studio to have some kind of beauty pageant or something. When that happens I'll be sure to report on it right here.
- Howard Speaks To Scientific Map's Father. 1/15/98. 7:00am
Howard and Robin have been talking about this basketball player who's name is Scientific Map. The fact that someone named their child ''Scientific Map'' intrigued Howard. Gary got in touch with the kid's father and Howard spoke to him this morning. The father's name is Edward Map. He told Howard that he had problems with his name when he was a child and didn't like it. He didn't really have a good reason for naming his kid Scientific though. He has another son by the name of Majestic. His other children have odd names but they don't really go with Map. There's also a basketball player by the name of Exree Hipp.. All of this is kind of funny to Howard but Mr. Map doesn't think it is. He said that his children are unique as are their names.
- Guy With Tattoo's Of Howard And Robin Comes In. 1/15/98. 8:00am
Some guy came in who wanted Howard and Robin to autograph his back where he has tattoo's of both of them. Howard spent a few minutes looking over the guy's many tattoo's. He had all kinds of odd things tattooed to himself. He has ''Darkwing Duck'' which looked a lot like Daffy Duck according to Howard. He also has a turtle, a cross and some other odd things. The tattoo artist who did some of the work was also in the studio. He's from Lotus Tattoo somewhere on Long Island. The guy said that it took about 5 hours to do the tattoo of Howard and about 2 hours for the Robin. Ouch!
- Nick Chapman, Author Of ''How To Have The Perfect Secret Affair'', Calls In. 1/15/98. 8:35am
This guy wrote a book about how to cheat on your spouse. The guy gave some hints on how to do it. Simple things like:
- Don't change your appearance all of a sudden
- Don't change your routine
- Don't use your home telephone to talk to the other person
- Think before you talk to your spouse
Those were just a few examples he gave. Howard took a couple of phone calls from people also. Some of them complained that the guy was a loser and some praised him for writing the book. One guy said that he just cheated on his fiance last night! The book is available from his web site at www.perfectsecretaffair.com
- Howard To Hold Press Conference Next Week? 1/15/98. 9:25am
After listening to Mr. Blackwell's top 10 list of the worst dressed people for 1997 a couple of times, Howard decided that he'd like to do one himself. Each year Mr. Blackwell holds a press conference and reads off this list of the worst dressed people for the year before. He has an awful delivery, he makes lame rhymes, and he's very effeminate when he speaks. He mispronounces a lot of names and sounds like he's reading something that he's never read before. Howard started to goof on it late in the show and had a brilliant idea. He wants to hold a press conference so he can announce the top 10 gayest men of 1997. He was practicing making rhymes and impersonating Mr. Blackwell's delivery. Howard told Gary to call the press so they could hold the press conference but Gary isn't so sure that any press will show up. We'll see...
-- Wednesday January 14, 1998 --
- The Funniest Phony Phone Call Ever!? 1/14/98. 7:40am
Howard was talking up this phony phone call like it was the best one he'd ever heard. Just before he played it he said that maybe he was exaggerating a little bit. The call was made by a couple of guys up in Canada. The guy making the call pretended to be Pavarotit's manager or something. He called room service at some hotel and told the woman that he was ordering breakfast for Pavarotti. In the background you could hear ''Pavarotti'' singing away. The call was pretty funny but it sure wasn't the funniest ever. It's hard to describe it here so I'll give it up now..
- Private Parts Stand-Up Giveaway Game. 1/14/98. 8:25am
Howard decided to try and give away another one of these ''Private Parts'' movie stand-ups after The King Of All Recorders asked for one. KOAR played ''Dead or Alive'' for the stan-up but lost after getting only 2 out of 4 correct.
- Steve Grillo Interviews Celebrities At Rolling Stone Cover Party. 1/14/98. 8:50am
Howard played tape of a couple of interviews that Steve got at this special party for Rolling Stone magazine's 30th anniversary. The interviews weren't that good. As a matter of fact Howard forgot that he was playing the tape halfway through it when 2 women called in who were having phone sex. They conference-called Howard and moaned a little bit. Then Owen Cass and Carnie Wilson called in and that distracted him even more. After he was done with Cass and Wilson he got back to the interviews. Grillo got Peter Wolf from The J Giles Band, Robin Quivers (yes Robin was there) and Carlos Santana. It wasn't much. Not even worth playing really.
- Owen Cass And Carnie Phillips Call In. 1/14/98. 9:10am
Owen Cass, daughter of Mama Cass from ''The Mamas and The Papas'', called in to complain about Howard calling her fat yesterday during the news. She is fat but she wanted to complain anyway. On the phone with her was Carnie Wilson of ''Wilson Phillips''. Howard and Owen argued about how Mama Cass died back in the early 70's. Howard heard that she died while choking on a ham sandwich. The official cause of death was a heart attack so Owen argued with Howard for a while. Howard had both of them sing while they were on the phone. He wanted to see if Owen could sing like her mother. She can sing but not that great. Carnie also sang for Howard.
- Robin To Be On Jeopardy Again? 1/14/98. 9:50am
Robin may be doing Celebrity Jeopardy once again. They're going to be doing the first ever favorite celebrity Jeopardy game in April. Robin asked Howard if she should do it again. Howard said as long as she's not up against Mark McEwen again she should do it. She lost to Mark the last time she played the game. Last time she played against comedian Rob Schneider and Mark McEwen. She came in second place.
- The Adventures Of Ralph. 1/14/98. 10:10am
Howard's buddy Ralph came in this morning with disgusting subway story. He explained how he was on the train on his way in to the city. He saw an empty seat next to an old guy so he grabbed it. The guy wasn't looking too good, he looked like he was going to throw up or something, so Ralph decided to move from his seat. He stood up and when he looked back he noticed that there was feces on the old man's jacket and on the seat. Then Ralph looked down at his favorite sweat pants and noticed that it was on him!!! That's why the seat was empty next to the old man! Ralph said when he got off the train he just ran. He went to a deli and got some napkins to wipe the crap off. Then he went and bought some new pants. He didn't throw out the sweats he was wearing because they're his favorite. I think I would have set them on fire favorite or not. So that was the first adventure. Howard then went on to tell Ralph's California story. Ralph was out there for like a month. It turns out that he stayed with actor John Stamos for a few days out there. He went over to Stamos' house for a new year's eve party and stayed over night. He wouldn't give any exact time that he stayed there but said it was a few days total. Not only that but he went to Disneyland with John and his woman. His woman is a model, Rebecca Romijin.. When they went to Disneyland they all stayed in the same hotel room too! They had two double beds so they stayed together. Howard thought that was a bit strange. Ralph said he didn't think it was odd until Howard brought it up. Howard wanted to talk to John and find out what was up with all of this but he wasn't home this morning. Ralph also said that he stayed with John's family for a couple of days. He said the family was really nice. It turns out that Steve Grillo has also hung out with John Stamos. Stamos actually called Steve to wish him happy birthday at one time. If Howard gets John on the phone I'll be sure to report on it here.
-- Tuesday January 13, 1998 --
- Still No Birthday Show. 1/13/98. 6:05am
Howard still thinks that he's going to have a birthday show sometime this week. Robin keeps telling him that there's nothing planned. Howard asked her to look in his eyes and tell him that. She was obviously lying to him. She almost admitted to having something planned but still denied it.
- Private Parts Stand-Up Give Away. 1/13/98. 6:40am
Howard has some prizes to give away. He has a bunch of ''Private Parts'' 6' stand-ups courtesy of Warner Brothers. Howard played a few games today to give some away. First they played ''Dead or Alive'' where the lucky caller gets to guess whether or not a celebrity is dead. The first caller got 4 out of 4 guesses correct. The second game they played later in the show was to guess the old TV tunes. Howard let a couple of callers play this game. One of the callers knew way too many of the tunes. Howard was so impressed by the guy that he let him guess on about 15 different tunes. He may play in the future sometime.
- Web Site Of The Day - www.voyeurplay.inter.net 1/13/98. 7:25am
Howard got a fax from someone with this web site on it. This part of the site has pictures from inside a toilet looking up at a woman. It sounds pretty messed up so I haven't visited it but here's the link anyway: www.voyeurplay.inter.net/hallpix.html
- 10 Steps To Enjoying A Woman. 1/13/98. 7:45am
Howard read an article in this new magazine ''Maxim'' about what women like when it comes to sex. He read most of it on the air this morning. There wasn't much going on today on the show.. I can't list all 10 steps here but some of the subjects covered were hints on oral sex, how to handle a woman's breasts and how sex should be taken slowly.
-- Monday January 12, 1998 --
- Howard's Birthday! 1/12/98. 6:05am
Happy Birthday Howard! He's 44 today. No, there wasn't a special birthday show today. Howard was expecting one but he didn't get it today. Robin and Gary both told Howard that there won't be one this year. He doesn't believe them. He thinks there will be one sometime this week. Howard shares his birthday with some other famous people which they talked about this morning. Rob Zombie - 32, Kirstie Alley - 43, The Amazing Kreskin - 63, Rush Limbaugh - ? and Henny Youngman - 92 are some of those people. Kreskin called in later in the show to wish Howard a happy birthday. Howard couldn't take it and ended up hanging up on him.
- A Corey Feldman Story. 1/12/98. 7:05am
This guy Bob called in this morning to tell Howard a story about Corey Feldman. Bob claims that he was involved in a hit and run accident with Corey. He said that Corey hit him and left the scene of the accident. Now Bob is suing Corey for injuries he got in the accident. Within a couple of minutes Corey was on the phone to defend himself. Corey told his side of the story and it was a bit different than Bob's. Corey said that he just tapped Bob's car when Bob stopped at a green light. The damage to Bob's car was $800 which isn't much these days. You can do $2000 worth of damage to a car just by backing into a lamp post.. don't ask how I know. Anyway, Bob and Corey argued on the phone for a few minutes about all of this crap and didn't get anywhere with it. Bob went to The National Enquirer with his story and got a fee for it so maybe he's exaggerating a bit. Bob kept insulting Corey's acting ability but it wasn't making him look good. He came off as a real jerk who's just out to make some money off of a very minor accident.
- More On Jackie. 1/12/98. 8:15am
A caller asked Howard if there was any more developments with Jackie's contract negotiations. Howard said that ''..we dig him..'' and that they wish that they'd (Jackie and Tom Chiusano) work things out. He's not even sure if they're still in negotiations.. So he says. Howard also said that if something doesn't happen soon he'd have to move on. There was also a mention of some ''interesting new developments'' made by Howard. I don't know what they are but I'd think he'd announce them soon. Now for some good news for those of you who didn't like hearing Al Rosenberg's awful impressions in the background, don't worry. Howard said that Al will not be replacing Jackie... Whew!
- Contest Winners From England Come In. 1/12/98. 8:30am
Howard had a couple of women, who won a contest in England, come in to the studio this morning. One woman won the contest when she answered a question about Howard correctly. She said that she couldn't remember what the question was. Somehow Howard got on the subject of how Gary has to talk to clients who advertise on the station. Howard used to do it himself but didn't have time anymore. Gary brought up a very interesting story about a recent meeting. He met with the 16 year old kid who runs the Bumble Bee Tuna division. The job was handed down to the kid from his father. This kid makes all of the decisions for the company! There is some guy who goes around with him to make sure he doesn't do anything crazy but he makes the decisions. Gary said that the kid offered the corporate jet to Howard anytime he needs it! Howard wished that he had taken that meeting. It sounded too interesting to have missed.
- Howard Talks To Disabled Celestine. 1/12/98. 8:50am
If you've been a fan of the show for a few years then you might remember Celestine. She's a woman who was born with no legs or arms. She hangs out down in Atlantic City on the boardwalk and plays an electronic keyboard with her tongue! Well, she called in today to tell Howard that she's working for McDonald's now. She goes around on her gurney handing out flyers for a McDonald's restaurant down in Atlantic City. It may be her first real job ever. She usually makes money playing the keyboard for hand-outs. If you're ever down in A.C. make sure you keep an eye out for her, it's quite a site to see.
- Mother Of Missing Son Calls In. 1/12/98. 9:15am
Howard talked to Susan Andrews this morning. Her 22 year old son disappeared on New Year's Eve and hasn't been seen since. She called Howard because she found a post-it note with Howard's name and number on it. She figures that if he heard the show he'd call home. She still has hope that he'll come home okay but it sure doesn't look good. The kid is 6'4'' tall and is very, uhh, unique looking from what I've seen. If you know where he is.. well call the cops or whatever.
-- Friday January 9, 1998 --
- Results For Scott The Engineer Push-up Survey. 1/9/98. 6:25am
Howard's New York Station was taking a phone poll on whether or not Scott did his push-ups or not. Howard announced the results this morning. The split was closer than I thought it would be. 56% voted that he DID NOT do his 17 push-ups. 44% voted that he did. I watched the video tape and it was so obvious that he didn't do all 17. Scott has been celebrating his non-victory. A listener saw him out at a celebration dinner last night and this morning, he said to Robin ''Shall I say F-You now that I have your money?''. They gave him the money out of pity, not because he won the bet. He's a loser and he's rubbing it in that he took their money. What a dick!
- The Mike Walker Game With Guest Andy Rickter. 1/9/98. 7:50am
Andy Rickter(spelling?) is Conan O'Brien's sidekick on his ''Late Night'' show. I don't know why he came in this morning other than to play the Mike Walker game. Howard didn't talk to Andy much before they played the game. He put Mike Walker on the phone and tried to play the game. They got in a discussion about Kathy Lee Gifford and how she defended Michael Kennedy after he died in a skiing accident. They finally got around to playing the game so here we go. Four stories are given, one of them is false. Try to pick the false story:
- The Gregory Hines Show has had problems getting an audience so they've had to hire professional laughers at $90 a day to fill the seats.
- Tori Spelling had her father change the script for ''Beverly Hills 90210'' so that she could date her new man, Vincent Young, on the show as she is doing in real life now.
- Mike Tyson made a special Christmas visit to an 11 year old child who's family wrote him a letter telling him what a fan the kid was.
- Jackie Stallone, Sylvester's mother, asked a man who she thought was a bell hop to bring her bags up to her room. When she went to give him a $4 tip, he said that he was actor Ray Liotta.
Andy picked number 2 as the fake. Robin picked number 3 and Howard picked number 4. The actual false story was number 3. A listener called in around this time to tell Howard that he saw Andy and his wife at a strip club. It turned out to be true. Andy said his wife sits at the bar and hands out singles to the female dancers. Andy also gave a little history about how he got the job working with Conan O'Brien. He used to be an improv actor. He was the first person hired as a writer for Conan's show. They stuck him in the seat next to Conan and now he makes over half a million dollars a year.
- More Great Ratings News For Stern Affiliates. 1/9/98. 8:45am
Howard got some great news from Canada. He's gone to number 1 up there in Montreal and Toronto. This has happened in 3 months since the show started up there. There was also great news from Philadelphia where Howard is still number one with an 11.7 rating.
- Meet The Intern - Heather, NY Knicks City Dancer. 1/9/98. 9:10am
Howard interviewed one of the newest Interns on the show. Her name is Heather and she's a New York Knicks City Dancer. The dancers come out during time-outs and breaks during New York Knicks basketball games. She's very attractive according to most of the guys on the show. Howard asked her to demonstrate some of her dance moves but she said that she didn't want to do them. She said she's too shy. She can dance in front of thousands of b'ball fans but not in front of a few guys in the studio. Gary ended up demonstrating some of their more provocative moves since he's seen them done quite a few times. Gary said that he would try to get a couple of the other dancers to come down and do a demo for the show.
- Web Site Of The Day - www.cuseeme.com. 1/9/98. 9:45am
Howard said that he just had to mention this web site www.cuseeme.com. He was on it the other day and he thought it was pretty cool. You can download software which allows you to chat with other people who have camera's pointed at themselves. You don't need a camera to see other people though. Howard tried it without the camera first to see what was going on. He chatted with some people and thought it was cool. He then hooked up a camera and put some kind of skull in front of the camera since he didn't want anyone to see his face. People thought he was pretty funny doing that but eventually got sick of him and blocked him out. Howard said the software costs you about $29.
-- Thursday January 8, 1998 --
- Howard's Final Decision About Scott's Bet!? 1/8/98. 6:20am
Howard had what he thought was his final decision made about Scott's bet from yesterday. He decided not to pay Scott because he felt that Scott did not do what he was supposed to do. Howard, Robin and Scott all talked about the bet and the push-ups for over an hour. Howard was trying to get Scott to admit to not doing the push-ups the correct way. Scott would not crack. He kept saying ''I did what I had to do'' over and over again. At one point Scott's wife called in and backed Scott up. Howard just wanted Scott to say that he didn't do real push-ups and he would pay him even though he lost. Howard said what Scott had actually done was ''worms'' where the body doesn't remain stiff. His head would go up then the chest then the hips. Scott once again said ''I did what I had to do''. He seemed to think that all he had to do was touch the referee's hand with his chest. Scott resisted for well over an hour until Howard had to take a break. After the break he made his decision...
- Scott Makes His Final Decision. 1/8/98. 7:45am
Scott came in after a commercial break to tell Howard that he'd watched the videotape ''..with a clear head.'' and that he'd come to a conclusion. He finally broke down and said that he had not completed 17 good push-ups and that he lost the bet. Howard and Robin then agreed to pay him the money even though he had lost. They just know that he's a loser and that if they didn't pay him he'd just be his usual sad-sack self. Fred also agreed to pay his portion of the bet, $1,000. I'm assuming that Jackie's $5,000 will also be included. Same for Dominic Barbara's 5 grand.
- Todd Newton From E! Calls In. 1/8/98. 8:15am
Yesterday when Debra Gibson was in she mentioned that she's been faxing and talking on the phone with a new man. His name is Todd Newton and he's a reporter on E! television. This morning Howard talked to Todd about how he and Debbie met. Todd explained how they met at the premiere of ''The Lion King'' play in New York City. He was reporting on the premiere and Debbie was there to see the play. He introduced himself and he said there was a chemistry between them. She convinced him to buy a fax machine so they could stay in touch. They've also spoken on the phone quite a bit for hours at a time. Howard wanted to know if he'd slept with her yet. Todd didn't seem interested in doing that right away but by the end of the interview he said that he would like to get to that point some time. It sounds like he's just playing it cool right now so he doesn't screw things up.
- Some ''Private Parts'' Movie News. 1/8/98. 8:30am
Yesterday Howard mentioned that ''Private Parts'' will be airing on HBO in February. Today he mentioned that the movie has been nominated for a Blockbuster Video award. You can vote on line at the following address: http://www.blockbuster.com/awards/index4.html. He also said that the movie was nominated for some International Film Award or something like that. If and when the movie wins I'll be sure to mention it here. You can also vote for the movie over at Entertainment Weekly's site.
- Norm MacDonald Comes In. 1/8/98. 8:55am
Norm MacDonald was the comedian on Saturday Night Live who did the ''Weekend Update'' segment each week. Well he was fired from that position and he came in today to talk about it. He's still on SNL but he's not going to be doing the ''Weekend Update'' anymore. It took Howard quite a while to get Norm talking. Norm seemed a little groggy this morning. It didn't seem like he was in the mood to be talking at all. Eventually he started talking about how he was fired. It happened during the Christmas holidays. The first thing he mentioned was the fact that Chris Farley had just died and how he went to the funeral. Then one day he got message to call the president of NBC, Don Olmyer. When he got in touch with the guy he was told that he wasn't funny and that he wouldn't be doing the ''Weekend Update'' anymore. He'll still be doing the stupid skits on the show but that's not what he's best at and he hates doing them. Chaunce Hayden from ''Steppin' Out'' magazine called in and said he had a theory about why Norm was let go from that position. He thought it had something to do with a recent ''Rolling Stone'' article about the SNL crew. Norm said that wasn't true though. There was another theory in the newspaper today saying that it had something to do with the fact that Norm will be hosting the ESPY Awards on ABC in the near future. Norm also said that wasn't true because it's being produced by SNL Producer, Lorne Michaels. So no one is quite sure why it happened. His replacement is supposed to be Colin Quinn, another SNL member. Before Norm left he mentioned that he had a friend with him. This guy, Artie Lange, used to be on ''MAD TV'' until he was fired. Norm also told that story, which turned out to be a long yet interesting story. It had a lot to do with his use of drugs and the fact that he lost a ton of money gambling. His story was actually more entertaining than Norm's was. After the interview Howard said that Artie was a new friend of the show. All he has to do is get in some more trouble and he can come back on. Norm and Artie will be in a new movie called ''Dirty Work'' which comes out March 27. It was directed by Bob Saget.
-- Wednesday January 7, 1998 --
- Howard Returns From Vacation. 1/7/98. 6:00am
Howard's back from his 2 ½ week vacation. He said that he didn't do anything during the vacation except chat on America Online. Robin, on the other hand, was in Monte Carlo. She didn't give any details, just a quick mention. Ralph was out in California for about 4 weeks or so. No word on what Fred or Gary had done. Scott The Engineer was preparing for his Flabby Ass Challenge and managed to lose about 45 pounds!
- Still No Jackie. 1/7/98. 6:05am
Jackie was still absent from the show so the outlook is even dimmer for his return. All I can say is don't hold your breath waiting for him to return. For those of you who aren't aware of this story it looks like Jackie Martling has left the show over a contract dispute. You might want to check my December 97 news archives for more info.
- Scott The Engineer's Flabby Ass Challenge. 1/7/98. 7:35am
!!! THIS WILL AIR ON E! Entertainment TONIGHT AT 11:00!!! Let me just start by saying that this thing lasted at least 3 hours! There was so much going on that it wore me out. The bet was for Scott to do 17 push-ups. If he did them he'd get a total of $31,000! If he lost he was to walk down the street naked and pay Howard and Robin $1000 each. Here's how the money situation was set up to come to $31,000:
- Howard put up $10,000
- Robin put up $10,000
- Jackie put up $5,000
- Fred put up $1,000
- Dominic Barbara put up $5,000
Howard said that Jackie had put up the money before he left the show and had given them a check. Howard said that Jackie probably put a stop payment on the check since then though... Before Howard started the whole thing Gary announced that Scott had arrived with an entourage of his own. He was surrounded by a bunch of people and he refused to speak to anyone. Gary also said that Scott had called in sick on Monday and Tuesday. He was supposed to be in to help set up for everything. He was probably working out. It was obvious that Scott had been working out quite a bit since he managed to lose 45 pounds in about 6 weeks. Howard started everything off by introducing some of the people who would be the audience watching the challenge live. Here are some of them: Ronnie The Limo Driver, Al Rosenberg, Neil Drake, Dominic Barbara High Pitched Eric, Slow Adam, Scott The Engineer's first trainer, Cerebral Palsey Comedian, Big Blackie, a couple of Scott's neighbors and a listener who won her chance at coming down. Debbie Gibson, or Debra as she's now known, sang the National Anthem after talking to Howard for a few minutes. She was wearing a bra and a see through top according to Howard. She did a great job singing and she knew the words by heart. Debbie is appearing in ''Beauty And The Beast'' in New York. Howard took a break after the National Anthem and they got down to business. There was a lot of controversy going on. Scott refused to talk to anyone but Howard wanted to explain the rules to him one more time. After a few minutes and Howard almost canceling the bet, Scott finally came in. Howard explained that Dean the intern would be the referee. Dean would have his hand flat on the floor and Scott would have to touch the hand with his chest for the push-up to count. He's not supposed to bend his knees either. Scott agreed to the rules and off he went. As he began to do his push-ups the studio erupted in a mass of yelling people. You couldn't hear a thing that was going on. After a short time you could hear people yelling ''Seventeen, seventeen...'' like Scott had managed to do his 17 push-ups. Other people were yelling that he wasn't doing them correctly. Howard tried to calm people down and finally got Dean to give his judgement. His initial statement was that Scott had not done 17 push-ups. The arguing went on between everyone for a few minutes. Howard kept asking Dean over and over if Scott had done the push-ups the way he was supposed to. Dean was confused. He changed his mind so many times that there was no clear answer. Scott was yelling like a mental patient again saying that Howard was trying to welch on his bet. Eventually they agreed to let Dean go view a videotape of the segment so he could judge it again to be sure of what had happened. They took another break so that everyone could calm down and come to their senses. When they came back Dean had his final(?) decision. He had watched the tape 3 times and said that it looked like Scott had done 17. So they had an answer.. or did they? Howard refused to believe that Scott had done 17 the correct way. He and the rest of the gang watched the tape and it was obvious to them that Scott had only done 16 half-assed push-ups at the most. Needless to say this went on and on for another hour and a half. Howard and Robin couldn't decide whether or not to pay Scott. On one hand he hadn't done what he was supposed to but on the other hand they didn't want him moping around like a beat dog if they didn't pay him. Howard changed his mind many times and never came to a final decision. He said he'd make it tonight and announce what he'd do tomorrow. Robin was almost the same way. So anyway, the final decision on how many push-ups Scott had done was 16. Even Scott's trainer, Radu, had watched the tape and saw the 16. There were actually 17 push-ups but Dean had disqualified one because it wasn't within the rules. There was still discussion about the push-ups when Howard was ending the show around 11am. It's not over yet. Tune in tomorrow for more... Remember THIS WILL AIR ON E! Entertainment TONIGHT!!!
- Record Ratings In New York! 1/7/98. 10:15am
Somewhat overshadowed by the whole Scott controversy was the announcement by Tom Chiusano that Howard had achieved the highest ratings he'd ever gotten in New York City. He managed a 9.6 in the last rating period. I didn't catch all of the info that Tom rattled off but it's great to hear that Howard is still number 1.
-- Tuesday January 6, 1998 --
- The Best Of Stern - Guest Host Sandra Bernhard. 1/6/98.
Ahhh, the last day of Best Of... Here are today's featured bits:
- Howard's run for Libertarian Party nomination day 2
- ''Scott's A Loser'' song parody
- ''When Scott Does 17'' song parody
- ''Scream 3'' movie commercial parody
-- Monday January 5, 1998 --
- The Best Of Stern - Guest Host William Shatner. 1/5/98.
That's right folks, Howard has two vacation days this week. He'll be back live on Wednesday. Here are today's featured bits:
- Howard goofs on a caller
- Howard's bus trip to Albany for his bid in the 1994 Gubernatorial election
- ''Scotty Says'' song parody
- ''When Scott Does 17'' song parody
- ''Scream 3'' movie commercial parody
- Frank Sinatra album parody
-- Friday January 2, 1998 --
- The Best Of Stern. 1/2/98.
Here are today's featured bits:
- A Moment In Crackhead Bob History
- ''I've Got You Babe'' performed by Crackhead Bob and Fred the Elephant Boy
- Fartman VS Freddy Kreuger
- ''Scotty Says'' song parody
- Actor Michael Moriarity comes in
- ''When Scott Does 17'' song parody
- ''Scott's A Loser'' song parody
- Bob McCalister argues with Howard about TV violence
- Howard and Gary bet on a basketball game - Loser has to put nose by the other's ass while he farts
- ''Scream 3'' movie commercial parody
- Howard wins the basketball bet - Gary's nose goes in for the fart
- Mark Hamill comes in during bet fart
-- Thursday January 1, 1998 --
- No Show Today - New Years Day. 1/1/98.
Happy New Year!
- The Final Word On Jackie?
I know that everyone is going nuts waiting to hear what will happen with Jackie the Jokeman. Well it doesn't look good. I was over at The Interactive King Of All Media Newsletter and he's got a link to a classified ad for what looks like Jackie's job. There are a couple of other links over at koam.com that you may want to check out if you're interested in the story. Click here for the link to the classified ad.